#whos the best at purple?

[vooshiplooz]

@whothebestatpurple

[i-made-a-bg3-blog]

Look, it’s not like Astarion intended on becoming a Harper, it’s just - well, burglary and pickpocketing are a little more difficult when you can’t enter homes without an invitation or go outside during the day, and he’s grown rather accustomed to a certain elevated lifestyle. There are other places he could turn to for money: the city owes him an estate and a title at the bare minimum. But, there’s something to be said for self-sufficiency, and, though he hates to admit it, he wouldn’t make it through three weeks as a noble without being bored out of his mind.

The Harpers need warm bodies (or cold ones, as it were) to rebuild their ranks after Orin’s doppelgangers, and Jaheira’s a savvy old crone who never learned to take no for an answer. She pinpoints Astarion’s two weak spots: a heavy coinpurse and kidnapped children, street kids, the kind no one would miss.

They’re decidedly amateurish criminals, and it doesn’t take him long to track them down and dispatch them, messily and painfully. Four children sit huddled in a cage, and Astarion knows he must look every bit the monster as he picks the lock with hands covered in gore, but they don’t shy away in fear when he opens the door. One of them slips his chubby little hand into Astarion’s and refuses to let go until they reach the safehouse. It’s…odd.

“Good work, Harper,” Jaheira tells him after, and Astarion makes it explicitly clear that he’s simply an independent contractor, an expensive one. 

Jaheira just smirks like the witch she is.

So he contracts. He infiltrates the Guild (and feels insulted when Nine Fingers doesn’t recognize him; he’d like to think he’s rather unforgettable), foils an assassination plot or three, even teams up with Minsc and a turncoat Thayan to stop a gaggle of Red Wizards from doing…whatever it is they do. It’s a good business, he supposes. A hero’s reputation is a small price to pay for a hero’s coffers.

Jaheira’s wise enough to know when to hang up her blades, and it makes her more of an insufferable busybody than ever, which - somehow - becomes Astarion’s problem. First, it’s his own cell, then suddenly he’s the field contact for four others. He’s dragged to the most dreadfully tedious logistical meetings imaginable. The only reason he agrees to any of it is that Jaheira can turn an offhand comment and a raised eyebrow into the kind of challenge that itches beneath Astarion’s skin. It should be all too familiar and just as unwelcome, that burning need to prove himself, but it’s not. It’s different, perhaps, when he isn’t being set up to fail.

Jaheira passes away peacefully in her sleep at the ripe old age of one hundred and ninety-two, and Astarion’s convinced he can hear her grumbling about that all the way from the Fugue Plane. She would have rather gone out fighting, but, privately, Astarion feels like she deserved something gentler than bleeding out on a battlefield. He never did tell her how much he admired her (though he doubts she would have appreciated such open sentiment: ‘I did not realize I looked so terrible that you’ve already started my eulogy.’), but she must have known. He thinks he’s really going to miss her.

Right up until the moment Rion is handing him a pin and leading him to a library full of dossiers and documents. Then, he’s ready to cross the Astral Sea just so that he can bring her back and kill her again. Independent. Contractor. What part of that did she not understand? 

He goes home and locks the door with the full intention of ignoring every Harper that comes knocking. But Harpers are nosy little shits, and after he nearly disembowels one who surprises him by breaking into his house just to tell him the most idiotic plan to dismantle a smuggling ring he’s ever had the misfortune of hearing, he realizes hiding isn’t going to be an option. Besides, Astarion cannot be privy to such levels of incompetence and sit idly by. 

So he helps. Provisionally. Just long enough to find a decent replacement, and then he can wash his hands of the whole thing.

Unfortunately, it’s not as easy a task as he had hoped. Every potential candidate lacks something: consistency, creativity, confidence, the common sense to understand Astarion’s eminently logical filing system. It takes him three decades to accept that not only is he excellent at the job, but that he enjoys it immensely. 

When they make him take a title, he chooses Spymaster. It suits him - dashing, mysterious, questionably moral, because he’s never been a hero, and it would be foolish to pretend that he is.

They all call him High Harper anyways.

[qiinamii]

I cannot describe with words how much joy the deltarune crossover drawings bring me it's my second favorite game after genshin and they look so cute the way you drew them for it aaaaaaaaaaa

thank you so much! undertale as a whole has my heart for a long time, and deltarune was one of the first games I ever get to experience since release (playing it and all!).

it's one of my favourite ideas to play around among all the genshin stuff I draw, meshing up what I hold dear together (just like the undertale crossover comic I did) and yeah! really ended up having fun entirely, hoping to do more next time around.

[shitpostingkats]

What if I told you. He. Was trans.

[shadowaj]

Bernie Brigade GO!!!

(posting some old bernadettas cuz I’m playing three hopes lol)

[stil-lindigo]

role reversal au featuring Ed who, in all possible universes, is in love with stede’s specific brand of lunacy ❤️ (get a print of this here!)

so the au goes like this: stede has his midlife crisis much earlier and starts a legacy as the Gentleman Pirate with his ragtag crew. They end up building a name for themselves, and surround themselves with a lot of baffling mystique. One day he loots a merchant ship with one Edward Teach on board who adopted a life on the sea after having to make a hasty escape from a port one fateful night. Edward takes one look at this frantic fumbling mess of a pirate captain and falls HARD. And...well. you can probably fill in the blanks after that.

[backjustforberena]

EVE BEST as DR. ELEANOR O'HARA Nurse Jackie - 2x08 "Monkey Bits"

[loubella77]

[paperglader]

I find it really funny and great how arlo is like a version of Imogen if she embraced her weirdness from the get go, and one detail that just kills me is the fact that arlo pulls SO MUCH.

Imogen: gay disaster, has been pining for +2 years and has not made a move (nor even is considering it), was dumped by pretty, thumb wars herself whilst the rest of her friends hook up in the other room.

Arlo: not even 2 episodes in and already has 2 fiancés + auggie flirting left and right with her and calling her pretty every chance he gets.

[pittsburghhockeybirds]

He really be 👉👈🥺

[flareboi]

what if purple never calls him dad

[molagboop]

I sketched a thing while I was up at an unreasonable hour.

[to-be-a-dreamer]

My favorite thing is when people are having a conversation and something wild happens around them but they just go back to talking like nothing ever happened

Headphone Warning: the audio is super loud for some reason idk why but turn your volume wayyyyyy down

I think this season has broken them

[cheriboms]

doctober day 4: light blue

OKAY HEAR ME OUT >_> i know its a bit of a stretch but my mind read the prompt and basically went 'something borrowed something blue' so. they <3

[gxlden-angels]

On today's episode of Holy Shit My Childhood Was Not Normal:

Kurtis Conner being thrown off by the girls'/boys' bibles with the random "Dream Girl" and "Grossology" passages and shit like that in them

[lyxchen]

I LOVE pink!!! I honestly can not understand how anyone could ever hate the color pink. It doesn't have to be your favorite color but do not tell me that you hate pink. Pink is so cool, it's so vibrant, it makes me So happy. I love wearing it, I love looking at it, I love drawing with it. I love pink skies, I love pink jewelry, I love pink books, I love pink walls, I love pink hats, I love pink hair, I love pink make-up, I love pink dresses, I love pink flowers, I Love!!! Pink!!!!