#which would in fact also be biphobic

[fiapple]

other early buffy bi-coding includes: both her heart & spirit being initially coded as gay/bisexual (the writers weren’t sure which till tara came into the picture, & according to a semi-recent article, of which label pretty much until willow came out) & were intended as such, as the writers always knew one of them was going to come out.

[gb-patch]

Sorry to send another ask amongst the sea I'm sure you're receiving, but I find myself more concerned about Rose being a sensitivity reader as I find more information. One of Rose's friends continues to insist that the conversation about Tamarack and male MCs was part of a larger discussion about biphobia in the fandom. However, they claim that Rose's position is "people erase Tam's bi/pansexuality by refusing to portray [her] as being attracted to anything other than men." This explanation of Rose's belief is, in-and-of-itself, biphobic. It claims that portraying Tamarack as attracted to men erases her queerness. This is textbook biphobia and bi-erasure that I as a bisexual encounter every day. It is NOT a good-faith defense of a queer character. It reduces us down to our partners and makes the claim that if we end up in a relationship that's "straight-passing," we're erasing our queerness. Especially as a bi sapphic myself, it reduces my identity strictly to the perceived-man I'm dating, and not my inner or previous experiences, or those of my partner. It's very uncomfortable that Rose, a non-bisexual, was discussing this like they're defending Tamarack's queerness when they're doing the opposite.

This is a doubly strange position when Our Life is a game about the acceptance of love in all its forms. The conversation could be different, MAYBE, if Our Life was a TV show or a book or a comic. But this is a game where people are meant to play as characters of their own design. I do not feel confident about Rose being a sensitivity reader for a game with bi/pansexual love interests if these are their beliefs about bi/pansexuality, particularly if they're unable to adapt their opinions to be relevant to different formats of media; this shows they're lacking in skill in the areas of media literacy and critical thinking.

I’ve been trying to make a post that presents the concerns people have about this, but your ask touches on the points I was going to, and I’d say it’s better to have it said by a player than me deciding what people are thinking. So, this is something that I want to make clear- that I see this and other asks/comments about it. What you’ve said is something a lot of people are unsure and upset about. I am sorry that you feel so out of place in this community now. And I am also sorry to players of any sexuality who use a male MC. That comment dismissed players and Tamarack’s identity.

It did come from a longer discussion about bi-phobia issues. The overall feelings were “if people did only want Tamarack to be interested in men, I really wouldn’t like that and wouldn’t it be a funny concept if Tamarack then left them for a woman?”. The comment itself didn’t encompass that idea at all. It does not give a good impression about where they’re coming from. It was unkind.

The viewpoint Rose is trying to have isn’t that “Tamarack can never express an interest in men” which would be wrong, it’s “I stand by the fact that Tamarack is someone who wouldn’t only be interested in men and no one else”. If it’s true that Rose likes Tamarack being interested in all genders and doesn’t want her bi-ness to be forgotten, I’d say that’s an acceptable view. If the point actually is that Tamarack should only be with women and if she’s not than Tamarack is no longer bi or she’s a bad character, then you're right- that isn't acceptable and that is going to get someone removed from the project. I do believe Rose agrees with what you’re saying and means it when they say they want to stop bi-erasure, not participate in it for real. But they had a very harsh way of talking about it.

I understand that people don’t know Rose and this situation has made them believe they do seriously hold that first view. But from working with them, there’s never been any feedback that shows an opinion of the sort.

Right now, I think that comment was being edgy and making a quick, very poorly-worded quip to people they’d been chatting with about that topic already. Rose has left the GB Patch discord servers, they used to be a mod, and may or may not ever be back in there. Rose won’t make blog posts responding to players going forward. They’re going to take a break from this and then try to give helpful feedback. We’re going to see if things can be okay from here.

And with this coming up, we’re all really aware that it’s something to consider about the game. I’m going to be as conscious as I can for any advice that seems to go against the character’s identities and I’m going to question my own knee-jerk choices for how I handle things. Other sensitivity readers will be able to give their viewpoints as well, so will the players. If the game’s content isn’t welcoming or is biased people will notice, and I’ll be here to accept what I’ve done. I don’t want that to be the result of this, of course. I hope the game will be thoughtful and considerate, but I can’t fire Rose at this point to try doing that.

No one has to keep following the game, though. I’m sympathetic to anyone who is too uncomfortable with all this to stay around.

[m3r1m4r5u333]

I'm getting a bit tired of the fandom's overwhelming consensus that Eddie is surely gay even thought there are plenty reasons why his relationships with women would not have worked out.

Personally bisexuality makes more sense to me, and I feel like that's what the show is trying to show, too. And since the show already had "closeted gay man in a "straight" marriage, I think it would make more sense to go for Bi Eddie.

Because Eddie is different from Buck even if he's also bi. Religion. His family's expectations. Marriage. Parenthood. And I also think - earlier realization of sexuality even though he remains closeted. Fun fact: that's what bisexuals do! Even in supportive environments, we stay in the closet the most and the longest.

I'd really like for Eddie to be bi.

Eddie's the type of bi in disguise that the world is full of and nobody notices because the marriage with a woman would be a true one.

This matters because it seems like there's this odd idea that these bisexuals are doing fine in the closet. Why talk about them?

The reality is actually that according to just about every study, bisexuals are distinctly not fine.

The biphobia and erasure comes from all directions. People expect and understand the concept of heterosexuality and homosexuality well enough. Bisexuals...?

It's called the Double Closet. Expectation to either be straight, or gay, and if you're anything else you're just confused.

Also, bisexuals may not just have shitty parents. They also end up falling in love and marrying people who are biphobic. Fun times.

Anyway, I'm listing my reasons why Eddie being into women and men would make the most sense to me:

He agreed with Shannon that sex was never the issue for them.

His marriage to Shannon failing? He was young, the pregnancy was unplanned, he was pushed to marry a high-school sweetheart at young age and then facing the stress of trying to figure out how to raise a special needs child with her.

He went to a war, and returned traumatized. Trauma tends to make everything even harder.

Their mutual lack of trust and communication.

Meddling parents.

Perhaps... Being a closeted bisexual dating a woman who does not know.

Because that's one way to keep a partner at a distance - by hiding a part of yourself.

Losing a loved one, being afraid to love again.

Being pushed to date too soon after grief and trauma.

Falling for a male friend who he thinks is straight.

Being pushed to date someone else.

Oh and the panic attacks - Learning that his friends have died,

being shot by a sniper and thinking Buck was hurt,

ending up in a rapidly developing relationship with someone who is falling in love with him...

When he just likes her... but feels pressured to keep the relationship going anyway.

Because his son loves that person, and Eddie is programmed to go for marriage in every relationship he ends up in. Catholic guilt... They love marriage.

Family expecting him to be straight. Family pushing him to date despite him saying he isn't ready.

Being totally new in the dating world. No wonder he talks about performance anxiety and feeling like he needs to perform - his heart isn't in it.

Also he's probably never even been on dates. How to act on dates? He's not a teenager anymore, it's embarrassing and awkward to fumble and not know the dating culture.

Also when we first meet Eddie he's only been with one woman. Women aren't carbon copies. Sex can be intimate and awkward with someone new. Of course he'd be nervous.

Then finding out that his girlfriend was almost a nun... and being closeted bisexual!

And so on. Nothing actually says the man MUST be gay, and I feel weirded out by the insistence that he surely is gay.

I feel like... Maybe the show expected this, that people would dismiss his interest towards women, and wanted to make the queer community check their prejudice?

Because that episode which focuses on Eddie's fight club and has that super queer coded ice skating scene??

It's Hansel pushing Gretel away... How gay! Expect then we find out that Hansel was only scared that she would miss out an huge opportunity by staying with her. A role in the big leagues.

And that joke about Bobby being a hockey player and a figure skater??? And saying

"Who says you can't do both?" while a piece composed by Paganini - also famous for mastering both guitar and violin, plays.

The shot shows Buck AND Eddie, and Hen with Chimney looking and pointing at them in amazement.

Saying "We'll google for photos later!"

Maybe the implication of

"Who says you can't do both" being referred to isn't just

"Who says you can't do both women and men?"

.... but ALSO "Who says you can't write both of these characters to be bi?".

[seahorsepencils]

Hi! Would it be ok to ask whats going on with ppl being biphobic about kate stewart?/gen

I legitimately dont know whats going on? I feel like the pizza guy walking into the burning appt from community meme. Idk if i ever put much hc or thought behind kates relationships tbh, other than maybe she was aroacespec or choosing not to be in a relationship bec of how dangerous UNIT is...

I don't remember anything in the show implying she was sapphic or into Ibrahim (or like another person said in the tags that she had a kid with someone too)

I genuinely dont know wtf is going on or why who fans are fighting about this

Hi anon,

Of course! Thanks for asking. Here’s my attempt at an explanation:

In 2016, during a panel Q&A at Long Island Doctor Who, Jemma Redgrave said that when she first started doing the show, she headcanoned Kate as being married to a woman. At some point in her answer, she alludes to the fact that this may or may not be the case anymore, as she often learns new details about Kate’s life from the showrunners whenever she films another episode. (Jemma's answer starts at 44:54 here.)

Regardless, her initial headcanon has caught on, either as a bit of wishful thinking or as a detail that some perceive to be almost canon in the absence of contradictory evidence on the show or in other materials (i.e. the UNIT audios). In the series 18 episode “Death in Heaven,” Kate described herself as a “mother of two” and “divorcee,” and a popular interpretation of this is that Kate may have been married to a man, and divorced him after (or before) realizing she was a lesbian.

The “almost canon” perspective also holds a lot of weight among some fans of the show because of Jemma Redgrave’s long history of playing queer and queer-coded characters. Even her most ostensibly straight characters tend to offer some sort of challenge to compulsory heterosexuality or patriarchal norms (i.e. they turn to violence after spending years in loveless heterosexual marriages). This has made it very easy to headcanon pretty much any character she’s played as queer. I think some fans tend to also think that Jemma has more influence over her characters than she does - for example, after seeing episodes of DW in which Kate has worn plaid or flannel, fans have suggested that Jemma probably provided her own wardrobe for the show and purposely selected those items to give off gay vibes. (A very niche issue that has contributed to this is Jemma’s habit of repeatedly purchasing her characters’ wardrobe items at half price and then wearing them in real life - in the past, some fans incorrectly assumed that this meant Jemma was bringing her own clothing to set and asking the costume designers if Kate could wear it.) Effectively, many fans have hoped that Jemma’s earlier headcanon for Kate effectively manifested into canon over time, or potentially inspired the showrunners to agree that Kate is queer.

In terms of the Ibrahim stuff, the first piece was a lot of fans noticing that the hand-holding between Kate and Ibrahim in this week’s finale lasted a few seconds longer than one might expect a platonic hand-hold to last. Similarly, some have thought that the moment when she comes back to life and he pulls her up has a certain closeness or intimacy to it. From what I’ve seen, people are split on the topic - some people consider it to be a platonic “happy to be alive” moment, or a show of feelings from Ibrahim that Kate might not reciprocate; others have theorized that Ibrahim and Kate have a very close platonic relationship for some reason, etc.

Shortly after the finale aired, a version of the episode with a cast and crew audio commentary was released on the BBC’s website. In this commentary, while the two aforementioned scenes are playing, the producer, Vicki Delow, makes some comments suggesting she thinks that Kate and Ibrahim are, or should be, a couple. RTD responds to her comments in what sounds like a teasing tone. Here’s my transcript of those moments:

Helping Kate up scene (36:50) Vicki: “I love this. This is my favorite thing in the whole world." RTD: "What, these two?" Vicki: "These two. I just love them.” RTD: “What do you mean, Vicki?” Vicki: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” RTD: “What do you mean? You think they’re friends?” Vicki: “I think they’re more than friends.”

Hand-holding scene outside (37:43) Vicki: “Look, look, look. This is it. Look, look, look.” RTD: “What are you looking at, Vicki Delow?” Vicki: “I love them. I love them.” RTD: “I don’t know what you mean, Vicki. I don't know.” Vicki: “It’s the greatest romance.”

Some folks have interpreted this as Vicki Delow hinting that there’s going to be a future romance between the characters in series 2 - and that RTD is egging her on - i.e. the “I don’t know what you mean” is a wink nudge way of him refusing to directly confirm a future storyline. That’s definitely a possibility. I think it’s also possible that Vicki just really wants them to be a couple, and has gotten a reputation on the production team as a hopeful shipper who wants Kate and Ibrahim to wind up together. In that context, RTD’s teasing her might have a vibe more like “oh Vicki, here you go again, shipping Kate and Ibrahim.”

So basically, a number of fans who have taken Jemma’s past headcanon as canon-adjacent have interpreted Vicki Delow’s “it’s the greatest romance” comment as confirmation that Kate and Ibrahim will have a romantic storyline in the next series, and have posted on social media (mostly Twitter, but a bit on Tumblr) criticizing what they perceive to be the show taking an unexpected position on Kate’s sexual orientation.

The rest might be stuff you’ve already seen, but I’ll summarize just in case: Several of the posts on Twitter and Tumblr have used language that inflexibly imply a gay/straight binary - i.e. “how dare they make Kate straight, she’s a lesbian” - not allowing for the possibility that she’s a bisexual woman to enter into the equation at all. In my other post on this subject I referred to a pattern of bi erasure and biphobia in the Jemma Redgrave fandom. As someone who’s an active member of that fandom, it felt like a concrete instance of some things I’ve seen pretty regularly in the community - and although I’m not as familiar with the DW fandom more generally, it sounds like there may have been some similar past instances of bi erasure or microaggressions in that fandom.

While I’ve categorized the “how dare they make her straight” posts specifically as bi erasure (and I imagine one could make a case that they’re biphobic too), the clear instance of biphobia for me has been in the comments I’ve seen by viewers who said that they would rather pretend Kate died at the start of the episode than accept the presence of a scene where she held hands with a man. In my mind, even as a joke, that seems to imply “better dead than bi or straight.”

I don't know if I'm decided on what Vicki Delow meant, and the lingering in that hand-holding moment definitely did make me wonder. And as someone who loves Jemma's performances as queer characters and has read my share of Osgate fic, I think it would be awesome to see her character in a relationship with a woman. But at this point I feel like the conversation has been so saturated by others' moments of bi erasure that it's hard to even know how to get back into it.

So, yeah. You're not wrong - even for someone who knows a lot of the pieces, it's been a very confusing couple of days. 😅

[buddiebeginz]

calling bucktommy fans b*mmys just reminds me of the gay slurs used against gay men. There’s a better way to say that. Idk why y’all use that when people have said it sounds offensive. to me if someone says something is offensive that’s when you stop saying it. You don’t double down and say well actually it’s not. Because if it’s offensive to someone then you’re still being a twat even if it isn’t offensive to you.

First of all the word you're referring to is "bummer" not "Bummy" which would be a combination of Buck and Tommy's names. As many ship names are a combo of the first names like Buddie is Buck and Eddie.

Second a lot of words sound the same but are not in fact the same. Bummer and Bummy are two different words completely. They don't have the same origin and they don't hold the same meaning.

Also and more importantly a lot of British fans of 911 have responded to multiple posts about this topic (as the word you're referring to is old British slang) and stated that the word "bummer" is not used this way in the common lexicon and likely hasn't been for quite some time.

Furthermore many 911 fans from different parts of the world (including the UK) have also said they use the word bummer in a similar fashion to how we use it here in the United States:

So does this mean that no one else should ever use that word anymore? And if that's true then shouldn't you be trying to educate people more on why they shouldn't be using the actual word bummer vs people who are using a ship name (again not the same word) made up of two characters names?

I agree that it's important to listen to people when they tell you that something is offensive to them but here's the problem anon. A lot of you B/T shippers are not coming from a genuine place. You're not trying to educate anyone. You're not trying tell us about something (unrelated to shipping) that's upsetting you. You're just trying to control the 911 fandom as a whole. The main reason I know this is because this isn't only issue that's been levied against the Buddie fandom from you all.

Your fandom does this kind of stuff all the time. You try to shame people into behaving in a way you want them to. No halfway decent person wants to be called homophobic, biphobic, ableist, etc but these are all things I've watched your fandom use against anyone who doesn't agree with you.

The reality is you all don't like the ship name Bummy, which fine you don't have to like it. Although it was your fandom who came up with it in the first place, it's where I saw the name to begin with (on twitter). Trust and believe I have better things to do with my time than sit around thinking up ship names for Buck and the guy who he hasn't even called his boyfriend yet.

So your main issue isn't that Bummy sounds like bummer it's that you don't like the name. Plus Lou said he didn't like it (in a cameo) and it just generally sounds silly. Okay so you don't have to use it. You don't get to control how other people talk about your ship and whether or not they talk about it in a positive way.

You also don't get to throw baseless allegations of homophobia at us because a ship name you hate sounds similar to an old slang word. You especially don't get to throw allegations at us when it's been your fandom out there attacking anyone who dared to post anything for Buddie and Eddie during pride month. Your fandom attacking and literally doxxing a journalist for posting positive Buddie content. Your fandom that has repeatedly harassed the 911news account. Your fandom that left comments talking about how Ryan should end his life after he opened up about his s*icide attempt.

Buddie fandom isn't innocent. We've definitely said and done things we shouldn't have. Taken things too far sometimes and I'm sure been our own brand of awful at times too. But the 911 fandom as a whole has never been as bad as it's gotten since B/T became a thing. You all were literally called out by the showrunner ffs. Instead of repeatedly accusing Buddie shippers (many of who are lgbtq+) of homophobia maybe you should start looking around at who is a part of your own fandom and the messed up stuff they've been doing because it's not doing you any favors.

(Fyi if this shows up in other tags besides Buddie fandom that wasn't my intention. I usually do my best to keep my posts out of B/T spaces. I even usually use * to not spell the full names and ships but for the sake of clarity in this post I didn't.)

[musicalmoritz]

this gonna be a weird question but ever since i have know Aoinene. I have always found a consistent theme of Aoi being a lesbian. While it cool, interesting and all, it hard to found anything canonically to use to prove the interpretation beyond "it just a vibe" . It doesnt interfer with the shipping experience but it still an interesting HC that i would love to found some canon material to build on.

I’m so glad you asked this, I’ve been trying to find a way to talk about my feelings on the lesbian Aoi headcanon for a while now. I’ve written it in my own fics a lot but I have some issues with the way people treat it so I’d like to make this a more nuanced discussion

First off, where does it come from? To answer that question you have to keep in mind that as the manga chapters were being released, fans had no idea where AidaIro planned to go with Aoi and Akane’s relationship beyond what they could infer. While it seems obvious in hindsight that Aoi always liked Akane, a lot of lesbian readers overlooked those hints because they were able to relate to being pursued by a relentless man that they didn’t want. They found comfort in Aoi’s character because her perceived disinterest in Akane was something they could connect to their own experiences with their male best friends falling for them

Then we have this scene, which is a whole rollercoaster in and of itself. At this point in the manga, fans didn’t know Aoi was faking her personality. She only existed as Nene’s popular best friend, the girl with the rumors. And, of course, the girl who kept rejecting Akane. Aoi and Nene seemed to have a very close friendship, so when this scene came out, many readers jumped to the conclusion that Aoi planned to confess to Nene. This, coupled with her constant rejection of Akane, led many fans to believe Aoi was a lesbian. Not just as a cool headcanon, but as an actual theory. To this day some fans still call her queercoded, and that’s where I have a bit of an issue with the headcanon

Because, despite all of this, Aoi isn’t a lesbian in canon. She’s not even coded to be one. In fact her and Akane’s characters aren’t able to develop without each other. Some fans chalk this up to bad writing or lesbiphobia, stating that Aoi never showed interest in Akane up until chapter 69, but this simply isn’t true. There were numerous hints that Aoi liked Akane back, since his feelings for her were first introduced. She’s shown to be absolutely devastated at the possibility of him dating someone else, and in the Clock Keepers arc we see that she’s been encouraging his pursuit of her this whole time. Fans may not like them, but it’s impossible to deny they’ve been set up since the beginning of the manga- on both sides

However, if you were to call Aoi sapphic coded/bi coded in canon, you wouldn’t be far off. In the Hanako-Kun Of Magic au, Mei fell in love with Aoi through a spell. After the spell wore off, they were confirmed to still hang out. They hang out so frequently, that it makes Mei’s little sister jealous because Aoi is stealing all her attention

It wouldn’t be a reach to assume they’re dating in this au, which would make Aoi bi or bi-coded in canon (though it’s very up to interpretation so I wouldn’t say she’s as strongly bi-coded as Kou or even Nene). It rubs me the wrong way when people discuss her potential queercoding and entirely ignore her feelings for Akane just because they don’t like the ship, it feels biphobic. It’s also been implied that Aoi has liked men (or people in general) other than Akane, he joins school clubs based on whoever her current type is

Canon aside though, I’d like to talk about why people like the lesbian Aoi headcanon. Namely, why I still like it in fanon despite feeling that it has a very weak basis in canon. Because for some fans, Aoi’s true personality reveal only made their love of the lesbian Aoi headcanon stronger

Remember how I said fans overlooked Aoi’s feelings for Akane because they projected onto her? I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with that as long as they aren’t bringing their bias into analyses. I’ve read many Aoi queercoding analyses where the creator completely ignores Aoi’s attraction to men in canon due to their own projection, and I hate to say it but that is a bad way to analyze. I’ve mentioned before that I strongly relate to Nene’s shallow crushes on men because they remind me of my own experiences with comphet, but I would never call Nene lesbian coded because that would ignore her entire arc with Hanako. Project onto characters all you want but leave that out of your analyses

Anyways, the reveal that Aoi had been faking her personality only gave the lesbian Aoi headcanon more fuel. At this point in the manga, fans were already fully convinced that Aoi was a lesbian…so to find out the pretty popular girl was hiding her true self from the world?? I mean that sounds queercoded as hell. And I won’t lie, I relate to that a lot too. The need to hide who you really are is a nearly universal queer experience, so pretty much any character that has that storyline is going to hit home for a lot of queer readers. That same trope also plays into Mitsuba’s queercoding, so yeah. Despite all the romance stuff with Akane that happened in those chapters, the big takeaway for lesbian Aoi truthers was that Aoi had been hiding a part of herself that the world would shame her for

This is furthered by her relationship with femininity. Aoi plays the role of the ideal popular girl, a common archetype in media. These girls are feminine, passive, kind, humble, and all the boys love them. That is the image Aoi presents to the rest of the school. However, the real Aoi is nothing like that. I wouldn’t go as far as to call her masculine, but she doesn’t act like the poster child for femininity when she’s being her true self. She’s bitter, arrogant, spiteful, and she only really cares about two people. Lesbians tend to have a very complicated relationship with femininity, because heteronormativity asserts that the defining trait of being a woman is your relationship to a man. As a woman, you are someone’s wife, daughter, mother, sister. So when a woman has no interest in men, she loses a core part of her “femininity.” Some lesbians choose to embrace this, they have no interest in femininity so they perform whatever gender presentation they want. Other lesbians reclaim femininity as something defined by themselves, not society. So when lesbians see a character faking her personality to conform to the societal expectations for her gender…oops she’s one of us now lol. This is also why the transmasc Aoi headcanon is popular, though I won’t be getting into that today

There are more simplistic reasons people like the lesbian Aoi headcanon. It fits a trope, the popular girl who’s pressured to be perfect is secretly a lesbian. Then she falls for her fun and quirky bisexual best friend. Unfortunately this is where the headcanon gets very boiled down, people want Aoi to be something that she’s not in canon. They want her to be a trope rather than her own, unique character. The aesthetic girlboss lesbian. She hates Akane and has a huge crush on Nene, maybe some mommy issues and that’s all there is to her. I don’t like these type of headcanons very much, they reduce queerness to an aesthetic rather than an experience. As I mentioned, the lesbian Aoi headcanon does have potential for fanon content, but some fans sadly reduce it to a stereotype

I’ve written both bisexual and lesbian Aoi, and I think they both have their perks. Lesbian Aoi requires a bit of stretching/rewriting of canon, which can be fun but it has to be handled very carefully. Otherwise you get fics that villainize Akane and ignore Aoi and Nene’s complexities. It’s perfectly fine to project onto a character and headcanon them a certain way for comfort, but in terms of characterization I would recommend people try to look past those biases when they’re writing analyses. Fanfic is a bit different bcuz that depends on whether or not you’re trying to stay in character lol, this might be controversial but some writers just don’t care and that’s fine too. They’re just writing it for fun, it doesn’t have to be that serious. Still, I would like to see more fics that keep Aoi and Nene closer to canon (they absolutely exist dw)

The reason I hesitated for so long to address this headcanon is because I wanted to find a way to talk about it sensitively. Queer fans, especially lesbians, already get a lot of flack for their headcanons and I didn’t want to make it seem like I was invalidating anyone’s experiences. If the lesbian Aoi headcanon brings you comfort then, yes, Aoi can absolutely be a lesbian. Fandom is about fan enjoyment, not authorial intent, so headcanon the characters however you want. Just don’t push those headcanons into others, and try to at least be aware of what’s going on in canon. And again, don’t write an analysis if you’re going to be biased. A better way to do it would be something like “I recognize that AidaIro didn’t go this route but it would’ve been interesting if they made Aoi a lesbian.” An analysis like that might have some weight to it!! Aoi and Akane are a super cute ship, but another straight relationship is nothing revolutionary in fiction. However, canon lesbians in a shonen series?? That’s something you don’t see every day. People have valid reasons for wishing Aoi had been written differently, I just wish they would accept that she didn’t get written that way rather than ignoring canon

Sorry if this isn’t what you were expecting, I hope I explained all sides of the headcanon well enough. Tbh a lot of it is just “vibes” but once you look past the surface, it goes a lot deeper. I also want to clarify that Aoi faking her personality reading as queercoding could absolutely work with her being bi too, bisexuals also have to hide a part of themselves and that’s something other lgbtq+ individuals often overlook. The reason it reads specifically as lesbian coding to some fans is because of her projection of femininity being fake so, by extension, her encouragement of the men who pursue her must be too. That’s obviously not canon but some fans believe it would’ve been a cool route to go. Okay that’s it I think I covered everything lol

Thanks again for the ask, I’m glad I finally got the opportunity to talk abt this <3

[olderthannetfic]

So for the F/F we've covered the toxic standards for WLW. We've covered how badly characters are done. We've covered badly written F/F by certain people. Some time ago there was also the talk about blatant Biphobia in F/F writing.

Can I add on another thing I noticed, just Imo thing. F/F often feels like you're just supposed to accept it. Even if there is chemistry, it some times has absolutely no relationship curve. It's as if the sheer fact that it's F/F should be enough, and you don't need a real journey to build on that chemistry, the two girls will just slot together into a perfect relationship. Oh and any issue for the relationship isn't between the two, it's often completely focused on an outside source, but not the actual girls in the relationship.

I think the better WLW romances I have seen have actually had a relationship curve, and you see them getting together organically and build on that relationship. Which is kind of a low bar not gonna lie. The worst is always the one that's like "We're both WLW, so now we're a couple." kind of straight forward writing. As if the biggest hurdle in F/F is just figuring out that both women are WLW, and from then on it's smooth sailing. And I mean it the way I said it, some F/F is literally just "I'm attracted to her, but oh no am I really attracted to da wahmens??" and once the answer is a resounding YES, that's about it. Unless of course you have a biphobic storyline where the Bi girl has to repent for being Bi aka attracted to men, after that everything is fine.

--

I've noticed this too. My sense is that it's not a specific f/f thing but a small pool of works thing.

Romance novels and strong romance b-plots in adventure novels and that kind of thing routinely suffer from this same problem, regardless of gender. It's the most common failure state.

If there were a lot more f/f, there would be a lot more individual examples of it done well that people could look to. It's the % vs. absolute number thing.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Rueleigh's Thoughts about Eddie being bisexual and/or pansexual again. It's under the cut. Ignore it if you want to, mostly me venting again.

I love the fact that Joseph Quinn just decided to have Eddie flirt with both Steve and Chrissy. He must have thought, "Ooh, what if Eddie was bisexual?" Now, I haven't seen any interviews where he says his character was flirting with Steve, but "big boy" is a dead give away, he's also said with Grace that Eddie and Chrissy would have hooked up. While his sexuality hasn't been stated in canon, it's more canon that he's bisexual. I think that's just a fact that people are just going to have to accept. Eddie Munson is so bisexual coded, and we need more bisexual men in media. I love how Heartstopper is actually open about that and has even corrected people on the show. And we spent 15 years with Supernatural, implying that Dean is bisexual but not actually saying it. It would be nice if they slipped that in next season, but considering they won't even get Robin to say lesbian, I doubt it will happen with Stranger Things. The other show that I watched that has a bisexual woman is Grey's Anatomy, who put her with a lesbian who made biphobic comments whenever they had an argument. I hated it. Even in this fandom, in this Steddie tag, on this site, we still have people who are so clearly biphobic. While it's not all people who headcanon Eddie as gay, it's quite a few who act like Eddie being bisexual is like choking down terrible food. Eddie being gay is a nice headcanon, but it's just a headcanon, and there's zero evidence that he's gay and more so that he's bi and/or pan. Eddie being gay is equally queer as him being bisexual and/or pansexual. Maybe I'm just frustrated by the lack of bisexuality in media and the rampant biphobia and panphobia that are on a site that's supposed to be so inclusive, but it's as exclusive as fuck. I just think there should be equal amounts of gay, bisexual, pansexual Eddie fics. Once in a blue moon, I'll see a bisexual Eddie fic, and I can't remember when I saw a pansexual Eddie fic. I would love to see more where he's also, bi and pan, which you can be at the same time. As I am bi and bi. I'm just curious why a lot of people don't like the idea of Eddie being into women.

[blackwoolncrown]

Many people have made an identity out of moral superiority manufactured from the fact that they are not heterosexual.

The problem is that attraction isn't a choice, and you're not actually better or special due to who you're attracted to, though you are marginalized if you're not heterosexual.

The problem becomes a legitimate issue when people who are genuinely also attracted to the gender society would consider 'opposite' their given gender feel like that makes them 'less queer' and 'more straight' even when they experience same-gender attraction and thus do everything they can to avoid adopting a label that includes this aspect of their identity so they can seem more 'legitimate' within an LGBT framework...

...which is only relevant since bisexuals have long been de-legitimized as 'pseudo straights' for so long.

So then you have ppl saying weirdo shit like "I'm a gay man but I'm really attracted to butch lesbians" and bi-lesbian discourse. Like how are y'all in the closet and out of the closet at the same time?

It just goes to show how much of showing up in the LGBT community is still about performing to a hierarchy and many people don't want to lose their place on it.

And tbh I just find the scene so unappealing bc of this. Bc the same spaces that pull this dumb biphobic bs got gay dudes that specifically pursue 'str8' men and studs who will date 'straight' cis women but won't date bi girls bc 'we can't be trusted'!!

I'm not interested in y'all. Like save me the speeches y'all can't even be honest about who you are.

[hexelein]

Little rant about biphobia in fandoms and the possibility of Eddie being bi below. You think Eddie is gay ? Perfectly fine but don't start arguing with me in the notes about it, especially if you haven't actually read what I said here.

Look I have nothing against gay Eddie but I think it's super weird how people insist he has to be gay. He's not even confirmed queer yet, and people already come at bi blogs for hc him as bi... Unless he is confirmed gay in the show or by the writers outside of it can you just leave bi people alone ? It's always like this when gay hc get popular in fandoms, and I'd like to remind all of you that bi people can have complex relationships with the opposite gender, and that up until now Eddies issues with relationships were all related to Shannon and the trauma he's had from how their relationship ended, and him wanting so badly to recreate what they had before their problems started. That's pretty much canon as of now and everything else is your personal interpretation. If he had relationships with other men he'd probably have the same issues. Hell even if he ends up with Buck he'd struggle a bit at first if these issues don't get resolved beforehand. I genuinely do get why people hc him as gay, but I also think it's extremely biphobic to say he can't be bi at all and that reducing and resolving the problems he has as just related to his sexuality wouldn't fit how his story was written before and would simplify it too much. Even if he was gay that point would still stand but a lot of you don't seem to treat it this way.

What bothers me most about this is the reactions of the fandom, and also the fact we already had a gay and married to a woman storyline with Micheal. And besides Buck pretty much everyone that is queer on the show is monosexual. Like all of that is once again a reminder how bisexuality is often treated in shows and fandoms: the last resort kind of queerness and less queer than monosexuality. Better not have too many bi people on a show, too complicated for people to understand how not every bi experience is the same. People have such a problem with the concept of bisexuality, the reactions to bi Buck also show that: we've had queer characters on the show, but when Buck came out a lot of people said they'd stop watching. This was specifically biphobia, not just homophobia. Buck also fits the bisexual stereotype so well, he's a womanizer, he's been very promiscuous in the past. He hasn't actually talked about his label either or specifically called himself bi in the show yet. People had hc him as bi right away, but with Eddie who has never shown any interest is other men it's he's gay cause he has problems with commitment and forming lasting relationships. It's just very disheartening to see even other queer people follow this weird pattern of who can be bi and who can't, mostly based on stereotypes and who was more promiscuous (this is also often the case in other fandoms ). Despite Eddies romantic relationships not working out we see him being intimate with woman, having interest in them and never any direct indication that it's genuinely his sexuality that is the problem here. Again I can see why people hc Eddie as gay as well, but to say he can't be bi is just denying that bisexuality can be complicated too. I've also seen a lot of people hc him as demi, which is also fitting but often enough it was demi and gay. Why can't he be demi and bi ? We've had so many stories about comphet and heteronormativity preventing gay and lesbian people from being true to themselves, and I'm not saying we shouldn't have those stories anymore, but I think fandoms tend to go with monosexuality by default instead of thinking about how bisexual people can also deal with similar issues in relationships, or that not all of our relationships have to be good to count. It's also just very annoying that stuff like that always ends with peoples reasoning for their hc going into biphobic territory... All I ask is until we have a confirmed sexuality for him, if we even get one, stop being so nasty about bi people seeing themselves in Eddie and stop treating your hc as canon. I swear this pattern is so common in fandoms... Maybe you should examine why you feel so threatened by the possibility of more than one bi character in a show that is or would be in a same gender relationship.

Obviously if he ends up actually being confirmed gay I won't argue with that. I guess what I'm saying is that the biphobic views some of you have and the way bisexuality is treated in general everywhere annoys me more than the possibility of Eddie being gay. And no being bi yourself doesn't mean you can't have weird views about bisexuality btw... Bi storylines always have the same mold and that's cause people aren't willing to listen to bi people and their different experiences. I also can't remember lots of shows that have confirmed bi4bi couples, especially not mlm ones. The ones we have people love to erase all the time. His story could fit someone who is bi and demiromantic/arospec very well (though I don't think they'd actually go anywhere in canon that isn't monosexual or bisexual) and we don't have much bi rep in the show, I'm just kinda hurt that this seems hardly an option for anyone....

I just think having Eddie be bi and his issues not being a result of his sexuality would be a break in how bi characters are usually portrayed and also make people realize that maybe there is a lot underlying biphobia in the community and fandoms.

[mazzystar24]

I’m respectfully about to lose my mind at some of the fandom rn with the way buddie shippers are being treated… It’s like no one understands the whole point of shipping a couple is to want them to be together, so duh if something happens that could potentially lead to that pairing they’re going to get excited and theorize? Yes it’s absolutely important for Buck to explore his sexuality outside of buddie but the way people are trying to say that buddie shippers are homophobic for wanting endgame buddie….. when buddie is literally a queer ship? it doesn’t make any sense to me as a queer person myself because it’s like- y’all do realize that buck dating eddie would in fact mean that he is still bisexual, and that people have wanted thst for years, so A) why are we shocked and appalled at buddie shippers for being happy that they are one step closer to endgame buddie, B) why are we calling people homophobic or biphobic when they are quite literally shipping two men together, C) why are we all acting as if buddie endgame hasn’t been simmering just under the surface for YEARS and that if they were going to give us buddie, then thag means buck and eddie would both have to come oit as queer…

I’ve seen so many prominent blogs in the community who have made posts like “buck’s bisexuality has nothing to do with buddie and you are a horrible human for even insinuating that” and so many people are agreeing??? And not to mention the fact that now these same people are trying to villainize and trash on Eddie when in all honesty Buck’s behavior in 7x04 was NOT okay- physically harming someone because they’re not giving you attention is never okay (and i’m saying this as someone whi ADORES Buck, he still needs to be held accountable.)

It just reads very icky to me that so many people are screaming “bi pride” but then spewing all of this vitriol over a ship that would fit within Buck’s bisexuality…

It worries me that the writers are going to see this negativity from people and they’re going to just completely back-burner Eddie’s character in favor of Buck and it disappoints me because even outside of buddie, a major tv show portraying a repressed gay poc with religious and family trauma would be EQUALLY as powerful as Bi Buck is……

but i guess that’s just people only caring about the queer storylines when it’s about a white man since these are also the people acting like Hen and Karen or Michael and David haven’t been there the whole time

but that’s just me i guess….

I’m bullet pointing not to be curt by the way just because I prefer addressing part by part🫶

1. Agreed like this fandom was relatively peaceful then BAM it fully shifted overnight like in the words of Taylor swift THIS IS WHY WE CANT HAVE NICE THINGS

2. Yesss exactly like I’m very much a dont yuck someone else’s yum type of person so like even ships I don’t like I’ll be like okay respect 🫡 enjoy your fandom space love that for you AS LONG AS THEYRE RESPECTFUL TOO and I’m not gonna lie to you I see the primary source of negativity and stuff in the fandom be people who legit never watched anything other than the bucktommy related content (which I kinda have a whole other rant about but I don’t wanna give you miles and miles to read in one ask)

3. Yes to that 100% - buddie is a queer ship the cognitive dissonance it takes to call someone homophobic for shipping them is honestly fascinating atp, Buck is bi canonically now and y’all do realise that who he’s with or if he’s single even doesn’t take away from that right??? Like the rep is THERE and will always be THERE

4. You worded it a bit weird but I got what you meant (I hope) so anyone who didn’t may require a little clarification, the sentiment of bucks bisexuality being separate from buddie I think is 1000% correct and I agree wholeheartedly that a persons sexuality and their journey shouldn’t be just about their love interests but about themselves as a person, the issue people are taking is that 1. The people saying this are saying it on every buddie post even when the same blogs posting it have 177283 posts talking about buck as an individual and as a bisexual man outside of buddie and bucktommy, so it’s sort of become a weaponised statement if that makes sense 2. The buddie shippers are the ones who have been advocating so hard for the show to give us canon bi buck like that’s just fact no one can deny so to the og fans who’ve been here for YEARS (I’ve only started like 2023 ish so I’m not counting myself there) this must be such a total slap in the face to be receiving so much hate now

5. Oh yeah the Eddie bashers can personally come fight me

6. If I’m 100% honest I choose to interpret the basketball injury as being mostly accidental like I think he got too into it and forgot himself and his own force for a second rather than intentionally hurt Eddie, like it so happens in sports, I think it’s like just the after guilt that made him question himself and his motives, idk that may just be me denying canon because it just felt too out of character for me to believe

7. I think the fake bi pride stuff also irks me BAD like some of these people are looking for very surface level superficial representation and if you don’t push for more and more substantial and meaningful representation then you’re gonna get constant variations of the same exact thing and these are also the same people ignoring every other queer character in 911 which is just🙃

8. Idk how much the writers take fandom into account but I constantly say like if they were to listen to fandom they’d go the route they know people wanted for years

9. YES about Eddie’s character like I made a whole post about gay and comphet Eddie and how meaningful it would be because it’s just so so unique and unprecedented

10.HAHSKDK THE CROSSED OUT PART IS WHAT I JUST SAID BUT I DIDNT READ IT GAJSKDKFM

[will80sbyers]

I am pretty sure if Mike is revealed as Bi, the majority of the byler fandom will dislike it. Which ofc will be funny considering we will have to defend bi Mike against both milevns, the homophobic part of the GA and other bylers all at once.

I really hope you're wrong and it won't be the majority of the fandom but just a minority that will go away eventually!

And even if they are upset about it that will not change the canon of the show, so I'll be happy and shipping byler in peace blocking their sad biphobic assess

I'll be also very busy celebrating the fact that Mike found himself and is living his life being fully himself and being loved by Will as much as he loves Will.

Will is clearly going to be supportive of Mike's bisexuality and would fight these people himself and I'll do the same fighting for Mike if I need to 😎

[autistichalsin]

(Plastering an obligatory I AM A LESBIAN here.) (also, in retrospect this feels like soapboxing and if you feel uncomfortable in any way with me ranting about petty drama related to the harassment that you went through feel free to delete this ask)

Calling you lesbiphobic for not liking Minthara made me do a huge double take??

YES lesbiphobia is a problem, and people assigning lesbiphobia to not liking a character on the grounds that a lot of their friends who like her are lesbians only takes away from the actual severity of the word.

You can’t just wave words around. Is Minthara, as a character, a symbolization or statement about lesbianism in a way that critique or dislike of her character would imply some kind of inextricable problem with it?

Or has the way she’s seen or adopted in the fandom lead to her being inseparable from such subtext? And I don’t mean being liked by many lesbians simply because we think she’s neat or a cool character-

Is she known to be liked because we feel she represents something significant about lesbianism? Does the fact that many lesbians like her mean or present something notable about the lesbian experience, to the point where it’s a dialogue that can’t in good faith be ignored in discussions about her?

No. She’s openly sapphic, but she’s one of the many bisexual women companions, and while her queerness is an important facet of her character, the writing doesn’t linger on it- That is to say, it’s not a central theme to her character and story. She’s not seen as some grand statement or character symbolizing something about lesbianism in the fandom, either. A lot of us simply.. like her. (And that’s completely fine!!)

On top of that, she’s explicitly (EXPLICITLY) a EVIL character to boot. She’s a horrible person- she was THE evil route companion. (And, again, her evilness has nothing to do with her being a sapphic woman.) And that’s great! I like her because she’s an apologetically horrible woman who’s allowed to be unapologetically horrible And a woman without being punished specifically for that.

But somebody disliking her- as a character- as a fictional, made of pixels, not real character- BECAUSE of the numerous horrible evil things she does- isn’t lesbiphobia. And even if it was, that wouldn’t be grounds the harass them for it.

Thank you anon- and don't worry. I'm going to start taking things as discourse so those who don't want to see anymore don't have to because I feel like I've put enough sadness on their pages, but I definitely wanted to respond to this.

(The irony here is that I ALSO am a [nonbinary] lesbian, but they've made really gross implications that because of my thirsty posts about Halsin, I'm just lying...)

Yeah, it really is wild that not liking HER of all characters got me called that. But I guess, like... thanks for being so transparent, I guess??? Like it literally was never about any issue they pretended it was, it was literally that I didn't like their Drow Dommy Mommy.

Your point is totally correct, but I do have the feeling that if you asked them, they WOULD say that Minthara represents something "inherently lesbian" (I guess the lesbian quality of... being a terrible person who supports slavery? It's lesbiphobic to not support slavery I guess) such that rejecting her is rejecting lesbianism itself. And it's worth noting that this group of people are INCREDIBLY biphobic- they hate when you say Minthara is bi, as well as Shadowheart, and they say shipping SH with men is "icky." Which tells you all you need to know really.

They deny she's evil. Straight up. They literally ask what she did that was evil, feigning ignorance, or say it was sweet and romantic etc. The way they accuse others of not being able to tell fantasy from reality is because they themselves can't do it.

[nuttysaladpaper]

My Redemption

DISCLAIMER: I do not think Sammy Sundog is a bad person in any way Shape or Form. I just want to compare things they said in chat to what I said in chat and see if we can all find an understanding. This is not me canceling them. I just want them to see that this isn't fair, I want to redeem myself and prove my worth!

I was banned from Sammy Sundog's community in April of 2023, but I feel like I was wrongly banned, people in Sam's chat have said FAR worse things than I have said, including the borderline bigoted things they have said.

In May of 2023, I had a Meltdown due to the heartbreak from the ban, the pain of my dog passing away, and stress from work caused an involuntary response to these overwhelming sensory and emotional stimuli from everything that was going on (That meltdown caused me to blackout, threaten suicide and go on a huge rampage which is a very intense meltdown, and meltdowns are common in autistic people, even adults.)

The reason Sam banned me was that I was Inappropriate in Chat, and made everyone uncomfortable, (But months after I was banned they revealed it was only because I talked about my job too much) I also cannot read social cues (which is another autistic trait) Someone in Sams chat told me (in DM's) to "learn to read social cues" which is an extremely ableist thing to say. You can't just make symptoms disappear, and you can't just "learn to read social cues" that is not how it works.

Child Abuse:

They make jokes about toddler sims sleeping outside, playing with feces, sleeping on dog beds, eating dog food (and have made/let the toddlers do this.) This is abusive behavior, but then claim "Oh it's just a game, it's a JOKE, it's a queer game from 2004" and no one finds this problematic, yet find Realistic Birth Mod for The Sims 4 to be weird, or think the incest mod for the sims 2 is "gross" and harmful to people... what happened to it being "just a game?" If having incest in the game is gross then having child abuse in the game should be gross too right? Where do we draw the line?

Racism:

Recently someone in chat said something Racist, but it didn't cause an uproar in chat, and Sam didn't ban them on the spot (which would be an appropriate response to blatant racism) Here is the message:

Misogyny:

Not to mention the borderline misogyny from Sam and the community, I explained that another cause for my behavior is hormonal imbalance, and someone said "They get periods too but they don't freak out on people" Thinking all periods are the same is something men do, and is extremely Misogynistic and gaslighting behavior, not to mention the fact that they won't let me explain myself or have my own opinions (also misogynistic behavior)

Homo/Bi/Transphobia:

There are people in Sams community who think I'm not Bi because I am Anti-LGBT (I am not Anti-LGBT) I sent hateful messages because I was mad at Sam, and I'm insecure about myself, I was in emotional pain, and I lashed out, I know It wasn't right, but to say I'm not Bi-sexual is gaslighting and very Biphobic. Not to mention the things Sam said on their Deviantart:

Sam says that They/Them pronouns are "Tumblrina pronouns" that Bisexual and Pansexual are the same thing, and that there are 2 genders and 3 sexualities.

Not to mention a slur that someone said in chat that Sam allowed:

Ableism:

Sam has made fun my of mental disorders and disabilities for almost as long as I have been banned. Here is a list of Ableist things said and done by Sam and the community:

Compared my autism to theirs. After my meltdown, Sam came to yell at me and say "I'm on the spectrum as well but I'm not threatening violence, get some help and move on" (I did not threaten violence or anyone's life, I was depressed, and wanted to kill myself because I couldn't handle the heartbreak.

Sam claims I'm using my autism as an excuse to be a jerk. I'm not being a jerk, I have meltdowns, and I struggle to read social cues, which is common in autistic people.

Sam called me inappropriate, Clare (Daydreamer) Called me Cringe, and Crystul-Beth laughed at me for having depression and suicidal thoughts and made fun of me for crying as a result of severe depression, and would tell me to "get a hobby" even though I'm severely depressed (which was worsened by the ban) and I can't even enjoy the stuff I used to do.

They think Happy Hands, Hyperfixations on the Sims, and Brainrot behavior are the only symptoms of Autism, which is very stigmatizing.

Jules told me that banning me for having severe symptoms and refusing to seek help is not ableist. I am not refusing to seek help, I literally do not have the resources to GET help! Therapy costs a lot of money here in the U.S.

Someone in Sam's Chat told me that "I should learn to read social cues" That is not how it works, we can't just make our symptoms go away, and "Not being able to read social cues" is a VERY common symptom of Autism. Telling an autistic person to read social cues is extremely ableist behavior.

They made fun of Blind people (my dad is blind and I found the jokes very disturbing) Here are the screenshots:

8. Sam laughed at Machinima when someone mentioned they almost committed suicide and claimed that Suicidal people are manipulative, the kid was heartbroken, The body responds to heartbreak the way it responds to physical pain, it's not something to joke about, and to say people who commit suicide after a heartbreak are manipulative is disgusting!

9. They also make fun of Cindy (Pleasant Sims) for having BPD (which is one of the most painful and most difficult mental disorders to deal with.) Cindy lost her baby in the late summer of 2022 and has also been struggling with her mental health and PCOS. Sam claims she is using her breakdowns for content even though she is going through a lot and tries to cope in her own ways. (It's good that Cindy's husband got away from all that but still, it's hard to deal with Mental disorders, they don't just "Go Away")

10. Someone in the community also said I'm "Dangerous and Vile" even though I'm suicidal and I have meltdowns and psychotic episodes, I don't mean for them to happen, they just happen.

11. Sam also says that I'm causing trouble for attention, that is not true! I am going through a hard time, and I also have a hard time letting things go, I only wanted to fix what I have done, but Sam has been hateful towards ME, I never hated Sam for a second! I didn't mean for things to get this far, I just want to return to the community!

Samantha if you're reading this, I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused, but this is ridiculous! You guys have said terrible things in chat as well, you also stalked and harassed me by taking screenshots of my social media posts and taking them out of context, I only took screenshots of your messages to call you out on your hypocrisy and your own bigotry! I know I did wrong, and I tried to listen to what you guys said about me, I tried to educate myself and change my hateful ways, but you still think I'm a bad person! I tried doing better but you won't let me redeem myself, so I come onto social media to call you out! I only wanted to work things out, YOU ARE 30 YEARS OLD! Let's work this out like adults! PLEASE!

All I did in chat was talk about my job, that's it.

@sammysundog @herobrilne @bethisims @motherpsyduck @julescant @nonsensical-pixels @diwasims @gaypleasantview @annachibisims @annachibi @gnomethievery @cursyve @tobigrimsbabyfaces

DISCLAIMER: I am not trying to cause trouble, I just want to tell you guys that I'm not the bad person you think I am, and I want this to end! I'm sorry I made you all uncomfortable, but please don't hate me. I love and miss you guys. I wish I did better. I think you guys are good people, despite all of this that I mentioned in the post. Let's not fight or hold grudges anymore.

[ugly-anarchist]

lesbian literally means non-man attracted to non-men in what world is bi lesbian a valid identity

In this world it's a valid identity! Mostly because "non-man attracted to non-men" isn't the definition of lesbian and is both exclusionary and, weirdly, still inclusive to bisexuals!

Bisexual means you're attracted to two or more genders. There's a lot of genders out there that aren't "man" or male/masculine aligned. By your definition of lesbian you can, in fact, be a non-man who is attracted to multiple non-man gender identities. Which would make someone, ya know, an mspec lesbian.

However, let's say that someone is bigender. This hypothetical person is both a man and a woman and they are exclusively attracted to women. This is, by definition, a woman exclusively attracted to other women. But because they're also a man, they would be excluded from your definition of lesbian.

Also, you are defining lesbianism based solely on the exclusion of men which is, and I can't stress this enough, fucked up and weird. Like, I don't know how to explain it, focusing lesbianism on men instead of attraction to women is kind of weird.

It also implies that non-binary is woman-lite. Like if you're an agender person who is exclusively attracted to other agender people then by your definition that would be lesbianism. Assuming of course the hypothetical agender person is afab and presents femininely. Because, let's be real here, if an amab agender person who presents masculine identified as a lesbian then there would be no question about what you thought about that. That person would immediately be called a male invader and told they weren't welcome.

Lesbian has always meant "gay attraction towards women". There are people alive today that I have personally spoken to who confirm this. My mother is 50, she identified as a lesbian when she was in her early twenties and she has told me stories about what it was like being a queer woman back then. She told me stories about how the community was full of political lesbians (straight women who identified as lesbians as a political statement) who shunned bisexual women and excluded them from the community. That's right, anti-bi lesbianism was started by straight women who identified as lesbians as a fucking political statement. And guess what? These women were also very transphobic and even homophobic towards gay men.

Redefining the word lesbian specifically so you can exclude bisexual women from lesbian spaces is, in fact, biphobic as hell! Bisexual lesbians aren't invaders, predatory, or anything! If you are uncomfortable sharing a space with bisexual lesbians then that's not anyone's problem but your own. There is no danger whatsoever with bisexual people sharing a space with lesbians nor is there an issue with bisexual people identifying as lesbians! Every single argument I've seen as to why it was "dangerous" for bisexual lesbians to exist is complete and utter bullshit and steeped in biphobia with a sprinkling of transphobic dogwhistles!

You are not on the side of good here! You are on the same side as straight women who hate men so much they CHOSE to become lesbians! You are on the side of a community that has solely defined their identities on not liking men which leads to exclusionary behavior towards bisexuals and trans women!

This isn't the hill you want to die on!

[the-owl-house-takes]

i came across your account and i notice the takes about the ship, but as a bi latine myself, shipping luz and hunter is NOT problematic at all. them being siblings is not canon and pittwins is just a popular headcanon and it does not mean you have to force that headcanon to everyone. i know what luz meant during that scene bc it’s so common in latine culture to call someone family that isn’t related. a lot of black and latine fans spoke up about this and majority of you just silence us and also keep in mind, the show is literally about found family!!!! you know which sibling is canon?? luz and king bc king literally called luz his sister on screen (king’s tide) and see her both as a friend and a sibling, but i don’t see many of you talk about that (and it’s ridiculous that titanlights (duo name for luz and king) is not even much talked about when they both are the main characters and have actual sibling dynamic). “ppl try to make luz and hunter straight” “shipping a bi girl character with a guy makes it alot harder to confirm them as bi” that is so biphobic to say and i saw your other comment that you aren’t bisexual so what do you know what makes it harder for us? you know what makes it harder to be bi? erasing our sexuality and always have to prove our identity by dating the same gender. we deal with internalized biphobia to prove our sexuality when sexuality is about attraction and not your dating history. we don’t have to date the same gender to prove to be bi. ppl are just erasing luz and hunter bisexuality (even eda) and that does not surprised me by how biphobic the fandom is, a lot of you don’t acknowledge bisexuality at all. also, it would not be “sapphic erasure” when luz herself is sapphic bc she’s bisexual, we are still sapphic when dating men or other genders. you’re the one doing that sapphic erasure by erasing and not acknowledging luz bisexuality. luz was also liking guys in the show, she was blushing on edric and even flirting with nevareth, are you going to say that’s “sapphic erasure” too?? 😭 i really need ppl who are not bi, black and latine to not silence us and speak over us, bc it’s tiring by how many times we have to say about this. bisexuality isn’t to be used as an aesthetic or something, it’s a label. im not even a lunter/huntceda shipper, im a big lumity shipper but as a bisexual latine, im so tired with the biphobia. lumity is canon in the show, huntceda or any other ship is not going to take that away. ppl have no problem with shipping luz with other girls (ex: willow) but when it’s with guys, it’s a problem. in fact, it makes me feel valid to see ppl acknowledge bisexuality and shipping her with other genders (that is not problematic ship of course). it’s also an experience of mine i had as a child when i ship characters with other genders and helped me discover my sexuality and feel comfort and valid.

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