#who knows ! maybe we will get reconciliation

[ridiasfangirlings]

sarumi idol au where their character songs are like their actual single release so they are both getting dragged for only ever making songs about their exes (each other, ofc)

They are totally switching off writing about each other though, Fushimi’s first song being about Yata while Yata’s first one is more about Homra and then Fushimi’s second song is…a song while Yata’s second one is so very much about Fushimi. Imagine Fushimi and Yata originally being a duo until they join Homra’s record label, and then Fushimi ends up leaving the label before he can even debut. Yata’s first solo single, Wild Crow, is super energetic and released to major fanfare. While the song is largely a positive one his fans can’t help but notice that ‘I was scared of being betrayed’ line, of course it's well known on fansites that Fushimi left for a different label but no one knows how amicable that split was. The betrayal line sets off a flurry of rumors, like did Fushimi steal Yata’s songs and run, were they in a relationship and Fushimi cheated, whatever could this mean.

Then Fushimi debuts and I Beg Your Hate probably gets attention just for being such an uncommon song for an idol to sing. People immediately start wondering what it could be about, I imagine reporters or interviewers trying to ask Fushimi about it and he just shrugs and clicks his tongue. Naturally the fansites are just on fire because anyone who’s been following his and Yata’s career can guess exactly what that song is about. Especially if say some of his and Yata’s earlier songs when they were a duo mentioned things like the sharing headphones, like Fushimi’s left in all these callbacks that people recognize and it’s so clear this is a breakup song. It becomes such a huge deal that Munakata quickly writes In Love, In Love Summer Came for Fushimi in order to deflect some of the attention, though this just leads to people theorizing that okay so he’s trying to say he’s still in love right.

Yata releases some other singles after that and so does Fushimi, but eventually they have their big reconciliation that probably involves like a big emotional duet in front of legions of fans. When Yata later releases Ore-iro Rhyme it becomes a huge hit and it’s once again so obvious that he could only be singing about one person. The fact that this one isn’t a breakup song but a reconciliation one just makes it even more clear, of course Yata would sing this one after he and Fushimi made up. Imagine there’s even like an alternate version where Fushimi sings backup vocals or something too, fans of the two of them together buy multiple singles just to show how excited they are that these two have finally gotten back together.

[nicromancytarot]

WHO IS COMING INTO YOUR LIFE ROMANTICALLY?

This is a general reading based on a collective of people. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you don’t feel the pile resonates with you, don’t be scared to try another, if it still doesn’t feel right, that’s ok! Maybe our energies aren’t as connected and my readings are not for you.

I do these strictly for fun and educational purposes. I don’t change for these readings and I do not fake readings. I would tell you the cards I got but I pull like 20-30 cards each reading and that just slightly a strenuous task to write them all down lmao.

PICK A CARD READING

I asked my spirit guides what you need to know about the next person who is coming into your life romantically, pick a pile and find out what they had to say!

Pile 1 ———> Pile 2 ———> Pile 3

PILE 1

This person is embodying the energy of the king of cups, they are giving off much more masculine energy, this doesn’t mean that they are a guy, however this person is more in tune with their masculine, leadership side. When you meet this person, they will be going with the flow, allowing life to take them wherever, and coincidentally they will find you.

I am getting the feeling that this person is new to most, if not all of you. So I’m not seeing any exes or reconciliations in this pile.

This person seems to have been going through something which led them astray or possibly ended in them getting hurt, for some this may have been a breakup.

Around the time that the two of you meet, they’re going to act like a taster for you, they’ll give you these little moments with them, which leave you waiting for more, yearning for them to allow you in some more, but you only receive a drip, a dribble of what they could actually give you.

They’ll keep this going on for a while, keeping you interested and guessing, during this time they may have you lined up as an accomplishment or trophy, they may still have feelings for an ex, and have you as a second option.

It will take a while to get out of the situationship and bring yourselves to something more committed and long term, honestly I’m seeing around 6-8 months of no label.

All while it can absolutely end well, it can give you what you desperately want in a relationship, the agony and anticipation may turn to be too much for you.

For those of you who choose to walk away from this without letting it grow or become anything more, you are making a good decision, you’re embodying the queen of wands energy, you don’t need anyone to define you or make you any more worthy than you already are.

For those of who choose to stay, be careful of your heart, make sure to protect your dignity and don’t let this person get you down, you can build something beautiful with a lot of patience and determination, however you are always ok to walk away.

PILE 2

A lot of you are getting over something at the moment, I’m unfortunately getting an ex, someone from your past who I’m not too sure that you received closure from when you last saw or spoke to them.

I do see this ex coming back into your life, if they come back during mercury retrograde, dawg bin them, we are in no need of negativity during this time! However, for those who do not come back during this current moment, either you will contact them, or they will contact you. I do see that a lot of you have some stuff to talk out with this past person.

The closure conversation won’t exactly go to plan, you may be sucked in by their drama, trauma dumping or a poor attempt to get you back. I do feel as though you will entertain this situation for a little, perhaps not too long, but long enough for some emotions and feelings to arise again.

However on the other side of things, you have someone completely new, someone who is willing to give you things that this past person wasn’t able to supply for you. This person is coming in hot and heavy, they will be very direct about what they want with you.

I feel like you’ve always been the one to make the first move, or admit your feelings, this person will turn your life on it’s head, they will be honest, direct, real and just very straightforward about what they desire.

They may say something along the lines of not wanting to be with you until you’re over your ex, this could be a drunken confession where you try to tell them that you are, and they tell you you’re not. It will either end up with you crying into their hands as they cradle your head, or some hot and heavy make out session lmao.

This person is willing to wait for you, they will be on the sidelines for as long as you need them to be. It doesn’t seem like they will be letting go easily.

The ex person is giving me twin flame vibes, meanwhile the new person is a soulmate.

So it’s either out with the old and in with the new, or out with the new and back to the old.

The choice is yours.

PILE 3

You guys seem to have gone through some type of break up as well lmao, something which forced you to let go of someone that you cared a lot about. If it’s not a relationship, then it’s a situation that had you up at night upset and stressing.

During this time there was this one person that you would confide in, this person was there to rub your back while you cried, and tell you that everything was ok.

They watched you through your healing journey, helping you become one with yourself and your expression once again, help you build yourself up until you felt comfortable in your own skin. This person is a people watcher, especially when it comes to you, they’re observing to the point of writing down every little thing about you, you could ask this person the colour of your eyes, or how many freckles are on your face and they would be able to answer without a second glance. They know you like they know themself.

This person may call you their flower or petal, you may have a flower relating name, something to do with how delicately they view you, you’re like a piece of china to them, one wrong touch and you’d break. They don’t want to break you.

They metaphorically stand by your bedside as you sleep, protecting you from every scary dream, or any unwanted negativity that could come your way, they want nothing more than to protect you and keep your safe, it’s their purpose.

You are Barbie, and they are just Ken. (No gender affirmed)

This person will wait for the right time before making their move, and when they do, they will resume leadership and continue to look after you for as long as you allow them to.

This person will love you like you have never been loved before, they will caress every inch of your skin as though you were sculpted by the Gods, they want nothing more than for you to be theirs, and them to resume being yours.

Because they will always be yours.

[jamil-s-wifey]

If you're taking any scenario request. Maybe could I request funny/silly one where Leona and his S/O are married and live in the Royal Palace. Leona's S/O has gotten lost somehow in their own home and when found their response is "This place is too damn big I'm sorry!"

You have NO idea how much I love these types of fics! Wholesome crackheadedness at its finest✨ We love a spouse with 0 orientation skills. (I'd know, I get lost in supermarkets) This was ONE OF THE FUNNIEST THINGS I've EVER written. I hope you enjoy!

"What the actual fuck."

A turn here. A turn there.

Oh, would you look at that - the exact same vase you passed 5 minutes ago. But was that really the same vase? Or was it its evil twin, trying to further confuse you, only for you to get lost even more and die of starvation, eventually BECOMING ONE WITH THE PALACE...

God, whoever built this palace should have their head on a stake. Haha, that sounded a lot like the Red Queen of Hearts. Perhaps Riddle was rubbing off on you. You two did text occasionally since graduating from NRC.

Speaking of graduation, you married Leona. (yay!) And it's not like you weren't happy. Life was relatively peaceful. You two moved back to the palace. Arrangements had begun for you two to take over a certain part of Sunset Savannah, as something akin to a *Peerage. (They had their own name for it, you are currently far too annoyed to remember.) A lot of (semi-forced) communication set the road to reconciliation between the two brothers. (Admittedly a very long road. A road that puts Gulliver's travels to shame.) The Royal Family™️ accepted you with open hearts. (albeit a tad wary at first)

Really there was only one major problem.

The ROYAL PALACE IS LIKE A GODDAMN LABYRINTH. And that's rich, given your history of painting the white roses with Ace and Deuce in Heartsabyul's maze. So here you are, lost.

Scratch that.

Lost: again.

And all you wanted to do was find Cheka's room. You had a gift for the little cub.

"An architectural masterpiece, my ass. This is an architectural disaster. A disaster with a capital D. D for Vitamin D - what I won't be getting, because I'm trapped within these walls, where the SUN CAN'T REACH ME-"

Okay. Calm down. It's not that bad, sure there isn't a soul in sight, but you're bound to stumble upon somebody at some point, right? There had to be servants, or guards, or somebody! UNLESS! This is all an elaborate plan to get rid of you.

Aha! That must be it. The Royal Family wants you dead and they intend to make it seem like an accident! But Leona wouldn't allow that, right? He loves you! Dearly! You're his spouse, his one and only! Ah, cruel fate.

Is it just you...or are these walls moving in on each other. So this IS an assassination attempt! And you presented yourself on a silver platter. Good job, s/o. Splendid work. A royal for a few months and you're already about to be assassinated. Your name shall remain the book of "Dumbest ways to die." Goodbye cruel world-

"S/o."

Leona's voice rang through the empty hallway, "What are you doing out here."

Ah! And so tragedy was avoided once more!

"Leona, my LOVE! Thank God."

"Did you just- get lost in the palace... again?", his eyes read annoyance but his tone was teasing.

"It's not MY fault this place is so damn big, what do you need all this space for anyways? Indoor badminton? Hide and Seek or Die?"

"Definitely that last one. That's how we get rid of our enemies."

"AHA! I knew it! So this IS an assassination attempt!"

He simply rolled his eyes, pulling you towards him to wrap an arm around your waist and kiss you on the forehead.

"This isn't an assassination attempt. You did this yourself. It's called idiocy."

"You should build a better palace."

"What I should do is put a collar on you. With a tracking device on it. Like a pet."

"Oh, Leona~ Who knew you were into that~"

"Next time I'm leaving you here to rot."

"Then I'll haunt you to Hell and back."

He smirked, pinching your cheek as you were both making your way far from the cursed looping corridor.

"At least you won't be able to get lost."

"I told you, it's not my fault."

"Nah, of course not. The Palace is just cursed."

"EVIDENTLY."

You both knew this isn't the last time you'll be getting lost. And Leona was seriously considering the tracking device.

Perhaps he'd already ordered it too.

You were about to find out.

*Peerage - collective noun for titles like Duke, Duchess, Count, Earl etc. Comes from "Peers of the Realm" where one could hold one or more of these titles. It differs from monarchy to monarchy. THAT'S YOUR WORD FOR THE DAY FOLKS!

[uglyducklingofthe2000s]

I Ruin Everything - Charles Leclerc

Summary: Insecurities can strike at any time in any form. So when y/n broke up with Charles because of her own insecurities, she never could’ve known she’d cause insecurities for him.

Sad boy Charles activated. Reader gonna be grovelling. 

Themes: Break up (and aftermath), a bit of angst-ish?

Side pairing: Best friends/platonic!Max Verstappen x reader (we’re also going to say he’s single. Bye Kelly)

February

“I don’t understand.”

That was really the last response y/n was hoping for. But all the responses she was hoping for had no chance of being actually being what he said. Complete acceptance of the ending of a year long relationship out of nowhere (at least form his perspective) was never going to be taken with open arms and warm smile. She almost wishes he was angry and shouting at her, it’d hurt but at least she could walk away knowing he doesn’t want her around because she did this.

“We can work through this. I can help.” Charles states making her chest ache in a way that almost makes her sick. 

“No, we can’t. I don’t want this anymore and I’m not willing to drag you down when you have more important things going on...This is it, Charles.” Y/n murmurs before swallowing thickly. “I’m so sorry to do this to you. But it’s better this way, ok?” 

“No. Not ok.”

“You can’t stop this. It’s over.” Y/n states shaking her head before she smiles weakly and swallows at the sight of tears gathering in his eyes.

“I love you, how many times have I got to say it for you to understand I will stay?”

“It doesn’t matter how many times you say it. You can’t make me stay.”

Y/n swallows thickly then standing, holding herself steady despite feeling like she could collapse. 

-----

May

As if a break up before the season didn’t sting enough, the car isn’t half as good as the car they had last year and it’s showing in Charles’ performance and points. 

He’s shut out those who would usually be leaned on in the moments he struggles more and no one can get him to open up.

“He needs you, y/n.” Andrea states through the phone. 

“No, whatever he’s going through. The last thing he needs is me to come and make it even worse. Andrea, I can’t.” Y/n sniffles hating that she now knows the online coverage and small clips of him in interviews are genuinely reflective of his emotions. 

It was easy to talk herself into believing that he was better without her. Now all she wants to do is be there with him, to cling onto him. In truth, she needs him more than he needs her but maybe they need each at the base of it all.

“The next race is home in Monaco. He’s there now. Will you be leaving the country just to not be reminded of him.”

“Andrea.” Y/n mumbles earning a sigh.

“Think about it. Think about him.” 

Three months and that’s all she’s thought about. Day and night, Charles and regret clouds her thoughts like she’s stuck on a boat in an endless storm. 

“That’s all I think about, Andrea.”

The line cuts and Andrea curses knowing that his attempt to help his friend might have just made things head toward reconciliation or cemented that they will never reunite.

It’s obvious there was something wrong with y/n, even after the break up. Charles still hasn’t shut up about his theories, what he must’ve done to mess things up or what triggered the break up. Because still today, he doesn’t understand.

---

Showing up and shocking Charles isn’t an option when it comes to the Monaco race. She wants to wait until after. Either to congratulate, or as previously for every Monaco race he’s been in, consoling him. 

On this occasion, she had hopes of a redemption. They just needed to clean up on last year and then they could finally see him on a podium in Monaco. It didn’t even need to be a win. But, yet again, it didn’t happen.

Actually the moment the race finished, y/n had to wipe tears away for him. The penalty made it obvious the podium was out of reach unless at least 2 or 3 in front of him crashed out of the race. 

She found her way to the after party hunting through the crowds for Charles in hopes of helping but the moment she sees him. It’s already obvious it’s just too late for her. But on her way out she does bump into the winner of the date, having to stop and congratulate him.

“Y/n!” Max exclaims with a drunk laugh, he’s easily on his last legs and falls onto his old rival’s ex-girlfriend. “We haven’t seen you here for so long. Where have you been?”

Max actually introduced y/n and Charles, her and Max were friends for years before hand. Nearly even dated when he first came to Formula 1 when he was 17. But after one night together, it was decided they were the right fit as just close friends. 

“I uhh...I’ve been home.” Y/n laughs trying to hold up his weight but struggling till Daniel thankfully comes over and pulls the drunk dutchman off of her. “Thanks Daniel.”

“No problem.” Daniel nods with his bright grin before he looks over at Charles.“Did you speak to him?”

“Oh uhh...no but I mean he’s got someone, clearly I’m not needed.” Y/n smiles before Max tosses himself forward on her shouting that she needs a hug but it lands them both on the floor before Daniel can save her. “Max.”

“He misses you, we all see it.” Max whispers to his friend. “Celebrate with me if you don’t want to be there with him.”

“Will you get off me if I say yes?”

---

“Ok champion, let’s get you to bed.” Y/n laughs stumbling, they’re both pretty drunk and she is. Well in the best mood she remembers being in.

“Charles...Charles he loves you so much, y/n. He loves you and you love him.” Max slurs, the concern more for y/n than for Charles but he can see they’re both miserable.

“He’s moved on, Max.” Y/n whispers struggling not to cry. “It hurts.” 

“I know.” 

His hand links to y/n before they both pass out for the night on his bed. Not even having taken their shoes.

Morning rolls around at an unwelcome speed, y/n is in a cold sweat and the journey from Max’s bed to the toilet isn’t one she can recollect. Only waking up with her head on the pillow and then suddenly it leaning over the toilet bowl. All The alcohol reappearing in an unforgiving fashion.

“I have to go. But ah, thanks for last night. I think I needed some bestie time.” Y/n smiles lightly, moving to hug Max who holds her tightly.

“Go see him, y/n. You’re not so much of a fuck up that you’re really going to let him date some rebound over you.” Max instructs making her sigh as she breaks the hug. “Do it now, you look like shit. He’ll take more pity on you.”

Always trust Max to deliver sentiment with some harsh true.

“Thanks, I really needed to hear that.”

“I say it with love, obviously.” Max grins, not really looking so well in himself either. “You can fix it with him, he wants you to fix it. Don’t be stupid and lose him like that.” 

After a goodbye and walking around Monaco. Y/n does find herself at Charles’ door, feeling like she’s still got some liquid courage in her.

It takes a few minutes before she rings the doorbell and prays that it’s not the girl he was with who answer.

“Bonjour?”

“It’s me, uhh...Y/n. Can we talk?”

The only response is the buzzer to open the door before she swallows thickly and steps in. Making her way up to his door and sighing when she knocks, waiting for a reply. 

Only months ago, she had a key. She could let herself in without a second thought about it. 

Charles appears, letting her in with a sad expression that she feels eating her up with guilt already. Walking in she has to force back tears.

“You spent the night with Max.” Charles states before she can properly get anything out. But in fairness her silence may have been speaking louder volumes than she was. “Now you’re here, why?”

“I made a mistake. A huge, painful mistake that hurt you and you always deserved better than that.” Y/n admits before she hugs herself, lip quivering till she bites it harshly. “I wanted to see you last night, but when I got there you were with a girl and I didn’t want to be that ex girlfriend.”

“So you show up the next day instead?” Charles laughs dryly while she feels the jab of his words in her chest. “So what are you here for?”

“A second chance? But mainly to apologise.” Y/n states then blinking a few times. “I saw some comments about me-I tried not to look any anything negative. Block everything, but it felt like it was one thing after another and they were right. You did everything, they were right when they said I took you for granted.”

“I told you I’d stay with you and work on it. So you didn’t want to change?” Charles frowns making her wince.

“I was wrong. Charles please. Please. I’ll haven’t gone a minute without wishing I could take back that moment.” Y/n rambles then rubbing at her arms. “I can go if this is just hurting you more...But I’d like it if you’d let me stay.”

Y/n knows it’s going to be a case of building back up to having his trust, but she’ll do whatever she has to.

“I don’t want you to go, y/n. I never did. But you left.”

“I won’t leave again. Ever. Fucking hell, I’ll glue myself to you and only let you leave when you have to race.” Y/n tries wishing she had never caused the damage to do this. “Charles?”

“Promise not to leave again.” Charles murmurs nearing her which gives her the ok to move closer to him too.

“I promise. Fuck Charles. I promise. I swear, you can cuff me to the bed if I’m ever this stupid again.” Y/n rambles frowning and shaking her head before he’s finally closed the space and cupped her face to force her to look at him. “I promise.”

“Good...and I could get used to you saying you are wrong a bit more.” Charles grins before kissing her like he’s just been given life support. “I will cuff you if you try to leave again. Whether it’s considered legal or not.”

“I feel like if it’s consensual in bed then usually the police are inclined to stay out of it.” Y/n smiles earning an eye roll before his hands move down to hold her waist. “I would offer more than a kiss but honestly, I’m too hungover and you should just be happy Max had a spare toothbrush because otherwise you would’ve tasted last night’s drinks as well.”

“That’s ok, I don’t feel that great either. Another very bad home race.”

“You didn’t actually do that badly...you didn’t lose any position from where you started.”

“I didn’t gain any either.”

“Always so negative. It wouldn’t be so bad to give yourself credit when it’s due.”

“See, that’s why I do need you. You always did that for me. You are the positive and I am the negative. But it can work the other way if you tell me when you are feeling negative.” 

“Easier said than done.”

“Then we’ll work on it, yes?”

“Yes...but hangover and bruised ego from Monaco race recovery first.” Y/n smiles before swallowing thickly.

“I’ve hated sleeping alone the most so come on, we are going to bed. I need to finally sleep and actually feel like I am rested.”

“Glad I’m not the only one who had disturbed sleep from it. I thought I was going crazy.”

[dreamcubed]

i don't wanna live forever | mattheo riddle x reader

song; i don't wanna live forever [taylor swift, zayn] pairing; mattheo riddle x fem!ravenclaw!reader genre; ex2l, reconciliation, ex-lovers, angst, smut, hurt comfort(ish) word count; 2,8k timeline; half-blood prince  warnings; swearing, toxic relationship, jealousy, controlling behaviour, mattheo is not a good person, neither is y/n, borderline cheating (not on y/n or mattheo), smoking, alcohol consumption, drunkenness, arguments, drunk sex, piv, fingering, degradation, ass-slapping summary; ever since you began dating, you and mattheo had been a fiery and toxic mess of breaking up and getting back together - only, when you finally try and date someone else, you realise that you miss and crave the unhealthy pattern that came with mattheo riddle

MINORS DNI! 18+ content.

i don't typically write smut but this oneshot felt incomplete without it. so, enjoy... 2 year anniversary & 1k celebration gift haha

masterlist

"wondering if i dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life."

——————————————

"I mean, why did you even date him in the first place?" Cho asked you, chewing on a chip, "He's literally You-Know-Who's son."

You sighed, used to this conversation from every person you knew, "You can't judge someone by their parents."

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

"Cho, his dad went MIA for thirteen years when he was one and his mum was in prison until last year. He hardly knows them."

"But," she said, "He was raised by the Malfoys and he was sorted into Slytherin."

You rolled your eyes.

She shrugged, "I'm just saying, the red flags were there."

You didn't reply, moving your gaze over to the group of Slytherin boys sat laughing with each other while they ate. Your ex-boyfriend, Mattheo Riddle, was sat among them.

It felt too definitive saying ex, however, since you two broke up and made up constantly, and had for the last year and a half, much to your friends' horror. You argued with him, you cried over him, you talked shit about him - but you loved him. And the love you had was a burning flame of passion, but it wasn't healthy. You had broken up a week ago, which was actually the longest you had gone without talking.

Normally, you would have caved by now, but you felt different this time. You felt immensely stubborn.

"It's time you stayed apart for good," Cho said, just as Mattheo's eyes locked on to yours, "He's bad for you."

You knew she was right, which was why you accepted when a nice Hufflepuff boy asked you to Hosmeade that weekend.

***

The bouquet of pink and red flowers being presented to you really should have given you butterflies, maybe even made you squeal, but they horrified you. Nonetheless, you smiled and said, "Awh, thank you. You shouldn't have," before taking Leon's extended arm and letting him lead you to the Three Broomsticks. He pulled the chair out for you, and you forced another smile on to your face.

"I've been wanting to ask you out for ages," he said excitedly, "But you were still on and off with Riddle."

You hummed.

"I'm glad you're done with him. He didn't treat you right."

It was mutual. You were just as toxic as Mattheo.

"But I will."

"Well, thank you, Leon," you said gently, "We'll see, won't we?"

He beamed at you, "You're so beautiful."

Surely such a comment should make you blush, right?

***

"How was the date?" Cho wiggled her eyebrows back in the Ravenclaw dormitories.

"It was... good," you said, placing the flowers on your desk haphazardly.

"Just good?"

"He's really nice, I- I just..."

Cho frowned, "He's boring?"

You shook your head, "No, he's funny and interesting."

"Then what's the issue?"

You shrugged, "I don't know."

"Give him a chance then, babe."

***

Leon wrote you poems, he took you on cute dates, he fed you, he walked you to classes, and he hung off your every word. But your eyes would always linger over to Mattheo - because despite everything Leon did for you, the only time you felt butterflies anymore was when you made eye contact with your ex-boyfriend. That glittery spark had never once burnt out in those long eighteen months you were on and off. Every argument and break up only seemed to make it burn stronger and brighter.

And the thing was, Leon was too healthy for you: too sane, too trusting, too normal. Mattheo had turned you into a raging jealous monster, as you had him, and it was part of the reason you were on and off. Neither of you had ever actually cheated, but if you got too close to a boy? He would start an argument and scream at you until you yelled back that you were over. Two days later, he would corner you, never truly apologising but kissing and making up, muttering how he loved you before fucking you until the sun came up.

And you had done the same thing to him.

That was the issue with Leon: he was friends with everyone. Some of his closest friends were girls. Were you jealous? No. But you knew if you began to develop feelings for him then you would become more jealous than an innocent boy like him could handle. You would ruin him the way Mattheo ruined you, fucking him up for any future romantic endeavours.

It drove you crazy how respectful he was, how he didn't bat an eye at you saying you were going to study with a male friend. You needed more push and pull than what he was giving you: you craved a fight, because you craved the crazed passion that came with it.

Yet, three weeks passed by and Mattheo had made no effort to do anything more than glare daggers at you and Leon from across the room.

Then the Christmas holidays hit.

***

A rich Hufflepuff in your year - not Leon - was hosting a house party at their gigantic home, and you had scored an invite. In fact, so had everyone in your year, including a few people from the year above and year below. Leon had immediately owled you to say that he would pick you up before heading there, but you knew that as you patted on concealer and highlight, you were thinking about Mattheo's reaction when he saw you. He had hated when you dressed too revealing, saying that he could see guys' eyes on you - and he wasn't wrong, you just didn't care.

You had purposefully dressed yourself in a tiny black miniskirt and matching bralette, which as a combination left very little to the imagination. With the fishnets you adorned as well, it was borderline lingerie.

Maybe Leon would finally argue with you and make you feel something.

"Y/N, you look gorgeous," he beamed, not a trace of anger on his perfect face when you opened the door to him.

"Thank you," you said, fighting the urge to sigh, "You don't look so shabby yourself."

"Shall we?" he held out his hand to you, which you accepted.

***

The party was already in full swing when you arrived, and you made a quick motion to catch up by downing two shots. Leon watched you in amazement.

"You want one?" you asked, going to pour another drink.

He shook his head, "I don't drink."

"No?" you paused in your movements, thinking that maybe this would be the time you finally argued, "I drink a lot."

"Each to their own," he shrugged, "I'll look out for you."

"Thanks, then," you said awkwardly, "I'm gonna go for a smoke, you coming?" Had you partially said that as another attempt at angering him? Yes. But you also were craving nicotine.

He shook his head, "I'm good, we'll catch up in a bit, yeah?"

You nodded absently, pouring a third shot for yourself before creating a mixed drink and heading outside to the smokers' area. And, there he was, Mattheo Riddle stood with a cigarette between his lips and a drink in his hand.

Pulling out a cigarette that you had tucked in your bralette, you boldly walked up to the group of Slytherin boys and asked, "Anyone got a light?"

Nott, who was right next you, passed you his, but you never took your eyes off Mattheo. His eyes glided up and down your exposed body as you lit your cigarette and took a long drag, relishing in the taste. You watched his jaw clench.

"You and Duggard official yet?" Berkshire asked, referring to Leon. At his question, a borderline growl erupted from Mattheo.

You shrugged vaguely, "We'll see."

"Will you?" Mattheo asked coldly.

You exhaled some smoke, "Well, he's handsome, smart, funny and attentive to my every need."

"Oh, is he?" Mattheo stepped closer to you.

Chuckling, you said, "He's a very kind man."

Mattheo scoffed, pushing past you with a mutter of, "That's not what you need."

He was right, of course, but he didn't need to know that.

You turned your focus to your cigarette.

"He's not the same without you," Nott said casually, dropping his finished cigarette on the ground and stepping on it.

"No?" you murmured, a smile tugging on your lips.

"He hardly sleeps, hardly eats, is angry all the time," he continued, "So, please, stop your little charade with Duggard and get back with him already."

"Who says it's a charade?"

You heard Berkshire scoff, "C'mon, L/N, everyone sees you stare at Matt all the time. Everyone except Duggard, that is."

Biting your lip, you ashed your cigarette, "Well, maybe Riddle should man up and apologise."

***

The party raged on, and as the alcohol flowed through your system, so did the music. Leon didn't seem that keen on the party atmosphere, so you resorted to dancing with Cho and other Ravenclaw girls. That was until you felt a guy come up behind you and begin dancing with you.

You turned around to see a Gryffindor boy from the year above, and he wasn't half-bad looking, so in your drunken state you allowed it to happen. Cho gave you a sceptical look, but didn't intervene.

A hand tugged on your wrist, and you looked up to see Leon.

"Can we talk?" he mouthed, and you nodded absently, following him to the quieter room that was the kitchen.

"What?" you said a little harshly.

"I'd appreciate if you wouldn't dance with other guys," he said, his tone completely without malice.

Your instinct in these situations was to get aggravated, so you snapped, "Well, if you actually knew how to party, I wouldn't have to."

Leon stared at you blankly, "I'm sorry."

For fuck's sake, why did he have to sound so genuine?

"I'll try and come out on the dancefloor if that's what you want."

"Fucking hell," you cursed.

"What? What is it?" he sounded worried.

"Why don't you argue with me?" you exasperated, tugging at your scalp.

Leon frowned, "That's no way to resolve things."

"It's not about resolving things," you snapped, "It's about passion, it's about the spark, it's- it's..." you trailed off, "Rowena, I feel crazy."

"I understand your relationship with Riddle wasn't the easiest one, but I want to help you learn what a calm and healthy relationship is," Leon said gently, "Because you deserve better."

"Are you even listening to me?" you pulled your hands down your face, "I don't want peace. I want passion. I want twin flame bruises. I want a push and pull."

"I-"

You cut him off, "Mattheo would have beat the shit out of that guy for dancing with me."

"That guy probably didn't know you were taken-"

"Mattheo made sure that everybody knew I was his," you said firmly, feeling tears prick at your eyes, "I just need to argue, Leon - I crave it."

"Well, I can't give that to you."

"Y/N," a voice spoke in a growl behind you.

You span around, being faced with the one man who could make you feel electric. And that was when your emotions crashed all over you: upset and anger expressed through tears and yelling.

"Why are you taking so fucking long?" you screamed.

But he wasn't looking at you - no, he was glaring at Leon. "I think you've had long enough with my girl, Duggard," he drawled.

"She's not your girl anymore," you heard Leon reply, before he said to you, "What did you mean when you asked him why he's taking so long?"

You saw Mattheo clench his fist, and you grabbed his wrist to halt him, "Fucking talk to me, Riddle."

His eyes snapped to yours, "I will never be Riddle to you, princess."

"Considering we've hardly spoken the last few weeks, I'd say you are."

"Guess I'll have to remind you who you are to me, then," he chuckled darkly, pulling you away from Leon. The Hufflepuff boy went to follow you worriedly, but you glared at him and he stayed put. Part of you felt bad: a tiny, sober part.

You found yourself in an upstairs bathroom, pressed against a cool tile wall.

"If you ever pull a stunt like that again, I can't promise I'll be a good person about it."

"You're never a good person about anything," you muttered, relishing in his hot breath fanning on to your face.

He smirked, "We both know that's the way you like me."

You hummed, "Fuck me, Mattheo."

"I'm not sure you deserve a good fuck after everything you've done."

"I never fucked him."

"No?" he chuckled, "Good."

And then his lips were on yours, tasting, sucking, nibbling every centimetre. His hand quickly trailed to underneath your skirt, rubbing your clit through your scandalously thin panties.

He pulled away from the kiss, "Don't ever wear anything like this again," he kissed you again, "At least not in public."

"Whatever you want."

He hummed his approval, pushing your panties aside to push two fingers inside of you.

"Please, I just want your dick."

"Yeah?" he murmured, "How bad?"

"So bad, please," you begged, your tear and mascara stained cheeks enhancing the puppy dog eyes you gave him. Mattheo had to admit, he loved seeing you so desperate for him.

"You really don't deserve this," he sighed, unzipping his trousers.

You licked your lips as you watched him pull his rock hard dick out.

"I can't wait to feel your mouth on it again," he muttered, "But I'm feeling nice, so I'll just give you what you want."

Mattheo bent you over the sink countertop, lifting up your skirt and slapping your ass in the process. He pulled your panties further aside.

"Don't act like you don't just miss being inside me," you forced out, making him slap your ass harder.

To your surprise, he said, "Of course I fucking did."

And then he pushed inside you, quickly and without warning, causing you to gasp loudly.

"So fucking wet."

You arched your ass up to him, moaning.

"I don't think I'm gonna last long."

You were hardly able to reply, as he had begun to run circles on your clit as well. But, you agreed with him, as the absence of this feeling had made your body hypersensitive to Mattheo's every touch.

"Fuck, you're such a whore," he murmured, picking up the pace relentlessly.

"Your whore," you managed to say, your eyes rolling back into your head as you felt your orgasm build up.

"I bloody well hope so," he chuckled.

And then, as you both came closer to ecstasy, things went silent - the only noise being his groans, your moans, and the sound of skin slapping.

"Matty, I'm gonna co- fuck!" you cursed, feeling your release wash over you in red hot passion, your vision going white as your every limb shook. You didn't normally orgasm so easily.

He continued to fuck your overstimulated pussy, gripping your hips so hard it would probably leave bruises. "Gonna fill you up," he choked out, his breathing growing heavier as you finally felt his dick throb inside you, signifying his release.

Mattheo stilled, staying inside you for a moment as you both processed the situation. Eventually, he pulled out, helping you turn over so you were sat on the counter facing him. You were both panting.

"I'm sorry," he said eventually, and your eyes widened.

He had never outright apologised before.

"I'm sorry too," you mumbled back.

"I love you so much," he pressed his forehead against yours, "I just I-"

"I love you too. So much."

He hummed, "I just- I don't understand my father. I don't want to live forever."

You frowned, "Why not?"

"Because," he took your hands in his, "Without you, I'd just be living in vain."

A smile stretched widely on your face, "Want to leave this stupid party?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

And as you left the party, hand in hand and evidently in a post-sex haze, Mattheo said - loud enough for a few close people to hear - "I'm gonna marry you, you know that?"

And you did.

———————————————

masterlist

written; 25/02/2024 —> 09/03/2024 published; 09/03/2024 edited; —/—/——

[arysbruv]

Burn

You were a relatively newer student. You normally kept to yourself but you always dreamt of being friends with the main trio, especially with the infamous Suguru Geto. Yet, he always seemed to hate you, even when you openly showed you felt the opposite.

pairings: suguru geto x f!reader

warnings and whatnots: ITS GOJOVERR ‼️‼️ Reconciliation, fluff after angst because I feel bad. End of series!!

chapters!

Chapter 1 : are we still friends? Chapter 2 : can we be friends? Chapter 3 : Sorry, not sorry. Chapter 4 : Green looks good on you. Chapter 5 : Runaway. Chapter 6 : [CURRENTLY READING]

shoko 🚬 : y/n where are you?

shoko 🚬: y/n???

shoko 🚬: what happened r u okay?

shoko 🚬: why is suguru crying

bing!

suguru 💔: I’m sorry.

You glance at the notification, sniffling. You sat croucee on the toilet seat of a random cafe, eyes red from the hours crying. A knock on the door pulls you from your thoughts.

“Taken..” You croak out, voice hoarse from the crying.

“y/n, it’s me, Shoko…”

The soft and caring voice wills your legs to move and opens the door. Shoko stands in front of you, concern evident in your eyes. She scans your body, a small sigh leaving her as she hugs you. You melt in her embrace.

•

“She ran away?!” Satoru asks incredulously, watching his friend pace around the hotel room. Suguru moved about, wiping his eyes that stung from the harsh rejection he just earned.

How stupid! He was an idiot to think that the girl he was mean to for months would suddenly accept his love confession. What was this; An enemies to lovers book?

“Why? Oh god why did I say that?” Suguru mumbles to himself, finally sitting down on the bed beside Satoru, head in his hands.

bing!

the OGS

shoko 🚬: we’re in the hotel room

shoko 🚬: y/n’s a mess.

shoko 🚬: Good news, y/n likes you! bad news, she’s scared to admit it because she accidentally rejected you.

Suguru reread the message, over and over again, the phone in his hand almost breaking from the strength of his grip. Satoru takes his phone, reading the message so it properly processes in Suguru’s head.

“Congrats, she likes you!” Satoru says, tilting his head, waving the message in Suguru’s face.

Suguru didn’t know what to say. He grabs the phone from Satoru, earning a scowl from him.

“What do I do? She didn’t ruin anything!” Suguru says almost loudly, shocked eyes trained on Satoru.

Satoru’s eyes glimmered, a plan formulating in his mind. A smirk gathered upon the white haired boy’s face. He stands up, grabbing the car keys from the bedside table, he walks to the door, peering over his shoulder to see Suguru still sat on the bed. He sighs, giving a smile to the long haired boy.

“Come on, let’s go shopping.”

•

“Where are we going?” You ask Shoko as she brings you down the cold street. You shiver.

Shoko doesn’t answer you, her steps getting faster as she rounds the corner. You frown. Was she leading you to a bar? Was she suggesting for you to drink your problems away? Wouldn’t be that much of a surprise since she drowns out her own issues with smokes. Maybe you did need a drink, just to get away from everything and everyone.

After the whole fiasco pertaining to Suguru Geto, you quite literally wanted to run away and never face him again. If it meant going to learn with Nanami and Haibara in the class below you, that would be what you would do. At least they wouldn’t shame you for something like falling in love. A part of you longed to be with him yet you were weary fo his intentions. Did he truly love you?

Suguru watched from inside the cafe as you came closer. Flowers in hand. Roses, plain but he thought maybe you would like something plain and basic in the world of chaos and unknowns. Yet, just to be sure he also put a few of your favourite flowers in the bouquet. He heard you mention it to Shoko once as you all walked past a flower garden when you first came to Jujutsu High. He wiped his hands on his pants, glancing at Satoru who sat at the side, giving him a small thumbs up.

He hoped this work. He didn’t understand why he was trying so hard to win your affection but what he knew was that he wanted you and wanted to be yours. If it wasn’t him, he didn’t want it to be anyone else.

You rounded the corner, trailing behind Shoko like a lost puppy. He tilts his hand. Even after crying for seemingly hours, you were still gorgeous.

He gulps. What if you were too good for him?

”Suguru?” You say as you enter the empty cafe, Shoko quickly bee-lining to Satoru who sat at the side. The cafe was void of noise, you could hear the crickets from outside. It was cozy and small, only one worker behind the counter. You recognised them. Nanami?

Your eyes finally properly land on him, taking in his full appearance. His outfit was different from the one this morning, it looked cleaner and more formal. A black button up shirt tucked into straight cut black pants. His hair neatly combed back. He looked so handsome. A tint of red starts forming on your face as you stare at him, failing to notice the flowers in his hands.

Embarrassment runs through you. Crap. Was he here to talk about the whole rejection thing? Truth be told, you didn’t know why you ran. You wanted to say that you liked him too but you couldn’t help but feel that maybe he was just joking around or prancing you. Yet, he looked so… genuine.

”y/n.” The sound of your name in his golden voice snaps you back to reality. You look to see he has gotten closer to you, close enough that you could notice his breathing pattern. Close enough that you could see the flowers in his hand tremble and shake slightly.

Flowers?

Your eyes glance over them. Roses, mixed in with a few of your favourites. How had he known your favourite. Did Shoko tell him? No, she had been with you for the whole time. You bet Satoru didn’t even try to remember what your favourite were so how did he know?

“y/n, I am here to lay down my heart to you and hope you accept it.” Suguru randomly says, bringing your attention to his face. He cringes at his own words.

His eyes slightly widen upon eye contact. Suguru’s neck starts heating up as his eyes meets you. Why was this so hard? He practiced this with Satoru.

“For the past few months, we have never been on the best of terms. It is true that I found you to be annoying and too clingy at times. Yet as I began to become closer to you, I realise that there was no one else I’d like to annoy me and cling to me,” He trails off, averting his eyes. He inhales, taking in a breath.

“You are as the Sun, something one truly cannot appreciate until they are gone and unfortunately, I have seen you gone before.” His eyes finally come back to yours, softening as he sees your eyes that were laced with confusion.

“Thus, again, I ask you, to please consider going on a date with me.” Suguru hands you to bouquet of flower, a rush of blood hitting his face.

You stare at him then at the flowers. Slowly, you will your hands to take it. Your face felt hot as you grabbed onto the stems of the flowers, covering your face slightly with the buds. You look back at Suguru.

He had just confessed to you, for the second time.

“Suguru, I-…” You started, unsure of what to say. Suguru smiles softly at you, the most soft and caring expression strung upon his face. It hit you like a truck.

He liked you.

You liked him.

“I’d love to go on a date with you.” You whisper quietly, looking to the side. You cringe, realising he might have not heard you as he remained silent. You slowly bring your eyes back to him, only to see him try and suppress a giant grin from forming on his face. He moves closer to you, hands on your shoulder.

“Thank you, love.” He says slowly, whispering in your ear. Your blood rushed. He moves back, smirking at you. You stare at him expectantly.

“So… are we done yet?” Satoru finally asks, breaking the silence, earning him a shove from Shoko. He stands up, glaring at her and stretching. Suguru rolls his eyes at Satoru. He would scold him but after the immense help from him, he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“Yes Satoru, we are done,” You say sweetly to him, a small smile coaxed on your face.

You look back at Suguru, who smiles at you as he watches Shoko and Satoru walk out the cafe. He moves towards you, grabbing your free hand. His fingers intertwining with yours.

“Thank you for giving me a chance.”

[ben-talks-art]

Lin Beifong has no wins in Legend Of Korra

Something that always bothered me in regards to the way this series treated the character of Lin was the fact that it never felt like any of Lin's victories actually gave the feeling of being victories.

Maybe it's because it's been years since I watched this show, and I'm being selective in what I choose to remember, and I'm just unintentioanlly choosing to remember the bad over the good... but it feels like this series just felt a lot more comfortable dunking on Lin than actually trying to raise her up... And that kinda annoys me a little.

Lin is part of this character achetype that I like to call "The Antisocials", people who, because of personal events in their past, prefer to avoid or have trouble dealing with others. She's basically meant to be the "Zuko" of the team.

I really like this trope, and I really like to see the earth element getting some love, so I was really excited to see Lin getting her moments to shine and kick some ass in the series... Which... for some reason doesn't feel all that prevalent.

Now, don't get me wrong, when Lin needs to fight, she WILL fight, and she looks cool while doing it... But when it comes to her more memorable moments, her getting defeated sadly feels more frequent than her getting some victories.

Like... Let's take a moment to count her Ls:

She got dumped by Tenzin after another woman seduced him

A terrorist started to attack her city and kept getting away from her

She was unable to stop her men from getting captured and losing their powers

Eventually she herelf got captured and lost her bending

She's constantly getting mocked and looked down upon by other characters

Her own sister left a scar on her face while committing a crime and faced basically no consequences, only to years later have a life filled with success while Lin is all alone

Her own mother acts like she couldn't care less about her struggles

Neither of the two ever gave Lin a proper apology and instead just tried to pull an Mirabel from "Encanto" and tell her to get over it

She basically played no role in all of season 2

And when she tired to face her family about her problems she was simply treated as the one in the wrong

Now let's count her "wins:"

She allowed Tenzin's family to get away from Amon in season 1... At the cost of her getting captured... Only for the family itself to get caught later anyway

She saved Korra from falling, which allowed Amon to get away with her men

In season 3 she gets clobbered by the combustion woman so her sister can land the finishing blow

and In season 4 she tries to rescue her family, only to nearly fail and needing to be saved by her mother, who proceeds to give her the most bare-bones of moments of reconciliation, because God forbid we let our fan-favorite character from the first series show a little humility for her own daughter in her moment of weakness

It just felt like the show was afraid of ever letting Lin be a badass and giving her a real win moment.

It doesn't even need to be a battle win. She could have had a moment with Korra where she teaches her some life lesson, or teach her how to metal bend and listen to the earth, or she could have had some scenes where her actions save the day, like, how come she never gets to save her sister and mother but both of them end up saving her? Or even some character moments like her bonding with Mako, or Tenzin's kids or something... I don't think she even really interacts with anyone in a meaningfull way.

If you were to ask me who her best friend in the series was, I would have no idea what to say.

Her biggest "win" in the series was getting to wake up all happy after "solving" her personal demons, an act she achieved by... fighting her sister and venting out all her anger, I guess.

I don't know if it's just me but Lin's victories on the show all feel so shallow, as if they were telling us she was achieving things instead of actually feeling like she was. At times, she felt like the show's punching bag. Insted of being the Zuko of the story, she came more as the Squidward.

Someone who's there just to lose to the villains and make them look strong and making other characters look cool while they save her with her big lesson being that she needs to learn to be less grumpy.

Lin should be so easy to make cool! Like, you see her design, her powers and abilities, her personality, her verstility for several different types of action scenes and versatility for also different interactions with the rest of the cast...

But instead it felt like they were throwing darts at a wall trying to pick a different way to dunk on her every time, as if they were afraid of makiing her too cool.

I don't know, maybe I'm just being salty and petty because I wish more had been done with her and that's causing me to only focus on the negatives, making them look and sound a lot worse than they actually were, while also ignoring all the big positives about her time on the screen...

But sometimes it felt to me like the show was more interested in hyping up everyone else and giving them a moment to shine over Lin.

Like, again, her own sister got to take down one of the big members of the Red Lotus, and she basically becomes one of the main characters in season 4, while Toph gets to train and help heal Korra.

These two got to look so much cooler in just two seasons than Lin got to look in all 4, and I can't even fully enjoy them being cool because all I keep thinking when I look at them is "You two did Lin dirty."

If they had had an actual honest earned moment of reconciliation, I feel like I would be in heaven watching both of them kicking ass, cause again, I love the earth element, but instead I would just be "God, I wish this was Lin doing all this cool stuff instead."

I'm not exactly sure what the mindset was behind the way they wanted to handle her, not sure if there was studio interference, or mismanagement, or if Nickelodeon's meddling affected things, or what...

I'm just trying to say, I feel like Lin deserved better. I still like her character a lot but I can't help but feel even more could have been done with her.

[quellmythirst]

Desperation

Summary: you and your boyfriend move to the city. Little do you know, your ex had plans of his own.

Ex!Reader x Billy Russo

4.3k

Warnings: 18+ ONLY. DON'T BE SHOCKED THAT BILLY RUSSO IS A MANIPULATIVE STALKER. smut, swearing, alcohol, pet names, manipulation, stalking, lying, fluff, reconciliation, exs to lovers, cheating. Dead Dove Do Not Eat.

"Billy?" You think as you walk down the aisle of the grocery store towards the tall man in a dark suit, his hair almost the same as his had been the last time you saw him, "can't be him." You try to reason, he's probably still overseas and you haven't seen him, since… well, since he walked away from you all those years ago. You're just about to turn, having talked yourself out of it when the man turns and sees you.

"Hi,” he rakes his hand through his hair, “is that really you?" he squints, his head tilting to the side in curiosity.

"Billy," you smile, trying not to melt at how happy he seems to see you, “Hi.” you give him a small wave.

"How've you been?" He asks, stepping towards you, "I didn't know you lived in this neighbourhood." Billy lies. He knows you and your little boyfriend just moved into the apartment building next to his.

He wasn’t surprised that it only took a week to memorise your new routine. You always moved like clockwork, just like you did when he knew you all those years ago. It was only when he spotted you last night staring out into the city lights that he decided that it needed to be today. You have been living on takeout for a week and you always did hate that. You’ll need a home cooked meal after a week of moving and unpacking. It's perfect. A perfect place for a chance meeting of old flames. 

"I've been okay," your eyes glance over him. He looks good, better than good. His suit is so perfectly tailored and shit, is that armani? Billy's shiny dark hair is combed back in a way that looks effortless but you know he would have taken years to perfect. You’re so focused on ogling him that you forget to say anything for a second, "We just moved here."

"Good choice,” he says, like he isn’t just itching to reach out and touch you, “it's a nice neighbourhood." He pauses, taking a step toward you, "we?" He asks, trying to feign ignorance like he hasn't kept tabs on you since he got back. Like he doesn’t know about Ash the guitarist or Leo the bar owner or Bobbie the artist. All of them, useless, appalling mimics, comparisons, terrible shadows of Billy and none of them as useless as James the entrepreneur who always claimed he was one shot from making it big.

"Yeah, Jim said there’s opportunity in the city. So we decided it would be easier to move," you shift, why is he looking at you like that? “Be where the action is and all that.”

"Jim, huh. Sounds nice." He takes a step back, hoping that you're going to follow his movement like you always used to. You’re looking at him almost like you used to, except now your eyes are darting to the left, seeing if anyone sees you, if you can run maybe?

"He is." You step forward, "he's a really good guy." He is, he’s nice, reliable, he loves you and he isn’t going to fuck off to a war the moment things start to get real. 

"I'm happy for you." His hand reaches out wanting so badly to touch you after so long. But instead of holding your cheek like he wants to, it lands on your shoulder. Billy smiles so sincerely at you, and says the one thing he’s always known to be true, "all I ever wanted was for you to be happy."

"Hmm. Yeah " you step back from his hand, his intense gaze getting a little too much for you. Your stomach and heart swirling from the way those pretty brown eyes stare into your soul, "well it was nice seeing you. I better run."

"Wait," he calls as you turn to leave, catching your wrist in his hand, “before you go. I'd really like to catch up for coffee sometime."

"I don't know Billy."

"Please, it'll be fun. Can’t we just- It’s just coffee. It’s been what? 5 years?” 7 years, 6 months, 1 week and 3 days. “I’d love to hear what you’ve been up to.”

"One coffee." You give in so easily like you always have, scribbling your number down on one of Jimmy's business cards and handing it to Billy, "in case you deleted my number."

"I didn't."

"Just let me know when you're free."

XXx

"Hey,” Billy smiles as you answer on the fourth ring, “just wanted to see if you were free tomorrow?" Billy says as you answer the call and when you stay silent he keeps talking, "if you're not, that’s cool. We can catch up another time."

"I ah-"

"What's wrong?" He says, instantly recognising your tone. The tone that says you’re angry, but you don’t want to show it. Billy knows you're with him, he saw James. He watched the both of you go up the evaluator ten minutes ago. 

"Now isn’t a good time." you stutter out, hanging up the call. 

Billy picks up his glass, swirling it as he leans onto the large window of his apartment. He spots you in a second. Your hand on your hip while James turns away from you. Billy sips at his whiskey as you pace your apartment. James follows you, his arms flying around wildly. You spin on your heel, as Billy clicks open his phone, easily selecting your number and calling again under the guise of concern.

He knows the moment your phone starts ringing and you flip it over on the counter. James looks like he's yelling now. When the call rings out, Billy flicks open a message as you sit down in what looks like a huff.

Hi, you seemed upset. Hope everything is ok.

James is still swanning about, flapping his arms about as you sit on the sofa. Billy smiles, it took a lot of work to get you an apartment directly opposite his. It was worth every penny to get to see you argue with the man you up tried to replace him with. Like you could ever replace him, he sure as shit had a hard time trying to replace you.

Billy smirks as the theatrics of the rest of the argument unfolds, the scotch in his hand empty as your boyfriend starts to throw clothes into a bag. You follow him, trying desperately to get James’ attention. He should have put mics in your apartment, so he could listen to this man tell you how insecure he is, how he knows he’ll never compare to the love you shared, tell you he knows how much better you’d be without him and how it eats away at him. 

You’re crying, Billy hates it, but it needs to be done. He pours another drink as the idiot finally leaves with his bag. Billy waits. Waiting for the call that he knows is coming. Who else could you call? You don’t know anyone else in the city, there's only one person in this city of millions who knows you well enough to make you feel safe. So, he waits. Waits for the call that he knows is coming.

It only takes 2 hours. He’s been watching you, you cried into the couch for 30 minutes before grabbing a bottle of wine and slipping into the bedroom. He resists the urge to go to you, to wrap his arms around you and dry those pretty tears. An hour later you reappear with a tub of ice-cream and lay down on the couch. He’s on his third glass of whiskey, when his phone starts to vibrate. He waits a moment, setting his glass down before reclining and reading the text.

Kitten: Billy, are you free now? 

Billy: I am. Is everything alright? You seemed upset

Kitten: Fine, just have some time to kill.

Billy: Do you know Cool Beans? It’s on the corner of-

Kitten: yeah, The red brick place? I know it. Can we meet in 30?

Billy: I’ll see you there. 

Billy arrives a few seconds after you, following you down the street will do that. He watched you, your shoulders hunched over, your pace quicker than he thought it would be. You must be desperate to see him. Good. 

He enters the cafe, immediately spotting you sitting at a table near the back wall. You look so beautiful in those yoga pants, your pretty hair tied up in a bun. He only sees that your face is still fresh from where you tried to wash the tears away, when you lift it from your hands.

"Didn't mean to be late,” Billy lies as he approaches your table, "got caught up with a work thing.” his face changes to concern as he gets closer and he can see the red in your eyes. “Are you okay? You look like you’ve been crying?”

"Yeah,” you rub your eyes and smile up at him, “I only just got here."

Billy spends the next hour asking you a million questions, like he doesn’t already know. Sure, he doesn’t need you to tell him, but he loves to hear you talk and the way you tell your story. He loves how talking distracts you and you start to smile. 

You’re on your second cup of coffee and your third piece of cake when you let out a sigh. Small tears run down your cheek as Billy reaches out to hold your hand. “You can tell me, maybe I can help?” he tries to comfort you, without reaching too far too fast.

Resting your head in your hand you look up at him. Whispering about how your boyfriend decided to go on a fishing trip with his friends suddenly. How you thought you’d be spending the weekend together and now you’ve been left in a city you don’t know by yourself. You leave out some of the hurtful things James said to you, brushing them aside as you squeeze on Billy's hand. You really want to talk to him, to sort this out, but he’s screening your calls and all because you had a call from an old friend. You confess all this to him and he just stares at you, his eyes sympathetic and you feel like you’ve crossed a line. “Sorry, you just wanted a coffee and I’ve dropped all this on you.” you start to pull your hand away, but Billy gives you a tight squeeze.

"Why don't you come hang out with me? I don’t live far from here."

"I don't know. I’m sure I’ve already ruined your day.”

“Don’t be silly. It'll be fun. We can watch legally blonde and eat junk food.”

“You promise?” you wipe the tears from your cheek, “I feel like I just lumped all my problems on you and now you’re just trying to make me feel better.”

“I am. I just thought you might wanna see a friendly face,” he pauses, standing up and grabbing your coat, “maybe not be alone.”

“I really don’t want to be a burden.”

“You could never burden me.” Billy helps you slip on your coat, and when you duck away from him he steps in front of you, “I mean it. Never.”

“Thanks,” you give him such a tiny smile.

“I’m just down the street.”

“Alright, lead the way.” you agree, thoughts of sitting alone in your apartment looking over everything. Replaying the fight over and over again/ Wondering where James could actually be, is he going to come back? This is exactly what you need, a distraction and if the distraction happens to be a tall, handsome, expensive suit wearing old friend, who are you to complain? Maybe today is just the luckiest unlucky day ever.

You walk together, your shoulders brushing as you make your way down the busy street. Billy walks you in a circle, around several unnecessary buildings hoping that you don't notice that his apartment building is opposite yours. But as you approach the glass towers you point out your new place on the other side of the road. 

“Weird, what are the chances,” you ponder, thinking it must be fate that Billy lives just across the way from you. Maybe moving to the city was the universe's way of telling you things are looking up. Billy’s changed so much since the last time you saw him on that cold winter night. He’s grown, seems more mature, more at ease in his own skin. But the way he looks at you, the feelings that swim still inside your heart, maybe this wasn’t a good idea. You glance over at him and he’s still smiling at you, in that soft, warm way that calls to you.

“Yeah, that is weird. Small worlds huh?”

“Mm, must be.” You shrug, following him up to the elevator.

When you make it to his apartment Billy tries not to be smug about how much bigger it is than yours. About how his huge windows have a clear view of the city and how you're already taking off your coat and making yourself at home.

“Do you want a drink?”

“Yeah that'd be nice. Do you gave any-”

“Prosecco? I think I have a bottle here somewhere,” He opens the fridge with 3 bottles in it, ready and waiting for you.

“Thanks,” taking the glass he offers you. You relax into the large sofa, resting your drink on your knee. 

“So you had a fight and he left huh?” Billy asks, sitting down next to you. A drink in his hand as his arm spreads out behind you on the couch, “Seems a bit extreme.” 

“Basically. I can't believe he'd be so jealous.” You huff, taking a sip of your wine, “we haven't seen each other in years. And he just- I don’t get it. That he could think-” you roll your eyes, trying not to see the way Billy is looking at you.

“I wouldn't have called if I knew it was going to be a problem for you.” he gives your shoulder a squeeze, “You should’ve just said.” like he would’ve listened, like he wouldn’t have tried again and again.

“I know, he's just being irrational. Hopefully he'll come around.” you shuffle, adjusting yourself on the couch and resting your head on Billy's shoulder. It feels nice, safe. Like for the first time in hours you can breathe again.

“He's an idiot if he doesn't,” he moves to wipe away a tear that's falling down your cheek, “he'd be an idiot to lose you.”

“What does that make you?” you ask, peering up at him, forgetting just how close your faces are with your head resting on his shoulder.

“Biggest idiot ever,” his sincerity beaming into you, “or luckiest man alive, to run into you in that store. Take your pick.”

“Billy.”

“Kitten.”

“Haven’t heard that in a very long time,” the mention of your old nickname sends a shiver down your spine and the blood pumping into your veins like it always did when he called you that.

“Haven't said it in a long time either.” his hand brushes along your cheek, “I missed you, Kitten.”

“Billy.”

“Do you want to watch the movie?” he asks, so softly his fingers gently stroking over your cheekbones, “I can move, if it makes you more comfortable.” he doesn’t want to, doesn't want to ever let you go now that he’s finally got his hands on you. "Or you can yell and scream at me," he suggests, "like old times. “Take some of that anger out on me." He hopes you take the bait, desperately wants you too. But this is important, you need to choose this. Even if he had made getting you to this choice possible. 

“Is that what you want?" you ask, pulling your head back.

"What I want? I told you already, all I want is for you to be happy."

"Oh." You stand, hands on your hips, "how could that possibly be true?" You turn from him as you start to walk away, "I know that's a lie."

"It's not a lie, Kitten."

"It fucking is." You spin, your eyes glaring daggers into him. Fuck, you're beautiful, "you want me to be happy?" You stomp, "I was happy. Once. A long time ago." You shout, stamping towards him with your finger pointed at him. So pretty when you're angry. "You were the person who took that away from me."

"I miss you."

"You miss me?" You slap at his chest, "it's your fault you don't have me!"

"I need you."

"The only thing you ever needed in your life was violence. You never needed me!" You feel the fury in your hands start to shake as Billy lets you slap at him.

"I always needed you," he stops your hands holding them close to his heart, "I needed you so badly it scared the shit outa me."

"So you ran." You pull your hands free, glaring up at him with such defiance in those pretty eyes.

"I did." He reaches out for you, but you step back, "not my finest moment. Probably the stupidest thing I ever did."

"So what now, Billy? We’re just meant to be friends?" You throw your hands up in the air, "pretend like whatever we had is gone?"

"Don't look at me like that."

"Like what William?"

"Don't."

"What William? Tell me I'm wrong."

"I think we’re getting too heated. We just need to take a breath." He hopes you take the bait, that you see his lie for what it is. So he turns away, " you don't mean that."

"This conversation is not over, William." He can hear you stomping towards him, "don't you fucking turn away from me again." You shout grabbing him by wrist and slapping in his face when he turns back to you.

"You feel better now?"

"No. You asshole. I don't feel better!" You attempt to slap him again, but he catches your hand in his.

"Stop."

"Fuck you."

"Yeah, fuck me. I'm an asshole." He stares down at you, watching your eyes as he releases your hand. "What are you going to do about it?" His eyes trace over your tongue as it slips over your lips.

"William." Your hand wraps onto his collar pulling his lips to yours and you melt into his kiss. Shit, did he always taste this sweet? Yeah, he did. But with the tang over whiskey on his tongue you may become addicted. His hands slip into your hair, holding your face so close as you cling to him. His heart soars as your body presses into him, his hands unable to control the way they roam over your body.

You can’t stop kissing, neither of you saying anything as you rush to undress each other as he guides you both towards his bedroom.

You fall back onto the bed together, both panting from the lack of air. "Are you sure about this Kitten?" He asks you, he needs to know. He craves it, the knowledge that you want him just as badly as he wants you.

"Is It wrong to want this?" You ask, your hand already travelling down his torso towards his cock, "that I missed it?"

"You miss me too or just my dick?"

"I missed all of you."

"Are you worried he will find out?”

“I hadn’t even-” he cuts off your train of thought.

“We keep this between us." He slows down the pace of your hand, gently pressing kisses into your neck, "I won't tell a soul, just tell me you want me."

"I want you." That's all he needs to hear as he grabs your legs wrapping around your waist as he leans down over you.

“Tell me again.”

“I want you, Billy.”

"Fuck, you’re so wet already."

"I am"

"For me?"

"Yes, Billy."

"Good girl, now open up for me." He says as his cock prodding at your pussy, itching to get inside. He swipes it up and down, gathering your wetness on his cock, "let me in, kitten." He moans as he reaches the end of you.

He kisses you fiercely, the feeling of coming home overwhelms him as he thrusts into you. His hands gripping tight at your hips, his chest weighing down on your as your fingers roam over his back. 

"I missed you," he breaks the kiss, his nose bumping yours as he stares down in your eyes, "did you miss this?"

"Missed you, so much." You moan in reply, your nails digging into his back. You need him closer, need his hands all over you and his marks on your pretty skin and his name on your lips.

"You're so fucking beautiful."

"Billy, you-" you pant his cock grinds into you, brushing against your g spot.

"That's it. Clamp down on me, Kitten." His hands slip up from your thighs, grabbing a better hold at your waist so he can pound his cock into you, "Shit, you feel too good. I need to- slow."

But you're so close, you can't slow down. You grind your hips into him, feeling the head of his cock flexing inside you and making your legs start to twitch, "you're getting close"

"Please don't stop, Billy."

"I won't."  He moves you, grabbing hold of your waists and pulling you up onto his lap. "I got you." His strong arms lift you, fucking you onto his cock, your head barely hanging on as your clit starts to brush against his lean torso. 

Your arms wrap around his shoulders, your fingers in his hair, pulling his head back from your tits and making him look up at you, "I missed you."

"I love you." He admits as his fingers bite into your side, "I love you." You free his hair and his face slides into your tits, exhaling into the soft flesh, biting and pinching with his mouth.

"You-" you try to breathe, "you can't mark me Billy."

"Say that you love me." He moves to the other breast swirling your nip in his mouth, his eyes not leaving yours.

"You can't- he'll"

"Mean it."

You grab at his hair again, pulling him off you as your hand connects with his face, "I love you."

"Do it again."

"I love you." You slap him again, this time following it up with a kiss as his hands slip up your back and cradles you close to him. 

"My Kitten." He sinks you back into the mattress, his whole body towering over you as he moves faster and more desperately. "Fucking perfect Kitten." His cock is so deep inside you when he starts to grind down into you, "cum for me." He keeps it in, the grinding sends your legs wild as your back arches underneath him, "what a pretty girl," he whispers as his lip brush over yours, "cum Kitten." He grips at your thighs, holding your pussy over his cock when you try to squirm away, "cum for me."

You moan his name, along with a garbled cry that sounds like a chicken let loose as your back arches all the way off the bed, your tits push into his chest and your eyes start to cross.

"Keep cumming Kitten," Billy's cock throbs inside of you and the wave still going, "fuck I'm so close." He pulls out just a little, before plunging back in, "where do you want it?"

"Insi-" you try to say as another wave of pleasure washes over you.

"Kitten," he smiles, as his own pleasure is reaching its peak, "you want to take my cum inside you?"

"Yes."

"You want me to fill you up?".

"Please Billy."

"Good girl." He starts to shake, his eyes open wide as he watches you still riding out your own pleasure, "I love you." He screams as he floods your insides with his cum. 

He doesn't stop and within seconds you feel a third wave washing over you and your whole body starts to twitch as your mind goes numb, "I love you." You whisper ,your words hoarse and breathless as you start to gently comb your fingers through his hair.

"Kitten," he whispers into your shoulder as his whole body drops on to you, "you ok?"

"Great, beyond great."

"Not angry anymore?"

"No." 

"Good, I'm going to roll us. You ready?" You give him a small nod and Billy rolls you on top of him. His fingers dance along your spine as you rest on his chest. "I'll grab you some water in a minute. I just wanna hold you a bit longer."

"Mm, this is nice." You start to pepper kisses on his chest, "I missed this the most."

"The angry fight sex?" He laughs, brushing your hair from your face when you look up at him.

"No, the cuddles after." You reach up and boop his nose, "you're always so sweet after."

"How could I ever stay mad at you when you take me so well? My pretty Kitten." He holds you tighter, like if he doesn't you're going to drift away again. “And then you smile at me like that.”

"See, sweet."

"Only for you."

"Hmm," you ponder, still wrapped up in your afterglow, "no one ever loved me the way you do." you whisper the throw away thought.

"They couldn't.” he gives you a tiny kiss on your hand,  “Noone else appreciated how spectacular you are."

"I'm not, I-".

"You are the most incredible person I've ever met. And I never knew what you wanted with me or what I did to deserve you, but I know that my life is not right without you in it. In whatever way I can have you."

"Billy what are we going to do about-" he cuts you off with a kiss.

"Don't." He pleads, "not while I'm still inside you. This is all I need," he gives you a squeeze, "to know that you're mine, that you love me too."

"I'm not yours." 

"You have always been mine, Kitten."

[lavendertales]

SEÑORITA: Chapter 1

pairing: Javier Peña x Murphy!f!reader

summary: your estranged brother Steve drops by your apartment in New York in hopes of reconciliation and a temporary place to stay. Reluctant, you agree, but get more than what you've been told when you meet your mysterious new neighbor—and coincidentally, Steve's best friend.

word count: 2.1k

series warnings: reluctant friends to lovers, lots of playful banter, mutual pining, slow burn, secret relationship, filthy smut.

series masterlist | AO3

Perhaps he shouldn’t be this nervous. Perhaps the severity of the situation is just in his head.

But then again, it’s been a while since he’s seen you. And while you did keep in touch over the years, he’s not stupid enough to think that your relationship isn’t strained anymore.

It very much is.

Maybe this new chapter in his life can mean a fresh start for the two of you. He’d love to be friends with you and do his duties as a bigger brother properly.

“I think it’s cute you’re nervous,” Connie smiles at him.

Steve squeezes her hand tighter, a firm reassurance he seeks that yes, this is all mostly in his head and you won’t turn them away. Olivia coos in Connie’s arms and Steve reaches to pinch her nose playfully, to which she giggles.

“We haven’t seen each other in years,” he says absentmindedly. “Kept in touch briefly but… you know.”

“You’re overthinking this. She’s your sister. I’m sure it’ll be fine. Besides, she’s not heartless.”

“I know. I’m counting on the fact that she at least likes you better than me. And let’s face it, no one can refuse Olivia.”

Connie smiles as she watches Steve tickle their daughter, taking a deep breath. She’d known about you and Steve’s strained relationship and she knows what caused the fallout too, but she is far too sensible to say it flat out. She suspects Steve is aware of it too; he’s too smart not to.

But showing up unannounced on your doorstep, asking for a temporary place of residence till their place is ready might be stretching it too far.

“Okay,” Steve exhales long, staring at the door. “Number eighteen. Here we are.”

“Do you want me to knock?”

“No, it’s fine.”

With one last deep breath, Steve finally knocks on the door, his heart in his throat. The anticipation is nearly tearing him apart. Last time he saw you was before he embarked on the dangerous trip to Colombia, and the farewell hadn’t been that emotional.

Yet somehow, standing in front of this wooden door with a massive knot in his throat and stomach is very much emotional.

At last, a figure opens the door, the face obviously surprised and doing nothing to conceal it.

“Steve,” you coo, taken aback.

“Hey, sis.”

You stare at each other for what feels like the longest time, and it’s not until your eyes land on Connie that you brighten up.

“Long time no see huh?” Steve smiles rather awkwardly.

“Yeah, it’s been a while.”

You don’t hug; there is a certain awkwardness that still runs between the two of you, taunting you both, and you allow for it. After all, you know more about your stubborn and overly-protective version of Steve than you know of the version you were once friends with.

You sure were close when you were kids.

Whenever your parents weren’t around, Steve was the one to watch over you. He’s three years older, which means he carried your backpack, lunchbox, even made you lunch on some days as he guided you to the classroom himself. He always had your back and you always had his. For years, Steve was the only real friend you could count on.

But as you grew into adolescence, Steve’s instincts began to worsen and toughen. Where he exuded the typical big brother protectiveness as a kid, as a teenager he became almost unbearable. Always had a say in who you were dating and trying to sabotage your dates and relationships and even though you tried to give him the benefit of the doubt a lot of the time, thinking he had the best intentions, you started to argue with each other all the time.

And slowly but surely, you and Steve drifted apart.

You kept in touch over the past few years, especially when you learned that he was going to work in Colombia in the DEA, but there is still resentment to be felt.

“Hi Con, great to see you again,” you smile wide. “And who’s this little lady?”

You smile as you approach the baby, curious and giggling at you.

“This is Olivia,” Connie explains, beaming. “Steve found her in a building back in Colombia, her mother shot dead next to her and next thing we knew, we adopted her.”

“Oh, poor thing. It’s so amazing what you guys did for her.”

Olivia grabs your finger, still inspecting you with big eyes. You play a little more with her, teasing and chuckling when she does, momentarily forgetting that you’re face to face with your estranged brother, your sister-in-law and your niece.

Oh God. You’re an aunt.

“Okay, so what brings you guys here?” you finally ask. “I get the feeling it’s not just to introduce me to my niece.”

“Not exactly, no,” Steve admits, rather embarrassed.

When he’s met with your questionable glare, Steve clears his throat, suddenly very nervous.

“Well,” Connie takes the reins instead, “Steve got a job at a local precinct here as a consultant. Basically helping with the crimes and whatnot, but not on the field. We agreed it’s best for him after all the mess in Colombia.”

“Understandable.”

“And we did get an apartment, but it won’t be ready for two weeks. Sanitizing and all that. So uh… we were hoping we could stay with you till it’s ready.”

“A couple of weeks you said.”

“Mhm.”

Steve doesn’t like the tone of your voice.

“I do have a roommate you know,” you say in a flat voice, and he gulps. “You remember Sylvia, right? She went to college with me?”

“Oh yeah, small, blonde, green eyes…”

Connie raises her brows at him. “Wow, you do have a type, don’t you?”

“Guilty as charged.”

“We know it’s a lot to ask and that we sprung this on you out of the blue, but we had nowhere else to go. Renting a hotel here is… shockingly expensive.”

“Sadly, that is true. But anyway, about Sylvie, both our names are on the lease and we split the rent, but for the past four months she’s basically moved in with her boyfriend, Zack. She rarely comes around, maybe to have some coffee with me or breakfast. So I suppose she won’t mind if you take her room for a couple of weeks.”

Connie’s face brightens, while Steve’s knots loosen up, feeling slightly more at ease.

“Thank you so much,” Connie smiles and you reciprocate happily. “Olivia won’t be much trouble either, I’m sure. She’s pretty calm. And she seems to really like you.”

“Well the feeling is mutual. Isn’t it? Yeah!”

Steve can’t help but smile at the image of his little sister and his daughter giggling, a little something that makes him think perhaps things will be okay in the end. That maybe the two of you could finally bury the hatchet and become friends again.

He’d love nothing more.

“Murphy?”

Both you and Steve turn to the hallway, the coarse voice catching your attention. But Steve’s face is now riddled with confusion more than anything else.

“Which one?” you ask the stranger. “There’s… three of us here. Four, if you count the baby, but somehow I doubt that’s who you meant.”

The stranger’s brows crease in your direction, as if studying you really upfront. He’s wearing a turquoise shirt, tucked neatly into his jeans and a leather jacket atop, and he’s… well. He is handsome, that much is certain. Dark chestnut hair combed, chocolate eyes, filled with something dark and mysterious, freshly shaven face and moustache. Generally speaking, you don’t like guys with moustaches. But somehow, this guy makes it work.

Really well.

But that’s just the first impression. He could still be an axe killer.

“I meant Steve,” the stranger clarifies, approaching him and shakes his hand, much to your dismay. “Hey, Con.”

“Hi, Javi.”

“What are you doing here?” Steve asks him.

“Moved in upstairs. Been living here for a couple of days already.”

Your mind tries to trace back to the past several days, wondering if you’d had any interaction with the man—Javi, apparently—but you can’t think of anything. You must’ve probably dismissed his existence altogether.

Surely you would’ve remembered him otherwise.

“Of course you did,” Steve notices with an awkward smile on his face and a long exhale.

You clear your throat, purposely loud, which catches the attention of the men.

“Right, sorry. Javier, this is my sister.”

You give him your name as you shake his hand, warm and soft into yours. Your eyes lock, and for the briefest of seconds, you see a whole other world in his eyes. A world where there’s no restraint, no distractions, no one else but the two of you.

Holy shit. This reminds you of the other guys you dated in high school, how their bad boy allure sucked you in without any warning.

Is this Javier a bad boy too? That would suck, considering they used to be your kryptonite.

“Javier Peña, hola señorita,” he retorts, and you make an impressed face.

Manners. Huh. That’s something none of your former boyfriends possessed.

“So this is the infamous Javier Peña,” you say, your eyes scanning his face.

“Depends on what you heard.”

“I heard you made a fantastic partner for my brother and you had each other’s backs.”

“Then yeah, that would be me.”

You smile fleetingly, and Steve coughs. “Hey Jav, can I talk to you for a bit?”

“Alright.”

“I’ll—help Connie and Olivia settle in.”

The moment you disappear inside the apartment, Steve turns to Javier, his hands on his hips as he tries to compose his thoughts.

“Alright, so here’s the deal,” he begins. “My sister’s off limits.”

Javier’s frown deepens. “I’m not gonna do anything.”

“That’s what you always say before you do something. And that something is usually any woman within a ten mile radius.”

Javier scoffs. Much as he’d like to argue against his friend’s words, he knows damn well that’s exactly how he behaved in the past.

“Fine, point taken,” Javier admits. “But I don’t do that anymore. It’s a closed chapter. And c’mon, I’d never hurt you or anyone from your family.”

“No, I know. Didn’t mean to imply… it’s just…” Steve huffs before continuing. “Heads up, she can be kind of a pain in the ass. Growing up, even if she’s my little sister, she’s the one who bullied me. So for your own sake, and hers, hands off.”

“Well now I kinda wanna fool around with her.”

Noticing Steve’s darkened expression, which is a rare occurrence in and of itself, Javier puts both hands in the air, signaling surrender of some sort.

“I’m kidding!” he does his best to laugh it off. “I’m kidding, I swear.”

“I need to hear you say it.”

“Say what?”

“Say you won’t put any moves on my sister.”

Even if Javier rolls his eyes, he concedes. “I won’t put any moves on your sister.”

“Good, thank you.”

“What if she puts the moves on me though? I can reciprocate then, right?”

Steve’s face darkens again.

“I’m kidding! Shit, you’re really pissy about this.”

“She better not put any moves on you either,” Steve groans. “Unfortunately, you’re just the type of guy she used to go for in the past. And it never ended well.”

“I don’t know if I should be offended or not.”

“Don’t be. She used to have a huge thing for bad boys and it’s part of why our relationship got so cold. I tried to keep her away from them but she got sneakier and smarter, we fought a lot…”

“I promise I won’t do anything.”

Javier puts a reassuring hand over his shoulder, and that seems to calm Steve down. He hadn’t ever seen the latter so agitated and anxious, and that says a lot considering the environment they worked in for several years.

“If you two are done cuddling, Connie’s asking for you,” your voice booms behind them.

Steve complies and goes inside the apartment, leaving you and Javier alone for a single moment.

“I guess I’ll see you around, neighbor,” you say.

Javier doesn’t say anything, allowing you to close the door and disappear into the apartment. He faintly remembers Steve mentioning he has a younger sister, but he never really paid attention. He didn’t care.

And he doesn’t care now. Sure, you’re a pretty girl, but you are far from his type. You’re more next-door-girl kind of attractive, and not that there’s anything wrong with that, nothing whatsoever; it’s just not what Javier goes for.

He supposes that will make things easier for him to keep his promise.

next

tags: @pedrostories @milkymoon2483 @ifall4dilfs

[marauders-peace]

Tangled in lies

Summary: When your longtime crush is your best friends ex, things aren't really going well. And on a party you go together everything changes.

Pairing: Sirius black x hufflepuff!reader

Warnings: toxic friendship, past toxic relationship (not with the reader), insecurities, self conscious , fake dating (not in this but in the next parts)

Wc: +4100 i hope you like it. The last week I was working on it <3

Masterlist

Prologue part 1

"Did you see that? He just winked at me! I told you there's still something between us!" Seraph whispered in my ear. It seemed like he winked at m-… But she was probably right; I shouldn't think narcissistically.

Three months ago, she and Sirius broke up because he saw her apparently fooling around with another boy. She insisted that he meant everything to her and the other boy meant nothing, but he didn't listen.

In the past few weeks, tension had been building up between them. Seraph saw it as a sign that he couldn't be without her. I don't know what he was thinking; I don't know him well.

But I wish I did.

"Whisky? Are you listening to me?" Seraph brought me back to the present.

"Yes, sorry. I just remembered something."

She looked at me skeptically. "What is it?"

'Hey, what's your name?' His voice echoed in my ears. It sounded so beautiful. 'I'm-' 'Whisky, where are you?' Seraph searched for me. 'Always the same with this girl…' she whispered, but I heard it anyway. But she surely didn't mean it that way. 'Whisky?' he asked with a grin that, with anyone else, would have seemed like he was making fun of them. But with Sirius, it just looked charming.

'Ah, there you are!' Seraph came over to us before I could say anything. She glanced at me briefly, then at Sirius. Then she smiled at me. 'Come, Whisky, you must be tired; after all, we have a test tomorrow, and you wanted to go to bed early.' I still don't know why she said that back then; I never said I wanted that.

She turned to Sirius. 'She's a real nerd.' She laughed loudly, but I didn't understand what was so funny. 'You know, once when she didn't get enough sleep before a test, she vomited on her exam paper! That's why she had to retake the test under difficult conditions. She was embarrassed for weeks.'

Why was she telling him that? I was still ashamed.

Sirius grinned at me even wider. 'Then I won't stop you, little Whisky. You can go to sleep before you vomit again tomorrow.' He laughed, and she laughed with him. I eventually left without her; she had probably forgotten that she came for me, after all.

"I just remembered your first encounter with Sirius." My first encounter with him.

She smiled. "Yes, I remember it well too. We clicked right away." While I couldn't get a word out.

"That's why I'm shocked that he's resisting reconciliation now! We were such a beautiful couple!"

Yes, they were. Better than I could ever have been with him.

"He'll surely come to you soon and listen to you," I reassured her.

She smiled at me even more brightly. "Thanks, Whisky, you're the best!"

The bell rang. The next class was about to start.

"I'll head to Potions now. See you later." She quickly gathered her things and was about to leave, but then she turned around.

"Wait, Whisky, I have a small favor to ask. Could you help me with the Defense Against the Dark Arts homework? I got detention with Slughorn and don't have time to do it anymore."

I nodded to her as she turned away.

"Thanks!" she called out as she rushed to the next class.

Sometimes it felt like she couldn't wait to get away from me.

~

I had Transfiguration class with Professor McGonagall. During these classes, the Marauders, including Sirius, were also present. I sat next to James, who, for reasons I won't mention, was seated away from Sirius.

At first, I thought maybe he would hate me because of the whole Seraph and Sirius situation, but he was surprisingly nice to me. He always worked with me in partner activities and didn't leave me to do everything alone.

Today, he smiled at me as we started working. "Okay, my favorite Hufflepuff, what do you think today?"

"Well, I think we need to transform the chair into a crocodile," I replied sarcastically. He laughed at that.

"No, that's not what I meant. I wanted to ask if you're coming to the party tonight?"

Party? Usually, Seraph would tell me about it, but this time, she hadn't mentioned a word.

"Actually, I had plans for tonight…" "Oh, come on, you have to come! Something big is going to happen at the party tonight, believe me. You need to see it!" he boasted. I chuckled at that.

"I'll ask Seraph," I said finally. He looked at me strangely.

"Why do you have to ask her? That self absorbed Slytherin already knows about the party and will be there; we already know that."

We. He wasn't just talking about himself; everyone knew she would be at the party. Sirius knew she would be at the party. Everyone except me.

"Don't talk about her like that. She's very nice, you know?" I defended her. Yes, she was nothing but nice to me. She was the first friend I found here.

But he just laughed. "Nice? Come on, 'Whisky,' she uses everyone around her! Sirius has seen it up close, and I'm sure you know it too."

"I told you to stop talking about her like that!" I snapped at him. He looked surprised, but he didn't say anything more. I hated that his words were making me doubt myself. Seraph was my best friend. If I couldn't trust her, then who could I trust?

James cleared his throat shortly after. "Will you still come? We'd love to have you there."

We.

"I'll consider it. I would like to come too." I finally said.

He gave me another smile, and we continued working.

~

"Why didn't you tell me about the party?" Why did you tell me you had detention when you were actually going to a party?

Seraph looked surprised. "Well, the last time at one of the parties, you left early. I thought you would feel uncomfortable."

I left early because you and Sirius were making fun of me. Because you ruined any chance I might have had with him.

"I'd like to go with you."

She looked briefly disappointed. Almost angry that I said that. But then she smiled again. "If you want to. Let's go together tonight."

Relief washed over me. That was Seraph, my friend. Why was I thinking all these things about her? Do you really don't know?

~

"Do you really want to wear that? I mean, I don't mind, it just looks a bit weird. It accentuates that you've gained weight, don't you think?" Seraph explained without stopping.

I suddenly felt uncomfortable. I had wanted to wear a dress, but now all I saw was myself looking like a duck in it.

"It somehow doesn't suit you, right? I mean, there are other things that look better on you! Like…" she paused painfully long.

Finally, she just said, "Forget it." I ended up just putting on a big sweater and loosely fitting pants.

"What do you think of this?" Seraph came out of the bathroom with a beautiful dress. It accentuated all her curves, and the color suited her black hair and blue eyes perfectly.

I smiled at her, even though something inside me tightened. "You look great."

She smiled back at me. "Could you help me with the makeup?"

Of course, I helped her.

She didn't even ask if I wanted to wear makeup too. Maybe it wouldn't help me anyway.

"So! Finally done," Seraph said, looking into the mirror once more. "It's not my best work, but whatever."

She looked like a goddess next to me. She was perfect, oh so perfect. How much I wished…

No, I'm being unreasonable.

She turned to me and smiled. "Shall we go then?"

She didn't even think that maybe I'd get ready too. I have to follow her lead.

I nodded and smiled. "Sure. You look wonderful."

She laughed. "Be careful not to fall in love with me!"

I forced myself to laugh along with her.

No worries, that won't happen anytime soon.

Then we went to the party.

~~

It was loud. Many people were there, pushing and squeezing together. Seraph seemed to thrive in this environment. She just rushed into the crowd without waiting for me.

But I was used to it, and I managed to keep up with her anyway.

She danced on the dance floor, laughing and singing along with the others. She danced with the people there, and the lights illuminated them all perfectly. She moved through the sea of lights like the sun amidst the planets.

I didn't even bother trying to dance; I knew I was terrible at it. Seraph moved so naturally, while I just felt awkward.

So I stood outside the dance floor and watched her. Without her, I felt somewhat lost. Although I actually liked being here, without her, everything felt so new. She was always the one pulling me along everywhere. Without her, I was on my own.

I shook my head. I wanted to be here! So I should make the most of it.

I sat at the bar where I had a good view of the dance floor. That way, Seraph could easily find me too. I ordered a drink and looked around. There were really a lot of people there, almost too many for my taste, but it was still okay.

"Hey, it's good to see you here," I heard the voice I never expected would talk to me.

Sirius sat next to me as if I were a close acquaintance, and it was the most natural thing in the world.

I glanced at him briefly, then looked away. "I think you've got the wrong person."

I felt his gaze on me, and his voice sounded amused. "Why do you think I'm in the wrong place?"

I gave in and looked at him. "Do you know who I am?"

He laughed and stared at me for a while. When I looked at him inquiringly, his smile disappeared, and he looked puzzled. "Damn, you're serious. 'Whisky' , did you forget? We talked last Christmas. Besides, we have many classes together, and my friends and I literally invited you. You're not as invisible as you think," he said, looking bewildered.

His words overwhelmed me. I always thought I went unnoticed when Seraph was in the same room. Everyone immediately talked to her. There was nothing wrong with that, when she was seraph and i were me.

Suddenly, I felt uncomfortable under Sirius' gaze. If he knew who I was, why was he talking to me? Did he want to ask about Seraph?

Yes, that must be it. He wants to ask me how to get along better with Seraph.

"Hey, are you still there?" he suddenly asked. I nodded briefly and took a sip of my drink.

I stared straight ahead. I couldn't meet his gaze again. There was something intense in his eyes, and it made me nervous.

"Do you like it here?" he continued undeterred. Despite me not contributing much to the conversation, he was making an effort.

"Yes, it's pleasant," I replied, wanting to say more, but only thoughts about Seraph came to mind, and I didn't want to mention her first to him.

I could hear the smile in his voice. "I'm glad. We put in a lot of effort. Today is meant to be perfect."

I couldn't help but wonder what he meant by that. Was he finally going to reconcile with her?

"Sirius!!!" I heard her shout. She ran towards us, no, towards him, trying to hug him, but he dodged her. Eventually he couldn't dodge her longer and she clung on him like a koala bear.

Speak of the devil.

"Seraphine, could you please let go of me?" Sirius' eyes were narrowed as he looked at Seraph, who was pouting.

"Full name? What happened to Sera? You're so cold, Siri!" she said but eventually let him go.

Sirius rolled his eyes in annoyance. "I wonder where that comes from."

She just shook her head in response. "Come on, Sirius, you can stop pretending to hate me. You know it was nothing serious with him!"

He snorted and wrinkled his nose. "I know it wasn't serious. You were making out with three other guys that week, and those are just the ones I know of."

She did what??

Seraph glanced briefly at me, as if she just noticed I was there, then looked back at Sirius. "You broke my heart! You can't blame me for wanting to have some fun!"

"I don't know how much 'fun' you've had during our relationship, and honestly, I don't want to know." Sirius finally said, then he turned to me.

"Where were we? Oh yes, preparing for the party! Yes, we had a lot of fun, and I'm glad you're enjoying it. Have you danced yet?"

Before I could answer, Seraph spoke for me. "Oh, please, Whisky and dancing? Come on, stop pretending you're actually interested in her; it won't make me jealous!"

He didn't even turn around; he just looked into my eyes. "Did I talk to you, Seraphine? No, I didn't. And unlike you, I don't talk to people just to use them, so shut up!"

I felt out of place and wanted to leave when he asked again, "Have you danced yet?"

After Seraph's words, I felt embarrassed to shake my head, but saying it out loud would only make it more awkward.

He smiled gently, as if Seraph wasn't standing angry behind him. "Would you like to dance with me?"

He extended his hand towards me, and I could hear Seraph sharply inhale. "Sirius, you're acting ridiculous, don't you realize? I mean, why are you asking her when I'm right here-"

"CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I REALLY WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU??" he angrily yelled at her.

She fell silent after that. I saw something glimmer in her eyes, and I immediately felt guilty.

"I hate you!" she shouted before rushing off to the restroom.

He sighed, almost relieved, and turned back to me. "Would you?" he asked, with that smile again. And there came my problem. I wanted to. And it felt like I was the worst person in the world for it.

Tears welled up in me as I thought of Seraph, probably crying her eyes out.

Sirius' gaze was still focused on me, but I had already made up my mind.

"Sorry, I have to go through, can you move aside?" I asked him without looking at him.

I could feel his disappointment as he stepped aside and let me go after Seraph.

I quickly ran after her to the girls' restroom, so I wouldn't change my mind.

~

Inside, it smelled, and the air was stuffy.

Seraph stood in front of the mirror, reapplying her lipstick. She didn't turn to look at me and just kept going. "There you are. I thought I had lost my best friend to that wannabe Casanova."

She wasn't crying. She was fine. "I thought you were -" I started, but she just laughed.

"Those crocodile tears I pulled out? They were just for show."

She inspected her eyes and sighed in annoyance. "But now I have to redo my eyeliner! Well, hopefully, he feels guilty now and comes begging for my forgiveness!"

"I thought you weren't feeling well. I thought you needed my help!" I was bewildered. Was all that just for show?

She didn't even look at me. "Come on, Whisky, it's not a big deal. I'm just trying to get back together with my ex-boyfriend; after all, he broke my heart!"

She now did her other eye. "And he's just as terrible. I mean, asking you to dance in front of me? He's trying to use you against me, that bastard! You should be much more upset about it!"

"I don't think -"

She burst out laughing. "Please, Whisky, as if he ever really wants to have anything to do with you! He was a jerk to you from the moment we first met; you just don't interest him!"

That hurt. Even though I should already know that. But hearing it from her hurt more than it should. Tears welled up in me, and I tried to turn away so she wouldn't notice, but she already did.

She sighed loudly and finally turned around. "Whisky, please don't cry again. I don't mean it in a mean way; I'm just being realistic."

I nodded vigorously, so she would stop talking and I could calm down. But then, a sob escaped me.

She came from behind me and hugged me. "I just want to protect you. He will only take advantage of you. I don't want to see you hurt, especially not because of him. Isn't one broken heart because of Sirius enough?"

I nodded and hugged her back. After a while, she gently pushed me. "Come on, that's enough crying now; you'll ruin my dress."

I quickly let go of her and went to the sink to wash my face.

Then she took my arm. "Come on, we can leave. By now, he should feel guilty enough."

I just nodded and followed her, as always.

~~

Seraph walked with her head held high through the crowd, ignoring the people around her. She tried to act as hurt as possible, to make it 'not so easy for Sirius' – her words, not mine.

I tried to hide behind her and shrink myself. I looked down and followed her fast steps.

It was a weird situation that I couldn't handle. I hoped Sirius wouldn't approach me again.

Seraph headed for the bar, but on the exact opposite side from where we were before.

"I really need a drink," she whispered to me. I just nodded and followed her to the bar.

Instead of the guy who was serving drinks before, James and Peter were there now, apparently discussing something. Peter looked concerned, but James was just smiling and shaking his head.

Seraph went to the bar and raised her hand, demanding attention. "Bartender!" she called as if they were her slaves. Although she knew James and Peter well as they were friends with Sirius, she didn't let it show.

James came over to us, while Peter looked worried in our direction. I wondered what that was supposed to mean.

"What can I get for our snake?" James asked with a sugary voice and a fake smile.

Seraph didn't even flinch. "Your humor is still in the basement, Potter."

"I think it's yours that's in the basement, considering you took that as a joke. I was quite serious." he retorted.

Seraph looked challengingly into his eyes. "I just want a simple lemonade, but if that's too difficult for your little brain, you can also make me a cocktail, as you seem to know them by heart with how much you drink!" With that, she turned around and went to the dance floor.

I probably had to bring her the drink.

James grumbled. "Inflated bit-, what do you want, Huffle?" he asked me finally.

I pointed to the first drink on the menu and kept an eye out for her, so I wouldn't lose her.

Seraph danced energetically with the crowd. She laughed with a few Slytherin girls who were her roommates.

It makes me sad that we are in different houses, but on the other hand, I'm glad that we are still good friends.

Yet, an uneasy feeling arises within me when she laughs with these girls. It always feels like they are looking down on me.

"Here are your drinks." James placed two drinks on the counter. One was a lemonade, the other a fancy fruit and sugar drink that I didn't recognize. Oh God.

"Thanks." I said and waved to seraph to come and get her drink. Normally, I would go to her, but it wouldn't be a good idea to run around with my drink.

Seraph was engrossed in her conversation with them, so she didn't notice me. Then, one of the girls smiled at me, but it wasn't a friendly smile. She laughed and said something to seraph. She laughed in response and slowly came over to me.

"She always leaves you alone," I heard James' voice behind me. I ignored him and smiled at seraph, handing her the drink.

She looked at my drink for a long moment. Then she looked at me skeptically. "Do you really want to drink that? It has a lot of sugar and calories, and you already had a piece of cake today. So it's your decision. But I'd trade with you; the lemonade has not that much sugar in it."

My stomach suddenly felt strange, and I felt even more uncomfortable in my skin.

I just nodded and handed her my drink, while she gave me hers.

"Thanks," I said before she took a big sip from my drink, no, from her drink.

"No problem, I just want to help you," she said finally. "I'll go over to Cassie and Phina for a moment, okay?" she said before going to the other girls.

I felt terribly abandoned. And I know it's childish, but it hurt that she didn't even ask if I wanted to come too.

I finished my lemonade and turned to the bar.

But then, I saw James' pale face.

And then, everyone around me fell silent.

I looked around, and all eyes were on me. Then I heard laughter around me and saw amused looks.

The laughter grew louder until everyone was laughing.

"Hey, are you sure you're not in Slytherin?" a boy asked with a smile before bursting into loud laughter.

I looked at my reflection in the glasses, which reflected my new neon green hair.

I slowly went to the restroom, until I eventually ran away. I swung the door to the restroom open and suddenly got drenched in water.

A bucket full of water had fell on me, from on the door and the laughter behind me grew louder.

I quickly closed the door behind me to muffle the laughter. I locked myself in the restroom and stared at my neon green hair, which hadn't lost any intensity despite the water.

Tears welled up in me as I looked at my ugly appearance, and I hoped seraph would come soon.

I waited.

And waited.

But she didn't come to check on me.

After a while that felt incredibly long, I heard footsteps going into one of the other restroom stalls. I tried to be as quiet as possible, suppressing my sobbing and breathing softly.

I heard the flush and footsteps going to the sink.

"Hey, do you need help?" The female voice was unfamiliar. At first, I thought she might be talking to someone else, but then she came to my stall.

"It's not as bad as you think, really. It actually looks pretty." she said.

"Yeah, sure. I have eyes, I know how bad it looks, you know?" I whispered back. I was very quiet, but she seemed to have heard me.

"I'm serious. Really."

There was silence. "Aren't you going to come out?" the girl asked.

"No." I whispered, and at the end, it turned into a sob.

"I'm Marlene. What's your name?"

She was kind to me, but I wasn't really in a condition to answer properly. As her footsteps moved away slightly, panic surged within me.

"I'm (y/n)." I finally said in a firmer voice.

"Okay, (y/n), you can always come to me and my friends if someone bothers you, okay?" Her voice turned serious, and it held a promise.

"Okay." I replied. "Thank you."

I could hear the smile in her voice. "Always happy to help."

Then she left.

~

I was alone for a long time. I had already given up hope that my friend would come and check on me, so I hid, hoping that eventually, there would be no one left outside.

But eventually, I heard voices approaching the restroom. They stood outside the girls' restroom door and seemed to be arguing. And then, I recognized them.

"Omg, I just don't understand you! Your best friend is in there, and you're out here laughing as if nothing happened!" Sirius scolded my friend.

Seraph just groaned annoyed. "And here I thought you were following me to apologize."

Sirius took a sharp breath. "Are you even listening to me? (Y/n) was just humiliated in front of everyone, why don't you go in and see her?"

Seraph's voice grew louder. "Just because something stupid happened to her, and she's hiding in the restroom, doesn't mean I should let it ruin my fun too. Fuck, if we hadn't swapped drinks on a whim, I'd have the green hair, right? I can be thankful for that; that would've been the worst!"

Tears welled up in me again.

Sirius' voice also grew louder. "Is it always just about you? Wait, I know it is, I've been with you long enough. You're one of the most selfish and narcissistic people I know! There's your reason why I don't want anything to do with you!"

Seraph laughed loudly in response. "Now I'm the bad one? Oh please, Sirius, don't make a fool of yourself! I think we both know why her hair is now this disgusting green. You and your friends wanted to dye my hair because you know how much I care about it!"

Her voice grew slightly softer. "Your actions have consequences, Sirius. You know you're to blame for her crying her eyes out in there."

Then it was silent. I heard my breath and my heart beating for a while. Than there was a loud clapping sound. It was sounding like a slap.

"Are you going to check on her now?" Sirius said much calmer than before. Seraph had slapped him.

"You know what, Sirius? Fuck you, seriously! Instead of apologizing to me for this prank, I'm now supposed to clean up your mess!" Seraph yelled at him.

"She has the green hair, not you. She's your friend; I don't think she wants to see me. Besides, it's the girls' restroom." Sirius said, almost accusatory.

"That's your problem. I don't have to cling to my friends all the time like a parasite; I'm allowed to have some fun too!" Then I heard her running away.

She didn't have fun with me? Was I just a clingy parasite to her?

I heard Sirius sigh. Then I heard his footsteps fading away, and I had never felt so alone.

I stayed in the girls' restroom for a long time. I was ashamed to come out. Eventually, when I couldn't hear anyone anymore, I sneaked away in the shadows of the darkness, heading to the Hufflepuff common room.

From there, I went to my shared room with other girls. They were already asleep; I must have spent quite a long time in the restroom. My eyes burned from all the tears that had been shed, and my hair seemed to glow in the darkness.

I tiptoed into my bed and pulled the blanket over my head to hide my hair. I was afraid to face the school. But now it was the weekend. I could continue hiding here for a while.

~~

"(y/n)? Are you there?" Lydia, one of my roommates, asked. She seemed nice, but since I was always with Seraph, we had never really talked. Until now.

"Yes?" I whispered back. I was afraid she might see my ugliness, afraid she would laugh at me too.

"Don't you want to have breakfast?" Her voice was gentle, with a hint of concern.

"No, I'm not really hungry," I replied, not moving an inch under my blanket.

"Okay, we'll go then."

"Mhm…" I hummed and waited until everyone had left. Then, I slowly got up and went to the small bathroom. I locked the door and looked in the mirror.

Unchanged.

If my tears hadn't run out from last night, I would have burst into tears again.

I washed my face and brushed my teeth. Then I stepped into the shower. I scrubbed and scrubbed my hair, but the color wouldn't fade away.

I spent a lot of time in the shower. At some point, I just let the water pour down on me, drowning my thoughts. My skin turned red, and I sank to the shower floor.

I was simply exhausted.

Eventually, I turned off the water and just sat there, too exhausted and scared to come out.

Knocking woke me from my slumber. I had fallen asleep on the floor.

"(y/n)? Are you in there?"

I tried to answer, but my voice wouldn't obey me. I layed helplessly on the floor, attempting to say something, but nothing came out.

"(y/n)? Hey, what's wrong?"

I tried to sit up, but I felt dizzy. I leaned against the wall and finally managed to say something. "Nothing, I'm fine."

There was a brief silence. "Have you eaten anything?"

"Yes," I lied, not wanting her to worry unnecessarily.

"But you weren't at dinner. Black asked about you," she said.

Dinner? How long had I been lying here on the floor? Sirius asked about me?

"I'll come out soon," I said, attempting to get up. But suddenly everything spun, and my stomach churned. I looked down at the sink, and before I realized what was happening, I vomited.

"OMG, ARE YOU VOMITING? DON'T SAY YOU'RE FINE!" Lydia suddenly shouted from outside. I vomited again, and in the end, my legs gave out. I collapsed under the sink, new tears streaming down my face.

"(Y/N), LET ME IN!" Lydia continued to scream. She was panicking.

"Don't worry. It's over," I whispered weakly. "I'm okay now, I just felt nauseous."

"Are you sure?" Lydia asked in a calmer but still concerned tone.

"Yes, I'll be out soon."

I waited until they were asleep, then I tiptoed to my bed in the darkness. Once again, I hid under my blanket, hoping I would never be seen again.

~~

When I woke up again, it was early. The others were still asleep. I didn't move and just waited to fall asleep again. I could hardly feel my legs, and my stomach churned.

Under the blanket, it was stifling, and after a while, breathing became painful. But I didn't want to uncover myself because then my hair would be visible.

I was scared. I could only hide today. Tomorrow, at the latest, I had to be there for the first class. The thought sent a cold shiver down my spine.

Would Seraph help me? No, actually, I didn't want to think about her. It would only remind me of her words in front of the bathroom. Just like Sirius and his friends.

Eventually, I gave up and sneaked into the bathroom. There was no trace of what happened yesterday. I washed my face and brushed my teeth again, looking into the mirror.

No matter how I looked at myself, the neon green hair always caught my eye. This color simply didn't suit me and didn't look good on me. Seraph would definitely rock it.

"I think we both know why her hair is now this disgusting green. You and your friends wanted to dye my hair because you know how much I care about it!"

But she wouldn't want to. And she doesn't have to.

I crept back into my bed and pulled the blanket over my head again. I had fresh oxygen now. Slowly but surely, I fell asleep again.

I was awakened by the movements of the others. They were getting ready for their weekend. I wished so much to be someone else and just enjoy my weekend. But with my hair, I wouldn't go anywhere.

"(y/n)? Are you still alive?" Maya asked ironically. I had never spoken to her, just like Lydia. "Yes, don't worry," I whispered back.

"Do you want to have breakfast with us today?" Maya asked. I had never had breakfast with them. We only saw each other in the room.

"Nice of you, but I'm not hungry." I felt sick and felt like a corpse.

"Hey, you didn't have breakfast yesterday either. Are you sure you don't want anything today?" Maya asked, and I answered with a soft yes.

She was silent for a while. But then she said in a new serious tone, "But you'll come with us tomorrow! And you will have breakfast, okay?"

I wanted to trust her, but I was so afraid that the same thing could happen as at the party. That they would all laugh at me. Still, I gave her my agreement and waited until they were out.

Then I slowly got out of my bed and got dressed. At first, I wanted to read, but the letters blurred before my eyes, and my head hurt terribly.

I locked myself in the bathroom again so that no one could see me when they came into our room. The others were nice, but I just didn't want anyone to see me.

I combed my hair, hoping that they would lose some color, but then I gave up. There was nothing to be done; my hair was green. I had to accept it.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. I became as quiet as possible, so no one would think someone was inside. The others weren't here, so the person would leave soon. It definitely wasn't Seraph.

"Whisky? Hey, I come in slowly, okay?"

Sirius. Of all the people here, Sirius was here to check on me.

He had done it. He and his friends. James, whom I trusted. Whom I worked with. Sirius, who wanted to defend me in front of Seraph, had humiliated me in front of everyone. And now he wanted to check on me? It had to be a bad joke.

"Are you in the bathroom? Am I disturbing?" he asked, sounding almost nervous.

"Yes." I just wanted him to go away.

He laughed nervously. "I'll wait here in the room for you, okay?"

NO, NO, NO! Anything but that!

"How did you even get in here?" I finally asked to get him to leave. But he answered quite normally and didn't seem to be ashamed of being in a girls' room.

"Your roommates gave me the password, and coming to the girls' sleeping quarters was no problem."

I fell silent and sat back down on the bathroom floor. If I stayed in here long enough, he would eventually leave and give up.

After a while of silence, he said something again. "Hey, is everything okay with you? What are you doing in there for so long?"

Since I had no answer to the second question, I just ignored it. "I'm fine," I said simply, hoping it would be enough.

He sighed. Apparently, it wasn't enough. "Whisky, I can understand that you don't want to see me, but I've been worried. You didn't even eat yesterday, and Lydia said you vomited."

"Don't call me that."

His voice changed from concerned to surprised. "What?"

"Don't call me Whisky!" I said louder. I couldn't stand hearing that nickname right now, especially from him.

There was silence for a while, but then Sirius laughed softly. "Okay, darling, if that's what you want. But actually, I'm here to bring you some food."

What?

"I'm not hungry," I said softly. I heard him sigh in response.

"Darling, you didn't eat yesterday; you have to eat something. Come out, please." His voice sounded almost pleading. Something in me weakened at that tone, and the anger towards him faded away.

But not the shame.

"You can leave it outside the door, and I'll eat it later," I said to make a compromise.

"But then I won't know if you really ate it!" he said now, desperation in his voice.

"I promise you I'll eat it," I said then. I could only hope that my word was enough for him.

"But I also wanted to check on you, see how you're doing," his voice became softer.

"I already said I'm fine."

Now his voice was so soft that I could barely hear it. "But I actually wanted to see you."

The anger from before suddenly rushed back, and I felt like some special animal at the zoo. "Sirius, if you came here to make fun of me, you can leave quickly," I said, my voice cold.

"No, I don't mean it that way. I didn't come to see your hair but to see you. Please, come out. Please!" Now he was really pleading.

I was afraid to meet his gaze, afraid that he had to hold back his laughter.

But something in me gave in, and my trembling legs moved towards the door. Slowly, I unlocked it. Then I waited for a moment to catch my breath before pressing down the door handle.

Sirius was sitting on my bed, looking down at the floor. I slowly walked towards him. Then I stopped and didn't know what to do next.

Then he looked up at me, meeting my eyes with that concern, but also with something I couldn't decipher. I had never seen such a look before.

"Come, darling, have something to eat," he whispered to me, pointing to the spot next to him, where he had brought some food.

I sat down slowly next to him, keeping a visible distance. Then I took the cutlery he had brought and tried to focus on the food. But it was difficult with Sirius Black sitting next to you, looking at you with that expression.

I took a bite and chewed. Then I swallowed, and for a moment, everything was fine. The next moment, I rushed to the bathroom and vomited.

"Damn it, darling, you look terrible! Why didn't you say anything? You need to go to the infirmary!" Sirius stood behind me, pulling my hair out of the way. He stroked my back and continued whispering to me. "Come on, I'll take you there."

Then everything went black.

~~

I saw white. The ceiling was white and seemed so far away. I wasn't in my bed. I was in the infirmary. Alone.

I slowly sat up, which demanded a lot of energy from me. I was separated from the others by a curtain around my bed, which relieved me.

But why was I here? What happened? What time was it?

I looked at the small nightstand next to me, where a little bouquet of flowers lay. There was a card attached to it.

'I don't know if you want to see me, but I hope you get better very soon! And take better care of yourself!

Sirius.'

The card was small but nice, and somehow it meant a lot to me.

Suddenly, the curtain was pulled aside, and Madam Pomfrey stood in front of me. She looked at me critically and shook her head. "Well, at least you're awake. But I've never seen anything like this! What were you thinking?"

"What?" I was confused. I didn't purposely faint; I couldn't control that.

"Well, not eating anything and drinking so little! Your circulation, especially your stomach, completely collapsed, which led to vomiting and fainting. Now your stomach is irritated, and you'll have to eat soup for a while." She placed some things on my nightstand, probably tablets.

"And I've never seen Sirius so panicked, and I see him here often. About every month to be exact, but this is different. Don't scare your boyfriend like that!"

I felt heat rising inside me and tried to suppress it. That was wrong; he was seraph's ex. But hadn't I already liked him before?

"I'm not his… I mean, he's not my-"

She furrowed her brow. "Not? He wouldn't leave your side and literally carried you in here. I thought you two were… well, maybe that will happen later. For now, you should focus on your health. You should've done that a long time ago!"

I only vaguely registered what she said. Sirius brought me here? Carried me here? THROUGH THE WHOLE CASTLE??

And I thought my hair would make me stand out, but now everything is ruined. I could already smell the rumors and suddenly had a terrible fear of leaving here. I used to never stand out next to seraph. But now? Now, I had attention, only the bad kind.

"What time is it?" I asked to distract myself.

"It's 6 PM on Monday. I'll bring you your dinner, and you'll eat it, young lady! You won't leave here until the day after tomorrow when your circulation is fully recovered." She said with a threatening tone. I nodded and started eating. I had slept for almost an entire day, and yet, I was still tired.

Somehow, I managed to finish the soup and almost immediately fell asleep again.

~~

I woke up to footsteps. Steps coming towards my bed. I became more nervous as they got closer. Then the curtains were pulled aside, and Seraph stood in front of me.

When her gaze met mine, she frowned. Her eyes fell on my hair, and I felt terribly small. Then she looked into my eyes. Her gaze was cold. No smile, no encouragement.

"Well, well, our little attention seeker is here." She spat the words out and looked at me as if I had committed the greatest crime.

"What do you mean?" I asked, even though I knew it would make her angry. But I couldn't apologize for something I didn't know.

Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "Oh, please, all this playing the victim is disgusting. All for the attention of a boy! And my ex, no less! You're truly a snake!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't pretend to be innocent! You're a little parasite who always clings to others and seeks their attention! I'm sick of you! And you wonder why I didn't tell you about the party? Simply because I'm ashamed of you! I hate being seen with you, and yet I put up with it! And how do you thank me? You try to go after my boyfriend! I don't regret giving you that potion! At least with that hair, there's something special about you, apart from your best friend!"

Every word stabbed my heart and tore it apart a little more. Every word seemed to drive her further into a rage. "You purposely gave me the potion drink? You knew about the prank?" I whispered with tears in my eyes.

"Well…" She laughed briefly. "It wasn't hard to figure out that something was in the drink. And I thought, why not let you try it. Don't worry; you weren't a bigger laughingstock than usual."

"I don't know what's gotten into you, but I never tried to take Sirius away from you or whatever you think!" I couldn't believe what was happening here.

"Oh, don't worry, I know you wouldn't have a chance with him anyway. He's only with you because he feels guilty and wants to annoy me. But we both know he's not interested in you." She mocked me.

"What's your problem?" I finally asked. "What have I done to you?"

She stomped aggressively. Then she looked into my eyes and came to my bed. Before she could say anything, her gaze fell on the flowers. I wanted to put them away, but she already grabbed the card.

"You've always attached yourself to me and hoped to get something from me. You waited until you could steal everything from me!" And then she ran away.

I stared after her and cried. I cried for a long time. Even though I knew none of the things she said were true, a part of me believed her. I had always been with her; maybe I really was too much. Perhaps I deserved all of this. Maybe I really was a snake.

"Love?"

Sirius.

I tried to wipe away my tears as quickly as possible and compose myself.

"I heard you woke up yesterday. Couldn't you have done that when I was here? I waited here yesterday until evening."

He was at my bedside now. "You really scared me."

He sat on the chair next to my nightstand, right beside me. I looked away so he wouldn't see my tear-streaked face.

"You waited for me to wake up?" It didn't feel right, not after the conversation with Seraph.

"Yes, of course. I was worried." Then there was silence. Seraph hadn't been worried. Seraph didn't even ask if I was feeling better.

"Wouldn't you have wanted me here when you woke up?" he asked, his voice suddenly vulnerable.

"What? Of course, I would have wanted you here?!" I said nervously.

He chuckled softly. "Are you saying you want me here with you?" His voice was playful.

I blushed. "What do you want from me?" I asked. I didn't know how to handle Sirius. I just didn't know what he wanted from me.

"Just the truth, darling, just the truth. Now tell me," he turned my face to him so he could look at me. "why were you crying?"

His hand remained on my cheek. "It's stupid." I whispered, trying to change the subject. But he shook his head. "It's not stupid if it made you cry. Please be honest with me, love. What hurt you so much?"

I had to look away to avoid his gaze. "Seraph was just here. She said some things, and I…" I didn't know why I was telling him this; I barely knew him. But there was something about Sirius that made me open up to him.

"What kind of crap did she spew this time?" Sirius's voice became tense and almost aggressive.

I looked into his eyes. Despite his tone, they were warm, soft, and kind. Yet, because of him, I had these hair now. Because of him, I was humiliated in front of everyone. Seraph's words echoed in my head. What if he was only here to make her angry?

"It's nothing important. But she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore." I said finally, looking away.

"She doesn't want anything to do with you? She should be grateful you put up with her for so long!" He said, annoyed. "Probably because of me, right? Because I brought you here yesterday?"

I couldn't look him in the eyes. "She thinks that…" I couldn't say it, but I didn't have to.

"I know what she thought."

We sat there in silence, and I felt terrible. What was I without Seraph? She had always been my friend, always decided what I should do.

But part of me was angry. Angry that she was playing with me like this. Angry that I could let myself be so influenced by her.

"Would it bother you?" Sirius suddenly asked.

"What?" I asked back.

He looked into my eyes. "If she thought we were together?"

My heart started racing, and I tried to look away, but I couldn't. His eyes seemed to hypnotize me.

"If the whole school thought there was something between us, would you be ashamed?" he continued.

"I don't know-" I was speechless; how could I answer that?

He laughed softly. "Do you not want to make Seraph really angry?"

Not really. But when I realized what he was talking about, my heart

continued to weaken.

"We can give her ego a little blow," he said with that irresistible Sirius Black smile.

"Sirius, I don't know…"

"Besides, it would take the focus off the prank, you know?" he said softly. His enthusiasm suddenly wavered. "And if it's too much for you, we can always stop! Let's just pretend to be together for 1-2 months or something."

1-2 months with him? Actually, I wanted to spend more time with him, get to know him. But doing this would only make Seraph angry. Seraph would think she was right.

In a moment of weakness, I nodded. "Okay."

He smiled at me. "Then starting tomorrow, we'll be a couple, darling."

[yourdearestenemyluke]

We need to talk about lucerys paying attention to aemond anytime he knows he won't get caught and the implications of that 🤌 like even at the pig scene he's already looking at aemond only stops chewing because of the dish

Like is this not deliberate? He's glancing at everyone but intently looks at aemond at the prayer scenes. Glancing at everyone seems to imply he's checking if everyone is doing it but then he stares right at aemond. This to me means interest, lucerys is less threatened by aemond and more fascinated by him only then he can have the courage to laugh

Then there's this,again the camera brings attention to them when talking about distant relations & while aemond for the first time refuses to look at lucerys, so as to not thinking about the lost relation or thoughts of reconciliation, there's obvious regret & longing on lukes face

Luke is first looking at aemond then he lowers his gaze when he's caught, but aemond instead of preening at the scared reaction from luke like he did during the petition scene, simply averts his gaze and looks sad.

This brings me to the pig dish scene, again lucerys was already looking at aemond as he went about eating. Which is all so fascinating because while he's scared of aemond and avert his gaze, but he openly stare at him when he knows aemond won't be looking back

While aemonds attention is vengeful interest, lucerys's seems more fascinated and longing, and now that we have script lines for the slashing scene we know he felt the horror of what he's done.

He seems to be less scared of what aemond could do to him and more what he's done to aemond.

and idk maybe wishes to reconcile, apologise, which looking at pig scene seems contradictory but again he's a teenager, who doesn't realise that prank might be hurtful or the exent of anger and obsession aemond harbours for him.

Also knowing aemonds interests beside vengeful were not hatred completely and not murderous, I want to explore his side too

[milkywayes]

dreamt a cipher

a shepard/garrus post-destroy ending longfic.

[AO3 link]

I’ve debated a while about when to start posting this. Now it’s the new year, and I’ve been working on Cipher for over a year and a half, and I’ve waited long enough to start sharing it with you all. I’ve decided it’s finally time to start uploading while I work on the final chapters.

I started writing this before I ever drew a single piece of fanart for Mass Effect. It’s all the things that were bouncing around in my head after choosing the destroy ending with a mostly-paragon Shepard—consequence and responsibility and self-recrimination; her relationship with Garrus and with herself; their ties to each other and how much weight they can bear; their differing perspectives and how they slot together—all that fun stuff—compressed into a story, a place, a narrative. 

I believe in the power of love, and I promise a happy ending. They’ve just been taking the long way to get there. Feel free to yell at me in the meantime.

A huge thank you to @callista-curations for her meticulous and invaluable beta work, and to @that-wildwolf and @gammaraydeath for being the best hypemen I could ask for!

A more detailed list of warnings can be found on AO3.

I've posted the full cover art here.

────

Summary:

Pairing: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian Rating: M (subject to change) Important Tags: post-destroy ending - angst with a happy ending - slow burn (of sorts) - arguing - reconciliation - survivor guilt - minor original characters Her own personal Noverian peak. That’s what it was supposed to be. Nothing but the discovery: no distractions, no comfort, no windows looking out—no familiar faces. But it's starting to look like her winning streak might have ended in that pile of Citadel rubble, if it ever extended that far to begin with. ──── “How does the Earth idiom go? No use beating a dead—” A long-suffering sigh. “What was it again?” “A dead horse. And yet, you’re here. Beating it.” Pot, kettle. She wishes he’d just fucking say it.

-> AO3.

Read the start of Chapter 1: Constant Velocity under the cut!

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The overhead lights flicker as they always do when the data screens are up and running. It’s not something one gets used to, even so. It stings at her ocular nerves—or something like that, anyway, somewhere along the delicate wires that extend from her eyeballs into her brain—but her focus on the data doesn’t waver.

“In that case,” says Shepard, squinting against the ache, “what we need is salvage from a relay outside the immediate burst zone. Four jumps away. Five, if possible. There’s no point to any of this if we can’t scrape together a control group.”

She glances back at Elsawy, who so far hasn’t made it more than a meter into the room. She nods without looking up from her omni-tool; orange shimmers off her shiny, black hair, giving her the uncomfortable air of a Cerberus operative. Not the worst comparison, except that Miranda would waste no time letting her know if her logic took a faulty turn somewhere. Elsawy’s just as likely to agree now and write a message detailing all her crap conclusions later.

Leaning her hip against the conference table, Shepard shifts her weight off her left leg, bites down on the sigh that almost manages to slip out. Once in the clear, she grouses, “Where the hell is Meyer? He’s the one that called this meeting.”

As it is, it’s three people in attendance and she’s the only one talking. She could’ve achieved the same results with a voice call from her quarters, where she could elevate her leg in peace and without witnesses. In the dark.

“Lab Two,” answers Elsawy, finally ripping her attention off the omni-screen and gracing Shepard with a second of eye contact. Maybe in another life she could appreciate the effort—Jesus, as if she hasn’t had her fill of lives already. “We’re close to a breakthrough on the initial output patterns. Sorry. He’s been feeding his data to me.”

“Right.” She blinks once, twice, in time with the flickering. It doesn’t help; it never does. “I’ll swing by later, then. Anything else he asked you to relay?” 

“Just that, Commander.” Elsawy is mumbling just enough that her voice has to compete with the drone of the air vents. The translator takes a second to filter out and amplify it. The result is less than perfect: “More salvage—” bzzrt—“bigger picture, you got it.” She narrows her eyes, and Shepard raises a brow. “Left leg or—” bzz!—“left hip?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Commander.”

“It’s nothing relevant,” she says pleasantly, forcing herself to stand up straight again. There’s a brief tremor shaking up her hamstrings; she waves a hand to distract from it. In the frenzy of the lights, the movement looks jerky, nervous. She soldiers on. “Old field injury. Unrelated. Anything can set it off.”

Funny, kind of, since it’s that very leg that ends in the most perfect, cooperative example of a foot she’s ever had the pleasure of treading on. It’s cloned; a replacement. Not the only one either. They should’ve just done away with the whole limb, but she hadn’t been consulted. Same with her trick shoulder. Not even Cerberus had managed to get that one back on the straight and narrow.

“I’d rather you bring it up with the doctor,” replies Elsawy. This is, apparently, what it takes for her to finally speak at a reasonable volume. “If we manage to fill even one of the data gaps…”

“I know,” she says. “I know, and I’m telling you, it’s unrelated.”

-> continue reading on AO3