it's so easy to find someone attractive, but it's harder to find someone who's in tune with their emotions and knows how to regulate it?? like finding someone emotionally stable, or at the very least, knows how to communicate what they need is so very difficult.
not saying i'm the perfect example of that, but just Trying is enough, you know? being unable to communicate or being mature about what you need and can give a partner is the quickest way to turn me off, honestly. it's just so simple and clear-cut to me, and when someone else can't meet me there, it's just immediately a no from me.
it's not my job to fix someone or change them. i mean, yeah, i can communicate how i feel with someone, but if they can't or won't address the issue, i just don't feel like it's worth sticking around. my mental health deserves better. *i* deserve better.
i think about this a lot actually, and it all comes back down to, like, the bare minimum. people settle for the bare minimum literally every single day. i hear "oh, but they're nice and funny" all the damn time. okay??? and??? so your partner is playing limbo with a bar in hell. good! great! but you deserve so much more than that?? why should you be settling for less??
every and all relationships are a two way street. it's a give and take system. you should be able to talk to each other, and if not, that's something to reflect on.
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Hi kingjasnah, can I ask why you don't post cosmere stuff very often anymore?
ummm ok sure. tbh the big nebulous reason is that it's not always easy to be a person of color in this space. i don't take a lot of what people say online seriously and I never have (which is probably why ive been on this blog so long), like im secure enough in my offline life to tbh not worry about it and my experience of these books is solely personal. which i recommend to everyone. but sure the last few years have been a little grating like i think there's a reason most of the mutuals of color i had in 2020 (and before) have um moved tf on as they say. im not going to expand on this LOL if you were here you know what i mean
the slightly chiller reason is just very simply that none of the releases since ROW have captured my interest as much? the ssps were cute but whatever. im personally not an era 2 person but i love a lore dump so lost metal was fun for that reason. when the next stormlight preview season starts I plan to be fully back on my bullshit I will be posting I will be keeping up with things I will be theorizing but I'm not here to do that 24/7 in the off season anymore
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Listen i just want to preface this by saying I don't even personally hate Tommy, but that's not really the point i want to make so here goes nothing.
The way a lot of people act as if it's impossible to dislike him because the characters have moved on so so should we, right? and that's the thing right here, as poc we're always being told to move on. We can't express our feelings, we can't hold grudges, we can't complain about issues without making it something more than it is, we always have to just... move on.
I know people are going to say it's just a show, it's not that serious, but the issues it touches on and the way fandom speaks on those issues are.
I've seen a lot of comparisons between Tommy and other mains, how each of them are flawed and have screwed up one way or another, and you're right, but it's still unfair to compare him to them. We've seen each of the main characters experience guilt, or be ashamed of their action, we've seen them apologise, put in the work to actually grow, and they have. There's not enough time in an episode for us to see that for side characters. In this case, Tommy didn't do any of the above and that's normal, he was a plot device to show some very real societal issues, and especially what people of colour/women might go through in the workplace, and once he served his purpose he didn't get much more beyond a few scenes where it seemed like everything was fine between him and chim/hen. It would be more appropriate to compare him to the buckley parents, (who appeared in more or less the same amount of episodes) like if people suddendly started saying no one is allowed to hate them because they got their redemption, their kids more or less forgave them, they more or less tried to be better parents. And yet it's still not enough for a lot of people, because how they treated their children, the shit they've said to them, hits a little too close to home for a lot of people and so no matter what the show says or does, they'll still be mostly hated by the audience, and that's more than okay. But if margaret buckley is your favourite character than by all means be my guest. And listen, i love this show, it's all about hope, and it means everyone gets a redemption arc, as short as it is (sometimes even just a sentence lol), but we won't always be satisfied with these arcs, especially if they don't feel proportional to the hurt the characters may have caused to our mains, so we'll all have different reactions to them.
I swear liking a morally ambiguous/grey character says absolutely nothing about you, but making excuses for them, antagonising people who might dislike them (for good reasons) or acting like suddenly triggers don't exist for people, does say something about you. One of my favourite characters is literally the worst person ever, an actual bigot, but i won't ever write essays about why people are not allowed to dislike him actually because he's my babygirl.. i very much understand why people would.
All of this to say, everyone will have different opinions about Tommy. Some might love him, some will be completely neutral or at worst slightly uncomfortable/bothered by him, and some will straight up hate him, and all of these are fine. Live and let live, love whoever you want to love, and hate whoever you want to hate, but please stop trying to dictate how others should feel, i'm begging. And this really does go both ways.
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A thing I will never understand is "minors DNI" blogs interacting with minors' blogs. I've had a few of those interacting with my art blog and it's just weird to me. If you interact with a minor's blog, it is almost certain that the aforementioned minor will then interact with you, perhaps to thank you for the likes or reblogs or simply out of curiosity. I understand not checking a person's blog thoroughly, but at least check their bios with their ages...
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like at the end of the day i can't always monitor my notes and be able to block somebody before they reblog a post and add or are supportive of added nasty rhetoric and then it just spreads until i can block enough people that it doesn't get around. but ultimately...at the end of the day...somebody is still going to be able to find that post and reblog it again with said nasty comments and it's just. exhausting. if i don't want a post of mine appearing on somebody's blog it shouldn't appear. that's what i want.
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