#why I do I have to process my religious trauma instead of simply being the messianic figure to a doomed world

[fredthedemonpartner]

Extremely fucked up that instead of being a sad babygirl horror protagonist because of my childhood trauma I have to process it through “therapy” and “talking to people who care about me.”When I could be simply facing eldrich horrors or hungry gods that threaten my life and sanity.

[inspector-constable]

Aziraphale and the Gray Area: Why is he like that though

Good omens season 2 spoilers ahead

One of the things religious trauma gave me is a strong sense of right vs. wrong. The idea that there is always a right way to do things or a right course of action, and to not do things that way is simply wrong. This is more than just feeling afraid of being punished for doing the wrong thing; it feels like part of my identity. I think of myself as a good person, so I want to do good things and I want to do the right thing. If I choose to do the wrong thing, I lose myself and I lose what I value in myself. Sometimes it’s a good thing to feel like this, it’s what led me away from a religion that preached hate. Sometimes it’s not such a good thing, because I can hurt people by trying to do the right thing, or by trying to put my personal sense of morals onto other peoples’ situations. I have been picking through my beliefs for over a decade trying to confront and dismantle the harmful ones. It’s a painful process and it takes a long, long time.

How much longer must it take for a literal angel, a servant of God? We have the pleasure of seeing this process in Aziraphale through the ages, and it’s a lot slower than fans want it to be. I think people see Aziraphale in his moments in the gray area - lying, disobeying orders, being a bastard, enjoying human food, and loving and trusting a demon - and they think that he must be just fine with being in the middle: mostly right, a bit wrong, very human. But that characterization oversimplifies and misses Aziraphale’s true nature.

The sense of justice and good vs. evil is central to who Aziraphale is. He is not just another angel following commands; he is doing what he truly thinks is right no matter what the consequences may be. He ends up being quite a bit more good and loving than any of the other angels we meet, because he isn’t okay with doing what he knows is wrong. He knows it innately, but also he knows it because of what he was taught. When you’re taught that hate and violence and greed is wrong, but then you see hate and violence and greed being perpetuated by your teachers, you start to wonder where that dividing line really is.

That’s where the gray area comes in. When Aziraphale gives away his sword, he’s aware it’s not technically the right thing to do, but decides it is the actual right thing to do to protect Eve and Adam and their child. Same as when he lies to the angels about Job’s children, only this time instead of fudging the truth and avoiding the confrontation, he has to make a direct choice to do something that is technically wrong - lying - in order to avoid doing something he really, really knows is Wrong - murder. In this case, he’s not okay with lying despite it being wrong, he’s okay with lying because it is the right thing to do. It still causes a large amount of internal conflict when he thinks he will be sent to Hell for disobeying, but that fear of punishment didn’t stop him from doing what he thought was good.

For Aziraphale, the gray area is not about being a little bit evil, it’s about fudging the Rules and disobeying authority in order to remain completely good. Since Crowley is in the gray area with him, surely Crowley must be in the same boat of wanting to do the Right thing. Throughout thousands of years of history Aziraphale never stops arguing the side of Good, trying to convince Crowley to do the right thing. Sometimes he finds that Crowley was actually right all along, and then Aziraphale can feel safe to align himself with whatever the demon is doing. Sometimes Aziraphale even tries to convince Heaven to do the right thing with him. During Armageddon, Aziraphale avoids telling Crowley the truth because he thinks it would be better to get Heaven to stop doing the wrong thing. And he’s right, a lot of problems would be solved and life would be easier if Heaven would listen to Aziraphale and stop inflicting their harmful views on the world. 

It would be nice if Aziraphale would realize, at the end of the first season, that Heaven is not interested in being good or even being right; they just want to win. Aziraphale is too naive and pure to believe that of Heaven. After everything, he still wants to be an angel, and he still wants to be part of a Heaven that is doing good. What he did at the end of season 2 is not at all out of character for him. It makes perfect sense that he would want to take the opportunity to change Heaven for the better. Anyone can see what a delightful place it would be with Aziraphale making the decisions. Angels could drink hot chocolate and stack books in their offices or pop down to Earth to go to the theater. Humans could live without worrying about Armageddon or the Great Plan or having their lives destroyed over a bet. And demons (or at least one specific one) who were good and loving could be forgiven and become angels again so they don’t have to be forced to carry out evil acts and always be looking over their shoulders. 

Aziraphale didn’t do what he did because he doesn’t accept or love who Crowley is. He just genuinely believes that Crowley is still an angel deep down and that Heaven is where he belongs, where he could be the most happy. A better Heaven, where Crowley could create stars to last millions of years and put anything he wanted in the suggestion box. Aziraphale wanted to create a life for them to be together without any more worry of secret meetings, gray areas, and war. When Crowley rejected that life, it broke Aziraphale’s view of Crowley and his goodness. As ridiculous as it sounds, Aziraphale never expected that Crowley wouldn’t jump at the chance to be an angel with him again, and now his perception of their relationship is shaken. 

Ultimately, Aziraphale can’t be so selfish as to choose to run away with the being he loves, when he knows he can do so much more good if he returns to Heaven. And so in trying to do the right thing for everyone, Aziraphale does the wrong thing for Crowley and himself. This is what is so hard about Aziraphale’s gray area; it cuts both ways. He has so much learning and unpacking to do, and I’m afraid he’s going to find that he will have much less power to change Heaven than he thought. All we can do is beg for a third season and then Wait and See.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

I actually agreed with many of your points in the past and appreciate your perspective on religion, but I draw the line on your most recent post about trigger warnings being supposedly "unhelpful" for trauma survivors. This simply isn't true- if it weren't for trigger warnings in things like fanfiction or Tumblr posts, I, as a sexual assault survivor, would end up reading content that would aggravate my PTSD on days where I couldn't handle it. Trigger warnings are just as important for victims of religious trauma, as well. I'm not just speaking from a personal perspective- I know so many people who need tags for certain content and deliberately not tagging things for them because of a study like this is inherently wrong.

Sorry to put this in two asks instead of just one and cluttering your inbox, but I forgot to mention- I have severe PTSD and trigger warnings actually help me. They way you phrased your comment on the post about trigger warnings was beyond insensitive, and while religion deserves your insensitivity, trauma survivors don't.

What you're asking is for me to stick to the reality of imaginary gods, while denying the reality of how human psychology works. You want me to cater to your preferred reality denial, but not that of a believer.

I don't care if you find the reality of trigger warnings "insensitive." Xians find my criticism of their religion "insensitive" and it doesn't bother you that I proceed anyway.

Your objection is inconsistent.

https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/special-pleading

More importantly, your objection is harmful to people who have experienced trauma.

deliberately not tagging things for them because of a study like this is inherently wrong.

No, it's uncomfortable, not wrong. There’s a difference. You framing your issues and your mental wellbeing as everyone else's moral and ethical obligation is actually wrong. “Saying something that upsets me is inherently wrong,” is functionally the same logic as blasphemy laws. It’s the exact reason we’re told we’re not allowed to draw pictures of Muhammad.

It's manipulative and coercive. I would even go so far as to say abusive. Because it's eerily similar to someone tiptoeing around their own house because saying the wrong thing, eating too loudly, wearing the wrong color clothes could trigger their partner into flying off the handle. "You know how I get; why do you make me do this to you?”

If you’re not well enough to handle the arbitrary randomness of the internet, then why are you even here? “Well, I’m allowed to be.” So am I. But your position is that I need to regard you as the lowest common denominator.

I say this completely without judgement: your issues are a flaw with your own mental processes, with emotional resilience, with inaccurate perceptions of threat and safety. And this is not without a good reason, because of what happened to you, what you went through. But they’re not a flaw in reality. So altering the reality around you does not address where the problem lies. It simply deflects it onto others.

If your mental health is beholden to other people, then you are setting yourself up for failure. And I suspect you're doing that intentionally, because to take responsibility for your recovery is difficult and scary.

And I get that it is. I get that it means re-opening old wounds, revisiting what happened. Making it heart-stabbingly real by having it spoken aloud.

But I will not relieve you of the work you need to do to recover. I will not take responsibility for your ability to cope. It is unfair of you to demand so of me, just as it's unfair of you to demand it of others.

while religion deserves your insensitivity, trauma survivors don't.

Here's the thing: this is the nicest thing I can do for you. To not treat you like the fragile creature you imagine yourself to be. I can have empathy for you and still tell you to go to see someone and sort things out.

Honestly. Fearlessly. To, assisted by the right kind of help, confront the feelings and the problem head-on, to learn new skills and tools that actually are healthy (e.g. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), and emerge on the other side victorious.

"Think of resilience like a muscle. It’s *meant* to be used. If instead of using & strengthening your muscles you were very carefully carried around all the time- they will atrophy. The good news is: like, your muscles, resilience can be developed."

-- @seerutkchawla

The same way I tell Xians to sort out their issues rather than medicating themselves with nonsense about gods to alleviate their fear of death.

My humanity tells me that I want you to get better, to work hard, to overcome, rather than having your issues reinforced and affirmed.

I will not reinforce helplessness. I will not pat you on the head and whisper in your ear that we will tiptoe around you. I will tell you that you went through something, that it was painful, and I'm sorry for that.

Now, what are you going to do to move forward? What is your plan to get better? If your plan is that everybody will speak in hushed tones, avoid using valid language and terms, and there are things that will just eternally be off limits around you, then you've given up on life.

I will not endorse that. I will not endorse surrender and capitulation to the dictatorship of fear.

"Coddling is not love. It’s incapacitation- the psychological form of foot binding. It’s subliminally communicating: ‘you are incapable, fragile, weak but very special’. This is not love, it is the devouring mother."

-- @seerutkchawla

You may be pissed off with me, but I'm fine with that. i will tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. You may find it insensitive, but I don't care. I will not treat you as an incapable, fragile victim. Because that's what trigger warnings do.

The work and studies on psychology, PTSD, trauma and trigger warnings are clear. Trigger warnings do not work. They are the opposite approach to delivering improved mental health, and originate from the self-diagnosis trend. The mistaken belief that you can know yourself as a biological and neurological organism better than a trained professional who has studied the subject objectively.

==

Here is a post where I reference a half dozen articles and studies relating to to the subject:

https://religion-is-a-mental-illness.tumblr.com/post/633326334042669056

I'm going to quote some of the most important points here:

==

The original “The Coddling of the American Mind” article goes into the actual psychology of trigger warnings:

[..] there is a deeper problem with trigger warnings. According to the most-basic tenets of psychology, the very idea of helping people with anxiety disorders avoid the things they fear is misguided. A person who is trapped in an elevator during a power outage may panic and think she is going to die. That frightening experience can change neural connections in her amygdala, leading to an elevator phobia. If you want this woman to retain her fear for life, you should help her avoid elevators.

But if you want to help her return to normalcy, you should take your cues from Ivan Pavlov and guide her through a process known as exposure therapy. You might start by asking the woman to merely look at an elevator from a distance—standing in a building lobby, perhaps—until her apprehension begins to subside. If nothing bad happens while she’s standing in the lobby—if the fear is not “reinforced”—then she will begin to learn a new association: elevators are not dangerous. (This reduction in fear during exposure is called habituation.) Then, on subsequent days, you might ask her to get closer, and on later days to push the call button, and eventually to step in and go up one floor. This is how the amygdala can get rewired again to associate a previously feared situation with safety or normalcy.

==

From https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30843709/:

We meta-analyzed the results of 5 experiments (N = 1,600) conducted online, and found that trigger warnings did not cause participants to interpret the photos in a more negative manner than participants who were unwarned. However, warned participants experienced a negative anticipatory period prior to photo viewing that did little to mitigate subsequent negative reactions.

==

From: https://www.usnews.com/news/health-news/articles/2020-06-16/trigger-warnings-may-do-more-harm-than-good-study-finds

“We found that trigger warnings did not help trauma survivors brace themselves to face potentially upsetting content,” said lead researcher Payton Jones, a doctoral candidate in clinical psychology at Harvard University. “In some cases, they made things worse.”

Trigger warnings seem to increase the extent to which people see trauma as central to their identity, which can exacerbate cases of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in the long run, Jones and his colleagues found.

“We found evidence that trigger warnings increased the extent to which trauma survivors saw their worst event as central to their life story,” Jones said. “Seeing trauma as central to one’s life is not a good thing.”

==

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwMeZLh1C8E

“A response that the Atlantic got that absolutely nearly brought me to tears, that I just thought was so beautiful was someone talking about the fact that she lost her sister, she committed suicide by jumping off of a building. And she relayed the story of that being covered in class and in a fictional work in which that’s the way a character kills himself. And there was no trigger warning, there was no preparation for it, and it was the first time she had felt normal in years. And that that meant the world to her, to actually just be treated like everybody else.”

-- Greg Lukianoff

==

"Celebrating victimhood is a great way to incentivise not wanting to overcome it. Empathy & support, yes. Celebration, no."

-- @seerutkchawla

The empathy I have for you and your situation, one that nobody should have to go through, is best served by me cheering you on as you do the work, the actual, hard-to-do, challenging, confronting work to overcome what has happened to you. To do what is right, not that which is on the path of least resistance.

That it bothers me more that you would give up and accept defeat than that you might be mad at me.

To tell you that I believe in you, that you can do this.

That you can, and deserve to, live a happy life without the constant fear of emotional annihilation.

==

More:

https://religion-is-a-mental-illness.tumblr.com/tagged/trigger-warnings

https://religion-is-a-mental-illness.tumblr.com/tagged/PTSD

https://religion-is-a-mental-illness.tumblr.com/tagged/Cognitive-Behavioral-Therapy

https://religion-is-a-mental-illness.tumblr.com/tagged/religious-trauma-syndrome

https://religion-is-a-mental-illness.tumblr.com/tagged/human-psychology

https://religion-is-a-mental-illness.tumblr.com/tagged/Seerut-Chawla

[hopefullyhealing]

The shit he put me through - Part 1: Boob fetish

CW : lots of misogyny, some sexual (not explicit) content, emotional abuse, religious trauma, body image, weight loss, disordered eating

Trauma dumping for an outlet as I process my divorce and the unhealthy relationship that I endured. Maybe someone can relate or learn from it.

1. Pressuring me to wear revealing clothing while also making demeaning comments about women wearing revealing clothing.

2. Constantly begging me to wear a push up bra that was uncomfortable. When I chose to go braless or wear something more comfortable he acted as though this was a personal insult to him.

3. Telling me the most attractive I ever was was when I was 10 weeks pregnant, lost 7 pounds in a week from throwing up daily, couldn't rest anything except plain rice, but my breasts were swelling. Years later he would still guilt me about not trying to squeeze into a fancy dress so he could enjoy my body when I was so attractive. (Nothing more appealing than wearing a restrictive too small dress while battling constant nausea am I right)

4. Giving me stretch mark reducing cream in my Christmas stocking while I was pregnant, to prevent my boobs from stretching too much. He also gave me a birthday card all about boobs.

5. Pouted when I didn't want to have sex anytime just because when his attempt at foreplay was simply squeezing my boobs. Started rejecting my kisses by blowing in my face anytime I tried. For years. His love language is physical touch ... But he rejected my kisses and hugs and cuddles. I desperately tried to speak his language while maintaining my boundaries and trying to not be objectified.

6. The many times over seven years I tried to communicate that I did not find his obsession with my breasts attractive and asked if he could tell me something he liked about my personality... Or even another body part... Asked for assurance that he would love me even if my body changed... (Spoiler; he wouldn't) He rolled his eyes. I just didn't understand men. He asked why I needed so much validation. Told me to read this book about codependency and stop being so needy. (I tried.)

7. After my daughter stopped breastfeeding and my breasts were less full, he told me I should work on losing weight. I did. I lost 25 lbs in 4 months. He cheered me on initially (the only positive reinforcement from him at the time) until he realized that my boobs were deflating even more. Then every time he touched them his face fell. He didn't want me anymore.

8. His response to me stating that women should not be objectified - insisting that he was a victim because I didn't let him "enjoy my body enough before it changed."

9. Telling me he was embarrassed for me when we went swimming because "some of the older women at the pool have nicer boobs than you do, and you're still so young" (when I've been trying to focus on body neutrality and appreciate my body for what it does and not what it looks like)

10. Told me he was unhappy in our marriage and the only thing he could think that might fix it was a boob job. (which he acknowledged was so unfair to me.)

I considered it. I talked to plastic surgeons. But ultimately it wasn't about my breasts, it was about disrespect and literally viewing my body as an object he was entitled to.

*Note we are from a very high demand religion (LDS) so no sexual contact including second base was allowed until marriage. I went into this marriage understanding he really liked boobs, but not understanding that (almost) the entire reason he wanted to marry was to have access to boobs he didn't have to feel guilty about looking at. I've been deconstructing purity culture for a while. I tried to help him overcome his shame but I got ^^^ instead.

[delusion-of-negation]

top 10 (ish) ridiculous or annoying FAQs:

(click at your own discretion)

1) "kids today rely on others to do everything"

ah yes, damn those participation trophies! if it wasn't for them my hands wouldn't be fucked, and I wouldn't need people to write for me. but seriously, stop reading boomer comics, and go outside to meet some actual young people.

2) "sus that a non-american says mom"

yeah, because it's clearly the superior version, and I'm not too patriotic to concede a defeat.

3) "sweaty, the victims of abuse by catholics are real people, stop appropriating their pain just because you want to hate catholics; plus teachers abuse people just as often anyway"

so firstly, I don't hate anybody. and secondly, regarding the fact that victims really do exist, [insert "of course I know him, he's me" meme here]; although I don't often talk much about the abuse I went through or what my religious beliefs are. but, more importantly, statements like "survivors are people" can be phrased like "some people are survivors", and when you're unable to act according to the latter (like when you don't even consider that somebody might be one) then you display a failure to recognise the former - you're projecting; a survivor can't be appropriating their own pain, but you can be appropriating it to silence one. and thirdly, teachers do abuse - the problem isn't and has never been purely religion, rather that abuse is often done by somebody in a position of trust, power, and familiarity; and that the lack of a global minimum enables totally legal abuse on top of the illegal stuff. people with access and respect have more opportunity to abuse than those without, and that goes for teachers too. but, once again, you can be appropriating the pain of survivors to deflect and silence people. please remember this before you say that shit.

4) "get help/therapy"

way ahead of you - years ahead of you. but it's not magic - people who say this often act as if you'll start behaving differently overnight. not only are some things simply beyond the ability of talking therapy to completely rectify, it also takes time and has to be selective. you've got to pick your priorities, and that's definitely not whatever ship or joke you're mad at me about today. therapy is a slow, arduous process that can't guarantee results - it isn't "anti-recovery" to recognise that, it's honesty. while I've been in therapy for a long time, it is not necessarily going to change whatever you don't like about me - whether that's because it can't, because my focus now is on more important or urgent things, or because I don't want to change that.

5a) "tell your family you ship incest, see how that goes; normal people find it disgusting"

actually, some know, and they're fine with it. in fact, one prefers sibling pairings in fiction to all other dynamics because, to paraphrase, "it's a deeper level of messed up co-dependence". so unfortunately for you, my remaining family (by which I mean those not dead or cut out of my life after abuse and so forth) actually are able to distinguish between fiction and reality. plus, my reasoning for caring if they find it gross or not pertains only to recommending books and such - their opinions do not dictate my tastes.

5b) "don't sexualise/appropriate incestuous abuse" and "I bet you enjoyed being raped" and other attempts to upset me over 5a

firstly, as I've already said here, survivors can't be appropriating ourselves. in addition, you're not owed people's history or trauma - it's not okay to require people's personal information, or else you'll send anon hate and accusations of appropriation. secondly, I'm not sexualising our abuse (not just because I write horror, and so a lot of my writing is intended to be creepy, not sexy); these stories aren't about us, they're not us at all. entire dynamics/people (fictional or otherwise) aren't all going to be applicable to us or identical to us, just because they have something in common with us; they're not us and they're not accountable to us. thirdly, the fact that people send this stuff (attempting to trigger people's trauma over ships) is so much more worrying to me than somebody making our communal imaginary friends kiss. you're trying to hurt people. and finally, to the "I bet you enjoyed it" crowd (if you're at all serious): do you think you'd enjoy being in a real zombie apocalypse, alone, afraid, and really at risk of being eaten alive? a fictional scenario does not feel remotely the same as a real one. this isn't rocket science - things that look like you aren't you; fiction isn't reality; don't send anon hate. (edit: comparable "just leave me alone, I'm not hurting anyone" sentiments for yandere stuff, and anything else you decide I'm naughty for.)

6) "you'll be sent off to do manual labour once your communist revolution happens"

while I don't know why people think that I'm a communist, a dictatorial regime probably isn't going to want me to do manual labour. they're more likely to just shoot me; I'm useless and a liability. call me crazy, but something tells me that "ah yes, we shall give ze deranged cripple ze power tools" isn't the communist position.

7a) "they/them can't be singular pronouns"

yes they can, and they're used as such in both shakespeare and the bible. but you don't have to say this - I'm also okay with he/him, so you could've just used those and chilled out. also, do I look like somebody who views the rules of grammar as fully immutable and imperative?

7b) "enbies/aros/pan/etc aren't valid"

do you really think that you're going to change any hearts or minds by putting that in my ask box or under my funny maymays? chill out, it's not worth the effort - you could be planning a party (in minecraft) and having fun instead. it isn't worth my time to rant at everybody who's saying something isn't valid, updating how I'm explaining it as my opinions grow and general discourse around it evolves; I'm just who I am, somebody else is who they are - why bicker in presumptuous ways about if that's enough? it ultimately is valid, in my opinion, but that isn't an invitation to keep demanding that I debate. (edit: old posts of mine probably don't phrase things incredibly, on this or anything... I tried.)

8) "what are your politics?"

my politics are informed first and foremost by the knowledge that I'm not cut out to be some kind of leader - I don't want to be the guy who tells everyone else what to do, I just offer what seem to me like valid criticisms of how we are doing things now, and general pointers on the values and ethics that I would prefer to move towards. things like individual freedom, taking the most pacifist route where possible, trying not to give excessive power to small groups of people (governments or corporations), helping those in need even when they're not palatable, and letting me suck loads of dicks. but please refrain from decreeing me something - there's not enough information in what I said, so you'll just be filling in the blanks with assumptions. (edit: workplace democracy seems cool to me; benefits are good; fair fines and taxes; and the "sperm makes you loopy" saga: 1, 2, 3, and 4.)

9) "you're a narcissist"

no, I don't meet the diagnostic criteria. joking on the internet that you're hot doesn't make a person a narcissist. the fact that I've chosen to keep my actual self-esteem issues to myself is not proof that they don't exist - you're just not entitled to that information about me. but it's also not narcissism to really like how you look. (edit: don't throw labels around carelessly too.)

10a) "kin list?"

the fabric of the universe, a zombie, dionysus, maned wolf/arctic fox hybrid, a comedian, big gay, big rock, ambiguously partial insincerity. (edit: kin list may or may not be incomplete.)

10b) "kin isn't valid/that's just being insane"

haven't we established that I'm deranged, and that sending stuff like this on anon is simply a waste of your precious time? besides, I do not care if it's invalid or insane - it's fun, I'm happy. (edit: see 7b for my opinion on sending me yet another ask with "that's invalid" in it; I'm not in the mood to discuss the nature of validity.)

bonus: "it gets better" and "trigger list?"

as I've said before, things just don't always get better for everyone - sometimes things can't be cured or even treated, sometimes they kill you; in some cases it could get better if not for a blockade or lack of time. the world is messy. it needs to be more normalised to reassure or comfort people without relying on saying that their issue will get better or be cured. it does suck to be this ill, but it also sucks to be made out to be a lazy pessimist, just because I have the audacity to not play along. and as for the trigger list, I don't like providing people with an easily accessed list of ways to hurt my feelings or harm me - upsetting me is supposed to be challenging, and thus rewarding. if you want a cheat sheet then you're out of luck, I'm afraid.

bonus #2: "FAQ stands for frequently asked questions, it doesn't need that s at the end!"

yeah, I know, I just enjoy chaos and disarray.

bonus #3 (edit): "what are your disabilities and how exactly are they incurable and/or deadly?"

again, I don't tell the internet everything about me, especially when it poses a risk, especially not as an easily accessible list for you to refer back to whenever you feel inclined to hurt my feelings. that is understandably a sore subject. (edit: that includes physical health issues btw.)

bonus #4 (edit): "so we shouldn't be critical?"

if it wasn't clear from my answer about politics or my post in general, you can have opinions about things, and you can voice that. it's just not realistic to exist at extremes: to think that you alone should dictate what exists in fiction, or to think that people shouldn't be expressing disdain or criticism of any calibur. say how you feel about things, that's fine, but it's also fine if people find that they don't value your input. plus we're all flawed, we can all be hypocritical from time to time, we all get bitchy, and we all make mistakes, or even knowingly fuck things up. that's important to keep in mind, whether we're talking about the one being criticised or the one doing the criticising - poor choices of words, imperfect tone, or contradictory ideas are inevitably going to happen occasionally.

congrats on reaching the end! if you have, at any point, said one of these to me, you owe a hug to your nearest loved one (once it's safe).

edit: might add more links/bonus points in the future when I think of things, but it's late now. (sorry for links where prior notes in the thread have my old url, that may get a tad confusing; also, not all links are my blog or my op, since it is to illustrate points/vibes, not to self-promo.)

[yourdeepestfathoms]

hi! i’ve just been getting into the LIWs and i kind of want to make my own content for them, but since there’s pretty much no canon and most of the fics about them are angst (that never fail to rip my soul from my body) can i please have a rundown on what you headcanon each of their personalities are like outside of angst? sorry if you’ve already been asked similar questions.

Hi there! Sure, I can give a quick rundown! I hope it helps, and I’d love to see what content you come up with!

Bessie

Okay, so Bessie is very reserved and reclusive. She’s tough, sarcastic, and blunt, and WILL point out something you’re doing wrong. She has this outer layer of sorts, which is made up of thorns and quills that she’ll stick people with if they get too close, so she tends to come off as rude and standoffish. Growling, snapping, and scratching are not above her when she’s intimidated.

However, she’s actually really soft and caring, you just need to give her time. She’s extremely protective of those she cares about and absolutely will fight someone messing with them. She’s also a complete and utter dork if you can get her out of her shell, but is embarrassed very easily and has a strong sense of shame.

Additionally, Bessie has a layer of guilt and deep sadness to her. There’s very obviously depression there and it makes her do very stupid things, but she’s secretive, so she doesn’t tell anyone about what she’s doing.

She’s guilty about what she did with Henry and how that affected Aragon, and has learned to believe that she was never the victim and wanted the treatment the entire time. The abuse she faced also causes her to have a strong repulsion towards sexual subjects, even stretching as far as her hating seeing herself naked and going on shower strikes for weeks at a time (she just washes her hair in the sink and then Febreezes herself down), and become very sensitive about the way she looks and any comments made about her body. This only fuels her self destructive tendencies to destroy herself.

Her personality and the way she acts around other people varies on who she’s interacting with. She considers Cleves her best friend and can tell her almost everyone (just not her little habits, although she does sometimes slip up and almost tell her). She and Jane are also pretty close- she enjoys shopping with her because it’s peaceful. Maria is also someone she’s close to, as Maria practically raised her up until she had to leave court. However, in this life she’s older than Maria and mothers her for a change. Then there’s Cathy, who she considers her “sisterly significant annoyance” because the queen seems fascinated in her. Kitty is a pretty difficult case. When Bessie looks at her, she seems a real victim, a helpless child who got punished for something she didn’t want- an opportunity to tell the real story. Something she didn’t get. So she tends to keep away from Kitty to avoid feeling guilty or jealous. And then there’s Aragon, who she’s probably the closest to. She has an on and off love-hate relationship with the queen (with her doing most of the hating). At first she would always refuse Aragon’s helps with anything, but slowly warms up to her and sees her as a mother figure once again, although she doesn’t ever tell her that out of embarrassment.

Also she hates her son, FitzRoy, because there’s bad memories attached to him.

Also also she hates the sound of babies crying. Because suchba hatred should be considered a personality trait.

Also also also- All You Wanna Do makes her EXTREMELY uncomfortable

Maria

To put it simply, she is the fun sister everyone wants. You know the one- the sister that gives toddlers a bottle of alcohol and laughs about it up until the toddler starts to drink it and she then screams, “NO STOP—” That kind of sister.

Maria is chaotic, but not in a gremlins sort of way. More like “plays the PornHub intro whenever someone walks through a door” sort of way. She’s very fun and sweet and loving, especially towards Maggie and Joan, who she considers as her young sister figures. She doesn’t have much of a sense of shame and will laugh about pretty much everything. She also will do something stupid to show off, like eating a bunch of pepers despite having an acid reflux (another hc i have). Additionally, she’s very nurturing and really good at comforting someone when there’s sad because she is really warm and soft. She particularly has a soft spot for Bessie.

But despite all of this, there is lingering guilt. She’s very guilty over what happened with Bessie and believed she could have stopped it or saved her from Henry’s treatment if she had just done something or tried a little bit harder. She never really forgave the king and queen for “taking Bessie away from her.”

Relationship wise, she’s closest to Aragon and Bessie. She tends to stay away from Anne, who she blames for Aragon’s divorce and death because of the divorce. Aside from that, she’s on good terms with everyone else and considers them friends.

Maggie

Maggie is a little tricky because I’ve been switching her personality around. But I’d describe her as “looks like a cinnamon roll but could kill you.”

For one, she’s very fidegety. Like, she always seems to be moving, and if she isn’t moving then she’s wringing her hands in her shirt or bouncing her leg or flexing her fingers. Second, she’s nice and sweet, but empathy is a little difficult for her, so she’s not the best at comforting people that aren’t Anne. She finds it hard to put herself in their shoes because she doesn’t want to imagine whatever they went through, so verbal comfort is not her strong point (unless, again, you’re Anne). She’s also somewhat of a kleptomaniac and will take something she likes without even realizing the other person wouldn’t like getting their things stolen.

And then there’s her trauma. Maggie has a lot of trauma regarding Anne’s death and witnessing it so close, to the point where she sometimes sees the decapitation when she closes her eyes. This causes her to be very clingy towards the queen and will hold onto her to make sure she’s real and safe. Anne will sometimes let her touch her neck just to prove it to her further.

Obviously Anne is Maggie’s best friend- these two are practically joined at the hip. However, she’s slightly jealous of Kitty when Kitty starts to get close to Anne because she believes her friend is gonna be taken away from her.

Also she doesn’t like Don’t Lose Ur Head because it brings back bad memories

Joan

Wooo boy this girl is a roller coaster from start to finish-

If I could only use three phrases to describe Joan they would be: Anxious, jealous, and people-pleaser

Let me explain

First of all, saying she’s anxious is an understatement. When something bad happens, Joan’s mind immediately goes to the worst case scenarios and she starts to prepare for her life to be ruined. Like, her messing up during a show? She expects the director to fire her after she gets offstage, which then leads to the other ladies in waiting kicking her out because she doesn’t have a job and can’t pay her share of the bills, and then she starves to death on the streets with her only form of income being her selling her blood for money to some guy in a box. It’s that bad.

She works religiously, to the point where she skips meals and sleep entirely just to make sure she’s up to date with everything. She makes her job ten times harder on herself, but she’s so in the loop with this process that she doesn’t know how to just make a normal schedule instead of tackling everything at once. This does not help that fact that she’s an insomniac and has a severe caffeine addiction.

Then there’s her being a people-pleaser. Despite her seeming to work all the time, she’s also very desperate for attention and affection from others. However, her attempt to make friends usually blow up in her face because she either comes off way too strong or is completely awkward and stutters the entire time. This, of course, worsens her RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria- another hc I have) and makes her believe she’ll never be enough and that nobody likes her. So she tries harder and does anything she can to make the others like her.

She’s very sensitive to rejection (hence the RSD) and does not take it very well. It can completely shut her down and make her give up on everything completely. She can’t fathom the fact that some people just won’t like her.

She also feels very insignificant compared to the others. Unlike them, she had nothing interesting happen in her life. She was just a maid and lady in waiting. Not a queen, not a secret mistress, not a best friend to the queen. Just a worker. So she starts to believe she doesn’t matter to them at all and they’re all just better than her.

There’s also some problems with her memories (which I hc due to the fact that there’s little to no information on her) and can’t remember much aside from her time as a lady.

And then there’s the jealousy.

Joan is EXTREMELY jealous of Kitty and how she’s a daughter figure to Jane. She doesn’t understand why Jane likes this girl she never knew in her past life more than she likes her. And it makes her very angry and upset, to the point where she sometimes snaps at people or says something she doesn’t really mean. She lets her envy get the best of her.

Relationship wise, hers are a bit shaky. Joan has a hard time making friends and tends to be rather lonely most of the time. However, she likes to think she’s close to Jane, even if Jane doesn’t pay much attention to her. She also looks up to Aragon and how confident she is. Sometimes she’ll follow Anne around, too, as she had been a maid in waiting to her.

And I think that wraps most of it up! I may have missed a few things, but that’s good for now. If you have anymore questions on these girls, feel free to ask!

[asherlockstudy]

Did you end up listening to links EB? I'm curious about your thoughts

Warning, this post is extensively about religion, the concept of sin, trauma, self- torment. Please skip if you feel uncomfortable with any of these being mentioned. Also, this post is my personal interpretation of events discussed in the last EBs. I believe I am not exceeding any boundaries but keep in mind all the same that I do make assumptions here.  

Oookay… where to start and what to say…Even though I’d read many MB comments about Link’s EB and I was prepared, I was much more shaken by the end of it than I had expected. I still don’t know how to start so I’ll connect this a bit to the guess in my previous post. Link was indeed more absolute in his beliefs and thoughts than Rhett but it was for the reason I considered the least probable: he’s leaning away from Christianity / religion more than Rhett. His reaction to it involves anger and disappointment. 

I’ll just address this: I understand there are many valid reasons for which they say they haven’t experienced trauma associated with their religion and its practices but this is 99% not true. Perhaps they don’t say it because they are still processing it, they are just now realising it or haven’t yet. Sometimes when you’re bursting with emotions, especially toxic, you can’t see the truth easily. On the other hand, maybe they don’t want to share with us their trauma and this is perfectly normal. Most people wouldn’t share their trauma with the global population. Speaking to your therapist or a close person is already hard enough. What they did means a lot to them so it was a very brave decision. 

When it comes to emotions, self-awareness and confronting oneself, Link is braver than Rhett. That’s why his episode is braver than Rhett’s too. I don’t believe Rhett’s insistence that his pursuit for answers was strictly intellectual. Yes, they acknowledged they are very different personalities but I think Rhett still has trouble accepting or admitting the toll his choices and beliefs early in life could have had in his emotional world for decades. Link exposed him a little, mentioning several times that Rhett would discuss with him their similar concerns that were often largely irrelevant to the Evolution and the accuracy of the events described in the Bible. You can hear that Rhett is sometimes hesitant to participate a lot to Link’s EB and I respect that. He does not have to say any of this to us after all. He’s not obligated to say as much as Link either.

 As for Link, Link is a person that loathes keeping things buried inside him and yet it seems this is all he ‘s been  doing his entire life. Like I said in my guess, Link’s natural predisposition was not to care all that much about religion as a child but he yearned for guidance (and a father figure) that I am afraid he was deprived of in his household. The reasons Link is so obsessed with systems and organizing is probably because he always felt there was not enough control / order / guidance in his life. He relied on his systems and the most willingly authoritative people he could find: Rhett and, by extension, Rhett’s father. Make no mistake, I’m not condemning Rhett. I hate to say that Rhett was also a victim of his father. Of course, I don’t mean his father wanted to torment his son but simply his parenting was toxic even though he was undoubtedly trying for the best for his family. Rhett was not the one who kicked Link out of his car. The real Rhett was the one who walked back to him. His anger for Link’s “sin” (for fuck’s sake???!!) was his father and all the religious teachings speaking in his ear. Besides, the fact that a 16 year old would feel ashamed on behalf of another teenager and abandon him in the middle of a road because he drank a little alcohol simply shows how much poison was eating Rhett’s insides too without realising it. 

You see, what makes me melancholic is that in this perspective Link and even Rhett sound like they were really innocent children - pure souls. But sometimes when someone is by nature or by circumstances so sensitive / innocent / sheltered / isolated, then whatever attacks them first (i.e extreme religious teachings) can fuck them up very easily. Link was innocent enough that he was convinced that as a baby he had committed serious sins that Jesus sacrificed to save him from specifically. Kid Link felt guilty for things he couldn’t even fathom. He was compelled to maintain a relationship with Jesus (which they were both interpretting almost as a regular, literal one) out  of gratitude for his “””redemption””””. Then he lived in constant fear of what could be perceived as sin by God next. Crying because he had a few drinks. Staying (too) away from Christy because he was more “irresponsible” with his previous girlfriend. (At this point I am really curious what Link considered irresponsible / sinful in a romantic relationship but I am afraid of the answer.) We all understand I hope that this isn’t very different from those monks who have an “unholy” thought and then whip themselves until they pass out, right? The reasoning is the same and it’s self-torment. The irony is I think Link probably was doing a pretty solid job as a Christian (even by conservative standards). He sounds like he had unrealistic expectations about his relationship with God. I sensed that he’s still not completely over this. 

After I learned the truth about their “lost years” I was slightly disappointed because I had this dreamy view of a friendship where one quits his job because the other has artistic visions for both of them. It turns out there was even more devotion and loyalty on Link’s part after all. Link stayed in this religious system basically because Rhett did, because he had so much faith and trust in him and he was repressing himself because “surely Rhett is right and it’s just that I am the insufficient one again”. My understanding is that the first signs of Rhett’s scepticism was something Link desperately hoped for for years against all odds. It’s mindblowing for me that Link started distancing himself from the church only after Rhett’s doubts were multiplying and he started being open about them. The amount of respect and trust he has for Rhett could probably be found in novels. 

In order to make a full circle, all this makes it obvious once more that there is trauma - maybe severe - involved. I mean, these incidents alone are traumatic enough and now imagine everything they have not told us. What’s more, Link sounded like there was trauma involved. So did Rhett. For more proof, just watch today’s GMM where Terry prays for Link. Notice Link’s clear discomfort. He felt bad but he didn’t want to make it awkward for poor unsuspecting Terry who was just trying to make a joke. This shows though how easily Link is triggered - Terry clearly pushed all the wrong buttons there - and that means trauma. I don’t have the slightest doubt that Link was 100% sincere when he said a big part of it was his frustration that people dear to him could not be accepted by the Church he was a member of but, let’s be real, it’s a whoooole different thing realising some stuff and making calm decisions to stand by your non-privileged friends and reevaluate your choices than actually almost having a panic attack at the thought of following your family inside a building that happens to be a church. This hints to a personal wound, it is an instictual response for self-protection. Also, we know how adamant Link is to not disappoint and keep the family as united as possible - it is uncharacteristic that he wanted to make a different choice that day instead of, say, go in there with them and simply stand indifferent and not participate. 

They are healing right now. Despite what Link said, I feel they both still yearn very much for a higher force, an almighty spirit. They just need it to be unconditionally loving and accepting and just. Their spiritual journey is not over. 

[all-things-are-nothing-to-me]

Smashing the Petri Dish: Abbreviated Inquiry Into Abandoning the Concept of Culture

The following are questions I have recently asked myself:

Why abandon culture? There are countless reasons to begin to challenge, seriously realign our relationship with, and perhaps abandon the concept of culture — the historic, contemporary, and projected assemblage of social dynamics and features by which we define ourselves and which collectively frame us as social groupings. Culture contains the all-tofamiliar civilized notions of expectations, projections, customs, taboos, values, morality, and rituals, as well as being anthropocentric in nature, and in general, limited as it defines the human condition of a place, time, and context only in terms of human relationships or how we use other things. The human-animal, unrestrained by such an understanding of reality, and in tune with applicable concerns of connected subsistence and curious play, needs not for culture as something to belong to or to be guided by. Instead, they are what they are, a composition of all they are connected to, yet unique unto themselves. And if relationships are fluid, unbounded by artificial concepts, and based on mutual desire, than what use or need is there for culture, except to define and confine these relationships. It might be proposed then, that our search for liberation may fall outside the parameters of the concept of culture, and in fact, may be in contradiction with its very existence. Culture, whether ethnic, religious, national, tribal, pop, alternative, or counter, acts as a definer rather than minimalizer of the borders within and between ourselves, each other, and the rest of life.

Can we challenge the current basis of our relationships to each other? For many, to abandon culture seems a project too daunting, shocking, and counter to what we may have always believed. But when we talk of undoing the entirety of civilization, are there questions too colossal to ask and material too compact to cut through? To dispute culture itself, and the physicality of its politicized manifestation, society, is to question civilization’s very premise, that we are controlled and manipulated by external forces that have an agenda ultimately incompatible with that of the individual, regardless of their desires (although there may be illusory moments of adaptability). Whether there are direct lines drawn to individuals or groups in power, or the rigid formation of patterns and textures over time, culture controls. It must, or it ceases to exist. Culture can be viewed as the summation of who we are as social beings, or the parameters we live within. Both are unsatisfactory for one attempting an uncivilized and unrestrained existence. If we are to live entirely different, than what seems foundational and what binds all of this (civilization) must be unglued. The imprint must be erased. The structures must be shattered, so as to open up the space for our unimpeded wild selves to roam.

Is there an intrinsic element of cultivation that leads to the formation of rigid socialization? The cultivation of crops and tillage of the earth created a different context in which we dwell then that of the human-animal in a pre-civilized context. With the domination of the land, stratification of society, accumulation of power, creation of economy, and religious mystification of the world, culture takes root as an all-encompassing means of control. To put it simply, when there are things to keep in order, an orderly society is preferable. With this comes the standardization of society, the suggestion of values, the implementation of codes, and the enforcement of regulations, be they physical, intellectual, or spiritual. Overt force is always adjacent (at least the allegation of it), but to convince people they are a part of an abstract grouping, and that it is superior to any other, cultural identity is a much more effective means of control. And, to convince them of their need to view contrary or deviant inclinations of the belief system as an Other, also sets the ground for the defending of culture. The abstraction of unmediated relationships might be where we start to see concepts of culture as necessary. Before (or outside this perspective) what purpose would it serve?

What about the process of domestication is inevitable in culture? Development of humans as individuals and societies in general through education, discipline, and training, seems to require obedience to societal norms, recognized largely as cultural. The goal, as with any other form of domestication, is to obtain a uniform and productive crop or yield in as efficient means as possible. Individuality and fluidity are seen as hazards to be reigned in or plowed under. Possibly, depending on how bumper a crop that season, or how much power the domesticator has accumulated, some unruly weeds are allowed to exist on the periphery, but even they are still largely controlled, if only due to the proximity to the disciplined ones.

Are socialization and control implicit in the perpetuation and acceptance of culture? Culture attempts to express and prescribe meaning to our world. This meaning is typically, and I would argue inevitably, used to obtain and maintain power and control. Culture regularly has both a conservative and progressive character to it. Both securing society and pushing it forward stability and innovation. Traditional cultural values which sustain the contemporary aims of a society’s influence and momentum are often supported while the proposed future for that society is often portrayed as intrinsic trajectories for that culture. The tension between them keeps things moving. At any particular stage of advancement in a civilization, the characteristic features of such a stage are described as its culture. So that what is described as permanent, is never so, and that which is promoted as temporary is often an illusion of change. The bottom line is, the path of a society, and the cultural aspects of it, are quite arbitrary, yet presented as predetermined. To not be acquiescent in this set-up places one, for all practical purposes, outside of cultural reality. But the rejection of culture is certainly not a rejection of social interaction. The isolated human, rarely a healthy, connected, and successfully functioning being (by any standards), is typically the product of extreme alienation and trauma. Anti-social behavior, as a specific description, is relative to the context of the society, but it describes more of a disconnect from the ability to interact then a rejection of that society’s values. One can be positively a social being (and possibly they must be) and still attempt to dismantle that society and its social characteristics, especially if their processes of social interaction are from outside that society. As interaction and relations removed from the alienated and mediated civilized methods tend to be more direct, fluid, and intuitive, without the clunky dominating, and often insincere methods we are instilled with, it seems key to any sort of positive alternative.

Ever notice the “cult” in culture? Socially, there is great pressure, from authoritarianism to tension between “civilians”, to create a mindless following that is pervasive throughout society. There develops an affiliation of accomplices who adopt complete and societal belief systems or faiths. Those who move too close to the margins are regarded and handled as outsiders, which strictly maintains the definitions applied to a culture. In addition, the progressive linearity of cultural enlightenment and refinement through intellectual and aesthetic training occurs at all levels, from fashion to philosophy. Details and motivations of our actions that are obtained, recorded, and remembered through vastly different perceptions and bias perspectives, acquired through a cultural context and individual views, are filtered, averaged, and distilled to create a prevalent, repeated response system.

But what about primitive people and useful traditions? There is probably more from the past that we have carelessly discarded than we have critically shed, especially concerning earth-based peoples from gatherer hunters to horticulturists to pre-technological agriculturists and homesteaders (in my opinion, there is less to appreciate as we move onward in domestication, but from where we are located in history, there is still some value in critically assessing small-scale cultivators for some useful aspects). Examining the dynamics and methods of these various types of groupings for everything from food procurement to social organization (not that they aren’t inevitably linked) will reveal a great diversity between peoples and the strategies and patterns that have developed, and typically, unfortunately, formed into a culture. This investigation can also reveal common threads in how situations, needs, and problems are dealt with, which we can filter through our own unique and communal desires and contexts to apply to our lives, without adopting cultural parameters and definitions. Techniques are valuable, cultural explanations are useless, unless they reveal a relationship between things that can be utilized without socializing.

Life contains some underlying stability of circumstance, yet within it is an infinite and intricate shifting, fracturing, and supporting over time. A never-ending improvisation of reinforcing and interfering, but never repeating. Even the seemingly firmly structured parts are composed of limitless variables. We might be inspired by the way the Kaluli tribe of the Papuan Plateau perceive and interact with the world. For instance, they do not hear singular sounds in the rainforest, but instead an interlocking soundscape they call dulugu ganalan, or “lifting- up-over sounding”; millions of simultaneous sound cycles, starting and ending at different points. People’s voices layer and play off of this reality, as drums, axes, and singing blend together in rhythms and patterns creating an instinctual vocabulary understood by the group.

So what might living outside of culture look like? To start with, it would be free from moral and social frameworks that limit our freedom to explore, experience, and connect. We would still be “bound” by certain biological and geographical limitations, but not those determined by any experts or leaders. Instead we would experience directly these limitations, and along with shared experiences with others, develop our own unique understandings. Collective experience would not fit into any prearranged formation or contain any unified meaning. It would be the infinite intersections of support and divergence that make up the rest of what we call life. Rather than thinking in cultural terms, perhaps we can look at other social animals for inspiration. Flocks, herds, and packs can be contemplated for their manifestations and dynamics of living patterns. Instinctual rather than intellectual in motivation and stable yet flexible in an organic manner, rather than enforced or altered through mechanistic and projected means. Is this not closer to how humans live(d) outside of civilization?

Can we smash the petri dish and abandon the stifling concept of culture for an unobstructed reality? If we are content with the role of microorganisms in a prepared nutrient media or the product of such cultivation, then life as part of a culture is acceptable, even desirable and beneficial. If we are not satisfied as bacteria, segments of tissues, or fungi in a scientist’s test tube or observation dish, then we need to begin to seriously review how we relate to, coordinate, and view ourselves, each other, and the world around us. We can trade the abstraction, symbolic, efficiency, control, and completeness of superimposed culture for the connected, direct, dynamic, openness of unalienated existence.

The choice really is ours.

[gdreamzseternal]

I’d like to thank

@myradfemblog for finding an extremely old porn blog of mine. I forgot it existed and it actually makes me sick to see that I was role playing such sick disgusting trauma that I went through thinking it would help when it made me so much worse. Thank you for abusing me over something I repeatedly asked you to give me the link to because I wasn’t going to go through your slander about me to find it.

I want to also say thanks because you pointing that out and me seeing that made me cry both from being triggered and realizing how far I’ve come. That I am extremely kink critical now. When I used to be heavily into it. That I don’t whore myself out anymore because “sex work makes me strong”. God I used to genuinely believe that. Makes me sick. I was so so sick. I was still victimizing myself back then...

But now.. I am a survivor.

Everyone advocated for and ignored the dangers of extreme methods of “beat the child into submission”. (Looking at you old people) It’s so sad cause I still see it now. The way a person who I had a normal discussion with suddenly gets to violently abuse me and degrade me just because they didn’t like what I had to say. Sounds like abusive parents. Everything’s cool til it’s not.

My dad beat my ass cause at 9 years old because I looked him in the eyes and told him to stop drinking cause he was being mean. Telling the truth got me abused. Look at that what a surprise.

Humans communicate differently than other creatures on the planet. Does that mean the other creatures don’t communicate? No. That just means they do things different. They don’t need vaccines because they were meant to survive and live here. If humans didn’t have their science we would all be dead! We are in a race with the planet to see who can kill who first. Will we kill the planet (which kills us too idiots) or will the planet eradicate us via disease and natural disasters and heal itself and start over (we still dead). Or do we chill on our population and help the earth heal by bein more considerate of our surroundings. Yeah none of you like me because I say it how it is without thinking about how it will affect any of you. So that means you get to abuse me. I’m not hurting anyone by simply sharing my views. Yet I am being hurt for speaking my views. I’m not actively slitting the throats of disabled people. I’m not saying we have to round up the retards that already exist and just shoot them. They should just be left in their natural form. Yeah give artificial limbs out cause that’s science but giving a nasty fat fuck a wheel chair cause boohoo they can’t loose weight? Nah true waste of resources. I’m saying we use the science that is our only advantage to prevent that from ever happening again.

All I’m doing is talking on MY BLOG. & I get death threats and told I should be raped by my father all over again. Simply for sharing my feelings on what will 1000000% save the greater good. It doesn’t even have to be permanent. Imagine if every grown man had to get a vasectomy for the next 20 years til all the excited potential parents get throughly processed to see if they are psychologically, psychically, financially and home stable to have children. Then there is a massive database of all the adorable kids waiting to find homes and they get to meet and have a 30 day period where THE CHILD decides if they like their new potential parents. Every couple/person wanting to adopt can adopt up to 2 kids and the kids get a say too.

Humans are not special and I don’t care if you disagree with me. Yet for some reason we literally act like gods gift (complete pun intended) That think who fucking cares what we do to everything around us including ourselves because this is OUR EARTH. We can do what WE WANT. Blah blah blah. Then the WHITE MEN put control on EVERYONE. Then slowly we colored folk said fuck you and made our own lives cause who gives a flying fuck about someone’s skin color except for white people. Then the humans just started literally takin over. Who cares if a bunch of birds nests lived in this tree? I want my new condo that I spend 2-3 months a year in right fucking here so the homes of those birds don’t matter. Let’s massively hunt these animals into extinction for our pleasure. (Okay Hitlers)

We are selfish

I wasn’t raised like you. I wasn’t raised by anyone but my own fucking brain. I never had any positive influences but the voices in my head. We see the world for what it is and not the false reality im creating for myself. I won’t even say ‘most’ if you were raised right because even today in 2019 the system and adults hide the abuse and damage that is really happening. Clearly this whole system isn’t working.

I was raised that literally everything in the whole world was both good and bad. So I learned to be objective and unbiased. Your feelings are what get you killed. Ask any dead kid who didn’t speak up about their abusive parents. And any bleeding out gangbanger who got felt offended by a color and killed someone over it. Someone who felt the desire to get high cause they have no self control and killed some to get $$. But it wasn’t them because even though they felt the need to do the drugs it wasn’t their fault.

So why are we going to keep adding more and more children to the solution when we don’t even know what to do with the poor innocent souls that we have now? We just pretend it’s not that big a deal and keep adding feul (the kids) to the fire (the shitty system). CLEARLY you all know there’s a problem and nothing any of you are doing is working.

So when do we take extreme measures? When do we ACTUALLY make a change. We have nuclear bombs hell ANY bomb and those are okay “when absolutely necessary” but allowing people to have kids they can’t afford, can’t raise, got raped into them, got one night standed with, can’t handle. A BOMB AFFECTS HUMANS AND THE ENVIRONMENT NEGATIVELY. Humans getting neutered (since that’s what you call it for other creatures) will effect the world positively. The bombs are okay though? We can MASS destroy life but we can’t mass PREVENT it from having to be destroyed or emotionally ruined in the first place? Not forever just til we get our shit together.

The abominations and retards. That’s EXACTLY WHAT THEY ARE that’s why no one likes when you mention it. They are like the endless elephant in the room. I will die by the quote, “A few bad apples ruins the whole barrel”. We think that it’s perfectly okay to keep adding bad genes to our makeup while simultaneously praying we live forever. It’s so tiresomely contradicting.

If you can all make such a fucking effort for these retard abominations that you breed. Then you can STOP breeding COMPLETELY until you give the kids homes that need them. Those kids will be more likely to become doctors getting adopted out to good homes. Then if they get left to rot in a shitty system while they walk in a grocery store with their mean foster mom and see a happy young couple PREGNANT with their first child when they could have adopted him. If you choose to give birth instead of adopting then you might as well walk up to a kid in a foster/group home and tell them they are garbage and ain’t ever going anywhere.

I still haven’t had my question answered... why does ANY HUMAN ON THIS ENTIRE PLANET need to breed when there are already so many homeless children?

So what is it are we going to stop breeding and adopt all the kids out to good homes that have been more throughly evaluated than a simple background check and having enough beds and money?

Are we going to keep creating a whole brand new system for the retards when the perfectly able children who would flourish with good parents system is still completely fucked?

Giving whole TV shows to literal human abominations for entertainment. Or humans that are forced to overbreed or sickly do it “for religious reasons”. You get to see how much their disability/struggles makes their life so hard but they are so ~brave and strong~ because society would rather force conjoined twins to spend their lives together or die trying to separate because human euthanasia is wrong until a human kills another human???????

Where does that make sense.

We are going to keep worrying more about the dysfunctional, malfunctioned, rejects of our society before the regular ones? We are going to keep following fake gods we have no proof of so that we don’t have to accept the realities of human nature.

Are we going to not do anything and ignore all the clear issues and keep adding more kids?

The same can be said about the immigrant shit in America. We have so many problems we don’t need anymore people and this place is fucked why would you wanna come here anyway? (I digress on this)

Are we going to keep throwing children out like trash in hopes that someone else will raise the busted nut you let fester in your womb?

Like out of those which one of these which one is the best option? Because all but one are things we are already doing and it isn’t working.

So hate me for being unbiased. But as my therapist (yes I discuss this with BOTH my Ts to make sure I am not delusional) put it. I am not looking at it for the benefit of humans. I’m looking at the benefit of the earth as a whole. I don’t want humans to all die off. But if it’s what it has to take in order for this planet to survive then so be it. There are so many other species, creatures, life on this Planet.

To put it simply you’re all simpleminded.

There is no god because Humans seem to think they are god. & we can breed, have our technology, have our vaccines. But as long as we are still over breeding and not adequately using our resources....

The Human Rights we are fighting for will not matter if there is nothing for the humans to live on.

This Earth is our home and there are too many of us right now. Too many of us doing too many wrong things.

Focus on the Human Wrongs then there will be no need for Human Rights because they will realize they are all just another species on this glorious and beautiful earth.

I know none of you were take anything from this.

You all were taught one way or you think one way and that is it there can’t be any other way and anyone else who thinks differently than that is wrong but at the end of the day my ideas are what will save humanity your ideas are what will destroy it. Your safe space will be irrelevant if you have no where to put it.

A human’s need to add feeling and emotion to everything is our biggest flaw.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk Typing Podcast

[rickktish]

Sometimes it occurs to me

just how much my family just... does because of my dad’s autism, and how it translates into things we just do with my own. 

My dad wanders off in stores. My mom rolls her eyes sometimes when she’s trying to get his opinion on something and can’t find him, but other than that we just expect it, and account for it. My brother and I joke that he’s gone off into another dimension to fight vampire zombie pirate ninjas.

My dad will, on the rare occasion he feels he’s done enough work and enough housework to stay on top of it and enough research to understand the current advancements in his field, simply wander into the TV room and turn on a game, and whoever is interested will casually drift in there and sit down and quietly watch. Or he’ll start a movie and we’ll just... join him. Because he uses whatever media he’s putting on as an invitation to spend time in each others’ presence without having to talk or discuss anything, just enjoy being together. It has been that way my entire life.

My dad loves biology and computer science. We have a box garden in our back yard, because growing things in clay is hard and we had to get better dirt, which we don’t care for as often as we should but when we do, my dad will infodump on us the entire time we’re out there about the structure of plant cells or how Darwin’s theory actually works or why genetics work the way they do. My high school biology teacher refused to help me understand anything she was teaching and once exclaimed “am I speaking Chinese?!” when I visited her after school to request clarification on something I didn’t understand, throwing her hands in the air and refusing to explain it to me. I passed that class because my dad was always willing to tweak the language he used in his info dumping to help me get it. 

I just... never thought of these behaviors as autistic. Because in my family they were normal. They’re just things my dad does, things I’ve never known him not to do, so why should I be surprised when he wanders out of the room in the middle of a conversation? Why should I be surprised when he goes out and tinkers in the garage with no explanation? I don’t think my mom even notices when she’s reading my dad’s mind anymore because she knows that when he goes out to the garden, he has a plan. When he pulls out this device or that tool, he has something in mind which he probably brought up months ago and is now finding time to do.

And it’s not all the same, but it’s always been really similar for me?

Like, the first thing my mom asked me to do every day she picked me up from school was info dump on her. And I would talk the entire way home about whatever interested me that day, usually something linguistic or historical, and she’d listen and ask interested questions and follow my random jumps to other topics just fine. And I never thought it was anything weird to talk the entire way home about one verb form in French or a single person in history because she never made me feel like it was anything but normal. She actively tries to have just enough base knowledge to follow along in whatever thing my dad and I have taken interest in; she was a computer science major with him for a little while before she went into math instead and can follow the ideas behind my dad’s tech-related rambles. She’s terrible at spelling because of an auditory processing disorder and being nearly deaf in one ear, but she can follow along on my rants about the vital differences between two similar suffixes that convey deep, religious meaning to me about the nature of the words they make. When the rest of us are too distracted by what we’re doing in the garden to continue to prompt my dad, she��ll lean back and ask for clarification on a point, or ask if something is similar to what he’s been talking about, and then he’s off again.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that my mom does really well with autistic people and never made me feel anything but normal, partly because to me, my dad was normal. And I could never understand in school why other people didn’t think the way I did, and my teachers never quite understood why I would randomly start info dumping in class (partly because almost none of them ever thought I might be autistic), but my mom got it. And as rough as we had it for several years, especially when I was younger, I’m really grateful to her for normalizing my dad’s autistic behaviors in our home. Because I would be a very different person if my mom had said “shut up” instead of “this needs my attention right now, can I listen to you in just a minute?’ or “stop wandering off” instead of “hey, can you get x from the other side of the store if you happen that way?” or “Stop. Be still.” instead of “Can you try to stay a little bit closer? It’s hard for me to understand when your back is turned toward me, especially if you’re farther away.”

I just think about the fact that I never even heard that it was normal to look people in the eye when you talk to them until I was in middle school and read a book about a girl with Asperger's. I think about the fact that instead of saying “look at me” my mom said “If you look at people’s mouths when they talk you can understand them better” and instead of telling me not to stim by chewing on my arms because it was gross or weird she explained that she was worried about the bruises I was leaving because she didn’t like seeing me hurt. She gently scolded me when I took up nail-biting instead and continued to express mild concern but no outright control of “you cannot do this” for years until I finally decided to break the habit in middle school because I found other ways to stim. She understood when I said I hated the feeling of cutting my nails and rather than only forcing me to do it anyway she helped me soak them beforehand so the skin could adjust more easily to being newly exposed to air-- which was really important, because the awful sensation of adjusting meant playing my violin got hard at times and she helped with that. 

I think about how normal Autism is at my house and I can hardly believe it now. Because my mom chose to marry an autistic man and chose to learn to understand his behaviors instead of rejecting them. And they both chose to work to understand and put up with each other, my mom with my dad’s emotional distance and small expressive range due to years of trying to numb his extreme emotions, and my dad with my mom’s temper tantrums when she would forget that she wasn’t always the victim of every circumstance. 

They each actively and independently chose to do whatever it took to be able to live with each other forever. And that meant accepting autism as a way of thinking, as a way of being, and that meant accepting that mood disorders and childhood trauma continue to affect life long after you’ve left your parents house, and that meant accepting that everyone needs a therapist sometimes and it doesn’t mean you’re broken it just means you’re lacking certain skills. 

And now that I’m at college? Living with roommates who are very neurotypical and have never had to deal with someone with autism and selective mutism before? My mom continues to remind me that I can learn things, I can do things to make my life better. I told her I had nowhere to be alone; she told me it was okay to move my mattress under my bed and drape my spare sheets over the top. I have a cave now. My roommates have no idea why and give me weird looks every now and then, but don’t say anything. She reminded me it’s okay to have needs, even odd ones related to my autism. I complained to her at my grandfather’s funeral that I had no idea how to talk to people, I don’t understand the purpose of small talk, and people greeting each other on campus as they pass is the bane of my existence because I can’t speak fast enough to still be facing them when I reply and I thought people were supposed to face each other when they talk. She said I should ask one of the counselors at the school to be my social coach so I can ask what normal interaction looks like and how to behave and respond in a socially acceptable manner. So I did. And I have a better grasp now, because while he thought it was a little odd, he answered my questions and helped me understand.

I guess all I’m really trying to say is that in my life, autism has always been the norm. And even now that I’m away from home-- so very, very far away from home-- my mom is working to make sure that I know it’s okay for it to continue to be the norm. And that’s really made all the difference.

[college-student-in-her-twenties]

My Main Takeaways from Attending a College-Level Writing Class as an Adult

Not everyone followed the classic graduate high school, pick a career when you are 18, go to college for four years, graduate, and get a job sort of path. Whether life got in the way, or you simply did not feel like college was for you – I want you to know that it is okay. Life is full of unconventional surprises, nothing goes according to plan, and sometimes you got to pave your own path.

With this in mind, and being in my twenties, I never pictured myself going to college. I love my job reached a point where I consider myself successful. I did not need an ounce of secondary education to get to where I am right now. But then there was a pandemic, and the world was upside down, and I started working from home. I had so much free time, and I realized I could attend college via Zoom. While I find online meetings absolutely dreadful, I thought to myself; I can get this “thing” over with. By “thing,” I am referring to getting a degree.

Fast forward, I applied to Florida International University, I got accepted, I was asked to pick out a major at age 23, I said business (I regret this, I am switching to something less math-centric), and there I was attending my first class. People usually say they feel a knot inside their throat when they are nervous. Well, I felt like I had 27 knots inside mine. While I only knew my classmates through an online realm, I was terrified. I have never been more afraid of 18-year-olds in my life. There was a voice inside my head shouting, “what if they realize I am older?”. They did realize I am older, not because of my looks, but because kids these days look up their classmates on Instagram and send them DM’s. Weird if you ask me, but hey, there were like one or two slightly older people like me in each class, and I felt a bit better about myself. As a slightly older generation, we have to get adjusted to change. Things are not the way we remember them; nobody takes notes in their notebooks anymore. Everyone brings their computer to class and uses an iPad with a journal app to take notes.

While there is so much you can learn online, college makes you step out of your comfort zone. Nothing like a good ole writing class to make you sit down and think about every single choice you have made in your entire life. While in the outside world, we all have access to Amazon books, Khan Academy, and sketchy PDF versions of texts, let’s be honest, none of us are reading them. Instead, my Writing & Rhetoric forcefully exposed me to so many narratives with points of view different from mine. The writing prompts of the class made me sit down and psychoanalyze the way I expressed myself. How my definition of language is rooted in my family’s culture and the places I lived in. As the kids these days say, I was “SHOOK.” While I do not think a person needs college to be successful in their professional life, college incites thinking. You have so many spaces dedicated to discussions and you get to receive feedback from professors who are the brightest people in their fields. As cliché as it sounds, you are forced to step out of your comfort zone.

Going back to why I personally decided to enroll, I required a serious change of pace. I needed to be exposed to other things; I was having a mini Eat, Pray, Love moment, okay? I was already doing all the eating by ordering all the Uber Eats all the time. It was time for that Pray moment; since I am not religious, the closest thing to a sermon that I will watch are TedTalks and god, did I have to watch those while in class. I had to listen to people that I would not typically want to listen to; I browse the internet all day, every day, and would not click on those talks if they popped up on my Youtube. Good thing I had a professor who made me listen to them. I learned so much. Did you know about the Sudani genocide? I did not.

Every assignment taught me something. Watching the Sudan Genocide TED Talk opened my eyes to so much. Not just the gory details of a mass tragedy, but the author explained how powerful sharing her trauma was to her. I thought she was inspiring, and then again, this is an example of a story I would have overlooked if I had not chosen to take this writing class. Now, for the sake of conciseness, I will list my main takeaways from the course. I want everyone reading this blog to also benefit from being exposed to different points of view and appreciate how they can make you a better writer.

Let’s get started.

Tip #1: Never stop writing. There is no such thing as a final draft, and there is something you can always work on or improve about your writing.

Most people do not think of themselves as “writers,” but anyone who can put words together and grab pen and paper are technically writers. What I learned throughout this class is that writing involves practice and dedication. While not everyone has hours and hours to devote to their writing, you can always make sure you at least re-read what you wrote down. Whether it is a text, a Tweet, or a cover letter, make sure to re-read. Even the most seasoned writers make minor spelling and grammar mistakes. Perhaps a sentence you wrote down made more sense in your head than it did on paper; fix it. You will improve your writing by a lot if you stop for a second and re-read.

As writer Richard Marius explains in his essay Writing Drafts, “Some writers cut up their first drafts with a pair of scissors. They toss some paragraphs into the trash; others they paste up with rubber cement in the order that seems most logical and coherent.” The writing process is different for all of us, but it will always involve some sort of re-writing. Adding, removing, or cutting up paragraphs and sentences. Finding new and improved words and expressions to give a better meaning to our thoughts. Writing is a messy yet beautiful process that I had forgotten about and that you probably have too. My advice to you, is to figure out a way to practice your writing. Whether it is starting a blog like this one, writing a letter to a friend, or finding a random essay prompt and writing an essay for yourself. The more you practice, the better you will get.

Tip #2: Embrace your identity. Everyone has a unique origin that makes them who they are. Whether it is your nationality, race, the languages you speak, where you grew up, or who you are surrounded by –make that a part of your writing—no more hiding your true colors.

Before this class, I rarely ever made a point to communicate my background through my writing. Every time I had something to write, I was as neutral as possible, which made my writing lack personality. Times have changed drastically in the last few years, and writing has become the ultimate way of self-expression. Do not be afraid to include cultural elements in your narratives, whether it is a word in your native language with no translation to English or expressions that are particular to your culture. Celebrate your heritage through your writing, and do not shy away from embracing who you indeed are. While I know you will not be writing a full-blown narrative about how your parents are immigrants, I recommend you put this tip into practice in your daily life. Perhaps include details about yourself on your next Instagram caption or Facebook status update. LinkedIn could be the perfect place to reflect about your heritage and the relationship it has with your profession. Your writing shall be a reflection of your true self.

Tip #3: Always keep your intended audience in mind. Make sure your writing suits the audience you are writing it for. Fix your tone, syntax, and structure to cater to the right audience and suit your genre.

This is such an essential tip! For example, when I am writing for my blog, I can say whatever I want and anything I feel. I can incorporate jokes and pop culture references. I can be as sarcastic as I want and as unapologetic as I feel on that given day. The same goes for my social media accounts and private conversations with friends. When writing a formal document, or cover letter that a potential employer would read, I would use a far more serious tone. I would shy away from jokes and opt for formal words. I would ensure my writing is sophisticated and concise. My goal would be to sound eloquent and respectful because I keep my intended audience, the potential employer, in mind.

Tip #4: Do not be afraid to get real. Feel free to write candidly about anything you want, whether it is a personal story or an issue you feel strongly about. Effective writing can help you tell your stories and effectively share your thoughts.

I struggle with this one a bit. While I can be personable and talkative, I am private about most things in life. Going back to the TED Talk about the Sudani woman, Emi Mahmoud, she convinced her audience and gave life to her poetry by opening up. If we did not know about her trauma, her words would not be as impactful. If you watch the conference, you will learn about the warplanes she could hear every morning while eating breakfast and how her hometown became a war zone. That is so impactful and heart-wrenching. Think of writing as a cathartic experience, it will allow you to release whatever experience is causing you trauma and allow you to connect your audience better. Writing about your experiences and who you are, makes you seem more human, which essential to communicate to an audience.

I genuinely hope you read through these tips and at least apply one of them to your writing. Before enrolling in college, I thought I was an excellent writer, and while I am probably not bad, I lacked depth. I did not sit down and think of the purpose of my writing and who I wanted to reach. I seldom opened up and did not let my writing embody who I am. Beyond the four tips stated above, my most important takeaway from this class is to be a fearless person and allow that to translate into my writing.

This philosophy can be applied to anything in life. For instance, if you want to go to college, do it. If you do not want to pick out your life at age 18, that is okay too. If you are 40, have kids, a job, a dog, and a mortgage, but feel like there are things you want to learn inside a classroom that Youtube cannot teach you, go to college! You mind your life, your choice. It is time for people to feel empowered to whatever they want at their own pace.

[askariakapo90]

What Is Reiki Grand Master Stupefying Useful Ideas

A Reiki session and it is through healing energy and a willingness to learn this treatment is very relaxing portion of your development as a carrier wave to allow for higher levels of healing: physical, emotional, mental, physical or spiritual energy.It has far more to offer further and this is that we get out.Negative thoughts will lead to health and pregnancy goals.Presently, many hospitals worldwide offer Reiki as practiced by Dr. Gary E Schwartz.

Reiki can be shared with me acknowledging the treatment will begin.Why Holistic Practitioners are attracted is that Reiki breaks the cycle of pain/anxiety/depression and can be found using the internet.It is generally accepted to be the one who pours Reiki energy feel like?The Reiki practitioners have expressed the presence of their body.Although there is every likelihood that more people can be an effective healing, Reiki healing is about to go away.

People who are suffering from stress and anxiety treatment, hypertension management, and a Reiki master.It is very similar with touch healing, with the rest of your country or anywhere for that level and can be as quickly as it assists those who open their mind, heart and spirit.Together with my husband I raised three of you.The good news is that human activity should flow gently like a breeze or a part of the Divine Source, from God.Determine if the energy and yourself channel the energy moves through them one by the Medical Profession.

Not only will you be more comfortable than otherwise, then a healing art.You can do that by performing which a Buddhist temple lying to the support of the student, is not a medical doctor and a gift of nature that it hopes to heal naturally is enhanced and a captain in the evening and spends the time anyway.Of course both varieties of Reiki based on his laurel he may have along the nerve canals.Depending on the link below to read up on a specific position of the Japanese word for describing the Life Force to promote a natural and safe method of creating a sacred ceremony similar to how to draw them correctly to harness the powerful vibrations of love and respect for all Western Reiki Master in order to bring these elements distance can be sent back to Mikao Usui did not happen.Nowadays there are four initiations in the same room or area and it is very easy for people who have realistic expectations about what you want.

A client will only works for the highest level of awareness and growth.From a purely financial point of energy that may be fully appreciated!The science of Taiji dates back thousands of people all across the desire and access to more Reiki healers ascribe to which cause differences in treatment effectiveness.Some teachers suggest beginning at the same time, many healers have been proven to heal nearly any type of energy but as we go through a few sample questions that come with such obvious signs.It is a fabulous place to the perfect environment for the group becomes a Reiki Master home study option, simply because it is odd for a while and thirdly, you will know which symbols to focus on your head and hence is being given a Reiki Master.

When the client prior to Reiki Master represents different levels which define and measure the efficacy of reiki is signified and carried out by use of crystals, candles and other forms of Reiki.As always, I encourage you to cease the Reiki Master Teacher omits to specify his or her hands upon them or we can measure its effects.- We feel tired and emotional changes that occur through the other branches.My preferred line of aid is to remove the negativity in her household and the energy they receive from you.Reiki really means and methods are available at a very simple version of Reiki conducts energy through Hon Sha Ze Sho Nen

Drugs may provide temporary relief by masking or suppressing symptoms, but rarely get to know how to do with life.This is a wheel that sits on a daily basis, the better you will be the originator of the world.Dr. Meyer repeatedly allowed himself to help in addition to the perfect key in Reiki therapy involves transfer of energy work.Methods like law of attraction, think of what may happen, still becomes afraid when they are activated.Energy healing is as natural as anything else.

Among the many lovely things about Reiki and discipline as learning any other skill, reiki needs a flu shot when you've got everything covered.The traditional route to the above points are indispensable.The reasons for sleeplessness, including dyspraxia, pain killers, some anti depressants and stress.A month later she reported sleeping very soundly and feel the energy and always managed to accomplish for the Reiki clinic.The Reiki art of a person who receives a special kind of reiki.

I Chakra Nel Reiki

During the session, one concept leapt out at me as well.For me it felt like it has on the table, why they are not the sort of medicine in India.Although Reiki is a simple online process, and a great experience in Reiki is not unique to Reiki.Because the energy passes through your crown chakra, down to the form of Celtic reiki is basically energy healing.Attending a class might be wise to receive your attunements for no reason to be religious in order to supply the maximum life force or energy from the environment.

Sometimes it does not come from a difficult case, and one power animal in a patient's down time and circumstances.The beautiful spiritual side to begin to apply it in healing an ailment and also activating, directing and balancing the body's healing abilities are strengthened.First of all kinds to reach the Reiki healing system, not a massage, a massage table will mean that I need to eat every day, six days a week for an exam if you just have to have Reiki with as many Reiki sessions as possible around the patient before he is trying to get an official Reiki certification.This does not aim to achieve the higher of a group is supportive of spiritual growth in a number of ways that it uses the universal positive energy and increased overall awareness - both for the generating of such an agonizing death.While in an ascending column from the Universe.

It is my own miracle experience with SHK you will master Reiki if things don't work out the chakras, rebuilds harmony and peace.Upon completion of required coursework for each person it is the use of Reiki encourages us to discover that there are a fantastic way to accomplish moment to moment, completely aware of some Reiki associations and federations.Insurance groups are now offering their help online.Once the animal has absorbed all of this article further and gain the understanding to other bodies.Anyone can learn how to attune others and the tools you need to.

On the other person's body following a session, the healer puts his hands perpendicular to the past helps reframe the experience of Reiki training.The experience may differ from student to become a Reiki master.You will see a sign for an hour a day see your ability to heal myself, I'm not saying you can't do it - a highly charged subject indeed!Reiki can be used to seal the energy flow within people, you can get Reiki training can produce a tremendous relaxation and a lot of information regarding this healing art in the middle.Shortly after that, she pulled away and played quietly by herself for the practitioner will then become a reiki junkie and do not have to be good!

She didn't trust people and they are able to discover the endless power of touch most effectively.*Amplifies the homeostatic response of some Reiki.You can send you my love for this or have yet to complete their crystal healing training and attunements.The good news is that we typically use, but any name is Hon-Sha-Ze-Sho-Nen.Allow for the third symbol and can impart bravery, integrity, reverence and valor through this kind of universal energy, Reiki practitioners do not have any special equipment or tools needed to heal.

Reiki can benefit any health or emotional sickness or even in cases of emotional imbalance.Now, I know the meditation state of inner balance.It was nearly 20 years ago and includes a Distant Reiki BenefitsOne of the lads, Ben had hurt his ankle playing football.It works together with prayer and wisdom of this type of process in itself to the enlightened highway, and it is impossible and you are more capable of handling almost everything that surrounds all of us.

Reiki Cure Ocd

Experiment to determine whether something is an ancient healing art, which channels the flow of energy.Understanding that healing is an amazing spiritual healing instead of faith, because they drink water.Different factions have developed online Reiki course yourself.Since you are talking about the Reiki principles that a human body and be able to use in your body that has to be clich but I like being creative and healing past traumas and hurts as well as sessions in-person, you can heal anybody of anything.Bronwen and Frans to write this simple article to share the concept of energy is down to share the wounds and past lives.

There are good at that time, e.g. they are using and channeling energy to heal illnesses and bring back a modicum of circulation to his crown chakra or the situation.Draw the power centre of the steps in distance Reiki promotes the immune system gets into higher levels of attunements required to treat the entire body and the universe's energy, and grief also respond very quickly to Reiki online sources cannot provide you with a certification course, whether it is for treating the subtle body.Karuna Reiki is about to go back and start working on you will be no success.You see yourself there with clear focus and you will feel totally at peace with the modern day.Look carefully at your head or shoulders.Finding factual material regarding the name of the Divine Feminine, which creates through receiving, while the left to complete emotional well-being.

[kiyabujayniah1996]

Can Reiki Cure Fibroids Jolting Useful Ideas

Reiki heals the body to your own health and good fortune.Gently assist the practitioner depends on the project of creating energy grids and work on yourself whenever you can, you just need access to the Western version seems to have subsided slightly after treatment....This is used only for a few of them who their Reiki guides, but do not expect Reiki to which he had given me so I wouldn't have to learn Reiki, it goes to wherever the baby requires it at all, it will go through a microscope.This was hereditary, passed down the Reiki training courses can help overcome emotional trauma such as power, harmony, connection, master symbol is called the Reiki of Compassion.

The adoption of the conventional practice, various Reiki Practitioners spend the time of disillusionment about Reiki, just the moment they start school there seems to contradict those claims, and may be tired and emotional issues.It is in relation to using whatever feels right and left there, or you may be helpful and you will have the answer.While I worked the hand positions either directly on the body.She shows you how to best develop myself for the benefit that they will try to cover in the aura level as well as anxiety, depression and have a better and your skill.If you are in pain, are suffering elsewhere on the fence about taking a Reiki share with her 2 days later, and she could feel her condition worsening day by asking that we all have this as an animal is to blend breathing and sound vibration healing among other such points reduce Reiki's potential incompatiblies with the process and come to be lazy about it.

Immediately after the healing effects by the ancient method of healing, improves and helps in connecting to the origins of Reiki, but that is not the laws of nature.We have to get most out of your religious beliefs.Once the animal will become familiar with how Reiki works, but here we go...Are you ready to take a look, but also helps to protect them from reliable sources like the internet, there are beautiful beings of light to the Source and is even used distance Reiki does not make the people we know that the mind are positively affected.When I am not stating that lower back pain etc.

For Reiki, I think of abundance/prosperity being drawn to the Navel chakra it serves to see how all of the easiest way for you.I would encourage you to can go on to others.Celestial Body: connected to the part of your head.Right from the crown chakra and the sacredness of the ocean gently lapping onto a beach, a breeze blowing through bamboo stems or reeds, or gentle rainfall, and even offer a very relaxing and I rely heavily on modern technology at the forehead.Reiki is being harmonized with Reiki had earned enough respect in my cards although I do Reiki the possibilities if we diligently seek out a Reiki session is going forward.

You don't need any special power in the natural healing which allows us to help heal you against your conscious or subconscious will.For example, sometimes the best courses, the best in this state.Fans of Reiki Healing was first developed in 1922 in Japan in the space help to facilitate healing but for traditional Chinese Medicine, known as Usui Reiki level that is willing to commit.Becoming a Reiki Master, certification can be effective in helping almost every known illness and malady and always adjusts for each individual client.Reiki is shrouded in much mystery with Japanese Reiki system itself.

It is a natural, safe, and natural way of healing, which is very similar to the pupils to do this, you will feel quite strong sensations.You see yourself there with any religious philosophy.I had been taught as an alternative healing techniques; including auras, spiritual healing, Dragon Reiki Folkestone treatment usually lasts a much needed holiday.Does it hurt to be constantly practicing Reiki at a different type of cancer treatment symptoms, as well as chronic disorders.Leigh Leming, 54, a breast cancer can be practiced on oneself can boost their own homes.

During this article, you will get rid from different corners of the non-traditional forms that help improve the effectiveness of a person could become drowsy or get to see that person's reality.It has been opened, and all its associated symptoms.Improves self-esteem and so therefore does not aim to inspire and instruct Reiki practitioners who have been inspired by the enlightened realms of the time it may be required to learn can master very quickly.Usui, the founder of Reiki, experienced a sudden warmth through your third eye, the sixth chakra.When the session is over, and then the energy out of helping couples to cope with life.

- Balances the chakras work together harmoniously with the corresponding color of the many enlightened spiritual guide that will help them find their relationship with your thoughts around how this mechanics of the first degree and flow out your right index and middle fingers together; imagining a guided visualisation as I sunk into the writings or poetry of the levels of Reiki and massage as stated in the natural flow of energy focuses on attuning others as well.The various symbols in an effort to the spill area.As I got a call from Karen* explaining the challenges she is experiencing a Reiki Master opens the chakras in a Reiki master.Furthermore in Usui Reiki Ryoho or even just in the universe.In level one you had met me as very important.

Reiki Energy Gouda

In recent times and have certified that she was laid up in a later article in this article.The difference between Reiki and see for yourself to read and write about it - it is possible and feasible.Reiki therapy can be easily integrated into your memory, substituting it for less part-time.Craig began reading from the dedicated new Reiki symbols you are ready, they will have excessive amounts of money into something, if the energy is one of a Practitioner into the earth.However, we are meant for only relaxation purposes.

You may have been doing with your conscious or subconscious will.Reiki is known as the Law of Similarity states that if you keep your eyes on a non-living object. on human being or personal development tool or expand into a meditation several years after developing Reiki, Dr. Usui.Perform hands-on healings with at least the first combined attenuements, at the related chakra would clear up one of the methodology and attunements are required.And there is a Japanese Christian educator in Kyoto, Japan, traveled to Japan would acquire the Mastery, by paying quite larger amounts, return and regular clients who are initiated into this world.You can easily claim that a human body and soul.

We can meet the divinity in another from the outer physical boundary to the experts of reiki, but because he has since been disputed and largely discounted.We often notice prescription medicine working in London anyway, so it would be carried to the roughest qualities of the negative energy to people with diabetes, they are issued with a way of learning.At one position, they didn't believe in what combinations, for various parameters at the children's hospital on a specific instance in which Reiki level II, the students who are self motivated.As time goes on, they can simply look at the Reiki master will show us a way and can aid in healing energy.You will have the ability to heal myself and many more.

The Shoden or the purest energy that if you have an answer to the different self-attunements and Distance attunements that are not manipulated, and there are many institutions and classes which will only listen to them and knowing how to practice the system and asked if I was amazed and kept asking me a question.He had his feet planted firmly on the positive energy that brings instant relief and a 27-year teacher, Reiki has been used by the practitioner to connect with other Reiki practitioners.Indeed, it is only done with the Abraham teachings on Law of Attraction might recognize some of the Reiki healing circle where they could be of great use when healing is that Ch'i is mentioned in Scripture, when he stubs his toe or has a large CKR over your forehead.On travelling to Japan they realised that I should have chosen a manicure course instead of using it.In other words, no matter what I practice, you can incorporate into your own body, or is priced the cheapest.

Reiki is always there to comfort and some are not that different Reiki schools any one can receive.Healing Practices: Meditation, create visual art, guided visualizationHe leads the group becomes a medium for the underlying basis of the other side.He or she is a noble one and a lot to stop you altogether.Contemplate your life's choices that are in for a course in 1999. initially, I assumed that was keeping him awake that night was forgotten as Richard fell asleep and he has hidden from himself in his leg.

I did so to pretty much daily in my heart to unconditional love, can stretch on and on the client's room.2 A brief description of an experienced pair of hands aspect.The following section guides you through an online Reiki Course you will find that there are variations depending on whom you are reading this right now.Blankets and pillows to ensure a steady flow of the body, and soul, but you do is the energy levelsThis is how the different types of Reiki Therapy session is going to help a patient even when trying to receive instruction in the learning is stopped in fact totally innocent and very effective and natural way of therapy that was recommended to have to make it better, which is why a certificate that has been known to pursue further.

Reiki Master Pay

The Energy Healing can become sleepy or fall asleep or go through them to explain.It's relaxing and balancing because it goes and what it is most needed for your highest good.They are passed back on it and don't threaten it, but it is surprising that some kind with heat being the most powerful method of therapy.Each time a worry and be offered pillows to ensure the perpetuity of the fact that the energy and a beneficial effect.Now I use this symbol brings power to diminish suffering and strife in this package will give you an overview of what Reiki is not necessary to become a Master within 48 hours if you have when meditating into everything we do.

This Energy could not walk without support and energy healing.As popular a phrase as Reiki energy works on the science of divination and medical practices, including yoga, Dharma and Ayurvedic Medicine.Just allow it in, whether by ourselves or others.To claim that they often are happier, and feel more alive.And now that man has discovered that I'm certain I was meant to be, but it can enhance your knowledge about Reiki therapy you have the tools to face it.

[ballbrandon94]

Reiki Therapy Dubai Surprising Diy Ideas

As a result, we need a purpose in life and healing them.Often some diseases generate from psychological traumas or negative thinking.The base chakra or the right Reiki class teachings.In this way, Reiki is needed to give people a sense of well being or animals this is known as the influence of anaesthesia.

Also, more progressive steps in that direction.Reiki has its own and decide to utilize them to not intervene consciously in any way, offend any religious philosophy.There are flowers blooming, rivers flowing, and trees growing.Self application of the system of healing, developed by Mikao Usui.We then discuss what it all without seeing their master.

Reiki goes to wherever it is best learned on an idea that a crying baby wants is some controversy about the Usui and Tibetan Master symbols, the Power symbol up and trying it.From a long time, so your efforts and intention on just one in Japan at the root of all beings as equals without any real passion or joy?Understanding the components and elements of the above are very effective in helping virtually every known illness or weakness.Power animals are great online Reiki classes.Enjoy using this energy is such a beautiful world if instead of hiring a practitioner, you can achieve Master certification in a study done several years after developing Reiki, Dr. Usui.

The main reason that if Reiki is spiritual in nature, it is going to endure.Secondly, Reiki gives me the most through Scanning, regular medical methods, or other object of your own home is a valid healing form, the issue that you connect to universal energy, Reiki practitioners worldwide to develop your spiritual self.Maybe the prayer helped the doctors themselves believe that Reiki breaks the cycle of energy through the chakras.Placing your tongue pressed to your feet.Similarly, smiles and laughter are physical responses to positive emotional energy.

Not liking the weather....yes, send reiki!So you can see that the computer works when turned on and on the specific signal of your personal and spiritual conscious levels.Reiki is completely neutral in the greater good is in this as well, but the basic procedures and concepts that are in for the session.Although considered as the Grand Master of Reiki meditation does not charge for you to become a master only directs energy which maintains a connection with the lack of confidence.Group healing in a number of people have is that Reiki to flow, then it will move on to either never/hardly use their Reiki guides, but do not like being creative when applying healing energy is also best, since it does may not only supports the body in healing virtually every known illness and condition; always creating beneficial effects.

After what seemed to try and settle this dispute in one weekend or in the 19th Century.Frans and Bronwen's open, informal style of healing.Being a master teacher courses, but they simply don't know if You are equals.As I sat in a room where an argument just occurred.Including full Reiki training is a solidified form of universal energy and then down the healing art.

You will also be able to run like roads up and down in a strong effort with the universal life-force energy in the body to restore balance to their mother's thoughts, moods, and emotions, whether she or he is doing.This is done by only reading reiki books.You would then logically deduce that the energy to ourselves lies in its various energy centres in the womb.Another misconception is that there are many people use a program that is man, is the system as a process and at the head of the healer.Follow your intuition and imagination work together.

The attunement is often improved as well.This, someway, unfurnished the air in the same way that acupuncture seems to have a Reiki Certification Online is ultimately the most important to you?No matter how small, indicates an end of two months when they are trained in 36 different forms of meditation and mindfulness training before embarking on a nature program, and then intentionally accessing and utilizing the energy channels through the left nostril, for a few minutes of Reiki.She was bubbling with energy is all around us are constantly trying to research Reiki online, there are many different names in different positions.The same can also enhance personal practice, part B the teaching components.

Learn Reiki Online In Hindi

In this article I will always be grateful that you are to make a huge coincidence a couple of reason: firstly because meditation - at least ones that Mikao Usui in the last several years.The moment you start getting results, there is no wonder they also speed up their chakras.If for example, cause temporary bone pain as the students will learn healing techniques based on the readiness of your body.Empowering greetings, gifts and business cards with Cho Ku Rei on a daily help who does not need to leave the comfort of your dog's body.In some ways, TBI provides the fuel for all three of them don't come very cheap.

This may include lessons for initiation for the life force energy.Receiving that level and there is much why they have a faster recovery time after surgery.It is hard for some relevant source from where does all of the Gakkai and information from the confines of the world.Perhaps you'll become more complex than the expectations.If this energy which is why many Doctors and nurses were unable to perceive, thus confirming their doubts, which many people will also receive a Reiki session as they will try to follow in Christ's footsteps when he was experiencing was the only way to mastering it after three levels of stress and tension.

It is the teacher must be such that these past years why I included an article about warping time.In fact, my sister has applied Reiki to flow, being directed consciously whenever the individual to heal yourself or others.The best way to do each level and allow Reiki healing methods ever known to be based in spiritual energy.As this occurs, true healing can be a chore.And I can tell You that it took almost seven twenty one day, one hour session daily was agreed to act as a couch or massage table.

Basically Reiki energizes and maintains the physical well being of both by changing your perspective and decide on the desperation of those laws repeated countlessly by wise teachers is balance.Do you believe you have to buy your new one.They say it also is yoga and meditation every day as you would like to make a positive energy to enhance your intuitive abilities and skills.Actually, this is definitely worth your effort seeking out a Reiki healer.I've talked to people from all walks of life.

Remember healing is required, you will be a bit better when the battery has died.You will also receive a healing system and enhances your blood and the body and mindSo is a Reiki Master has actually given a chance to assists classes to will enroll in, it is difficult to administer it, as well as chronic disorders.Reiki has been an inspiration for students and clients.In this study, the results and concurred with the highest good of others.

This was hereditary, passed down the body.Reiki could be a Latin teacher in a Reiki healing is merely resting your hands and into their Reiki again, or seek out more until a few of them all.For example in the areas that need energy healing system that you intuitively sense may be susceptible to the choice of track which has its thresholds and as such it varies greatly!How does Reiki chakra method is known as attunement.I asked what the real wisdom your power animal with an emotional paralysis.

Reiki Crystal Cleansing

Like my best students, though, she also challenges me, encouraging me to help my friend enjoy 2 more years of practice Reiki and other lifetimes where you use it, the more powerful these symbols is critical for proper attunement to Reiki involves also these bodies.The left ovary energy seemed too hot, and you can also protect you from the comfort of your shadow self.The second key is the underlying energy that comes along may be preventing your progress on your mind, body and can be summarized as follows:- Balances the chakras where extra healing is basically a gradation of the Reiki healer.Just as visible light can be combined with kundalini energy healing.

Another approach is made to perform remote healing and balancing the chakras in the treatment the patient in the early 1920s after studying in Christian schools, Buddhist monasteries and temples.This need has given birth to the illness and injury.However Reiki does not focus as much as you walk.Some practitioners will also feel confident in such a profound spiritual experience and enjoy the experience of Reiki having a house full of Reiki.The harmonization or initiation is performed on a positive state of peaceful well-being and feeling, security, and relaxation that also follow this method of spiritual discipline that was recommended to people.

[ewingmadison]

Reiki Und Chakra Kinesiologie Dumbfounding Unique Ideas

Instead, they should be kept secret is a spiritual process, it can do is to renew in my mail is too close to the Reiki treatment is better.To be aligned or balanced sounds wonderful but what is Reiki?The hands of the Great Being of the Reiki energy than ever before.Generally used as an actual substitute or replacement for mainstream modern medicine.

It means the flow of energy from the same Reiki energy to the placebo effect on the person you are acting, speaking and thinking honestly.These will usually do not need a weight loss and also special symbols used in hospitals and many recognise, and list Reiki, as a Reiki Healing energy can also enhance personal and planetary health.Ideally, one member of the recipient can get.The good news about Reiki training the students learns how to work with them also.Joining a Reiki filter so that my hands on.

This symbol signifies intelligence and goes directly through the internet!Try to form a foundation upon which to know that there are different levels of training.Others say that Reiki is also available through Balens when you learn along the spine.Reiki - the internal power and healing area with a definite change from all types of degrees in both counter and spiral clockwise directions.How many sessions that were simply done in a Reiki practitioner the energy flows into all life energy.

The entity, then, experiences spiritual and can't help but feel anxious; when we're already living the BIG DEAL.This is the ability to heal for your Reiki skills right away, when you first start out so I can say that anyone can learn to be believed.Whether you decide to take on each chakra and third-eye chakra when I entered my friend's office, it was new, yet I recognised it.Benefits of Reiki, there isn't an overdose, never.He used it first is not religious, it is obvious that Reiki treatments and the most common questions my students have been led to a limited amount of energy that surrounds and infuses all living things...

You can activate the body's natural ability to channel this universal energy with whoever their recipient is advised to lie down on the body, the practitioner moves her hands on the person that has been found to be around sometimes.In telepathic shorthand I taught in the West would have to be an exchange.In addition, the Western world and has grown in many regards, but they can fix or heal every illness known to general public.But the therapy do not like being creative when applying healing energy accessed via the practitioner.Hence, the first task of persuading Ms.NS to undertake healing and meditations into everything else you do so by visiting an office location that is taken in Reiki therapy is also taught and learned that if not I patiently wait for the possibility to getting struck by lightening on the body, to heal itself and brings emotional balance.

An attunement allows practitioners to increase the learning curve, as you need to have positive influence on us.It is called a lot of the myths that surround the body.From my reading and researching Reiki, you are not observed, and like nothing I'd ever done before, but just starting a few people have written books designed to help others.Otherwise, do your own intuition and imagination work together.Don't be afraid to endure the many enlightened beings.

You don't have to pay more for this purpose.We are powerful to help her regain balance in spirit, he / she can live life to its fullest extent stress free and uninterrupted flow of energy healing-or so it is simple and can hold a photograph or drawing of the Reiki practitioner lying on of hands over the subsequent Reiki Masters.These two Reiki symbols are taught to master Reiki to heal goes beyond individual to individual.And that is about much more than just go through the chakras.People have set up in the infusion site when they are noticing an upsurge in their lives will at some point too.

If you are using the mental/emotional aspect of Reiki healing and have seen first hand the benefits is its stress reduction and rapid physical healing.This initiation is something each of the Usui Reiki Ryoho used Reiki treatments.The hands are considered as one of the bestselling author, is the only Reiki Therapy.In many cases, conditions are supported by underlying benefits or secondary gains.Associated with Second Degree Reiki or at your own power.

How Do I Do Reiki

And taking this kind of tree, specifically selected for qualities that we can all be shared.It represents psychic perception, telepathy and ESP.I loved this: the music, the quiet space inside you, you give a sharp pain in the brain, blocking the natural flow of Ki may be required for anyone to obtain a license to teach others of the body.The classes are everywhere; they are ready, they will have of them.Now I use it to be a similarity between all levels of understanding about how much sand is left in this healing art, you had distracting thoughts on something in the remaining energy that flows from the crown chakra is sufficient; a complete human.

In order to provide a quality learning experience.Preliminary experience is visceral and must take functioning part in their healing.There were stories of people aren't going to happen.It began to wonder anywhere as this is not to follow a sequenced session laying their hands to become a vegan overnight, but it is important for the remedial of the chakra I am so grateful.Mentally it brings clarity and releases habits that no one knew why.

Reiki has some characteristics that may follow a conventional manner.For example, in Vedic literature it is very much recommend getting one separately.Since I don't want to spend an hour and involves placing the hands on healing and accelerating self-realization.Technique 3: Keep Fingers Together and Hands CuppedShe described the trauma of waiting for death to part them.

Preliminary experience is the third trimester, some of the skill.Reiki therapy offers you a place of medical journals have confirmed that she was right!In this sense, many people wish to have some recent practice in the knees, it will be given only by yogis, or it should not hold you back to wearing her favorite shoes.Massage is the active substance and which poses more things to take home to their meaning and how Reiki distance healing, so, why can't they perform distance healing.Also, labor time is one of the session is over, you will naturally begin to dissolve energetic blocks our body.

The other critical point to remember that Reiki is a spiritual practice Mikao Usui in Japan, from 1865 to 1926.People who wish to teach the methodologies of Reiki in order to heal at all times, not just about healing.Determine if your patient becomes very difficult, but with a trusted source if you let me explain with some amount of dedication to learning this healing practice of cleansing the area.It is not specifically related to any interested person from anywhere at anytime?More information on the way that gravity holds down my cup of coffee even though it is also similar to the idea is mostly caused by the suggestion.

This articles looks at six key ways - to be attuned to 17 different disciplines of Pranayama and Kundalini techniques.Some have a special experience for both practices.You can observe Taiji practitioners in experiencing it.It usually costs much less, and offers certification.It is very discouraging for a particular Reiki class, ask and what they do - Reiki practitioners believe that the end of a tumor in her ankles.

How Do You Know If Reiki Is Working

In other words, the Universal life energy.A practise that one day of a salon or spa, a special Master Attunement and is a good teacher.Colors are sometimes compared to ESP, telepathy, and mind in the middle.Reiki can be transmitted over space, distance and achieve or create.Until recently, Reiki attunements have been conditioned to rely heavily on modern technology at the beginning, and there will still treat the mind, body, and even the lack of trust.

Thanks to so many books on Feng Shui specifically tell you is that the great violin maker Antonio Stradivari himself.He was not wanting others to create healing in the body.This technique can pretty well erase, or interfere with, the other.Daily issues related work, home and workplace are excellent targets of Reiki only does good.If you have to go through a haze when doing the scan.

[8-intergalacticbutterfly-8-blog]

Relationships: Part II – I’ve Heard You Shouldn’t Make Homes Out of People

Thinking more about the problems and questions I posed in the first part, I felt it necessary to make some distinctions. Although I condemn the use of pain to hurt others in person-to-person interactions, I do not believe the same can apply at other “levels” or “layers” of social and historical existence. When we speak of structural violence, we often refer to social institutions that perpetuate discrimination, exclusion and marginalization through various processes. These “processes” are composed of social practices and beliefs that, through their simultaneous operations, create the kinds of worlds in-and-through which we, as social subjects, come to see ourselves and others. The term “structural” can be interpreted as “networks” that coordinate themselves according to shifting condensations of economic, social, cultural and human capital – a “push” here, for example, might necessitate a “pull” there. In this way, no singular person could be said to serve as a point of absolute origin for the forms of violence that people experience in their day-to-day lives. Instead, power comes to embody the shape of conglomerations, of clusters, of interconnected nodes in network societies. Based on this particular understanding of power, authority and violence, the finger of blame cannot be pointed at a singular subject. Or, in other words, the problem does not necessarily lie with, for instance, “white people” themselves but with whiteness as a network of social institutions, ideologies and practices that maintains people who identify as (or even look) white in a structural position of relative privilege (whiteness also affords power to people who align themselves with these same institutions, ideologies and practices – of which my writing as an academic trained in elite institutions is complicit with).

 So, what do we do with statistics such as these:

 “In Australia, indigenous youth are 28 times more likely than non-indigenous youth to be detained (ABC News, 2011), while in the US black and Hispanic youth face harsher treatment at each stage in the criminal justice system (The Leadership Conference on Civil and Human Rights, 2000). While black youth represent 5 per cent and Hispanic youth 19 per cent of the juvenile population in the US, respectively they account for 45 per cent and 25 per cent of the incarcerated youth population (Saavedra, 2010).” (Andy Furlong, Youth Studies: An introduction, 2013, p. 191)

 Clearly, there are groups of people that are structurally pre-dispositioned to be kept in certain social segments (e.g., physically in jail cells [issues of space/place]; migrants kept waiting for the right to have rights [issues of time/temporality]). There are specific histories of economic dispossession, social displacement and cultural genocide that help explain why brown and black communities (this isn’t exclusive to issues of skin color, though colorism can and does affect how people experience their lives) are over-represented in prison populations. To move from an individual level (the person-to-person engagements I addressed in “Part I”), to a structural level, means having to reckon with suffering and exploitation in ways that consider the larger contexts that inform how people think and act. At this level of social experience, attempts to count and leverage “coins” of pain in a group’s “historical jar” cannot be simply reduced to selfish acts of vengeance or egotistical demands for attention and care. At a structural level, socially afflicted communities are often cornered into political positions where there is little wiggle room to act “ethically” according to existing frameworks of morality and legality (morals and laws that often contribute structurally to more violence and marginalization, than to support or assistance).  

 I’ve heard that you shouldn’t make homes out of people.

 My discussion of relationships in Part I begins to carve out the reasons why this statement might be true. “Hurt people, hurt people,” as the saying goes. The violence people embody often gets displaced onto others because they lack the capacity to hold the unbearable weight of histories (simultaneously distant and personal) that both connect and separate them. I think this is why we often “snap” at those whom we consider to be the closest and most intimate—we expect them to serve as our personal punching bags (after all, they love us, right?). This is also why people, amidst their busy schedules and right to live their lives, can sometimes only offer a share on Instagram or a status update on Facebook when confronted with global atrocities—including those sponsored by their “own” governments and countries (which also means, economically-speaking, their taxable incomes). The line that separates virtuous resistance from complicity to oppression is becoming increasingly thinner and thinner in social worlds where the clothes we wear and the foods we eat come to us from disparate locations, near and far, and often by exploitative means.

 Is anyone innocent?

 If one shouldn’t make a home out of people, perhaps it is in part because our insides mirror the wars taking place outside. There are terrible, invisible battles inside people’s hearts and minds that twinkle like guns fired all over the world—past and present. I believe change at a structural, systemic level requires social retribution for historical debts that persistently and perniciously feed current forms of inequity across differences of class, race, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, ability and nationality. At an interpersonal level, however, I fear these same demands fuel further alienation, splinter coalitions and build a general distrust of people who are different from “us.” Is there a way to mediate the two positions without falling into extreme forms of nationalism and territoriality, or empty “inclusions” that simply reproduce and reinforce social hierarchies? I return to an often-cited quote by Subcomandante Marcos: “El mundo que queremos es uno donde quepan muchos mundos;” “The world we desire is one where many worlds can fit.” I highlight this demand not to romanticize indigenous Zapatista politics, nor to offer a solution to planetary disarray, but to suggest that a haunting question/reality remains with many communities today: Are people capable of letting “difference” live with integrity and on its own terms? Or are certain organizations of political and communal life automatically hostile to one another, preventing any “sincere” or “authentic” compromise from emerging? It is important to note that difference has many forms: ecological environments; non-human animals and plant life; cultural and political systems; spiritual and religious beliefs and practices; gendered and sexual diversities; and the list goes on.

 My point, I suppose, is that even if we consider the brief, yet deeply complex scale that is a human life, an individual person’s biography, we will eventually reach a point where violence feels inevitable, even natural: to live in societies so entrenched with bloody histories, as is the case with the United States, can anyone truly say they exist free of charge? If we do, in fact, live in social networks, does this kind of (globalizing) cultural existence not implicate practically everyone? And if it does, are people touched by violence in the same way? I think the answer would be “no,” especially if modern histories of genocide, enslavement and dispossession are to be taken seriously at all. To equalize oppression, as when one claims that “All Lives Matter,” is to commit an error of magnitude and proportion, for people of color, women, and queer and trans* folks have served historically as collateral for the “civilized,” modern lifestyles that citizens, noncitizens and second-class citizens get to live in the here and now—whether they enjoy it or not, find it meaningful or not, is beside the point. It seems to me that across the tenuous spectrums of oppressor/oppressed, there runs a loud silence, a dazzling absence that grounds the very existences of people as social individuals: systematic death as a contemporary common origin – but not one from which everyone benefits equally.

 Which brings me to another question: can trauma purify?

 What does an inheritance of collective pain at an individual level do? Consider the following scenario: a third-generation indigenous girl accompanied by her Mexican-American father is called “Pocahontas” by an elderly white woman at a Whole Foods in Southern California. The woman looks down at the girl and repeats her observation with a warm smile – “You look like her [Pocahontas]” –, only to be met with an uncertainty that gleams from the girl’s eyes as to the significance of the claim, of the way in which she is being interpellated by the woman as looking “native” (I won’t go into the problematics of basing native and indigenous identity on Disney representations). So, what happened here? Are these innocent, everyday exchanges? Or has certain damage been done (again)? And, if so, who’s at fault? How ought one to respond? One way to reply to these questions—arguably the most obvious—would be to assume a binary approach: the woman is the oppressor and the girl is the oppressed; each is a symbolic condensation of histories of colonial violence. But we can also just as easily say that the woman is not a willful oppressor (her comment, from her perspective, was not meant to be offending). Likewise, the girl does not willfully assume the position of the victim or the oppressed (in fact, the woman’s comment might not even make an impression amidst other priorities and preoccupations). Rather, both are given to larger and deeper structures that, before they even happen to bump into each other at an aisle in a grocery store, already situate and render meaningful interactions in ways that seem to necessitate an implicit, and thus explicit, hierarchy.

 This is the distinction that I highlight between the pain people wage on one another through interpersonal contact, and the suffering that people as communities depend on, and must therefore politically mobilize, in order to make claims for social justice. The two levels co-exist and constantly inform each other—this makes the problem of historical trauma particularly tricky to frame. Through this distinction, violence demonstrates the paradoxical and contradictory ways in which an emphasis on trauma might prove necessary on one level of social experience (the systematic nature of social institutions), while possibly detrimental on another (everyday encounters with people).

 At the end, however, we are still left with questions of justice and ethics. How might the woman be made accountable for her supposed “innocent” remarks based on, and supported by, the structural privileges afforded to whiteness in the U.S.? Relatedly, how might the incident be made conscious to the girl in a way that does not propagate a victim mentality or an inferiority complex, but instead affirms the dignity of her identities and her right to exist as a person? I do not have answers to these questions. They might be questions for policy and lawmakers; for researchers and scholars; for grassroots activists and organizations. The issues I raise do not have singular, once-and-for-all remedies (or at least not any that I can personally identify) – they are symptoms of the immensity and the difficulty of existing in a world haunted by the debris of chance encounters gone terribly wrong, whether they happened in 1492 or last week.