#why can’t I cope like a normal person 😭

[doromoni]

Not Over the Papaya | OP81

⊹ ｡•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

Ships : Oscar Piastri x Popstar! Reader , Ex!Lando Norris x Popstar! Reader

Genre : Fluff Smau

A/N : Thank you guys for dropping messages 🧡 I really really appreciate them and I love interacting w/ u guys 🥺. If you have questions or anything u want to say to me~ go ahead and don’t be shy.

Face claim : Jennie Kim

Warnings : Cursing , Grammatical Errors

Summary : Y/N and Oscar cope with their own breakups by making the Heartbreak Club.

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

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skysportsf1

liked by user1 and others

skysportsf1 P3 for Oscar! Catch up with the interview with our Fav Aussie in Papaya

user1 This interview was filled with so much tension (?) I can’t explain it.

user2 Osc looks like his both happy and at the same time angry??

user3 YES EXACTLY. Boy was seething and so uncomfortable when he was asked about Lando and Mclaren… then he was all smiles for the last question??

user4 “i’m paid to race, so I’ll race” OK SIR 🥶

user5 Oscar said fuck Lando’s race, I’m driving for myself

user6 Kimi Raikkonen is back y’all… hello Ice man

user7 Oscar has the WDC mentality 🔥

user8 A lot will happen?? what will happen huh Oscar Jack Piastri?? tell us.

user9 He is planning smth i swear.

user10 Ok Osc is pissed about Mclaren. That joke about losing his job was so dry, boi was angry fr.

user11 watch out for lap 1 turn 1 tomorrow. Oscar is taking the gap!!

f1wags.

liked by user1 and user2

f1wags Y/N was spotted leaving the Hilton (McLaren’s hotel).

user1 Noooooooooo Y/N pls dont leave! like where are you even going 😭

user2 First Y/N wasnt present in Quali and now she’s leaving the hotel??? what happened to her and Oscar??

user1 pls dont let them end before they even started

user2 I just got to know about them and I refuse to let it go!

user3 Did she leave with her luggage? maybe she went out for smth??

user4 She was spotted carrying her suitcase😭

user5 Lando Norris I swear to everything you love I’ll hunt you down

user6 Seriously, he couldn’t just let Y/N be happy huh? Bro had to cheat and make more problems 🤡

user7 Ik!! Dude stay on your lane. You end ella deserve each other so much

user8 who’s ella?

user9 Oh shes just Y/N’s ex friend that Lando cheated with 🤢. Lando and her really do complement each other so well 🤡

user10 WHY IS THERE A RUMOR THAT Y/N AND OSCAR ARE OVER?!!

user11 I mean if its true and they’re done… they couldnt even last 1 race week together. What kind of relationship is that 🙂

user12 @user11 a normal one?? imagine having so much stress and an ex trying to sabotage your love life.

*incoming call from Osc🧡

Pick up or Decline

Decline

*incoming call from Osc🧡

Pick up or Decline

Decline

*incoming call from Osc🧡

Pick up or Decline

Decline

Notification : you received a message from Osc🧡

*incoming call from Osc🧡

Pick up or Decline

Pick Up

“I’m literally on the way, Osc. stop worrying!”

“I know, I know! I just miss you so much my most beautiful and lovely girlfriend”

“And whose fault was that hmm?”

“Mine…”

“Uhuh, I’ll be over there in a few minutes be patient dum-dum”

“Did John give you the keys to my room?”

“He did. I still can’t believe you got a room next to Charles’s without the rest of McLaren knowing that one of their drivers is not in their hotel”

“Well that one of the pros of them only caring about Lando’s ass”

“Thank you McLaren favoritism. I still can’t fucking believe that they’re ordering you around for personal matters”

“Yeah, fucking unbelievable. I thought Alpine was the worst. What employer has the right to dictate their driver’s personal decisions? they’re fucking crazy.”

“But are you sure you want to disobey orders? We could always keep us lowkey…”

“Screw lowkey and screw team orders! I’m not keeping us a secret!”

“As long as you want it Osc, I’m ok with anything as long as i’m with you”

“I’m perfectly sure, Dear”

“Ok. Oh! I’m near the hotel.”

“I’ll fetch you in the lobby alright?”

“mhm. Bye ~ love you!”

“love you more”

call ended

Y/N. close friends 3m

story replies

oscarpiastri am i forgiven then my luv? 🥺

Y/N. Hell nah, im still making you work for it 😌

oscarpiastri We have our whole lives, take your time~ im not leaving baby. Till death do us part girl.

Y/N. Wtf, i’m your girlfriend for hours and ur thinking about marriage???

oscarpiastri Yes. ur meeting my parents next week 🥰😘

Y/N. I have no words Oscar Jack Piastri

oscarpiastri an I do would be great

Y/N. I cant with you HAHAHAHAHA i love you so much. thank you for not giving up on us

oscarpiastri I love you so much more and I’m not making the mistake of letting you go.

danielricciardo Girl you were just crying yesterday I-

Y/N. ok now i’m crying for a different reason

danielricciardo I dont want to hear your sex life with Osc. pls dont 😷

Y/N. DANNY WTF NOT THAT 😩. I meant I’m crying tears of joy… I’m not going to talk about my sex life with u tf

danielricciardo that’s what i meant stupid! ur like a sister to me. Get u and oscs germs away from me🤢

Y/N. Stfu dweeb 🤓.

danielricciardo thank fuck that u two straightened things out . You two owe me big time for being ur messenger 😤

Y/N. yeah yeah~ thanks danny 😘🧡

danielricciardo I’m not kidding, you OWE me 🤡

y/bf DAMN OK. I expected an update but not this . Holy damn Y/N! so you and osc are good then?

Y/N. We areeeeee… and its official~ 🙈

y/bf Oh thank goodness!! Im so glad y/nieee 😭. I was about to book a flight too, you bitch!

Y/N. Really?? ughh you really do love me.

Y/bf are you happy?

Y/N. Yes. I really am .. and I think Osc and I need a to label our relationship. sooo yeahh~ let more drama pour, at least now we know where we stand.

f1wags.

liked by user1 and others

f1wags. Y/N is in the paddock for the race 🧡

user1 Y/N FINALLY!! girl ur lack of attendance made us worry!! pls tell us u and osc are ok???

user2 The 2 days you’ve been gone in the paddock made everyone crazy! Theories of breakups and come backs are spread 😭

user3 Y/N strutting back in the paddock like nothing happened ~ Ok slay. I need that type of confidence

user4 Fr, Y/N waltzing in like she didn’t just drop a literal diss track on Lando

user5 As she should 💅

user6 THAT FIT THO 🥵🔥

user7 she ain’t dressing Lowkey Y’all . She’s here and she’s ready to serve!

user8 when Oscar said things are happening? things are HAPPENING and it starts with Y/N L/N.

user9 Ok Y/N! show them what’s up.

user10 McLaren can’t stop this girl.

Y/N. 45m

story replies

oscarpiastri Thank you Baby 🧡

Y/N. That overtake in turn 1 was so good Osc!! I got goosebumps

oscarpiastri ur only saying that cuz I got Lando down into P4 with my move

Y/N. NO you just were amazing! ngl i did enjoy throwing Lando out 👹

oscarpiastri I did promise a show 😉 and speaking of shows~ I need to go to our de breifing and watch them clown around.

Y/N. Okay! I’ll be with Alex at Ferrari. Call me when you need meeee. Bye luv.

* at McLaren motorhome, driver debriefing room.

-what the fuck was that at turn 1 Oscar?!-

-That’s what you call racing, I saw a gap and I took it-

-You cost me my race. That podium should be mine-

-Not my fault you bottled your first lap, now is it?-

-OK STOP. Oscar you should think about the team! Lando was on pole!-

-Funny how that works. You hired me to drive and I did. I got you your podium and points for your constructors-

-Follow team orders! that’s your fucking job-

-What you expect me to sit still and take it?-

-Yes, Oscar. That’s how this team works-

- Tsk and that goes for personal matters too?-

-Ah, so that’s what it is? This is about Y/N. Are you worried that she’ll see you as the loser you are?-

-Not at all, specially when I don’t get babied by the team. Tell me how does it feel like kissing up the boss’ ass? -

- FUCK YOU! -

-THAT’S ENOUGH. Oscar you should know when to stop! You’re still new here… learn your place and follow orders exactly as stated — and that goes with Y/N L/N keep your distance or face the consequences -

- Watch me -

*Incoming call from Osc🧡

Pick up or Decline

Pick up

“Hi Osc! are you done?”

“Dear, do you trust me?”

“What?…. about what?”

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes. I do”

“Ok. Baby we’re going public”

Extra A/N: hihihi did I scare you with the false breakup?? 🤭

Series Taglist : @champagneproblems17 @itsjustfranzi @cheriwritesig @forza-charles @awritingtree @sltwins @gr1mes-cc @hwalllllllelujah @btsfluffsworld @tillyt04 @landotd @booksandflowrs @czennieszn @thatsouthernblondewiththeass @tellybearryyyy @wobblymug @alittlechaotics-blog @bingussthirdtoe @mirrorball-6 @demandealalune @heartsforleclerc @yoongi-holland @maneskin-slave @alenix @forensicheart @bloodyymaryyy @stereading @hahahjej @youre-on-your-ownkid : closed

Maintaglist : @myescapefromthislife @peterholland04 @charlottef1 @fangirl125reader @mel164 @gnarlycore @chloelovesln4 @vickykazuya @merchelsea @ln4author @qzmef @nxk1309 @styl1shl1v @lottalove4evelyn @gr3yhues : closed for now

[titaswrld]

I have a request for a deadpool fic, if you could make a very angsty story where deadpool thinks he is undeserving of love and never thinks someone in this world would fall for him 😭 he is self-conscious about his looks and never in his right mind it crossed him that he has a chance with the reader, but he would do anything just to feel loved. he's just a constantly depressed ball of sadness, and the only way he copes with his thoughts is his dark humor. while the reader is head over heels for that man, and she's showering him in love, but he only thinks it's because they're friends 😭🫶🏼

monster

description: wade wilson being insecure about his looks, not knowing if the girl he loves would ever love him back.

paring: wade wilson x reader!

contains: angst! with happy ending (i didn’t know how to end it😭)

w.c: 1.2k

|an: finally writing forreals again! i needed to get back into it. thank u for ur request, i hope u like it😇 reader is a baker bc i couldn’t think of a more wholesome career path😭

you’ve known your best friend, wade wilson, for almost a year now. starting off as just occasional friends, hanging out at each other's apartments, watching chick flicks, and eating your weight in junk food until your friendship grew into something deeper, feeling nothing but love and admiration for another and the desire to be something more.

he’s so in love with you; he knows that now. he tried to deny it; he tried telling himself there’s no way, there’s absolutely no way a woman as intelligent, as confident, and as kind as you could ever love a monster like him. He knew you deserved better—a handsome, young, intelligent accountant or something.

his field of work is dangerous; he knows that. killing random people he doesn’t even know for cash. large sums of cash, sure. but, nonetheless, killing. he honestly always found it humorous, a trained marksman, mercenary, and vigilante , with his super cool awesome, still in school to become a pâtissière best friend!

he knew you’d leave; he knew no human being on planet earth could bear even looking at his rough, bumpy skin. that’s why he’s yet to show you his face, never failing to wear his mask around you, even though you’ve known each other for so long now. he didn’t know why you were still around after all this time even with the mask on, he knew most people found him to be annoying, aggravating, and just an all around piece of shit person, but for some reason, you liked him, and you enjoyed being around him.

he’s never had someone so close to him, as you are with him. you’re so kind, so affectionate, and so touchy. he thinks it’s just pity, you’d never think of him as anything more than a friend.

he dreamt of being the man who loved you the rest of your life; he wished that he could fall asleep and wake up to your face every day, make you laugh every day, eat every meal with you, watch every movie and every show, spend every holiday together, fuck, even start a family. he craved you. he craved your love, your care, and your kindness; he wanted to be normal with you, but he’s not normal, far from it. he knew better than that. he knew he didn’t deserve that. he would never be the man that you love.

he’s not ready to let you go, but he can’t keep his feelings for you inside any longer. he honestly dug himself into an even deeper hole, choosing to come over almost every free night he had. he couldn’t stay away from you; he hated being away from you. during every mission and every fight, all he thought about was coming home to you. you’re the only person who truly understood him for the man that he is, and he loves you for that. he’s never opened up to anybody the way that he’d opened up to you. you were special, so special to him. he was terrified.

you felt hopeless, stupid, and desperate. every advance you made, you’d failed. from baking him his favorite treats, to holding his hand while you watched a movie on the couch, to giving him hugs that lasted a little longer than necessary after a long mission, you couldn’t get your best friend out of your mind, not if you tried. hou crave him, his love, his care, his stupid fucking jokes that never end, his sarcastic nature, his sass—you don’t think you have ever loved a man the way that you love wade.

sometimes, he made you think that he might like you back, that he might have some sort of romantic interest in you, but it was quickly shut down after he made a joke, basically telling you that it would never happen.

you and wade were sitting on the couch, just talking, telling stories, and catching up after a particularly long time apart. until you had thought of a statement, that could’ve told you whether or not wade may or may not feel the same way.

your best friend, mia, had mistaken you and wade for a couple while on the phone. when you denied her statement, she apologized, saying she’s sorry for assuming, but you did spend all your time together..

when you told wade what she said, he doubled down in laughter before spitting out, “you? me? never. who is this friend? have i met her? has she seen me before? you might need to get her 5150’d.”

which did shatter your heart into a million pieces, but nonetheless, it wouldn’t stop you from trying to show him how much you care, how much you want to be with him, and how much you want to love him. he deserved love, and you wanted to give it to him.

each time he made a self-deprecating joke, it broke your heart. it was torture for you. the most he would ever do is lift his mask slightly when he ate with you, only to pop a piece of food in his mouth, then sheathe his face with his mask once again to chew, repeating the process until he’d finished. but even then, you never looked out of respect.

there were multiple occasions where you could’ve snuck a peek, where you could’ve turned around and saw his full face, but you knew how genuinely insecure he felt and how scared he was for you to see his face, so you never looked, not wanting to betray his trust or make him uncomfortable. you loved him, and you wish he understood that absolutely nothing could change that. especially not the way he looks.

today, you were sat on your couch, waiting for him to arrive. He said he’d be over tonight for the usual—rom-coms and junk food. but today, you felt different, your balls finally dropped, and you were ready to admit how you felt, whether it was a good or bad outcome, you were ready.

every single worst-case scenario clouded your thoughts, making your palms sweaty and causing a deep ache in your chest until you heard a knock at your door, saving you from plummeting even farther into your head.

you open the door, and time feels slow motion. you didn’t see deadpool; you saw wade for the first time- the real wade. standing there with an anxious expression plastered across his mottled face, snacks in one hand and flowers ripped from the dirt outside of your apartment complex in the other.

your stomach dropped along with your expression, the shock stunning you into place as you began to gather your thoughts. this is what he was hiding, you thought. jesus christ, all of that trouble for this? you could almost hit him.

wade, on the other hand, paced in your hallway, back and forth for 15 minutes before this, trying to decide whether he should just bail and leave the fucking country or finally stop being pussy and just show you his goddamn face.

after seeing your initial reaction, his head dropped, his gaze on the floor, as he muttered, “i know. total freak show, right? freddy kruger? craterface? cmon, lay it on me.”

now was your chance, as you cupped his face with your hands and pressed your soft lips against his dry, cracked ones. you felt his tense muscles drop and relax as he melted into the kiss, relishing in the feeling and making sure it was real, too.

you’d pulled away, looking him in the eyes and flashing a smile his way before placing kisses all over his cheeks, forehead, nose, and chin.

your gaze fell across his face once again, this time meeting you with a shit-eating grin plastered across his face.

“so— ten things i hate about you, or steel magnolias?”

[hoeforalbedo]

ᗪEᗩᒪ ᗯITᕼ TᕼE ᗪEᐯIᒪ ✟

Chapter 1

———————— ♱ ————————

WARNING: PLEASE READ

Sensitive topics including vague details of SA. Reader will display many mental health such as depression, PTSD, and anxiety. I will also discuss after effects of said trauma such as hyper sexuality, over-sexualizing oneself, over trusting, and many more. (Many cope in different ways however I am more familiar with this side of the spectrum as I have taken this information from my experience.) Suicidal topics. Horror. Manipulation. Blasphemy. Religious horror and possibly hints of religious trauma. Demons. Paganism. Witchcraft (I try to depict witchcraft as accurate as I can however if I make it too accurate, it will seem boring so I did add magical abilities. I write it based off of how I practice it). Possession. Death. Murder. Exorcism. Sex. Ritualistic sex. Female reader. A bit of crack (reader doesn’t take things seriously. Humor is the way of coping 😭)

If any of these themes trigger you, please do not read. You have already been warned.

Writing criticism is appreciated since I want to get better in writing.

SUMMARY: Everything is normal. I mean it. I swear.

———————— ♱ ————————

You went home feeling at ease and as you laid on your bed, you realized that maybe you should have invested in therapy. Hongjoong isn’t really qualified to be a therapist but he works just fine, plus he’s free.

Hongjoong is an interesting man. A hypocrite. A man so corrupted feels so tantalizing, like the fruit Eve was warned not to eat. The devil, these thoughts, they whisper at you, feeding you delusions of this man. You feel. . . Loved. Is that the right word? Love is a strong word and you just met the man but you just felt a strong connection. Maybe it’s because he gave you that ounce of validation you craved.

“You shouldn’t be going out on your own. Especially not with these serial killings going around,” Hongjoong joined you at the pew. You stare at the huge crucifix above the altar with contempt. You may have really come back at the wrong time. The small quiet town has been experiencing some serial killings. Many say it’s the devil. Others blame you, although it ultimately leads to the devil. Seriously, why can’t they just admit that some fucked up person did it?

You shrug nonchalantly. “We both know, nobody gives a shit about the murders. Plus, I didn’t want to be in that house. All I hear is their constant yapping of God.” You fight back the urge to roll your eyes. “It’s always God this and God that. God can suck my dick.”

“Do you resent God?” He asks curiously.

“Yes. Very much,” You scoff. “Isn’t it obvious? You know, after the talk we had at the confessional booth, I did something bad. I prayed to the devil,” You smile.

The man raised a brow, almost leaning towards you. “Did you now?” He asks with amusement laced in his voice.

“I did. I prayed that he would kill that motherfucker.”

“And?” He asks almost excitedly. Why is he feeling this way? He should be scolding you.

“I was watching the news and found out that he died. He was murdered. They also found that he was a predator. I think his other victims may feel some sort of relief that he’s dead,” You chuckle, as if the man’s death was the bare minimum.

“Are you happy?”

“Yes.” A comfortable silence falls between you for a moment before you speak up. “Although there’s gotta be a catch right? Maybe he wants my soul? Is my soul even that yummy?” Your brows furrow and your lips fall into a pout as you think deeply.

“Now why would you think that?” He chuckles.

“I’ve sinned,” You shrug.

“Sweetheart, I doubt those sins are enough. Hell is full of evil, and I promise they’ve done more than steal a pack of bubblegum,” He jokes.

You look at him offended, “Hey I’ve done stuff! And you’re a weird priest. Shouldn’t you be like ‘demon bad’ instead of indulging me?”

“Well you’re weird for admitting to a priest, but if you ever need an exorcist, you can always call me,” He smirks.

“Y’know, you look much cooler in this outfit,” she hums, admiring how handsome he looks in the typical black outfits priests wear with the white in the middle of his collar. “The robe thing you wore on Sunday made you look short.”

Hongjoong gives a playful glare at you. “Give me five Hail Marys and ten Our Fathers.”

———————————————————————

“Where did you go? Do you not realize how dangerous it is right now? Especially for a woman? Your father’s been throwing a fit, asking where you are.” Your mother drags you in and closes the door.

Despite it being modern times, your mother, along with other women in the town, played into this 1950s wife role. She wears a typical red plaid dress and despite being in the house all day, her hair is done along with wearing heavy makeup. Your mother prided in having red lipstick.

You recalled how comforting she was, humming as she cooked the meals. She never let you go to school without breakfast, saying how “It’s the most important meal of the day.” You’d force yourself to finish the whole plate then went to school despite your parent’s lack of dreams for you.

“I’m a grown adult and I have a scalpel. I’ll be fine,” You groan, tired of always hearing her lectures. “And I was at the church,” You add in hopes that it would shut her up. Satisfied, your mother let go of your arm and you went up the stairs to your room.

The room remained the same after all those years. There’s a desk in the corner and multiple bookshelves, from textbooks and just books of God. You weren’t allowed typical books such as Harry Potter as it apparently promoted witchcraft.

Your queen size bed is against the wall with your nightstand beside it. Across from your bed hangs a silver cross that somehow never rusted along those years. You also have drawers against the other side of the wall. It looks exactly the same way you left it.

You lay down on your bed. You’re tired. Tired of everything. The true punishment is being dragged back into this town. You hate it. It’s the literal epitome of hell. This holy town is hell. It’s embarrassing failing a suicide attempt. You had a letter and everything. It’s just pure humiliation when you’re brought back to the very town you tried to escape.

Thud!

You didn’t realize when you had fallen asleep but the loud sound immediately had you bolting up your bed. The sun has gone down. “Oh fuck!” You hiss, tapping your phone to check the time only to be blinded by it. Dark mode isn’t meant to blind people. It’s 2 am.

You reached over your bedside and turned the lamp on, being blinded once more, as your eyes strain to adjust to the light. When has the room gotten so cold? When your feet touch the floor, you almost didn’t want to stand up as it just felt too icy compared to your warm skin. Every step felt like pricks of ice.

It was the crucifix. The nail that had kept it up had rusted and weakened. You bend over to pick it up then walk back to your bed. The crucifix is placed on the nightstand. Now you can’t sleep. Isn’t this what happens at the start of every horror movie?

———————————————————————

“How unfortunate! Absolutely vile,” Your mother exclaims as she reads the newspaper. Who reads the newspaper these days? Your father answers with a grunt.

“Remember Betty? The sweet lady who taught Bible study back in the days? She had been murdered last night! That poor woman,” Your mother sighs, shaking her head then folding the newspaper.

“This is why you have to keep praying or else the devil will take you next,” Your mother lectures.

“That will be the day,” You groan, despising the sound of her squealing voice.

“That’s not how you talk in my house,” Your father yells.

“Then I’ll gladly see myself out,” You smile and get up from your seat, not wanting to finish your breakfast anymore. You hurriedly put your shoes on then ran out the door without lending an ear to the berating screams of your parents.

A walk. You needed a walk. You allowed your feet to take you wherever it wanted and suddenly you found yourself in the woods, where you used to run to, when you were younger. In the middle of the forest, there would be a huge tree, bigger than the rest. The forest seems to be circling it.

“What is a young lady like you doing here?” A woman asks, making your heart skip a beat. Her hair is gray and her skin is wrinkled. Her body is hunched over but despite all that, you can make out her beauty peeking through her age.

“Where did you come from?” You freak out.

“You know, this tree held special meaning,” She absolutely ignores your question.

“That’s nice,” You mumble, not really wanting to hear a history lesson.

“This was where the witches of the town were burnt. This area harbors a lot of pain and turmoil, begging to be avenged,” She smiles wistfully.

“Witches?” You perk up. That’s new. You know about witches after leaving the town. The topic always piqued your interest.

“Oh yes. Oakheart used to be a coven of witches, that is until the Evangelist came and forced us to turn to their God. Others who refused were burned here. My family were ones who played along with the Evangelist but we never forgot,” The woman tells her story.

“Interesting, so like we worshiped Satan?” You asked, not meaning to sound ignorant at all.

The woman chuckles but doesn’t take offense to your words. “The town worshiped more than just Satan. Lilith, Lucifer, The Princes of Hell, Hekate, Athena, Thor, Loki, and so many more deities. It was a coven where people worshiped who they wanted and nobody judged,” The lady explains. “It seems that a deity may have taken interest in you. You have to help them!”

“Huh?” You’re taken aback.

“Help them! Help them! You have to help them!” The woman starts screaming all of a sudden, grabbing onto your arms.

“What is wrong with you!” You wince, pulling away and running off, her screams becoming distant. You kept running and running, occasionally stumbling on rocks. “Stupid rocks,” you curse under your breath.

You didn’t know where you were going. It was all the same looking trees. When you started questioning your location, you eventually found a clearing.

“Thank god!” You let out a sigh of relief. Before you is the church. You never knew the forest was behind the church, only because the forest is so big.

“Y/N,” A voice suddenly makes you jump. “Are you okay? I didn’t mean to scare you like that.”

You clutch your chest to catch your breath. You look up and it’s none other than Pastor Hongjoong. “Yeah I’m fine. I’m fine,” You breathe heavily.

“What were you doing in there?” He looks at the vast forest.

“It’s my favorite place,” You manage to catch your breath.

“You need water?” He offers.

“Yes. Please.”

You follow Hongjoong into the church, going through hallways that the usual parishioners never go into. You could definitely get lost, the place looking like a maze. The walls are the same off-white with occasional paintings of either Mary or Jesus. The overall lighting is dingy and just shabby. There are a few lightbulbs that would blink on and off. It’s almost as if the church doesn’t have enough funding for a proper electrician. With the amount of donation they receive, they should.

“Y/N,” Hongjoong calls.

“Yes?” You turn 90 degrees to come face to face with the statue of Holy Mary.

“Over here,” He calls from the room right next to you.

“Coming,” You answer but you can’t seem to stop looking at the statue. Something feels off, and as you look closely, you realize why. It’s crying. You wipe the tears or water or whatever liquid it was on the statue's face before following Hongjoong in.

“Welcome to my office,” He smiles, handing you a water bottle and telling you to sit on the small couch. “I promise you it’s not usually this messy.”

You look around. His desk is clean however the counter next to his fridge is littered with empty bottles of water, food wrappings, containers, and many more. There are also crumbs of food in front of the fridge. Besides that, it’s pretty clean.

“Oh what’s with that box over there?” You ask curiously, looking at the box with crucifixes, statues, and holy books.

“Well you know how I just started here. I was going to put that around and decorate the place but I never had the chance. You’d never expect that priest could get so busy,” He chuckles. “So? How have you been?” He asks, leaning against his desk.

You shrug, “Same old. I really can’t handle my parents and I really hate this town. Maybe once I get myself sorted out, I’m going back to New York and invest in some therapy.”

“That would be good, but hey I don’t mind being your unofficial therapist,” He gives a lopsided smile.

“I need some professional help too, Pastor Hongjoong,” You chuckle.

“Hongjoong. Please just call me Hongjoong.”

“Got it.”

“So, from what I heard you are a neurosurgeon. A good one?” He asks.

“A very good one. I have very skilled hands,” You smirk, realizing how sexual it came out to be. Curse you and your dirty mind. You’re almost like a teenager, except you gained free access to the internet in your 20s.

“Oh really?” He raised a brow and crossed his arms in amusement.

“Yup. Many would personally ask for me since my hands work amazingly,” You play along. “But seriously I love my job a lot. I want to go back.” You sigh, feeling a sense of sadness. Your parents never really care how successful you are. You have a nice high rise apartment, your name is known, and yet not a single ounce of ‘I’m proud of you.’ “Anyways, what about you? What are you doing here in Oakheart? You could have gone anywhere else so why here- And be honest! I spilled my whole trauma to you!”

Hongjoong laughs, “Okay, okay. I was an exorcist. Well an exorcist in training. Not anymore!” He sighs, sitting next to you.

“What happened?”

“We had to exorcize a demon from a child. The poor child. He was a victim of child trafficking. Of course the Vatican had to determine if it was just mental health problems, but you can’t really blame mental health when the kid is literally flying. Well he was just too weak and well he died during the exorcism,” He rubs his face with his hands.

You put a hand on his back, offering him some sympathy.

“Well in a way I think the demon gave him the justice he deserved. The demon gave him the strength to, uh, to have the power to kill the people responsible for the crime ring. And I believe he never wanted to be saved. When the demon wasn’t speaking, he would beg to die, to give him the permission to commit suicide. I felt his pain. It was very painful,” His voice broke.

You rub circles on his back.

“So yeah, I was traumatized,” He chuckles. “Maybe I should also invest in therapy, too. The Vatican doesn’t really offer those. I know that demons are meant to be all bad but it angers me that the demon did what God couldn’t. Isn’t that weird? A priest questioning God?”

“Want me to be honest?” You ask in which you earn a nod. “That is so fucking weird.”

Hongjoong chuckles and shakes his head. “It’s kinda too late to change careers. I’m already a fucking priest, excuse my language. You need a degree for that. You need a degree to talk about God,” He laughs. “But I agree. This town sucks. I don’t blame you for wanting to leave.”

“Well now I feel guilty leaving you here,” You huff.

“You got space for me?” He jokes.

“Oh honey, I got plenty, and money ain’t a problem either,” You smirk.

“Oh, we’re skipping to pet names now, huh?” He teases.

“Oh I didn’t mean-“ Your cheeks flush pink.

“I'm just messing with you. It’s cute.”

“Omg stop flirting!” You whine.

“Sorry, baby,” He chuckles.

“I'm leaving,” You stand up.

“Oh, I’m sorry. . .” He looks at you guiltily.

“No no, you’re all good. I'm just playing with you. I just get flustered easily. You know, being raised like a holy child of Jesus and all.” You trail off, admiring his perfectly sculpted face.

Hongjoong stands up and takes heavy steps towards you until he’s towering over you. “Well aren’t you a bad girl, playing with a priest like that,” His voice low and seducing.

“I tend to play dangerously. It’s more thrilling that way,” She shrugs.

“You know, Jesus was quite the ladies man,” He hums, lips curling into a devious smirk.

“Where are you getting at?”

“It means,” He tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear then lifts your chin with his hand. “Even holy men can’t take their eyes off of pretty women, and I’m no exception. May I?” He asks your permission to kiss like a gentleman.

“Yes,” Your stomach flutters as your lips press against another. You kissed with need and desperation, pressing against him. You’ve kissed before. You’ve kissed many, but this kiss tastes sweet and satisfying, perhaps because of how wrong and sinful it is.

Your breathing is ragged as you part from him, yet it seems like depriving him of your kiss would kill him. He captures your lips once more, like a hungry predator, and as he does so, he steps back until he feels his heel backing into the sofa. He sits down, his lips staying on yours like a magnet, and you eagerly climb onto his lap. Your hands ran up his solid chest slowly before wrapping your arms around his neck.

Hongjoong’s burning from the sweltering heat, although unsure if it’s from the kiss or from the sin he’s about to commit. He now understands how Eve was so easy to convince.

“So pretty,” He mumbles as left warm kisses against your jaw and down your neck.

“Joong,” You whisper, tilting your head back. He hums and bit down the side of your neck, not too hard but just enough to leave a mark.

“You taste so good,” He practically moans, indulging in the taste of sin. You reek of sin and it’s all the more sweeter and fulfilling. Hongjoong’s drunk off of it as he’s grinding his hard cock up against your clothed pussy. He’s a desperate man. “You’re so good to me, Y/N,” He whines.

“Oh God, Joong!” You moan profanities.

“He’s not here, darling,” He chuckles. “Can I have you? Please, I need you.”

You nod, “Please Joong.”

He shifts you both so that you’re laying below him. “You look so pretty below me,” He says, admiring how vulnerable and hot you look underneath him. “Can I?” He asks, tugging at the hem of your shirt.

“Yes,” You answer. You wanted it. You want it this time.

You arch your back to help him pull your shirt over your head.

“Cute,” He chuckles, looking at your cute pink bra.

“Don’t judge me,” You huff.

“Not at all,” He smiles as he fumbles with the hooks of your bra to reveal your perfect tits. “Fuck,” He groans, feeling his cock constrict from his boxers. He kisses down your sternum as he squeezes your breasts. His fingers brush against your budding nipples.

“Hongjoong,” You hiss, needing to feel his touch.

He clicks his tongue and frowns in disapprovement. “Don’t rush a starving man.”

You complain, “And don’t tease me- fuck!” Your back arches up as his lips wrap around your bud. He is quick to shut you up with a harsh suck. “Hongjoong,” You gasp, tugging on his hair. Your eyes flutter close as you revel in the way his tongue circles your nipple.

It feels so good when suddenly it doesn't. You try to push away that foreboding feeling, images flashing through your mind. Why is it that whenever you start feeling so good, your mind seems to be punishing you. You open your eyes in hopes you don’t vividly see the scene in your head but right over Hongjoong’s shoulder is a cross nailed to the wall. That’s when it hits you that you’re about to fuck a man of God.

Honjoong notices how stiff you got so suddenly and looks up at you with worry. “Hey are you okay?” He asks, immediately getting off of you.

“Yeah, uh, it’s just, sorry,” You wince as you notice how you’re half naked. You immediately sat up, grabbed your bra, and put it on. “Sorry it’s just I suddenly remembered-“

“Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault,” He says, taking your shirt and putting it over your head. “If you’re uncomfortable with it, I’m not gonna force you.

“It’s just, I do want it. But that stupid man,” you kick the couch in frustration.

“No, I get it. Maybe it’s still too soon and you’re not ready for anything yet.”

“Thank you Hongjoong. Thanks for understanding,” You smile softly.

“No need to thank me. It’s the bare minimum.”

“I typically don’t try to fuck priests,” You crack a joke.

“Well I don’t typically try to fuck parishioners either,” He chuckles. “I get we just met but you’re a really sweet woman and I was hoping maybe I can get to know you more. Perhaps a date?”

“I would say yes Hongjoong but I don’t plan on staying in this town,” You say apologetically. “I might go insane here. Sorry, I just don’t want to get your hopes up,” You force a smile.

“I get it. This town is hell but at least indulge me?” He asks. “Just a date, nothing else.”

You sigh in defeat, falling into temptation so quickly. You do want this date. “Fine. Just one date.”

“Got it. I’ll make it worthwhile,” He smiles.

“Stop being so cute. It’s tempting me to go on more,” You joke.

He rolls his eyes, “I don’t know what you mean.”

You chuckle as you fiddle your fingers. “So uh, I think I should go home. It’s gonna get dark soon and I don’t want to be on the murder list.”

“Ah yes, do you need anything before you go?” He asks.

“No, I'm good.”

“Actually let me drive you home. It's dangerous walking alone and for my sake, I’d rather see with my own eyes that you get home safe.”

You wanted to refuse but he’s right. The murderer hasn’t been caught and there wouldn’t be a date at all if you were to be dead. “Fine.”

“Oh- and,” He shuffles through a box that’s placed in the corner of his office. He takes out a black shawl and wraps it around your neck to act as a scarf. “As much as I want you to show off my marks, I don’t think you’d want anyone to see that.”

“Oh my god you’re actually so sweet. Take me home already or I might cry. Wait a damn second, you can drive?!”

[gaybananabread]

Hii! I hope I'm doing this right 😅

The amazing digital circus, Lee Jax! Ler ragatha!

Banana,oranges,lemons please!! :3

Absolutely fine if your not able to do it but just a request :D

(oh no I forgot something 😅😭 Can the most focused on spot be the ears please!! Super sorry!)

Fruit(s): Bananas, Oranges, Lemons

You’re all good, Anon! Jax is such an ass and I’m here for it (⁠ ⁠´⁠◡⁠‿⁠◡⁠`⁠). I’ve been pretty sick this week, so I’m sorry if there’s any mistakes or quality issues (ミ⁠●⁠﹏⁠☉⁠ミ). Fair warning, the bunny man is quite the prick in this because I like bickering. Thank you for requesting, and I hope you Enjoy!

Lee: Jax

Ler: Ragatha

Summary: Jax is being a total brat, sassing and picking on all the other characters. Ragatha has enough, giving him a lesson on manners he won’t soon forget.

Warnings: none! This is a tickle fic, so if you don’t like that, scroll away!!

The Amazing Digital Circus was…an interesting place, to say the least. If one could get over the fact that a likely-sentient AI entity ran a digital fairgrounds that nobody could ever escape from, their minds twisting and going down a deep spiral of paranoia and uncertainty until they lost their sanity, it was kinda cool. That first part was a pretty big hang-up for most, though.

Jax, however, had grown pretty used to the madness. He had his wit and sarcasm as a coping method. Why worry about your own misfortunes when you can laugh at someone else’s? The rabbit took every opportunity he could to quip, snicker and poke fun at his fellow characters. He got on everyone’s nerves. 

His antics really got to one being in particular: Ragatha. 

She felt as if she could tear his ears off some days. Jax would always bully the others, but he had been horrible that day. Pomni was still getting used to things; the poor thing didn’t need another reason to fret. His jokes were only putting everyone on edge, and that jester was already on a narrow ledge… It needed to stop.

“Wow Gangle, I didn’t know you could actually do something productive. Color me shocked.” Jax hovered over her, looking down at the ribbon being’s drawing. It was some sort of fan art, though he couldn’t name the media. It didn’t look that accurate, and he wasn’t that much of a nerd before he put the headset on… 

Before she could think to be shocked at the half-praise, he quickly put the dickery in his words. “Shame it’s too trashy to make out whatever you drew. This place is enough of an eye-sore as is.” 

The tears on Gangle’s mask rippled as she sniffed, trying not to let his mean words get to her. It didn’t really work; she’d put a lot of effort into that… She clutched the drawing to her chest as she ran away, her mouth line quivering. Jax just chuckled, not really caring that she ran off. It was just a joke. Not his fault she couldn’t take it.

Ragatha put her hands on her hips, marching over to Jax. He rolled his eyes, preparing for the lecture. “JAX! What is wrong with you?! Gangle worked really hard on that! You…you need to quit being such a jerky prick!”

The wide smirk stuck, though his eyes widened slightly. It was hardly a solid insult, though coming from such a typically passive-aggressive person, it was surprising. Didn’t know she had it in her…heh.

Jax’s snarky smirk returned, his eyes forming amused crescents. Hello, new source of entertainment… “Relax, dollface! Crybaby’s fine. Just havin’ another pity party.”

She scoffed, letting her typically suppressed temper show. “Seriously? You told her that those amazing drawings were trashy! Why are you such a bratty bully?” Her tone was as curious as it was disappointed. Eugh…

“I’m not a bully. I just say what I see; not my fault you babies can’t handle the truth.” Okay, maybe he was going a bit further than he normally did. He was bored, and the banter was actually amusing. As long as he danced on the right side of the line, he’d be fine. “Like you. I mean, I get this place knows our minds or something, but it really nailed you. Trashy scraps and frayed yarn.” 

This little…ugh! He was bringing out a side of Ragatha she didn’t know she still had. “Oh really? And what’s that make you, cotton tail? A bargain bin, carnival prize knock-off?”

Jax actually chuckled; finally, someone fun. “Nah, I’m just better. Taller, good-looking, not made of sewn together *boink*. I’d say it did me right.” He smirked, leaning in and getting to her level. “You found a nice 1830’s girl yet? They’re all about raggedy scraps.”

Oh, that was it! She glared, her upper lip curling as she reached for him. The lanky jerk leaned away just in time, taking off in the opposite direction. Okay, so it was possible to make her mad…totally worth it. 

Ragatha chased after him, going over revenge plans in her mind. She normally tried to avoid conflict, but Jax was out of control. Rabbit stew seemed delicious, even if it would only be a simulation… 

Jax tried to find literally any not-obvious spot to hide, but everything was ginormous and solid, a vengeful Ragatha on his heels. He just ran for his life. He might’ve made it, too, if he hadn’t tripped on something. “What the-” He went down, face-planting on the bouncy floor. Gloink…of course. He could’ve sworn it smirked at him, even though they had no mouths.

The doll was on him in seconds, quickly pinning him to the floor. For fabric and stuffing, she was pretty strong. Before he could think to fight back, his arms were pinned above his head, the girl straddling him and blocking his every escape. “W-woah doll! At least buy me dinner first!” That one was kinda stupid, but it was there.

The smoldering glare that comment received finally shut him up, if only for a moment. So many ideas, so little time… But she couldn’t do anything to hurt him. One, it wasn’t physically possible, and two, she was better than that. He still needed some kind of shove in the right direction… Ohohohooo, that’s perfect.

“I think you need to learn some hard lessons, Jax. Respect for your friends, and when to shut up.” The tone of her voice was surprisingly playful, even if it had a serious edge. He didn’t know whether to be scared or relieved. 

He wasn’t sure what she was up to. That is, until he felt one of her mitten-esque hands on his stomach, wiggling into the furry surface. Unable to bite his lip, giggles slipped past his defenses, greeting the smug doll. “W-whahat the *bloink* ahare you dohohoing?!” 

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m showing you what happens when you’re a snarky dork.” Ragatha smirked, keeping his hands pinned firmly above his head. “W-whehen dihid you gehehet strohohohong?!”

She tsked, trying not to take offense to that. “You need a filter, Jax. Apparently Caine’s isn’t enough. My way is a bit more…hands-on.” Ragatha went to town on his belly, digging her fabric fingers into his midsection. 

Squealing, twisting and turning, Jax tried anything to escape. He might’ve had the height advantage, but when it came to strength and endurance, he was surprisingly out-matched. Also, apparently very ticklish. Shocks across the board.

Jax kicked his feet, the pads thumping against the floor. She cooed, teasing him further. “Aww, guess you really do live up to your character, Thumper.”

The tickling wasn’t even the worst part, though it did come in a close second. It was the teases. He honestly didn’t think she had it in her, but *sproing* he was wrong. Ragatha squeezed his hip, making him jolt and squeal. “R-RAHAhagathaha!” Okay, make that a tie.

His laughter, to Ragatha, was honestly adorable. Who knew a jerk like him could be so ticklish, much less have a laugh like that. It was bright, bubbly and uncontrollable. Hearing her friends laugh, no matter how rude, was something special. She could listen to it all day, though she didn’t quite plan on going that far. 

While the silliness wasn’t hurting him, his pride was being battered to bits. No matter how much he wriggled and writhed under her, he couldn’t manage to break her hold or knock her off. Beyond that, she just had to keep exploring his spots. “Youhuhu lihittle- GYAAAHAHA! NAHAT THEHEHERE!” Like that one.

Ragatha's eyes widened as she rubbed the base of his ear, not expecting the spot to incite such a reaction. She wasn’t complaining, though. “Geez, Jax. These floppy ears are so sensitive! I have got to tell the others.” The doll switched between each ear, making sure neither felt left out. They twitched and flopped, but couldn’t avoid her skilled hand. 

Even though he was the most prideful of all the characters, her tickling was really pushing his limits; he just couldn’t take any more. Abandoning his ego for a moment, he cried out. “O-OHOHOKAHAY! IHI’M SOHAHAHARRY! P-PLEHEHEASE NO MOHOHORE!” 

She took that as her cue to quit, releasing his arms and climbing off him. The rabbit man immediately curled into himself, giggling like a toddler. She did notice, however, that he was still wiggling slightly, his closed eyes moving as if he had a twitching nose. He was clearly happy, though she bet he’d never admit it out loud.

“Y-youhuhu…youhu’re dehehead!” The threat would’ve been a lot more menacing if he didn’t look and sound like he’d had the time of his life. “Uh-huh, sure. Just try to be nicer, okay Giggles?” Ragatha pat his head, walking away and going to find Gangle. Knowing her, she would need similar treatment, though for very different reasons. 

Jax took deep and giggly breaths as he tried to calm himself. That was…wow. He didn’t even think stimulation like that was possible in the Circus. Then again, Caine did say the only thing he couldn’t control were their minds. How his mind felt right then…he’d rather not talk about it. Her plan had worked; he’d definitely be thinking about that encounter for a while. Maybe not for the intended reasons, though…

[pixelyssa]

The love of my life has been ignoring/stone walling me, and today it led to a HORRIBLE binge. I couldn’t stop, I was sobbing. I feel disgusting

I guess I’m wondering.. what advice do you have for preventing large binges like that?

hi lovey

first, im sorry about that.. i hope their gears start working properly and they talk to you soon 🩷

i don’t struggling with b1nging personally, and it’s not a flex, its just b1nging is a term i’ve been told not to use here. because for me, its still less than a “normal 1ntake” when i “overe@t” but i def know the disgusting feeling afterwards and the guilt/regret.

(i have to clarify that or i get threats)

anyways!! seems to me like it was obv triggered by ur problem w whoever this person is… like the b1nge was your coping skill.

so to answer ur question on preventing it, make a list of other coping skills you know work.

-distraction coping skills (to name a few: shows, documentaries, youtube, music, games, call/text a friend, read, coloring/drawing, writing, cleaning, showering, exercise, nap) these don’t fix ur problem ofc but itll distract u from the big feelings and unhealthy coping skills, and eventually (hopefully) you will regulate & be safe! a lot of people on this side of tumblr dont realize the distractions we use to avoid e@ting are usually good for us. deciding to go on a walk or take a shower instead of r3lapse in soemthing?? hell ya

-problem focused coping skills! (ex: asking for help, text/call a hotline, deep breathing, establishing boundaries outloud “i will not ___” or “i am not ____” etc) these are harder to do when ur having big emotions because your brain doesnt think “yes lets do some hard self refelction!!

but i wanted to give some examples so you have some incase you can’t think of any rn.

like i said, write it down. that way when this happens, or even other negative things, you have all ur tools in one spot. notes app, a journal, whereva 🩷

besides that, sometimes its alr too late to choose another coping skill. i can only recommend if you give in and you know youre gonna, to try these things

-put the f00d on a plate (small ones r best for me in this situation) that way im not having a whole bag of cookies/chips its just a couple on a plate

-i also get rid of any f00ds that would be dangerous during a b1nge for me lol. ik some people live with others and they can’t do this, but when im rlly hungri my only options these days are strawberries or carrots with hot sauce 😭 so maybe thatll help? if theres no f00d, theres no b1nge?

-watching true crime or g0re helps me bc it makes me unable to e@t the f00d in front of me 😭 sorry if this is crazy but… like maybe when ur upset like that and you have tried to do the healthy coping skills and just still wanna b1nge… you could just watch some true crime? 😭😭

-managing ur daily 1ntake could also help. ik sometimes even if ur full you can get the b1nge urges, but yk it genuinely could be that ur not having enough per day to function and ur stomach is sending those urges to ur brain.

kinda all over the place ik. i havent been active for a bit im going through it 🤭 anyways i feel so bad for u why tf is ur person ignoring u 😭 idk what i would do 💔 i hope this was a little helpful atleast’

ily stay safe xoxo🩷

[hazelfoureyes]

To add onto the ace conversation, I wanna add my journey!

TW it gets kinda heavy at the end-

My journey was literally SO messy omg and this is gonna sound so silly but

My mom and I used to watch this show called rupauls drag race when I was little. I used to think the men were pretty and all when they were out of drag but WHEN THEY WERE IN DRAG??? omg I was in love, I thought they were so pretty 😭. NOW YOU CAN SEE WHY THIS IS CONFUSING. Technically, they are men, but they look like women, and you only like them when they look like women. I was scared and confused with this newfound information so I repressed it 💀

During my teen years, ig I was just like everyone else, a lil sex obsessed freak (idk how to put it but YKNO HOW PEOPLE ACTED IN HIGH SCHOOL 😭 ). Watch porn, reading smut, the whole shebang. I eventually found out I like both girls and boys (with a preference for girls). BUT one day I sat down and realized I haven’t had a real crush with a real life person since like elementary school 🧍‍♀️

Everyone was losing their virginity’s and talking about how great sex was and blah blah blah. It’s embarrassing but I thought sex was gonna be AWESOME and I COULD NOT WAIT to just GET RID of mine 💀. Like if I lost my virginity it would put everything in place.

Jump forward to when I’m 19-20 and I get my first “real” boyfriend. I was kinda out? I was telling my friends what I was bisexual. I told my boyfriend when we were in the “talking stage” and he was really supportive, or so I thought, long story short he was just like, THE WORST PERSON EVER. He was sexually/emotionally abusive, 0/10 person.

⚠️TW: S*XUAL ASSAULT, DR*GS, R*PE⚠️

⚠️ I wanna say that I’m only laughing about this because it’s my coping mechanism ig but I just wanna say that there was multiple instances that he used to take advantage of me while I was under the influence and then gaslight me into thinking it was ok the day after.

If they’re is ANYONE reading this that is in a situation like I was in, please for the love of god leave them. NO it’s NOT normal. They don’t love you. The abuse will only get worse the longer you stay. ⚠️

And on top of all that HE OUTED ME 🧍‍♀️ so that was fun. Anyways back to the sex, it was bad. I thought men not knowing where the clit is was a meme but it’s true 😭 mans would rub my left lip for 5 minutes and act if I came. Losing my virginity DID NOT “put everything in place”. Well i guess maybe it did in a sense. I never wanted to do it again.

But on the other hand, I’ve read that sex is a beautiful thing. Deep down, some parts of me yearn to have that special connection with someone. I want to feel what real love is. What it’s really like to make love. And not just have someone tell me they love me while they selfishly use me. Words are just words but I know there has to be more to it.

Anyways that’s where my journey is right now, I’ve been doing some real soul searching these past few months. Tumblr has really helped me in trying to figure this whole thing out. Am I ace? Idk. But it’s what I closely resonate with for the time being.

God labels are confusing as hell 😭 why can’t I just be me

I’m me-sexual 🥳

I was a little worried at first sharing this as it is heavy! But, the fact is, sometimes we are waiting for someone to bring up a heavy topic so we can share/vent our own story. Certain heavy topics just...don't come up often or organically. So I hope if someone needs it they can use this as a reason to start a conversation they've been waiting for a chance to have!

What happened to you was beyond unacceptable treatment and I am so so sorry you had to suffer through that literal abuse. I suffered through quite a bit myself and it really skewed and damaged my relationship to sex for a long time in ways I couldn’t perceive so I absolutely hear you! It sounds like you’re doing the heavy lifting of trying to heal and be a fully formed you and I’m so proud of you! The hardest part is acknowledging that hey, maybe there’s some shit still left to figure out about myself.

As you continue in life you may find your awful experiences had some effect on how you view and enjoy (or not enjoy) sex.

I am a huge advocate for sexual health, in knowing yourself intimately for your own pleasure but also for safety and comfort!

I really hope you’ve taken time to learn about yourself and what things you like and don’t like when it comes to physical pleasure. If that’s something you have an interest in!

Personally I’ve thought I hated things and later realized nooo I just experienced it first with someone terrible at it. 😅 but when I did it I found it kicked ass. (**cough** anal **cough cough*)

There is more to sex, I hear! I’ve never made love and the idea is so unattractive to me, but! Darling, sex does exist thats full of love and connection and meaning that serves so many more purposes than getting off. So I’m adamantly told! If it’s something you want I hope you find someone or someones who can provide it. 🥺

It’s so funny you mention horny teenagers because in middle school and into high school everyone was pairing up. And I thought, “Relationships are what you do when you want sex. And I don’t need sex. I’m still young. So… why would I get a boyfriend? My friends fulfill my needs otherwise.” (Still….so closeted 😂)

Because I was aromantic and the term just like—- didn’t exist in my world so I didn’t know, I didn’t realize people were dating for non-sex reasons 💀 but then I got a boyfriend and had sex in high school and was like “OH SHIT THIS IS THE BEST?? AM I A NYMPHO NOW. MY HAND COULD NEVER?”

The beautiful thing about still being here is that you have the freedom and the time to decide or not decide anything! Research, talk to people and read in forums of people learning to find their place. Question everything— are there parts of people you find sexually attractive? If yes, okay let’s start there! I realized I was pansexual first because of my attraction to androgyny. “I’m not a lesbian—- dick good. But also… pussy good??? Tits good??? That person could have any of those things and.. I don’t care? I still want them carnally?!”

If no sexual attraction to people at all (pretty standard definition Ace in that case!), then okie dokie, totally can still want to enjoy sex! It’s more than about sexual attraction as we are cerebral creatures. That’s still valid! If you did want to be physically intimate are there things you’d be okay with doing and not doing? Or things you’d want to do that maybe you couldn’t with certain people? Is your idea of what sex is being really narrowed down being of the culture you’re in? Just some questions for yourself. So many things to consider if you haven’t already! Not for finding a label but making sure you can express what you want and need when you’re in a situation to receive it. 💝

I didn’t know anything about Asexuality until hazbin and that made me look at my partner and be like “yoooooo I know you’re an older Japanese man but I have a new English word for you to learn.”

Before I knew pansexuality existed I told people who asked my sexuality, “I’ve never been disappointed when someone got naked.” Because I didn’t identify with the “women and men” definition of bisexuality, the gender didn’t matter and the sexual organs were all just bonuses for me. But I didn’t know a word existed for how I felt.

And hey, it got the point across! I lacked a community to feel welcomed in but I was still able to love and be loved how I wanted to be and that’s the most important part of this. As long as you can still articulate what you want and need in this stage of your life then baby cakes you’re doing perfectly fine in your journey! Which it sounds like you already know very well 💖🥹

[checkadii]

i see ur tags. rubs my gay little hands together. please discuss ur tma au (also ur writing is superb very evocative we love vash and his uncanny-ness)

I opened the ask while going down the stairs and almost tripped I’m ngl . ANAYYAS. YOU BOTH

IVE JUST BEEN HAVING LIKE. A RANDOM SPUR OF THOUGHTS ABT IT . Abt the possible setting mostly

Okay

Cause like,,, WE HAVE TALKED ABT THIS BEFOR EI REMEMBER YOUR REBLOGS REESE if we’re thinking of the au taking place . A LOT of the characters have high potentials to be slaughter avatars, especially those in the ghg and that’s just. Simply because on no man’s land violence is just expected, especially with a profession they have

So. A more,,, “normal” setting could open for possibilities. Normal as in “modern” even though trigun takes place in some fuck off future far from ours I’m pretty sure😭 Like . Say Midvalley. Slaughter w the guy who plays MUSIC? ANDDD USES IT FOR VIOLENCE? That’s a pair baby!!

Put him in a relatively safer world where the ghg aren’t a group of assassins but something else. maybe they don’t even exist. Where he’s just some guy.

The way we view fear in tma is somethjfn to think abt, heavy on avatarhood here, I like to think of it as like,,, fear has dug it’s claws into you, has become you / one with you / overtaken you whatever, and now you have to live with it, and the avatarhood is how you cope with that, what you choose to do with this fear . Does that make sense. a mark is the trauma be it physical or mental, and Becoming is wielding it, maybe accepting it intimately

So, say. Back to Midvalley right. What do we know of him other than this violence. That he was a killer way before the ghg. What other than the slaughter. We have widderwally nothifn

WHICHHH IS WHY ITS SUCH. A THING TO THINK ABT! On a setting that isn’t no man’s land, and a “modern”/“normal” setting that doesn’t involve the ghg being assassins, what can he be! What can any of the characters be! What can we take from their character and personality and gauge a fear that could be their drive that doesn’t stem from survival! (I think buried web Midvalley might be cool tbh . no I can’t elaborate)

Milly and Meryl being eye-hunt is. Well. Points at them and their entirety. Mostly to me is that what they do well, but I really want to think about what could’ve made them become, does your main fear have to be the thing. What am I saying

Like mike. Our pal mike crew our buddy our chummy guy. He was mainly hunted by the Lichtenberg spiral figure right. Like yes he was struck by the vast but . Gragh I hate that they’re categorized like that when they are technically one

Also. Snort. Janemike appearance

Anyways . I lost the plot in my head ERM

Milly and Meryl being eye hunt …. They can be archivists. Together. As a treat I think. Imagine them being archivists in any setting pspsps

They both are witness to the various bullshit on Vash’s journey, have seen sorrow, pain, enlightenment, god knows what, destruction. They have also seen happiness, comfort, calmer times. Rare as it can be. They’ve seen secrets shared histories laid bare they’ve made themself present for a LOT. witness . eye. yk. does any of this make sense. also fits w their reporter occupations

the hunt part,,, well. they’re constantly on a trail, right . constantly chasing after a target (cough) . And that could be played into the eye’s tendency and urge to know, but their synchronicity i think is also important,,, they’ve got each other’s backs and know this, able to cover up where one falls short (like that time! W that guy who straight up tried to kill vash! And Meryl was held at gunpoint very unimpressed then Milly shoots her stun gun!) Peas in a pod, a pack, stronger in number. That kind of thing!

Also because. I think Milly’s scary perception CAN BE A THJNG. IT SHOULD BE. PELASE. and her monthly (POINTS AT YOU REESE)!!! Little reports, documentations . In a way!!! ya know!!

whichiswhyeyehuntissuchacombo.ok.itslikeapackagedeal

okay buried wolfwood. Loud wheezing

Once again, if we throw away the eom and ghg. Wolfwood would grow up relatively . Aight. to just Be some guy . All of these characters could! Without the constant fight for survival and constant high stakes most of not all of them would straight up just. Chill. Mostly. Probably. Idk. They literally could have the potential to be marked by ANYTHING and become avatars of ANYTHING at that point. Maybe. IDK

Buried wolfwood … burdened and chained down by fear, by his mission, drowning in the sticky river of the blood of his targets … he plays the devil. yk. while his heart cries out. his shoulders are heavy with a role a mask a title he does not want but his feet are planted firmly on the stage he has been set on . Boxed in. Midvalley and Hoppered went against their role, and they ended up. Well. Not well! He knows he’s stuck

The Punisher weighs on him, his sins, his wrong doings, all the things that he fiercely believes can’t be redeemed, and he doesn’t try to claw his way up and off and out the stage, he lets himself sink deeper into it, clings onto it even, because if he does otherwise, then. What else does he have, right?

Buried because HOOOWEEE I think buried mark works well for him, and Buried because being an avatar of the buried works. Vibes I’m going off vibes I’m afraid. I also really love the buried SHOUTOUT TO FOREVER DEEP BELOW CREATION THE TOO CLOSE I CANNOT BREATHE I LOVE YOUUU

And now that he’s been dragged even deeper because of his mission to escort vash. Yea. He knowsss there isn’t an outttt of this . He’s deep in both his belief, and his torment . I need to furiously throw something at him

VAST DESOLATION VASH TIME EVERYONE HEAR ME OUT. OKAY

wow we’ve gone from “I’ve been thinking abt the setting” laid back leaning against my pillow to “OKAY CHARACTERS” locking in leaning forward I’m

Again. It would be silly to think abt how not having factors like the general plot of the manga or being put in a normal setting would change what avatar he could be . Because w/o finding out about Tesla, the story wouldn’t have been as it is right

But like. It is what it is so. What is it. Take a shot everytime I say is. That’s another shot

The vasts whole gig involves the fear of insignificance, of falling, of areas or things you can’t quite navigate or comprehend, of heights, depth, infinity, the ocean, the open waters. right. Idk I’m like constantly cross referencing the wiki for both tma and trigun LMAOO I think the buried and vast should kiss (grabs vw

The way characters reacted to vash being pseudo immortal —

Oh my god I’ve been typing for an hour. Okay. This isn’t even much I’ve straight up just sat there staring blankly at my phone doing nothing except moving to type for an hour okay

Right. When faced with something whose entire being is just so unknown, so incomprehensible to you, you can’t help but just . Feel sorta insignificant right . Cant help but wonder and think . Vash has that effect. To me. People who know of his true nature can’t even begin to fathom what he has seen, what he has lived through, what exists far beyond the scope of their human lives. His entire existence can’t be fully explained in words, experiences and memories simply too. badumtsh vast

ialsothinkthatarchivistvashwouldgoHARDletstalkabtthat

ARCHIVIST VASH. HEAAAR ME OUT. he’s literally a walking record of times past, of the history of gunsmoke . His instinctive goofy act and downplay of literslly everything about him, the fear of being perceived in ways that could possibly be used and turned against him rihjt.

He has encountered man at their highest and low, has been witness to achievements, to starts and to ends of all kinds of multitudes, has been the canvas to slaughter, has been the focus of eyes, the target of hunts, buried by the ideals he sworn to live by (WHICH . NOW THJNK ABOUT HIM KILLINF LEGATO. NOW.), he’s seen the darkest sides of the planet and man seen what lurks in the shadows, masters escaping because of the situations that became too much, finds himself on the brink of spiral and clutches onto that brink, walked a long lonely road as people come and inevitably go, found himself stuck in a web that he spun and that others spin, has found himself surrounded by destruction, desolation, the fear of his own flesh, of his own body, idkhowtoworkcorruptionintothis, the uncertainty of his own existence, an oddity, jsut soemthinf off, uncanny valley in a sea of faces,

OR SOMETHINF. I DONT KNWO

okay kicks archivist vash off the table back to vast desolation

The desolation part o think js. Pretty self explanatory. He is grief and destruction, is literally called the humanoid typhoon, diablo. Surrounding him is nothing close to semblance of peace and safety , the trail he leaves behind is naught but that of loss, promises of vengeance. Ig. Yk. Shrug emoji

Vash’s staunch pacifist nature clashes against this . Colossal all encompassing force that is him . Nuclear baby or whatever. I need to shut up

. Extinction knives ….

I’m running out of typing juice GELP

Knives’ actions that led to the great fsll is. Without the great fall plants would’ve probbalt not been exploited to the extent they were because people wouldn’t have been forced to run them to the ground while they scramble for survival on a planet as gunsmoke

In a way, the “end/extinction” of his plant kin was caused by him. which. is

right so we agree that knives anger and hatred comes from fear right. Like. It’s how he copes. What he chooses to do with this fear. channels it into a weapon

The discovery of Tesla ,,, do you think after waking up he thought about seeing vash in that pod . Or seeing his withered crumbling body broken into pieces through eyes that float outside his skull.

So. To protect those he love from that fate, he has to erase the other factor from the equation right. Change the outcome. Drastically

The great fall was a sharp veer off course for humans, and what follows is scrambling for order

Knives embodies the extinction by trying to change that order. I thjnk . Yk. I’m. Okay I’m actually out of juice my brain is slow like. Like molasses dripping off a spoon (said in Tommy Coolatta’s voice)

Team rocket is blasting off aga💥

[deceptive-daydreams]

So, my social anxiety isn't nearly as bad as R's but that party still sounded horrendously busy 😬 get me back home in some skeleton pjs asap.

Jett. Just..bye. still don't like you. Not entirely sure why yet. If he turns out to be a genuine sweetheart I'm so sorry, I'll retract everything.

Haha Eddie's stomping off in his little jealous huff coz he's plastered 😍 my favourite part of this. The way he coos at her when he realises it's her he bumped into 🫠 and then her little 'hi' back 🫠🫠so normal about this. it's fine.

And then she helps him home! Love that they've turned into each other's designated drivers, and then when he looks at her expectantly after puking like a good little sub waiting for his orders 🫠 still so normal.

Then he opens up! Not just a cryptic comment, then nothing. She gets the full lowdown! Good for him. Hope he doesn't regret it when he's sober.

His Halloween 'costume' I'm not ok about this. Him being a complete simp for her, rolling over for belly scratches just like Donnie said he would, I can just about cope with. But then you added smudged eyeliner and tattoos of wings and I'm not normal about him anymore 🫠

ME GIGGLING TO MYSELF BECAUSE I LOVE TALKING ABOUT YOUR THOUGHTS AFTER EVERY CHAPTER 🥹

no but my social anxiety is as bad as readers if not worse and I just crafted up the most horrific scenario I could think of…literally showing up to a party along and being instantly met with a crowd of people like LIKE THATS MY PERSONAL NIGHTMARE AT LEAST LET ME EASE INTO IT

LMAO I love your beef with Jett 😭

I love me some jealous Eddie especially cause he can’t control it being plastered like that like his emotions are just on full display and he doesn’t even realize it 💀 OK BUT when he coos at her THATS WAS MY FAVORITE TOO LIKE HES JUST SHOWING HIS TRUE FEELINGS AND LIKE I SAID HE CANT HIDE HIS EMOTIONS WHILE WASTED IT BECOMES HIS WEAKNESS

I had to turn the situation around except to be fair, Eddie got puked on and reader only had to help him through throwing up in an appropriate spot so reader had it a lot easier lol…and subby Eddie who’s usually all dominant and grumpy LIKE GIVE ME MORE HES LIKE HER PUPPY AND SHE DOESNT EVEN KNOW IT HES LITERALLY WRAPPED AROUND HER FINGER

(If you can’t tell I’m also being so normal about this)

no but it’s about time he speaks his truth like they haven’t known each other very long but the chemistry is just *chefs kiss* and she’s only given him every reason to trust her

UGH HIS EYELINER AND TATTOOS DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED IM SUCH A SIMP FOR THIS MAN

anyway….thank you so much for reading I love being normal about Eddie with you

[midnightmah07]

i was re-reading this to see if there was any spelling mistakes and spotify started playing “ready for it?” by taylor swift- AND TBH, no i was not ready for it

Taking a long deep breath, to not cry on the spot. Her heart felt heavy, her breath was like a painful whine, and oh… Her red shinny eyes, already red for the early crying., now crystal clear for the holding tears.

“Daisy!”

She turns to see Ruggie’s face. But, as if pleading for him not to speak a word, or else she would feel the eternal pity and guilty.

“Don’t forget me. Okay?”

How could she? How could she forget any of them?

Looking at the magical mirror that contained the portal where she would go back her brain thinks. It was a battle: Logical side vs. Emotional side.

The worse part, is that the logical was winning.

There she is, hugging herself for comfort. His smile felt like a vision, but a vision that is seldom like all they seem.

Daisy knew Ruggie, she knew he wasn’t okay. Ruggie knew Daisy, he knew she knew that fact of his fake smile.

Her minds doesn’t stop to think yet she can’t think. Why? Why even in a moment where she would finally get back in her feet on a world she belongs to… Should be painful?

“I’m sorry.” She turns to face everyone. With a sad smile. 

And that’s how Ruggie knew. He couldn’t be enough for her to stay.

“I love you, Ruggie. But, I don’t belong.”

Of course, everyone could’ve screamed: “You do belong!” But she didn’t, if she didn’t believe she deserved to be in that place, why would anyone else be willing to prove her wrong?

Ruggie eyes winded. No… He can’t. He wasn’t ready for any of this.

“Daisy, don’t talk nonsense! We—“ Looking at her he noticed, nothing, would make her stay. He wasn’t all that important matter, he should’ve knew. He can’t blame her, I mean, if he was in her shoes, would he stay?

The answer was clear for him, but, she couldn’t do the same. And that’s why, if he was her, he wouldn’t do as well.

She turns back to the mirror, stepping in. And with that, Ruggie fell in his knees, shaking. Would he one day, see her again? That’s a question that not even the mirror would know.

“And that’s how we know, she isn’t meant to be nor exist here.” The mirror tells.

Anyone would say this was a normal drama scene, but, oh… Did it felt like so much more… 

Maybe they can meet again. In dream? In his best dream. Where he can hold into her like the tomorrow does not exist. 

And that’s, how the unwritten story of Ruggie and Daisy, comes to a end.

People never will be satisfied. We cannot feel complete, only if we do this by ourselves, not because another person does this for us.

Ruggie noticed it. Not too late, but too early.

You know what. I'm just. Gonna crawl on my bed and stay there for the rest of the day. That seems reasonable. Yup.

THE MIRROR SAYING SHE DOESN'T BELONG THERE IM GONNA BREAK THAT MIRROR INTO THOUSANDS OF PIECES I HATE THIS CRIES

I'm fine I'm ok.

ONCE AGAIN YOU DID A WONDERFUL JOB BUT U USED YOUR POWER FOR EVIL😭😭😭😭 IM NEVER GONNA FORGIVE U (I will in fact I already have this was way too good)

Bye gonna think of fluffy scenarios of newly wed daiggie living in sunset savannah happily ever after so I can cope with this🚶🏻‍♀️🚶🏻‍♀️

[purplalien8]

🎭 ♾️MIRRORBALL by Taylor Swift is about Autistic masking, struggling to keep up with expectations, kissing up to the neurotypicals and it’s AUTISTIIIIIIC 🙌🏻♾️✨ - warning I fell into a very chaotic mood brace yourself

I will order my evidence from most to least evidence (sort of):

🎵I can change everything about me to fit in - Masking

🎵 I've never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try - MASKING

🎵 I'm still on that trapeze - OMG masking HAAARD

🎵 I'm still tryin' everything to keep you looking at me - MASKING YOUR BUTT OFF FOR SOCIAL APPROVAL u don’t need it Taaay😭

🎵 (For background, don’t @ me) - And they called off the circus, burned the disco down - Disabled people in general were taken to circuses as “freaks” and people would laugh at them. But then they also burned disco, idk maybe they’re just so normal they hate fun😤

🎵When they sent home the horses and the rodeo clowns - YES GO AWAY

🎵I'm still on that tightrope - Nooooo Tay😭😭 She’s still buying into the idea that autistics deserve ridicule because we’re “too dumb” & that we should also try so hard it feels like we’re doing acrobatics in order to MAAAASK

🎵You are not like the regulars - “Wait you’re not ‘normal’ either”??

🎵The masquerade revelers - Love interest is not like the bastard NTs who’d rather see autistics mask💕💕

🎵Drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten - Either the mask slips (you accidentally don’t mask something) or she’s just hurt from something & it shows because we can’t lieeeee

🎵I'm still tryin' everything to get you laughing at me - MASKIIING to get love interest’s attention BUT I THOUGHT THEY WERENT LIKE THE MASQUERATE REVELEEERS🥺

🎵And I'm still a believer, but I don't know why - She’s thinking a) Maybe I can’t keep up masking, it doesn’t always works, & I might burn out and/or b) What if I don’t need to mask and I was lied to?🤔

I want you to know

🎵I'm a mirrorball - She masks by MIRRORING PEOPLE, ITS A THING & Discloses her autism like “You know that Normie personality you thought I had? Nope it’s just a conglomeration of everyone I’ve ever seen. I’m not like that at all😤😤”

🎵Hush, when no one is around, my dear - Anxiety over people finding out :( Aw Taaay

🎵 Hush, I know they said the end is near - Neurotypicals saying we can’t ever keep a relationship

🎵 You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes - WALKING ON TIPTOE IS A SIGN OF AUTISM

🎵I'll show you every version of yourself tonight - mirroring/imitating as a coping mechanism for masking

🎵I'll get you out on the floor - aka work my brain so hard to get the social & timing right enough for you to actually follow me even though I’ll get an ACTUAL headache

🎵Shimmering beautiful - masking as a Grill (girl)

🎵And when I break, it's in a million pieces - hypersensitivity & emotional regulation, meltdowns

🎵Hush, I know they said the end is near - people thinking YoU cAn NeVeR kEeP a ReLaTiOnShIp

🎵But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes - unmasking bc she’s being vulnerable??

🎵 Shinin' just for you - NO U DERSERVE IT TOO

🎵 Hush, when no one is around, my dear

🎵 You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes - TIPTOOOOE

🎵 Shinin' just for you - NO TAY, LIVE FOR YOURSELF NOT JUST FOR THEEEEM

🎵 Hush, I know they said the end is near - MAYBE ITS NOT

🎵 But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes - YES GIRL YES

🎵 Spinnin' in my highest heels, love - DO IIIIIT

🎵 Shinin' just for you - N O🔥 you were literally almost there Tay!

🎵 Because I'm a mirrorball - BECAUSE I MASK

🎵 I'm a mirrorball - I MAAAAAAASK

🎵 And I'll show you every version of yourself tonight - I MIRROR IN ORDER TO MASK

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 *yippeeeeeee*

[taexual]

heyy (im the person who was tired of oc) omg i don’t even know why i introduce myself like that ig i‘ll do a brown heart from now on so you know who i am! :p

i just read the new chapter and wow you did an incredible job. i love how you gave us so much since the last update meaning that oc was slowly taking accountability for her actions and not trying to run away. in this chapter i feel like i could cry but also bang my head against the wall? now im totally okay with oc but not with jk ….i think we can’t all have what we want right?😭

i totally understand the trauma he went through bc of his friends but i do believe there’s more to the story maybe it has something to do with his own parents and that’s why he’s so insecure and always ready to doubt that his affection/love wouldn’t be well received? i mean he got a panic attack just bc he saw his past self where he was just a normal human being partying and having one night stands. personally for me it’s not something i would focus on bc we’re humans and everyone copes different with a lot of pain, mental health issues or relationship problems which is totally ok if you ask me but i don’t know i just feel that we‘re getting more and more into his side of the story and im so ready for it!

on that note, thank you so much for this amazing chapter i loved it. i’ll patiently wait for the new chapter. hope you have a blessed one! 🤎

hi omg no that was a serious distinction dhsjffj but a 🤎 is very cute!!!

anyway, love, thank you so much for reading it, i'm so excited that it made you feel all these emotions!!!! we're definitely going to explore jungkook as an individual more now that he's pushing his friends out of the picture!! 🙏🏻

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

a distress post 💖

***Rook PE Uniform edit (using Silver PE Uniform card as the base) is by anonymousblubber (their Discord username); posted with their permission!***

*inhales sharply*

Since we’re going through a phase of Rook rot on this blog, I’ll take this opportunity to lose my mind 🥰

I’M PREFACING THIS POST WITH THE DISCLAIMER THAT I SWEAR I’M NORMAL, I’M VERY NORMAL.

Alright.

So.

I swear I must be the last person in the TWST fandom to come to terms with that fact that Rook is, in fact, muscular. THIS COGNITIVE DISSONANCE HAS BEEN AT THE FOREFRONT OF MY MIND EVERY TIME I’M REMINDED ABOUT IT AND IT BRINGS ME IMMENSE PAIN OTL AT THIS POINT I CAN’T EVEN TELL IF IT’S IN A GOOD WAY OR IN A BAD WAY BUT I FEEL COMPELLED TO SHARE THIS ROT ANYWAY

I DON’T KNOW, IT’S NOT REALLY SOMETHING I PAID MUCHA TTENTION TO UNTIL I WAS TOLD “OH YEAH YANA CONFIRMED IT IN THE TWST ART BOOK”, YOU CAN’T REALLY TELL FROM STARING AT HIS ART IN THE GAME???????????? 😭 ESPECIALLY SINCE HE DRESSES IN THOSE FLOWY ROBES OR LONG SLEEVES/PANTS ALL THE TIME ????/ 

HIS CLOTHES ARE THE ONLY TRAITORS I SEE IN THIS GAME, HOW DO THEY MAgi CALLLY CONCEAL ALL THE MUSCLE huH????? THE CLOTHES ARE EVE N BIGGER LIARS THAN J WORD IS

You really mean to tell me that Rook is just as buff, if not more buff than people like Silver and Sebek??? WELL THEN, WHAT ARE YOU HIDING YOUR GUNS FOR, SIR?????? Remove thy sleeves so I can whip out a fucking tape measure and see how you stack up compared to Jack, Sebek, Silver, etc. 😊 C’MON DON’T BE SHY DO IT FOR THE SAKE OF SCIENCE EXPOSE THOSE ARMS, HUNT

I was told Rook’s in-game model has a “thicker” neck than the other characters, but to me the difference is so miniscule that I’m like, “WELL HOW WAS I MEANT TO NOTICE THAT, I’M NOT A VAMPIRE SO WHY WOULD I STARE AT HIS NECK?????”

NOT ME WITH A RULER PRESSED TRO THE SCRENEN TRYING TO FIND THE DISTANCE BETWEEN HIS SHOULDERS AND WAIST TRYING TO SEE IF HE HAS THE GOLDEN RATIO OF DORITO BODS I AHTE THAT TWST HAS MADE ME SO B AT DORITOS AND STRIANGLES IN GENERAL OTL WHAWBUUBAFVOFAYIFOADVYIFAVDUOYFILFHVGSDOAYIFU;BHGVOUSIYFLAUBgiy3rygqwgpqeo8tgyp9fuo;ghwovyiabfSGOUVDBVADOBPAO;HL

LOOK, I kind of did expect him to be fit (being a huntsman and all) but nasdlilbasidasbd I WASN’T EXPECTING HIM TO SECRETLY BE BUFF AS FUCK UNDER ALL THOSE CLOTHES??????? OTL And apparently????? Archery is a sport that requires a really strong grip for the bow and arrow, so his arms have gotta be pretty toned…….… . …… . .… ……  .. a-and his legs are probably strong too … … . .  … . .f f or chasing his pr  e y  …… ….. .…  .. .  . .… . . LIKE WHAT AM I MEANT TO DO WITH THIS INFORMATION HUH????????

Oh noooo Mr. Hunt 🥺 Ahah 💗 pretty please don’t chase me down through the woods and grip me hard when you’ve finally caught up INFACT TFAKE YOU R MTIME  TOYING WITH ME TO BUILD UP THE SUSPEN SE AND INSTILL AFALSE SENSE OF SECURITY IN ME BEFORE YOU SW OPP RIGHT IN AND IDK CAGE ME IN YOUR TH i GH s OR SMTH MAFGNASFAUIFOBIQYEAFPQAN;WYO49HPT8EUFN–

ANYWAY LIKE I WAS SAYING, I WON’T BELIEVE IT ‘TIL I SEE SOME EVIDENCE, SOME PROOF

I’LL ACC EPT MUSCLES ON OTHER CHARACTERS, I’LL EVEN ACCEPT EEL ABS. I KNOW iT LOOKS AND SOUNDS QUESTIONABLE BUT HEY IT MAKES SENSE THAT J WORD WOULD STRIP DOWN AND SHOW OFF HIS SCALES IN HIS MERFORM, NO MATTER HOW CURSED IT IS AT FIRST GLANCE. I WILL ACCEPT THE EEL ABS IF I REALLY REALL Y REALLLLLLLLLY HAVE TO s I nCE THE GAME LiTERALLY FLASHES THEem AT US 😭 BUT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BELIEV EIN ROOK’S BUFFNESS IF WE HAVEN’T ACTUALLY HAD THE CHANCE TO SEE IT YET???????????????

DON’T BE COWARDS AND SHOW US ALREADY 

Crowley sending the TWST boys to get some actual therapy? BY THE END OF THIS DAMN POST, CROWLEY WILL WANT TO SEND ME TO THERAPY TO HELP ME COPE WITH THIS SHIT

[enigmaticxbee]

✖️✖️ 9x16 William

The one where... Scully gives up William and everything is terrible.

Best: Scully tonelessly singing William was a bullfrog... and he’s in his bunny hat... I can’t handle this. I would die for bunny hat William.

Worst: I hate that the show did this to Scully. First of all, structurally it’s completely unnecessary with the show ending in a couple more episodes - it’s not like they needed to get the baby out of the picture to free Scully up for next season. (Also don’t give your character a baby if you don’t want a baby on the show!) So it’s just done to torture a character who has suffered so much. I understand the in-show reasons and why she feels this is the only way to keep him safe and give him a chance at a normal life. But as we see in IWTB and the revival she will always carry the guilt of feeling she failed her son and failed Mulder - that she gave up, that she wasn’t strong enough to be his mother, that she ran from intimacy - when really she was put in an untenable position and made an unimaginable sacrifice. The fact that the revival shows that it did not work, that William grew up with no one to help him cope with his mysterious powers and ended up in terrible danger anyways makes it that much worse.

❌ Flashlights

❌ Woods/Desert

❌ Slideshow

❌ Autopsy

❌ Evidence Disappears

❌ Scully Misses It

✔️ Mulder Ditch (I hold this one against the show, not Mulder)

❌ Sunflower Seeds

❌ Voiceover

✔️ Catch Phrase: Jeffrey Spender (IWTB)

✔️ Scully is a Medical Doctor

❌ Mulder is Spooky

❌ Scuuullllaaaaayy! Muullllderrrr!

❌ Fox/Dana

❌ Inappropriate Touching (that I am here for)

❌ Casual Scully

❌ Casual Mulder

❌ Trench Coats

❌ Bad Tie Watch

❌ Glasses Watch

✔️ Taking! It! Personally!: Scully

50 States: DC x97 (44/50)

Investigate: Apart

Solve Rate: 81%

✔️ Bechdel Test

MSR: 🐝🐝

Goriness: 👽👽

Creepiness: 👽👽

Humor: 👽

Rewatch Thoughts:

William check-in: William in his spaceship onesie at the end 😭

Missing Mulder: Scully: I’m telling you, that’s not Mulder. I never bought the possibility of that being Mulder, and I really dislike the idea that Scully would believe it for more than an instant of doubt. Knowing now that he’s played by Chris Owens it’s obviously Jeffrey Spender. Even on the original watch I found it ridiculous to think that he was Mulder, but the show seems to want us to think Scully is doubting (I don’t know what else the vision of Mulder in the lab or that scene in the bedroom where she says Don’t do this to me. Not you. is supposed to convey) no matter how hard she protests that it isn’t him. I just don’t buy it. As Scully says: You know a person in so many ways. Ways that a test can’t even begin to know. And we’ve spent almost 200 episodes by this point with DD as Mulder. We know him.

When I watched this during the original run the cold open really made me think this was some kind of fake out or temporary situation and that the episode was going to end with them getting William back. I’m still not over it.

Love that little moment of Scully fixing her shoe as she walks down the corridor because she obviously rushed over there so fast - good job director DD! (Story by DD not so much)

Admittedly I don’t know a lot about dna tests but I’m pretty sure siblings don’t have identical results, otherwise how could dna be used to solve crimes - I can buy that a preliminary result would come back as a match, but then they would order more detailed results, not just say yup this guy’s definitely Mulder 🙄

Ok, Chris Owens does a good silly Mulder run though the streets (I love the idea of DD directing him - bouncier! make it bouncier!)

So, I guess Jeffrey Spender was trying to make them think he was Mulder (although I still have no idea why Doggett jumped to that conclusion and brought them down that path) but it seems like there were easier ways to get to William...

Why would Scully believe anything Jeffrey Spender tells her about William at this point? Was injecting him with magnetite and convincing her to send him away for his own good all part of his con? Are we supposed to believe him at the end? The revival certainly shows us that this didn’t “cure” William of his powers. I don’t get it what the point of this was.

Also William would probably be safe if Scully just stopped letting strangers in the apartment and leaving them alone with William (sorry!)

GA’s crying at William’s crib as she talks to Reyes is heartbreaking 😭

[noroi1000]

hi! i come here with a request for a romantic male matchup please.

female she/her. i’m a 19 year old, bisexual chilean disaster. my mbti is infj. i’m an intersec feminist, so normally things like misogyny, homophobia and racism annoy me. also, the most important of it all, i’m an enthusiastic shitpost enjoyer like “yo who the fuck is mary and why she poppin”.

i’m 5’4, i have almost a hourglass figure(?? i have hazel eyes and light brown hair or a very dark blonde i’d say? idk. it’s also short and fluffy. my love language i would say is words of affirmation and physical touch like hand holding and cuddling i like, but straddling someone’s lap or making out makes me uncomfortable tbh (not too sure, my ex cheated on me and now almost everything romantic makes me uncomfortable 💀).

i can come off as mean sometimes, and i’m very headstrong too. i say things the way i see them but i also cry whenever i get yelled at so ye, i’m just very emotional. my group say i’m really funny, that i’m loving and they appreciate i don’t hide my opinions.

i love my family and my friends. i have that type of love you can’t express with words y’know? like my parents, mis primas, mis awelos, my friends have made me the woman i am today, which i’m proud of for the most part. also i adore all types of animals and i’m currently studying along that field. i worry a lot about the people around me even if they are not that close to me, and i’m also the type of person that gets sad when i see other people sad lmaoo.

i am very dedicated to my studies and the grades i get. i can be extremely organized and i don’t give up on a subject until understand it. i just like feeling smart honestly, though i wouldn’t call myself a genius. just smart.

in large environments i get pretty nervous and that comes out with me being extremely serious and awkward. when i’m with my friends tho i can’t stop laughing, jumping around and overall just being extroverted. but i don’t hang out too much. i mostly spend my time listening to music (declan mckenna, princess nokia, baby tate, half•alive), playing minecraft or cs:go, dancing, drawing and sleeping. i also watch a lot of internet and biology documentaries. if i’m not doing that, then i’m playing volleyball which i also just fucking adore since 5th grade.

i’m interested in someone that doesn’t call me weird, that stays by my side and understands me when i get hit with depressive episodes and most important of all: they need to love humor (chilean shitpost mostly, trixie mattel/katya type shit). laughing is my coping mechanism.

and i’d say that’s about it. idk. i probably missed something 😭

I think your Jujutsu kaisen matchup is

Yuji Itadori

He is a very enthusiastic person who enjoys contacts with other people very much.

He tries his best for family and friends. He loves everyone and he certainly wants to protect them. Since someone close to him has remained, he can worry about them. He would not like to lose any more. Is it under normal circumstances or because of his own stupidity.

He would never want anyone to be sad because of him. And especially he suffered. He couldn't voluntarily hurt anyone.

He pays no attention to anything but character. He couldn't discriminate against someone. Generally, he himself will defend people who are hurt by someone else.

He's really nice. No matter who he talks to. (It is important that this person is not brutal and does not abuse others.) He tries to make people in his surroundings happy, feeling the same emotions as they do. He couldn't smile and be happy when someone cries in the corner. First, he would like to make that person smile.

Being stubborn in certain situations is good, you know? He will never give up when what he does is good for him and for the rest. Just as he doesn't like others telling him that he is doing anything wrong, even though he knows he meant well.

He is devoted to friends and family. He makes their moments nice and happy. He could do anything for them.

Every learning and training he does is such that he won't understand half of what he has to learn. He just can't learn it. However, if he knows he must do this, he will try to whatever he can. Among strangers, without his friends, and in the environment of people who are not welcome in his life for what they do mean, he can be serious and calm. He will not always smile and have fun. When he is alone, he may not even laugh. Likewise, he feels awkward when he's with someone he even accidentally pissed off. He knows his friends won't kill him for anything. But he's awkward when he wants to start talking. The same when he makes a mistake.

He may need sedatives when going out with everyone. He is unable to resist vigorous behavior.

Headcanon:

• He will not call you weird because he will say that he is weird. He just says he's weird and stupid. Some may think it's true, but he's a smart boy. It has its deviations, but it cannot be said that it does not have a brain.

• He would love to be with someone who laughs at what he does and fails to pretend.

• He could cry if you were the one who yelled at him.

He would never want to raise his voice to you in a wrong way. He wouldn't want to yell at you. He just wouldn't want you to be sad because of him.

But he never told you you couldn't yell at him. Do what you want. Yell at him, hit him. Hit pp on the face, on the head. Make him hate himself. To make him cry. But no one will ever make him do the same to you.

• He respects you very much. He respect everyone's opinion, but yours is different. When you say something, he wants to listen to you. Even if there are doubts as to whether it will be okay, he will check it for you. You may not go well or nothing. But with a smile, he will be ready for the next try.

• He is sad when you are sad. All he want is your smile.

• He would love to talk to you, you are smart for him because he is stupid. (Don't let him say he's stupid because he isn't always like that)

• He will do whatever you want with you. He is not afraid of any activities. He is young, and he certainly knows how to play games. You can play anything. If he has never played anything like this, don't be afraid. He learns quickly.

It will be harder to make him dance. He will definitely not be dancing to any quiet music or gentle steps. Choreographies and maybe something dynamic. This is what I see in him.

Everyone would like to sleep. But it's one of his favorite activities outside of meeting friends.

Also doing sports. He is ready to play any game or run or just plain training without any sense.

He loves watching TV. No matter what he will watch.

• As a very understanding person, Yuji knows very well that sometimes you have a bad time. He knows exactly that sometimes life sucks, and sometimes even he needs to disappear for a while to take a break from it all.

• His love language is certainly physical touch. Words of affirmation and spending time too.

When he loves you, he will be with you every moment. To cheer you up or keep you in the mood.

He understands your insecurity. Therefore, he will hold your hand or hug you. Nothing by force. He will try to keep you safe so that you always know that you can rely on him. He will only do everything else if you want it yourself. When you let him.

"Don't worry. I will always be with you. You can count on me. Trust me. I would never hurt you."

[wwy009sideblog]

Wait a damn minute, did I just read that shippers said Rin not hugging the twins is a culture thing? An asian culture thing? LMAOOOO! I can't anymore with their mental gymnastics. I'm Asian and if one doesn't want to hug you, then she doesn't want to hug you, simple as that. What bullshit are they trying to pull now? They just can accept that Sunrise is making their ship shitty lmao!

Wait a damn minute, did I just read that shippers said Rin not hugging the twins is a culture thing? An asian culture thing? LMAOOOO! I can't anymore with their mental gymnastics.

Lmao!! Yeah, even I have read a few comments saying it's an Asian culture thing, lol. They even said that Rin acted that way cause "She is the lady of the West." 🤣.

I'm Asian and if one doesn't want to hug you, then she doesn't want to hug you, simple as that.

Damn, you are savage anon😭. Lol!!!!

Say 👏 it 👏 again  👏 louder 👏for the people 👏 in the back!!!👏

What bullshit are they trying to pull now? They just can accept that Sunrise is making their ship shitty lmao!

They are coping at the moment, lol. Some shippers are trying to use the Asian culture thing and Lady of the west bs to cope, but:

1. If she is the Lady of the west, why was she staying with Kaede?

2. The way she treated the twins was cold; you can’t excuse that she now belongs to the royal family as a reason to not go for a hug.

Like, in this very episode, we have Ogigayatsu Hiiragi Danjo with his daughter, Princess Aiya. This nobleman is discussing important matters(Kirinmaru bringing degenerate age) with Kohaku while his daughter sits next to him. 

Like, I don’t know how royal family members work but I find it funny his daughter is present with him for such an important discussion. I guess she is a Princess, that’s why, but  still its funny, lol.

They are actual royal family members in the Yashahime universe.

And he is even nonchalant about his annoying daughter’s behavior, who is clearly invading Hisui’s personal space, lol.

Even if Rin’s nature is not like Hiiragi Danjo or Princess Aiya as the alleged mother, her reaction is cold af!! Like she cried for Towa, she talked to both the twins but never bothered touching or even reaching out to the twins. There was a clear distance between them.

Even if I assume she is about to disappear, the episode never showed Rin's hand reaching towards Towa or Setsuna. That's hella cold for someone claiming that she wanted to see the twins and someone who asked the twins to allow her to hug them, lol.

A normal parent or guardian, even if they don't hug their kids, will reach out for their kids' hand, touch their forehead, head, and cup their kids face, you name it!

Heck, deadbeat father Sesshomaru has also done the most basic thing during chaos.

[awda]

Twelve days of Tarot messages for the zodiacs • Day two Taurus ♉️

@ hellokittymexico instagram

all rights reserved

Hi muerte babys!!!

For this series, it will be a collective read, meaning if this doesn’t resonate with you and you happen to be an Taurus Sun, Moon or Rising, that means this message is simply not for you. If you’d like a more accurate read to fit your situation, you have the opportunity to book with me here.

There are three piles for you to choose from. All are for anyone whom is an Taurus Sun, Taurus Moon, or Taurus Rising.

—

PILE ONE

Two of Wands, 3 of Swords, Page of Wands, The Hierophant, 2 of Cups - Situation

King of Cups, 4 of Wands, Queen of Swords - Advice

Hey Pile one chooser(s),

Some of you may have Aries in your chart or have recently been stalked by an Aries or came into conflict with one 👀… (I say this because, from my last read with my Aries bbies, I pulled 2 of Wands rx)

Anyways, I see recently you’ve dealt with heartbreak. Whoever broke your heart got you out here looking like 2 of Wands 💀 You are stalking this person, I see, and you’re trying to collect more information on them. I feel like whoever this is recently gotten into a new relationship, with The Hierophant possibly a marriage and you’re jealousssssssss.

Luckily for you, Tarot has advice, that you can either take or stay in the 2 of Wands energy. Okay so, Tarot is saying, to be more emotionally mature, put your feelings behind you right now and see this person’s perspective, they already are making a life with another person, why waste energy on them when they aren’t even interested in you anymore? If you’re feeling a little petty, with the Queen of Swords, Tarot is saying you can either take the opportunity to tell this person how you truly feel or be more emotionally reserved and reflect on the situation. Which will you choose?

PILE TWO

The Tower, 5 of Cups, 4 of Swords, Knight of Swords - Situation

9 of Swords - Reasoning

5 of Swords, The Hermit, The Magician, The Devil, 10 of Swords - Advice

Hey Pile two chooser(s),

Chale df 😭 Have there recently been a death in your life? Like a loss of a loved one or something?

I see recently you’ve definitely lost a loved one, and I feel like you’re keeping your emotions of how you truly feel about how this death has affected you, because before doing this reading I was scrolling on Tiktok and my The Hidden Truth tarot oracle deck fell randomly, so I feel like you aren’t expressing how you truly feel on this death. Also this could’ve been a very sudden death, like you didn’t expect this person to pass, from a blink of an eye.

I see you’re angry, very upset about this death, possibly this death could’ve been a murder, first of all I am so sorry for your loss. Is okay to grieve over things other people don’t usually think would consider “normal” to feel some type of way over.

You feel as if you just can’t express your grief, you feel shameful for expressing your sadness, maybe not expressing your emotions and sort of ignoring them, is your way of coping with your grief?

As for advice, Tarot says you need to reflect on this feeling of grief. It is necessary in order to move past it and heal. Ignoring your feelings as a coping method isn’t healthy, and never fully solves the situation. Here’s what happens if you ignore your feelings, when you get triggered randomly by something out of the blue like months later, feeling like you’ve healed from the situation because you’ve forced it deep downside you, you’ll just be overwhelmed with emotions not knowing the cause.

Work on yourself, what made you happy before this situation, your goals, put your energy into your goals for once, I feel like this could be very recent or a past situation, and something triggered this feeling/memory for you all over again.

You need to accept this loved ones passing, it isn’t healthy to cling onto it. If you need help, please do get it, I am so sorry for your loss, once again. ❤️‍🩹🙏🏼

PILE THREE

9 of Cups, 3 of Cups, 2 of Cups, 4 of Wands, 3 of Wands, King of Pentacles - Situation

Queen of Pentacles, Page of Pentacles - Advice

Hey Pile three chooser(s),

Whew the last read was truly heartbreaking. So I’m glad that atleast the last pile wasn’t as sad.

Anyways, I see you are emotionally fulfilled, satisfied with your situation currently. I feel like you’re in a three way relationship, like a open relationship?

Or maybe you’re in a friend group and you are developing feelings for one…

Okay first scenario: You’re in a three way relationship and you’re emotionally satisfied currently with it, you are all building a successful future together, yet I feel you kind of feel left out? Like you are more clinged to the other person than the other in the relationship, you’re more lovey dovey with one than the other, possibly you could be in a relationship with a Sugar daddy/Sugar mommy or a Pimp 💀

Second scenario: You’re in a friend group and one of the friends, you’re catching romantic feelings for. You see a future with this person and you both could be/ identify as feminine.

For advice, Tarot says for first scenario, you should work on your security issues, I feel you should bring this up to your partner, or partner(s).

For advice, Tarot says for second scenario, bring up your feelings to this person and persuade interest, start offering to hangout more, show them what you can offer them.

—

That’s all, love you Taurus bbies 💗

-> Reblog if resonated