#who asked for no pickles i cant say

[berserker-showdown]

ON the Right wielding a blade too big to be called a sword... Massive, thick, heavy, and far too rough more akin to a heap of raw Stone. the bearer of the God Hand and champion of the Greeks. The OG berserker himself: Herakles! and illya

ON the Left stands the General of Repetition, the second half of Red Hare, the famed warlord of the chinese Three Kingdoms Era, a Mobile Fortress of a Servant: Lu Bu Fengxian! and Rani viii

[miesozernacma]

how can one go about a friend breakup?

asking for a friend

[libraford]

The Pickle Ball drama is wild!

For those that don't know, pickleball is like if you played ping pong on a full size tennis court. It is generally considered an 'old people's game.'

Retired people wake up early in the morning and the first thing they do is go play pickle ball with their likewise early-rising friends. I'm talking like... 5:30am. And the first thing they do when they get there is complain that the bathrooms aren't open.

Of course they're not open. The park employees don't get to work until 7 and the facilities don't open until 9 at the latest because we only got two guys to unlock the whole city. Calm down. Go before you leave the house or get comfy with the bushes.

Well, someone gave the Head Complainer a key to the bathroom. Because we seem to reward this kind of behavior, I guess. So when I get to Madeline Park at like 8:30 the bathroom is already unlocked. But I still have to clean it.

Before I do that, though, I have to take care of the trash. Today, it is full to the brim with beer bottles. I'm pissed about this because it was clearly the pickleball folks who were drinking, which is illegal on the premises, but as previously mentioned- I'm not a cop.

But more than that I'm pissed that there's broken bottles in there, which is a hazard to me. I have to double bag the trash and be really careful or I'll have a sparkly glass shard bracelet.

I run my arm along the rim of the bag and it comes out...red? I didn't think I got cut. It is undeniably blood, but more notably it belongs to someone else.

Well, I'm washing that arm thoroughly. I scrub it off my arms in the women's room and use hand sanitizer, and then clean the bathroom while im there.

I go into the men's room to do that one next. There is blood on the sink, the floor, and the toilet. And y'know, I'm used to blood in restrooms, I'm just not used to blood in the MEN'S restroom. It's not like... a fatal amount of blood, but more blood than should be outside of a person.

Well, that's no good. I clean it up, but it's eating at me that I've already encountered human blood twice and it's not even 9 yet. So I go over to the Head Complainer and I ask him:

"Hey uhhh... there was a lot of blood in the men's room. Is everyone alright? Do I need to file an accident report?"

He gives me a good-natured laugh. "Oh, that's just Greg. He came over from Kauffman Park and I have to say- didn't like the rules he played by."

Oh my God what a vague and horrible answer. I cant tell if nes joking or not. "Is... is Greg okay?"

"Oh, ha hah ha! He's fine, he's just back at Kauffman Park where he belongs."

"Oh! Okay then. Ha...hahah..." Absolutely terrifying.

Day 7/50.

[corpsebasil]

The Pirate Lord Part 2

the future queen of Ravka doesn’t even know she’s going to wear a crown

You didn’t talk to him for almost two days.

He practically chased you around, vying for your attention as you avoided him like the plague. He’d lied. And not a white lie—Sturmhond had lied about his entire identity. His life. Well, you supposed, not Sturmhond. Because your captain and lover, the man you wanted to marry, was Prince Nikolai Lantsov, the youngest prince of Ravka.

So you spent your hours away from him processing and memorizing the palace, ducking into random rooms and examining anything you were allowed to see. You had to admit, finding out you were sleeping with a prince wasn’t the worst shock of your life.

You’d smacked him, though. Pretty hard.

“Y/N,” a voice called and you turned to see Tamar approaching, her eyes comically wide as she did a small spin in the hallway. “not too bad of a hovel, is it?” She asked, letting out a low whistle.

“It’s ghastly,” you lied, smirking. “how will we ever survive this?”

“Same way we survive anything.” She mused, flicking a very expensive looking vase as she passed it. “Lots of rum. Lots.” Then she stopped, tilting her head at you. “You should talk to him. He misses you.”

“Talk to who?” You asked, a thread of annoyance in your tone. “Sturmhond, or Nikolai?”

“They’re the same man.” Tamar rolled her eyes, swinging her arm around your shoulders and pulling you down the hall. “Come on, Y/N. We didn’t go through all that hell on the waves just for you two to be pissed at one another.”

“He can apologize to me.” You said, indignant. “Eventually.”

“Saints save us all.” She grumbled, leading the two of you towards the hall for dinner.

-

Nikolai had told you the truth only after you’d docked and made your way into Ravka. And he’d done it in the most ridiculous way possible—simply removing his coat to reveal a second one underneath, smiling and holding his arms out comically to you. He’d even had the audacity to say “surprise” seconds before you whacked him hard on his good shoulder.

The arrow wound was healed, but his muscle was still tender.

Now he watched you at dinner, still sitting with his crew like he always did. The difference now was that the table was far more elaborate, and there was a very comforting lack of eggs and pickles. Tolya and Tamar sat across from you, bickering over Saints knows what, while Nikolai sat beside you as you pointedly ignored him.

“Y/N,” he began, tilting his head at you. You pretended not to hear him, picking at the bowl of fruit on your plate. Fruit for heaven’s sakes. You swore never to eat a pickle again. “Y/N, please, you wouldn’t have been with me if you’d have known.”

You glared down at a strawberry, spearing it rather aggressively with your fork. He sighed and turned in his seat, placing his hand near your arm, but not on it.

“Come on. You know that I’m right.”

Tamar and Tolya were suddenly very, very interested in their own plates, the rest of the crew busying themselves with literally any topic that came to mind. You could’ve sworn someone mentioned how good the plumbing was and blocked them out.

“You don’t know that.” You said, voice cold as you shot him a look. “Everything the two of us have is based on honesty. How am I supposed to trust anything you say? You’re even acting different.”

“I cant be Sturmhond here, Y/N. I have to behave in a certain manner—”

“‘A certain manner’,” you sneered. “How royal of you.”

“You are still my Second, and the love of my life. Being a prince changes nothing—”

You stood up abruptly, almost knocking over a glass as you left the table. The crew stared, stunned, as Nikolai quickly followed, chasing after you out of the dining hall.

You stormed down the hallway towards the door that you knew led to the gardens, and past that, the lake. You’d barely stepped outside before he jumped in front of you, holding his hands out in supplication.

“Y/N,” he panted, walking backwards as you moved towards the lake, out of sight from the palace. You spotted some sort of gazebo in the distance, decorated with cushions and seemingly abandoned, and walked towards it. “Y/N, you have to believe me.”

“I don’t.” You gritted out, stomping over to the cushioned structure. “Have to do anything.” You plopped down onto the cushions, splaying out in a very messy manner. You huffed as you looked up at the ceiling, at the marble arches. “Don’t lie to me ever again.” You ordered, tossing the prince a glare.

He had the audacity to roll his eyes as he sat down beside you, shrugging off his heavy jacket and tossing it aside.

“I told you I wouldn’t.” He said, tilting his head. “But I swear I won’t. Scouts honor.” He held out his pinkie and you snorted, hooking your own through his.

“That’s a very powerful oath, Sturm—” you paused, eyebrows furrowing. “Nikolai.”

“Actually, that’s Nikolai Lantsov—Major of the Twenty-Second Regiment, Soldier of the King’s Army, Grand Duke of Udova, and second son to His Most Royal Majesty, King Alexander the Third, Ruler of the Double Eagle Throne to you, Second.”

“You’re insufferable.” You scoffed, but smiled at his familiar smirk, that mischievous light in his eyes back. “Don’t…act in front of me. I know that you have to be all posh and regal or whatever in front of the others, but not in front of me.” You frowned a bit, unsure of why it hurts to say these things to him. “I fell in love with Sturmhond.”

He swallowed, looking away from you, and sighed.

“You might love him,” he said, softly, his eyes still refusing to meet yours. “but I love you. And I had hoped that that would’ve been enough.” He gave you a look, a calm look that masked his pain and heartache, and you regretted your words the moment he moved to rise.

“No, I—” you grasped his arm, rising onto your knees as you tugged him back down. “I do love you. I do. I’m just going to have to get used to the changes, that’s all.” You knew your expression was pleading, and still you pushed on. “Just two days ago you were a pirate. This is a big switch for me.”

“Privateer.” He mumbled, but allowed a small smile to appear on his handsome face. “I’m sure you’ll adjust when you realize just how much I’m going to spoil you now that I’m in Ravka.”

You let a grin wash over your face as you tugged him forward by his shirt, pressing your mouth to his own. He laid you down eagerly atop the cushions, hands sinking into your hair as he kissed you.

“I love you.” He murmured, losing himself in the feel of you as you freed the prince from his clothes.

-

Your wedding had been an event to mark the century.

You’d had it on your ship, traveling all the way back to the ocean to marry your king. And as you kissed him, your crew and the guests clinking glasses and congratulating you both, the shell at the base of your collarbones lit up, sending tendrils of light and shimmering color across your skin.

“Queen of the seas.” Nikolai mused, glancing over at the water. Colorful fish could be seen under the surface, and when he took your hand and rested it on the rail, you could see the siren’s magic flowing all the way down your body. “I think the ocean approves, don’t you?”

You grinned, head still slightly heavier than usual from the crown that now rested upon it. It had been crafted by Nikolai himself, for you, and his outstanding powers of creation had made you a gorgeous pearl encrusted crown worthy of any queen of the seas. You turned to him, moving into his embrace as he grinned down at you.

“How do you feel about being a Queen?” He asked, raising a brow. His own coronation had been only a month before, an event at which you’d cried an embarrassing amount.

“I feel like being bedded by a king right about now.” You teased, wiggling your brows as he laughed.

“Am I to expect you to start giving me commands?” Nikolai tilted his head, tugging you closer. Nearby, Tolya was still celebrating, having had caught the bouquet. “You’re no longer my Second, you know.”

“You can start calling me Captain if you want.” You teased, leaning forward to press a long, soft kiss to his mouth. He was yours. Officially, now.

Although, you would force him to sail with you someday. Just for fun.

Yeet

[base0h]

Yknow i kinda feel like I live in ur ask box but I just cannot get enough of how you write 💟💟 I suppose I’m feeling mischievous because, how do you think the monster trio would react to you asking them to open a pickle jar because ‘you can’t open it’ but in reality you glued it shut as a prank 💀

a/n - anime you can live here rent free if you want 💜 oml everytime you request im excited!! your requests are so funny 😭

Warnings ⚠️ - crack, g/n reader

- idk if there’s a jar he can’t open but- you were determined to make this one absolutely impossible to open

- super glue always seemed to work, so you glued the cap onto the jar and ran over to find Luffy lying on the couch, napping away as usual

- you tapped his nose and he sat upright pretty quickly, rubbing his eyes

- “Hey Lu, can you open this for me? I cant open it.”

- He grinned, flexing his arms with a laugh, “Shishishi~ gimme it!”

- he took it and expected for the cap to fly off, but instead, it stayed put while his hand spun around the cap

- …

- the silence was so loud 💀

- “AGHHHHH WHY WONT IT OPEN?!”

- man tried opening it with his feet 💀 Idek if you wanna eat the pickles anymore bro

- he could easily break the jar, but he didn’t want to waste the pickles 😭

- while he was fuming about it in the corner, sobbing about how he’d become so weak because he can’t open the jar, you switched it out, grabbing one you had already opened before

- “Oh i got it, nevermind!”

- he literally shot up, staring at the open jar in your hands

- man was sobbing 😭

- “I’VE GOTTEN SO WEAK Y/N- I don’t even deserve to be your boyfriend anymore-“

- you felt so bad- so you ended up giving him the entire pickle jar to himself which made him forget about this incident

- you promised yourself never to do that again because he cried for a solid 45 minutes about how he wouldn’t be able to protect you anymore and how useless he is 🫠

- you could ask him anything and he’d do it without thinking twice

- a full 7 course meal? Please, that’s easy

- a whole bouquet of hand arranged flowers? Of course!

- opening a pickle jar would be nothing, or at least he thought so

- you decided it’d be funny to see his reaction if he couldn’t open the jar because you had glued it shut beforehand

- after you borrowed some glue from Usopp, you went to ask Sanji to open it

- “Hey Sanji, can you open this for me? I was gonna make egg salad!”

- he took it with a smile. The thought of eating the food you made fueled his motivation and strength to open this jar

- he was actually pretty confused why it wouldn’t open when he tried to screw it off

- he tried several more times before he hurriedly rushed off to the kitchen, ransacking the drawers for a jar opener, pliers, anything

- he did literally everything- banging the jar against the counter, using the pliers, twisting it with the jar opener, and at one point, he held the jar opener so tight that he broke it in half😭

- he even tried stabbing a hole in the top!

- nothing succeeded

- he was at this for about 15 minutes 💀

- when he came out with such a depressed look on his face, you couldn’t help but regret playing this little prank on him

- “Sorry- I couldn’t open it..”

- he was about to cry I swear 😭

- you gave in, how could you let him feel so sad?! It was just a joke after all-

- “It was a joke Sanji don’t worry- I glued it shut beforehand.. Sorry for joking about it-“

- 1, he was kind of sad that you’d play a prank like that on him. And 2, you really weren’t gonna make the egg salad?.. 🥺

- “Can you still make the egg salad though?”

- his eyes were sparkling- omfg how could you say no?!

- you made the egg salad for him with the other jar of pickles, and made sure to give him lots of hugs and kisses afterwards 💜

- you always made everything better. even if you’re the one who made things worse in the first place

- is there anything this man can’t do? he can’t take a shower or find the bathroom.

- anyways- there’s almost nothing that this man cannot do

- you’re a shit stirrer (affectionate) so you decided to superglue a jar shut, expecting him to struggle with opening it

- “Zoro can you open this? I cant open it.”

- he took it with a yawn and tried opening it the first try, and it wouldn’t budge

- man almost opened his other eye from shock, why tf wouldn’t it open??

- he kept trying it before he used his sword to slice he cap off quickly

- you were about to start wheezing, zoro couldn’t open a jar of pickles

- “Shut it y/n I know you’re laughing” that sent you to heaven and back omg you were on the floor, struggling to breathe

- “SHUT UP!”

- his pride was gravely wounded after this- roronoa zoro, defeated by jar of pickles

- he was sulking for a while, ignoring you like a big baby

- “Zoro it was a joke- it was superglued shut.”

- he pinned you against the wall, leaning close to your ear, “I’m gonna show you what happens when you play jokes on me like that.”

- his tone was almost a growl, and he started dragging you back towards the room

- this is when you realized, why weren’t you in the hallways by now?

- “ZORO- THE ROOM IS THE OTHER WAY DUMBASS!”

- “I- WELL- YOU DIDN’T TELL ME THAT.”

- “DON’T GET ALL SEDUCTIVE AND THEN FORGET WHERE THE ROOM IS YOU IDIOT 💀”

a/n - pls zoro is so dumb sometimes

[ugly-pickle]

Good morning, Pickle. My second request for the day. Please kindly consider this angsty Gorou request: Gorou can only watch as you exchange nuptial cups with Heizou. He know he has no right to stop the wedding, not when he was the one who broke up with you to woo Kokomi, only to find out later that she was only using him to get her parents off her back about her being single.

Please also kindly take as long as you need with this request; I have no qualms in waiting. Furthermore, by no means feel obligated to prioritize this request over your other requests.

regret ☆ gorou

CHARACTERS: gorou x reader

SYNOPSIS: gorou dumps you for kokomi (っ- ‸ - ς)

GENRE: angst 🦢

W/C: 0.8k

T/W: cussing, breaking up, cheating (if there’s any i missed let me know!)

A/N: bro i hate exams (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ ) my next one will also probably take eons to complete….

“WHAT THE FUCK GOROU.”

SMACK

you touch the now red mark on your face. it stings, but the ache in your heart is worse. “never talk about kokomi like that again,” gorou says with a stern tone. “tch, YOUR kokomi? i have never seen her look at you for more than 2 seconds outside of a meeting.” youre now pissed off due to gorou’s stupidity, but you cant help but feel a bit jealous, well, kokomi did just steal your lover’s heart with just a snap of her fingers.

gorou’s tail looks stiff, you notice that he does that when hes uncomfortable or angry, you take note of this. you might regret what youre going to say, but a river cannot stop flowing just because of a small inconvenience. you shall see where the future takes you. “if i upset you that much then i’ll leave. goodbye gorou,” you want to cry but your dignity tells you not to; you grab your wallet and head out the door.

before you completely close the door, you can hear a whimper, and it’s not yours.

it’s sunny outside, youre not sure if you should be grateful that theres no rain to make you feel worse, or if you should feel bad that the rest of inazuma is having a great time without you. although, no matter how clear the day was, you still manage to bump into someone.

“y/n? oh my archons, it is you! how have you been?” says the mysterious voice. “heizou?” tears are finally dripping down.

…

you slightly grip the cups in your hands, youre so excited that youre scared that the sake might spill. the moment slips by like a flash and youre already taking your last sip. you look up to see your husband, hes grinning ear to ear and so are you.

heizou looks so lovely when hes happy, but now you can see all of his emotions, whether if hes happy, sad, jealous, angry, disgusted, confused, you can see all of it and only you.

you look into the crowd, all of your friends and family are there, heizou’s side as well. theyre happy for you.

thats when you see gorou.

beside him was Sangonomiya Kokomi, Divine Priestess of Watatsumi Island, what a mouthful, not to mention how bitter the title tasted in your mouth. gorou’s tail was stiff, you wonder why; his eyes were also glistening, such pretty eyes shouldnt cry….

WAITWAITWAIT

nononono, youre literally having your wedding ceremony right now, what are you thinking?…

your wedding ceremony has ended, you and heizou are now officially married.

gorou’s perspective:

“gorou? are you okay?” kokomi asks, “u-uhm yea, im fine,” gorou stutters a bit. what if he was the one up there with you. what if he was up there exchanging nuptial cups with you.

“hey kokomi?” gorou asks, “yes gorou?” kokomi responds, “im gonna get some fresh air, i’ll be right back,” kokomi nods her head, gorou presses a kiss on her forehead then exits.

he feels guilty. he kissed kokomi while thinking about you, no, he thought about you every waking second and you even appeared in his dreams. a few tears roll down his eyes. is he happy for you or jealous of heizou? all of these emotions swirling around him, and he cant tell which one hes feeling.

he feels a hand in his shoulder. he jumps, hes a bit startled, it’s you…

you look so lovely, the fabric, the design, the jewels, and just the everything made you look heavenly. he picks up a scent that he always longed for, it was yours, he just never realized it.

“were you crying gorou?…” he feels more tears coming up, did he miss you that much?

“congratulations y/n, uhm… we ended on a bad note, look i just wanna say that ‘m sorry.” a small smile appears on your face, “apology accepted, that was the past, lets focus on the present,” you gently squeeze gorou’s hand. “lets catch up some other time, yea?” you said, “y-yea,” and with that you disappeared. he feels empty.

“there you are!” kokomi’s voice rings through his ears. “m-my love!” gorou says, becoming stiff again, “look gorou, we need to talk,” her words feel stiff, uncomfortable even. “of course! anything! what do you need to talk about?” gorou asks.

“…lets split up gorou.”

….

“eh?” hes dumbfounded. “lets break up,” nonono this cant be happening, “why?… i thought you were happy, were you not?” gorou’s life was already falling apart, this was just the breaking point. “look, gorou, i have strict parents that expect me to produce… offspring, i would like to label this event ‘traumatic’ so they’ll stop bothering me for the time being. my condolences.”

why bother anymore?

NOTE FOR SAILORSTAR9: i literally had no idea what nuptial cups were before this （´∇｀''）

TAGLIST: @sailorstar9

[thithesandofferings]

Title: Be-comings of Ardor- pt. 3

Synopsis: Raian is tired of waiting.

Tags: 18+ MDNI. Choking. Raian being nasty as per usual. Masturbation. PnV Fem! Reader, whos absolutely obsessed with Raian.

Authors Note: Tumblr made me repost this twice and im so heated. Thank you @hoe4rairai for the gif because they wouldnt let me do anything else... This was supposed to just be practice but- yknow some things dont always pan out that way

Part 1

Part 2

"C'mon- take my cock Master" He sneers. Its mocking and it only makes you clench tighter. "Cant-fuck- thought you could take me" Raian grins maniacally when he fucks roughly into you at the same pace as your hiccuping cries. Its about time he got you to shut up. All those desperate looks and stupid fucking questions just to have you exactly where you belong. Underneath him. Worshiping him with your tight wet cunt.

"All that big bad hero talk and now you're whining in my pillow"

"Hips up, I want to dig deeper into whats fucking mine. C'mon" He's laughing gleefully as he fucks into you, hips bruising from the force of his cocking driving into you. "You said 'please' so take what i fucking give you".

You dont know how much you can take, he's already come inside you more times than you care to count. Heated and slick and gushing out of you in embarrassing squelches, but you still hold your hips higher for more. No matter how badly they're shaking.

"I know" Raian mockingly coos "Is it starting to hurt? Hm? My Master having a hard time taking her demons cock? You want a break?" You cant even consciously nod before he's yanking you up against his chest and pounding you harder. He's holding you by your throat, keeping you upright. You're useless to try and do anything else. Warmth pulsing around him at his words. Doesn't help that he's right. And that you want him to keep going.

"Asking all those stupid-shit you're tight" fucking questions" He's growling as he moves your bodily so easily the way he wants, pressing you back down into the bed and holding your neck firm as he grounds into your g-spot. Laughing over your sobbing

"It's what you get for blue balling me all this time. You know what you did- so you'll be punished for it. Be grateful that your cunt even gets my cock"

Maybe you shouldn't have teased him for so long.

It starts small. Things of this nature usually do. Pieces of puzzles clicking and echoing in victory when they are launched into each other. It makes sense. Those pieces. For you and your demon are one in the same now. Hearts synced to beat together no matter location or time. It slows when you drift off to a dreamless slumber, and very nearly beats out of your bones when it trips over itself to catch needed blood flow. All you can think of is him. Every waking moment catches the scent of his ash. Makes the words clog through your throat when he walks pass. Tongue heavy with an itch that needs to feel- to taste.

You think at some points he very well may be able to read your mind. But it wouldn't be surprising when your souls are encapsulated to one another. The heated looks begin, and for days you feel scorched and burned. It wouldn't be so bad if you didn't return them in tenfold. You are unashamed at your desperate perusal over his body whenever you get the chance. Though you don't say much and you're strong enough to not need protection, when you do ask him things- it gets his blood bowling. His cock throbs when you look up at him and ask if he can open a fucking jar.

You? A human that has murdered countless of your kind just to greedily get your hands on him. You ask, pretty and pouting when you look up at him, if he can open a jar of pickles for you. Knowing that if you squeeze lightly, you could break the whole jar. It nearly makes him want to bend you over the counter, fuck that cute expression of faux helplessness into sobbing cries of his name. He doesn't care if there are onlookers. Let them see the demon claim his prize.

But he wont do it just yet, he wants to see what his quiet little master will do. Wants to see if you'll beg for it.

You didn't know why you were teasing Raian. He was in fact, a literal demon. But you couldn't seem to get passed the power trip of you having a practical shadow by your side. After the match you two were pretty inseparable. He was just a hair breath a way at all times. Except when you slept. Raian practically let no one touch you on the battlefield. Or anywhere really. The growling would begin and the heat would start to permeate through his hands. And you were not pressed to stop him. The Kure clan hardly gave you looks anymore and they practically ran to get out your way. And you're perfectly fine with that. Even getting closer to him just so you can have your piece and quiet.

It becomes a problem. Him. Raian. He becomes a problem. An insufferable tease. Passing by you so closely, just so you can feel him drag his weighted length against your back. Doesn't even say excuse me. You find that you don't want him to. He's a dick to you, but that really is just part of his nature, not something you can help when you're one of the most powerful demons on Earth. He makes you feel dirty for just staring at him. Especially because you know that he knows how much you want him.

You find that at night its keeping you awake. Heart racing, but you know its not your doing. Its his. You can hear him through your shared wall. One forced upon you once you got the demon. You hear the heated hiss and growl. Hitting his head on the wall when you know he's grabbed his cock tight. Slick sounds permeating both your rooms. He's vicious, talking to you through the wall. Knowing you're listening. "cant wait till i get my hands on that little cunt of yours" "Been practically begging me with those stupid eyes" "I'm going to fuck you into the ground, but i wanna hear you beg before you do it"

You don't really help your case, especially when you whine against his groans. Clenching your thighs when he talks like that. No one has ever spoken to you so disgusting before. So ashamedly. You've never had someone want you to this degree. You shouldn't be so excited about this prospect, but you were never the most sane to begin with.

When you finally get up the courage to go to the demon, he's talking to some of his clan members. You stand there, staring at the purpling veins clinging to muscle under his skin. Blonde hair damp from one of the fights he'd been in. Perusing and devouring his figure so greedily, you don't care if anyone notices. He's mid sentence, giving instructions that make your tummy quake, when you utter the word please.

The archaic demon freezes at your soft utter, you cant tell if the followers even heard you. He shoves them out of the way just to come as close as possible, chests touching and it almost scares you. How much his smile is so wide its cracking his face, his eyes turning red in the need to devour.

He quick to grab your face, you dont even try to stop it. You're tired of waiting.

"Knew it'd be a matter of time before you fucking begged for it."

[kumezyzo]

Hii !! You’re fics are so good I’m really annoying them :D could I request some dad foolish I never see much on him !

hiii, thank youuuu!! and to preface, i have a very little understanding of foolish as a person. not in a bad way, just in a fic writers way. so if this is terrible, i am SO sorry. I've diagnosed him as a really cute and bubbly type. and i have NO IDEA how he speaks. so that's my bad if this is ass.

anyway, enjoy! or dont :) m.list

pre-dad!foolish who announces to his stream that your pregnant by just having you come in with your six month old bump.

his chat is very very confused when they see you pregnant. they think its a joke until they realize that neither of you are joking.

pre-dad!foolish who cuddles you in bed, rubbing your bump happily. he knows how much pain the skin of your belly can get, so he rubs and massages you whenever he can.

pre-dad!foolish who likes kissing your belly and getting a little kick in response from your baby.

pre-dad!foolish who tries your pregnancy cravings with you. his immediate reaction is to gag at the odd mix of flavours, but then feels bad and tries to say something positive about it.

"what, you don't like it?" you ask him teasingly as you take a bite of your pickles and whipped cream.

"no, its good," he tried to say with a straight face. but his wobbling bottom lip and the crease in his brow gave it away.

pre-dad!foolish who tries his best to be completely calm when you finally go into labour.

dad!foolish who can't let go on your little girl when she's born. hes always hugging her and giving her little kisses.

he had the biggest smile on his face as he holds your daughter close to him. you watch from your spot on the hospital bed with a soft smile.

"hey, my pretty baby," he coos softly, admiring her sleeping face. then he looked up at you, smiling even wider, "hi, my other pretty baby."

dad!foolish who you will find cuddled up on the couch with your daughter. she's laid flat on his chest, gripping his shirt in his little fists. the sight alone makes your heart melt.

dad!foolish who likes kissing and kneading at the loose skin on your stomach.

"thank you for giving me my beautiful daughter," he says right up against your belly. he's mentally directing it to your uterus.

"you're welcome?" you say in confusion, running a hand through his head when he kisses you softly. but you do like to say, he helped you not be self conscious of the loose skin or your stretch marks.

dad!foolish who introduces your daughter to his stream very quietly because he chose to do it while she was sleeping.

"guys, look at her!!!" he whisper yells, turning to let the camera see her face drooling om his shoulder. you're sitting in his chair, watching with a smile on your face. "she's so cute!!!"

dad!foolish who cant help but feel so happy when he sees his two girls happy and healthy.

the dividers arent my favourite colour but we're gonna run with it. i really do hope yall liked this. and that it makes some sense for who he is as a person... -nony

[bakiuwu]

This chapter is fucjing me up bad, he started off the convo, bringing up how his abilities caught up to his body. It's like he was trying to impress yujiro. Like a kid trying to show off to their parent, then for yujiro to acknowledge him, cause he's able to tell by how he holds himself. Then, to tell him it's not perfect, only to follow it up with "but you're getting there"......I can't do this.

And look how he looks at him......omg, it like he's shocked that yujiro sees his growth......I can't do this

It is so werid seeing yujiro being.....kind? to Jack epically since after what happen between the two of them after baki and Jack's fight, and even after that, he doesn't seem to have anything to say to him or about him. Especially during the pickle arc, where he calls jack a pathetic loser along with evryone else, when everyone broke in to meet pickle( he didnt even bat an eye at him)

Yujiro acts like he only has one child and that child being baki. Even when Tokugawa brings up retsu,katsumi, and Jack's fight with pickle, saying how he doesn't see how baki could win if thoes 3 lost to pickl. Yujiro responded saying "thoes 3 have nothing to do with baki," then saying baki has his blood and that he's a Hanma. Then, when Tokugawa says, (Jack also has your blood. He just brushed it off saying "hes not pure." So, seeing him be so........normal to him while showing dislikement towards him is crazy

Yujiro brings up a quote from Musashi: "In Confrontation, you have to postion yourself above your enemy Musashi". He brings up how Jack getting taller is a shortcut of being over his enemies

look at his expression. He looks hurt. Even tho he hates yujiro, he still cares about his opinion. For him to repeat what yujiro said, then to ask, "Do you dislike it?" He sounds like a kid, a kid who cares deeply about his parent opinion, a kid who doesn't want to disappoint his father.....his facial expression....his body language. It looks like he slowed down a bit while walking like he needed a minute to register what yujiro just said to him.

It's not far off to say Jack cares about yujiro opinions about him to some degree. When Jack lost to pickle for a second time, he could only think of the last words yujiro spoke to him

"Resonate in his heart" i remember reading tha for the first time and wanting to die omg, but seeing him reacted like this isn't surprising, it's very clear how effective yujiros' words are towards him, and how even if trys to not care about yujiro opinion of him, a part of him deeply cares. Every child wants the approval of their parents even if they hate them.

After Jack asks him if he dislikes it, yujiro says, "I can't bring myself to" which made me threw myself against the wall.....LIKE I JUST CANT AND WHATS MAKES THIS WORST...

IS JACK FACE,HE WAS PROBABLY WAITING FOR YUJIRO TO RIP INTO HIM ABOUT HIM GETTING TALLER AND HIS WHOLE FIGHTING STLYE OVER ALL BUT NO

Yujiro beings to.....praise Jack......omfg itagaki I swear to go-, saying that what's he's doing isn't easy, how he dealt with humiliation and pain. HOW HE IS THE ONLY MAN WHO HAVE EVER STEP HIS FOOT INTO THE TURE WORLD OF BITTING, THIS IS SO BITTERSWEET BUT FINALLY HES GETTING HIS FOLLOWERS HATE THAG YUJIRO IS THE ONE GIVING HIM PRIASE.....but for him to say he has a rare purity.....oh I'm sick....like.....WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME

..........this panel killed me......its so......idk even know man, the way yujiro looks at Jack cause he stop walking but the way hes looking at him......his eyes are so soft......, then Jack....my baby Jack, my sweet baby......I can tell that he's trying to keep his composure.......the way he's noting even looking at yujiro, cause he knows of he looks at him.....he'll break out In tears.....oh my God and what says "....thats the first time....you've ever complimented me".........itagaki when I catch you......ow

Idk why, but him saying that really fucks my heart so bad......i dont even know what to say I'm so fucking sad right now. No one ever gives itagaki credit for how good of a writer he is, mans is able to yank your heart strings out if he wants, This is probably my favorite chapter....the mood of it is so....calm and idk, but If this was able to fuck me up bad, just imagine how I'm be when more Jack lore come out

But once again, I'm just rambling my ass off . Also, God, im so dramatic😭

[leafybfdia]

ii2 ep 16 act 1 spoilers

um so this act has utterly decimated me. i had work to do yesterday and i found myself completely unable to do any of it. i woke up this morning and my first thought was about this episode. i went out today and all i could think about was this episode. i came home and ate and had to take a nap because my head hurt from thinking about this episode. i slept for 3 hours and dreamt of ii. ive done nothing today except think about ii2 ep 16 act 1. i didnt even act like this when firey revived leafy and i literally go insane over any leafy crumbs. point is i think i need to talk about it to release me. this is just gonna be my speculation for some things. ok? ok

the contestants

ive seen people debating about whether cobs is lying about mephone making the contestants but i think hes genuinely telling the truth considering the fact that 1. they glitch at the end and 2. the foreshadowing and 3. brian and co have been laughing it up over at animationepic hq or wherever LOL. but one thing i do think is worth discussing is whether or not mephone was even like consciously aware of what he was doing. i thought it was heavily heavily implied that he didnt realize (considering that when cobs asks “why did you do it?” hes like huh whuh) but then brian tweeted this

but then again he could be fucking with us. like you never know. and also i mean the question WAS pretty vague.

PERSONALLY im team subconscious. i think the writers are trying to hurt us and subconscious would hurt more.

another thing to mention is that the settings of inanimate insanity are very likely made up considering that the s2 location has literally prime shimmer planet eggs or whatever as hills in the background, and the island in iii is called “inanimate island” iirc. the same alliteration cobs mentions. and of course it could just be some pre-existing island that he renamed himself for the show but at this point i feel like anything is possible

whos real and who isnt

so that leads to this. who the hell is made up then??

i genuinely wanted to argue that bow could be real considering the fact that she came into the show on her own against mephones own wishes and also cant be revived but if team subconscious is right then it would have been possible for mephone to just have made her up too so like… i dont know. I dont know… it’s scary….

oh and that leads to another thing i kept seeing

the “bow is a prime shimmer” theory or whatever that i keep seeing

… guys im going to be honest i think we’ve reached the point of delirium. on one hand i vaguely understand where these ppl are coming from since bow made a prime shimmer sound and the egg that 3gs gave to cobs was pink (and i saw someone say it had a bow symbol on it but i just couldnt see it????) but i otherwise… dont see it? she doesnt look like a prime shimmer guys. sorry. anyways

mephone x

good goddamn lord. so get a load of this guy.

one thing i havent really seen people talk about is how only the specific targets can see mephone x and no one else. of course this is like WTF! before it’s revealed that everyones “not real” but like. i mean it’s assumed that cobs is the one controlling this thing. idk if this thing has agency and is just following cobs orders or if its just a vessel for cobs to control or what but it really begs the question as to like. how can he make mephone x be invisible to everyone else? are the contestants “made up” in the sense that theyre just code, and hes entering the mainframe or whatever? like. im assuming thats what it is but like Oh My God? and what the fuck is going on with his targets?

everyone keeps saying that like ohhh hes targetting those who were in the middle of talking with others but i dont think thats necessarily the case. i think thats just for the drama. even though it’s been said that it’s up for interpretation if guava and soap were killed too i at the very least think guava is dead dead since his disappearance was mentioned before even pickle died. starfruit says that guava just “ditched” so he wasnt talking to anyone. i genuinely think anyones fucked. speaking of which:

is the death thing permanent

honestly? im scared to answer this. on one hand im like well no these characters have important arcs they need to fulfill but on the other hand i feel like we genuinely may be hit with the madoka magica treatment here where death is sudden, unexpected, permanent, and terrifying.

my biggest fear is the ending being like everyone coming to terms with the fact that theyre not real and just fading away like they got thanos snapped or something. but i think soap and mics interaction is foreshadowing. soap deletes a picture of them together and opens the recently deleted pictures album and goes “oops, missed a spot!”. i think toilet, oj, pickle, nickel, and potentially soap and guava are in some kind of digital trash can right now and can still be saved. chat i have to believe

box

so. rememebr box you guys.

… i dont think hes “the first victim” or whatever. although it is an interesting theory

people seem to be able to communicate with box? which makes sense since theyre all made up and if box is made up too then well theyre like all the same guys. but like… his whole not reacting thing is mentioned too so. i mean. huh?

i dont remember if bot ever interacted with box before he got injured too. and im too tired to rewatch the first parts of season 3. but them interacting with box would have implications since they were like the only confirmed contestant so far that mephone hasnt made himself

toilet

oh yeah hes fucked. he has been fucked for YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!! we just finally got confirmation that like yep no that man is DIED. although it confirms that toilet too isnt real which makes my whole “is bow real” thing kind of a stretch since he didnt like bow or toilet and yet they were still there

of course his carcass wasnt shown so it’s like ohh maybe he just got kidnapped or whatever.

and also adam was being controlled by cobs, and adam DID hire toilet… IS toilet real? if he isnt then did another mephone make toilet for cobs so he could send him out?? im in so much pain

honorable mentions and misc

- test tube and fan making bot is made slightly better because they didnt realize both bow and marshmallow were still. “alive”. bows not really alive though but you know what i mean. STILL DOESNT EXCUSE IT THOUGH

- do you think mephone made santa because of his childish whimsy and joy. like he wanted santa to be real so bad. Guys im sorry im not rewatching that episode i dont remember what even happens

- the season 3 contestants being at the hotel is… it’s not IMPOSSIBLE i guess since oj knows them. still frightening. they like literally spawned in it was the scariest shit ever. i remember when i was at the meetup i noticed that candles asset used in the theater etiquette video was season 2ified and i was like LOL thats a little unnecessary. like the face and limbs sure but the asset itself? Anyways yeah no that was completely necessary.

- according to brian the plot twist was planned since 2015 at the latest, so around the episode “theft and battery” when cobs is first shown. do with that what you will.

- ballpoint pens resemblance to cobs was not a funny coincidence.

- i genuinely got scared that mephone was confirmed to be a babys or something but as im rewatching it like 20 times yeah no i think cobs is just infantilizing him. Can i be honest mephone has always had old man voice to me

- do you think mephone made springy so he could feel like he had a normal childhood. sniffle

- bot, the one contestant he didnt make, was his favorite. Do with that what you will.

- no i dont think suitcases psychosis was her just “seeing reality as how it is”. i feel so bad for suitcase especially btw. im team suitcase i always have been they could never make me hate her.

- walkie talkie. FUCK

my predictions

- lightbulbs a goner im so sorry. lightbulb was literally trending on twitter earlier idk if it still is but shes FUCKED. she has the X on her face in the thumbnail and shes a fan favorite. someones gonna argue with her like ohh you cant make this positive lightbulb and then shes gonna be like Chat whats that sound… (she would say 100% say chat. to me)

- the rest of the season 3 contestants HAVE to be shown. theyre involved in this too man. clover fluttering away on her butterflies to whereever she went after she got eliminated and im like THIS INVOLVES YOU TOO. GET BACK HERE

- mephone will deny that he made everyone up but as he begins to doubt himself everyone will start glitching out

- i think bot will be called in here. cobs cant do shit to them mephone x wise

- no one wins here. even if they do get physical with cobs and suitcase idk beats him to death with hammers. idk if theyd show deatj and dying on screen but it’s like. ok but then what. youre still made up by mephone. take those million dollars if mephone even has the fucking money. what then. literally what then

- i wanted to say maybe mephones realization of his creation skills lets him create something or someone powerful enough to defeat cobs but like. you know. mephone x. then again though like you never know. thats the one thing here. if you know something no you dont

- 40 min fantube makeout scene thats unskippable because the entire time cheesy is in the background with a blank expression stating important plot related facts with no hint of emotion whatsoever

tldr

[i-cant-stop-fandoming-help]

Uno reverse! Tell us all about your dra/sdra2 shipping brainrots

If this means headcanons, here ya go!!

Ayakane;

-jesus christ ayame stop swinging your girlfriend around in circles she is DIZZY

-they cuddle a LOT.

-akane has a habit of beating herself up over little things. Ayame hugs her and kisses her and praises her to combat it.

-akane cheers for ayame at every race!

-when ayame had to retire due to the issue with her hamstring, akane did everything in her power to cheer her up. (She even offered to save up money so Ayame could get a surgery)

Terurei;

-teruya has many nicknames for rei, including; "mekamei(combination of Mekaru and Rei)", "my darling owl", "my beautiful goddess", "teddybear", and "honeybun".

-rei just calls him "Otori". Even though they've been married for a year and a half.(she does think of him as her incompetent, though)

-teruya shows his love with llloooots of gifts. Rei shows it by cuddling up to him and falling asleep on him.(he didnt realize this until post-marriage.) (Before they started dating, she would fall asleep against him, and that was the best way she could show affection)

-he proposed to her at the foundation beach party.

I have so many others but ive posted them before so.

Tsurei;

-divorced

-rei carries around a bag of pistachio shells to throw at him.

-they were dating because rei had fallen in love (briefly) and tsurugi was reminded of yuki via her short hair.

-they hate eachother now

Kinjomae;

-tsurugi isnt typically one for nicknames, but he does call yuki(dra ofc) "carrotcake" and "pumpkin"

-tsurugi still blames himself. He will never stop blaming himself.

Soruko;

-cuddles. Lots of cuddles.

-as soon as yoruko was able to get into contact with a sora(via computer), she just spilled everything.

-when sora was able to get a robotic body, yoruko jumped into her arms and almost started crying.

-sora does all the cooking. Yoruko cant cook.

Kakenata;

-both of them have a hard time saying that they love eachother.

-Kanata is the one who tells the worker that kakeru asked for no pickles.

-they hold hands :3

Ryudori;

-most affectionate thing they can do is hug eachother. Kissing? Absolutely not. hand holding? Illegal.

-after keisuke nearly shot Midori, ryutaro became really clingy and wouldnt stop checking in on her.

-minako had to force them to tell eachother that they loved the other, because she was getting second hand embarassment.

Uhhhhhh im so eepy. Hang on ill reblog this later with other ship hcs.

[power-chords]

Have you ever been “in a pickle”?

Then you have encountered Rotwelsch, an ancient language of the road, spoken by vagrants and refugees, merchants and thieves since the European Middle Ages. This tongue was based on a combination of German, Yiddish, Hebrew, a smattering of Romani (the language of Sinti and Roma, pejoratively known as Gypsies), Czech, and Latin—and was incomprehensible to all but initiates.

I was inducted into this strange language during my childhood in Southern Germany. My earliest memories were of strange figures, dressed in long coats that had lost their original colors, who showed up at our door with bags slung across their backs. When it rained, they smelled, and my mother wouldn’t let them inside the house. “I know what you want. Wait. I’ll be right back,” she would say.

Lingering near the door, I would hear noises from the kitchen, my mother fixing open-faced sandwiches. While they ate, she remained standing on the threshold, guarding the house, trying to make conversation. I had trouble understanding them because they spoke a strange dialect, mixed with words I didn’t know. When they had finished, my mother would take the empty plate from their hands and close the door, relieved that the encounter was over.

“Who are they?”

“They don’t have a home. We’re giving them something to eat.”

That didn’t answer my real questions. I wanted to know why: Why didn’t they have a home; why were we giving them something to eat; and why did they have such a strange way of talking?

Later, I asked my father about these men and their language. “They are Travelers,” he said.

I didn’t understand. “Where are they going?”

“They are people of the road, escaping to nowhere.”

My uncle eventually figured out why these travelers kept showing up at our house. One day, he found a sign discreetly carved into the foundation stone, a cross with a circle around it, which meant that there was bread to be had here. The signs were called zinken, a word derived from the Latin signum. But the language was Rotwelsch, also known as kochemer loshn, an adaptation of the Hebrew khokhem, which means a wise person and loshn, tongue, or language.

It was a language of those in the know, the lingo of the wise guys. These signs and words pointed to an underground of traveling people; a world hidden away from view. Over centuries, outcasts had developed this secret world, with its coded lingo, to protect themselves from a world hostile to strangers (Rotwelsch means beggar’s cant). Their special language bound migrants together, because it distinguished those who belonged to the road from those who didn’t.

[bellamer]

Drew Pickles and Dillanne. Pickles was hard as fuck to draw and I am terrible at drawing kids so like Dillanne didn’t come out perfect either but there

More things about her and her relationship I guess:

- When Dillanne was born, Charles searched for her other father and found him in hopes of convincing Pickles to give her to him, making the other father sign an NDA and then paying him off to take care of the problem (it took forever for him to warm up to her since he kinda has a job to make sure accidental babies can’t stick around) . Only to find out that her other father had been killed a week after sleeping with Pickles when a Duncan Hills Coffeehouse was struck by a massive earthquake that killed everyone inside. The man also had no other relatives they could pawn her off to.

- When she gets older she develops kiddie glaucoma at around five and instead of letting her straight up smoke like Pickles did as a kid, Charles manages to convince Pickles to let her ingest just a little tiny bit of an edible that’s just enough to lower her eye pressure because for some reason Dethklok’s scientists can’t find a cure for glaucoma.

- When Dethklok is drinking and partying, when she’s not with her Klokateer nannies, she likes to sit in Charles’ office because it’s quiet. He’ll give her a coloring book, some graham crackers and a juice and just let her sit there because she stays quiet

- When she’s older she gets home schooled for security and safety reasons because who knows what dark organization is going to try to kidnap her or something.

- When she was one, she once managed to wander outside towards a pack of yard wolves and when Pickles’ noticed she was gone and had made her way outside, he saw red stuff on the grass and he thought his daughter had been mauled to death by the yard wolves but no, the yard wolves were being friendly with her and the red stuff was a jelly packet she had grabbed from the kitchen and the yard wolves were licking it off of her.

- She’s used as another reason by Pickles’ parents as to why he’s a failure since, he’s a single parent because, in his mom’s words “At least Sethy is married and raising his child in a two parent household !” when Seth is always out drinking and partying in Australia and Amber barely looks up from her phone to pay attention to the kid. And even though Pickles dotes on his daughter Molly still considers him a failure because he’s a single parent.

- Her favorite uncle is Skwisgaar because, in her words, “Uncle Skwis looks like a princess”. Skwisgaar absolutely hates it but cant say no to her when she asks to play Princesses. He reluctantly agrees but only if he gets to be a Queen instead of a princess

- Toki is her second favorite uncle because he always has toys in his room and is willing to play with her.

- Nathan is her third favorite uncle because he’s tall and lets her ride on his shoulders. It got her to stop crying when Pickles was hungover and she ran away from her nannies and bumped into him. Now it’s just their thing.

- Murderface and her have a strained relationship because he absolutely doesn’t care for kids at all but one time when things got a little too rowdy at a meet and greet (she was there because her assigned nanny was violently decimated at that nights concert) unruly fan broke through security and managed to touch her and Murderface was the one to punch the fan in the face and get her away. So he cares a little.

- Despite the older family members issues, she’s actually pretty chill with Seth’s kid, who I have decided to name Cody. At family gathers she and Cody don’t have issues despite her grandparents treating him better than her because in all honesty, Cody doesn’t care for his Grandma’s constant doting and finds it annoying.

[legally-allowed-to-slime]

nah nah its fine shiny duo anon didnt even remember sending in that ask and was just busy but also during pearl's stream on monday she said 'i'm moving 40k blocks away just so i'm not neighbours with gem' like okay sure gem isnt even your closest neighbour? and then she said 'nah i cant do that. i need to bother her about pickles' like ok sure pearlo sure whatever u say

(also she has definitely seen shipping content there is no way she has not)

no way anon did she actually say that? HAHA if you have a timestamp i’d love to see it. she could’ve been talking about her flower shop, it’s right next to gem’s trident shop which i thought was a coincidence at first since it was chat who chose that location, but chat is also pearl’s biggest enabler so maybe not

i love how she uses the pickle thing as a somewhat more socially acceptable excuse to hang around gem more. it’s given us so much shiny duo this season

[konohamaru-sensei]

ooo! so many good questions! imma be greedy and ask, 36, 55, 86 & 99 ~ any or all pairings for the OC relationship asks ❤︎₊ ⊹

36. What is something that would break their hearts?

(omg moona if you see this there is something SOO good for sayuri and sou/sei but its a spoiler so i cant say but im internally screaminggggggggg)

Ok I'm going to answer for Ko. Falling in love is already a disaster but falling in love and then they guy disappears for 2 years? Absolute nightmare

55. Who spoils who? Does their S/O tolerate it? Do they secretly enjoy it?

Ok I'm doing tetsuyuri for this one because they are such a fun coupling with this :D Obviously Tetsu/roo is reaaaally spoiling sayuri, because that is so much more fun LOL she is so easily embarrased by nice words and compliments. She obviously complains every time, but she loves it actually

86. Who gives the best gifts? Who gives the more thoughtful? Who goes for expensive?

Sora is a master at gift giving. Every year she brings Yamato the coolest stuff. He is always trying SO HARD but its just no enough. Where does she get it from? how does she know him so well, damn it?

99. Who gives off "they said no pickles" energy?

Ten/ya is really the knight in shining armor for Marin so he'd be like "listen buddy thats rude of you to not take care of her and i will be very sternly angry with you know." of course wont beat anyone up, he is nice and all, but the class president WILL give you a talking down

[schrodingersbabe]

15, 20, 24 on the ask game

15. something you wish you could do but can’t?

i wish i could play p3re rn 😢 i also wish i could have infinite money JAJAJAJA

20. are you a leg jiggler?

absolutely but thats such a crazy way of phrasing it JAJAJJ yes i do… shake my leg…. idk if i Jiggle Legs….

24. frosted cupcakes or unfrosted cupcakes?

frosted 100%! i love frosting sm idc what anyone says its basically the best part of a cake. the more frosting the better. im like the person who’ll eat ur pickles except if ur that kind of boring idiot who’s like augh no… this frosting is way too sweet i cant eat it blugh!!! im like hehehe hand it over… yum