#which is why all religions ever are So Weird. WE’RE weird.

[bestworstcase]

How likely is it do you think that there are/have been Grimm-based cults? I can't imagine there's Never been Grimm cults, and I'm particularly interested in the idea of there being Grimm cults or even just organizations who Actually Understand the Grimm and safely live alongside them. I think it's such a fascinating idea, I'm very tempted to come up with a mysterious faction that respects/admires the Grimm (like how people did/do respect forces of nature in religion) and (mostly) safely lives alongside them. Any thoughts?

two obvious paths. whether the second is viable depends on how well you trust my basic reading of the grimm as sapient beings who reflect back what they’re given—dark mirrors—but the first is textually sound without any extrapolation required.

#1: the grimm as gods of war

these are the salient facts:

the grimm follow groups of bandits around to scavenge in the wake of their raids

criminals in mistral sometimes use captive grimm to execute members of rival gangs

grimm are more strongly drawn by violent anger and hatred than by sadness, fear, or other negative emotions.

it’s possible (per ‘before the dawn’) for one side of a conflict to "ally" with the grimm in battle if the other side is, er, tastier

ok. imagine you have a region where most of the people live in small nomadic groups—perhaps a steppe or a desert, their subsistence base is herding—with smatterings of fortified towns and villages around the edges of the region where there’s arable land enough to support a larger sedentary population. the nomadic groups can’t produce their own weapons/armor (mines, smelters, and forges aren’t portable), so they’ll need to either raid or trade with the towns for that. and conflicts between these nomadic groups over territory and other resources are inevitable.

how do the grimm figure in this region?

well a) the grimm are going to be following the nomadic groups around, with more warlike groups attracting more grimm, and b) grimm will fight alongside people against a common enemy if their "allies" are calmer or otherwise less appealing.

this is like… a perfect storm for the nomadic groups to start venerating "their" grimm as war-gods, in tandem with fostering warrior-cultures that prize tranquility or joy and mercy in battle; there is no honor in hatred or rage or taking pleasure in killing (our grimm turn against those warriors who lose themselves to bloodlust), so a good warrior must be calm, decisive, and swift, and never prolong a fight unnecessarily. but it’s also beneficial to make one’s enemies fearful and angry, or provoke them into hatred.

all it takes is one or two warriors who kept a cool head in battle noticing that the grimm ignored them to go after another warrior who went berserk and then interpreting this as a moral judgment. historically, we know grimm were thought to be the vengeful or corrupted spirits of animals, or animals possessed by demons; both are understandings that encourage this sort of thinking. these are animal spirits that cannot rest because someone killed them without giving due respect, and now they seek to punish those who commit such wrongs… so we’d better take care to treat our adversaries in battle and the animals we hunt with honor and mercy.

and oh, we should pay our respects to the grimm, too. perhaps make some offerings. they eat the corpses of the slain after a battle, so… a) we mustn’t be wasteful when we hunt, it isn’t respectful, and b) we should consider the grimm in our funeral customs.

this is a very basic. BASIC human impulse. humans will try to propitiate the fucking sky because we’re so good at pattern recognition and also anthropomorphizing things that we’ll find patterns and read meaning into the most random coincidences. take that and add it to the fact that it legitimately is possible to form alliances with grimm… fgrhjsv

under these conditions grimm-worship probably tends to look something like:

warrior cultures that prize moderation, calmness, efficiency, and clever mockery or intimidation of the enemy in battle,

funeral customs that ritualize feeding the dead to grimm, and/or ritual sacrifice of captured enemies,

grimm viewed as battlefield psychopomps and/or patron spirits of warriors, whether as a class or as individuals or both, and

incorporation of grimm-like designs or motifs into armor and clothing of warriors, to intimidate enemies.

with wide variation in the details and elaborations. the reason for this common set of foundational practices is that religion is practical. it’s not arbitrary. it isn’t pretend. prayer and ritual are things people do because it works, or it’s believed to work, and the right methods are figured out through trial and error long before they coagulate into tradition. so with something like grimm, whose behavior really can be meaningfully influenced, similar patterns will emerge across different cultures because whether a given practice does or doesn’t work is a) more than random chance or coincidence, and b) extremely easy to identify because if it doesn’t work the grimm will attack you.

& #2, the grimm as nature gods

these are my presuppositions, based on extrapolation from the text:

the grimm have a physiological need for aura, which they can get by siphoning; they eat their prey in order to extract aura from the remains.

grimm attraction to emotions is akin to our attraction to the aroma and taste of food; strong emotions herald deep auras or excite aura so it’s more "nutritious" for the grimm, so they hunt by following emotion.

because aura/soul separates from the body at death, siphoning aura from a living person is much more efficient than killing and eating; grimm will prefer to be fed aura by someone alive over hunting if possible.

because aura can be channeled outward through tools, clothing, etc, it can also be channeled into a repository and stored for a while; this seems to be how the grimm lures in arrowfell work.

grimm are intelligent, emotional, social creatures who can learn to recognize certain groups of people as 'safe' or as friends/allies, without salem.

grimm reflect back the emotional energy they’re given; they’re not "attracted" to anger or pain per se, they just mirror it. bristle and draw your weapon at a grimm, and the grimm will charge at you. remain calm and retreat slowly, and the grimm will keep its distance too.

if all of these presuppositions are true, you can propitiate grimm by saturating an object with aura and leaving that out for the grimm on the regular. i imagine that organic/living things that naturally have aura would work best for this purpose; sacrificing an animal or a portion of your harvest is intuitive, and if fervent religious belief alone isn’t enough to infuse something with aura, then priests or religious officials whose auras have been unlocked and trained will do the trick.

if aura-saturated offerings aren’t possible, then you’d need someone with aura training to channel aura to the grimm through, like, a stick, or bare-handed if they were brave enough or confident enough. this is a more uncomfortable option (like physically) but we have a canonical example of a character doing it: she found it disconcerting, but not painful, and it’s implied that the grimm didn’t attack her at any point during. so a) it probably doesn’t do any more harm than having one’s defensive aura break, and b) stopping the flow of aura to the grimm by moving away won’t provoke the grimm to attack.

as unpleasant the prospect might seem, if it clearly worked to reduce or eliminate grimm attacks on the community, people would do this. people would absolutely do this. the big hurdle lies in discovering that this is possible—like you’d need someone to willingly approach a grimm, lay a hand on it, and channel aura into it without knowing what will happen, and the kind of person who would even think to TRY that is very rare—but once it was known? religious belief motivates people do all sorts of unpleasant, uncomfortable, or even outright painful and harmful things to themselves. fasting. self-flagellation. hermitage.

like… waves hands. if it’s a known thing in a community that grimm won’t attack anyone if a few people go into the wilderness every morning to stand there and pour aura into grimm who pass by until they’re tapped out for the day, lots of people will be fully willing and able to do that. far more than are willing and able to become huntsmen: it’s not dangerous or difficult, it’s just going to tire you out on your assigned days. and if you have say, a village of a hundred people of whom ten are able to do it, you can rotate so no individual has to do it more often than thrice a month. NBD.

and if nothing else except the emotional mirroring thing is true, then you can… more or less propitiate grimm by doing whatever, because in this case what makes propitiation effective is community belief that it works: if you and everyone else around you believes that wearing pendants carved in the likeness of grimm and pouring a libation of wine outside the village gates to entreat the grimm for safe passage through the wilds is effective in making the grimm leave you alone, then no one’s going to panic or raise the alarm upon seeing a grimm wandering around in the barley field, and the grimm won’t freak out either.

if you believe that a grimm is a being that can be appeased and you cross paths with one in the woods, you’re going to do what you believe will keep you safe; for a huntsman, that’s "draw a weapon and attack," but for you that might be "hold up your grimm pendant and recite a prayer to politely wish it well and ask for its blessing in return," which—if the grimm just reflect your emotional energy back at you—will probably make the grimm pause and look at you for a moment before continuing on, which confirms and reinforces your belief that this is the correct way to deal with grimm. This Is How Religion Works.

so all that to say, as long as i’m correct about at least one of these presuppositions—the one with the strongest textual evidence, no less—then propitiating the grimm will reduce their aggression dramatically if not stop it altogether. and if that’s the case then i’d imagine grimm-worship is quite common and also varied in more remote regions where human-grimm encounters are frequent.

the shape of that worship will evolve out of how people in a given community figured out that you can do this with grimm. if one person tries a certain thing and it works, and then more people try the same thing and it works for them to, then that is going to become known as the Thing That Works and it will be gradually refined and elaborated on from generation to generation. and on the other side of the mountains they might be doing the same process but with a completely different thing that also worked the first time.

so you might have a village making huge ritual productions of preparing a feast for the grimm with a portion of the harvest, orchestrated by a coterie of priests who fill the offerings with aura… and in the hinterlands a few hundred miles away you might have a group of nomadic herders who leave the bones of every sheep they eat for the grimm and also have elaborate coming-of-age rituals where you go into the wilderness to prove yourself to the grimm by baring your soul… and up north on the coast you might have a whaling town where sailors pray to something like the leviathan or the feilong as a sea-god because their ancestors happened to stumble into a symbiotic relationship with a giant grimm that preys on whales and realized these little guys in boats make better hunting partners than they do snacks. etc.

basically if you accept a presupposition that the grimm aren’t "soulless evil monsters whose sole purpose is to kill humans" and consider them as beings that have some rhyme or reason as to when they’re aggressive and when they’re not, and the rhyme or reason is something humans/faunus could plausibly figure out how to accommodate and/or influence, there are a lot of ways to build a grimm cult. ’cause religion is at its core humans trying to understand the world so we can keep ourselves safe, healthy, and comfortable; worshipping grimm is just a cultural framework for a threat management program.

think about it in those terms, and take however you think grimm work and ask "what could people Do to lower the risk of grimm attacking them?" and "what might people Do that doesn’t really have an effect but seems like it maybe does?" and then start to elaborate from there with "okay, what stories do people tell to explain why they do these things and how they learned to do these things? how do they conceive of the grimm and their relationship to grimm? how does this shape the social and moral values of this religion?" etc.

praxis comes first, belief second. and the praxis develops through trial and error with the basic goal of "how can we make the grimm leave us alone?" so things that clearly don’t work will be discarded. (with ‘clearly don’t work’ meaning "we did this and grimm immediately attacked us"; people will tend to take "we did this and grimm didn’t attack us for two months" to mean "it worked! we should do it every other month!")

[punkpandapatrixk]

🏖Original Prototype ☆ Timeless Tarot Guidance

Elements/Signs in this reading are calibrated to all aenergetic placements. Feel free to read as many Elements/Signs as you feel called to at this point in your spiritual evolution♡

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☆[Your Own Standards of Beauty PAC]☆

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

As a complement to the previous PAC, it’s crazy we’ve got The Last Judgement at the bottom of the deck. That’s a double XX LOL Yeah, continuing the spirit of rebellion against little bitch behaviour, we’ve got so much Wands and Pentacles aenergy on this collective reading. It’s literally saying:

Be confident in being yourself, in all the amazingly weird, scandalous, hard-to-define way that you already are AND grab the money bags! Work on feeling secure in your body, comfortable in your skin, beautiful in your hair and makeup, and continue to work on your soulful passion projects which are the only things that truly matter~♥︎

As a complement to the previous PAC, for a lot of Asian kids, wherever they may have been born on the Planet, it may be quite harder to realise just how much you’re stopping yourself from SHINING in your authentic Light just because you want to appeal, appease, and please your little bitch elders/society. It’s hard for a lot of people already depending on what kind of custom they’re most familiar with, or if they grew up with abusive narcs and all that, but I’ve gathered that it’s generally just that much harder for Asian kids.

Why? Because the society or elders made Asian kids little bitches of an apologist and enabler! STOP THAT! What the fresh fuckity fuck does being ‘conservative’ mean when that jargon is mostly thrown around to justify racism, fascism, perversion(!!), misogyny, child abuse, and, what else? Dishonourable ‘traditions’ of all kinds—can’t cover all of those expectations in a single intro but…if being ‘Asian’ equals ‘an unwillingness to outgrow own bullshit’ then that white lady was right:

‘Not to be racist or anything but Asian people SUCK! Hahahhihihuhuheho…’

In the West, Asian losers get waaay too comfortable hiding behind ‘victims of racism because we’re minority’ narrative—even though in Asia we all know Asians are some of the MOST racist fucks on the face of Earth and they victimise their own people in the name of CULTURE—and they indulge in some such fake-noble-ass attitude whilst completely and utterly letting other (usually younger) Asian fucks get away with perpetuating cycles of abusive behaviours, customs, mindsets, and just…ways of doing things and being.

These types of people, don’t strike me as bothered enough to acknowledge what being divinely…Human…is all about. No wonder they trespass human rights all the time in all these small but pervasive ways. Pathetic, isn’t it? ♪~why the fuck you lyin’, why you always lyin’, mmm, o mai gut~♪

All I’m saying is, ultimately, Asian or no Asian (you don’t want me to start on the Punjabs OML), you as an individual get to choose how you want to grow and develop yourself, so as to become a vibrational match to your very own honest desires that are in alignment with your Highest Intended Good. You were born with a purpose, no? Your Soul knows that and it’s whispering your Soul’s Blueprint to you. Don’t ever, EVER, let your nationality, religion, custom and race, or any other insignificant configurations attached to your birth situations LIMIT your Soul Expression that is often more kind, more merciful, more empowered, more free and creative, and most important, more brave—because God only knows how much Humanity needs all of those qualities amplified in the world right now.

If this intro has found you, chances are, YOU. ARE. THE PROTOTYPE. of a new way of being, you freaking Superstar~☆ One day, all of Mankind are gonna be just like you. Namaste. Whoever you are, I honour your being here and being a whacko🍮

HACK: This 76 Year Old Has Better Beauty Hacks Than You Do by PS

deck-bottom: XX(!??!) The Last Judgement Rx, Red Physician (Galen of Pergamon), Priestess of Shine

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Original Prototype for 🐞Fire Signs – Silver Magus (Merlin)

3 of Swords, 9 of Cups, XV The Devil

You know the ‘problem’ a lot of people find with Fire Signs? Your fire. Duh? In a world of cowards who mould themselves into whatever society demands of them—for survival—how dare you be pretty, ballsy, smart and confident, and you’re not even an ass-kisser? That’s hard to stomach for most of these sheeples. Babe, it doesn’t even register in their slow-ass brains.

So then, they work really hard at convincing themselves that you’re a sneaky loser who’s plotting against them. Some others think that you think you’re better than them for not paying them too much attention. Well, you know what? You are better than them. Clearly you are better than those whose hearts are so rotten they fabricate shit like that about you.

In spite of outer appearances, you really do have a good heart, and topped with every other thing that’s already good for you, all of the good things going for you, ma gurl, you’re a fucking anomaly. Kinda reminds me of Hedy LaMarr! An anomaly by all means. How dare she be incredibly talented, beautiful, smart, ambitious, and, SPIRITUALLY INTELLIGENT! She was a Scorpio Sun, Leo Moon and Sag Mercury. Hear this:

‘I know why most people never get rich. They put the money ahead of the job. If you just think of the job, the money will automatically follow. This never fails.’ – Hedy LaMarr, pioneer of the frequency-hopping technology, precursor of WiFi, Bluetooth and GPS systems

If you asked me, it’s pretty obvious that a lot of people are simply jealous of you. And in a world where women are pitted against each other since time immemorial—you know; how they made girls compete with each other to become the hottest commodity to attract the richest guy in the village to take ‘em as a wife—it’s almost a crime that you were never sucked into this stupid game of hurting other women for the attention of men.

For you, and most likely this has been the case since you were a child, this kind of mindset never made a lot of sense, and oh Goddess, you’ve thought it had to go out! Of your system! Of everybody’s system! I think you were always a feminist before knowing such a concept exists. And your focus wasn’t particularly about ‘gender equality’—it wasn’t politics, babe—it was just about fairness and justice in their purest form, for all people.

HOT FIRE. You were born to light candles and burn bridges. So be it. No more playing small. No more playing with those who are small and refuse to grow strong. Go meet your Destiny NOW!🔥

Oracle Guidance for Fire Signs🔻❤️

🐏Aries – Priestess of Innocence

🦁Leo – Priestess of Magick

🎠Sagittarius – Priestess of Healing

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Original Prototype for 🐍Earth Signs – Green Physician (Paracelsus)

Knight of Pentacles Rx, XIX The Sun Rx, 5 of Cups Rx

Take care of your body, nourish it to heal your spirit, and let’s take a break from planning too many things for the near future. The aenergies all around the Planet are shifting massively, what you’re planning for the next 3 years of your Life, for example, could all go down the drain next month, next week, even. You’re being advised to recharge and find joy in the small things that you might’ve postponed to enjoy just because it’s felt like there’s so much to plan and do and achieve.

On this Planet, too many societies glamourise being busy. It’s because the busier you are the more you feel that you’re needed, right? That need for validation is what kills you from the inside if you blindly follow this misguided desire to be useful. The truth is, and only if you allow it to be your truth as well, is that it’s enough that you exist on this plane. You can love and be helpful in ways that don’t sacrifice your values or physical health? Don’t be a sell-out just because you want praises. Yuuh, bitch?

You might’ve forgotten that you came into this world to have fun. To bask in sunshine’s glory and play with nature. To eat good food and spend good times with loved ones. I’ve seen that people with strong Earth influences are usually those that are easiest victims of capitalism’s hustle culture pffft… They got you wired weird, babe. Gotta step back a little and look around, see where you’ve put your foot now.

I’m hearing that you Earth Signs are essentially meant to be a buster of old traditions and customs that no longer work. People change and values change, why wouldn’t cultures change? After all, didn’t people make culture? How come then cultures are perceived as more important than the individual? None of that makes sense. So much of what’s called culture in this world was made with garbage intent and has become pure manure at this point in Humanity’s evolution.

It’s perfectly OK to update rules and customs, don’t you think? People who refuse to grow and move with the times are TOXIC. Don’t be their prop, Earth Signs! Your mission is to launch missiles towards the Old Stinkin’ Tower of toxic traditions and to rebuild upon its rubble a new establishment that’s guided by Love. Yes, Love and Respect, instead of the ill-intent to suppress and control. Take what still works from the Old World but infuse whatever you do with Light. Let the wisdom of old guide you so that you don’t make the same mistake twice, or thrice.

I’m also hearing that you’re meant to champion some kind of effort that balances/integrates tradition and automation. ‘Going back to nature’ or ‘going back to old ways of doing things by hand’ are a major theme of your Lightwork. We’ve been dealing with too much automation in recent decades that people’s cognitive functions have declined rapidly! Automation helps with simplifying things but if that comes at the cost of people’s brain capacity, this isn’t progress then, it’s a regression of Humankind at the aggression of robots.

Doing things with hands may seem like such hard work, but in the long run, it keeps people’s brains functioning well into old age. Check out this video for inspo! I just feel that you’re meant to champion something like this <3

How The Oldest Chocolate House In New York City Survived A Century by Business Insider

Oracle Guidance for Earth Signs🔻💚

🐂Taurus – Priestess of Patience

🧘🏻‍♀️Virgo – Priestess of Purity

🐐Capricorn – Priestess of Illumination

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Original Prototype for ⛲Air Signs – Green Alchemist (Nicolas Flamel)

6 of Wands Rx, 8 of Wands, 6 of Pentacles

Being the intellectual Air Sign that you are, you’ve long realised that most of the world’s information is false. It’s taken a lot of strength to maintain your sanity, and it’s gonna require even more for you to share what you know with the world—or whoever would listen. So much of world’s history is misleading, if not blatant lies; so much of who we’ve been told as heroes and knaves has been quite the opposite, depending on angle, I guess.

You’ve been in the know that discovering the truthest truths of the Truth is gonna require some sifting through so much misinformation, disinformation, and confusion. It’s not a walk in the park but know that you’re not alone on this legacy project of yours. You may often just forget that your Spirit Guides and Cosmic Ancestors are with you. Yeah, you may forget because you’re highly intellectual and can focus too much on hard facts LOL

The fact is, look, you have direct aetheric communication with your Team. I sense many of you who are tuned into this collective reading are, in spite of your Airy-ness, quite spiritual. A lot of you have strong 12th House placements or Neptunian aenergy, as well as 8th House/Scorpio and 9th House/Sagittarius influences. This actually makes your communication with the aether that much clearer. In order to strengthen your communication, it’s important to nourish your brain with the right kind of nutrition.

You can also take advantage of subliminal and/or reiki tracks that help improve brain functions, strengthen psychic communication, as well as those for brain regeneration and relaxation—just to balance things out, you know. Breathing meditation may also benefit you a lot in this scenario. Many of you tuning into this reading are meant to have a role in communications, journalism, detective/investigative work, and maybe even politics. You have that kind of a charm, honestly😉

You could also be some kind of a whistleblower. Basically, you’re meant to communicate the Truth to the world. What Truth are we talking about? Look to your Mercury and any kind of placement you may have in the 3rd/9th House, especially if your Chiron is here, and that should give you a hint, combined with other elements such as Midheaven and North Node. All y’all are meant to discover different kinds of Truth regarding the nature of our society, or Reality huehue

Look also to what your 11th House of networking entails and see how that connects to your Uranus/Aquarius placements. Essentially, if you have a strong Libra placement especially, the key takeaway here is that you want to connect with likeminded rebels with whom you are going to be covering each other’s asses. What you’re meant to do in the world could be dangerous, so it’s important to have a strong network or support system that will keep you all safe~!

Oracle Guidance for Air Signs🔻💙

👯Gemini – Priestess of Strength

⚖️Libra – Priestess of Ritual

🏺Aquarius – Priestess of Energy

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Original Prototype for 🐝Water Signs – Gold Alchemist (Roger Bacon)

2 of Wands, Ace of Pentacles Rx, 7 of Pentacles Rx

It’s interesting that all your cards are indicating unbridled passion, but Water Signs do indeed feel a lot anyway; if you’re not gonna channel all those emotions into something creative, then what’s the point? Gotta be artistic while life is being sadistic to ya XD Your passion, your emotions, are needing a platform to be heard, listened to, watched, admired. Paint, maybe? Write a poetry? Make an artistic indie-vibe photographs or movies?

There can be a lot of trial and error, but as you do so, you exercise your demons. You get to exercise with your demons. Why not? This world could learn a lot from you who’s willing to breathe and let yourself honour your emotions. When we were born, so many of us were convinced that too much feeling was bad. The whole time, not having emotions is what’s actually psychopathic *shiver*

There’s a song I like whose title is like, ‘To not have weakness is to not have Humanity’ or something like that. To not feel, to not shed a tear, to never have a moment of breaking down, is to not have Humanity. And too many people are comfortable with that, that’s why their lives are never totally comfortable in spite of all the riches they’ve gained in the world. There’s still too much drama and bad karma because…

‘We soon tire of living only for ourselves.’ – Mishima Yukio

Psychopaths are those who live only for themselves and they use other people for short-term gratifications, right? There’s way too many people living on the spectrum of psychopathy, and it’s your mission to show these losers how to navigate around crippling sorrow and still turn up alright, decent as a Human. People are weird to give so much empathy to psychos just because ‘they didn’t grow up being loved enough that’s why they turned up the way they did’. Pffft…

Fuck that. Those assholes made a choice to grow up mean, bitter and just generally evil. How many people in the world have suffered the greatest pain and betrayal and still turned up kind and empathetic? It’s a matter of choice, bitch <3 You who have tuned into this reading are someone who’s felt for everyone and got your heart broken every other way, and still you turned up full of Light—in all the unique ways you’re still able to care for the world, even if from a safe distance.

You’re an Advanced Soul who was given so little guidance as you walk the path of your Destiny on Earth. That’s strength. Strength of character especially, knowing how much you’ve broken your heart through your own trials and errors when it comes to navigating human relationships. Don’t punish yourself for a failed connection/communication you still feel guilty for. The guilt itself is already a sign that you’re a good person at your core. Do you think evil fucks feel any remorse for manipulating your feelings or any other person's for that matter?

Oracle Guidance for Water Signs🔻💛

🦀Cancer – Priestess of Beauty

🦂Scorpio – Priestess of Fertility

🎏Pisces – Priestess of Intellect

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

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☆[Your Own Standards of Beauty PAC]☆

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 6

Post Shrimp Jump Conspiracy Board Special

Hey y’all! Welcome back to Seacaster Manor where the shrimp party is still raging and the Bad Kids are balancing being cooler than ever with some serious sleuthing. We get a lot of new information this episode so I wanted to try out a new format for this week. I often talk in a metaphorical way about putting items up on a Conspiracy Board but I want to actually try that now that we’re a little over a quarter of the way in and have multiple overarching things happening. This is going to be a lot less linear than usual but bear with me. Gotta shake things up a little so I don’t get burnt out! There’s still fourteen more episodes to go! 

The Rat Grinders

The Bad Kids’ de facto rival party got a lot of screen time in this episode, which makes sense: Adaine declared the party their nemeses over Goldenhoard or anyone else they’ve fought, which is saying a lot. Before this point, we knew the following facts about them:

1) They got their name because the only enemies they’re recorded as killing are low level ones (including rats) that they grind in the woods behind the school, showing a willingness to follow the letter but not spirit of the rules but also an impressive amount of dedication. 

2) Their leader seems to be rogue, Kipperlily Copperkettle who is type A as hell and has a LOT of free time to kill having found the rogue professor (or at least having the rogue professor find her). She’s running for class president on a platform based around “fairness” which is a theme that’s come up more than once this season. 

3) Also on the team are emo Bard Reuben (who seems to be related to the new Artificing teacher and who shares an agent with Fig) and nonplussed Barbarian Mary Ann (who is buffing herself magically somehow).

4) Kipperlily specifically asked about where Kristen was able to create a new god. Now how, where. An odd question. 

This episode, we learned a lot more, so let's throw them on the board and make some connections!

5) The Rat Grinders have a new cleric named Buddy Dawn (something Kristen’s brother mentioned two episodes ago). He’s from Highcourt and moved with his grandparents. He’s got super Mormon+Southern “Bless Your Heart” energy and Kristen doesn’t like how familiar it feels. His vibes are clocked as well meaning but kinda judgey. 

6) Buddy Dawn was *specifically requested* by the party. Of course, requesting a cleric isn’t weird–why wouldn’t you want one? And Helioism seems a pretty common religion in the region so odds are good that if you get a cleric is would be a Helioic one. But, paired with KP’s question about Kristen, it makes you wonder if the plan is to recruit a Kristen expy and try to get lightning to strike twice.  

7) At the beer pong table, we meet the RG’s archer who is an elf named Ivy Embra. She’s got some flirty, catty energy (which we see when she interacts with Fabian and Mazey respectively).

8) We also meet the party wizard, Oisin Hakinvar, who is a Conjuration specialist with a focus in summoning. He’s a blue dragonborn which means that he has a great great great (etc) blue dragon ancestor he can ping when he needs barrels of diamonds, no problem. He has so many in fact that when Adaine lies badly that she’s also swimming in diamonds, he kindly offers to let her borrow some of his “extras”. But she turns them down, calls him great, and then panics and runs away to commiserate with Fabian who is also panicking about a flirty moment with Ivy. Oisin, for his part, seems driven to distraction and can’t make a single other shot all night. Cute! But–

9) As much as I want to wholeheartedly love Oisin (and honestly do and will until I am given direct evidence to change my mind) I have to point out that KVX, known evil bank, did change its logo from red (Goldenhoard’s color) to blue (Oisin’s Ancestor’s color) and there is a shot in the trailer of the party fighting a blue dragon. Connected? Maybe.

10) From investigating some yearbooks, the party also learns that the Rat Grinders have existed since Freshman Year but, at the time, they were called the High Five Heroes. They all look a lot more smiley and a lot less intense–Rebuen’s not even emo. It was the lineup from above, minus Buddy and plus a frost Genasi cleric named Lucy Frostblade. They learn that she supposedly died in their Sophomore year but specifically during a period near the end of the year where grades are locked and it wouldn’t affect their party comp which is…convenient. 

11) Fig tries to investigate this by disguising herself as Lucy and seeing how Ivy and Oisin react. Only Ivy sees her but she doesn’t seem shocked at all to see her allegedly dead party member She just raises an eyebrow and ditches the game to talk to her. Fig bails (and rolls only a 12 to stealth away) so we don’t get any extra info but just the fact that Ivy reacted that way is pretty juicy info as is.  

12) The other Rat Grinders don’t seem to be at the party but the members are skeptical about that. On the other hand, when Ivy leaves, it’s because Oisin pulls her aside and says, “Kipperlilly’s calling”. So it’s possible there was a Team A and a Team B for whatever the Rat Grinders were doing that night?

13) And speaking of what they're doing, we do have a theory. When Fabian checks some damage in the basement where Max and some other kids were smoking "gorgenfern" he sees that something called a cloud rider engine was smashed up pretty bad and in a suspicious way–gorgenfern doesn’t make you rowdy. Fabian checks the security tapes he obviously has and sees that some ice mephits came in and riled people up to the point of crashing into the engine. Adaine conjured some earlier in the party and as far as her arcana check can tell, they’re here, but there’s suspicion that Oisin–a conjuration wizard–could have done it. It’s certainly within his skillset. A cloud rider engine allows a vehicle to fly on clouds and it’s not clear if it was simply smashed or if something was stolen from it. 

14) Max isn’t a Rat Grinder but he did ask them all if they wanted to smoke with him and Ivy offered Fabian snuff so Riz is suspicious that the RG’s are trying to get them kicked out of school for drug use now that they have a non-Aguefort principal who presumably cares about silly rules like that at the murder school. 

That’s basically what we know about the Rat Grinders! So, to sum it up, I’d say the conspiracy board bullet points are:

Supposedly dead cleric Lucy Frostblade: What actually happened to her and why isn’t Ivy surprised to see “her”?

New cleric Buddy Dawn: Why was he specifically requested? 

The High Five Heroes: What caused them to turn into the Rat Grinders? And, as they seem like they were more gung ho their first year, why did they never pivot to fighting things other than low level monsters?

Do they actually have beef with the Bad Kids specifically or are their vibes just terrible? Were they trying to sabotage them by offering drugs? Did they break the engine on purpose and, if so, why?

Oisin: Is he chill or is he working an angle? That question technically goes to Ivy as well but I’m almost certain she’s fully working an angle, lol. I’m getting straight up Aelwyn vibes from her.

Class President: What is KP’s angle re: running for class president? This seems like something she’d want to do either way with her personality but her policy of fairness dovetails too neatly with Grix’s appearance and Cassandra’s inability to say the phrase, “It’s not fair,” last episode.

How did KP find the rogue professor and is that relevant?

And finally, why did KP want to know about where Kristen created her Freshman year god? Well, that question may be partially answered in our next section. 

God Stuff

There is a lot going on this season with celestial shenanigans between Cassandra and Galicaea and even Yes! So let’s mark out what we know.

1) Cassandra was possessed by some kind of rage entity via crystal shards that were expelled from her body. Her status is kind of up in the air right now as the party was shunted away to safety by Connor Counterspell (RIP) and all Kristen has left of Cass are some glowing, purple shards. 

2) Earlier in the fight, while lucid, Cassandra said, “I thought you were dead” about some unseen entity. Later, Kristen heard from a creepy voice that said, “She is at my side once more”. It then threatened her and slid out the rotting corpse of Yes! as a sick joke. Likely that these are the same person or at least connected. 

3) Gorgug identified that the rage stars are similar to what’s going on with Ragh’s mom, Lydia so it was put on the docket to get in touch with her about that–especially because Kalina specifically told them to track down Ragh with her last lucid words. 

4) Tracker’s Galicaea rebrand is going really well. Her social media is really popping and the endless night probably didn’t hurt. 

5) Kristen on the other hand, hasn’t been doing so hot. Due to a bunch of negligence based in lack of time management and personal uncertainty, she hasn’t been evangelizing much which means only she and Craig stand between Cass and her permanent destruction. 

6) Kristen can’t contact Cass telepathically and says she can’t use her magic which is Not Great if you're as danger prone as the Bad Kids. 

Alright, that’s all the old business so let’s move to the new business. 

7) When Kristen talked to her parents, we learned that Helio doesn’t have a chosen one since she left but we learn that it’s more serious than that. Helio also can’t choose a new chosen one. He only gets one. With Kristen gone, the whole religion is without a chosen one.

8) At a certain point, Tracker finally gets a hold of Kristen and says some harsh but true things about Kristen but, more relevant to the conspiracy board, she talks about her girlfriend Nara and Adaine, as a fellow high elf, clocks her as coming from a family of moon goddess clerics in Falinel. That raises the question: is this run of the mill teenage rebellion a la the theme song, or is she some kind of plant? We’ll hopefully get some more info from Aelwyn since Adaine texted her about it.

9) The real juicy stuff happens when we talk to Ragh’s mom. The fiend in Lydia's gem is called Bakur. Her having him in there doesn't make her rage--she's raging to keep him trapped but that's it. Her personality is the same. 

10) Bakur was a pit fiend and the right hand guy of a dead god whose name we don't know (hmm, another dead and nameless god). Bakur can't even say the god's name. It's like, weird god rules and Lydia explains in a weird vague way: gods not being able to use loopholes and saying names being powerful and rules changing for non-mortals when gods die.

11) The one very concrete info we get is that a god can only come back in a place where they were born or created. The reason Bakur’s plan failed is that he tried to bring back the nameless god in the Red Waste and not where they were created. 

12) Rana (Lydia’s party cleric) is away and Cormyr (the party sorcerer) is dead but Lydia offers to put the party in touch with Rana and Cormyr’s family because they have more stuff related to this and they were the ones who knew more about this than her. 

Following? Good. So let’s distill this down to bullets again:

Holy Helio. The corn god doesn’t have a chosen one anymore because Kristen up and left. What does that mean in a concrete sense? What can a chosen one do that a normal cleric can’t? Is Helio gonna ask Kristen to do anything this season now that we know that this is a special position that only one person can fill? Is it until she dies (or at least dies for real)? Would a fanatical Helioic person try and kill Kristen to open up that slot?

KP specifically asking WHERE Cassandra was created seems clearly tied to the info Lydia gave about only being able to resurrect a god where it was created. But what does that mean exactly? Is she trying to resurrect the same god as Bakur? Did she just assume that wherever Kristen made her god is probably where most gods are made and, thus, her best bet? What’s her angle? Is this an evil plan for just a “this will get me a good grade” plan?

Where in the world is Cassandra right now? She is MIA right now which means Kristen’s powers are too. Though I wonder if she can draw on those shards to cast spells.

We obviously can’t be sure but it seems like the voice Kristen heard and the person that Cass thought was dead is likely that unnamed god. What’s his deal? I’m sure we’ll have more info for this bullet soon. 

Is Tracker’s new girlfriend Nara, much like Ecaf, a turncoat? 

With Helio, Cass, and Galicaea all being in the mix, is there any kind of family angle being played. It doesn’t come up a ton but they are very much related. 

MISC

This is a section for a few points that don’t yet fit under the main two headings of the season but still need to go up on the board. 

Why would Aguefort program a robot that acts like Grix? Is he supposed to be like or is he hacked? If he is hacked, who would be able to do that? The new artificing teacher? The old one?

We learn that Aguefort has made a lot of contradicting proclamations and all of them are canon, so you’re able to pick and choose what you want to cite (I feel like I’m in law school again). Lots of room for loopholes which could be useful later. 

Adaine, while very drunk, had an oracle vision of Kristen at a birthday party, giving a victory speech to a bunch of teens on election night as a crescent moon hangs in the sky. The Crescent moon potentially gives them a time frame if they look into it (and it specifically being mentioned makes me think of Galicaea even though not every moon thing has to be connected to her). And we know Gorgug’s birthday is near the Frosty Folk festival so maybe that’s why the hats.

Speaking of, we know there’s a connection between Riz’s mom defending someone for money crimes re: that Festival and Gorgug’s parents hosting it so that’s something to remember. 

This isn’t something for the pin board per se but this season introduces a stress token system for downtime! I’m sure I’ll talk about it more when we use it for the first time next ep but, for now, gotta say he’s really ramping up the pressure on our kids! And, to that point, let’s do a quick check in with everyone and see what they’re up against!

Character Board

Adaine

-Adaine is still facing major money troubles. After last episode, not only is her job terminated, but she actually owes 2.5 gold for her uniform. 

-It looks like she might be developing a bit of a crush on the cute dragonborn (yay) but he’s a Rat Grinder (nooooo). I will say though, cross party romance could be a lot of fun and also my favorite NPC in this show is Aelwyn whose top 2 traits are famously Criminal and Loves Adaine so I am honestly fine with this either way lol. 

-Speaking of Aelwyn, I’ll put the sister stuff together: When Adaine calls her to ask for dirt on Nara she says, “Working, will call in five.” And when Adaine questions the fact that it's 5am on a Saturday, Adaine just gets a winky face emoji back. Suspicious! 

Fabian

-Fabian has to juggle the new 150% course load (bard/fighter) as well as his new party house reputation.

-He has a lack of adult supervision which also means a lack of adult care and it seems to be affecting him more than he’s willing to let on. 

-But honestly his biggest obstacle is probably himself right now, lol. He made himself a new nemesis in Gertie Bladshield and I am not confident he can handle this honey trap mission with Ivy without the tables being turned on him. 

Riz

-Riz is also facing money troubles, but for him that’s kind of business as usual unfortunately.

-He has a TON of extracurriculars to keep track of but he so far seems to be handling it pretty well and is picking up some interesting allies (that double as votes for Kristen’s campaign–campaign manager is also an extracurricular he’s taken up): the aforementioned Gertie Bladeshield (Apiary Club), Sprak LeFevre (Aviation Club), and Molman Holden (Soil Club). Always good to have new allies and Aviation Club seems like it could be really useful later! I can see him making some luck checks to successfully say, “I know a guy” in a tight spot based on how many clubs he’s joined. 

-He also has the Reliable Talent ability now which means he’s incapable of rolling lower than a 21 on things he’s proficient in which includes Investigation. We’re about to be getting some INSANE lore dumps. 

Gorgug

-Gorgug has his insane 400% courseload happening and I didn’t notice this until it was pointed out to me but Zac actually leveled Gorgug DOWN in Barbarian to take an extra level of Artificer! That’s commitment. But I can’t imagine Porter, who already has a problem with him, is gonna like that. 

Fig

-Fig would hate it if I didn’t start this list by saying that she hella misses Ayda and that’s her biggest problem. 

-But she also has her album to worry about and we actually get the bombshell during a conversation with Mazey that she’s not even sure that she still wants to be a bard.

-On top of that, she’s taking Barb and Warlock classes along with the Bard classes she’s finally going to. 

-She has her gnarly Gilear curse happening that’s seemingly connected to whoever the boss who owns the pride armor is. 

-She has beef with Rebuen and is living her double life as Wanda Childa to try and learn whatever she can about him/the Rat Grinders. 

-Both she and Wanda are wanted by the Solace FBI.  

-On a positive note, she really endeared herself to Mazey by sweetly sticking up for her when Ivy was being catty. If Fig wasn’t so devoted to Ayda I could have read their interaction at the end of the ep as flirty. Regardless, nice moment and great ally. 

Kristen

-Welp, her god is, if not dead, MIA which is arguably the biggest deal of anything on any of these lists, especially since it’s tied to her magic AND her grade. 

-Next of course is the potato to her meat on her plate: her campaign. But that’s actually going really well, especially after this party. Her biggest issue is whether or not she can get Fetty Wap to homecoming and, lbr, in a pinch Fig can just disguise herself as him. When has that ever not worked?

-She also has this unnamed god (or whoever it is) taunting her and threatening her specifically which isn’t ideal. 

-But I honestly think she was more fucked up by the conversation which Tracker where her ex basically outlined everything she needs to get together in her life and then posted a pre-written pic with her new girlfriend. That’s gotta sting. 

And that’s it! I wanted to focus on the specific nuggets of info we got this episode and start to connect them with what we knew so far. Different format, I know, but I’m feeling experimental this season and I might switch it up a few more times as Junior Year goes on. I love covering Fantasy High but, like I said at the top, I have to keep it fresh so I don’t burn out. See you next time when Brennan makes the stress we’re all feeling an actual game mechanic! Fun!

[demonictumble]

would i be friends with the crows?

kaz brekkar, 2/10 possibility of us being friends. i’d hate his attitude and i could not get close to him. on paper he’s a great complex character but i don’t vibe with that in rl. hes also really secretive and i could not like that. the points are added bc id have fun with nina making fun of hair and also he’d totally bring chaos into my life with his schemes (that would get annoying easily tho)

inej ghafa, 8/10 possibility of us being friends. i love have girl friends and she would totally be so great. also id totally rope her into doing my hair bc she seems to know how to braid and i would enjoy that. i dock two points bc i would be like him??? about kaz and we would both have a small fight about her low standards bc im still warming up to that man. and also bc i would tire of her sneaking up on me all the time.

nina zenik, 9.5/10 possibility of us being friends. nina seems like such a girls girl and i love her for that. i love girls girls and also she’s a queer icon like me fr. and idk we’re kinda similar and i like people im similar too. i’d love to team up with her on stuff like laser tag and we’d have a blast making fun of kaz together. .5 points deducted bc i feel she’s competitive if we ever played a board game and i too am competitive.

matthias hevlar, 4/10 possibility of us being friends. okay we’d vibe in certain situations when we both exchange glances and are like “stupid dumbassez, love them tho” . but there are bits that kinda make me shy away from being friends with him. the religiousness, like if it was like how it was in the beginning of the duology, would definitely be a sign to not associate with him bc i hage had too situations where people use religion as an excuse for being hateful. also he feels like he’s too much of a rule-follower when he’s not with nina. like c’mon, let’s go! also he seems sporty and i don’t really like sporty people which is an internal bias of mine that i’m working on okay.

jesper fahey, 7/10 possibility of us being friends. he’s so fun!! but also i hate guns so idk we’d butt heads over that sometimes but prolly not a lot. also gambling habits, i hate seeing people being self-destructive and it would make me sad to see that bc id try to help but id get frustrated quickly. he has a great personality tho i would be kinda weirded out by the flirting at first but he’d either tone it down or id return the energy. the points deducted are mainly bc of his gambling habits that he’ll get rid of but if i was there during it that’s why.

wylan van eck, 9/10 possibility of us being friends. he’d be a blast to have in a chemistry class bc you know class is gonna end with a fire alarm being set off bc he’s tired of being in class. he’s such a gremlin and i am too and i think we’d cause great chaos together. 1 point deducted bc he’s a gremlin but nobody would believe it bc he has that innocent type face (but i know your secrets van eck) and id try to convince people he pranked me and they’d be like him?! no way!! while he grins deviously. i’d shake my fist in anger but that’s all i could do.

[foolondahill17]

Dear Mr. Vonnegut,

Transcript (bracketed text are notes from Mrs. Dalton):

[11/15/94, please add date]

[C- please see me after class]

Dear Mr. Vonnegut,

[Introduce yourself here]

We’re supposed to pick our favorite author and write them a letter, or whatever. I don’t have a favorite author because I’m not a fucking [unacceptable language!] nerd, but I thought Cat’s Cradle was the best book we read so far by process of elimination (no offense). I just thought the other books were stupid. My Antonia? Total snooze fest [point taken]. And the story about the tricked-out wallpaper? 

I get that it was supposed to “mean something,” but – call me crazy – I think a story should have a good story before you start talking about hidden meanings. Some lady getting locked in her bedroom and hallucinating - that’s a shitty [language!] story. If I were her, I would have just jumped out the window or beat my husband over the head with a lamp. Not that I’m ever gonna have a husband. I’m a dude. But my point is, it doesn’t matter if the story’s secretly some feminist commentary on how we shouldn’t lock up women (see, Mrs. Dalton? I do pay attention) [not quite] if it’s just a crummy story in the first place. 

But Cat’s Cradle was a good story, first, before all those messages about how we shouldn’t have gone so crazy with nuclear technology during the Cold War because it might blow up the earth someday. But anyway, the story was good, you get me? It was funny and weird and had all that new age religion and science fiction stuff – kind of like “Star Trek.” 

I liked the stuff about Bokonism Bokononism. There’s this real stuck up prissy bitch in class named Marie [very inappropriate to discuss another student like this!] who was really upset that Bokononism was basically saying that all religion is just a bunch of lies people make up to make themselves feel better about the fact that everyone dies. And Mrs. Dalton said that, why did it matter if it was all lies if it still brought people peace? I don’t know, I think I’d rather not be lied to and find peace on my own terms, you get me? But Marie was all like “but Jesus is the truth and the Bible is the word of God.” People like her are all over Texas. I hope we move soon. It’s way too fucking [language!] hot here, too. 

My dad’s got this friend who’s a pastor who used to babysit me and my brother all the time. He’s always saying the same kind of stuff Marie is, accept [except] he’s not a jerk about it. He thinks that the evil all around us is proof that there’s good, too. My mom used to think that. She taught me the hole [whole] “when I lay me down to sleep” schtick, but then she ended up dying, anyway, by something so evil you wouldn’t even believe it if I told you. 

The foot thing was kind of kinky [??], but one thing I liked about Bokononism was the karass idea. I move around a lot, so I meet a lot of people, and I guess some of them have sorta joined my karass [nice connection to your personal life]. I don’t think we’re cosmically linked like the book was talking about, but I think it’s weird [significant?] that we all met each other even though we normally never would have. Like if Dad never met Pastor Jim, he never would have met Caleb and Bobby [run-on sentence] and then me and Sam never would have spent that summer with Bobby [run-on sentence] and I never would have learned how to replace a catalytic converter [impressive!], which was helpful because I had to do it all by myself on the Impala when Dad broke his arm and I needed to drive [??] Sam to school.

It’s like what Newt said: “life’s just a game of Cat’s Cradle. [end quote] I see what you mean, but I don’t know if I totally agree. It just seems so pointless if you really think about it. Life’s nothing more than interconnected strings [nicely phrase]. It’s…doomful [??]. (My dweeb little brother says “inevitable” is a better word) [It is a better word]. 

Living in a world where you’re not in control of your decisions seems kinda depressing. I mean, I don’t have a lot of control over where we live or what my dad does for a living, but at least I get to decide to help people. It’s not me who’s trapped inside a story that’s already been written. I’m not some corpse on the highest mountain of some Caribean Caribbean Island, thumbing my nose to God. I’ve got more power than that, right? [A significant question]

Anyway, it ain’t like you’re actually going to read this because I probably won’t get a chance to send it. And Mrs. Dalton won’t get to read it, either, [spoke too soon] because I won’t even be at this school in a week. But there’s nothing else to do while I wait for Dad to get back home. There’s nothing good on TV after 11:00, so I might as well do homework. He said he’d be back in time for dinner, but it’s already 1 AM. [??]

Bye, [Regards,] 

- Dean W.

 A+, you’re a genious [genius] Mr. Winchester! [haha]

[Passably written, and you followed the assignment well enough, but your language and attitude toward your fellow students are unacceptable.]

*Pages surrounded by doodles of a devils trap, fire, Star Wars logo, book, stick-figures, grocery list (peanut butter, apples, bread, soup, cereal, socks), snail, partly erased cartoon dog, glasses, gun, Scooby Doo, baseball, skull, Samulet, Chevrolet logo, Zeppelin lyrics (‘Twas in the darkest depths of Mordor I met a girl so fair, but Gollum, and the evil one, crept up and slipped away with her), note: Call dentist for Sammy! 555-8451*

[angeletombee]

i hope you don't find this weird.

you and your writing were one of the factors that led to me finally completely abandoning religion, and i want to thank you for that. i feel free and even though i don't actually know you, i wanted to say that i'm grateful you exist.

First of all, this comment/statement came in a very long time ago, and it has lived with me ever since. I’ve been sitting on this for months, contemplating. Pleasantly haunted, perhaps? I don’t even know if I’ve arrived at a conclusion yet, and I just didn’t know if it needed replying to or not. I’ve gone back and forth multiple times — so many times, really. I finally decided, YES. I want to validate these words and express my gratitude.

Thank you, Beautiful Human.

Thank you for sharing this journey with me. It’s fucking hard, I know, and *I am here with you*. This is one of the singularly most difficult things to bear, but we’re all here with you.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

I never — not ever, not ONCE — thought that when I poked my silly fanfiction onto the internet that I would make anyone happy, let alone help them (even in a teeny way) out of what I feel to be a repressive worldview, but here we are. This is the power of words, cats, and THIS is why the Right Reich is all about banning books. About censoring words. BECAUSE WORDS CAN CHANGE LIVES. And you never know which words in which orders in which cases in which tenses — or even which LANGUAGE — will do the trick. So best to ban as many as possible! Keep the people in line. Ignorance is tantamount to compliance.

Well, fuck that.

I was taught that the pen is mightier than the sword, and goddamn it, my slick-ass fountain pen is a THOUSAND times hotter than your stupid gun. And, yes, I only write with fountain pens. I know this is spilling out everywhere, but that’s because I want you all to read this and know it’s heartfelt and have an ultimate takeaway — even if you, yourself, are religious (I have no problem…pro-religious expression!), even if you read three words of what I write and hate me, THAT IS GREAT! That’s your prerogative! THAT, my cat, is freedom.

Anyway.

Words can help. Words can heal. Words can change whole fucking *lives*. Words - even dumb ones - can help people arrive at the truth. Even words in gay Good Omens fanfic written on the internet.

Remember that.

I don’t know who this human is, but I am so, SO happy they exist. Thank you again, Intrepid Person. Stay strong.

I believe in you.

[berenices-commas]

After the Forest - 2023 - Kell Woods

So this is a retelling of a classic fairytale – words which strike fear into the hearts of the wise. This time it’s Hansel and Gretel! And also Snow White, kind of. But this was, if not actually good, at least not painful. Woods is clearly influenced by The Bear and the Nightingale, which is a great book, and this steers her in something approaching the right direction. This is very definitely historically grounded – we’re in the aftermath of the Thirty Years War, in a backwoods village in the Black Forest, in which there just so happens to be magic going on. And so we get a split between the historical fantasy and the fairytale.

The former doesn’t quite come up to Katherine Arden’s standards, but Woods is trying! The best part of this book is its portrayal of a young peasant woman, without parents or much of an inheritance, trying to make a living for herself and her brother who has never really recovered from their shared childhood trauma. I think to a large degree this succeeds in presenting a world where people’s life choices, and their understanding of those choices, are genuinely different from our own society. For me this is the key to good historical fiction – Woods’ occasional lapses in accuracy don’t really pose a problem. (She joins the hallowed ranks of fantasy authors, going back to Tolkien himself, who don’t quite know what a pike is. But this is fine! Shelley Parker-Chan writes amazing historical fantasy, and I’m still not convinced they’ve ever actually heard of crossbows.)

There are maybe two big stumbling points. First is in the treatment of Christianity – the people of this village all go to church, they swear by Christ, etc., but you don’t get the impression that any of them really believe in God, or have much investment in the religion that structures their whole world. This rather dismissive attitude to religion then exacerbates the second problem, which is how the book places witchcraft in a social context. Because Woods takes pains to emphasise that this society has a constant, bubbling fear of witches that can boil over into murderous panics. And yet she doesn’t really explore why people think like that – for her it’s just foolish superstition. Which is very weird because in the world of this novel witches are actually real. There literally are a bunch of evil witches who live in secret and go around cursing people, and the curses can only be lifted by killing the witches. The book never squares its very reasonable condemnation of witch-burning with the fact that Greta saves the day by burning a witch! It’s odd.

The fairytale side of the book shades into urban fantasy – we get werewolves, witches with different schools of magic, etc. None of it is terribly interesting here, though it should be – a Burgundian noblewoman who becomes immortal and lives dozens of false lives across Europe! A family of werewolves created by a pagan Norse priestess who have now forgotten their ancient purpose and hire themselves out as mercenaries in the wars of religion! (The last one is also a great RPG premise.) But throughout everyone is just a little too matter-of-fact about the magic shaping their lives – it comes across neither as wondrous nor horrifying, and we don’t go nearly deep enough into the characters’ experience of it.

Overall this is not a bad book, and a good debut effort. The characterisation is never really exciting but rarely actually thin. The plotting is fine, and only gets away from the author right at the end. It’s certainly better than most in this subgenre, and manages to tell a much better feminist story for not being conceived as a Feminist Retelling. But I don’t think it ends up making the most of its premise.

[morannon]

Honestly today I just want to complain about people using other cultures as a costume, appropriating cultural and religious practices that they know nothing about, mixing and matching them to suit their aesthetic. Particularly religion/belief systems in this case.

With everyone blasting their microlabels and having a dedicated dni page, you’d think that people would have at least some self-awareness. But somehow there’s thousands out here who think that having a potted plant, any crystal or a dreamcatcher (something distinctly belonging to Native American/First Nations cultures, just so we’re clear!) somehow makes them an [insert their current vibe here] witch. Which they also wont stop conflating with cultural and religious practices of existing cultures.

I’ve noticed that somehow October always makes it exponentially worse. Like millions of people discover that they’re either witches or at the very least “pagan”, a lot of the times both. Until Christmas. Because *fall aesthetic* or some shit.

I literally just saw someone self-identifying themselves as a “celtic/norse/baltic/hellenic pagan”, as if those things are remotely similar or somehow interchangeable, and as an “eclectic witch”. Allow me to translate. What it really says is “I don’t actually give a shit about the tradition or meaning, I just want to make my bio *interesting* even if it means throwing together stuff I know nothing about”. 

It blows my mind that all of these people claiming to be “pagan” don’t understand the first thing about it. And not least of all that the term itself is at its core a derogatory construct of the Christian church, only marginally better than infidel, heathen, idolater, disbeliever or the rest. All of which assume the supremacy of one belief above all others. Which is why I have also used it here in quotation marks. Now that I think of it, I don’t think I have ever in my life met an actual believer who refers to themself as ‘pagan’. What absolute clownery.

Moreover, have you met someone who has in their bio that they’re Christian/Jewish/Muslim/Baha´i? No? Ain’t it funny though how all of the latter being Abrahamic religions have a lot more in common than any of the indigenous belief systems from geographically distant regions that people like to accessorize their bios with while using them interchangeably.

I have to admit that it’s hella weird to see people identifying as something while utterly failing to believe or practice. What is that? It’s not even an ancestral cultural legacy that they’ve failed to connect with personally, but literally something they adopted via internet and not immediate community.

If this person with that particular bio had the faintest idea of what any of the things meant, they would know that those things are at odds with each other, to varying degrees. There literally is no “baltic paganism” that the three countries share. It’s complete nonsense. And Norse and Celtic paganism are completely distinct belief systems. This so-called paganism differing from Abrahamic religions also doesn’t mean that any of those belief systems view witchcraft as something permissible or invited beyond religious practices belonging to those belief systems which have been labelled as witchcraft by Christians intentionally othering and marginalizing indigenous beliefs.

Here’s a fun fall idea: people could stop accessorizing themselves with other people’s cultures and beliefs that they don’t truly know, understand or respect.

[o0anapher0o]

One pet peeve I have with Discovery going forward from season 3 (haven’t seen S4 yet) that has very little to do with the plot, the characters or the overall quality of the show, is how they have put next to no effort into the world building of their future. They have sent their crew 900 years into the future and almost nothing changes? Sure the political landscape shifted a little (but not to a point of being unrecognisable), the technology is a bit more advanced (barely) and everything is a little more lawless and more threatening than before, but all in all there are more differences between TOS and TNG than between Disco season two and three. They might just as well have gone fifty years into the future.

It just feels like the writers have absolutely no concept of how long 900 years are in cultural and social terms. It is very, very long. Like, nine hundred years ago we had a completely different perception of what a person was, and I’m not even talking medically. A child would have been considered a small adult and a person’s character was seen as an unchangeable fixture you were born with (character development was literally invented by the Enlightenmet) . The way society worked was fundamentally different, humanity’s place in the universe was fundamentally different, hell, even what people ate was fundamentally different.

The fact that apparently 900 years in the future Starfleet still exists is hardly less than a miracle, but it also seems to have changed so little that the crew of the Discovery can seamlessly be integrated after a mere months of welcome-to-the-future workshops and a minor technical overhaul of the ship. Fucking Marvel did a better job showing Steve Rogers’ having to integrate into the future and he was only seventy years out of his own time and none of the films really cared about that. The Disco crew even keep their old uniforms and no one ever even remarks on it. Imagine a medieval knight coming to the present and joining the police, but they keep wearing their chain mail and armour, and no one thinks it’s weird. (Yes I know they get the new ones by the end of S3, but there is no in universe reason given as to why exactly then and not earlier.)

And Starfleet is a secular institution that has apparently survived without any major changes at all for nearly a millennium. Even the world’s major religions, the most change-resistant institutions humanity has ever created, have undergone massive changes over the centuries in regards to doctrines, organisation structure, their socio-political role, how they operate, etc. None-religious organisations don’t even usually last that long. The only ones that do tend to be monarchies, which are more often then not closely interwoven with religion; and they too have changed drastically in what they mean, how they work and what they can/should do. Try and put William the Bastard on the English throne today and see what happens.

And that’s not even touching on cultural and social stuff. Like the fact that Kelpiens apparently still sing the same lullabies and eat the same food Saru remembers. Name one song that people still sing that is provably older than even just 500 years. Just one. I’ll wait. Music doesn’t last that long. The idea of what music is, how it’s made, how it’s preserved doesn’t last that long. (They get a pass for the dish because Su’Kal has never had it before so he wouldn’t know if it was weird.) It’s especially annoying that they do this with Kelpien culture with probably underwent a massive revolution after everything they knew about themselves was changed in season 2. We’re talking fall of the Roman empire levels of cultural and social change here. Kaminar should be entirely unrecognisable to Saru.

They do their best job with Ni’Var, and even there it feels superficial. They’re not one culture, they’re two that barely hold together, even after what has to be eight hundred years, if we assume the reunification happened reasonably shortly after the destruction of Romulus. (That’s not even getting into me thinking Ni’Var as a concept is a stupid idea and they should have realised that at some point on those eight hundred years. Sometimes breaking up is simply the better option if your core ideals are fundamentally different.)

Nine hundred years is an insanely long time and all they do is basically pretend this is the same world we already know, just slightly different and with everyone we know conveniently removed.

I know all of this is pretty irrelevant to pretty much everything in the show (which is probably why they didn’t bother), but it bugs me so much every time I watch it it’s not even funny anymore.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Re-Watch of Conquer, Religion in the Daryl Spinoff, and the PPP Card

@galadrieljones:

Finally watched Conquer tonight. I have nothing to add that hasn’t already been said, other than that I can see why many older theories thought Beth might show up with the Wolves.

Morgan finds that Hannah Fairlight magazine in Coda. She’s a native American singer dressed as such with a wolf tattoo, then the Wolves come along in Conquer with their story about wolf resurrection. “There’s gonna be a party when the wolf comes home,” etc.

Obviously, she didn’t come back. What is the reason for this deceit? So much has been learned since, about tptb and their oblique mannerisms. They never hit the nail head on. It’s usually slanted, in some way.

The Wolves were a red herring, like the man in the poncho. The real enemy in season 6 is hubris. It’s what leads Negan to their door. It’s worth noting that Beth does make an “appearance” in season 6, as Tina, and then Denise. She’s being “resurrected” through other characters, like the wolves of old. Anyway, I am gonna think on this more…

Also there’s some weird dream dialogue in Conquer. In the beginning after the credits, Rick wakes up, and he laughs, and when Michonne asks him what’s so funny, he says to Michonne something curious.

He says, “It’s like the train car. After the whole thing, I’m still there.” Later on he says, “We’re here,” about being in Alexandria, and she says something like, “You just said you’re not.” Sort of weird timing to bring up “A.” Something else I want to think on a bit.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Yeah, good points about the weird Rick dialogue. I haven’t watched that in a long time, and I’d forgotten that. We know tptb don’t ever waste dialogue or screen time, so they would have inserted that dialogue with a specific purpose in mind.

@wdway:

This afternoon I was just scrolling through some old comicbook articles and there was one from November 21by Cameron Bonomolo that I'm sure that we talked about at that time but there was a little piece of information in there that I don't remember seeing in any other article. Norman talking about his spin-off. Everything else I've heard or read about repeatedly.

He mentions a religious vibe to the spinoff. I thought that was more than a little interesting. The fact that we haven't seen or heard him mention it again might be very telling. Just thought I'd let you see it for yourself and if this is something that you guys have seen other places I really like to hear about it.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

I kind of vaguely remember reading that line back when the article first came out. But you're right. I don't think I've seen it talked about anywhere else. When he says it will be a religious vibe, I envision it being religion like TDVC is religious. Can't wait to see what goodness the spinoff brings us!

@wdway:

Changing gears for a moment. The other day I was just reading comments on a TWD site that had an article about the PPP card. I always read the comments usually more often than the actual articles.

Someone had thrown out the idea that PPP could stand for Philadelphia and Paris but could not come up with a third P. Just thought that was kind of interesting. Although I truly don't think they had Paris in mind back when we first saw the card in the episode Swear but things do change.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

I agree. Gimple had something specific in mind for that card, and we don't know what. I guess I could believe he might have meant Paris if they'd always planned on the French thing, which is mentioned by Jenner in the pilot episode. I just think he wouldn't have known that they would be filming on location. But they might have just figured they would still film in Georgia and "say" it was Paris, like they did with D.C. I don't know. I guess we'll know when they tell us. ;D

@wdway:

How about Project Primrose, Paris? Except I don't think that Paris was Primrose was it? Anyway you could play with this all day and not have the answer.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Yeah, for sure! Sounds good to me. But yeah. No way to know for certain. But fun to speculate about! ;D

@galadrieljones:

I like this one! Primrose team was based out of France but in Toledo at the time of the Fall, which means they were stateside. I think one of them could have been TB Ellis, since the woman from the Violet Team has a folder full of her papers on her computer, and Primrose Team seems to be the team she thinks could actually find a cure. Also idk if it would make sense but Portland starts with a P. That’s where Major General Beale’s kid is from. Portland Paris Philadelphia = PPP

@wdway:

I love this. Fun to guess what it could mean. We do have months and months to go before we have anything solid to go on. I couldn't remember if Paris was Primose or not so thanks for clearing that up. I do need to go back an watch s2 of TWB as a refresher on Primrose and Team Violet. I was going to wait for a while to rewatch but who knows I might just decide to watch a few out of order episode some afternoon along with Tales of the Dead episode 5? Wasn't that the one with the PPP card? I believe it is.

@galadrieljones:

Yes, it’s Davon with the ppp card. I’m still super intrigued by him. He’s out there somewhere. And so is the madman who shot him.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Lol. I love that last line you typed. Something that can only be said with a straight face during a TWD discussion.

@galadrieljones:

ROFL

I wonder if we know the madman who shot Davon…? Another creepy thing to hear somebody say if you don’t have the necessary context.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

So true!

[faithfromanewperspective]

I visited my old church over the weekend, and it must be something about coming back with fresh eyes that made me realise—my current church is absolutely lovely and definitely not perfect but it’s certainly alive, and I can see now how this group of burnt out people (who are each lovely in their own part, most of them, just together they seem so desperate and hungry for connection and love and seem so unable to give it) feel a lot like Charn (I read the magician’s nephew recently and now it’s the only thing I use for metaphors). Like I remember how everything I had to give fit like a puzzle piece if it was an ecosystem and I remember the wide-eyed optimism for what we could create and I remember ignoring my unmet needs for years on end for the sake of the vision, a vision that’s only expanded since then: a vision of people fully experiencing liberation and connection because to me that’s what the religion we have in common is about at its core.

I remember being disappointed by the people around me who went from the friend group of my late teens and young adult years to colleagues I tried to be understanding of the limitations of, I remember trying to be there as the people I love fell apart trying to be there covering all the need we saw in people around us, trying to live that life we’re supposedly called to where we care. Never questioning why there was so much need—who does in their altruistic optimism? Who wants to end up like the people who don’t care? We can do better we think. We’re dumb and passionate, me more than most when I’m so time and energy blind I forget how to predict when I have the spoons and I rely on the sense of community and purpose I get there to power my entire life. But with so much need how the hell on God’s green earth was I meant to tell them how to care for me? I remember spending services crying in the bathroom between somehow keeping the place going, I remember every time someone came and felt like they belonged for the first time ever, the secondary joy could distract me and make me forget I didn’t really want to be alive. I also remember every single person who left, hurt by something I didn’t know and would wonder about ever since. Needs of people around me stuffing my brain so full so that I couldn’t vocalise what I needed because I just didn’t know. I now know I get sensory overload from other people’s unmet needs, and I can see everything they hide. But why are there so many?

it makes perfect sense now actually, when you think about the church as a whole and all the fear and shame so many of those people grew up with and the tribal insecurity that somehow missed me because I always thought we had a faith of liberation and connection (why did we not live like that?) which meant I was never scared of people and if they insulted me I wouldn’t even notice unless it was funny, so curious to take in everyone else’s perspectives and feel whatever they were feeling that if it elicited an emotion in me it’d get lost in the fray. We used to insult American Christians for being weird about politics and lgbtqia+ people, when did we become like that too? But it makes perfect sense, for fear of different feeds on fear and shame and insecurity. We say we’re a safe space for everyone, but it ends up being somewhere people who don’t feel safe themselves make others feel unsafe and I didn’t even realise they were doing that to me. Maybe I can fix it, because I know what’s underneath. Maybe I can prioritise better and do better than I did. Most dangerous idea I ever had.

I know my limits now, all the things I can’t do, and I pray for these people. Pray for the day where maybe I can make a difference without destroying myself because I finally have the ability to see that that’s not now and there’s no ‘easy’ way to do a little, not for me at least. The tidal wave of ideas takes over. I only know how to go too far and think I can work and study and volunteer all at once. No one could do what I was trying and if they could, why should I have to? I don’t have to. That’s the point of my religion. And you can see why it gets confusing. Why it seems impossible and sometimes I just have to wait and hope that somehow people will come together in ways that can make it better. More accessible.

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

251 of 2023

What is your favourite dinosaur?

I don’t care about dinosaurs.

Would you rather live with wolves or tigers?

I think tigers, I prefer cats.

Have you ever forgotten what a certain kind of pain felt like?

I wish. Some things are impossible to forget.

Do you prefer water from the tap or bottled water?

I prefer no water, thanks.

Do you actually use any of the shampoo hotels provide?

No, but I take the bottles with me.

What do you remember the most about your childhood?

Playing outside with friends.

Do you feel as if someone has robbed something from you?

Yeah, my innocence. I was a teenager then.

Have you ever stared at the sky and wondered if it was all worth it?

No, I have better things to do. Wait, maybe it happened once or twice.

Would you rather have a pet dinosaur or have mythical creatures be real?

Can I just keep my cats instead?

What age did you get your first hair cut?

Who remembers that?

Do you have a favourite toy from childhood still?

No, I don’t.

What are your thoughts on the end of the world?

I don’t give a fuck, there were way too many “ends of the world” already, even during my lifetime.

Which sports do you enjoy watching?

Basketball, if ever.

Would you ever have a breed of dog that is considered aggressive?

I’m not much of a dog person in general.

Have you ever made bread?

Yeah. Turned out pretty good.

Would your childhood self be disappointed?

No, he would be proud.

Do you think in the future you’ll have done yourself proud?

The future is now.

Did you read The Great Gatsby before seeing the movie?

No, and I haven’t seen the movie either.

What do you feel about movies made from books?

I don’t care about movies.

Has anything ever fallen asleep on you?

Yeah, my older cat.

Do you have to use the bathroom?

Not right now.

Is the above question too invasive?

Nope, but any sexual question would be.

What do you feel about surgeries? Do they worry you?

Last time I had one I was uncoscious, and they were saving my life. So I’m rather grateful for it.

Do you have a tumblr?

Where else am I typing now?

Would you rather have an open book shelf or one with doors?

Open because I want to see all the titles.

Do you need a large or small place to live comfortably?

I’d prefer big space and lots of natural light. Big kitchen, definitely.

Would you ever consider moving to another country?

I’ve been living in another country already.

Have you ever dropped everything and reevaluated?

Kind of, but it depends on what you mean by this.

Do you play minecraft? if so, feelings about servers?

No, I don’t play Minecraft.

Do you long for easier times?

Sometimes. When life was more carefree.

Do you believe that life gets easier or we just get stronger?

We get stronger. Not all of us, though.

Does it weird you out to think that humans are just more advanced animals?

No, because it’s true. Not more advanced, though. We just can speak languages, but we’re in no way smarter than other animals.

Do you ever wonder why religion came about?

I guess the aliens invaded Earth and showed people miracles, and people started worshipping them. Might be wrong, though. It’s just my theory.

Would you ever consider shaving your head?

I had my head shaved for surgery and nobody asked my opinion about it. Consciously, I wouldn’t. I like having hair.

Would you rather belong to a cult or a religion you feel is wrong?

No.

Have you ever considered murder?

LMAO what a question lol.

Kill a man or a woman?

Kill no one.

Would you like to live in a realm where the zombie apocalypse is possible?

Everything is possible these days.

Are you afraid of any animals? Reason?

Snakes, I don’t trust them.

Someone knocks on your door three times right now, do you answer?

We have a doorbell for a reason.

Do you read creepypastas?

I do, just for fun. I like such things.

Can you sleep afterwards?

Why wouldn’t I?

[survey--s]

463.

by brelee

Do you know what the most common bird is in your area? Seagulls, blackbirds, robins, sparrows.

What last made you feel ecstatic? When I realised next week was half-term so it’ll be quiet plus I have a full weekend off next week too lol.

What would make you feel happiest right now? Uhh, nothing really? I have to leave to feed Monty and Charley in half an hour so I’m just killing time until then.

How many teeth have you had extracted? Just two - both my upper wisdom teeth. My bottom ones need doing too but because of how impacted they are I’ll need surgery so my dentist just said to leave them unless they start causing me any bother.

Do you ever read magazines? Not anymore, no.

What is something you've been reflecting on? I have a new dog starting with me next week - which is fine but he used to go with another walker, they’ve just stopped her because he keeps coming back injured and I feel like it’s going to be really awkward when I start posting him on my page, lol.

What's something you like and dislike about the town you live in? I love the location - we’re right by the sea and we have so many amazing walks and views within ten minutes of the house. But I dislike how isolated we are - we have no chains or fast food places, or even a cinema.

What's a Halloween movie that you enjoy? The Addams Family.

Would you say you're more confident now than you were 5 years ago? Yes, most definitely. My life is SO much better nowadays.

Have you ever or would you try carrot bacon? I assume that’s some weird veggie bacon? I’d probably try it but I wouldn’t expect to like it or anything lol.

What's the last thing you purchased that was frozen? Chicken nuggets.

Would you ever walk a runway if given the opportunity? If I was being paid, sure.

When did you last do something that scared you? I had to cancel two days of work at the beginning of the week as I had a really awful virus and I felt SO bad messaging people. Everyone was so nice about it but I was still shitting myself hah.

What is something that you're curious about? Why criminals/serial killers do the things they do.

What time do you usually eat breakfast? About 30 minutes after I get up, which could be anytime between half seven and half ten depending on the day of the week.

What is something you done as a child that you would never do now? Call a teacher “mum”.

What's been your favorite memory of 2022? Galloping down the beach in the September sunshine.

When were you last inside a tall building? Uhh, years ago probably.

Is it currently quiet in the room you're in? No - the TV is on and Archie and Purrlock are both snoring.

Is there someone you can honestly say you hate or have hated? No.

What's currently on your mind? I gotta pee.

Would you consider yourself to be a messy person? No - I’m the total opposite as a rule.

Would those closest to you say you talk too much or not much at all? Not much at all.

Do you have a song you cannot listen to anymore due to a bad memory? Nope.

Have you ever had a candlelit dinner? Yeah, they’re pretty overrated IMO.

Do you need to apologize for something or are you waiting on an apology? Nope, neither of those apply to me right now. What's something you strongly believe in? Religion is dangerous and does more bad than good.

Do you have a dream that is close to being accomplished? Hmm, not close exactly, but it’s definitely something I’m working towards.

Would you say you're in a good place mentally? Yeah, absolutely. My mental health has improved SO much over the last few years. When did you first start feeling more grown up? When I moved out and went off to university.

What kind of chapstick do you use? Vaseline or Burts Bees.

How many pillows do you prefer to sleep with? Lately two regular pillows and like, a small cushion on top.

What is something you've kept bottled up for a long time that you now have released? Nothing comes to mind.

Have you ever broken a cell phone charger? I feel like I’m always breaking phone chargers lol.

[writingforatwistedworld]

(Unless the letter seems short, I suppose this would fit in the write your heart out category. Also, the reader has been transported to the world of Twisted Wonderland.)

Dear Malleus,

First of all, I’d like to thank you for being such a kind friend to me and helping me so much ever since I came to this world. I’ll probably never be able to repay you for everything you did to make Ramshackle a livable, cozy place to be. Spending time with you is also really fun, and it often even distracts me from the stress and pain of being alone away from my family. I appreciate that you always stick with me and never judge me for my atypical autistic behavior. You never got weirded out, even when I admitted that I had known you as a character in a mobile game that I used to believe was only fictional before I ended up this world.

There are a couple of reasons I wrote this letter. Both reasons are things in my head keeping me up at night, though one does so in a better way than the other. I should admit that I’ve got a crush on you. In my old world, it was just a crush on a fictional character, but spending time with you in person is only making my feelings grow bigger. Spending time with you is always fun, and I often lose track of time when we’re deep in a discussion. If you have a chance of liking me back that way, could you please let me know?

My other reason is that I would like to please ask for your help with understanding a few things that have me stressed lately. People have been telling me lately that I’m apparently some historical figure that others look up to despite the fact I’ve never been here before. Ace let it slip that I apparently inspired the Queen of Hearts herself despite not being here or having any memory of it. He told me he didn’t know how it happened even though he insisted it was me. I thought he was playing a prank on me at first before Riddle backed up the story and said the throne of his country is actually for me to occupy! The high esteem they hold me in is slightly flattering, but it’s even more confusing since I don’t know how this even happened or how I could deserve it. I’m worried about it too. I was never someone of any significance back in the world I’m from, so what would happen if people finally realized they made a mistake in thinking I’m whoever this historical figure is? I’m afraid about what will happen the moment I fail to meet the high expectations they all have of me. Then I heard the mention of wars waged in my apparent honor. I haven’t been sleeping well lately thanks to the stress.

I’ve even been told there’s a religion about me in the Valley of Thorns and the country Idia is from. You’re the closest knowledgeable person I could think of to ask why all this happened without fearing you’d be offended by my ignorance. If my inquiries do end up offending you due to religious beliefs, I’m sorry. If it’s okay though, can we please discuss this over ice cream?

Sincerely,

Reader

Self-aware au

I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, unhealthy relationship, religion, war, obsession, possessiveness

Malleus Draconia-Loving confessions

Hearing a knock on the door you went towards it to open it. It was weird to see a new, polished one of dark wood and artistic iron decorations (that had to be iron and not... silver... right??!) instead of the old, always looking like it would collapse anytime soon one. Opening it you saw Lilia, Malleus guardian in front of it, holding a letter out to you as if he was delivering something of unimaginable worth. Thanking him you took it. Just as you were to ask him if he would like something to drink as a thanks he was already gone. Staring at the spot on which he was standing just moments ago. Coming to the conclusion that there was nothing you could do to make more sense of the situation you returned once more inside, the letter heavy in your hands.

Dear Overseer,

after I read your letter I was not sure how to respond but I think I was able to come up with answers worthy of your questions. But before that, I would like to express that within all those emotions I felt was unbridled joy also one of them. Being the one who has the honor of receiving the affection of our dear Overseer! I had to ask Lilia if I had tried to curse someone with the curse of my ancestor and somehow hit with it myself but no, it was all real. Me taking care of your holiness wellbeing was the least I could have done. In comparison to what you had done for us all this is nothing. I can only imagine how painful it must have been for you to be separated from your loved ones. On this occasion I would like to ask if you could tell the church your roots. We pray to you day after day and yet, you are still a mystery to us.

However, I do not dare to make you wait any longer. As such, let us begin.

I am afraid to tell you that you most likely lost your memories of all your deeds. We, your loyal followers, have recorded everything you ha done and made sure that no one would dare to speak false words of you. To some you are a God and to some, you are an important figure but in the end you are always the one who did important deeds which would shape our world forever. Thus the praises which you get are earned. Let us discuss what you are still able to remember and what was erased from your memory. I can assure you that you, my dearest, are the Overseer everyone is talking about. We Faes always had a close bond with you and as such I know that it is you.

The Queendom of Roses is one of those who decided to stay ignorant yet also took notice of your unlimited wisdom. Their throne was vacant the moment after you whispered how she was meant to rule, creating peace and order in a place which was the opposite of that. In cold light its diamonds and silk are waiting to be bestowed with your presence and yet, the throne stays vacant. Waiting for the true ruler. Waiting for the one who led a country of chaos with perfection and a gaze that was colder than the peaks of the highest mountains and hotter than the fire of a dragon. The perfect ruler. I hope that I can witness the grace one day upon a throne. Whether that one would be the one in the Queendom or in my beloved Valley.

You call us “characters from a mobile game”. I apologize but, what is that. Is our world in some sort of competition with other ones? Are you in one with other Gods? If that is the case then allow me to write a letter back home. My homeland shall call upon every general capable of assisting in this. I assume it is another holy war between you Gods? In the next meeting we shall discuss the enemy and our best strategies. The Valley of Thorns is at your disposal.

I hope you can sleep well after hearing my answers. If not then I wouldn't mind using a spell. Do not worry, I would never use that curse on you.

But now to that confession. I already told you that I felt honored to be the one you favor and I return your affections. There is nothing else in this world that could make me so happy as you did with those words. I already wrote to my grandmother that she should start with the preparations for our wedding. Do not worry, you will be immediately accepted as the Valleys future ruler besides me.

I look forward to our next meeting.

Until then I wish you the best.

With love and admiration,

Malleus Draconia

[demigodofhoolemere]

Being LDS on this website that’s obsessed with finding fault in different groups of people means you’re subjected — semi-frequently, at complete random, and by random blogs so you can’t follow a pattern back to one person to unfollow — to posts that are like

“Mormonism is a cult because-" *insert a) something the church doesn’t teach, b) a claim about how the church is controlling and forces its members to do things they don’t make you do, like cut off contact with nonmembers or something similarly crazy, or c) completely innocuous thing that’s completely normal for any religion to ask of its adherents*

“Mormons are crazy because-" *insert a) something that has literally never been taught as doctrine ever that was either made up about us or spread by weird members in the past who didn’t know what they were talking about and people held onto that instead of listening to corrections regarding it, or b) something taken wildly out of context or worded in a way to purposefully make it sound nuts and which makes way more sense if you’d actually bother to listen to someone try to explain it*

“Exmo here, yeah the church is horrible because-" *insert a) personal experience with individuals doing xyz that is certainly unfortunate but has nothing to do with the church as a whole or its doctrine, or b) wild claims that you KNOW this person is lying about because you literally grew up in the same faith as they did and were taught the same things and you know they’re spouting some serious garbage about what we supposedly believe but of course everyone is going to trust the person who talks like a cult survivor so there’s nothing you can do about it*

And you sit there having to either ignore it (DIFFICULT) or find the courage to message the person who reblogged it to gently explain why the post is wrong (does not go well half the time).

No, the church does not fit the BITE model for a cult (literally the only few parts of the list you could say it matches are the few that are true of literally any religion and do not scream ‘cult’). No, you do not need a lawyer to get your records removed, anyone offering those services is scamming you for money because you can literally just ask your local leaders to have it done. No, we do not genuinely believe that insane Bigfoot Cain folk story or anything else like it. And frankly, sometimes people who leave just lie. That happens. It does not make me brainwashed to say that someone who left the church and is spreading obvious crap about things we don’t really teach or believe is indeed lying and it’s frustrating to no end that the automatic reaction from so many people is that you must be the crazy one, meanwhile you’re sitting there being gaslit about your own beliefs as they go ‘Mormons teach/believe xyz’ ‘no we don’t’ ‘yes you do’ ‘we literally don’t though’ ‘shut up you’re just brainwashed’ ‘????’. Have you ever seen a divorced person spread bad rumors about their ex that are not true? Yeah.

(And before anyone goes, ‘Hey, she’s trying to invalidate the stories of people who left, that’s clearly a cultist!’, I’m referring strictly to people who make false claims about what we teach that can be easily verified as false. There are bitter people out there who do that. I’m all for listening to people who have had bad experiences with other members in the church, absolutely nothing but sympathy and love towards those who have genuinely been hurt in one way or another, and yes there are cultural things especially in Utah that have needed or still do need shifting. But as always, the same is true of literally any religion or just any group of human beings in general because a lot of the time human beings kind of suck. The church isn’t special for this. It’s just as filled with flawed people who need to repent as any other group of people on the planet and that’s no secret. There’s a reason we’re always encouraged by our leaders to continue to become better and to try to be more Christlike than we often are, and the vast majority of members are absolutely trying to live by that and it’s not fair to judge those millions of people by the ones who don’t behave as they should. You can believe the stories of people who have had bad experiences without making out 16 million other people to be horrible. Everything would be a cult if the qualification for that was to have some bad apples in your midst.)

It doesn’t take much to look at different sources to see if there’s another side to a story or another explanation for something that sounds weird. You don’t even have to look through church websites for it, you can literally just ask members if you know any. In fact PLEASE just ask us because I lose my mind a little more every time I see someone just looking at sources that are total confirmation biases against us. Ask faithful, practicing members if they’re really forced to do xyz or ask them to explain something weird you heard. We’re not exactly secretive or shy about explaining our beliefs (hence the missionaries lol), we’ll do it. Heck, I’ve got anxiety through the roof about answering questions because I’m scared I’ll word something poorly but even I will still do it, I’d rather face my fears and respond imperfectly than let someone go around thinking something that’s not true. As long as you’re asking genuinely out of curiosity to hear our perspective and not trying to just poke at our faith and be a jerk, you’ll get people who are willing to answer you and have a reasonable discussion without trying to convert you or something.

Aaaanyway. If you couldn’t tell, I’ve now seen two different posts from two different people today being negative about my faith, so. I’m tired. If you’re so inclined please pray for my ability to feel close to Christ, have love for people I disagree with, and be patient with nonsense lol. Goodness knows I need help with that sometimes. Especially right now since I apparently had enough frustration in me to write this whole thing lol.

[inimikal-archive]

🔥🔥

🔥 :  No  one  should  have  to  give  out  personal  information  about  themselves  online,  least  of  all  as  “credentials”  for  why  they  should  or  shouldn’t  be  allowed  to  rp  a  muse  or  genre.  People  should  not  ever  be  required  to  reveal  details  of  their  trauma,  their  race,  mental  illness,  neurodivergence,  religion,  sexuality   etc  to  be  valid.  People  who  only  give  basic  info  like  penname,  age  &  pronouns  are  doing  it  right.  &  thats  how  it  should  be.  Its  beyond  weird  that  we’re  now  expected  to  give  out  that  kind  of  info  literally  to  protect  ourselves  because  people  are  always  hyper-scrutinizing  every  single  person  they  come  across  &  assuming  utter  evil  in  anything  they  do  &  are  in  an  active  search  for  reasons  to  validate  their  own  inappropriate,  unhealthy  paranoia. 

 I  do  not  judge  ANYONE  who  lists  more  about  themselves  than  name,  age  &  pronouns  &  I  don’t  think  its  necessarily  “cringy”  to  give  more  than  that,  because  I  know  from  experience  the  alternative  is  people  trying  their  hardest  to  demonise  a  lack  of  information  &  often  succeeding  because  this  is  just  how  the  rpc  is  now. 

🔥 :  I  do  not  trust  people  who  e-beg  in  the  rpc  &  I  never  donate  money  to  anyone  anymore.  Too  often  I’ve  seen  tumblr  rpc  e-beggers  turn  out  to  be  toxic  scam  artists  who  are  quite  literally  preying  on  the  sympathy  &  gullibility  of  people  in  the  rpc,  usually  those  who  are  ND,  mentally  ill  or  actually  doing  it  rough,  &  I’ve  also  known  &  experienced  people  to  use  e-begging  to  collect  personal  info  about  other  rpers  that  they  can  easily  gather  via  paypal  transactions/donations  such  as  real  first  &  last  names  (dead-names  as  well)  &  locations  &  whatnot,  which  can  then  be  searched  up  on  sites  like  facebook  to  find  rpers  IRL  &  I  don’t  think  I  should  have  to  detail  how  horrifically  dangerous  this  is  on  top  of  being  like  the  ultimate  breach  of  privacy.  My  ex  stalker  used  to  do  this  stuff  which  is  why  I’m  so  very  cautious  of  it.   Which,  on  a  similar  note  I  urge  everyone  in  the  rpc  to  be  very,  very  careful  when  sending  money  to  people,  even  for  services.  You  don’t  realise  it  but  this  can  expose  a  lot  of  sensitive  information  about  yourself  &  in  the  wrong  hands  it  can  be  devastating.