#while will chooses death over being with louisa

[mzannthropy]

Kindred spirits appear when you least expect them (geddit?).

Normally it wouldn't be a massive deal hating something popular, bc inevitably, everyone's gonna hate something popular at some point in their lives. But what do you do when you hate Me Before You and LOVE Sam Claflin, what do you do then? What do you do, when you see an article about him and get that dreaded feeling in your stomach as you click to open it, bc you know that film will be mentioned? (I want to hug every journalist who doesn't bring it up. Nicely done work, Men's Health.) What do you do when you see all the comments from people who love that film saying how much they cried? (Why? WHY???? What is there to cry about? How easily impressed people are by a cheap tearjerker?) What do you do when that film is sold as the best thing in romance, a True Love (how?), a "doomed love story" (how????? Romeo and Juliet is a doomed love story, not this trash). What do you do when you know there are much, much better, more quality films with Sam to watch, with better developed female characters AND love interests--but everyone ignores them? What do you do?

Will: You're the only thing that makes me wake up in the morning.

Also Will: kills himself.

How truly inspirational! /s

[anonymooseforever007]

Thinking of You, I live

(Tommy Shelby X daughter Reader)

Summary: It's with the memory of you in my mind that gives me strength to live each day. And live I shall with Joy and Fear, with Laughter and Tears, with Friends and Foes and who else knows? I'll live for the life I'll have remembering the one you never got....In which we get a small glimpse of Y/N's life as it is now.

A/N: No trigger warnings, maybe mentions of death but nothing descriptive and general anxieties that come with being in school. This is just a fun chapter that introduces a few more of Y/N's friends and some of the stuff they like to do. 😂 Enjoy!❤️

WC- 6.6k

Series Masterlist Main Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leeds, April 1927

The door closed with a thud behind Y/N after she entered her apartment. She could hear Nelly in the kitchen, likely attempting to make another cake that would result in a soupy mess or another visit from the fire department. She'd officially moved in last month when the pipes in her apartment got too cold and burst. Instead of making her search for a new place, Y/N just told her to live the the extra bedroom in Y/N's own apartment. Her dad was alright with it, and it wasn't like Nelly didn't spend every other night there anyways. It was an easy decision that made both parties happy. Most days...

Today however, as much as she loved the raven haired girl, Y/N didn't actually want to deal with that at the moment, instead choosing to kick off her shoes and drop her bag next to the small couch as she fell into its floral cushions. Burying her face into the seat she closed her eyes and tried to forget the mess that just occurred. She knew trying to get a degree based in science and math would require a lot of both subjects. But she still hadn't expected just how much she'd have to suffer through. 

"Hey! How'd the test go?"

Nelly, completely unaware of her friend's current distress had inadvertently asked the last question she should have. With an almost pained groan, Y/N moved to lean against the back of the sofa where she could see Nelly. She didn't say anything, just stared with her lips drawn together in a thin line.

"Oooh. I see.... well did you lose your streak?"

This did make Y/N crack a small smile as she understood what was being referenced. A few months ago, Y/N and her friends had established a cry count board. It stared when Betty and Ruthie said they didn't think they'd gone a day in the last two weeks without crying. Y/N had joked that maybe they should keep a tally board just to see if that was true. And thus the "Cry Board" was born. Every day the girls went without crying they'd increase their number. If they cried it would go back to zero. Y/N herself had the longest streak, followed by Eliza, then usually Nelly or Louisa, and finally Betty and Ruthie usually tied in last. There really was no point to the board, but it was still a "fun" game they did for...well again they weren't sure why it was still up, but it was.

"No, I still get to keep my streak. I didn't cry. I only teared up once and that doesn't count," Y/N mumbled, her head once again between the couch cushions.

"Well that's not too bad then. I lost my streak this morning...apparently kicking a wall is more painful than I expected."

Y/N's head shot you over the back of the couch again as she struggled to contain her laugh. Only Nelly would kick a wall expecting it not to hurt.

"Is the wall ok?"

"Oi!"

Y/N laughed as she ducked away from the small bag Nelly had thrown towards her head. Nelly sighed in defeat and headed back to the kitchen, only this time Y/N did decide to follow behind. After all, the last time raven haired girl was left unsupervised, it ended up with all the apartment tenants standing by the side of the building at four in the morning while the firemen secured the perimeter. Y/N didn't even know it was possible to set water on fire until that day. 

"Watcha making?... Or should I say who are you trying to see? Don't think I didn't hear you flirting with the hot fireman last week. Are you trying to invite him over again without.....aaaah!"

Y/N rubbed the end of her nose where Nelly had successfully launched a small ball of cake batter, hitting her mark with a splat.

"Shhh!"

"Alright, alright, alright," Y/N waved on hand in surrender while with the other stuck her finger in her mouth tasting the batter, "This is pretty good though. I like it."

Nelly put her hand over her heart, her voice dripping with playful sarcasm, "Aweee you do love me! And here I was thinking you were going to stab me with a knife one of these days, right in this very kitchen."

Y/N picked up a nearby knife and fiddled it between her hands, "Of course I won't kill you. Especially not here. If I were going to do that I wouldn't use a knife either. There'd be so much blood and I hate blood. You know that. It's too messy." Nelly stared at her for a second unable to tell if her friend was being serious. And she indeed was, but Y/N also noticed her friend's slightly concerned glance and continued, " I mean I won't kill you because I like you too. That should be the obvious given. I probably wouldn't talk to you if I didn't... or go out of my way to do it.... But I do, soooo I'm not gonna kill ya. I don't really want to kill anyone actually because again blood and bodies and other fluids...ew. But like in context I'm not gonna kill you..."

Y/N's rambling was cut off as Nelly began to laugh.

"Y/N I love you, you don't know how much I love that."

"I love you too. That's why I'm not gonna kill ya."

Both girls were laughing now at the conversation they'd already had more than once. It was almost a weekly occurrence of Nelly stating she thought Y/N would kill her for one silly reason or another, and Y/N stating she wouldn't because of the mess it would make. For a moment silence fell over the kitchen as the girls each went to do their own thing. Nelly continued baking and Y/N sat at the counter watching her, sneaking bits of batter from the bowl when she could. 

"But really, how do you think your test went?"

Briefly slumping to put her head on the table before bringing it back up Y/N answered.

"I mean, I think I knew how to work the problems, but I don't know if I got my numbers right. You know I'm bad with that sometimes," she replied. And it was true. It wasn't her own fault, everyone did it, but Y/N had a habit of accidentally switching numbers or letters around in her head at the last minute, or even words occasionally with what she intended. And while it usually didn't matter too much, it was nerve-wracking when her professor only graded questions as right or wrong. No points given for close attempts or missing math signs. And while Y/N understood their reasons for it, sometimes it still was very unpleasant. Luckily, Nelly could be just as positive as her friend in situations like this.

"That's alright isn't it though? It's only one test? What's the worse that could happen?"

"I get kicked out of college and can't get a job and end up dead in the streets..." 

"Ok ok, that's not gonna happen. And besides even if you can't get a job inventing things, there are always other options. You're still incredibly smart and talented. Besides," Nelly joked, poking her friend lightly, "You could always work at a club as a dancer eh? Shake around in sparkly clothes all day?"

It was Y/N's turn to flick batter in the other girl's face. She waved her hands around and made some pitiful attempts to recreate the moves they'd seen the girls in clubs do before. Y/N was incredibly capable of many talents and often considered herself a jack-of-all trades, however that 'all' didn't include anything having to do with dancing or holding a beat. Sure she could carry a tune as well as most people, but when it came to instruments or moving around to them she was at a loss. Too many steps or pre-planned notes that usually got mixed around in her head. So she typically stuck to letting her friends play the music while she cheered them on.

"SEE! I can't even do that Nel. That's the problem," Y/N groaned again thinking of her possible future, "I couldn't even become a dancer at a seedy club because dancer's got to have skills doing that stuff. They have to be able to read music and memorize steps. It doesn't matter how they dance, they're all so graceful too and look real pretty moving around. I haven't ever seen a dancer that makes me look away. But me," Y/N's head hit the table again, "I've got the damn grace of a drunk baby deer. They'll put me on stage and I'll be trying to swing my hips and the fellas in the front will be like 'oh wow who put that sick deer up there Ted?' And 'I don't know Joe maybe it's hunting season' and then they'll probably shoot me to with their gun to make the misery end. That's what's gonna happen I swear!"

Nelly had one hand covering her face as she tried to hide her smile, "First off. I don't even know what that means. Like what the fuck do I say to that. And second I promise you it won't be that bad. And anyone who tries to shoot you will have to fight me to the death first."

Y/N stuck out her hand to grab Nelly's.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah? And I'll make sure there's no blood for you to see either."

"Awe, you do love me!"

"Of course, I can't kill you either, your dad pays our rent."

"...fair enough. But if you kill me and get caught then you'll still get rent free. But I don't think the food will be as good."

"Who said I'm gonna get caught?"

"Nelly, last week you saw a police office and told him you had 4 bottles of illegal rum in your knickers drawer. You weren't even drunk. You just wanted to see what he would do."

"Right...."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a little while later when the phone rang. Y/N had again taken to couch, only this time she wasn't wallowing. Instead she was rereading the Sherlock Holmes book she got in January. It was probably the fifth time she'd done it by now, but still she was captivated every time. And since she was still half way though a chapter, Nelly was left to pick up the phone. The sounds of the conversation were present in the background of Y/N's head, but she was still too focused on her story to pay much attention. That was until Nelly came over and lightly knocked the back of the other girl's head, gaining her attention.

"Book down and grab your bag. We're going out tonight."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Half an hour later, the two girls reached the pub to meet up with Louisa, Betty, Eliza, and three more of their friends, Peter, Oliver, and Kent. Their group had met the trio a few months ago at the beginning of the semester and their friendship had only grown from there. They were actually the inhabitants of the apartment right next to Y/N and across from Nelly's old one. It was a nice mix, especially when one of the girls ended up staying out late at the university at night and needed someone to walk them home. It also didn't hurt that Peter, and Betty had taken a shine to each other. The pair of them often happened to fall behind the rest of the group when walking to a film or restaurant, lost in their own little world. Though it had been months now and neither would admit their feeling for the other. No amount of teasing or less than subtly hints about getting a room could make them speak the truth. Always saying they were just friends and nothing more. Well, it certainly was nothing more if "nothing more" meant sneaking away from the group's bonfire last week and disappearing for three hours, only to show up dirtied and grinning like the creepy clowns from the Halloween fair. Oliver nearly ended up in the pond for that comment. But in the end, friends or more, the small group enjoyed spending time together when they could, and with the first school year ending soon, they wanted do make the most before they parted ways for summer.

Making their way into the pub, Y/N saw the group had already claimed one booth in the crowded space for their own, which was a good thing too as the room seemed to double in population by the second. However, it seemed their friends had yet to lay eyes on the pair, so the two girls decided to have a little fun. Sneaking over to the table, weaving in and out between patrons they managed to make their way behind the opened ended booth behind Kent, each grabbing one of his shoulders and yelling "Ahhhh" in his ear. And while the rest of the group jumped (or in Oliver's case banged his head on the table), the tall boy just flinched slightly before beginning to laugh. He'd actually noticed the girls sneaking up on him from the mirror across the way, but didn't want to ruin their plans. Kent was like that a lot. 

He was probably the sweetest out of the boys, with his warm smile and farm boy persona. But there wasn't any chance you could ever sneak something by him. As oblivious as he was to the flirting of others. he had senses of a hawk and always seemed to know when he was being tricked or snuck up on. He wanted to be a photographer for the papers or film movies one day. He also had an impressive camera collection and knack for finding a shot of trouble. More than once he'd knocked on the girls door late at night, hoping that Y/N would be able to fix his camera and Nelly would look at the bruise forming beneath his eye when him and Oliver did a little too much amateur investigation. 

It didn't help that Oliver himself practically lived in the small police office his dad ran when he was back home, always going through old cases, looking for something to catch his ever fleeting interest. If there was an unsettling and unsolved crime in the paper, you could be sure Oliver would be trying to jump fence to the murder site to find the missing hand or whatever was left the next day. Atleast he'd had the decency to warn the group now before he dragged them on "adventures". In the beginning, he hadn't told them any of his investigation plans until they were already looking at the creepy writing on the wall or huddling together in the dark woods at night, while he looked for a certain plant that would "absolutely" prove that their stern chemistry professor was the one who should be arrested for a crime. Preferably, before the next test he had yet to study for. He was simply putting it 'fucking amazing'. Y/N and Oliver got along great because of their affinity for stupid jokes and bouncy dispositions. It didn't matter how random or confusing their harmless but, sometimes out of pocket conversations were, if one said something the other was sure to join in. 

Y/N also liked Oliver because he reminded her of her Uncle Finn, who she hadn't seen in years and was basically her brother. It had been so long since she'd seen her father's side of the family, and besides her father she didn't remember too much about most of them. Only bits and pieces of small memories at random times. But she did remember Finn, he'd been the last one she'd talked too before her mother had taken her and left after the news her father died. They'd been talking about what type of fort to build for their sleepover with Katie on that night, and how they could sneak cookies in the fort and hide them from Aunt Polly. She'd been standing right behind them of course, as they planned in the hall by the kitchen....where she was cooking. But she hadn't said anything, letting the children try to make their plan. After all, this was a regular occurrence between Finn and Y/N. They were always making plans to cause trouble in one way or another, but rarely did they ever follow them though. Eventually, and while still discussing forts, they'd gotten up and headed out the door, waving bye to Polly who absentmindedly waved back, not paying much attention as she got back to cutting the carrots. She hadn't put much thought into them leaving, since they were only going to Isaiah's house. It was a normal occurrence and by all means a relatively normal day. But that day hadn't been normal at all. Midway to their destination, Y/N's mother appeared with a letter in her hand, interrupting their conversation before saying Y/N needed to come with her immediately and that she couldn't play with Finn or Isaiah that day. Naively, though after a slight protest wanting to stay together, both children relented to the woman who was still technically Y/N's remaining guardian while her father was at war. Y/N followed her mother down the street, but not before pausing and running back down the street to give Finn a lasting hug and promised to build the fort tomorrow, cookies included..... But unknown to them that wouldn't happen. When Y/N got home her mother told her what was in the letter balled between her hands. That was letter that turned a normal day into the worst in Y/N's young life...

So when she woke up one morning, a few days into her first year of the university, to a young man trying climb in her kitchen window... well she almost took a bat to his skull, but after hearing his girlish scream upon seeing her, she realized something else wasn't right. After all, what robber sings jazz to himself when breaking into a house.... only wears one shoe. Still holding him at bat point, she'd demanded he name himself and state his purpose. To her relief he'd explained that he had thought it was his own kitchen and he wanted to try climbing into the room since he accidentally forgot his key after going out early that morning. He'd noticed a couple of cop cars speeding by and wanted to see where they were going. In his sleepy haste for hopefully a homocide, he'd forgotten not only his keys, but also his left shoe, and as a result, after only making it two blocks, he was stuck outside. That was until he'd seen the Y/N's kitchen window that had been left slightly cracked open the night before to let airflow in and mistook it for his own. How he'd gotten up three stories with one shoe Y/N didn't ask, but she knew she was impressed, and a bit scared. She'd never leave the window even slightly open ever again. Having decided the gangly boy wasn't going to kill her and get blood on her floors, Y/N did the one thing she was very good at.... She made him her friend by offering him food. Toast to be exact, as it was the one thing she knew she could make well.

And from that moment the rest was history. Once again, she finally had a friend who she was as close to as her favorite uncle. Someone who understood her as she understood him and together they would create just as much good as they did chaos. After breakfast she'd joined Oliver in knocking on his apartment door repeatedly until a half asleep Kent opened the door, not even registering the new face. It would be four more days before she saw either boy again or actually learned Kent's name. She'd dubbed him "the tall one with messy black hair " at that point when recounting the event to her friends. Then on the fourth day, Oliver had eagerly called out to her across the street, waving his arms like a bird to get her attention as she was walking with her friends. He asked if they wanted to join him and Kent for some "fun". Having nothing else to do and intrigued by the boy's energy, they'd followed him.... 

Did they end up lost in the middle of the woods for three hours looking for where Oliver read about a woman who had killed her unfaithful husband? Yes? Did Betty try and convince Nelly to take the injured baby owl back and keep it in her apartment until it recovered? Yes. Did she agree? No, but Clark did, and Oliver threatened to make it into stew if it pooed on his case files. Did Eliza throw a pebble at Oliver's neck, making him scream and nearly jump into Kent's arms? Well that, she'd never admit, but it was funny to watch. Did Lydia almost smell a poisonous flower only for Y/N to stop her and give a very detailed explanation of what painful things would happen if she inhaled it? Yes??? Did Oliver go to smell the flower after hearing said explanation just to see if it was true? Yes.... Well he tried but Y/N wacked him on the back of the head before he smelled it too much.... didn't stop him from almost passing out though. It also didn't stop her from asking him if he thought she should try it... Kent decided at that moment to A) never let Y/N and Oliver get drunk at the same time for the safety of the free world, and B) grab the flower to light it on fire so no one else could smell it.... Did this prompt another rambling explanation from Y/N about how burning the flower could be more deadly than just smelling it causing the rest of them to run away from Kent who was already "infected" with the "botanical blood death" according to Oliver? Yes, but even though he hadn't lit the plant yet he still listened to her every word. Did they still spend an hour trying to convince Oliver to let Kent back in his car for the trip back? No.... it was two hours.... All in all it was a great trip and everyone had fun! The baby bird was named Owlver ("Like Oliver but with Owl....get it Ollie?"..... "Absolutely fucking not Y/N.") and Owie (his nickname) loves sitting on Oliver's head while he sleeps. And from that day forward it wasn't unusual for them to meet together like they were today. However, now they made Oliver tell them when he wanted to explore a crime scene.... he told the truth....usually.

But back to the present, where Nelly and Y/N had settled down among their friends. Nelly sat on one end of the booth with her legs over Louisa's lap, wiggling her feet towards Eliza and Betty in greeting. Y/N ended up sitting between Oliver and Kent. They all knew that she, like Eliza wasn't the most comfortable in crowded places and on top of that she didn't like touching too many people in general, especially random strangers. Sure, she was usually alright with brushing up with her friends, but aside from the occasional hug, even that took some time. So to lessen the possibility of that occurring, Eliza got to pick the seat in the smack middle of the booth next to Peter and Betty, while Kent had given Y/N his seat next to Oliver, and taken the remaining end of the booth while placing his arm over the back of Y/N's space so he wouldn't fall off. And soon enough after they were settled the first round of their drinks arrived.

Everyone was content for a little while longer, each jumping in and out of the two or three different conversations happening at once. Then Louisa grabbed her glass and stood up, causing everyone to pause and look at her. 

"Alright darlings," she drawled," Who's gonna fight the crowd and go to the Loo with me, eh? I wanna check my hair and take a piss."

Betty and Eliza also got up, but Y/N hesitated slightly pretending to avoid Louisa's eyes and leaning a bit farther from the booth end, closer to Oliver who was no help in her plight, already starting to try pushing her out to effectively knock Kent off the seat so he could stretch his own legs out. The 'brilliant stinking bean pole of a human being' Y/N thought to herself.

"Y/N? Are you coming or are you really gonna leave me to the potential horrors of the bathroom," Louisa questioned, poking her arm lightly with pretty red nails.

Y/N jokingly rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically, "But Louisaaa..... peopleeee!!!! You know how I feel able them. They'r- Olive Boy stop pushing my ass or you're gonna knock Kent out."

"That's the point."

Louisa only laughed and grabbed her hand insistently, pulling her up as Kent, the traitor of a friend, released his hold over her shoulders and stood up making Oliver's goal a whole lot easier. Y/N elbowed him slightly as he continued to try and claim his new space causing the boy to groan and finally relent. "Yes people, but come on! It's just a quick trip and besides it's The Rules."

"Ah yes, THE Rules. If one girl goes to take a piss, all must follow to hear it's tinkle," She drawled, raising an eyebrow. "Alright. I guessss I'll just follow the code or face the punishment of death by high heel to the head. Their very cute shoes, but that color doesn't go with my eyes."

The other girls laughed with Y/N as she finally relented, letting Louisa lead them away through the incredibly thick crowd. The boys were left behind to "guard" the drinks and make sure James Orville didn't steal any more chairs for his own table. If they'd look behind them, they'd have seen a smug Kent sitting down abruptly on Oliver's knees, keeping him trapped as Peter moved to tie the other boy's shoes together. 

Once in the toilets, Y/N, and Betty took the time to fiddle with hair or reapply lipstick while, Louisa, Eliza, and Nelly did their business. Out of the corner of her eye, Betty noticed Y/N looking at her with smirk. Her ruby red lips were partially hidden behind the drink she'd brought with her, but Betty could see she had something to say. 

"Alright. What is it you wanna say," turning to her friend, Betty raised an eyebrow in question at her glance. 

Y/N smirked wider now. "Oh nothing... Do you wanna try my drink," she offered, holding the caramel colored liquid forward. 

"Na, that's alright. I know how you am about sharing food. In fact I'm surprised you even offered," Betty reminded her with a smile. "You don't like putting your mouth on places where others' have been. Just the thought makes you ick, that what you said when Ollie stole your fork once. And if someone accidentally takes a bite of your food you'll avoid that area entirely, IF you even choose to finish it. I'm not gonna push you," Betty laughed good naturally at her friend's 'preferences' as she called them. 

For as impulsive and out of pocket as Y/N could be, she did have interesting a habit of being very picky so to speak when it came to matters involving things that came into contact with other people. If she offered to share food she'd practically get the person their own plate for even a single bite, and sometimes she didn't even want to touch the dishes other people used if she didn't know if they were clean. Though that may one have came from an old friend who had a habit of putting dirty dishes back with the clean ones. She'd even gotten her own set of different utensils once. And that was only some of the things she did involving just food. And while she knew it likely wouldn't do any harm, she just sometimes felt there was often something off about using the same utensils as someone else just had or taking a sip from the same cup someone else did. She couldn't explain why, it just was.

Y/N have a short huffing laugh of her own at the truth in Betty's words as she continued, "Besides, Y/N. I do kinda agree with you on the food thing. Sharing chips and sandwiches is fine by me, but when it come to drinks there's too much change of backwash. I don't want that from no one you know?"

There it was. The opportunity Y/N was hoping she'd find a window for.

"Oh, absolutely. Backwash is a total no go. But I gotta ask Betty Boo.....when did Peter become 'no one' to be exact?"

Betty froze for a second, like a great secret was about to be uncovered, before she composed herself again and put on a confused look. 

"What do you mean by that Y/N," commented Eliza, who had come out to the sinks and only heard the end of the conversation was also confused. Turning to Betty, Y/N gave her friend a smile that's wasn't mean or cruel, more like Y/N had finally found the evidence to put the pieces together for proof.

"Well, I noticed a moment when we were back out at the table. See, there were seven of us but only five drinks. Now I know Kent isn't drinking tonight to make sure you lot get home later, but that still leaves one drink missing. And I know you're drinking tonight because I noticed you've emptied that glass twice as fast as you usually do. But that's because it isn't just your drink," she gestured to the drink in Betty's hand as Louisa joined them, "And it's not Nelly's either, I know y'all share sometimes too, but she got her own tonight," Betty began to blush knowing they'd been caught by now, but still let her friend finish. "Then I noticed it," Y/N continued her deductions, "You happened to take a sip of your glass once before putting it down on the table. And who was it that tied to sneakily take the glass for his own sip while we were telling Oliver not to make faces at the man across the way?.... Our very own Peter Escott." 

Eliza gasped in astonishment, "Ohhh Betty! You're sharing drinks with Pete?!"

From the stall Nelly's own gasp and shout of "Betty's finally fucking Pete?" could be heard as she scrambled to get out.

All four girls looked at their friend, trying to hide their smiles as they waited for Betty's response. 

"Shit."

Oh. That wasn't the response they were expecting. Immediately Y/N felt bad about asking. Maybe she should have just ignored her observations.

"What? OOOh Betty did you not want me to po.." she started to apologise but Betty interrupted as she began to laugh to herself.

"No, no it's not that. You just made me loose the bet." Now the rest of the girls were confused.

"Bet?"

"Who's Betting?"

"Betty's been betting?"

"Badly betting if she lost too. OOHH WAIT, does this have to do with the bonfire? And Pete?"

Shaking her head once, Betty downed the rest of her (and Pete's) drink before cutting her losses and finally admitting the truth.

"Ok fine, I'll admit it. Yes I am going around with Pete now," Her confession being briefly interrupted by the joyous congrats and eager gasps of her friends. 

"Ahhhhhh"

"We knew it!"

"You two were always cute together."

"When did it happen? Give us all the details!!"

Betty, laughed again, slightly blushing at the story about to be told.

"So as you know Pete and I have always been close in a different way than we are with the rest of you. And I love all of you, but with Pete it's just a bit different. I guess that's why we use to fall behind a bit and talk. We could talk for hours and he listens and makes me feel like the most special girl in the world! But I wasn't sure if he felt the same way too and I was scared to ask. But then I guess he felt the same way because," She paused for second, reliving that moment from last week, "Then we had the bonfire last week. And well I realized I forgot my towel back by the river, right? And he offered to get it with me." The rest of the girls were surrounding a blushing Betty now, each eager to hear the story as she recounted her romantic tale. They'd have to be sure to tell Ruthie when they got back.

"And? What happened next?! Because we know you didn't just get the towel. Your hair was a mess, we want all the details!"

"Well, maybe not ALL the details but you know, enough." 

Betty have a small laugh before continuing, "Alright I'll give you the details but you have to be quiet. And promise not to tell the other boys, I'm not sure if Pete wants them to know yet." After they promised, swearing on the cry board, Betty finished her tale. "So we went down by the water and found the towel. But when we saw it I looked up and saw how pretty the stars were wanted to sit down for a bit. He agreed and there we were. Sitting by the water, side by side, looking at the stars. Then there was a shooting on so I decide to make a wish. And you know what happened after that. I saw Pete looking at me all funny. He got this weird look in his eye like he couldn't make a choice. And when I asked what what wrong he asked if he could try something. Well I thought he was gonna try skipping a rock, but you know what he did?"

A collective "What," echoed from the rest of the girls.

"He kissed me, right on the lips."

The small bathroom was filled with squeals and cheers of excitement as Betty's story reached the climax. 

"Ahhh Betty!! He kissed you!"

"Ohh on the lips!"

"He definitely loved you!!"

"I can already see the wedding!"

Suddenly their excitement was interrupted by a knock on the door and a gruff voice from outside.

"Everything alright in there? I heard yelling."

Maybe not humiliated, but still a little embarrassed their discussion could be heard outside, the girls were quick to reassure the man, "We're alright! Just a bit excited. Thank you though."

"Alright, well. Just be safe.... I guess," the man replies as he left, confused to what made the ladies room so exciting as he made his was back to his own table. Then the girls turned their attention back to Betty.

"So that's it? Y'all are finally together? That's brilliant," Y/N beamed, glad for her friend and that her observations didn't lead her astray. But evidently Betty wasn't done yet.

"Yes, but even that's not all. See when he kissed me I was a bit shocked and froze up. I mean, I liked it but I wasn't expecting it so I didn't know what to do. And when he pulled back I could see he thought he'd made a mistake. Like he thought I was gonna hit him for kissing me or that I didn't feel the same way. He looked like he was debating getting up and running away right there. So before he could I.... I grabbed him by the collar and held him there while I kissed him."

Another round of excitement was heard from outside at this new information.

"Oh Betty!! Look at you go!!"

"I bet he liked that."

"How long after that did you end up in the dirt?"

Betty rolled her eyes at Nelly's comment but still smiled at her friends. It felt good to finally tell them, even if she and Pete were having fun hiding it. There was something so enticing about a secret relationship no one else knows about, even if they all suspected it. But it was also fun to fawn over it with her friends. The girls gossiped about this new information for a while, before a few more women came in and they decided it was time to go back to the table. All of them left with grins and knowing smirks and they weaved their way back to the crowd. 

When they arrived, Kent was still sitting on Oliver's legs, unbothered, while Pete had moved behind him to hold his arms behind his back. It appeared they were having a discussion of their own with Pete whispering something real close to Oliver's ear. But upon seeing the girls he let go of his friend and the boys froze, with Pete pretending to be interested in his drink while Oliver and Kent attempted to sneak their own knowing glances between Betty and Pete. It didn't take a genius to figure out what they talked about. 

With a not displeased but still resigned sigh, Betty decided to do what she'd been wanting to all night. She scooted back into the booth before sitting on her boyfriends lap and giving him a kiss. Both the other boys' mouths dropped open in shock. Ok, so maybe they hadn't been talking the same thing when the girls were in the bathroom. After accepting the kiss Pete had pulled back eyes wide before looking at the rest of the group. He sputtered slightly not knowing what to say, he didn't know she'd finally told the girls. But before he could speak again Betty interrupted him.

"It's fine they know."

"They know?"

"Yep we know," Eliza interrupted, sitting down next to Betty again as the group moved to their original positions. Only this time, Betty remained on Pete's lap and now Y/N joined Kent on sitting over Oliver's legs as he still refused to move them. 

"Was it the sharing a drink that gave it away" asked Oliver, thinking back to his original observation that led to the boys' own discussion.

"Yep," popped Y/N, patting Oliver's chest in agreement. Evidently she hadn't been the only one to notice the couple's less than sneaky tactics. 

"Nice.... So now that the cats out of the bag for that fucking finally, who wants to go to the old water mill with me? I read a paper this morning about a foot that was found by the owner Saturday morning in the wheel. Sounds like a mysterious crime is a foot....Right? Get it? A Foot. Like they one found at the mill?"

Y/N gave a small snort as she hid her smile behind her hand, while the rest of the table groaned at Oliver's gruesome joke. She was absolutely glad she decided to see who it was sneaking through her window before swinging that day. If she hadn't then who's to say when such a great thing would have begun?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Series Masterlist Main Masterlist

[collecting-stories]

Manslaughter - Rafe Cameron

Request: Can I request sth. for Rafe ? :) How would he and y/n reunite after years where he broke up with her, went to jail or some facility for killing Peterkin and she went on with her life ? I love your writing!

Request: Hey can i have an vvv angsty rafe x reader pls? Love ur stuff xx

Outer Banks Masterlist

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

A wealthy family, good behavior, and a renewed plea of insanity at the time of the crime all met at the crossroads of Rafe’s review trial. It was ten years after Peterkin’s death, ruled manslaughter despite him driving to the airstrip with a gun, that the review board decided Rafe could be released on house arrest. Two years he would have to spend in the house only allowed to leave for parole meetings and therapy.  

“I shouldn’t have to do some dumb therapy shit.”

“I don’t really think you’re in the position to bitch about anything Rafe.” Wheezie commented, sitting in the car with her brother. In the time that he had been behind bars she had gotten a license, graduated high school, and was in the process of getting her masters. It was because of that Wheezie asked you to stop by.  You had kept in touch with Wheezie after Rafe had been arrested, knowing how difficult it had been for her to see her brother arrested and how alienated the family became from each other afterward. You had always loved the youngest Cameron like she was your own sister and you had stayed close to her. When your daughter was born years later after you finally felt ready to let Rafe and your past go, she was the godmother. So when she asked you to come to the house you did, even if it meant walking back into those memories.  

Being back in front of Tanney Hill was like walking into a liquor store when you knew you were an alcoholic. The amount of time you had spent there during your youth was synonymous with the amount of pain it had caused you. Not the house, of course, but the boy inside. The one who was all grown up now, nearing thirty, and far removed from the person you fell in love with. Though, to be fair, he’d hadn’t been that person the last time you were behind the doors of Tanny Hill either.  

-

“Don’t move!”  

You hit the wall, hands up as you watched Shoupe push Rafe against the counter, Thomas’ gun trained on your boyfriend. Another cop kept their gun on you as you watched them handcuff Rafe, zip ties a little too tight.  

“What’s going on?”

“Don’t move.” The cop in front of you repeated Shoupe’s warning, holding her gun steady as she stared you down. You looked passed her where they were trying to lead Rafe away as he struggled, shouting about his dad and lawyers.

“Rafe!” You called his name but it was no use, he couldn’t seem to focus on anything that was happening as he fought against Shoupe, much less on you. The cop across from you held her hand out as if that was supposed to ease your nerves as she holstered her gun.  

“Miss, I need you to calm down.”

“I don’t understand, what’s happening?” Your voice sounded distant as you spoke, hysterical even.  

-

The door to the old white house opened and a dark-haired young woman stepped out, well-dressed and only half paying attention as she texted someone. A far cry from the thirteen-year-old you had once known.

“Wheezie...Louisa,” you smiled when she looked up, her own smile matching yours.  

“Thank god, you’re here. Thank you for coming.” She said, shoulders relaxing, “I just...don’t want to leave him alone.”

“I’m sure he appreciates you treating him like a baby.” You stepped inside the house after her, the entry way looking just the way it had the last time you were in the house.  

“Yeah, well, I don’t know what else to do, I don’t want him leaving the house.” She replied, “he’s in his room anyway.”

“Hope he stays there,” you mused, trading places with her as she moved to leave the house.  

“He’s been really depressed, I think,” she replied, “if it’s too much, you don’t have to stay.” She knew she was asking a lot but she didn’t know who else to ask. She didn’t speak to her mother anymore and her father had fled the OBX and America days before her 14th birthday. Sometimes Sarah stopped by but even that relationship was tense.  

“I’ll be fine Lousia, promise.”  

“Okay, I’ll text you on my way home,” she said.  

-

“He’s in his room.” Rose said, letting you into the house. She stood off to the side, barely interested in your presence and looking more annoyed than anything that she had to open the door.  

“Thanks,” you moved into the house passed her, waving to Wheezie when you spotted her in the other room. You hurried upstairs and down the hall to your boyfriend’s room, slipping inside and away from the rest of the household. Rafe’s room was like a sanctuary from the rest of his house and sometimes even from the rest of the island.  

He was still sleeping when you went in, beer bottles on the nightstand along with an ashtray, half smoked cigarettes, a bong and his lighter. You shut the door, locking it behind you and tiptoeing across the room so you wouldn’t wake him, though that was doubtful given the music coming from his stereo. If that didn’t wake, not much else could. He was stretched out almost diagonally on the bed, on his stomach, comforter twisted around his legs and pushed down to his waist. You toed off your sandals and climbed up on the bed on your knees, crawling over to your boyfriend and straddling him.  

You leaned down over him, brush hair away from his face and kissing below his ear. “Rafe, wake up.” You were supposed to be going to the island club with him and Topper and you definitely hadn’t woken up this early to sit around while your boyfriend slept.

He groaned and twisted his arm back to try and swat at you. “Go away.”

“Not a chance,” you laughed, trying to move away from his arm without getting off his back. “We have to go.”

“I’m not going,” he mumbled, pressing his face further into the bed.  

“You told Topper-”

“Fuck him,” he twisted, knocking you onto your side on the bed as he laid on his back. “Come here, I wanna sleep.”

“God, you are such a baby.” You teased, already giving in as you repositioned yourself to cuddle up beside him.  

-

You stood in the kitchen, reading through emails on your phone and fighting the urge to walk through the house. When Wheezie had let you in your first inclination had been to walk straight upstairs to Rafe’s bedroom the way you used to when you were younger.  

“God, of all the people I didn’t expect to see.” Rafe’s voice caught your attention and you looked up to find him standing in the entryway of the kitchen, sweatpants obscuring the house arrest anklet that he wore.  

“Wheezie asked me to be here.” You replied, looking away. Would she consider you still helpful if you went and sat in your car until she came home. Being here, with Rafe, was harder than you thought it would be. In the black and white world of what was good and what was bad you knew exactly how you felt. Peterkin had been more than good to your family the whole time you lived on the island and you had been horrified to discover someone had murdered her. Knowing that person was Rafe was asking you to choose who was more important.  

“That’s the only reason you’re here?” He asked, moving further into the kitchen.

You hadn’t ever let go of the feelings you had for Rafe though. He was your first boyfriend and you had weighed everyone else against him for a long time. “I’m not here for you.” You finally said.  

“What happened was a mistake,” Rafe said, “I wasn’t in my right mind.”

“You know what? I would’ve loved to buy that when I was a kid but I’m not anymore, you can’t sell me an excuse.”  

“So that’s how it’s gonna be?

“I told you Rafe,” You replied, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. This was all harder than you thought it would be, “I’m here because Wheezie asked me to be. I moved on, I have a life that doesn’t include you anymore. Yeah, when we were eighteen I thought you were it but I’m almost thirty...I’m not so naive now. I’ve got a kid, I’m getting married,” you shrugged, “I would do anything for your sister, she’s like my own, but I’m not still hanging onto you.”  

“Getting married huh?” He asked, “to someone around here?”

“Yeah.”  

“Who?”  

“It’s none of your business, actually. You’re not part of my life anymore.” You said.  

He nodded slowly, trying to steady his breathing and the pounding in his chest at your words. Finally, he grabbed a water bottle from the island, “I’ll be upstairs.”

“I’m sorry, you know, that things couldn’t have been different.” You admitted as he walked away, “I loved you...I loved being here with you, if things had been different...I’d love to think that we’d be together still but, I’m happy now.”

“Good for you.”  

You listened as the door to his bedroom slammed shut and closed your eyes, fighting back tears.  

-

taglist: @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @maplelattes22 @poguesrforlife  @freckled-and-daydreaming @chasefreakinstokes @millie-753 @fangirlwithme @alex12948 @katherine097@tangledinsparkles @carbonated-beverage @mariofgreengables @damonsalvawhore27@dopedoodes @dolanfivsosxox @belledutchess @poguelifeeee @faded-blue @parkerpetertingle@thebookwormlife @summer-clouds-and-long-days @jellyfishbeansontoast @minigranger@hoewkeye @love-someone-special @tiredfeels @strangerthanfanfiction713 @the-only-nana@tomzfrog @mozz-are-lla @vindictive-hearts @poguestyleskye @ssprayberrythings@jenahbell @beautyandthebleh @gothackedalready @teenwaywardasgardian @sarahcxmeron@haha-fuck-you-thot @stillbelieve398-5 @rewindlr @queenniccimicci @kissessforharryyy @thedarkqueenofavalon @alytavzla @bqmblebee @linniep @nerdypartytrashpsychic @xxchxrryxx @spencer-reid-is-a-cutie @mirjanak @danielladreaming @obx-saltlife @youngestxhearts @spnobsessedmemes @wowitswondergurl @celestialmaybank @mybnkjj @pineappleandcherries @mysterious-adventurer @justawilddreamerchild @rhyetaylor62@calm-rejects @balletandyuzu @oh-annaa @aiifandomsunite @x-lulu @ceruleanjj @wicked-laugh @obxwriterfan @allie-mcginn @pcterparxer @literarycharleton @khiaraaa-in-spacee@crushe-s @teamnick @daydreamlilys @collectiveuniverses @activist-af @mdgrdians@buckys-sunflower @vindictive-hearts @copper-boom @talksoprettyjjx @5am-cigarette@smiithys @dontjinx-it @outerbanksbro @mysticsthinking @heavenlymama @rudy-pankow-needs-an-oscar @babymatilda @raekenliar @lemur46 @haute-shawn 

[introvertguide]

The African Queen (1951); AFI #65

The next movie from the AFI list is sadly the last of the group starring the great Humphrey Bogart, The African Queen (1951). It was directed by John Huston and is adapted from a novel by C.S. Forester. It was again the story of some people who are down on their luck and then placed into a highly volatile situation. Huston really liked his down-on-their-luck characters from novels and Bogart was his favorite actor to play the part. It was a successful venture because they were able to tempt the great Katharine Hepburn to join in and create quite a film. The trio of Huston, Hepburn, and Bogart earned quite a few positive mentions for the story and the acting including four Academy Award nomination, but only Bogart walked away with a trophy for Best Actor. The film was partly shot on location in Africa and the cast and crew really had to suffer for their art, so it is a shame that they did not earn more awards. I want to talk more about the the story and the performance, but it would be best to go through the details of the movie first, so...

SPOILER WARNING!!! I DO NOT THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE FROM THE YOUNGER GENERATIONS KNOW MUCH ABOUT THIS STORY SO BE WARNED THAT I AM ABOUT TO SPOIL THE WHOLE THING!!! PLEASE TURN BACK NOW AND WATCH THE FILM FIRST AND THEN COME BACK TO LEARN MORE!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Samuel Sayer (Robert Morley) and his sister Rose (Katharine Hepburn) are British Methodist missionaries in the village of Kungdu in German East Africa at the beginning of the First World War in August 1914. The scene is set with the pair singing poorly with a large group of confused looking Indigenous Africans. Notice how sick that Rose looks and know that Katharine Hepburn was extremely sick with dysentery during this entire church scene. Their post and supplies are delivered by a small steam launch named the African Queen, helmed by the rough-and-ready Canadian mechanic Charlie Allnut (Humphrey Bogart), whose coarse behavior they stiffly tolerate. The native Africans seem to like Charlie quite a bit.

The brother and sister invite Mr. Allnut to tea and his stomach gurgles horribly the whole time. It becomes apparent that the missionaries are being much better cared for then Mr. Allnut and he does not eat well.

When Charlie warns the Sayers that war has broken out between Germany and Britain, they choose to remain in Kungdu, only to witness Schutztruppe (German colonial troops) burn down the village and herd the villagers away to be pressed into service. When Samuel protests, he is struck by an officer, and soon becomes delirious with fever and dies shortly afterward. I am not exactly sure what he dies from, but he gives the most impassioned death bed speech that explains how the two got to Africa. It is kind of funny because Samuel basically says that he was not very smart and would became a missionary and bring along his sister, who was not attractive enough to be married. Charlie returns later the same day after finding his mine destroyed by the Germans and is being pursued for his supplies, which include gelignite. He helps Rose bury her brother, and they set off in the African Queen.

While sailing down river and planning their escape, Charlie mentions to Rose that the British are unable to attack the Germans due to the presence of a large gunboat, the Louisa, patrolling a large lake downriver. Rose comes up with a plan to convert the African Queen into a torpedo boat and sink the Louisa. The whole idea seems a little far fetched because Rose literally looks at the scrap and boxes around her and decides they should create a Kamikaze boat. Charlie points out that navigating the Ulanga River to get to the lake would be suicidal: they would have to pass a German fort and negotiate several dangerous rapids. But Rose is insistent and eventually persuades him to go along with the plan.

Later, Charlie and Rose continue down the river until they find a nice place to stop. The both go overboard to take a nice bath in the river. It is a little awkward when Rose can't get back in the boat wearing only her undergarments. That night, there is a sudden rain storm and Charlie tries to join Rose in her make shift room on the boat and she kicks him out. She soon realizes that he is escaping the rain and allows him in, even propping up an umbrella by his head so he does not get wet.

The next day, the pair runs into some light rapids and Charlie navigates through them thinking the experience will cause Rose to give up on her plan. She actually becomes quite excited and asks if she could steer the next time. Further on down the river, the two stop and Charlie becomes inebriated and drunkenly insults Rose and her plan, for which she retaliates by dumping his entire supply of gin into the river. The relationship has hit a low point and Rose does not wish to talk with Charlie because he is trying to back out of her plan. They finally reconcile when Charlie agrees to continue going down the river to try and blow up the Louisa.

Charlie allows Rose to navigate the river by rudder while he tends the engine, and she is still emboldened after they got through the first set of rapids with minimal flooding in the boat. When they pass the German fortress, the soldiers begin shooting at them, damaging the boiler. Fortunately, the soldiers are unable to cause more severe damage to the boat due to having the sun in their eyes. Charlie manages to reattach a pressure hose just as they are about to enter the second set of rapids. The boat rolls and pitches as it goes down the rapids, leading to more severe flooding on the deck, but they manage to make it through. It must be pointed out that the obvious model boat going down the rapids is adorable.

While celebrating their success, the two find themselves in an embrace and kiss. Embarrassed, they break off, but eventually succumb to their feelings and fall in love. There is some obvious innuendo when Rose is using the bilge pump and Charlie tells her to slow down or she will wear herself out. There is some awkward conversation about flowers and it is then implied that there might have been some physical activity between the two. Rose has been calling her boat mate Mr. Allnut this entire time and Charlie has been calling her Miss, but the two are now on a first name basis. Be prepared to hear "Charlie" and "Rosie" a lot through the end of the film.

As they continue down the river, Charlie entertains Rose with his animal impressions when they are suddenly faced with very severe rapids and a waterfall. This third set of rapids damages the propeller shaft. Rigging up a primitive forge on shore, Charlie straightens the shaft, welds a new blade onto the prop, and they are off again.

There are multiple comparisons to the river and to the growing relationship between the new couple. The river has rapids when the two are arguing. The river changes its name part way down similar to the way the two switch to pet names instead of the more formal monikers they had been using. I am a little confused at the comparison at this point because they are sailing along happily with the new prop and shaft and decide to drop anchor in the reeds. They are immediately attacked by bugs and realize that they can't stop and must anchor in the current or keep going.

Charlie realizes that there is a lot of long grass at the mouth of the river and, as they continue, the going gets more and more difficult. All appears lost when the boat becomes mired in the mud and dense reeds. They try to tow the boat through the muck, only to have Charlie come out of the water covered with leeches. With no supplies left and short of potable water, Rose and a feverish Charlie pass out, both accepting they will soon die. Rose says a quiet prayer. As they sleep, exhausted and beaten, torrential rains far upstream gently raise the river's level and float the African Queen off of the mud and into the lake. Once on the lake, they narrowly avoid being spotted by the Louisa.

Over the next two days, Charlie and Rose convert some oxygen cylinders into torpedoes using gelignite and improvised detonators. They push the torpedoes through holes cut in the bow of the African Queen as improvised spar torpedoes. There is an argument between the two over whether or not the ramming is a two person job, but they decide they will succeed or fail together. The Louisa returns and Charlie and Rose steam the African Queen out onto the lake in darkness, intending to set her on a collision course. A strong storm strikes which causes water to pour into the African Queen through the torpedo holes. Eventually the African Queen capsizes, throwing them both into the water. Charlie loses sight of Rose in the storm.

Charlie is captured and taken aboard the Louisa, where he is interrogated. Believing that Rose has drowned, he makes no attempt to defend himself against accusations of spying and the German captain sentences him to death by hanging. Rose is found and captured and brought aboard the ship just after Charlie's sentence is pronounced. The captain questions her, and Rose proudly confesses the plot to sink the Louisa, deciding they have nothing to lose. The captain sentences her to be executed with Charlie, both as British spies. Charlie asks the German captain to marry them before they are executed. The captain agrees, and after a brief marriage ceremony, there is an explosion and the Louisa quickly capsizes. The ship has struck the overturned submerged hull of the African Queen and detonated the torpedoes. The newly married couple happily swim to safety.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

I enjoyed this movie much more than I did the first time watching the film. On first view, the relationships between the two characters felt very rushed to me and the early technicolor image overlays were not very good. I thought that the model boat in the rapids was laughable and the music was distracting. I have definitely changed my tune and focused on the great aspects of the film: the story, the acting, and the adventure.

This is not normally the order I approach my reviews, but I am going to point out the flaws first so people know what to expect. It can be charming if you know what is coming. Let's start with the score. It is pleasant and adventurous, but it is entirely inappropriate in a lot of scenes. The most dramatically tense music comes when Rose watches Charlie pouring himself a gin. Not when alligators are dropping in the water or when they are going through rapids or even when they are going to be hanged. The score is also very frenetic because it tries (and fails) to mimic the emotions of the characters on screen and the situation is constantly changing. This is definitely one of the poorest soundtracks on the AFI list.

Referring back to the characters changing moods a lot, the tone is all over the place. It goes from lightly romantic to laughing to deathly peril to anger at a moments notice. The adventure aspect is fun and the characters are lovable, but the tone is all over the place. The acting is good and the story is great so the only person left to blame is the director. I think Jon Huston tried to get too much of the source material in the movie and made it a little too compact. It was early days of book adaptations so I can't really blame him, but it is still noticeable. It does add to the fun of the movie because you truly have no clue as to what will happen next.

Finally, as far as gripes, the special effects are extremely dated. The overlays of the actors to a scene behind them do not match well at all and are covered with a green particle effect. It is definitely technology that has been much improved upon over the last 70 years. Also, a little model boat was used to mimic the rapids and the little dolls that are supposed to represent our characters are adorable. It is so pathetic that it is endearing, kind of like an ugly sweater at the holidays or a meal bordering on poisonous baked by children on Mother's Day. You just smile big, say thank, and remember it always for blackmail in the future.

Now for the good. I thought that Katharine Hepburn did a great job as the middle aged maid who had never really experienced love and found it in a creaky old steamboat captain. I also thought that Humphrey Bogart really pulled off the old mechanic that could make anything work in those trying conditions and yet still be bullied by missionaries. The other actors were merely serviceable, but Hepburn and Bogart were the whole story and took up 90% of the screen time. They leads were good and deserved their Oscar nominations. It was especially impressive as they were on location in Africa for some of the filming and were dealing with insects and sickness. It was also a very active part for two middle-aged actors and I think they pulled it off convincingly.

I think what really makes the story is how the river is a constantly changed metaphor for the grow relationship of Charlie and Rosie. There are turbulent times that are shown by rapids. There are smooth times shown by glassy water. There are places that seem nice and turn out to be awful similar to some of the conversation. All this winding build-up of a relationship leads to "taking the plunge" into marriage as the adventure takes them through a winding river until they are plunged into the lake after being married on the Louisa. It is one big amazing metaphor and I love it.

So should this movie be on the AFI top 100? Yes, but not towards the top. It is fun, but there are a lot of bad aspects that could ruin the experience if you are not in the right mindset. It is ranked as the lowest Bogart film on the list and that seems fair. It deserves to be on the list and the ranking is appropriate. Would I recommend it? Sure would. I have seen it twice this week along with a one hour special that goes behind the scenes and I am still not tired of it. The pace is fast, but that makes it an easy watch. There is implied physical relations and gross man vs. wild moments, but it was made during the Hays Code and appropriate for any aged viewer. A great movie and I am glad that I gave it a second chance.

[justmeandmyships]

Debunking Amy & Laurie’s haters part. 1:

For my daily dose of rants about Amy & Laurie, I’m going to respond some of the most arguments people like to use to destroy this couple, so they can keep pushing their heteronormative relationship into Jo/Louisa troat. So let’s begin.

1. “Laurie only could love Jo. He only married Amy because she was the last March”

There are so many chapters I could use to debunk this thing but that would take my whole rant, so I’m just going to use a few ones☝️☝️ ( I have to make clear this so you don’t fool yourself thinking those are isolated chapters).

I find strange how many of you forget the chapter where Laurie end up mad at himself because he was forgetting Jo way too quickly and instead of fighting to forget her, he was fighting to NOT FORGET HER !!!

He wanted to feel bad for loosing her but his heart was like “sorry dude, ain’t happening” .

If he indeed loved Jo romantically like y’all claiming he wouldn’t have to force himself to be sad. He will be sad and broken and that’s it but he wasn’t.

He even tried for days to write about her, but what he got was him saying the expression “God Bless, What a nightmare of a Woman”. That’s why he got mad at himself because he realize his love for her wasn’t that deep as he thought.

He was so ashamed of himself that he was even willing to marrying her and when she rejected him again, he felt relief. I’m not making this up. Everything it’s in the books!!! Like seriously.

Also can we all remember that Jo wasn’t Laurie’s first heartbreak.

Jo herself , talks about how he has dated so many ladies before and so it’s the case when he reunited with Amy in Europe, she assumes he’s heartbroken but not for Jo. Which means she is used to seeing him heartbroken, she actually said that to herself. She’s actually surprised when he tells her the woman in question is Jo. All that means that He wasn’t exclusive thinking of Jo while he grow up.

She was his childhood crush and it makes sense why he though of her when the moment of marrying got closer.

He would have probably regretted doing so because just like what happened with his opera, he would have ended up finding her annoying because, believe me they were not alike like y’all like to think.

Laurie liked to socialize and have fun and the fancy things. He didn’t turned up to them because of Jo’ s rejection. He liked that life before all that, and that’s the reason when he proposes to Jo he says something like he went to school and changed for her because she hates those things, even the ones that aren’t parties like in that chapter when she goes with Amy to visit some of their neighbors.

Soon or later Laurie would have been miserable in that marriage because unless when they were kids and hide in their plays, now adults they couldn’t do so. So else, Jo learned to be more social or else Laurie learned to not be so. Either way they will be miserable because that’s not who they are.

That’s for the hand of his feelings towards Jo. But what about Amy? Did he really loved her? Let’s see. Ok. I already say about Laurie’s love life and how he likes to flirt. Something I always find upsetting, it’s how in movies, they like to portray how flirty was Laurie with Jo but what about Amy? What about Amy?

Forgive me if I’m wrong but I think one of the first scenes we have of Laurie being adult, it’s him saying hi to all the sisters. Each one a particular way; which very much represents his real relationship with all of them. He says hi to Meg with respect, he says hi to Beth with sweetness, to jo like she was his brother and what does he says to Amy? What does he says to Amy?!! “Amy, way too beautiful to not being married already” and later we find out it’s not the first time he says things like that to her; because when Jo it’s thinking Beth has feelings for Laurie and she ask herself what might be Laurie’s feelings, she admits that he likes to flirt with her (Jo) and Amy all the time. All the time!!!And excuse me If I scream this to you but HOW IS IT THAT THE TWO WOMEN HE LIKED TO FLIRT ARE THE ONES HE ENDED ASKING MARRIAGE AND Y’all COME TO ME AND SAY HE DIDN’T LOVE AMY!!!! LIKE HOW!!! Y’ALL ACTING LIKE HE NEVER NOTICE HER AND HE DID!!!

Sorry lmao but I just can’t with the logic of some of you.

And yes, we see this flirting in many chapters, we even have Laurie jealous of one of Amy’s pretenders. This is presented as a brother jealousy and I bet for Laurie in his head was like that but was it really? This alone requires an analysis that I might or might not do later.

There’s also this iconic moment when he sees her playing with aunt March’s dresses. He could have knotted but he didn’t. He stayed there watching her act up like she was some royal princess. I mean dude...

and can i talk about how he seconds her in everything her family makes her feel ashamed. He says hi and goodbye to her with courtesy just to her because he knows she loves those kind of things. When she wanted to make her testament, did he laugh of it?

No, he sits down and reads the whole thing with the serious tone that Amy herself gave to the matter. And I could keep bringing moments but I’m going to jump to the future. When Beth dies, he choose to go to Amy and don’t come to me saying “but it was because Jo asked him to” please, slap yourself at your mouth.

I can’t give my soul and more to affirm, if Laurie still saw Jo with romantic eyes he would have go automatically to Jo, not only because he knew Jo was the closest to Beth but because he himself was close to Beth because she was “his favorite”.

But he didn’t. Actually the book is a little bit harsh about it because the first thing he thinks when he gets the news of Beth’s death, is Amy. He thinks in how heartbroken she must be. Why not to think in Jo? Like I said, she was the closest to Beth but did he cares? No. All he thinks is Amy.

And like it wasn’t enough they didn’t return to home immediately. They Spent a few months there and not exactly crying. I bet Amy cried for time to time but Laurie? He’s only worry was loving her. And he only gets the clue of his selfishness after they return and he talks to Jo and he sees how sad she is for her sister and apologized to her.

But whatever he didn’t love Amy.

Now, in that same scene, Laurie says and acts so in love and proud of Amy that my fingers will hurt analyzing word to word but I will talk about one particularly because it resumes everything I’ve been saying. When Laurie is talking to Jo he says something like : “I TRIED TO LOVE YOU BOTH EQUALLY but I couldn’t And when I saw her (Amy) again in Switzerland, everything was clear. I love you like like a sister...” Do I need to explain this? Or y’all forgot about this intentionally ? Or did y’all thought he was joking or what? Because it’s so clear. It wasn’t a forced thing. The only forced thing was him refusing to admit he didn’t love Jo.

There’s also another moment when he says that if he would have waited, he would gotten to the same results; many people had assumed this is about him getting over his crush for Jo but this also speaks about his feelings for Amy. If he would have waited a little bit more, he would have realized that his way of being with her was something more. Not a playful thing but a real one. He staying with her a whole month when he was planned to be just for a few days, BEFORE of his realization of his romantic feelings for her; he running with all his energy to tell Amy her sister was okay and her mother was at home when he could have waited to the next morning... all are little proofs that indeed that statement it’s true.

Anyways, this question alone ended up being larger than I thought, and still I hasn’t answered completely, so I’m force to do other parts of this topic.

[ruminantminds]

me, my dream, my desire, how it's killing me, like i laugh at it.

SIOBHAN BLAKE ( SHE / THEY ) is a NON-BINARY FORTY * year old TOWN MAYOR who has been living in Moorbrooke for THEIR ENTIRE LIFE. Right now, they are currently residing in ELMSETT GREEN. It has been said that they look suspiciously like ROSAMUND PIKE and if they had to choose a song to describe themselves, they would choose VOILA by BARBARA PRAVI.

                 * they were originally forty-one on the app but after working out the birth chart i have decided their forty-first birthday is the fourth of june ! just in case you want to plan birthday things for her <3

mun introduction ;

hi everyone ! i’m shannon, i’m a non-binary autistic lesbian, i’m twenty-one && i never fucking learned how to sleep ! 

BASICS —

NAME: siobhan adrienne louisa blake.

AGE: forty.

GENDER: non-binary.

BIRTH DATE: fourth of june, nineteen-eighty.

BIRTH PLACE: moorbrooke, maine, usa.

SEXUALITY: lesbian.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: married to alante patterson.

ZODIAC: gemini sun, aquarius moon, libra rising.

MBTI: enfp-a.

ENNEAGRAM: four, with a three wing.

HOGWARTS HOUSE: hufflepuff. 

THEME SONG: voila by barbara pravi.

FAVOURITE SONG: no plan by hozier.

OCCUPATION: mayor of moorbrooke ( 2020 - present. )

PAST CAREERS: english teacher at moorbrooke high school ( 2004 - 2020. )

EDUCATION: bachelor’s degree in literature at yale university, the only period of time they’ve spent not living in moorbrooke. 

DREAM JOB: senator for maine.

PARENTS: ciara & severin blake ( deceased. )

SIBLINGS: none.

SPOUSE: alante patterson ( m. 2015 ; together since )

PETS: two cats, vita && virginia.

PREDOMINANT TRAITS: wholesome, compassionate, ambitious, unconventional, humanitarian, self-critical, discerning, sociable, curious.

BACKSTORY —

apart from a few years at yale, siobhan has never lived away from moorbrooke. it’s where she was born, it’s where they were raised, it’s the place where she feels most at home. it’s filled with the people who watched them evolve into the who they now confidently are. but growing up with parents with massive expectations was never easy. 

because while they moved from new york, severin blake’s old money attitude never left him behind. 

( tw: fertility struggles ) and with old money, conservativism often follows. this is no exception. siobhan spent most of their childhood trying to be the golden child their parents wanted, even when it felt wrong. hopeful that some other sibling would come to take some of the weight off their shoulders, it never came to fruition, and she was their only child. severin blake — french-american businessman’s — only legacy.

siobhan was always more compassionate than their parents. when new people came to the town, she would always try to offer them a leg-up, no matter who they were, why they had come, or how long they were planning to stay. they had no issue playing chameleon to make others comfortable: wasn’t that what she’d always done, regardless? 

this rang true when alante patterson came to town. a few years younger than her, split from her siblings in the foster system, it just made sense for siobhan to try to be the other girl’s constant. the beginning of a close relationship that still runs stronger than ever, thirty years later. 

alante was always refreshingly honest, and always made siobhan feel safe to be . . . themselves, even if they were pretending to everyone else.

siobhan’s chameleonic tendencies made them highly popular as a teenager, her parents’ pride and joy, but the latter half began to fail when siobhan began to understand — began being operative, as it was a process that took them many years — their curiosity about their sexuality and gender. this relationship, and her parents’ desire for them to hide this evolving part of themselves, was a behind-closed-doors battle which led to anxiety & depression. 

a vicious cycle, because the attitude to mental health on severin’s part was also quite . . . medieval, and ciara certainly never intervened to stop him. 

( the blakes had always been protestant, though siobhan was reluctant to take part in any acknowledgement of such. siobhan has considered themselves agnostic since the age of thirteen, though she supports her wife in her faith as much as she can. )

siobhan came out when she went to yale at the age of eighteen, and her experience had been mixed. college took her away from her friends, estranging them from their high school friends and temporarily moving away from alante. when they returned from college studies and took up a job as an english teacher at the local highschool, her best friend was . . . married. 

which made feelings that began to blossom particularly problematic. especially when over the years that followed, no matter how hard they tried to let it go, those feelings persisted. and — eventually — became an affair so passionate that alante left her husband for siobhan some thirteen years ago. 

their relationship with alante is what made them truly decide to — and make them able to — exist fully as themselves. who they wanted to be. so now, they’re not quite as chameleonic, but she’s endearing to the people who are truly interested in her and that’s all that matters, isn’t it? ( isn’t it? they’re still learning, though they pretend the self-doubt is entirely gone. )

this part of their town-iconic relationship is not public knowledge, and thankfully never came to siobhan’s parents’ knowledge before their deaths five and seven years ago.

siobhan and alante married as soon as possible in 2015, but siobhan always had a dream of washington politics, buried for many years because the political climate of their youth would never take them. now... it’s possible, but alante likes this life, this town, their two cats, and wants to have children. 

as a compromise, siobhan ran for mayor of moorbrooke this recent cycle, and won. but here’s the kicker: will it be enough for them?

CONNECTIONS —

family: while she has no siblings, she does have cousins on ciara’s side, so if you’re interested in that then feel free to let me know & we’ll explore it! i love a good family tree, especially in town rps where i imagine it a bit more interconnected like broadchurch !

family-esque: if your muse has been living in moorbrooke a while, it’s likely siobhan knows them quite or very well. you know those people you call your aunt/uncle out of respect because they’ve been friends with your family as long as you can remember? a bit like that! it’s also a habit because siobhan has been . . . distant from her own family since she was a teenager. they never outright disowned them for what they were calling their ‘ ideas ’ — i.e. being non-gender conforming & lesbian — but their disapproval was... clear enough. she doesn’t want anyone else to feel like they’re without support. 

therapist friend: the thing about siobhan is that they are the ceo of telling other people to look after their mental health while letting their own degrade. ( see: she can’t help taking on other people’s problems & wanting to solve them. )

high school it squad: yes, this is my not-so-subtle way of pleading for more older muses here. these people were siobhan’s friends when they were trying to be who everyone wanted them to be, not who she herself wanted to be ; they were the popular clique, and she adjusted herself as necessary to ‘ ringlead ’ them. i’m thinking they split up when they all went to college, and the rest of them have only just come back to town. the siobhan blake they’re going to meet is . . . very different than the one they once knew. someone who is now comfortable ( at last ) unapologetically in their own skin.

ex-student: if your muse was in high school in moorbrooke anywhere during their tenure it’s likely that siobhan could have taught them! she was the emotional support english teacher. sapphics, you know what i am talking about. 

ingenue: someone interested in politics who siobhan is sharing their passion with !

neighbours: anyone who lives in elmsett court, who wants to live next to moorbrooke’s favourite sapphic it couple? it comes with invitations to dinner and two adventuring cats called vita & virginia that they might have to retrieve from your house.

TAKEN CONNECTIONS

confidante: the only person, aside from alante, who knows the truth. that siobhan and alante’s relationship first ignited in a blazing, letter-ridden extramarital affair, eventually resulting in alante leaving her husband all those years ago. the person siobhan confides her worries in, sometimes. [ alec barlowe. ] 

OTHER TRIVIA

owns a motorbike.

they can still write in anne lister code from letters to alante.

of course, she is a democrat. we do not fuck with republicans here.

watches vita and virginia three times in your average week.

has an eclectic music taste, but frequents the record store because there’s nothing like vinyl. 

( yes, they have hozier on vinyl. )

will only drink white wine. don’t ask them why. they don’t know. 

would have zero wardrobe sense if it wasn’t for alante. money just doesn’t equal style.

the only social network she knows how to use is twitter. please, someone, teach them how to use instagram. bestie needs a social media guru because the people who run the rest of her platforms don’t get it, either.

allergic to banana. but eats it anyway for the mouth tingles.

has kept a diary religiously since the age of twelve.

[noona-clock]

Look After You

Genre: Regency!AU/Single Parent!AU

Pairing: Choi Minho x You (Female Reader)

Warnings: Mentions of death and some mature themes

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 | Words: 2,642

“Wow,” Caroline breathed, her nose pressed to the window of the carriage as her breath fogged up the glass. 

Your eldest daughter, now just about six, had slid away from you to the other end of the bench seat when she’d seen the large manor home come into view. She lived in a rather vast estate house herself, so it’s not like she’d never seen a house of that size before, but... When you saw the grand Jacobean-style architecture, all the columns and parapets and round-arch arcades, you were a bit breathless, as well.

“Let me see, Mama!” your youngest, Louisa, cried as she scrambled off your lap to slide over to the other window. The three-year-old rose up on her knees, placing her hands on the glass on either side of her small face and let out a very amazed-sounding gasp.

“It’s a beautiful house, isn’t it, darlings?” you remarked with a grin, keeping a close eye on both of them in case the carriage rolled over a particularly bumpy rock and knocked them off their seats.

“This is where Aunt Abigail is getting married?” Caroline asked, her eyes still glued to the mansion in the distance.

“It is,” you confirmed. “Her husband-to-be lives here. Well, sometimes. He has a house in London, too, but this house is much bigger and better for a large wedding.”

“And prettier,” Louisa added.

It was quite true. The grandiose manor was surrounded by acres and acres of rolling hills and green pastures and lush farmland and colorful gardens. As you had admitted to yourself just moments ago, it was absolutely breathtaking.

In fact, it was so breathtaking you were beginning to feel a knot of emotion forming in your throat.

...Or maybe that was the fact you were thinking about your younger sister getting married.

You were happy for her, of course. More than happy. She’d found true love and happiness in her fiancé, Onew. It didn’t matter that he was a Duke; Abigail had met him at a London ball and fallen madly in love -- and he with her. What was there to not be happy about?

...Okay, there was something. A little something to not be happy about.

Your younger sister getting married reminded you that you no longer were. Married, that is.

You had been, of course; you had two daughters, after all. It’s just that your husband had passed away over two years ago; he’d been ill for most of his life, and he had succumbed to it before he’d even turned thirty. Before your eldest daughter had even turned four and your youngest had even turned one.

Life can be so cruel sometimes.

You shook your head softly, mentally reminding yourself not to get too lost in your own grief because this was a happy occasion! Your sister was getting married, and she was as blissful as you’d ever seen her.

Plus, two years was enough time to not be totally overcome by your loss. You were out of the mourning period and had been for quite some time. You had your daughters to look after. And, for now, you had your family to look after you.

Caroline and Louisa continued to ooh and ahh and squeal as the carriage trundled ever closer to the manor home.

“Look, Mama!” Caroline gasped, glancing at you over her shoulder. “It’s Aunt Abigail! She’s waiting outside for us!”

Now it was your turn to slide down the bench toward the window. You picked up Louisa and set her on your lap again, craning your neck to peer out the window above Caroline.

Sure enough, there was your younger sister, jumping up and down and waving her arms about. She then stopped, turning toward her husband-to-be standing behind her and grasping his arm in excitement.

You could see from here that he smiled down at her, a warm and loving smile full of adoration.

And, oh, were you glad. Your sister was very dear to you; there was no way you could have let her marry a man who loved her less than Onew did.

The carriage conveying your mother, father, and two younger brothers was ambling along in front of you, and you watched as it slowed to a stop in front of the manor’s main entrance, where Abigail and Onew were waiting. Your driver was not far behind, and as soon as the footman opened the door, your girls jumped down and ran to greet their favorite aunt (their only aunt - while you had only one sister, you had four brothers. Choosing a favorite uncle was always a challenge for Caroline and Louisa, for they all spoiled them considerably).

“Hello, my dearest ones!” you heard Abigail cry, and you alighted from the carriage just in time to see her scoop them into her arms and hug them tightly. “Are you excited to be here? Isn’t this house grand and miraculous?”

“Hello, darling,” you heard a deep voice murmur next to you. 

A small smile immediately tugged at your lips as you felt your father’s hand come to rest in-between your shoulder blades.

“Papa,” you greeted after turning your head to look at him.

“How was your journey?” he asked with a slightly furrowed brow.

“It was the same as yours,” you chuckled. “We all came from the same place, remember?”

After your husband had died, your family had insisted upon moving you back to the estate where you grew up, where your parents and two younger brothers still lived.

Your husband had been a Viscount, but since you had not produced a male heir, his younger cousin inherited the title and everything which went along with it -- including your house. You’d lost everything, even your husband, in the blink of an eye.

You enjoyed living with your family, of course. Caroline and Louisa did, too -- probably more than you since their uncles and grandparents doted on them so.

But you’d had a taste of independent living while you’d been married. You’d had a taste of running your own home and being a Viscountess with duties and responsibilities. So, living back at home with your family, feeling like you had to obey your parents’ rules... it felt constricting at times.

The new Viscount had just recently made you a very generous offer, though, one which you knew you would have to accept: you and your daughters could live in one of the farmhouses located on his country estate, one much like Onew’s, without having to pay rent or do any actual farm labor.

You hadn’t told anyone about it, though; you were planning on waiting until after the wedding to break the news.

After everyone had greeted and hugged each other, Onew invited your family inside, even taking Caroline and Louisa by the hand and walking in with them.

The breathlessness you’d experienced in the carriage upon seeing just the outside of the manor returned in full force when you stepped inside the manor. It was more luxurious and grand than any home you’d been to, including your own. Your father was a Duke, the same as Onew, but even his family estate didn’t quite measure up to this.

Onew began leading your family in a tour of the house, though he assured you he wouldn’t take you into every room. There had to be at least two hundred of them, so a full tour would take the whole day!

He showed you the sitting room, the parlor, the drawing room, the library, the dining room, and the study. When you reached the main staircase, you heard your sister’s delighted voice call out a name.

“Minho!”

You had just been distracted by an enormous, beautiful painting hung up in the hall, but the sound of that name made your gaze snap to attention.

Minho.

You had completely forgotten.

Your eyes landed on a tall but muscular frame, his long legs trotting down the stairs in front of you. But then his smile caught your eye, and you nearly fall back onto the floor. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d seen a grin so bright and friendly, a face so handsome...

Besides that of your husband’s, of course.

Obviously.

The excitement of seeing your sister had totally overshadowed the fact that Minho, your late husband’s former best friend from boarding school, was Onew’s younger brother. You had never met him before since he and your husband had fallen out of touch after graduating onto university, but you had been friends with your husband since childhood. He had told you about his boarding school adventures with Minho in his letters, so you knew all about him. 

Rather, you knew all about him as an adolescent.

You didn’t know much about him as an adult... though, you’d heard things.

Lots of things.

And none of them were very good.

If the society rumors were true, the death of the former Duke and Duchess (Minho and Onew’s parents) had taken quite a toll of him. He had been in University at the time, and he had dropped out soon afterward. He’d -- allegedly -- made his way to London where he’d spent every night drunk, gambling, and in the arms of a new woman.

...At least, that’s what you’d heard.

Whether or not it was actually true remained to be seen.

Looking at his face, you would find it hard to believe he hadn’t been in the arms of a new woman every night.

And now, of course, your cheeks were warming just thinking about that.

“This is my younger brother, Minho,” Onew introduced as Minho reached the bottom of the stairs. “This is Abigail’s... entire family, pretty much. Except for Gabriel and Jacob, whom you met when they arrived with their families yesterday.”

Ah, that’s right! Your two older brothers were already here; you hadn’t seen them in months since they both had their own wives and children. Caroline and Louisa would certainly be pleased to see their cousins.

“Very pleased to meet you,” Minho responded as he reached out to shake your father’s hand.

And then, quite unexpectedly, Minho turned to you, pointing a finger and quirking an eyebrow at you. “I know you.”

Your head jerked back slightly in surprise, and everyone standing in the hall turned to look at you.

“You -- you do?”

“Well, I know -- knew -- your husband.”

To be frank, you were quite amazed he remembered.

“Ah, yes,” you replied with a breathless chuckle. “Yes, I believe you did.”

It looked as though he were about to step up to you, maybe take hold of your hand and clutch it to his chest as a show of sympathy. But your eldest interrupted before he had the chance.

“You knew my Papa?” Caroline asked in a small voice, her little eyebrows raised.

Minho’s own eyebrows raised, and he turned away from you to face your daughter.

You were about to intervene and scold Caroline for being impolite, but Minho almost immediately crouched down to be face-to-face with her. He reached out and took her hand from Onew’s, holding it delicately.

“Yes, I did,” he answered gently. “We went to school together when we were younger. I didn’t know he had a daughter.”

Caroline simply nodded, and you saw her cheeks growing pink.

“What’s your name?” Minho asked.

“Caroline,” your daughter replied with a nod. And then she nodded her head toward her younger sister. “And that’s Louisa.”

Minho looked over to Louisa, and you heard the grin in his voice when he said, “He has two daughters?”

Louisa nodded shyly before stepping behind Onew’s legs.

“She’s scared of new people,” Caroline explained in her typical know-it-all voice.

“Am not!” Louisa retorted with a deep frown.

“Are too!”

“Am not!”

Oh, boy. What a lovely first impression your daughters were making on Minho.

“Girls, please --” you began, taking a step toward them.

But then Minho quickly picked Caroline up, hoisting her on his waist and standing up. “If she’s shy, then we won’t bother her,” he said. “Would you like to go see the playroom?”

Caroline gasped, suddenly clutching onto Minho’s neck and nodding vigorously.

“But I want to go, too!” Louisa piped in. She then looked over at you, and you took it as your cue to get involved.

“Come, my darling,” you said softly, stepping over there and taking her hand. “Let’s go with them. We’ll probably find your cousins up there.”

“Are those little mongrels your cousins?” Minho asked teasingly.

Of course, all the way up to the playroom on the second floor, Caroline and Louisa giggled with delight at Minho calling their cousins ‘mongrels.’ By the time you and Minho reached the door, they were scrambling to get down and share the news with Gabriel’s three sons and Jacob’s son and daughter, all under the age of ten.

“Thank you, My Lord,” you murmured after Caroline and Louisa dashed into the room yelling their cousins’ names.

“Oh, it was my pleasure,” he replied with a charming grin.

“No, truly,” you urged. “It was very kind of you to be so nice to my girls. I know it’s been years since you even talked to my husband -- late husband.”

Minho turned slightly toward you, though he still stayed a proper distance away from you. “I was so very sorry to hear about his untimely passing,” he said quietly. “I... At that moment, I regretted immensely not ever reaching back out to him or going to your wedding or --”

“There’s nothing can be done now,” you reminded him gently, feeling your brow furrow.

“Right, of course,” Minho said, a forced smile tugging at his lips. “Please do accept my condolences and sincerest sympathies.”

You nodded and dipped down into a small curtsy. “Thank you, My Lord. They are much appreciated.”

Minho suddenly jumped to attention and turned toward you fully, extending his hand out to you. “I am so sorry, we have not even properly met.”

You somewhat cautiously slid your hand into his, and he bowed his head over it before saying, “I’m Minho. Please, you can call me by name if you’d like since we’ve indirectly known each other for years.”

“Nice to finally meet you, My Lord,” you replied, purposely not using his first name. You were not so bold as to do that. “I am Y/N, though you may call me Miss Y/L/N or My Lady.” Your father was a Duke, so you still had that title, at least.

Minho’s lips quirked into an amused smirk as if to say ‘All right, I get it.’ 

“Yes, M’lady,” he murmured. “It is quite a pleasure to meet you. I heard so much about you at boarding school.”

“Did you?” you asked with some embarrassment.

Minho nodded, looking a bit too pleased with himself. “He read most of your letters out loud and talked about you constantly.”

Oh, it hurt your heart to hear that.

And, much to your chagrin, you felt your eyes fill with tears.

“Did he?” you asked, your lips pulling into a watery grin.

“He did,” Minho confirmed with a very warm and compassionate expression on his face, in his eyes. “I always wanted to meet you. It took a while, but... I’m glad I finally did.”

Well.

Considering the rumors about his past, you weren’t entirely sure what to think about his feelings toward meeting you, but...

You would hold off judgment. For now.

Just thinking about the way he crouched down to speak to Caroline, how he picked her up with no hesitation, how he offered to show your girls to the playroom...

It was the first time your heart had melted - just a little - since your late husband’s death had frozen it.

That had to account for something.

Part 2

[itsrogerbaelor-blog]

Ama educates

CHARACTERS part 1

so, I have made a list of people who were close to Queen, these people are frequently mentioned in fandom discourse and this is basically descriptions of them that might make it easier for new fans to understand older fans discourse and references. Bolded names are very important, but other than that they are not in any particular order. There is another part coming out tonight!

Jim Hutton

Jim was Freddie’s last long term relationship and stayed with him until his death. In 1990, a year before Freddie’s death, he found out he was also HIV positive, first he decided to not tell Freddie as he felt that he already had enough on his plate, but he eventually found out about the results. Jim didn’t die of aids though, he died of cancer in 2010.

Jim described himself as the polar opposite of Freddie. Freddie was flamboyance personified, while Jim was just his silent gardener and described himself as lacking in character. (though I get the impression that he was a very sweet man!)

His relationship with Mary Austin (Freddie’s ex girlfriend and later one of his closest friends) was good in the first few years of Freddie’s and Jim’s relationship. However, Freddie’s illness obviously damaged it as she had him evicted from Garden Lodge (Freddie and Jim’s house) shortly after Freddie’s funeral. The reason? who knows. Jim himself thought it was due to jealousy. Freddie left him with 500 000 £ and he left Mary with Garden Lodge and the rest of his money.

Mary Austin

So, a lot of people have very different opinions about Mary. Mary actually dated Brian for a while, and it was he who introduced her to Freddie and the rest of the guys. Freddie asked her out and they eventually moved in together, and they lived together for seven years. Once again, just like Jim, Mary was very shy and quiet. Freddie obviously had a type! Freddie was very open about his love for Mary, as he said that she was the only person he ever loved. Their romantic relationship eventually ended when Freddie had been sneaking out to meet other men, so they broke up.

But they kept being close friends, she actually toured with Queen and there is a clip of her in the concert movie ”Queen in Budapest” where she is standing with Freddie and he’s practicing a hungarian song that he was going to perform during the concert.

Mary has done some things that makes her.... not so popular with the fandom. She snubbed Jim, and not long ago she decided to remove all of the flowers and cards and everything that fans leave at a particular spot in front of Garden Lodge. I admit, I prefer Jim over her though I try to remember that Freddie loved the both of them and I doubt he would have liked someone who trashtalked either of them.

Peter Freestone (”Phoebe”)

ok so Phoebe is one of my favourite bitches in the Queen sphere!! He was Freddie’s personal assistent and regularly spills the tea on queen and all the shit they got up to, also, like I’ve said before, he was the Mom Friend.

Freddie loved giving out nicknames, often female (though he called three different people in his catering staff ”not david”) he called himself Melina, Brian was Maggie, Roger was Liz and John Belicia, and so Peter was given the name ”Phoebe”. Like I said, he loves talking about Freddie and he has even got an ”ask phoebe” page on freddiemercury.com. basically he is a fandom protector and a reliable bitch

I really recommend reading his blog!

this is the kinda trivial shit he talks about and i am l i v i n g for it

basically bless him

Paul Prenter

So, Paul Prenter is generally regarded as a bad character and some blame him for Freddie catching HIV as he pretty much led Freddie into that life. I don’t know if you can blame all of that on him, but I still dislike him very much. He was Freddie’s personal manager, also his fuck buddy basically - and wingman. Freddie’s other friends did NOT like Prenter at all. Together they lived a very promiscuous and damaging life and - this is the worst part - he sold Freddie out to the press for 32 000£. He told them that Freddie had aids. Obviously, Freddie never forgave him. Prenter also had aids, and he died before Freddie. Basically, screw Paul Prenter.

Chrissie May

Brian’s first wife. They were married from 1974 until 1988 and had three children together, Emily, Louisa and Jimmy (James). Their marriage ended brutally in 1988 as Brian had been meeting actress Anita Dobson and when it got out to the press it got really infected and as it was around the time Freddie’s health was getting real bad, all of that contributed to Brian becoming really depressed. suicidal even. On The Miracle from 1989 there is a track called Scandal, written by Bri that is about this divorce but also, it also fits in with Freddie’s situation at the time when the press were hounding him about the AIDS rumours.

brian and chrissie

Anita Dobson

An actress and also the love of Brian’s life. They met in 1988 and tried to keep their relationship secret at first but as I already said, it got out and their relationship got off to a rocky start.

A few years into their relationship, they were actually involved in yet another cheating scandal. Brian had been caught in an affair with his assistent (I think?) Julie Glover. Anita found racy texts adressed to Glover on his phone and even forwarded them to Glover’s husband. Anita was furious and made Brian choose between them both; he begged for Anita’s forgiveness and they got back together. Glover lost her marriage though. Since then, Brian seems to have learned to keep his dick in check but it is clear that women is a weakness for him.

Anita had described her relationship with his children as ”difficult”.

Debbie Leng

Roger’s second wife. They met on the set to one of his solo videos, in 1987. She also appeared in the LOVELY ”breakthru” video from The Miracle album (1989)

She also starred alongside Roger in the infamous Sex tape, that fans have searched for for yeeeaaars. We’re not likely to find it though, and I wouldn’t watch it even if I could.

She and Roger had three kids: Tiger Lily, Rufus (who is a drummer and tours with Queen) and Lola

Stay tuned for the next part coming out in an hour 🌝

[rivervixen327]

The Slayer

Summary ↓

Six months ago Stevie Hoffman was just your regular highschool student, above average grades, head cheerleader, class president and the president of the year book committee. But all that changed the day she turned sixteen, that day the wool had been ripped from her eye's and suddenly she was thrust into the world of the supernatural. A world she had to singlehandedly keep at bay, along with her over barring Watcher at her side ,all while she tried to keep her identity a secret.  unfortunately things are about to get a whole lot more complicated when Thaddeus greystone shows up, with information about the big bad apocalyptic Ark Angel who just rolled into town looking for trouble. and a secret, one that involves Stevie Hoffman.

Characters ↓

Thaddeus greystone - " I didn't choose to be this way, a monster."

Stevie Hoffman - "Go to hell, the council doesn't get to decide who I love"

Louisa Corns - " I really do hate that bitch"

Gregory Cerberus - "Wow they really don't make em how they used, huh"

Kathy Davenport - " wait let me get this straight, you're vampire slayer and my boyfriend is the wolf man"

Mickey st'john- "sorry my favourite time of the is coming up"

Pete Hoffman- "Back off dad, you screwed up way before you cheated on mum"

Tory Rivera - " So can he like, ya know smell you're period"

Professor Lionel Coleman- " I'm her Watcher it's my duty to train her, to protect her, it's not yours"

Mrs Mary Hoffman - "Hunny I know you don't want to talk right now, but when your ready my doors open"

Cameron Fields- "Look babe I've been trying to get in good with her click, but the witchy girl is making Impossible"

Sara Davidson - "Hmm, she's different to the others, why?"

Angela Thomas - " So you're the slayer, smaller than I thought you'd be"

Delilah Spence - " Long time no see, tell me Thaddeus how is immortality treating you"

Ezekiel - " You think you have the power to beat me little girl, I am power"

Jedediah - " We were friends once Thaddeus, perhaps one day we shall be again "

Mathias - " Come home Brother our father misses you greatly"

Philip Hoffman - " Hey she's my daughter too, I deserve to know what the fuck is going on with her"

Hey so I'll post the prologue on Tumblr if you want to read but don't have a wattpad account.

_________prologue↓_________

Prologue

1

Ezekiel's feet pounded the gravel flooring of Paris, the night air thick as he chased down his latest prey, the slayer. He had kill meny in his time since his fall from heaven, this one would mean just as little as the rest. The slayer rounded the corner into a pretty french graveyard, away from the prying eyes of the mortal folk.  personally he couldn't care less if the mundanes saw what really lurked in the night, but she was a slayer and very good one, one who had evaded him and his clan for years, so yes it made sense that even now as her death was approaching she kept to slayer code.

The slayer stood rooted in her spot, watching as two more men appeared from the crevices of the graveyard. She knew in that moment that her death was near, but she wasn't scared to die. For a slayer her life had been long, most don't make passed the test. So yes while she was only 43 the slayer knew she had lived a long Life, one in which she was a hero to meny. Going out in Paris seemed beautiful to her, the tower in view it's light's glistening, as the Ark Angel and his followers surrounded her. The Slayer knew what he wanted, but she wouldn't give up a fellow sister, especially one as significant as she would become.  For centuries the council had told it's warriors of one who would have the power to end the raign of Ezekiel. That the Slayer would have the power of immortality, though it was an impossible task it was a task each was Given, to understand what the prophecy ment by immortality. And for centuries no one had figured this out, until now, until this moment now she the middle aged women stared her death in the eye's she understood the prophecy.

In her minds eyes she could see the next warrior, the girl was young much like she used to be. But she also happened to be completely untrained, though to the slayer perhaps this was a good thing. The girl would be surprise to Ezekiel and his band of merry men, he wouldn't be expecting the next warrior to be small and untrained knowing nothing of the supernatural world. But the Slayer knew this girl would be well protected, with friends like she had. With the Watcher who would soon be chosen to prepare her for the battles ahead, one who would love the her like a father loves his daughter. Surely the council would frown upon such a thing, but it was something out if their control. And she had him.

He was a surprise to the women at first, but now visions had become clear, In Death that often happens, now she could see the Slayer clearly and she knew the girl needed him. There had been a Reason her first date six months ago had been such a chaotic disaster, it was the same reason all the other dates had ended the same way. It was clear now, she was destined to be with him, it was as though they're Union was written in the star's. she was Reason why he had left his master's side over a thousand years ago. She was Reason why he only killed when he needed to, the universe was trying to tell him something. It had become clearer to women now as her death approached, the shadows in her vision's had been him. He was forever watching her, making sure she was Safe. He had loved her since the beginning of his immortal life. Now the current slayer for however long she had left knew this would be hard for the pair of fated lovers, it was forbidden but she knew somehow in the end it would work out. She knew the slayer would be safe and protected by all around her that cared for her. And she knew that the girl would protect them too.

Ezekiel finally came into view, the Slayer shut of her minds eye, her concentration now of the Ark Angel and his followers coming forwards  from the Shadows. The women was now surrounded but she had no fear of death, it was a natural part of life.

The women dropped her stakes, using her now free hands to push back she knoted blonde locks from her face.

"Arh, i see the women has come to her senses, tell my slayer what do you know of the prophecy" the man's voice was thick with gravel, his yellow eyes hooded as  they remained trained on the Slayer.

"I'll never tell you" spat the women, in a flash Mathias had pinned one arm across the blondes chest, while his free hand tangled itself into her hair, pulling back her head. The warm flesh of her neck exposed.

"You are brave, for a dead women,  aren't you ?" The ark angel closer now, so close he could hear the blood pumping in her veins. She wasn't stupid, she knew he was trying to intimidate her but it wouldn't work she wouldn't give the young girl up.

"Nothing I'll tell you nothing" Ezekiel growled like a primitive animal, before taking a few strides backwards.

"Go ahead boys, but remember to share." Within a blink of a eye, the slayer felt two pairs sharp teeth sink into either side of her neck. Both vampire's lapping up the blood as sweet as nectar. The older man forced his children to stop when he saw the women wanting to speak.

"STOP, she wants to speak." Both vampire reluctantly realised the women allowing her sputter out her last words.

"You'll never beat him, you Ezekiel of Lazarus will never beat him, you are not strong enough."

"Who, is this you speak of, girl answer me" the man's face was a mixture of confusion and desperation, to know who the Slayer spoke of.

"Someone you thought was long dead, you're Greatest creation," with those words the women was dead.

Ezekiel was confused, In his long raign on this earth he had turned meny and meny of them he considered his greatest creation. But through the ages they had all died, well those except Mathias and jedediah. On some level he knew that the pair were living because of him, they were faithful to him, to cause and of course he knew why. He had found jedediah two thousand years ago dying, the blood had been two hard to resist and soon enough he was drained of the sticky red liquid. At the time his first turn had convinced Ezekiel to bring the man back and of course he did. Matthias was different he was young compared to jedediah at only just a thousand. He and come looking for Ezekiel, evidently he found the the ark Angel in question, at the time he happened to be grieving the loss of his child. So he turned the young Man, his pathetic attempt to recreate his masterpiece.

"Father_father are you okay"

"No I think I have discovered something imperative, you're brother Jedediah may still in world after all". Ezekiel stated, the younger man froze taking a step backwards.

"Father it can not be, you would've felt his presence long ago, if he was still with the world you could feel him" Mathias spoke up licking the rest of the slayers blood from the corner of his lips. He had never met his master first creation but he had heard the story's, if they were true he was something beautiful but fearsome to be-hold.

"Perhaps, the distance of time has severed our connection, my son would've come home to me if I'd called, if he knew I was still living." Ezekiel frowned as a old wound had been opened.

"Father, maybe he did know and he simply didn't want to return to your side, that if what the girl said isn't true, father she could've lied" Jedediah said remembering those last few months before his blood brother disappeared, before the human had come with proof of his death. It had been trying times, his brother grew bored of being locked up like a child, he grew tired of the constant killing. The blood that followed them, how cruel they're father had become. How his eyes longed for more than blood and satisfaction the kill gave him. Jedediah knew his brother was capable of more, maybe evenlove if he found the right person. So he thought maybe his brother had planned that night, to escape and then disappear from the face of world.

"No my son would return to me, I know it" all eyes were on the Ark Angel as he spoke.

"Let's leave we have a Slayer to find"

2

It was late afternoon when Stevie Hoffman started on her way home, cheer practice had gone longer then expected, giving her less time to get ready for tonights party. Tonight her family and friends would be celebrating sixteen wonderful years with Stevie in the world. We'll all except her father, he would be seeing her on the weekend, since Mary and Philip got divorced the redhead saw her father less and less. Though she supposed it was natural he lived in California now and she still live in Willow falls, a small town just outside of Pennsylvania. But that didn't mean that Stevie didn't want him here for her sixteenth, but both her parents had assured their daughter it was for the best so Stevie dropped it.

The redhead decided to take a short cut through the cemetery, maybe she'd stop and see her grandparents graves before heading home. This was nothing out of ordinary Stevie often came by to see her grandparents, sometimes it help to talk to to them, if the day had been especially bad. And today had been, the boy who asked out had suddenly changed his mind and copped off with a blonde a year or so older than her.

This always happened to her, the redhead felt like she was destined to be lonely forever. Stevie continued down the gravel path to her family crypt, but from behind her the girl Heard a branch snapped under someone's feet. Now sure this could've been nothing but the redhead could've sworn she was alone. Turning Stevie saw nothing, so she shook it off and headed further down the track.

The girl however didn't get far because before long had been shoved to floor, with a man in his late twenties maybe early thirty's on top of her. The man's face was filled with rage, his eyes wide with hunger. He craned mouth down to the girls neck, but as his large fangs grazed Stevie's neck she brought her knee up to his groin, connecting it hard. The man tumbled a little to the side in pain, the girl shoved him the rest of way scrambling to her feet she ran.

The redhead ran as fast as converse clad feet would carry her, but she couldn't beat the man's speed. He up and like a flash had caught up to the girl. Stevie once again found her on floor, the man dragging her by the ankles. The gravel of the paving cutting her knees and hands. The girl some manage to break one leg free, kicking the man in the ankle he fell to the ground.

Stevie turned to leave but once again the man was her In a flash, the red was flat on her back. Fearing the worst, that he was going rape her. She turned her head, green eyes landing on a sharp wooden branch and in a instant the girl knew what to do. It was like every molecule woke up and told her what to do, seconds later Stevie plunged the wooden stick into the man's chest. Soon enough he was reduced to ash, his body had disappeared, as though he was never there.

From the corner stood a man holding a note pad and what looked to be a recording device. He looked impressed, but Stevie Hoffman stood tears welling up in her eyes and the realization of what she had just done. She and killed a man.

"Oh god I killed him, he's dead" the man frowned  and made his way over to his slayer.

"Miss Hoffman you need to calm down" he tried to Reason with the girl.

"No I killed someone, I just killed someone, he's dead what if he had a family" Stevie Hoffman's body trembled, where she now stood the stake still in her hands.

"Miss Hoffman, I need you calm down and listen to me. What you just killed wasn't human, he was a vampire and he was already dead" the man with note pad spoke getting closer to frightened redhead.

"Vampires aren't real,"

"Yes miss Hoffman they are and it's you're duty to protect the world against the creatures, you are the slayer" Stevie Hoffman let out a hystercial giggle before collapsing to the floor. The Watcher huffing as it suddenly became clear to him just how much help this girl was going to need.

Sighing professor Lionel Coleman collected his slayers belongings, and drove the unconscious girl home. He had spun some story of how he saw the girl being asulted by the cemetery, but had managed to to stop the assailant before anything to bad had happened. Stevie's mother had been greatfull that her daughter was brought home safely and thanked the man kindly. 

It was safe to say her sixteenth birthday hadn't turned out the way she expected and it turned out her life wouldn't be the same again. So much was coming and her Watcher just hoped she'd be ready when it did.

[kaimaciel]

My Favorite Books of 2018

The Archived  by Victoria Schwab

“Each body has a story to tell, a life seen in pictures only Librarians can read. The dead are called Histories, and the vast realm in which they rest is the Archive. Da first brought Mackenzie Bishop here four years ago, when she was twelve years old, frightened but determined to prove herself. Now Da is dead, and Mac has grown into what he once was: a ruthless Keeper, tasked with stopping often violent Histories from waking up and getting out. Because of her job, she lies to the people she loves, and she knows fear for what it is: a useful tool for staying alive. Being a Keeper isn't just dangerous—it's a constant reminder of those Mac has lost, Da's death was hard enough, but now that her little brother is gone too, Mac starts to wonder about the boundary between living and dying, sleeping and waking. In the Archive, the dead must never be disturbed. And yet, someone is deliberately altering Histories, erasing essential chapters. Unless Mac can piece together what remains, the Archive itself may crumble and fall.”

The Death of Mrs. Westaway by Ruth Ware

“On a day that begins like any other, Hal receives a mysterious letter bequeathing her a substantial inheritance. She realizes very quickly that the letter was sent to the wrong person—but also that the cold-reading skills she’s honed as a tarot card reader might help her claim the money. Soon, Hal finds herself at the funeral of the deceased…where it dawns on her that there is something very, very wrong about this strange situation and the inheritance at the center of it.”

Still Me (Me Before You #3) by Jojo Moyes

“Louisa Clark arrives in New York ready to start a new life, confident that she can embrace this new adventure and keep her relationship with Ambulance Sam alive across several thousand miles. She steps into the world of the superrich, working for Leonard Gopnik and his much younger second wife, Agnes. Lou is determined to get the most out of the experience and throws herself into her new job and New York life. As she begins to mix in New York high society, Lou meets Joshua Ryan, a man who brings with him a whisper of her past. Before long, Lou finds herself torn between Fifth Avenue where she works and the treasure-filled vintage clothing store where she actually feels at home. And when matters come to a head, she has to ask herself: Who is Louisa Clark? And how do you find the courage to follow your heart—wherever that may lead?”

Nine Perfect Strangers by Liane Moriarty

“Could ten days at a health resort really change you forever? In Liane Moriarty’s latest page-turner, nine perfect strangers are about to find out... Nine people gather at a remote health resort. Some are here to lose weight, some are here to get a reboot on life, some are here for reasons they can’t even admit to themselves. Amidst all of the luxury and pampering, the mindfulness and meditation, they know these ten days might involve some real work. But none of them could imagine just how challenging the next ten days are going to be. Frances Welty, the formerly best-selling romantic novelist, arrives at Tranquillum House nursing a bad back, a broken heart, and an exquisitely painful paper cut. She’s immediately intrigued by her fellow guests. Most of them don’t look to be in need of a health resort at all. But the person that intrigues her most is the strange and charismatic owner/director of Tranquillum House. Could this person really have the answers Frances didn’t even know she was seeking? Should Frances put aside her doubts and immerse herself in everything Tranquillum House has to offer – or should she run while she still can? It’s not long before every guest at Tranquillum House is asking exactly the same question.”

A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles

“On 21 June 1922 Count Alexander Rostov – recipient of the Order of Saint Andrew, member of the Jockey Club, Master of the Hunt – is escorted out of the Kremlin, across Red Square and through the elegant revolving doors of the Hotel Metropol. But instead of being taken to his usual suite, he is led to an attic room with a window the size of a chessboard. Deemed an unrepentant aristocrat by a Bolshevik tribunal, the Count has been sentenced to house arrest indefinitely. While Russia undergoes decades of tumultuous upheaval, the Count, stripped of the trappings that defined his life, is forced to question what makes us who we are. And with the assistance of a glamorous actress, a cantankerous chef and a very serious child, Rostov unexpectedly discovers a new understanding of both pleasure and purpose.”

Heart of Iron (Heart of Iron #1) by Ashley Poston

“Seventeen-year-old Ana is a scoundrel by nurture and an outlaw by nature. Found as a child drifting through space with a sentient android called D09, Ana was saved by a fearsome space captain and the grizzled crew she now calls family. But D09—one of the last remaining illegal Metals—has been glitching, and Ana will stop at nothing to find a way to fix him. Ana’s desperate effort to save D09 leads her on a quest to steal the coordinates to a lost ship that could offer all the answers. But at the last moment, a spoiled Ironblood boy beats Ana to her prize. He has his own reasons for taking the coordinates, and he doesn’t care what he’ll sacrifice to keep them. When everything goes wrong, she and the Ironblood end up as fugitives on the run. Now their entire kingdom is after them—and the coordinates—and not everyone wants them captured alive. What they find in a lost corner of the universe will change all their lives—and unearth dangerous secrets. But when a darkness from Ana’s past returns, she must face an impossible choice: does she protect a kingdom that wants her dead or save the Metal boy she loves?”

Our Dark Duet (Monsters of Verity #2) by Victoria Schwab

“THE WORLD IS BREAKING. AND SO ARE THEY. KATE HARKER isn't afraid of monsters. She hunts them. And she's good at it. AUGUST FLYNN once yearned to be human. He has a part to play. And he will play it, no matter the cost. THE WAR HAS BEGUN. THE MONSTERS ARE WINNING. Kate will have to return to Verity. August will have to let her back in. And a new monster is waiting—one that feeds on chaos and brings out its victims' inner demons. Which will be harder to conquer: the monsters they face, or the monsters within?”

Uprooted by Naomi Novik

“Our Dragon doesn’t eat the girls he takes, no matter what stories they tell outside our valley. We hear them sometimes, from travelers passing through. They talk as though we were doing human sacrifice, and he were a real dragon. Of course that’s not true: he may be a wizard and immortal, but he’s still a man, and our fathers would band together and kill him if he wanted to eat one of us every ten years. He protects us against the Wood, and we’re grateful, but not that grateful.” Agnieszka loves her valley home, her quiet village, the forests and the bright shining river. But the corrupted Wood stands on the border, full of malevolent power, and its shadow lies over her life. Her people rely on the cold, driven wizard known only as the Dragon to keep its powers at bay. But he demands a terrible price for his help: one young woman handed over to serve him for ten years, a fate almost as terrible as falling to the Wood. The next choosing is fast approaching, and Agnieszka is afraid. She knows—everyone knows—that the Dragon will take Kasia: beautiful, graceful, brave Kasia, all the things Agnieszka isn’t, and her dearest friend in the world. And there is no way to save her. But Agnieszka fears the wrong things. For when the Dragon comes, it is not Kasia he will choose.”

Far from the Tree by Robin Benway

“A contemporary novel about three adopted siblings who find each other at just the right moment. Being the middle child has its ups and downs. But for Grace, an only child who was adopted at birth, discovering that she is a middle child is a different ride altogether. After putting her own baby up for adoption, she goes looking for her biological family, including— Maya, her loudmouthed younger bio sister, who has a lot to say about their newfound family ties. Having grown up the snarky brunette in a house full of chipper redheads, she’s quick to search for traces of herself among these not-quite-strangers. And when her adopted family’s long-buried problems begin to explode to the surface, Maya can’t help but wonder where exactly it is that she belongs. And Joaquin, their stoic older bio brother, who has no interest in bonding over their shared biological mother. After seventeen years in the foster care system, he’s learned that there are no heroes, and secrets and fears are best kept close to the vest, where they can’t hurt anyone but him.”

Obsidio (The Illuminae Files #3) by Amie Kaufman, Jay Kristoff

“Kady, Ezra, Hanna, and Nik narrowly escaped with their lives from the attacks on Heimdall station and now find themselves crammed with 2,000 refugees on the container ship, Mao. With the jump station destroyed and their resources scarce, the only option is to return to Kerenza—but who knows what they'll find seven months after the invasion? Meanwhile, Kady's cousin, Asha, survived the initial BeiTech assault and has joined Kerenza's ragtag underground resistance. When Rhys—an old flame from Asha's past—reappears on Kerenza, the two find themselves on opposite sides of the conflict. With time running out, a final battle will be waged on land and in space, heroes will fall, and hearts will be broken.”

The Last Time I Lied by Riley Sager

“Two Truths and a Lie. The girls played it all the time in their tiny cabin at Camp Nightingale. Vivian, Natalie, Allison, and first-time camper Emma Davis, the youngest of the group. The games ended when Emma sleepily watched the others sneak out of the cabin in the dead of night. The last she--or anyone--saw of them was Vivian closing the cabin door behind her, hushing Emma with a finger pressed to her lips. Now a rising star in the New York art scene, Emma turns her past into paintings--massive canvases filled with dark leaves and gnarled branches that cover ghostly shapes in white dresses. The paintings catch the attention of Francesca Harris-White, the socialite and wealthy owner of Camp Nightingale. When Francesca implores her to return to the newly reopened camp as a painting instructor, Emma sees an opportunity to try to find out what really happened to her friends. Yet it's immediately clear that all is not right at Camp Nightingale. Already haunted by memories from fifteen years ago, Emma discovers a security camera pointed directly at her cabin, mounting mistrust from Francesca and, most disturbing of all, cryptic clues Vivian left behind about the camp's twisted origins. As she digs deeper, Emma finds herself sorting through lies from the past while facing threats from both man and nature in the present. And the closer she gets to the truth about Camp Nightingale, the more she realizes it may come at a deadly price.”

[theimaginesyouneveraskedfor]

Roo’s Classic Literature Writing Challenge

As my first writing challenge, I am going to provide a list of classic literature quotes under the cut for all you lovelies to choose from. I thought it would be something a little different for everyone and something to have fun with.  

Now you may have a few questions and I will answer them all before we begin:

Do I have to follow you to participate?

Not at all. I understand my blog isn’t for everyone and this isn’t to promote me, it’s to promote all of you lovely writers! It’s not required, but a reblog always helps spread the word for the challenge, too.

Which fandom do I write for?

That is entirely up to you. Your choice of fandom and characters. As well you can write Reader, AU, or Pairings. It is all your creative prerogative.

What kind of story do I write?

Angst, fluff, smut, whatever. They will all be accepted within reason (ie. no incest or non-consent).

What do I do with the quote? Do I choose only one?

The quotes are intended to provide a theme or mood for your story but that doesn’t mean you can’t include it directly in your piece. And if you want to choose more than one, go for it!

How do I get involved?

Send me an ask with the following:

               *fandom and character (s)

               *your selected quote

After you’ve finished, send me and ask or tag me in your fic and tag it

#Roo’s Classic Lit Challenge

. If I don’t reblog/like within a day, send me a message to make sure I’ve seen it.

All fics will be included in a masterlist that I will include on my blog 😊

When do I have to get this done by?

I know all of you have WiPs and all those lovely projects, so I will be generous with my time and set it for

Friday, April 20th, 2018.

Any other questions are appreciated and I look forward to reading all of your creations!

Quotes:

1.       “I like good strong words that mean something…” ― Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

2.       “My life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes.” ― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

3.       “Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape.” ― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

4.       “No evil dooms us hopelessly except the evil we love, and desire to continue in, and make no effort to escape from. ” ― George Eliot, Daniel Deronda

5.       “I am not proud, but I am happy; and happiness blinds, I think, more than pride.” ― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo

6.       “I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.” ― Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

7.       “There was a star riding through clouds one night, & I said to the star, 'Consume me'.” ― Virginia Woolf, The Waves

8.       “I'd rather take coffee than compliments just now.” ― Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

9.       “Yes: I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.” ― Oscar Wilde, The Critic as Artist

10.   “Life, although it may only be an accumulation of anguish, is dear to me, and I will defend it.” ― Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, Frankenstein, or The Modern Prometheus

11.   “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.” ― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

12.   “Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It's splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world.” ― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

13.   “As happens sometimes, a moment settled and hovered and remained for much more than a moment. And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment.” ― John Steinbeck, Of Mice and Men

14.   “You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope...I have loved none but you.” ― Jane Austen, Persuasion

15.   “Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.” ― Edgar Allan Poe, The Raven

16.   “Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it... Yet.” ― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

17.   “It's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.” ― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo

18.   “I was benevolent and good; misery made me a fiend. Make me happy, and I shall again be virtuous.” ― Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, Frankenstein, or The Modern Prometheus

19.   “We dream in our waking moments, and walk in our sleep.” — Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter

20.   “There is but one coward on earth, and that is the coward that dare not know.” ― W.E.B. Du Bois, Dusk of Dawn

21.   “Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way.” ― Jane Austen, Emma

22.   “I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.” ― Oscar Wilde, The Happy Prince and Other Stories

23.   “What loneliness is more lonely than distrust?” ― George Eliot, Middlemarch

24.   “There are chords in the hearts of the most reckless which cannot be touched without emotion.” ― Edgar Allan Poe, The Masque of the Red Death

25.   “It was not the thorn bending to the honeysuckles, but the honeysuckles embracing the thorn.” ― Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights

26.   “People generally see what they look for, and hear what they listen for.” ― Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

27.   “At the moment when her eyes closed, when all feeling vanished in her, she thought that she felt a touch of fire imprinted on her lips, a kiss more burning than the red-hot iron of the executioner.” ― Victor Hugo, The Hunchback of Notre-Dame

28.   “Life is to be lived, not controlled; and humanity is won by continuing to play in face of certain defeat.” ― Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man

29.   “I too am not a bit tamed, I too am untranslatable, I sound my barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world.” ― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

30.   “It sounds plausible enough tonight, but wait until tomorrow. Wait for the common sense of the morning.” ― H.G. Wells, The Time Machine

31.   "It's much better to do good in a way that no one knows anything about it." ― Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina

32.   ­"It is a great misfortune to be alone, my friends; and it must be believed that solitude can quickly destroy reason." ― Jules Verne, The Mysterious Island

33.   “I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King

34.   “No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true.” ― Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter

35.   “Alright then, I’ll go to hell.” ― Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

36.   “The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes.” ― Arthur Conan Doyle, The Hound of the Baskervilles

37.   “Some people could look at a mud puddle and see an ocean with ships.” ― Zora Neale Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching God

38.   “I saw the Cloud, though I did not foresee the Storm.” ― Daniel Defoe, Moll Flanders

39.   “After all, tomorrow is another day!” ― Margaret Mitchell, Gone with the Wind

40.   “I look at you and a sense of wonder takes me.” — Homer, The Odyssey

41.   “We can never give up longing and wishing while we are thoroughly alive. There are certain things we feel to be beautiful and good, and we must hunger after them.” — George Eliot, The Mill on the Floss

42.   “The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.” — John Milton, Paradise Lost

43.   “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

44.   “I know not all that may be coming, but be it what it will, I'll go to it laughing.” — Herman Melville, Moby Dick

45.   “It’s better to look at the sky than live there” — Truman Capote, Breakfast at Tiffany’s

46.   “I am satisfied ... I see, dance, laugh, sing.” ― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

47.   “We learn words by rote, but not their meaning; that must be paid for with our life-blood, and printed in the subtle fibres of our nerves.” ― George Eliot, The Lifted Veil

48.   “Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.” ― Victor Hugo, Les Miserables

49.   “I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.” ― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

50.   “If you look the right way, you can see the whole world is a garden.” ― Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Secret Garden

[puzzle163]

this might be a little greedy but: OTP questions 1-15 for brugo :P

omg bless

(Since a lot of these aren’t applicable for Edenverse, let’s go with the complicated backstory I came up with and never really used for the marriage one-shot and partially for the Verbo et Opere AU! The short version: Brian works in a motorcycle shop and was adopted/raised by a family with a bunch of other foster kids, Hugo is an only child who flunked a college semester when his heart got broken by his first long-term boyfriend. Brian is on an annual family summer camping trip, Hugo is camping with his parents while he gets his head together to go back to college in the fall. AND GO.)

Who asks the other on a date first?Technically Brian because he was the one who drove to Hugo’s house after they returned to their respective homes to say that he’d decided he didn’t want them to just be a summer flirtation, but Hugo was the one who asked Brian on the first hike they went on together, and at that point there were clearly some sparks flying already. (it just wasn’t an official Date u_u)

Where was their first kiss? Who leaned in first?In the woods while hiking together near the end of the summer. It was very much a mutual lean ;3

How long did they know each other before they started dating?A few months, they didn’t Officially date until after the summer camping trip

How did they flirt with one another before one of them got the courage to ask the other out?In this AU I had Brian being the more romantically-unprepared person, so his flirting was super tsuntsun because he really liked this boy? Whose smile made his heart do flips?? And how do you react to that besides finding stupid reasons to be around him and acting like they’re coincidences??? Hugo was better at flirting but could tell Brian was pretty nervous so his flirting was all super low-key, like holding hands over rough terrain and getting Brian to come stargazing with him.

Where did they go on their first date?Brian took Hugo on a motorcycle ride and they got some food truck type lunch

What did they talk about on their first date? Mostly about what they should do regarding their relationship. By this point they’d spent all summer talking about their lives and hobbies and stuff, and this moment was kind of a big one because they could potentially choose to walk away from each other right then, so as happy as they were to be spending time together again the topic of “should we continue this officially?” was really the only thing on their minds.

Who picked who up, or did they meet up, on their first date?Brian picked up Hugo at his house

When do they make it official that they are dating?Once they talk and decide they do want to continue things, it’s official to them, but it takes awhile longer for them to be official to anyone else. Hugo’s parents aren’t super keen on Brian at first, especially as they’d just watched their only son take the loss of a serious relationship pretty hard the winter before, and they picked up on the “not the most stable emotional upbringing possible” vibes from Brian. So there’s a lot of secretive dates and sneaking out and not taking it super seriously x3 But eventually they get caught and Brian sees how concerned/upset Hugo’s parents are about Hugo choosing him so he slinks out (to ride his motorcycle home...alone.....in the rain........BECAUSE AESTHETIC) and Hugo is of course upset and kind of explodes at his parents for making Brian feel unwanted and it’s a moment of clarity for him because he realizes that he doesn’t just want to date Brian for the thrill of dating someone, or just for sex or just for attention or just to fill time...he wants to be in a relationship with Brian because this is someone he can see spending the rest of his life with. So he sort of steals (...borrows without permission? 8D) his dad’s car to chase Brian down and they talk and kiss in the rain (BECAUSE AESTHETIC DAMN IT) and then probably both catch colds even though they’re idiots.

Who do they bring to their first double date?Charlie and Louisa. It’s not really a double date tbh because the only people romantically attached are Brian and Hugo, but it goes great because Charlie and Louisa initially are wary of each other in a “you seem cool but my friend likes your friend a lot and if he gets hurt I swear to god I’ll cut every bitch in a square mile” but then realize they have a lot in common (DUMB GUY FRIENDS AMONG THEM) and end up being bffs.

Who can’t stop blushing when they are around their partner? Hugo, because in every AU he WILL blush at the drop of a hat

How do they adjust to their partner’s social group?Awkwardly. xD Brian’s social group is basically all his motorcycle shop coworkers who are either gearheads or stoners or both, and Hugo’s social group is all these clean-cut well-brought-up college kids and their first group outings are extremely awkward (Brian’s coworkers invite Hugo’s friends to a Hardcore Heavy Death Metal Concert. Hugo’s friends ask Brian in 100% seriousness if the fact that he has tattoos means he’s been to jail.) Eventually they learn to find common ground though.

Who gets tongue tied around their partner?Oh they both do from time to time, that never gets old =3=

What do they do in public to show that they are dating? Hold hands, walk arm in arm, does one have their arm over the other, constant flirting, the look™, anything else?Holding hands is a big one for them, as well as Hugo having his arm over Brian’s shoulders/Brian having his arm around Hugo’s waist. They also both have The Look for each other.

Who is more likely to give a kiss on their partner’s cheek in public? Probably Brian once their relationship settles into something they’re treating as public and long-term. He loves that he can always get Hugo to blush when he does it x3

Who notices all the small things when they start dating? Hugo mostly, he has experience in a relationship so he notices a lot more, while Brian is flailing around just trying to figure out why he’s having a Feeling and wtf to do about it.

[aion-rsa]

Netflix’s The One: Ending Explained

https://ift.tt/2OpdEA1

Netflix thriller The One is bookended by the same line. It starts and ends with Rebecca Webb, CEO of the genetics-based dating service central to the series, standing on stage saying: “I have a secret I want to share with you.” 

Both times, Rebecca’s talking to a crowd of receptive clients eager to hear that her company is going to find them scientifically approved, DNA-based true love. In episode one, the ‘secret’ is all part of a spiel about her having grown up with parents who didn’t love each other and how, thanks to her company, that won’t ever have to happen again. 

By the finale though, the audience knows that Rebecca really does have a secret. She has several in fact, starting with the deeply shady origins of her billion pound company. By the end of the series, is Rebecca about to make a public confession? Join us as we delve into that and the other cliff-hanger questions left by the finale…

Will Rebecca confess?

To three murders? We don’t know but it’s not likely is it? That one’s pure corporate shark, from her expensively styled quiff to her designer shoes. The finale leaves us with the suggestion that Rebecca – now with no company, no Matheus and, in her own words, nothing left to lose – might be about to tell all, but a confession would be a massive leap for a character so conscience-free who’s gone to such extreme lengths to protect herself until now. 

What happened to Ben on the night of the party?

First Rebecca pushed him off the rooftop of the Millionth Match party venue during an argument, then she pressured James into helping her cover up Ben’s death and dump his body in the Thames. Before Ben went into the water though, Rebecca realised that he was still alive and that she could try to save him. Instead, she rolled him into the river, killing him – a secret she’d kept even from James. 

Why did she do it? Because Ben had realised that Rebecca was behind the data breach that got him fired from his job. He confronted her on the rooftop, threatening to go public with what he knew and send her to prison. When Matheus and Fabio showed up at Rebecca’s place on the day of the Millionth Match party, Ben realised that Matheus had previously taken part in a medical trial for his old company. That’s how he knew that, if Rebecca and Matheus had matched, she must have stolen the database that gave her access to Matheus’ genetic profile. 

Who stabbed Matheus?

David Cooper, the man who’d been protesting outside The One headquarters all series, holding a placard reading ‘A Match Made in Hell’. When Cooper’s wife had used The One to find her match, she’d left him and taken their two young children with her. Enraged, Cooper had attacked his ex-wife’s new partner and lost custody of the kids. He then channelled his frustration and anger into a campaign against Rebecca, eventually stalking her to her home address. He followed her to the new headquarters of her medical research lab, where she was secretly meeting Matheus. Cooper lunged at Rebecca with a knife, but Matheus saw the attack, span Rebecca around and saved her life, taking the knife and dying in the process. Rebecca later had Cooper stabbed to death in prison.

Read more

TV

The One Review (Spoiler-Free): Not a Match Made in Heaven

By Louisa Mellor

TV

New on Netflix UK March 2021: The Irregulars & Moxie Streaming This Month

By Louisa Mellor

Why didn’t Rebecca save Fabio?

For the same reason that she killed Ben – because he was threatening to send her to prison for a past crime. Unlike Ben though, Fabio could be paid off and was blackmailing Rebecca for cash. Having spoken to Ben on the day he disappeared, Fabio knew that Rebecca had reason to kill him, and so when he saw the news report about Ben’s body being dredged up from the Thames, he demanded two million euros in exchange for not telling the police what he knew. Hence, when she found him passed out, she chose not to try to save him. 

Megan, Hannah, Mark and the baby

This is messy. When Hannah went to apologise in person to Megan – the woman she’d befriended after discovering that she was her husband Mark’s genetic match – during a hug, Megan stole a strand of Hannah’s hair. We later saw her use the strand to send to The One and find Hannah’s match. Although Megan told everybody she was planning to move back to Australia, she may be hoping that once Hannah meets her match, she’ll leave Mark and then he and Megan can be together. Mark lied to Hannah about having seen Megan while they were separated, so she doesn’t know that they had sex. Megan, on the other hand, doesn’t know that Hannah is currently pregnant with Mark’s baby. Like I said – a messy business.

Kate’s sibling love triangle with Sophia and Sebastien

After Kate and Sophia were matched, Sophia’s brother Sebastian told Kate he was strongly drawn to her, as if they were also matched. Kate, who’s bisexual, felt a similar pull towards both siblings. The last we saw her she was looking at Sebastien’s social media profile, which included photographs of his fiancée. She closed the tablet and kissed Sophia, perhaps indicating that she’d made her decision, but we also know that Sophia and Kate were both invited to Sebastien’s approaching wedding… In short then, she seemed to choose Sophia but the jury’s out. 

James and Yasmin: a happy ending?

It looked like it. Strangely, even after she had Connor beat him up, James ended the series still friends with Rebecca and likely heading up the scientific arm of her new charitable medical research facility. We saw his match Yasmin, a Somalian refugee and IT worker with a young daughter, get his information and the two of them meet up and get along, suggesting that his lonely, guilt-ridden days are over.

Is The One all a lie?

It very much seems like it. As Kate discovered, despite the company line that there’s only one genetic match for everybody out there, it is possible to be matched with more than one person. Rebecca told James that the company was getting a few cases of people reporting feeling matched to two different people, “mostly between siblings with a high degree of chromosome recombination.” The entire premise, therefore, that there’s one true match out there for everybody, is false – the kind of news that could bring the company to its knees. Good job Rebecca got out when she could, eh?

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

The One is available to stream now on Netflix

The post Netflix’s The One: Ending Explained appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3lb8uU5

[gracewithducks]

Our Holy Little Lives (Faith at the Movies: Little Women) - preached 1/19/2020

Movie Summary (spoilers – but if you don’t know the basics of Little Women 150 years after the story was published, I think it’s a bit late for spoiler warnings!): Little Women is based on Louisa May Alcott’s novel of the same name, and tells the story of four sisters coming of age in the 1860s. Their father is serving as a chaplain in the Civil War, so their wise and patient mother heads the household. The four sisters each have unique personalities: from oldest to youngest, they are Meg, who’s beautiful and traditional; Jo, who rejects tradition, longing to be independent and a writer; Beth, the peacemaker of the family; and Amy, the youngest, who loves art and longs to be rich. The family starts a friendship with their rich neighbor and his grandson, Theodore Laurence, whom they call “Laurie.” Meg falls in love with and marries Laurie’s tutor; Jo refuses Laurie’s marriage proposal and instead goes to New York City in search of adventure. Amy travels to Europe with the girls’ wealthy maiden aunt, while Beth’s health fails back at home. Before her death, Beth begs Jo to keep writing stories for her. Jo realizes she longs to love and be loved, and second guesses her refusal to marry Laurie – only to discover that Laurie has married her youngest sister, Amy. Jo ends up falling in love with a professor she met in New York City, who encouraged Jo to push herself beyond writing fantastical stories and instead capture the beauty of real life.

  As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.  But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” (Luke 10:38-40)

   I always hated Amy March.

 Maybe it’s because I was the youngest in my family, too, so I saw a little too much of myself in Amy, the youngest sister, desperate to stand out, longing for attention and a chance to outperform her older siblings.

 But I always detested Amy March. The four sisters are each unique: there’s Meg, the oldest, smart and sensible; there’s Jo, fearless and bold – often to the point of foolishness; there’s Beth, the shy sister who sits quietly in the background and asks why everyone can’t just get along – and then there’s little Amy, whiny selfish Amy, fiercely and relentlessly ambitious Amy.

 The March family is far from wealthy; though they do get glimpses of neighbors who are much worse off, they also live in the shadow of their rich neighbor’s estate, and more often than not, the family goes without. And so Amy is bound and determined that she won’t be poor forever; she is going to be a rich woman, no matter who she has to marry to get there.

 Amy is vain, perhaps because she knows her beauty is her one greatest asset in capturing a rich husband; she yearns to be popular in school, and she hates being left behind. So when her older sisters leave her behind to go out for an evening of fun, Amy yells, “You’ll be sorry!” – and then with anger and intention, she takes her older sister Jo’s masterpiece, her handwritten manuscript, the novel into which she’s poured her heart and soul over many sleepless nights – Amy takes Jo’s one precious labor of creative love, and she burns each page away.

 The sisters get in an actual rolling-on-the-floor, fists-flying and hair-pulling fight that night. And when Mike and I watched that scene – both sisters sobbing with anger, both sisters certain she was the one who’d been done wrong – when we watched those sisters yelling and rolling and fighting, I looked at my husband and said, “Isn’t it nice to know that sisters are the same in every generation? Some things just never change!”

 No matter what age we live in, we fight most passionately – and hurt most deeply – the people whom we love most dearly. Maybe it’s a simple matter of proximity. Maybe it’s because we reserve our civility for those people we can keep at an arm’s length. Or maybe it’s because deep down we believe that love will persevere – they say that’s why children will behave beautifully for teachers and neighbors and strangers, but as soon as their parent shows up, everything goes off the rails… the experts say it’s because our children know they’re safe with us; they can let their guard down, and let their sadness or anger or exhaustion show, and they know we’ll still love them, no matter what.

 Maybe. But – when we’re honest – there are plenty of days when we make it hard to love each other. And that’s what happened for the March sisters the night Amy threw Jo’s masterpiece in the fire. Even when she repents and apologizes, weeping, the damage is done, and Jo proclaims, “She doesn’t deserve my forgiveness. I hate her. I’ll never forgive her. Never.”

 It’s only later – only after Amy chases after her older sister, begging for forgiveness, her cries falling on deaf ears until the splash, until Amy falls through the ice and nearly drowns in a frozen lake – it’s only later that Jo relents, rushing to her sister, pulling her to dry land, wrapping her in Jo’s own warm dry clothes, and forgiving her at last. Jo realizes, in that moment, just how quickly things can change; she realizes that even more important than irreplaceable manuscripts are irreplaceable people. Jo realizes what matters most – and, as she later says to a grown-up Amy, “Life’s too short to stay mad at your sister.”

 And I know that Jo is right – I spend my whole life talking about grace after all. But I’m not sure I’d be so quick to forgive. I never really liked Amy to begin with, and this whole scene especially reveals just how selfish and ungrateful she can be. And I know, in my rational mind, that people are always more important than things. But still, the heart struggles to forgive sometimes.

 I never could stand Amy. Then again – and this may be close to blasphemy – but I never really liked any of the March sisters. I loved their story; I loved to visit their chaotic little household, but the sisters themselves had a way of getting on my nerves. There’s Meg, who gives in to peer pressure when the rich girls adopt her as their pet… and who rather enjoys playing the part, until she gives into pressure from the neighbor-boy to put her airs away. And Meg is always just a little bit too earnest, too good; she gives up her own dreams for the sake of love.

 Then there’s Beth, who never really has many dreams or much of a voice, just meekly letting the story pass her by – Beth, the one whose own sisters even think she’s just a bit too good to be true.

 And even Jo, the plucky heroine who bucks tradition, clinging to her independence, determined to keep her voice and make her own way – even Jo ends up compromising, giving up her freedom to marry in the end. Jo made me furious growing up: she is so determined not to marry that she breaks the heart of the neighbor-boy, turning down his proposal, even though he would have been such a perfect match… but then all of the sudden she changes her mind and marries anyway, marrying somebody else whom we, the audience, hardly get to know or have any chance to approve. Sure, I could make an argument that the whole arc of Jo’s story, the essence of her character, is that she doesn’t give in to other people’s opinions of what her life should be – she won’t be pressured into compromising her choices just to meet someone else’s expectations, so perhaps it only makes sense that she doesn’t care whether I approve of her decisions, either.

 Maybe. But my goodness, it was always just so annoying to watch this fiercely independent woman throw her whole personality away.

 So that’s the family: four irritatingly flawed sisters, and their mother – Marmee, who’s more than just a little bit too good, Marmee who bravely heads the family while father is away, Marmee who believes in educating her daughters to be independent women, who teaches them not just ambition but compassion for their neighbors, Marmee who is infinitely patient with her wild girls and somehow always knows the very right and perfect thing to say.

 It’s altogether a bit too much – which is, I think, why I appreciated this newest telling of the March family story. This film humanizes the March family and, in many ways, redeems them. Instead of saccharine perfection, wise words and quick forgiveness, we see more of the conflict and chaos. We catch glimpses of the struggle that patient Marmee faces when she confesses that she is angry every single day. We see that Meg, who achieves the perfect domestic little life, who pledged that she’d rather marry a poor man for love than anyone else – Meg marries her poor man for love, but still is the young woman who loves fine things, and struggles at times to be content. Beth the wallflower becomes a bit bolder, more of an actor in her own story, and in many ways the thread that holds the others together, even after her death. And we see a Jo who doesn’t forget herself for a man, but who instead clarifies her own priorities – and chooses to live, in her own ambiguous way, happily ever after.

 But most of all, we get to meet a kindler, gentler Amy. We see Amy not as a spoiled brat but Amy who’s lonely and longing to be loved. We meet an Amy who has grown up in the shadow of hardship and war, of poverty and death, and who is desperately afraid she will die unimportant, unnoticed, that she will die without ever really getting a chance to live. And we meet an Amy whose marriage, in the end, is not so much a greedy manipulation but is an extension of her love for her family, and her grief, and her longing to be loved for herself, and the pressure she’s always felt to be the one who finds a way to provide for all the rest .

 In this modern Little Women, each of the women are doing their best to make their way in the world – each choosing a different path, and each stumbling along the way to figuring out what love and happiness means. We find that none of the sisters is the caricature we’ve reduced her to; we find that none is so flawed nor so perfect as they’ve seemed – this new incarnation of the March family is not quite so pure, and for that reason, it’s so much more real.

 Because that’s what Incarnation means: it means in-the-flesh, in the real world of flesh and blood and sweat and tears. And that’s where the Incarnate Word, who put on flesh and lives among us, that’s where God meets us – not in some patient, perfect, harmonious universe, but in this one where we really live.

 It’s a bit peculiar, watching a movie knowing you’re going to preach on it in a few days. I’m always trying to take notes, jotting down the best lines and the things that really make you think – but this time, I found that my favorite scenes were the ones I couldn’t capture in my notes, because they were the moments when the whole brood of sisters are talking over each other – in joy, or excitement, murmuring words of comfort or exclamations of praise – and in those amazingly chaotic moments, there is just so much warmth and so much love.

 And when the March family ultimately loses one of their members, when quiet Beth really and truly fades right away, that’s when the sisters realize just how not-invisible Beth really was – how much her very presence meant – and more than that, they realize just how precious all those ordinary little moments of their ordinarily little lives always have been.

 Meg always longed for her own household, and Amy wanted riches, and Jo yearned for grand adventures – but when they lose Beth, they realize that what matters most, the grandest and richest adventures, came in quietly, in ordinary moments: in family newspapers and attic dramas, in family breakfasts and hair disasters, in missing gloves and burnt dresses and secret mailboxes and singing around the piano by candlelight… they learn to find the beauty and value in all that ordinary stuff.

 I imagine that’s why Jesus sought the company of sisters like Martha and Mary, whom we visited again today, on what was undoubtedly not one of their finest days. But Jesus the wandering rabbi was a man without a home, looking for a place to let down his guard and rest – and in his presence, even sisterly squabbles take on the air of something holy. Have you ever considered how remarkable it is that we know this story at all? That the story of two sisters fighting over housework was considered so important that it actually becomes part of the gospel – the story of salvation, the story of heaven come to earth, the story which was preserved and passed down through the generations? It’s not just crowds and miracles and sermons and speeches, but we find that the chaos of our daily lives is holy, too. Even when we’re not at our best, even when we get on each other’s nerves, love is there, and God is, too.

 Little Women is of course a story about a family of remarkable women, but there is an honorary brother in this family, the rich and lonely boy next door. And when that boy first encounters the chaotic bustle of noise and affection inside the March household, his face reflects his longing – a longing to belong to a crazy and boisterous and loving family like theirs. The arguments and embraces are holy, because they are bound together with a thread of love – and having everything means nothing if you have no one to share it with.

 Jo spends the whole novel trying to write great stories; she writes about kings and princesses, about murderers and star-crossed lovers and great and mighty battlefields. Jo writes stories about scandal and passion and gore – but what she realizes in the end is that the best story, the greatest and most important story, is her own.

 Beth begs her sister to keep writing, even after Beth herself is gone. And in the writing, Jo finds that the stories are holy – in the writing, she finds that her sister lives on. Love doesn’t end with death: we know it, we proclaim it, and Jo learns it – not by facing down a dragon on a battlefield, but by discovering the love that has been with her all her life through.

 That’s the beauty and the genius of Louisa May Alcott’s book – she who identified with Jo, who searched for a great story and found her story very close to home. Alcott’s characters reveal to us that every day is a holy day, and ordinary moments can be the holiest of all.

 And this is a message which is very personal for our family. Many of you know that we lost our son to leukemia when he was just one year old. Shortly after our son passed away, we sat with a friend of ours sharing photos and watching videos and telling stories through our tears, and our friend asked us, “Is there one memory, one moment, that you really treasure most of all?”

 And we said, “Honestly? It’s the stupid ordinary everyday family stuff: the stuff that we used to take for granted.” It’s the afternoon when our kids drummed together on the bottom of a garbage can, or the nights we actually all sat around the same dinner table, or we shared snuggles and had a tickle-fight at bedtime – it’s the seemingly ordinary moments that matter most. Carl’s big sister trying to “read” him a book. Going for a walk around the neighborhood. Playing with my parents’ dog. Crying in the carseat. Laughing as he spins around and around in an office chair. Holding him while he naps. Stupid, ordinary, everyday family stuff.

That’s what matters. That’s why the March family story endures: not just because each sister, in her own way, learns that the most important thing in life is love – but because, for all their grand dreams and ambitions, they discover the real adventure and the best story is our own. One of the sisters muses, “Do you really think anyone would care about our little domestic struggles and triumphs?” The answer throughout the years has, of course, been yes – because we are reminded that the real stuff of our daily lives matters, too.

 Friends, what is your story? Who shares it? Where has God been revealed in your life? What do you want to remember forever - not just the best days, but the ordinary ones? What legacy are we going to leave behind?

 Our little lives matter. This day, this day right now, is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. And may we find that this day is a holy day – flaws and squabbles and all.

  God of our greatest adventures, God of our ordinary every-days, we thank you for the gift of this day. Help us to see the beauty in the chaos of our lives: in moments we take for granted, in laughter and in tears, in all those things we don’t know enough to treasure until they’re gone. Teach us to value people above everything else; teach us to forgive, and help us especially to remember that what matters most is love. May we not just long to be loved, but to love, with courage and with grace. In the name of Jesus, who joins us in our messy world and turns all the ground we walk into holy ground, we pray; amen.

[doodle--writes]

Jackass to Want That Ass- (Peter Maximoff X Reader)

Word Count: 2424

Warnings: Cursing, death, injury, torture

Summary: Y/N and Peter go out on a mission together, bringing back dark memories of how they met.

You sat there sitting behind concrete, hoping that a bullet wouldn’t graze you while you were waiting for backup. The only silver haired loser you knew had gotten you into the situation. You hung your head and gave out an exasperated sigh, knowing every single mistake you made to get into that situation.

Earlier that day you had been having a conversation with Charles, he was consulting you to figure out which book would be best for his English class, To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee or Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. “Charles, I love Little Women, I have since I was a child and it’s a classic but To Kill a Mockingbird would resonate with the students much better. With all of the controversial issues and the racism and prejudice, most of your students would understand it and know that there’s always been persecution against races other than them.” Charles silently nodded, you were trying your hardest to adapt to his bald head. Then you heard a voice which made you sigh immediately.

“Hey there professor. Oh and McCurvy’s here too? Wow I am lucky today.”

You scoffed. “Like hell you are,” you turned to Charles, “I truly hope that you choose Harper Lee’s book. I’ll be taking my leave now.” Without another word you gathered up all of your belongings and began to walk out of the room, hearing Charles’ voice being directed towards Peter.

“Why do you always bombard the poor girl with comments like that?”

“It’s fun to see her get mad, also no one else is hitting on her and she’s cool so I made it my job.” You just heard Charles sigh and then a second later all of your belongings were on the floor and you wrists were behind you, but tied up. There was also a decent weight pulling them down. You craned your neck to see the straps of your messenger bag tied around your wrists. The name of the culprit who had made it happen flew out of your lips.

“Peter!” Within a second the silver haired twenty seven year old had shown up in front of you, a smirk tugging at his lips, his dimples showing, and his goggles pulled over his deep brown eyes. He chuckled.

“Yes Y/N McCurvy?” You groaned in annoyance. He was such a jackass it gave you a headache. You closed your eyes for a second, took in a deep breath, opened your eyes and forced a smile.

“Peter, can you pretty please untie me? I won’t say anything mean to you for half an hour. I promise.” He sat there tapping his foot, his hand under his chin, and for once in his life a look of concentration. He finally smiled.

“Yeah, no.”

You felt some anger swelling inside of you and began to speak up. “Peter, you bastard, untie me this instance.” He just calmly shook his head no. Then you felt something around your ankles and you were falling back only to be caught in someone’s arms. Although you weren’t too fond of who it was. You were thrown over a shoulder and then he began to walk. You were silently pouting until you saw a certain blue skinned girl walking around.

“Raven! Help me! I’m being held hostage by him!” Suddenly she turned yours’ and Peter’s direction.

“Oh, I was just searching for you guys. We have a mission, suit up. And Peter, put her down.”

Without another word Raven had left the corridor, the last part of her to be seen was her hair, and Peter put you down. You were agitated to say the least. “A little help would be nice.” He began to laugh.

“I don’t know. I’m enjoying you being tied up too much.” You felt your face begin to heat up with something other than anger and a few images flashed in your mind. You gulped and struggled for an answer.

“J-just shut up and untie me!” With a laugh he finally knelt down on the floor right next to you and began to undo your binds. He first untied the messenger bag from your wrists and then he began to unwrap a whole bunch of tape from the ankles of your jeans. You sighed and said, “maybe if you were less of a jackass someone would want to date you,” then you mumbled and added, “I know I would.” Luckily, he didn’t hear that part.

“Maybe, but I don’t think so because you’re the only person I’m a jackass to.” You immediately began to make a list of how many times he was a jackass to others because of pranks and such. “I’m excluding pranks from that list. I usually do those with someone else.” You paused.

“Since when did you become telepathic?”

“Since never. So how about you go suit up and I’ll meet you on the jet?” Of course you didn’t get to respond because he was already gone. With a silent sigh you stood up and grabbed your bag before walking back to your room. You opened up the door and just dropped your bag.

Like you had done about ten times before, you had walked to your closet and sitting there in the center was your suit. With a sigh you pulled it off of the hanger and suited up. It was so strange how Hank had designed the suit so easily. You couldn’t imagine how long it took to find a material that could even interact with your mutation.

While shaking the idea out of your mind, you made your way under the basketball court which of course was connected to the lab. You walked in to see Peter, Scott, Raven, Hank, Kurt, and Jubilee there so far. You sighed and joined their little circle, if you could call it that, and waited for Jean.

About two minutes later she ran in. She stopped and was leaning over with her hands on her knees trying to catch her breath. “Sorry, the professor needed my assistance.” Raven waved it off and you all looked at her to get the briefing of your mission.

“So for this mission we have limited information. All we know is that this place is holding mutants captive and torturing them. We’re expecting the facility to be heavily guarded so you best be on high alert. Peter, Y/N, you two will take care of the main entrance. Scott, Jean, you will take the south side. We’ll cover the rest on the jet, we have to get going.”

Without another word of instruction we loaded onto the jet and Peter sat next across from you. A smirk was plastered on his face, showing his dimples, and he spoke up.

“Hey Y/N, don’t you remember the first time you were on one of these?” You scoffed.

“Of course I do.”

“So you remember who saved you and brought you back to the manor?”

You sighed. “Yes Peter. I remember the day you saved me. I need to save your ass to make it even.”

“You don’t have to make it even. You could always just deal with me annoying you forever.”

“You’re going to annoy me for forever whether or not I save your ass. I don’t mind that you annoy me either, I just don’t like feeling like I owe you.”

Peter looked shocked to say the least. There was a smile on his face, but the look in his eyes was a bit incredulous. He let out a surprised laugh.

“You actually like it when I tease you? And when I’m around in general?”

You could feel your face trying to change to a hue of red and you broke his stare. “Of course I don’t mind. I mean, you were my first, dare I say, friend here. You’re still the person here who’s closest to me, even if you are a jackass in the process.”

He smirked and had a look on his face that showed that he couldn’t argue. You giggled at the sight and began to think back to when Peter had saved your life.

It was seemingly normal day, you sat in your cell, rubbing the chain of the cuffs on your wrists against the bars. The sound coming from the rusty metal usually would’ve made anyone cover their ears to not listen to the noise, but for you it was a distraction. A distraction from the cruel reality you faced each day.

In the world there was far too much hate and prejudice, and that stayed true. For being a mutant, you were locked up in a cage and treated miserably, the physical scars were easy proof. You found yourself laughing anytime you were harmed. If you didn’t laugh, you’d die. Not physically but that last shred of you that you still had, would be gone.

A guard was sitting nearby, maybe fifteen feet away, on a stool and they were polishing their gun, one that ended every mutant that decided to step too far over the line. That’s why most of the cells around you were vacant.

You didn’t realize that you were even crying until the cries were loud enough for anyone in the hall to hear. That’s when you heard footsteps thundering towards you and you only increased your volume. The guard’s hand reached between the metal bars, grabbed your hair, and pulled your head to hit the bars. You whimpered and saw his hand go towards the gun. You began to let screams tear themselves from deep within your throat.

“Please! No! Don’t do it! I don’t wanna die!”

The pleads were racked with sobs so some of the words were unable to be understood. He then put the barrel up against your head and you held my eyes shut, as if that would make things easier. Then you heard a click, but nothing happened. Then the grip on your hair was gone and you heard the sound of a cell door slamming shut.

You fell to the ground trying to calm down and then a second later your cell door slowly swung open. You didn’t dare look up. You just sat slumped against the cold concrete floor and waited to be hit or something. Instead you felt yourself being picked up and looking into deep, dark chocolate colored eyes. The eyes belonged to a boy, his hair was peculiar, like he dyed it silver which was a hair color you had never seen.

You tried to say something but his hand went over your mouth.

“Shush McCurvy, I’m getting you outta this shithole.”

You raised an eyebrow at him and he only gave me a smirk but you remembered the situation you were in. You began to have different ideas run through your mind until the man stood you up in front of him, held your waist and braced your neck. “Hold on tight.”

Within a second you were somewhere else entirely that you didn’t look around at where you were, but you fell to the floor with your head spinning and with the nothing in your stomach trying to come up. You felt a hand on your back and heard the man’s voice again but this time it was lower and quiet. “It’s alright, it always takes a moment to recover from.”

After about two minutes of catching your breath you looked up and around. It looked like an empty helicarrier until your eyes landed on the man. “Who the hell are you?”

He smirked. “Well McCurvy, I am Peter, aka the best loser you’ll ever meet. And from what I’ve been told your name is Y/N, you’re 28, and you have a mutant ability.”

You wiped your mouth and sat down properly to look at him. “What do you want with me.”

“Well Y/N, I personally want you to be in debt to me for saving your life, but Xavier wants you to become an X-Men.”

That marked the very moment that your life changed for the better. And then you were drawn out of the memory by the sound of Peter.

“Y/N, come on you and I gotta go to our sector.” Your head shot up.

“Oh, um, yeah.”

You pulled yourself off of the seat and followed Peter out of the grounded jet and he ran you both inside. For a solid five seconds everything was good but then you heard gunfire and Peter was already speeding around messing with the guards, he succeeded without trouble but of course things turned too sour for your taste.

Peter found himself back by your side and you watched as guards of the warehouse you were in look around. You two were behind a little cement barricade that couldn’t be more than three feet tall. Too busy focusing on the gunmen you didn’t even notice the guy with a bat behind you and Peter. With a swing Peter was unconscious on the ground and you were hit in the back. You quickly turned around and knocked the guy off of his feet and put him in a choke hold until he quietly passed out.

You shook Peter but there was no response. “Dammit!” You quickly tugged his jacket off of him and shrugged it onto your own shoulders. Lord knows why Peter had decided to wear his silver jacket on that day but it would help you. You began to focus on altering the light in the room to create an illusion. The rest of the room thought you were Peter when you stood up and you began to take them out one by one. Luckily there weren’t more than fifteen guards but when you thought you were done, you felt a bullet collide into your shoulder.

“Ah!” You fell to the ground holding it while it bled. Suddenly there was a strong breeze and the guy shouted in agony. You looked up to see Peter. His eyes widened and he picked you up.

“Y/N, come on, I’ll get you back to the manor. Just stay awake.”

As the words came from his mouth your eyes began to shut. You felt kind of dizzy. “Heh, I guess I don’t owe you anymore. And Peter, I don’t think I can keep my eyes open.”

“No, Y/N, don’t close your eyes. I love you okay? Don’t close your eyes Y/N. Please don’t close your eyes.”

And right before you closed your eyes, you said, “I love you too.”

[stewartry]

Persuasion - Jane Austen

I say this a lot, but it's been a very long time since I read Persuasion. I know the movie (Ciaran Hinds and Amanda Root, for me the only one worth watching) very very well, and it was a pure joy to be reminded of how utterly and beautifully faithful it is to the book, and another joy to be reminded of all of the elements that did not make it into the film. Karen Savage's reading was lovely and just enhanced my enjoyment of the story.

I wonder if the book's title came from the prevalence of the word throughout the text, or if Miss Austen went back and threaded different forms of "persuade" into it afterward. (Wikipedia's messy article on the book (really, if someone's read Austen I would have thought that meant they could use proper English) indicates that the book was untitled at Jane Austen's death and that her brother named it – therefore, I guess, the former.) It's a pernicious little word, and quiet in its poison. Nineteen-year-old Anne was not bullied into giving Frederick up, nor ordered to do so, nor forced – nothing so loud and against her will. No, it's worse: she was persuaded. Lady Russell poured poison into her ear and sweetly nudged and subtly herded and full only of concern for Anne and only in her best interests steered her away from him until Anne bent to her will, became convinced that such a marriage would be bad not only for her and her family but also for him, and she turned him away. I don't doubt but that was quite a bit less quiet.

I like Anne, a great deal. She was, I think, not so much weak as pliant and obliging when she was young; she retains some of that pliability, but the pain she has lived with for eight years has woken her up and steeled her spine. She is willing and content to do for others, even those who are tiresome or who require rather than request, but she has a mind of her own, and it's a good one.

I don't know if I would love Wentworth without Ciaran Hinds's interference; I would like him, at least, and sympathize with him; I don't think it would be a Boromir-saved-by-Sean-Bean situation. He sounds like he was a bit free-wheeling when he was younger and courting Anne – he made a good deal of money and spent it, though Miss Austen declines to say on what. He does not seem to be a gambler of any sort; my semi-informed guess would be that he spent it on things he liked and on his sister and brother and friends.

I despise Lady Russell. I said so on a Goodreads Austen group, and was (genteelly, as befits an Austen group) jumped on for it and in all ways declared to be in the wrong. ("She stops the marriage with Wentworth because she cares so much for Anne and wants to protect her. Wentworth is penniless, was about to go to war and could have died.") I backed off, thinking my opinion must be faulty because it was based mainly on the film and not the book; the movie, I thought, must have slanted the character to encourage my dislike.

But it didn't. Listening to the book, I was a little surprised – and a little gratified – to find that while Lady Russell has to her credit a genuine affection and care for Anne, she is every bit as ludicrously snobbish and closed-minded as I thought – as much so, in fact, as Sir Walter himself. She. Ruined. Anne's. Life. Eight years of it, at least, and her interference was only remedied by chance. Also: Frederick's life, ruined. For eight years, both of them existed in some degree of misery because of Lady Russell. She took their love lightly, counted it as far less important than Anne's countenance and position, and never took into consideration the fact that in her concern for Anne's future security she was thoroughly sabotaging Anne's present and future happiness.

Was Lady Russell well-meaning? Of course. I never questioned that she honestly loved Anne. Was Lady Russell wrong? In theory, no. In practice, very much so. And in the end, criminally. The article I link there talks about how Lady R was trying to save Anne from making the same mistake as her mother – but she did not, apparently, trouble herself to determine that Frederick was very different from Sir Walter Elliot, nor that feeling ran deep on both sides. Anne might have had eight years of worrying over Frederick being injured or killed in the wars, but in the end …

Was Anne at fault as well? Of course. But she was nineteen years old. And it wasn’t a 19 comparable in any way to 19 years old today; it was a sheltered 19 used to being guided by her guardians, unused to having her voice heard or heeded. She relied on Lady Russell as she would have her own mother. And Lady Russell was dead set against Wentworth.

Put it this way: if she had continued to allow herself to be guided – to be persuaded – by Lady Russell at the age of 27 there's a damn good possibility she would have shortly found herself married to Mr. Elliot; that good lady despised him as much as Sir Walter in the beginning, and swung entirely over to his side with surprising quickness. Despite what she knew of his past, she saw an agreeable face and manners and an evidently decent fortune and set her persuasiveness to the end of pushing Anne toward him as she had pushed her away from Wentworth. If Wentworth had been married; if he had indicated he couldn't stand the sight of Anne; if Anne had fallen out of love with him; if she had not at that moment had Wentworth filling her eyes and heart Anne might have been once more persuaded. And that would have turned the story into a tragedy.

Another part of that discussion on Goodreads that completely shocked me was about how Wentworth victimized Anne – "8 years after what happened between them, Wentworth did not forget, he came back to avenge for his broken heart; 8 years is more than enough to forget and forgive! Wentworth was decided to hurt Anne. He was indulged with the Miss Musgroves though he had no intentions of going beyond flirtations. He did it to rub it in Anne's face" …

I didn't fight it then and there; I did protest, and happily was backed up by someone else; but, again, I didn't go into detail because I wasn't entirely sure of my ground, and my partisanship for Frederick Wentworth is obviously influenced by my infatuation with Ciaran Hinds in the role. Who knew but that the movie whitewashed Frederick a bit and slandered Lady R? Well. It didn't. Wentworth re-emerged into Anne's life because he had little choice in the matter. He could have shirked it, told his sister that he had to be elsewhere – but he's not that kind of man, and besides which they were renting the Elliots' house for an extended period. He had to know he wasn't going to be able to avoid the Elliots for the whole time, and – in keeping with his character indicated by his naval actions and advancement – he did not try to avoid it, letting very little time pass before he entered the fray and went to visit his sister. Was he rather cutting with her? Sure. It would take a saint to refrain completely from at least a few cutting remarks. She broke his heart eight years ago and he has not found anyone else in the intervening time to mend it. He genuinely loved her: "I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant." "Weak and resentful" – he admits it, he was unforgiving when they first met, and he has regretted it. But eight years is hardly "more than enough to forget and forgive" – anyone writing that has never had deep feelings for someone. She wronged him in such a way as to wreck both their lives. Eight years is nothing at all with that kind of pain.

"…He had no intentions of going beyond flirtations". Nonsense. He had built himself a successful career, and now in this time of peace all he hears is "you'll be finding yourself a wife soon, of course!" He had been severely hurt by Anne, and my guess would be that he had no intention of even thinking about considering the least notion of courting her, ever again. She was never demonstrative, and was still working her way through her own feelings, so she could not and would not and did not offer him any sort of encouragement. And there at the Musgroves' and most certainly in Lyme, with two pretty girls flinging themselves at him (literally, in the case of Louisa) and Anne very much not flinging herself at him, how could he not entertain the idea that one of these girls was a possibility? He was expected to settle down; he had a desire to settle down. He was … persuaded … that he ought to choose a wife and, since he could not apparently have the love of his life it might as well be the bright and vivacious Louisa, not least because everyone around him (including Louisa) took it as read. Then silly Louisa fell, and he saw how Anne reacted in the crisis – both the immediate emergency and in the trying days after – and gauged her reactions to him, and doesn't seem to have given Louisa, much less her sister, another thought. I believe he gave some serious thought to the Musgrove sisters – which is my belief if for no other reason than that it would be a rather repulsive man who would toy with two young girls just to get back at an old flame, and Anne would not continue to love an ugly-spirited man.<br /><br />What, I wonder, would have happened if Frederick Wentworth had returned to Anne's life under different circumstances? As a lowly lieutenant or commander, not having caught the luck and bounties that Captain Wentworth could rejoice in? Would Anne have been strong enough to see that he still loved her, and to accept a renewal of his courtship?

In the end, Lady Russell does redeem herself. She is forced to face the fact that she was wrong – about Wentworth, about Elliot, about Anne.

The only one among them whose opposition of feeling could excite any serious anxiety was Lady Russell. Anne knew that Lady Russell must be suffering some pain in understanding and relinquishing Mr. Elliot, and be making some struggles to become truly acquainted with, and do justice to Captain Wentworth. This, however, was what Lady Russell had now to do. She must learn to feel that she had been mistaken with regard to both; that she had been unfairly influenced by appearances in each; that because Captain Wentworth's manners had not suited her own ideas, she had been too quick in suspecting them to indicate a character of dangerous impetuosity; and that because Mr. Elliot's manners had precisely pleased her in their propriety and correctness, their general politeness and suavity, she had been too quick in receiving them as the certain result of the most correct opinions and well-regulated mind. There was nothing less for Lady Russell to do, than to admit that she had been pretty completely wrong, and to take up a new set of opinions and of hopes.

One note I can't resist making in counterpoint to the article in defense of Lady Russell:

When Lady Russell objects to Frederick’s having “no connexions to secure even his farther rise in” the navy, we should not interpret this as an example of her “value for rank and consequence” (11). (It is interesting to speculate that Frederick must have never mentioned to anyone other than Anne during his initial visit to Somersetshire that he had a naval “connexion” in his sister, the wife of Admiral Croft. Mrs. Croft says in 1814 that she has been married for fifteen years and thus would have been married to the admiral for seven years by 1806.)

He wasn't necessarily an admiral as yet in 1806.

If for no other reason, Persuasion is one of my favorite books because it contains one of my favorite passages, one of my favorite letters, fictional or non.  

Frederick: I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed. You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men. Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating, in F. W. I must go, uncertain of my fate; but I shall return hither, or follow your party, as soon as possible. A word, a look, will be enough to decide whether I enter your father's house this evening or never.

Such a letter was not to be soon recovered from.

I imagine not.

~View all my reviews~