#which was kinda bananas and totally unexpected

[cayennecrush]

some old hollow knight doodles i found on my pc! 🕷️and a few jackies lol

[mypoisonedvine]

It’s Always The Quiet Ones... | college AU dark!Peter Parker x (slightly)naive!reader

for @nsfwsebbie​​‘s dream fic challenge, I was assigned to write something for @harryspet​​ which was vv exciting bc I love her stuff ;-; no pressure right? lol (also thank you to @evnscvll​​ for being my proofreader, sounding board, and partner for some very strange texting for the purpose of screenshots!)

Here is the prompt I got: peter is a dork and is weird and quiet, and the readers friends dared her to sleep with him. turns out he was really kinky and is really good at sex. can be dark.  And hoo boy, did I run with that.  I hope you like it!!

Word Count: 4.4k

Warnings: smut (it’s consensual but with dubcon undertones, manipulation, and implied coercion/dubcon at the end), stalking, blackmail, voyeurism, and general creepiness.  Oh yeah and there’s some degradation and dacryphilia in there for good measure.

You and your friends were in the middle of your daily cafeteria lunch, chatting about the same sorts of small talk you always did.  

“Oh god, it’s that weird guy from class!” Jackie blurted out suddenly around a mouthful of fries, pulling you out of the conversation you’d been having.  Everyone at the table whipped around and your eyes went wide. 

“Come on, don’t look all at once,” you hissed.  

“Who is this guy?” Cody asked, looking around with confusion.

“The guy in the blue hoodie over there,” Jackie answered, motioning toward him with her head.  It was Peter, setting down his tray of food and opening up his laptop, putting earbuds in.  He was pretty much always on his laptop, it seemed like.  He took a bite of his pizza before getting back to whatever he was working on.

“He looks normal, or normal-ish,” Mia shrugged.  

“No, no, you don’t get it,” you shook your head.  “We have him in Computational Physics on Tuesdays and Thursdays--”

“Plus Friday lab,” Jackie interjected.

“--and he’s… kinda…”

“Creepy,” Jackie concluded.

“No,” you denied, “not creepy.  He’s just… a bit awkward, I guess.”

“And he stares at you, like, the entire time we’re in class.  But won’t even talk to you.”

“Oh, that’s weird,” Mia agreed with a shudder.

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, “it’s kinda… sweet, maybe?  I mean, he’s just shy, right?”

“Oh my god you are such a slag!” Jackie teased, shoving you on the shoulder.  “You’re into him, aren’t you?”

“No!” you denied with wide eyes.  

“You’re just into the attention,” Cody rolled his eyes.

“I mean, it’s kind of flattering, isn’t it?” you admitted.  Jackie laughed.

“You should go over there and talk to him,” she decided.

“Nooooooooo, no way,” you shake your head.

“I kinda wanna see this,” Cody smirks.

“Literally just go over there and flirt with him, his head would explode,” Jackie suggested excitedly.

“I don’t even know how to flirt,” you chuckled.

“So you’re considering it!” Mia accused.

“I didn’t say that!” you squeaked.

“Pleeeeeease,” Jackie whined playfully.  “It’ll be funny.”

“I don’t usually sleep with people for comedic effect.”

“I’ll chip in $20 if you do it,” she offered immediately.  She turned to the rest of the table, “come on guys, we need to pool together and make her do it.”

“I’ve only got a ten,” Cody mumbled, pulling it out slowly before Jackie snatched it away.

“Okay, $30, who can make it $50?”

“Jackie, calm down,” you hissed.

“You’re telling me you wouldn’t sleep with him for $50?  He’s cute!”

“I have $35 and 67 cents,” Mia counted, shuffling through her wallet.

“Oh my god,” you groaned, your head falling into your hands.

“Just do it, for me,” Jackie said, suddenly sounding oddly serious.  You didn’t understand why it mattered so much, but you decided it couldn’t be that bad if you just did it.

“Fine, fine, just shut up and don’t stare at us,” you instructed, getting up to a ruckus of cheers.  You didn’t even take the money.

You walked across the cafeteria, messenger bag slung over your shoulder, and hoped you wouldn’t totally make an idiot of yourself.  If you hadn’t already just by talking to a guy over a dare.

He didn’t seem to notice you when you stood by his table, still focusing on his computer.

“Um, hey,” you waved, and Peter looked up at you as he took out his earbuds.

“Hi,” he replied quickly.

“What… what are you working on?” you asked, motioning to the laptop.  He didn’t stop looking at you, and he didn’t say anything.  “I… we have comp together?  You know who I am, right?”

“O-of course I do!” he suddenly perked up.  “Yeah, I just…” he trailed off and turned to his laptop.  “I was just working on this model.”

“Can I take a look?” 

He smiled a little, and moved his backpack out of the seat next to him.  “Go ahead!”

You sat down and leaned in to look at his screen.  

“It’s-- it’s not finished but, basically I just put the kinetic energy of an object on the x-axis, the potential energy on the y-axis--” 

You used the laptop’s touch screen to move the model around, impressed with his work.  “And the z-axis is the conservation of energy for work done on an object,” you finished.  

“Uh, yeah, exactly,” he nodded.

“It’s beautiful!” you realized, appreciating the variety of colors as each data point was suspended in the graph.  

“Do you do any modeling?” he asked you, and for a hot second it felt like a line.

“Um,” you laughed, “no, not much at least.  Nothing extracurricular.”

“Oh.”

“I’m more into abstract math, if I’m being honest.”

He smiled.  “Oh, you’re one of those.”

You laughed, shoving him on the shoulder playfully, but regretting it as you saw his smile drop a bit.  “People are so judgmental about abstract math, as if it isn’t the study of the founding principles of mathematics.”

“So you think adding a pineapple and a banana is the foundation of mathematics?” he quirked an eyebrow.

“Okay, there’s so much more to abstract mathematics than weird variables,” you frowned.  “Like basic functions on matrices!  Don’t act like it isn’t dope as fuck to add, subtract, multiply and divide matrices.  If you saw my whiteboard in my dorm you would understand.”

“If I had a whiteboard now I could prove to you that abstract math is overrated,” he countered.

“I’d love to see you try,” you scoffed.  You hadn’t really meant it literally.  

“I don’t have anything for the rest of the day,” he shrugged.  It took you a moment to realize he was suggesting to actually come to your room and talk about math.  You weren’t sure if that was even what would happen if you went back to your dorm…

You opened your mouth to say that you were busy, that you couldn’t, that you shouldn’t, so you were a little surprised when you heard yourself say “sure” instead.

And that was how you ended up sitting on your kitchen counter with Peter Parker between your legs, kissing you like you’d never been kissed before.

It sort of happened all at once.  He just grabbed you and you were confused but went with it, because life is short and he was cute and his hands felt unexpectedly wonderful as they gripped your back.

You gasped a bit when he started to pull your shirt over your head but he didn’t slow down, quickly removing his own-- oh, hello there six-pack, nice to meet you-- kissing you again as he wrapped his hands around your waist and slid you off the counter, guiding your legs to wrap around his hips.  He carried you to the bedroom with unexpected grace; he was so much stronger than he looked.  And he looked different than he ever had before as he tossed you down onto your bed and started to kiss his way down your abdomen while his fingers slipped under the waistband of your shorts.

“Oh god, Peter!” you yelped as he kissed along your thighs, pulling down your shorts and underwear and tossing them to the side.

“Say my name again,” he demanded before instantly latching onto your clit, sucking and licking directly onto the bundle of nerves.

And you really had no choice in the matter, his name pouring from your lips over and over, accentuated with a yelp as he shoved two fingers into you, finding and massaging your g-spot before you could even process everything you were feeling.

“Oh my god, fuck, Peter!” you hissed, your head falling back onto the mattress so hard it bounced a little.

You were barreling towards an orgasm faster than you probably ever had before.  This was nothing like the few other hook-ups you’d had since starting college-- it wasn’t even like the times you’d been alone with your hand or a vibrator.  This was like an assault on the senses, so powerful that you couldn’t even really keep track of the sounds you were making or anything that wasn’t his mouth on you and his fingers in you.

“I’m gonna come, oh my god, I’m gonna come don’t stop please--” you moaned as your words turned into mostly incoherent nonsense.  How could you be expected to form a sentence in these conditions?

Thankfully, he didn’t stop.  He kept lapping at your clit as if he hadn’t even noticed your pleading, his fingers twisting inside you even as your walls clenched so tightly around them that it became difficult to keep up the pace.  Your hips involuntarily bucked against his face, your legs quivered as he refused to give you any reprieve from the sensation, but he kept going.

“Oh fuck, fuckfuckfuck Peter I can’t-- it’s too much-- oh god,” you babbled, but it fell on deaf ears.  A small part of your brain was confused why he wouldn’t stop-- you hadn’t told him outright to stop but it was kind of implied, right?  Wasn’t it some amount of not okay that he was still going?  It made your gut sink in a way that was equal parts disturbing and erotic.  

You were trying to pull away but his arms wrapped around your thighs and held you down.  God, he was strong.  He looked kind of skinny in those hoodies he was usually wearing, but now that he was actually exerting some force he was clearly muscular.  You felt helpless and it, oddly enough, turned you on.

“Peter, please, oh my god, slow down I-- I can’t take any more,” you whimpered; your voice came out all high-pitched and squeaky and it would’ve been embarrassing if you had enough brainpower left to care.  

He groaned against your skin but said nothing, using his teeth to lightly graze your clit.  Your whole body jerked at that, a sob tearing from your lips suddenly.  It felt like you were past the point of orgasm now and just lost in some sort of aggressively intense world of pleasure-- it neared pain, really.  You had never been pushed to your limits like this; you hadn’t even realized that there were limits which one could be pushed to this way!  It was exhilarating and exhausting and overwhelming.  You fought tears from forming because it would be so embarrassing to cry right now, and he would probably freak out and think you were hurt or something… maybe you were hurt, you couldn’t even tell at this point.  But at this point, it was unstoppable.  You were fucking crying from the overstimulation and he hadn’t even put his cock in you yet.  Your face was so hot that your own tears felt cool as they poured down your cheeks.

Finally, he stopped when he heard your sobs.  But instead of concern or fear or confusion, his expression was simply joy.

“Oh, you look so cute when you cry,” he cooed, sliding back up your body to kiss your tears away as they fell.  Then he kissed your mouth, open and sloppy and aggressive, and the taste of yourself on his tongue made your head spin.

Before you could collect your thoughts, he pulled back and made quick work of his jeans and boxers-- fuck, he was big.  

“You’re too kind,” he grinned, discarding the clothes and stroking his cock a few times.

You hadn’t realized you had said it out loud, and you felt a little nervous but then he was on you again, kissing you roughly and forcing his tongue into your mouth.  You felt him reaching down, gripping his cock and rubbing it through your folds.  You were soaked, and swollen, and nearly sore.  Every time the tip slid over your clit, you jumped a little.

He pushed into you ever so slightly, moving the head of his cock inside you and nothing more.  You whined with confusion and anticipation, but he continued on teasing you.

“Please,” you whimpered into his kiss.

He pulled back and looked down at you, his eyes blown so wide that they looked like they’d gone black.  “What was that?” he asked, and you sighed because you knew he could hear you the first time.

“Please, Peter,” you repeated, louder, “I need more.”

“More…?”

You sobbed with frustration, and desire.  “Fuck me, please.”

He thrusted forward and you groaned as his cock stretched you open.  It was like night and day, how he went from slowly teasing you to slamming into your eager walls.  You cried out and gripped at his arms, just trying to steady yourself and maybe stop your skull from whacking the headboard if possible.

“You love it, don’t you?  You love my cock,” he growled.  His voice was lower, gravelly.  He sounded like an entirely different person.

“Yes,” you replied weakly.

“Say it,” he demanded.

No one had ever talked to you like this before and it made your cheeks burn.  “I-- I love your cock,” you stammered.  

He smiled and you hoped you’d done it right, and that he wasn’t smiling at your obvious nervousness or lack of experience.  You didn’t understand how this was normally supposed to go, because you didn’t normally hook up with people so casually-- you had just never really been interested in it.  But now that he was fucking you so hard you could barely breathe, you were starting to get the appeal.  God, your last boyfriend hadn’t even made you come in five months of dating, meanwhile five minutes with Peter had made you a sobbing mess.  Even now you were biting your lip to hold back your tears from the sheer intensity of the sensations you were experiencing.

“Oh, you poor thing,” he pouted condescendingly.  “You don’t wanna cry but you can’t help it, huh?  You’re my dumb little crybaby aren’t you?”

You tried not to react to that but you knew he felt your walls clench suddenly.

“You like that?  You like being my stupid whore?”

“S-stop,” you begged weakly, feeling beyond humiliated.

“But you like it, angel, I can tell.  Don’t lie to me.”

He reached down to swirl his thumb over your clit, laughing at the way you tensed up and tried to squirm away.

“Is it too much princess?” he asked, but the nickname read less sweet and more mocking.  “Isn’t this what you wanted?  You asked me to fuck you.  Begged me.  Now you act like you can’t take it, like you’re this delicate little flower and not the dirty fucking whore I know you are.”

“I-- I’m not a whore,” you denied even as you struggled to suppress your obvious arousal from the derogatory nature of his words.  You felt a little guilty for being into it, and slightly insulted, but fuck if it didn’t make your back arch and your throat dry and your pussy so excessively wet.

“Oh, don’t play dumb,” he scoffed.  “But, maybe you’re not playing.  You really are dumb, aren’t you?”

You logically knew that it was too late to deny anything he said, but you still clung onto your dignity as best you could.  “N-no!”

“Not all the time, just when you’re wet.  Isn’t that right?  You get so desperate for cock and you don’t wanna be smart, you just wanna be somebody’s brainless fuckdoll.”

That sounded so appealing in some forbidden, filthy way and all of a sudden you were going to come again, any second now.

“Yes!” you nearly screamed, falling into your pleasure.

“Come on my cock, baby,” he encouraged, “come for me.”

You didn’t even sound like yourself with the noises you made, or maybe it was just that you’d never had the chance to make noises like that before.  Either way, your orgasm crashed through you and nearly punched the air out of your lungs.  Your toes went numb.  You didn’t even know that could happen.  And most important of all, your walls tensed and fluttered so hard that he began moaning into your ear.

“Fuck, ‘m gonna come inside you.”  You couldn’t tell if it was a warning, like he was asking permission, or if he was just informing you of his intentions which you would be powerless to stop even if you told him not to.  You didn’t have to find out because you were on the pill, but it made you realize all too suddenly that you should’ve had him put on a condom-- how could you have forgotten?

His moans turned hoarse and with a growl and a tightened grip on your hips, he spilled deep in you, coating your walls as his length flexed and twitched inside you.  For a moment you were just stuck like that, his weight holding you down as he caught his breath, and finally he rolled to the side and you could breathe cool air again.

“That was…” he began but trailed off, pulling you closer and kissing your shoulder.  “You’re amazing.”

It was quite the shift from how he had been talking before.  It was comforting, but you were still a little confused.  “Really?”

He laughed softly.  “Did you not notice?  God, I’ve wanted you for so long…”

You were curious about where he was going with that, but then he suddenly sat up.

“Do you want some water?” he offered.

“Uh, yeah,” you smiled.  “The cups are in the cabinet just to the left of the microwave.”

He nodded and gave you a quick peck on the cheek before sliding out of the bed, slipping his boxers on over his still-hard cock which was now coated in your come and his, and dashing out of the room.

You were mostly content to just lay there, although you felt uncharacteristically sore between your legs, and quite… sticky.  You glanced over to your whiteboard and realized he never had any intentions of talking with you about abstract math.  Was this just a one-time thing, or was he going to come back and ask you out?  Were you boyfriend and girlfriend now?  Or were you just a clueless romantic who thought that sleeping together meant more than it really did?

You rolled over and saw Peter’s phone resting on the bedside table.  He must have set it there when he was stripping quickly while you two had been making out-- or that’s what you were pretty sure the order of events had been, it had all happened so fast…

At that exact moment, the screen lit up with a notification.  You were about to roll back and not look at all, until you got a glimpse of the words.

PHYS 507, row 3, seat 14

You furrowed your brow.  It looked like an alert for an upcoming class, except that this was your class, the one you had with him, and it wasn’t until tomorrow.  No assignments due today, either.  And what was with the row/seat thing?  Peter didn’t sit in the third row… you did.

You picked up the phone just enough to angle it to see the rest of the notification.  It wasn’t a calendar alert; it was a text message.  “PHYS 507, row 3, seat 14” was the contact name.  You could only get a preview of the message…

okay, it’s done isn’t it?  can you please delete those pic….

You were curious, or maybe just concerned.  Was the seat number supposed to be the person texting him?  How were you supposed to keep track of who sat where to know who it was?

It had to be somebody from your row, but it was just you, Jackie, and a bunch of random dudes that Peter had never seemed to have any interaction with.

You assumed you wouldn’t be able to unlock the phone to even try to snoop, which you didn’t want to do anyways, but when you slid your thumb over the screen, you gasped when it opened straight to the conversation.  Who didn’t put a password on their phone?

okay, it’s done isn’t it?  can you please delete those pictures now?  I did what you asked.  I won’t tell anyone.  just send me proof that the photos are gone, please.

You felt a little sick.  You had no idea what this meant but it scared you.  You saw the conversation from before but it didn’t make any sense.  You scrolled back up to try to figure out what they were talking about and gasped when you saw a picture Peter had sent to the contact.

It was Jackie.  But she wasn’t alone.  She was on her knees in the lab room, and you gagged when you realized what she was doing-- or really, who she was doing it to.  

She’d told you she had a casual thing with a new guy but refused to say who it was.  You realized why now.  She was fucking your professor, and you just knew she was doing it to get a better grade.  You had been trying to figure out how she was earning higher marks than you but never seemed to be able to discuss the class material.  It all made sense now, but it wasn’t a comforting feeling.

You scrolled down a bit to see the conversation after the photo, and your blood went cold as you read it.

You saw several more messages but you couldn’t bring yourself to read any of it.  You knew everything you needed to know.

You weren’t sure what inspired you to open his camera roll… of course you wouldn’t find anything comforting there.  But you had to see for yourself.

It was just a list of folders, so many you could keep scrolling for ages.  Each had a label and a thumbnail image.

The thumbnail of Jackie on her knees jumped out first.  PHYS 507, row 3, seat 14.  45 images.

A girl in a lacy bra posing for the camera.  PHYS 509, row 1, seat 8.  12 images.

Two girls making out in a crowded room, holding red solo cups.  ENGL 104, row 12, seat 5.  6 images.

A nude selfie in front of a mirror.  PHIL 108, row 2, seat 2.  14 images.

And then the one that made your heart stop.  It was a picture of you in a bikini, taken by a friend on spring break.  PHYS 507, row 3, seat 13.  1 image.

The second you jumped up, dropping the phone, he was there with your promised glass of water in hand.  

“What’s wrong?” he asked innocently.  Just a second of silence was enough for him to pick up his phone from the floor and realize what had happened with a grin.  “Oh, that,” he sighed, slipping it into his pocket after looking down at it with a sort of loving look, like he was proud of his work.  “I suppose it’s my fault for leaving my phone right there, without a password, knowing I would get a text from Jackie any minute.”

“You wanted me to see it,” you grimaced, “you wanted me to see what you did to my friend.  What you did to all those girls.”

“I didn’t do anything.  They do all the heavy lifting, I just hack them and get pictures of it.  Or, in your friend’s case, I hack them, find out they’re fucking the professor, and follow them to their next rendezvous.”

“You’re fucking sick,” you spat, and he just shrugged.  “You’d better delete those photos of Jackie.”

“I will, don’t worry,” he soothed.  “It’s a shame though, she was pretty prolific.  You, on the other hand, you’re a good girl.  You even had pretty good security, I respect that.  Here’s a tip: your ISP creates the intranet that your wireless webcam uses to connect to your laptop.  It’s password protected, but it defaults to your phone number, and most people never change it.  Including yourself.”

You shivered.  “You watched me with it, didn’t you?”

“Well, I had to since you didn’t have any good photos of yourself.  And you do a decent job of erasing your porn history… but not a perfect job.  You watch some interesting stuff.  And you look so hot with your hand stuffed in your panties, rubbing yourself to whatever nasty shit you’re watching...”

“Shut up,” you demanded, covering your ears, “stop, please.  This is so fucked up.”

He laughed a little.  “You look better in person though.  A webcam could never capture how perfect you look when you come.”

“Please just stop,” you sobbed.

“Stop what?  I’m just telling you the truth.”

“I should’ve listened to my friends.  You’re a freak.”

“Hmm, you seemed to like it before.”

“Just delete those pictures of Jackie… and let me go…” you seethed.

“I will,” he promised.  “But, I need something to make up for the loss of some great spank bank material.”

You felt sick.  But what else was new?

“I need to finally get some good pictures of you.  Come on, isn’t it sad that your folder is so empty?” he pouted, pulling the phone back out from his pocket. “I could ruin a lot of lives with these folders.  Just let me take a few photos and you can spare them all the humiliation.  Nothing I haven’t seen you do before.”

You really really wanted to just deck him, but you knew he could probably release those photos with just one push of a button.  He was prepared.

“Don’t post them,” you pleaded.

“You’ll be good?”

You clenched your jaw.  “I’ll be good,” you answered through your teeth.

“Oh, look at you,” he cooed, “such a sweet girl you are.  Helping out your friend even after she threw you into the lion’s den to protect her secret.”

You hadn’t thought about it that way.  A pit formed in your stomach.

“Now come over here and get on your knees,” he grinned, turning on the camera.    

[jancys-blue-bayou]

I dislike Robin on principle of her being both annoying and pushing Stancy (why?? Bitch, you don’t even know Jonathan OR Nancy what’s your agenda??) but making her gay in s3 was the worst decision. Her and Steve could be happily shacked up by now, doing their own shit and leaving Nancy the hell alone. I think s3 Robin (s4 Robin has had a personality transplant apparently) and Steve would have made a really good couple. But Maya said jump and the Duffers said how high and now she’s the annoying rambling pointless sidekick pushing her bff back towards his ex and taking up valuable screen time from OGs and I haaaate it all.

But you can’t say that making Robin a lesbian was a poor choice from a narrative pov or you’ll get ripped to shreds.

Hmm I mean, Maya's decision to make Robin gay was the only slightly interesting thing about the character I think though. Like I actually didn't see that coming in s3. She really seemed like a total Mary Sue type girlfriend for Steve (she was still a Mary Sue just not Steve's gf then). It was so boring watching the "oh smart girl who doesn't like dumbass Steve will eventually warm up to him. That's still what happened but Robin being gay and it thus only being a platonic thing was at least unexpected. But still the main purpose of her character is to prop up Steve, she's just around to remark what a swell guy Steve is and further the meme-ification of Steve. And them changing the character around completely in s4 based off of Maya is really weird.

But at the same time I thought the characterization was worse in s3 when she was a perfect Mary Sue and also made no sense. The whole Robin can translate Russian to English because she... knows French is the single most ridiculous piece of writing detail I can remember, it's just bananas how completely severed from reality that is (yes it's a show about monster but the actual based in reality part of the show needs... to be based in reality), the closeted small town lesbian feeling comfortable coming out to the alpha male dumbass cishet jock was also kinda ?? and it ofc completely glossed over that Steve in s1 was blatantly homophobic. Yes Steve's chaaanged and all now but still, it's still the 80s and that's never been adressed, just bc Steve realized he was being an asshole to Nancy and Jonathan doesn't mean he also had some epiphany about his homophobia (which I doubt he'd ever even consider really, it was just the norm for a cishet guy like him in the 80s to be like that).

It also makes no sense when they all meet up in s3 and Nancy is like "who are you?" to Robin, they're supposed to be in the same grade in the same high school in the same small ass town, they'd definitely know each other (obv this isn't against Robin, just an aside I thought of).

So yeah, I mean my real problem is with how they've completely overstuffed the show with waaaaay too many characters, shoving important OG characters into the background, and Robin is one of those new characters that is part of this problem. With her specifically I have to above mentioned problems of the writing for her making no sense, her being a Mary Sue in s3, completely different character in s4. But yeah mostly that her main purpose is to prop up Steve, to walk around and talk about how great Steve is, to push Nancy towards Steve, and Steve looking good through their friendship. So even if she didn't end up being the love interest for Steve she was slated to be she still mostly exists to prop up Steve.

Finally just want to be clear, please note that none of my issues with Robin is about her sexuality ofc, just with how the Duffers write her and her role on the show. You gotta be able criticize the writing of LGBT characters also,

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom, season 3 episodes 3-6 thoughts!

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-johnny was actually pretty civil with danny and left when he asked! thats nice. also, SKULKER?? HAD A FRAMED PICTURE OF EMBER?? oooo fuck wait had they established they were a Thing Before?? I dont think so. thats weird. its like that country boy/goth girl meme lmfao. I think i am going to choose to ignore this new info and pretend I didnt hear it. 100% unrelated to the jazz/ember fanart I already drew and posted....😳

-LADIES NIGHT EPISODE THIS IS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT. wish it didnt really center around the guys or them being pissed at them, but. willing to bet this was written by men lol

-THEY ERASED ALL THE MEN??? meanwhile, jack and danny are fishing at. silent hill or something. im glad jack is trying to read a parenting book and making an Attempt. (theyre at lake erie, but, they made it actually eerie...thats fun)

-the girls alt outfits...cute. EMBER MADE A NEW SONG TOO!!! kinda. jazz being one of the backup singers and being AWFUL. NOOOO

-'how are we going to get kitty to blow a kiss?' 'she'll have to think there are still some males in town!' ...i dont know how to break it to you, but I dont know that a 100% het girl would wish for all men to Begone. I think. I mean im not a het or a girl so I dont really know for sure. she Is probably Bi tho. esp having the other ladies in town chanting NO MEN!!! excitedly............(then again, the kiss is to get Rid of men, so, she probably would have blown it at the ladies only if they were actively trying to attack/stop them, so...I MEAN. THE DRESSING LIKE DANNY BIT WAS SO EXTRA)

-I feel like an all female cast ep couldve been way way way way cooler than that was. like. why was it still somehow all about Men. ...anyway. (where was valerie...)

-next ep opens with the observants, and, way way more of them than I expected...existed? I mean I guess them being a council/jury of some kind is what I expected from their first appearance (bc at that time they were basically TELLING clockwork to kill danny, not asking,, so I figured they had SOME kind of authority) but. there were so many. anyway, here goes vlad! letting his own hubris go brrrr. releasing a weather ghost for political gain! #justvladthings

-okay say what you will about him (he IS an asshole) but having an umbrella with his own face on it and more prepared to share is SUPER FUNNY. and him being fanned by huge wads of money by his bodyguards. SO ineffective but so Dramatic. He UNDERSTANDS that if youre rich you need to be. you know. obnoxious and kinda eccentric about it! fuckign hate when rich people are boring about it. I would trust vlad with nothing except to not be a boring rich asshole who wears...fucking khaki or some shit. man knows his Presentation Skills. and that 'V' chair in his mayoral office. is that fucking embroidered?

-maddie get your MAN PLEEEEASSSE. IM SO EMBARRASSED FOR HER. the way jack stays simping for this man. in FRONT OF HIS WIFE!!!! ...my god its like a love triangle. jack clearly loves vlad, who loves maddie, who loves jack. jack fenton is at the very least bi, right................. this is an OBSESSION . 'THE V MAN COMETH'???? i...my god. (also, on a serious note, to have a friend THIS SUPPORTIVE...and still be SUCH A DICK TO HIM (TRYING TO KILL HIM AND STEAL HIS WIFE??) NOT COOL VLAD. JACK IS YOUR 1 AND /ONLY/ HYPE MAN. if someone loved and supported me THIS HARD...LIKE. CMON DUDE.

-STOMP the fucking GAS, JACK

-this would make a great shirt design, looks like a metal band design! we love The Maelstrom

-oh, so vlad did in fact get a mansion in amity park. and its purple! good color choice! not as flashy as a CASTLE or MURDER CABIN, but still pretty eccentric, which I appreciate.

-...vlad knows the difference between picasso and da vinci? in the ep last post where we were watching him fail at conquering every historical time ever he didnt seem to know history well enough to like. be effective...was vlad taking art history at college?? (was he an art MAJOR??? we never DID KNOW WHAT HE WENT TO SCHOOL FOR. I kinda assumed business because in the masters of time ep he was still rich without ghost powers so he had to have..known something about business or something, right...but also, art and or theater FITS HIS PERSONALITY. possibly also something science-y, I guess, but I always felt like he got roped into that, esp how pessimistic he was about the ghost portal in the flashbacks to college, like, i felt like he was just there for maddie and was uninterested/un-invested at the time...)

-THIS GHOST JUST ELECTROCUTED MADDIE (THE CAT) BITCH!! THATS MY FAVORITE MADDIE!!! vlad going after vortex and being ~shocked~ .....WHEN. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN. THAT YOUR ACTIONS. HAVE CONSEQUENCES!!!

-the way this random man with a camera sees the mayor laying in an alley covered in TRASH AND DECIDES TO TAKE A PICTURE HAHAH

*snap* this ones going in my cringe compilation!

-vlad 'if we're going to defeat vortex, we're going to have to do it together!' *immediately dips after dropping danny off in front of vortex* JKASDFHKJHJKN

-DANNY CAN DUPLICATE!!! ...he couldnt even attack with it, but he DID IT!!! INTO (4) OF HIMSELF!!! SO PROUD!!!!!!!!!!

-'THE ROLLER COASTER EMOTIONS OF A TEENAGER THREATEN MY PLANS!' ...0 self awareness of his own dramatic moodiness. incredible, how dumb this man is. its very close to circling around to endearing, if he was less of an asshole. at least its very very funny to see danny shooting him with tiny lightning bolts anytime he's even slightly irritated! vlad you should be nice to danny anyway. this is what you GET

-...making sandwiches and ice cream and playing video games with your nephew is a totally normal thing. WHY is vlad acting like this is the end of the world. if you were a GOOD UNCLE YOU WOULD ALREADY BE DOING THESE THINGS!!! bitch I make my nephew food all the time and dont forget what he does and doesnt like. if u didnt know danny didnt want tomatoes, thats on u. if u, a grown adult, are gonna piss of the 14 yr old by not letting him win, u deserve to have to pay for the arcade machines he ruins because he now has uncontrollable storm powers because YOU THREW HIM INTO A FIGHT WITH THE STORM GHOST. fuck u vlad. paypal me $400,000 while ur at it tho. (also, gamer vlad confirmed)

-VLAD CAN COOK THOUGH???! I assumed he had...people working for him that did that. I mean. billionaires usually dont do that. then again, we've only seen those vultures working for him (and I guess the dairy king was AT his old mansion, but it was never really clarified if he worked there...I think he probably just Hung Out and they Enjoyed Cheeses Together. thats what I think, I dont think a KING would be working for anyone and also the dairy king was nice <3) but then again he would be a private person and we cant have anyone accidentally finding Ghostly Things, so...still, that's hilarious. pour one out for that really cute banana split that got ruined 2 seconds later

-vlad just fucking picking danny up and THROWING HIM AT VORTEX TWICE WITHIN LIKE A MINUTE. JUST ABSOLUTELY LAUNCHING HIM. BITCH THATS MY SON BE CAREFUL!!! HES GOT ORGANS AND THINGS!!!!

-danny seeing those animal commercials and feeling sad is the biggest 2000s throwback so far. i legitimately had to change the channel or walk out of the room when those came on bc id CRY AND BE SAD ABOUT THEM FOR DAYS AFTER. fuck those commercials and fuck that IN THE ARMMMS OF AN ANGELLLL song 😭

-'vlads ego almost got the town destroyed!' yes danny thats the entire episode. the entire series anytime vlad shows up honestly. this episode was just him being really embarrassing the entire time, and, me laughing about it. 10/10 would laugh at him again

-NEXT EP WE HAVE A SHAPESHIFTING GHOST?? I've said it before but shapeshifting is the power I would want when asked those 'what superpower do you want' questions...its the Best power! this guy looks like a homestuck character. ive never read homestuck but thats the vibe

-I love every time we see tuckers family, they are by far the most functional family. and dash has a lil chihuahua!!! named pookie!!! i am crying (I've had 3 chihuahuas, so I am very biased, but...) AND HE WATCHES THE ROMANCE CHANNEL WITH POOKIE. POOKIE I WILL DIE FOR YOU YOU SWEET LITTLE BABY.

-danny can lift a bus! I shouldn't be surprised, but i am proud of my son. hes got lil kid fans. i am going to cry about this

-JAZZ KEEPS A SCRAPBOOK WITH DANNY'S LIL HEROICS AND NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS!!! we've actually seen it on her floor before, but I didnt realize it was a scrapbook!! thats sooo cute.

-...and danny has to stand there listening to his parents saying danny phantom sucks and is a 'filthy ghost' and calling him egotistical...i am once again stealing their kids!

-THIS GHOST RIPPING JAZZ'S SCRAPBOOK!!! ILL KILL YOU. SHE WORKED HARD ON THAT!!! BITCH

-yes, maddie, the one with red eyes is For Sure Actually Your Son. ignore the, red eyes... (CLEARLY she hasnt watched the other 2 eps where danny has been evil, she doesnt know red eyes= evil!!!)

-'billy fenton'.......................

-danny being stuck as phantom in his own house, no way out is a fucking NIGHTMARE. his parents pointing giant weapons against him and SHOOTING AT HIM. THIS IS A HORROR MOVIE.

-NINE INCH NAILS POSTER.

-this is the most screenshot of all time

-amorpho turning into mr. lancer because hes 'someone no one will want to be around' BUT HES WRONG, I WOULD BEFRIEND AND HANG OUT WITH MR LANCER SO FAST.

-tucker dressing as danny, now I have the full Tucker set of him being sam and also being danny. also saying 'the ghost...uh...RIPPED MY FACE OFF.' and then running. SMOOTH. NOT AT ALL CONCERNING TO ANY PARENTS.

-sam accepts the toast from jack. and then 2 seconds later is like 'why am i eating this.' THIS SHOWS HUMOR IS SO UNEXPECTED SOMETIMES ITS REALLY GOOD. and then the scene after, mr lancer running into his ghost doppelganger and being like 'YOURE GORGOUS' THEN FAINTING. I AM CRYING. AND DASH FAINTING TOO.

-sam disguising herself as danny again to help tucker run from the fentons. but leaving him shirtless in the streets. incredible. 'plEASE DOnt NOTice MY FACELessNESS I MUST LIVE IN EXILE' this episode is destroying me the humor in this show is exactly my brand of corny and cheesy

-the impromtu story made up by danny and amorpho to explain stuff to the fentons. my god they are both such bad liars. but amorpho is a good egg. wish danny wouldnt have said he didnt wanna see him in town again!! I want him to be reoccurring. not that thats gonna matter since I'm almost done with the series, but the idea of this being the Only Time We See him is :(

-NEXT EP SAYS STARRING MARK HAMILL??????!!! hello ! mr . joker....mr. star wars.... I feel like I should be. idk. taking off a hat im not wearing in respect. I shouldnt be surprised tho bc hes in a lot of cartoons as a very good voice actor, and dp has already had a lot of talented ones so I've been looking out for ones I might know, but....mr. hamill....

-sam has her own greenhouse, names all the plants, and says thank you to them (in the languages from where the plants are from) whenever she harvests from them. thats SO cute. and her lil gothy lunch box...

-and danny's lil red fuzzy lined jacket!!! ive said it before but every time the characters get alt outfits im like :D

-danny has ice powers now!!! THATS WHAT FROSTBITE MEANT. HE KNEW SOMEHOW WAY BACK THEN

-THIS SHOW NEVER LETS YOU FORGET VLAD IS A BILLIONAIRE, HUH.

-danny's lil 'holy hibiscus!' first off the 50s batman swearing is hilarious. 2nd. my username is from the flower sanchoyo hibiscus, so, shoutout to ME this ep. hi :)

-EURGH UNDERGROWTH MAKING EVERYONE PLANT ZOMBIES. HIVEMIND PLOTS SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME. and this dude made the city SO overtaken so quickly like how long was danny asleep?? oh god

-evil fucked up sam! now the whole trio has gone evil at some point! the voice actress did a really, really good job with making her sound like a zombie...

-frostbite's paws are so so so big compared to danny. oh my god. i want to hug the snow dog...

-the far frozen has an advanced medical stuff!!! very cool. very smart snow dogs

-im so glad danny has a friendly ghost snow dad to explain this new power and teach him!!! this is so sweet. DANNY'S GHOST SENSE WAS A PART OF HIS ICE POWER?? OOOH. COOL. we love a training montage!!!

-danny saying if he cant defeat overgrowth, that he'd want to stay with frostbite...oh my god...do you think this is the first real supportive adult figure in his life (I am NOT counting his parents because they threaten him on the daily even if they dont realize it.) I mean mr lancer is a Teacher, but he was also nice but this is different, but this is a GHOST WHO IS WILLING TO HELP HIM with his powers and also will help him when hes injured and is so so nice and comparatively so much more mature than 90% of the adults in this show!!!! god. dad frostbite is my everything.

-the framing and lighting this episode, and all the angles...they went all OUT and it looks really really good. this is my nightmare scenario, tho. like, FUCK zombies and dead city zones and hivemind shit. and using the humans as 'nutrients for the children' i am going to THROW UP.

-MALEFICENT VIBES WITH THE HORNS AND GREEN EYES! this costume kicks so much ass. sam is now mark hamills daughter, I guess.

-danny's ice powers making his eyes blue!!! thats neat. and him going for the roots underground was SO SMART. i will not stand for danny ever thinking hes stupid, hes SO smart.

almost done with the show... :"( thats a sad thought!!!

[stonyiscanon]

socially awkward! peter parker x oblivious shit! reader

read: peter has a heart attack every time he talks to you because you’re too pretty and nice oof

lmfao just experimenting some new head canon//writing styles lmk what you guys think 🥺

it’s essentially a crack fic i have no regrets.

Warnings: an excessive amount of exclamation points used, overload of fluff, it might be little TOO crack-y if that’s even possible for me, a confusing amount of POV switches. ok it’s just shitty writing would you please read it.

Words: 4.8k this be a baby fic

Genre: fluffity fluff, idiots to lovers, high school! reader, god just read the title.

my masterlist is here if you want more shit

talk to me! be my friend please im lonely

 peter first meets you when you’re new to midtown and you get sorted into his science class.

you sat in front of him your very first day and yeah he’s been soft™ for you ever since

like no joke the first time he saw your face he freezed up and choked on his banana

‘oh nO NED!!! she’s PRETTY!!’

‘like, REALLY pretty!!! S H I T’

‘um,,... okay ain’t that a good thing you sit behind her in class!! maybe you can ask for her number or something—‘

oh hohohohoho ned my friend,,

N O

ABSOLUTELY NOT

peter parker has spoken to you a total of twenty-two (22) times within the whole year that you’ve been... acquaintances?? classmates?? ….. friends???

and his fat secret crush on you will STAY A SECRET THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

he’ll die before he asks you out or makes a move because there’s no way in hell peter has a chance with you, the beautiful new girl.

‘i mean, she’s not just beautiful too! she’s so smart, and i know that because i can literally see all her notes from behind her and she gets like, basically all A’s, but she doesn’t even know she’s smart and beautiful?? like, she never raises her hand in class even though i know she knows all th-’

you would think ned would be tired of peter’s ‘shit I’m in LOVE’ rants by now, he’s not because we stan supportive friend ned.

hehe little does he know his big fat secret crush may not be,, totally unrequited

👀

oKAY so maybe you have a humongous tiny crush on the dorky cute guy who sits behind you in science class

WHAT ABOUT IT not like he likes you back anyways.

that one time you asked him for a pencil he looked like he was having an aneurysm!! like okay, are you that hideous or—?

(yeah it totally doesn’t hurt at all that the cute guy you like is repulsed by your presence and seems to ignore you and tense up whenever you’re around)

(t o ta ll y) 🤡

yeah y/n kinda dumb in this because the entire student body knows about peter’s (not so secret lmFAO) crush on you

everyone lOwkEy ships it

ned is president of the petery/n shipper fanclub

that may be because he’s the only member in aforementioned fanclub but you two have many supporters outside the fanclub

ned hypes peter up everytime science class comes around and peter gets kinda confident when he walks in the classroom

‘yeah! i got this!! maybe this time i won’t stare at her hair creepily and then run aw-‘

‘hey peter!’

asjkdjejnxHAUXINENEIAIRJBSJS

ABORT NEVERMIND I DONT GOT THIS ASKXISNNDKSN

peters brain has left the building

and he kinda stares at you for a sec and runs off to his seat at the back

hm, yeah he definitely doesn’t like you

you sigh as you take your seat in front of him, trying to ignore how your love for this dork is completely one sided

the entire class wants to throttle both of you

so then for the sake of the cliche and the plot (did you heart that fourth wall break?? nvm i didn’t hear nothin)

gasp group project time??!?!?!?!

dang who could have saw this coming

totally unexpected

wow

peter is half hoping to get you and half DREADING to

because he knows if he gets you he’ll be able to spend time with you but 300% won’t be able to function and will most certainly fail this project

but i mean who cares about grades.

in a plot twist that literally no one saw coming,,,

‘betty and liz, you’ll be doing yours on atomic structure,

and peter and y/n are partners! you’ll be doing...’

oh nO

you’re partnered up with peter!

i mean this is great news you get to stare at his precious face more but you’re basically forcing him to spend time with someone he doesn’t like!!

so you turn around and you give him an apologetic and (cute as FXCK) small smile

meanwhile, peter combusts

one look at your smile and he just knows he’s completely fucked

like he physically uwus so hard he slams his head on the table

‘oh! are.. you okay? i mean, is working with me really going to be that bad?’

awkward laugh to hide the pain,, quick y/n!!

‘nO!! i mean, no, absolutely not that’s not what i- it wasn’t my- i didn’t m-‘

you smile a little sadly this time and say,

‘don’t worry about it, i know you don’t like me. it’s only two weeks anyway. i promise i won’t take much of your time.’

wait. hold up. back up here. wha-? wHO doesn’t like W HO??

‘wait what do you mea-‘

‘don’t worry about it. wanna meet at the library after school to get a head start on this?’

‘uh, yeah. i mean- cowabunga…!’

wat

shit peter has never wanted to die more in his entire life

so he does what any other normal person would do and yEEts out the classroom full speed

leaving you slightly hurt but mostly just confused

peter strolls in the library casually attempting to strain his neck 360 degrees to look for you

he looks like a chicken and also that’s humanly impossible but leave him be he’s iN LOVE

he spots you on one of the study tables. he takes a deep breath,, and walks over

‘hey!! sorry i’m a little late, uh, something… came up haha’

acting like the poor boy didn’t stand outside the library for fifteen minutes thinking about what he was going to say to you

‘no worries!’ you shoot him another one of those painfully adorable smiles and peter wants nothing more but to give that smile a smooch because damn that is a face that deserves smooches

but he also has a tiny feeling that maybe you might not appreciate it if he randomly kissed you out of nowhere

(you would not mind at all but he doesn’t know that)

‘so yeah! ready to compare the wonders of chemistry and motion physics?’ peter says, bending down to snatch his backpack up to the table (effectively hiding his red cheeks)

you snort as you prop your elbows onto the table, resting your head on your hands.

‘the wonders? hm, i really can’t tell whether you’re being serious or not. guess you really are a dork.’

you giggle a little bit before you catch sight of peter looking like a gaping fish. you immediately slam your hands down, perhaps a little too loudly considering you’re in a library, and blurt out,

‘uh, I was.. joking! making a joke, in case, you know, that wasn’t obvious.’ You awkwardly hide your face between your fingers and squeak out a small apology

‘nO! no, no, don’t worry about it. yeah, I am a dork, so… yeah, i’m not offended, or anything. uh- just, yeah, don’t worry about it.’

well, that ruined the flow of conversation peter was so desperate to keep up with

none of you speak for a bit, opting to look around the very interesting library walls instead, until peter clears his throat and brings up motion physics again

yeah! this will be fine. all you have to focus on is science, and NOT peter’s very soft kissable lips and how good he looks in his light green coloured sweater

huh

oh no

 desperately attempting to clear your mind, you try and focus on what he’s saying instead

it’s just SCIENCE, y/n. focus on the SCIENCE.

this distraction just-concentrate-on-the-work technique works for about the next hour or so as you guys study and work on this project

everything is going great!

you two have an organised google doc full of research and a finished introduction! you’re being extremely productive!

both of you are doing an amazing job at hiding your mutual (except none of you know it’s mutual) attraction!

so as you walk out the library beside peter some time later, you’re smiling softly, because even if your massive crush isn’t reciprocated, you and peter can maybe at least be friends by the end of this, right?

he didn’t even look like he detested you as much as usual today

maybe that’s because he was pretty much forced into cooperating with you because of this project, but you even caught him smiling at you today, so he must be warming up to you

which is great news, of course

peter swallows down his fear and the excessive amount of spit that is coating his tongue and turns to you

‘so, this was really fun’

you tilt your head, mildly horrified at his words

‘we need to stage you an intervention if a science project is something you classify as ‘fun’’

‘no, i mean, the science was kinda boring. spending time with you was really fun. ….right?’

oh good, he isn’t actually a complete monster who does science for fun

(he totally is but you don’t need to know that)

‘yeah! hanging out was really fun, even if we had to spend that time doing work’

you shudder and cringe when you mention ‘work’, because there are much more interesting things you’d rather be doing with peter

👀

‘yep.’

‘yeeep.’

‘so, we should meet up again to work on this… project. right?’ you’re shifting your weight and darting your eyes across the floor, desperately avoiding peter’s gaze.

‘yeah!!’

oof maybe that was a little too enthusiastic. maybe you didn’t notice?

‘i mean, yeah… yeah, totally. sounds… chill.’

oh god that’s worse isn’t it

‘great!’

cue awkward silence

‘so… um… can I maybe have your number?’

you stare blankly at him trying to conceal your excitement because did PETER PARKER just ask for YOUR number?!?!?!

oh no why aren’t you saying anything crapcrapcrap this is peter’s first time asking for ANYONE’S number did he mess up oh no he messed up didn’t he.

‘you know, for the project!!!!! haha!!!!’

oh. of course he wouldn’t actually want your number

*sigh these oblivious fucks I stg i’m the one who’s actually writing this and I want to throttle them*

‘oh… yeah, no problem! um, here’s my number’

‘cool! i’ll text you then!’

from peter p [12:48]

Hey y/n!! Um this is Peter btw. Peter Parker. From science class.

to peter p [12:49]

hey peter!

from peter p [12:49]

So if it’s cool w u do you want to meet up at my place? For the project haha, just figured a change of scenery might be nice. The library can get a little bit boring sometimes.

to peter p [12:49]

yeah sounds cool just send me ur address and i’ll be over after skl tdy if that’s ok

from peter p [12:50]

Yep awesome see u then

to peter p [12:50]

see u! :))

 that smiley face almost makes his heart burst god he’s so whipped for you.

then the panic kicks in.

‘OHMYGOD Y/N Y/L/N IS COMING OVER.’

peter spends like three hours making sure the apartment is SPOTLESS.

spends like half an hour trying to decide whether he should take down all the Star Wars memorabilia down from his walls

like, he doesn’t want you to think he’s a DORK.

(too late peter)

but then ultimately keeps them up, partly because shit you’re coming in like 5 minutes he doesn’t have time for this

but also, you’re a nice person! you surely won’t make fun of him for having a knockoff replica of the death star in his room.

hopefully

oh god if you make fun of him for being a Star Wars nerd he will break down in tears HE HAS TO TAKE THEM DOWN

*ding*

fuck

peter stands up from his spinney chair abruptly and scrambles towards front door.

he spent some time this morning with Aunt May for girl advice and nothing really came out of that except a very traumatizing safe sex talk and some teasing that he will never be able to erase from his memory.

he takes a fast detour and quickly stops in front of the bathroom mirror on his way to open the door, desperately trying to tame the mop of curls and his head.

did I put on deodorant this morning? crap I brushed my teeth right?

*ding*

FUCK

peter stops in front of the door, takes a deep breath and-

‘hey!’ a strangled greeting comes out of his throat but hopefully you don’t notice how nervous he is.

you don’t, because this is oblivious shit!reader

‘hi peter!’

peter is suddenly very aware of how long you have been standing outside.

‘oH! sorry, um come in!!’ he says, opening the door wider and welcoming you in with (overly?) enthusiastic arms.

‘yeah! make yourself at home and everything. you want a drink or something?’

‘water would be nice.’

peter sprints to the kitchen to get you some ICE COLD water in his favourite mug.

peter parker’s apartment is covered with cosy furniture and photos of him and another middle aged woman. half those photos are him and that woman smiling brightly into the camera.

there’s a photo that’s nicely framed above the mantle that shows a young peter beaming in front of a birthday cake, with that same woman and another unknown middle aged man smiling down at him. the photo is clearly old and crumpled, even with the frame around it.

peter looks so happy in that photo…

huh. baby peter is just as adorable as he is now.

you jump away from the photo when you hear his footsteps coming back into the living room. something about the photo seemed emotional, personal. it just didn’t seem like something you should be looking at.

peter comes back clutching two mugs and hands one to you.

‘nice place!’

‘oh, thanks… yeah my Aunt isn’t home right now, she’s downtown meeting some friends, so we have the place to ourselves……’

‘so we can study uninterrupted.’ he says.

oh of course, studying!! yep that’s exactly where your mind went when peter said the apartment was empty aHaH.

peter’s room is a little less adult than the rest of his apartment, flooded with polaroids of him and Ned, with Star Wars posters on the walls.

you ignore the pang of jealousy that you feel when you spot a photo of MJ and peter grinning in front of a bowling alley.

so for the next two hours you two are in peter’s room… studying vigorously.

you would be 100% lying if you said you weren’t disappointed only studying happened.

the weird thing is???

every time you would look down at your textbook to explain something about periodic motion peter seemed to be looking at you when you looked up?

well, looking at you isn’t very weird, looking at someone while they’re talking is just basic manners. but when you looked back he would snap his eyes straight back to his own textbook, nodding and wordlessly agreeing with whatever you had just said.

maybe it’s just your imagination but the way he looked at you, it’s almost a loving, caring gaze.

oh god who are you kidding, it’s just your brain and imagination playing tricks on you.

you’re alone with peter parker in his bedroom!! these things are going to happen!

‘hey you want to take a break? we’ve been going at this for a whole hour now.’ peter says, craning his neck to take a look at the clock on the wall.

‘has it really been a whole hour?’ you lean back in your chair looking up at the ceiling.

‘yeah okay. let’s have a small break then.’

peter picks up both of your mugs and heads off to the kitchen, groaning slightly when he stretches his legs out for the first time in an hour.

*a/n: apologies in advance to those with nut allergies*

he comes back with both your mugs refilled with (water for you, gatorade for peter) and a small bag of almonds for you to snack on.

‘oh hey! almonds are my study snack of choice too!’

‘yeah, i know’ peter says carelessly, scrolling down his phone.

‘i don’t like almonds all that much, but i bought a few packs this morning on the way to school.’

hm,, wHat

‘if… you don’t like almonds why would you get them for me?’

‘because you like almonds.’

blink.

b l i n k

it takes a bit of time for peter to realise what just came out of his mouth.

‘i meAn! I’M NOT A STALKER I SWEAR. i just see you at school sometimes and you always have a small pack of these to snack on whenever you’re doing work so i thought,, you know, since we’re doing WORK, i should buy some for you… so you won’t get hungry!!!’ he’s wailing nonsensical excuses and apologies by now.

huh.

peter parker knows that you snack on almonds when you study, and bought a pack for you even though he doesn’t like them at all.

maybe he doesn’t hate you as much as you thought.

you tear apart the packaging and stuff an almond in your mouth, your traitorous lips slowly threatening to curl into a huge smile.

(despite how much you fight against it, you end up with a slightly demonic looking huge smile on your face, which you attempt to hide by stuffing more almonds in your mouth)

(you now look like a chipmunk)

(but a cute one!!!!)

meanwhile peter is trying to hide the feeling of humiliation by resting his face in his hands, because he literally just exposed himself. he will not be able to take it if he looks back up at your face and you’re laughing at him for this stupid crush.

to his surprise, he does not look up to find you mocking his love for you, but instead, he finds you with a mouth full of almonds, struggling to chew and swallow them all without looking like a disgusting fool.

oh.

that’s kinda cute.

after a good five minutes of you trying to force like 10 almonds down your esophagus,  you clear your throat and awkwardly blurt out a ‘thank you’

‘for the almonds! it’s cute how you bought them for me because you knew how much i like to snack on them while i study. that’s really sweet of you. i guess you really don’t hate me all that much, huh?’ the last sentence comes out teasingly, a playful smile gracing your lips, but instead of uwu-ing over your cute smile, peter’s just confused.

‘why would i hate you?’ he says, his eyebrows laced together in confusion.

‘well, i always kinda got the impression that you didn’t like me… all that much? i never really knew why. hey, why did you hate me so much before this? if i accidentally did something at the start of the year that pissed you off, i’m sorry.’

your playful smile fades a little bit as you see peter basically collapse on himself just due to sheer GRIEVANCE.

‘WHY WOULD YOU THINK I HATED YOU?’ peter yells out, probably annoying the neighbours with how fucking loud he is, but he can’t seem to bring himself to care right now.

‘you… didn’t?’ you say, now becoming just as confused as peter.

he shakes his head aggressively, bringing his fingers up to his temples.

‘but… you always seemed so jumpy around me! and you would never really talk to me, and that one time i asked you for a pencil, you looked like you were dying or something! i always just thought you didn’t like me!’

oh

my

god

peter doesn’t know whether he should be laughing or crying.

‘that’s not because I HATED YOU!! that’s because- i mean- i always thought-’ he’s still yelling and at this point one of the neighbours are definitely going to come knocking to complain, but peter still doesn’t care, because he’s currently having an existential crisis.

ohmygod all this time my CRUSH thought I HATED HER because I couldn’t function like a normal human being in front of her because of how much I liked her until i gave her some ALMONDS what is wrong with me? what kind of entity that controls the universe could hate me so much to pull THIS kind of sick prank on me?

‘wait if you didn’t hate me why would you always act so weird in front of me?’

‘BECAUSE-’ peter tangles his fingers into his hair, and he kicks his chair, sending it halfway across his room from frustration.

‘how could you possibly think I hated you??? how could you possibly think ANYONE could hate you??? you’re single handedly the only good person in this godforsaken school full of IDIOTS and BULLIES! nobody could ever hate you, y/n, and certainly not ME!’

perhaps he is using an excessive amount of hand gestures, but it gets his point across.

‘wha-? what do yo-?’

‘wHat are you TALKING ABOUT?’ you say, slowly turning just as frustrated as peter.

‘if there’s ANYONE that’s decent in this ‘godforsaken school full of idiots’ it would be YOU, peter parker!! nobody would just pay attention to what I EAT so I wouldn’t get HUNGRY during a study session oKaY!! you’re so CONFUSING! every time I accept the fact that you don’t like me back you pull this bullshit, essentially making me rethink ALL MY FEELINGS!’ you say, going through the room (stepping over the toppled chair), just to jab a finger onto peter’s chest.

suddenly both of you are aware of your flushed cheeks and your close proximity.

‘wha- WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?’ peter basically shrieks, and you would not be surprised if all of New York managed to hear that scream.

your cheeks darken as you awkwardly step back from him, realising that you accidentally outed yourself.

‘um- i mean,’ you stumble on the fallen chair as you desperately walk backwards with your hands behind your back to avoid peter’s piercing gaze.

*you’re not good at confrontation okay*

‘you like me?? wait wait, you like ME?’ you frown a little as you look at peter’s incredulous expression.

‘well yeah, you don’t have to rub it in like that, I know you don’t like me back.’ You mumble, looking away.

‘don’t like yo- OH MY GOD!’

this time peter stalks all the way across the room, looking you dead straight in the eye.

‘you better not be joking with me, y/n.’

you squeak out a small ‘no’ or something like that because you can’t really focus with peter looking down at you like that.

‘you mean to tell me, my stupid fat, nervous crush on you was mistaken for HATRED, and all this time I’ve been thinking I have no chance with you, but you’ve been crushing on me too all this time?’ his words come out jumbled, and a little fast, but you can decipher the general meaning.

peter parker likes you… too.

oh GOD WAT

he clears his throat, biting his lip and you can just tell he’s about to apologise, because peter’s a complete angel who probably doesn’t want you feeling uncomfortable.

‘um- uh, y- oomph!’

and in this shocking turn of events, you execute the only spontaneous thing you’ve ever done in your life and pray that it ends up well.

you lean forward and press your lips to peter’s, hoping to whatever superior being there is that this was a good decision.

spoiler alert: it was

peter.exe has shut down because all of a sudden your lips are against his and oh wow this is so much better than all those times he’s imagined it happening because it’s actually happening now.

your hands find their way to peter’s curls that he was trying so hard to get under control an hour ago but now he can’t remember why he doesn’t like his hair if it’s just going to be tugged on by you like this from now on.

he grabs you by the waist and pulls you closer to him, pretty much pressing his body against yours.

not that you’re complaining.

and god if peter died from suffocation right now that would be a heavenly way to go, and he would be a-ok with dying if it meant finally being in your arms.

you pull away from peter, both of you slightly panting before you burst out in giggles, resting your head and letting it fall on peter’s shoulder.

‘oh my god, we’re such idiots, aren’t we?’

peter hums in agreement before lifting your chin up to kiss you again.

 bonus: boyfriend! peter

definitely still stares at you in science class except now whenever you catch him staring he just shoots you a lazy grin

because yEa he has FULL RIGHTS to stare at you now because you’re his GIRLFRIEND.

you find out he’s spiderman pretty much immediately let’s be real this boy is not the best at hiding secrets

especially from his GIRLFRIENDS whomst he loves VERY MUCH.

this boy also gives you anxiety attacks whenever you see spiderman on the news saving people, getting hurt and shit, but he understands.

sends you a text before and after he gets in the suit whenever he can.

most certainly uses his spidey-powers for things they were not intended to be used for.

to visit his girlfriend so she can give him cuddles at any time why what were you guys thinking about hMmmMMMmmmM?

likes to show you off but also gets very blushy and shy about PDA

pretty much had a seizure the first time you held hands.

ned almost fainted when he heard the news (aka peter rushed to call him the second you left that night you kissed because these bitches are very gossipy)

peter parker is the ultimate clingy boyfriend.

……

and you love it.

your science teacher no longer puts you in the same group or partners you guys up now though.

because now you can’t study together, you literally can’t keep your hands off each other.

sometimes when peter is feeling ~particularly clingy he just nuzzles into the crook of your neck during lunch, and pulls you to him so you’re pretty much on his lap.

and MJ is just like yall r disgusTING

right in front of my salad.

in conclusion, peter parker loves you and you love him.

it’s honestly kind of sickening,

but you love that too.

[autisticbee]

What, no ring?

Master Frown twirls spaghetti around his fork, the only joy (ha.) being watching the strands break. He's known to be a complainer but this is without exaggeration the worst spaghetti he's ever had, it doesn't even slightly compare to what he and Brock can make at home.

"Dude, are you not gonna eat that?" Brock eyes his plate like it's not too much of an abomination to even call food.

Frown's brow creases even more. "Nope." Without any further words he shoves the detested plate to Brock's side of the table.

Brock shrugs. "It's not that bad, not that good either but not that bad." He shoves a fork full of the discarded meal into his mouth and Frown isn't sure what to make of the fact he keeps thinking about how that fork was in his own mouth a few minutes ago.

Stop being weird, brain. He thinks to himself.

"I dunno why we even had to come here, their food is shi-" Frown cuts himself off realising there are kids at a table nearby and then internally scolds himself for being soft and to stop letting Unikitty, or Brock for that matter, rub off on him. "-Garbage."

Brock stifles a laugh. "C'mon, eating out once in a while is cool, I don't wanna cook alllll the time."

"Well, maybe I do." Frown crosses his arms in petulance. "We don't even have the money for desert, which is the only good part about eating in a stuffy place full of too many happy-dappy people." He glares indiscriminately around the room.

Brock rolls his eyes. "Whatever man, just, stick it out for a little while longer, Okay?" He asks, pleadingly.

Frown keeps his glare for 3 seconds, before heaving a heavy sigh. "Fine. But we are getting dessert."

"What? You just said we don't have the money-"

Frown waves an arm wildly. "Gimme a second, I'll think of something." He has like 2 cents so yeah, he's broke. Could order something then not pay but then they'd get banned and maybe he'd do that on his own but Brock would be pretty peeved off because for some reason he actually likes this place sooooo-

He leaps up from the table, a slightly maniacal smile on his face. "Ha! I got it."

"Got...what?"

"The perfect plan to score free dessert."

"Oooh, fake a birthday?"

"What? No! no one falls for that anymore." Yeah he had kinda used that one to death.

"Then....? Can you kinda hurry up I need to pee."

"Wait, you're part of the plan you can't go yet." Frown reaches across the table and grabs Brock's hands in a vice grip. "Fake. Proposal." He whispers.

"Um, I don't know...how about we just go home now and I can make cookies, my treat!"

"Dude, we could get like the most expensive dessert on the menu! People love all that sappy stuff, especially people who work at restaurants." He leans back into his seat and sticks out his tongue in (faux, not that he'd admit) disgust.

Brock glances at the menu nervously. "It does sound really good. Aren't you worried something like that could get back to the doom lords though, pretty sure that'd damage your image."

"Pffft. It won't, even it did I'd just tell them the truth and we could have a good laugh about it. Look I've been really good with minimal complaining today, can't I do a little something to tip the balance to the other side?"

"Okay, but I'm not taking the blame if they figure us out, this is the only good place we're still allowed into."

"Yeah, sure." Frown loudly screeches his chair back, drawing the attention of various patrons. "Play along." He whispers to Brock before standing up on the chair. "Brock, baby," He pitches his voice a bit louder. "Will you marry me?"

Brock feels unexpected heat in his cheeks and wills it to go away. "What, no ring?"

"Uhhhhhh." Frown rubs the back of his head. "It's...taking longer than expected to get it engraved...?"

"Then maybe you should have thought about that before proposing? Kind of a let down."

"The ring isn't important!" 

"Oh wow, if that's how you feel about it I'm not sure I should say yes." 

Frown face-palms, willing Brock to remember the plan. "Can we not argue before we've even had dessert." He says pointedly.

"Oh. Oooh, yeah you know what you're right it doesn't matter, so yes, I guess."

"You guess?" This was not working out well, why the heck did Brock have to get so into it?

"I think I'm just still kinda hungry, also I still need to pee and it's making me cranky, heh that rhymed." Brock smiles to himself. "Uh-Anyway, 'course I'll marry you, who else is gonna be by my side." 

Frown tries to ignore how that almost sounded genuine, and plasters on a fake smile. "That's great, go to the bathroom and I'll order us something special."

He notices a waiter approaching as Brock gets up and practically runs to the closest toilet. "Hey can we have Ultimate Desse-....oh nooooo, I seem to be out of cash." Frown says in a dramatic tone.

The waiter rolls their eyes. "It's on the house, for the sake of your poor fiance."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!" Frown sulks back into his chair.

By the time the order arrives, which makes Frown cringe at how it must have been prepared for quite a while to come so quick, Brock has come back to the table.

In theory every dessert on the menu mixed together sounds great but in actuality it's a monstrous mix of ice cream and chocolate and cheesecake and bananas and...gingerbread? And jelly and sprinkles and it just...

"Wait, you don't even like sweet stuff." Brock points out, the 'except for my cookies' is left unsaid.

Realisation hits Frown like a brick. 

Brock just looks uncomfortable. "I don't think I can eat all this, why did we want this again?"

"I don't know." Frown bangs his head against the table top.

______________

"That was pretty impressive I've got to admit." 

"I made myself eat half of it and then I threw up." Brock clutches his stomach as they enter their apartment. "All that mess..."

"Uh yeah! That's why it was so impressive, think of how much longer the person who has to clean that up will have stay after work." Frown tries his attempt at evil laughter, which in the past has earned mocking from his fellow doom lords.

Brock collapses on the sofa. "I can't think about it anymore, I just wanna sleep for like ten thousand years."

Frown fits himself in the gap at the free end of the sofa. "Does that mean I can have the TV to myself?"

"Go for it man, just not too loud." 

But Brock starts shifting about on the sofa, which Irritates Frown too much to let him watch tv. "What's wrong with you?"

"I can't get comfy, and my tummy hurts." Brock whines. 

Frown rolls his eyes. "Come here, dork."

Brock does as told and Frown motions for him to rest his head on his lap. "Hey that's no way to talk to your fiance." He giggles then regrets it as his stomach jolts.

Frown starts rubbing his stomach, it's not really something entirely out of the usual for them both but for some reason things this have started seeming more and more intense. "...You're never gonna let that go, are you."

"Nah." Brock grins lazily, the motion making him want to sleep even more. Frown's rarely soft with anyone but him and he'd be lying if he said he didn't sorta revel in it. Brock wonders for a moment what would change between them if earlier hadn't been a ploy for free food, what it'd be like if they actually got married. They basically bicker like a old married couple already and they even kiss every night.

Just not, you know, in a romantic way.

They just kiss on the lips every night in a totally platonic bro way. Yep. 

Brock leaps up, startled by a sudden revelation. 

"Hey what the heck, you need to puke again or something?" 

"No! Just decided I'mma head to bed, haha." 

"Oookay." Frown stares at him strangely. "Want me to tuck you in and-"

"Nope! I'm good!"

"Thought you couldn't sleep without your nighty-"

"I'm good! Goodnight!" Brock rushes off to his room and slams the door.

"That was weird." Frown stares at the closed door for a minute, feeling oddly disappointed, then he shrugs and turns up the TV. 

________________

"Whoa, look at that." Brock points to poster on a nearby building. "Free vacation."

Frown raises an eyebrow, and reads it closely. "Yeah, for couples. And it's a competition in the unikingdom, ew."

"Well...what if we...pretended again?"

"What?" Frown baulks. He did consider the idea himself but wouldn't have imagined Brock being the one to bring it up. "Why?"

"We could never afford something like that, plus you could always like, tell Unikitty it was fake after the holiday and that would make her pretty sad maybe?"

"...I'm listening." Frown pauses in thought. "We'd have to play it up more."

"By play it up more do you mean holding hands orrr french kissing?" 

"I don't know! just whatever it takes." The blush on Frown's cheeks could in fact ruin his reputation and he needed it stop like right now, There's no reason to blush about the idea of kissing your best friend on a more...intimate...level like a teenager with a crush. 

Because obviously he doesn't have one. "When does this thing happen anyway?"

"In about, twenty minutes." Brock squints at the poster. "How long has this been here?"

______________

"Where the heck is everyone?" Frown glances around the empty gymnasium that was supposed to be the setting for the vacation competition.

"I hear crying behind that curtain on the podium." Said crying abruptly stops.

Frown rubs a hand down his face. "Oh boy."

There's a quiet like the lull before a storm before a pink and glittery blur flies out from behind the curtain. "OHMYGOSH THERE'S ANOTHER COUPLE HERE PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE NOT FAKE-" Unikitty cuts herself off and glances down at Frown and Brock. "Oh it's you two...Master Frown if you're here to ruin this you're too late! Everyone was a bunch of fakers." Unikitty bursts into tears.

Frown groans. "No, we're here to enter your stupid competition, buuuut since no once is here I guess we win by default." 

Unikitty's tears stop again. "Whaaa? You guys are TOGETHER? LIKE REALLY TOGETHER?! SO THAT PROPOSAL RUMOUR WAS TRUE!"

Frown scowls. "How do you know about that." Great, now they really needed to put on a ruse.

"I have my sources." Unikitty says mysteriously. "I am sO HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS OH MY GOSH PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME HELP YOU WITH THE WEDDING OH! WE COULD THROW IT IN THE UNIKINGDOM MY PEOPLE LOVE A WEDDING-"

"Uh, Unikitty, the competition?" Brock prompts kindly.

"Sorry, sorry! I can't help it I just looooOve weddings, ahem, I can't just let you guys win, Hawkodile needs to make sure you're the real deal because everyone who else who came earlier were just pretending to be a couple, can you believe it! It's so sad." Unikitty pauses to suck in a deep breath. "But I'm sure you're not lying, I always knew there was a thing between you two." She winks.

"Since when-Ow!" Frown glares at Brock after getting jabbed in the ribs.

"Dude, you'll blow our cover." Brock tries to subtly whisper, despite being a bit taken back too. Sure they're close but did they really give off that vibe? Or was that just because of Unikitty's rose coloured glasses?

"Princess, do I really need to test them? They're obviously faking! I mean, it's Master Frown." Hawkodile gestures exaggeratedly at Frown.

Frown creases his brow. "When did you get here." 

"Yeah but it's also Brock! We can trust him." Unikitty looks pleadingly at Hawkodile.

Brock winces.

"Ugh, fine. But they're gonna have to pass the quiz of true love to convince me." Hawkodile crosses his arms.

"That's a ridiculous quiz name." Frown tries to ignore the fact he's started sweating.

"You're ridiculous!" Hawkodile turns his gaze to Brock and points a finger at him. "You!"

"Yeah...?" Brock tries to keep a neutral face.

"What's Master Frown's favourite colour?" 

Frown bursts out laughing. "Oh come on that's an easy one-"

"Black?" Brock speaks tentatively.

"WHAT THE HECK DUDE YOU KNOW IT'S BLUE." Frown shouts. 

"Wait it is? I just thought black would be your thing because darkness and all that sort of stuff."

"Blue is the colour of sadness and tears!" Frown pouts, aghast that that they had failed on the very first question.

"Hmmm." Hawkodile strokes his chin. "Okay, Frown you're up."

"Huh?" 

"What's Brock's favourite video game?"

"Uhhhhh, the dead one 7?" 

"Are you serious?! Don't you remember me saying how I had to wait out in the rain to get a hold of dawn-breaker 3 and that it was all worth it because it was the greatest game ever?" 

We are not getting that trip. Frown thought, as Brock looked ready to cry.

"Guess I was wrong about you two." Hawkodile speaks.

"You were? I mean, uh yeah you were." Frown fakes confidence.

"Yeah, anyone actually faking would have memorised each other's favourite things too well, like they had only just found out that day, and tried to look like the perfect couple but clearly you guys have some issues." 

"No kidding." Brock turns away from Frown with a 'Hmph.'

Unikitty, who had been unusually quiet for the last few minutes, flies around and groups up Frown and Brock into a hug. "Yaaaay, I'm so happy you guys didn't let me down, HEY! If you get married at the beginning of next year you could use this holiday as your honeymoon!!! WOULDN'T THAT BE AMAZING."

"Get off." Frown struggles out of her grip, leading to a short fall to the ground. "Ugh."

"Wait, why did you say next year?" Brock asks in befuddlement. 

"Didn't you read the poster? The vacation is for next year! This competition was kindaaaa a last minute idea what with valentine's day coming up and all and it turns out that everything was already booked up for this year...sooo..." Unikitty sets Brock on the ground gently.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?" Frown screams, face down on the floor. 

"It's still better than never, right?" Brock laughs nervously. "Sorry bro, I must have missed that part..."

"She did write it in really small print." Hawkodile points out.

"Shhhhhh, thanks for your help Hawkodile! But I need to discuss something with Master Frown and Brock in private please." 

Hawkodile squints, turning to leave. "Uh, okay. I'm watching you, Frown."

Frown gets up, dusting himself off. "Can we leave now." 

"Hang on." Unikitty pulls out a piece of folded up paper. "While you two were busy with Hawkodile I decided to write down some wedding planning ideas!" The folded piece of paper unfolds into a very, very long list.

"Well, I would really like to hear your ideas, Unikitty." Brock smirks at Frown.

"I should have just stayed on the floor." 

_______________

"Did you seriously have to listen to every single one of her hare-brained ideas in excruciating detail?" Frown gestures wildly, standing in front of the TV.

Brock moves his head to the side, trying to see and continue playing his game. "You really hurt my feelings, you know how important gaming is to me." Brock exits the game in frustration as Frown moves to block him even more. "I thought we had gotten better at this communication stuff since...you know..."

"And you know how important misery is to me! You couldn't even remember my favourite colour." Frown glances down at the ground. He knows he's being childish...but he's naturally defensive.

"That's not the same thing, this is a huge part of my life! One day I could be one of those gamers that wins those like huge tournaments and bringing in the big money! And then we could live in a huge awesome house and wouldn't have to worry about landlords, or the rat infestation we can't afford to deal with or-"

"Hang on, you still see us living together even if you became a big shot gamer?" 

"Duh! Look we've been faking a lot of stuff but I meant it when I said 'Who else is gonna be by my side', you're always gonna be a part of my future no matter what happens. I just wish you'd support me more..."

The guilt Frown had been pushing down for this entire conversation pushes it's way out at the sight of Brock's sad eyes. "Look...I'm sorry, okay? You're right, I just expect you to go along with my schemes and then I don't support you enough with what you wanna do, I'll...work on that." Frown rubs his arm.

"I mean, you did support with that holiday thing, and there was cheerleading thing..."

"...Maybe, you should do the cheerleading thing again sometime, you were pretty good at it and it could be a back up plan in case the gaming falls through."

A small smile appears on Brock's face. "You really thought I was good at it?"

Frown rolls his eyes. "Uh, yeah. You were awesome. Uniform suited you too-I mean, yeah, pretty good." 

Brock contemplates on if he should risk saying something, to test the waters for a whole other kind of thing I wants to ask. "I thought you looked pretty cute in the uniform too." 

Frown splutters. "I-I'm not cute! What are you even-Cool and handsome maybe, but cute? Seriously?!" 

Despite his protests, Brock notes how Frown's face is turning incredibly red. "Nah, you're definitely really cute."

"Yeah?! Well, you're really handsome, so there." Frown's head screams a chorus of WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING. 

Brock stifles a laugh. "Was that supposed to be a comeback? You think I'm handsome? Oh no I'm so hurt." This time he can't stop the laughter and doesn't even mind the pink on his own face. 

Frown scrunches his face up. "Whatever! You realise Unikitty is never gonna leave us alone now, it's my worst nightmare." He walks over to the couch and sits down next to Brock, quietly fuming.

Brock coughs to clear his throat. "I mean...there is a way we could stop that happening in the long term."

"Like what?"

"She just wants to help us plan our 'wedding' right? As soon as that's over it'll be back to the usual."

"Which is never going to happen since a wedding is not actually going to happen, how does that help." 

"What if it did?" 

"What if...what did?" 

Brock taps his hands together, focusing on them. "What if we got married, like, for real."

"...You've lost me."

"Think about it, we kiss every night-"

"That's just to get you to sleep."

"-We have baths together-"

"It saves time!"

"-We've even shared a bed before-"

"Look sometimes I just get really cold, and it saves on heating in the winter."

"What I'm saying is, it's already like we're married, and if we were actually married we could get the benefits that come with that too. It makes sense, right?"

"Like one of those platonic marriages? Between bros?" 

Brock sighs. "Is that how you feel? I just thought-Never mind."

It dawns on Frown that all the confusing thoughts and feelings he's had for a while now, proved that was in fact not how he felt at all. He'd been trying to deny it the whole time but truth is... "No. I kinda...enjoyed pretending we were together, we didn't do much but just knowing people thought that-" Thrilled him, didn't seem like the right words. "I might be...in love with you or something." He refuses to look at Brock.

"Phew, that's a relief. Pretty sure I'm in love with you too, dude."

"Oh." Still stubbornly not looking. 

"C'mon, look at me." Brock reaches out and cups Frown's face, turning him to face him. "I love you."

"Oh." Frown repeats, in a much softer tone. He's not really good with words, more so with actions, he leans in without thinking. 

They've kissed many times before, but they were always brief pecks and without overt romantic intentions. Because of that, it's still a fairly light kiss but with more passion, more feeling given into it. 

"Mmm." Frown finds himself moaning as Brock pulls away. "That was embarrassing." He mumbles.

"Nuh uh, that was great. I like kissing you."

"Stop, this is already too mushy. Hey, is that why you ask for one every night?" 

"Huh? You don't remember?" Brock asks, clearly perplexed.

"Remember what?"

"When were kids, and I had my first sleepover at your house but I couldn't sleep because Mama used to kiss me on the cheek every night, so you offered to do it-"

"Ugh, yeah. You never specified where so I kissed you on the mouth and you said I did it wrong." 

"And youuuu said you weren't my mom so 'Of course I'll kiss you different, silly'." Brock mimics the high pitch child's voice he can still hear in his mind. 

Frown groans. "Don't remind me, I was a weird kid."

Brock snorts. "Weird adult too. Also really sweet, I mean you're still willing to give me a nighty-night kiss so you're not as bad as you like to make out."

Frown gasps. "You take that back! I'm a menace!" 

"Oh yeah, sure. A real menace who gives his best friend tummy rubs when he's sick, kisses him before bed, and who just said he's in love with me."

"Yeah...but you're different, yanno? There's no one I like as much as you, I wouldn't do that stuff for just anyone." Frown recoils at his own words. "Gross, I'm being sappy again." 

"Aw, I don't know dude, I like it." 

"Can we just go back to the kissing?" Frown pouts.

"Not until you answer my question."

"What questi--Ohhhh." It's Frown's turn to look nervous. "I'm not opposed to it, as long as we have a loooong engagement period, there's no way we're actually gonna have our honeymoon early next year."

"Wait, so that's a yes? You're really okay to jump straight from a blooming relationship to engaged?"

"I'm saying, yes, I will probably marry you at some not yet set date in the future. Thought you'd be thrilled."

"I am! I totally am! Just, if you don't want to you don't have to...I know it's kinda rushing things."

"I know I don't have to, I want to. Is it that hard to believe that I wanna marry your dorky butt and grow old together or whatever." 

"We gotta do this right then, and go ring shopping."

"...I don't think you're supposed to do that together."

"I thought you were a bad boy." 

"You better believe I am, baby! In fact, maybe we should go steal rings."

"Okay, not that far. What was that you said about going back to the kissing?"

Frown grins as he draws closer. "Now that's a better idea."

[spiltscribbles]

combo of 7 & 8 for pynch hehe :)

Notes: Thank you so much love!!!  |   Send Me A Prompt 

.-

“It’s the last straw! I’m done! I’m over it!” Blue stabs the spoon into her yogurt, teeth clenched, and knuckles white. Adam, like the good friend he is, just calmly slides it out of her hand and gives her a banana instead.

“She’s not that bad of a roommate,” he tells her with a one armed shrug. The look she shoots him can only be described as the personification of betrayal. Adam can’t believe it’s the third time he’s rolled his eyes at her and it hasn’t hit nine in the morning yet.

“They were naked Adam! Nude! Birthday suits!”

“The biblical state,” Henry tacks on and Blue nods along graciously.

Make it four times before nine in the morning.

“It’s Orla…. She’s eccentric

“It was on the couch! I sit on that couch Adam!” blue hits her hand against the table, fully indignant now.

“I really would recommend having it at the very least steam cleaned before partaking in that activity  again,” Henry advises sagely as he takes a sip of his coffee.

“Oh no! No way! I will never sit on that couch another day of my life!”

“Glad to see you’re taking this reasonably,” Adam says, voice blithe, as he brings their cereal bowls to the sink.

“Don’t start with me Adam! You haven’t seen the things I have! The freckles and birthmarks— The hair.” Blue shutters and henry slings an arm around her slim shoulders in comfort, clucking his tongue all the while.

Fifth…. It’s been the fifth time now.

“So how do you reckon you’ll live in there without sitting on the couch ever again?” He needles with a quirked brow, fully having decided to just fall into the dramatics. It’s always easier for him at the end of the day  when just excepting it.

“I’m moving out! Duh.”

“Oo, My Blueberry is becoming her very own American woman!” Henry preens. “Let me get you a chic new outfit Sabrina style!”

“That movie is sexist and culturally appropriates middle eastern garb.” Blue sniffs.

“Good to know that the new Blue has still got all her old spunk.”

“You’re both ridiculous,” Adam tells them, lips pinched.

“We bring bursts of color into your otherwise stale existence,” Blue argues loftily.

“Ridiculous,” Adam repeats with feeling.

“Lying doesn’t become you my dear Henrietta Prince,” Henry tells him far too frankly before turning his attention back to Blue. “You know you’ve got a place here if you want it.”

“Where?” Blue snorts. “In your living room?”

“Our couch doesn’t have naked Orla germs,” Adam offers halfheartedly. 

Blue just levels him with a unimpressed look, and Adam’s got flashbacks to junior year when Maura caught the pair of them getting drunk off Persephone’s peach wine coolers.

It’s terrifying.

“Charming. But no need, I’ve already begun sifting around for places nearby that are looking for a new roommate.”

Adam takes the papers she’s already printed off and begins shuffling through them.

“This one has like five cats,” he tells her with a curled lip.

“It sounds homey.”

“You’re allergic,” Adam rebukes. 

“I’m desperate Adam!” Blue reminds him.

“This one has a picture of him wearing a MAGA hat on his facebook profile pic,” Henry informs her, holding a second listing.

“Okay not that desperate,” Blue crumples it up and tosses it to the side. Adam would tell her to throw it in the trash like an adult but reasons she’s having a moment. 

“Mmm, what about this one,” she waves around the paper and Henry takes it to look over himself.

“It’s with three random dudes.”

“Three normal looking dudes,” Blue presses. “And so to reiterate, I’m desperate.”

“Ted Bundy was a normal looking dude,” Adam charges, making Blue glare at him menacingly.

“Adam I can still see flesh in my nightmares!”

Sixth, sixth time he’s rolled his eyes. Jesus fucking Christ Adam is gonna be sent to an early grave because of  an aneurism from them.

.-

The problem is that when Blue sets her mind on something, not even the angels above can dissuade  her from it, so that’s why Adam spends his Saturday afternoon— the only one he’s had off from a shoot in literally three months— driving to some sketch apartment with her and Henry, in the latter’s abrasively flashy sports car. 

He feels like a fraud.

“Blueberry are you sure you put in the right address?” Henry asks, face scrunched in confusion once they cruise into the open parking spot in front of a dilapidated looking  manufacturing building.

Blue flickers her eyes back down towards her phone before glancing up with a sure nod. 

“Look it says Monmouth right over there on the sign near the front door. This’s the right place.” 

“Right place to get murdered,” Adam intones darkly. 

Blue only tosses him a glare before slipping out.

“Are we bad people for going along with this?” Henry asks Adam, his mouth downturned in concern.

“Nah, we were bad people long before this.” Adam assures him wryly  before following suit.

.-

“I don’t want a new roommate,” Ronan tells Gansey for the third time in the past hour. In turn, Gansey only rolls his eyes before trying to stuff the old pizza boxes into the trash can. God fucking damn it, Helen’s right, they do live like pigs.

“I think it’s a good idea,” Noah contends. “It’ll bring some new energy in this place.”

“Oy, what did I tell you about saying shit like energy and chakras.”

“That’s it’s something a douche hipster would say and you’d throw me out a window if you heard it again.”

“And yet.”

“All I can say to that is dude you need to clear your chakras.” Noah says, fully goading, and making it so an unexpected laugh tears out of Ronan, the total prick.

“For the love that is all holy and right, will you two please just attempt to act normal when she gets here.”

“It’s a girl?”

“A girl with models as friends,” Noah perks, completely beaming. “And you know what that means,” Noah winks and Ronan, for the good of the public, cuffs him on the back of the head. Hard.

“You fucking sly dog, how do you even know that?”

“Preliminary interview through the phone,” Noah shrugs. “She sounds nice, better than living with that guy with a pet snake.”

“That snake was fucking cool.” Ronan argues.

“There’s a one pet limit here, and your raven has taken the slot.” Gansey huffs, hand on his hip like Aurora would do if Ronan and Declan were being especially rowdy. “And Noah don’t ask about her model friends, that’s creepy.”

“That’s kind of my shtick man.” Noah points out, wide eyed.

“Less horror film creepy and more loser from Revenge of the Nerds creepy,” Gansey clarifies scoldingly.

Noah swallows down a lump, properly cowed.

It’s right then when the doorbell rings and Gansey frantically puts in the last of the empty cups into the dishwasher from the sink before scurrying to the doorway, Noah and Ronan on his heals.

Ronan knows he lost the battle and the war the moment the door swings open and the first thing the pixie sized, colorfully dressed girl says is a glowing “Blank 182?” While gesturing towards Noah’s… Well Noah’s everything.

Noah looks like the cat who’s gotten into the cream, Gansey looks more glowing than usual, and Ronan can’t take his eyes off the sandy haired boy she’s brought along with her.

.-

Living with Blue is a beast that Ronan can’t quite figure out how to defeat.

She, probably like any sane person, expects the house to be in some sort of semblance— aka no more jackets and other innocuous articles of clothing thrown about the shared living space, and for dishes to be rinsed after use and put into the dishwasher accordingly. 

“Your rooms can be as trashy as you want, but can we please not make the whole place a pigsty,” she had sniffed with a cocked head and jut out hip. Gansey of course nodded giddily— on account to his staring at her all moony ever since meeting her— Noah had shrugged, indifferent. But Ronan held out as long as possible, sneer on his lips. But alas, she met his every zig with a zag and he found himself in a stalemate.

But Ronan could deal with the tidiness and even the impromptu yoga sessions she holds with randoms from her classes at university. Hell he could deal with her weird obsession with Yogurt too, and can actually listen to her rants about the patriarchy and institutional blocks that keeps the impoverished and people of color and women down from being able to achieve feats once only meant for wealthy white men. Fuck, Ronan’s come to think her particular brand of spitfire humor is actually hilarious.

So yes all of this is fine. But with Blue comes them. Henry Cheng, best friend she met at some art class her freshman year. And fucking Adam Parrish, apparently someone she’s known for so long and so intimately that she refers to him as family more often than not.

And yeah. Ronan is not jealous and Noah needs to take that fucking sneer off his face.

“You’re jealous!”

“I am not jealous!” Ronan yells emphatically for the fifth time.

“Ronan has a crush!”

“Noah God so help me!” He threatens, totally venomous.

“You’re in loveee!” 

“Noah I will destroy you!”

.-

Okay so Ronan might be sorta, kinda, not jealous…. But bothered. Yes Bothered. He’s bothered because he can’t fucking figure out Blue and Adam’s deal. One second they’re sniping at one another about the economy and the next she’s lying her head in his lap while he’s carding a hand through her hair.

Fucking salacious shit.

But occasionally, on especially good days, Blue falls asleep early and instead of going back home right away, Adam stays. He stays and he shares a drink with Ronan on the porch and they talk about nothing really, but also a lot of things. Ronan find’s out he basically grew up with Blue, that she was his first everything. He’s deaf in his left ear and he didn’t mean to fall into modeling but he didn’t have enough money to finish the semester at MIT and instead of giving up he took up some side gigs which eventually culminated into a career of his own. 

Ronan finds out that Adam’s favorite flavor of ice cream is cow tracks and his front tooth is chipped from behind.  Adam has a small, crooked smile and when he laughs its more breath than sound and its absolutely lovely.

Ronan finds this all out but still has no idea whether he has a shot.

And again, he’s bothered.

.-

“I vote on something classic,” Blue tells them with a sip of her shake. (Read the shake Adam bought but Blue somehow still always drinks half of even while she complains about being on a diet, which then leads her to grouse about how Adam stays narrow and lithe even if he eats four quarter pounders back to back).

Sadly, this happened once and only once when Adam was especially stressed over a finals week and hadn’t eaten for literally three straight days. 

She really has seen him at his worst.

“Ooo, let’s watch some singing in the rain! I’m ready to belt out some toons.” Henry crows.

“Oh well if it includes your perfectly pitched singing,” Adam says flatly. Blue promptly elbow checks him and Henry waggles his tongue out.

“Sounds good to me Henry, so where?”

“Your place?” Adam says, brow kinked and trying to smother down the hopefulness in his voice. Of course, it doesn’t work. They know him better than anyone else, and they immediately stick him with matching smirks.

“Pray tell Parrish, me and you have the better entertainment system by far, and yet you’ve been insistent on heading to Blueberry’s place for our weekly movie nights for the past two months…. Hah, I wonder what two months signify?”

“Ooo ooo! I know Henry, I know!” Blue teases swinging her arm up high like an excited school girl. “I just moved into Monmouth and Then Adam over here got all slack jawed and goofily eyed over my scary roommate!”

“Blueberry gets the point!” Henry squawks, giving her a makeshift bracelet out of the straw wrapper.

Adam looks at them both with as much fury as he could muster, cheeks infused red, and jaw locked.

In retort, they only laugh ebulliently.

Adam is so tempted to make new friends.

.-

Ronan opens the door on a random Thursday afternoon a week later and Adam steels his nerves, not about to back down.

“Oh, ah Parrish.” His prominent brows furrow together, suspicious. “Maggot isn’t here yet.”

“I know,” Adam says, head tipped high. “Can I come in?”

Ronan only shrugs as he moves aside to give him the room to enter.

“You look like you have something squirming up your ass,” Ronan tells him, as blunt and as crass as ever.

Adam silently questions to the universe why is it that he’s so resoundingly attracted to him for that.

“You’re so eloquent with your words Lynch, you know that?” Adam tells him, completely flat, and making it so Ronan’s answering grin is something feral and amused.

“So you gonna just stand there looking pretty or actually get it out?”

“Jesus Christ, do you have an ounce of patience in your entire body?”

“I sweat it out at the gym, you wouldn’t know that skinny.” Ronan barbs, hip checking him while he struts to the kitchen.

Adam just glares after his form… His well built and deliciously broad shoulders.

“Still got enough muscle to beat your ass,” Adam teases and Ronan leers, impressed. Adam walks closer, magnetized. 

“So Blue’s enlightened me about something.”

Ronan hikes up a brow, betraying his mask of indifference.

“Is that right. What? Did Maggot make you understand that the hand holding and lovey-dovey looks are getting abrasive?”

Adam is utterly confused to what he’s talking about— Did he find out about the crush, and if so does that mean he’s already, wordlessly rejected Adam. Is Ronan completely uncomfortable right now.

Adam shakes off the questions, is determined to just plunge in for once in his life without beating a situation to death with analysis.

“She’s enlightened me that my crush on you is getting to ridiculous levels of yearning and i should just ask you out like an adult.”

A thousand different expressions pull at Ronan’s face until finding landing at something Adam can only call aw.

“Oh— Ah, wait. Wait do you like me?”

Adam rolls his eyes heavenwards. God he really is going to get an aneurysm.

“You are such a doofus,” Adam sighs before inkling his head forwards and kissing Ronan senseless.

Ronan grabs his head and presses impossibly closer.

.-

Later that night, when Henry and Blue march in with the decided upon movie they both begin to preen at the sight of them, exchange bills with Noah and Gansey too.

Again, Adam is going to be sent to an early grave. But hey, if in the meanwhile Ronan does that thing with his tongue, Adam will at least enjoy his final earthly days.

[pekorosu]

no.6 novels thinky thoughts

--------

so… i ended up finishing all 9 vols in about a week haha.

my overall impression? it was… alright, i guess.

not that i didn’t enjoy it, in fact, the first half was great! by the time i reached the end though, i had mixed feelings. sat on it for a week or so but a lot of it remains a vague hhhmmmmmblah blob that i’m not done figuring out. 

i still wanna make a post as a form of closure for myself though, so i’m just gonna dump whatever comes to mind here. don’t mind me.

so... the ending. i guess it was supposed to be open-ended in a hopeful way, but it just came across as unsettling to me. the ~chosen one~ thing rubbed me the wrong way, because shion was entrusted with an enormous responsibility that no 16 year old should even be shouldering in the first place. (i mean yea okay he did willingly accept it, but still. why only him? why aren’t they all collectively responsible?) 

meanwhile the actual perpetrators get to escape all the consequences by just… dying. just like that. and the rest of them, especially the adults… they’re pretty much useless? even the ones that wanted to do something by staging a revolt ended up being unreliable either bc 1. they were drunk on revenge or 2. all that power was getting to their head. ironically, rou was like “it’s all on us, the adults” but in the end even he decided to just spend the rest of his life chilling out underground -_-

on top of that, shion had to let go of nezumi. idk about y’all but that ending, that “promise to meet again” kiss was like… i couldn’t help but wonder if nezumi only did that because shion was all “a world without you is meaningless” and he had to give him something to cling onto. followed by shion’s devoted “i’ll keep waiting” which… idk, something about it felt utterly depressing. to be fair, nezumi always keeps his promises and the epilogue was vaguely hopeful i guess, but it still didn’t give me the sense of closure that i needed. 

to clarify, i’m not saying it’s a bad ending. it’s realistic and the implication that there’s still a lot of work to be done is very much in line with the story’s themes. just that something about it didn’t work for me personally, plus the lead up to it felt rushed, so it left me feeling :/ when i was done.

the plot… well, it started out exciting but turned out to be rather anticlimactic? the shift from science to supernatural had a proper build up, but still felt like a letdown for some reason… 

i think... maybe it’s bc dystopian stories tend to culminate in a huge battle and stuff like that, while this one just… didn’t. there was no final showdown with the Big Bad. there was chaos, but it hadn’t descended into total devastation yet, with the ultimate message that maintaining peace is always more preferable in order to prevent any more senseless deaths. and i guess that threw me off a little? not in a bad way, it was just unexpected bc i’m so used to the whole “final boss” format.

speaking of which, the antagonists were very one-dimensional, and for dictators they were surprisingly… weak. i mean, i get that hubris was precisely the reason for their carelessness and subsequent destruction, but it felt too convenient, too simple.

and i was sorta expecting something more gruesome when they got to the top floor of the correctional facility. idk, i guess brains floating in tubes just couldn’t compare with that scene of them climbing a mountain of corpses+half-alive people, which i had the misfortune of reading right before dinner. that was straight up horror.

and for all its depiction of the horrors of a police state, of poverty, famine, genocide… i felt like it stopped short of something. this isn’t meant to be a proper critique ofc, just that i remember feeling like the writing came across as wishy-washy or superficial at times, even though i knew the author’s intention wasn’t to hand out answers, but to get the readers to think. something about the way it was handled left me feeling unsatisfied i guess. 

that said, there were stuff that i did like! eg. i liked how the story dealt with the “we’re all human beings” statement from shion. it started out as a simple, idealistic “all lives matter” kind of thing, only to be turned on its head when he comes face-to-face with the kind of atrocities no.6 has committed. then it becomes less about that and more “our shared humanity means that we too have the capability to become cruel and apathetic.” or at least, that was my takeaway. 

hmm… in hindsight, i think it does what it set out to do well enough. that is, to convey a certain message to a certain group of people (teenagers i guess. this is YA after all). to inspire them to think for themselves, to realise that apathy is dangerous and to take responsibility for their own learning, but also to know that doing the “right” thing is not just about good intentions; it is constant hard work but still important work... among others. all of which are solid themes and messages. god knows when i was younger and learning about all this for the first time, even the simplest things would leave me mindblown for days. if i’d read this back then i imagine it would’ve left a bigger impression too.

the main highlight for me though, was probably the character scenes. i was surprised to find out how introspective the story was, with the majority of it dedicated to the characters’ internal thoughts and conflicts. 

sadly though, the side charas’ POVs (like inukashi’s and karan’s) ended up becoming tediously repetitive and draggy despite starting out strong. and safu… poor safu, she pretty much got the shortest end of the shit stick being the Plot Device Damsel In Distress Who Is Eventually Fridged. i had higher hopes for her ):

as for the rest… i don’t really care about rikiga… and who else… oh right! small nezumi team! hamlet, cravat and tsukiyo. 10/10 love them, would never get tired of their cute little squeaks.

and the protags… shion started out kinda bland but ended up being the easiest to relate to haha. eg. his constant struggle to reconcile his personal ideals with practical reality. and it was interesting to see how he confronted and came to terms with some harsh truths. he always tries so hard. sometimes it hurt to read, but it made me want to root for him and in a way, it gave me strength too. 

also his apparent “lack of interest” in sex/women/etc... i know it’s generally played for laughs or to highlight his ~naivete~ or ~immaturity~, but whatever lol it’s something i can relate to it v strongly.

nezumi took a while for me to warm up to even when i understood why he is the way he is. the callousness, hostility, volatility… they’re all defense mechanisms rooted in his trauma, but still, knowing that didn’t make him any less irritating lol. he could be deeply hypocritical at times and his tendency to randomly explode at shion was grating. on the plus side, it’s always very satisfying whenever we do get a glimpse of his more vulnerable side.

them as a pair though… i’m not a huge fan of the “fate brought us together” trope so i was skeptical at first. nezumi being so prickly and moody at first didn’t help either, but shion. oh shion, he tried so hard to worm himself into nezumi’s heart, to prove himself worthy, that i couldn’t help but be charmed. to me, they started out more like “snarky senpai and curious kouhai” as opposed to “friends” or even “potential enemies” as nezumi liked to insist they were, which made for an amusing dynamic. 

and while they did grow on me over time, they don’t make me feel that INTENSE CHEST STABBING feeling that i get with other ships. idk why, i mean, their sarcastic exchanges were amusing, their brutally honest arguments were compelling, and the pining (which is my #1 weakness) was through the fucking roof with shion. but still, something was missing.

sidenote on something the author mentioned in the guidebook interview (my own rough t/l):

I like writing about relationships between people of the same sex, not just boys. When it comes to the opposite sex, the end result of being attracted to each other is always romantic love, or getting married…… To a certain extent, the “template” for that is already fixed, isn’t it? But when it comes to the same sex, there can exist a connection that can’t be expressed in the usual cliched words like friendship, camaraderie, love, hatred… I think there’s meaning in writing about relationships that can’t be clearly defined. What’s between Shion and Nezumi is a “one-of-a-kind connection” that’s born out of a certain situation, out of certain experiences that only they have gone through. I wanted to find out what exactly that connection is, which was why I wanted to try writing it. Of course, that “one-of-a-kind connection” would probably exist between people of the opposite sex as well. After all, the feelings that emerge from a chance meeting of two human beings can never be something that’s mass-produced. But still, I think the one thing that I really enjoy writing about has got to be the unique emotions that develop between people of the same sex.

i know she doesn’t mean anything negative here, but idk… it kinda reminds me of the way yoshida akimi discussed ash and eiji’s relationship in banana fish, and the way she discussed what she found so special about same-sex relationships that is lacking in m/f relationships. and something about it bugs me so much. i don’t even know why or how to explain it… 

it sounds like to them, there’s something fundamentally “different” about same-sex relationships. "different” doesn’t necessarily mean “bad” and in fact, it even sounds positive in this context because the implication is that that “difference” allows for more freedom and variety in relationship dynamics. but i guess, the closest thing that i can come up with is that it sounds… othering? i don’t know….......

speaking of which, i suppose shion/safu is a subversion of that typical m/f relationship. shion can never love her the way she wants him to, which is heartbreaking, but also refreshing in a way.

and you know what… it just occurred to me that maybe, maybe… it’s the same with shion and nezumi. and maybe that’s why something about them feels off to me. i mean, obviously the strength of their feelings for each other is indisputable, but idk if the essence of it is the same. 

shrugs. anyway, yeah.

the honest truth is that, while i enjoyed their interactions immensely, they just don’t ignite the same fire in me as all my other otps. that said, i still do have a lot of thoughts on them! maybe that’s a post for another day.

some other stray thoughts:

- was it ever explained how nezumi built his robo rats? or where tf he managed to gather so many gold coins? was this something the story just handwaved or did i just forget?

- nezumi wanting to leave on a journey at the end baffled me. even though him eventually leaving was foreshadowed a couple times, he never really struck me as a wanderer to begin with. but now that i think about it… i wonder if he’s leaving bc he wants to, or rather, needs to look out for any other remaining forests and natural environments. that’s what his people did, didn’t they? protect the forests. i wonder if he’s going to go look for others like himself. after all, he’s the only surviving indigenous person left in the area surrounding no.6, isn’t he? hmmm.

language-wise... this is my first proper japanese (light) novel so i’m feeling kinda accomplished rn! lol. it was surprisingly not as tough as i had expected. i think the most difficult part was actually reading the quotes at the beginning of each chapter bc it’s in a font that’s so hard to make out.

oh, and again, some parts felt really redundant. i kept wondering if it was a language thing or an author thing. either way, i felt like there were quite a few unnecessary rehashes that could’ve been omitted to improve the pacing. 

sequels, other adaptations...

i’ve not read “beyond” yet, which apparently has sequel-ish bits? i’ve ordered it, it’s on its way, but i have a feeling my impression won’t change that much even after i’ve read it. heck, it might get worse judging by all these lukewarm reviews. i’m definitely gonna see this through to the end, but i’m feeling kinda scared now lol.

i might check out the anime? based on the summaries on wiki, it sounds like quite a lot has been altered, but i’m still curious about the visuals. dunno if i’d wanna check out the manga. if it’s exactly the same as the novels or the anime then maybe not…

oh yeah, their anime/manga versions look quite different to how i imagined them! mine’s closer to the novel covers i guess. especially nezumi. i imagined him with short hair. maybe not all super saiyan like the one below, but yea.

lastly, i just had a good look at all the vol covers and i actually think they look pretty cool! i’m really glad i chose to get this version instead of the bunkobon. i mean, i don’t know if i will ever reread this again, but at least the covers are nice to look at haha.

[i-breathe-therefore-i-read]

Revenants Series by Amy Plum

In the City of Lights, two star-crossed lovers battle a fate that is destined to tear them apart again and again for eternity. When Kate Mercier's parents die in a tragic car accident, she leaves her life--and memories--behind to live with her grandparents in Paris. For Kate, the only way to survive her pain is escaping into the world of books and Parisian art. Until she meets Vincent. Mysterious, charming, and devastatingly handsome, Vincent threatens to melt the ice around Kate's guarded heart with just his smile. As she begins to fall in love with Vincent, Kate discovers that he's a revenant--an undead being whose fate forces him to sacrifice himself over and over again to save the lives of others. Vincent and those like him are bound in a centuries-old war against a group of evil revenants who exist only to murder and betray. Kate soon realizes that if she follows her heart, she may never be safe again.

*What I thought: 4 out of 5 stars

read: 05/18

I like the take on the revenants. Not quite ghosts and not quite vampires but pieces pulled from them kinda make the revenants. I like the jokes everyone makes about it. lol. I like that there are bad and good numa because how can you have a story without good and evil?

Kate has her tragic past and weirdly the world of the dead brought back her life. I honestly don’t think I would be able to handle it as well as Kate....though she did have a freak out moment which it was totally understandable. 

I loved everyone that was Vincent’s kindred especially Jules and Ambrose. Everyone was a cool bunch and loved Kate immediately. 

I liked her grandparents. They’re the cool grandparents that everyone wants as their own lol....except me, my grandma is awesome. I liked and disliked her sister. She didn’t listen as much when Kate tried to warn her, but I guess that’s what sister’s are for lol. But then she always was conscience of being there for Kate.

The fight with the big bad numa was pretty neat. I liked how that went down.

Being set in Paris makes me want to visit and go everywhere she did.

Kate and Vincent have overcome the odds and at last they are together in Paris, the city of lights and love. As their romance deepens there’s one question they can’t ignore: How are they supposed to be together if Vincent can’t resist sacrificing himself to save others? Although Vincent promises that he’ll do whatever it takes to lead a normal life with Kate, will that mean letting innocent people die? When a new and surprising enemy reveals itself, Kate realizes that even more may be at stake—and that Vincent’s immortality is in jeopardy.

*What I thought: 4 out of 5 stars

read: 05/18

Didn’t like there wasn’t much of Kate and Vincent in this one. They spent more time apart than together :( They both were trying to figure out how to make things work for them. And that brings up how I thought it was neat Kate found the story that was similar to her situation with Vincent and who she found because of it. Vincent’s way brings up the next point...the “villain”. I kinda figured out who the villain was early on. It was obvious to me but I can see how they didn’t figure it out because that person was sneaky. It’s always the one you least expect.

The characters are still great. I like there was more of Kate’s sister Georgia and how willing she was to help. I like the build up to the next book because that ending...I hope it’s not true or there is something that makes it better in the next one.

I will not lose another person I love. I will not let history repeat itself. Vincent waited lifetimes to find me, but in an instant our future together was shattered. He was betrayed by someone we both called a friend, and I lost him. Now our enemy is determined to rule over France’s immortals, and willing to wage a war to get what they want. It shouldn’t be possible, none of it should be, but this is my reality. I know Vincent is somewhere out there, I know he’s not completely gone, and I will do anything to save him. After what we’ve already fought to achieve, a life without Vincent is unimaginable. He once swore to avoid dying—to go against his nature and forsake sacrificing himself for others—so that we could be together. How can I not risk everything to bring my love back to me?

*What I thought: 4 out of 5 stars

read: 05/18

I really like the start of the book with them trying to figure out a way to get Vincent away. It was neat on them searching for the information and finding it. Some trial and error and they finally got their way. Yay! It was something wild and I find it hard that it would work that way.

Wow, there was some things that I didn’t expect but some things I figured out it was going to go that way. I saw who the champion was early on, it was something that wasn’t at all subtle in the book. The unexpected part was what happened to Kate. Like holy bananas I didn’t see that coming...but yet it fits her? It really helped her towards the end. I really like how things went down and how they defeated the numa.

Her family was just awesomesauce. I didn’t like her sister’s games when it came to boys but she was all about helping and being there for Kate. 

Overall, I liked the series. They were interesting and kept me entertained. 

[surveysonfleek]

596.

What kind of makeup do you think is appropriate for church? just simple makeup i guess. or whatever you feel tbh. What would you wear to church? just normal, neat clothing? Would/Do you like having brown eyes? it’s okay. nothing exciting. Do you spend a lot of time on the internet? probably at least an hour a day. Could you live without the internet? haha tbh probably not. i’d be incredibly bored but i’d find a way to get over it eventually.

Have you bought anyone a Christmas gift? yes. i’ve started but i need to keep it going before it gets too busy. Do you have a Christmas tree in your house now? yes. How do you feel when someone hates on Apple? i don’t care. you do you. Do you have an Iphone? If so, which one? yes. iphone 7. Favorite flavor of jello? strawberry or raspberry. I see. Do you have long toes? nope. What’s something someone said to you that bothered you? probably insults. What is one of your favorite compliments to recieve? something unexpected. Do you compliment other random people? sometimes. Could you see yourself buying a truck as your go to vehicle? haha neverrrr. What kind of car do you want? Something less than $100,000. are teslas under 100k? What kind of gift would you appreciate for your birthday? perfume, makeup, something i can use idk lol. Can you type fast? i can but not as fast as office workers i’m assuming. Can you type without looking at the letters? kinda. it’s not perfect though. Did you take typing classes? not officially but i had those typing classes as a pc game. What do you use Facebook for? just to stay up to date with friends and family. oh, and memes lol. What do you look like in your profile picture? i’m in mid laughter a coachella lol. Do you love cartoons? i don’t love it. but i don’t hate it. Name a band that you like. boyz ii men. Name a band you don’t like. coldplay. lol sorry. Name a genre of music you don’t like? country. What genre of music do you listen to around the house? rnb.

You think it’s wrong to tell a person ____. something that will hurt them. What kind of compliments have you given? personality traits, physical stuff. Would you rather give or receive? both haha. Do you paint your own nails? yes. Do you like acrylic nails? no i hate them. every time i get them it totally ruins my nails. What is your favorite red lipstick? ruby woo or lady danger by mac. What are your favorite colors to wear? black or dark colours. What colors do you NOT wear? neon colours lol. Where do you shop for most of clothes? usually h&m. What are your favorite clothing stores/shops? h&m, myer, boohoo, kmart, cotton on etc. What kind of shoes do you like? sneakers. Describe your style in one word. comfy. Describe your current personality in one or two words. bored. What is your opinion on weed? i’m not against it, i just don’t do it. australia has really strict rules against it, it’s annoying. Are you afraid of child birth/pregnancy? slightly. just scared of any complications etc. What are your favorite bottoms to wear? leggings. Do you like dresses? yes. it’s all i wear in summer. Would you rather be called a geek, a nerd or a dork? whatever i don’t care lol. Do you eat cake with a spoon or a fork? spoon. What age will you be next? 27. Did you graduate high school? 2008. Do you make youtube videos? If so, leave your URL i do but i’m not leaving my url lol. Do you flat iron your hair? sometimes. What physical features do you wish you had? ( name 2 ). nicer lips, toned body. Would you ever get plastic cosmetic surgery? probably not. Ever broken a bone? no. What are your favorite youtube videos to watch? travel vlogs, beauty videos, documentaries. What is your favorite sex position? ;) missionary haha. yeah, i’m boring. Do you like red lipstick? yes. What color will you paint your nails next? idk, whatever i feel on the day. What is one of your favorite Disney movies? mulan, aladdin and the lion king. If you could meet a real life Disney character who would it be? jasmine. Are you afraid of ghosts/hauntings? kinda lol. Do you like to play computer games a lot? no. Are you a sore loser? sometimes but i keep it to myself haha. What is your favorite game to play with family/friends? a lot of stuff. the resistance, codenames, monopoly etc. What is your beer of choice? pear cider. What do you plan to buy next? clothes. Do you like shopping? yes. What is one of your favorite things to do on the weekend? hang out with friends. Here, I’m giving you $500 dollars to one store, where would you spend it? any clothing store. Would you look good in a Beatle car? no. Do you play slug bug? idk what that is. What kind of computer are on? macbook pro. You are attracted to ___. nice guys. Do you like glitter? sometimes. Have you ever owned a Quija board? nope. Do you like to text? eh, kinda. it’s not something i aim to do daily but it happens. If you had to be an animal for Halloween, what would it be? a panda lol. Do you have more dry skin or oily skin? oily. i hate it. What kind of shampoo do you use? Be specific. heads and shoulders. apple fresh. Do you have acne? no, just random zits every once in awhile. You’re glad that you don’t ___. have work today. You’re glad that you do ___. get to chill right now. Your favorite cuss word? fuck. Are you obsessed with any superheros? nope lol. Do you read comic books? no. Do you like the Sunday paper and why or why not? nah, i haven’t read the newspaper in forever. Do you have cable? no. What’s a show you wish that was still on air? the office. Do you listen to the radio at all? sometimes. Do you like hip hop? yes. Do you like pretzels? yes! Do you like snow? i don’t mind it. i’ve only seen it twice. What’s your favorite thing about your favorite season? Name the season. autumn: the weather, fashion and makeup. Name something that starts with the first letter of your first name. dandelion. Name something that starts with the first letter of your middle name? varsity. And your lastname. diamonds. Do you have pets? If so, what and what are their names? yes, a dog named sky. You want your next pet to be what? idk if i’ll want another one anymore. Are you a religious person? nope. Do you like pina coladas? yes. Do you like coconut scents? yes! What is your favorite Bath and Body Works candles? any. i like all their scents. Would you spend 20 dollars on a candle? yes lol. What is the goriest thing you’ve seen in real life? idk, don’t wna think about it. Do you look in the mirror a lot? yes. Do you brush your teeth twice a day everyday? yes. What brand of toothpaste do you use? colgate. What is a dessert that you DON’T like? fruit salad. And one that you love? waffles. Twilight or Harry Potter? harry potter hands down. Would you rather be a vampire or a mermaid? mermaid. About how many times do you fart in a day? quite a lot hahaha. I see… well… what is your favorite angry music? emo. Do you have a favorite number? yes. Had a crush on somebody that every1 around u thought was ugly? hmm idk. Are you happy with your physical features? not entirely. P.E or Math? maths. Math or Science? science. Creative Writing or Art? art. When you doodle, what are you usually doodling? stars, eyes, my signature lol. What is something that you like that is really cheap in price? chinese food. What is something that you like that is kind of expensive? perfume. What do you do when someone is really rude to you in public? ignore it or give it back to them. Do you argue with your significant other a lot? no. Have you ever had a really painful breakup? no. Which is better smoking or vaping? lol smoking. Do you write in print or cursive? i do both. Do you have neat handwriting? it’s legible. What do you like to write with? pen. Do you keep a journal/diary? no. You should. Do you eat salads? yes. What do you like in your salad? If you do. If not, what is 1+1? everything in a greek salad except olives. If you HAD to change your eyecolor, what would you change it to? green or blue. What would you not change it to? black. What is one of your favorite colors? turquoise. Do you prefer to be pale or tan? Don’t say in between. tan. Favorite thing to do on your phone? social media. What magazines do you like? i haven’t read magazines in forever. What is your favorite book? the harry potter series. What is your favorite thing about Christmas? food, family time, gifts. I’m giving a ticket to wherever you want, where would you go? japan. Here’s $5, what do you do with it? idk, save it for a random buy. Cool. Cool. Favorite flavor of Ice Cream? cookie dough. Least favorite flavor of ice cream? chocolate. Do you prefer white or black electronics? black. What is your favorite deodorant? lady speedstick. Are you a good kisser ( make out )? i guess so. A stranger comes up to you and gives you a big hug, what do you do? lightly pat them back. Do your eyes tear up when you’re nervous? no. Have you ever gotten the shakes in public? no. What do you like to order from Starbucks? iced coffee or a caramel frappe. Vanilla or Chocolate? vanilla. Apples or Bananas? bananas. Fruit or Veggies? veggies. Water or Milk? water. Regular Milk or Chocolate Milk? chocolate. Would you milk a cow given the chance? i guess so. What kind of underwear do you like? boy shorts. Where do you shop for your underwear? bonds. Chicken or Fish? chicken. Firm pillow or soft pillow? in between. What are you wearing when you go to sleep? old tees or pyjamas. Do you take any meds? If so which and why? birth control. Do you like this survey? meh. a bit long.

[shutupandblog]

cute tags

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? // more milk! 2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? // YES OMG YES. 3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? // forks, notes, socks....anything I find in that moment... 4: how do you take your coffee/tea? // tea: just with water. coffee: flavoured creamer.... 5: are you self-conscious of your smile? // YEAH. 6: do you keep plants? // my mom forces her plants onto me so I have unexpected children to take care of. 7: do you name your plants? // no, I'll feel bad if I forget their names. 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? // songwriting 9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? // sing out loud, man. but yeah. 10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? // fall asleep on back easiest but wake up on my side. 11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? // innovation at its finest, man. 12: what's your favorite planet? // saturn 13: what's something that made you smile today? // finding some of my old songs and realizing that they're not ALL lost. I was a genius in 2014 and backed it up on usb wow 14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? // open concept omf hit me with the natural light and big windows. no walls. big kitchen. no curtains. piano. hardwood. pictures in frames. 15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! // "The Apollo astronauts' footprints on the moon will probably stay there for at least 100 million years." Source: https://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=3&ved=0ahUKEwji75-ZwYXXAhWqxFQKHSroDssQFggxMAI&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmashable.com%2F2014%2F03%2F05%2Fsun-stars-space-facts%2F&usg=AOvVaw2BqM1yEL36GBccqMtEtOWs) 16: what's your favorite pasta dish? // i don't normally eat pasta so every time i see pasta i'll take anything. 17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? // grey and lavender. 18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. // 19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? // i keep a lyric dump journal! 20: what's your favorite eye color? // GREEN 21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. // my navy backpack was with my throughout high school and ib and i'm still using it in uni, so it's been to hell twice. 22: are you a morning person? // hell no 23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? // listen to all my cd's and find new artists...song write...listen to more music... 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? // yes 25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? // lol none 26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? // threw them out yo 27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? // banana  28: sunrise or sunset? // sunrise 29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? // my one friend has a habit of crossing her legs and tapping her foot that’s in the air when she listens / hums music and it’s sO CUTE. 30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? // yeah. my mom went through a rough time and I hated being awake. 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. // in general: no socks. Weird socks are cool. I usually take off my socks as soon as I walk in through the front door. If I wear songs, they’re ankle length. Can’t do anything higher than that. I hate tights, I don’t do tights. 32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. // i literally think we woke up at 4 to watch MAMA 2015 together. 33: what's your fave pastry? // i have no idea....bread pudding served on pie crust and ice cream? 34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? // it’s gone. but it was called bonsai and it was a giant ass panda and i miss it. I had to get rid of it because we were moving and its head got ripped off. Or, ripped in half should I say. 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? // I love them but I never indulge in it!!! alkjngakjdfd 36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? // my mood right now? omg bts - wings. 37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?  // messy. 38: tell us about your pet peeves! // wet bathroom floors, getting my socks wet, sweaty in the winter, when people touch my things and don’t put them back where they are supposed to be so i can’t find it ugh, touching people’s food while doing dishes (SCRAPE YOUR PLATE @ SIBLINGS), people stepping on my shoes, looming too close to me while talking....etc.... 39: what color do you wear the most? // grey, black, pink. 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? // all my jewelry is meaningless bc I bought it all myself. Ahh- I have this one pearl necklace that my grandpa and dad bought for me in china and I haven’t worn it once. 41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? // gallagher girls series 42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! // i’m not a coffee person 43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? // myself a few mornings ago when I was going to my lab and waiting at the bus stop. 44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? // when i was in hawaii doing the longest hike of my life and finally reaching the “end” of the island and you could see no city. Just sea lions, turtles and water. Dark stones. Wind. It was just myself and it was quiet and it was so beautiful. I have so many videos. 45: do you trust your instincts a lot? // fuck that shit, I got so many q’s wrong on tests because of it. 46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. // gravity sucks. 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? // onions omf 48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? // the dark. and yeah. 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? // I LOVE CDs. Last record I bought: paramore- after laughter (i think). 50: what's an odd thing you collect? // cineplex tickets and guitar picks. 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? // my friend S- I associate her with the song “Tokyo Jellybean” by Ingrid St-Pierre. She’s one of my favourite artists. I have never told her this. 52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? lol cracking a cold one with the boys bc my psych always opens a pop can in the middle of this lecture (ALL THE TIME) and i just get reminded. 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? only heathers bc my friend showed it to me and I really liked it! 54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? // my friend Y. 55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? // raised my voice? 56: what are some things you find endearing in people? // being completely absorbed in their work, drinking coffee and looking out the bus window, falling asleep in random places. 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? // uhh i just use this song to check if my right headphone is working lol 58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? // wine mom is T and vodka aunt is Y. I mean, if you meet them you’ll know. 59: what's your favorite myth? // im uneducated 60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? // i like poetry- short poetry. 61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? // I gave cough drops / i received paperclip holders 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? // i’m a morning water person 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? // YEAH I AM. Bookshelf man. 64: what color is the sky where you are right now? // black 65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? // no bc if I haven’t seen you in a long time, I’ve probably dropped you. 66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? // baby’s breath, blue bells, daisy. 67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? // I LIVE FOR THOSE DAYS 68: what's winter like where you live? // either snowy heaven or mushy hell 69: what are your favorite board games? // i’m basic, so monopoly. 70: have you ever used a ouija board? / no 71: what's your favorite kind of tea? // oolong or vanilla something.... 72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? // yeah i really need to 73: what are some of your worst habits? // drop my clothes all over the bedroom floor and leave them there.  74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. // a breath of fresh air 75: tell us about your pets! // i had a goldfish once but on the car ride home to my house it died. 76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? // STUDYING WTF AM I DOING ANSWERING A 100 QUESTION TAG 77: pink or yellow lemonade? // PINK 78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? // i’m a spectator  79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? // painted me fake polaroids and stuck them in a colouring book omg 80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? // tan. it’s the colour of my entire house.  81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. // didn’t pass engl man i can’t do this 82: are/were you good in school? // i WAS 83: what's some of your favorite album art? // rise against, fob, volbeat, ingrid st pierre, ts, bts. 84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? // i’ve always wanted a roman numeral tattoo but i don’t do commitment. 85: do you read comics? what are your faves? // i only read peanuts and archie as a kid 86: do you like concept albums? which ones? // i only listen to pink floyd ..the wall. 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? // not a movie person. can’t comment. 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? // idk.... 89: are you close to your parents? // sure 90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. // tokyo omg god save me 91: where do you plan on traveling this year? // the farthest i’ll get is my bed 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? // barely sprinkles a pinch 93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? // up 94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? // my auntie 95: what are your plans for this weekend? // this weekend is over and so is my academic career 96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? // procrastinate 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? // 1. don’t know, 2. scorpio, 3. ravenclaw 98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? // real hike: this summer in hawaii, fake hike: w my friends downtown. I loved both times the same. 99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. // Exo- what if/my answer, Taylor- all too well/never grow up, Shawn: running low, Alessia: my song, Bts: sea, Pierre Luc lessard: sans combat 100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? // 5 years in the future. The past 5 years have been hard.

I tag: @kabul1998, @iamnotmadamebovary

[bitofbookishness]

My tummy is annoying and my tastebuds are naughty!

The last few weeks I have been having major problems with (my suspected IBS - don’t bother telling me to see a doctor because I won’t) my digestive system fussing about everything from the teeniest bit of onion to coffee to sugary things to too much wheat. In the past I’ve found that the low FODMAP diet* has helped a lot with these digestive troubles, and eased my anxiety as well. But I find that I can still eat too much sugar on it, which still isn’t great for my digestive system, energy levels, brain and general sense of wellbeing. 

At the start of this year I followed, for two amazing but kinda hard months, the principles of I Quit Sugar by Sarah Wilson^, while still trying to stick to low FODMAP. Alas, after Easter and those mounds of chocolate, I totally lost my resolve to not have sugar and have instead gone back to scoffing the stuff like a fiend. And now my body hates me again! One of the unexpected benefits of IQS was that I could tolerate some of the higher FODMAP foods like apples and more wheat. But now my body isn’t fond of them anymore because it’s being so taxed by sugars. So now, I’m trying to cut it out again, but it’s so very hard to do, because I’m an addict and a lover of indulging in guilty pleasures!

I’m now trying to pull off the amazing feat that will be low FODMAP and IQS! Naturally, I’m not able to perfectly follow either one, and tweaking a lot of recipes, and wishing my digestive system wasn’t so bananas. I just have to remember that I really need my digestive system to be happy again. So I’m thinking that maybe a few mental tricks will help, like choosing to pick a different kind of poison: apples (high FODMAP!) over chocolate bars, especially when snuck into a nice bread and butter pudding!

I’ll be writing more about this, so follow <#the happy tummy files>!

*There is a lot online, and quite a few published books, about low FODMAP, so look it up if you or someone you know has problems with dairy, apples, onions, wheat, soy, etc.

 ^ Sarah Wilson has published a bunch of books about a food approach that helps her with her autoimmune problems. She cuts out foods with processed sugars and trans fats, but includes a lot of fructose foods like apples, onions (which I always leave out!) and wheat (in reduced amounts). You can find her books and blog online too!

[brain-spasm-of-musical-emotion]

Before their latest album « Murder of The Universe » is released King Gizzard and The Lizard Wizard were playing on stage at the This Is Not A Love Song Festival in Nîmes. A perfect occasion to meet Stu Mackenzie singer of the band, in order to talk about the history of this extraordinary band straight out of Melbourne.

This group of seven Australians including two drummers and a harmonica (answer to this John Dwyer) sows chaos to each of its representations. Their tours are systematically sold out and the slightest new thing from the band on the internet such as a new video or any image from instagram arouses general hysteria. Announced as the closing act of This Is Not A Love Song Festival the members weren’t all there for the following interview but we got the “thinking head” for 15 minutes.

I heard you often go doing impro in Daptone Records’ studios in New York.

We recorded a few times there and I’m In Your Mind Fuzz and Nonagon Infinity were conceived there. It’s an amazing place I’d like to go back more often but as we’re always touring we don’t really have time to stop in New-York. We don’t play a lot there so it limits the possibilities.

But now you have your own studio in Melbourne

Yes but it’s not exclusive. Sometimes it’s hard to plan to record an album ahead not knowing what’s gonna happen in the meantime nor where we will be. The fact to have our own studio allows us not to be dependent from others. It’s rather messy and empty like a box of sardines smelling like sweat but we can do everything there. It’s small but it does the job, it’s cool. Our love home-studio.

You have the reputation to compose and record your songs in one day and one take.

It was like this for “Flying Microtonal Banana” but for this album it was even worse than that giving we recorded 21 songs in 3 days. Most of the songs are actually quite basic whether it’s the lyrics, the composition or the guitar riffs. We’re used to improvise, to focus of specific chords suits and to find variations which are linked and get fucked-up. This is how we compose and record and you can hear it clearly on some of our albums. And yeah generally it works in one take. We’re the dream band of every sound engineer.

Rightly a lot of your songs overlap into one another and are very similar. Where does this whim of making albums of several songs which actually only form one come from?

I’ve always liked recordings and albums which give you the feeling of being deep in a story with a logic continuity rather than an sequence of different songs. To me it seems like the right way of making albums.

By the way, a lot of your fans are talking about “gizzverse” on the internet a term that represents the universe and the links existing between your songs, lyrics, covers, videos… Is it intentional or are your fans the craziest on the planet?

No there are definitely a lot of links which refer to previous albums. The album isn’t released yet (at the moment of the interview) and it’s kinda funny to see all these theories on the web. When the album will be out things are gonna get clearer. I think that in everything that has been thought about Gizzverse (especially on Reddit) there are a lot of ideas we wouldn’t have never thought of. It’s kinda funny seeing this frenzy.

The guy who does the covers of the band is the same one since the beginning.

Yes Jason Galea and he also does the visuals for our gigs. He follows us everywhere when he has the time. He’s like the eighth member of the band. He works next to our recording studio in Melbourne and hears everything we do so he knows exactly what to propose to us to stick to the universes of the albums. He’s super involved in visual creation and there is a great alchemy between visual and sound. By the way on the road between Primavera Nos in Portugal and Nîmes we stopped on hills in Spain to shot a new video not far from the Pyrénées.

I heard you’re pretty interested in working in the cinema too. King Gizzard’s music could make an entire movie in a horrific style like Frankenstein.

I would love to be involved in such a project. If anyone reads these lines and would like to work with me I’m in! I think the band is already in an optic where visual takes a bigger place with our videos ; which is becoming more and more necessary for bands in general.

Your last album “Murder of The Universe” tells a story with a spoken word background. We’re not far from the cinema but in an auditory trip.

It’s true we had already done something similar with our album “Eyes Like The Sky”. This albums is cut in three chapters. The first one The Tale of The Altered Beast explores the themes of temptation and tells the story of a human being who meets a hybrid and mystical creature half-human half-beast. The second one The Lord of Lightning vs. Balrog is focused on a big battle between two entities nicknamed Lord of Lightning and Balrog who represent light’s strength against darkness. The third one Han-Tyumi & The Murder of The Universe deals with a cyborg starting to becoming conscious of its nature and becomes obsessed with throwing-ups and deads. He decides to create a creature named Soy-Protein Munt Machine which only purpose is to vomit. This machine explodes and infinitely expulses throwing-ups which encompass the whole universe and destroy it. Whence the name of the album.

The person who tells the story of the album is an Australian singer signed on your record label Flightless.

Yeah Leah Senior is amazing. We recorded her second album. By listening to it I became obsessed by her voice and we decided she’d be perfect to tell the story of Murder of The Universe. She came in total impro and she killed it.

For most people when we talk about garage and psychedelic rock we usually think about California. But with your band but also The Babe Rainbom, The Murlocs, ORB, POND…. Is Australia the new psych rock nirvana?

From my humble experience, Australia has a long story with rock & roll. But I don’t think things have particularly changed these past years. There always have been brilliants bands. But I think we can still thank Tame Impala for bringing the spotlights on our country recently.

You planned on releasing five album this years. At about half of it you released two. Isn’t your bet a bit bold as you’re always on the road?

We’re gonna try! We have a few ideas we might release but the first one is already happening.

You arrived at quite a heavy moment, hard to surpass in terms of violence. How’s the suite gonna sound?

It’s the angriest album we’ve ever done. For what is about to be released at the end of the year it’s gonna be calmer. The next one will be rather mellow jazz. We worked on it with Alexander Brettin from Mild High Club, a great Los Angeles band. They came to play our Gizzfest in Australia last November. He stayed a few weeks at home and we went to the studio every day. He had dome ideas of pieces and a lot of weed. After many trips back and forth between Melbourne and Los Angeles it was finished. It will be called “Sketches of Brunswick East” It’s a bit of a meeting between our two bands it’s fun. It’s a bit unexpected as a result, it’s a weird experimental jazz, very melodic. It will happen quickly. Jason is already working on the cover.

Don’t you ever stop? Worse than Ty Segall

I think in life you can’t do nothing indefinitely. I have to continually do something because I go crazy otherwise. Uselessness kills.

We could say that with King Gizzard’s music and particularly with Murder of the Universe you are apocalypse soldiers. What do you think?

I think the world we live in is going down. I don’t know if human condition is made to last there are so many things that can happen. I think in general people are afraid to openly talk about dangers we can meet because it is scary to think about the worst. When you think about future generations, having children, environment, artificial intelligence… it’s not necessarily cheerful but it’s important to think about it and not pretend everything is alright. Sometimes I think it’s interesting to make the music I make with King Gizzard a bit fanciful and SF but we’re not that far from reality in a way. It’s kinda the challenge of Murder of The Universe to open the discussion. I don’t care about talking about death, it’s part of life.

[you-andthebottlemen]

18 - Van’s POV

Request: “can you do running into van after breaking up but he still loves you?”

This one’s very much ‘Van lost in his own head’ - hopefully I managed to capture that since I obviously have no clue what that boys’ inner monologue is actually like. This one kinda tugs at my heart strings too wahhhh xx 

****************

Larry had gone out tonight without me, which was a rare occurrence. 

He’d told me he had forgotten to get stuff to do the laundry with and we were out, so he sent me to the shops in his place. I hated grocery shopping, there was just too much choice and it irritated me. These things didn’t have to be so complicated, you know? 

Why were there so many different types of laundry detergent? Surely you only need one to wash your clothes? You have your deep clean, high-efficiency, eco-friendly, downy and scented, top loader...but what the fuck is ‘liquid relaxation laundry’ detergent?

I stood there in the aisle with my arms crossed, staring at the many varieties of detergent. The fluorescent yellow lights of the supermarket made me feel a little dizzy and they flickered every so often, which only made it feel like I was in some eerie film. I’m only a simple lad, these fancy detergents seemed unnecessary. I shook my head and finally settled on the eco-friendly, excited to get out of there and head home to watch some Austin Powers reruns with the place to myself. 

“Van?” An all too familiar voice said hesitantly, bringing me back to reality and out of my deep laundry detergent contemplation.

My stomach dropped at the sound. I turned slowly and saw y/n standing halfway down the grocery aisle, arms full of toilet paper and a stunned look on her face. I glanced around briefly before giving an awkward smile. I hadn’t seen y/n since she broke up with me. Something I was trying and failing, to forget about. I walked over and took some of the packs of toilet paper from her arms as she was struggling.

“Thanks,” she said awkwardly and I nodded, still not saying anything.

What could I say? ‘Hi y/n, I still love you even though you broke my fuckin’ heart’? No.

I followed her to the checkout, laundry detergent under my arm. I placed down the packs of toilet paper for her and stood there staring while she rummaged through her bag for her wallet. She still wore her mum’s old leather jacket and her silver charm bracelet. My heart ached. 

When she looked up, I quickly glanced away from her and pretended to be interested in the chocolate bars on the counter. 

“I thought Larry did the shopping?” Y/n asked as I paid for my detergent.

“Uh yeah he does. Couldn’t do it today though,” I replied bluntly, not able to meet her eyes. I felt empty.

We left the store together and headed into the half-empty car park. My palms were sweating like mad and I was clutching onto the plastic shopping bag tightly, my knuckles close to turning white. I couldn’t help but have flashbacks of the last time I saw y/n. 

She was crying in the back of the tour bus frantically looking up flights, telling me it was too hard to be with me. I begged her that it wasn’t, that I’d fix things and try harder. She said that my life was just too chaotic to fit her into it anymore. Once she’d made up her mind about leaving, she didn’t look back. She packed her things that night and even despite my arguments she left as soon as she’d filled her suitcase. I followed her to the airport but she had already disappeared. She even blocked my number. All of it. As if I never existed.

Every day I regretted not making her more of a priority. Like somehow that would have changed things. She always told me the band came first but I wish, even just once I’d put her first instead. Stopped to realise that while the band was the dream, she was too. I wish I’d never cancelled dates for an unexpected interview or chosen to sleep the day through instead of staying up to watch her favourite films with her on days off. I wish I’d been there when she’d lost her job and when she got told her best friend was sick. I wish I hadn’t tried to drag her on tour when I knew she couldn’t leave her life behind, just because it suited me better. 

I wish I’d been better. 

“Do you want to grab coffee, Van?” She asked me and I hesitated, totally lost in my thoughts, before agreeing.

.......

We sat across from each other at a small corner table at the cafe down the road. I pretended it didn’t hurt to be back here with her. I tried to push away the memories of the few coffee dates we’d had and the times she’d drop by the studio with jaffa cakes for Larry and banana bread for me. She didn’t seem at all phased by this though. I guess she’d moved on. In a way I was glad for her, I was a piece of shit boyfriend. 

Y/n ordered me a Yorkshire tea and a latte for herself. She drank coffee now; that was new. I couldn’t help but look at her and notice all the things that had changed and all the things that hadn’t. It had been a solid half a year since I’d seen her, maybe more. Her hair had grown out longer and her nose was dotted with new freckles. It killed me that I hadn’t watched it happen, that she was changing without me. She didn’t have those soft purple circles under her eyes anymore and her cheeks were full of colour; she looked healthier, less stressed. She was as beautiful as ever. Her eyes still sparkled and her lips were still ever so slightly chapped in a way that made her look humble and soft. I could see the thick layer of chapstick over them; obviously, she still had that cute habit of slathering it on when she went outside.

“So how have you been?” Y/n asked. What a question. 

“Alright. Touring, recording, repeat. You know?” I replied, unsure of what else to say. Nothing had changed since she left except I had a massive hole in my heart from where she used to be. As pathetic as that sounded.

The waitress then came over with our drinks, saving me from having to fill the awkward silence after she didn’t respond. I stirred my tea and avoided y/n’s gaze.

“I’m sorry,” she said simply and suddenly; as if the words had been trying to burst out long before now. “I shouldn’t have left you like that. I should have called you back, I should have spoken to you instead of just giving up.”

“Don’t be sorry y/n. I understand why it happened. I was a fuckin’ twat and I’ll never be able to properly tell you how sorry I am. For everything,” sadness and regret dripped from my tongue. 

As much as I wanted to get down on my knees in front of her and beg for her forgiveness and tell her I was sorry a million times, I knew it was no use. I couldn’t turn back time. 

We sat in silence, I sipped my tea and avoided making eye contact. Eventually, she asked me more questions about the band and how my parents were doing. I could only muster simple responses and I couldn’t bring myself to ask her anything about herself past a simple ‘how are you’. But she told me about her new job and her terrible boss and about how she now lived in a share house with four other girls. Explains all the toilet paper. She also told me her friend was now in remission; cancer free. Thank fuck.

I couldn’t take my eyes off the small lines that formed around her mouth and eyes when she smiled or spoke. The sound of her voice again was like a surreal memory coming back to me. It was clear she was happy and doing well; she didn’t seem to have feelings for me anymore. It was the most bittersweet feeling in the world.

“You’re quieter than usual,” she commented, sipping on her latte. 

She spoke as if we had only seen each other last week. A million different thoughts raced through my head, I felt like my heart was going to break out of my chest it was beating so fast. Fuck it.

“I’m still really fucking in love with you, y/n.” 

[timelordthirteen]

FOR RENT!VERSE PROMPT!!!!!!!! Belle bakes "too many" cookies/brownies/yummy things totally NOT having her new, sexy, neighbor in mind after he ever so sweetly helped her paint her new house, giving her an excuse to go over to his place, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

For Rent - Part 3

[AO3]

Note: This is just silly and fluffy which kinda makes it fun to write. Anyway, nothing else wanted to be written so here we are.Unbeta’d and I’m sure errors abound.

Gold grumbled as a knock at the door interrupted his morning. He was washed, dressed, and his tea was nearly done. In twenty minutes he’d be leaving to open his shop by nine, as was his routine. As he approached the front door, several thoughts ran through this mind as to who it might be. Though he had allowed a tiny bit of hope that it might be his lovely neighbor, he didn’t actually believe that would be the case.

So of course when he pulled open the door and saw Belle French on the other side, he gaped like a fish.

Belle bit her lip as she looked up at him. “Good morning, Mr. Gold.”

He nodded dumbly.

“Is this a bad time?”

Gold shook himself and smiled. “No - no. And good morning.” he managed to reply. “This is just a bit - unexpected.”

She shrugged and held out a plate which he looked down at with curiosity. “What’s this then?”

“There, um, for you,” she explained, nodding towards the platter. “I thought - you know since you helped me paint.”

His lips pressed together as he reached for the proffered muffins. “Blueberry?”

Belle nodded and grinned. “I noticed you order one sometimes at Granny’s. I thought - um, if you don’t like them -”

Gold’s eyes snapped from the plate in his hand to her face. “No!” he exclaimed. “I mean they’re - they’re fine. My favorite as it happens.”

He wasn’t the sort to lie to be nice, not even where Belle French was concerned. Blueberry really was one of his favorites. He could just barely smell them, and that combined with the foggy patch on the cling wrap covering the plate suggested that she had made them just that morning. Fresh homemade muffins delivered by the lovely Miss French seemed like a gift from the gods. He just barely resisted licking his lips.

She beamed at him, her hands clasped together in front of her. “I’m so glad!”

He smiled back at her and turned to set the platter of muffins down on the sideboard just inside the door. “You didn’t have to do this,” he said. “As much as I love a nice plate of muffins, helping you was - my pleasure.”

Belle flushed and looked down at her shoes for a moment. “I know, but I was making some for the fundraiser at the library, and just made a few too many.”

“Ah.” He tugged on the bottom of his suit jacket, straightening it needlessly. Then he frowned. “Fundraiser?”

She nodded again. “Yes, the city inspector found a few more issues in course of inspecting my former apartment.”

Her lifted eyebrows and tilted head made him wonder. “A few issues?”

Belle sighed. “Something about old lead pipes and the roof repairs …” She trailed off and waved a hand, sighing heavily as her palm slapped against her thigh. “Anyway, Mayor Mills said there’s only enough in the budget to do half the work, so I’m starting a bit of a fundraiser. It’s just a little bake sale for now. I made some brownies and caramels, and Mary Margaret is helping. And I think Sister Astrid is going to get me some of those candles…?”

She trailed off again and took a breath, shrugging as she met Gold’s eyes again. “Sorry, I, um, ramble sometimes.”

Gold shook his head and smiled. “It’s no matter, Miss French,” he said. “But I insist on making a contribution to this fundraiser in exchange for these lovely muffins you’ve gifted me.”

He started to reach in his inside jacket pocket for his checkbook when Belle reached out and stopped him.

“No!” she exclaimed, squeezing his arm.

He froze when her hand touched him, and after a second she pulled away, clenching her hand into a fist and pressing it to her chest.

“I - I’m sorry, Mr. Gold,” she said, plaintively. “But those were a gift for helping me when you didn’t have to, because I very much appreciated it. You’ve helped me out a lot in the last couple of months. I can’t take your money.”

He huffed and fixed her with a hard stare for a moment, then the corner of his mouth started to curve. “How about I come by the library then and buy some of your delicious baked goods?”

Belle’s lips twitched as she fought to keep a straight face. “That would be very generous of you.”

Gold inclined his head and glanced back at the plate of muffins awaiting him. “I have some time before I need to open my shop,” he said. “If you would like to, uh, come in and have some tea and perhaps a muffin?”

She bit her lip and gave him a slightly pained look. “That’s very nice of you, but I’m afraid I told Mary Margaret I’d be at the library by eight to start setting up a table for the bake sale.”

His face fell, but he nodded. “I understand,” he said, trying to keep the disappointment from his voice and failing. “Some other time?”

She nodded and cocked her head as she gave him a small smile. “I make a pretty good banana nut muffin too.”

His eyebrows lifted for a second. “My second favorite.”

Belle laughed, and Gold felt his spirits lift considerably. Before he stopped by the library he’d have to have a chat with Regina and find out exactly how much the repairs would cost and who had done the estimate. The library was important and he felt the town deserved quality work and an honest price. It had nothing to do with his concern for Miss French and her books or her livelihood. It was just his civic duty as a member of the town council, that was all.

And if he wrote an anonymous check for one very expensive brownie in the amount that the city couldn’t pay, well, that was just being a good citizen.

[brett-buckner-the-dirt]

“We survived, and I like to think we all came out a little better because of it. Her mother and I still talk about those Dark Ages and can’t help but smile, knowing how far The Diva’s come … not to mention taking more than a little credit for the wonderful mother she’s become to her own children. “

Pop-Pop and Kaylee

If you live long enough, life kinda comes full circle. Plus, you’ll see some seriously unexpected things.

It had been a simple weekend for Jellybean and me, which is to day … boring. We’d barely left the house, so starring down the barrel of Monday holiday, we decided to take a road trip to Auburn to spend the afternoon with The Diva and her ever-increasing family: Jase is a 4-year-old boy who is a Ph.D. level study in perpetual motion and chatter. Emmi is a 1-year-old girl who has shown a talent for wrapping everyone around her tiny fingers (this Pop-Pop included).

Kaylee and Kamryn are a pair of 4-month-old twin girls that I still can’t tell apart, save for the fact that one has a big head, though I can’t seem to remember which one. There’s nothing like stepping into someone else’s chaos to make you appreciate a little boredom.

Kaylee is in the yellow Bumbo and Kamryn is in the blue … I think.

But it was a great afternoon. I got to play Pop-Pop, helping assemble a kiddie kitchen that must’ve come from Ikea given its complexity. Thankfully, I had Jase to add the stickers (God, save me from stickers!). Though occasionally putting them on upside down, Jase was a huge help, in between offering a running – I mean that literally, the kid never, ever stops moving – commentary on Star Wars: A New Hope that was playing in the background.

Emmi watching Luke and Leia’s brave escape.

Emmi made sure I never lost the screwdriver, while I tried to make sure she didn’t choose to eat any of the plastic, rainbow-colored cup cakes that came with the kitchen. The twins sat and slept and sucked on bottles and just looked cute most of the day. That’s when they weren’t being nervously held by Jellybean, who loves being an aunt, but doesn’t always appreciate the hands-on necessity of the role when babies are around. We talked. We went on a walk. We hung out.

It was, to steal a line from the immortal Lou Reed, “A Perfect Day.”

It wasn’t until we were getting ready to leave that things took a turn for the surreal. I looked over and Jellybean and The Diva are peeling potatoes.

Now, with motherhood, The Diva has discovered a domestic side that I never imagined in my wildest dreams she’d excel at. Now she’s sending me Pinterst ideas and made a spaghetti meal that was so good, even Jellybean with back for seconds.

Jellybean and The Diva getting dinner ready.

But it was watching Jellybean that was truly eye-opening. The child wielding a knife for her sister with little complaint is the same child who makes me peel bananas for fear of bruising the fruit. This is when I realize that she’s been playing me for a sucker longer than I care to consider.

They were having fun … together. Something their Lovely Mother and I worried would never happen. It was totally natural, and just as natural was the inevitable mocking that came at my expense.

“I tell all my friends that Daddy’s half deaf,” Jellybean said. (It’s true. I can ‘t hear a damn thing out of my right ear).

“Yeah, but he can hear good enough to hear you sneaking out in the middle of the night.” How cool is it that we can all laugh about this now? And I mean actually laugh, rather than reliving a time that was anything but funny.

“You were just loud and really, really bad at sneaking around,” I added.

It was true.

The next morning, there was a pile of mulch The Diva and her friend had tracked into her room from the night before. It would serve as a starting point for several years’ worth of fighting, sneaking around (and not just by The Diva), threats and more weekend restrictions that, had they all been carried out, she’d still be sitting in her room in Jacksonville looking out as the seasons changed.

It was the best of times, it was the Dark Ages.

Funny, I’d give almost anything to go back there and do so many things differently. I like to think I’m not the only one. The Diva’s got some regrets, too. The Lovely Mother of My Children was the real hero of our melee. She had to not only stand-off against The Diva, but had to put up with my tattling every time The Diva stepped out of line.

It’s a wonder she didn’t put both of us in Time Out.

Plus, she was so much better at that whole “dispassionate cop” routine that the Yes! Your Teen is Crazy book preached. I could have tied a burlap sack over my face and my tone alone would have betrayed my feelings of annoyance, anger and disappointment. The Lovely Mother of My Children was raising two teenagers, but only one was legally designated as such.

Things got bad.

Then we moved to Columbus and things got worse. The Diva got better at her shenanigans, which I took as a personal challenge. I went so far as to dig through her trash can, pulled out a ripped note and taped the thing back together in search of explanation of her increasingly erratic behavior.

Funny how, as time passes, you remember the good more than the bad.

Her mother and I were scared. We didn’t know what to do. I thought I was doing the right thing. But, I also wanted to get her in trouble. I wanted to have an excuse to punish her. I was angry, not because she was so defiant, but because she made me worry. She took away my control. I’d never loved someone so much who simply wouldn’t listen to me.

And damn it, I was freakin’ wise.

I was like 35 years old. The Diva thought she knew everything, but I was the one who knew it all. I mean, hell, I’d been a father for like four years despite no previous experience, and I too had once been an angry teenager, who broke my momma’s heart out of some self-righteous rage.

I even knew who Lil’ Wayne was, but still, she wouldn’t listen.

Looking back, I can see that The Diva taught me how to be a father.

Seems like only yesterday that Sarah and I just me, but I like to think we’ve both come a long way.

And while I wish I’d done a better job; that I’d come equipped with the patience and understanding and didn’t treat her teenage madness as some sort of challenge. But I grew up watching Facts of Life, Punky Brewster and Growing Pains, where every problem from pregnancy and cheating on exams to kids suffocating in an abandoned refrigerator could be solved in 30 minutes and were never mentioned again.

Still, we survived, and I like to think we all came out a little better because of it. Her mother and I still talk about those Dark Ages and can’t help but smile, knowing how far The Diva’s come … not to mention taking more than a little credit for the wonderful mother she’s become to her own children.

Plus, the teenager who once hated us, is now a grown-up who calls asking for advice on parenting.

It was a perfect day "We survived, and I like to think we all came out a little better because of it.