#which is unfortunate because by and large it’s the least funny dub

[romanceyourdemons]

true best part of fist of fury (1972) is the song at the beginning that goes “i use my hands, to hold my fellow man…. i use my hands, to give a kind caress. but when a man chooses to hurt his fellow man…… i change my hands, into fists. fists of fury.” the second-best part is that in the mandarin version (which i couldn’t find unfortunately) petrov was voiced by bruce lee with added reverb

[chipistotallysane]

I wrote a bit for what I am now dubbing my Forever Trapped AU! This is when Ben meets Rook and how Rook finds out about the trauma Ben went through because of the Forever Knights :3

-------

It was going so good.

When Ben had met Rook, he was expecting him to know what happened all those years ago. The issues he faced because of the Forever Knights were still present after all, no matter how much time had passed. He thought Gwen would’ve at least told him a little bit.

The thing was, Rook didn’t know a single thing. He only knew the Forever Knights as some villain of the week. A menial foe the (in)famous Ben Tennyson left for his partners to deal with. Rook was a clean slate, he wasn’t going to act all weird around him (except for the small idolization he had, but that would fade fast). In the eyes of Rook, Ben would be… as close to normal as he ever could be.

That fact alone made him want to cry happy tears and hug the living daylights out of him. That wasn’t very normal though, so he played it cool. Rook was a bit strange sometimes, but hey so was Ben. He was funny (in a deadpan-sarcasm sorta way, which Ben had too!), and an amazing fighter, and they got along great! Rook was basically his best friend at this point, and they teased and laughed at each other just like best friends do. He couldn’t be more happy, and he must’ve texted Gwen at least a hundred thank you’s and another two hundred for Grandpa Max and Kevin for this. He was slightly nervous to be without them at first, but with Rook and his newfound normalcy he felt like he could take on anything that came his way.

Unfortunately, nothing good lasts forever. Especially with Ben Tennyson.

The day had started normal as ever, deceptively normal. Ben woke up, brushed his teeth, took a shower, ate breakfast. Then he got an alert about some goons or whatever trying to infiltrate a local museum. Seemed like a typical villain of the week, some easy shit for Rook and him to wipe the floor with. He was dead wrong, of course.

That’s where he was now, at the museum; locking eyes with the leader of the Forever Knights (what was left of them) and feeling so, so impossibly small. If he could go back and do something different he might’ve rather crashed the prototruck than be here, now. It was already bad enough that his vision was blurring because he was holding his breath again, but Rook was here. He could see his blurry shape to the side of him, probably confused as to why he was frozen in place. He wasn’t supposed to know. They were supposed to be normal friends. It had been going so well.

“It’s been such a long time since I’ve seen my most informational experiment after it escaped, I almost couldn’t recognize its human disguise.” the knight said, not to Ben but to his followers. Ben tensed up bad at the way he talked, it’d been so long since he last heard himself talked about like that. Six years, six years had passed and here he was; frozen in place like the terrified kid he was when it first happened. He hated how they didn’t even address him. He hated himself for being so scared, for almost believing he could be normal. He hated how Rook was standing there, probably looking at him all concerned and wondering why his normally cocky and semi-reckless partner was acting like this.

His vision was going dark, he needed to breathe he needed to BREATHE-

He felt a hand on his shoulder and immediately shoved whoever it was as hard as he could away. The sudden action caused him to start breathing again, faster than usual but at least he was breathing. He blinked a couple times, his chest heaving and he realized he shoved Rook. He hadn’t expected the reaction and fell onto a glass casing, which was now broken. If he hadn’t had his protoarmor, if he had landed wrong-

The Knights took this opportunity to grab both him and Rook, using some strange device they had found to open up what looked to be a large steel box, and locked them inside. Ben scrambled to get to the door before it shut but to no avail. He was stuck here, he was too scared to do anything so now both him AND Rook were getting kidnapped and Ben didn’t know if he could do that again. He definitely couldn’t let Rook go through that. He should’ve done something, anything. His nails scraped the metal of the floor as his breathing quickened, his chest getting tight and his eyes burning.

“Ben? What is going on, what is wrong..?”

He tensed, shoulders going stiff as he watched Rook cautiously make his way over to where Ben was sitting. He was trying desperately not to make that stupid gasping noise you do when you hold back a sob. He couldn’t even respond to him, he couldn’t say anything because it was all happening over again.

He noticed Rook’s expression, it wasn’t fear like Ben’s was, it was confusion, and concern. Like he dreaded. It caused a pain in his chest, because he just wanted to be normal with him. He didn’t want Rook to have to see this ugly side of him. Before he knew it, he choked on a sob and then all the tears started to flow out of him like a river. He tried to bury his head between his knees, keeping his face out of sight. Rook would know why he had those perma-eyebags now. He would know everything and all his normal would be gone. Rook would hate him for lying, for pretending he could be just like how people saw him. The hero, Ben 10 who was brave and cocky and never backed down.

“...Ben, may I touch you? I do not want to scare you like last time.”

He lifted his head up a bit to respond, but no words came out. It was like they were all stuck in his throat, turning to air as soon as they were about to be spoken. He looked at Rook again, thinking about it. He nodded very slowly, lowering his head again. He wouldn’t hurt him. He wouldn’t.

Rook wrapped an arm around him, making Ben hold his breath for a second, but starting to breathe again shortly after. The touch was distracting him, making him focus on something else. Rook rested his head on Ben’s shoulder. His hair was soft, he could feel some of it. Slowly but surely he got used to his hold, his tense shoulders relaxing. His breathing was mostly normal except for the occasional hiccup, and he was still crying. He didn’t want to be different, he didn’t want their friendship to change. He just wanted to be his best friend, his normal alien fighting best friend.

“Are you feeling better?” Rook asked, barely a whisper. Ben nodded, faster this time. He did feel better than earlier, at least a little bit. Rook seemed content with this information, humming.

And then, Rook started to purr.

Ben barely noticed at first, it was so soft. But gradually it got stronger, and Ben’s eyes went wide. He didn’t know Rook could purr, he knew he was cat-like but this was full-on cat behavior. He looked at Rook, who looked at him back.

“Cat purrs provide many health benefits… one of which is to lower stress. Mine may not be exactly the same, but I thought it could help until you wish to talk.”

It did, it did help a lot. He still felt a nagging dread but it was easier to manage now. It wasn’t all consuming and trying to destroy him from the inside out anymore. He swallowed, opening his mouth to respond.

“...Thanks, partner…” his voice was scratchy from crying, and he could barely talk above a whisper. He was close enough to Rook where he didn’t have to, however. He breathed deeply, trying to calm himself more.

“Of course,” he said gently, sickeningly sweet and it did something to Ben that he really didn’t want to unpack now. “Does this count on our tally of me saving you?” Rook asked, lightheartedly.

Ben let out a short, raspy laugh, “you wish, Blonko.” He felt the other’s purr get slightly stronger at him saying his chosen name, and he smiled a bit. This was a good distraction.

They stayed like that for a while, probably 20 or so minutes before Rook spoke up again.

“Do you wish to talk about it now?”

Ben hesitated, it was… a lot to talk about. Especially while he was here in this… containment cell…? He wasn’t sure. He eventually nodded his head, deciding it was better to just get it over with.

“When I was young, like- a couple weeks after I had gotten the omnitrix… I busted it. I got turned into Grey Matter and couldn’t turn back. This… guy found me and kidnapped me, and for a while it was just some villain of the week type shit… until it wasn’t.” he paused for a second, taking a breath. “Grandpa Max and Gwen didn’t find me in time, I got sent to this castle-type place, run by the Forever Knights… they don’t like aliens. They uhm…” his breath hitched a bit, recounting what had happened, “they did a lot of… experimenting. I was there for a month before I escaped…”

He took a deep breath, finishing his recount of events. He didn’t tell Rook everything, but he didn’t need to, he got the gist. He didn’t need Rook to know about the dissections, the lobotomy thing, any of the details.

“I just… I didn’t want you to know. You were the first person I got close to who didn’t, and I really liked being normal friends with you. I didn’t want that to change because of my dumb issues…”

Rook squeezed him a bit, gently, “your issues are not ‘dumb’, nor will they change the way I view you. You are still my friend, and my partner.” he said simply.

Ben felt his eyes well up a bit, but grinned and wiped them away. He said it like it was obvious, and it had been. It had been obvious, Ben could just be a little dense. That was okay though, it was all okay right now.

“Thanks dude,” Ben said, lightly punching Rook’s chest affectionately, “wanna get out of here? I think these Knights are about to get a visit from my good friend Way Big.” he grinned widely, nerves still all shaken up, but he could deal with it now.

Rook smiled, “I thought you would never ask.”

[dreaming-for-an-escape]

Okay so here’s an Aurelia & Maegor drabble. 18+ only please. There is major dub-Con. It’s Maegor Targaryen...so...yeah. BE WARNED. 

Aurelia hated his smell, the way his coarse hands felt on her body, she hated everything about Maegor Targaryen. The hatred she felt for him was hidden now, for she learned what would happen if she made it known. She could still feel the phantom aches throughout her body when Maegor did his husbandly duty on their wedding night many months ago.

Since then he hadn’t been as violent with her but he wasn’t soft either, not really. A man like Maegor could never be like that, not even to Aurelia who was his favorite out of his wives…or so he would say. He had a funny way of showing favoritism.

The ruby gemstone necklace he’d so generously given her felt more like a collar. She wasn’t allowed to take it off, which had been an order from him. He always wanted her to have it on, especially when he took her to bed. Tonight would be no different.

Her cruel husband wasn’t even supposed to visit her tonight. It was Tyanna’s turn to entertain Maegor but during dinner he made a brisk announcement that he would be visiting Aurelia instead.

Aurelia hadn’t missed the way Tyanna’s face twisted, the hold on her goblet tightening so much she was surprised it hadn’t cracked. Everyone noticed her anger, aside from Maegor who instead had his hungry eyes on Aurelia.

That same look in his violet eyes was there when he barged into her chambers. He said nothing to her as he practically threw her onto the bed, turning her so that her hips were up and her face rested on the pillows. She heard him take off his clothing before he ripped apart her dress.

Then without properly preparing her, Maegor shoved himself inside her. Aurelia’s scream was a silent one, and the few tears that did escape her were absorbed by the pillows. It seemed tonight her husband was too eager to get inside her, as shown by his uneven and speedy thrusts that were being guided by his large hands on her hips. 

Thankfully for Aurelia it only lasted as long as counting to forty in her head. Foolishly she thought that was it but to her horror he turned her back around to face him. She much preferred when he took her from behind, at least that way she wouldn't have to see his face.

“Say you love me.” Maegor growled, staring down at her with his violet eyes. He eyed the ruby gemstone that lay above her breasts before looking into her eyes. Unfortunately for her, he didn't give her time to answer and he started thrusting inside her. His hands pinned her own above her head, making her feel more defenseless. His thrusts were fast, deep, and overall brutal. Though it was nothing like her wedding night it still pained her.

Aurelia held back tears as she gave him a smile she perfected over the months since marrying him. “I love you.” She falsely declared. It was convincing enough because he was then smashing his lips to her own, biting her lower lip until it bled. She told herself a bloody lip was better than him choking or slapping her.

Aurelia looked up at the canopy while Maegor continued rutting into her. His groans made her want to frown but she fought to keep the smile in place. There wasn’t much else she could do but hope he’d finish soon and that he wouldn’t want to bed her a third time tonight. She was already sore, and although his seed hadn’t taken root in her yet after all these months she still didn’t want to risk it.

Maegor was desperate for an heir, but Aurelia didn’t want to be the one to bring an innocent child into this mess. However if she did end up pregnant she’d do more than give fake smiles and falsely declare her love for Maegor. She’d leave this hell of a place. Somehow Aurelia would leave because no child should grow up knowing Maegor as their father.

Aurelia kept thinking this even after Maegor finally spilled his heavy load inside her. 

[tielesiti-eftu]

hey so remember when I posted a while back about stealing a character design from AI slop

this is Celia Whiterose and the art was somehow one of the last things I made in the process of making her. in between making the art, I wrote a fuckload of lore and character info. gonna paste a bunch of it under the cut

✨~haiiiiiii~✨

okay so. the lore I'm working with right now is that Celia used to be the Proper Actual Queen of Hearts in her Wonderland. aesthetics-wise for that Wonderland, I'm picturing a vibe like a mix of the Disney movie and the Tim Burton movie because Lol™. this Wonderland exists alongside a so-called "real" world, otherwise known as Fantasy Earth, and humans aren't able to see an entrance to Wonderland unless someone from Wonderland goes through it. the only Wonderland citizens that are able to go between the worlds freely are the royal family and anyone with one of their pocket watches. Celia, being The Queen, qualifies for that. she ran away into the real world after a mass breakout of a curse-disease-thing called "Unreality Madness," believing it would be the only way to be safe from it and potentially find a solution. she disguised herself (mostly by shrinking herself down to not be ridiculously tall) and left for the real world, where she lived for a long time. she tried to tell people about what happened, hoping for a solution, but people don't tend to believe that a parallel world exists that they can theoretically go to when they can't even see the entrances freely, and Celia was afraid to go back for fear of being (probably rightfully) called out for running away, so she just Didn't. she has depression because of it. her belief is that if she can get close enough with someone in the real world, maybe they'll believe her and she can try to fix the mess she left behind. unfortunately, a continuous streak of bad luck and cosmic joke coincidences routinely keeps that from happening.

some specifics on Unreality Madness: it's something that makes Wonderland citizens effectively disappear, dubbed "becoming not real," after going through extreme mood changes. stage 1 is always severe mania, and stage 2 varies between individual cases, but it's always able to be boiled down to experiencing one emotion at extreme levels, and different subsets have different titles (sadness would be Bawling Madness, depression would be Muted Madness, anger would be Fuming Madness, etc). the only thing that isn't a possible result is more mania. stage 3 is more or less a toned-down version of the person's normal self, but this is the point where they start to believe they may not be real, and this feeling gets worse as the stage progresses. if someone in stage 3 is fully convinced they aren't real anymore, they go into stage 4, which sees them actually becoming not real; this can be postponed by generally being around other people that believe they're real, but the funny thing about believing you aren't real is that you start believing others aren't real either, so if a large group of Wonderland residents came down with stage 4 Unreality Madness, then things tend to get a bit less exist-y pretty fast. once a person with Unreality Madness has been in stage 4 for long enough to also believe nobody else is real around them, and nobody around them believes they're real either, they vanish. technically, stages 3 and 4 can last indefinitely if at least one person without Unreality Madness regularly interacts with them.

personality-wise, Celia is very muted after everything that's happened to her. she's also very particular about time; if you agree to meet her for something, and you don't show up, she's going to find out why. she has a seemingly endless supply of pocket watches, which she uses as mementos to give to people that she considers friends. the watches themselves have some other properties; particularly, if you break one, you can temporarily project yourself back in time as a ghost, so you can see what happened but not affect things. Celia specifically is also able to break these with her bare hand, then jam that hand against a corpse to resurrect the person as something from Wonderland. she also has various props and treats from Wonderland; cookies that make you grow, small drink bottles that shrink you, paints that can alter the natural color of plants or animals, pipes with smoke that forms into letters, and so on. Celia can also create normal versions of any of these items without any effects, with a notable exception being her checkerboard cookies; unlike the frosted lofthouse cookies she can make, the checkerboard cookies are always just normal cookies.

the bracelets she wears are made of metal, and are able to transform into gauntlets similar to brass knuckles. Celia doesn't normally have to use them, hence why they turn into bracelets when they aren't deployed. these bracelet-gauntlets cannot be removed, as they are also her royal scepter, an heirloom passed down to the next-in-line when the acting ruler of Wonderland is unfit to rule anymore. it ordinarily isn't supposed to be altered in any way, but due to the current circumstances in Wonderland, Celia is giving herself some leeway. so long as it doesn't leave her side, it's fine in her book.

around people she feels safe around and truly cares about, Celia may remove her disguise and re-enter her normal form, a completely on-demand transformation that Celia performs when she feels like she has nothing to hide from. Queen of Hearts Celia is four times larger than her disguise and sports a different outfit, as well as her having a generally more cheerful default mood. her fur becomes pure white, her eyes change shape somewhat, the colors of her eyes shift around, the somewhat muted blues of her dress have shifted to vibrant reds and blacks, her dress has grown larger and now goes down to her ankles, her socks have changed to be red-and-black stripes with a black sole and red pawpads, her scepter regains its normal form, and the lofthouse cookies she produces have changed shape to appear like card suits (the checkerboard cookies remain unchanged). she now walks with a much more pronounced bounce on every step, and one can often see the latest winner of this royal rabbit's trust peeking from the front pocket of her dress. Queen of Hearts Celia has more control over the world around her, with enhanced time control by using her scepter that allows her to physically go forward and backwards in time temporarily, along with now being able to shape and transform it to mirror her Wonderland as she desires. this world-altering ability, which she calls "Wonderland Shift," is similar in execution to resurrecting someone as a Wonderland creature, but it now extends to non-sentient objects around her and even living people as opposed to only the recently-passed. Queen of Hearts Celia is also physically unable to harm things or people without intent; any building or infrastructure damaged by mistake is repaired by it automatically going backwards in time, passerby who fail to notice her approach and become trampled rise moments later without even a bruise, and so on. on the flipside, she is much more wrathful if upset, leaping into the air and growing thorny rose vines from the ground to ensnare and choke people that make her angry, sometimes even beheading them if she deems the transgression worthy of death. often, she reverts to her disguised form after the anger fades into apathy, and it tends to take some time for her to be able to return to her Queen of Hearts form.

[nangbaby]

So I finally watched the English dubbed version of the Season Finale. Even though I had seen some of the spoilers, I didn't see the actual episode, and there was a lot that I didn't know that I now do. So I have some thoughts.

If some of you are wondering how I did this, your cable provider might have a VOD service which unlocked the episode at midnight, March 12, 2022, or for those in later time zones.

So, yeah, MAJOR SPOILERS. You have been warned.

First and foremost, the title itself is a minor spoiler. It was stylized as "Strike Back" but the title card of this episode is "Strikeback" as in one word. That alone took me back.

This episode starts off with about a minute of footage or so from the previous episode to segue into new events. I understand why they did this. It was done in the other two-parter finales and the episode flows better like this, but there is a big problem. This eats up about a minute of precious airtime. As one watches later, this episode has some pacing issues, and some developments are completely rushed.

That mini-spat between Ladybug and Cat Noir was nice. One of the best moments was when Cat Noir told Ladybug that he's never been akumatized, only for Ladybug to flash back to Cat Blanc...it's a season later and they are still milking the drama out of this. I like this.

That said, it was super-lazy for Ladybug to be able to find the heroes that she found with no explanation as to why she only found so many. I'd gather Kim and Max were unavailable because they would explicitly be swimming on the Seine, but where's Luka? Where's Rose? Where's Nathaniel? I get they couldn't include Luka because affected by Risk, he would have revealed their identities to each other, but the heroes she did choose were seemingly random, to the point where Minotaurox didn't really do much of anything...so why was he there?

Breaking this up because there's now apparently a text limit on "blocks" of text.

Anyway, then came the fight against Strikeback which has been spoiled on social media. Unfortunately, those clips are largely what the fight was. Basically, if one saw any of the teasers, you saw nearly all the action those clips that were in the actual episodes.

It's funny that even after Rena Furtive outed as being active, that she still got it together enough to give Ladybug and the team the vital intelligence that everyone had been compromised. They wouldn't have saved the day if it weren't for Rena Furtive, which makes the later events all the more heartbreaking.

So when Lady Pegabunny went to see "Adrien" it's interesting that Ladybug didn't mention anything about the last time she gave him a Miraculous. It would have been nice if there had been a callback there, and that Ladybug ignoring that Felix doesn't seem to know about that would have been a telltale sign that she was letting her emotions blind her.

Felix's "hero" name is Flairmidible or something? They said it several times, but I did not catch it. At least it wasn't "Chien Orange."

That said, her plan to go back to the past to find the akumatized object, then to find it in the present day is an extremely smart one, and the best part of the episode by far.

The plan to defeat Strikeback is largely offscreen. I'm guessing the sunglasses are to block out the light from the portal opened to the sun. While it's great they showed it from hero-Felix's point of view, this is an action scene that could have benefited from being fleshed out but seemed to be cut due to time restraints.

Also, if Rooster Bold could choose his power, then why didn't he choose the power to instantly defeat Strike Back, or to take control of the, or to magically cause the Butterfly and Peacock Miraculouses to appear in his hands, or anything with Sublimation that would more directly end the conflict?

Interesting that Lila sees that Nathalie is sick. I do like the detail of Nathalie telling Gabriel that "Adrien" is missing when not only is the poser in his office, but ironically enough Adrien himself is upstairs.

And for the final part...

Alya does the right thing at the wrong time. Ladybug, your initial decision was right. It's better to let Rena keep the Miraculous, even if it makes her a target.

So, Felix. you really wanted to do things the hard way. Wouldn't it make more sense just to get the Miraculouses yourself, then with the power take? Why go through a Herschel Walker-esque Cowboys/Vikings trade?

Something that really bugs my about this episode is why both Adrien and Ladybug would both assume that Felix was working with Shadow Moth? Yes, he did try to bargain with Hawk Moth in his first visit, but he didn't do it the second time around, and he gave no indication he was there to do anything but "help" Adrien. This point just really seemed off.

Then there is this horribly long shot of Ladybug being frozen in shock and fear. I get why it's long -- not only does it emphasize the tension, but it also gives Gabriel enough time to grab all of the Miraculouses. That said, this takes up precious seconds of airtime.

I really would have liked it if Gabriel had not gotten all of the Miraculouses aside from the main duo's but only got some of them. He has literal control over time and space, as well as an infinite reset button. There is no reason why he should lose.

Then again, his first act upon acquiring the Miraculouses is to decide to let the entirety of Paris know he has the Miraculouses. Hawk Moth is a dummy, a fool, and a knucklehead. If you have that many Miraculouses, you don't need to even akumatize people. You can use your powers infinite times because you're an adult! ARE YOU FLIPPING DENSE?

Meanwhile Ladybug gives the breakdown and the apologies a lot of fans have been waiting for, but this is all in the last minute of airtime. There's no time for Cat Noir or the audience to digest.

In the end, I'm not sure if I like the overall conclusion, largely because Ladybug and the other heroes were under the spell of a supervillain, which really robbed the mistake of its power. Yes, Ladybug is responsible for her actions and her decisions...but everything that went wrong still would have gone wrong if she had trusted Cat Noir, and she definitely couldn't because they were both under a spell. There's a very strong case for diminished capacity.

[jenoptimist]

you may have only gotten half a pudding cup but you got yourself a real life Disney Prince, so who’s the real winner?

✮ Pairing: kunhang x reader (gender neutral)

✮ Genre: fluff

✮ Word count: 5.8k

♡ Yakult says: hendery!!!!in!!glasses!!!!!!! pls i love him sm 🥲

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There was a phone number in you calculus textbook that you were one hundred percent sure you never wrote down. Not that you could, anyway, considering that it was a library book. Well, no, techincally you could write it in but you wouldn’t dare. The longer you stared at the handful of digits, the more you freaked out. You absolutely could not afford to be fined! The whole reason why you borrowed it from your college library was so that you didn’t have to spend money in the first place!

After gathering your materials and stuffing them into your bag, you hurriedly left your local library. You fished your phone out of your pocket, scrolled through your – admittedly pathetically short – list of contacts and called the person who you suspected wad the source of your small dilemma.

“‘Sup?” Yangyang greeted.

“Be honest with me,” you said seriously, immediately cutting to the chase, “were you the one who wrote the number?”

There was a beat of silence, and then, “what number?”

“You know,” you urged as you neared the apartment complex that the two of you lived in. “The one in my calculus textbook? I borrowed it from the college library and I don’t want to get into shit if they find it.”

“That wasn’t me!”

“Oh really?” You asked in disbelief as you hopped into the elevator and punched the number to your floor. After what you dubbed as, ‘The Spaghetti Incident of 2018’ you could never be too sure with him. When he replied that he didn’t, you asked him another two times. Throughout your friendship with Yangyang, you found that the trick to getting him to admit the truth was to keep badgering him until he either: got fed up or thought that whatever he did was no longer funny.

“I swear on my Hot Wheels!”

You hummed in consideration. His Hot Wheels collection was his utmost pride and joy - second only to his large sneaker collection - especially since he owned a handful of exclusive and rare ones. They were all displayed neatly on several shelves on one of the walls in his bedroom. They were even color coordinated and everything! Sometimes, when you went to offer him some food, you found him staring at them with a wide smile, his eyes full of admiration.

“Oh,” you frowned as you grabbed your keys from your jacket pocket but before you could slot your key into the lock, the door opened. Yangyang, the dork, greeted you over the phone even though he stood in front of you, a boyish grin displayed on his face. You rolled your eyes, not able to smother your smile as you hung up and stepped inside, locking the door behind you. It was noticeably warmer than usual and the apartment smelled if something toasty, which only meant one thing. “Pizza?” You guessed confidently.

Just as he gave you an affirmative, the oven began beeping to signal that it was finished. As Yangyang brought everything to the coffee table in front of your couch, you slipped off your shoes, dropped your bag and shrugged your coat off. While he cut the pizzas into almost even slices, you grabbed two cans of soda from the fridge.

Although it was still piping hot, you couldn’t help but take big bites. Your slice of doughy goodness was diminished within seconds. Solving calculus problems did thay to you. It was your least favorite module of the semester and brought on a headache whenever you left your lectures.

“This is so good.” You remarked as you took another slice. You loved a good margherita from Dominos but there was nothing like a frozen pizza from your local supermarket—the additives was probably what made it delicious, the cheap price just happened to be a bonus. Yangyang definitely felt the same, seeing as how the two of you devoured both pizzas within minuts, silence taking over the room.

You took a sip of your soda after popping open the top. “I”–you didn’t like the mischief that danced in uour room-mate’s eyes–“dare you to call the number.”

In your haste to swallow it, the soda passed through your throat uncomfortably, as if it were a large stone. “Nuh-uh.” You said with a shake of your head. There was absolutely no way you were going to call that number! You were just going to forget that it was even there. Or maybe you would return the book and hope that the next unfortunate student who will borrow it would be the one to pay whatever fine they had for ‘defacing public property’, as the college liked to call it. You didn’t know how many people had a calculus module in their course but you sure hoped that it was a large number.

“Awh come on, y/n!” At the firm shake of your head, he folded his arms and pouted slightly. A moment of silence passed and then, “I’ll give you a twenty.”

You took another sip of your soda as you mulled it over. “How about a ten and your last mango pudding cup for a text?”

Yangyang sucked a breath through his teeth. “That’s a tough bargain.” You shrugged, he hogged the other five pudding cups for himself so if he really wanted you to call this mystery person, he would have to give up the remaining one. “Okay, what if I give you fifteen and we split the pudding cup.”

“Better than nothing.” You conceeded after a second of thinking it over.

Yangyang’s grin stretched from ear to ear as he held out his hand for you to take. Once you shook it, the two of you quickly cleaned up. Not even ten minutes later, the last pudding cup and two spoons were on the table along with the textbook, opened on the page with the number on it. Yangyang leaned closer to your shoulder, his head practically resting on top of yours as he watched you type in the number and text.

to: 13X XXXX XXXX

hey! i found ur number on a textbook i borrowed from the library so i thought i’d say hi i guess?

“Now we wait.” Yangyang said as he returned to his seat and opened the pudding cup. He handed you your spoon and the two of you dug in, eventually fighting for the last bit.

The reply came when you and Yangyang were watching Into The Spiderverse. Neither of you paused the movie when you heard the notification sound your phone let out—you had seen it countless times; twice when it was in cinemas and every so often whenever it was on Netflix.

You were slightly nervous about the reply, which was silly considering that you didn’t even know the person, but you opened up the text anyway so that it would be over and done with.

from: 13X XXXX XXXX

Hi. My friend just told me he wrote it in there before I transferred. I’d be grateful if you could rub it out or use correction tape to get rid of it. Also, please delete my number.

You pursed your mouth at the response. It wasn’t as if you were hoping to be best friends or anything but the prospect of befriending someone had definitely excited you. You had college friends but that was liferally what they were: friends who you only saw in college. None of them hung out with you outside of college and whenever you did offer, they would either say yes to humour you – which, unfortunately, was blatantly obvious – or came up with an excuse. Which sucked, for obvious reasons but you would survive. The only people you had actually managed to successfully befriend were Yangyang (because he was looking for a room-mate at the time) and his best friend, Dejun.

“Uh-oh,” came Yangyang’s voice. “What did they say?” He was quick to read the text after you turned your phone to show him the screen. “Whoever it is, they’re very, um,” he paused for a moment while he thought of a fitting description, scratching his head, “grammatically correct?” At your nod of agreement, he added, “at least he said ‘please’.”

You shrugged as you typed a quick reply. “I guess.”

to: 13X XXXX XXXX

sure thing

from: 13X XXXX XXXX

Thank you.

The two of you refocused your attention to the movie, the texts completely forgotten once you received his reply. Later that night, you did as you were requested and used correction tape to hide the number—which was written in neat, tiny green ink. You were aware that covering the numbers in correction tape would also be considered as ‘defacing public property’ too, but it was for the sake of the stranger’s privacy. It seemed as though you were the fiest to contact the number but, still, if you were in their position, you wouldn’t like your number to be in public property either.

As for the text, you took a screenshot of it for Yangyang, who asked for it so that he could show Dejun while he typed away in your groupchat, and then erased the number from your phone.

*

Two weeks later, you found yourself sitting at the study desk in your room, staring helplessly at the blank answer boxes of the calculus assignment you had been told to complete and submit before the end of next week. You wanted to cry in frustration as you redirected your gaze down to your notebook where you had been trying to solve the equations. The entire page was a mess and your desk was coverd with eraser bits. It had gotten to the point where some parts of the page had gone grainy, like it always did when you repeatedly erased something on the same area. There wasn’t a single problem that you managed solve—no matter how hard you tried. It was pathetic, really.

With a sigh, you decided to take the break that you had put off, not wanting to take one until you solved a problem (ha!) as a reward. Maybe you would rewatch the entire Twilight saga again (Dejun had managed to convince you to read the series a couple of months back and the movies had become something like a guilty pleasure of yours,) because it was clear that you were going absolutely nowhere.

Just as you had started Eclipse, you heard the door open but didn’t bother moving from your spot. In fact, you hadn’t moved since you started your movie marathon a few hours ago because you were all too comfortable buried inside your fluffy blanket on the couch.

“Perfect timing!” Dejun’s rich voice bellowed, “it just started.” There was the sound of socked feet running towards the couch and then he lifted your legs, sat down and laid them down on top of his lap.

“Hey Dejun.” You greeted, raising your hand for a high five.

When he slapped his palm against yours, he asked, “how’re you doing?”

Just as you opened your mouth to answer, Yangyang spoke up. “Judging from the Twilight marathon that’s going on,” there was a hissing sound of a can opening and the audible sound of him taking a quick sip of whatever canned beverage he was holding, “not very good.”

“Hey!” You exclaimed but your your friend only shrugged, smiling amusedly. “He’s right though,” you grumbled, “I’m really struggling with calculus at the moment.” Struggling was an understatement. You really wanted to pass it because you definitely didn’t want to repeat the exam. That would be a nightmare.

Dejun looked at you sympathetically before he made an affronted noise in his throat, one that you felt deeply in your soul as he turned to face Yangyang. “The Twilight saga is a cinematic masterpiece and you absolutely cannot change my mind.”

“Okay,” the blond replied, clearly up for the challenge. “But it’s not better than Shrek now, is it?”

“Shrek?” Dejun repeated incredulously. “Shrek is an iconic classic but the Twilight saga? Definitely on a different wavelength. The scene in New Moon where Bella just sits on her chair looking out the window soullessly? Perfection! It was a fantastic book to movie adaptation. And don’t even get me started on—”

“As thrilling as your debate is becoming,” you said, interrupting the point that the brunet was about to make, “I’d really love to continue the movie so I can hear young BooBoo Stewart say, ‘newest, bestest, brightest’ to help me feel a crumb of joy.” You were unable to find it in yourself to feel guilty about cutting in. They could take their debate somewhere else while you continued to wallow in your feelings of failure.

The pair read your mood easily and shrugged at one another in concession. Dejun patted your leg lightly in comfort as Yangyang jumped on the couch to sit on your other side, giving you a quick side-hug before focusing on the movie. It was silent up until Rosalie finished telling Bella her the story about her past.

“I’ve been thinking,” Dejun spoke up.

“Uh-oh.” Yangyang muttered playfully to you, his voice purposefully loud. You huffed out a laugh before lightly digging your elbow into his side, knowing that he’s had an awful share of ideas in the past.

Dejun stuck his tongue out at him but continued with what he began saying instead of retaliating. “Why don’t you text that person? The one whose number was in the textbook you borrowed? They must have done the module or something.”

You considered what he said seriously, even pausing the movie so that you could discuss it with him. “What if they didn’t though? What if it was their friend who borrowed the textbook? They did say that it was their friend who wrote it there.”

“Then you could just ask their friend for help.” Yangyang piped up. It was a statement that you couldn’t counter but that didn’t mean that you wouldn’t try to.

“I don’t have their number anymore,” you said to them. “They asked me to delete it, remember?”

“And that’s where you’re wrong,” Dejun told you as he reached into one of the pockets of his jeans and fished out his phone. Yangyang leaned over slightly and the two of you watched as Dejun quickly swiped his finger up his phone. “Here you go!” He said brightly, turning his phone so that you were facing the screen. And there it was: the screenshot that Yangyang asked you to take so that he could send it to Dejun. There was no way you could weasel your way out of this situation now.

“Okay,” you relented, “I’ll text them after we finish this saga.”

“If you text them after this movie, I’ll pay for take-out.” Yangyang bribed, eager for this idea to take place.

You weighed out the pros and cons briefly before agreeing with him. It would be a win-win situation: you would get take-out and a possible tutor. It seemed as if time moved quicker because the movie felt as though it finished within a few minutes. As Yangyang dialed the number for a local take-out place, you slowly typed out a text, him and Dejun watching you with hawk eyes.

to: 13X XXXX XXXX

hi! it’s me again. i know you don’t know me but could you please help me with calc? or your friend, whoever borrowed the textbook. please. i feel like my brain is melting

You flung your phone on the table, laid back down on the sofa and released a long sigh. It would be a lie if you said that you weren’t hoping that they would say yes. You were trying your best but it was as if your brain refused to coorperate with you when it came to calculus. If only Yangyang or Dejun were enrolled in the same course as you. It was often that you thoughr that wistfully, especially during times such as this.

It was when you were about to shove a huge lump of lo mein into your mouth that your phone lit up, indicating that you received a notification. You stuffed the noodles into your mouth and grabbed your phone off of the table, dropping your wooden chopsticks into the rest of your dish.

“What did they say?” Dejun asked as he bit into an egg roll.

“Depends,” you read out. “Would I get paid for it?” You practically exclaimed the last part. It was fair that they were wondering about payment after all, who would want to tutor for free? The thought of the amount in your bank account had you cringing, you couldn’t afford to pay for a tutor at the minute. Although, you couldn’t afford to fail your module, either. So it was a lose-lose sotuation. You sighed before shoving another chopstick full of noodles into your mouth as you thought of a reply, eyes never leaving your screen. “How can I say, ‘no I cant’t but I really need your help’ without sounding desperate?”

“You can’t.” Yangyang replied matter-of-factly, chewing on his mapo tofu.

to: 13X XXXX XXXX

no but u’d have my gratitude forever???????

from: 13X XXXX XXXX

Oh.

[typing. . .]

I’ll have to think about it.

[typing. . .]

Just kidding! I’ll help you out, free of charge. Would you like to do it over the phone or meet IRL?

You cheered loudly when their last text delivered. “I’m guessing they said yes?” Dejun said, smirking smugly. You nodded, grinning widely as your fingers flew on the keyboard in your phone.

to: 13X XXXX XXXX

omg ur a lifesaver!!!!! maybe over the phone?? it’ll probably be more convenient foe the both of us :)

from: 13X XXXX XXXX

Gotcha. We can discuss our schedule sometime tomorrow.

*

Your tutor, Wong Kunhang, was surprisingly really helpful. He was much more friendly than you thought he would be, immediately introducing himself after greeting you over the phone. For the entire three hours that the two of you were on the phone, he was nothing but the epitome of patience. Not only that, but he explained everything in a way that you could easily understand and even cracked a lame joke or two to break the tension whenever he noticed that you were becoming incredibly frustrated. By the end of the session, you felt microscopically better about calculus. While you couldn’t say that you were especially ecstatic for the upcoming lectures and assignments, it was safe to say that, while you had a long way to go, things were sort of looking up.

from: Wong Kunhang (tutor)

Same time next week?

to: Wong Kunhang (tutor)

definitely!!

[typing. . .]

also if ur comfortable with it can we pls video chat instead?? i think it would be much quicker than us sending each other pictures back and forth

from: Wong Kunhang (tutor)

That’s a good idea! I can’t believe we didn’t think of it earlier ahahaha.

*

As you worked through the practice problems that Kunhang prepared for you, you couldn’t help but sneakily stare at your phone to catch a glimpse of him repeatedly. It sure came as a surprise when it came time for the video call and you found yourself face to face with a Disney Prince who came to life. There was no other way to sum up how handsome he was. He somewhat reminded you of Prince Eric—what with his black hair, wide, bright eyes and kind smile. It wasn’t as if you thought or expected that he would he unnattractive. In fact, you hadn’t really wondered about what he would look like at all since you had a long list of priorities. None of which included thinking about whether or not you would find your tutor attractive.

But still. Kunhang was definitely one of those people who were blessed with beauty and brains. One of the Universe’s favorites, if you will.

“You good? Are you stuck on something?” You started at Kunhang’s voice, eyes flying from your phone to your page and back to meet his expectant look. You murmured a negative and resolutely kept your gaze on your work for the next half an hour to avoid a repeat of what had just jappened.

*

After nearly two months, the tutoring session had become a bi-weekly thing. Sort of. Somewhere in between you whining about every question but toughing it out and him encouraging you while also lightly teasing you, you and Kunhang became friends. One of the two sessions somehow always ended up with the both of you chatting, completely abandoning the unsolved equations in favor of getting to know one another, or, mostly recently, switching back and forth between the show that the two of you suggested to one another.

This week you would be tuning into his suggestion, Love Death + Robots. Kunhang would talk every now and again during some parts, especially when it came to his favorites, but you found that you didn’t really mind. Not when he sounded so (adorably) excited about it. The series itself was pretty good so far albeit short – six episodes in total, and the two of you were already on the fourth one – which meant that the you that you recommended (The Office because you were astounded that he hadn’t watched at least one episode) would soon become the primary source of entertainment since the two of you were only on season three.

As you stood in the snacks aisle, internally debating one which type of popcorn you should purchase (salted or buttered? the microwaveable kind or loose kernels? also, which brand? there were so many options, maybe too many,) your phone vibrated in your pocket. Swapping your basket from your non-dominant hand to your dominant one, you pulled out your phone and answered it.

“Hello?”

“Hey!” Kunhang greeted back brightly, “uh, so listen, I know we have our thing later but one of my sisters is moving out of her apartment and she asked me to help. Is it okay if we cancel?” The poor guy sounded super apologetic.

“Yeah, totally! Help her out!”–briefly, you thought about offering your assistance before deciding against it because that would be awkward and weird. Weirdly awkward. Awkwardly weird. Whatever–“I mean, it’s not like what we do is a set thing, anyway. I’ll probably ask the guys to hang out instead.” You eyed your basket full of snacks and made a mental note to grab the particular brand of potato chips that Dejun liked, already predicting that he would agree.

The silence that followed seemed to stretch on for hours on end. You would have assumed that the line dropped or went dead for some reason but you could definitely hear some shuffling sounds on the other side and, in a totally non-creepy way, Kunhang’s breathing.

“Right,” he finally replied, drawling the word out. There was another silence that felt extremely awkward. You wondered what facial expression he was making at the moment. It could have possibly clued you into what he as thinking. “Well that’s all I wanted to say I guess.”

“Oh,” you mumbled and then after a beat, you followed up with, “do you prefer salted or buttered popcorn? I’m trying to choose right now but I can’t decide.”

“Definitely salted. Buttered always leaves my mouth feeling weird.” You hummed while trapping you phone in between your ear and shoulder so that you could grab the generic box brand of microwaveable salted popcorn. The conversation carred on without anymore awkward pauses. You picked up a couple of items that he recommended every now and again, trusting his judgement. “Hey, you know what we should do?” Kunhang said as you queued up for the self-service checkout line, eyeing the items on display. When you hummed in response, he followed with, “we should hang out next week. In real life. We could do it on Sunday so you’ll still have one day of tutoring.”

It felt somewhat embarrassing that you agreed so quickly to his suggestion. You definitely should have played it cool but you had been meaning to ask him the same thing for a while now, so you were glad that he suggested it. “We can meet up at a café or something! Maybe have lunch? I’m paying, though!” It was only fair since he was helping you out for free.

“Lunch sounds good.”

“Great!”

“Great!” Kunhang mimicked, just as enthusiastically. “I’ve got to go but I’ll text you later?”

Both of you said your goodbyes then hung up. After tucking your phone back into your pocket, you made your way to the till that just freed up and began scanning your items. Once everything was paid for and bagged, you retrieved your phone to shoot a quick text in the group chat with Yangyang and Dejun, asking them if they felt like watching a movie franchise with you. They agreed, but only after Yangyang asked if ‘you’re weekly date with Kunhang got cancelled’ which earned him a picture of you flipping him off.

*

“Today’s the big date, huh?” Yangyang asked teasingly as you checked your appearance in the mirror once more, sprawled out on the couch as he made his way through his third mango pudding cup. From beside him, Dejun and Yukhei – the newest addition to your friend group since he and Dejun had to do an assignment together – gave your form an assessing once over.

Dejun, smiling mischievously, said, “obviously, can’t you tell by how nicely they’re dressed.”

You mock glared at the pair while Yukhei lightly slapped Dejun for his comment. Then he, bless his heart, beamed at you and said, “you look great!”

“Thank you,” you replied, smiling sweeting at him before addressing the other two, you firmly said, “and it’s not a date. We’re just hanging out, like the three, now four”–you corrected, glancing over at Yukhei–“of us do on a regular basis.”

“Oh, are they just a friend from your course then or something?” Yukhei asked curiously while Dejun and Yangyang hummed in unison, disbelief clear in their tones.

“No, it’s this guy, he helps me out with calculus. We’ve never met in person but he’s really nice.”

“I should hope so,” muttered Yangyang, peeling the seal off another mango pudding cup. “You’ve been crushing on him for a while now, so it would be a bummer if he wasn’t.” He said through a mouthful.

“Am not!”

“Are too!” Dejun countered for him.

“Am not,” Yangyang mimicked. “So what about all the times you’ve mentioned him then, huh?” And then he placed his pudding cup on the table, clasped his hands together by his cheeks and, in a voice that was meant to sound like yours, said, “‘oh, Kunhang told me this stuff is really good, we should try it out!’, ‘Kunhang is so smart!’, ‘can you believe Kunhang volunteers at the animal shelter and the nursery home as much as he can? Isn’t that so sweet?’, ‘Kunhang has such a Disney Prince smile!’. You gush about him all the time, it’s kinda sickening.”

You threw your arm out at him as you looked towards Dejun, hoping for some back up but you should have known better. They were your best friends after all. Dejun simply shrugged as he snatched a pudding cup from the coffee table and said, “to be fair, you do gush about him a lot. And! Whenever you text him, which most of the time, you get this goofy smile one your face.”

“Huh,” Yukhei mumbled, his tone full of thought. “This guy sounds a lot like one of my buddies.” The three of you looked at him with wide, curious eyes. When he noticed, he added, “it’s probably just a coincidence?” Although his tone suggested otherwise.

“Probably,” you replied as you grabbed your keys and shoved them in your pocket. “I’ve gotta get going or else I’ll be late.” You said as you made a beeline towards the door and slipped on the shoes you thought best suited your outfit. “Don’t wait up!”

“Why?” Yangyang replied just as you were about to close the door, playfulness evident in his voice, “I thought it was just lunch.” The other two cackled at that but you flipped him off and left the apartment, trusting that one of them would like the door behind you.

It was fortunate that you managed to catch the bus on time. After paying the appropriats fare, you made your way towards the back, earphones plugged in so that you could listen to some music along the way. Once seated, you took out your phone sent a text to Kunhang to let him know that you were on your way. His response was immediate, informing you that he was already nearby because his sister had asked him to run an errand for her, and asked you to text him when you were close.

Horizon was a cute little place that served as both a café and restaurant. It was sandwiched between a thrift shop and music store but, surprisingly, didn’t look the least bit out of place among the buildings. As you walked closed to it, you saw Kunhang standing by the entrance, bopping his head as he used his phone.

“Kunhang!” You called when you were close enough, after taking off your earphones and stuffing them into your pocket. Judging from the way he jolted slightly, you startled him. “Hey,” you greeted warmly when he removed his earphones. “You could have waited inside.”

Kunhang shrugged, a brilliant smile etched onto his face, “I thought it’d be easier if we walked in together.”

When you entered, you thought that you would have to find somewhere else to eat due to the amount of people present, but the staff who was waiting by the door only asked if you were eating in and then lead you to a table in the far corner of the room, right beside the window.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, y’know, in person.” Kunhang said as he browsed through the menu.

“You too,” you replied, peeking up from your own menu to find him wearing a hint of a smile. “I can’t believe it took us this long to be honest.”

Kunhang chuckled at that and nodded in agreement.

The meal seemed to fly by even though you left Horizon a little later than expected. You were still laughing as you headed out, thanking the waiter that served you one more time as you passed by him, at a story that Kunhang recounted that took place during his childhood. Although his texting style suggested otherwise, Kunhang was hilarious—which you knew already since he often made you laugh whenever you were on the phone with him, it was just a different feeling compared to the experience in person. You were almost sad at the thought of your time being over with him, until he jammed his hands into his pockets and, rocking back and forth on his herl, asked if you wanted to go get some ice cream since he knew a really good place nearby. And who were you to say no to that offer?

After fighting, again, over who would pay, the two of you roamed around for a bit, slipping into this store and that to window shop. Only when the stores began to close did you realize how late it had gotten. It wasn’t dark out, not yet, and you were surprised that several hours had passed since you first met up with Kunhang.

“Ready to call it quits?” You asked as the two of you began to make your way to where you would wait for your bus.

Kunhang shook his head and pointed somewhere behind you. “Let’s go to the playground over there. Race you.” And with that, he took off, leaving you to stare at him dumbfoundedly until your brain registered what he said and you ran after him.

“Cheater!” You huffed when you reached him, hands on your knees as you caught your breath.

Kunhang did nothing but through his head back and laugh at you. Attractively. It was something to ignore—his attractiveness, that was. But it was awfully difficult and all you could do was hope that he didn’t notice how you were looking at him. You couldn’t help it! Even though his outfit was relatively basic – just some gray-brown sweatshirt, black joggers and a pair of white sneakers – he looked effortlessly good. And it wasn’t just his appearance that made him attractive, either, oh no, because that just wasn’t enough. He also had to have an amazing personality.

“Let’s go over there,” he said after he sobered up, nodding towards the spring riders. “No racing this time.” He added with a wide grin. You weren’t able to suppress your own grin quick enough, rolling your eyes as you shoved his shoulder.

“I’m glad we met up today,” you admitted sincerely as you rocked back and forth on the spring ride. “You’re even better in person.”

Kunhang stopped rocking on his spring ride and looked at you. “I’m glad we met up today, too.” He told you with a smile that turned into one that was more sweet and shy as he said, “we should do it again some time, y’know, when we aren’t flooded with assignments and stuff.”

“Totally!”

“How about, maybe,”–Kunhang’s tongue darted out a sliver of his to wet his lips–“as a date?”

You stared at him in shock which he met head-on, that sweet, shy smile of his still present. You could feel a smile threaten to rise and you allowed it, messing with the hem of your top as you nodded in agreement. “That would be nice.”

“Really?” He asked, his tone both excited and unbelieving. When you assured him that you would be really looking forward to it, he said, “that’s– that’s great! I can’t wait, either.” Then, he jumped of his spring ride, held out his hand and pressed a feather light kiss to your knuckles like the Disney Prince he was when you placed your hand in his.

“We should probably head home.” You said, hand still in his. Kunhang never let go, so you figured he was okay with you interlocking your fingers and swinging your hands back and forth.

Like the gentleman he was, he waited for your bus with you and waited until you got on it, blowing kisses at you through the window. Your smile was so big your cheeks began to hurt as you pretended to catch the kisses.

(Later, after you had told Yangyang about how the day went swimmingly, you received a text from Kunhang and couldn’t help but huff out a small laugh. Your room-mate shot you a curious look so you let him read the text.

from: kunhang 💘

You know Yukhei?!?!?!!!!)

[gay-otlc]

Keepers Of The Chaos (3)

Summary: Tam, Linh, Dex, Keefe, Biana, and Fitz are part of the tiny fandom for Keeper of the Chaos, and Tam and Linh’s podcast convinces some of their other friends to watch it as well. The group finds themselves strangely invested in this show, where students at Tumblr High School who work together to write about an elf named Sophia, cause incomprehensible chaos, and fight their rival Pinterest High School.

Content warnings: Cursing, religion (Jewish Vackers), and Amsterdam (just in case, I know that was stressful for some people).

Word count: 1621

Notes: Most of the episodes are just events stolen from Lynn's roundup, Dex's memes are here

(Read on AO3)

The life of an amateur meme maker on dumbles dot com was a strange one, that was for sure. After finishing xyr favorite show- Ze-Ra: Monaerchs of Powhir- for the third time, Dex had searched for another show to fill the void in xyr soul. Biana recommended this show called "Keepers of the Chaos" and described it to xem. Xe was doubtful at first, but after watching the first episode, xe was hooked.

Xe used to not have many friends at xyr school, so xe did what every neurodivergent queer teen would do- made an account on dumbles dot com. People seemed to like xem- or at least, they liked dizznee-plus's memes and edits of Ze-Ra characters. Even after Dex befriended xyr squish, Fitz, thons sister, Biana, and aer girlfriend, Sophie, xe continued making content on dumbles. Around that time, the Ze-Ra fandom started dying off, and xyr memes started getting fewer note

In a sudden, two am burst of inspiration, Dex made edits of some of xyr favorite characters, like Ref, Akki, and Rose, with their respective pride flags (all of them bi) over them, and captioned it "we must be gay." The post blew up, or at least, what could be considered blowing up in Keeper of the Chaos's tiny fandom, and that was how Dex found xyr calling as an amateur meme/edit maker for KOTC.

History had been repeating itself, with the KOTC fandom starting to die off, until it was revived by an announcement from creator Saturn Nolastname- a season two would be released soon. Frantically, Dex made a meme about season one episode two, with the car salesman meme. Xe edited "chaos keepers" onto the car salesman, "the rarelynoticed" on the car, and "this bad boy can fit so many stripper outfits into it."

That had been... an interesting episode, to say the least. The chaos keepers had been talking about the antagonists of "Sophie and the Dark Duck"- a rebel group called the Rarelynoticed. In the information packet they'd been given, it was confirmed that the Rarelynoticed wore black cloaks and armbands, but no other clothes had been mentioned. Somehow, the chaos keepers came to the conclusion that the Rarelynoticed really wore neon pink leotards and green stripper heels, then drew this idea.

Needless to say, the Tumblr staff did not let them write that into the book. Nor did Lynn, the unofficially chosen leader of the group. Unfortunately for her, this didn't stop the chaos keepers from drawing more of these- or the fandom from making a ton of memes. In addition to the car salesman meme, a post with Drake saying no to "wearing normal fucking villain outfits" and yes to "leotards and stripper heels" gained popularity within the small fandom.

Though nothing could match the absolute shock of seeing the Rarelynoticed stripper outfit for the first time, Dex decided to rewatch the episode anyway- it was funny to see the chaos keepers freak out, and maybe xe could get some good screen captures. The good Saturn Nolastname indulged xem, and xe captured an excellent scene of most of the chaos keepers either laughing or screaming at the Rarelynoticed stripper outfits, with Kimber- one of xyr favorites- sitting on the side, explaining to Juno and Kaitee why Bianca Cracker was bisexual.

Xe went over to dumbles, posted the picture, added an image description, and captioned it "Live photo of me not caring when my friends talk about sex/romance." Xe chuckled to xemself- this really was how it felt to be aroace. Xe tagged it as aromantic and asexual as well, since dumbles added flag colors. Smiling, xe went to go check xyr notifications.

Xyr jaw dropped when xe saw that @lordofthesnuggles- Fitzroy (Dex didn't know thons middle name) Vacker thonself had liked and reblogged all three of xyr memes, even adding compliments in the tags! Xe'd had a bit of a platonic crush on Fitz for... a really long time, but xe always felt too awkward to talk to thon, so it was nice to see that thon appreciated xyr humor.

Feeling energized- and excited to procrastinate on xyr math homework- Dex went to watch the next episode: Dark Duck Is Jewish Now. Being Jewish xemself, this was a really funny episode to xem.

Lynn had been writing a sort of spinoff- it would be called fanfiction, but it was for her own story- about some of the Dark Duck characters celebrating Christmas, and added a throwaway line about Bianca and Finn Cracker celebrating Hanukkah. Then, her fiance, Shai, had taken that idea and run with it, writing a list of ideas about what would happen if the Cracker family was Jewish. Hir friend Sam had jumped on the idea, and soon they had abandoned writing the actual Dark Duck in favor of writing a story about Jewish Dark Duck characters. Some of the other Jewish chaos keepers, like Ref and Cat, helped out.

To be honest, it kind of surprised Dex that no one had made a joke about the Jewish Crackers just being matzah, so xe supposed xe would have to be the first.

Xe posted that observation, quickly getting a like from Fitz- which made xem smile. After a few minutes, Dex posted another meme: Shai and Sam standing in front of a door with a sign that read "elves don't have religion," and them saying "This sign won't stop me, because I can't read!"

It was accurate.

While that episode was great for Jewish representation, and funny, the Banana Noir episode was just plain weird.

It focused less on the Dark Duck than most of the other episodes, and was more about the crazy interactions of the chaos keepers. The episode was named for Banana Noir, who was really Cat Noir, but in a banana suit. Banana Noir was the son of Mellie, who looked like a shark, and Nora, who had platonically married faer. The mothers tried to arrange a marriage between him and Akki, who loved the side characters of the Dark Duck series. However, Akki wanted to marry Amelia. After a lot of shit that basically no one understood, Banana Noir's attempts were thwarted, and Lynn officiated the wedding between Akki and Amelia.

Yeah, Dex had no idea what the fuck was going on either. Xe'd watched an episode of Twins of the Chaos and a youtube video by arsonpog analyzing the Banana Noir chronicles, as it had been dubbed by the chaos keepers, and both expert opinions seemed to agree that Saturn Nolastname and the rest of the writers had probably been on crack when they made that episode.

The next episode made slightly more sense, though it was a low bar. After taking a break from the "official" Dark Duck story, the chaos keepers began collectively writing a Cinderella story about the characters Sophia and Bianca. People weren't allowed to be queer in the official story, but the chaos keepers still wanted to have fun with their obviously gay characters.

Even to the viewers of the show, who only received secondhand information about the Dark Duck characters, knew there was no way any of them, let alone all of them, were allocishet. The exact identities weren't entirely clear- when Dex had made edits of the characters' official art and xyr headcanons for their pride flags, a few people had disagreed- but both the chaos keepers and the fandom knew that despite what Shannon said, Sophia and Bianca were in love, and their Cinderella story should have made it in to the official Dark Duck story.

While excerpts of the Cinderella story were quoted in the show, most of it was left unclear, so Biana had taken it upon aerself to write aer own version of it. Dex was expecting an update later  that day, actually, or maybe the next. Ae wasn't always 100% reliable with aer update schedule. Still, Dex looked forward to when it eventually did come.

After the brief calmness from the Sophianca Cinderella episode, season one episode six, Amsterdam, exploded back into chaos. A few of the chaos keepers decided to discuss a fake scene in the book in which crazy shit went down, with the scene supposedly being located in Amsterdam. It had never been written and was never going to be, but everyone discussed it like it was real. Some of the highlights involved all the Dark Duck girls having swords (and the chaos keepers being gay for them), and a speedboat chase scene through the canals. Fitz had a popular theory that the chaos keepers would actually travel to Amsterdam in order to commemorate this crazy part of their lives. Almost as popular as that was a meme Dex made, with a man labeled "chaos keepers discussing amsterdam" and gesturing feverishly to a wall covered in papers and red string.

Of course, episode seven (Dark Duck Disney) was chaotic too. Everything was chaotic with this group, it was in the title. Shannon announced that the winning Dark Duck story would be adapted into a Disney movie. After past experience with terrible book to movie adaptations, the chaos keepers panicked. They panicked so much that it became major news within their school, which until then, had been largely ignoring the chaos keepers. Once the discussion about the movie settled down, they talked a lot about how in awe they were that their Dark Duck shenanigans were trending within the school.

But of course, none of that compared to the last episode of the season...

Dex changed xyr profile picture to include an ominous pair of teal eyes and sighed.

[lesbianlovelanguage]

YOUTUBER AU I’m such a fucking sucker for those. It can be anything you want really. Maybe they are friends doing a challenge or something and they end up kissing (or more ;)) or they could meet each other at like a creator even and take a pic together and everyone starts to ship them... :)

HI! Anon I am so sorry, life has been *general handwaving* a MESS. But, I’ve finally gotten most of my shit together and look! A fic! Finally!!! I hope you enjoy two ridiculous boys being ridiculous.

---

“You guys asked for it, and here it is. The explanation to Bendy and the Ink Machine! Now, I’ve watched a ton of playthroughs of this, especially The RatKing’s, as well as played through it myself, and I think I’ve got it.” 

Such a simple statement, it made it through both of the editors as well as Steve and Dustin themselves without raising any red flags. But as with everything, once it had been released on the internet it became fuel for fans to break apart and over analyze. 

The comments started pouring in, the standard mix of support and people trying to break apart his theory. But one comment in particular would stand out and begin something so much bigger than itself. 

Twenty minutes after Steve had pressed upload, someone with the username Random Hoe posted a comment saying Awe! A collab between you and Billy would be totes amazing!! While an innocent comment in itself, it began to pick up steam as people ranted and demanded for the two popular youtubers to interact more. It turned from video ideas to outright shipping within two hours, and only five hours after the video had been up, people began tagging Steve on Twitter with everything from edited screen grabs to fanart and video edits, all about Steve and Billy’s secret yet undying love for each other. 

Steve had almost quit Youtube as the fanbase for what had been dubbed “Stilly” steadily grew and became all the more ravenous. There were less and less comments and reactions to his theories, whether movie, video game, or even book related, and more and more comments about how he needed to do a collab with Billy ASAP, and how he’s queerbaiting, and how it’s okay to come out, it was 20Gayteen after all. He had tried to do damage control, but it only made things worse. 

And then someone showed Billy, and Steve not only wanted to quit Youtube, but also crawl under a rock. 

Billy’s only reaction to someone sending him a picture of Steve and Billy during a live stream was “Nice art, like the hair,” but Steve could have sworn his mouth twitched down in a grimace before Billy recovered his composure. 

But Dustin had convinced Steve to keep going, and with two months of no recognition or new content, the frenzy of Stilly shipping died down. It never disappeared, but no one sent anymore art to Billy and stopped tagging Steve in all of their posts. That had been in February. 

Vidcon was in June, and Stilly was the least of Steve’s worries. He’d been asked to host a panel on the new game show he and Dustin had begun hosting on Youtube TV about pop culture trivia, and then host a live episode with various Youtube guests as competitors. It promised to be relatively simple, a simple explanation of the origin and behind-the-scenes and a simple Q&A session followed by what he spent every Thursday doing for the past two months. And it was, him and Dustin breezing through the panel bouncing off of each other and the first round of Did You Know? You Don’t Say? flying by as the famed beauty guru aced almost every question. But once the second guest stepped on stage, Steve knew it was all going to go to shit. 

Because Billy Hargrove, The Rat King himself, swaggered out on the stage in flip flops and an Everlast crop top and flopped into the contestant’s chair with a smirk. Steve froze, mouth suddenly drier than a desert. 

Luckily, Dustin didn’t even stutter. “Ah! The next victim. Should we go easy on him?” He waggled his eyebrows as he asked the audience. The audience shouting brought Steve out of his daze, and with a shake of his head, he turned and spread his arms out wide. 

“Well then, let’s begin. So, Billy, Do you know what the rarest MnM color is?” 

The cocky smirk melted off of Billy’s face, replaced by one of thoughtful determination. He’s silent for only a moment before he looks up and says, “Brown, like your eyes, Pretty Boy.” Steve feels his pale skin flush with heat, but he coughs and tries to play it off.

“Quite the charmer there, Rat King. Luckily, your lines are actually true. One point! Let’s see it!” He calls out and then looks behind him to the television screen currently displaying the scoreboard. A large blocky 1 appears and the audience cheers. 

“Alrighty then,” Dustin says after the crowd dies down. “Next question. Billy, Do you know the original name of Istanbul?” Billy chuckles, and shakes his head.

“Easy. Constantinople.”

Dustin fake pouts and looks over to Billy. “None of that Rat King charm for me?” The audience laughs, and Billy chuckles before throwing a wink at Dustin.

“Not quite old enough to ride this ride, bud.” 

Dustin scoffs and shakes his head, making the curls bounce around wildly. “Whatever you say, old man. You did get it right by the way. Let me see another point!” Dustin mimics Steve and gestures towards the scoreboard which now shows a big, white 2. 

“Your turn, Pretty Boy. Give me something hard.”

“Alright. Let’s see.” Steve pretends to look over his notes before seeing the perfect question. “So, Billy, Do you know which two American states don’t observe daylight savings time?” Billy stares blankly at Steve. This was the final question in their lineup, but he had asked for a hard question. 

Luckily, Billy recovers quickly and clears his throat before giving another chuckle. “Damn, I know I said give me a hard one, but I wasn’t expecting that. I’m gonna go with Hawaii and Alaska?” Steve shakes his head and gives a small sigh. 

Dustin gives a little cheer, and then runs over to a table off to the side of the stage where they have a cue card that the contestant has to read off of if they lose. It was Dustin’s idea, the You don’t say? part of the title. It’s his favorite part of the show, because they get to see their contestants say some ridiculous things.

“Well, unfortunately, that was incorrect,” Steve announces over the booing audience. “And, following the rules, you now have to read whatever is on this card.” Dustin hands Billy the cue card with a wicked grin. 

Billy sighs and flips over the card. There’s a moment of silence as he reads over what the card says, and then he looks up at Steve and clears his throat.

“Would a Pretty Boy want to go out with me?” He says in a clear voice, gaze never leaving Steve’s. 

Suddenly too many things for Steve to process happen at once. He feels the heat return to his cheeks and his mouth dry out again, the audience goes wild, and a buzzer sounds, signaling that they were out of time for Did You Know? You Don’t Say? Dustin comes through and pushes a frozen Steve off-stage, where Billy is waiting in the wings. With the audience’s weighty gaze gone, the feeling returns to Steve all at once.

“What the hell man? What was that out there?” He hissed at Billy. The man simply shrugs and gives another one of his trademark smirks.

“Just giving the people what they want, Princess. Try to keep up.” And then he turns around, and walks away. Simple as that. Nothing to it. 

Steve wants to scream. Fortunately, he and Dustin have been friends for years, and he knows all of Steve’s tics by now. The stagehands shoo them from the wings, and he pulls Steve through one of the backdoors to outside the convention center. Somehow, he also procures a water bottle in the hustle, and hands it to Steve once they’re both sitting on the steps outside. Steve takes the water bottle gratefully and chugs half of it in one long gulp. He pulls it away and wipes at his face before sighing. He seems to deflate, like a balloon losing all of its helium at once, and Dustin puts an arm around him. It’s awkward because he’s shorter than Steve, but it’s still comforting nonetheless. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Dustin asks quietly.

“I- I’m so stupid. For just a second I thought it was real, but why would it be? What would someone like him see in someone like me?” Dustin lets out a huff before pulling away and turning towards Steve.

“Steve, buddy, pal o’ mine. You’re an idiot. If anything, he doesn’t deserve you. He’s a pompous ass for pulling a stunt like that. It’s bullshit.” 

“He could have anyone. Between his paycheck and his pecs, he’s one of Youtube’s hottest content creators.”

“Yeah, sure. But for the sake of alliteration, he also lacks personality. The guy’s a huge dick! And he proved it today. He knew that you wouldn’t shut him down and bitch him out on stage, so he thought it would be funny to pull that shit.”

“Yeah, he is kind of just a publicity-seeking asshole, you’re right,” Steve admits, feeling a little better, and a lot angrier. “You know what, Dusty-Poo? I’m gonna find him, and give him a piece of my mind.” He stands up, itching for a fight and knowing who to go find for one.

“Tha-that’s not exactly what I meant but sure! Go knock him down a peg.” Dustin stands up as well and follows Steve back onto the main showfloor. 

It takes about twenty minutes to find Billy amongst the crowd but Steve sees him, and locks in like a tiger stalking his prey. Or something cool like that. Thankfully, Steve doesn’t have to make a huge scene as he walks up to Billy and gets in his face. 

“You. Me. Conference Room 3. Now,” Steve says, poking a finger in the middle of Billy’s chest to emphasize his point. Billy chuckles, but still follows along as they walk into the empty conference room. Once they clear the doors and Steve hears them swing shut behind them, he turns to Billy.

“Explain. What the fuck was the point of that little,” he wavs his hand around, “stunt you pulled during the game show?” 

Billy raises an eyebrow. “Told you Pretty Boy. I gave the people what they wanted. 

“So that’s it? It was a publicity stunt?” 

“You tell me. You’re the one who started the whole thing,” Billy shoots back, still holding on to an air of nonchalance, but Steve can his patience waning.

“You- you mean the stuff from February? When I happened to mention you in one video? You think I meant for that shitstorm to start, for fun and publicity?” 

Billy only shrugs again.

“Okay. Nope. Again, I mentioned your channel one time, as a source. Gave credit where credit was due. I do it for all the channels I watch! I’ve mentioned Nancy’s channel like 8 times, and Jonathan’s too. Never had this shit started with them.”

“They’re married, Steve. Like super married. Of course it wouldn’t. We’re both single, queer youtubers. Of course shit’s gonna stop. Didn’t your agent or whoever look over your video?”

Steve huffs. “Oh yeah, let me just go hire an agent, cause I have such a need for someone to monitor my every move,” Steve snarked. Billy just looked at him like he had failed to add 2 and 3.

“You’re telling me you, part of one of the biggest channels on Youtube, don’t have an agent?” 

“We’re not one of the biggest channels, and we’ve never needed one! We’ve got our team of editors and assistants, no need for some agent.”

“Steve,” Billy says patiently, like he was explaining something to a child, “You have over 4 million subscribers. That’s a big channel.” 

“We’re still not one of the biggest channels, dipshit.”

“Oh, I'm the dipshit? I didn’t start a fucking fandom frenzy apparently by accident. Because I was smart and got a fucking agent.”

“You’re such an asshole.” 

“Whatever you say Princess.”

“Stop fucking calling me a princess!” Steve screams, voice booming in the silent conference room. “Why do you do that? Pretty Boy, Princess, Stevie? Just- just stop with the fucking nicknames. It’s not fair.” The second part of his outburst comes out as a whisper, sounding almost desperate. 

Billy was at a loss for words, but then again, he had always been more of a man of action. 

So he says nothing, only gives a seconds’ thought of what he was going to do, before lunging forward and doing it. 

Steve’s next words are muffled as Billy crashes their lips together with absolutely no finesse, teeth clacking. It probably constituted as the worst kiss Billy has ever had, but as he moves back, Steve grabs a fist full of blond locks and pulls him forward. Their 

second kiss is far better. By no means is it soft, but that was just par for the course with them wasn’t it? 

The kiss comes to a natural ending as they both pull back to breath, before Steve starts to giggle. 

“You really need to work on your pick-up lines, Rat King.”

A soft gasp from the doorway cuts off Billy’s retort, and they both turn to see a girl decked out in Youtube merch, including a jacket with the Upside Down Theories logo on it. She had dropped her backpack, and was open-mouthed gaping at the two. Her eyes are as wide as dinner plates as she frantically gathers up her backpack and shoots out of the conference room. 

“Chances that this blows up online by tomorrow?” Steve asks, turning to the blond next to him. 

“I’m betting in the next two hours, Pretty Boy,” Billy replies.

A wicked smirk creeps onto Steve’s lips as he shrugs and says, “Oops. What was that about getting an agent to help with this stuff?” 

---

Aside from this taking FOREVER, I hope you guys enjoy this! It was tons of fun to write.

tag team: @lostnoise @gideongrace @stevefuckingharrington @a-magey @catharrington @trashycatarcade @myboyfriendsteve @thesummerof84 @lightsupinthenorth @smashmouth-hargrove (lmk if you would like to be added/removed from the list!)

[seras-elessar]

Brooklyn 99 and Copaganda: My Two Cents

I’ve been reading many of the posts about cop-propaganda and how Brooklyn 99 as a diverse comedy police procedural hits all the hallmarks of whitewashing the police, but I’ve been reticent to engage because a) the posts are getting oh so long already and b) my thoughts haven’t been fully formed until about now. Just disclosing my credentials I’m going to come at this from a bachelors of film- and media-studies with a minor in moral and ethics philosophy, as well as my many years as an educator. 

I will also disclose that I really enjoy Brooklyn 99, and anyone can continue to do so while being aware of the issues. Being aware of problems with the media you consume is not a weakness, it’s a strength.

I’m going to go, point by point on why I think Brooklyn 99 Ended up the way it did and what we need to be aware of as we move forward. I will however put a tl:dr up here as well as a more in depth conclution at the end.

TL:DR: Brooklyn 99′s copaganda is an unfortunate combination of socially aware creators using the show as a platform to raise awareness and being part of two genres (comedy and crime) with problems inherent in the way stories in those genres are told. It’s not deliberately trying to whitewash the police, they do so by trying to do the right thing as creators with a large platform.

The Case of the Creators and Cast

The first part is looking at the people who are showrunners, producers, writers and the cast. The originators Dan Goor and Michael Shur have many series to their names, and all follow similar patterns; starting with a comedy premise and then developing as the seasons continue, often using their platform to raise points about social and moral issues. Andy Samberg is also a big part, being the main lead and credited as producer.

The cast is racially diverse and the show brings attention to that, both for comedy and to highlight social and political issues. They also appear to have a working relationship with the writers and directors, so the cast are allowed a lot of input into how their characters are portrayed and how they develop.

It’s clear to me going through the series, looking up creators and cast in interviews and their social media presence that most of them are socially and politically aware and wanted to use their platform to highlight and raise awareness about injustices the see in American society today. This is something many creators have been asked to do for many years and it’s admirable that they want to actually at least bring these issues up in the time they have. However this brings us to the second part which may be the biggest contributors to why Brooklyn 99 is seen as not just copaganda, but even insidious.

The Problem of the Premise (or Faulty Framing)

This is the long part.

Much, so much, of the problems of Brooklyn 99 and it’s place in cop-centered media is the premise. And I don’t mean that it is cop-centered. No I mean it becomes a problem that it’s a comedy. I will take the cop-part first and circle back to the comedy to better show why.

Police procedurals as a form of media follows certain patterns and tropes, many of which are inherent to the genre. The structure of each episode being “awareness of crime - investigation - reveal and capture of guilty party”. This structure is very easy to work into three acts with a classical dramatic curve, following the conflict introduction, advance the conflict, and climax.

graph from kurser.se illustrating their course in scriptwriting

A police procedural follows the cops, detectives or investigators as they solve a crime and punish the guilty. For our purposes that is not in and of itself a problem, however it shapes our point of view of the events that transpire and how we react in the climax. The cops are the main characters, the heroes of the narrative, and we’re made to empathise with their struggles (to punish the guilty).

They also use many tropes. The Box episode is one such trope, where the entire episode is one long interrogation and it reoccurs in almost all crime and punishment TV-shows. Homicide: Life on the Streets had a very intense Box episode, and holds the same problems that the similar episode in Brooklyn 99 has (no lawyer, racing against the legally allotted time arrested, manipulation tactics et cetera). Police use of force, antagonistic internal affairs investigations, powerplays among the higher-ups and many other tropes make their way into Brooklyn 99.

One thing not brought up a lot is the episode where Peralta and Santiago track a criminal breaking into an upscale hotel. During capture of the suspect Peralta causes some collateral damage as he throws himself at the suspect. The jump hits a bystander and breaks his leg, and from the reactions and the dialogue it’s shown to be a very serious injury.

The ensemble of detectives are portrayed as socially conscious and (mostly) competent. Even the butt of the joke character displays this (Hitchcock: “He was arrested for being black. Get woke, Scully!”)

This is where playing it for comedy can be an issue. Comedy is a release of tension, a cushion to the impact of the narrative. It’s not for nothing that the funny person in otherwise serious media has been dubbed as the comic relief. This makes the unhealthy tropes inherent to the crime and police TV-show come off as less of a problem and more cute, quirky and fun. That I think is one of the main reasons why Brooklyn 99 in particular feel insidious when they tackle social issues because

1) whitewashing police in a cop show is expected. The story comes from a person we can root for catching a bad-guy.

2) simplifying issues in a comedy is expected. Comedy is difficult on it’s own, jokes are hard to write well, so when that is the focus much of the rest needs to be smoothed out.

3) when these come together, portraying cops as good and simplifying issues for the comedy, it downplays their importance and impact.

4) this becomes troublesome when tackling real-life issues of injustice and problems with society today. First we’re sympathetic to our main characters, being shown as good cops, second we have issues brought up in a serious manner, and some issues being very serious, but then they’re played for comedy.

The premise is flawed when they lean toward social issues and the framing of the show and the characters enhances that.

This is where I also want to note again that I don’t think this was intentional. The show wasn’t crafted to be propaganda. The cop-show as an entity, a type of media, is propagandistic because of how stories of crime and punishment is told.

Series and Syndication

This will be a short bit, but I want to bring it up. When Brooklyn 99 was created it was syndicated to run at Fox. The channels, not just their news network, has unhealthy connections to not only the police, but the military, conservative think tanks and political initiatives. To be green-lit they likely had to pass screeners with an extreme pro-cop filter. But it was green-lit, so how did that happen?

Media, art in general, is always a compromise, and I think the positive portrayal of the cops and the police as a whole (some bad apples, sure) was part of the compromise to get syndicated. Police is a touchy subject in American television. I already cited Homicide above and they whitewash planting a weapon on a suspect one of the main characters murders. They spend the season building up how bad the suspect is, but how they can’t find evidence directly connecting him to the crimes. They get enough to go in, and they shoot this unarmed Black man. Then they put a gun they brought in his hand to plead self defense. The audience is told this was a necessary evil, the only way to get him “off the streets”.

This is a worse example than much of the abuses portrayed in Brooklyn 99, but again, Brooklyn 99 plays the abuses off with comedy. Homicide did not, they framed it as morally right.

Media and Literacy

Media literacy is a problem. When I worked as an educator very few if any age group was able to read media and see connections to real life biases and politics. The way we consume media impacts the way we feel and react to things in real life.

I’ve explained framing countless times, and how media tells us who’s right and wrong and who we as viewers should sympathise with. This is illustrated really well in this video-essay by Renegade Cut concerning the framing in Rick & Morty.

https://youtu.be/X-8ICfWsUVw 

Consuming Brooklyn 99 without thinking about how the framing of the actions of the characters and the events of the stories impacts our reading and thereby out feelings towards cops in general is why some people have expressed that they “grown to understand and like” the police after watching it. This is again an unfortunate combination of creators and genres.

We do need media literacy as a part of our education, and it grows more and more important the more accessible media becomes.

Conclusion (or The Monkey’s Paw)

I think the problem of Brooklyn 99 stems from the cross between comedy, crime fiction and creators who want to do more than tell jokey-jokes and actually use their platform to lift issues they care about. This awareness isn’t bad, in and of itself, I actually think it’s something all creators should try. They had a platform and they wanted to do the right thing. 

This is in my opinion the cruel joke of this discussion. The creators know they should raise awareness when they can and they try to do so, but in doing so they’ve created a propaganda tool for the police geared toward the most vulnerable demographics, racial and sexual minorities. That’s why I find this conclusion to be a Monkeys Paw, we got a high performing show, with a diverse racial and sexual cast, that displays knowledge and understanding about topics of injustice, from a politically aware creative team... and it’s smoothing out the injustices committed by the people they portray.

[thebarefootking]

Food

As with many autistic people, my childhood was rife with battles at the dinner table over what I would and would not eat. (Or, in my case, the bar. Our trailer didn't have a dinner table, per se, and I ate on a tall chair in the kitchen, facing across the bar toward the living room TV, while my parents sat on the couch.) Some foods were fan favorites, some I wouldn't touch with a ten-foot fork. Tomatoes, I hated (and still hate!) One of my earliest memories is of a preschool teacher, so much bigger than me, coming up behind while I picked at my food.

"Don't you like tomatoes?"

"No. They're gross."

"Have you ever tried a tomato?"

"No. They smell bad and they're mushy."

"Well how do you know you don't like it, if you haven't tasted it?" she asked, ignoring the fact I'd just told her. "Try it. For me?"

"I don't wanna."

"Just one bite?"

"I don't. wanna."

"You need to try the tomato."

Of course, when I finally gave in to her badgering, I 'learned' what had already been apparent to me: tomatoes were gross.

Some foods, more interestingly, were one-day delights, preferred a couple times and then hated thereafter. Eggs, for example, were always a trial. A nice scramble was always accepted, at least for my youngest years, until I learned more about where eggs came from. After that, I swore I could taste the chicken embryos, and I didn't eat eggs for a good, long while. When I repented of my folly, fried eggs were the dish of the day, but only one way: cooked hard, with the yolk unbroken. That way, I could peel the egg white away and eat it, and leave the whole yolk on my plate to be disposed of or, more frequently, eaten by one of my parents.

For those of you who cook, you may know that this is a particularly difficult way to prepare eggs. Either the yolks stay runny and burst on the plate (bad), or they burst in the pan from heat and overhandling, and mingle inextricably with the white (worse). Dad claims it took him months of practice to figure out how to do it, and years to get really good… by which time I'd gone off eggs again, preferring a sweeter breakfast (probably for the energy boost it gave me. By the time 4th-6th grades rolled around, school was causing me to work up an intense appetite.)

Although I didn't have a very broad spectrum of preferred tastes, that didn't stop me wanting to experiment in the kitchen. Indeed, it was one of my favorite things to do! Unfortunately, I could rarely get an adult to allow it (partly because we, in our poverty, could not afford to waste ingredients. Partly because, again, due to poverty, everyone was just too damn exhausted to supervise something that potentially dangerous.) Instead, I usually ended up sneaking and doing it on my own, which invariably led to trauma of one kind or another.

One incident occurred one of the very first times my parents dubbed me old enough to stay home on my own while they went out to run errands. Having recently seen a news spot on dyed salt for those seeking to reduce their salt intake, I sought to replicate the stuff in my own kitchen. How hard could it be? I thought. Just add food coloring to salt.

Only, food coloring has water in it.

All the salt (and I do mean all the salt in the house) was now a dark blue-green color, and the texture of wet sand. I needed to dry it out! But I wasn't allowed to use the oven or stove unsupervised. What could I do?

I decided the best option was to microwave the salt. I spread it out on a large plate, and nuked it in batches until all the salt was dry. Unfortunately, for the first batch, I failed to realise how VERY FUCKING HOT the plate would be after several minutes spinning away in the microwave. I pulled it out barehanded, screeched in pain, and tossed the Perry-the-Platypus-colored salt all over the kitchen floor and microwave cabinet.

Not good. I was already beginning to worry about what my parents would think about all this business with the salt. Now I had a mess on my hands to boot. I tended to my (thankfully minor) burns, and then began swabbing the floor and cabinet with damp paper towels...

… which spread the food dye EVERYWHERE. Now the salt was teal, the floor was teal, the cabinet was teal, and I was teal.

And I had no idea when my parents would return!

I cleaned frantically, microwaving salt on the side the entire time. And somehow (perhaps Lot's wife was smiling upon me?) I got it all managed. My parents came home to a nice, clean kitchen (if you didn't see the small blue spots in the crevices at the very edge of one cabinet), and a calm, collected child (also slightly spotted, but only on the palms, easily hidden). Nothing of note occurred until dinner time.

"LAUREN!!"

Apparently, Dad did not like that all of his salt was turned 'blue'. My reasoning appeased his anger, but he was still pretty displeased. I was temporarily banned from using the microwave without permission. And they were far more cautious about leaving me alone, after that.

(These days, Dad frequently apologises for this. He says it was a creative and thoughtful act, and he shouldn't have gotten mad. I agree, but I'm also not mad anymore. The whole thing is rather funny in retrospect.)

A much more traumatic food event, much later, but still involving the microwave, was the first time I tried making microwave mac 'n cheese. It was around the inception of Easy Mac, so the idea was quite novel; it wasn't as if I had a backlog of knowledge on what not to do…

I followed the instructions exactly, with the single differing point of adding some dried parsley before cooking.

AND LET ME TELL YOU.

If you are going to add parsley to your Easy Mac, do it after cooking! Cooking amplifies and alters the flavor so that it tastes like you added some sort of cooked leafy vegetable, like spinach, except somewhat more like an inedible plant. The flavor permeates every nook and noodle, and even the cheese sauce can't mask it.

It was inedible. Beyond inedible; it was sensory overload of the worst kind.

And my parents, who had watched the whole thing, and warned me of putting anything in my food that I didn't 100% know would taste good, made me eat it.

At first, there was a screaming match, until I wore myself out with tears and begging. Then, I just sat there, defeated, thinking of ways I could get out of eating it. Maybe if I intentionally get choked on the food? Maybe if I shatter the glass of the coffee table, and then hurt myself with it? Something to make them care about something other than me eating this food. Anything to make them see how much eating the food was bad and wrong and how much it hurt me.

I was never, in my entire childhood, a willfully disobedient child. Well, small things, here or there, a child's innocent inability to self-regulate their impulses or understand the rules. Never did I knowingly and intentionally go against my parents' commands when I now feel like I had another real choice. But there were times, like these, when I didn't have a choice.

I ate three bites before my body rebelled and I threw up. Mom didn't follow through on her threat to make me eat the vomit and finish the food.

Instead, I got grounded for two weeks.

Incidentally, I've never gotten an apology for this little incident, despite it being the one I'm still angry over.

None of this is to say I was too picky to be fed, or that I ever went without (excepting that one night with the poison mac). If anything, I ate more than plenty in an attempt to offset the lacks in nutrition my pickiness inevitably led to. I'm sure that I was malnourished at times, despite eating more than my necessary share of calories.

And boy, was I aware of what that share was! My parents were and are avid yo-yo dieters, always on one plan or another to lose the weight they gained off a diet of poverty foods. All the while, frustrated by my pickiness, they fed me on breakfasts of whole packages of off-brand cinnamon rolls or apple turnovers. My lunch was usually whatever snack-foods I could convince the lunch ladies to sell me for the same price as a school lunch I wouldn't eat. With both parents either busy or exhausted, dinner was Taco Bell nearly every damn weekday.

It was inevitable that I would gain weight, with the genes, environment, and diet all inclined toward it. I was ten or eleven the first time my parents mentioned including me in one of their diet plans.

Not likely, I thought. I had long since decided that healthy food was gross, like school lunches and boiled vegetables and limp salads. And I wouldn't, couldn't cut my portions; not when I had to stay alert and concentrating while hauling all my books all around the school without a bookbag (which, after the Columbine shooting, had been banned at my school, lest we ten-year-olds have a place to conceal a weapon). I was already battling undiagnosed ADHD. I didn't need low blood sugar on top of it.

Still, if it gave them an incentive to buy more fresh fruit, I wasn't going to complain.

(And I didn't complain at all about any of their diets, until the one that consisted almost exclusively of boiled cabbage soup that stank the house to high heaven. I didn't even entertain joining them on that one.)

What it all added up to, though, was someone who, by the age of eleven, already had enormous issues with food and body image. And diet, for that matter, for we still hadn't found a healthy variety of foods that I would eat. By the time I was in high school, I was eating Cheetos and Little Debbies with Mountain Dew for lunch every weekday except Wednesday (chicken nuggets and mashed potatoes day in the cafeteria! Hell yeah!) I was also being (mildly) bullied for my weight.

Adulthood came after, with blessings and curses. When I moved out on my own, I had more opportunity (and income!) to explore what I liked culinarily. I got to employ the whole backlog of tips and tricks from cooking shows that I had watched for years. (At one point, during high school, I had wanted to become a chef. I gave up the idea when I realised how ill-suited I was to the job, but the education of the time stuck with me.)

I got to learn my favorite ways to cook food (pan fried, not baked. Baking unseasoned meat is not 'cooking', Dad.) I got to play with spices and flavors.

Or, I did for a while.

Very soon, my work at McDonald's caught up with me, and I found myself too tired to do much cooking. (Sorry, Dad! I understand, now!) More and more, my meals were eaten at work, from work. Over the next year, my stress increased, and my eating habits faltered along. And then, I began passing out at work.

Now, I needn't tell you this is a very dangerous situation, what with all the hot oil and ovens and lamps and such in a kitchen. I was sent home more than once, and it was becoming a danger not only to me, but to the state of my employment. I got in with a doctor as soon as I possibly could, and they determined that I had iron deficiency anemia.

No one was particularly surprised. I have a family history of the affliction, and I had basically been living off yogurt cups, Sausage Egg McMuffins, and chicken biscuits with cheese for months. My doctor suggested diet changes and high-dose iron supplements.

(One of these two turned my poop to black sin slime from a hell portal in my bowels. It was not the diet.)

Immediately, I switched over to a high-iron, high-protein, low-carb diet. And you know what? I felt fucking fantastic. I had energy for days, my mental acuity was improved, and my mood was better. I fell asleep faster and slept more soundly.

For three months, I kept it up. But then the financial burden became too much. Turns out, it's damn expensive to eat home-cooked meat every day when you're picky as hell. I was easily spending at least two to three times as much as I was when I was eating only fast food (on employee discount, admittedly). And soon, between the stress, the financial concerns, and my health problems, I had to move back in with my parents.

Honestly, I still haven't found peace with food and its place in my life. Coming to accept what my sensory needs mean for me has been difficult, and working around those needs in a productive way has been nearly impossible, especially with my other disabilities in tow. I feel that I'm learning to be kinder to my body emotionally speaking, but I could still be much kinder to it physically. 

If only I could figure out how.

I wish I could be that little kid who loved experimenting in the kitchen, again. But I'm not, and I can't. So I'll have to find another way to take care of me.

[sassyhazelowl]

Fairy Tail Pride

Day 14 Prompt: “Who says you can’t explore?” Pairing: bi!gajeel x pan!levy @ft-wwtdp

                                                           ~*~

Levy wasn’t sure, exactly, how the topic had come up. Really, this is where her rambling always led - right to trouble. And if there was anything Gajeel loved more than her, it was a good argument over trouble.

‘Exploration’ he had dubbed it, cracking a not-funny joke both had probably heard a hundred times about a phase. He’d hurried on at her look, explaining they should explore at least a little about how they felt. He meant to use the word ‘cathartic’ to explain but he mostly just called it touchy, feeling ‘sharing shit.’

Levy called it being nosy. Gajeel was the biggest gossip she’d ever met, and once he’d gotten wind that she was pan during one of her long, rambling rants, he was silent for a long while before admitting he was bi.

The admission took her by surprise - not that he was bi but that he trusted her enough to tell her. She knew by experience that wandering around proclaiming yourself to be bi or pan shrunk the dating pool amazingly fast. Plus, Gajeel was very invested in his manliness sometimes. Levy was touched he told her… until she realized what kind of conversations that lead to. Because every conversation tended to lead to this - the man loved to prod, she swore.

“Yer not serious,” he growled, shifting beneath her in a mixture of outrage and surprise. A huge, dramatic sigh gusted out, “That pretty boy?”

“Gajeel, Eve is good looking! All the girls in the guild think so. Well, except Erza. What do you have against him?”

“Twiggy,” he grunted with distaste. “Don’t like twiggy guys ‘sall.”

“Whatever, you big bi baby you like twiggy girls well enough!” she rolled her warm brown eyes and thumped her head against his chest with a thunk. He missed her humor and grumped until she prompted, “Your turn.”

He shoved a bicep in her face, just under her nose, and then smushed her. Kicking and giggling, she squirmed free and poked him sharply with her elbow in the gut, avoiding being dumped out of his lap as he bucked in annoyance. Huffing, he took his turn in the game, voice taking a bit of a lusty tone, “Laxus.”

Levy gasped, stomach fluttering a bit, “Laxus.”

“Yeh, so?” he was getting puffed up, and Levy considered needling him a bit, but instead she grinned, “Laxus is hot. All those muscles, so tall, that chiseled jaw? Good thing you’ve got such a shining personality, Gajeel, because otherwise he’d be major competition.”

Gajeel did dump her out of his lap then, “Yer lucky, twiggy.” Okay, so he hadn’t missed her jab earlier. With an evil grin, he struck like a snake while she was still a yelping tangle of limbs, rolling them over and over until they sprawled on the carpet together comfortably and breathless.

Levy had never really considered it before, that Gajeel might feel differently depending on the person involved. She and Eve really weren’t that far off in a lot of ways. But Gajeel’s preference for her was definitely not hypothetically. They were dressed, at the moment, but earlier it’d been a different kind of wrestling, and she wasn’t kidding about muscles being hot and sexy.

“My turn. Hmm, what about MiraJane? She’s very pretty.” Levy propped her chin on his chest to see his face better.

His face was one she’d remember forever.

“So that’s a no I guess.”

Gajeel’s lip twisted a bit, “Pretty, sure, pretty demonic. My turn… how ‘bout Erza’s beau, whatshisface… he’s ‘andsome ‘nough, in a shaggy, serious way.”

“JELLAL?” Levy yelped, face burning in mortification. Gajeel perked up, sensing dirt, and raised a studded eyebrow in askance. Her face was now imitating a lobster, and she wondered if she’d burned all those issues with heart throb Siegrin in them. Erza had taken to violently destroying any merch or media she found of the man, but he was insanely popular with teenage girls and Levy was no exception - there were a lot of copies, plenty of private hiding places and only one of Erza, as rage-filled as she’d been. Plus, she hadn’t ever paid much mind to Levy, so there was a fair chance a fat stack of black mail material was under her bed just waiting innocently for Gajeel to find it.

“Yup, that guy,” he drawled, propping himself on an elbow in that lazy way of his that she loved so much. It made her weak, and he knew it. That bastard. “Blue hair, big tattoo on ‘is face, mopes like his puppy was ‘icked.”

Normally she’d be tickled to hear the word ‘mopes’ out of Gajeel’s mouth - she’d been working hard to expand his vocabulary so they could argue better - but her mind was frantically racing to cover up her embarrassing secret… she’d been a groupie, caught up in the passion most young women had for popular celebrities. She bet Gajeel hadn’t been so goofy and immature about his crushes. Crap. Crap crap crap.

“Ah,” Gajeel murmured, that noise he made before he pitched out something very raunchy or politically incorrect. Nonononoooooooooo… “He was that kinda crush, huh?” He made a very rude gesture with two fingers on his right hand and Levy shrieked like a kettle, catching his meaning very, very clearly. And, unfortunately, he wasn’t wrong.

“I hate you.”

He leaned over and whispered huskily in her ear, giving words that were half promise and half appeasement that almost made her forgive him, then muttered cheekily, “There’s quite the poster under yer bed.”

“GAJEEL! THAT’S CHEATING! You - you bi bastard!”

“All’s fair in love, attraction and games, pan princess,” the man chuckled, having gotten the rise he wanted. He barely avoided the headbutt, which made him laugh harder, like the large, endearing, vexing bear of a man he was. She let him press a kiss to the top of her head, melting at the touch, irritation draining away.

Trouble. She was attracted to the whole world, and she got into bed with trouble, and she supposed she loved trouble too. Just a bit. But not right now.

[fineillsignup]

Bit of a weird question, but how do translators decide which terms to fully translate and which to romanticize? Like the difference between Akatsuki and Red Dawn? Thanks

I love these kinds of questions.

(First off, just a pedant thing because I cannot stop myself from correcting people and ruining friendships, 曉 akatsuki just means “dawn”, not “red dawn”. Also the word is “romanize” not “romanticize”.)

Ok so now the matter of choice. There are several angles to approach this question from.

First, cross-language interaction and communication is inseparable from larger issues of cultural exchange and principles of same. If you look over history, throughout most of history in Europe and East Asia (my knowledge of other areas is more limited, but I believe the pattern holds), cross-cultural communications of all kinds tended to be self-centric.

What I mean is that the names by which peoples called other peoples, other nations, other locations, etc etc, were not concerned with being accurate to the other peoples’ usage, and that’s being charitable. In fact, names for foreign places and peoples are very frequently deliberately offensive.

Hi China, said Japan. Hi dipshit, said China. Could you call us something else, other than dipshit, said Japan? - Bill Wurtz

Or when they do make an attempt to go off of what the foreign people are saying, they pronounce it according to local language rules. For example up until relatively recently, all across Europe everyone pronounced Latin according to their own language’s pronunciation. If /c/ is pronounced with a soft [s], that’s how they’d say it, or if it’s pronounced with a hard [k], etc. That’s how you get English Caesar versus German Kaiser for example. Or they may otherwise adjust the terms. In England they say Spain and in España they say Inglaterra. And this went so far as to also include individual people’s names. When you read European history in English, the names of rulers, for example, are usually given in their English equivalents: Francis, not Franz or Francisco; Joan, not Jeanne or Giovanna.

Lately (like within the past century-ish), the movement has gradually turned towards verbatim (or as close as possible) reproduction of the foreign people’s terminology for the names of places, peoples, and individual persons. This is inseparable from larger issues of anti-colonization; new principles of equity of peoples, nations, and states; and respect for self-determination.

This might seem like a bit of detour from the topic but I don’t think it is, because to a large extent what this is about is localization vs preservation. These two principles are not precisely opposites but they can often be considered on a scale. And the individual translator’s choices are never made in a vacuum.

Another angle is preservation of foreign terms verbatim is often, though I don’t think usually intentionally, a kind of class or insider signifier. This is more clearly seen historically in how middle and upper classes will use terms from the most prestigious language to show their class and education. In England this was French. Across the world nowadays, it is English.

Japanese has a similar prestige in the Japanese pop culture subculture. I have previously spoken approvingly of transliterating Japanese honorifics, so I’m not by any means opposed to transliteration, but I think it’s important to be aware of what the full implications of using a transliteration “just because you can” are. Do I really think a transliteration does a better job of communicating, or am I just trying to show off that I know the source term, or am I even obfuscating the meaning to keep it understandable only by those who are already in the subculture? (Did I use the relatively obscure word ‘obfuscate’ just now because it’s the best verb for the meaning I want to express, or because I’m obnoxious? Baby it’s a two for one deal.)

(Tangent: meme references can also be seen as a kind of insider signifier in this sense. If I say “using transliteration is all according to keikaku,” and you recognize the reference, and you get that teeny warm glow of amusement, where does that little positive feeling come from? Of course, part of the amusement is remembering the absurdity of the original incident, but there is also a pleasure in being affirmed as in the loop.)

Okay, anyone still with me? Back to Naruto.

So, in modern prevailing culture, most proper nouns from foreign sources are transliterated (romanized). A problem arises when the literal meaning of a foreign word that is conventionally transliterated is thematically or narratively important.

Use of parenthetical glosses and translator’s notes is ancient and very common, from “Golgotha, or the place of the skull” in the Bible to “that too is my nindo, my ninja way” in the official Naruto anime dub.

Another important principle in translating that frequently sways me as a translator of Chinese to English is this: If it doesn’t sound stupid in the source language, it should not sound stupid in the target language.

For example: English, culturally/historically, while not absolutely excluding literal objects in place and people names, is frequently biased against it. Names in English that are like Rose and Pearl Harbor are the exception, or in some cases a novelty, such as the very recent popularity of first names like Phoenix, Cannon, or Rebel. It’s worth pointing out also that in many cases these kinds of names are popularly perceived as downmarket (even trashy) or amusing. Lists of funny place names are often things like Bird-in-Hand, Pennsylvania; Possum Grape, Arkansas; and Big Arm, Montana. This is the case even though many “respectable” names have meanings far more ridiculous than these. No one will laugh if you say your name is Philip; people will laugh if you introduce yourself as Horse Lover. Peter sounds much more respectable than Rock. Mary, Miriam, and Maria are all sweet girls names, even though the literal meaning was Bitter!

Naruto is particularly tricky in this regard because many of its original names do sound funny to native speakers but they don’t sound as weird as they do when translated literally. Uzumaki Naruto, for example, could potentially be selectively over-translated into “Whirlpool Whirlpool”, making him the Moon Moon of shounen heroes. At least Naruto is meant to sound funny in the original; Sarutobi Asuma sounds basically normal in Japanese, but True Tomorrow Monkey Jump sounds like word salad.

Then we get into connotations as well. If Neji were translated to Screw, for example, it would have an unfortunate sexual connotation in English that isn’t there, so that’s another factor that can push towards transliteration.

Now in Naruto translations, including official ones, sometimes use a mix of transliterations and translations for place and organization names. Konoha, the Leaf, the Hidden Leaf Village, and Konohagakure, the Village Hidden in the Leaves, these are all commonly used. Frequently the place is called by the transliteration Konoha whereas the organization is called the Leaf. ANBU Black Ops is another mix of transliteration and translation/gloss, and when it’s reduced to just ANBU, it feels right because it sounds like an acronym which culturally in English is how these kinds of organizations are usually known (eg MI5, SEALs, etc).

Choices in translation are as much about communicating the feel of the original as the meaning.

Anyway I’ve hit my time limit and I need to go to Costco now. I feel like I’ve barely scratched the surface of this topic. Translation is both art and science; it really is a social science, too. This is why machine translation will not replace human translation unless and until AI fully catches up with human sentience.

[kirinda-ondo]

Rant/tell me about Cobalt and why u love him so much??

Ok so this is probably going to get very long, and very, very cheesy, and I hope y’all are ready for this.

Cobalt is a very special character to me and is absolutely my favorite character of all time, from anything in the history of ever. It doesn’t matter what other fandom I’m hyperfixated on or what character I’m saying is my son at the moment, if you bring him up at any time, in any context I will be there.

So you’re probably wondering how I got here.

Once upon a time, it was 2009 and I was a young weeaboo, constantly absorbing everything anime or manga I could. I had just come out from the Astro Boy movie, and I immediately wanted to watch the source material. I’d already seen a bit of it on adult swim when they were running an Astro Boy marathon, but I had to go to bed at 11:30 then so I didn’t get to see much. So this time, I went to youtube and I found all the (dubbed) episodes of the 60s series. (Sadly you can’t find them all there anymore and it’s a crying shame).

I basically marathoned them, but over in the sidebar where the recommendations were, I kept seeing the thumbnail for part 2 or 3 (this was back when youtube only let you post 10 minute videos and you had to watch anime in 3 parts) of the episode “Brother Jetto.” You could plainly see him, and so it was clear this was supposed to be Astro’s brother. I thought it was neat that Astro even had a brother, as I’d only known about Uran before. I wanted to know more, but I promised myself I wouldn’t skip ahead. Though it was very tempting at times, I stuck to my guns and watched all 83 episodes up to that point.

However, it was not actually love at first sight. When I finally got to this episode 84, I wasn’t really impressed. “Wow, he’s kind of annoying, what’s the point?” I had thought like a fool, but I was still willing to accept him as part of the canon, as I figured I’d be seeing a lot more of him now that he had been introduced. After all, that’s what they did with Uran! But then…. that pretty much didn’t happen at all, which I thought was kind of weird. After all, why introduce a new sibling if he’s not going to show up again?

But then I got to the episode “A Deep, Deep Secret” about 6 episodes later, and I found myself a little relieved that he wasn’t completely canned. Upon watching that episode, I’d found that he’d started to grow on me a bit, but he still wasn’t my favorite. However, the trend of him being gone for several episodes only to show up once in a blue moon continued until I’d run out of episodes. I moved on to the 80s series next (and then the 2003 series) having learned that Cobalt had been replaced by Atlas as Astro’s brother. While I enjoyed those series (the 80s one a bit moreso than the 2003 one), I found myself kind of missing Astro’s dingus brother that had barely seemed to get a chance. After marathoning all the series (at the time), I started doing some googling and found out he had a slightly better run in the undubbed Japanese episodes (which was also how I discovered AB-O! Hi fandom!) and I’d learned a lot more about him. But the most important thing I’d learned was that I was in fact very emotionally invested in this character now and I was in deep.

Mind you at this time the undubbed Japanese episodes were nearly impossible to find without purchasing the complete DVD set and a player that could play them (on account of the fact that the set was region locked from western DVD players) so for years I sat wondering more about what those Japanese episodes were like, as the forums only had plot summaries with a handful of screencaps to go off of. Nowadays you can watch all the undubbed (and sadly unsubbed) episodes here but 13 year old me did not have the knowledge to do foreign language googling at the time.

But still, my Cobalt-loving heart wanted more, so I scoured the English speaking internet for whatever I could find, official or fanmade. Official content was virtually nonexistent, and the amount of fanmade content, I could count on one hand. The general fan consensus at the time seemed to be “Who the hell is Cobalt” or “Eh, whatever,” which was a far cry from how it is now. But being horribly deprived back then, I did the only thing I could: I combed through the dub for every episode he was in, coming up with a whopping total of…..four (well technically five but in that one he’s literally only in the last five seconds with no animation or lines), and I watched them religiously. I could pretty much quote Cobalt’s debut episode by heart. (For the record I can no longer do this to the extent I used to, but should the opportunity arise, I can still quote large chunks of it).

As I did this and learned more about him in my desperate googling, I started developing jokes for what would become my first silly comics, for which I am known in this fandom for. The art and writing for these was….. painful, to say the least, so I don’t even like to think about it, but as I’d already had a decently sized following from drawing silly (read: bad) Sonic comics, they caught on decently well, and I’d even managed to drag my friend and son down with me into Cobalt Hell™. Together, we made a group for Cobalt fans on deviantart (which is still up, but I no longer run it, as I deactivated the account that modded it without transferring ownership, so now it’s likely a wild west hellscape that I’m a little scared to look at).

This seemed to help do the trick though, as Cobalt fans were slowly coming out of the woodwork and appreciating this good boy. On and off I’d spread my yelling about Cobalt (and my silly drawings) to different platforms like the Astro Boy forums and tumblr, and even as I got into different things, after awhile, things kinda grew without me. Now I’m not gonna be out here claiming I built this city myself with my own two hands, as a lot of people got dragged into this hell of their own accord, but I do like to think my, umm….passion at least helped generate some interest, and I can’t help but be proud of how far this fandom has come from “Who the hell is Cobalt” to “Look at this good boy, I love him” and literally all the other Cobalt fans I’ve met have been the coolest people (in general, not just because of their good taste).

I think what really changed my life though was when AprilSeven, a mod on the Astro Boy forum and also probably the original Cobalt fan, as she’d seen the 60s version back when it was originally airing, finally got a hold of the undubbed Japanese episodes, and graciously allowed me and a few of the other big-name Cobalt fans get in on that action, and boy howdy, the screenshots and plot summaries really did not do these episodes justice (at least in terms of Cobalt content). My understanding of him as a character expanded like tenfold, and my appreciation of him expanded even more than that.

…Which brings me into a nice segue in which I shift more into just exactly why I like Cobalt so much. Yes, there’s more. I warned y'all, this was gonna be a Pandora’s Box that could not be closed once it was opened.

I honestly just find him a joy to watch. A lot of what made him grow on me was just how funny he is. I’m a sucker for comic relief characters in general, and he has a personality that lends itself to comedy. In the anime version, he’s literally introduced right out the gate as being kind of a dingus. He’s naive, he’s way too trusting of obviously suspicious people, he’s easily confused, he’s easily distracted, he’s a klutz, and he just… regularly destroys the laws of physics and/or the fourth wall just because. Sometimes he also gets weird ideas in his head to do things that could have been done a completely different, easier way and weirdly enough, it actually kind of winds up working? It’s so fun to watch him approach problems because he’s just… so far out there sometimes.

But beyond being absolutely weird and hilarious, he’s just a really sweet kid. He doesn’t like to fight, he wants to make friends with everyone and everything, he will drop literally anything he’s doing, no matter how important it is, to help someone in need, he’s good with babies and small children and puppies (sometimes), he would fight (and sacrifice himself) for his family, and just means well even if he tends to bungle things up and make them worse sometimes. Honestly, and this is gonna sound dumb, but he helped me be a better person. I used to be an absolute asshole when I was younger, but once I’d gotten into Cobalt Hell™, I was like “I wanna be that sweet and good (but with a better sense of stranger danger)” and I made that effort and did that shit.

That being said though, he’s not perfect, and I wouldn’t want him to be. His flaws, though they kind of give him the short end of the stick in life, are a lot of why I find him so endearing. All the naivety and confusion and general lack of coordination I mentioned before aside, he’s honestly just really relatable. He’ll say jokes so bad that Uran wants to punch him, he’ll opt out of the plot because he doesn’t want to get out of bed, he’ll fight with his siblings over silly petty things, he’ll get frustrated if he tries something and it doesn’t go his way, he’ll absolutely partake in his siblings’ mischief (if not start it sometimes), and just so much more. He just feels like a kid you would know (or maybe a kid that you were at one point) and I really appreciate that about him.

Unfortunately, the canon was not kind to Cobalt, and I think a lot of that comes from Osamu Tezuka just… not knowing what to do with him after making him? Like in the manga, he was just kind of created as a really rushed contingency plan because they thought Astro was missing. Sure, he was taken in as part of the family afterward, but not many appearances later, he was killed off in a firey explosion… Until Tezuka decided to change his mind and let him live in the end. His grave’s still there though. He gets to see it. I know it’s a framing device to explain the circumstances of Cobalt’s retconned death but it’s kind of fucked up to let a boy see his own grave..

Even being brought back, Cobalt didn’t get to do very much. He’d get some good scenes with Uran, but a lot of the time, he was sort of just relegated to filling up space in the background, provided he actually survived til the end of the chapter. When he wasn’t getting forgotten by the plot and thusly zapped out of existence, he would wind up sacrificing himself in some way that wouldn’t allow him to continue to take part in the plot anymore (be it parts, energy, etc.) The most painfully egregious example of this is in the chapter “Youth Gas.” Astro and Cobalt are convinced to fight each other to the “death.” They’re not really dead, but Ochanomizu says they are and can’t be repaired. At first, there’s mourning for “two of the world’s greatest robots,” but then we see a funeral service in which only Astro’s body is shown and his parents are only mourning him, completely forgetting Cobalt exists. He’s never seen again for the rest of the chapter. Now I would assume this is just a writing mistake, but it really does make it look like Cobalt’s own parents wouldn’t even bat an eye if he died, so there’s that.

The anime isn’t quite as horrible, and it is kind enough to give Cobalt a more prominent role once he finally shows up (even getting a handful of focus episodes!), but he doesn’t go unscathed either. In this version, he has the misfortune of being created by Dr. Umataro “Father of the Year” Tenma before Astro was made and was scrapped because, to quote dub!Ochan, “his electronic brain wasn’t as perfect as Dr. [Tenma] wanted.” (read: he thought Cobalt was a dumbass). Cobalt is eventually found and brought into the family, but because he still winds up not being relevant to the plot a lot of the time, he is once again zapped out of the existence and looks like a victim of child neglect. As a result, he gets left out of family vacations and holidays, even in favor of Chi-tan, who is usually even higher on the scale of irrelevant Astro Boy characters. Unlike Astro, Cobalt doesn’t have any consistent friends to even remotely justify what he could possibly be doing offscreen by himself, so it just kind of implies a very sad and lonely existence in-universe.

And of course, the final, meta blow that literally every fan of Cobalt is still despairing about to this day: basically being yeeted out of the canon. After the 60s series, he disappeared off the face of the earth until 2015 when some lovely soul decided to bring him back for Peeping Life TV: Season 1?? (The question marks are part of the title). He’d be referenced again a couple years later in Atom: The Beginning, and will be here for the game Eshigami no Kizuna sometime in 2019 as a… moe anime girl. That’s a little weird, but I’m hoping these sorts of weird appearances will mean a trend toward putting him back in the canon (and hopefully being treated better).

It just hurts my heart to see such a good character get treated like this by canon. He deserves way better and it just seems really clear to me that Tezuka didn’t really know what to do with him. I feel like he has a lot of potential as a character, though. Regardless of what origin you pick for him, Cobalt is essentially existing as a worse version of Astro. I feel like you could have some good character development regarding how he would feel about himself in relation to Astro in sort of a parallel to how Astro might feel about himself in relation to Tobio, the person he was based off of. You could go some neat places with these sort of questions about identity and expectations, I think. Or if you want to just do something funny because your character arcs are getting too real now, you can just let Cobalt do some silly shit. He’s a versatile character!

I’ve done all this rambling and now I’m not really sure how to wrap all this up, so umm

Cobalt is a good boy and deserves better, please hire me Tezuka Productions, and thank you for coming to my TED Talk

[anx1oustig3r]

okay here’s the fanfic i’ve been working on. i re dubbed it “Serial Killers in the Snow” bc i think im funny

it’s going under a read more so it doesn’t take up space

 The air was bitter, icy and it stung the skin of anyone unfortunate enough to be walking through the frost covered streets of Gloomywood, and that unfortunate case was a tall, thin man only protected by a light coat and scarf. He was grumbling to himself as he carefully trudged along the ice, occasionally slipping and swearing out loud to no one in particular. He considered it lucky that the streets were empty.  

 The man walked up to an enormous building that cast a dark shadow over the surrounding area. Shivering, he pushed a button on the side, to which a sharp voice responded.

"Yeah? Who is it?"

"Sylvia, it's me." The man replied through grit teeth. The voice instantly perked up.

"Oh! Hi Ernie! I'll be down now, just give me two seconds!" 

 Ernest impatiently ran his hand through his black hair, brushing part of it to one side out of his eyes. He flinched as he felt the scar that ran across his head, an instinctive reaction he never unlearned as a child. He quickly brought his hand back to his side and stared in the window to the reception. Ernest had never actually been inside of Scarlett Tower before, something which Sylvia had reprimanded her security staff for. It was empty, save for two pedestals that held two large dolls.  

His head tilted upwards slightly as he saw Sylvia appear from the elevator. He caught himself smirking as he studied her outfit. She was dressed in a light pink thick jacket with darker pink gloves and snow pants to match. A little purple hat fit snugly on her head. The entire getup made her look rather silly. Ernest suppressed a chuckle as she opened the door. After all, who was he to judge? At least she was dressed appropriately.

"Jesus Ernie" Sylvia began, looking him up and down, 

"Are you not freezing?" Ernest shrugged.

"I'll warm up when we start walking" he waved his hand as he turned to walk down the steps. Sylvia grabbed his arm.

"I have a spare jacket if you want it? I can't let you walk around like that!" she persisted. 

"It's fine" he assured her, gesturing toward the stairs, 

"Come on, we don't want to be late. You know how Lewis gets."

Sylvia pouted for a moment, but her irritation quickly faded as Ernest held out his arm for her to link with.  

 The two had been walking for a while, occasionally sliding on the icy path. It frustrated Ernest to no end, but Sylvia found it fun and, it turn, it made the experience more bearable for the doctor. As they walked she rambled on about the happenings in Scarlett Tower: Albert still pestering her over finances, Elisa's fling with one of the security guards along with the following drama, and how the receptionist almost caught on to what was inside the crates she had delivered. Her ramblings were cut off, however, as the two noticed familiar figures approaching. 

"Doug! Paul" Sylvia called out as the two figures drew closer. Ernest raised a brow as they stopped in front of them. 

"Well look who it is! Gloomywood's favourite power couple!" Paul jested as he eyed the two of them while adjusting his ear muffs, his trademark sleazy grin plastered across his face. Beside him, Doug stood firmly with his arms crossed. Ernest felt tense as he looked at him. He had no reason to be unnerved by the sergeant, but Doug had a natural glare that could burn your skin if he looked at you for too long. Sylvia didn't seem bothered, however.

"You're damn right!" she exclaimed, lifting her head in pride, 

"We're basically royalty!" Paul laughed in response,

"You keep telling yourself that, sweetheart". Sylvia gave him a playful shove.

"You guys are walking together?" Ernest finally spoke up, 

"Paul, don't you live on the other side of town?"The two froze for a second before Doug took a step forward.

"Yeah but, uh, after the fight yesterday I told him he could stay at the Scrapyards since it was closer and he wouldn't have to make the trip across town at 3am." he explained, oddly avoiding eye contact. Ernest nodded, but beside him Sylvia snorted,

"Yesterday?" she questioned with a hint of amusement in her voice,

 "But, don't you host the fights on Fridays?". Doug's eye twitched as he turned to face her.

"I cancelled the fight for tonight because of the weather, I held it yesterday" he said, sternly. Sylvia turned to face Paul.

"Where did you even sleep?" she asked, tilting her head.

"On the floor" Paul replied almost too quickly, brushing the fur collar of his trench coat. His response earned him a sharp jab on the shoulder from Doug. He jerked his head toward him and curled his lip. 

"Wow, Doug" Sylvia laughed as Doug pushed past her, 

"You're so good to your guests". 

 Ernest jumped as Doug tugged on his shoulder, beckoning him to walk beside him as Sylvia and Paul trailed behind. 

"Sure is bitter cold today, huh Ernie?" Doug noted, clearly looking to change the subject.

"It's certainly biting." Ernest replied, cringing slightly. He actually hated being called 'Ernie', he only let Sylvia away with it since she was his girlfriend, but the others had started calling him by that nickname as a joke.

"You picked a great getup for this kinda weather." The sergeant remarked. Ernest looked him up and down. 

"This jacket may be light, but at least it's not camouflage patterned" he snorted at the winter gear Doug had chosen to wear. A set of camouflaged military gear complete with a cap that he had from his time in the Commandos. If it wasn't for his steel jaws and fiery glare he would look completely ridiculous. Doug gave a harsh chuckle.

"Well if we're ambushed, I'll be the one laughing while I stay fully invisible to the enemy". 

 The group eventually reached a large, shabby house with multiple garbage bags piled out the front. The others recoiled in disgust at the horrid stench while Ernest causally walked up to the door. It was no better at the hospital. He rang the bell and took a step back. The door opened and they were greeted by a small old woman.

"Hello" Ernest nodded formally, "Is Lewis here?" 

The woman's face softened as she began to recognise the group.

"Yeah, he's in the back. Come in, I'll go get him for you" she beckoned them in as she walked to the kitchen. They sat down at the kitchen table and Ernest began to study the room. During previous visits to the Normann household, he never got the chance to really take in the details of the front rooms, as anyone who Lewis considered a friend would be quickly ushered to the larger dining room in the back. He eyed the ominously pleasant photos on the wall, pictures of the different family members doing seemingly normal activities. He smiled slightly. The photos were clearly to throw off the police should they come examining the house.

"Ernie, what do you think?" The sound of Paul's voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

"Excuse me?" he shook his head slightly in an attempt to wake himself up. The show host tutted and leaned forward. 

"We're talking about flipping coins" he said, firmly, 

"Sylvia thinks if you flip a coin three times the probability of getting a heads somehow changes, could you tell her that's not true in any way". Ernest looked over at his girlfriend and raised a brow. 

"The probability of 'heads heads heads' is lower than the others though. I-" 

"Oh thank god!" 

 As Sylvia tried to explain her argument, she was cut off by the hidden door opening and Doug's sigh of relief. Lewis stepped into the kitchen and removed the bloodied pig mask from his face. He looked as scruffy as ever, his long black hair draped unkemptly over his shoulders.

"Okay, Lewis I need your opinion on something" Paul began. Doug slammed his fist down on the table.

"Don't get him involved for the love of all things holy!" he growled, 

"It'll just end with this house on fire!" An awkward silence fell over them for a moment before Ernest turned to face Lewis.

"How has your morning been? Looks like you were up early" he asked. Lewis nodded,

"Yeah I was up at four. Ma told me to take a break today but I still wanted to get a bit of work done before you guys showed up, y'know?" 

 Ernest studied the blood that caked Lewis' hands and face. He noticed a handprint that smeared across his cheek.

"I see you had another fighter back there" he commented. The rest of the group winced.

"Ugh, those are the worst" Sylvia chimed in.

"Yeah" Paul agreed, "Doug once sent us up a scrappy little brat who bit the ever loving hell out of me when I tried to bring him into the arena, and no one else bothered to give me a hand because they were too busy laughing at me. It sucked".

"And I apologised for that" Doug grumbled. Lewis shrugged.

"It couldda been worse. The brat only decided she wanted to fight back after I took her leg". Another silence fell over the group before Sylvia spoke up,

"Any idea when Tonio said he'd be here?" she asked. 

"No, but if it ain't soon I'm gonna kick his ass when he does show up" Lewis mumbled in irritation. As if on queue, the doorbell rang and Lewis nearly leapt out of his seat as he left to answer the door. Ernest looked behind him as the front door opened to reveal a lanky man in a thick jacket with a scarf draped loosely around his neck, however what stood out to everyone was the messy face paint he was wearing.

"There ya are Tonio!" Ernest heard Lewis greet the clown impatiently,

"Any later and I wouldda chopped yer arm off!" Antonio laughed,

"Is that what happened to you?" Ernest quickly turned back around as he heard Lewis grumble to himself and walk upstairs. Antonio sauntered into the kitchen while Sylvia glared at him harshly. Ernest quietly hoped that they wouldn't start arguing about money. Everyone had gotten sick of listening to them fight about it.

"Took you long enough, Antonio!" Sylvia huffed. Ernest inhaled sharply. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Doug pushing his chair back and Paul taking his camera out of his coat pocket. The clown sat down but he simply grinned, they could all feel the impending sarcasm radiating from him. 

 The tension was broken as Lewis came back into the kitchen, throwing on his own winter jacket and a black hat. He didn't need to tell them they were leaving, as the group all stood up and manoeuvred toward the front door. 

"Alright, Ma, I'll be back later" Lewis called behind him as he walked out of the house and shut the door. Ernest shuddered from the cold and looked around. It had begun to snow while they were in the house. As Sylvia pressed close to him, he looked over at Lewis who was staring him down.

"Are you gonna be warm enough in that?" he tilted his head. Ernest gave a heavy sigh.

"He's been really stubborn about this all day," Sylvia chimed, 

"I offered him one of my spare jackets but he said he was fine catching a cold". She smiled up at him playfully and Ernest gave a sarcastic laugh in response,

"At least if I catch a cold that'll be an excuse for you to come and take care of me" he jested. 

"Can we at least pick somewhere to go before you guys start climbing all over each other?" Antonio piped up from the gate,

"As content as I am for you, I don't wanna be left standing around". Ernest felt his face go hot for a moment, but it was Antonio so it didn't bother him too much.

"What about the old sawmill?" Paul suggested, "People leave that place well alone, even in good weather." Doug furrowed his brow.

"And how do you know that?" he questioned. Paul shifted awkwardly.

"I like to...uh...take my projector up there...I can't really watch my films in my apartment now, can I? I'd be caught in no time!" Ernest felt Sylvia let go of his arm.

"The saw mill is way too far from here" she protested, "If we wanna go somewhere forest-y why not go to Westwood?" Doug stepped forward,

"Uh, I was looking forward to getting AWAY from my army" he noted, "Plus, hanging around in the forest around here is a really bad idea. You don't wanna meet the Wendigo!" Beside him, Paul shuddered. Ernest rolled his eyes,

"Wendigos are not real, Doug, they're just a legend!" He jumped as Paul jabbed his shoulder.

"I have seen this thing, Ernie, and it looks and acts like a god damn Wendigo!" his voice was wavering, "But, that's not the point. What Doug's trying to say is that Westwood is out of bounds and I fully support that notion." 

 Ernest gave a frustrated huff and linked him arm back with Sylvia's. The group stood in thought for a moment until Antonio spoke up,

"If we wanna go hide in the woods then, I guess, Silent Mounts is the only option. We can cut through Gloomyditch" he suggested. The rest of the group nodded, no one else had any better ideas. Antonio took the lead with Lewis trying to catch up to his side. Paul and Doug lingered at the back, leaving Ernest and Sylvia to take up the middle.

"A very formal formation" Ernest noted, jokingly. Sylvia glanced over her shoulder before turning back to him with a sly grin,

"Ah, there's reasons for everything" she pressed closer to his side. 

 The snowfall had become heavier by the time they reached Silent Mounts. Trudging through the thickening snow had worn them all out. Doug swept piles of snow from the benches so they could sit down. Ernest shivered as the iciness immediately cut through his thin clothes.

"Guys I bet you 20 bucks Ernie ends up with hypothermia at the end of the day" Paul laughed. 

"You are so on!" Antonio grinned, casting a challenging glance at Ernest, who could only continue to shiver.

"Ernie, if you want you can take my coat" Doug offered,"I've got a load of thermal gear on under this, so I can live without it for a few hours." 

"I'm fine" Ernest rejected, his teeth chattering. Sylvia huffed beside him,

"For god's sake, take the jacket, Ernie!" she scolded,"You need it! And I'm not gonna stop telling you to take it until you take it!"

"Alright, fine!" He grumbled as he walked over to Doug, who took the jacket off and handed it to him. As he put it on he steadily stopped shivering.

"Better?" Doug asked. Ernest nodded, relishing in the heat from the jacket,

"So much better...thank you." Doug laughed as he went to sit back down,

"In the future, if someone offers you a coat or something like that, don't be a stubborn bitch about it, yeah?" Ernest nodded as Sylvia proceeded to wrap her arms around him. 

"Dammit, Doug" he heard Paul snap, "I had 20 bucks riding on this, come on!"

"I'll give you 30 later if you stop complaining." Doug cut him off. Paul went quiet for a moment before mumbling an agreement.

  The sound of crunching snow caught Ernest's attention. He turned to see Antonio slowly pacing around. Shrugging, he turned back to face Lewis.

"It's so peaceful up here" he sighed, "The distant sounds of the city are all muffled by the heavy snow. I love it".

"Yeah" Lewis closed his eyes, "I love workin' in the shop 'n all, but it's good to get away from all the noise sometimes."

"Tell me about it" Sylvia agreed, "I couldn't wait to get out of that building today. There's just so much drama happening and I can't deal." Lewis sat up in interest,

"Drama? Ya mind spillin' some of that?" he asked with a smirk.

"Well..." Sylvia began. As she went on the same rant to Lewis as she did earlier, Ernest's attention drifted over to the other end of the bench. Paul was holding his camera at his side, talking to Doug who remained facing forward. Suddenly, Antonio reared up behind them with a massive pile of snow in his arms. Before Ernest could warn them, he crashed it down on Doug who leapt up with a shriek. Paul fell back on the bench, screaming from laughter.

"Please tell me you got that on tape!" Antonio laughed frantically. Paul pulled himself upright, hyperventilating.

"I think so! I had the lens aimed at his head the whole time!"

"You've gotta be KIDDING ME!" Doug roared as he brushed the snow from the back of his neck, "It's down my fuckin' shirt!" Paul was still in hysterics,

"Shouldn't have taken off your jacket the-" He suddenly yelped as Doug picked him up and began to walk towards a large pile of snow. Paul became frantic.

"Doug! No! I swear if you throw me in there I won-" He was cut off by his own screech as Doug chucked him into the snow pile, laughing maniacally. Sylvia and Lewis had lost track of their own conversation the second they heard Paul yelp. 

"That looks...fun" Lewis mumbled, standing up from the bench. Suddenly, he was pelted in the face with a snowball, courtesy of Antonio.

"You son of a bitch!" he growled, packing a snowball of his own and lobbing it in the clown's direction. The snowball caught Antonio's arm, causing him to drop the second snowball he had.

"Hey! I wanna fight Tonio too!" Sylvia jumped up and began rapid making snowballs.  Ernest looked back over at the snow pile. Doug was extending a hand out to Paul to help him up. As Paul grabbed his hand, he lurched forward, wrapping his arms around Doug's neck, and pulled him down into the snow pile.

"How's that feel, bitch!" Paul jeered as he took a handul of snow and smashed it in Doug's face. 

"You're dead meat, Winnie!" Doug growled playfully. As Paul scrambled out of the snow pile he was smacked in the face by a snowball from Lewis. Before Lewis could even register what happened, Doug hurled a snowball directly at back at him.

"I'm the only one who's allowed to kill him, Lewis!" he called out. Ernest chuckled to himself as he watched his friends mess around in the snow. It brought him back to the first Winter in the orphanage. 

 Krach had locked them outside as some kind of endurance test. The only way they were able to cope was to just play in the snow. They didn't think the professor was watching them, but he was, as they were never locked out in the snow again. Since that day, moments like this had become rare for them. While they met up frequently, it was never to mess around like this.

"Ernie! Grab a snowball! It's three against two and we need your help!" Sylvia's shout snapped him out of his thoughts. Her and Lewis were getting bombarded with snowballs from Doug, Paul and Antonio. With a playful grin he grabbed as much snow as he could. and began throwing them wildly at the others.

  Lewis was right, it was good to get away from the noise and chaos of the lives they lived, and while things would return to their hectic states not long afterwords, it felt good to live in this moment. Because for a moment, they felt like kids again. Things felt okay in the world.

[tigerlover16-analysis]

Dragon Ball Super: Episode 7 Review

Welp, here we are at episode 7. The moment where the fun slice of life fluff stops, and things start to get more serious (In theory. Whis seems determined to keep things from getting too serious).

Following immediately on from the last episode, the episode starts with Vegeta making a desperate attempt to reason with Beerus following his little scuffle with Majin Buu. Unfortunately, Beerus isn't having it and decides he might as well blow up the earth, to which the various Z fighters make several attempts to stop him, all in vain as one by one earth's champions crumble under his awesome might.

And I just made the episode sound more epic than it is, didn't I?

Yeah, to be honest this is another fairly lightweight episode in terms of plot.

Which probably comes from the fact that it's basically extending what was hardly five minutes of the movie. Not that it's bad, but honestly it's not particularly great either, it's mostly just showing off more of Beerus's strength and building up tension for Goku's inevitable arrival and the main confrontation down the line. In terms of the story content, there's not a ton to specifically comment on, but it's mostly alright.

Characterisations are largely on point, and the episode mostly flows okay though drags a little in the middle. The moments with Whis enjoying some of the Chef's dishes in particular feel like they try a bit too hard to ease the tension and just make things feel slightly tonally inconsistent for example, though it's not too overdone.

There's some entertaining moments and a few good tidbits of characterisation. Yamcha chiming in and promising to protect Marron so that Krillin could get involved in the action was a nice little detail, and Beerus continues to be suitably intimidating. And I like how Buu just keeps getting back up and trying to fight Beerus several times throughout the episode despite how much Beerus slaps him around. Just wish this wasn't the characters biggest contribution until probably the last arc... sigh. More on that another day.

In general it's mostly just fine. There's nothing especially bad, not a lot that's great, it's mostly just competent despite a few issues. But there are a few of them that I feel are the things most worth talking about.

For starters, while for the most part I think the writing was mostly competent and did the best it could with such little content to adapt, there's a few moments that do feel needlessly dragged out. I already brought up the moments with Whis, but the bit with Gotenks trying to fight Beerus, while it is short, compared to the movie it feels less funny and effective. In the movie when Gotenks got all cocky and challenged Beerus, he just quickly got grabbed from behind and spanked by the guy, being beaten in seconds.

That was funny and, as someone who's in the camp that finds Gotenks kind of annoying, it was pretty cathartic I won't lie. In this episode though, after his bragging we instead get a few seconds of looped punches before Beerus grabs hold of Gotenks' finger, we get a bit of an argument and Beerus instead slaps his arm until it starts bulging red. It's... less amusing, honestly, and the shouting gets a little more annoying than amusing (Though Beerus's shifting expressions as he's speculating on how Pudding might taste are priceless).

Thankfully most of the other characters involvement in the scuffle with Beerus made the transition more smoothly, more limited animation aside. For example, while I miss the more creative and better animated ways Beerus struck out Piccolo, Android 18 and Tien in the movie, I do like how he basically ends up just pushing them back and knocking the wind out of them all just by releasing a small portion of his Ki. In a way that and his effortlessly dodging their rapid fire attacks is even more effective at selling just how much of a threat Beerus is.

Which shows that corner cutting needn't always be a bad thing, I guess.

On that note though, the production values are a mixed bag. Natoshi Shida's storyboarding to start off with is pretty fantastic and he does a decent job framing much of the episode, though the actual animation involved is mediocre and limited at best. A few moments do look a little awkward too, Beerus smacking Gohan with Buu's unconscious body for example lacks any real impact.

To be fair though, this is only two episodes apart from episode 5, and while there is action here it's not a particularly important episode either, being mostly just more set up. So I feel it's kind of excusable that the episodes visuals are largely unremarkable. At the very least it doesn't look as blatantly unfinished and awkward as episode 5 did.

The episodes direction apart from the storyboards felt lacking though. The music placement in particular was hit or miss. I think the track that played over the opening of the episode served the tension the scene required alright for example, but there wasn't a lot to comment on other than how it's kind of ironic that a theme titled "Omen of Victory" played over the part where Goten and Trunks fuse into Gotenks, and almost immediately he starts losing to Beerus.

Really, the most notable scene worth talking about comes at the very end. You know the one, it's probably one of the most remembered and talked about scenes from the movie, specifically among Vegebul shippers. The famous "My Bulma" moment adapted into Super, as Bulma angrily confronts Beerus for ruining her party, only to have the petty God slap her away. The sight of seeing his beloved wife assaulted strikes a nerve within the saiyan prince, as in his rage Vegeta draws out every last ounce of power he has and prepares to strike back at Lord Beerus...

... And dear LORD, was it hilarious in the subs.

Seriously, this scene is actually a contender for funniest moment in the last few episodes due to just how over the top it was, especially compared to the film. In the Battle of Gods movie, Beerus slapping her happened very fast, and Vegeta's rage burst and him attacking Beerus only took a few seconds. But here?

Everything from Bulma trotting over to slap Beerus in the face and chew him out, to Vegeta powering up and threatening the villain is dragged out to somewhere between one and two minutes, complete with a drawn out moment where Beerus pulls back his arm and Vegeta begs Beerus not to do it, and a goofily over-animated freak out by Vegeta in response. To be fair it is decent animation, but in conjunction with everything else it just looks really silly.

Like, it's the opposite of the flashback from the previous episode with Beerus and King Vegeta. Whereas extending that out a little actually helped better flesh out Vegeta's reactions to Beerus in the present, the "My Bulma" moment getting similar treatment just makes it feel less effective compared to the movie and looking like the writers were trying too hard to give the fangirls more of what they wanted.

There is an upside, though. Because once again it's Funimation to the rescue, as Chris Sabat's performance as Vegeta during the scene... actually kind of salvages it. Seriously, the desperation and raw emotion in his voice as he's begging Beerus not to hurt Bulma actually does help add a bit of tension to the build up to the slap, and makes that moment feel a lot more effective. Vegeta's overblown reaction is still a bit silly, but honestly I think the scene in the dub does a much better job of selling what I think the writer and animators were originally going for.

It's still not as well handled as in the movie of course, but I can almost take it seriously now. And hey, if you're someone that's really into protective hubby Vegeta, then the scene is pretty likely to make you smile regardless. Even if part of that is over how over the top it was.

And, um... yeah. I suppose that's pretty much it. I dunno, the problem with a lot of this arc is that in many episodes, the actual story content doesn't offer a lot to talk about. Individual episodes are often pretty bare bones, looking forward there's a lot more episodes next saga and in the later ones especially that have a lot more content and characterisation that's worth discussing in detail. But in these early episodes, a lot of the time I just feel like I'm going to be saying "This is functionally okay, but not as good as how the movie did it... except for this part, which is done better for X reasons"

That's not to say there's nothing here to enjoy, actually watching the episode it flows pretty fine and can be mildly entertaining, but at this point and for the next few episodes really it's just going to be feeling like a more dragged out version of the movie's events, and a bit less entertaining as a result. There's good stuff coming up don't get me wrong, but I have a hard time talking about a lot of it. I'm honestly kind of looking forward to when the slice of life episodes start up again for that reason.

So, on that note then, this was a serviceable though mediocre episode that accomplishes what it needs to, but doesn't have a lot of lasting value on it's own, just as a functioning part of the larger story.

C- at best.

A bit of a half-hearted review and I’m sorry, but then again the episode isn’t really trying any harder than I am

[chibisquirt]

You have a very dense abo series delving into the not as often examined area of changing dynamic, but are there any abo stories that you've read and enjoyed? As someone who enjoys the trope for what it can be (happily gratuitous), I deeply appreciated your criticism of much of abo regarding abo conflating biological imperative for romance; the physical aspects that squick some pale in comparison to, first and foremost, a story about the characters.

Okay, first of all:  EEEEEEEE!!!!!!!  I am so, SO thrilled to get this ask!  Really, just beaming at my computer here.  Thank you so much!

Second of all:  A word of warning.  Some a/b/o stories--and one should always use the slashes, because the word without them is a slur--involve some very dark themes, and may not be for you!  I’m going to list off ones I enjoy, but I strongly, strongly suggest you read the tags, warnings, etc. to be sure you’re okay to read them.  (I’m going to include incomplete fics, for example, and I know a few people who avoid those.)

But yes, there are quite a number of fics I like!  Far more than will fit in this list!  Answered behind a cut for length.

Born from the Earth:  One of the two fics that got me into a/b/o.  I like this because... well, fuck, first of all it’s incredible!  But also, in addition to the gorgeous prose, it’s got a phenomenal grasp of both Steve and Tony.  It’s also one of the fics that got me into Stony, if that tells you anything.  Just wonderful characterization, including a Steve who really is as badass as I always want him to be.  The a/b/o in this fic is a very fleshed-out facet of the worldbuilding, and unfortunately, it’s not a very good world.  The OC’s are fucking phenomenal, too.  (I want Alex to find his way into every fic, ever, for one thing!)  But, uh... starting with this fic is also the reason I started with the warnings.  Because DAMN.  Holy shit.  

Still love it, though.  

Every time I mention BftE, I also mention @sabrecmc‘s wonderful Celestial Navigation in the next breath (which now has sequels!  And the Steve POV!  !!!!!!).  The two fics have a lot in common: both feature omega Tony, for one thing, and both mainly Stony.  Both have gorgeous worldbuilding, deeply thoughtful examinations of gender politics, lovely prose.  Both are long as hell.  (CN is not quite a long as the wordcount at that link would suggest; there’s a table of contents you should look at, because some of those chapters are other little fics.  It’s still about 200k, though.)  Both fics acknowledge that the standard constructions of a/b/o fics inherently lead to non- and dub-con; BftE embraces that in its depiction of STony, while CN stubbornly refuses to go there and holds out for complete and unhindered consent (which is so romantic!!!  *swoons*).  CN is not poly, and has almost no OC’s (unless you count Joshua), and is complete.  It’s also much less dark than BftE.  They’re both wonderful fics, though, and if you do read both, I suspect you’ll see instantly why I mentally group them.  

Then there are a bunch of fics that take the standard a/b/o conceits and invert them.  

The Sweet, Simple Things of Life by @rose-on-the-mountain is a thoughtful, delightful fic.  Again, solid prose, and a Steve I just adore.  The setting is beautiful, but the real reason I love it I can’t tell you without spoilers.  

The scene with the candy is--pun intended--fucking sweet.

why stop now, by @zekkass (who I can’t seem to tag?), is the second-gayest fic on this list, and it’s angry and uncompromising and I love it for all of those reasons.  

@theactualcluegirl‘s Changelings verse is both hot as hell and very thoughtful.  Poly... very poly.  The premise of this verse is that, post-Rebirth, Steve is all dynamics-- not just Alpha, as he appears.  That was a fascinating take on the subject, and it was one of the things which led me directly to writing Neither Independent etc.  Also, her treatment of Natasha is just achingly good throughout.  I desperately want the next fic in the series, and have mentally composed my own version of it more than once because I am a sad, needy fangirl who just wants to put her faves in a room and squish until they hug.

...I was going to use this as my transition into the Stucky side of my bookmarks, but there are very few Stucky a/b/o fics in my bookmarks, for some reason?   Possibly because I read a lot more Stucky at the beginning of my MCU fangirling, before I really started bookmarking things.  Hm...  The ones I bookmarked also tend to be much more traditionally a/b/o than not.  *shrugs, baffled by her own self*

One that is in there is Season of all things, by @claudia-flies (who I also can’t seem to tag, whatup Tumblr!).  It’s not particularly transgressive in any way, but it is a very sweet, straightforward, respect-and-consent-based romance, and I just really like it. 

Similarly, The Ties That Bind by Odsbodkins is fairly straightforward on the interpretation of the a/b/o, but thoughtful and character-driven in its plotting, and with gorgeous, atmospheric writing.  Also, A+ use of Steve’s religion.  

parts per million, by @legete, is the one I knew I had read and loved.  It was also one of the pieces that led to me doing Neither Independent Nor Serious, planting the seed of, “What does lead to someone developing as an Alpha, anyway?”.  Lovely and thoughtful.

It took me three tries to find you were a kindness when I was a stranger, because I was so sure I had bookmarked it.  (I have now!)  In fact, I had bookmarked another a/b/o fic by the same author... whoops!  Anyway, suzukiblu (who may also be @suzukiblu?) is brilliant, and so is this fic, wherein Bucky is absolutely convinced he is an omega.  (He is not.)  There is also a sequel, equally thoughtful and well-done.

(The other fic by suzukiblu which I have bookmarked is the hopelessly hysterical don’t wanna break your heart, wanna give your heart a break, which features Alpha Darcy and is thoroughly, completely, 100% charming.  I unhesitatingly recommend it!)

Everything a/b/o by fiasco_sauce is good, solid exemplars of the genre, mostly featuring a charming, largely-nonverbal alpha Bucky.  Consistently delightful, particularly from an id perspective--at least to me.  

Live in the Question, by @val-eris, is a non-trad a/b/o verse with great writing, interesting OC’s, and an in-your-face approach to reconfiguring gender norms.  I *really* can’t wait to see where it goes, because while the shipping is pretty straightforward, the route it takes is what’s going to be the most fascinating about it.  (Valeris also has... well, quite a few great non-a/b/o fics, but the one I’m thinking of has a really nice consideration of virginity in modern culture and what I choose to interpret as demi Steve and Darcy, and it’s just really sweet and I love it.  Good to check out!)

And, finally, both stucky and stony (and also sam/steve), there’s The Three-Steve Solution, by @galwednesday. This one had to be on this list; it’s one of my go-to a/b/o recs.  Short, cute, very funny, and yes, yes, yep, that is definitely Steve.  Three Steves, in fact!  A+ characterization is what I’m saying.

There are a ton more great fics out there, including some real id-rilers that I didn’t include because you seemed more interested in fics which subvert the trope, at least a little.  Suzukiblu has another like that, the id-riler, I mean; @amusewithaview’s fabulous fic To Find the Happiness I Seek put me over the edge of an a/b/o spree even though I was peeking out through my hands while I read it (heed the tags)...  there are lots of great ones out there!  And if you find one you really like, feel free to reblog this with your additions, too.