#whooooaa this was a long one

[peachjuiceretriever]

exhales thru my nose. i really needed to put these feelings SOMEWHERE and i apolgoize. please ignore i am venting this is a vent post i repeat this is a personal vent post. you are not obligated to read.

SIGHS... i dunno. it fuckin. it wasnt even just he was nice and sweet i felt so comfortable sharing my kinks with him and he was literally open to anything and that was so nice... sex is very important to me in a relationship so having someone who was just as adventurous as me... and he thought everything i did was cute... called me cute all the time... even when he came to visit and saw me completely naked in real life... he saw every inch of my body and he didnt just continue to love me it felt like he loved me even more... it felt like once he saw me that was when he knew i was the one... at least... thats what it felt like to me... thats how i felt... he was always so interested in everything i had to say, so excited for every opportunity i had to grow.. ughhh i fucking!!! bangs my head on a wall. why did you do this to me... i remember expressing to you how scared i was that you'd choose someone else, that someone else would catch your eye and you'd look back at me and realize im not worth it- the time, the effort, the energy it takes to love me... and you told me "why would i ever do that? they're not you" and i fucking believed you!!!!!!! and we... we fucking planned !! on moving in together!!! i was genuinely ok with moving to a different state, starting a new life just for you because you had stuff already established down there!!! and now i....

i hate the way i want to be loved. how fucking selfish of me to want someone to hold my hand to go through journeys with me... i hate being a traumatized child in an adult body. the way my parents set me up for failure... i hate how i went through therapy and thought i had all of this under control now... the fact that my brain can go "you need to love yourself, nobody can do it for you." but it doesn't take away the pain. "this too shall pass" but it doesn't soothe the ache in your throat. if you dont break the cycle it will continue to repeat itself this feeling is only temporary it is what it is and you can't change it sometimes things are bad before they get good and i know i know i know i know but it hurts now goddamn it it hurts now and it'll hurt tomorrow and the next day and every single fucking time i think about the airport, or his state is mentioned on tv, or i drive by a fucking starbucks!!!!!!!!!

[brooklynislandgirl]

Married/Ship Meme for Beth and Marion :)c

Married Life Meme || Accepting

leaves their dirty clothes on the floor

Tatters of clothes like forgotten steamers of ribbons litter the ground. Darkly wet and sticky not even close to drying in the humid heat. A few lay there, trampled in the victory that had snatched them in the first place, others consigned to the earth in an effort to escape.

Further into the thickets of cypress and moss cloth is occasionally replaced with flesh for all the same reasons. It’s a grisly scene to come across, the implications of it both nauseating and fearsome.

Startled birds take loud wing, squawking warnings to their fellows but the swamp swallows that up. What’s worse though is the spectral echo of laughter and rough, ragged shrieks no human mouth can make. This is how legends are born. How they seed themselves into the earth and shadow below, and breathe just under the surface of algae-green carpeted pools.But then again, who ever said hide-and-seek wasn’t a full-contact sport had never Beth and her rougarou. 

forgets to run the dish washer

“I gotta dishwasher, sha,” she says. “M’own two hands.”Beth lays curled up on the couch, wrapped in a sheet as she watches Marion from across the room. The woman sounds a little offended and she’s not sure why. It was meant innocently, not as a social commentary on the way she lives. 

“Can I help a’least?”“Non.” The word is a little harsher than it’s meant and rests, quivering in the air. And she knows guilt is gnawing on Marion even though Beth has told her a hundred times that there’s nothing to be ashamed of. While she doesn’t walk in two worlds like Marion does, she understands it, otherwise she’d never even think to have made the offer.The bites will heal in a few hours, less if she speeds up the process, but the wound here only continues to atrophy.

pumps gas for the car

Marion resists the urge to light another cigarette as she sits in the driver’s seat, her thumbs tapping out a staccato rhythm on the steering wheel that has nothing to do with music and everything about the tension making camp between her shoulder blades.Outside, Beth is pumping gas and chirping away in undimmed enthusiasm for La Fete Louisiane up in Baton Rouge. She flits between asking for the dozenth time who Bienville and Évangéline are as if she can’t keep it in her head ~and bless that girl, maybe she can’t ~ and wondering if they should have made their own tintamarre. She talks about the presentations from the Houma Nation and asks after the origin of zydeco music, if Marion’s ever played pétanque. And maybe the last straw is when she talks about the first time she’s ever eaten crawdads, because she mentions the Other One.

It’s enough to make the beast snap and she does everything she can to keep it caged. “Ya done yet?”

drives when they’re going somewhere

And she’s still talking when she climbs back into the car; she might be adorable but Beth certainly doesn’t have the sense God gave a goose. That’s all youth and the undiminished innocence she manages to hold onto despite everything. And just maybe, Marion admits when she puts the truck into gear and pulls away from the gas station, she envies the little woman for that. And her man even more, though she avoids thinking about that. She breathes in the first tainted breath of the cigarette she promised herself and then switches on the radio to put a little distance between those bleaker thoughts and it’s as though someone, somewhere’s cursed her.

Beth sings along, to Marion. To the road. To the open road. She’s not very good at it but she makes up in volume and enthusiasm what she lacks in skill. One little hand comes to rest on Marion’s shoulder. “Love is in the water, love is in the air. Show me where to look, tell me, will love be there? Will love be there? Teach me how to speak, teach me how to share...”

She doesn’t seem to notice the way Marion’s body stiffens or the not quite affectionate look slanted her way and carries on with the impromptu serenade, right against Marion’s ear now.

“Beth?”

“Whoa…heaven let ya light shine down. Whooooaa, heaven let ya light shine down…yeah?”

“Go to bed wit dat.” Pointed, sharp.

The singing stops. There’s silence for a few precious minutes and then…“Is dat like one come on or one bad thing?”

For fuck’s sake.

“Eiddah way, pass a good time, yeah?” And oh how she giggles bright as sunshine.

rearranges the furniture

Weeks later and the hairs on the back of Marion’s neck stand as she makes her way back to her place. There’s sweat in the air and the slightest rasp of heavy breathing and she was not expecting company. Except that she should have. Under all of it is the smell of sandalwood, cinnamon and those flowers from across the sea.

When she makes her way inside there’s the little witch. Bare feet balanced on the balls of her toes, arms stretched out and straining as she fights a new couch. She’s losing ground as she tries to push it into place, and that alone demands the question how she got it here in the first place, how she’d moved the old one on her own and a moment later she’s on her knees with a loud gasp of surprise.

Only then does she seem to notice Marion and grins. “Su’prise?”

falls asleep with the TV on

So maybe the couch isn’t the worst. It’s certainly soft enough and the only memories attached to it are the ones they���re making. And maybe Marion doesn’t mind so much that someone so small manages to take up so much room, both physically and emotionally. The book she’d been reading out-loud falls to the floor and Marion doesn’t bother to reach for it, her hands are otherwise occupied. She’ll never really admit it but she likes the feel of Beth’s unruly locks beneath her fingers and if she moves, the girl was likely to wake up and realise just how late it was.Tells herself that she’ll send Beth away tomorrow, tell her that she can’t keep coming over when she pleases, that she doesn’t need the poetry and the softness. She’ll say a hundred cruel things, only half of which Beth will understand; the language is easy but maybe the witch is made of Teflon because no clue seems to stick.

The same promise Marion has made a handful of times, same promise she knows she’ll break when she drags the old afghan over those tiny shoulders.

gets to use the bathroom first

And it’s singing again that Marion wakes up to, this time from the bathroom where the door is open and bleeding steam into the rest of the house. The smell of coffee competes with soap, bacon with something softer, more delicately layered.

“But when we rise, is like strawberry fields. If I treated ya bad, ya bruise m’ face. Couldn’ love ya more, ya got a beautiful taste….”

And fists clench in the sheets. Half convinced that maybe she’s not as sweet and innocent as she appears, and is in fact, trying to kill Marion a little bit at a time. It’s almost insidious and that makes it all the more appealing.

With a half-swallowed groan, Marion drags herself up out of bed and chases the song.

decides the temperature for the ac/heater

She never complains about the heat. No matter how humid ~the kind where you shower on Monday and are still wet come Friday~ the air gets, no matter how much vitality it saps from every living thing for miles, Beth delights in it.She tells Marion stories about sandy beaches and the murmur of the ocean under skies that are endlessly blue. She talks about thriving jungles full of exotic plants and taking what you wanted to eat if you can reach up and grab it. She talks of riding the sea, compares Snowballs to Shave Ice. She talks of old friends and relatives, though never her parents. To hear her talk is to imagine she was born right out of the waves and given over to this fabled hero of a man who looks just like her. Marion has suffered graciously through endless pictures of him.

Once in a while, she says she misses snow, the only thing she ever really liked about New York aside from the people she knew. Says she prefers the bayou because it’s less crowded and quieter and it never really gets cold.

She doesn’t really know, does she, that sometimes the chill has nothing to do with the weather, and how heat is leeched out of the body as it cools under the snap of jaws. If she’s very, very lucky, she’ll never find out.

sets up holiday decorations

Days melt into one another, from spring to harvest. Days shorten in length until night becomes dominant and in the deeper parts, the glaring eye of the sun fails to thrive at all. Marion marks the passing of the seasons by what there is to hunt, and what grows. She doesn’t have much use for gourds that will only rot from the inside out, or trees pulled indoors and strung with lights and tinsel; proof against the long, hungry winter. Paper-hearts aren’t any substitute for the once-living kind.

But she indulges Beth because it’s harmless and it’s sweet and those are things that Marion isn’t so familiar with. And because trying to stop her is roughly like sifting through the Sahara with a child’s shovel and pail. She draws the line at matching costumes, though, even if it is Mardi Gras.

leaves the lights on

Marion asked about the lights, once. What she got was a tangled web of answers, all of which only made half sense. The fear of the dark had filled Beth since childhood, maybe before she’d ever left the womb. There were things that lived in it, a writhing mass of shadows. One in particular had singled her out and came to her in the night, stealing her ability to move, to think, to breathe. That even the smallest of lights could keep it away, or at least that’s what her brother had told her, which in turn, made it Gospel truth.

Marion’s not so sure. Some of the other things she’s said that her brother told her sometimes were wildly inaccurate if not flat-out wrong. But it seems to make the little witch feel safe in some ways. Makes her easier to find at night when she carries the lantern out to her grove.And maybe the one thing even the Rougarou isn’t so keen on snuffing out is that little glimmer of hope that radiates out from her.

uses the bathroom with the door open

Standing on ceremony wasn’t a thing for them, that sense of privacy used up after the first two months they’d known each other. She says body functions are all natural and that skin was the first clothing and weird things like that, and Marion is pretty sure it’s all just an excuse. The one thing though that she’s always hated is having her bare legs showing.So she waits.Perfectly motionless until she hears the sink running and the sound of bristles scraping teeth.  Leans a shoulder in the door way and takes a good long look.The scar is pretty bad, jagged in its pattern and runs from the back of her knee to just above the ankle on an otherwise shapely limb. There’s a marked lack of muscle that leaves it shrivelled, stunted in comparison. How strange it was. Marion knows how much of Beth has been consumed, and how savage the tearing of flesh, almost down to the bone. She’s watched as slowly the witch’s body has rebuilt itself time and again without blemish, without anything more than a sweetly muffled sigh or an agonised cry that becomes something else entirely {the girl’s wiring is off, the way pain and pleasure for her are so intertwined}, and she eventually dances away without any evidence of the feeding. So why was that different.She almost feels guilty again when she looks up and sees Beth staring at her from the cracked mirror, green eyes for once bearing a light of anger uncommon to her. 

She speaks in her Haole tongue, not the pidgin so reminiscent of Creole. “It’s from before. Nothing I can do now can fix it. Nothing anyone else can do can fix it. A reminder that all magick comes with a price and it’s usually paid in blood.” From a limb.From a brother.From her soul itself.“Excuse me, mele, I need to get dressed.”And she shuts the door. 

fixes the plumbing (or calls the plumber)

The miasma of piss, sweat, and fear vies with the natural wet decay of the bayou. The Rougarou had been patiently hunting it down for most of the night, toying with its source, baiting it. Had chased it to ground...and dropped the scent for mere moments. Thick saliva dripped down its wicked teeth, carrion breath hot and fetid pushing out from the spaces between. It snarled at this new development, unhappy by any stretch of the imagination. Had chased the pitiful creature into the witch’s domain, and that warding around her grove had interrupted the prey’s tracks.But even so, it couldn’t soak up her words as she condemned the cowering, pitiful mass of regrets and weapons.“I know what ya huntin’ for. An’ dis is where ya vigil against da dark ends.” She raises her blade but doesn’t strike the Hunter with it, merely points with it’s sharp tip. Her other hand contains a roughly man shaped doll, made of bleached bone, tanned sinew. “When it’s done wi'ya, wha’evah is lef’ gonna get scattered across da swamp as a warnin’.” She snapped a limb of the effigy and bone shatters in the man, his wail loud. “Any of ya kind dat makes it into da bayou gonna meet a similar fate.” Another snap, another limb and the man collapses to his knees, hands in fists supporting his weight.He tries to plead with her but her face is a mask as luminescent and impassive as the moon above the canopy. “This place is my home, an’ da beast belongs t’ me. T’ink of me as very jealous an’ vindictive.” Another limb, another scream. “An’ unnerstan’ dat I’m da last t’ink ya eyes will evah set upon.”

She continues to break the hunter, bit by bit, occasionally using her powers to keep him conscious and a live to prolong the pain and the suffering.

The hunter manages to almost make it to sunrise.

[baja-blastoise]

1-14 on the hufflepuff ask ? (totally understand if you don't want to do all of those lol)

Hey you got it anon, thanks for the ask!!▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪1. How long have you known your oldest friend?- There's this one girl I've known since like kindergarten tbh2. Smells that remind you of home?- smells like celery n stuff cooking on the stovetop for like soups n stuff, also i live in texas so when it's hot and it rains, the smell of nighttime during the summer in texas, when i bury my face into pooter (my cat), and this is cheesy but when i lean into my boyfriend lol3. What movie can you watch over and over again?-I have the attention span of an ant so i use movies more as background noise, but does it count if i know all the words to the first spongebob movie?4. Do you have any nicknames?- lot's of people just call me pheebs5. How was your day?-uhhh well I've been stressed about all sorts of stuff lately but I got up and ran at 7 this morning so I'm a lil proud of that so i think my days been okay, thanks for askin 😊6. Who do you wish was with you right now?- i'm clingy n i miss my boyfriend, I also want to see my friends rn (if ur reading this u knows who u are 👀), also idk where my cat is at he's in the other room somewhere 7. What are you too hard on yourself for?- hmmm i stress myself out about stupid things that i have no control over and i beat myself up about everything8. Do you believe in an afterlife?- yeah, I could go into detail but it'd be like an entire TED Talk or something9. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what animal would you create?- Whooooaa I've never thought about it, the first one i could think of is a corgi and a munchkin maybe? 10. Top 3 OTPs?- Mulder and Scully (X-Files) - Ben and Leslie (parks and rec)- Goldie and Rosie (animal crossing)Idk i don't rlly ship i guess buuut11. Do you like it when people play with your hair?- YESSSS 😍💯😍👌🏻👌🏻😫💯❤12. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?-I don't show it that much bUT I HAVE A LIST THERE'S NO TIME13. Do you have a secret talent? What is it?- Not sure what you mean by talent but i can do a tongue taco, i can untie knots, i can ask 100000 questions, forget what i was doing in .00001 seconds, and i can forget i have a living body and i'm real :)))14. What does your name mean?- i /thought/ i was named after the goddess Phoebe or maybe the bird but my mom told me a month ago that i was deadass named after Phoebe from friends so not only was i lied to my entire life but i also lied to everyone who ever asked (which is a shit ton of people)

[tigerlover16-uk]

Zeno has became rather controversial in this arc. so what is your opinion on him?

Honestly… I’m not completely sure what to make of him anymore.

I mean, I liked him at first. He had a neat design, he was simultaneously kind of adorable and yet creepy, and his interactions with Goku are interesting. As of this arc… I don’t know.

I mean, he presents a different kind of conflict I suppose. The guy is literally the top God of the multiverse and he could wipe out anyone just by raising his hand. There’s no punching this guy into submission to save the day, with him deciding to blow up any of the universes that don’t meet the standards that have been set for them everyone’s basically stuck, since none of the God’s feel like there’s much hope in reasoning with him.

It does raise a lot of questions, and leaves me curious about how the heck the Z fighters are going to make it out of this while saving the other universes aswell. Because there’s no way they’re not going to at least try to wish them back. Why have the super dragon balls involved if that’s not the case. I’m really curious to see where they go from there and how they manage to get the Zeno’s to agree to spare the universes afterwards.

I think it’s a good idea for the series to experiment with different kinds of antagonists, apart from straight up bad guys you have to punch and shoot with lazer beams and boom, the day is saved. Variety in the big threats is good and keeps things from getting too formulaic. The whole tournament is a bunch of heroes, a couple of rogues and a tiny handful of villains (Frost, Frieza) and just regular warriors who want to go about their business being thrown into a fighting ring and forced to fight for survival all because God is a careless child who doesn’t seem to put much value in the concept of life. That is pretty interesting as a concept, it’s suitably original for Dragon Ball at least.

When I think about it, Zen’o really is the most terrifying character in the entire franchise, just for how dangerous he is and how kind of messed up it is that someone with his mindset, a child who flicks planets into one another like marbles when he’s bored, is the king of the multiverse. Contrasted with a lot of his genuinely cute and childish mannerisms, and it just makes him all the more disturbing.

At the same time, I don’t really think he’s been used to his full potential yet. We had a slow burn build up to him and what kind of a threat he could pose from his introduction, through the Future Trunks saga, to the start of the universe survival saga. It worked pretty well, but for most of this saga he’s just been kind of in the background with the focus mostly being on the main cast and some of the other universe characters preparing for the tournament.

We see glimpses of him and Future Zen’o now and again, but we never spend a ton of time with the two on their own, I think there was only one episode where we got significant screentime with them and the Grand Priest before the tournament, and that was mostly about giving us glimpses into the various universes.

We don’t really get much into either of their mindsets, why they want to destroy the universes other than the idea that they’ve been wanting to do it for a while since most of them have fallen short on expectations. And honestly, other than just being the rulers of the pantheons of Deities I still don’t know what their actual duties include, especially since the Grand Priest comes off as more the one who actually gets things done.

They just seem weirdly detached from everything. Even Goku, who present Zen’o considers a friend, but he didn’t show much reaction when he was possibly killed, just some general interest in the stuff he and at times his son are doing in the tournament.

Which, alright, that all gives the sense that they, and probably the angels too, have a very alien mindset and don’t have a similar view of morality as we mortals do. That could be interesting, and is kind of appropriate for higher being type of characters. 

But thus far, nothing much has really been done with it other than Zen’o just generally being presented as a loose cannon who Goku or any character could unwittingly set off at any minute if they’re not careful, but that doesn’t really happen until the current saga.

The two of them have just been sitting around for the whole tournament going “Whooooaa!“ and generally acting like small children. Sometimes it’s cute, at times their dialogue gets really repetitive and can be annoying. Maybe that’s partly the point, and sometimes they can actually be charming, but it doesn’t always work and can come off as padding when they’re just stating the obvious.

I don’t even know what we’re supposed to think of them based on how the Zen’os are presented. On one hand, the fact that some careless children with no apparent value for the sanctity of life and the power to destroy all of reality are the gods of everything is terrifying, and I haven’t seen anything to really prove that the multiverse wouldn’t be better off without them. Maybe they’re supposed to be villains, but yet Toriyama did set up the whole friendship between Zen’o and Goku and depicted him initially as really just wanting a friend, which was treated as a really sweet moment when he was introduced to his future counterpart.

So… are we supposed to hope that Goku can somehow reform the two through his interactions and friendship with them, teach them the value of mortals and they’ll go on to be better, less destructive rulers? That could be interesting, and kind of fits for this franchise, but we haven’t really seen any sign that that’s the end game. The two have just been there hovering above everything, and Goku hasn’t had much interaction with them for a while.

Are they going to do a plot at some point where everyone rebels against the Zen’os and the Grand Priest? That could also be interesting, I guess, and would give us an interesting conflict about how the heck do you defeat someone who can just raise his hand and poof, you’re gone? But again, no real indication that’s where this is going.

So far, they really just feel like they existed to get the plot rolling here. I’m sure we’ll see where this is all going at the end of the tournament, but for now I really don’t know what to think.

They’ve committed some abominable acts, so I could see them being treated as villains. How exactly you would redeem them is a good question. Extreme Blue and Orange morality applies, so you can’t exactly judge them by the same standards you would a normal person, especially since they’re just children that didn’t know better and of course the stuff they pulled is going to happen if you give all the power in the universe to some small children and tell them they have to run everything, perhaps? Is that anywhere near good enough, even if the damage they did gets reversed and they do a better job going forward?

Or maybe they’ll just go with the whole Grand Priest being the real villain thing. I don’t know anymore.

There’s a lot to unpack about Zen’o, yet all of it just makes me confused about how I’m supposed to feel about him. I think the reason he’s so controversial is because the series, possibly deliberately, doesn’t seem to want to tell us what the heck we’re supposed to view him as and just leaves his actions and role rather ambiguous outside of the fact he’s really dangerous.

I’m reserving a lot of my judgement until I see how the current arc ends and what Zen’os role is going to be going forward, and we have a better idea of what we’re supposed to view him as. A villain, a neutral but deadly force, something else? Right now he just feels like a walking plot device, and depending on how things are executed going forward he could either be an interesting character in the long run, or just a waste.

[tomahawk-swing]

@rewrittentopixels  [x]

{✱};— “Oh hardy har har, So funny, such comedian, wow.” Amy dryly laughed at Dingo’s insult. Honestly, at this point she wasn’t too or even at all offended at most of Dingo’s banter towards her since she’s been around it so much.

However her smile of sarcasm turned genuine when she was handed the gift box. “Ah, thank you!” Amy in some small sense wondered if it was another one of Dingo’s carvings. When she opened it, she was happy to know that she was right! Even though she would have been tickled with just about any gift that was given to her, Amy really did admire Dingo’s carving skills.

“Whooooaa … “ She said as she held the keychain, letting it dangle by dainty yet sturdy chain itself.

“This is pretty awesome!” She knew that would probably inflate his ego a bit but she had to compliment it. “You’re carvin’s are always so nice!” Then she directed her attention back at the boy. “I’ve been meaning to ask since last year when you gave me the a carvin’ for my birthday, did you teach yourself or did someone teach you?”

Dingo could only grin at Amy’s retort. “My, my, no need to smother me in compliments. I’m already aware of how hilarious I can be.” He replied, a cheeky smirk stretched across his face. Oh, how much he loved this kind of banter. Amy always made the perfect partner for it.

His smile did turn a little smaller, but more genuine, once Amy took the box he had hurriedly packed. The wrapping was far less thought-out than the gift it contained, quite obviously.

“Ah, right ... I gave you some carving already last year.” He scratched his cheek in light embarrassement. “I hope it’s not too unoriginal, but I still think it’s better than buying you something that you might not even like, y’know ...”

“My dad taught me.” Nostalgia mingled with pride in his voice. “He was a billion times more talented than me, though. I still have a long way to go ‘til I can reach his level."

[silkysonia-blog]

Entertainment Video: Funny Buzzfeed Script- High School vs College You

Think Like A Girl

Skit #1

High School kid:

“Hey Goop-Sauce, since you’re the oldest, get some swishers during lunch and we will smoke during free-     block behind the atrium!”

High School Sonia:

“Ok but Mr. Dempsey could smell it on us last ti- OMG let’s try mango “flavor!

 College kid:

“Dude, the RA totally almost caught me, but guess who scored party favors!”

College Sonia:

“Hell yeah I can totally skip math 130 tomorrow!”

 Skit #2

High School kid:

“Did you hear how the teachers found a condom on the couch at the dance?! Everyone has been talking about it since Assembly!”

High School Sonia:

“That’s insane! I bet it was Khloe, she was totally the first girl in our grade to lose it right!”

 College Sonia:

(walks past a dorm door that has bra/underwear in front of it) :This was funny like 2 months ago…”

 Skit #3

High school birthday:

(classroom party and teachers makes everyone  sing happy birthday)

College birthday:

(wake up to a Magic Mike poster and king size Reece’s tape to dorm door)

 Skit #4

High School kids:

“I can’t believe we snuck out of Assembly and drank Pinnacle Whip and no one caught us! We are sooo badass.”

High School Sonia:

“I know! But this is sooo nasty, I almost drown during that shot.”

 College kids:

“Bro, I freakin’ raged lastnight, stayed up all night studying, and aced my final! Let’s draaaank!”

College Sonia:

“Hell yeah Beercales ( Beer-Heracles), but don’t give me Pinnacle. That’s all I puked up in High School. I’ll take that Fireball though!”

Think Like A Boy

Skit #1

High School boy:

“Bro, you know you need to nail at least one chick before college…”

College Guy:

“Yo a threesome with another dude isn’t that awkward, we just high-fived when we switched haha.”

Skit #2

High School boy:

“Bro, we can get laid. Just watch a ton of “Jersey Shore” and watch Pauly D!”

College Guy:

“Damn dude, I should work at Subway because I’ve been givin’ out plenty of footlongs!”

Cultural Changes

Skit #1

High School kids:

“Man, How I Met Your Mother is such a great show! They are never going to cancel this, it’s making a killing right now.  Is Robin dating… Kumar?! I wonder who will be hotter, The Mother or Robin?”

College kids:

“Barney’s job was fake?! Why does it sound like the mom… dies?! WFT it’s ROBIN!”

Skit #2

High School kid:

“Dude I’m so hungover… I just told my mom I’m sick hahaha I’m so bad.”

 College Sonia:

“Oh man, I’m so hung over I can’t even brush my teeth right now.”

College kid: “Take a morning shot, you’ll be just fine, girl!”

Skit #3

High School kids:

“Ew, vegetable juice!”

 College kid:

“Hell yeah, Bloody Mary’s anyone?”

College Sonia:

“Healthy alcoholism, people!”

Skit #4

High School kid:

“You always need Get Low, Lil Jon played at a dance! It’s the classics!”

College kid:

“Turn Down For What! Imma get TURNT!"

Skit #5

High School kid:

“I feel bad for Bruce Jenner, he is the only reasonable one on this show.

College kid:

(Picks up Vanity Fair, “Call Me Caitlyn”)

“So this what our parents felt like with Michael Jackson!”

Indian Jokes

Skit #1

High School kid:

“Hey, what are you doing right now?”

High School Sonia:

“Just chillin’, watching a Bollywood movie.”

High School kid:

“Whooooaa I forget you are Indian, you damn coconut!”

 College kids:

“So are you dot or feather?!”

“Your English is so good! How long have you been here?”

“Do you celebrate Christmas? Do you eat turkey on Thanksgiving?”

“So uh, Jasmine or Pocahontas?”

“Have you seen that Youtube video “Shit Indian Girls Say”?! Are you like that?”

 College Sonia:

“Cool it buddy, I’m from Nebraska.”