#which isnt my fault its the person who is sharing commercial use pics for free’s fault for being dumb and doing that but
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#2am thots but: im literally so over the photo thinf#i just wanna do graphic design for a while like.#im so fucking TIRED of knowing that im good and then either having people get hired over me who are AWFUL and gimmicky to death#OR getting hired and then someone who’s better than me shows up to shoot for fucking free#which isnt my fault its the person who is sharing commercial use pics for free’s fault for being dumb and doing that but#thats the nature of this industry#and then i get embarassed to hell and back because the band posts the other persons photos instead and i get embarassed to death#that the label PAID ME and is probably so angry cause they couldve just not and gotten better pics free#there are so few situations where i’m working a job thats exciting AND i feel secure in#and its just not worth it#like its just too fucking competitive#my imposter syndrome and the pressure i put on myself is HORRIBLE#and like it makes me happier than anything else when its going well hut like#its fucking never going well anymore i am fully Too Soft For All Of It#literally the only time im happy when im taking pics for money anymore is taylor nights lmao#it does not spark joy anymore when you factor it all in it just doesn’t
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