#why cant it be my safe space too? i shouldnt have to be treated like this and see all these stereotypes 😑

[faerociousbeast]

i was gonna finally sumeru since i finally dainsleifed but i cant bring myself to do it tbh.

[pineappleparfaitie]

(Originally this was shorter but i got so mad while typing i just went on, the following is just some of my frustrations over the recent shit thats happened in this community)

The hypocrisy i have been seeing in the sfw vore community is fucking SAD

Im sorry i ranted abt this yesterday but it hasnt gotten better

Youre telling me we will yell st NSFW blogs who dont read our bios,dni's, pinned posts and tags and say how they are doing harm and they neee to read every little thing

But if a sfw vore blog reblogs NSFW and doesn't check all the biosxall the pinned posts,tags ect its a mistake?

You arent exposing minors into the NSFW space, instead you are exposing them to NSFW content

We will nag and complain and WHINE about gross nsfw stuff on our TL, how these blogs interact with us, vent about how uncomftrable it makes us but when someone we know does it its ok its not the worst thing!Not like minors still saw NSFW stuff!Not like someome actively has multiple friends that are minors and then puts these kids in danger by rebloging this content!Totally.

Stick to your morals, if it applies to 1 scenario it applies to everyone

And COMMUNICATION GUYS

Communication is a thing. DMS . Istg some people never watched stuff relating to the Art commentary community OR ANY COMMENTARY VIDEO cause youd THEN know how to compile evidence, how to focus less on personal gripe amd more on objective facts and know how tf to present shit.

But most importantly? KEEP SHIT PRIVATE. IF you confront the person on their poor behaviour privetly, and they still keep it up, THEN maybe shed light on it. But dont make stupidly formed "callouts" that make 0 sense unless you reread it. No one is going to listen to evidence if you cant even present it properly. And dont make claims of ableism with no elaboration other than a few personal views. And also dont say "this person said this about me" without showing screenshots.

Oh and while im at it-

Dont.Make.Threats and PETTY INSULTS to people. That shit is VILE unless the person is a convicted criminal and an actual monster making death threats,torture threats, eishes of harm sooo fucking casually is BEYOND INSAINE. And if these people are YOUR friends, you should tell them off not some people who hardly know them. Your friends behaviour will reflect poorly on you.

This shit has been so poorly handled by both sides ,1 cant present evidence or a callout (WHICH SHOULDNT HAVE EVEN HAPPENED) and the other refuses to acknowledge any wrong doing and believes they are inncoent and havent done harm and focus more on them than the minors they put st risk.

Oh and btw ya i was one of the people exposed to NSFW blogs and shit due to this whole confuckle. Harm and discomfort was done. IM an example.

I am more mad at the anon and disappointed at the other person at the end of this.

We know who this person is- most of the community does and WE know they meant no real harm. But other blogs dont know that and people have already been contacted by 18+ blogs telling them they arent safe and AT THIS POINT I DONT BLAME THEM BUT STILL ISNT FUN. ITS NOT FUN FOR HORNDOGS TO COME TO YA AND SAY WEIRD SHIT TO YA OR HOW YOU ARE DISGUSTING CAUSE SOMEONE YOU TRUSTED CANT CHECK DNI'S!

This is AGAIN being treated as drama. Always Drama. Not only is someones reputation being hurt and damaged because of poor wording,poor choices ect but minors are being harmed.

And I know im going to be told im blowing things out of proportion, im aware.

But if we throw such a fucking PISS FIT over NSFW blogs even LIKING our posts, why cant we criticise friends and moots who also put us in danger?

Intent is important to consider, but your action will ring louder than words.

Do better. Stop saying minors being harmer is drama. Stop saying were taking things too seriously, stop saying this shit.

GOD

I dont believe btw this person (one who has a callout made on them) is a bad person i would still love to be on good terms eith them and stay moots/friends but it becomes difficult when you see how they react to putting you at risk.

[sonicaro]

its literally so stupid that transfems and transmascs fight over whether they both have separate experiences because its so obvious when you look at it that no matter what kind of trans (OR intersex for that matter, or gnc, or anything) youre experiencing both misogyny and yes. transandrophobia. think about it. trans women are treated like e makes them weak and stupid, once they pass theyre talked over, if they dont do The Most Possible 2 appear feminine (god forbid yr happy w yr body or butch) ppl will NOT respect u as a woman. and yet they experience fear from others and are treated like interlopers because of their traditionally masculine traits. everyones like ewwwwww you have a penis blah blah raging hormone monster blah blah and saying you dont REALLY belong in womens spaces. and then trans men and mascs are treated like silly confused girls from what i hear. like o are u SURE u dont want boobs its PERMANENT and youre so PRETTY blahblah we have to save you from yourself and assault you so you realize yr just a lesbian. but then, and especially once/if you pass, its all "you shouldnt be in womens spaces (gynecologist, stuff thats for people w vaginas not just women) youre a threat that t will change you into a raging monster ewww u want a penis??? like we are really not that different and are both discriminated against for having traditionally masculine and feminine traits. too much and not enough of either. but in different ways which is why i think its good to have a word for common experiences that transcend agab and direction of transition, and words for things that affect specific groups of people (nonbinary people, transfems, transmascs) because its all so connected but nuanced. and lets be real stuff like race and disability and class figures into this all heavily. its complicated it cant be boiled down so much. if a word w a similar purpose sounds similar its not copying and its not the same as being an mra and also we have to both listen to eachother because literally no side is consistently doing that i think. whatever this is just a ramble we're all connected we're all different we're all beautiful transmascs and transneutral ppl are my besties my allies we should all feel safe and seen and heard together.

[g0dtier]

Ok look even i realize i cant make a post like that before elaborating so as someone who has an art degree, was groomed themselves and was raised by someone who worked with teenagers who were groomed specifically for 20 years, heres my take on why tumblrs mentality towards fiction (&real degeneracy) is wrong and what you can do to help victims

Im gonna leave out the whole "fiction = reality" shit because at this point everyone knows it doesnt, they just cherry pick where to believe it does. This is not a black and white issue. Fiction may bring up something that was already there, but since none of us are shooting celebs because of books or molesting animals cause furry shit exists, its safe to say theres a line. 1000s of teen boys idealize that one dipshit from fight club. 99% grow out of it. The few that dont were already fucked up and wouldve ended up blowing some shit up either way. No, ao3 is not normalizing pedophilia and you are in no way helping victims. Youre kind of being a detriment.

Pedophiles may use fiction to groom kids, but they did that before fandom existed as well. There is no big difference between using fiction of 2 teens vs fiction of 2 adults to groom a kid cause a pedophile will either say "youre so much more mature than these fictional kids" or "youre so mature for your age you might as well be an adult, i think this fictional adult couple really represents us" and the minor will still take it as a compliment because that is the point of the action. The reason the abusers can take advantage of them is because they want that validation, for reasons listed below. The form that validation comes in doesnt matter.

Tumblrs mentality is purely focused on outrage. Its about hating the perpetrators and pretending people who arent perpetrators actually are, not about helping the victims.

People here have a wrong idea of what a relationship between a minor & pedophile looks like & how they function. People forget that while to us normal people the minors come across as victims in a horrifying situation (which they are), to the minors themselves it doesnt look anything like that. The problem with many of these relationships is not that the minors dont know what theyre doing or are doing it against their will, the problem most of the time is that they, in their minds, are active participants who choose to do this.

Pedos often actively look for kids in fragile situations. No self esteem, bad home life, severe depression. These are the reasons kids want the validation i listed before. Theyre vulnerable to it because they dont get any of it anywhere else and here theres an adult figure just giving it to them.

The point of a grooming is to give the kid validation and make the kid rely on them. To make the kid believe that the adult is the only one who understands them. Its to put the responsibility of the abusers mental wellbeing on the kids' shoulders in the kids' head. And 99% of the time kids already have a close relationship with the abuser when it gets to that point because of aforementioned validation. They create codependency.

So you know what angrily screeching "pedophile!" at any adult interacting on any level with a teenager does? It gives the abuser a reason to call themselves the victim and itll give the minor, whos likely already reluctant to be open about something an abuser does making them uncomfortable because many of them already have low self esteem and dont trust their own judgment and are scared of the consequences (for example: losing what to them is the only person that understands them) even less likely to talk about it. Because regardless of what tumblr thinks, most of these kids do not realize theyre being abused until much later. Theyre not waiting for someone to give them an out.

And no, no matter how hard you try, youre never gonna convince teens that the person theyre talking to is abusing them. Almost every single victim talks about how they hate abusers but how theirs isnt one, adults included. Theyre just misunderstood, or lonely, or really didnt mean it like that. Teens arent gonna listen to randos on the internet trying to convince them the 23yo who "relies on them for help and who is only in love with them, a 15yo, because theyre just really special and cool" is an abuser. Teens are gonna do stuff behind the back of others and lie about it because teens have a really bad case of "dont tell me what to do" syndrome.

What you CAN do to help teens:

- vote for more funding to health care, specifically mental health care. I know everyone rags on cps but cps does not take away children for no reason and will ALWAYS strife to work it out with the parents by offering personal help if possible

- strife to create a safe space for teens to talk about their experiences. Demonizing any adult interacting with children, no matter how creepy it may seem to you or me, makes the victims more reluctant to come forward. Theyre abuse victims. Adult abuse victims dont respond well to "girl youre being abused leave him!!" either. They respond a lot better to "wow dont you think he shouldnt treat you like that? Dont you think your feelings matter and hes being unfair to you?". You need to demonize the actions, not the context of the relationship because teens have already decided the context itself is fine and its usually not what they have a problem with and they wont till theyre older, no matter how hard you try to convince them.

- giving teens safe spaces to learn/talk about sex and what is or isnt right in a relationship. Most pedophiles are not stable. Theyre often codependent or manipulative or overbearing. Teach kids how to recognize these signs and that theyre not ok.

What doesnt help teens:

- taking down ao3 or yelling that some horndog on twitter drew an adult character looking too young. Taboo fiction is not linked to actual degeneracy and doesnt normalize any of it and is not a more succesful tool to help groom kids than anything else. Pretending it is will make minors less likely to seek help tho because the fear of backlash as stated above.

[theshootingcanuck-blog]

I got up early this morning. Geared up my Mossberg MVP to take out to the backwoods close to my place. Went out.....and didn't shoot a single round in ammunition..... why? Well Its Sunday, I came out after the first large snowfall, and its cool, about -15 Id say. Well that’ll keep the weekend warriors at bay right? Wrong. I know its hunting season, and frankly all the vehicles and people I saw on my commute where there for that reason. I sat in my truck for 10 minutes to wait and hear if there would be a crack of a rifle, nothing, no target shooters or plinkers.. So out of respect and because with all the human traffic, game was no where to be found anyway I decided not to be the one to make all the noise and scare everything away.

About 50 yards from my truck I notice this piece of plywood, screwed high up on a tree, behind it? a forest, then the creek, then the highway, and a campground. What a risky set up to be shooting out in the open where your hope is the trees stop your bullets, and whoever was shooting at this didn’t have a little .22, whatever he shot cut the tree in half.

So i did my due diligence and ripped the board off the tree and threw it into the back of my pickup. This way other shooters don't come out, see it, and use it themselves as the original shooter did. Talk about seeing that right off the bat before I even got a quarter of the way down the cut-line. It was all I could think about, being out there wasn't about testing the Mossberg, this article is about shooting safety in the back woods.

I don’t want to be the one to school those whom follow proper protocols and have their head on straight, its the select few that ruin the entire sports image, and no shooter..hunter..or competitor is unfamiliar with the situation. When I go out into the back country to set up my target and shoot I always treat it as if it where my backyard, pick up my casings, collect the target and the target frame, and I always leave with at least one piece of garbage more than I have brought. And if your reading this and I described you perfectly, good on you! If you cant relate, pay attention, stuff like this is why the public range in my area was shut down, and why its increasingly hard to find private ranges, and of course, why its harder to shoot on crown land.

Pictured here is a power pole that has seen the wrath of a shotgun, as well as some larger caliber holes as well as some work done by a woodpecker.

So here it goes, my list of protocols to follow when you are shooting in the backwoods;

1. ALWAYS KNOW WHERE YOUR BULLET IS GOING TO LAND

I can’t believe someone actually goes out onto public owned lands, sets up a target, and shoots wherever their eyes lead them to. Pictured above is a power pole in which someone had made the centerpiece of their rifle scope, behind it, is all forest. When you are shooting on shared land you have to understand that you are sharing it with a bunch of other people with different hobbies, If my bullets wanders into a forest, I wont sleep at night wondering how far it went and if it landed on...or in something it should not have. ALWAYS ALWAYS know exactly where your bullet will land, generally you should be looking for a hill side that will stop the bullet dead.

Pictured here is a equestrian trail, situated 50 meters in behind the power pole pictured earlier.

2. Situational Awareness

The crown lands near highly populated areas always attracts many tourists and locals enjoying their specific hobbies. Mountain biking, hiking, equestrian riding in the summer months or cross country skiing, sledding and hunting in the fall/winter months, there will always be someone out doing something out there.

As a shooter it is your job to know whether it is safe to shoot or not, common sense has to come into play, If your out on august long weekend mid-day and think your going to get some shooting in, first is there are going to be lots of witnesses. Second is you don't know what these people are doing, where they are going and if they will unknowingly wander onto your range. The what if scenarios i could write about will be abundant, Unfortunately firearms are last when it comes to first come first serve, we need lots of space, and we do use dangerous tools that are able to kill, Yell at me saying guns aren't dangerous but frankly they are only as dangerous as who is using it. Be mindful of others in the area, be respectful of others, and please dear god don't do anything to endanger others.

3. Do Some Recon.

This kind of goes along with situational awareness, before setting up and start shooting on your chosen range site, its a good idea to walk around the area, check to make sure no one is around, no cattle is hanging around, things like that. In my area there are lots of trees, and those trees are good at hiding things, Before I even set up my target I go for a walk. I walk in behind  and around where my range is set up to make sure nothing is there, no trails, people or livestock. 

4. Look out.

So we have now checked our range, we know where our bullets going, and no one is in immediate danger, that's right not immediately. When we are looking down through our scope its very easy to get tunnel vision, its good practice to keep on the look out for anyone or anything that might show up unexpectedly. Keep a pair of binoculars with you, or if your out with a friend make sure one is watching the big picture while the other zooms in on target. The last thing you need is to be shooting out to 800-1000 yards and a mountain bikers pops into focus while your bullet is mid-flight. Which brings me to my next point...

5. Go Long! but not too long.

Long range precision shooting is becoming increasingly popular. Its challenging, and for many its flirting with the sniper-fantasy that video games and movies have created.

In my area there is only one range I know that has a 100 meter range, after that there is one range that goes out to 500 meters, and then the rest only go out to 200 meters maybe not even that, so a lot of people turn to the crown land for a long range shot. This once again ties into a common topic Ive already addressed.....Common sense, and situational awareness. At 1000 yards a .308 Winchester round will be in flight for almost 2 seconds (under certain conditions), sounds fast right? it Is, but.....lets add the average human reaction time which is around .30 seconds. so 2.30 seconds from which the brain decides to take the shot, your finger to squeeze the trigger and the bullet to accelerate and fly to the target. There is enough time for something to wander onto your bullet during that time period.

My rule of thumb for crown land shooting is half a kilometer max, plus its hard to find anything further than that in the trees. Though I cant stop you from exceeding that distance, make sure you remember the above points mentioned.

6. Keep it Clean!

I hate driving up to my favorite shooting spot and seeing spent casings and shotgun rounds laying around, beer cans and a make-shift campfire in the middle of a fire ban. Though I do love it when they leave .223 casing around I can reload I hate seeing it in the wilderness and even more so I hate seeing non-shooters see it.

Keep track of your spent ammo, take it home with you, I don't see this problem with rifle shooters as much as shotgun enthusiasts. I hate to say it but skeet shooters are the messiest of the bunch, especially with the fragments of orange clays laying around. Though i understand that you have better things to do than pick up all the pieces of clays, and plus its clay, its not going to hurt the environment, it just looks bad being orange, but I can get by that. What I cant get by Is beer bottles! liquor, water bottles soda cans any of it! i took 20$ worth of cans that I have collected from the backwoods in the last year. Its the lowest one can be. Not to mention you shouldn't be drinking and handling a firearm at the same time.

Sorry, that rant is getting a little out of hand. The point i am trying to make here is to leave with more garbage than you have arrived with, (Not that your selfish drunk assholes, well because if your reading this you probably aren't one of them anyway.) its nice to keep our back yard clean.

7. Do Not Drink and Shoot

I touched on this topic in the above point. And so we are clear....Alcohol...you can drink your water Smart Alec! This shouldnt need any explaining.

So to reiterate, we as shooters have to be above the average when it comes to our behavior and etiquette. With firearms already being under the microscope so much people and politicians are very quick to take anything away from us as they can. Like the public shooting range in my area, it was shut down because of peoples poor respect of the place and for the sport. Crown land is constantly being closed off to shooters and if things keep going the way they are we will have to either get lucky enough to join a private range (which is hard to do) or our firearms will collect dust in the cabinets. So the choice is yours.

*Drops Mic*

Did I miss something that is important and should be shared? Leave a comment or PM me!

~TSC

[luziflor]

Witchling tips

1. Let your first grimoire be junky! Buy a small and cheap notebook with no fancy decorations as your first grimoire. Why? Because even experienced witches change their path as they learn more and more. If you are like me, once you have things so memorized you no longer need the tutorial, you wont want all those pages taking up space in a pricy nice grimoire. And this means you can experiment with your writing and drawing stlye in the cheap book, and have more use of the nice one.

2. Your grimoire is for your craft only. Add sheets that interest you. You do not need the dates of each zodiac sign and what they represent if you arent ever going to look at it.

3. BUT WHAT IF I DO NEED IT AT SOME POINT??? Basic rule- Information hard to memorize and could absolutely be useful? Add a sheet in your grimoire for the very basic information about it and especially where to find the important info about it, for later. Information is easy to find and passed around a lot? You will likely have it all memorized at some point and maybe shouldnt be a priority. Write a note in your phone that doesnt need internet, or in your computer. Write on a small post it note and stick it to the inside of a drawer in your desk. Or even the inside page of your grimoire, and you can just toss it later.

4. Do not think you can only be one type of witch, or have to identify your type of witchcraft. And Be Open to being a rare type of witch that you cant find much information about. But study even harder for this.

5. I can not stress this one enough- do not go pining after super powerful deities or wanting to be some sort of spirit and demon lord. Lots of new witches want to do this for power and just simply being cool. But people who are able to do this and do it well have studied for years usually and have the strength it needs. You have to build up to it. And also, dont treat it like some hardcore aesthetic. Demons dont want to be your armcandy, and will fuck u up if you try. (and deities dont want that sort of disrepect- you may find them ignoring you entirely or teaching you a lesson)

6. You dont need a reference sheet of 50 plants that all the other witches have, when all thats around you is clover and daisies. Write what the clover does, see if you can find rare types of it around you and what they mean too. Write all the things you can do with clover or how to use it in a pinch. Same with daisies. Yes, all of the knowledge is great to know, but dont waste time and energy on something that wont be of use to you in reasonable time.  

7. What if you have lots of weird and exotic plants around you but cant find any magick references on them? Make them yourself. Study its history and go off of that, and your initial gut reaction to seeing it. Symbolism is not meant to just be the popular opinion, it is personal too and sometimes stronger from that. (and of course- please be careful and make sure you are not playing with a dangerous plant or one that is super rare and needs to be left alone).

8. Reference sheets are not just for what things symbolize, but can also be for where to find them. For example, maybe you dont want to or cant buy blackberries but need them right now. Remember that random wild bush behind your college that you saw? Into the grimoire it goes. Write down the item you can find, where to find it, and any important notes. Add several locations that you know where to find random things, when you know its safe to use and doesnt belong to anyone (or you have permission). 

9. If you do divination or other types of readings you dont have to put it in your grimoire, and you dont have to discard it. Grab a second cheap notebook or folder, and write down the date, reading type, and your message. Later you can go back and write down how things came true, what you didnt expect to happen but did, etc. You can write lots and lots of stuff down into a notebook that is still important but wont take away from things you may need for a super long time.

10. Grimoires do not have to be books. They can be notes in your phone, pictures you save, tumblr blogs, other blogs, photos in a photo album, folders, etc. Find what works for you, and your first one doesnt have to be perfect or exactly the type you want. Get all the information you need in that junky one, and upgrade to the real one you want after youve gotten more experience and can get that nice one you want.

These are just my personal opinions and should be taken with a grain of salt! Im not a witchling but this is information that became very needed and obvious to me after I started my grimoire and ran out of space, and when I moved to a foreign country. 

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: Worth leaving your park for? Carly: fun Carly: he likes you more but its k cuz so do i Ali: nah Ali: he was so 😍 for the whole sitch I thought he might genuinely explode on sight Ali: it was fun tho, you were so good Carly: that would've been disappointing Carly: he was better than i thought hed be Carly: lads that cocky dont usually come through Carly: youre always good Ali: yeah, i'll give him that Ali: obviously overhyped himself but all lads do Ali: worth it to see my baby work it Ali: and i hope not 😉 Ali: though u can tell my Ma that, get me off the hook, like Carly: not just lads me too Carly: never seen you play someone like that before tho Carly: we gonna try this on caleb next or Carly: she scares me more than your ex but still would Carly: for you my baby Ali: how can you, you're perfect Ali: i know, crossing lads but not each other back then, babe Ali: not mad, not exactly my finest hour but wouldn't hate having met you sooner Ali: idk if it'd work on him Ali: he's not as dumb as Drew, bless him 😘 Ali: felt weird being at his house, woulda died if any of them had come back, like 😂 Ali: never mind my Ma, have you ever seen his? Carly: you're too sweet Carly: i kno cuz you wanna treat him nice like you do me Carly: not how you did drew hot as that was tho Carly: nah thats the first time ive been there & mas w sons give me space like Carly: sorry we should have brought him back to here my bad Ali: blah shut up 😏 Ali: obvs I wanna ride him too but idk Ali: gives off #loyal vibes to me so probs not a goer Ali: Well you know, had to show you what a real girl on girl on boy threesome was all about, boo Ali: nah, it added to the experience Ali: whatever it was, it wasn't boring Carly: i kno that he gives off 😍 for you Carly: & you like him Carly: catch you in his room collecting hair or w ever to put a spell on the boy Carly: when you could just do it the easy way Carly: aw never boring when im w you girl Carly: youve shown me a lot Ali: There's definitely attraction but I don't really know him Ali: Only see some people at parties, he's one of 'em Ali: like you said, we didn't properly SEE each other 'til now, did we? same kinda vibe Ali: my rep proceeds me 💀 Ali: where's the fun in easy? Ali: besides, I'm with you, and you're so fucking cute Ali: who else I need Carly: k but if you want him to see you you've gotta get out there Carly: if you can turn me you can make him forget your rep Carly: got the magic baby you kno Carly: you're cuter Carly: making me blush Ali: you're right Ali: work on being MORE extra Ali: the world ain't ready 😉 Carly: me either Carly: you're also so hot Carly: unfair Carly: if you get more Ali: baby Ali: making me miss you already Ali: that's what's unfair Carly: can i be at yours later tho Carly: my parents are fighting about me & think idk Carly: bitch its a caravan Ali: That's fun Ali: about parenting styles or? Ali: Of course you can Ali: I share a room with Ro though remember, so, best behaviour Carly: ha Carly: theyve got no flair Carly: about to throw this washing up bowl at my ma as my contribution to the convo Carly: shit i forgot Carly: maybe i shouldnt come over then Ali: trying to think of a witty one-liner for when you do Ali: all i've got is 'this convo is as dull as dishwater' lemme workshop it, hold fire boo Ali: nah, please come Ali: lmao, flashbacks to Drew there but forreal Ali: we can sleep on the sofa if needs Carly: lads are so funny Carly: i thought he was gonna cry w he thought we'd changed our minds Carly: good stash tho Carly: only reason my ma still running her mouth about me Carly: well zen Ali: another night crywanking Ali: gutting Ali: yeah, and you see all that fancy shit in his room, clearly on his big badman hype Carly: cant ever bring him here Carly: never hear the end Ali: gonna have trouble keeping him away now, babe Ali: 💦 Carly: only if youre here Carly: you speak the local lingo yea? Ali: Gabh mo leithscéal? Ali: 😏 Carly: wtf Carly: you could've just said yea babe Ali: could've but i'm a showoff Carly: cant act like i dont love it now Ali: can but it'd be a blatant lie Ali: right tongue workout, Gaelic, like Carly: thatll be why you bothered & i never Carly: very gay of you Ali: odds already stacked against me being 50% scum Ali: had to do what i could, babe Carly: help me out then Carly: my da's trying to start a fight w ronan's da who dont even speak english Carly: funny or fucked that he thinks thats where i go Carly: guaranteed his da is calling me a slag while my dad does the same Carly: ha Ali: 😒 Ali: fight for your honour or gtfo Ali: So stupid Ali: want me to rock up translator cum where you've been wasting your time? Carly: i told em all ive been too busy having 3ways w you & the golden god but they aren't having it Carly: gonna have to give you all a show, am i lads that aint what you want da but its what ill do k Carly: walking away before they start kissing themselves Carly: the tension Ali: Oh, middle-aged straight men Ali: never far away from a crisis or homoerotic awakening Ali: Join the club Carly: grab another beer lads itll be alright Carly: im not knocked up or running off with your lad Carly: do wanna get out of here tho Ali: Oh he is not potential baby daddy material at all Ali: Please Ali: come over or you wanna go somewhere else Ali: think my Da is firing up the BBQ, another staple of manliness Ali: sure we can keep him from brawling and strictly on the burgers tho Carly: who is Carly: get me on the ferry before you get me down the aisle Carly: k im walking Carly: keep me company babe Ali: valid Ali: benefits of being a gay is no awkward hush hush trips to England Ali: of course Carly: if only my parents believed i like you Carly: get back to slagging me off for other shit Carly: irish at me again. i liked it Ali: Bit offended, like, have you seen me guys? I'm a sensation Carly: i dont think they know who you are sorry Ali: Tá tuillte agat ar fud an domhain, Carly Walsh Ali: at least I can dramatically ask 'em then and really fucking mean my shock horror Carly: if you don't live on site you don't exist Carly: do i need to be offended at what you're saying about me in that gay tongue twister Ali: everyone got their own bubble Ali: i found out the world extends beyond the end of my street tho but you do you lads, it is easier that way Ali: tho not safer, ask ginge 😈 Ali: i hope not Ali: was nice, promise Carly: i wanna see more of it than this Carly: like you said wheres the fun in easy Carly: shit yea shes your ronan like Carly: she gonna show herself at the bbq Carly: i believe you, you don't kno how to be anything else to me even if you should Ali: You will Ali: Make sure of it Ali: I've shown you the stars, gonna show you the wonders on this world too, scout's honour Ali: omg, so is Ali: although she doesn't occasionally come by when she's horny Ali: so we're safe Ali: she'd never trust me serving her a bevvy, like 🧙‍♀️ #witchesbrew Ali: why should I? don't be telling me what to do woman 😜 Carly: maybe she should Carly: she might be less sad and mad once she's had a ride w you Carly: you gonna play like you don't like it now Carly: just in the bedroom k hear you Ali: I'll put it out there Ali: get ready to cover my bruises this time Ali: 😏 Ali: time and a place, baby Carly: if you're showing her what real magic is she can't be mad Carly: but if she is she can go through me i got you girl Carly: wont beat me a second time like Ali: my lil million dollar baby Ali: into it Carly: your sister would be too Carly: not in the same way but would get her on side Ali: she's so on side Ali: now she knows you ain't tryna be my bosom bud like that Carly: she still dont vibe w me tho Carly: i kno it wasnt just that Ali: she's just shy, don't worry Ali: no one out here you need to impress but me and i already am Carly: what about your ma and da Carly: i kno they arent shy Carly: how do you want me to play that Ali: just be you you don't gotta do anything more or less baby Carly: im scared Ali: you don't have to be, I swear, Ma's not as bad as she 👀 and my Da's a big softie Ali: you can just come as my friend, they aren't gonna pry Carly: k Carly: i trust you Carly: itll be fun yea Ali: s2g Ali: you can meet Tommo, you'll like him Ali: and your fave will be dying for your attention, obvs Carly: mystery boy Carly: is he hot like your other brothers Ali: i'm not gonna confirm or deny 'cos bit weird Ali: also potentially rude if I nah it 'cos I reckon he ain't your type Ali: I cannot promise hot brothers making an appearance but you might get 🍀 Carly: hot sister then Carly: I dont mean my fangirl but the older one Ali: package deal with the freckly one Ali: not rock, weirddd Ali: but see, so ready with the compliments they're gonna 💚 u Carly: he's hot too Carly: & you kno i think the littlest is such a cutie Carly: but i dont wanna compliment anyone but you Ali: I'm not gonna complain about that Carly: better not cuz im almost at yours Carly: its too hot to turn around & walk back Ali: yay! Ali: lemme come get you Ali: i wanna kiss you before we have to be social Carly: i want you to kiss me whenever you feel like it Ali: might just take you up on that Carly: do cuz it means i can too Ali: deal 💚

[magical-agatha]

vent. dont reblog.

its not supposed to be a big deal if ur friends forget ur birthday and i know i shouldnt take it to heart but it does suck and for me in particular who has a rly hard time feeling like i matter and is like. rly desperate to matter to my friends. its hard not to be hurt. but i also feel like im being dumb. and i dont know how fair or reasonable im being. i dont know how to tell if being hurt that my friends didnt remember my birthday is a rational response or not. i dont know how to tell if anything i feel at all is rational and reasonable. i feel like im not allowed to have feelings or i shouldnt let myself have them or let them get out bc theyll just be wrong and unfair and irrational. and ppl will get sick of me. if they arent already. i hate having bpd. i hate that i have to worry about if im being irrational or not. bc theres no way for me to tell. all i can do is feel what im feeling. but im not allowed to do that bc my feelings are wrong. im tired and scared and im constantly a mess. i cry so much. almost daily. and im sick all the time. but i cant be content with being alone i have to want friends and wanting friends means wanting to be liked and wanting to matter and inevitably feeling like i dont matter. bc of little things. and bc it feels like im the only one trying. and maybe thats fine maybe we’re not a good fit or something. but i want to be friends with ppl. i want to keep trying. bc i want them to try too. bc i want to matter to them. maybe i do and maybe they are trying and im just missing all the signs. i dont know what to do or think. im so confused. it hurts and i want to run away. but running away doesnt work. running away means ‘im hurting pls come after me so i know i matter to you’ but it doesnt work like that. ppl dont chase you bc if u leave they think that means ur upset with them or want to be alone. so they give u space. and now you feel even more worthless bc of a misunderstanding and a lack of communication. my brain keeps urging me to run away and self isolate and i know that isnt a solution so im trying not to do it. but i dont know what the solution is. so its getting harder to resist the urge. and sometimes running away is cathartic. crying is cathartic. but catharsis doesnt work much anymore. bc the problems dont go away. so for me where i am catharsis is basically just a very brief respite. before all the feelings come back and it hurts again. bc nothing is solved. the problems are still there. and i dont know what to do. so i do nothing. i just cry and hurt and run away and then i come back when i feel a bit better. and then i feel worse. and it all repeats. i feel so stupid. its august. we wanted to move out before my birthday but we havent been able to. ive been at my limit for months. im basically just stretching my limit as far as i can trying to make it work and survive bc we will get out eventually and i just need to survive until then. no matter how. i just have to survive. somehow. and every time i feel like i cant go any further like i cant stretch my limit further and i cant cope anymore. every time i feel like im slipping and this is the end and im about to give up. i dont. i stretch it further and i cope. bc i dont have a choice. but im sure this is all doing so much damage to me. its not normal to cry so much ur constantly congested. i had a meltdown yesterday and punched a hole in my bedroom wall bc the limit broke and i couldnt stop myself. either i hit myself or i hit the wall. i scratched up my hand on the plaster as it went thru but i didnt break anything like i did the last time. i havent done that in years and i hate doing it. it makes me feel so ashamed. but at least now i know that its just a symptom of being pushed way past my limit and not being able to cope. my grandmother had been harassing me all day and id been stressing about someone and crying and very very depressed and then i dropped the vanilla slice i had got as a treat to make myself feel a bit better and suddenly it was all too much and i had a meltdown. im glad i didnt hurt myself. hitting myself would have been worse. i feel like i have to justify punching the wall like it did by saying if i hadnt i would have hurt myself. its not okay to punch a wall. i didnt want to do it. i feel like theres nothing i can say which will make it acceptable. even with all the context of why it happened. im still ashamed and i still wish i hadnt done it. but i didnt get a choice. saying that sounds like an excuse. i feel pathetic. i need to get out of here so i can be safe and get better and get on with my life. what do i do. what did i do to deserve this.