#who knows who he's killed. could've been god one time. we'll never know

[ghost-pasta]

[Image ID start: a meme that says:

could kill god but thinks they can't: Danny.

couldn't kill god but thinks they can: Vlad.

knows they could kill god but wouldn't: Dani (with an I).

accidently killed god in a Wendy's parking lot at 3am: Cujo the ghost dog & Maddie the cat.

Second image reads: accidently killed god in a Wendy's parking lot at 3am: Dan Phantom/Dark Danny.

:End ID]

[itsgrimeytime]

Maneater (Part Three) || Rick Grimes (TWD)

Part One, Two, Three

Taglist: @fuseburner @beltzboys2015-blog @gabrielleisalanastan @starkstiless @strnqer

AVAILABLE ON AO3

Inspiration: Slow Burn by J. Maya

Summary: You and Rick Grimes had a backstory, one no one knew except you and him. It's one you refused to share, you never really wanted to get into it. All anyone needed to know was you hated the man. When you're in a rough spot, and you could use the shelter the question is... does he hate you?

TWS: Blood, gore, mentions of death, gun violence (just violence in general), a touch of abandonment, kind of like awkward affection???, alluding to sex (not it actually happening), swearing, grudges, and all things typical of TWD.

[[A/N: Actually kind of sad this one is ending. I might do an epilogue of just some fluff, we'll see. But thank you to all who were along the ride :))) Thanks for reading!!]]

"You're kidding," you spoke -doused in heavy disbelief, "-there's no way."

"I swear, every mornin'."

"In the guard tower?" You asked, not that you hadn't known, but just to be sure what you were saying was right.

"For the last time," Rick spoke through laughter, sipping on a beer, "-yeah."

"God," you paused -genuinely unsure of how to say what you wanted to, "-I mean, think of the back pain."

His laughter was even louder than before, and something in your chest filled with pride. You could do that.

It was hard, getting used to such close friendships -you hadn't been in one in years. You were honestly surprised your voice still worked after all those years solo, so to have this? This intimacy of sitting on someone's couch and rambling about the funniest things in the crappy world you lived it, it made you feel human again.

This was a routine thing, though, Rick had wanted to hear your stories. But working through a long list of trauma wasn't exactly easy, so every once in a while he'd tell a funny memory. It smoothed over the mood a bit, and helped you stay grounded -double whammy.

In the beginning, he'd even shared some memories of his own -vulnerable and open, so you could find it was a safe space. How he'd killed Shane, lost Lori when Judith was born, and the trail of death that seemed to follow him wherever he went.

You'd only listened that first day, not willing to encroach on his space -his words. The way he spoke them, it was like a weight off his chest. Like, in all these years, he hadn't told a soul.

But he told you.

You still weren't sure how to feel about it.

Because it was one thing you telling him, it was what he wanted -he wanted to know what he'd indirectly caused. What you'd gone through that he could have prevented with just one changed decision. But it was another when he told you his memories.

He wasn't doing it because you could've fixed them. Rick was doing it because he trusted you, cared about you, wanted you to feel safe-

You couldn't think about it, it only left a whirlpool in your mind -half telling you to run and hide, and the other half telling you that this was good. It was always what you had wanted. A place to belong, someone, anyone who cared.

And he was here, unflinchingly.

You knew he lost sleep, you knew he did. And yet, he'd still welcome you into his house when you needed it -sat in the living room until the early creaks of the morning.

You were a little conflicted.

"Everythin' okay?" Rick's voice was suddenly soft, the laughter that radiated the space a few spare moments before dissipating.

"Yeah," you sighed, rubbing your palms on your cheek to try and bring you back to the present, "-just thinking."

"That can't be good," he quipped, eyebrows raised and the little smile, he always got when he was teasing, spreading across his face.

You rolled your eyes, biting back your own smile, "You're an asshole, Grimes."

He was way too good at that, taking you down from edges -bringing you right back to your seat. It had surprised you at first, the ease he'd done it at, and it working. But the more you truly got to know Rick, the more it just made sense.

He had such a heavy sense of empathy, much too large for the way the world had treated him, and always seemed to be so vulnerable and open about his feelings. You couldn't count on one hand how many times he'd hugged Carl today. Seeing love so openly displayed, was odd. Not because it should be there, but because it was forgotten in this world. You could've sworn it was forgotten.

In a world of rotting corpses and survival, Rick Grimes found the time to love.

At that thought you opened your mouth, leaning your head back against the pillows and staring up at the white ceilings, "Did anyone ever think about me?"

The words were quiet, barely a whisper in the room but something in yourself told you that Rick has heard.

He leaned back, a bit softer as if it meant more, "I don't know about the others but..."

You traced the designs of the roof with your eyes, mind in a sort of fuzz -it was nice this time. Reminded you of fireplaces and couches and blankets, a warm feeling trickling along your arms -safety.

"I did," Rick spoke so quietly, you weren't sure you'd even heard it, "-it's somethin' I don't think I'll ever forget."

You questioned, "Why?"

He pursed his lips, seeming to try to think -eyes glazing across the roof in a sort of scattered flicker. Your eyes skimmed over his face, a few seconds wouldn't hurt.

The pull of his eyebrows was strong, lips still set in a purse -it was odd seeing him so relaxed. Along his jaw the salt and pepper beard was making its way back ever-so-lightly, you briefly wondered what it felt like. A few curls were making themselves known, tussled in a kind of way that still felt like they laid perfectly -like he was written in some sort of poem. You thought he might make a good subject if you were a writer-

"I think it's kinda," he started, letting out a long breath -like he was choosing his words carefully, "-two things. I always wondered if you were alive, and got to a point where I thought you weren't. It was like I was holding on to hope so I wouldn't have another life on my hands...? That make sense? When I... When I thought you were dead, you woulda been the first one."

You knew the importance of that, having lived as far as you had -you remembered the first person you killed. It was in self-defense, sure, but it didn't change the shake in your hands or the deep-seated guilt you could never imagine going away. That feeling would go with you to your grave-

"And I guess I wondered just what I had robbed you of?"

"You mean-" you interrupted.

Rick continued like he hadn't even heard you -far too focused on the thought, "If you would've fallen in love like Glenn and Maggie did. If I hadn't kicked you out so early, would you have found the right someone? And then, if you would've felt safe. Did I take that from you? The security of the group had been so natural, like breathin', to me. I always knew there was someone watching my back, always. And I just... I ripped it out of your hands."

You were silent, a wave of feelings creeping up your throat -the loneliness, the rejection, the wishes on falling stars. It had always been something you'd wanted -security, safety. Even as you joined ragtag groups, you'd had a sort of mistrust as if they'd leave you in the night. You'd even stashed away food, just in case they decided not to give you any.

But then, you thought of now.

All the support you had in Alexandria, you have regularly visited houses -always welcomed to any kind of supplies you needed. And although you started holed up and afraid, everyone took in at your pace. Never too fast to scare you off, and never too slow to have you think they'd leave.

And where you were now, staring up at the ceiling -vulnerable and open, the thing you were the most afraid of, but Rick was right there with you. Every crack in you, he showed his own.

"I think we're working on it," you finally said.

He asked, facing you -head still leaned back, "-Workin' on what?"

"The security," you hummed, light like the words you were saying weren't such a big step, "-the safety. I think we're working on it."

Rick didn't respond -the air so heavy a new kind of suffocating. Like you wished to shut away the vulnerability. Looking over at him, you watched as he seemed to endlessly stare -not there with you.

It was your turn.

"The love thing, though," you joked, tone teasing, "-I think that one might be a little far-fetched, sheriff."

He grinned, arguing his case, "Why? Maggie an' Glenn did it, didn't they?"

"Well, they're different," you relented, pointing out, "-I'm sure even if the apocalypse hadn't happened, they'd end up together. That's destiny shit."

"What, and you don't have destiny shit?"

"I-" you paused, "-I guess I never thought about it. It just seems... so impossible. I mean, find your true love in the zombie apocalypse? It's hard enough to find someone interested."

Rick seemed to think for a moment, "I'd know someone."

"What?" you turned to him -finding it fairly ridiculous that he knew someone so quickly, "-You cupid now too?

He stayed silent, eyes a little heavier on yours. You tried to read the oddly serious look on his face, blue eyes right on yours almost expectantly. Like he was-

"Oh," you realized, blinking a few times to test the sort of disbelief you found you were in. And somehow in your nerves, you let a laugh slip through your lips.

"Are you laughin' at me?" he spoke -playful, grin bright enough to warm up your soul, "-Really? Am I that bad an option?"

"Wait, wait," you laughed out, trying to stop his train of thought, -this was new, but not in the scary way, "-let me think about it."

"Thi-"

You shushed him, dramatically closing your eyes and tilting your head back to the ceiling. Trying to clear your mind and think about it.

Rick, romantically. There was some fear there, as with everything, but... you knew he loved with all his heart. You could see it so clearly with Judith and Carl, he was a man of love. And you knew that, but what if you could see that part of him yourself? See all the inner workings of Rick Grimes.

You knew it'd be special, he'd make you feel like you belong -hell, he already did that. But, maybe that was the point. You imagined these late-night talks, just slightly different. A tick to the right. Maybe you sat closer, maybe he held your hand or wrapped an arm around your shoulder, or maybe you wiped away his tears, and pulled him into a hug.

He was a wonderful man, you knew that. You'd always known that despite the years of hatred -you knew he was a good man. A good man who was given an impossible choice.

You opened your eyes.

"Got a verdict?" he asked, still playful, but there was something else there in the softness of his tone. He was hopeful. There was something in you that twisted at that, long ago put to rest, dormant but maybe just this once?

"I'm interested."

[poppy-metal]

Okay expanding on that scream au because it's in my heeeeeeead now

Eddie leaves your house with drained balls and your cute little panties in his back pocket. Has that pep in his step that only comes from a good fuck and you? Oh you were a good fuck. He didn't even mean to fuck you, only planned on checking your house security under the pretense of selling you weed, but you had the news on with a story about the latest body found in the mystery murder spree and you got all pouty and mentioned how you've been too scared to hang out alone at home (as if that wasn't something he and Steve have been banking on) and he'd made a joke about how orgasms are good stress relief but bad for surviving horror movies. God, he can't even remember who made the first move after that but soon you were choking on his cock and two hours later, he was finally able to pull away from your swollen cunt and head home.

Steve's the first person he calls after getting into the trailer, this time to discuss a very different kind of body count. "Stevie, buddy, pal, got some good news and some bad news," he says as soon as Steve picks up. Steve, the preppy little jock that Eddie never could've imagined had the same bloodlust that he does. Steve, who uses his parents' money to buy them replacement clothes and supplies. Steve, who Eddie think would enjoy a good taste of your wet pussy too.

Steve groans on the other end, "God, what is it now, Munson? Don't tell me we're rescheduling on tomorrow." Tomorrow, the date they'd planned on killing you because you were gonna be an easy target.

"That's the bad news, Harrington. We can't kill her."

"And why not?" Steve says, almost whines really.

Eddie smirks, pulls your panties out of his pocket and sniffs the still wet pink fabric. You'd gotten so fucking wet just from sucking his cock. "May have fucked her when I went over for a little reconnaissance."

"Christ, dude, come on."

"Listen, listen, I know. But we'll find someone else, I promise, and you'll understand what I'm talking about once you've fucked her too. See, that's the good news. She gets so fucking dumb with a cock in her, Harrington, and I know that you're gonna ruin her. Pussy like that is rare to come by in shitty towns like this."

Steve's quiet for a minute. You're one of the few girls he didn't fuck back in high school and he doesn't even remember any rumors about you from his teammates. But Eddie's got discerning tastes when it comes to who qualifies as good and Steve can't help but get interested if you're such a good fuck that Eddie doesn't want to kill you anymore. Can't help but get his hand in his jeans, cupping his cock as he says, "Alright, Munson, I'm listening. Tell me just how good she was."

Steve and Eddie do show up to your house the next night after all, weed in Eddie's hand and a 6 pack in Steve's as Eddie tells you that he "didn't want you to be scared, you know, so I figured I'd bring my good friend over to help protect you tonight. We can have some fun, yeah? Get your mind off it?" And you nod, bouncing on your feet as you welcome them in, blushing when Steve winks at you.

The TV is on mute later, when you're bouncing on Steve's fat cock while Eddie's stretching out your tight little ass, so you miss the news story about how they found another body in the park near your house. But it's fine, you wouldn't care anyway, not when the two boys fucking you silly right now have promised to keep you safe. Right?

oh my fucking god.

[neverinadream]

What It Would Be Like To Date....

Summary: General headcanons of what it would be like to date Jesse.

Pairing: Jesse x GN!Reader

Requested: Yes

Warnings: spoilers, friends to lovers, mentions of blood and violence, one nsfw line, mention of parental loss

Notes: i love that my first request is for jesse, i adore him and cried when they killed his character. that being said, i haven't done one of these before, so feedback is grateful and requests are open

like ellie, you're pretty skilled with a bow - you were just as good with a riffle as anyone else, but you're more comfortable with a bow - this led to maria giving you a job as a patrolman after you and your younger brother, theo, arrived in jackson two years prior to the events of part ii. you were partnered up with jesse for your first few patrols, him being impressed by how quickly you learnt the ins and outs of the different routes, but you weren't partnered up with him again for a few more months after that.

not until he and dina had decided to call it quits. again.

you had enjoyed doing the routes with ellie, a couple with dina and few others with tommy and joel, but you much preferred to do them with jesse. you weren't much of a people person but for him, you were willing to make an exception; you just didn't know why. not yet, at least.

over the many months, you gradually opened up to jesse about the group you and your younger brother were living with before you both arrived in jackson. you told him about the group being attacked by a herd of infected and about how you didn't know if there was any other survivors. he listened to every word you had to say and never once interrupted you.

the simple act made you feel seen for the first time in a very long time.

as time moved along, you became someone who jesse could vent to each time he and dina took a break. by now, you had become aware of your feelings for jesse but you ignored the urge to ever act on them because you knew him and dina would always get back together.

until they didn't.

jesse was the first to admit his feelings, blurting it out after you both had a run in with a bunch of clickers. "that was god damn sexy," he had admitted to you, after you had saved him. firing an arrow straight through a clicker's head. he wiped the sweat from his brow, a look in his eyes you couldn't necessarily read but knew there was more he wanted to say. "i have never been more turned on right now-" his hand covered his mouth, when he had realised what he had said. "i didn't mean it like that," he rushed to correct himself, "i just meant...what i meant was...i-" you cut him off with a kiss.

your first kiss was rushed and messy and probably could've been executed a lot better, but you had been dying to kiss jesse for months now and you had to act before you lost the adrenaline and courage pumping through your veins.

you didn't talk about the kiss until you got back to jackson, both you deciding to take it slow. jesse had just ended things with dina for good and neither wanted the folks of jackson talking about the ins and outs of your private lives.

theo was the happiest about your blossoming relationship with jesse. he was already looking up to him like jesse was his own brother, begging him to teach him how to fire a gun or to ride a horse, but jesse would give him the same answer, "we'll have to see what your sister says about it." your younger brother liked him a lot and it made you happy to see him smiling again.

a part of you was scared for dina's reaction, she had become somewhat of a friend to you and since jesse was her ex-boyfriend, you knew it might disrupt whatever level of friendship it was that you had with her. surprisingly though, she was happy about it. she had suspected that jesse might have harboured some feelings for you and she was just relieved to see he was no longer hiding them.

dina had even confided in you about her new feelings for ellie, often asking you if she should just go for it.

jesse's parents were fond of you but it took some time for them to warm up to the idea of you being in a relationship with jesse. they may have liked dina, but their relationship was rocky, and they just didn't want to see their son be heartbroken over another person.

jesse learned early on, way before you were dating, that you were a story teller; you had no space to carry books, they took up too much space - space that would be needed for real supplies when out on the road - so you took to making up stories on the spot. after that, jesse was always on the look out for books, no matter how big or small. if he saw a book, he was scooping it into his bag and bringing it back with him. you insisted he didn't need to but he continued to do so.

you love his voice, it wasn't uncommon for you to spend the evening just listening to him to talking. it didn't matter what he was talking about, it could be about his day or some silly anecdote, you were just satisfied to hear him talking. and, of course, jesse knew just how much you liked his voice, often using it to his own advantage.

wearing his clothes is a given, especially when you weren't on patrol together. a hoody, a shirt, even one of his jackets, just anything to have a little bit of him close to you.

jesse carried a sized down, blunt arrow head, tucked away into his backpack.

the start of your relationship was perfect. a little too perfect.

you had been out on patrol with tommy and joel when they came across abby, unsuspecting of the horror that was to come. unlike tommy, you hadn't been knocked unconscious and was forced to witness abby's brutal torture and killing of joel, but you wished you had. the whole ordeal had left you with scars, both permanent - one of them had slashed your arm and your left cheek with their pocket knife - and psychologically.

you hated yourself for weeks, avoiding everyone - especially ellie. jesse repeatedly told you that none of it was your fault, but guilt still remained and would remain until joel's death had been avenged.

jesse was their to protect you from the nightmares, holding you until you had stopped shaking and crying. you were so strong around everyone else, making them believe that you were fine, but jesse got to see your vulnerable side.

he also tried to keep your confidence up whenever he saw you looking at your facial scar in the mirror. he'd tell you it made you look even more badass, like you were some superhero. you were grateful for it, especially when you were beginning to notice the people in jackson averting their eyes when you walked by.

of course, you snuck out of jackson with jesse, leaving your brother in care of jesse's parents. in seattle you found the sized down arrow head in jesse's backpack, your thumb smoothing over the blunt edges as you smiled for the first time since joel's death. when you asked him about it, he told you that he kept it close to him because it reminded him of you.

he also admitted to making it himself, you laughing when recalled nearly cutting off his hands. you knew he was just being dramatic about it to make you laugh.

you were actually one of the first to recognise dina's symptoms. you remembered bits and pieces from when your own mother was pregnant, but you mostly remember there being a woman in your old group that had been pregnant and had given birth during your time together.

your calmness to the whole situation had both surprised and comforted jesse. dina too.

for the sake of my own feelings we're going to pretend that abby didn't brutally and shockingly murder jesse and he just got a flesh wound or something equivalent to that

after the events of seattle and jesse finding out that dina was pregnant, he thought you would leave him, but you'd been taking care of theo since your parents were infected, so jesse having a baby with his ex-girlfriend was no worry at all for you.

in fact, jj was the cutest baby you had seen and you adored to see jesse and jj together. fatherhood had come naturally to him.

you and jesse did less frequent patrols after seattle and lived your lives as close as possible to dina and ellie as you could.

jesse has finally taught your brother to ride a horse and you have taught both of them how to use a bow, it was a lot quieter when it came to hunting animals such as a deer.

when dina and jj leave the farm, after ellie goes looking for abby again, you, jesse and your younger brother take the two of them in, no questions asked.

i feel like i went a little overboard with this but i hope it is what you wanted. again, i have never done these headcanon type things before

[koumeowkami]

🪐 no celestial ; kanallen

— chapter four

"Kanata was a poor little angel that heaven couldn't help. He'd always been a tough one, not trusting anyone but his little brother Nayuta, the only person that ever made him feel love. Growing up by themselves, he did everything in his power to protect his sick brother, things that dirtied his holy hands. "It's for a good cause though", he thought. But it wasn't enough, and Nayuta died soon after.

Kanata's soul was completely spent. He became unable to feel love, and adding to his dirty dealings that soon were found out, he got cast out of heaven. Fallen on Earth with his wings blackened, he felt so lost and empty he thought he could've just died.

But a random encounter with a very annoying, persistent, stupid redhead human boy would've made him discover love again."

2389 words

genre: supernatural, hurt/comfort, angst

warnings: none

previous ✧ next

"...And who the fuck are these people now?"

Kanata's head was spinning. Having to deal with that Suzaku bastard was already plenty enough, he definitely didn't need other nosy people to bother the fuck out of him. He wondered if all humans were like that, unable to mind their own business; at least now he knew why he hated them so much.

"Yeah, um..." the guy stuttered again, probably because Kanata was looking at him as if he was ready to kill, "they're my roommates. I didn't know they were there either, to be honest..."

"I'm sorry, Allen! We were worried about you..." the pink-haired one spoke, joining their hands together, "It looked like you constantly had something on your mind and it was annoying to see" the mushroom-head continued, eyeing Kanata weirdly. He didn't know why and it was getting on his nerves.

"So... do you want to take this stray kitten home? Honestly, I don't want him to get my house dirty."

So he was of those filthy rich guys, huh.

Although he was used to being treated like that, it had always made Kanata's blood boil. Those people represented everything he hated the most: they ruined his and Nayuta's life, never helped them when they needed it despite having all the means to do that; they just watched the twins suffer and pretended they didn't exist. Of fucking course everyone would've been like that on Earth, too. He didn't even know why he was expecting something to begin with.

"Are you pickin' a fight with me!?" he snarled. If that guy thought Kanata was scared of him, he was so damn wrong. He started inching towards him.

"Oh, do you maybe prefer being called a rat?" Mushroom-head provoked him, "Sorry, but I don't take part in such vulgarities. You better do that with people of your kind". He smiled. God, he really wanted to beat the shit out of him.

"HAH!?"

"Hajun, stop being an asshole, will you?" Pink Hair intervened, then turned to Suzaku, "Allen, did you guys meet here?"

"Uh... yeah, a week ago" he scratched the back of his neck, "he has no other place to go, so I was trying to help him. I can feel he's not a bad guy... so guys, please."

The redhead looked at his friends with big puppy eyes, begging them. Kanata couldn't stand that look. He just hated being pitied like that, but something deep inside of him didn't want to stop him anymore. He could've done anything to drive that annoying little bastard away. He could've shown his black wings, could've proven he was an angel in order to scare him, but would've that been enough? Fighting again and again would probably only be a waste of time and energy. But was it really the only reason he was about to admit defeat? Kanata honestly didn't know anymore; his thoughts just turned into a mess whenever he was around that kid. The flames of his soul were desperately trying to burn the ice around Kanata's heart.

"...Are you gonna stop botherin' me if I agree to this?" he started, making Suzaku turn around, "Will you finally leave me alone? I'm so sick of you stickin' to me like that."

"Sure! I told you, the apartment is big" he smiled, "you won't be bothered. We'll make one step at a time."

"Stop actin' like we're gonna become besties or somethin' like that, it makes me gag" Kanata looked away. He feared that if the redhead kept shining just a bit more, he would've turned him into dust. So annoying.

"It seems we agree on something, at least" Mushroom-head spoke again. "If Allen is so desperate about taking the stray kitten home, then I guess I can't say no?" he huffed, "However, I can kick him out whenever I want to if he messes up. It's still my house, after all."

"Come on, Hajun... he doesn't look like the kind of guy who causes problems" Pink Hair said, turning their gaze on Kanata, "Allen is naive, but not enough to let weird people into his own house!"

"Hey, stop treating me like a kid!" Suzaku pouted, again. He looked so damn punchable. "Then that settles it! Thank you guys, I love you!" he hugged the other two so strongly they were gasping for air, then went towards Kanata.

"Don't even think of huggin' me! Who do you think you are!?" Kanata was panicking. He hadn't been close to another being in ages and got so unused to it he didn't know how he was supposed to take it anymore. Fine by him, human interactions never really mattered to him as long as they weren't with his brother, but this somehow got him more nervous than it should have.

"Ah, sorry... I promised not to bother you, didn't I?" the redhead smiled shyly, "I'm pretty sure someday I'll be able to hug you, though!"

"Yeah yeah, sure. Your friends are leavin' us behind, by the way." he pointed towards the park's entrance and started running in that same direction. He could hear a muffled "Oi, wait for me! " from behind him but he didn't look back.

Why the fuck was he even blushing for?

— ☾ —

Kanata couldn't believe his eyes. That apartment was huge, in a massive skyscraper. He had never seen something like that before, being used to the small ruined buildings of the slums back in the Celestial Kingdom; many people there, including the twins, didn't even have a home in the first place. He had missed that warmth.

"If only Nayuta could feel this, too..." he thought. He felt horrible knowing he couldn't share it with his brother, guilty that he had originally planned to rot somewhere in the streets to reach him, since he had nothing to lose anymore. He was still alone, after all; living in the same space of those humans didn't mean anything to him.

"I'm sorry, Nayuta..." he muttered, his voice so quiet no one even heard him. Then, a huge smile in front of him pulled him out of his thoughts.

"We're finally here! Make yourself at home, yeah?"

Mushroom-head interrupted him, "Before making himself at home, I'd like him to take a shower. He stinks" he said while walking to what seemed to be the kitchen, "I'll make dinner in the meantime."

"I don't have other clothes, though..." Kanata said in a small voice. He didn't like how things were turning, as he already knew that the answer would've been -

"Oh, no worries about it! Allen is gonna lend you some!" Pink Hair cheerfully replied with a smile.

"Why me!?"

"Why him!?"

The redhead and Kanata screamed at the same time, the former astounded and the latter clearly pissed. Yeah, things were definitely turning worse than he expected.

"You dummy, Hajun's clothes would be too big on him so you're the only option left." they turned to Suzaku, then glanced at the poor boy, "That is, if he doesn't want to wear some frilly dresses~? He'd be so cute in them, like a little doll-"

"No fucking way!" Kanata was so embarrassed he thought his cheeks were about to explode from how much they were hot. Why the fuck did they enjoy playing with him so much?

"Then it's decided! The bathroom is over there" Pink Hair pointed to a door in the corridor, "See you later~" they said before disappearing in their room.

Suzaku then turned to Kanata, a bit embarrassed himself, "Well, then... I'm gonna bring you some clothes later" he smiled softly. He was blushing a tiny bit, Kanata noticed it immediately. He suddenly got that weird feeling in his chest, the same one he had after meeting the redhead for the first time. And once again, he did his best to ignore it.

"Yeah, um... thanks" he said looking at the floor, "By the way, if you even dare to peep in while I'm showerin', I'll kill you" he went back to his intimidating gaze.

"Whoa, uh... believe me I won't!" the redhead gulped before dashing towards his room. Kanata didn't know if it was because he successfully got scared or he was simply embarrassed. Maybe both.

— ☾ —

"Hey, you don't look bad dressed like that!"

Kanata appeared in the kitchen wearing some black sweatpants and a grey hoodie. Those would look just right on Suzaku, but that bastard was at least 15 centimeters taller than him; this resulted into him looking tiny as hell and he hated it.

"Yeah, you look cute! I mean, my clothes still look a bit big on you but-"

"Stop lookin' at me! I ain't cute at all!" he screeched, stomping towards the nearest chair and sitting. That was the reason why he hated being small. He definitely was not cute, and he felt like dying even more when the redhead said it. For the second fucking time, even.

"Exactly. Now can you all sit, please? Let's have dinner before it gets cold." Mushroom-head sat at the table, showing some food Kanata had never seen before. Not that he used to eat a lot when he was in Heaven, but he had no idea how human food was supposed to taste or look like.

"...The hell is this?" he questioned, while he let the food sit on his tongue, "Never seen this kinda stuff before."

"Please don't talk while you're eating, it's gross" the other guy sighed, "It's samgyeopsal, a Korean dish. I'm Korean, so I cook these traditional dishes often."

"Oh, I just realized I didn't introduce you guys to each other!" the redhead suddenly raised his head from the plate, "Kanata, these are Hajun and Anne", he pointed first towards Mushroom-head, then towards Pink Hair.

Kanata didn't reply. He could care less about their names. Hell, he didn't even bother to call Suzaku by his actual name. They weren't close and surely will never be, so that didn't matter, right?

"Well, Kanata doesn't seem to be the talkative type, does he?" Anne looked at him a little concerned, "He must be really tired. Honestly, I can't wait to go to sleep, too~"

"Yeah, we should hurry up. I'm also kinda sleepy..." Suzaku yawned, rubbing his eyes.

"Uh... where am I supposed to sleep, anyway?" Kanata intervened, at this point craving to be finally left alone and have some time for himself.

The redhead nervously laughed, "Ah... well, about that..."

"You told me I got to have personal space! Do you call sharing a room «to have personal space»!?"

Kanata wasn't mad. He was absolutely fuming, mentally regretting ever saying yes to that dumbass. This was probably one of the most disastrous things that could've happened to him: he already couldn't manage to sleep alone anymore, but having a stranger in the same bed as him sounded even worse. He couldn't believe how the redhead had accepted this thing right away, as if it were normal; he really was way too naive and it irritated him so damn much.

"I'm sorry, okay! I worded it a bit wrong." Suzaku took a step back from him, who looked like he was gonna jump on him at any second. "The apartment is big and you can go wander anywhere you want to, but we only have three bedrooms! And I'm definitely not letting you sleep on the couch." he concluded, looking dead serious for once.

Honestly, Kanata didn't mind sleeping anywhere, as long as he had at least a roof on top of his head. But he got to the conclusion that arguing about this wouldn't have led nowhere, since that guy didn't seem to budge.

"So here's what we're gonna do! I got my sleeping bag here" he proudly showed that weird puffy bag to Kanata, "I'm gonna sleep on the floor with this, while you can use my bed. Sounds good?"

He really couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was he really that determined to stay in his room and still give him some space? To a random kid met in the park, who could've seemed suspicious in any possible way?

What the hell was wrong with this dude.

"Alright..." that was all he could say, a bit taken aback but mostly too tired to think about anything else to say. So he swiftly got on the soft bed covered in red sheets and turned on the opposite side, facing the door. He heard a faint "Good night" but didn't reply. The room fell silent.

He knew he wouldn't have slept as always, but at least he finally got to close his eyes for a while. There was the tiniest bit of comfort in that.

And then, it came back.

The image of his dear brother passing away with a smile on his face, cursing him forever, making him remember that the only thing he ever loved in this shitty world disappeared. The voices would tell him it was his fault. It was his fault he wasn't a good boy and their mommy didn't love them. It was his fault he wasn't a good brother, who couldn't even protect his precious little treasure. It was his fault he was left alone and deserved it.

He didn't even realize he ended up crying in his sleep, calling Nayuta's name.

"Nayuta... miss you..."

Allen was almost falling asleep when he heard some sniffling from over the bed. Slowly and cautiously, he got up and got closer to Kanata, who was talking in his sleep. He couldn't quite register what he was saying, though.

"He must be having a nightmare..." he thought, noticing the kid was shivering while slightly holding out his hand, as if he was trying to reach out to someone. Before he could even process what he wanted to do, he took his hand, but luckily Kanata didn't wake up. Instead, he gradually stopped crying, until he turned into quiet snores.

Allen smiled, hidden by the darkness of his room. He slightly got up from the bed, but the boy's grip on his hand was so strong he just couldn't go anywhere without waking him up. So he just stayed there, laying down a bit far from Kanata not to bother him.

"How am I gonna explain this to him tomorrow?" he asked himself, falling asleep.

[chill-pills-yandere-haven]

The Little Prince

An: Thank you to @187-mg for the picture and the inspiration for this one shot! All hail Nagisa! But anyway, this one is a bit dark and I got to play with the childhood friends tripe for the first time! And this drabble was a little inspired by the story of Cain and Abel if your willing to look up the details. Enjoy!

Tw: Yanderes, murder, (my search history looks like a really stupid murderer's lol, couldn't find any pictures of people being repeatedly bashed with a rock tho so may be a little inaccurate 😭), description of murder, not that explicit but not light either, Nagisa needs help, Nagisa improvs murder, don't worry, we're not killing any of the boys today, just a nameless chara

Once upon a time, there was a boy.

He was taken in and treated like a prince.

This little prince had everything he could've ever wanted, yet not a friend in the world.

One night, this little prince wanted to go outside his lonely castle. He wanted to meet other kids like him. After all, he had always been such a curious child.

On his trip to the outside world, he met someone.

Another child who, despite the little prince being a complete outsider, made the little prince feel like he truly belonged.

They had a wonderful time together. And the prince realized that that was the first time he had ever felt… human. 

He found that he loved the feeling. That he loved spending time with his new friend.

Alas, he knew he'd have to leave his new friend. He didn't want to risk getting them in trouble. So he left. But before he left, he left them with a promise.

"We'll meet again someday."

And he never saw his friend again.

Nagisa was on his usual trip to the library. Ibara had gotten him into reading and brought him books from time to time, but he still enjoyed picking a couple out for himself.

He was looking through the shelves of one of his favourite genres when he noticed someone else looking through the shelves.

They looked at the books carefully but didn't scrutinize them nearly as much as Nagisa had them.

Something about them felt… familiar.

Their hair, their pretty eyes, and their face were all reminiscent of something…

No, that would be impossible.

They'd have had to have gone somewhere else by now. Nagisa assumed they had gone out of the country.

And why would they be in the same library as him? At this single moment? Fate?

He looked at them more, trying to prove that it wasn't you. But he couldn't deny it.

It was you.

The one who set his heart ablaze, who let him know how it felt to live.

He had looked for you since forever. But he hadn't even gotten your name during the one night he finally felt alive.

"Excuse me? Are you alright?" 

That was your voice.

It was a lot more mature than when he last heard it, but that only contributed to its beauty.

Nagisa had spent his whole life trying to chase after you.

Now here you were.

And he had to admit, you blossomed into a true beauty.

"Oh, I'm perfectly fine. But… I think I recognize you. What's your name?" Nagisa asked, feigning curiosity and hiding his excitement.

"Yeah, I was thinking the same. I think I know you from somewhere," you replied and told Nagisa your name.

So that was your name?

It was quite beautiful to him. In his eyes, it perfectly suited you.

And even better, you still remembered him!

Yes, you were a bit forgetful, but he'd jog your memory. You were everything to him. The life you gave him was a feeling he had been trying to revive ever since that day he left you. He'd do anything for you.

He didn't want to come off as too zealous though. Technically, this was your first meeting with Nagisa since you forgot your first meeting with him. He made light conversation and gave his name as well.

Yet he almost couldn't help himself. You were his saviour. You showed him what to live for. You were his god. Ever so sweet and kind.

Actually, everything about you was god-like. The way you walked. The tone of voice you used. The way you smiled at certain books. Nagisa had never wanted to be a big stitched-up stack of paper so badly. Even the way you looked at things was beautiful to him. 

Juicy lips with just the right amount of plumpness to them. Nagisa could feel his face heat up as he took in the smallest of details about you. And wow, your eyes were pretty.

But then, those lips were on another's.

What?

What the hell just happened?

"Hey, you done now honey bun?" The piece of scum that had the nerve to kiss you said to you. You even held them close! 

How?

Why?

Nagisa's brain was going haywire at the implications of this.

Such scum merely existing in the presence of his god, his saviour, his love. It disgusted him.

He had to get rid of it.

Cleanse you of such filth.

Maybe then, he could bask in your light.

He waited just a bit. He could be patient, he waited for you for so many years before. 

He kept the filth in his sights and made sure no one could see them and Nagisa. Ibara could clean up any messes after. He had a bit of a hold on the police authority so he could force the case to go cold if he had to. After all, Ibara had done some immoral things himself. As he said though, it was all fair in the name of love.

Luckily, you left for the bathroom. 

Nagisa pulled the piece of scum aside. 

Nagisa made up a convincing story about him needing to talk with that waste of space because he was one of your exes and needed to tell them something. He used this opportunity to ask regular questions like what they were out doing. 

Apparently, the two of you were going around the city together all on foot and you were planning on going to a cafe next. A little casual and strange for Nagisa's tastes, but if you wanted to, he'd go on any kind of date with you.

He pulled them into the alleyway where the library's big garbage bin was. Nagisa could steal their phone after and tell you that they went ahead to the cafe. Then, dump everything in the garbage and tell Ibara to be ready for a cover-up. Nagisa could escape through the other side of the alleyway.

Ibara had promised him that he would if Nagisa ever had something like this happen to him.

The body may not even be found for days as well. You'd probably think they left or something.

"So, what do you need to tell me? Something like they cheated on you?" They asked. As though you, Nagisa's god, would ever do such a thing. But even if you did, you'd have a good reason.

He was starting to tire of hearing this scum waste air.

He grabbed a rock and bashed their skull in. 

One hit and they were on their knees. It was pathetic, they flailed and yelled.

"Fucking god, man, look, if you want them, you can have them! I don't give a shit about them!" They yelled.

They didn't give a shit about you?

Nagisa felt his blood boil. They had everything he ever wanted, yet he didn't give a shit about it?! 

Maybe they did need to be shut up.

Nagisa banged the rock into their throat, hoping he could completely crush it. It caved in awkwardly and he could see blood pooling.

Everything was so loud, he almost couldn't take it.

Again.

Again.

More.

He needed more.

More blood.

He needed to eradicate this piece of scum from the earth.

So they could never touch his god ever again.

And so, he kept on going. 

They were long dead, but something in Nagisa just had him beating them until they were a mess of guts and blood and bone and ick. Until they were completely unidentifiable.

They looked more like a chunky splatter of meat than a person now. How had he done this?

It was all too much. 

The musk of sweat and blood and death in the air that somehow carried a certain sweetness to it. Everything seemed silent now, as Nagisa stood, the rock still in hand. Even the feeling of his clothes on his skin disturbed him.

His heart raced.

He had just ended another human's life.

But he did it for you.

So it was all okay, wasn't it?

This was the culmination of his love. 

[lucienne-thee-librarian]

Rose Walker and John Dee: Narrative Foils

Okay this has been percolating in my brain for awhile and I have to shout about it. So. These two characters...Rose and John Dee. Couldn't seem more different on the surface, right? One's a young American black woman, vs older British-raised white guy who's lived all over the world, one painted as a major villain, the other a main protagonist of multiple episodes of the first season. But if you look beyond that, I think these two are, deliberately or not, perfect parallels to each other for their similarities as much as their differences.

First: let's list the similarities:

Difficult childhoods. John Dee's father was...literally absent and that is almost certainly a good thing. But his mother kept moving around to survive, changing her identity. She may have done what she felt she had to do but as a result John was left with no sense of stability and a Very Big Thing about people lying because he feels his mother has lied to him all his life. Rose, conversely, had a father...part of the time. But just by the fearful way Miranda Walker talked about her husband in one scene, trying to prevent Rose from confronting him over taking Jed (but not Rose...which, SERIOUSLY who does that, this man was not a good father, I like how much this one little scene implies) away with him...you get the distinct impression she lived in fear of her soon-to-be-ex-husband's anger. So Rose had a father who was...not good and lost her brother years ago and the pair disappeared before she and her mother could find out what happened. When the show starts her mother is dead too, much like Ethel Cripps died when she went to see him. So both Rose and John had childhoods centered around absent or unreliable fathers and the traumatic loss of their mothers.

Both were given access to great power over the world of dreams, critically: when they were infants and could not possibly know, much less agree to what they were inheriting. John Dee ended up in that hospital in the first place for misusing the ruby that Ethel stole from Roderick Burgess. Rose Walker was literally born a vortex due to inheriting it from her great-grandmother thanks to Desire's interference.

Both end up being chased down by Dream.

Now, the two end up in completely opposite places. But why? What's the difference?

When John Dee gets the ruby, immediately he begins killing his way out and across the country until he reaches the diner. On some level, he wants freedom and that's understandable after a lifetime of being locked up. But he clearly is very skilled at using the ruby which he even modified, and his first and immediate act upon getting the ruby back was to kill every single guard in his way. He didn't try to find another option, he immediately defaulted to the most violent way out. He almost killed Rosemary, though in the end he decided against it, but only because she helped him and didn't lie.

And then when he got to the diner, he spent an entire day and night toying with a bunch of random people until he got bored and let them kill each other.

Unquestionably some part of John was influenced by the ruby, the more the closer it was to him. We don't know exactly how much, we'll probably never know. But it is...alarming, to say the least, how he immediately and repeatedly begins to act not just after having it awhile, but after two seconds of getting it back.

John has traveled and seen the world long before he got locked up. But despite all the opportunities for education and experience he could've had, his worldview has no room for any shades of grey. To him, all lies are equally bad as the lies his mother told him, and all equally as bad as each other. It reminds me a lot of the evangelical Christian idea of "sin-levelling" where all sins are equally reprehensible in God's eyes so nobody is worse than the other - but also, no one better. If you have a "sinful" thought or make one mistake, you're just as worthy of damnation as the worst, most violent people.

Now leaving aside how that's actually treated in these churches in practice (which. LOL all sins are equal. Sure they are) that's obviously a little...fucked? The idea that actually, thinking hateful thoughts is as bad as murder, is as bad as stealing is as bad as...lust?? Gossip? Is both failig to recognize serious harms, and the difference between that and much more minor things one can do to others, or between all that and straight up thoughtcrime. It creates an inflated sense of harm for things that don't really deserve to be treated or even thought of in the same boat with atrocities and violence.

John Dee is if someone took a look at that sort of moral thinking and went "cool system you got there; what if I hijacked it and made it all about lying?"

His worldview is strictly black and white, no room for human error or understanding past a certain point. To him, if you tell a lie, no matter your intentions or the effect of your actions, it's all the same.

Meanwhile Rose has been used without her knowing it, by both Desire and in a way, Dream himself. He knows what her fate must be but for a mixture of motives, mainly mercy but also the knowledge that she could help him find the Corinthian, he spares her.

And his doing so and not telling her her ultimate fate, was the entire reason the Corinthian was able to slip in and find her in the first place. He shows up with Jed, after Rose has tried and failed to get the foster care system to actually let her make contact with her brother or do more than the bare minimum to investigate his well-being. So honestly, no wonder she trusted him at first! He saved her brother! Her brother seems to like him so he must be fine!

Rose has spent this entire season, her entire life, at the mercy of others, trying to carve out her own destiny. But she never uses her powers to deliberately hurt others- any harm she causes is either by complete accident or in attempts meant to defend her own life or her brother.

When she was a child she had no power to save Jed; for some reason we're not told the court sided with her father and allowed Jed to be taken separately, and then the man effectively custodially kidnapped his own son before dying himself and Jed was lost to the system of another state. Rose loses her mother later to some illness, and her friend Judy to John Dee's megalomania. And when she's finally an adult, she tries to find Jed but is flatly denied not only a chance at custody but even to know where he is - at least at first. And this whole time, the vortex she carried in her blood has been hanging over her head as a silent ticking time bomb. Her days are numbered, she will soon, eventually, become a living weapon to blend all the minds of all the dreamers of that world and eventually, the whole universe together into one cancerous magical sea of madness - and the only way to prevent this, we think, is for Dream to kill her. Her fate was sealed the moment she was born and the moment Dream was freed and the vortex awoken. All this was set in motion via Desire, someone much older and infinitely more powerful than herself.

So it would be more than understandable for someone in her situation to snap a little upon learning the truth. Honestly it's kind of amazing to me that she believed Dream when he finally did tell her everything, given he'd put off doing this until the very last minute because of his own reluctance to kill her.

And yet, when Rose finally learns the truth and her fate, she ultimately offers to take the fall, freely. She sees what the activated vortex does to the minds of everyone around her - first revealing everyone's most secret fears and fantasies and then pulling them into the whirlpool of her own power. And she refuses to let that happen. She values her own life in a way most of us would, in a totally understandable and sympathetic way. But unlike John Dee, she also values other people, even when they disappoint her. Hal blatantly tells her he doesn't care about the place they all live in half as much as the chance for success, but she still cares for him. The world is full of people, some of whom have hurt her or hindered her quest to find Jed but she doesn't seek revenge.

John sees the failures of humanity and its dark side and decides that those sins are worth condemnation through the power of his ruby, and assumes he is a worthy judge. Rose hears she could destroy the world and decides that no, the world is worth saving even if that means she has to die, much as she doesn't want or deserve to.

John Dee is, without even realizing it himself, a perfect mirror himself of the potential selfishness and cruelty humans can inflict on each other in the name of "I'm just all about honesty" "knowing what's best for you better than you do" and "fuck you, got mine". Rose is a mirror of humanity at its best - someone with dignity and a sense of morals who doesn't appreciate being lied to or used, and not a doormat - her first instinct is to fight for her life and her brother's - and she's also selfless and caring even for people she doesn't know, even for people who Dee would've argued weren't even worth saving.

[fullstcp]

"Endless Summer Vacation" by Miley Cyrus Sentence Starters

FLOWERS

"We were good, we were gold."

"We were right 'til we weren't."

"Built a home and watched it burn."

"I didn't wanna leave you."

"I didn't wanna lie."

"I can buy myself flowers."

"I can take myself dancing. And I can hold my own hand."

"I can love me better than you can."

"No remorse, no regret."

"I forgive every word you said."

JADED

"I don't wanna call and talk too long."

"I know it was wrong, but never said I was sorry."

"Now I've had time to think it over."

"Isn't it a shame that it ended like that?"

"We went to Hell, but we never came back."

"I'm sorry that you're jaded."

"I could've taken you places."

"You're lonely now and I hate it."

"You're not even willing to look at your part."

"Don't know when to stop, so you take it too far."

"It's a fucking shame that it ended like that."

"You broke your own heart, but you'd never say that."

"I won't lie, it won't be easy."

ROSE COLORED LENSES

"Sunrise got us up early."

"Never wanna leave this room."

"We could stay like this forever."

"Let's just play pretend."

"Pretend we'll never end."

"Make it last 'til we die."

"My baby got looks that kill."

"Let's stay like this forever."

"Let's just keep pretending."

USED TO BE YOUNG

"The truth is bulletproof, there's no fooling you."

"I don't dress the same."

"Me and who you say I was yesterday have gone our separate ways."

"Left my living fast somewhere in the past cause that's for chasing cars."

"Turns out open bars lead to broken hearts and going way too far."

"I know I used to be crazy."

"I know I used to be fun."

"You tell me time has done changed me, that's fine, I've had a good run."

"That's cause I used to be young."

"Turns out crowded rooms empty as soon as there's somewhere else to go."

"Messed up, but, God, was it fun."

"Those wasted nights are not wasted. I remember every one."

THOUSAND MILES

"You think I'm crazy, you might be right."

"When he/she/they smile(s), I don't care about the past."

"I told myself I closed that door, but I'm right back here again."

"I know half of what I'm saying don't make no sense."

"Don't ask me where I've been."

"I'm not always right, but still, I ain't got time for what went wrong."

"Where I end up, I don't really care."

"I was talking to you before I realized it's madness."

YOU

"I got some baggage."

"Let's do some damage."

"I want that late-night sweet magic, that forever-lasting love. But only if it's with you."

"Let's crash a wedding tonight."

"I'm kinda crazy 'cause that's how you made me."

"I don't need Jesus, 'cause baby, you saved me, I'm done."

"Only with you."

HANDSTAND

"We danced until there was nothing left."

"You're questioning the science, 'cause you don't understand."

"I wish I could crawl inside your heart."

"I wish I could know that it's forever."

RIVER

"I got a new dress just to meet you downtown."

"Heart beats so loud that it's drowning me out."

"You're just like a river."

"I can't stop from thinking lately."

"You could be the one, have the honor of my babies."

"Was a desert before I met you, I was in a drought."

"I feel you everywhere."

VIOLET CHEMISTRY

"Tonight, we'll just be wrong."

"Ain't done this in so long."

"Stay awhile with me."

"Stay awhile, put your arms around me."

"Can I bum a cigarette?"

"There's something between us that's too major to ignore."

"May not be eternal but nocturnal, nothing more."

MUDDY FEET

"I don't know who the hell you think you're messing with."

"Get the fuck out of my house with that shit."

"You smell like perfume that I didn't purchase."

"Now I know why you've been closing the curtains."

"I'm about to do something about it."

"Always questioning my questioning."

"Get the fuck out of my head with that shit."

"Get the fuck out of my bed with that shit."

"Worthy arrives when the other door closes."

WILDCARD

"Do you wanna play house? I could be your wife/husband."

"Maybe I could stay and not break your heart."

"But don't forget, baby, I'm a wildcard."

"I love when you hold me."

"But loving you is never enough."

"Don't wait for me, cause forever may never come."

"I want all in. I want all or nothing."

ISLAND

"I'm still wishing for the love that I don't have."

"I won't lie, it sure gets lonely here at night."

"No one here needs anything from me, and it's kind of nice."

"I hear your voice like a song on the radio."

WONDER WOMAN

"She's a wonder woman."

"She knows what she likes."

"She's a million moments. Lived a thousand lives."

"She makes sure that no one's around to see her fall apart."

"She's a won't-stop woman."

"All her pain is polished. All her tears are planned."

[moonshine999]

The Crows as Taylor Swift albums (pt.2)

because I’m awake, slowly losing sanity, and have nothing better to do <3

Nina Zenik : Lover

💋 “I know that I'm a handful, baby, uh // I know I never think before I jump” - ME! 

💋 “I'm so sick of running as fast as I can // Wondering if I'd get there quicker // If I was a man” - The Man 

💋”Hey, it's all me, in my head // I'm the one who burned us down // But it's not what I meant // I'm sorry that I hurt you” - Afterglow

💋 “Tell me that you're still mine // Tell me that we'll be just fine //Even when I lose my mind” - Afterglow 

💋 “Killing me slow, out the window // I'm always waiting for you to be waiting below // Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes // What doesn't kill me makes me want you more” - Cruel Summer

💋”And I screamed for whatever it's worth // “I love you" ain't that the worst thing you ever heard” - Cruel Summer 

💋”But we might just get away with it // Religion's in your lips // Even if it's a false god // We'd still worship // We might just get away with it // The altar is my hips // Even if it's a false god // We'd still worship this love” - False God 

💋”They say home is where the heart is // But that's not where mine lives” - London Boy 

💋”Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh // We can follow the sparks, I'Il drive” - I Think He Knows 

💋 “My team is losing, battered and bruising // I see the high fives between the bad guys // Leave with my head hung, you are the only one // Who seems to care” - Ms. Americana and the Heartbreak Prince 

💋”Maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down // Maybe I've stormed out of every single room in this town” - Daylight 

💋”But if the story's over // Why am I still writing pages?” - Death By A Thousand Cuts

💋 “Our country, guess it was a lawless land // Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand // Paper cut stings from our paper thin plans”- Death By A Thousand Cuts 

💋 “All the king's horses, all the king's men // Couldn't put me together again // Cause all of my enemies started out friends // Help me hold onto you” - The Archer 

💋”Cat and mouse for a month or two or three // Now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe” - Paper Rings 

Matthias Helvar : Folklore

🪞 “You're not my homeland anymore // So what am I defending now? // You were my town // Now I'm in exile, seein' you out I think I've seen this film before” - exile 

🪞 “ And they said // "There goes the last great American dynasty" //“Who knows if she never showed up, what could've been" “ - the last great American dynasty

🪞 “‘Cause you weren't mine to lose // You weren't mine to lose, no”- august

🪞 “With you, serve // With you, I fall down, down // Watch you breathe in // Watch you breathing out, out” - epiphany

🪞 “Only 20 minutes to Sleep // But you dream of some epiphany // Just one single glimpse of relief // To make some sense of what you've seen” - epiphany 

🪞 “Keep your helmet, keep your life, son // Just a flesh wound, // here's your rifle “ - epiphany

🪞 “You drew stars around my scars // But now I'm bleedin'” - cardigan 

🪞 “But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss // I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs // The smell of smoke would hang around this long // ‘Cause I knew everything when I was young // I knew I'd curse you for the longest time” - cardigan

🪞 “Time, curious time // Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs // Were there clues I didn't see? // And isn't it just so pretty to think // All along there was some // Invisible string // Tying you to me?” - invisible string 

🪞 “And that's the thing about illicit affairs // And clandestine meetings and longing stares // It's born from just one single glance // But it dies, and it dies, and it dies // A million little times “ - illicit affairs 

🪞”Look at this idiotic fool that you made me // You taught me a secret language // I can't speak with anyone else” - illicit affairs 

🪞 “All these people think love's for show // But I would die for you in secret // The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me // Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?” - peace

🪞” I didn't have it in myself to go with grace //And you're the hero flying around, saving face //And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? // Cursing my name, wishing I stayed //  Look at how my tears ricochet “ - my tears ricochet 

🪞”And I can go anywhere I want // Anywhere I want, just not home” - my tears ricochet

🪞 “Stood on the cliffside // Screaming, "Give me a reason" // Your faithless love's the only hoax// I believe in // Don't want no other shade of blue // But you // No other sadness in the world would do” - hoax 

🪞 “ I want auroras and sad prose // I want to watch wisteria grow right over my bare feet // ‘Cause I haven't moved in years // And I want you right here // A red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground “ - the lakes 

(Kaz, Inej, Jesper and Wylan are already posted)

[illarian-rambling]

Thanks for the tag @mk-writes-stuff, these questions look fun!

OC Question Game

My questions:

What would you wear to a fancy party?

If you could time travel and talk to your younger self, what would you say to them?

What’s the nicest thing someone’s ever done for you?

I'll answer for the Outcasts crew :)

.

1) What would you wear to a fancy party?

Izjik: "...clothes?"

Sepo: "If I had my pick, I'd wear a Shuari-style suit. The fashion compliments my features. Blue is overdone for seafolk and purple makes me look sunburned, so suppose I'd go with a forest green shade. That, paired with some silver hairpins that I could stab someone with in a pinch and a tasteful amount of pointed rings for punching, should do nicely."

Twenari: "I always love a good sundress. They're so elegant without being restricting. I'd go with copper jewelry as well - it sets off my eyes."

Djek: "I don't know - I'm not really the type to get an invite to a fancy party. If I could wear anything though, I'd go with a cape. They just seem so swanky! And you never see someone unimportant wearing a cape. Plus, just things of all the loot I could hide underneath!"

2) If you could time travel and talk to your younger self, what would you say to them?

Izjik: "It gets better, kid. It's not gonna be all sunshine and butterflies, but it ain't gonna be all doom and gloom either, even if it seems like that sometimes. You're gonna go on to meet some incredible people, and do some incredible things. Just keep your chin high and don’t ever give up."

Sepo: "Stop being such a dick. Surface people are sentient. Spend more time with your brother. And go brush up on your Halawema’ishi. It'll be relevant, trust me."

Twenari: "FOR THE LOVE OF THE GODS, STOP FUCKING AROUND WITH ROTTING MAGIC!"

Djek: "Alright, the canal racket numbers in your year were 14-77-85, with a jackpot of half a million tuec. Get a ticket to Hazipili, buy in, and we'll be swimming in coin for the rest of our life. I'm counting on you, man!"

3) What’s the nicest thing someone’s ever done for you?

Izjik: "Other than Sepo saving my life half a dozen times and the humans matching that number between the two of them? I guess that time Djek kept talking to me when we were captured by the church. I wasn't myself. I wasn't acting rational. I'd let End turn me into a beast without it even being all the way in my head. But Djek never gave up on me. He talked and told me stories. He laughed at his own jokes when I wasn't able to. I don't think I've ever been so hopeless, but he never faltered, never let me slip. He's a good man, Djek is; better than he gives himself credit for."

Sepo: "It was within our first week together that Izjik and I had our first argument. I was completely in the wrong and acting like a racist jackass. She gave me what for, as I deserved, but the next day, she also gave me a gift. A little bone flute, carved from a scavenged kill. I think she understood that I was a Singer-Priest stripped of his song. I can't play the flute, of course. I don't have a tongue. But her kindness helped me understand that sirens are wrong about their ideas of a 'superior race.' What uncivilized brute would've done something so perfectly kind for a stranger they knew was hurting? She gave me that flute, yes, but she also gave me the truth of the world."

Twenari: "Izjik and Sepo could've left me to die in the Vay wilderness where they found me. They could've returned me to my mother for a profit. It would've been so easy - I was exhausted and without magic. But they didn't. They took a chance on kindness and risked their lives to keep me out of Undeta’s clutches. I don't think I can ever repay them for that. They gave me the gift of freedom itself."

Djek: "Ok, so you can't tell him I said this, but Sepo is the one who's done probably the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me. We were in an abandoned dwarven temple, interrogating - or trying to interrogate - a cultist. Twenari and Sepo.... They're not really cut out for delicate chit-chat like that. So you know what Sepo did? He took a step back and said I should handle it. Said I was the best man for the job. Me! I know, right? I've never been the best man for any job in my damn life! He trusted me to do it, and to do it better than he could. Everything was riding on getting info outta this lady, and Sepo trusted me."

.

Well, these were fun! Very good questions 👍

I'll tag @elsie-writes @kaylinalexanderbooks @jakkon-and-rose-topic @scribble-dee-vee @steh-lar-uh-nuhs and anyone else who wants to play :)

Your questions are:

What's a childhood fear you had?

What's in your pockets?

Ever considered therapy?

[graces5169]

300 prompts, categories and character descriptions.

Leave however many prompts you want with the genre of writing and any necessary character descriptions and any extra detail needed. :) (make sure you also leave

character x reader so I know who I'm writing about)

¡Prompts! (From Pinterest)

1. Why did you leave me

2. Am I that useless to you

3. I hate you

4. I love you

5. Can you hug me

6. Do I mean anything to you

7. Please stop your hurting me

8. Don't look at me

9. You disappoint me

10. I am (so) proud of you

11. Can I sleep beside/with you tonight

12. I'm scared

13. Can I hug you

14. Please hold me

15. Your hands are shaking

16. Stay by my side it doesn't have to be forever

17. Promise you'll return alive

18. I've always hated you

19. I've always loved you

20. Your safe now I've got you

21. Your the only one I trust to do this

22. Your too good for me

23. You've got to be kidding me

24. Have you lost your damn mind

25. Please don't leave me

26. Why don't you come over here and make me

27. Are you jealous

28. I almost lost you

29. Wanna bet

30. Looks like we'll be trapped a while

31. Just once

32. Shut up

33. It's not what it looks like

34. Sometimes it's hard to keep pretending

35. And if I don't

36. I can't help but stare

37. Make me

38. Can't you pretend you love me just once

39. Is your ego really that big

40. Come dance with me

41. Just shut up for one minute

Original/ (not off Pinterest)

42. What are you afraid of

43. Just love me damnit

44. I'm broken and unfixable

45. She's mine

46. I suggest you back off

47. Fuck off mate

48. I'm not watching you mope around like a loser

49. I'm trying to break up with you

50. Did you ever care

51. I was a fucking game

52. Im not your toy

53. She's so annoying

54. Your nothing but a stupid mudblood

55. You tried to kill me

56. I could've killed her

57. Im a monster

58. I hate myself to

59. How'd you do that

60. She never smiles anymore

61. She only smiles when he's around

62. I'd rather date Sirius

63. This time your 'prank' went to far

64. Just my parents

65. You don't deserve this

66. They don't deserve you

67. You have a beautiful voice

68. She's stunning

69. I have to go I'm sorry

70. I can't do this

71. Are we just friends

72. You could never hurt me

73. Your a wolf

74. Are you serious

75. I'd never date you

76. I don't believe you darling

77. You're cheating on me

78. It's over

79. Im pretty sure I'm drunk but you're really hot

80. We can't do this

81. Im sorry

82. It's better this way

83. "Fuck you!" "When?"

84. Im going

85. Im stopping at nothing to get her back

86. Because I'm in love with you god damnit

87. It's too late for me

88. I fancy you

89. Would you fancy a date day at hogsmade this Saturday

(From Pinterest)

90. Im tired of being your secret

91. Who did this to you

92. You are not fine

93. I thought you hated me

94. Im not leaving you

95. I don't owe you an explanation

96. I thought pushing her away was for the better

97. Nobody wants me

98. I want an answer goddamnit

99. No one's ever done that to me before

100. This feels nice

101. I haven't been hugged in years

102. Im pathetic

103. Im not happy here

104. I want my best friend back

105. Go away

106. If he can't see how amazing you are that's his loss

107. What are you smiling about

108. What's in it for me

109. Do you ever stop talking

110. Isn't this what you wanted

111. She's better off

112. Can I hold your hand

113. You can't do that shit

114. You can borrow mine

115. I'll wait

116. He hit me

117. Your one of them

118. I like your scars

119. Don't fall asleep on me

120. Can I date your brother

121. Your a deatheater

122. Don't make me say something I'll regret

123. Can I braid your hair

124. Your really pretty

125. Let me help you

126. You stubborn arse

127. Your in love with her

128. Stay I need you more than you know

129. Your killing me here

130. Tell me I'm wrong

131. I'd be lying to you

132. Lie to me

133. Prove it

134. I'll never get another chance to say this

135. I never stood a chance did I

136. Tell me again

137. This is why we can't have nice things

138. Do you regret it

139. I'm not going anywhere

140. Another nightmare

141. You've thought about it haven't you

142. We need to talk about last night

143. We were drunk we can just put it behind us

144. You were my biggest mistake

145. Are you drunk

146. What happens if I do this

147. I can't have you

148. Just for tonight

149. Be mine for just one night

150. She was crying because of you

151. We're not just friends and you fucking know it

152. You could die and I couldn't care less

153. I never cared

154. Please don't cry I can't stand to see you cry

155. Walk out that door and were through

156. Yell, scream, shout, say something

157. I can't breathe

158. I hate how much I love you

159. Where do you think your going

160. I'm not letting you walk at night alone three miles back

161. I need time and space

162. Run away like you always do you fucking coward

163. You can keep pretending it didn't happen all you want but guess what it fucking did

164. Can't we just be friends again

165. Stop acting like your okay cause I know your not

166. Just talk to me

167. Bite me

168. If you insist

169. I think I'm in love with you and that scares the shit out of me

170. I think your just afraid to be happy

171. I'm afraid I'll hurt her

172. Why are you so nice to me

173. Choose me

174. Shut up and kiss me

175. Your blushing

176. Is that my shirt

177. This is awkward

178. Please come home I miss you

179. It won't happen again

180. I don't see a future with you

181. Why are you helping a monster

182. Stay the fuck back

183. Please pull the trigger

184. Leave! I don't fucking care

185. I can't save us

186. So save yourself

187. Why didn't you tell me how bad it got

188. I never said I wanted a relationship with you so why are you crying

189. I deserve more than this

190. I'm not anyones favorite person

191. I just want to be wanted I'm tired of being needed for everything

192. I know! But you didn't have to use her like that

193. We can start over, please I'll do anything

194. Everything can be perfect so please don't leave

195. I guess we just weren't meant to be

196. You're always leaving me

197. Stop lying

198. If you die I'll go out of my fucking head

199. Your cute when your mad

200. And Your adopted

201. You gave us quite a scare

202. We can work it out

203. You're overreacting

204. You're all I have left

205. I don't care what they think

206. It's me

207. You make me feel safe

208. You guys read my diary what are you five

209. I don't recognize you anymore

210. You make me sick

211. Sorry can't fix what you've done

212. Do you really have feelings for me

213. Don't look at me like that

214. Give me a break

215. It's not a party without alcohol

216. Truth or dare

217. It's six in the morning your not having anymore firewhiskey

218. Your drive me fucking crazy

219. I'm dangerous please stay back

220. Did you hit your head as a kid

221. She's not yours anymore

222. She's deaf dumbass

223. I'm sorry for my brother he's an asshole

224. Oi, fuck off please

225. "I could kiss you right now." "Do it then"

226. What are you doing to me

227. Just admit I'm right

228. He's hot

229. Your my brother I'll always care for you

230. I'm personally offended I didn't get picked to be your fake date

231. They don't love me they're not that stupid

232. We'll what can I say I'm badass

233. Do I get bonus points if I act like I care

234. Excuse me I have to go make a scene

235. I'm gonna need therapy after this

236. Do your parents realize they're living proof that two wrongs don't make a right

237. I'm going on a date

238. Will you be my girlfriend

239. Would you rather kiss me or Lilly

240. Your bloody obsessed

241. She looks so perfect

242. You look beautiful

243. I wanna become an animagus

244. Stop coming back

245. Do you love him

246. I can't love you

247. You made me better

248. You ate my leftovers

249. Just get it over with

250. Were best when we're together don't you think

251. Can I kiss you

252. If I kiss you It's gonna change everything

253. Fuck it

254. I'm pretty sure I just made a fool of myself

255. Can you stop ignoring me

256. I'm friends with a bunch of two year olds

257. Hug me

258. Oh deer

(Amortentia)

259. Chocolate, old books and rain

260. Cologne, wet dog and leather

261. Cologne, broom polish and fresh cut grass

(Pinterest)

262. Are you hitting on me

263. This was fun, we should do it again

264. You owe me

265. I swear I'm gonna slit his fucking throat

266. Did you just kiss me

267. Huh ironic isn't it I'm a lone wolf

268. You hooked up

269. You kissed her

270. Teach me

271. What are we

272. What if I do

273. I want you to be happy

274. I think your beautiful

275. Why do you have scars

276. Shut up before you wake them

277. This is why we don't listen to you

278. What do you mean maybe

279. Hey whose side are you on

280. It's okay you didn't know

281. At least my parents are still alive

282. That wasn't love it was a perfect illusion

283. She makes my heart beat at a million miles per second

284. I'm not in the mood to fight with you tonight

285. Come stay with me

286. Don't call me love

287. I always keep my promises

288. Revenge is my best work

289. Why are you up

290. He's amazing

291. She's not going with you

292. I wasn't lying when I told you I loved you

293. Why are you scared

294. Why aren't you scared of me

295. If your a monster for what you've done than I'm the fucking devil

296. You fucking traitor

297. I'll always love you

298. I will never leave you no matter what happens between us I'll always be there

299. Please stop

300. I fucking love you thats why

Genre/ type of story

Friends to lovers

Enemies to lovers

Fluff

Angst with a happy ending

Angst with a sad ending

Fluff to angst

Angst to fluff

+ more

No smut

Character x reader

Sirius black and reader

James potter and reader

Remus lupin and reader

Lilly Evans and reader

Regulus black and reader

Marlene McKinnon and reader

Characters house

Slytherin

Gryffindor

Ravenclaw

Hufflepuff

Any added features

Name?

Hair color

Eye color

Attitude/personality

Relationship status with parents and other characters

Any important details.

[supersoldierhimbo]

INDEPENDENCE DAY (1996) SENTENCE STARTERS

feel free to change pronouns/context as needed!

If this isn't an insanely beautiful woman, I'm hanging up.

I think you should listen to this.

Hey, you have any idea how long it takes for those to decompose?

If you don't move soon, I'm gonna start to decompose.

You may inadvertently trigger an interstellar war.

Oh god, I hope they bring back Elvis.

Everyone's trying to get out of Washington, and we're the only schmucks trying to get in.

If I had known I was gonna meet the president, I would've worn a tie. I mean look at me. I look like a schlemiel.

Is that an earthquake?

Go back to sleep.

A countdown... wait, a countdown to what, ___?

It's like in chess: First, you strategically position your pieces and when the timing is right, you strike.

You punched the president?

There you go, thinking you're all that. But you are not as charming as you think you are.

I picked a hell of a day to quit drinking.

You're leaving now?

Los Angeles, New York, and Washington D.C. have been left in ruins...

Let's kick the tires and light the fires, big daddy!

Why we are on this particular mission, we'll never know.

But I do know, here, today, that the ____ will emerge victorious once again.

___, listen, pack your stuff and head for ___. Don't argue with me; just go.

___, why did I just send my mother to Atlanta?

This could be our last night on Earth. You don't want to die a virgin, do you?

Look, I really don't think they flew 90 billion light years to come down here and start a fight. Get all rowdy.

Smart man. Shot in the back, very sad.

Oh, yeah, great. Now he tells me.

I don't understand, where does all this come from?

How do you get funding for something like this?

None of you did anything to prevent this!

There was nothing we could do! We were totally unprepared for...

That's not entirely accurate.

As you can imagine, they... they don't let us out much.

This is the vault. Or as some of us like to call it: the Freak Show.

At this rate, we could be looking at the worldwide destruction of every major city in the next 36 hours.

Then we're being exterminated.

Oh, crap.

Oh no, you did NOT shoot that green shit at me!

Who's the man? Huh? Who's the man?!

Wait til I get another plane!

Welcome to earth!

Now that's what I call a close encounter.

Y'know, this was supposed to be my weekend off, but no.

And what the hell is that smell?!

I could've been at a barbecue!

But I ain't mad.

This is a restricted area. I can't let you pass without clearance.

You wanna see my clearance?

Maybe I'll just leave this here with you.

What do you want us to do?

Is that glass bulletproof?

They're like locusts.

Let's nuke the bastards.

Haven't you ever wanted to be part of something special?

I was part of something special.

What the hell are you doing?!

A toast, to the end of the world.

This is our victory dance.

Don't say "oops."

What do you say we try that again?

That word should have new meaning for all of us today.

We will not go quietly into the night!

We will not vanish without a fight!

We're going to live on!

We're going to survive!

You really think you can do all that bullshit you just said?

I have got to get me one of these!

However, that is a mistake, I am happy to say, that I don't have to live with.

Doesn't anybody have any missiles left?

Okay, boys, let's give ___ some cover. Gentlemen, let's plow the road!

Do me a favor.

In the words of my generation: up yours!

Hello boys--I'm back!

They're bringing us in.

When the hell was you gonna tell me?

Oops.

Time's up.

We're gonna have to work on our communication.

Nobody's perfect.

Payback's a bitch, ain't it?

I always thought things like this would kill me.

Take a look at the earthlings.

Y'all take care, all right?

Nothing but love for ya.

Think they got any idea of what's about to happen to them?

Can you get us out of here in 30 seconds?

I ain't heard no fat lady!

Forget the fat lady, you're obsessed with the fat lady! Drive us out of here!

We're not hit, we're not hit! Stop side-seat driving!

What the hell do you think I'm doing?

Go faster, must go faster, must go faster.

Elvis has left the building!

Any word from them?

Hold it, ___, I've got something on radar.

___... not bad. Not too bad at all.

Oh, so this is healthy?

Didn't I promise you fireworks?

[efoyisk]

"hey, loki." he doesn't know where he is. not exactly. somewhere in california, that he knows. around the 1980's. somewhere safe, or at least years before the invasion of new york ever happens. mobius doesn't like going to anytime after that period, unless he's visiting don and the kids, because any time where he knows a version of loki is near earth hurts.

anyway. he's glad that b-15 let him get ahold of a timepad. just in case you need to find your way back here, she tells him, even though that's kind of bull, because they both know he's going to use it for anything but to return to the TVA.

the TVA. mobius feels a bitter scoff running up his throat now, but he chases it away. so much for it being his whole life; being all that he knows. it's surprisingly barren, working through the files and the computer log without... well, without ravonna breathing his neck for once, and without loki. loki. right. he was in the middle of something, wasn't he?

mobius digs his toes into the california sands. it's rough. even being near the sea isn't as thrilling as it should've been.

"they said you could hear me. theoretically. wherever you are, up in the cosmos, or- or beyond that. how... how are ya'?" people are looking at him weird for talking alone, to no one, but who cares. he doesn't. "i hope... i hope you're good, yeah. i just- i've been well, if you'd even care to ask." but of course loki cares; the gentlest thing to ever to. if he doesn't, he would've let all these lives perish. but instead—

"i'm sorry. you know i didn't mean that." he says softly now, like the god is right there. like mobius could reach him, caress that hair away from that face like he never could've, but wanted to. he'd always wanted to. there were just- never time. never a chance. loki was so focused, and he only ever wanted to help. "i've been good, uh. but you know that, cause i mentioned it. i just... i know about don now, and the kids. great kids. little rascals, really. kinda remind me of you."

a chuckle, but again, it sounds- like rattling stones in an empty can. it's nothing. it's just sound. mobius hates it. "i... i don't get it, loki. i don't." he whispers now, and there's anguish there, deep and wretched. it's selfish, asking this of loki, pleading. he's doing a good thing; he's saving lives, but mobius— "i know you've wanted a throne, but is this what you meant?"

alone, cold, empty. did he even have food there? snacks? could he sleep? is anybody even taking care of him, looking out for him? mobius doesn't know; and not knowing kills.

"you know, i never... i never said it aloud- maybe i should've, but... i thought we could've had a good life together, you and me. i don't know what we'd be doing: probably tasting food, riding jet skis and causing mischief, but it sounds like a life, right? a good one. a simple one, but good. and i could- i would've built a throne for you if you want. in a nice house, maybe. by a lake. just you and me, loki. we'll let time pass, you and i. that's all we would have to do. no more heroic deeds; no more sacrificial lambs. just ... something simple, but good."

i would've loved you, is what he doesn't say, but desperately wants to. how can he? his throat's tight. and his vision's getting blurry. great, mobius thinks, wiping away at his budding tears. he can't be doing this again. cause what if loki'll never take him seriously, a man begging through his sobs. he's an asgardian like that; they're gonna have their pride. "i- i miss you. i'm sorry." for what? he doesn't know. for not being quick enough, maybe, to notice what loki's up to. for not stopping him when he could. for not waiting.

because that's all loki's ever wanted: time. mobius wishes he could've given it to him.

   it’s quite strange.   he can feel everything.   everything that is, everything that isn’t, everything that was and will be and might be and is about to be and—you understand.   eyes and ears everywhere.   watching but not quite living.   at least most of them are.   except one.

  except the one to whom loki owes beyond everyone else.   that one is solemn, nostalgic and defeated, unable to enjoy the water he so passionately enjoyed, once.   it feels bitter.   if loki can feel such a thing anymore.

  the wind picks up a little.   the clouds above mobius form a strange shape, like a pair of almond shaped eyes.   a kid a few meters away points it out to his mother.   i know, the sea whispers.   i know.   the sky darkens though only slightly.   the waves form a rhythmic hum, like a calling from the beyond.   it’s a sad sound.   serene, though wretched.   like the whining of some spectre, unable to escape from where it’s been bound.   the gentle breeze picks up into a gust of wind, rising sand up to mobius’s thighs, dusting him.

  a croak echoes behind him.   there’s a bird there, behind him;   white, black, the edges of its wings gleaming with blue-green when the light hits it just right.   the magpie tilts its head, cawing at mobius then it opens its wings, rises until it can settle on mobius’s shoulder and nests there, cawing at the horizon.   there’s naught to be done.   this was the only way loki wanted to follow.   the only way they could be given a chance;   the only way for them to live and to protect what has been preserved.   it’s a sad thing.   loki does not regret it.   he only hopes this time, it will be enough.

[rendevousz]

not a secret anymore

natasha romanoff x fem!teen!reader

summary: nat reveals a secret to the public when your class takes a learning journey to the tower.

requested: yes

warnings: might come off as half assed writing because this probably is one of my worst works i'm so sorry 😭😭

word count: 1681

notes: i'm so sorry i haven't been writing much, i've recently just gotten extremely busy so i had no time to sit down and write (this one was literally written between all the short breaks i had 😫) and i have a few requests piling up so i hope you guys can understand if they come later <3

"hi, y/n!" ally, an agent, greeted you as you, along with your classmates, walked through the east wing hallway of the tower. your classmates—except for peter, ned and mj— turned to look at you with confused looks.

your class was having a learning journey at the avengers tower and you had contemplated on calling in sick to avoid people who worked in the tower acknowledging you around your classmates.

you were actually an avenger—yeah, crazy—, having been rescued during one of the many avengers' hostage rescue missions few years ago. you were able to single-handedly take down a few of your captors, hence why the team took interest in you then.

now, though you had been trained enough, they decided to keep you a secret in order to protect you. lord knows how many people would try hurt you if they ever found out the avengers had a new, teenage recruit. peter was technically still safe as his alter-ego is masked so you had no choice but to only go on missions that weren't in the public eye.

you also lived in the tower so the agents and staff were undoubtedly familiar with you, some even friends with you, just like ally, who had just passed by with a wave of her hand at you before turning the corner.

"did that lady just acknowledge you?" an annoying voice spoke from beside you in a mocking tone. you gulped, not wanting to respond to flash's irrelevant question.

"hey, loser, i'm talking to you," he nudged your arm with his elbow and you held the urge to grab it and flip his whole body upside down. it's not like you couldn't—you had the skills, obviously— but it's the fact that you didn't want to get in trouble for that.

you ended up keeping quiet, like you always did whenever the boy taunted you. peter taught you to do just that. if it were up to you, flash's stupid face wouldn't even dare to show itself in front of you anymore.

speaking of peter, he was nowhere to be seen by now. you internally rolled your eyes. it had only been two minutes and they were already gone. peter was probably showing them around the place. you had no idea how your teacher didn't notice the three of them missing from your group. you were so going to kill them for ditching you and leaving you alone when they knew they were your only friends. they were also the reason why flash still had his head to this day because they'd stop you from doing anything rash. now you weren't sure if flash would be safe from your fury.

"you probably work here as a cleaner on the weekends or something, huh? that's the only way people here would know you," flash jeered. you let out a breath, trying to control your anger towards the boy.

you rolled your eyes, opting to deliberately ignore his insults and walk away instead, hoping you'll bump into those three idiots of friends of yours.

"did you just ignore me?" flash asked incredulously, as if it was a crime to ignore his annoying ass. he pulled you back by your back collar, effectively halting you in your spot.

by instinct, you grabbed his hand that was on your collar, twisting it and turning his whole body around, pinning him against the wall with his twisted arm pressed against his back. it happened in just two seconds which totally caught flash off guard, the boy groaning in pain as he begged you to let him free.

you could hear a series of gasps from all around you and you internally groaned. this is why you always ignored flash's taunting. you didn't want to attract attention to yourself and have people wonder how you could defend yourself so well. but flash just had to provoke you. especially here, out of all places.

"what's going on here?" you heard a familiar voice ask and you sighed.

"oh my gosh! it's the black widow!"

"miss romanoff!"

"oh my gosh, i'm gonna need to get a picture for my mum later, she's gonna freak out!"

you stepped away from flash, releasing him as he dramatically kept rubbing at his arm. as if you even put that much pressure. flash smirked, seeing this as a chance to complain about you to an official avenger.

"this girl right here," flash points an accusing finger at you with a glare, like he wasn't just practically begging for his life twenty seconds ago. "attacked me."

you rolled your eyes, unamused. "i hardly attacked him." you told nat. the woman turned to you, an eyebrow raised as she gave you a knowing look. "this...?" she trailed off and you nodded, knowing what she was insinuating. you'd told her about flash one too many times for her not to immediately figure out who he is from a crowd of students.

"flash thompson. heard a lot about you," she turned to the boy. flash's face lit up, thinking he must've made a name for himself or something that even the black widow knew him. little did he know he did, but not for good reasons.

"i would prefer if you stop messing with y/n/n." nat gave him a sharp look and that grin was immediately wiped off his face. "i– y/n/n?" he stuttered, confused that the natasha romanoff is calling you by a nickname.

"you do know she can kick your ass if she wanted to, right? she's been silent all this while because she didn't want to hurt you but you just never seem to learn, huh?" nat took slow, calculated steps towards him until she was towering over him.

"she doesn't need anyone to protect her because she's fully capable of that but i'm just here to warn you, kid, that she, is not to be meddled with. i'm saying this for your own good, flash thompson. she's capable of much worse than whatever she just did to you. so if i hear you messing around with her or any of her friends," she pauses before continuing with a whisper. "i'll close one eye on whatever she wants to do with you."

you wished you could've taken a picture of the dead scared look on flash's face; it was priceless. you turned to nat once she stepped away from him and she put an arm around your shoulder, leading you both away from the watching crowd.

"i–i'm sorry, miss romanoff," you could hear one of your teachers say and nat stopped, effectively stopping you too as she had you in her hold. "but miss y/l/n is on a learning journey with us and she'll miss the tour of the tower if she leaves with you. we'll be discussing a lot regarding this trip in class and she won't understand what we talk about if she misses this tour. i hope you understand." he spoke nervously.

"with all due respect, y/n's seen the whole tower already," she smiles at him but you could tell it was fake. "even the avengers' residential floors which are closed to the public and most employees of the tower."

your teacher looked at her wide-eyed, mouth open but nothing coming out. nat smiles a fake one once again. "now if you'll excuse us, the both of us have avenger duties to attend to."

gasps could be heard all around you and in the midst of it all, your best friends came back and you made eye contact with them, all of them having the same shocked look on their face.

"avenger duties?! nat, what are you doing?!" you whisper-yelled at the woman who seemed to be enjoying the reactions of your classmates and teachers.

"y/n!" peter ran over to you, your other friends following suit. "oh, um hi miss romanoff," he greets shyly. "thanks a lot, guys, look what happened." you spoke sarcastically, rolling your eyes at them. nat proceeded to drag you away from your friends and the last thing you saw was them mouthing apologies and you half-heartedly mouthing to them back that it was fine.

"relax, y/n/n, the public were about to find out soon anyways." nat said nonchalantly. "what?!" you exclaimed once you two were in a different hallway.

"yeah, you're gonna have press this weekend for this. we're gonna officially announce you to the world as an avenger." she once again says nonchalantly, as if this wasn't the first time you were hearing this. "wait, wait, wait, seriously?" you asked in disbelief. no one had told you anything.

"yeah, i—ohh yeah, you don't know yet," nat remembers and you give her an unimpressed look. she wasn't usually this dumb; she only showed this side of her to you. "sorry, i uh, yeah.. i was supposed to come get you for this. meeting with fury and the rest, yknow?" she tells you and you nodded slowly, taking in the information.

"but tell me it didn't feel good that you got to do that to flash," the woman states excitedly and you playfully rolled your eyes at her. "you got to do something. i'm practically an empty threat to him," you stated matter-of-factly.

"not after this weekend you're not. he'll be afraid of you after. that's what you get for being a smelly bully." you couldn't help the little smile on your face. she really sounded like a child right now and it was adorable.

"alright, natty, whatever you say. let's go before fury releases his fury." you look at her hopefully, waiting for her to laugh at your joke which she responded with an unimpressed look. that of course didn't work as you two burst out laughing looking at each other's faces.

you walked alongside her, the woman resting an arm around your shoulder. you smiled up at her as she talked about her day.

god, you couldn't wait to be able to finally walk out in public with these people you considered family.

taglist <3

@amourtentiaa @rqmanoff @abitofeverythinggg @andreasworlsboring101 @cay-writes-fan-fiction514 @teenwonder @sevenmorningstars @fleurlovesbucky @marauvdersfate

[astro-rain]

delicate; b. barnes

chapter thirteen - “sober desires & the reminiscence of a winsome smile”

delicate masterlist

word count: 4k

synopsis: wakanda gets a visit from our favorite captain, two drinks is too much rum for a reticent psychologist, and bucky knows (& feels) more than meets the eye.

pairings: bucky x fem!reader

[A/N]: this took so long to write but WHEW this chapter!!!! pls let me know what you think >:D

The knock on the outside of his hut was followed by a deep accented voice, one that he had heard before.

"Sergeant Barnes?" it called.

Quickly enough Bucky was outside, facing the king of Wakanda himself. He wasn't sure exactly what to say. You see, the majority of their past interactions included the Black Panther trying to kill him. T'Challa was kind and Bucky trusted him. It was just... a little awkward given the history.

"Your highness," he greeted.

He smiled bashfully at the title.

"I have some news for you."

Bucky's head cocked to the side, curious. News? Should he be worried? He hadn't been expecting anything.

"Captain Rogers is on his way here. He was alerted about our recent complication with N'Jadaka," he said, referring to who Bucky guessed was who Y/N called Erik Killmonger, "and he asked to come check in, make sure you're okay."

Steve was coming. His mood was immediately uplifted. He hadn't seen his oldest friend for months. It was weird to have Steve feeling the need to make sure Bucky was okay; it was usually the other way around. Nonetheless, he was excited. And he had the sudden urge to tell Y/N.

- - -

READER

"Sharon. Hey," she said into the phone.

The friends hadn't spoken since Y/N left for Wakanda - security measures since Sharon helped Steve and betrayed the... well everyone.

"Y/N!" Sharon greeted. "How is everything? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, no I'm totally okay. The Killmonger thing was more the royal family's deal than mine. I was just hiding out in some bunker with Barnes."

Concerned weaved its way into Sharon's voice. "Oh my god. Did anything happen?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, historically, stress hasn't affected him well..."

She wasn't sure why she almost got offended. "No... he was completely fine. He doesn't lose control out of nowhere and turn into the winter soldier. It's a lot more complicated than that... We were fine."

"Oh, that's good. Listen... I'm actually on my way to Wakanda right now."

"You're-... what?"

"Steve needed to check in on Bucky after Killmonger. Wilson and I are coming too."

They must all be together. It makes sense considering what happened after the disaster in Berlin, and then the airport fiasco in Germany and then... everything in Siberia.

Aw, they're in hiding together, Y/N joked in her head. She almost laughed out loud.

"Oh. Is that safe? For you? For everyone?"

"I've been careful. We've all been careful. But, things don't always go as planned. And T'Challa feels bad about putting you guys in a dangerous situation when he was supposed to protect you."

"It wasn't his fault."

"I know. We all know. But, it's kind of his way of making up for it: letting us stay so that Steve can check in on Barnes and we can cool off for a bit."

"Was Rogers mad?"

"Well, he wasn't thrilled that his best friend was trapped alone in a country that just got taken over..."

He wasn't alone.

"...he was mostly worried," Sharon continued. "Still is."

"Right."

"Alright, well I got to go. We'll be there in a couple hours."

"I'll see you. Be safe."

"See you."

- - -

BUCKY BARNES

"Hey Buck," the happiness in Steve's voice was genuine as he patted his oldest friend on the back in the middle of an embrace. "How you been?"

"A hell of a lot better than the last time I saw you, that's for damn sure," Bucky smiled.

Sam Wilson stood next to the star spangled man with a plan. Bucky briefly glanced at him.

"Wilson," he deadpanned.

"Barnes," he returned the greeting.

"I was worried when T'Challa told me about Killmonger," Steve said. "Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that they let you stay here, but I just didn't think I'd have to be worried so soon."

"It's alright. Everything turned out okay and I was fine the whole time. You don't have to lose your head."

"I'm not losing my head."

"You never had it in the first place."

The blonde changed the topic of conversation.

"You were with that therapist right?"

"Yeah."

"What do we think about her?" he asked with equal parts caution and suspicion. "Do you trust her?"

Bucky wasn't sure why he was almost offended.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I?"

"Well, you know what happened the last time you were with a psychiatrist..."

"Yeah well, this one doesn't have a personal vendetta against the Avengers."

"You sure she's alright?"

He looked serious, and Bucky could see the genuine concern etched into his friend's face. Steve was truly wary.

"I'm positive. She's helped so much since I've been here. I really trust her."

"Okay, if you say so. I trust you."

Bucky smirked. "Hey uh... is Sharon with you?"

Sam said nothing but radiated a smirk to match Bucky's perfectly, a kind of smirk that only a ball-busting best friend cracks.

"She is..." Steve replied. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh nothing. Just wondering, that's all."

"She said she wanted to talk to a friend."

"Oh, she's probably with Y/N."

"Who?"

"Y/N. Dr. Y/L/N. 'The therapist.'"

"I didn't know they were friends."

"Why do you think Sharon recommended her?"

"She said she knew 'the best' person to help."

"That true. She's crazy smart."

"As long as she can do the job, I'm all for it, no matter whose friend she is."

In a short-lived thought, Bucky wondered what Steve Rogers would think of who else Y/N was friends with. He wondered if Steve would think it was strange to be friends with your doctor, or if he'd be pleased that Bucky had gotten close to someone, anyone else in this world.

"How long are you guys staying for?" Bucky asked.

Steve rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. "Honestly, we were only planning on staying for like a week or so. We've been moving throughout Europe, and the other day, when we were in Prague... it was almost really bad."

"We need to stay low for a while," Sam added.

"What did you do?" Bucky asked, used to Steve getting himself into trouble.

"It's a long story..."

"What did T'Challa say about it?"

"He said to take as much time as we needed," Steve filled him in.

"You know, I'm startin' to really like this guy," Sam nodded, smiling. "Obviously when he went all cat murderer on you, he was a bit of a pain in the ass. But now? Guardian angel."

Bucky shook his head at Sam's nonsense. What an idiot, he thought. He wondered what Y/N would think of Sam, but then a more pressing question popped into his head.

"Where are you guys gonna stay?"

"I'm guessing there," Steve said pointing behind Bucky.

When he turned around, Bucky was shocked but he also wasn't. Behind and around his hut stood three more just like it, but slightly smaller. He could've sworn those weren't there yesterday, but that's the beauty of Wakanda. They were ten steps ahead of the rest of the world and he guessed that included speed building as well.

"I will never stop loving this place," he admired.

-

He tried not to sound too eager when he knocked on her door. She looked shocked but didn't really try to hide it.

"Oh," she sounded confused. "Hi, Bucky..."

"Hey," he grinned. "I have a proposition for you."

Her eyebrows lowered as her lips twisted into the most devilish smirk. She could communicate an entire joke with just her face.

"Not like that!" he exclaimed.

She laughed, smirk morphing into an endearing smile. "Like what then?"

"Steve wanted to have like a bonfire sorta thing to catch up since we're all together for once. You know, just like drinks and stupid stories from the forties. D'ya think you could part with your paper work to grace us with your presence?"

"Oh, uh... are you sure?"

"Of course. I'd love to have you there."

She wrung out her hands. "I don't know, Buck. Is that really appropriate? To have your doctor hangin' out with your friends?"

"That may be, but that's not what I'm asking. I want my friend to 'hang out' with my other friends."

Out of her composure seeped a meek smile. The air felt softer to him.

"And maybe you can analyze Wilson and tell me what his biggest fear is later," he added.

She snickered.

"Okay. Lead the way, James Buchanan."

-

The fire was a monster, roaring and crackling with all the life in the world. Bucky loved it. He loved the warmth, the heat, the lack of cold.

"I'm gonna get another drink," Y/N said. "You want anything, Buck?"

"I'm all set," he smiled, gaze lingering for only a second too long.

"Sharon?" she turned. "You?"

The blonde shook her head. "Oh, I think I've had plenty."

Surrounding the fire sat five chairs. All but one was empty as Y/N went to get her second drink. Of course they were in Sam's hut, Bucky thought. After all, even though it was Steve's idea, Sam was most excited about the whole thing, actually sitting down and just relaxing instead of fleeing from belligerent governments.

"Therapist's pretty," Sam noted with a smirk once she was out of hearing range.

"Y/N," Bucky corrected, mind going completely elsewhere. "She's so smart."

"Smart enough to call you Buck..." Steve said, catching on to Sam.

"What?"

"She calls you Buck."

"Yeah, so? You do too."

"Yeah, but I've known you longer. And I'm your friend."

"She's my friend too," he shrugged.

"She's your doctor..."

"And I'm a hundred year old man with one arm trying to get un-brainwashed in a country that the rest of the world doesn't even know exists. None of this is conventional."

"...fair," Steve said, with only a little bit of skepticism. "Are you guys close?"

Does spending hours alone talking with someone in a hidden bunker make you close? Does them comforting you after a nightmare and then subsequently allowing you to get the best night sleep you've had in forever? What about making daring voyages to quaint waterfalls and laughing a kind of laugh that makes your heart swell? What about-

"Buck?"

He shrugged. Again. "I guess so."

Sam narrowed his eyebrows. "How close?"

"Wilson," Sharon admonished exasperatedly. "Y/L/N's his doctor, come on. That's inappropriate to suggest."

Sam put his hands up in mock surrender. Briefly, just briefly, Bucky imagined kicking the leg of Sam's chair and watching him fall back. He didn't, obviously. But it would have been funny if he did.

The seemingly never ending conversation was cut short when Y/N returned, drink in hand, and took her seat next to Bucky.

"What'd you get?" he asked, demeanor subtly but swiftly changing into something lighter, something happier.

"I don't know, but it has rum in it," she shrugged sardonically before clinking her glass with Bucky's.

"Cheers," Sam raised his glass, trying to engage.

Y/N wordlessly, and with a half-smile, raised her glass in his direction.

"So," Steve started, comfortably crossing his legs and leaning back into his chair before asking Bucky, "you wanna know what actually happened in Prague?"

"Do enlighten me. I've been waiting all night."

"Jerk."

"Punk."

The rest of the night went on sort of like this. The group took turns telling stories and then listening. Cracking jokes and then laughing. Everyone but Y/N, Bucky noticed. She just... sat and drank, livelihood only extending to the borders of her seat.

He hadn't seen her like this before, and he found himself stuck halfway between confused and worried. Had something happened? Had something wrong been said?

He kept an eye on her as dusk melted into night. He told himself it was because he was concerned, but that was only in addition to the way he was magnetized to how she looked with the light of the fire gleaming on her skin.

After she would finish a drink, she'd stare into the fire for a little while, before leaving to get another. When he made sure no one was looking at him, he'd look at her. Discretely. At her eyes. The reflection of the fire in her pupils made him wonder if she would burn the fire before it could ever burn her. He was all too aware of the heat that accompanied her gaze. It was a ravishing burn that made him ache for the searing feeling as soon as it was taken away.

He didn't dare think of it for too long or else he would get distracted. And someone would call his name, pulling him out of a trance he didn't want to be caught in. A trance he wasn't sure he wanted to admit that he was in.

The night remained as such until someone - he couldn't remember who - said they were tired, and everyone bid their farewells, and wished their good nights.

Y/N spared about a side hug to Sharon before walking off on her own. Bucky half volunteered, half insisted on tending to the fire to make sure it went out, only to ignore it as soon as everyone was gone and follow after his psychologist.

He caught up to her as she was in the middle of opening the door to her living quarters.

"Y/N."

She turned around in the spot, door wide open, staring up at him.

He bore into her eyes, looking at something, noticing her dilated pupils and hazy stare.

"You're drunk," he said, but it sounded more like a question.

"Yeah."

"But you don't seem drunk?"

"I'm not wasted," she padded into the room, carelessly leaving the door wide open for him to walk through. "Just drunk enough to remember why I didn't drink in college."

She rubbed her eyes.

"Think I want another one," she sighed, heading for the door with a bitter smile. "More rum."

Bucky gently closed the door, maneuvering himself in front of it, and blocking her from exiting. Another drink is definitely not a good idea.

He changed the subject. "Why didn't you drink in college?"

Her eyebrows raised, introducing a look that said Really? You think I don't know what you're doing?

"Wow, look at you being the voice of reason for my otherwise inebriated brain."

Nevertheless, she cooperated.

She sighed. "It just... makes me miserable. I'm a sad drunk."

"Better than a mean drunk," he offered.

"Possibly. It's a real mood killer, though."

"That why you were off all night?"

"Off... ? I don't know, I guess so... I'm usually pretty inconspicuous when I'm drunk. Didn't think anyone would really notice."

There was no hesitation when he spoke.

"I did."

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't be sorry. Just... why did you keep drinking if it only makes you miserable?"

"Alcohol is a depressant," she breathed mechanically, as if speaking was difficult. "It depresses your nervous system, then you get disinhibited. Then you don't care about rationality and just drink! Then in the moment it feels kinda good... but then it makes you sad... and then you need more to blur the feeling away. It's like... the worse you feel, the more you need to drink... but then the more you drink... the worse you feel..."

"How are you drunk but still talking... sorta still like you usually do?"

She smirked, looking like she was trying not to laugh. He was glad she was smiling.

"Maybe you're not the only one with heightened metabolism as a result of the serum..."

He looked at her quizzically, amused. She wasn't making total sense, but he couldn't find it in himself to give much of a damn. She smiled, again.

"Kidding. I just have outstanding self-control."

She plopped down on the floor, deciding that she no longer wanted to use her legs. Fine motor function was overrated for intoxicated people.

He sat down with her, next to her.

"If I tell you a joke will you be less sad-drunk?"

"I already am 'less sad-drunk.' I wasn't before, but," she took a breath in, "now you're here, so... improvements have been made."

"That's good 'cause I was worried before."

She glanced up at him with brazen eye contact. Her face held a mixture of what looked like a confused and pained expression, as something changed. Some sort of realization or reality check.

She wiped her hands over her face. "God, this is so ridiculous. I'm sorry. You shouldn't be worried about me, that's not your job. I'm sorry. I should just go to bed, and you can leave..."

"I know it's not my job. I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

"I was alright- it... it's not like I was crying at the fire or something. I was fine."

"After your second drink, you were silent almost the entire time."

"You were counting my drinks?"

Not exactly.

"I was paying attention."

"To what?"

To you.

"You completely turned into yourself. Your elbows and legs were drawn in close to your body: unrelaxed and almost apprehensive posture. You were nonverbal, didn't make any jokes, no sarcastic commentary. I was literally purposefully saying things I knew you would correct or tease or laugh at and nothing. I was waiting for a 'smartass' or a 'there's a reason behind everything' explanation or anything science related. But there was nothing."

Her face was blank. It took her a second to catch up. Blinking slowly, she shook her head, eyebrows furrowed, all emphasis on the word. "Why?"

Her tone was truly confused. It was like she, in her heart of hearts, for the life of her, could not believe he was concerned.

"Y/N you're my friend," he chided. "Why wouldn't I be?"

She averted her gaze. Her voice was barely above a whisper. "I don't know."

"Look," his voice was soft. "I know you know everything and you know my mannerisms and micro-expressions and you know when I'm lying and whatever else 'cause you're a genius psychologist. But is it really that hard to believe that, after all the time we've known each other, I know you a little too? That I saw you for once instead of you always seein' me?"

"I think you're the only person who sees me."

The words leaked out before he thought to analyze them, tone lower than a whisper.

"Well I can't seem to look at much else."

He had never felt such potent silence. Did he just fuck up majorly? They just sat, on the floor, eyes glued to each other like twenty year old dried cement. He didn't think he could move away if he tried.

"I see you now," she whispered.

"What do you mean?"

"Blue," she breathed. "Your eyes are so blue. I don't... think I've ever seen that shade of blue."

It happened exponentially slowly, but the closer her face got to his, the more his chest felt like it was going to burst in the best way possible. As if liquid light poured into his lungs, inflating his chest and igniting every nerve with adoration.

Her lips hovered over his so lightly it was as if it wasn't even happening, like her affection was a ghost. But it was happening, and he could feel it. He could feel the softness in her lips and the smell of the rum she drank as they combined into the wondrous dual sensation that permeated throughout his brain.

They weren't kissing by any stretch. Their lips were hardly touching. However, in that moment, he was at her mercy. He was prepared to bend the laws of nature to her will if she would allow the continuation of this feeling for even a fraction of a second more.

Until it stopped and she waned away like the moon bidding adieu to the morning sky.

Her voice shook. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't... it's-"

"No. It's not okay. It's not okay."

He leaned back, examining her face. She looked confused and embarrassed and scared.

"Y/N, it's fine. It's okay, seriously, don't worry about it."

"I'm sorry, I'm... I'm drunk and I'm disinhibited and it's affecting my judgement and making me impulsive. I'm sorry."

He couldn't be exactly sure, but it sounded as if she was trying to convince herself more than she was trying to convince him.

Neither of them moved a muscle.

"Do you want me to leave?" he asked.

She was silent, frozen. It reminded him of a past conversation about the fight or flight response.

Bucky stood up and offered his hand to the woman sitting on the floor in front of him. "Here."

She took it gingerly and stood up with him before wide eyes stared into his apologetically.

"Please don't feel bad," he pleaded. "Barely anything happened."

"Still..."

"Why don't you just get some sleep and we can talk tomorrow. I promise it won't seem like such a big deal when you're sober."

She nodded but they both remained motionless, hands still together. He knew they needed to let go, but her hand didn't move, and she just kept looking into him.

"Okay," she whispered.

She walked him to the door, hand still in hand, and until he was forced to let go of her to open it. He stepped, ever so slowly, out of her room and onto the grass outside. He looked up at her, the doorway between them suddenly feeling like worlds of distance. They stood on opposite sides of the open door like statues. Bucky didn't know what to do and he wasn't sure what to say.

He settled on a, "Goodnight."

He tried not to make it sound so weak and timorous but he failed entirely. He didn't want to leave her like this. Guilty and alone. God knows he knew what it felt like.

Her voice was dry and quiet. "Goodnight."

He wasn't sure when the door shut or which one of them had shut it. The only thing he was sure of was the feeling of formidable regret pooling in his stomach.

On one hand, there was regret for letting her lean in and get so close because now he was scared that their dynamic was ruined and worried that Y/N felt awful. On the other hand, there was regret that he just let her pull away. Regret that he didn't lean in more and shamelessly drown in her. Regret that he didn't unapologetically suffocate himself with the softness of lips, the inebriating smell of rum on on her tongue, and the utterly bewitching taste of her he was sure would follow.

He wasn't sure what he felt, to be honest. He was a muddle of emotions of which he had no idea how to sift through. Momentarily, he wished he was drunk so he wouldn't have to think so hard. Then, he remembered the saying, "drunk words are sober thoughts," and he was damn glad he was stone cold sober; he could only imagine the things he would say to her if he was drunk.

This lead him to pondering, it got the gears in his brain turning. It made him wonder. Maybe... just maybe... if drunk words were sober thoughts, then what if drunk actions were sober desires?

Thinking like this could cause him read the situation completely differently. Thinking like this could make him read the situation in such a way that conceived the slightest sliver of hope for emotions gone repressed. Hope is dangerous...

Hope is dangerous, so Bucky shoved it down into the deepest cavern of his brain, the very same cavern where his feelings for her resided. It was a monster in a cave, growling and hissing menacingly. Intensely.

It scared him, this intensity. It scared him so much that the only way he could fall asleep was by thinking about the way James Buchanan sounded when she said it with a winsome smile.

delicate taglist: ​@bakugouswh0r3 @thefridgeismybestie @strivingforelegance @ilovespideyyy @xpurpleglitter @bluelakeee @darkacademic2 @nickkie1129 @eclipsedplanet @paradisedixon @crazy-beautiful @coffee--writes @lilithknight1111 @buckybarnesishot310 @softladyhours @alwayssandy @quxxnxfhxll @those-sea-green-eyes @hero-ically @devilswaldorf

[sly-merlin]

KILLING ME- 14

pairing : law student!reader + yuta

genre : (fluff)  angst , mafia au/ arranged marriage au.

warnings of this chapter : cursing, mention of drugs, character death.

words : ~4k

summary :

“life’s never fair y/n. realise it as soon as you can . it is the only secret for living a regretless life.”                                  

or            

“ curiousity got the cat hitched”

K.M masterlist

K.M 13

TAGLIST : @kpop-choco @moon-yuta @kawaiiayasan @btm-taeyong @exfolitae @lanadreamie @cheersskznct ​​ @hyuckiesgf ​​ @theworld-accordingtocasey ​​@simplybree

@yiyi4657 @sorrywonwoo @sillywinnergladiator   @minejungwoo @leesalts @mal-nakamoto23 @ro2424 @itlittlefangirl @nctzens-world @bl–ankhaeji @jeaneteflo @nuoyii @bralessmermaid @minhoseyeliner @tyongpoetry @swimmingkpopblog @jkjkseo @orphicmoon @floralescapes

A/N : this chapter marks the celebration of this blog surpassing 600 followers! thank you so much for all the support! also for minor readers, the sfw versions of nsfw chapters are given at the end of the masterlist so check those properly before reading.

•••••••••••••

y/n! Are you sleeping?”

Registering his words, you replied in a groggy voice,“What the fuck do you want?”

“Your phone. I left mine in the medical room. I need to call Mark right now.” with some authority, he spoke.

Whining loudly, you fell back on the bed. It was only due but flailing your arms and legs like a kid in a toy store, you let out a screech full of annoyance, cursing your fate.

Were you really going to babysit him now?

"Have you suddenly lost your hearing? Stop with this sick attitude and open the door."

A puff of air left your nose, your chest moved rhythmically with your stomach and you relaxed your arms beneath your head, eyes fixed at the fan above and ears ringing with his voice. He kept calling you and after a number of shouts, you started humming to distract yourself, afraid that you'd end up helping him otherwise. That was something, naturally, you were not interested in. Last time he had ignored your voice and now nature had presented you with an opportunity to return the favour. Just with a bit less flavour.

"Are you dead?"

"Hmmm. To you, yes I am." Mumbling, you yawned and pushed yourself up to reach your side table and fishing out your earphones from the bottom drawer, you untangled them and fixed them comfortably in your ear, hiding yourself underneath the sheets.

Sonata no.14 instantly transported you away from the noise and the stress that was your unwanted husband, yuta. The smile playing on your lips widened as you realised that you were his only mode of communication at the moment.

But You were going for a nap. Until then, he could wait. And thrash. And cry. Or die.

Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you rotated the handle of the door to walk outside but your little trip was interrupted when your body collided straight into a wall. No. The obstruction was too soft for a wall.

Opening your eyes properly, you saw yuta standing stiff. Surprised at the sudden appearance, you immediately stumbled back and in hurry, hit your spine on the wooden door. The glare of his eyes, that always spoke more than you could comprehend, coupled with a clenched jaw, was not a very pleasant sight for sure yet you found it harder to dart your own eyes away from him.

"Your phone" he seethed, breathing deeply.

"Huh?" You croaked out.

He raised his brow and in an instant, the previous scenario played like a short movie in your head. Snapping your head down, you regarded his leg with pity. He obviously noticed it immediately but seemed to ignore it and refrained from saying anything. Good for you, you thought.

"Are you deaf?"

Your furrowed brows met his eyes and with a roll of his own, he picked up his finger to force his demand but you managed to walk back inside your room before he could've done that.

Your back faced him as you contemplated your options while slowly stretching your arm to reach for your phone on the other side of the bed.

should you even be giving him your phone?

You had more trust in Taeyong than the man you shared a roof with so there was no way you were doing that.

Unbeknownst to you, yuta was watching your movements intently and the way you bobbed your head, he knew you were scheming something so he decided to be polite for a moment. Only until you were needed. Or your phone was needed.

Once the phone was in your hand, another thought crossed your mind.

"Wait. Where is the house phone?" Crossing your arms, you asked him slyly, already knowing the answer

"You fucking never got it installed. It's still in its stupid package" he seemed rather impatient.

"And you could've called reception through the door telecom. He would have phoned Mark for you. These rich apartments certainly have more hospitality tha-

"I CAN'T GO AROUND DISTRIBUTING AN UNDERGROUND CRIMINAL'S CONTACT NUMBER TO EVERYONE"

He inhaled and exhaled and you just watched until he opened his eyes again, hand reaching out to you.

"Chill. I've every right to be sceptic especially when you are the one asking for it."

Finding Mark's number on your phone, you called him.

Yuta's hand threaded through his rough hair as he noticed what you were trying to do.

"Hey mark!" Your chirpy voice resounded in the room and yuta was sure this was some different spirit speaking. You sounded too bubbly for the way you were investigating him just a second ago.

"Yes yes. His phone exactly.i don't trust him enough to hand over my phone so that's why I'm calling you myself. Just hurry up if you can or you might have to clean up a dead body in the next few hours."

With that you cut the phone. Without meeting yuta's gaze and resting your hand on the handle, you mumbled,

"He'll be here in an hour."

You were about to close the door when he stopped it with the palm of his hand, alerting you with the force.

"Tell him to get some food too."

And limping, he retired back, to the couches.

Sighing, you messaged mark. Had it been for something else, you'd have ignored but your own stomach had signalled you that it needed some good food so you chose not to fight against your own body.

Now, only the taste of the food could decide how many days you were going to tolerate that barbaric human.

"Are you still going to that stupid internship?" Johnny hesitantly murmured from your desk chair while taking big bites from the plate.

"It's not stupid please! I’m just waiting for them to actually pay attention to my awesome capabilities so they can transfer me to the main branch. This is not bad either but”, you stopped to lick your forefinger and tasting the sauce, continued, “but I really wanna go into the criminal unit. That’s where the actual fun is. As long as i’m being paid decently, i’ll suffer with the stupid research work here.”

“With the tongue as sharp as yours, I think you should be getting ready for a demotion instead” he laughed, showing you his fake bunny teeth in the most annoying and childish way.

“Ha ha ha ha. Some well wisher you are! Thank you so much for looking out for me but I'll be fine. Who knows the gatekeeper’s pay package is more than me. So it’d be a win-win in that case too I guess?” when you did a drum roll with your chopsticks to stress upon your point, he laughed harder.

"So being broke is the new black?" Rolling his eyes, he dragged out, "I swear you kids don't know how this world works."

"And you, grandpa of the century, knows?"

"I'm aware of what I need for my survival and from what I've learnt, you can either take risks or look for job security. In your case, " he fake coughed, "where the proportions of risk taking have already exceeded the acceptable limit, a job security is the best and safest option to choose."

"And that would justify my greed and desire to work for the biggest company of this city."

"Kun. The security you need and the independence you seek would be given by kun. Chois are hmm how to say? Cheap? Yeh cheap. They have no work ethics. "

"Have you worked with them, johnny?"

"No. I'm ju-

"Then was your ex a choi?" You saw his eyes comically and cutely widening at your remark.

"No. My ex wasn't a choi and that's not what I'm saying and you know that."

"Oh. So your ex wasn't a choi. Then a lee? Kim? Im? Oh my god! Look at your cheeks seo!" You dragged out. He shook his head as you kept wiggling your brows at him.

"She was a kim but that doesn't mean I would hate all kims dude. That's baseless and stop ignoring the topic. I want you to apply in Kuns. It's the best option. Do it as soon as you-

"Yeah yeah we'll see about that. First take that bitch back. I can't even nap in his presence. "

"Umm. Yeah. You gotta tolerate him. And besides he's injured. Injured yuta is like a gun without a bullet. He's gonna shout for a day or two and then peace out. He'll be sleeping and reading in his room and you won't even know if he's alive or not."

"Now that's bullshit. What is he going to do here anyway? I hope he can hop himself on one leg because even if the sun rises from the north, I am not going to do a single task for him. He can die hungry , for all I care.”

“Do you think you can endure him for some tasty dinners?”

Clicking your tongue, you quipped, “Do you really think you can buy me with a few homemade meals?”

Day 1

Yes. you were sold. The moment the tasty noodles had melted in your mouth, you knew you had no dignity. And you were indeed ashamed of yourself.

Earlier, Renjun had called you to inform you that he had delivered the food and medicines for yuta and had left your dinner box but he had failed to mention the special and endearing note that was pasted on the glass box. In the curvy letters, it read bitchy piglet and you swore the only person you’d be killing before yuta would be jaehyun. But you were going to use jaehyun to build up your tolerance instead.

When you went out to clean your dishes, he was playing some game on his phone, excitement evident from the way he was laughing every other second. Maybe if he remained occupied, he would not be so insufferable.

Day 3

"Oyii! Oyii!"

No. You were wrong. He was very very much insufferable.

At midnight, his voice echoed, disturbing your sleep. You cursed at the cool atmosphere that had prevented you from using the air con which otherwise would have blocked his annoying screeches. But it seemed like bad luck wanted to change its name to y/n instead. With your name being called like a broken record, it was a fight between you and him that you were not going to lose. Shuffling to your side, you covered your ears with the other pillow and tried to drown out the annoyingly demanding and hoarse voice. There was no way you were giving him the satisfaction of having any power over you. He could cry for all he liked!

“What the fuck do you want at this hour?”

Attempting a glare at him through sleepy lids, you spewed with irritation. Unlike you, he was very much awake, breathing with the sole purpose of making you question your whole existence.

“Pillow” scratching his non-existent beard, he mumbled.

Your nostrils flared and jaw clenched at such inconvenient command.

“You summoned me for a pillow? A pillow that can normally be found on a person’s bed? Can you please rectify your demand or did I just simply hear something wrong?”

The opened curtains and the moonlight that drenched the room was the only source that illuminated his face for you and even with drooping eyes, you could see how serious he was and yet you couldn't hold your tongue back because he simply deserved every shit you bestowed him with.

“Turn the lights on and count the pillows on my bed! And when you are done, get me some pillows from your room.” he simply stated.

“Why should i give you my pillow? I need them!”

“Because I don't use a pillow and I need it asap!”

“Then why do you suddenly need one? To disturb my sleep? Oh that makes sense.” and suddenly, your eyes had synced with your body to side with your fight mode.

“I need them for elevating my leg. The bandage is too tight and it’s not comfortable.”

“Then why don't you walk out of the room and get some cushions for yourself!” you raised your volume.

“Because my leg is in pain and i’m unable to get up? What makes you think I'm dying to see your ugly face at this time of the night. I dont wanna have nightmares of you as well but i can't help it ok!”

“you should have kept them near you. And who are you calling ugly hmm? You poop fac-

“Okay scream for all you want! But get me a pillow when your battery dies down!”

“What the fuck d- are you covering your ears? Wow ways to be generous!”

Stomping your foot, you left the room to get the hardest cushion on the couch.

“Here! Next time call Mark if you want anything. Don’t raise your voice ever again to call me because unlike you, i have work in the morning and hence I need some sleep..”

Just when you were about to leave after shoving the cushion in his hand, he spoke up again,

“This is damn hard! I asked for your pillow specifically and not th- AHH!”

A scream left him as you harshly removed the support , leaving his leg to painfully meet the mattress.

“How about you fix your attitude before fixing your leg?” suggesting, you dropped the cushion on the floor and left.

He didn't call you after that. Nor that you cared. However, the sleep in your eyes somehow vanished. Dancing on your sides didn’t help. Neither did drinking a glass of water. So, with a groan, you listened to your conscience and picked up your extra pillow that was sadly too perfect for your enemy.

Padding to his room, you tried your best to scrutinise and hearing his heavy snores, you placed the pillow right under his thigh and the cushion under his calf. Scoffing at his sleeping figure, you internally groaned to remind yourself that you hadn't done it for him. It was just a debt. For the blanket he had once covered you with. Nothing more and nothing less.

Day 5

You just wanted him out of your hair. He was just being a load on your head. At first, only the work was kicking your ass, then jungwoo was kicking you like a punching bag for an hour straight and adding to your distress was yuta.

"I'm not your maid! Stop piling up the dishes for me. I've had enough mercy on you. From today onwards, get a cleaner for yourself or buy disposable cutlery. I'm not going to clean after you!"

With a roll of his eyes, he had ignored you.

And so did you. Pasting a warning note on the sink tap, you had left for the library with a dying hope that maybe the kitchen would be spotless on your arrival or you'd be dialing some numbers in the evening.

For someone who despised the solemn atmosphere of libraries, you had successfully spent 11 hours in the said hellish room. It was 11 p.m and you wanted to sleep, more than anything but here you were, waiting for yugyeom so he'd just pick you up for a good drinking session that you were dying to have.

Fortunately, you weren't the only one who had missed living these past days. Everyone, for different reasons, was suffering so you felt a little less bad for yourself even though you knew your troubles were far more grave than their academic burdens.

"Wake up shorts" someone whispered in your ear. Squirming on your seat, you whipped your head in your sleepy state and found jungkook caressing your head, goofily smiling at you.

"I thought you wanted to hang out till the next morning" air quoting the last words, he picked up your bag.

"Yeah. Let's go. I'm all ready for a night full of vodkas." You yawned out.

"Definitely. No. You are going home. We can have a small get together me and yuggy are done with our final project." He dragged you out into the parking lot.

" I feel like it's been years since we got drunk together. You are never here anymore!" You whined at him, complaining your heart out.

"I will be. Soon. Then we can celebrate your little choi job as well."

"Oh please. Don't even mention it. If I had penny for every time they rolled their eyes at me, I'd be richer than your parents kook." You huffed out and as his gentle laugh surrounded you, you closed your eyes resting your back against the seat, expecting to be up by the time he'd park.

But the next day, you woke up tangled in the sheets of your bed, unaware of the events of the previous night.

When you had warned yuta about the dirty dishes, you hadn't expected him to fill the corners of the kitchen with disposable containers. It looked like you had missed a whole drama while sleeping in the library. The kitchen was shining except for the new utensils. But as long as you were not babysitting him, you were fine with anything. You didn't want to jinx your relief, however, you were glad you would be able to get some work done. finally.

You had spoken too early for your own good. Just when you sat down to write your paper, passionate and enthusiastic howls of that man pierced through your earphones and once again, you opened the window and hopped outside, in the balcony, ready to drown him out. Sipping on your lemonade, you gaped at the scenery the not so distant traffic provided you with and somehow, your thoughts wandered to the only person these horns reminded you of. Johnny.

What are you doing? Your fingers hovered over the text but once again, you deleted the message, declaring it to be too childish for someone as mature as him. Maybe you were just being silly. Maybe you were not. But who was going to put a stamp on your maybe?

Tears pricked your eyes as the harsh words of your senior thundered in the room. He kept shouting and you had no option than to consume each and every word he directed at you. Even if you were being insulted in front of your twenty other co-workers, staying quiet was the best option, you ascertained. so along with your saliva, you gulped your explanations down your throat.

Howsoever unconscious, you were still in the wrong. There was no excuse as to why you had mailed the wrong bills, apart from the headache that was caused by the person possibly lying on the sofa and watching t.v back home. No matter how much you tried to run away from his existence, he had somehow managed to let himself inside your head.

Glaring at the kid who asked for his turn on the park swing, you pushed yourself a little higher, letting the wind greet your stinging eyes as it hit your face in waves. Your phone buzzed in your pocket and you chose to ignore jungwoo for a day as it was the time, you decided, to let all the lessons that the past few months had taught you sink into your mind, to bleed into your soul so you won’t ever be able to deviate from them. Ever.

Only if that was so easy. You knew blaming others for your problems was no solution but trivialising them by not paying heed wasn't a smart move either.

When you reached home, your frustrations had died down. So when yuta simpered and pointed towards your empty container, telling you how he had already finished your supposed dinner, you simply rolled your eyes at him, robbing him of whatever he wanted to achieve by riling you up. Heating up the water, you were about to open the noodles packet when yeong called you.

You stared at the shattered phone screen in disbelief as the endless tears ran down your cheeks. As you verbalised the words to yourself again, your body met the floor with a thud.

Jungkook. Drugs. No more.

Three words had silenced the screeches in your head and your mind busied itself in rejecting what you had heard for it had to be a lie. But what how were you going to ignore the heart wrenching screams that yeong had let out. How were you going to dismiss the truth.

How were you all going to accept it?

••••••••••••••••

next update: Some day between 5-7 June.