#why did i put so much angst into my sweet children | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

potatoplace · 1 month

Text

my tears ricochet

Azriel x Reader, Azriel x Elain

loml (part one)

Story Summary: Azriel meeting you, his mate, throws a wrench in all of his plans, nearly a decade in the making with Elain. He begins his mateship with you, still with Elain all the while telling you that you are the love of his life. But, not every good thing can last.

Warnings: Suicide (more graphic than first chapter imo), heavy angst, alcoholism, infidelity, sex

Words: ~6.2k

Author's Note: and here's the second part, now I have to warn you, the first one didn't make me cry at all. But this one? I was sobbing like Feyre and Az, typing through my tears. Thank you for all of the love you guys showed to loml, it means so much to me to see every comment and note. I hope you all enjoy the final part!

p.s. I almost named it Last Kiss. Taylor is just perfect for angst, I tell ya

18+ only pls

💙🤍💙🩷💙

The wind was rushing through his hair, cooling his body, slightly calming him. But his heart was still racing, his mind panicked.

His mate. He had finally met his mate.

But Elain… they had just started discussing the possibility of having children. And nearly ten years together, ten years of love and comfort.

He’d known this was a possibility, he had just thought it would never happen. That the Mother had made a mistake in not mating him to Elain. But now, that wasn’t true. It wasn’t the love of his life, his sweet, perfect Elain, it was some random woman in the streets of Velaris. Beautiful, yes, but she didn’t hold a flame to Elain’s beauty. Her scent however… a refreshing blend of apples and autumn rain, so overpowering he could hardly smell the air rushing past him, even this far away from her.

He needed to tell Elain. He had to tell her, before he did anything stupid, like turning around and finding the female he had just abandoned in the streets.

They’d discussed what might happen if he ever found his mate, and the possibility of it was why Elain has yet to fully reject the bond with Lucien, though as far as Azriel was aware, the two only saw each other at holiday parties and the occasional family dinner that Lucien attended. They’d decided that if he did find his mate, he would come immediately to Elain and they would talk it through.

So, he flew straight to the townhouse, landing next to Elain where she was kneeling on the grass, tending to her flower garden. “‘Lain,” he started, the tension in his voice causing her to stand up and look at him instantly. “I… I found my mate,” he said, regretting that he even had to say the words.

Tears filled her eyes, and he put his hands on her shoulders reassuringly. “All I did was see her in the street, baby. I left right after and I’m here now.”

Still, she shook her head. “I cannot believe this Azriel. Now?! Now that we’ve decided to try for a family, that’s when you find your mate? This is ridiculous!” Elain vented, and it was truly one of the first times Azriel had seen her angry.

“I know, and I’m so sorry. I wish I would never have seen her, I only love you.”

“You don’t know that you wouldn’t love her,” Elain scoffed. “But you have a decision to make. Are you going to reject the bond.”

Azriel opened his mouth, not quite believing how bold Elain was being. “I don’t know. That’s not exactly a decision to make lightly, Elain. You know that.”

“Oh, really? This again? Just because I haven’t rejected Lucien doesn’t mean that you don’t have to make a decision, Azriel.”

Azriel raised an eyebrow at her, shocked by her hypocrisy. “Then you have one to make as well, Elain. Lucien or I? Which will it be?” Elain opened her mouth for a moment, then closed it. “Exactly. It’s not as easy as you thought, is it?”

Elain sighed, her shoulders slumping forward. “Fine. You can get to know her, if you’d like. But the moment you want it to turn to something more, come find me again. Until then… let’s just continue as normal,” she suggested, pushing up on her tip-toes to give Azriel a kiss on the lips before scrunching her nose. “Ugh, I can smell her on you. Let’s go take a bath, hmm?” She led Azriel by the hand to her room, undressing him as she pushed him towards the bathroom.

💙🤍💙🩷💙

It was two weeks later, and Azriel had prepared himself enough mentally to seek out his mate. It didn’t take long, seeing as two of his shadows had followed her back to her home, reporting to him that she had spent the past fortnight crying herself to sleep and barely leaving the house except for her work.

He flew over to her house, an adorable one bedroom that had a nice porch on the front, and a stained glass door depicting the season of autumn, leaves changing color as they fall from a tree and landing in a pile at the bottom. The pale orange paint on the exterior was faded slightly, chipping away in places, but besides that the home looked well cared for.

He steeled himself, then walked towards that beautiful door, knocking carefully on its surface. It was time to get to know his mate.

💙🤍💙🩷💙

3 Months Later

Elain stared at him, obviously not believing what Azriel just told her as they stood in their shared bedroom.

“You want to be with her?”

Azriel sighed. Truly, he wanted both females to stay in his life, but that was impossibility. “Yes, Elain. I’ve… I’ve fallen for her, over the past few months.”

Elain hissed, her outrage making itself known. “A few months?!” She screeched at him. “You’re going to throw away a decade over a few months?!”

“I’m not… I’m not throwing it away, Elain, this is something I have to do. She’s my mate,” he sighed. He didn’t want to argue with her. “I don’t want you to leave my life, either. But the connection between us… it’s always there. I can feel her all the time, Elain, and I don’t want to do you a disservice by being unfaithful to you in my heart.”

Elain, who up until this point had been glaring at him, looked off into the distance, contemplating.

“So, don’t leave my life,” she stated plainly.

“I… what?” Azriel asked in disbelief.

“Stay in my life, stay with me, and you can have your little mate. Just as long as you know that you come home to me after missions, after anything important. I take precedence over her. And she won’t be welcome at any family gatherings. If they ask about her, say that she’s better suited as a friend.”

She said it all as if it was simple, as if it made sense. So Azriel believed her.

Because that way, he could have the female he’d loved for so long, and he could also have his mate.

It was truly the best of both worlds.

“Alright, Elain. That’s a fair enough deal. Are you sure you’ll be able to handle it?” He asked, prowling towards her and grabbing her by the waist.

“Oh, Azzie, I promise I’ll be fine with it. Do I love that you might fuck another female? No, but as long as I can send you to her covered in my scent, I’ll be fine,” Elain purred, running a hand up his chest.

“Oh?” Azriel smirked down at her, taking her face in his hand. “And how will you do that?” He breathed in her ear, kissing her neck gently.

��I have a few ways. Come to the bed and I’ll show you, Azzie.”

Matching grins covered their faces as Azriel picked her up and tossed her gently on the bed.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow he would tell Y/N that he wanted to be serious.

Tonight, however… tonight he would spend worshipping Elain’s body like the goddess she is deserves.

💙🤍💙🩷💙

5 Years Later

Shit, Azriel thought to himself. Shit shit shit.

He was late. So, very late.

Elain had wanted him to spend the night together, but it was his and Y/N’s fifth anniversary the next morning.

So, he’d left in the middle of the night after his mate’s breathing had evened out, flying off in the direction of the town house. He landed in front of a simpering Elain, obviously pleased with how the night was playing out.

They had spent the night wrapped in each other, falling asleep under the sheets together as the new day dawned upon them.

Azriel had, of course, planned ahead for the possibility of sleeping in a bit too long to return home before his mate awoken, a bouquet of roses, sapphire blue for him and a pale yellow for his sweet, sunshiney mate, and love note on the nightstand. He’d also left out a coffee and book he’d spent an agonizing amount of time convincing his mate’s favorite author to give him in advance of the commercial release on the kitchen counter. He hadn’t thought that he’d be so late though, the sun having risen nearly to the halfway point in the sky.

He only hoped his mate wouldn’t scent Elain’s arousal, still mixed heavily with his scent. She had never said anything in the past, and he believed she wouldn’t now.

With the speed he was flying towards her house, most of it should be whisked off of him by the time he reached her.

Once he landed, he made sure to take a moment to collect himself, taking a deep breath before pushing the door open, greeted by his mate’s lovely scent, coming from the window seat to the right of the door.

You ran to him, and he greeted you with his arms first, the weight of you so perfect in his arms, as though the two of you were carved out of the same flesh, finally put back together for the moment.

The day was perfect, ending with the two of you snuggled together in bed.

The dagger you had gifted him was perfect, ornate enough to be worn on his belt during ceremonies, and the curved blade had fascinated him at first. He realized that you had meant it more as a way to keep you with him on his missions, rather than to do much killing. Though, it would make some wicked stab wounds, possibly helpful in interrogations. However, he didn’t think he could bear using something so precious as a gift from you during the… messier parts of his occupation.

Nonetheless, it was a perfect, thoughtful gift, and he loved it, loved you so deeply.

He sighed.

It was nights like these when his conscious kicked in, reminding him of the traitorous double life he was living. Sure, Elain was well aware of the situation, maybe not of the depth of his emotions towards you, but that wasn’t something she needed to know.

You, however… you were completely in the dark, unaware that the best friend he went on about is really his life partner of a decade and a half.

He felt so guilty, but he didn’t know how to stop, with either one of you. Elain, they had so much history and you, well, you are his mate, the person the Mother had made just for him.

He breathed in your scent, his mind relaxing as he did so. Azriel reminded himself that he still had six years left before he needed to make a true decision between the two perfect females.

Six years didn’t feel like near enough time, it felt almost cruel that he had to limit himself to a decade until he made a decision about the mating bond. He supposed Elain didn’t know that detail, either.

And now that you wanted to meet his family… well. That decision may end up coming sooner rather than later.

It all depended on how he swung it.

He knew that Elain would be difficult to convince, but he believed he would be able to. His plan was to inform the family to not make any comments about his and Elain’s relationship, and tell them that you knew about them but are still very sensitive to the subject, preferring to avoid it overall. They already knew that the you and Azriel are “friends,” Azriel having been unable to keep you a complete secret from his nosy family.

Azriel had to make it happen, or you would know something is off.

He was lucky, all things considered, that you had waited five years to ask to meet his family.

The next morning after a nice lie-in with you, he took off for the townhouse, ready to rip the gauze off. He approached Elain, in the gardens as she normally was this time of day, working on the garden before the heat climbed up too high.

“Elain, can we talk in our room?” He asked her, relieved when she followed him without question.

“What is it?” She questioned, knowing he was here with a purpose.

“Y/N wants to meet the family.”

Elain immediately started to shake her head, infuriated by the idea. “No. No, Azriel! We agreed that she would not enter our lives before you started this, that won’t change now.”

“Baby, it would just be one dinner, I will tell her not to show any affection towards me, and her curiosity will be satisfied, I promise.”

Elain thought about it for a moment, her face still pinched in anger, before it relaxed in resignation. “If this dinner is to happen, you will fuck me in this very room while she sits in the living room. If not, my answer is no, Azriel.”

Azriel considered it, the nodded, knowing it was his only way forward. And, he couldn’t deny that the thought of fucking Elain with you in the next room excited him, the riskiness of it so tempting.

“Then, inform the rest of the family. Tell them whatever you need to to keep your silly little relationship with your mate a secret. I will not be embarrassed by this, Azriel,” Elain warned, a danger in her eyes.

“Thank you, Elain.” He moved in towards her, and whispered lowly in her ear, “The sex we will have in here on that night will rival every other time we’ve been together, baby.” A shiver ran down Elain’s spine, and she wrapped her arms around him.

“It better, Azzie. Otherwise I just might crush her heart myself,” She said in a sweet tone, but Azriel took it as the threat it was.

Still, as long as everything went to plan, he will keep his two females as his, for years to come.

💙🤍💙🩷💙

The dinner went perfectly, Y/N feeling insecure, while it pained him, truly worked out for the better. The less comfortable that first meeting had felt, the less likely she was to insist on attending another family dinner.

Over the next few months, he could tell you were preparing something, most likely some kind of surprise for his birthday. Every year, you outdid yourself. When he was in town- or rather, not with Elain- you would wake him up with his favorite pastries from his favorite café, or his favorite dish from Kalia’s, a wonderful little breakfast restaurant located along the Sidra. And every year, you gave him a different custom made item, from the spider silk gloves that were fire and tear proof to the fortified, comfortable boots that he wore to this day.

During that time as well, Elain was becoming bolder with her requests of his time, drawing him away most nights after you fell asleep, only to return a few hours later, slipping back into your bed with jasmine and honey coating his senses.

That didn’t matter though, not when he was more enamored with you than ever. You were so kind, so focused on his happiness, he hardly deserved the honor of being your mate. The guilt of the situation had been weighing on him heavily, especially when he had felt you measuring his ring finger while you believed him to be dead asleep.

He was nearly ready to cut things off with Elain, her attitude as of late was bitter and angry, and while he avoided bringing you up around her, every time he did she said something condescending about you. The only problem was their history with each other, so many years that they had been together, and realized that he would be throwing it away, there was no way that Elain would ever be fine only being his friend, and seeing you near her family. He honestly wouldn’t be surprised if Elain attempted to take your life, her hatred of you ran that deeply.

He’d realized things were getting to dangerous territory when you had come back to your house, gushing to Azriel about how you and Elain might be becoming friends, and how you could see why Azriel liked her so much, she’s just so nice.

It was the day before his birthday now, and he had just returned to your home when you burst through the doors, bags filling your arms.

“Azriel!” You exclaimed, quickly walking over to the counter to deposit the bags, then made your way to your mate. You leaned up, capturing his lips in a tender kiss. “Listen, I know this will sound a little weird, but I’d like you to stay at your spare room in the townhouse tonight, if you’re willing. I want to set up a little surprise for you here,” you tell him, a smile gracing your face, and a matching expression lit up his face. “I’ll come get you in the morning, around 9 if that sounds reasonable to you?”

“Of course, babydoll,” he replied, claiming your mouth again in kiss more heated than the last. “Do I have to leave at this very moment?”

You hummed, your body relaxing against him as he kissed down your neck. “No, not yet, mate. You can stick around for a while.”

“Hmm, so I can take my sweet, thoughtful mate into our bedroom and devour her like the goddess she is?” He asked, already lifting you by your ass, and you instinctively wrapped your legs around his hips.

“I’d love that, Az,” you say, peppering kisses along his jawline as he carried you to the bed.

He left a few hours later, walking back to the townhouse at a slow pace, reminiscing on the feeling of your skin and soft sighs, how much he was looking forward to whatever you’re planning for tomorrow.

He entered the townhouse a few minutes later, breezing into his room that he shares with Elain. She was inside, already naked on the bed and touching herself.

“Oh, Azzie, I’m so glad you could make it,” she said, pouncing towards him the moment the door snicked shut behind him. Once she reached him, though, she wrinkled her nose. “Let’s go get you in the bath, Azzie, I don’t want to kiss you while you smell so gross.” Elain pushed him towards the bath, where they spent a good hour basking in each other’s presence before making their way to the bed. They remained there until dinner, getting a quick meal from the kitchen before returning to the haven.

The night passed quickly, and Elain woke him by sucking his cock to life, the climbing on top of him. She rode him at a slow, torturous pace for a few minutes, before he tired her teasing and flipped her onto her back, continuing their activities, even as the door to their room opened wide, a gasp sounding from the doorway, and Elain’s arms wrapped tighter around his neck, legs wrapping around his hips, pressing his lower half tighter against her.

The scent hit him- autumnal rain and sweet apples- and his blood ran cold. He wanted to run, wanted to explain to you, but the grip of Elain’s heavenly cunt was too much, and he finished inside of her, pulling out as soon as he was able to.

His eyes were wide, he could barely process the situation, he tried to sit up and look at the doorway, but Elain’s grip around his neck was tighter than he expected. She was grinning from ear to ear, looking positively pleased with herself.

“Elain, I need to go talk to her,” he stated frantically, still attempting to pull away from her gently. He could hear her yelling outside, Feyre’s soft voice following it.

“No, you don’t Azriel. She just saw you cheating on her, she’ll want nothing to do with you now,” Elain declared proudly.

Azriel furrowed his brow at her, a sinking feeling in his gut, and he looked at the clock- only 8 in the morning. “Did you know she was going to show up this early?” He questioned, hoping the answer was no. If it was yes…

“Of course, it was my idea to have you stay here last night.” Her voice held no remorse, and Azriel pried her hands from his neck and sat up, moving to the edge of the bed.

He placed his head in his hands, panic overtaking his mind.

His mate… his sweet, kind, caring, attentive mate… had just seen him fucking Elain, her supposed friend. Fuck. This is bad.

He got up, throwing on a pair of leathers as quickly as he could, before Elain’s hand caught his.

“You’re seriously going after her? What the fuck is wrong with you, Azriel?!” She yelled at him, before Feyre’s voice cut through.

“What in the hells is wrong with you, Azriel?! You’re not only cheating on Elain, but Y/N didn’t even know the two of you were together?! How could you do that to your mate?!”

Elain’s anger was one thing, more unsettling than anything else, but Feyre’s? Feyre’s rage was terrifying, and Azriel had the common sense to cower as night coalesced around her.

It was then that he noticed his shadows had left him, and he could still hear them screaming about Y/N from wherever they had ran to.

“Feyre, I know how bad it seems, but I never meant for her to get hurt. And Elain knew about my relationship with her, I wouldn’t have gone ahead with it without her approval,” he said, trying to get the truth out before Feyre eviscerated him.

Elain scoffed, grabbing her nightgown from the floor next to their bed.

Azriel turned to cock a brow at her, daring her to voice whatever was rattling around in her head.

“You should have cut her sorry ass off years ago, Azzie. She’s not worthy of you, she never has been, and she never will be,” Elain spat at him, just as his gut fell through the floor and to the core of the earth.

The bond- the precious, delicate string tying you to him- severed in a single moment.

He dropped to his knees, a wail leaving his body of its own accord, the grief striking him in every nerve ending of his body as your presence left him, as he was left with a gaping hole in his soul that you used to occupy.

“Azriel?” Feyre called frantically, shaking him by the shoulders, but he could do nothing more than to loose gut wrenching cries of pain at the loss of his mate.

Rhys appeared a moment later, diving into his mind with a gentleness he did not deserve.

“Y/N…” he sighed, a tear rolling down his face. “She’s died.”

“Died?!” Feyre exclaimed. “She was just in the garden fifteen minutes ago, how could she have-?” She cut herself off, realizing exactly what happened. “Rhys, get her address from him.”

He did as she said, and she bolted away, leaving Rhys, Elain, and Azriel in the room.

💙🤍💙🩷💙

Feyre

She sprinted through the streets, making her way to the area that Rhys said your house was located in. It was orange, with a stained glass door according to Azriel’s memories.

Feyre still couldn’t believe what he had done, how he had betrayed his mate.

You was awkward at times, yes, and a little shy, but you were so sweet and it was obvious to Feyre how much you cared for Azriel- obviously not the way you cared for him, but the amount was there, always shining through your actions.

Once Feyre arrived at your house, she stopped to stare at it for a moment. The light orange and pretty stained glass window suited you, calming in nature and gave off a similar presence’s to the autumnal scent you gave off. She prepared herself as she approached the door, taking a few deep breaths before turning the knob.

Feyre still wasn’t prepared for the sight before her.

You were laying in a pool of blood- your blood- and covered in Azriel’s shadows. She rushed forward, and the shadows moved away from your neck, revealing the large gash there. A dagger was in your hands, and Feyre sobbed, pawing at your neck in an attempt to make the bleeding stop somehow, even as she could hear no heartbeat, no breathing coming from your chest.

The wound was hardly seeping anything as it was, but Feyre couldn’t believe it. You didn’t deserve this, you didn’t deserve to leave so alone, so in pain.

Her tears fell on your body, and after a few moments she pulled your head into her lap, and recited the prayer she had learned all that time ago, back in Spring.

“Mother hold you. May you pass through the gates. May you smell that immortal land of milk and honey,” she finished. She whispered a final, added phrase. “May your next life be kinder to you, Y/N.”

Feyre stood, reaching out to Rhys through her mind.

“How is Az?”

Rhys sighed. “He’s not doing well, we haven’t been able to move him or get him to do anything cry cry,” he admitted, worrying in his tone. “How’s… how is Y/N?”

“She’s gone, Rhys. She took her own life,” Feyre cried through the bond. “Can you or Cassian come and help me move her to Madja’s office? We should… we should have her prepared for a funeral as soon as we can.”

“Of course, darling, I’ll send Cassian to help you. I’d like to be with Az in case he needs to be knocked out for his own good.”

Cassian arrived a few agonizing minutes later, and after stumbling into the house, stopped and gasped in horror. “Y/N!” He cried, moving quickly towards where Feyre was stood next to your cooling body.

“I know, Cassian. It’s awful, she didn’t deserve any of this,” Feyre said sadly, wiping the tears from her eyes. “We need to move her, though.”

Cassian nodded and stooped over, collecting your limp body in his arms. The shadows were still gathered around your body, hiding as much of you from view as possible. They shifted just right, though, and Feyre caught sight of the knife belt resting upon your hips, tightened so much that she knew the belt was meant as a gift, having seen the dropped bags outside of Azriel’s door when she went to confront him.

She carefully pulled the belt of off you, noticing that the dagger you had used… matched the ones still secured in the belt.

You had used the gift you most likely intended for Azriel, to end your life. That hurt Feyre’s heart even more.

The two of them walked somberly towards Madja’s office, stares lingering on them and the body covered in shadows and held in Cassian’s arms.

They arrived in a few minutes, and Cassian gently set your body down on a stretcher Madja’s had set up in the back, the shadows still clinging relentlessly to your body, refusing to leave you even in death. Madja’s soft smile greets the both of them when they turn around.

“Rhys told me what happened, he said to prepare the body as soon as possible, is that correct?”

Feyre nodded in agreement, “Yes, just let us know when she is ready for the funeral, please, Madja.

“Of course Feyre. I’ll contact you once it’s done.”

With that, the two left the clinic, heading back toward your home to clean it up as much as they could.

💙🤍💙🩷💙

Azriel

His world was shattered. He watched as your coffin was lowered into the ground only two days after his birthday, the sky bright and sunny, just how you always loved it. But Azriel could barely stand in its rays, so overtaken with grief and rage at himself.

He had found the box among the remains of the presents you dropped at his door when you saw him fucking- he couldn’t even bear to think her name anymore.

The two rings, so perfectly Azriel that it made him sob harder than before.

You had always known exactly how to design something to scream his name, always known what he would prefer to have as a gift.

Azriel had wanted to place the ring made for your fingers on you before you were buried, but he couldn’t bear to sully your… your corpse with his hands.

He also didn’t deserve to have a ring matching one that you wear in your grave, he had betrayed you so thoroughly. So he kept the both of them.

Time passed so slowly now.

It was like the world had stopped moving once you passed, the broken tether to your soul holding him in place, not allowing him to move past the moment of your death.

He left the rings in his nightstand, pulling the box out when the pain became too much to bear. He had purchased your home, finally moving all of his things in, like he should have while you were alive.

Even though your life had ended here, he felt closest to you inside the four walls where your relationship had blossomed, bringing you out of your shy, anxious, and adorable little shell.

Azriel barely left the house anymore, only leaving when his family forced him, or the hunger in his stomach became unbearable enough that he ventured out to your favorite restaurant and ordered your favorite dish, just one more way to get any semblance of closeness to you again.

The first six months since your passing were hell. Absolute hell.

The broken string within him chafed with every breath, only subsiding when he drowned himself in vodka enough that he couldn’t see straight, passing out into an oblivion where you still existed, where his heart still beat your name happily, not in the overwhelming loss that had made it lose its rhythm.

His family had dragged him out tonight into their townhome, insisting that they hadn’t seen him in so long and they needed to get together.

He was feeling an extra pain, today. It was the anniversary of the beginning of your mateship. It would have been the sixth, if you were still here.

So, he strung the two rings on a silver chain, looping it over his head and wearing it over the top of his jacket. With them on, he felt like your presence was with him. One of the few remaining things he owned of you.

Feyre had given him the knife belt a month after your funeral, and he had promptly shoved it into the lowest drawer of the dresser. He knew, he just knew that one of those knives had been the end of you-

But that wasn’t true.

He was the end of you.

Azriel sighed. That train of thought wouldn’t make getting through this night easier. One thing might, however.

He stood up from the couch he was seated on and made his way over to the drink cart, pouring a generous amount of vodka into a crystal glass.

You had commented on the glasses your second dinner here, admiring the way they caught the light.

Tears burned at his eyes, and he downed half of the glass in one gulp, the burn distracting him enough that he didn’t jump when Cassian clapped a hand on Azriel’s shoulder.

“It’s good to see you, brother. Will you be coming to the training ring again soon?” He asked, his tone gentle.

“We’ll see, Cassian,” Azriel answered, the one that he had given Cassian the past four times he had dared to ask the Shadowsinger.

“Okay, hopefully sometime soon. Or we could go out for a meal, just the two of us, hm? Just like the old days when we were stuck here, it could be fun,” Cassian suggested, and Azriel nodded in agreement just to get him to stop asking.

Cassian walked away, and Azriel could see him making a pointed expression at Feyre, probably urging her to come talk to him. He downed the rest of his drink, and poured another of the same amount.

By the time he had sat back down on the couch, Feyre was joining him.

She didn’t say anything, just sat with him as he sipped on his drink, relishing in the burn it carved through him.

They sat like that for a few minutes before Azriel’s left hand crept out, grasping Feyre’s right. The tears that had burned his eyes for six months, six long months of drinking himself to sleep as the tear in his soul grew, consuming him whole, had begun to fall, carving lines into his skin. Feyre’s hand squeezed his, and when he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, she thankfully had her eyes turned away from him, giving him the privacy he needed.

A minute or an hour could have passed before Azriel stood abruptly, making for the front door. He burst through it, tears still streaming down his face as he walked home as quickly as he could, the alcohol doing more to him now that he had lost weight from so many skipped meals. He could hear footsteps behind him, and if he dared enough it bet on anything anymore, he would say it’s Feyre.

She had told him at the funeral how guilty she felt for not realizing that Y/N was a danger to herself, but Azriel had brushed her off, telling her it was no one’s fault but his own.

Azriel knew she still carried it, though.

“I don’t need a minder, Feyre,” he drawled, slowing his pace so she could catch up from where she had been following him at a distance.

“From my eyes, you do Az.”

Her concerned tone made him sigh, the tears flowing even more freely now. He didn’t want to worry anyone, he simply wanted to waste away into nothing.

“I will be fine, Feyre, I promise,” he reassured her once she was at his side, though he didn’t fully believe it himself. “Just go home, go enjoy the dinner everyone has been slaving over for hours, Feyre.”

It was Feyre’s turn to sigh. “Do you promise you’ll eat something tonight?”

Azriel nodded his head.

Another sigh. “I suppose I’ll head back, then. Be safe please, Azriel. We love you. I love you. Remember that, okay?”

Azriel nodding again, swallowing a sob until he couldn’t hear her footsteps anymore. He finally reached your house, opening the beautiful door that you loved so much.

He loved that you’d had it custom made, wanting something to honor your Autumn heritage, so far from home. He closed it, running a hand along its surface.

You had loved everything fiercely, him included, even if he didn’t deserve it in any way.

You had loved your mystery books, your coffee, trying out new blends of tea you had made from herbs you’d grown in your small garden.

Then there were the things about him that you loved. His eyes, his hair. You always loved both of those. His hands… you had never shied away from them, in fact you had pulled them towards you, nuzzling your face into them whenever he was feeling insecure about them. You kissed every inch of them so often, Azriel had begun to love the scars, love the way you were able to make them beautiful.

Now though… he couldn’t think of them as anything but the hands that had sullied you, touching you after touching that other female.

Azriel made his way to the kitchen, pulling out a bottle of vodka and your favorite, sapphire blue mug. He poured the liquid until the mug was nearly overflowing, and knocked back as much of it as he could managed in one go, a few drops trailing down his chin.

He regretted so many things in his life, but the way he had hurt you was the one he wished he could take back, at least trade his life for yours. You deserved to live, with your soft heart and open mind. Not him, with his unfaithfulness and betrayal of the worst degree.

His mate.

His mate!!!

He could hardly believe that six months had passed already, six months since that dreadful day.

Six months since your last kiss.

He could almost picture you now, as he walked into your bedroom. It had been on your bed, you were still naked from the earlier activities the two of you had indulged in. Azriel had just gotten his shirt on, and you made an adorable kissy noise, puckering your lips dramatically to draw him back to you. He hadn’t been able to resist, leaning back down and capturing your lips softly with his, tilting your chin up towards him gently with two fingers. It had been soft, sweet, all that he ever needed for the rest of his life.

But it was the last one. The last one, and he hadn’t even known it at the time.

And it was all. His. Fault.

Azriel sank down onto the bed, taking another large gulp of his drink. It was really kicking in now, he felt almost like he could sleep. Draining the rest of the cup, he placed it on the nightstand and laid down on his side of the bed. If he closed his eyes, he could almost trick himself into thinking you were there, sleeping beside him, almost hear your breathing and heart’s rhythm next to him.

He drifted off while clutching the pair of rings still around his neck, his heart still beating that broken, dying music that still sang your name.

Taglist: @j-pendragonx

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axiina · 4 months

Note

what about aemond x niece reader but aegon has always been in love with her? she is betrothed to aemond and they’ve always had a thing for the other but aegon has been head over heels for her since he can remember 👀

Always the last

Pairing: Aegon Targaryen x niece!reader, Aemond Targaryen x niece!reader

Summary: The firstborn son, always the last. It was like a mockery of the gods. To give him birthright but take away the one he wanted more than anything in the world.

Words: 1k

Themes: angst, no comfort, basically aegon is obsessed with reader, kind of self harm? (too much alcohol to silence pain), addictions

Warnings: delulu fanon aegon, kind of self harm? (too much alcohol to silence pain), addictions, incest (it's targaryens so obviously)

Author's note: I'm back, and I hope for longer. At first, it was supposed to be a more aemond x reader, but I changed my mind, and it ended up as angst from aegon's perspective. I'm sucker for my delulu fanon aegon. if you want more, my asks are open!!

Aegon knew he shouldn't get his hopes up. The life he imagined with his niece by his side was simply not going to happen.

He didn't deserve her. And even if it were otherwise, nothing would come of it. He had already been married to Helaena for years.

It just didn't make sense, and Aegon was well aware of that. So why did it hurt him so much? Why then, when he heard his father's decision about the betrothals of Aemond and his niece, did Aegon feel as if his life had just been put to rest? Why did it hurt so much? The knowledge that it would be Aemond who would be able to watch her sleep blissfully, hug her, kiss her, and spend the rest of his life with her didn't allow him to function.

He is the first-born son, and yet always the last.

So he turned to drinking and whoring. Aegon was never a serious man. He was always more interested in pleasure than any duty and this time was no different either. He didn't want to think anymore.

He didn't want to think about her, so to silence those disturbing thoughts, he would get drunk to the point of unconsciousness, unable to get her out of his head.

He would do anything to forget, to silence the pain and the voice that reminded him that it should have been him all along.

Aegon drank day and night with no desire to stop it. In every spare moment, all he could think about was his niece. The girl whose smile could light up the darkest corner and whose touch made his heart beat faster.

He knew it was wrong. He knew he should forget her. After all, she was his brother's betrothed. But there was nothing he could do about it.

No matter how much he tried to push away thoughts of her, no matter how much he tried to hide his feelings, he couldn't.

He couldn't forget the way her eyes sparkled when she laughed or the way her hair fell around her face like a waterfall. He couldn't forget her scent and the smile that made his heart flutter. He couldn't forget the way her hand felt in his, or the way her fingers traced patterns on his skin. Even if it was years ago when they were children. When life was easier.

He couldn't forget her. He was completely and utterly infatuated.

And it was killing him.

Every time he saw her with his brother, every time he saw them laughing and joking together, it felt like a dagger in his heart. He knew he should be happy for Aemond, but he couldn't. He was too consumed with jealousy, too consumed with the thought that she should be his betrothed and not his brother's.

He knew it was selfish and even unreasonable. But he couldn't help it.

He couldn't bear the thought of her being with someone else. Not when he had wanted her so much for so long. Not when he had spent years admiring her from afar, unable to do anything but dream of what might have been if things had turned out differently.

No amount of alcohol could erase his memories, no amount of pleasure could dull the pain in his heart.

She was always there, on the edges of his mind, tormenting him with her sweetness, beauty and innocence.

The pain in Aegon's heart only grew when he saw them together.

The sight of Aemond's eyes brightening as he looked at her, the way he leaned in to listen closely every time she spoke, the small smile that appeared on his lips when she laughed, all of it made Aegon's insides twist into a knot.

He felt as if a cold, strong hand was squeezing his heart and squeezing it tighter and tighter with each passing moment.

He tried to look away, to divert his attention, but he couldn't. His eyes always returned to them, drawn to their sight like a moth to a flame. He tried to tell himself that he should be happy for Aemond, that he should be happy that his brother had found someone to make him happy, but he couldn't.

He was filled with a burning jealousy from which he could not shake.

He couldn't stand it.

He couldn't look at them together, see the happiness on their faces, the warmth in Aemond's gaze. It was like a thousand needles piercing his heart with every passing second. He wanted to scream, tear them apart, take her away from her brother, and claim her as his own. He wanted to sink his face into her hair and inhale her scent, to wrap his arms around her and never let her go.

But he couldn't.

He couldn't do any of those things. He was trapped, watching from the sidelines as Aemond, his younger brother, his other son, always the more loved one, was now the one who could be with her. The one who could hold her hand, kiss her, and share her life. Aegon could only stare at it, feeling the bitter taste of jealousy on his tongue.

She was like a drug, an addiction he couldn't shake off. Every time he saw her, his heart sped up, his palms sweated, and his throat tightened.

And every time she smiled at Aemond, her eyes shining with affection, his heart broke all over again.

He knew that Aemond deserved someone like her in his life. But he couldn't help it. Jealousy was consuming him. It was destroying him.

Aegon knew he was not the right choice for her. He was too weak, too selfish, too impulsive.

He was a drunkard, a lustful man, one who lacked discipline and self-control. He would disappoint her, hurt her, and ultimately break her heart.

But that didn't stop him from wanting her, from lusting after her like a drug. Every thought of her filled his mind, every memory of her haunted his dreams.

She was like a bright, shining candle in a dark, cold world, and he was drawn to her more and more because he couldn't have her.

He was the firstborn son, the eldest, the one who was supposed to get everything.

And yet he was always the last. Last in his father's eyes, last in his mother's heart and now last in the race to her heart.

It was like a cruel joke, a mockery of the gods, that they had given him the birthright but taken away the one thing he wanted, the one person he wanted more than anything.

#house of the dragon #hotd #hotd fanfic #aegon targaryen x reader #aegon ii targaryen #hotd aegon #aemond fanfiction #aemond targaryen #hotd aemond #aemond x reader #aemond targaryen x reader #send me asks #aegon targaryen #aegon x reader #hotd imagine

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sarawritestories · 7 months

Text

Unwavering Presence Chapter 7

Cassian X Archeron Sister (Reader)

Summary: Rhys and Reader get into an argument that leads to a moment Under the mountain that Y/N would rather forget. And when things don't go as planned at the prison, Y/N must confront her sister after learning just how much Feyre was suffering.

Content Warnings: our FMC being put on a leash (Literally), mentions of abuse potential abuse to children (there is none! just the idea is brought up) , mentions of suicidal ideation, Nightmares, angst

Word Count: 6.5K

Masterlist Chapter 6

Unwavering Masterlist

After finishing the awkward dinner, I made my way to my room and changed out of my dress and put on my silk pajamas sighing at the comfort. Cassian had walked me to my room in silence though his pinky was still entwined in mine and when he dropped me off, he murmured a good night and kissed my hand before heading to bed. His lips against my skin, caused heat to rise in my cheeks and I found myself quickly hiding in my room trying to settle the butterflies in my stomach.

I walked over to my desk and grabbed my journal from my cloak pocket, ever since Cassian bought it, it has been on my person I never leave it. I took a seat and was about ready to write when there was a knock on my door, “Come in.” Rhys walked in.

He leaned against the door, crossing his arms and his ankles leaning against the dark ornate wood. “Did you have to be so hard on her?”

I closed my notebook and let my fingers graze the leather the indents of the ivy engraved in the leather, and finally meeting is eyes, “She’s acting like a child.” She crossed her arms, “She was also extremely rude, and you and your family didn’t deserve that.”

Rhys smirked, and tilted his head, “You know we have been around a long time we can handle ourselves.”

I shrugged and crossed my legs on the bench. “Just because you can doesn’t mean that a friend can’t come to your defense.” I bit my lip, “Even when she feels guilty of her previous behavior to you and is super apologetic.”

Rhys crinkled his nose and made his face so youthful, something I noticed I didn’t see much under the mountain, and I giggled, and confusion fell over the high lord’s features, “What?”

My giggles softened and I gave him a smile, “I enjoy seeing you outside Amarantha.” I could see him physically restrain himself from wincing at her name, but I continued as I stood and made my way to him, “You look so free. Youthful even.”

Rhys smiled, “Well aren’t you sweet,” He opened his arm and I slid into his side as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders pulling me close. “Feyre and I are heading to the prison tomorrow.” I must have had a confused look on my face because he continued, “The prison is where we keep some of the most ancient and vile fae and magical beings. Under a mountain at the edge of Night Court border.”

I meet his violet eyes, “Rhysand, you’re taking her under another mountain.” His lips were a tight line. “What is in there that is so important?”

Rhys remained silent for a moment, “I wouldn’t ask her if I didn’t think the answer, we could find there were important.” Rhys eyes hardened, “The information wouldn’t tip the scales in our favor for the impending war.”

I scooted out of his grasp and his gaze softened. “Why Feyre?”

“The inmate we would be seeing won’t talk to me, but will talk to Feyre Cursebreaker, that I have no doubt about.”

I Internally cringed at the title, tampering that unprecedented jealousy, the title proved she was important in Prythian’s history. Further proved that I was not. Clearing my throat I asked, “She’s okay with it?”

He nodded, “You are an important part of our history too you know?”

I stood up and turned my back to him checking and grumbled, “Get out of my head, High Lord.”

“Your shields are solid, Angel, you wear your heart on your sleeve.” I turned and scowled at him which only caused him to chuckle, putting his hands up in mock surrender. “Feyre may have broken the curse, but no one in that ballroom will easily forget about the human girl who stood in front of those two Fae children and took their punishment for them.”

My heart stopped as the sound of fabric ripping echoed the cavern hall. Amarantha with lethal calm turned to see two small fae girls frozen in place with fear. Their hands clasped together. Terror exploded on their features. Amarantha’s smile was sinister, as she steps down from the dais, “What did you two do?” My gaze drifts to my sister who is on Rhysand’s lap head laying on his shoulder. His arms wrapped around her shoulders as her eyes drift close, probably the effects of the fae wine taking hold of her as Rhysand sipped from his own cup. He had since given up forcing me to drink it after I spit it out on his shoes. Though Feyre doesn’t remember

Turning back to the young girls as Amarantha was waiting for them to answer the two simply trembled in response a puddle was forming under one of them and my heart broke. The longer the two girls remained silent the irater Amarantha became “You two ingrates ruined my dress! You should haven’t been that close to royalty. Clearly your useless parents didn’t teach you respect. So, allow me.”

Her hand raised up and my feet moved before I could think about what I was doing and suddenly I pulled the girls behind me before Amarantha’s hand collided with my cheek. The girls screamed but I turned to them, “It’s okay. Go find your mother. Wipe your tears and hold your head high.” The girls both did and lifted their chin as they briskly walked to their mother, and I turned to the seething fae female before me.

“You had no right-“

I interrupted her my chin high, “They are children. What they did was an accident. If a punishment must be implemented, I will take it in their place.”

Amarantha eyes flared her stare made me shift the sheer red fabric that shifts to orange at the bottom covering very little of my body moved with my fidgeting. Her eyes then moved to find those two girls, she found them cowering in the arms of their mother, “The cauldron has blessed you both. You should be grateful.” She takes a step forward and her finger touches one end of my collar bone and slides to the other side smearing the paint Rhys’ wraiths painted on me. “Y/N Archeron, twin sister of Feyre.” She circles me like predator waiting for the kill. She stands behind me, her nail grazing the fabric on my shoulder, I fought off a shutter as she faced me again, “You’re a pretty little thing, for human filth. Bold too. Interrupting me not only during my punishment but as I was speaking too.” She tsks as the hand that provided false gentleness collided with my cheek once more her nails scraping skin. She gripped my chin and forced me to look at her, “A foolish human girl, who risked her life for two fae children. What a silly thing to do.”

“Children human or otherwise-“

Faster than a blink a piece of Amarantha’s dress was torn from the dress and shoved into my mouth she worked on getting another stripped around my wrist. “I grow tired of you speaking, girl.” She cinches the fabric against my wrist tightly causing me to shriek in pain. She turned me to face her again and she smiled, “Much better. "Now the question is, what to do for your punishment?”

I tested my binds, and she pressed me to your back. “Hmm I think your punishment will be someone else’s reward.” She looked out into the crowd and I allowed myself to look at Rhysand and my sister. The High Lord’s face revealed nothing but there was a prickle in my mind and his voice filtered in my head,

Breathe. I’m sorry Y/N, I cannot help you.

In the hopes he could hear me, those girls didn’t deserve to see the cruelties of this world just yet. Try to keep their innocence.

To my surprised he gave a curt nod before he drank the rest of his wine and Amarantha’s voice bellowed through the hall, “Eris Vanserra, please step forward.”

I looked out for Lucien and saw his face frown as his eldest brother stepped forward. The male was handsome his tan skin and gold eyes were warm but hardened. Amarantha pushed me forward and I whimpered muffled through the gag as she forced me to my knees, and she gripped the back of my head pressing down until my forehead hit the floor. “Stay there, Pet. Until he tells you otherwise, “her slim hands left my body as she spoke to the eldest brother, “You have done exceptional work, and it has not gone unnoticed. There was a long pause, “As a treat, one of the Archeron twins to use however, you please. You can deposit her in her cell in the morning.”

“Thank you, My Queen. Your gift is beyond gracious. I am truly humbled.” My heartrate spiked, and I tried to shift pain racking in my knees.

Breathe. Through your nose. Rhys’ voice instructed and I followed his instruction.

A calloused hand hoisted me up to my feet and I looked up to find Eris smirking at me. “I don’t think the gag is necessary don’t you.” I nodded, “Open, Love.” I opened my mouth, and he removed the fabric from my mouth. I coughed, and he tipped my chin up to face him, and he gave me a cold smile as his toned arm wrapped around my waist, undoing the binds, “I don’t think you need this either. and pulled me close, his breath warm on my ear. The smell of an autumn day filled my nostrils. He whispered low enough that no one could hear, "Y/N Archeron, let’s give them a good performance. Keep your face neutral and do everything I say."

He gripped me tightly, and a gasp escaped my lips as my chest was flushed to his, his lips kissed my ear, “We must make it believable, Love. Say ‘Yes Master’ if you understand.”

“Yes Master.”

He growled in my ear his hand gripped my skin tightly, “Good Girl,” He slapped the bare area of my ass causing me to yelp. He waves his hand and flames circled around my neck, the end of the flame in Eris hands. “Let us do a lap, pet and then we go to bed.” He yanked my leash pulling me closer to him, “Let’s start with thanking the High Lord of the Night Court for dressing you in Autumn Colors.” He looked at me expectantly.

I take in a deep breath, “Yes Master.”

He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, “Good Girl.”

Rhysand snapped his finger in my face. Worry written on his features stars were banked out. “What did he do to you, Angel?”

I feign ignorance, “Who?”

Rhys gave me a knowing look, “You know who. Don’t play dumb.”

I rolled my eyes, “Nothing happened worth talking about.”

Rhys growled anger morphing into his face, “I saw his intentions, If he touch-“

I rubbed my temples and groaned, “Fuck No.” I looked at him anger boiling, “I don’t talk about it because he asked me not to.”

Rhys blinked taken aback, “Why protect him?” he crossed his arms.

I gritted my teeth, “Stop pushing.” I walked over to my door and opened it, “Take care of my sister tomorrow. Good night.”

Rhys sighs as he stood and walked over to me. He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead, “I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m just saying you were just as brave and just as much a victim there as Feyre. Talking about it could be helpful.”

I gave him a hard stare, “I know, Rhys. I appreciate you keeping that door open. I do. You don’t know what happened that night. But trust me when I say that nothing happened that night that I mean it.”

Rhys clenched his fist, “Eris is a monster.”

I bite my lip, “Well, people could and have said the same about you. Yet I trusted you. Good night, Rhysand.” I slammed the door before he could get another word in and locked the door.

I couldn’t sleep that night; I kept tossing and turning. Flashes of Under the Mountain and Amarantha, The wyrm, and those girls, forcing their way into my dreams that I began to sweat. I pulled off my covers and wandered to the family library.

I rubbed my eyes as I walked in and found Cassian sitting in the chair, a glass in his hand staring at the fire. He was wearing black silk lounge pants and a lounge shirt that hugged his taught muscles his wings relaxed but sprawled slightly, his ebony locks up in a bun. I tried to back away before he could catch me, “Couldn’t sleep either, huh?” I sighed as his warm eyes met mine, he patted the chair next to him, “Come on, Princess, talk to me.”

I dragged my feet over there and plopped on a chair, “Rhys and I got into an argument.”

Cassian nodded and handed me a glass. I took it and tried to ignore the feeling in my chest when our fingers touched. “Want to talk about it?”

I took a sip letting the burn of alcohol ease down my throat and looked at the fire. “Something that happened when we were Under the Mountain. I don’t want to go into details. He just assumes one thing happened and when it didn’t.”

His hummed, “Would it be about what happened when you saved those girls?”

I turned my head to him, “You know about that?”

Cassian gave me a warm smile, “Sweetheart, a human girl put her life on the line to save to fae children from getting harmed. Rhys may have told me when he got home, because he had never met anyone, a human no less, defend a child while being under there. But when the curse was lifted, everyone brought up about your bravery.”

I bit my lip, “It was an accident they didn’t deserve whatever cruel punishment Amarantha was going to endure. Anyone would have done that.”

Calloused fingers moved my face to meet his eyes slight ire there, “No, Princess, they wouldn’t. They should but they wouldn’t. Especially if that meant you were Eris’ pet for the evening.”

I groaned pulling away from his touch and taking my drink, slamming the rest of the contents in my mouth. “Not you too.”

“He’s dangerous from what Rhys said he had you in a collar on a leash.”

I gritted my teeth, “Drop it, Cassian.”

He sighed, “It wouldn’t be the first time he did something heinous, have you talked to Mor about this?”

“No and I wasn’t planning on it.”

“You should than you would understand Rhys’ concern-“

I stood up, slamming the glass on the table, “He took me to his room, gave me his jacket to wear, and let me sleep on his bed while he slept in the chair. Is that what you want to hear? Because that’s what fucking happened, Cassian. He didn’t hurt me; he didn’t touch me past having a hand on my back. He let me have a good night’s rest. That’s. it.”

Cassian blinked, “The collar. The leash made of fire; Rhys said you had burns.”

“Amarantha had expectations, we met them.” I crossed my arms. “I’m not saying he’s perfect or not a piece of shit. I’m saying that on that evening specifically, he didn’t do a damn thing to me.”

Cassian’s brow furrowed and his lips formed a tight line, contemplating. “Fine, so he didn’t hurt you or force you to do anything why not tell Rhys that?”

“Because Eris asked me not to tell anyone what happened that night and I wanted to honor that not because I wanted to protect him but because I owed him. And given the look you’re giving me. I don’t think he would believe me either.” I bowed my head, “Goodnight, General.”

I turned only for a hand to circle my wrist, “I believe you, Princess.” I faced him, he rose from is seat and his face held no trace of humor, his form towering over me. “I believe you, and he would to, but I know there is more you’re not telling me.”

“I am.” I didn’t bother hiding it. “But anything past what I already told you is not my story to tell. I hope you can respect that I won’t share it.”

Cassian nodded, “I understand.”

I took my free hand into his, “Why are you awake?”

Cassian sat back down and smirked, “What keeps anyone from sleeping, Princess?”

I blinked surprised by the question I asked when we first met, “Nightmares...”

I released his hand and noticed he flexed his fingers like he yearned for my touch as I sat on the chair across from him. “Yeah, I don’t get them often, but when I do, they’re…realistic enough to keep me awake.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked, his face looked haunted.

“No.” He gave me a small smile, “But thank you for the offer, you should try to go to sleep.”

“You should as well.”

“I’m going to have a hard time falling asleep.” He retorted.

“Me too.”

He chuckled and I stood and held out my hand. “Come on, General.”

Cassian placed his hand in mine and tugged indicating I wanted him up, he stood, his wings rustling. I led him over to the couch and sat patting my lap. “Sweetheart, I would squish you if I sat on your lap.”

“Is it a requirement that to be in this court you have to be a smart ass? I want you to lay your head on my lap, Darling.” His stunned look told me no one has ever given him a pet name before, but he slowly sits and adjusts his wings in a position that is comfortable but won’t hurt me and finally he lays his head down on my lap. His eyes look up to mine and I smile as I pull the tie that is keeping his hair bound.

“What are you doing?”

I smiled, as thoughts from the week before coming to my mind, “I know when I’m not going to win a battle, General.” I wink at him, “I’m compromising.” His eyes twinkle in recognition of my words. He turns his head as I begin running my fingers through his hair he sighs in contentment. “Close your eyes, Cassian.” I watched his lids flutter shut and his breathing deepening as I kept weaving my fingers through his hair and I started to hum a lullaby and in seconds the General was asleep on my lap, and I leaned my head back as the smell of him calmed me and my eyes grew heavy and with my hand through his hair. I drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

Cassian’s POV

I woke up to the sun illuminating behind my eye lids. Though I realized I’m not in my room but the library. The memory of the night before came back to me. I shifted to find Y/N sleeping, her head leaning against the bookshelf. I gently sat up careful not to disturb her, but she stirred as I moved into a seated position. Her eyes lit up by the morning sky coming in from the window. Even as she woke, she was radiant like a gift from the mother herself. “Good morning, did you sleep well?” She mumbled as she tried to blink away the sleepiness from her eyes.

I smiled, “Yeah, Princess, did you? I’m sorry you fell asleep sitting up.”

She waved me off as she took the hair bind, I used to tie my hair and placed her hair in a bun few strands framing her face. Beautiful. “I have had to sleep in worse conditions than this. I just wanted to make sure you got sleep.” Another yawn from her. I stood up and stretched my sore wings.

I grinned at her, and she gave me a lazy smile back, “Thank you, Princess,” I held out my hand to her, “Let’s get you some breakfast,” she slipped her hand in mine, and it was dwarfed in mine and had tiny callouses from hunting, fighting, and training. I help her up and I go to release her hand, but she keeps a hold of mine as we exit the library and head toward the dining room. “Sweetheart, don’t you want to get dressed?”

“No, I want to eat.” She paused and looked at our hands and let go missing her warmth in my palm in an instant, “I’m sorry if you want to-“

I held my hand up, “Not at all, lead the way, Archeron.”

There was a glint in her eyes and her smile was mischievous, “Last one to the dining room has to do 50 pushups at training today.” Before I can respond to her challenge she bolts. I chuckled and waited about a minute before I chased after her. It only took me a couple of strides to catch up with her and past her, “No!” She huffed as I reached the double doors, opening for me and skidded to a halt barely winded as Y/N got there and placed her hands on her knees trying to catch her breath. “Stupid fae speed.”

I laughed and ruffled her hair, and she swatted at me, “Maybe next time I will let you win. However, you owe me 50 pushups.” She groaned, and I placed a hand on her back and led her to the chair where food appeared on her chair. Only then acknowledging the short black haired fae who quirked her brow. “Morning, Tiny one.” Amren glared at me, and I grinned, “She challenged me to a race and lost.” I explained.

Amren snorted sipping her goblet, “Girl, if you are going to survive here, you have to pick and choose your battles properly.”

Y/N stabbed my eggs, “I thought I had a chance.”

Before I could counter Rhys and Feyre winnowed in, Feyre stormed out of the dining room ignoring everyone including her sister. I could see the pain in Y/N’s face as she looked over to my brother. “We need to talk, Y/N.” His face was stony, and I could see the light dim in Y/N’s eyes as she shrunk in her seat.

Rhysand walked over to her and held out his arm. Y/N pushed the plate away, not being able to get a bite and making a note to make sure she ate before we trained. She stood and walked past him ignoring his arm and heading out into the hall.

Rhysand.

My brother paused as I sent my thoughts to his mind. What?

Apologize to her, she told me what happened with Eris. He let her sleep and get a good’s night sleep. That’s it.

You believe her?

I growled at him, Yes. As should you. She has never given you a reason not to believe her.

Rhys gave a nod still not facing me as he walked from the room. Before leaving completely he whispered in my mind She might need you in a few minutes.

I looked to Amren to find her looking at me with her scrutinizing gaze. “What?”

“What’s gotten into you?” she asked her as she took another sip of her goblet.

“Nothing.”

“Liar.” She looked at the door that Rhys and Y/N walked through, “She’s a force even for a mere human. Willing to stand up to her own blood for Fae she doesn’t know well.”

I smiled, “She’s got a warrior’s heart. Someone just needs to remind her that she doesn’t need to take care of everyone else, that she should take care of herself.”

“Hmm someone like the General of the Night Court’s armies?” Amren questioned her red lips quirked up a bit.

I took a bite of my food, ignoring her inquiry, “Mind your business.”

Reader POV

Rhys walked out of the dining room after having a conversation with Cassian and Amren. My mood had quickly shifted with Feyre looking upset and the hard look Rhys gave me after our argument last night. “Follow me.” He led us up to his study, I shut the door behind me and leaned against the door as he sat in the chair behind his desk.

The room had various paintings of maps of not only Prythian but constellations of the night sky, and on a desk flushed against the wall was a model with all the planets. “Please make yourself comfortable.” His voice was formal not teasing like he was the day before. I didn’t move, He looked up and my feelings of his behavior changed must have been apparent on my face as Rhys sighed and rubbed his face with his hand. “I owe you an apology.” I bit my lip and looked at my feet. “I should have dropped the Eris subject last night when you asked.”

I looked at him a steeliness in my tone, “Yes you should have.” He flinched, I walked toward him and sat across from him holding out my hand. “Let me show you.”

Rhys shook his head, “Y/N you don-“

“Rhys just shut up and do it.” He nodded and took my hand and I let him into my mind and showed him Eris giving me his tunic, him tucking me into bed, and him sitting on the chair, eyes watching me as I fell asleep. I broke off the connection. “I wouldn’t lie, Rhys.”

Rhys nodded, “I know, which is why I want to apologize.” He walked around the desk and knelt in front of me. “I’m sorry for pushing. I’m sorry for not believing you. I will spend so many days being sorry so long as you stop looking at me like I am stranger and just your High Lord and not your friend.”

I gave him a smile and I wrapped my arms around him, “All is forgiven, unless you did something to make Feyre so upset. Then I’m kicking your ass.”

He laughed, but his face grew solemn, “Y/N, she needs you.” My forehead creased, “She never went into the prison today she got scared, that wasn’t her fault, but Y/N, I need you to understand just how not well she’s doing.”

I meet his violet eyes his stars gone, “Show me.”

Rhys gripped the back of my neck and pressed his forehead to mind as I let him in and flashes of her throwing up the night before from the nightmares Her screams echoing the halls, Rhys comforting her. He flashes me to the week I hid myself after she accused me of abandoning her and she tells Rhys how nice it would feel to die, and I felt my chest tighten. Rhysand immediately talking her out of that headspace. Her gaunt haunted face through Rhysand’s eyes.

His claws released my mind, but Rhys held me close as tears and panic rose through me. “Y/N, it’s not your fault.”

“She wants to die. How did I not feel that? How did I miss it? I’m a terrible sister.” My voice barely above a whisper as the images whirl around my brain a never ending loop of Feyre’s pain.

Rhys grips my neck tightly, “Stop it.” I met his gaze as he pulls his face away from mine, “Stop beating yourself up. You didn’t know.”

“BUT I SHOULD HAVE!” I erupted causing Rhys to jump back, “I was so mad! I couldn’t even look at her only to find out she has been hating herself.” I stood and began to pace, “I promised my mom that I would take care of her. But I let her go out into the forest only going out with her scarcely, I let Tamlin sink his teeth into her with his sweet words, and soft touches. I let her think I abandoned her.”

“Y/N, sweetheart, please calm down.” Rhys tried to grab my shoulder and I shook him off.

My breathing became short and erratic, “What if she would have taken her life when Tamlin kicked me out of his court. What if she did it and I never apologized.” I rubbed my hand on my chest, “It would have been my fault. Oh gods.” Breathing became difficult and my hearing muffled I didn’t even notice the door open. Strong arms wrapped around me and flushed up against a strong toned chest the smell of leather and sandalwood surrounded me. I leaned my head back as tears flowed freely.

“Come on, Sweetheart,” Cassian whispered in my ear, he pressed his lips to the top of my ear. He led me to the couch to sit and he lightly bended my head in between my knees. “Inhale,” he commanded his voice not that of a general, but I couldn’t place the gentle yet firm tone in it, and I take a breath, “hold it,” I did for a moment, “Exhale slowly,” He exhaled with me his hand rubbing circles around my back. “That’s my girl, again,” He guided me through some deep breaths, and I began to calm down. I slowly sat up and I met his Hazel eyes his hand continued to rub my back, “Hi.”

“Hi.” I whispered.

“You okay?” I nodded and gripped my chin, “I need you to say it, baby.”

“I’m okay.” I murmured, I leaned my head on his shoulder, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Y/N. We’re not training today.” I tried to protest but before I could open my mouth he said, “Don’t fight with me. You need to take it easy, and by the sounds of it you need to have a talk with your sister.”

I lifted my head, “Okay.” I looked at Rhys, “I’m sor-“

Rhys growled, “Do not apologize for letting your feelings out.” He kissed the top of my head, “You’re scared for your sister and want to take her pain away. I understand. I had a feeling this might happen due to how much you love her. But don’t apologize for feeling these feelings, okay?”

I sniffled, Cassian’s hand grounding me, “Even if I was a contributing factor to her pain.”

“She doesn’t see it that way. When we were outside the prison, she wished you were there. That doesn’t sound like someone who is contributing to her pain.” Rhys said. “Stay here for as long as you need.” Rhys walked away and shut the door the soft clicking felt loud against my ears.

“You don’t need to stay here, Cass,” I said as I straightened my back.

He laughed, “I’m not going anywhere, unless you ask me to. Would you like me to leave?” I bit my lip debating being honest and eventually I just shook my head. “Then I stay.” And we sat like that for a few hours with him rubbing soothingly on my back as my forehead leaned against his shoulder.

When I was finally calm, I parted ways with Cassian, kissing him on the cheek in thanks for once again taking care of me. I could have sworn I saw him blush as he turned and left for his room, but he was gone before I could assess further.

***

Then I changed and found myself outside Feyre’s door, my hand hovering over the wooden panel to knock. Before I could I just hear her go, “Come in, Y/N,”

I opened her door to find scribbling on parchment. I walked in closer and noticed she wasn’t scribbling, she was drawing. Which means she was itching to paint again. She smiled, “I could hear your heartbeat skyrocket in front of my door.

I swallowed the lump down my throat as she put her sketch to the side and faced me.

“I’m sorry.” We both said at the same time we both blinked at each other before we began to laugh.

She got up and pulled me in a bone crushing hug that I returned. “I shouldn’t have blamed you for leaving. I know you wouldn’t have gone willingly. I was just so relieved, hurt and scared that when I saw you I just.”

“Let your inner Nesta out and said things you knew would hurt.” She nodded as she sat back on the bed dragging me with her. “I get it Fey, and I need to apologize to you for my outburst yesterday. I may have been out of line.”

Feyre shook her head, “You weren’t. I was being unfair to them. I meant what I said though.” I frowned, “You seem happier here. Less on edge.”

I nodded my head in agreement, “I am happy.” I smiled and squeezed her hand, “You could be happy here too. They are good Fae either way they are kind, and generous and I think we could fit right in. If you’re open.”

She gave me a small tentative smile, “I can see myself getting to place here. Rhys is not what I expected. He is kind, patient, and sweet.”

I smirked and looked at my nail, “Handsome, charming, alluring,” Feyre shoved me playfully, as I felt what must have been the equivalent to laughter down our bond.

“I mean he is all those things too, but I should have listened to you when you told me to give him a chance.”

“Yeah, probably, but we can’t change the past. We can only move forward, and maybe that starts with us being able to talk again.” I extended the olive branch.

“I would love nothing more, Y/N. I know I have pushed you away, but I have been feeling so lonely and isolated. I want you around.” She looked down at her hands, “I need you around.”

I grabbed her hands and gave them a squeeze, “I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. Until my heart stops beating. You’re my sister. I will always be there for you.”

Tears welled up in her eyes and she gripped me in a hug as she sobbed in my shoulder, “I wanted to die.”

I didn’t realize my own tears were falling as I gripped her tightly back, “I know.”

“I don’t how to heal from this.” She whispered.

“We’ll figure it out, together.” I retorted.

“You swear?”

“I swear.” We both hissed as light flashed between us and designs of swirls and two hearts intertwining revealed itself on Feyre’s collarbone, her eyes widened when I moved my tunic shirt to see the same design. “Well, I guess you and I have a bargain, Fey.”

I pulled her back into me for another hug, and we stayed like that for a while, nothing but the crackling of the fire. Staring at the fire my brain led me to that night with Eris.

Eris paraded me around the ballroom keeping me on a short leash as his hand sprawled on my back. He reached the Dais where Amarantha and Tamlin stood, his eyes flicked to me and I could have sworn there was a flicker of a smirk was on his face but it was gone as quickly as it was there. “My queen, I would like to retire with my pet at your approval of course.”

Amarantha should me a glare and I just bow my head avoiding her gaze, “Yes get her out of my sight. Enjoy your reward.”

With a tug of the leash, he walked me out and I had chance to glance at Rhysand who was holding on to a dancing drunken Feyre. When we walked down the hall past the sentries Eris removes the leash and collar of flame and holds out his hand. I hesitated to take it and Eris clicked his tongue, “You attempt to flee, my little ember, and I will make sure you are bound to the point of uselessness.”

My hand finds his and finds they are surprisingly warm. He leads me to his chamber and finds that despite it being in the mountain it looks like it could be a room in a castle. Eris walks in and begins to unbutton his jacket and I tense, fear of what he has planned, He looked at me clearly sensing my fear. Not easing my fears, Eris shook off the jacket and walked over holding it out expecting me to put my arms through. Confusion fell upon me as I slowly moved and slid my arms in the jacket. He pulled me close causing me to gasped and he chuckled in response as he buttoned up the jacket, “There better?”

I nodded, the Autumn Court Prince gripped my arms and led me to the large bed on the side of the room near the fireplace, “Sleep.” He ordered and I crossed my arms. He looked at me expectantly and rolled his eyes and with a wave of his hand my dress was gone and so was the paint. My body was cleaned, the only thing keeping me covered was his jacket.

I bit my lip and I sighed, “That’s all you want me to do sleep?” I regretted asking the question.

His eyes flashed with rage, “What? Expect me to want to ravish you. To hear you cry and beg me to stop when I force myself upon you?” I flinched and looked at the ground. “I like my women consenting and moaning in pleasure not whimpering in fear. Only low bottom feeders get off on such a cruel act. My father being one of them.” He stilled and my head shot up at the admission he gave.

“Does he do that with your mother?” I asked clearly not worried about my well being.

“I would NEVER let him do something so heinous to her.” He snarled and I held my hands up in surrender.

“I meant no ill will toward the question.” He relaxed his shoulders, “You don’t like your father?”

He smiled and the expression was cold and cruel, “Do you like yours Y/N Archeron?”

I crossed my arms and looked away from his eyes. “No, I don’t” I answered.

If Eris was shocked by my honesty he didn’t let on. “Then it looks like you and I have something in common,” He had gotten close to me enough his body was radiating heat and gripped my chin, “Now go to sleep, My Little Ember.”

“What’s in it for you? For holding me here as your pet for the night?” I asked.

He sighed and looked up at the ceiling, “You’re a mortal. I should hate you. But I’m vowing you to secrecy, you will not tell a soul, do you understand?”

I nodded my head, “Yes.” He quirked a brow waiting, and I rolled my eyes, “Yes, Master.”

He smiled and kissed my head and I grumbled at the gesture. “Good,” he said, and he leaned in and whispered in my ear and my eyes went wide. He pulled away and patted my cheek, “Now go to sleep pet,” He sat at the chair and opened a book.

I moved to the bed and found sleep the moment my head hit the pillow. It was reckless to sleep with someone as dangerous as Eris near me, but I couldn’t fight the comfort of the bed, the warmth of the fire and exhaustion in my bones. My thoughts swirling of Eris’s plan to become High Lord of Autumn Court.

Chapter 8

Story Tags: @hellodarling1357 @hnyclover @waytoomanyteenagefeels @amara-moonlight @impossibelle @esposadomd @sleepylunarwolf @stressed-reader @kylaisra @marvelouslovely-barnes @magicstrengthandcourage @spideytingley @awkardnerd @donttellthecats @tastydewdrops @vermillionwinter @asweetblueberry2 @bunnyredgirl @homeslices @azriels-mate2 @oksloan3 @wallacewillow0773638 @fandom-crashlanding @writingstreetspirit @hannzoaks @minnieloo @tuggboatfishin @judig92 @atrxidxs @dustyinkpages @secretlyhers @mxblobby @blogforficslol @historygeekqueen @turtleshavesoulmates @scooobies @anuttellaa @earth-to-lottie @slytherintaco @fxckmiup @tinystarfishgalaxy @cheesebookgirl @oucereeng @st0rmyt @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @misslunatic1655

#cassian x reader #cassian acotar #acotar #cassian x you #acotar fanfiction #cassian #cassian fanfic #cassian fluff

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jacespookiebear · 2 years

Text

.ೃ࿐ 𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙗𝙚𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙪𝙡: 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 1

summary : you are the youngest daughter of Viserys I Targaryen and Aemma Arryn. Outlived your mother and your older twin brother, Baelon, in childbirth. You were titled as (Y/n) “The Undying” Targaryen.

pairing : jacaerys velaryon x targaryen!reader

warnings : incest, sexual content, tension, age gap (reader is about 3-4 years older), jace is about a year older in this fic, misogyny, self-harm, violence, angst, teen pregnancy, birth, events do take place in hotd, meraxes is alive and thriving with vhagar :D

Masterlist

The dreary atmosphere in the chambers that were occupied by Queen Aemma’s birthing was soon vanished and was replaced by sudden cries that did not belong to the Prince Baelon but a Princess.

“Your grace, it appears she had carried another babe. It is a girl,” the maester carefully wrapped the babe in a cloth before bringing her to King Viserys, “a very healthy one, in fact, what will she be named?” Viserys couldn’t believe his eyes as the babe kept wailing for her mother but in an instant, he held the babe with much affection and love while he cried.

On that day, the realm has lost their Queen and Prince but has gained another Princess, named (Y/n) “The Undying” Targaryen.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Gently pressing your hands onto the old dragon, Meraxes, who you bonded with for years now. You began caressing her white scales as she leans into your touch—wanting to keep being the eye of your attention before you pulled away and started heading your way back to the castle in your personal carriage

“Meraxes seems to be growing even more each year, my Princess. Might be even larger than the Black Dread soon enough.” Lysanna, your Lady-in-Waiting, nervously utter as you laughed. You have been forcing her to feed Meraxes for weeks now—you never seen the young girl sweat so much while handing your dragon food.

You handed your gloves to Lysanna for safekeeping and she pocketed them in her coat. You both reached inside the castle. You had wanted to check up on your sister as she was to be expected in labor soon but first you headed to your father’s chambers to see how well he’s doing.

You opened the doors with Lysanna by your side, “Ah! My young girl…what brings you here, my sweet child?” your father, Viserys, lights up to see his daughter visiting.

Like always, he’s sitting by the windows and sculpting. The architecture has increased in size each year ever since you were just a babe. He would always lecture about his creation with you on his lap. Till this day, it still amazes you that he created this.

“I do not need a reason to see my father. I was on my way back from the dragon keep,” you sat in front of him, raising your hands to grab his in order to place a kiss on it, “Meraxes also wishes good fortune. She even cried out for my attentiveness today.”

To your words of Meraxes, Lysanna slightly giggles.

“Of course,” he brings his attention back to his sculpting, “you remind that dragon of Rhaenys Targaryen, the wife of Aegon the Conqueror. Whether you like to believe it or not.”

It is true. You have been often compared to the late Queen Rhaenys Targaryen, you both shared similarities. Perhaps that is the main reason why Meraxes chose you to be her new dragon rider.

“Have you considered the Queen’s offer?”

You turned your head back to your father—who looked rather serious. You could only gulp and rub your hands anxiously, “about…the betrothal to Aegon..? I can’t say I had put much thought to it.”

The atmosphere in the room changed quickly, you felt. You didn’t want to spend your precious time with your father talking about betrothals. You wished to be free from marriage and children as much as you can.

“The Princess is right, my King,” Lysanna spoke up, there was no evidence of nervousness in her voice, “she has been under much stress due to Princess Rhaenyra’s upcoming labors..”

The thought of marrying your young brother scared you tremendously, knowing how he treats the handmaidens—including you, Helaena, and even Lysanna. You did not wish to be betrothed just yet, especially to a man like your brother.

You cleared your throat and sighed, “If you do not wish to be betrothed, my sweet girl then I understand,” your father promises as you looked up with eyes that were prickled with small tears, “I will give you all the time in the world.”

“Thank you, my King.”

Although there was a slight crack in your tone, you certainly appreciated your father’s patience and understanding. You seemed to feel guilt for wanting to put off opportunity of marriage for as long as you can but you are certain you won’t have much time before you are forced to be betrothed.

With your thoughts disappearing, Viserys only looked at you with a soft smile and placed a kiss on your cheek. You got up from your seat and headed out with Lysanna.

After leaving his chambers, you walked all over the castle to find Rhaenyra’s chambers, you pass by lords and ladies who would bow out of curtesy. It was clear they all know you had just visited the King. As you place your hand over Lysanna’s in an affectionate way,

“Thank you for stepping in. I could not last another second talking about marriage, especially with father.”

Lysanna looked over to you—she was obviously feeling upset for you. She had voiced her concerns many times about how she did not want you to be married off to Aegon. No—you deserve better than that.

“If I could, I would do anything for you to not be wedded off to that boy,” she said with ease, paying no mind to the people around you both, “I would rather have you be betrothed to my brother just so we could be sisters and both be ladies of Winterfell.”

At the thought of living out the rest of your days in Winterfell, you could only laugh. Maybe your life would’ve been more easier and happier if you were to be living in the North. Lysanna had told you many stories about Winterfell, it only left you wanting to visit the cold Castle even more. It even meant you could always be with Lysanna and see the snow everyday—you always wanted to see the snow.

As the doors that belonged to Rhaenyra’s chambers opened, you were attacked by the limbs of the young princes and their clinginess towards you and Lysanna. They quickly wrapped themselves around you both.

“Auntie! Have you just came back from riding Meraxes?! I saw you both flying in the sky! I was waving too,” Luke exclaimed. With swiftness, he was already up in Lysanna’s arms. You and Lysanna only giggled at the young boy and his eagerness.

You gave his forehead a big kiss before walking over to the couches that were placed in the middle of the room to sit. “Indeed, my dear nephew. I even had Lysanna to feed Meraxes today,” Luke gasped at the statement, had he only been begging to touch the Silver Queen for weeks now. He feels betrayed that you let Lysanna feed him. “do not fret. You can mount her…if your mother only agrees.”

As you hear him whine at the agreement—knowing Rhaenyra would never let him or Jace near Meraxes until they were at least twenty, you see Jace only sit right next to you and place his head on your shoulders.

“Mother is starting her labors. She had just left and even wished to see you before you left the castle,” Jace muttered, though you could see how scared he is for his mother. Placing a short kiss on his head, “I shall stay and company you and your brother until she has come back.” You said as he smiles at your efforts.

Watching Lysanna and Luke play on the floor—both very indulged in the wooden figures that are scattered, you could hear your nephew shouting battle cries as Lysanna merely plays along. But still, you worry for your sister—you wished you came sooner and possibly be there for her during her labors.

Jace suddenly spoke up and forced your attention back onto him, “Aegon had said..that you were to be betrothed to him. Is it true, Princess?”

With the young boy’s confused look, you could only sit in silence and grimace at the fact that your brother had the audacity to spread such gossip to your innocent nephews. Your thoughts were soon to be interrupted by the Prince,

“Please don’t marry him!” he cried out, it brought Lysanna and Luke’s attention, wondering why is Jace getting so emotional. “He said that if you do then I won’t be able to see you again, you will be locked up in your shared chambers and occupied being swollen with children.”

How dare Aegon say such inappropriate things to him!? You would never let yourself be treated with such disrespect, especially by your own family.

Jace continues to plead, you quickly hold him in your arms as a way to calm him down. “What did I say about never believing a word Aegon says?” you smiled down at the boy, you had to put up a front in order to not let him see how hurt you were from those words. “He is only jesting and I promise you, I will not leave you. If he says another word about this then ignore it and don’t let him tease you, alright?”

As the boy nods his head, he spoke up once more, “If I could, I would ask to be betrothed to you, Targaryens do marry each other and that would mean I could be your sworn protector.” the words settled in and all you could do was smile and mess with his curls. You didn’t expect him to answer back but it left you feeling rather troubled.

After awhile of waiting, you felt yourself drift off on the couch but was quick awaken from the sound of the chamber doors opening—expecting it to be your sister but it was only the Commander of City Watch, you gave Ser Harwin a smile when he walked in.

“Princess,” he bowed his head before the boys made their to greet him. You nodded your head and out of respect, you fixed your position on the couch.

“Oh! How could we forget?!” Luke exclaimed before making his way to the counter that held a huge black pot, “Auntie! Ser Harwin had taken us to the dragonpit while you were away, we had collected an egg for the baby! Come Liz, you must see too!”

You wanted to see the color of the egg so badly so you quickly made your way towards the kids with Lysanna, watching Jace lift up the lid and it revealed the egg—it was certainly gorgeous, the whole egg was a dark colored that reminded you of the Black Dread’s scales. The egg must’ve been from one of the several clutches of eggs that Meraxes had laid during this month, she has been laying as much eggs as she can but it only made your father happier than ever.

In awe, you still kept your focus on the egg before Lysanna had nudged your shoulder. “Be careful, my Princess. You will burn yourself if you are too close.”

“We thought of a few names for the dragon! But of course that is up to the baby to decide.”

“Very well. Make sure the egg is placed in the cradle soon,” you voiced out and let Jace put the lid back on before watching them lead the commander onto the floor to play with the toys. They seemed to become even more happier now that Harwin Strong has come back but if they were happy then so are you. He acted more like a father to them and you weren’t the only one to have noticed, almost everyone in court seems to think so—especially the Queen. Unlike the other lords and ladies from court, you do not bother in such gossips about their parentage. They are still Targaryen, that is what matters.

“And, he sees a big scary dragon!” Jace exclaimed, playing with the toys, and you smiled at how invested he was in the game. The door suddenly opened and it revealed to be your older sister. Ser Harwin stood up as your sister and her husband walked in. You watched Jace and Luke quickly run to show mother the dragon egg. Rhaenyra’s hair was damp with sweat and messy, she looks completely worn out.

“Dear sister, I hope the labors went well. Let your mother rest, children.”

“Thank you, young sister. I must admit, it was rather more discomforting than the last.” She smiles, leaning into your touch and you can feel the sweat that was painted on her skin. It felt good to be by her side once again, even if it’s been a few hours that you both were separated.

“Mother..look,” Jace said as she moved to find a seat. Rhaenyra glanced at the dragon egg as she carefully sat down with Ser Harwin’s help. The Commander of the City’s Watch was always so kind to all of you. “We chose an egg for the baby.” Luke finished for Jace. In Laenor’s arms was the new child to your sister’s family. The thought of her having a big family warmed your heart—you felt the possibility that you were experiencing baby fever.

“Ahh…that looks like the perfect one.”

“It’s not everyday a dragon egg leaves the dragon pit, my Princess. I thought it was best to escort the lads.” Ser Harwin explained. Rhaenyra nodded, reassured that there was someone to watch over them, “Laenor and I thank you, Commander.” Jace closed the pot and you focused your eyes back on the newborn child.

“Another boy, I heard.” Ser Harwin softly said, and you watched as Rhaenyra smiled, confirming. As Laenor was coddling the babe, whispering sweet things. You heard him clearly, “You will make a fine knight,” he had said. The thought of the three boys becoming knights once they were more older was a fine one for sure.

“Do not worry, sister. You will soon have a girl, I’m sure of it.” Rhaenyra laughed at your comment, giving your hand a quick squeeze. She had always wanted a daughter and you knew this.

“Might I?” Ser Harwin asked, kindly.

With silence disappearing quickly, Rhaenyra uttered, ”Ser Harwin wishes to be introduced to Joffrey.”

The Velaryon didn’t argue. He simply gave the babe to Ser Harwin before he started to rock the babe gently. “Joffrey, is it?” he asked, Laenor nodded. The name left you a little baffled, it was an unusual name for a Velaryon nor Targaryen but you did not want to voice your opinion.

Rhaenyra cleared her throat and laid her eyes on Lysanna, “Lady Lysanna, I apologize on behalf of the rejection to your wish on riding back home to the North,” from what you heard, your lady-in-waiting had asked to attend back home once again to celebrate with her brother who become the next Warden of the North, “I am sure the Queen has her reasons but I will make sure to speak of it with council on the morrow.”

Lysanna gave your sister a faint smile and nodded her head. You knew she had just come back from the entombment of her father—Lord Rickon Stark, whom had passed away. She received word from her brother, Cregan, not too long that he wishes to see her again. You had no idea why Alicent would even reject the idea, considering they are distant relatives from her mother’s side.

“The Queen knows what is best for me..she had promised my mother that she would look after me during my time here in King’s Landing.”

Even if Lysanna says those words with a grin on her face, you can tell she was still upset. She had missed her family dearly and wishes to be back home permanently but you knew there was a slim chance that Alicent would allow that to happen.

“I assure you, you will ride back to Winterfell. I will talk to the King..his word is above the Queen’s.” You reassured the young lady, Lysanna was truly in debt to you and your sister.

“Father, may I hold Joffrey?”

Suddenly, you spot Luke clinging to the baby, trying to hold him before getting yanked away by Jace and his father. “No, no, no.” Laenor fiercely exclaimed, dragging them both out, “Off to the dragon pit, you two.”

“But I want to hold Joffrey!” Luke whined.

You let out a loud laugh and ushered Lysanna to follow them, “Please escort the princes to the dragon pit. I shall meet you three there, I must talk to my sister on an important matter.”

Lysanna quickly glanced over to Rhaenyra then back to you before nodded and left with the kids as Laenor closes the door behind him.

Once they left, you could only sigh in relief. You had longed to talk to Rhaenyra and she quickly noticed your sudden change in attitude after she had excused the Commander of City’s Watch, holding young Joffrey when he gave him to her before leaving, “What has been troubling you, young sister?”

You fiddled with your thumbs in response, not knowing how to speak about the topic of marriage, labors, and children.

“Father brought it up again.”

With that, Rhaenyra immediately knew. Of course she knew, she was the one who quickly stood to your defense when the Queen had first proposed the idea. She let it be known that she was your voice in court and always stated that you will wed under your own terms. Afterall, your ten-and-fifth nameday was coming up soon and you were at the age of being wedded off, Alicent made sure you had known that.

Rhaenyra snaked her unoccupied hand to hold yours, she wanted to comfort you. Truly, she loves you so much. You were the only thing she now has of the memory of your mother and it was quite known that Rhaenyra was protective of you.

“Listen to me, sister,” Rhaenyra whispered, softly, “you will have the choice to yourself, I will make sure of it. You can put off the decision for as long as you want, I was ten-and-seventh when I was betrothed.”

Her reassurance only helped little. You know she will do her best to keep you safe, she always showed this. But the Queen will always do everything in her power to have it her way. Ever since you were just a babe, she was so persistent to take care of you like you were one of her own children—even referred you as her “eldest daughter” way too many times in court and it had always left Rhaenyra with a sour feeling.

“A wise woman had once told me,” Rhaenyra lets out a sharp sigh before continuing, “that we both have royal wombs and you will lie in that bed soon enough, sweet sister. This discomfort is how we serve the realm and with that, I had now understood what she had said. But of course..merely hours later, that wise woman had died in childbed.”

You could only take a deep breath and breathe out slowly, you did not want to cry but your own body was betraying you.

“Was it mother who spoke those words?”

Rhaenyra only gave you a fainted smile before nodding, “She would’ve been so proud on what you had become, dear sister.” Those words completely broke you and you could no longer hide the warm tears streaming down your cheeks.

Truly, you missed your mother and years after years you had blamed yourself for the death of your twin brother and mother. As though you were named to be the Realm’s Beauty and Undying—you knew deep down the Realm had longed for your deceased brother, not you.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Oh my gosh, it took me about a month to write this lol! I am honestly going by hotd’s plot and a few of my ideas for the story. I do not want to fully go by fire and blood because I want this story to be less angst hehe. My first time writing, so sorry if it sucks! I apologize 😭

#jacaerys velaryon x reader #jacaerys targaryen x reader #jace velaryon x reader #jacaerys velaryon x you #jace velaryon x you #jacaerys targaryen x you #jace targaryen x reader #jace targaryen x you #jacaerys x you #jacaerys x reader #jacaerys velaryon #hotd #house of the dragon #house of the dragon x reader #hotd x reader #hotd x you #house of the dragon x you #fire and blood #a song of ice and fire

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kwanisms · 1 year

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Just Like That — h.joshua

» seventeen masterlist «

playlist: fever — enhypen; light a flame — seventeen; sexuality — taemin ➮ incubus!Joshua × f!reader wc: 16k summary: fantasizing about her handsome and sweet coworker has some unintended consequences for Y/N when an incubus shows up in her home after unintentionally summoning him with what she thought was just gibberish. genres/themes/au: angst, one sided pining, smut; religious themes, supernatural themes, demonic themes; non idol au, demon au warnings: adult dialogue, female reader, sexual content (18+ mdni), see smut warnings under the cut! permanent taglist: @yoonguurt @wonderfulshinee @candidupped @dejavernon @violagoth @tigermoonbiss @katsukis1wife @luvsooby @thesolarplanetarysystem @salty-for-suga @devilsmatches @dmnspiit @simeonswhore @yangracha @atinypurr @aikyubi @labyrinthonmymind @bintificreads @toxic-babexe @plutoneu @sunwoosbaby @lilramennoodle @deadgirlwalking3 seventeen taglist: @aikisbbq @drunk-on-dk @cixrosie @hoeforcheol @98-0603 @briannabk22 @vampiirose @plants-w0rld @dementedaly @generic-teez-127 @sweetlylemon unable to tag: @prestineaugstine @imwhoever @lunaryoongie join my taglists: main Strikethrough means I cannot tag you. MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED. AGELESS BLOGS WILL ALSO BE BLOCKED.

a/n: this is just pure filth and I won't apologize lol I did this to torture the bestie. It was supposed to be a timestamps lol and it turned into 16k. Thank you for reading, reblogs and comments are always appreciated, and as always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only.

A huge thank you to @kpop-stories-21 & @anyamaris for sprinting with me back to back and essentially keeping me company while I worked on this 💕

Translation notes: Cur curritis is google translate latin for ‘why are you running?’ disclaimer: I do not know latin so this could be wildly inaccurate because it’s google translate. Likewise, Mortalem te interro- gavi is what I got for ‘i asked you a question, mortal.’ Again, I don’t know latin. I just used google translate. I’m not going for accuracy here lol. The incantation, Te invoco a profundus inferni is from Supernatural lol

smut warnings: unprotected sex (pls use protection), tentacles, dirty talk, praise, pet names (baby, doll, angel, slut, etc), marking (f receiving), spanking (f receiving) , spitting, choking (f receiving) , fingering (f receiving), slight somnophilia, rough sex, anal, double penetration, multiple orgasms (f receiving), creampie, breeding kink, big d!ck!Joshua being a menace to my sanity, dom!Shua, sub!Reader, and I think that's everything but of course, let me know if I missed something!

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Autumn was in the air. The mornings had become chilly, frosty dew covered grass crunching underfoot that gave way to cool days, the sun warming just enough but not burning. The scent of the holidays hung in the air as you noticed decor going up on your way to work in the mornings.

The only coffee shop in town had finally put up their fall menu and despite how much flack you got for it, you were excited that the pumpkin cakes and warm vanilla chai lattes with a sprinkle of cinnamon and Halloween themed foam designs were back. On your days off, you could enjoy a steaming mug, adoring the jack-o-lantern face staring back at you from atop your drink.

On days like today, you opted for the to-go version of your favorite vanilla latte, grabbing an americano as well as two slices of pumpkin cake, topped with chopped candied walnuts. The bell rang, the sound crystal clear as you exited the shop and headed down the sidewalk littered with fallen leaves in various shades of browns, oranges, and yellows.

Children hurried on by, on their way to school as you walked, rounding the corner and heading for the end of the block where the antique shop you worked at stood, the old brick building stood. It was a much older building than the ones that stood around it, the brick darker and more weatherworn.

You let out a sigh, breath hanging briefly in the cool air as you looked at the storefront. White and black striped awnings hung over the large windows, gold lettering adorning the glass in a curly script that read ‘Pandora’s Box’. You crossed the cobblestone street, heading for the old wooden door and pressed down on the handle. It turned under your hand and allowed you to enter the shop.

A soft bell rang out and immediately you could hear shuffling coming from the back of the shop.

“Sorry!” a voice called out. “We’re closed!” You ignored the voice as you moved around behind the front counter and set down both coffees and the paper bag with the pumpkin cake. You were taking off your coat when your coworker and owner of the voice appeared and glanced over at you.

“Oh, it’s you,” he said, perking up and straightening his tan colored apron. You fought the urge to giggle as he walked over to the door and peered outside the window before turning the lock and looking over at you. “Thought I locked that when I came in,” he said as you removed your scarf and hung it up with your coat on the hook behind your seat.

“What’s this?” Joshua asked, looking down at the two coffees. You picked yours up and took a sip before picking the second one up and held it out for him. “You got me coffee?” he asked, taking the cup gently from you. “Hot americano, extra cream,” you answered, setting your cup down. “I also got us some-” you were interrupted by a sharp knocking at the window of the door.

Both you and Joshua turned to look and saw an older woman standing at the door. It was the elderly woman that lived out on Broome street. “Isn’t that the cat lady?” Joshua whispered, turning his head to look at you as he set his cup down. “Mrs. Briggs,” you reminded him.

Joshua moved to the door and unlocked it, opening the door and no doubt giving the grumpy old woman a pleasant smile. “How can I help you Mrs. Briggs?” he asked in his sweet voice. The old woman wore a very old fur coat that was a bit ratty, almost as if it hadn’t been taken proper care of.

Under the brown fur, she wore a mustard yellow turtleneck sweater with a long brown skirt that reached almost to her ankles. Under she had brown stockings and some brown low heels. She had all of her gray hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun complete with a yellow scrunchie. In her hands she carried a basket full of different knick knacks and trinkets.

“I need to drop these off,” she said in a gruff voice as she attempted to push past Joshua who blocked her path. She looked up at him, lips parted in a look of pure shock. “Who are you?” she demanded. Joshua gave her his famous smile. The one that had all the girls in the coffee shop swooning or the high school girls giggling as he passed by.

Joshua had only lived in this town for a few years now. He moved into the space above the shop which was owned by his aunt. His uncle had originally run the shop but after his uncle got sick and passed away, Joshua moved in to help his aunt out. He was only supposed to be in town for a short time but he decided to stay after a year.

Joshua smiled at Mrs. Briggs. “It’s Joshua, Mrs. Briggs,” he reminded her. She looked positively outraged. “Well where is Bill?” she demanded angrily. “Uncle Bill passed away three years ago, Miriam,” you said, moving from behind the counter and approaching the door.

Upon seeing you, Mrs. Briggs looked much calmer. “Y/N!” she said desperately. You sent a subtle wink Joshua’s way and took over, keeping the old woman at the door. “I need to drop this off. I can’t have it in the house anymore,” she said, holding out the basket. You nodded, looking down and back up.

“Okay, Miriam. Let me just get my pad of paper and we’ll take care of it,” you said, turning to grab the pad from the counter. In your momentary lapse, Mrs. Briggs had managed to push the door open. Joshua moved forward but you waved him off. “I got this,” you mouthed as the woman set her basket on the counter. Joshua nodded and started to head to the back when you called him back, holding out his coffee and the paper sack.

He took them from you and you told him you’d eat your pumpkin cake later.

It took all of ten minutes to check in all the items Mrs. Briggs had brought in and when you were done, you gently ushered her to the door and waved her off before shutting and locking the door. Joshua reappeared, peering around. “You think after three years, she’d know who I am,” he said, moving to lean on the counter as you finished adding the items to the store’s inventory.

“She’s got Alzheimer’s,” you said softly as you worked. Joshua said nothing, watching you write instead. When you finished the line you were on, he finally spoke. “Sorry,” he whispered. You glanced up as you capped the pen and smiled at him. “It’s okay,” you responded, setting the pen aside and flipping the page to a new sheet. “She’s a mean old lady, even before her diagnosis. Very pushy and rude,” you replied as you started to place the items back in the basket.

Joshua moved to help you. “Did she want the basket back?” he asked as you worked together. You shook your head. “No,” you said with a chuckle. “The only thing Mrs. Briggs has more than cats are baskets. I don’t think she’ll be missing this one.” You gave him a wink and made to grab the handles. He stopped you, taking the basket himself. “I got this,” he said and nodded towards the back.

“Your slice of pumpkin cake is in the back. I’ll finish opening up, you go eat.”

You smiled, thanking him before heading to the break room in the back. It wasn’t so much a room as it was an area blocked off. There was a small kitchenette with a mini fridge, microwave, and a sink. In the middle of the space was a small round table with three wooden chairs. Sitting on the table was the paper sack. You washed your hands quickly and took a seat, opening the bag.

The pumpkin cake was delicious as always and you savored each bite. As you were finishing it, Joshua’s voice rang out from the front. “I’m going to open the shop!” he called. You stuffed the last bite of cake in your mouth and got up, tossing the paper sack in the bin and washed your hands, chewing hastily as you dried your hands and hurried back to the front.

Joshua stood behind the counter and looked up as you approached. “You didn’t have to come up here,” he chuckled as you grabbed your own apron from under the counter and put it on. “I was finished anyway,” you replied, attempting to tie your apron strings. Joshua laughed softly and moved to stand behind you. “Here,” he said softly, taking the ties from you and carefully tying them.

“It’s a lot easier when you have help,” he said, his voice soft and breath hitting the back of your neck.

Your cheeks burned and you were thankful he couldn’t see the way you drew your bottom lip between your teeth or hear the way your heart hammered in your chest or feel the heat rush to your core.

“There,” he said simply and moved to grab the paper he’d been reading. “All set.”

You forced a smile, turning your head before moving to your usual spot behind the counter and taking a seat on the stool.

It wasn’t the first time you’d had this reaction to Joshua and it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

You weren’t proud to admit it, but you’d had more than one fantasy about your coworker. It was his fault really for being so nice and polite and sweet. Not to mention incredibly handsome and when he pushed his sleeves up, exposing his forearms, you could feel your panties stick to you every time he did something so effortlessly.

It was no secret half the women in town found Joshua attractive and you were one of them. Unfortunately for you, he was your coworker and although Bill wasn’t around anymore, Joshua seemed to adhere to the strict no dating coworkers policy Bill had. Of course, Bill was married and he was usually the only one in the shop until you joined.

You weren’t in the habit of dating bosses so you never cared much about the policy but now it was driving you mad. Especially during the times it felt like Joshua was flirting with you though you never truly knew for sure if he was serious or just being playful. It was hard to tell with him.

The morning flew by after opening the shop. It wasn’t like you were busy. Most of the customers that came in only wanted to look around and very few ever bought anything. Sometimes you’d have town residents come by and drop off their old things. Most of your job was cashiering and inventory.

Joshua did most of the restoration work that came with old furniture as well as other physical tasks like carrying the larger items out to customers’ cars or moving large furniture items to make space for new items. When you weren't busy ringing someone up or filling out an inventory sheet, you’d find yourself watching Joshua work, admiring the way he lifted things with ease. He’d pushed up the sleeves of his cream colored sweater hours ago, exposing his forearms and the veins that peeked out whenever he exerted any force.

You tried not to make it obvious you were staring but sometimes he’d glance over and catch you, prompting you to turn your gaze back to the crossword puzzle you were absentmindedly filling out with bogus answers in pencil. When you looked away, you missed the way Joshua’s smile turned into more of a smirk. He knew you were watching him and he knew he had an effect on you to some extent.

But not the full extent.

He didn’t know how you sometimes thought about him late at night as you teased yourself with your fingers or how you imagined it was his fingers as you pushed them into your aching heat. He didn’t know it was him that you dreamed about riding or that you wondered how his cock tasted.

And he never would.

The sun had started to set when Joshua finally locked the front door. You stretched your arms above your head, letting out the tiniest of squeaks as he walked over. “You can head home,” he said, leaning against the counter, resting his palms against the surface.

“I can close up here,” he added. You shook your head. “It’s okay, you answered. “I don’t have any plans.” Joshua tilted his head, trying to hold back a smirk. “No exciting hot dates?” he asked as you opened the register. You snorted, shaking your head. “No,” you replied.

“Why not?” he asked as you started to count the bills in the till. You looked up to meet his gaze. You hadn’t expected him to ask you that. “Uh…” you trailed off as you stopped counting. “I guess I just haven’t met someone,” you answered. Joshua’s head tilted the opposite way at that.

“You haven’t?” he pressed. It seemed like he was trying to make a point but you weren’t sure what he expected you to say. You shook your head. “Well,” you continued. “Not anyone that’s available,” you added softly, turning your gaze back down to continue counting.

You finished counting the bills and moved onto the change as Joshua watched you. When you finished and wrote down the total, adding it to the records book, Joshua finally spoke. “How about we finish up here and then go get dinner,” he offered. You nearly tripped over your own feet as you turned away from the shelf where you stored the records book.

Turning to look at him, you found him already looking at you, a smile and expectant look.

“O-okay,” you said softly, mentally cursing yourself for stammering. Joshua smiled and turned away before heading to the back of the shop to make sure everything was locked up while you pulled out the profits from the register and placed them into a bank bag and headed for the back where you found Joshua grabbing the broom. “Here,” you said, holding out the bank bag.

He looked up as he separated the dustpan from the broom. He nodded towards the door that led upstairs. “Just set it up on the counter up there,” he said as he moved past you for the door back into the shop. “What?” you asked, turning as he stopped at the door. “Just put it on the kitchen counter up here,” he said with a smile. You glanced at the door to the stairs and then back at Joshua.

“You mean in your apartment?”

He nodded, the smile spreading. “Yeah,” he answered. “Here.” You watched as he reached into his pocket and fished out his keys before tossing them to you. “Just let yourself in.”

With that, he disappeared into the front and left you standing in the break area. Taking a deep breath, you turned to the door and took hold of the knob. ‘You got this Y/N,’ you told yourself. ‘It’s just his apartment.’

You turned the knob and pushed the door open. It creaked softly as you peered into the dimly lit hall. The bottom landing was small and immediately went into the staircase. You shut the door behind you and started up the stairs, each step creaking under foot.

At the top, you managed to pick out the right key and unlocked the door before pushing it open.

Whatever you’d been expecting, it was not this. You’d only ever seen this space once and it was a mostly empty space with a few furniture items stored up here. It was dusty, dark save for the large glass windows at the back of the space that looked out into a small courtyard that backed up to a wooded area. The space had been transformed into a functional studio apartment.

A kitchen had been installed, brown counters with white quartz tops lined the wall against the stairs. A kitchen island separated the kitchen space from the living space. Facing a brick wall was a comfortable looking sofa with a low table between it and a media stand where a large flatscreen stood.

You walked further into the apartment, shutting the door behind you as you continued to look around.

The media stand held numerous DVDs and knick knacks. A knitted blanket lay folded over the arm of the cream colored couch with warm brown accent pillows. On the coffee table sat a small mirrored tray with a gold rim. In the middle was a small tv remote and a couple candles.

Against the wall under the windows stood a side table running the length of one of the windows. It had doors with small brass knobs and most likely held an assortment of different things. ‘Probably storage,’ you told yourself as you turned away from the living room.

Behind the couch was a partition wall that didn’t reach the ceiling. It was made of bamboo and straight geometric shapes with a sheer material on one side to create a separate bedroom space.

The bed was a large king size, wooden frame with clawed feet. You recognized it as one of the pieces that had been stored up here before. Joshua must have cleaned and restored it because the last time you saw it, the wood was dull and coated with a thick layer of dust.

At the end of the bed was a small bench with a folded blanket and a space to sit. Oh either side of the bed were matching nightstands in matching wood to the bed frame. The bed linens were creams and browns, both neutral but cozy and inviting.

Next to the bedroom space at the end of the kitchen was a small folding door housing what you assumed was a pantry and next to that was another door which you could only assume led to a bathroom.

Between the bed and the bathroom stood a large armoire with double doors. It was another piece that you recognized being stored in the space and just like the bed frame, Joshua cleaned and restored it so it was almost unrecognizable.

Next to the armoire in the corner was a full length mirror leaning against the wall. The top was decorated with postcards and a few pictures. Before you had a chance to move closer and take a look, you heard the door behind you open and spun around to find Joshua entering the apartment.

The two of you stared at one another for a moment before he spoke. “I’m done downstairs,” he commented. “Thought you might have gotten lost,” he added with a smirk. You shook your head, still holding the bank bag. Joshua nodded towards it. “You gonna hold onto that?” he asked, amused when you quickly set it down on the kitchen island.

“Shall we then?” he asked, nodding towards the door. You nodded without another word and headed for the door quickly, much to his amusement. Joshua stopped you with his hand on your arm gently. You looked down at his hand and up to meet his gaze. He held out his other hand.

“Keys?” he asked simply. You dropped them in his hand and headed down the stairs as he chuckled to himself, closing the door and locking it before following you.

“Are you hungry?” he asked as you reached the landing. You nodded again. “Yeah,” you managed to say as he led the way into the front of the shop. “How does Italian sound?” he asked as you grabbed your things, pulling on your coat and scarf. You nodded, heading for the door as he followed.

“Italian sounds fine.”

Once the shop was locked up, the walk to the Italian restaurant didn’t take much time at all. It was a small place with only about 5 tables and a small bar. It was nestled between a bakery and butcher shop, all owned by the same family. Joshua held the door for you with a smile as you thanked him and stepped inside.

You’d been to this place maybe once or twice in the whole time you’d lived in this town. It had been owned by the same family for generations and was currently being run by the grandchildren of the original owner. A young girl at the host stand smiled as you entered the building.

“Just two?” she asked. Joshua nodded as she gathered the menus and silverware, rolled up into black cloth napkins. She tucked the menus and silverware into her arm and picked up a pen, jotting something down on a piece of paper on the host stand before smiling at the two of you. “Right this way!”

She led you to a smaller table in the corner meant for couples. All the tables were round, most seating about four patrons. There was a small room off the main dining area with a much larger table meant for bigger parties. Along the wall were smaller tables with two chairs each and at the back was the bar. A long window allowed a look into the kitchen where you could catch glimpses of workers passing by.

A door at the far corner opposite your table allowed workers in and out of the kitchen. You removed your coat, laying it across the back of your chair and sat down as Joshua did the same and the hostess set the menus and silverware down on the table. “What can I get you started to drink?” she asked as you both settled into your seats.

“Just water,” you answered, not in the mood for soda or coffee. Joshua smiled at the hostess as he glanced over the drink menu. “A glass of cabernet, please,” he said politely. He turned to look at you. “You sure you just want water?” he asked, tilting his head. You looked down at the menu, eyes scanning before finding something that sounded good. “I’ll just have a limoncello martini,” you said, looking up at the hostess who smiled and nodded. “I’ll go put those in and your server will be by soon,” she chirped.

“And I’ll still bring you that water,” she added with a wink your way before heading off.

You looked down at the menu, flipping it over to look at the entrees. The menu wasn’t huge but they had a lot of options to choose from. As your eyes scanned, you could feel eyes on you and glanced up through your lashes to find Joshua already doing the same. He glanced back down, a smirk tugging at his lips. You looked back down, trying to finalize your decision.

“I can’t choose,” you heard him say softly. “I’m stuck between the tuscan-grilled sirloin or the mezzaluna,” he added, glancing up to meet your gaze. “Well they have an option to do both,” you offered, looking over the combinations. “You could get a 7 oz sirloin and a half order of mezzaluna,” you read off the menu. “That way you don’t have to choose.”

Joshua nodded as he looked at the menu. “What are you getting?” he asked softly, looking up once more. “The chicken,” you answered, setting your menu down as the host returned, setting two glasses of water down. You thanked her and picked it up, taking a sip. “Which chicken?” Joshua asked as he lifted his own glass, keeping his eyes trained on you.

Before you could answer, the server arrived. She was around the same age as the hostess and looked like she could be an older sister. “Hey,” she said breathlessly and you could only assume she’d been running all over the restaurant, serving multiple tables. “Your drinks should be coming from the bar in just a moment,” she said as she pulled out a pad and a pen. “Would you like to start with an appetizer?” she asked, looking between the two of you.

Before you could say anything, Joshua answered.

I’d actually like to get an order of the cozze in bianco,” he said without even looking at the menu. “I’ve tried just about every other starter but I haven’t tried the mussels,” he added. The server smiled as she jotted that down. “They’re really good,” she answered. “I’m not just saying that cause I work here,” she continued. “They’re genuinely delicious. It’s my grandma’s recipe,” she added.

You looked up, intrigue written across your face. “You’re part of the family?” you asked. She nodded with a proud smile. “Fourth generation,” she clarified. “My great grandparents started the place. My grandparents just retired and now my uncle and dad are running the place,” she explained, pointing at two men behind the bar.

“My sister is one of the hosts,” she added, pointing to the host stand where the hostess who had seated you stood. “I thought you might be related,” you said with a triumphant smile. It felt good knowing your instincts were spot on. “Yeah!” the server said. “Anyway, I’ll get this in,” she said, tapping the pad with her pen. “Then I’ll grab your drinks and come back to take your meal order,” she added with a smile and an “I’ll be right back.”

Once she left, Joshua turned to look at you. “I guess it really is a family business,” he said with an amused tone. You nodded, uncertain of what to say. Silence fell over the two of you as you waited for the server to return. You glanced up from the menu to find Joshua reading over the list of wines. “So,” you said softly, drawing his attention away from the paper.

“You’ve been here a lot?” you asked. Joshua smiled, setting the wine list down. “Been here? Sort of,” he answered. “This place is right around the corner from the shop,” he started to explain as you took another sip of water. “It’s perfect for getting carryout,” he added. “I’ll just call and place an order and then come pick it up and take it home.”

You listened patiently as he explained. “I don’t go out much,” he continued. You tilted your head as he spoke. “How come?” Joshua looked up from the table, eyes meeting yours. “I don’t know many people,” he admitted softly. “So you just stay in your apartment?” you questioned.

He nodded slowly. “Sometimes I go visit my aunt but my cousin recently moved back in with her and we don’t exactly…” he trailed off, thinking of the right words. “Get along.” Before you could ask any more, the server returned with your drinks, setting the wine in front of Joshua and the cocktail in front of you.

“So,” she said with a smile as she pulled out her notepad and pen. “What can I get you?”

After ordering, your conversation with Joshua shifted to other things. You talked about what he did in his spare time, discussing his taste in movies, books, and more. It was the most you’d ever gotten the chance to speak to him but it was nice to learn more about the man you spent half your day with four days a week. You wanted to consider Joshua a friend and hoped he could do the same.

The food was amazing. The mussels were cooked to perfection and though you were never big on them, Joshua got you to try at least one and you were surprised by how good it was. Your meals arrived just as you were finishing the last of your appetizers.

His steak looked incredible and he’d asked for marsala sauce on top. Your chicken was juicy and tender and the lemon butter sauce was perfect. You were glad you decided to forgo the capers in the end. The portions were just right and you were left feeling full but not stuffed at the end.

As your server took your empty dishes, she asked if you had saved room for dessert. Joshua glanced at you. “We’ll look over the menu,” he said and she nodded, moving to take your empty plates away. Joshua looked over the dessert menu. “I don’t think I could any more,” you commented. “Not without hating myself afterwards.” Joshua snorted and handed the menu to you.

“We could always split something,” he offered.

You looked over the page, eyes scanning the sheet. There were staples like tiramisu and cannolis but there were also unique twists on traditional pieces like a cannoli cake. You spotted a chocolate cake as well as cheesecake. “I’m not sure,” you said softly, drawing your bottom lip between your teeth before handing the menu back. “You decide. I’m sure whatever you pick will be delicious,” you added.

Joshua looked over the menu as the server returned. “Made a decision?” she asked to which Joshua nodded. “One slice of the cannoli cake,” he answered, handing her the menu. “We’ll take it to go,” he added and she nodded, moving to put in the order and bring the check. You moved to open your bag but Joshua stopped you. “This is on me,” he said as he pulled out his wallet.

“No, it’s okay!” you said as you pulled your own wallet out. Joshua shook his head. “I insist,” he said more firmly. “I asked you to join me. It’s my treat,” he continued. Sensing you weren’t going to win this argument, you let him have his victory.

When the server returned with the check, Joshua immediately handed her his card and she walked away. While she was gone, you replaced your wallet in your bag and looked up to meet Joshua’s gaze. “Thank you,” you said softly. “For dinner.” Joshua returned the smile as the server returned with his card and the cannoli cake slice already bagged up.

Joshua signed the slip as the server smiled at you. “How was everything?” she asked.

“Oh it was amazing,” you answered as you finished your cocktail. “Better than I remembered,” you added. “Thank you so much,” Joshua said as he slipped a couple bills out of his wallet and tucked them behind the signed slip and handed them to the server. “The food and the service was incredible as always,” he added. The server thanked both of you before walking away.

Joshua stood up and grabbed his coat. You stood up quickly, gathering your things as he grabbed the togo bag and led the way to the door.

Outside, the sun had fully set behind the trees and the streetlamps outside had turned on. You pulled your coat on, noticing the chill that had set in. Joshua had already pulled his coat on and was watching as you slung your scarf around your neck. “Well, I should get home,” you said breathlessly.

Joshua gave you a peculiar look. “Don’t you want to come up and try this?” he asked, holding up the to-go bag. “We got it to split,” he reminded you.

Although your gut was telling you this was a bad idea, you agreed and followed Joshua down the sidewalk and around the corner. The shop loomed over the both of you in the darkness, only one dim streetlamp illuminating the space in front of it as Joshua reached the door and pulled out his keys.

He unlocked the door and stepped in, allowing you to enter after him. As he shut the door your eye fell on the basket on the counter. You were almost one hundred percent certain that hadn’t been there when you both left earlier. “Uh… what’s that?” you asked as Joshua closed and locked the door.

He looked to where you were pointing, setting the bag on the counter and moving to the basket.

“It almost looks like Mrs. Briggs basket,” he said as he grabbed the handle and pulled it towards him. “But the items are different.” You watched as he sifted through the items. “Could you uh…” he asked, turning to look at you. “I hate to ask since we’ve already closed up and it is pretty late, but could you inventory this for me?,” he continued.

“I really should learn how to do it myself.”

You nodded, moving around the counter to grab your pad and pen. You watched as he pulled each item out and set them on the counter. “None of these items are the same as the ones Mrs. Briggs brought earlier,” you said softly as you started to write down the items and the descriptions.

Your eyes fell onto a small statuette and you set your pen down before grabbing it and looking at it.

In the low light you could tell it was very old. It was a small animal statue. The material you couldn’t discern but it almost felt ceramic. It was a cute little calico kitty. You looked it over but couldn’t find any manufacturer or name. “Huh,” you huffed as you set it down, drawing Joshua’s attention.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. You looked up at him. “This little statue,” you replied, gesturing to the cat. Joshua picked it up and turned it to face him. “What about it?” he asked. You shrugged. “I don’t know actually,” you said softly. “It just caught my eye.”

Joshua glanced up at you and back to the figurine in his hand. He set it back down in front of you. “Tell you what,” he said softly. “You can have it.” You looked up from the notepad, eyes wide. “What? Really?” you asked. He nodded and shrugged. “It’s just a little cat figurine,” he added. “Keep it,” he said.

You thanked him and went back to finishing inventorying all the items. When you were done and the basket packed back up save for your little calico figure, you followed Joshua up to his apartment where he started to unpack the slice of cake. The two of you stood around the kitchen island. “Here,” Joshua said, handing you a fork and using his own to take a bite.

You watched as his eyes fluttered shut, sighing in contentment. “That’s really good,” he murmured, turning to find you watching him. “Try it,” he urged, pushing the plate towards you. You gently stabbed your fork into the cake and brought a piece up to your mouth, fully aware Joshua was watching you intently. It felt oddly intimate, having him watch you so keenly.

Once you tasted the cake, however, his interest in watching you was made clear.

“Wow,” you said through a mouthful of cake, covering your mouth with your hand and looking up to meet his gaze. “That’s really good!” Joshua smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I know!” he exclaimed, taking another bite. The two of you continued to take bites of the cake until there was one little piece left.

You held your hands up and moved to the kitchen sink, rinsing your fork and placing it with the other dishes. “I’m done!” you said as Joshua turned. “The last bite is yours though,” he said with a frown. You shook your head. “No,” you said softly. “I’m good. You can have it.”

Joshua shook his head, moving to stand beside you. “No,” he replied, holding the piece for you. “It’s yours.” You looked from the piece of cake up to his face. He was waiting patiently for you to take the bite and although your gut was telling you this was a bad idea, you took the plunge anyway.

His eyes never left your face as you pulled back, chewing and swallowing the last bite of cake. “Okay,” you said, looking up. “Now I’m-”

Your words were cut short by Joshua pulling you in, lips crashing against yours. You moaned into the kiss as his lips parted yours, tongue slipping into your mouth. All you tasted was cake and saliva. He’d abandoned the plate the second you accepted his advances, discarding it on the counter behind you as one hand moved to your hip, the other staying put on the back of your neck.

Joshua guided your body away from the sink and against the kitchen island. You groaned as the counter dug into your back, a sound that Joshua swallowed as he deepened the kiss. “Fuck,” you hissed as his lips left yours, trailing over your cheek and down the side of your neck.

Without warning, he pulled back, spinning you to face the rest of the room, pushing you against the counter as he grinded against you, allowing you to feel his hard cock. “You have no idea how crazy you drive me,” he growled, one arm wrapping around your chest and holding you against him as he rutted against you. You let out a feeble moan, hands moving up to grab his arm as your legs threatened to give out under you. “J-Joshua,” you whimpered.

Your voice must have snapped him back to reality and just as quickly as it started, Joshua pushed away from you, facing the sink and gripping the sides as he tried to control his breathing. “Oh my god,” he breathed. “I’m so sorry.” You turned to face his back, hands on the counter behind you as you steadied yourself. “Wh-what just happened?” you panted.

Joshua shook his head and when he spoke again, his voice sounded strained. “I think you should go.”

Your brows knit together in confusion. Was he… kicking you out? After all that?

“What?” you whispered. Joshua raised his head but still didn’t turn to look at you.

“You should go home,” he said, his voice still strained. “This is wrong.”

You stared at the back of his head incredulously. He practically jumped you at the sink and almost bent you over the island of his kitchen and now he was backpedaling? You said nothing, instead grabbing your coat and scarf from the seat you left them on and headed for the door, yanking it open before stepping out onto the landing and slamming the door behind you.

Your footsteps were loud, echoing as you ran down the old wooden steps and into the back room of the shop.

Up front you reached the door in record time but stopped as something caught your eye. The little cat figurine was sitting on the counter, staring back at you. In a split second decision, you grabbed it. He had said you could keep it after all.

The bell rang softly as you exited the shop, slamming the door behind you and hurried down the sidewalk and around the corner. You stopped for a moment to catch your breath before continuing on.

It was late. Really late you noticed as you walked in the direction of your home. The shops and restaurants had all closed for the night and there wasn’t a soul to be found as you walked down the deserted street.

The shops to your left were all dark, only a couple with running lights on in the back of the shop. On the right side, across the street was the park. It covered a good portion of the town, stretching for several blocks. The park was home to the playground, a pond, a dog park, and lots of walking trails.

It was covered in trees and lots of shrubbery. It was a lovely place to walk and visit all year round but right now it felt menacing and looming. You tried not to focus on it as you continued down the path before you, clutching the cat statue tightly in your hands.

It didn’t take long for you to finally reach your home, ignoring the chilly breeze that followed as you let yourself in and shutting the door behind you. It was an older home, built back before the town grew up. It was a family home, one you inherited from your parents after their passing. It was a cute craftsman style home with four bedrooms. You’d closed off the bedrooms upstairs, taking up residence in the master bedroom on the main floor.

You locked the door, listening for the click of the lock as it engaged before finally settling and feeling relieved. You shrugged your coat off and pulled the scarf from around your neck, hanging both up by the door before kicking your shoes off and heading into the living area.

You set the cat statue on the kitchen counter and moved to your fridge to grab some water. You always kept a few bottles of water in the fridge. Turning as you uncapped the bottle and started to sip, you jumped slightly at the glowing eyes peering in at you from the back window.

Once you realized it was only a cat, you berated yourself for overreacting and downed some more water before moving to the bedroom but only after making sure the doors and windows were locked.

In the safety of your room, you drew the blinds and curtains, quickly undressing and pulling on your pajamas. Your bed was all but calling your name as you pulled back the covers and climbed in, settling under the comforter as the exhaustion of the day weighed down on you.

You fell into a deep slumber, one you didn’t even remember falling into.

Your alarm woke you up at 630 on the dot and you groaned, lifting your head to peek at the red numbers. You really did not want to get out of bed. Mostly because you were comfortable in your warm cocoon and because the events of last night were flooding back in and you weren’t sure if you could even face Joshua after that.

You knew staying in bed and wallowing in your misery wasn’t going to help so as much as you didn’t want to, you turned your alarm off, threw the covers off your body and started to pull yourself from the depths of your bed.

As you sat up, you grabbed your phone sitting on the nightstand beside your half empty bottle of water.

Unlocking the screen you found you had a text waiting for you. From Joshua.

Your heart hammered in your chest as you tapped on the icon to read what he had to say.

Joshua: hey, don’t worry about coming in today. The shop is closed for some repairs. You’ll still get paid so don’t worry about that either. I’ll see you Monday

Your stomach dropped into your lap as you read his messages. So he couldn’t face you either? You weren’t sure what kind of repairs the shop could need. There wasn’t anything you noticed in the last few days. You chose to avoid deciphering what he meant and instead to use the day to get things done.

As you got up and started your morning, you took a shower and changed into clean clothes, opting for a light caramel colored sweater and light denim jeans. You gathered up your dirty clothes and took them to the small laundry room off your kitchen, setting a load and going about the rest of the house, cleaning and putting things back where they belonged.

Time ticked by as you worked, stopping briefly to take a lunch break when you realized you were low on groceries. Deciding to swap your washed clothes over to the dryer first, you set out from the house, donning your cream colored long coat but forgoing the scarf. Today was much warmer than the previous day.

Your walk from your neighborhood to the market only took a couple minutes and you greeted the cashier at the front as you entered and grabbed a bright yellow shopping trolley. You wheeled your cart through the aisles, grabbing items from your list off the shelves and crossing them off as they landed in the basket. You had just turned into the cereal aisle when you stopped dead in your tracks.

Halfway down the aisle was Joshua. He was smiling as he handed a box from the top shelf to an elderly woman. You couldn’t see her face so you didn’t know which resident it was. You tried to back up and head for another aisle but in your haste, you bumped into the display next to you, knocking a few cans of beans off the shelves.

Joshua and the woman heard the commotion and looked in your direction. ‘Oh brilliant,’ you thought to yourself as you knelt down to pick up the stray cans that rolled across the tile. As you stood up, Joshua and the woman had parted ways and he was currently walking in your direction.

You turned away as he approached, setting up the cans and trying to mimic the display they’d been in before.

“Hey,” you heard Joshua say softly. You turned to face him, forcing a smile. “Hey,” you mimicked.

The two of you said nothing, instead standing awkwardly before one another, looking anywhere that wasn’t the other person. ‘Why is this so awkward? Why are you even still standing here? Just walk away!’ You cleared your throat and forced another smile, laughing awkwardly as you took the handle of your trolley. “Well, I gotta go,” you said, your voice much higher pitched than before.

Joshua’s eyebrows shot up as you started to turn your cart and push it past him. He was quick, grabbing your wrist and turning you to face him, backing you up against the shelf of canned beans. Your breath caught in your throat as Joshua looked at you, eyes studying your face.

You saw them briefly look down to your lips and back up. Finally he spoke.

“I’m sorry about last night,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know what came over me.” you shook your head quickly. “It’s fine,” you squeaked. “Alcohol does that sometimes,” you added after clearing your throat. Joshua nodded, eyes still fixated on your lips as you spoke. “It doesn’t have to mean anything,” you continued.

The shift in his expression was unmistakable but you couldn’t tell what emotion he was conveying. “It… doesn’t?” he asked softly. You shimmied out of his grip, straightening your coat as you heard voices enter the aisle you were currently standing in. “No,” you replied. “It doesn’t.”

Joshua opened his mouth to respond but you stopped him. “Don’t worry about it,” you added. “Let’s just forget it. I’ll see you on Monday.”

You didn’t let him speak as you hurried away, pushing your cart into the next aisle to finish your shopping. You were grateful he didn’t attempt to follow you and luckily you didn’t see him again, which allowed you to return to the cereal aisle and grab a box of your favorite brand.

After visiting the dairy section, you headed to the front to check out. The next stop was the butchershop where you grabbed your usual cuts of chicken, pork, and beef before heading home to stock your fridge as well as fold and put away your clean laundry.

The task took longer than you were expecting and by the time the last towel was neatly tucked and folded, you saw that it was getting close to dinner time. You sighed, glancing at your fridge upon realizing you hadn’t prepared anything you bought yet.

You got up and walked over to the fridge and opened the door, looking at the contents and settled on one of the flank steaks you’d bought earlier. You grabbed the package and pulled it from the fridge as well as a couple other items and started with rinsing the vegetables you selected.

As you set the items on the counter, the small kitten figure caught your eye. You’d yet to find it a home in your place and moved to pick it up. As you did, a small portion of the bottom fell off onto the counter with a soft clatter and you cursed under your breath. It seemed as if the statuette had a small seal on the bottom that had seemingly come loose.

You turned the figure upside down and your eye caught the end of something shoved into the tiny space inside the ceramic figure. You carefully removed what turned out to be a rolled up piece of paper and set the figure down to start unrolling the paper.

Blackish text written in what you could only assume was a dark red ink adorned one side of the paper. You weren’t sure what it said but you could tell it was a different language. Possibly latin. Your brows furrowed as you read the words in your head before trying to sound them out.

“Te invoco a profundus inferni,” you read off in what you could only assume was terrible latin. You studied the paper for a moment longer before shrugging and turning to your trash bin, crumbling up the paper and tossing it away.

‘Out of sight, out of mind.’

Once rinsed, you started to prepare the potatoes, slicing them thinly before adding them to a glass baking dish. You worked over the dish and the stove simultaneously, making a cream sauce to add to the potatoes before sprinkling some cheese and panko over the top and putting in the oven.

While that baked, you poured yourself a glass of wine and turned on some music on your phone. The bottle was a new one you picked up earlier. While sipping on the wine, you prepared the steak for cooking, seasoning both sides since you didn’t have time to marinate it.

Soft jazzy tunes floated through the air as you went about the kitchen, heating a skillet before adding the steak which started sizzling immediately. You sipped on some more wine as you waited to flip the steak over. Your mind wandered as you waited, wondering what Joshua was up to before you forced the thought out of your head.

‘Stop thinking about him!’

You continued to listen to the music as your steak cooked, sizzling again when you flipped it onto the uncooked side. Once the steak was cooked to your liking, you pulled it from the pan and set it aside to rest while you checked your potatoes and added the chopped veggies to the hot pan, drizzling them with some oil. It was something you learned from your mother.

Once you were sure your veggies were done, the timer for the oven went off and you made a plate for yourself, sitting down at the kitchen island to eat. You had a dining room but as you lived alone, you saw no point in using the table. You could just eat at the island instead.

Just as you were cutting into the steak, you heard the doorbell ring and turned to look at the front door which you could just see from your spot. You waited for a moment before it rang again and you got up quickly, moving to answer it.

Pushing the curtain covering the window beside the door aside, you peered out onto the front step but saw no one. You contemplated opening the door but decided against it and instead looked through the peephole.

Again, you saw no one standing on the other side.

You took a step back, staring at the door in confusion until your thoughts were interrupted by three sharp knocks. You stared at the door and moved quickly back to peer through the hole. Again, the front step was empty. You moved to peer through the curtain but still saw nothing. You turned the deadbolt and backed away from the door, staring at it for a few moments more.

When nothing happened, you turned to head back to the kitchen to finish your dinner.

Just as you crossed the threshold into the living room, three loud knocks rang out from the door, causing you to whip around and head back to the door. This time you unlocked and opened the wooden door, leaving the metal storm door securely closed and locked.

Outside, just as you suspected, was no one. The street was deserted as the sun set behind the trees, casting everything in a bluish glow. The twilight glow. You peered out at your front porch, looking from side to side but not opening the outside door.

Seeing no one, you stepped back and shut the door, locking it once more before stepping back and waiting to see if someone knocked again. You weren’t sure what you were expecting, you hadn’t seen anyone before so why would you see anyone this time?

As you were wondering, you heard something different. Loud, heavy footfalls on the steps outside, almost like someone stomping up the steps to your porch. Before you could move to throw open the door to confront the trickster, three loud pounds sounded at the door, the strength of it shaking the floor of your vestibule.

Your eyes widened, heart hammering in your chest as you backed away. Another three pounding slams sounded on the other side of your door. Followed by three more. You rushed to the door and as soon as your hand fell on the handle it all stopped.

You didn’t dare open the door this time. Instead, you made sure the front door was locked before going around the rest of the first floor to make sure all the doors and windows were secured and properly locked. When you were certain they were, you headed upstairs to check the windows and attic door.

Upon reaching the landing, you were horrified to see that the attic door was cracked open. Your breath caught in your throat as you stared at the door, unmoving. You felt a cold chill run up your spine. Although you couldn’t see anything, you knew someone was looking back at you from the darkness.

You watched in horror as the cracked attic door slowly shut on its own. You blew off your sweep of the second floor of your home before running downstairs and grabbing your phone to call the police. As you waited for the operator to pick up you felt a breeze and looked to see your back door was open.

‘I just locked that!’ You were certain you’d locked that before going upstairs. You’d even done the tug test on it. The line clicked and you were greeted with the sound of breathing.

“Hello?” you asked into the receiver frantically. When no one answered but the breathing started to turn into distorted voices and then a deep rumbling growl you hung up and dropped your phone onto the counter next to your plate.

The corners of your eyes burned as you wandered cautiously towards the open door. You peered out the door into the dark and in an instant, you could have sworn your heart stopped. Your breathing sped up as you tried in vain not to hyperventilate.

Standing outside your door, just beyond the reach of the back porch light was a dark figure. There were no distinguishing features, no eyes, nothing to tell you anything other than the fact that someone… or something, was standing outside your door.

Without thinking, you rushed the door and slammed it shut, turning the lock before backing away.

The shrill tone of your phone sounded out and you rushed to pick it up without checking the screen.

“Hello?” you all but shouted. “Ma’am this is [xxx]. We received a call from this number moments ago. Do you have an emergency?” relief flooded your body as you almost passed out from the stress.

“Yes!” you said quickly. “I think someone is in my attic,” you answered. No sooner than you said those words, you heard a loud crash from upstairs. “He might have left the attic and is in the house,” you whispered, your body starting to shake.

“Can you give me your address?” “It’s Y/N,” you said quickly before giving your address. The town was small and the police station wasn’t far from your home. You knew an officer would be by in no time. “Okay Y/N,” the dispatcher said. “I have two officers enroute. In the meantime, can you find a weapon and a place to hide?”

Your eyes landed on the huge knife you’d used to cut your steak earlier and grabbed it quickly. “I have a knife,” you announced softly to the dispatcher who commended you. “Now you need to find a place to hide. Can you do that?” he asked. You tiptoed softly towards your bedroom, keeping your eyes on the bottom of the stairs before finally reaching the threshold and closing your bedroom door.

You turned the lock and made for your closet, squeezing in and sliding the door shut.

“I’m in the closet in my bedroom,” you whispered to the dispatcher. “Where is your bedroom located?” he asked. “Ground floor, back of the house behind the kitchen,” you whispered back. “Please tell them to hurry!”

You listened as the sounds of slow heavy footsteps pounded across the floor above you, heading for the stairs. “I think they’re coming downstairs!” you hissed. “Okay, Y/N,” the dispatcher said calmly. “The officers are almost there. I’m going to stay on the line but you need to be quiet for me, can you do that?”

You nodded and hummed in the affirmative as the heavy steps made their way down the stairs, one step at a time. Each slam had you jumping. You were shaking as you listened, keeping the knife ready to lash out. To your horror, the steps started to walk through the first floor and sounded like they were making a beeline for your room.

You tried to control your breathing as the steps stopped just outside your bedroom door.

You waited for there to be banging or for the door to fly open but neither happened. Instead, there was a rapid knocking at your front door followed by the sound of the front door opening and a voice calling out “police!” you waited for the bedroom door to open and the closet door to slide aside as a light was shown in. “I found her,” the holder of the light said as you held up your hands.

The knife was taken from you and the officer helped you up. After they escorted you out of the house, one officer spoke while another two searched the house bottom to top, clearing each room and even going up into the attic. While the officers searched your home, you gave your statement to the officer who wrote down everything you said.

“And you’re sure you locked all the doors?” he asked, looking up from the notepad. You nodded again. “It’s just that when we arrived, both front doors were unlocked,” he explained. You stared at him blankly. “That’s not possible,” you replied. “I know I locked that door. Multiple times,” you explained.

“Someone was ringing and then kept knocking but each time I checked, there was no one there. I thought it was just kids getting into the Halloween spirit and being a nuisance. Until the pounding,” you continued. The officer narrowed his eyes. “Pounding?” he asked. You nodded as the two officers exited you home.

“Y-yeah,” you answered. “It started as light knocking but when I refused to open the door or come out onto the porch, it turned into pounding. I heard loud stomping up the steps but when I checked, I still saw nothing.”

The officer nodded as he jotted that down while one of the two officers came over.

“We found no sign of forced entry,” she started to explain. “We found a stack of boxes in the attic had fallen over. That was probably the loud crash you heard,” she continued. “Your back door was also unlocked.” Your jaw dropped. “I know I locked that!” you exclaimed. When I came downstairs to call you, the back door was open and when I walked over, I saw someone standing outside-”

“You saw someone outside?” the officer originally taking your statement asked. You nodded quickly as he started writing down more notes. “What did they look like?” You sighed heavily.

“I-I didn’t get a good look.”

Both officers exchanged looks as you rushed to explain further.

“They were standing just outside the light field,” you explained. “But they were tall. Maybe around 1.8 meters,” you explained. “Everything else was just black. There were no distinguishing features at all,” you added. The officers nodded. “Ma’am,” the woman started and you turned to her.

“We noticed an open bottle of wine in the fridge,” she stated and you knew where she was going. “I just opened it,” you explained. “I hadn’t even finished a glass yet,” you added. She nodded and the other officer quickly jotted that down as well.

“Well, other than the boxes in the attic,” she started. “There are no signs of anyone inside the home. Since the points of entry were unlocked, they must have gone out that way before we got here.”

You shook your head silently. “I heard them walk up to the bedroom but I never heard footsteps leave.”

The officers exchanged looks before the woman spoke again. “We’ll have a patrol car in the area for the night and if anything else happens, call us immediately,” she explained as she pulled a card out of a little pouch on her belt. “You can call me directly,” she added. “I’m on duty all night.”

The female officer walked you to your door where you thanked her and watched as both cars pulled away and headed down the street. A chilly breeze blew through the front porch followed by a distant flash of lightning and you quickly retreated inside, making sure your doors were locked before heading to the back door to do the same.

Once you were fully satisfied your doors were locked, you returned to the kitchen to clean up your dinner, putting the uneaten portions in a glass container and putting it in the fridge. You downed the rest of your wine and started to rinse your dishes, placing them in the dishwasher before turning off the lights and heading upstairs to make sure all the lights were off, windows closed and locked.

Before heading back down, you turned back to look at the attic door which was firmly shut. You headed down the steps carefully, turning off the light at the bottom landing before heading to your bedroom where you checked your windows.

Once you were sure everything was secure, you changed and got ready for bed.

Climbing under the covers, you weren’t sure if you’d be able to sleep but exhaustion took over and you were out within minutes of crawling into bed.

You were in the midst of a really good dream when you were startled awake by a loud crash and sudden burst of wind. Sitting up, you looked around the dark room and saw one of your windows had sprang open. ‘How the hell did that open?’

You threw the covers off your legs and got up, moving around the bed ro quickly shut the window, clicking your tongue as you stepped in a wet puddle on the wood floor.

The crash you had heard was thunder and a full blown storm was raging outside. You groaned and turned back towards the room as a flash of lightning illuminated the space causing you to stop in your tracks. In the corner by the door stood a tall, dark shadow.

Your heart hammered in your chest, beating almost up into your throat as it closed, your ability to scream being ripped from you. ‘No,’ you thought. ‘This can’t be happening.’

You glanced at the door but knew deep in your heart that you’d never make it to the door, not with the shadow standing right beside it. Maybe you could climb out the window? Damn! You should have left it open! If only you’d seen the shadow before closing the window!

As you weighed your options, a deep, gravelly voice spoke.

“C̸̫͕̿̀̎̈́̈ͅȗ̶̠̳͉̽ṟ̴͖͛̈́̂̓͠ ̶̞͈̈́̌̄̋͂c̵̪̱̆͂̃u̵̡̪̜̠̣͗͒ř̵̤̠͕͈̉r̵̺̙͙͍̦͂̐i̸͈̜͕͙͐́̑̾t̸̨̩͖̣͖̀̑i̵̯͖̼̓͌͛̑s̴̭̐̍̚̚͠ ?”

You stared at the shadow in the corner. Did… did it just speak?

Uncertain if you heard correctly, you waited for it to speak again, although you had no idea what it said.

“M̶̳̞͖̓ͅỏ̷̮̲̯̚r̴̭̹̈͋̀̎t̶͓̩̪̟̿̉̒́̅a̴͓͐̽͊l̸̲̰̯͛͛͠e̴̝͝m̵͕̱̾͋ ̸̫̩̾͜t̸̪͚͔͋e̴͕̠̘̖̅̍͊ ̶̝̞̌i̵̯̺̯̋̉̄ͅn̶̺̳͚̟̟̊́͆̀t̵̫͗̌̎̕͝e̸̗̋̚ṝ̴̺͇̉͗͗͠r̸̺̭̫͈̖̅̉o̷̟͙̥̱͗͌-̴̮̇ ̷͓́g̷̰̪͋͛̕͝ā̸̙͊̍v̴̭̙̜͋̾̊̚i̶̦̟͌͋̈́͛ .”

Your lips parted as it addressed you, still in the same language.

“I-I don’t understand,” you whispered. The shadow didn’t move but instead, in the same gravelly voice it spoke again, this time in English. “I asked you why you keep running away from me.”

Your stomach nearly fell out of your ass. Whatever this was, it was sentient. “Wh-who are you?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. The shadow figure chuckled. Actually fucking chuckled. The sound was distorted and unsettling.

“I am Tarrunach,” it answered. Your brain tried to wrap around the name. It was unlike anything you’d heard before. “T-Tarrunach?” you repeated. The figure said nothing and stayed perfectly still, another flash of lightning illuminating the room but still the shadow stayed black, a stark contrast with its surroundings.

“What do you want?” you asked softly, shifting your weight as your hand slowly reached behind you for the window latch. The shadow figure tilted its head before speaking in its rough voice.

“You summoned me.”

Your eyebrows shot up. ‘Summoned?’

You shook your head, halting your movements. “N-no I didn’t,” you answered. There was another flash of light and a clap of thunder. As soon as darkness returned to the room, the shadow figure shifted. Eyes appeared and it took all your willpower not to scream in terror at the sight of glowing red eyes.

“Is that the game you want to play?” it asked, voice scratchy and low. “You summoned me. Do you not remember the incantation?”

As you opened your mouth to say no, a memory played in your head, almost like a movie reel. The cat figure with the roll of paper inside. The strange words written in dark red ink.

‘Te invoco a profundus inferni,’ Your eyes widened as the realization hit you.

You knew it was latin but you didn’t know latin. Had you…

Had you accidentally summoned a demon?

You looked back up and noticed the shadow figure had moved and was now standing in front of the door. You leaned back against the window, fingers searching for the latch to open them.

“I-” you trailed off. “I didn’t know that was an incantation,” you admitted. “I thought it was gibberish.”

The figure laughed again. “Are you in the practice of reciting gibberish often?”

You shook your head. “No,” you answered. “Not particularly. I don’t see gibberish very often.”

You were stalling but the figure was moving closer. The flat black shadowy figure had taken on a more corporeal look, instead of blurry appendages, you could make out a curve in the arms by its side. Your fingers brushed against the latch but didn’t manage to catch on.

Another bolt of lightning streaked across the sky, throwing your room in a cast of bright white allowing you to see the figure in full. Your eyes widened, a scream forming in your throat.

Before you stood a blackened figure. The skin looked almost charred. The red eyes looked back at you from a charred face, the lips pulled back into a menacing smile with rows of sharp teeth. The figure was slim and androgynous in appearance. You saw nothing that would distinguish it as either sexually male or female. It was like one of the Ken dolls you’d had as a child.

Before the scream building in your throat could escape, your fingers managed to grab hold of the window latch and you pulled, opening the window. Instantly the wind blew in, the sound of rain intensifying and blowing into the open space. You tried to turn and climb out the window but the figure moved at an impossible speed.

The window was shut, all wind gone as the figure slammed you against the wall beside the window, hand closed around your throat. “This isn’t a game,” it growled in your face, breath hot against your skin. “You summoned me, whether intentional or not,” it hissed. “And I’ve come to collect.”

‘Collect?’

Fear filled your senses, spreading throughout your body and to the tips of your fingers and toes.

“C-collect?” you gasped, clawing at the hand around your neck. “Yes,” the figure snapped. Without warning, it tossed you onto the bed easily and was on top of you as you bounced on the mattress.

“C-collect what?” you coughed. “My soul?”

The demon tilted its head again only this time much faster, so fast you barely registered it except for the cracking sound that accompanied it. “I don’t want your soul,” it growled. You winced as it leaned in, sniffing your cheek before you felt its warm, wet tongue lick a stripe up the side of your face. You tried to push it away but the demon was much stronger.

“You can’t fight me off,” he laughed cruelly.

You felt your throat close up, tears burning at the corners of your eyes as the monster pinned you against the bed. “Please,” you whimpered. “What do you want from me?”

The demon chuckled again, the sound just as jarring. “I want your energy,” it answered.

You turned your face to look up at it in the dark, it’s red eyes boring into yours. “Energ-gy?”

“Your sexual energy,” it added. Your stomach churned at the thought. ‘No way. Absolutely not.’

You shook your head in agreement with your thoughts. “No,” you said defiantly.

The demon laughed, caging you in with its arms against the mattress. “I figured you’d say that,” it said, taking your face in its clawed hand. You stared up, raw fear pumping in your veins as your eyes met. You watched in both shock and horror as the charred skin of the demon melted away to reveal an all too familiar face.

You managed to push the demon off you and scramble off the bed towards the window as the demon stood up. You cowered away, your back up against the wall. “J-Joshua?”

The figure standing in your bedroom smiled at you, flashing a pair of perfect teeth. “Wh-what the hell?”

The demon started to pace back and forth, keeping its eyes trained on you. “What do you think?” it asked. “Looks just like him, right?” You stared in awe. “Or would you believe me if I told you I am Joshua?”

You shook your head quickly. “That’s not possible,” you croaked, your voice hoarse. the demon laughed and instead of the cruel, jarring sound, it was Joshua’s laugh. The one you’d heard countless times in Pandora’s Box as you told him a joke. The smile was the same one he gave you when he caught you staring at him from across the shop.

The same knowing smirk.

You shook your head again. “You’re not Joshua,” you answered. “You’re just messing with me!”

The demon tilted its head again. “That’s where you’re wrong,” it said in a low, menacing tone.

“Let me show you something,” it said, raising one hand and with a snap of its fingers, the lamps in your room came on. You looked around quickly before your eyes landed back on the demon.

“Is that it?” you asked. “I thought you were going to like, snap us to the shop or something,” you added.

The demon’s smile fell and its eyes narrowed.

“You want to go to the shop?” it asked. You nodded. “That’s where he lives,” you said. “The real Joshua!”

The demon sighed and rolled its eyes before standing up straight. “Get dressed,” it said, moving towards the door. You hesitated as it opened the bedroom door. Sensing you weren’t going to move, the demon stopped. “Get dressed,” it ordered again. “I’ll prove it to you.”

You pulled on a pair of sweats and a hoodie before heading out of your bedroom. It was surreal to see the demon masquerading as Joshua in your living room. You slowed to a stop as it walked around, looking around your house. “Nice place,” it said with a smirk. “How come you’ve never invited me here before?” he asked with a mocking tone. You narrowed your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest.

Taking that as a cue you weren’t going to talk, the demon led the way to the door. “Shoes,” it said as it unlocked the deadbolt and looked at you. “We’re going to the shop.”

The walk down the deserted streets at night was eerie enough but the fact that a demon masquerading as your coworker was walking beside you as if nothing was wrong made it even more uncanny. The walk to the shop took no time at all and soon, you were walking up to the front door.

The demon produced a set identical to Joshua’s keys and unlocked the door. You led the way to the back where the door leading up to the steps was already open. You hurried up the steps to the top landing but before you could knock, the door opened and you fell into Joshua’s arms.

“Close the door!” you gasped, scrambling to shut the door behind you and lock it.

You looked up into the concerned brown eyes of your coworker. “Y/N,what’s wrong?” he asked. “It’s the middle of the night and it’s storming.” You glanced down to find your clothes were indeed wet but on your walk, you didn’t remember it raining. Though you did remember it raining when you were back in your bedroom.

“Here,” Joshua said, letting go of you and heading to the wardrobe that stood between the bathroom and the nightstand. “Let’s get you out of those wet clothes.”

You followed him, glancing around quickly. Nothing seemed out of place in the apartment. Joshua pulled out some clothes, holding up the large tee shirt. “This should fit,” he said softly. “It’s not my size.” He pulled out a pair or shorts as well, holding them up to inspect.

Once he’d found something that might fit, he handed them to you and directed you to the bathroom where you changed quickly. Out in the other room, Joshua was heating up a pot of water. He looked up as you approached. “Let me throw these in the dryer,” he offered, taking your clothes from you.

Once he put them in the dryer and poured you a hot cup of tea, you sat at the kitchen island, trying to come up with an explanation as to why you were there. What reason could you possibly have for coming to his place in the middle of the night.

‘I accidentally summoned a demon that wants to collect my sexual energy and it looks just like you.’

He’d call the cops faster than you could finish getting the words out.

Frustrated, you lowered your head and fought the urge to cry, your shoulders shaking. Joshua rounded the island and sat next to you, placing an arm around your shoulders. “Hey, hey,” he said softly. “It’s okay. You’re safe here.” You turned to face him, startling him.

“No one is safe,” you said softly. Joshua’s eyes searched your face. “What?” he said quietly.

“There’s…” your voice quivered as you hesitated. “There’s a demon.”

As soon as the words left your lips, the serious look on Joshua’s face morphed into a smile. “Oh Y/N, please,” he scoffed. “You know, you really are something,” he said, getting to his feet. You watched as he walked back around to his empty cup and moved to put it in the sink.

You got up and ran over to him. “Please, Joshua,” you pleaded. “I’m not messing around!”

When he didn’t respond, you tried to grab his hand. The moment your skin touched his you jerked back with a yelp. Almost like you’d been burned. ‘What the…’

You looked up from his hand to his profile. He slowly turned his head, eyes boring into yours. The brown eyes you’d looked into before were replaced with yellow irises, the sclera no longer white but red. The same eyes you’d seen in your bedroom. Your heart sank as Joshua slowly advanced on you.

“No,” you whimpered, a soft sob escaping you. You tried to run but the demon was quick, grabbing your arm and dragging you over to the counter, trapping you between its body and the kitchen island. “Stop!” you screamed, pushing against its hard chest. “Let me go!”

“I told you,” it said in the voice of Joshua. “I told you I am Joshua.”

You shook your head. “It’s not possible,” you sobbed, tears falling down your cheeks.

The demon took your face in both its hands gently. “I wasn’t lying. I am Joshua. Joshua is me.”

You glanced up to meet the fiery gaze once more. Behind the yellow and red eyes was a sincerity you hadn’t expected to see. The demon wasn’t trying to trick you. “H-how?” you hiccuped.

“How what?” he asked. “Did you not find it odd that I seemingly haunted every dream and waking thought of yours?” he asked. “Or how Mrs. Briggs didn’t recognize me?” You looked up at him. “Are you even related to Bill?” you asked softly. Joshua chuckled and shook his head. “Bill doesn’t have any siblings,” he answered.

“Why are you here?” you asked suddenly. “In this town. Why are you here?”

Joshua tilted his head. “Do you remember the night Bill passed away?” he asked, nodding when you shook your head. “It was a couple days before Halloween,” Joshua started to explain. “A couple of teenagers were out at the old covered bridge messing around with a ouija board.”

You listened as he told the story of the teens and how they inadvertently summoned him, bringing him to the town. That night, after they summoned the demon, they ran, leaving behind the Ouija board. Bill was driving home from the shop and had to cross that old wooden bridge.

As he started to cross, Joshua explained how he appeared, causing Bill to swerve and plow through the side of the bridge and down into the ditch below. It wasn’t full but because there had been a lot of rain the past few nights, the ditch had been flooded more than usual and because Bill’s car landed upside down, he drowned.

As Joshua finished his tale, you covered your mouth in shock.

“And that little figure you took home,” he continued. “Why would I give you a random gift like that?” he asked. “I wanted you to have it. I wanted you to find the incantation. I wanted you to say it, knowing you were curious and had a proclivity for reading out random words you see,” he added.

Everything he was saying so far added up. Your dreams about him, your fantasies, your attraction, everything was caused by him. “Why did you need an incantation?” you asked suddenly, looking up to meet his gaze. “I wanted you before that.”

Joshua shook his head. “I’m a demon,” he explained. “I have rules and rituals to abide by.”

The realization dawned on you.

“That’s why you stopped the other night,” you said softly as it all fell into place. “Because you can’t just have sex with whoever you want?” Joshua nodded. “There has to be a binding incantation,” he explained. “Which is what you read off tonight.”

You swallowed thickly. “Which means…”

You felt one of his hands moved to your hip. “Which means, we have to have sex,” you continued.

Joshua nodded, leaning in and nuzzling your cheek. “Exactly,” he said in a low, husky voice. “But if we have sex,” you said suddenly, placing a hand on his chest and pushing him back. “Doesn’t that mean you have to leave?”

Joshua tilted his head questioningly. “Why would I leave?” he asked softly.

“When I have a shop to run.”

Without letting you say another word, Joshua took your lips in a searing kiss, his free hand moving up your back and pulling you into him. “I said that incantation binds me to you,” he murmured, lips ghosting over your skin. “I never said anything about having to leave. I’m bound to you now.”

Your knees almost buckled as you felt his teeth graze against the skin of your neck. “I’m yours,” he whispered, his breath hot against your skin. “And after tonight,” he continued, trailing kissing back up until his lips were against your ear. “You’ll be mine.”

You pulled him in for a heated kiss, leaning against the counter as one of your legs moved to wrap around his waist. Joshua leaned into the kiss, parting your lips and sliding his hot tongue into your mouth, muffling your moans.

You whined as he pulled away, slowly kissing down your neck to your collar before taking the hem of the shirt you were currently wearing and tugging it up, pulling the shirt off over your head. “Good girl,” he murmured, taking in your topless form.

His hands were back on you in a second, lips trailing kisses down your collar and between your breasts. As he lowered himself to his knees, he made quick work of the shorts you were wearing, pulling them along with your panties down your legs before taking one of your thighs and lifting it over his shoulder.

You watched as he planted light kisses along the inside of your thigh, stopping just short of your aching heat. One of your hands braced yourself against the counter, the other moving down to tangle in his hair as he placed a kiss just above your clit before shifting between your thighs, pushing them further apart.

Your head fell back as you slipped to rest your forearm against the counter again as you felt Joshua’s tongue glide through your folds, brushing your clit lightly. Light teasing licks turned into heavy laps until he pulled back, his chin already covered in your essence. “Bed,” was the only word he uttered.

You were there faster than you could process, your head spinning with arousal as you leaned back against the sheets. Joshua had stripped himself of his shirt in the short distance from the kitchen to the bed and was lowering himself to kneel as you parted your thighs.

He fell onto the mattress, arms wrapping around your thighs and pulling your pussy closer to his face.

You moaned, head falling into the pillows as you felt his tongue back on your clit. He teased and toyed with the bud, not really falling into a rhythm. Instead he was merely taking his time and learning your body. Twice you felt the tip of his tongue dip down to your hole, pushing into it as his nose bumped against your clit. You felt the vibration of his groans against your sex, your walls tightening around the end of his tongue.

Just when you thought he was going to pull away, it was as if his tongue grew, entering you fully and filling your cunt. “Oh shit,” you cursed, fingers tightening in his hair as your free hand gripped the sheets beneath you tightly.

He only pushed his tongue into you a few times before pulling back. You raised your head wearily to see him licking his lips. “Already so fucked out?” he asked with a chuckle. He didn’t give you the opportunity to respond as he pushed two fingers into your cunt, watching your face as your lips parted in a silent moan.

Your eyes rolled back as he started to slowly pump his fingers in and out of you.

“That’s it,” he cooed as he curled his fingers, brushing against the soft spongy spot that had your toes curling. “You like that?” he asked, mildly amused by the response you were giving him despite him doing the bare minimum. “Yes!” you gasped as he continued to finger you. “F-fuck!” you swore. “Don’t stop!”

Joshua continued to watch your face as you writhed in pleasure under him. “Like that?” he asked, angling his hand so his fingers reached even further. “Yes! J-just like that!” Joshua leaned down, lips moving against yours, a mix of tongues, spit, and moans but you weren’t sure whose moans they were.

Joshua pulled away, keeping his eyes on your face as he sped up the pace. “Just like that?”

You nodded quickly, your body starting to shake as your orgasm approached but before it could crash over you, Joshua withdrew his hand. You whined at the loss of contact, making Joshua chuckle. “You’re falling asleep,” he noted. You pouted at him. “Don’t care,” you murmured.

Joshua tilted his head curiously. “Are you giving me permission to fuck you while you’re sleeping?” he asked. You nodded. It felt too good and you were so close you’d do just about anything to cum. “Yes,” you answered. “Feels s’good.”

Joshua chuckled against your skin, leaving feathery kisses against your cheek. “As you wish,” he said softly, gently rolling you onto your stomach. You felt his hands push your thighs apart and shuddered as you felt something hot and wet against your hole.

You assumed it was his tongue until it pushed into your cunt and you groaned into the pillows. It was most certainly not his tongue. “Wh-what’s that?” you murmured. You felt one of Joshua’s hands caress your cheek. “Shh, angel,” he said softly and you almost laughed at the irony of it.

A demon calling you angel.

You tried to lift your head to look back but it was too dark. “It’s okay,” you heard him purr in your ear. “Just go to sleep,” he added.

Your cheek fell back against the sheets as sleep started to take over your form. You felt whatever was inside you probing around and a sudden thought hit you. “Is that a tentacle?” you murmured, your voice partially muffled. Joshua chuckled, again in your ear as he leaned over you. “Yes,” he answered.

“It is.”

That snapped you awake. “Hng,” you grunted as the tentacle started to thrust in and out of you. “W-wait a second,” you whined. “I thought you…” you trailed off as Joshua halted his movement. “What’s wrong, baby?” he whispered. “I wanted your…” your words failed you again.

“You have to use complete sentences,” Joshua cooed in your ear. “I wanted your cock,” you finally whined. Joshua chuckled, the tentacle in you starting to slowly thrust. “Don’t worry sweetheart,” he replied. “You’ll get that, too.”

Your cheeks burned as the tentacle continued to pump into your pussy, gently bumping your cervix with each thrust. You felt another warm wet appendage against your ass and tried to reach behind you but Joshua managed to catch both hands and pin them to the bed.

“Shhh,” he murmured. “Just relax for me. Can you do that, angel?”

You moaned into the sheets as the second tentacle pushed into your ass, carefully stretching you open. Your fingers gripped the sheets tightly as the tentacle stopped, settling in your ass as the one in your pussy continued to move. The sensation was unlike anything you’d ever felt before.

“That’s my good girl,” Joshua whispered into your ear as the tentacle in your ass slowly started to move, setting an asynchronous pace to the first tentacle and soon both were thrusting into you. It wasn’t enough to build up an orgasm but it was enough to drive you insane.

You wanted more. You needed more.

You moaned into the pillows as the tentacles increased speed. “That’s it baby,” Joshua cooed. “You’re doing so well for me.” You were aware that the sheets were no doubt covered in your arousal and that a mess was being created between your thighs.

Joshua didn’t seem to mind. Without another word, the tentacles withdrew leaving you feeling empty. You let out a tiny yelp as Joshua wrapped an arm around your hips, pulling your ass up before taking one of the pillows and tucking it under your raised hips.

You moaned as he ran his hands over your ass, crying out when you felt him land a blow against the skin. He repeated this again, rubbing his hand over the spot each time. “Of course,” he murmured, more to himself than anything else. “Of course you’d like that, you little slut.”

You moaned at the degrading name, whimpering when you felt him push two fingers into your heat again. “I supposed you’re ready,” he added. Your body burned in anticipation as you felt the bed move. You had neither the energy or will to look and see what was happening but it didn’t matter.

As quickly as Joshua disappeared, he was back, kneeling behind you and spreading your cheeks with his hands. “Such a pretty little pussy,” he growled. “And it’s all mine.”

You moaned in response as he spit onto your waiting hole. The next thing you felt was the tip of his cock brushing against you. “I’m going to ruin this little pussy,” he growled in your ear. “Make it so mine is the only cock you can take.”

You whimpered as you felt his teeth dig into your shoulder before he straightened back up. You felt the head of his cock as it pushed slowly into you and suddenly, you knew why he prepped you with the tentacles beforehand.

Inch by inch, Joshua slid into you. Your body shook as your cunt stretched to accommodate his girth. As he bottomed out, you shuddered, walls clenching and unclenching around him. “So warm,” he breathed. “M’gonna wreck you,” he added, taking your hips in both hands before slowly drawing his cock out until just the tip was still inside you.

Without warning, he snapped his hips forward, making you scream into the pillows as he pushed all of his cock into you at once. The first few thrusts were the hardest but as he fell into a steady rhythm, the stinging pain was replaced with a dull ache. You could already feel your juices starting to roll down your thighs, no doubt mixed with sweat as Joshua pounded into you from behind.

You could feel the tip of his cock hit your cervix with each stroke. You cried out as he slammed into you.

He hovered over you, one hand on the mattress next to you and the other holding your hip. “You take cock so well, baby,” he growled. “It’s like you were made for this.”

You moaned loudly, tears and spit staining the pillow your face was currently buried in. Joshua grabbed the pillow and tossed it aside. “I want to hear you,” he rasped, hips hitting your ass as he thrust into you. “Wanna hear you scream for me and I split you open.”

Your cries filled the room with each slam of his hips, the sound of skin hitting skin the only other sound to be heard. Your fingers dug into the sheets, trying to ground yourself from the onslaught of his hips. “Mine,” you heard him growl. It was almost animalistic. As if to seal his claim, you cried out as you felt his teeth sink into your shoulder. The stinging pain of your shoulder combined with the feeling of his cock repeatedly dragging against your walls raw sent you over the edge and you came with a whimper, falling limp as he continued to fuck you.

More tears spilled as Joshua moved, his hips never faltering. “M’gonna fuck you so good,” he grunted. “Fuck you like you deserve. Fuck you until you’re full of nothing but my cum. Turn you into my own cum dumpster like the good little slut are.”

The sound of his almost angelic voice saying all those dirty things had your mind reeling as your second orgasm built up quickly, a low, deep moan escaping you as you came for a second time. “Such a good little girl,” he chuckled. His chest pressed against your back as he buried his cock fully inside you, pinning you to the mattress.

“You want that? You want me to fill you up? You want me to breed you?”

You moaned, hips pushing back against him, urging him to move again.

When he did it was fast and unforgiving. His thrusts were erratic. “Fuck,” he growled, his voice hitting a low you didn’t think possible. “Stay down,” he added, pinning you to the mattress as he pushed himself up with one hand. “Yeah,” he continued when you obeyed him. “Just like that.”

You felt his cock twitch and throb in your pussy, your walls fluttering around him as another orgasm washed over you. You’d lost count at this point how many you had but Joshua was nearing his own and you were left at his mercy as he chased his high, hips slamming into you as he growled and cursed in a language you didn’t understand.

As he finally started to come undone, he thrust once, twice, thrice more before burying his cock deep in your walls as he came, teeth sinking into your skin once more, marking you as thick ropes of his hot cum painted your walls and filled your cunt until it started to spill out.

You panted, breathing heavily against the sheets, ignoring the drool on your chin. Joshua shuddered as the last of his cum spilled into you. He let out one final groan before stilling completely. Your eyes fluttered shut as you heard him whisper into your ear but what he said you weren’t sure.

Everything faded to black.

You woke with a start and opened your eyes, sunlight filtering into your room and blinding you.

You groaned as you tried to roll over but your limbs were heavy and sore. It took more strength than usual to roll over. As you did, you caught sight of the alarm clock next to your bed but something was wrong.

It was on the opposite side. You lifted your head and stared at the alarm clock. The red numbers told you that it was just after nine in the morning. That was when you noticed the wall. It wasn’t your wall. You started to push yourself up, peering down at the sheets. They weren’t your sheets.

Just where the hell were you?

You sat up and looked around. This wasn’t your place.

Your gaze continued over the familiar surroundings but it wasn’t until it landed on a figure in the kitchen that everything clicked.

He smiled as he walked over carrying two plates and a mug of coffee.

You watched as he sat on the edge of bed, setting the coffee on the side table next to you before setting one of the plates in your lap. “Morning,” he said cheerfully, leaning in to kiss your cheek. “You seemed pretty tired last night,” he added. “So I let you sleep in.”

You looked around as you tried to process what waking up at his place meant. Did you two…?

Memories from the night before flashed before your eyes.

The demon in your room, showing up at Joshua’s place, the sex. You raised a hand up to your mouth as you realized what actually happened last night. You looked over at Joshua as he ate his own plate of pancakes. “Did we…?” you whispered looking up to meet his gaze. His eyes, which were brown, momentarily flashed red, and you knew instantly.

“We did indeed, doll,” he answered, returning his gaze to his plate.

“And you’re…?” Joshua nodded, looking up. “Yep. I’m a demon,” he answered nonchalantly.

“But I’m your demon,” he added. Your cheeks burned as he smirked at you.

“So I was thinking,” he continued to speak.

“Maybe we could move in together.”

You stared at him as he spoke. “I mean, since we’re bound to each other for eternity now, it just makes sense, you know?”

Your heart hammered in your chest, blood pounding in your ears. ‘Move in together?’

“And if we live together, we can have sex like every night.”

‘For eternity?’

“It would be perfect. It’s stupid for us to be apart anyway.”

You looked down at your plate as your pulse sped up.

‘What the hell have I done?’

ⓘ Graphics made by me. Content and support banners made using a template by cafekitsune. I do not allow reposts, translations, or continuations of my works. All writing and graphics are ©️ kwanisms.

#svthub #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen smut #seventeen x reader #joshua hong #joshua hong scenarios #joshua hong imagines #joshua hong fanfic #joshua hong smut #joshua hong x reader

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valaenatargaryensdragon · 1 year

Note

Can you please write a sequel to the au where the greens win and Aemond forcibly married his niece where one of their children accuses him of making their mother sad which makes him realise that he has become like his father.

A/N: I hope you like it!

pairing: Dark!Aemond x Niece!reader

summary: sequel to the au where the greens win and Aemond forcibly married his niece where one of their children accuses him of making their mother sad which makes him realise that he has become like his father.

Word count: 1,2K

Warnings: Angst

Masterlist 1

Masterlist 2

"Daddy, why is mommy locked in her room?" Your youngest, Helaera asked innocently. Gaelys, your eldest snapped his head up to look at his father. watching his facial expression, he was never brace enough to ask such a question.

"Whatever do you mean, sweet one? Do you not see your mother in the gardens and during banquets?" Aemond chuckled picking her up to sit on his lap. Your sewing by then had paused, but still you did not dare look up from the tablecloth you were busying yourself with as of lately.

"Yes but otherwise she is locked in her room" She began playing with the buttons on his shirt pouting sadly. Gaelys moved to sit by your side now. He reached over to take your hand in his, you were trembling.

"Darling, your mother made many mistakes and must be punished for them" Aemond kissed her forehead. Her frown deepened and she wiggled out of his arms. She wobbled over to you on her chubby legs, reaching for you to pick her up.

"Come here, love" You put the tablecloth to the side with a smile trying to act as if you did not hear her questions. She giggled as you moved her to sit on your lap.

"Poor mommy, always being punished" she whispered snuggling into your bosom for comfort. Gaelys could not hold himself back, he was about to burst. He stood up from the couch and approached his father with a fire Aemond only saw in dragons.

"You once told us that grandsire Viserys was a horrible man, that he married our grandmother when she was much younger than him and that he never loved her-" Gaelys began. You gasped shocked at his snappy tone. You feared that Aemond would punish him like he did to you for so many years.

"-but you treat mother worse. You lock her up like some animal and only let her out for show. You use your authority on her as if she was some servant, no servants get treated better than her" Gaelys was panting by the end, from anger or loss of breath you did not know. You held your breath awaiting Aemond's outburst, tightening your hold on Helaera fearing she will be also on the receiving end of Aemond's fury for bringing the subject up.

"Go to your room, Gaelys" Aemond ordered, his voice low and angry. Gaelys turned to you begging you with his eyes for you to let him stay.

"Yes and take Helaera with you" You wanted him out of here, you wanted both of them away for when Aemond would let his furry out on you and your body. He has done so before many times.

"Mother-" You cut him off with the famous motherly glare. He sighed but took Helaera from your arms before leaving with his head bowed. You waited for the outburst of yelling and smashing of things but it never came.

Instead Aemond pushed himself slowly from his chair, as if he was fearing scaring you. Still you flinched as he stepped closer making the guilt inside of him twitch like some knife lodged into his side. He crouched down in front of you slowly, his hands softly caressing your knees comforting you.

"Gaelys' words made me realise something" Aemond began softly. You dared to finally look up and into his eyes. All he could see was fear, you even feared looking in his direction. What has he done?

"I am worse than my father" Aemond chocked on his tears. One lone tear trickled down his cheek landing atop his pouty lips. His brows were furrowed at the confusion on your face, you did not believe him capable of caring or even showing the slightest bit of emotions.

"I have become what I hated most" Aemond leaned his head down on her knee. His voice sounded full of despair. You felt conflicted on what to do with him, what to say to him, You could only come with the words "It is okay"

"No tis not!" Aemond jumped to his feet again. He ran a hand through his usual well kept hair, ruining the perfect half up do. He pulled his eyepatch off feeling the leather irritate his skin with his tears.

"I have treated you horribly, the woman I have been in love with since I was ten!" Aemond paced with his hands in his hair, pulling trying to hurt himself. You sat back and watched him break down. Watched him relive every single moment with you, every time he forced himself on you or showed you a side of himself he himself hated.

"I fell for you ever since you defended me during Driftmark. I imagined you to become my wife ever since then. When I learned the ways of the flesh at ten and three it was you I imagined ever since when I touched myself. Ever since I began reading poetry it was with you in mind" He cried. You stood up from the chair approaching him like some scared child. He paused his pacing and faced you, trying to read your facial expression.

"I will not justify what you did nor will I say I forgive you Aemond, what you did is horrible but I will accept that it is from the past for the sake of Gaelys and Helaera" You spoke calmly. Always the collected one in your family. Aemond rubbed his face noticing that you kept your distance, you were disgusted by him and did not want to touch him.

"I will not however tolerate your behaviour any longer, I have had enough, yes Gaelys is right even the servants have a better life than I" You hissed, regaining some of your old fire, but not all, you were tired. You were beaten with no hope. Your hope was now in Gaelys, the heir to throne after Aegon who now had a burned cock and unable to have anymore children.

"I am ready to beg for your forgiveness, my love" Aemond whispered, taking a step closer to you. He placed his hands on your shoulders. You hated the sight of his tears streaming down his face, you sympathised with him, he went through so much from losing his eye to losing his sister but so did you, you lost your brothers and mother.

"I don't want you begging, I want my freedom, I want to have the right to walk around like everyone else not like some animal on a leash. I want to have the right to see my children whenever I want and most importantly I want to go home" You pushed him back. Aemond stumbled a couple of steps back shocked.

"Dragonstone? At once we will go there" Aemond nodded eager to please you, eager to get on your good graces again.

"No, you stay here like the lap dog you are but I will move with my children to Dragonstone" You shook your head coldly. Aemond hiccuped from shock and despair, it was like you grew heartless in a matter of minutes.

"What about me?" He whimpered. He stepped closer to you but you pulled away before eh could touch.

"You stay with your green family and lick the ground they walk on. My children are Targaryens and they will be raised as such with their black and red flag on their castle"

#aemond imagine #aemond fic #aemond fanfiction #house of the dragon aemond #aemond targaryen #aemond x reader #aemond x fem!reader #aemond x y/n #aemond x you #hotd aemond #house of the dragon imagine #house targaryen #house of the dragon #hotd x reader #hotd #hotd imagine

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yayakoishii · 4 months

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Can I request sanji and reader being childhood friends and meeting again years later (and sparks fly obviously)… Maybe reader was told Sanji was dead after he ran away from Germa so seeing him is absolutely crazy for them. Ideally reader ends up joining the straw hats? No worries if you don’t pick this one but I thought it’d be cute!!

Gone | Sanji x Reader

Fandom: One Piece

Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x GN! Reader

Word Count: 2.8k

Tags: Light angst, fluff? Spoilers for Wholecake Island

A/n: First off, thank you for the request!! I tried my best to write it the way you wanted but I ended up having to slightly tweak the reader's role since it would have been impossible for Sanji to have a friend in his Germa days. I hope you don't mind! If this wasn't quite what you wanted, feel free to send in another request. I hope you enjoy ♡

also available on ao3!

Everybody in Germa 66 sang praises of the three princes. If asked to pick a favourite, they would all probably say either of Ichiji, Niji or Yonji's names. Not you though.

At 6 years old, you had firmly decided to yourself that your favourite prince was Sanji. Yeah, he wasn't as strong as the other three, but he was kind and sweet and most importantly, he was your friend. Well, your secret friend. After all, he was royalty and royalty wasn't supposed to lower themselves to your level.

Being the child of a nurse in Germa, you had been programmed to be born as fearless and unquestioningly loyal to the Vinsmoke family. Except, for some reason, it hadn't worked on you and you had turned out to be normal. At that young age, you didn't really know it, of course. But you could sense that you were different from the rest.

When you saw soldiers easily stepping in to let themselves be killed just on one word from a Vinsmoke, it made you flinch and it made you scared. You hid your fear from everyone except for Her Majesty, Vinsmoke Sora. Your job at that young age was just to look after, entertain and distract her. (The adults didn't tell you that you were supposed to be distracting her from her actual children.)

That's where you had met Sanji. He was the only prince who visited her. You didn't really understand much at that age but you couldn't get how any child could stay away from their own mom for so long. It made you dislike the other three.

"(Y/n), can you treat His Highness' wound like I had taught you?" Your mother asked you as she helped Queen Sora to lie down. Beside her bed, Sanji was standing with a scratched knee. He had slipped on a puddle on the way to Sora. You nodded excitedly and bowed to Sanji clumsily, like your father had shown you.

"Come with me, Your Highness!"

Sanji and you had sat on one of the couches in the room and you slowly worked on disinfecting the wound and putting on the medicine. The said boy was sniffling, which made you look up curiously. Everyone said the princes were supposed to be strong and that they never showed any fear or even cried.

"Am I hurting you?" You asked worriedly, trying to be even gentler. You were just waving the cotton in the air now, instead of actually touching him with it. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying!" Sanji immediately stopped sniffling, looking slightly alarmed. You could tell that he was scared– just like you! It excited you and you nodded enthusiastically.

"No, you would never cry, Your Highness, of course not!" You tried to wink at him but ended up blinking. Sanji stared at you, a little confused and fascinated, then nodded quietly. "What did you make for Her Majesty today?"

He startled at your question then said shyly, "I tried curry rice today, with an omelette."

"Ooh, did you get it to spill over the rice?!" You asked excitedly as you finished placing your personal favourite band-aid on his knee.

"It failed," he pouted. Before you could try to cheer him up, Sanji noticed the band-aid. "What is this?"

"It's my favourite Kakuma band-aids," you whispered, leaning in so that only he heard it. Sanji blinked at you unsurely before looking back down at the band-aids with a cute bear pattern on it.

"Who's Kakuma?" He asked, feeling foolish. You launched into a big explanation of your favourite show, Kakuma the Bear of Justice. The adults in the room let you two stay like that and that afternoon, you and Sanji became friends. When it was time for him to leave, he had asked you to not call him ‘Your Highness’ because now you were his (secret) friend.

"But I can't do that," you pouted, clasping your hands behind your back. "I am not allowed to call you by your name. But, I am allowed to call you my prince. Would that be okay?"

6-year old Sanji had flushed at the sweet way you called him your prince. He liked the sound of it. He didn't really understand why, but you were now his first friend and you smiled at him and told him about your favourite show and you even told him secret cooking tips that you had sneaked out of your mother to help him cook a perfect omelette with soft gooey insides.

From that day on, whenever Sanji visited his mom, he would also give you some of his food to try. It sometimes tasted horrible and was even inedible at others, but you would always take at least one bite and praise his efforts. You found him very cool for even trying to make all those difficult recipes– your mom wouldn't even let you enter the kitchen.

The two of you were each other's closest and only friend, so the day King Judge announced the death of Sanji at sea, your 7 year old heart broke for the first time in your whole life. Not long after, Queen Sora passed away too.

When you were 8, your father was called as a Wall by Judge and died. Within the span of a year, you had lost all the closest people to you and then came the attack on Cozia. Your mother and a few other nurses got attacked in the scuffle and she had pushed you, telling you to run far away from the battleships of Germa.

That was the last you ever heard of the only remaining loved one you had.

•

It had been 11 years since then. You were no longer the kid you once were. You had ended up lost in the East Blue, worked your way into a pirate ship as a apprentice. The crew managed to make it into the Grand Line when you were 13, but ended up stranding you on an island after an attack killed off most of them, including the captain.

You had hopped around islands over the years, exploring and picking up jobs or working in crews or delivery ships to travel as many islands as you could. Now, you were currently living on a small island that was a few islands away from Marie Geosie. You had contemplated it but, it would be foolish to try to enter the New World without a really strong pirate crew who could possibly survive it. Having made peace with that, you had settled into a small rural town where you worked in a bar at night and taught children how to fight in the day.

Being a small island where the log pose reset within 3 hours, not many pirates or marines ever came by or stayed long enough if they did come. It was the perfect place for a peaceful life– a rare occurence on the Grand Line, in your opinion. So you had taken the chance and established yourself within the community smoothly.

There were rumours going around, though. Of a new generation of pirates that were slowly making their way through the first half of the Grand Line. You had heard some names in passing but didn't really keep up with the news much until that one fateful day. The Straw Hat pirates had docked on the island at sunset and the news spread like wildfire. It was the most interesting thing to happen in a long while and there was a strange tension in the air.

There was also another small crew that had arrived just before them so there was a possibility that the two might clash. You hoped that there would be no fighting for the sake of your simple town. You were at your workplace, serving drinks and food to the customers, most of whom were people from your town or the surrounding ones. There were some unfamiliar faces as well, which you guessed were the new pirates.

You worked while keeping an eye on the ones who gave you a bad feeling. Just towards the end of your shift, you suddenly saw one of the pirates try to grope your co-worker. Within a flash, you were next to her side, standing in between the lecherous pirate and her cowering figure.

In a small town like yours, people were more fiercely protective. While in any other place the girl would have been told to tolerate it, that was not the case in your town. And you were free to defend them and drive the customer out in such a case.

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave," your voice was cold as you shot him a murderous look. The pirate could sense that you weren't joking with your skills and got out of his seat. You turned around to hold the girl by her shoulders and looked over her to ensure he hadn't hurt her without you knowing. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

"No, I'm alri–"

You were distracted by her answer and felt the pirate swinging at you a little late. Despite ducking, his sword still nicked the side of your neck. You hissed and whirled around, ready to beat the shit out of him when instead, a leg on fire smashed the pirate down so hard that the wooden flooring broke under the pressure. You winced a little at how the splinters pierced him but you were distracted by the owner of the leg which was no longer on fire.

"Getting handsy with a lady and then attacking from behind?" You jolted in shock at the sight of the man. That blonde hair… those curly eyebrows… No way. He was sneering at the man with disgust, a put-out cigarette in his left hand. The man on the floor groaned lightly; he was probably experiencing a concussion. The blonde man looked up at you with concern. "Your neck is bleeding."

"Oh," you automatically covered the wound, feeling the wet, sticky liquid dirty your fingers. You had nearly forgotten about it in the shock of seeing your childhood friend after so many years. He was alive? After all this time?

"Hey, you should go treat it," the co-worker you had saved spoke hurriedly. "I'll take care of things here."

"You sure?" You asked, eyebrows furrowed. Your brain was still frozen from the shock but your body was already moving on auto-pilot.

"Yeah, go quickly before you lose any more blood," she insisted, guiding you to the backdoor. You heard footsteps follow you.

"Wait," the blonde man– Sanji? –said from behind. "I, would you like some help with that?"

You could do it by yourself. You always dress your wounds by yourself. But instead of declining it like usual, you flashed him a smile and said, "I would like that."

Your co-worker seemed surprised by your words too and decided to leave you alone for now. You took the Sanji-look-alike with you to the backroom where your first aid kit was in the bag. For once, you were grateful that you always lugged the thing around; you actually had it on you for the kids you taught. The two of you settled down on the bench and the blonde carefully picked up the necessary medicines.

You just stared at his face, drinking in his features. It felt a lot like a dream. Sanji was supposed to have died. And yet this man in front of you bore such a striking resemblance to him. You had never seen curly eyebrows like this outside of the Vinsmoke family. But there was no way that Germa would let Sanji go, surely?

"Thank you for taking care of that scum," you said, eyes flitting all over the blonde's face. The more you looked, the more you saw your friend in him. Even in the dim light of the backroom, you could still recognise the bright blue eyes. "I could have taken him on if I wasn't distracted."

"I can sense that," Sanji smiled at your wound as he cleaned it up. He wouldn't meet your eyes for some reason but you watched him with half-lidded eyes. His touch was gentle and his fingers felt weirdly cool on your skin. It sent shivers down your back. You were reminded of that day when you had dressed Sanji's tiny injury. Funny how your roles were swapped now. "This might sound a little weird but, you really remind me of someone important to me."

Your breath hitched and you automatically teased, "Bet you say that to all the girls."

He laughed and finally looked you in the eye, "I could never. That person is too far away. I will never meet them again in this life."

He stared down forlornly at your first-aid kit. You followed his look to the plain band-aids in the corner of your box. A smile played on your lips.

"I couldn't find any Kakuma ones here," you said quietly. Sanji froze, wide eyes running all over your face. "Turns out Kakuma isn't very popular outside of North Blue."

"You…" Sanji suddenly grabbed you by your shoulders and you flushed at the close proximity. This Sanji was different from the cute boy you once knew. He was now handsome, but still just as cool. "(Y/n)..?"

"I feel like I'm dreaming, my prince," you admitted, smiling weakly. You placed your hand lightly on his right cheek, brushing the cheek faintly as if you were worried he would disappear with a touch. "They said you died in a shipwreck. Am I just missing you so much that I'm starting to see you on the Grand Line?"

"It feels like a dream to me too," he sounded a little broken. Your fingers pressed into the smooth skin and, it felt too real to be a dream. He was really sitting across from you. "How did you end up here?"

You sat there quietly for a few seconds, remembering the worst days of your life when you lost all your loved ones one after the other. You had kept that bottled up all these years.

"Let me change and I'll tell you everything when we're out of here."

Sanji nodded and slinked out the backdoor while you hurriedly changed, packed up and joined him. You decided to take him down the shore as you spoke about all that had happened ever since his death was announced. He told you about what happened to him the whole time, about the imprisonment, the actual shipwreck, the Baratie and the Straw Hat pirates. Both of you talked and listened for so long, the moon was up high when you finally stopped walking.

The sea was gently crashing onto the shore. Your bare feet dug into the dry sand from a distance as you stared at the horizon.

"So," you hesitated. "What now?"

"Now…" Sanji trailed off as he turned his head to face you. "Do you want to come join us?"

You hadn't expected that. Snapping your neck towards him, you stared with wide disbelieving eyes.

"Shouldn't you ask your captain first?" You asked nervously. The idea of being by Sanji's side for the rest of your life made your heart beat faster. He was different from the boy you once knew but the past few hours had only made you realise that this new Sanji was still the kind and sweet boy beneath all his differences.

"I'll convince Luffy," he said. You realised he was just as nervous as you felt. "I'm sure he won't mind."

"Oh," you looked away and back at the horizon. The part of you that still craved adventure was all in support of the idea. The other practical side of you wondered if you could just up and leave your life here. (Everyone would understand, wouldn't they?) "I spent so much of my life thinking you were gone, Sanji. Thinking that I had lost you forever. Thinking that I would never meet you again."

Sanji didn't reply, just slipped his left hand into yours. He squeezed it gently, as a reminder that he was here now. That he wanted to have you by his side from now on.

"I don't want to let you go ever again."

Your admission earned you a soft smile from the cook. He fully turned his body to face yours and you did the same. Leaning down, he pressed a soft kiss on your forehead that sent your heart jackrabbiting.

"I don't plan to either," he whispered.

With those simple words, all your inhibitions were gone.

"Then take me with you, my prince."

You pulled him into a hug for the first time in your life. You were no longer a prince and a servant. No longer quite the friends you once were. But it seemed like you two were on the path to becoming something else entirely.

A something else that you both looked forward to.

°•❀•°

A/n: I feel like Sanji would treat you very differently if you were his childhood friend. He would be so much more serious than his usual perverted facade because you already know him at his lowest point. Also, Kakuma is a made up cartoon character. I took the name from the Japanese verb Kakumau, which means to shelter/hide/protect—something I really wanted to do for kid Sanji :(

All likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! ♡

★ Taglist:

if anyone wants to added or removed, let me know!

#one piece #one piece fanfiction #vinsmoke sanji #vinsmoke sanji x reader #vinsmoke sanji x you #sanji x reader #sanji x you #black leg sanji #one piece sanji #sanji fanfic #gender neutral reader #female reader #male reader #childhood friends #open ending #light angst #fluff #request

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winchesterwild78 · 2 months

Text

The Ranch

Master List

Characters: Jensen-cowboy, single dad, x Reader-city girl moved to country to get away from it all

Warnings: language, angst, mention of death.

A/N: A short little story featuring our favorite green eyed cowboy, not an actor in this, lives on a ranch in Texas, is a widower with 3 kids. Reader is a city girl who moves to the country to get away from her ex and start a new life. She takes a job on the ranch and things develop between her and the cowboy. Internal dialogue in italics.

So much love and thanks to @cheynovak for the idea. ♥️ All work is my own. No disrespect to anyone, this is a work of fiction. Real names are used, but again this is a work of fiction. Sorry the 1st part is so long, just setting up the story. Do not take my work

Minors DNI 18+

“I already told you, we are through. I can’t keep doing this with you. I feel like I’m banging my head against the ceiling and anytime I talk to you about it, you tell me I’m overreacting or you ask me some bullshit like is it that time of the month. Who the fuck does that? I’m done, Alex.”

“Please, Y/N, don’t throw away 4 years over a little disagreement.” You scoffed, “A little disagreement?! Is that what you call it? No, fuck that. All I did was bring up marriage and you acted like I asked you to rob a bank or something. We’ve been together 4 years, we live together, was it really too much to ask when we might get married? I want to get married, have children. All the things you said you wanted too. I guess you lied just to get me to move in with you.”

You stormed into your bedroom, grabbed a suitcase and started packing. Grabbing clothes, toiletries and other important things and throwing them in the suitcase. You were beyond pissed. Alex walked in the bedroom, “Come on, you’re not really leaving. You’re just pissed and throwing a tantrum.” “Fuck you, Alex!”

Pushing past him you went into the living room and grabbed family pictures and stuffed them into your bag. You took the apartment key off your key ring and placed it on the counter. “I told you, I’m done.” You grabbed your stuff and walked out, closing the door behind you.

Loading up your car you just drove. You had no idea where you were going, but you needed to get away. After hours on the road, you pulled into a little diner that had a hotel near it. It wasn’t the biggest, fanciest hotel, but you were exhausted.

Climbing out of the car you went to the office of the hotel. Ringing the bell a sweet older lady came out and greeted you with a smile. “Howdy, young lady. Do you need a room?” “Yes, ma’am. If you have any available.” “Yes, darlin’ I have a few left. Is it just you?” “Yes, ma’am, it’s just me.” She had you fill out the guestbook and handed you the key. “Why don’t you head next door and grab a bite to eat. You looked starved.” She smiled sweetly at you. You nodded, thanked her and left.

You grabbed your bag and headed to your room. Unlocking the door you noticed it was a typical hotel room, but it was clean and looked well taken care of. You put your bag down and laid on the bed. It was so comfortable, you could just fall asleep right then.

Your stomach grumbled, so you decided to check out the diner. Grabbing your purse and jacket, you stepped outside and walked towards the diner. When you entered, a bell above the door rang and you were greeted by the waitress, “Howdy, just sit anywhere you’d like.” You nodded and took a seat in the booth near the back.

The waitress who greeted you walked over and smiled, “Hey hon, what can I get you to drink?” She asked as she handed you the menu. “I’ll have water with lemon, please.” “Sure thing, hon. Take your time and I’ll be back.” You looked over the menu and because you were so hungry everything looked so good. You decided on a burger and fries, just keeping it simple.

The waitress, Cindy, came back with your water, “Do you know what you want?” “Yes, ma’am, I’ll have a cheeseburger with fries please.” “Anything else?” “No, that’s it, thank you.” “Okay, coming right up.” She walked away and put in your order.

Everyone here seems so nice. It’s a nice place too. Out in the country, far away from the city, and away from Alex. I wonder if anyone here is hiring.

“Excuse me, Cindy?” Cindy walked over to you, “Yes, honey, do you need anything?” “Yeah, I’m new to the area, kinda relocating here. Do you know anyone that’s hiring or anyone that has a room to rent?” “Well, the only person I know of off the top of my head that’s hiring is Ackles’ Ranch. They have a live in ranch hand position they are trying to fill. Have you ever worked on a Ranch, honey?” “No, I haven’t, but I’m a fast learner.”

“I tell you what, I’ll give Jensen a call and tell him to be expecting you tomorrow morning. Maybe he would be willing to give you a trial basis.” “Oh my goodness, thank you so much.” “You’re welcome sweetie, now eat up.” She set your food down in front of you.

You ate your food, paid your bill and thanked her again. Cindy gave you the address and phone number for the Ranch and told you Jensen, Mr. Ackles was expecting you tomorrow morning. You took the information and thanked her again. Leaving the diner you went back to your room to shower and get ready for bed.

Excitement coarse through your body. Surely you could handle working on a Ranch, right? After your shower, you climbed into bed and fell asleep quickly. Before too long your alarm was waking you up. Turning it off you got out of bed and started to get dressed. You pulled on jeans, a t-shirt, and your boots. Grabbing the Ranch information, your purse and your keys, you headed to your car.

Your body tingled with anticipation as you drove towards the address. After about 30 minutes, your car pulled up to two large, wrought iron gates, one with a large “A” and the other with a large “R” on it. A small sign to the side said “Ackles Ranch”. You buzzed the call box and waited.

“Hello, can I help you?”, a voice came over the speaker. “Yes, hello, my name is Y/N, Cindy called Mr. Ackles and he’s expecting me.” “Okay, come on in.” The gates opened, and you drove up the long driveway.

Finally arriving at the main house, you were taken back by how beautiful it was. You parked your car and stepped out. As you turned to look around the beautiful land, you saw a man riding up to you on a horse. The horse was breathtaking, chestnut colored coat, well taken care of, and the rider was just as breathtaking. He hopped off and the first thing you noticed was his piercing green eyes.

The man walked over to you, his legs slightly bowed, but he was tall and broad shoulders. You bit your lip. His jeans hugged him in all the right places, and his shirt stretched across his chest like it was clinging on him for dear life. His biceps, large, peaked out the bottom of the sleeves. He had sandy brown hair, and a beard that was perfectly shaped. He was absolutely breathtaking.

The man extended his hand, “Good mornin’, my name is Jensen, you must be Y/N. Miss Cindy told me you’d be coming.” You shook his hand, “Yes, hi, I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you, Jensen.”

As soon as you shook his hand, 3 adorable children came bounding out of the house, “Daddy! You’re back!” He dropped to his knees and hugged the children. It melted your heart and made you smile. His son looked at you, “Daddy, who’s she?” Jensen looked up at you and introduced you to his children. “It’s so nice to meet you guys.” You smiled at them.

The kids went to play, as Jensen led you in the house to talk. During the conversation you learned he was a widower and he and his late wife had started the ranch when they got married. He has all sorts of animals, but the ones you would be in charge of the most were his children. You laughed when he said that. He smirked at you, thankful you had a sense of humor. “Now I’m gonna be honest with you, I need help around the ranch, but I also need help with the kids. Do you have any experience with either?” “Well, I grew up in the city, so I’m not too familiar with duties on a Ranch, but I did a lot of babysitting. When my mom would go away on business I would be responsible for my younger siblings. They are 8 and 9 years younger than me. I would feed them, get them to school, wash clothes and clean the house, while mom was gone. I might not know much about animal care, but I’m a fast learner.”

“Well, what about family, or a husband? Will they be okay with you living here with me and the kids? The position comes with a room too.” I haven’t lived at home for a few years, and I’m not married, no boyfriend either.” Jensen nodded, “well, Y/N, I’m willing to give you a shot, what do you think?” “I’d love to. I can’t promise I’ll be perfect, but I’m always willing to learn.” “That’s all I ask. Now, let me show you the Ranch and your room.”

The two of you stood up and you followed him outside. He jumped in a truck and told you to hop in. He drove to the biggest barn first and showed you the horses, then he drove to the smaller barns and you saw the other animals. The land was huge.

Jensen drove further back on the property to a huge lake. “This is our favorite spot. The kids love to swim here, but they know not to come near this without an adult.” “It’s beautiful, Jensen.” You smiled softly.

A little while later, you and Jensen arrived back at the house. He introduced you to the small staff in the house, and formally introduced you to his kids. They were excited you were staying. He took you on a tour of the house and showed you the kitchen, dining room, the kids’ rooms, his room, and the last room he stopped at was your new room.

He pushed the door open and stepped to the side, letting you walk in. You gasped softly. This room was practically bigger than your last apartment. “So you have your own private bathroom too. I hope this room is to your liking. If you find you need anything, let me know.” “Jensen, the room is perfect, you have an amazing home, thank you.” Jensen smiled softly and nodded, “I’ll let you get settled. Clif already brought your stuff up. Lunch will be ready in about half an hour. I hope you will join us.” You nodded, and he left.

You explored the room. There was a large walk-in closet, a king sized bed in the center of the room, with tables on either side, a matching dresser and chest. On the opposite wall you noticed two large glass doors. You walked over, unlocked them and stepped out on the balcony. You noticed two chairs. The view was breathtaking. It overlooked the backyard, and you noticed the kids outside playing. Jensen’s son looked up seeing you, smiled and waved. You smiled and waved back.

Stepping back into the room, you decided to unpack. Walking into the bathroom you looked around, not believing this was really your bathroom. It was just as beautiful as the bedroom. It featured a double vanity, a stand up shower with glass doors and a separate soaker tub. The floor was a beautiful tile that could be heated. You were in complete awe of this room.

You had finished unpacking and as you sat down on the bed your phone rang. Looking at the screen you saw it was Alex. You sighed and answered. “Hello, Alex.” “Y/N, baby, I’m sorry. Please come home. We can get married, have babies. Whatever you want.” You let out a long sigh, “Alex, it doesn’t work that way. You don’t want to get married and have children. You made that clear. I’ve waited and never pushed. You knew when we got together that’s what I wanted. We talked about it, and you said that’s what you wanted too.”

The line was silent, “Baby, I do want to get married and have kids. I just wanted to be selfish and keep you to myself for a while longer. I love you, Y/N. I don’t want to live without you.” Silent tears started falling from your eyes. You still loved Alex, he was the man you’d wanted to have children with, but he broke your heart. You took a breath, “I know you do Alex, but that’s still not enough. I need to go, I’m expected back at work. Good bye, Alex.”

You hung up and sat on the bed and cried. A soft knock on the door pulled you back to reality. You wiped your face and stood up, walking over you opened the door, and Jensen was standing there. His face instantly fell when he noticed you’d been crying. “Y/N, are you okay?” “Yeah, sorry. I'm just dealing with some personal stuff. I promise it won’t affect my job.” He placed his hand on your upper arm, “Hey, it’s okay. We all have things we have to deal with. I’m here if you need to talk.” His hand on your arm sent goosebumps all over your body. You took a deep breath, “Thank you, Jensen. I appreciate it.” You offered him a soft smile. “Okay, I came up here to let you know lunch was ready if you were hungry.” “Yeah, that sounds perfect.”

You followed Jensen to the dining room and found his children already eating. He motioned for you to sit down, he pulled your chair out and you sat down. Jensen took the seat at the head of the table, opposite of you. Lunch was filled with excited chatter, the kids asking you questions, trying to get to know you, and you answered them as quickly as they were asked.

Jensen spoke up, “Guys, let Y/N eat. You have plenty of time to get to know her. You three need to finish eating too. You have chores to finish.” Jensen’s son looked over at you, “Miss Y/N, do you have any kids?” Before you could answer Jensen spoke up, “Zep, what did I just say?” He looked at his father and hung his head. You softly touched Zep’s arm, “No, I don’t, but I’d like to have some one day.” You smiled at him and looked up at Jensen, who offered you a soft smile.

After lunch was done, the kids cleared their plates and you walked into the kitchen. You weren’t sure if your duties included washing the dishes, but it was something you were used to, so you filled the sink with water.

Jensen walked in the kitchen and saw you at the sink. He smiled to himself, and he felt his heart warm a little. “Hey, Y/N, you don’t have to wash those. I was about to do it.” You looked over at him, his piercing green eyes looking into your y/e/c eyes. Your breath hitched. “Well, how about I wash and you rinse.” You smiled at him, and he nodded.

There was a slightly uncomfortable silence that filled the room. Jensen cleared his throat, “I appreciate you answering the kids’ questions. They can be relentless. If you ever get uncomfortable with their questions, just tell them to chill.” “They are fine Jensen, kids are naturally curious, and I’m fine with sharing my life with them.” He nodded and smiled.

The two of you finished washing the dishes and he showed you where everything went. Once the kitchen was done, Jensen told you to feel free to explore and relax.

Deciding to just explore the house you walked into the family room and noticed all the pictures on the walls. You saw pictures of Jensen and the kids, pictures of other people, whom you assumed to be the rest of the family, and then you saw pictures of a young, beautiful woman. Her smile was bright and her eyes sparkled.

You realized this was Jensen’s wife. There were pictures of their wedding day, pictures of her holding the kids and family pictures of the 5 of them. You never asked Jensen what happened to his wife, you just knew she had died.

You were too busy looking at the pictures to notice Jensen standing in the doorway watching you. “Her name was Danneel, we called her Dee.” Jensen said as you picked up a picture of his wife. You jumped a little, “She’s beautiful.” You smiled at him.

“Yeah, she was beautiful, inside and out. We miss her so much, especially Zep. He was a mama’s boy.” “I’m so sorry, Jensen. If you don’t mind me asking, what happened?” Jensen sighed and you could hear the shake in his breath. “It was just a terrible accident. She was climbing a ladder, trying to put something up in the horse barn, she slipped, fell and hit her head. I was gone into town to get supplies and by the time I got home and found her, she was gone. The twins were 4 and JJ was 7.” You touched Jensen’s arm, “I am so sorry, Jensen. That sounds awful.” A tear slipped out of his eye, and he quickly wiped it away. “Thank you, Y/N. It’s been a rough few years, but every day it gets a little easier. I know the pain will never go away, and some days it’s harder than others, but she gave me 3 amazing children and for that I’m grateful.”

“They are great kids, and have an amazing father too.” You smiled at Jensen and sat on the couch. He took a seat beside you. The two of you sat and talked the rest of the afternoon, getting to know each other and you learned how he ended up on such a gorgeous ranch. “So, Y/N, what brings a city girl to the country, and if you don’t mind me asking, what made you so upset earlier?”

You bit your lip and took a deep breath. Figuring you needed to be honest with him. “Well, my ex Alex and I had been together for 4 years. When we first started dating we both wanted the same thing in the future, marriage and children. The past year I’d brought up marriage and kids a few times and it would always end in a huge fight. I just got tired of waiting and being strung along. So I left. I was upset earlier because he called me, begging me to come back. He said we could get married and have kids. I told him no. It broke my heart. I love him, and saw myself married to him and having his children. Now, it’s over, but I promise it won’t affect my job or ability to take care of your children.”

Jensen grabbed your hand, “I know it won’t. I’m sorry you went through that. For what it’s worth, he’s a fool.” Your eyes shot up to him and he smiled. A blush creeped across your face. No! Don’t you dare. He’s your boss, a widower, and has responsibilities. He’s just being polite and you just went through a breakup. “Thank you, Jensen.”

The rest of the day was uneventful. You played with the kids, and noticed Zep was glued to your side. He was such a sweet boy, and he looked just like Jensen. His sisters were just as sweet, JJ was excited to show you their favorite things to do outside, and Arrow was very reserved when it came to you. She definitely had some walls up. Not that you could blame her.

Later that night after the kids were tucked into bed, Jensen invited you out to the back deck to sit around the fire pit. Before you went outside, you grabbed a throw blanket and your water. As you opened the sliding glass door you noticed Jensen sitting with a glass of whiskey in his hand. The fire burning brightly and the flames casting dancing shadows on his face.

You stepped out and he stood. “Glad you decided to join me.” He smiled as he sat down. “Thanks for inviting me.” You sat down in the chair beside him. You watched as he took a sip of the amber liquid. As he took the small glass up to his mouth, you saw his lips part slightly, and the amber liquid ran into his mouth. You saw him swallow, and his Adam's apple bobbed as the liquid ran down his throat. As he pulled the glass away, you saw his tongue lick his lips slightly. He looked over at you and you quickly looked away.

He smirked as a blush creeped across your face. Jensen grabbed another glass and poured you some, “here, to help take the edge off.” You nodded and took the glass. Jensen lifted his glass to you, “To new beginnings.” He clinked your glass. “To new beginnings.”, you said back to him. You took a sip of the amber liquid and felt the burn down your throat.

*Jensen’s POV*

I can’t believe she accepted the invitation to join me out here tonight. She’s been so great with the kids today, and with me. I really think this is going to work out. She’s definitely guarded, but who can blame her. When she blushes it’s so adorable, especially when I catch her watching me. She’s a very beautiful woman too, and she is so sweet and kind. Damn, her lips on that glass, her tongue licking her lips. Wow! Oh, shit, Jensen, get it together. You’re her boss.

A few hours later, the fire was dying, and you were tired. “Well, Jensen, thank you for a wonderful evening, but I think I’m going to head to bed.” Jensen stood up, “Yeah, thank you for the company. It was nice to have an adult to talk to. Sleep well, Y/N, and if you need anything I’m right down the hall.” You thanked him again and walked in the house. As you entered the kitchen, you turned and looked at him again. He was still standing and ran his fingers through his hair. You sighed and climbed the stairs.

You went to your room, got ready for bed and crawled in the huge bed. Before too long you were drifting off to sleep. For the first time in a long time, you felt like you were exactly where you were supposed to be.

Part 2

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#hes gorgeous #so damn sexy #jensen ackles #jensen ackles x plus size reader #jackles #jensen ackles smut #jensen ackles x reader #cowboy jensen

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the--rebel--fae · 7 months

Note

May i have a platonic one shot between alastor x mother!reader? BUT MAKE IT ANGST

Like dude goes with vaggie and charlie to heaven sees his mom and shes horrified

Or it can be fluff if you want shes like overjoyed and moved to tears about seeing her baby boy again 😭 i apologize if this is weird i just need more of this man and his mom

A/n Hello my dear! No, it's not a weird request at all! I think it was actually quite sweet! Now, I hope you don't mind I did a mix of the two so hurt/comfort. Annnd Alastor might be a little ooc here, but I mean c'mon, he's seeing his mama for the first time in centuries. That'd make anyone soft. Anyhoot! On to the story!

Pairing: (Platonic) Alastor x Mom! reader

TW: None! Unless you count Hurt/comfort as a warning

Word Count: 802

Forever and Always

When Alastor asked to come with her and Vaggie to the meeting in heaven, to say she was uncertain was the understatement of the year. Hell, Vaggie was deadset against it. But Alastor was insistent. But it wasn’t his usual “Simply for entertainment!” excuse. He had this look on his face that was very un-Alastor-like. It was almost thoughtful to the point of seeming…hopeful or wistful.

But as she and Vaggie looked at the scene before them, both with surprised looks on their faces, it made sense. It even made Charlie believe that Alastor wasn't as cruel as he tried to put on.

“Al? I-is that really you, my boy?” You said as you slowly stepped forward. You just barely came out of Heaven’s grocery store when you saw a group of people being led by Sera and Emily. One you recognized as Lucifer’s daughter–the resemblance was uncanny. And another must be her partner, with how she looks at Lucifer’s daughter. But the third person is what caused your heart to skip a beat. Could it really be? After all a mother never forgets her children.

For once Alastor dropped his usual uncanny smile that everyone was used to for a much softer one. Even the usual radio static was nowhere to be found in his voice. “Hello, mother.” He said softly.

“Mother?!” Everyone in the group exclaimed.

“Now it makes sense why he wanted to come up with us Vaggie! Aww.” Charlie said.

Vaggie nodded but the stunned look never left her features. “Yea, I guess so.”

Sera cleared her throat. “Ehem, we’ll take our leave for now, but when you're done, just head straight to the building up ahead and the angel at the front desk will send for us. Come along, Emily.” She said as she gently pushed the now happily squealing seraphin forward.

You gave a nod of acknowledgment to Sera before coming to a stop in front of your son. You looked him over and felt tears prick in your eyes. “Oh Alastor, sweetie. You–you went to hell, didn’t you? And don’t you lie to me boy, I can see it plain as day with those clothes of yours.”

Alastor let out a sigh. He was looking forward to seeing his mother again, but this part? Not so much. “Not a thing could pass you, could it ma? Yes, I did indeed go to hell, but I can tell you I am thriving, why my radio broadcast is a complete hit down there!”

You let out a sigh of your own. You never would have thought that your precious boy would have ended up down there. You had a feeling in your gut that that might have been the case as the years went by and you didn’t see hide or hair of him up in heaven. “What could have you possibly done to end up in a place like that Alastor? I know I raised you better.”

Charlie and Vaggie both cringed at those words, he was definitely getting the old-fashioned parental scolding. But what they saw next, both Charlie and Vaggie wouldn’t have believed it if they didn’t see it for themselves.

Alastor was frowning.

Alastor looked down at the ground but then up at his mother’s face. He had to tell her. Maybe not all of it, but at least what started it all. Besides, who really wants to tell their beloved mother they became a serial killer? Not him. “I killed him, mother. I killed Father so he couldn’t hurt anyone ever again.” He met his mother's eyes practically begging her to understand. “I won’t apologize for it, he deserved it. For what he did to you, to us and he would have done it to multiple people that disgraceful–”

Before Alastor could finish his rant though he was cut off by the warmth of his mother's arms wrapped around him. His eyes widened in surprise. She was hugging him?

“I understand honey. Now I don’t approve of what you did and it saddens me you ended up down there, but no matter what I am your mother and I will always love you. Forever and always.”

Alastor felt his breath catch in his throat at his mother’s words. Forever and Always. That’s what they used to always say to each other back when he was alive. I will love you forever and always. He had to take a deep breath and shove any and all of his emotions back down to where they came from. He was still the Radio Demon for crying out loud! He had an image to keep.

But he did hug his mother back. Because in this moment he wasn’t the Radio Demon. He was just his mother’s son. “Thank you, Mother. I love you forever and always.”

Hope you enjoyed the story! I'm usually not the best at angst, but I feel like I did pretty well on this one! Plus it's always fun making a not-so-soft character actually have a heart hehe.

And if you guys want even more stories--like maybe your own personalized several-page long one-shots or even a multi-chap fic take a look at my Etsy Shop! I do commissions! I even have listings for Hazbin Hotel!

#alastor x reader #requests #hazbin hotel x reader #hurt/comfort #hazbin hotel season 1 #hazbin hotel spoilers #hazbin alastor #the rebel fae #alastor #commissions open

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anki-of-beleriand · 10 months

Text

Bad Liar ch.8

Summary: Life is about lessons, and Wanda has been learning some harsh facts that had define her life and taken her to a place in which she was given a second chance. Then, all of a sudden, she meets you, and she realizes why it's easier to lie to yourself than to accpet what's right in front of her.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff/ Female!reader - America/Kate - Mentions of past Vision/Wanda - past Natasha/Reader - Some Female!Reader/Carol Danvers

Warnings: Slow burn - slightly Enemies to friends to lovers - Mentions of abusive relationships - Toxic relationships - angst - drama - mentions of abuse - idiots in love - homophobia - more tags as the story progress.

Author's note: Here is a new chapter and Reader and Wanda are getting closer, Reader puts an end to her confusion and the past is at Rader's doorstep.

As always, English is no my mother tongue, so please forgive the grammar, spelling and funny mistakes!

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15 - Chapter 16 - Chapter 17 - Chapter 18

Chapter 8

Breaking the past

The sun had a way to sneak inside her room, the light rays of light projecting hues of colour with a welcoming warmth that soothed her to sleep again. The memories of childhood days spent in bed, trying to sleep in before being taken away from the comfort of her bed and made to be an avid participant in the house chores. Wanda fluttered her eyes open to see the time gleaming from the digital clock in her bedside table.

9 am.

She smiled knowing the twins must be asleep as well, Saturdays had become one her favourite days of the week. It was a time in which she could spend time with her children, she was able to read and to paint, to do all the things she had denied herself for too long. But that particular morning, her smile was brighter, and the fluttering butterflies at the pit of her stomach were a memory of your words the night before.

I was hoping you would come to my place and we could have lunch together.

Wanda felt a tug on her heart, she closed her eyes for a brief moment only to see your smile from the night before. She never imagined that spending time with you would result in her having so much time, or in you being a complete child while taking the kids with you to form a team during the game. She had seen a part of you that had melted away her heart and her resolution. Wanda turned to her back glancing at the ceiling with her heart speeding at the memory of the kiss you placed on her cheek.

But before she could delve even more in the memory, before she allowed the sweet, tortuous tingling in her body to travel down to her crotch, there was a knock on her door. Wanda sat almost right away, her eyes going big with anticipation, she spoke before she could stop herself with a voice heavy with sleep and confusion.

“Who is it?” Wanda winced, rolling her eyes at her own stupidity. She tried to stand up before the door was opened but it was late.

There standing by the door were the twins, they were holding one white rose in their hands and some superhero mugs with big smiles, behind them you were carrying a tray filled with eggs, bread, coffee and orange juice.

The world came to a halt.

Wanda observed the scene trembling like a leaf. Her breath caught on her throat, her eyes going from her children to you then back to them. She opened her mouth and closed it again, but there was nothing she could say without breaking up and giving into panic and tears.

“Hey, sorry, they called America, but she stayed over at Loki’s place and America called me and… Well, you were asleep, and they were hungry, and I thought that you may need the sleep and…”

The twins snickered entering the room slowly, the both of them offered the white rose to Wanda who took them with trembling hands. The look in her eyes cut off you babbling, and you regretted doing what you just did. You had overstepped quite foolishly, assuming whatever had happened last night was an open invitation to… to be a freaking stalker or something equally awful.

“Mommy, Y/N made pancakes like dinosaurs!”

“And we played, and helped her, and she let us pick the flowers!”

“Mommy, Y/N told us that we could watch the whole Jurassic Park movie on her TV, can we go?”

“You like the pretty flowers, Mommy?”

Wanda was bombarded by two hyperactive twins waiting patiently to Wanda

You kicked yourself for just barging in the other woman's home without even asking, for thinking that perhaps this was okay. You and Wanda were not friends. Or, were you?

Your trail of thoughts was cut short by a warm hand on yours. Wanda offered a trembling smile, she opened her mouth and then closed it again.

“I… I…”Wanda snorted, shaking her head. “You didn't have to do this.”

You tilted your head holding onto the tray, it was true you didn't have to do it. You did it because you wanted to, because you hadn't stopped thinking about Wanda. Because you woke up thinking you could have kissed her the night before.

“I just… I'm shocked, I've never had breakfast in bed.” She said, trying to ease out the uncomfortable silence in the room.

“Never?” You asked incredulously, Wanda shook her head and just as you were to say something else Billy came forward speaking loudly.

“Daddy said mommies didn't deserve breakfast and they should be serving us.” Billy made up a face sulking a little. “But Balder told us that his dad serves breakfast to his mommy… Because he loves her…”

Tommy placed his hand on his chin, pursing his lips while glancing up at where you were standing frozen in place after such a revelation.

“Do you love mommy?” Tommy finally asked, and it was his question what broke the uncomfortable tension in the room.

Your face turned in a mask of reds and disbelief, while Wanda was just as mortified as you. The twins, blissfully ignorant of what they had just done, went back to crawl inside Wanda's bed and turned the TV on.

Wanda was afraid to lift her gaze and discover disgust in your face, perhaps to find you looking at her as if Vision had been right all along. You don't deserve to eat, dear, last night I wasn't satisfied as I should be and you have to make it up to me today.

You cleared your throat stepping closer with a grin in place. Your eyes gleamed warmly, tilting your head to catch those green irises in yours.

“Well, boys, mommies deserve breakfast in bed every single day of the week.” You declared casually. “You guys love your mommy, right?”

Wanda's heart shrank with emotion when the twins exclaimed a loud yes, you were now dangerously close to her.

“Then, it is obvious that she needs her breakfast.” You cleared your throat once more and this time around Wanda did look up to see you before her. “Let me make sure you have your first warm breakfast in bed, Wands.”

For a brief moment, you and Wanda stared into one another's eyes without any need to break into explanations. You were not asking for them, and Wanda was too afraid to say something and scared you away. The young woman fixed her position in bed, and you soon placed the trail on her lap. You offered a quick smile nodding to the twins and the tray.

“Now, Wands, you go ahead and eat while you watch some cartoons with the children.”

“Cartoons?” Wanda asked amusedly, whatever nervousness she was experimenting with was diminished by your comment. The twins nodded watching as you surf the channels looking for some good cartoons.

“Yes, Saturday mornings are mornings of cartoons and sleeping in until you can't take bed anymore.” You winked at her, and Wanda melted at the sight.

She was foolish not to think that this was nothing more than a friendly gesture, and Wanda knew later on she would need to provide explanations about the comments made by Billy. But at the moment she could give in the moment, enjoyed the warm meal and the familiarity of the scene.

Soon you found something Billy and Tommy asked for and the room filled with the sound of paw patrol. You smirked at Wanda who winced lightly while Tommy and Billy were hooked from the start.

“And, what are you supposed to do now?” Wanda asked teasingly, you stood there for a moment putting the rose you had in your back pocket out and placing it on the tray. “Are you going to stay with us?”

Wanda tried to make it sound casual, as if she was just teasing you. But the air left her lungs when you leaned in, your eyes locked on hers, twinkling with an emotion that made Wanda's heart jump in her throat and her core tremble with longing.

“Now you enjoy and later on I will wait for you at my place for lunch.”

“Stay.” Wanda said before she could stop herself, she opened her eyes, lowering her gaze. “I mean… You're here now, so you could have breakfast and…”

You chuckled winking at her, “perhaps at another time. Right now I have to run some errands and I want to make sure Billy and Tommy are okay before you wake up.”

“Thank you.” Wanda mumbled, you waved away her words walking backwards with a grin adorning your features.

“Don't mention it, it was my pleasure. See you later, Wands.”

You almost crashed against the threshold, cursing lowly while hearing the snort of amusement from Wanda. Blushing lightly you shook your head and exited the room before you could do or say something that would put you in the spotlight.

Wanda was left with her children, the food was warm and her stomach grumbled reminding her that she had been angry when waking up.

“Okay, guys, I need you to tell me why you call America again.” Wanda finally asked, turning to Billy first then to Tommy.

The twins took their attention away from the TV looking at Wanda.

“She is cool, Mommy.” Billy said as if that was the best argument in the world.

“I know she is, Billy, but she probably was asleep at home and she has things to do.” Wanda tried to reason with them, it was not the first time they had done this and Wanda was starting to think this could be bothering you and America at some point.

“I like America and Y/N.” Tommy said, leaning closer to Wanda. “They make mommy smile.”

Billy nodded in agreement, “mommy, you like them too?”

Wanda flushed at the question, she pressed her lips together and decided to stuff her mouth with pancakes instead of answering that particular question. She let her thoughts run rampant, her body tingling with anticipation for the lunch time to be there already.

__________________

Laughter filled the room, reverberating deep inside her soul at the sight before her.

Billy and Tommy were on the floor, holding onto their stomachs while laughter erupted from them with a young woman poking at them while a grown adult kept on making noises while the voice on the phone demanded seriousness. Wanda sat on the dark blue chair in the corner, she was closer to the fireplace and the window, the rain falling freely right outside the house. If anyone had asked her a couple of months ago the changes she had experimented in her life, she would have thought them crazy. Wanda had never considered herself strong, or even extraordinary, and quite frankly she never thought she would make it out of Vision’s grasp; when the time came for her to make decisions, it came as a surprised just how strong she really was. How ready she was to start fighting for who she was, and what she wanted.

Leaning back against the cushioned back of the chair, Wanda chuckled at the sight of Billy and Tommy enjoying themselves without a care in the world. Her green eyes flickered briefly from Billy and Tommy to America, the young woman was grinning like mad while putting the mobile away before turning the TV on, her soothing voice and clear wording made it impossible for the twins to ignore her. Wanda had seen the growing affection between her children and their babysitter, how that young woman had come over their lives and help the twins out of their scary shell.

For a moment, Wanda kept her eyes on a single spot between the twins and America. She was fighting over with her thoughts, the fluttering in her heart made her tingled until fluttering butterflies awoke at the pit of her stomach. Without any excuses to keep her eyes away from you, she let her green stare to fall upon your relaxed form on the floor.

You were resting your back against the sofa, one leg on the floor and the other bend slightly towards your chest. Your face was a mask of pure relaxation, there was a soft trace of flush on your cheeks and those eyes were completely soft and warmth as they focused on the children. Not for a single moment had you shown any disgust or exasperation against the twins, you were not even bored after answer a million questions and then telling them stories about yours and America’s younger days.

Wanda held her hands closer to her chest, her heart twisted inside her chest making her experiment a spark of longing. Wanda longed for this to be her life, and just for that brief moment, Wanda could pretend this was her life. With Billy, Tommy, with America and with…with you.

But just as this thought sneaked inside her mind, she shook it away with panic rising inside her mind. It was impossible! She was not attracted to women, and she most certainly was not attracted to you! She couldn’t! She shouldn’t! And thus, she would bury those emotions and forget all about them. With time, Wanda knew she would realize this was just her way of developing friendships. Right?

“Woah, earth to Wanda? Earth to Wanda!!”

You were waving your hand in front of her face, the young woman shook her head blushing profusely with you just a few inches away from her grinning amusedly. Wanda could tell everyone had her attention on her, and she just hoped she had not been staring at you in an obvious way.

“I thought you want to either hit me or kiss me for the way you were looking at me.” You teased shaking your head in triumph when Wanda winced mortified.

“I wanted to hit you…” She stated through gritted teeth, you chuckled leaning back.

“Keep telling yourself that, Princess.” You winked at the young woman, before tilting your head back.

Billy, Tommy, and America were now seated on the sofa watching a movie, and while the rain was still falling right outside your windows, it was no late than four in the afternoon.

“I was asking you, if you want to start working on the preparations for the festival.” You lowered your gaze furrowing your brows. “We can use the studio and leave them here watching a movie.”

Still shaken by your early comment, Wanda tried to regain her wits before facing you again.

“Yes, I think we could go and work a little, there are a lot of things I would like to ask you about, and perhaps get to know a little better.” Wanda was about to stand up when you stretched out your hand, offering a support for her to take and stand up.

It took her a moment of hesitation before she came into contact with your hand. It felt warm against hers, and your fingertips were soft under her calloused palm. You offered a half smile, Wanda tried to smile back but it came as a grimace making her wince at her lack of decor to actually return such a simple gesture. Wanda thought you would let go as soon as she had stood up, but instead you took her hand in yours guiding her through the living room down the dinning room to the hall leading a to a single white door.

“My dad built his mancave in the basement.” You started explaining while going down the stairs with Wanda following close behind. “It became the studio for everyone in the house since he was incapable of being alone for far too long. He started bringing my toys and my things as well as some of America’s or even mom’s stuff.”

“This place is huge.” Wanda couldn’t help but admire the room, it had been well-adapted and there was no humidity or coldness sneaking inside the place.

It had a single desk in the far corner, with a lamp and a laptop. There were a couple of inflatable chairs, a sofa bed, and a couple of futons; on the wall there was a TV and Wanda could see three different gamer consoles with the respective controls. This really had become more than a studio and more like a game room inside the house, and whenever America and her friends were up for a sleepover this was the place they stayed in

You were standing at the bottom of the stairs, scratching the back of your neck waiting for Wanda to say something. The young woman walked around the place, her eyes following the different patterns, the furniture, and then to the pictures decorating one of the walls. In there she could see the pictures of your younger self with your parents, some of you and your friends, and then America and her friends. Wanda softened slightly, her eyes falling into one picture that had a baby America clinging to you, behind the both of you were your parents smiling happily at the picture. For all your bravado, and rudeness, these were the glimpses of the real you that Wanda found endearing; she turned around to see you fidgeting near the stairs, as if you had been waiting her approval.

There was a single moment in which she found herself looking directly into your eyes. You were trying to hold yourself in a casual manner, trying always to look as compose and in control as you presented yourself most of the time. But right now, you were just nervous and Wanda couldn’t help but think you were looking cute, and apart of her was hoping perhaps, this sudden nervous trait of yours was because of her.

“This is a game room, you know that, right?” Wanda finally exclaimed, her lips curling slightly. “And it looks like the playground of a 15-year-old teen.”

You crunched up your nose lifting your finger, “now look here, this is a pretty decent game room, and it fits the needs of a couple of orphans that wanted to make this a good place to play.”

Wanda chuckled making her way to the laptop, you followed her soon after sitting down on your favourite chair while putting your mobile out.

“We haven’t changed anything, you know?” You finally revealed, Wanda took a seat right beside you tilting her head with curiosity. “I mean, this is how dad decorated it. Sure, we added some things, and some pictures and games but…dad decorated it himself. He…he was a 15-year-old at heart.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t—” Wanda started but you stopped her waving your hand away.

“Oh, no, no, don’t worry, I just…you made me remember that discussion with mom.” You shrugged then. “I think, America and I never thought of changing this one room, the rest of the house has to go through some renewals, but this place…our last movie night was in this room. I think we never thought this place needs changing.”

It was the first time Wanda saw the vulnerability in you, the way your words tinged with sorrow and nostalgia, how your eyes held onto the glistening tears while your lips quirked upwards. You turned to Wanda, and in there she could see a strong woman that had been dealing with more chaos that she let on. Wanda hesitated for a moment before placing her warm hand on top of yours, her own features softening to offer you a single smile.

“It looks incredible, you know? I think that it really suits you and America.”

You snorted nodding before looking away, “so, let’s get to work then, I have a couple of ideas that may work for this occasion.”

Wanda accepted the sudden change of topic with a short nod, but she didn’t miss the smile playing on your lips or the closeness you two were sharing at the moment. The young woman turned to the laptop to a word document you just opened, ready to start working.

“So, what shall we do?”

Wanda chuckled with her cheeks warming up, she too turned to the laptop opening her mouth to start sharing the ideas that had been in her mind for a couple of days. Your fingers moving fast on the keyboard, your own ideas being brought upfront until you and her engaged in a conversation you would replay in your mind for days to come.

___________________

Time passed by so quickly, by the time you decided to look at your watch it read 9 p.m.

Rain had stopped a long time ago, and the noise from upstairs came muffled by the close door of the basement. You were laughing at some silly story Wanda had told you about her twin, and the young woman was just grinning at the sight of your own smile. While you had never doubt Wanda was smart, this was the very first time you shared a conversation with the woman; her quick wit, alongside her opinions and her own ideas let her shine with a light of her own. She was not only smart, but also funny and soon you found yourself wanting to continue with the conversation, to not let go of the fuzzy shivering of your heart just as Wanda gestured with her hands, speaking excitedly about the arrangements in the main hall of Stark’s compound.

And while you seemed completely hooked by the woman sitting in front of you, Wanda was not in a better position.

It had been far too long since she allowed herself to get closer to anyone that was not pre-approved by Vision. She had almost forgotten what it was to give her opinion and to actually share her thoughts and her knowledge in a conversation. You were not only smart but funny, and while you and her thought differently on many topics, you were always up for a negotiation and a well-thought argument that Wanda loved to retort only to see your eyebrow twitched, and then the glint of disbelief in your eyes. It had been so long since Wanda allowed herself to be this close to anyone, to actually leaned in just to get closer to another person without breaking the distance to steal a kiss.

Wanda found herself relaxing into the banter, and as the night progressed she found herself longing. What for? She was scared to even go behind the answer to such a question. And still, she hoped for you to just do something and ended with her misery and her uncertainty. Of course, as soon as these thoughts flourish in her mind, another darker one came in, and soon she found the face of Carol Danvers sneaking in just to remind Wanda you were already taken.

Her eyes flickered down to her feet, her heart tugging painfully in her chest. She felt tears pricking at her eyes, while her stomach dropped at the memory of you kissing the blond-haired woman, of that woman holding onto you in the Stark event.

“Hey, you okay?” Your hand rested tentatively on top of hers, Wanda let her green eyes focused on the hands before she nodded curtly.

“Yes, sorry I just…” She tried to explain herself, the tears just rolling slowly making her felt like an idiot. She was about to speak when your fingertips wipe the tears away.

You were frowning deeply, Wanda found herself lost in your eyes and the honest concern she saw written in them.

“Wands…” You started but Wanda just shook her head standing up, she put on her best smile stretching her right hand to grab yours.

“Come, I think we need a tea or something, and the kids have been far to silent for my taste…”

Your frown deepened, but you decided to not make a comment about it. You grabbed Wanda’s hand in yours and soon you were following her close behind, her hand was warm against yours, your heart beating painfully in your chest. The first floor was in complete darkness, the only light coming from the living room that had the TV on, a movie was playing there, and on the sofa were Billy, Tommy and America, all snuggled up covered by a blanket and pillows to make it comfortable.

Wanda stopped on her tracks, her face softening at the sight.

She let go of you, stepping closer to the sofa and brushing Tommy’s hair away. The boy sighed turning slightly to snuggle closer to America, Billy was sprawled on the free space, and America had her hand wrapped protectively around to child’s knee. The whole scene was overwhelming to Wanda, the peace in her children’s face, the fact she could just let go of her worries knowing they were safe, that she was safe…

It was overwhelming.

Wanda never thought she would get to where she was at the moment, she never thought the day she met you that she would allow you to engulf her in a hug letting her sob for a moment. You stood there, making soothing circles on the young woman’s back not really knowing what to say, but making sure Wanda was following into the kitchen.

You sat Wanda down on the chair, turning towards the stove to start heating the water for the tea. The room was in complete silence, Wanda let her hand covered her face for what seemed an eternity until she gathered enough courage to start talking.

“You must think I’m weird, that I’m just this crazy person that doesn’t know how to keep her emotions in check.” Wanda blurted out glancing at the counter while wriggling her hands. “We were just having a good time, and I come and mess it up by crying and acting like an idiot.”

You stopped what you were doing, for a brief moment your back was still turned towards Wanda until you turned around facing the other woman. Wanda never looked up, but you didn’t need her too, not yet anyway.

“I think you are amazing, Wands.” You leaned back against the sink, your hands resting on the table. “But I guess, your life has not been easy.”

Wanda snorted bitterly, her arms wrapping around herself, she had not forgotten about Billy’s comment early that morning, Wanda knew you had listened to it as if that wasn’t enough, you had also seen the scars in Tommy’s back. You had seen her at her most vulnerable, after the party thrown for the school; Wanda was afraid to look into your eyes and discover disgust in your eyes. She was afraid to actually find in those eyes understanding, and sympathy…

The world around her froze in time, a pair of fingers placed tenderly under her chin. Wanda felt the air on her lungs tangled in her throat, she trembled to her very core when her eyes found yours in a single stare. Whatever she expected to find in your glance, it was certainly not the warmth emotion filled with affection and something she could not name. You smiled at her, your hand brushing lightly on her skin before putting a strand of hair behind her ear.

“We don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to.” Your voice was soft, Wanda shivered shaking her head afraid to break the moment.

“I left my husband a couple of months ago.” She whispered placing her hand on your wrist. “He was not good to me or my children, and I just knew I have to leave before anything bad happen.”

It was not the whole truth, and Wanda felt bad at not being completely honest with you but in reality she was not ready to tell you the full story. How her life and that of the twins had been in danger, that the last time he had hit Wanda she was left to dead and taken to the hospital after Vision realized she could actually die. That he had used a cord from the television to hit Tommy on his back, and then had broken Billy’s arm. That he had threatened to kill the twins and then used Wanda like a breeding stock to keep her by his side.

Wanda was not ready to tell you, of all people, these things.

You opened your mouth wanting to ask something, anything, but you decided there was nothing else you needed to know. It is not my story to tell.

Natasha had said to you once, and now that you were looking into Wanda’s face, you realized, it was a story that the other woman needed to be ready to tell. You pressed your lips together, taking your hand away while stepping back a little.

“I’m sorry, Wanda.” You said the first thing that came to mind.

Wanda broke into a bitter smile, her mirthless laughter sending shivers down your back.

“People don’t usually know what to say when I tell the story, so it’s fine.” Wanda shrugged turning her back to you. “I’m still getting use to…everything, that’s why I’ve been going to Doctor Hope, and why I ended up here.”

You didn’t need to ask anything else, it was not secret that Natasha was part of a secret group that helped people victims of violence. You had even contributed at some point with money and contacts, but it had never been your forte, your stepmother was the one involved with the group. Knowing that Wanda ended up at your doorstep because of this, because she was running and hiding stirred something deep inside your heart.

You felt the need to protect her and the twins.

“I guess it doesn’t help that I’m an asshole to you most of the time, eh?”

Your commented caught her off guard, and soon Wanda was actually laughing. You joined her sitting on the counter while leaning against your hand. Wanda put her hair away shrugging.

“You were the only one actually being you around me.” She replied. “So, I kind of appreciated you being an asshole, it helped me focus my anger against someone different than me.”

You snorted, bowing mockingly at her.

“I’m always glad to be of service, Princess.” Then, in a moment of inspiration you winked at her and added. “I can always be of some use, and continue being an ass to you, so you have someone to fight with.”

Wanda shook her head, this time around her face transformed into an expression you were far too afraid to decipher. Her eyes gleamed, and her lips broke into an easy smile.

“Even though your proposal is very tempting, I think I like you more now.” Wanda opened her eyes really big she waved her hands stuttering with a full blush on her face; you arched your brows looking at her amusedly.

“Oh, you like me now? Really?” You teased, and she stood up rather fast stepping back making her way to the kettle.

“Oh, shut it, you know what I mean.” She tumbled over her words, with her back to you to hide away her embarrassment.

“Yes, you mean you like me, woah, Princess I didn’t know you swing that way…” Your laughter died off when the dishcloth she was using hit you in the face. “Hey!”

Wanda rolled her eyes trying to control her flustered cheeks, she mocked glare at you before spreading her arms rather exasperated.

“Can you help me with the tea, please?” She huffed when you chuckled jumping to the floor.

“Sure, Princess, anything you want.” You said winking at her, “after all, this is why you like me…”

“God, you’re impossible.” She mumbled trying to ignore her beating heart, or the grin threatening to break upon her lips.

You chuckled grinning smugly at her, nothing much was said about the topic, you didn’t press for more information and Wanda was just glad to share her story at her own pace. The silence that followed your teasing was one of pure familiarity, with you working alongside Wanda while making sure the tea was served with honey and milk.

“Have you ever been to Kamar Taj?” Your question came out of the blue, Wanda made a face blinking a couple of times while shrugging.

“Not really…” She answered tentatively not really knowing where this question came from.

“Well, let me show you…” You fumbled with your mobile, the tip of your tongue poking through your lips as you search for the images. “And, let me tell you the story of how America and I got therapy after our parents accident.”

Wanda found herself admiring you from afar, your words held just a tinge of sadness in them, but your eyes gleamed with peace and affection as you located the pictures and started showing them to Wanda. You opened up to her, telling Wanda about Stephen and Cristine, about Tony and Pepper, and how everyone came together for you and your sister. You were talking excitedly, your hands expanding the sights you had seen in Asia, but Wanda’s eyes had never left your face, or your expressions…She had never stopped looking at you, and if you had been paying attention, you would have noticed the deep affection gleaming in those green eyes.

__________________________________

Monday morning came with more troubles than solutions.

You hit your head on the desk, your assistant huffing in disapproval while she continued with your schedule for the rest of the morning and the afternoon. You had just come to the office after an accident in the production floor, some of the computers had malfunction, and half of the operation had stopped until IT and the facilities team to fix everything up.

The only thing holding you up, was the memory of your weekend.

Saturday ended with Wanda staying at your home, the twins were fast asleep and it would have been rather dangerous to just carry them in the middle of a cold night to their house. They were warm, and the chilly night could make them sick, or so you reasoned with Wanda; you won the argument, and she slept with the twins on the basement, while America kept on shooting you knowing glances you didn’t even bother to acknowledge.

Then, Sunday came in and Wanda decided to repay your generosity with breakfast.

Everything had been too damn domestic, and you had woken up on Monday morning panicking. What the hell were you doing? What were you thinking? Wanda was straight as an arrow! She had children! She was married! Sure, her husband was an asshole and no longer in the picture but she was way beyond your league!

She probably didn’t even like women or was curious about being with one! She was probably…

“Really, Y/N, if you’re not going to pay attention to me I’m not going to be here to pass you notes or messages to know what you’re supposed to be talking about.” Maria Hill crossed her arms glaring at you with such intensity you sometimes doubt who was the boss in here.

“Sorry, Maria, I’m…I’m just distracted.”

“No shit, boss.” Maria sighed stepping forward before sitting down. “Spill, I cannot do my job and you certainly can’t do yours if you keep this up, what happened?”

You sighed leaning back on your chair while glancing at the ceiling, you had been an emotional mess all weekend but it only worsened as soon as you woke up that morning and you realized you missed Wanda. Which was completely ridiculous since you had just spent the weekend with her, and it wasn’t even that extraordinary! You both had worked on the preparations for the festival, you had just spent the weekend with a friend and her children. Nothing more.

“I just had the strangest weekend ever.” You mumbled knowing Maria had her brown eyes fixed on you, more than an assistant, Maria had become in your confident whenever you felt the world on your shoulders.

It was a relief, and the woman always had the right words and the right advice for you. She was a good person, and her willingness to usually put up with you was enough to make you trust in her.

“Strangest…how?” She inquired placing her tablet on the table.

You chuckled crowing your hands on your abdomen, tilting your head you locked eyes with her.

“My neighbour, America’s teacher, we…Natasha selected us to organise the Winter Festival for the school,” you shrugged looking away, you missed the flash of recognition in Maria’s stare. “She came home and we just…I don’t know, we just talk and kinda bond…you know?”

Maria cocked a brow not missing for one second your wishful stare, or the inflections on your voice. She had heard from Natasha the strange hate/friendship relationship you had developed with your neighbour. But this was the first time she saw it in action; now Maria understood why Natasha had decided to meddle in it.

“And you bond…physically?” She asked half amused and half exasperated at your reaction.

You jumped startled, your cheeks burning red just as you started stuttering an answer.

“N-no! Of course not!” You shook your head standing up and passing left and right, “I was just…we were just…it was a friendly bond! You know? We talked about ourselves, and our lives and shit like that.”

“Charming.” Maria rolled her eyes once more, she then grabbed her tablet again clearing her throat. “Look, Y/N, I think that you have to wonder why this non-physical bonding with a neighbour you found infuriating is affecting you so much.”

You stopped your passing turning to the window, the sight before you were that of a busy city filled with people coming in and out of the streets. You could feel Maria’s eyes on you, she was waiting for your answer and you knew you needed to concentrate on the oncoming meetings; besides, she was right. Why were you so worked up about the weekend? Why were you so affected?

“I just…I’m not sure.” You dropped your shoulders turning slightly. “What else do I have for today?”

Maria pressed her lips together, she was very tempted to pressing the matter and get more answers out of you. But she had been by your side long enough to know, it would be pointless you were far too confused to actually get into a serious talk. By the time you turned to face her, Maria knew you were in full business mode and whatever had been distracting you was pushed deep inside your mind, avoiding your emotions was something you were very adept at.

“You have lunch with Carol Danvers.” Maria smirked at your reaction; you winced placing a hand at the nape of your neck. “She actually made it official; we still had some contracting with the government and since she is the new liaison for Camp Davis you couldn’t say no.”

You nodded curtly, knowing the meeting was Carol’s way to get your attention on a topic you had been avoiding for more than a week. When did you relationship with Carol changed so much? Why did it change so much?

“And then, after that you have a business meeting with Edwin Jarvis, you know? The CEO from Vision Enterprise.” Maria furrowed her brows putting up some files. “He is looking to get some investment in AI technology and has some interesting ideas.”

You nodded absentmindedly, your mind still on Carol and Wanda.

“I think I’ve heard of him, Tony mentioned him at some point.” Maria clicked her tongue and this time around you did pay attention to her. “What is it?”

“This individual, he is also being investigated.” She replied softly, your eyes open slightly taking a seat on your chair you leaned forward.

“Go on, what is it? Should I cancel the meeting?”

Maria pursed her lips before shaking her head.

“He is being investigate for some fraud and industrial espionage.” Maria put the file in front of you, you turned to your screen reading the file she just sent to you. “It seems this is an ongoing matter, but there is also a sealed file about his wife and his children.”

“He sounds like the kind of individual I don’t want to be relate to, Maria.” You pursed your lips reading over the investigation for tax evasion and industrial espionage, the one on his wife and children was left blank and had a seal from the federal government on top of it.

“I know; however, Tony wants you to meet with him.”

This time around you couldn’t hide your surprised, you cocked your head to the side and then your eyes opened wide in understanding.

“Very well, what do I have to do?”

“I’m so glad that you always catch up once you have your mind out of the gutter.” Maria smirked leaning in while ignoring your sputtering protests.

_______________

The restaurant was packed.

Carol had chosen the restaurant right around the corner of your building, it was an old place filled with golden lights, and white tables with a darkened interior and sweet classical music dancing around the place. It was the home for old and new members of society, and it was the preferred place for the high ranking officers of the military when they wanted to make a good deal.

Your eyes swept the interior trying to locate the woman that was waiting for you, Carol waved at you from the far corner of the restaurant the table for two located it near the window right beside a beautiful fountain made of coloured water. The young woman wore her uniform, the signs that she had been in a formal meeting moments before meeting with you.

“Hey.” You greeted leaning in to place a kiss on her cheek, Carol smiled sweetly at you indicating the chair while calling over the waitress.

“Hey, thank you for coming.” She stated lowering her gaze for a moment before facing you again, you winced grabbing the menu and asking for something light and some water before focusing your attention on Carol.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“You had been avoiding me.” Carol didn’t beat around the bush, she grabbed her glass of water and took a long sip with her eyes pinning you to your spot.

You shifted your weight leaning forward, your mouth opened ready to deny her words but unable to do so. In reality, she was right, you had been avoiding her; ever since she proposed to you the trip to Eastern Europe you knew the relationship should stop but you didn’t dare to do so, and this inability to get your relationship clear with Carol had been the downfall of you affair with her.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have.” You replied lamely, Carol sighed dropping her face her voice marked with the vulnerability she felt at the moment.

“I think you know I’m in love with you.” Carol took a deep breath, her lips trembling as she spoke. “I’ve been trying so hard to make you fall for me, I…I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to this relationship, but I always thought…I really want you to come with me, Y/N, let me…let me be the one for you, just as you have become the one for me.”

The room filled with heavy air, and deafening silence.

Your heart shrank at her confession, and your hand stirred at your side wanting to reach out and grab Carol’s hand. The blond-haired woman offered a single smile, but it was quite evident to you that tears were threatening to leave her eyes.

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled passing your hand through your hair. “I was not fair to you, Carol.”

Carol snorted looking out of the window, the waitress chose that moment to bring the food and, as soon as he was gone you continued.

“I do love you, you know? I never thought of this to be jus an affair, and I…” You trailed off not knowing how to explain to Carol that you tired, you really did.

She had always been special, a friend that you could always turn to whenever things went bad or good, she had been there for you when your parents died and when Shuri broke your heart. At first you hadn’t understood why she was so unconditional until, one day while you were hating on yourself and the world she kissed you and the affair was born. It was supposed to be with not attachments, and yet Carol couldn’t help herself once she got to see a side of you she had never seen before. You wished it had been the same for you, but you always thought this relationship was nothing more than two good friends helping one another.

You had been unfair. And Carol didn’t deserve it.

“I wished I had fallen in love with you, Carol. I really do.” You finally confessed, this time around you did stretch your hand and grabbed hers in yours.

Carol lowered her stare to your hand, tempted to just pull away but giving into the comforting touch. She swallowed down her tears, her lips breaking into a bittersweet smile.

“I thought this meeting would be different, you know?” Carol let out a breath, pressing her lips tightly. “I thought perhaps…”

You lifted her hand, leaning in placing a soft kiss on her knuckles.

“I’m still here, you know?”

Carol nodded hesitating before speaking, “so, will you go with me? Will you…give us a chance?”

You dropped your eyes, your mouth opened then close again.

“Would you stay? Would you try to give me a chance?” You asked back, and just for that brief moment Carol was tempted to say ‘yes’, but the truth was she could not stay.

Carol had worked from an early age on her dream to be part of the Airforce, to get on top of her game and surpass that boy’s club that had dominated the Airforce for far too long. She and Maria had been working hard on this, and when she was offered the position, Carol knew what she had to do. Her love for you was there, and you had been the only one that made her doubt her career choices; Carol had been ready to say no, until she talked to Maria again and was faced with her dream and her goals.

I know you love her, Carol, but are you ready to leave your dreams behind for someone, anyone? Are sure this won’t come back later on as a reproach for missed chances?

“I’ve been waiting so long for this.” Carol mumbled; you smiled nodding.

“I know, and you don’t know how proud I am. You deserve this, Carol, and you will always count with me to be there for you.” You hesitated before standing up and putting your chair closer to the blond-haired woman, Carol opened her eyes letting out a chuckled when you finally put your chair closer to her.

“What are you doing?” Carol laughed when you fixed everything so you would be closer to her, without letting go of the hand you had been holding for comfort.

“Just moving closer to you, you have always been my friend, Carol, regardless of what happened I do love you, and you are my friend, I hope you know that.”

Carol melted under your words, she returned her attention to her food before speaking again.

“You are my friend as well, Y/N.” Carol looked back at you, “and that’s why I have to ask, are you…do you…what’s going on with Wanda, Y/N?”

“What? Why?” You leaned back, eyes opening at the sudden question.

Carol rolled her eyes, this time around she did look rather upset.

“Well, it is quite obvious something is happening, I’m mean the last couple of times you couldn’t stop talking about her, and then when we met at the supermarket you were…weird.”

You sputtered shaking your head looking away from Carol, “no, no, nothing, I just…she is…she is the mother of the children America babysits for, nothing else.”

Carol didn’t seem convince by your words, she took a sip from her water pursing her lips.

“Are you sure? I mean you look…” Carol could see this topic was not something you were ready for, you squirmed on your chair emptying the glass of water while playing with your food. “Y/N…”

“Nothing, there is nothing, she is just a neighbour… nothing else.”

The conversation changed afterwards.

For Carol it was quite evident you didn’t want to talk about the topic, and if she was going to be honest, she didn’t want to know. Those two different times she had seen you interact with the redhead; she had seen a glint in your eyes Carol was not familiar with; it was a glance she yearned to obtain from you, but it seemed to just be for a single individual. You hadn’t even look Shuri in such a way, and this was what made Carol hesitated about the situation.

But the time lunch was over, you and Carol had found peace in the conversation. You two found a common topic, and soon business was on the table while she asked for your opinion on the subjects that would soon dominate her life, while you asked about the oncoming meetings.

“I will miss you.” Carol said hugging you tightly, you hugged her back smiling softly while enjoying the woman in your arms.

“I’m going to miss you too, Carol.” She stepped back, but she was still close enough you could feel her warm breath on your face. “Carol…”

Your words were cut off by a pair of lips against yours, the kiss was slow tentative touch of the lips teasing you. Carol was flustered once she stepped back, she offered a smile that you returned with a shake of your head.

“Just a good-bye kiss.” She winked at you turning around and walking towards the parking lot.

You watched her leave, a heavy heart inside your chest wondering if you made the right decision by letting go of a woman that had shown you so much love in the last couple of months. You put your hands in your pockets turning round to walk towards your building, you couldn’t keep her by your side waiting to fall in love with her, that wouldn’t be fair with her, or with you.

With a last glance to the sidewalk, you stepped back and went back to your office, a weight you didn’t know you were carrying on your back finally lifting up and leaving you lighter and open to the world of possibilities you had been trying to bury deep inside your mind, a world of possibilities that had a name of its own: Wanda Maximoff.

________________

“Oh, I didn’t know you were a woman.” The man smiled charmingly at you, his hand stretched out while he glanced around the room as if waiting for someone else to come forth into the meeting. “Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to see you are a beautiful woman, but for some reason I have always thought of Y/L/N instead of your first name.”

You forced a smile at the absurdity of his comment, he merely laughed and went to take a seat to the left side of the table. You crossed stares with Maria who shot you a cold glare as a warning to keep your cool and not to do or say anything incorrectly.

“Right, I bet it is a common mistake.” You sat down as well leaning back on your chair while pointing with your hand the file on the table. “I’m glad I get to know you as well, Mr. Jarvis, I’ve been reading to your proposal and me and my team had a counteroffer for you.”

“Oh, a counteroffer?” Jarvis grabbed the file in his hands, he started reading while ignoring the rest of the room.

You had chosen the conference room of tenth floor for the meeting, the place was packed with only a couple of offices and some storage rooms that were the home of the material used on the production floor and the operations room. It was the most neutral ground you could find, more so after finding out how the man operated. The room was almost empty, no decorations on the walls, with a single window that was left facing the city. You let your eyes wandered to Maria who was sitting at the other end of the table, her hands busy with her tablet and her phone while she too made sure to watch the man closely.

“Everything seems to be in order but, I don’t get it.” He stated pointing to a section in the contract. “It says in here that you would only provide with money if I worked here, is that correct?”

“Yes, I prefer this kind of deals to be in a controlled environment.” You shrugged putting your hands together. “Our contracts go directly under the government, and we cannot risk losing any data because of unknown facilities.”

“My business is very secure, Mrs. Y/L/N.” Jarvis straightened up hardening his stare.

“I don’t have any doubts about that, but you have to understand this is part of the non-negotiables, this is the most secure red in the world and what you intended to do will require such facilities to prevent espionage. I think this is a pretty sweet deal for the both of us.”

Jarvis clenched her jaw close, his cheek burning up with embarrassment at being played at like a child. His eyes drifted to the contract, not only was he being ordered to work in some unknown facilities, he would also be made to sign a non-disclosure clausule and the rights for his technology.

“You are asking for far too much, Mrs. Y/L/N, and I'm afraid I'm not seeing the benefits such a deal will bring to me.” Jarvis leaned forward placing his arm on the table, his hand playing with the pen. “You are not the only company interested in buying this idea, and I have to say their proposals are more seductive…”

“And yet, here you are.” You leaned back against your chair, your eyes examining the man sitting in front of you.

Maria had done a good research of him, a married man he started his business thanks to a small inheritance on his father's part and then to the money left by his father in law. He had built a solid company in the industry of technology and entertainment, nothing too extravagant but enough to make him a notorious and well-adjusted member of society in Westview and Jersey. He had tried to jump into major leagues with a risky inversion that ended up with him almost in bankruptcy. Then, all of a sudden, his business got better and now he was someone selling away his ideas to the best buyer. It was then the investigation started leading Homeland and some federal authorities to be not only after him but also after some red of business people that had dedicated their lives to steal ideas of millions of dollars from others.

You knew you were not risking much in this deal, and quite honestly you would be more than happy if the man decided to go after another buyer, but right now your company was being targeted mainly because you were the number one in the business. Maria had assured you he would bite the bait, people thought your company while one of the most powerful in the world had lost its edge after your dad's death. They were looking for the weakest link to just get their hands in a portion of the business you dealt with. No one could imagine you had been dealing with one crisis after another with an iron fist and good advisors.

Jarvis seemed to think that this was the opportunity he had been waiting for, he didn't seem to like the fact it was you the one he had to deal with. When he first acceded to this he was told he would deal with the old man in charge of Alchemax. He never thought he would need to deal with a young woman, but he could always start the deal before charming his way into her pants and getting something good out of this.

“You are right, here I am.” His whole demanour changed in a second, he opened up his arms, tilting his head he sent a flirty smile your way with his eyes twinkling at you. “I never thought I will be bested at negotiations by such a beautiful and young woman such as yourself, Mrs. Y/L/N, but I can tell you I feel confident of the business we are making today.”

Jarvis grabbed the pen signing the contract with a flourish, you smiled back lifting a single eyebrow to the man who was now trying to be charming and flirty towards you.

“This is the beginning of a great relationship between Alchemax and Vision Enterprise.” You replied standing up while offering your hand to the older man, he stood up as well taking your hand in his and placing a kiss on your knuckles.

You never left the smile off of your face, Jarvis stood dangerously close to you towering above you while pressing you back. Maria was about to stand up but a single gesture from you stopped her. You lifted your head, your eyes going from those eyes to his lips and the smirk in the man's face was all you needed to know at the moment.

“I recognize when I have been bested by someone as beautiful as yourself, what o you say if we go out for dinner and celebrate this new deal?” Jarvis let his thumb brushed the skin of your backhand, he winked at you before continuing. “I know just the place you may like, and perhaps…Who knows? This could be the beginning of something else.”

You giggled, shifting your weight from one foot to the other, the man holding back the victorious smile that was threatening to break on his lips.

“Something like what, Mr. Jarvis?” You asked, lowering your voice, Jarvis this time around straightened up.

“Something more pleasurable for the both of us…”

“Oh, but what about your wife and your children? Are they coming as well, Mr. Jarvis?”

Up until that moment, Jarvis had all but forgotten about Maria sitting at the far end of the table. His shoulders put back, the tension around his eyes heightening the wrinkles in his face, his eyes lost all flirtatious glint while he glared at the other woman. The subject of her wife was a sore one for him, and while he knew these people didn't know the truth it still made his blood boil whenever that fucking bitch was mentioned.

The embarrassment she had made him experiment was something he would never forgive her for, and he had most of his resources dedicated to find Wanda and the twins and make sure they were brought to him before he made sure they would never leave his side.

“Wife and children?” You clicked your tongue stepping back while taking the contract in your hands. “I would love to take your offer, Mr. Jarvis, but I do not mess with married men and, most importantly, with business partners. The facilities are ready for you and your team, and the security access has been approved, so you are free to start tomorrow if you want.”

“Now, wait a moment,” Jarvis stepped in trying to salvage the situation, his face once more red with embarrassment. “My wife and children are away with their grandmother, and I just wanted to make it clear my marriage is more a formality to a poor woman who thought getting pregnant would trap me into her delusions of love…”

You turned to the man, your face à mask of disbelief that soon changed into a blank stare. Jarvis smiled weakly at you, lowering his gaze while putting a hand on his pocket.

“I stayed for the children.”

You were not asking for explanations, but the fact this man was ready to give them told you what type of person he was. Maria had made her way to where you were standing her brows out together while ignoring the heated glare Jarvis sent her way.

“Please, Mr. Jarvis, no need to explain yourself.” You replied, shaking your head offering the same innocent and shy smile you had presented him a moment ago. “it is not my business, but either way, I will ask for a rain check since I already had a commitment this afternoon and was not able to accept your invitation.”

Jarvis sighed in relief putting on his charming smile once more. If he got to score something with you, perhaps he wouldn't need Wanda or the brats to get money out of them.

“Then, let me see what can be arranged for you and I to celebrate at a later date.”

“It's a date, now if you excuse me I have a meeting with the board in five minutes.”

You dropped your smile once the lift doors closed in front of you.

“God, I will need a fucking shower after this.” You shivered in disgust, Mary snorted writing something on her tablet.

“At least Fury is going to be happy.” She replied, shrugging. “It's a win-win situation.”

“Next time we're going to let him kiss your hand and try that creepy smile with you, okay?” You retorted crossing your arms. “The nerve of the man! To think I am straight at all!”

Maria laughed at your comment, she held onto her abdomen shaking her head before leaning back against the walls of the lift. You smiled at her lifting a single accusing finger to her.

“Next time, I would let everyone think you are straight and that Natasha is just a really good friend.” That silenced Maria who blushed profusely, turning away from you.

“That's not funny.” She grumbled.

“Oh, it is if you remember how you and Natasha came to be a couple.”

Maria winced trying to bury the memories in her mind, it wasn't so much she didn't treasure the moment she and Natasha found one another. It was just that it was also the most embarrassing time in her life and remembering That moment made her cringe from time to time.

“Anyway, I found the man disgusting, and I considered his wife.” You commented lightly. “He really is quite the character, you could find something else about his family?”

“No, it is a closed file, so I will need special clearance to see it.” Maria waited for a moment but you shook your head.

“No, it doesn't matter anyway, Fury is after the man for tax evasion and espionage. We don't even know what really happened with his wife.”

“Very well.” Maria exited the lift after you, afternoon was already falling and the lights of yellow and orange decorated the sky giving way to the darkness of the night. “Miguel just finished putting the security measures on the red we gave them, and everyone is already aware of what to do.”

“Good then, let's get this one last meeting over so I can go home to my sister…”

“... And your neighbour.” Maria smirked mischievously at you, her amusement growing when your feet falter at the mention of Wanda. “Are you going to tell her you and Carol are no longer together?”.

“Why would I do that?” You replied sharply trying to hide the blush on your face.

“Oh you know? Because you two are friends and there may be a possibility she wants to jump your bones?”

“God you and Natasha are going to be the death of me someday!”

Maria laughed following you inside the main hall towards the conference room. Maria found it amusing how Natasha picked up on this kind of things, now that she and Hope had talked about the topic and that Maria had seen your reactions and the way you talked about Wanda she had to agree that there was something there. Whatever it was, it brought a silly smile to your lips, it made you more relax and open. Maria was certaines you were not ready to admit these changes, or even the implications of your emotions, but there was time and perhaps these moments you were sharing with Maximoff while planning the Winter Festival were the push you needed.

There was only one thing that was worrying Maria and that was the truth behind Jarvis and Wanda. She hated lying to you, and even more so when someone as important as Wanda was for you was involved. But Natasha had assured her this was the best way to trap the man, and to make sure Wanda and her children were protected while Jarvis faced justice for a long time.

Y/N cannot know anything, Maria, please, she is already involved with Wanda as it is and knowing this could make her act harshly and we need to do this with care to trap the bastard.

“Anyway, I don't even think she… Likes me that way,” there is a hint of regret in your tone, your hand hovering above the knob of the door, you licked your lips frowning deeply before turning to Maria. “Not that it matters at all or anything just… WeWe're good friends, you know? And she is straight as an arrow… So,yeah…”

There was a moment of silence, Maria narrowed her eyes at you but you put on your best smile before opening the door and entering the conference room, whatever you were thinking or even experimenting at the moment completely forgotten as you took the reins of the meeting. Maria storing away this moment, she knew she would need to have a serious talk with Natasha once she got home.

------------------------------------------------------

Next chapter: Reader and Wanda are trying to deny what had become evident to everyone, Riri played her cards well and America is at a crossroads. The twins are getting far too comfortable, and the Winter Festival preparations create a tension between you and Wanda that you didn't dare to break.

#fanfic #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wandaxreader #female reader #imagine wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x female reader #reader #wanda/y/n #wanda x you #wanda x y/n #wanda x reader #wanda/reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x y/n #wanda mcu

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endthedream · 1 year

Text

a sweet melody

pairing: siren!haechan x human!reader (she/her)

summary: Insanity isn’t what she expected to receive when she joined her father and his crew on an expedition, full of men who think she isn’t capable of anything. But it’s all that she got after seeing nothing but endless water every single day. Maybe that’s why her mind started imagining a strange boy who finally shows her the appreciation she deserves. Maybe that’s why she ignores the way she can’t escape the trance he puts her in whenever he sings a melody for her. Or maybe everything is real, and the boy isn’t who he pretending to be.

words: 12.5k

story colour: green

some warnings:

it’s angst, the word “killing” gets mentioned a few times but nothing happens, heavy manipulation

masterlist of ‘nct dream as super natural creatures’

August 2nd, 1878

Day 25 on sea

I don’t remember the feeling of solid ground under my feet. Grass under my toes, touching stone walls or sleeping in a soft bed that isn’t rocking from the waves crashing against the ship.

I don’t remember the taste of air that isn’t filled with salt. The taste of anything other than fish.

I don’t remember not being nauseous every day, not fighting against boredom, not having to talk to myself in order to stay sane. Having to remind myself that I am me and this expedition isn’t pointless and could possibly make us rich until the day we die.

Father told me to write down my thoughts, he senses that I’m slowly losing my mind. But how can’t I? All I see, day and night, are endless expanses of water. No land in sight. We are miles and miles away from civilization. Alone with the sea and what lays beneath it. That thought can be frightening sometimes.

My brother called me a wimp, told me I should have just stayed at home and let the men handle it. I think he is the one who is a wimp. He’s scared of the power women can hold in a world that is overpowered by men. He doesn’t want me here, thinks I belong only at home like the other women in our city. But I don’t believe that even for one second. I have so much more potential than cooking and taking care of children. I’m an explorer, an adventurer, a researcher. I belong exactly here with my brother, my father and his crew.

I am so much more than all of them point me out to be and I know I can prove exactly that to them. I can prove that women can do all things men have been doing for years, maybe even better. I will prove it, even if it makes me go insane.

August 7th, 1878

Day 30 on sea

I miss my mother. I miss her comforting words, her warm arms and the smell of her perfume. Father misses her too. We talked last night while watching the waves under the moonlit sky. He told me he thinks she is watching over us, protecting us from unknown dangers. He told me that he thinks she is proud of us, especially me, for having the courage to explore the sea. I think he is right. Mother would have loved for us to do the things she always dreamt of doing. Exploring. She always wanted to know what lays beyond the sea, know the secrets behind it and write it all down.

Mother was the creative one in our family. She wrote poems, drew beautiful paintings and crafted useful things out of our waste. There was nothing she couldn’t do, no challenge she couldn’t face. I admired her for that, looked up to her and wanted to be like her. Father says that sometimes he sees a bit of her in me, a bit of her creativity leaking out of my aura, but most of the time I am like him. A big pighead who is way too nosy for their own good. But he also said that this trait will help me on our journey.

“We need people like you.”, he spoke as he looked into the sparkling reflection of the stars on the water. “People who are brave and people who are inquisitive. People who don’t stop when it gets too much and get driven by the passion of wanting to know what lays beneath the unknown. That’s why I want you here.”

“But why did you bring my brother as well? He is nothing like that.” My comment made him let out a quiet laugh, a sound I haven’t heard from him in a while.

“Because he can fight. We need people like that as well.”

Our talk was over after that. He went to sleep, and I stayed up, watching the stars in the dark night sky and thinking about his words. Does he really want me here or is he just being nice to me because I’m his daughter? The others on the ship are not shy to express their dislike for me. I’m not taking it to heart since they care more about my gender than my capabilities. But I care about my father’s opinion. I care what he thinks about me being on this ship with him and if he thinks that I should have stayed at home like everyone else is telling me.

I hope he didn’t lie to me. I hope that his words were sincere, and he actually wants me to be here. Because I think it would shatter me if he didn’t.

I figured I should talk more about my current mental state. Every day I try not to show how much it affects me that even though there are so many people on this ship, I’m still alone. No one wants to talk to me, no one cares about my opinion, and no one wants me here. I spend most of the day watching the ocean, listening to the waves and the birds stopping by. When I see something, an animal or even just seaweed, I write it down and draw a picture of it. It helps me a bit, I think, but I’m not quite sure.

Yesterday a boy, his name is Jisung, let me help him prepare a fish. It was the first time someone had spoken to me without throwing an insult at my head. I haven’t seen him much around the ship since he spends most of the time in the kitchen with his father. But he seemed nice enough, even though as soon as another crew member approached us, Jisung ran away from me, not wanting to be seen with the “intruder”. I wasn’t offended by it, at least I got to eat a nice fish for dinner.

But I’m wandering again. My mental state. I do think I’m getting a bit… well, crazy. But who isn’t? Everyone on this ship is going through the withdrawal of feeling solid ground under their toes and seeing anything other than salt water every single day.

I think we all are slowly losing it.

August 15th, 1878

Day 38 on sea

The air was nice today. It smelled fresher than before, kind of like we entered a new world overnight.

It just felt so clean.

Maybe that’s exactly what I needed, some fresh and clear air, something that removed the mess inside of me as well. Father said that fresh air always helps with an occupied mind. I guess his thesis has been proven right.

I should listen to him more.

He is old and keeps to himself most of the time, but when he actually does talk, it has an impact. Just yesterday two of the men on the boat accidently- in a drunken manor- knocked over two wooden boxes full of fish we haunted, leaving us with not much left. Father was furious, I could tell by the look on his face, but he kept his calm image. He went up to the two men and instead of screaming, he just stared at them for a few minutes. I think his eyes were what intimated them the most.

“You realize what you just did?”, he asked them, and I never heard his voice being so cold. They just nodded their heads, eyes widened like they were deer’s getting hunted by a wolf. “You realize what that means for the two of you?” Hesitation lingered in their demeanor. Clearly, they didn’t know what consequences followed their stupid mistake.

“Since you prevented us from having a week stock of fish, I’m going to do the same to you. That means limited access to food, no alcohol anymore and you are going to clean the boat from front to back. I want to see it spotless. Are we clear?” Again, their heads nodded faster than the wind blowing my hair away. They hurried off after being dismissed, leaving me standing there as father let out a long sigh.

It must be hard, having to be in charge of a bunch of grown men who act like children. And it must be hard seeing your own children having to face some of their own hardships as well. I’m not saying my brother is having a hard time on this ship, I’m saying in general. Someone filled with that much piled up anger, like my brother, must have some troubles they can’t communicate themselves.

It’s not like I have never tried. Talking to him, I mean. I did, plenty of times. But he never listens. And he never talks. I think it is the masculinity they force upon boys these days. It starts in school when they are just little fellows and continues all the way into adult hood. It teaches them not to cry, to hide their emotions and be strong.

I think that is stupid. I think that as human beings we were created to show our emotions. It’s our darn right to let ourselves feel everything freely without having to hide it.

But my brother is taking it seriously, says that the people in school would make fun of him if he’s showing weakness. Weakness. That is stupid. I think that hiding your emotions and building up this wrong image in which you hide behind a made-up strength, is what makes you weak.

I told him that and he just said: “And that’s why you’re a woman. You wouldn’t survive a minute being a man.”

And you wouldn’t survive a minute being a woman either. But I didn’t say that. I didn’t want to make him more upset, and I especially didn’t want to start a discussion about men and women with him. It is pointless, because no matter what I say, he will never see us as equals.

I wish I were closer to my brother. I wish he wouldn’t have to think about all this stupid stuff. And I wish I could live in a world where I could freely express myself without having to justify my every move.

I wish, I wish, I wish.

August 19th, 1878

Day 42 on sea

We saw dolphins today. They were swimming right beside our ship, jumping high up into the air and whistling at us. It was a magical moment, watching them happily swim, eager to interact with us. I even got to draw a picture of them. And for a moment I forgot that my mind is constantly spinning in a spiral. I just sat there, enjoying the short moment of peace, before it got destroyed.

Some of the men on the ship, clearly drunk, threw bottles at the dolphins, slurring insulting words at them. The dolphins swam away shortly after, but the bottles stayed where they threw them, in the ocean. I was so mad that I went up to one of the men, yelling some pretty mean words as well.

“Are you out of your mind, you drunk filthy piece of shit? Not only did you hurt poor helpless animals that were clearly eager to interact with us, but you also polluted the ocean with your stupid bottles of alcohol. Are you really that messed up in your head to think this was a good idea? I don’t even get why you are on this god forsaken ship. You are clearly not good for anything other than drinking your days away and only caring about yourselves. And you call yourself a man. You are nothing but a pathetic little boy, wanting everyone’s attention. You disgust me, you pig.”

I can’t remember much afterwards, only the stinging feeling against my cheek, a foot against my rip cage and someone yelling to stop. I woke up not long ago. The ship is quiet, so I assume it’s already in the middle of the night and everyone is sleeping, but I’m too scared to look. My body hurts, every time I move only a slight bit, a crushing pain curses through my bones.

When I close my eyes, everything is spinning, so I don’t close my eyes anymore.

I don’t regret what I said to that man. I don’t regret standing up to myself. I had to endure a worse treatment for a longer time and could handle it. It is not my fault that he couldn’t handle a bit of critique. All I hope is that this pain will go away soon. The pain inside and outside.

I’ve been thinking, maybe a bit too much. What if I change my way of thinking? What if instead of letting the ocean hurt me, I will let it heal me? What if instead of letting the loneliness consume me, I will let it lead me? Maybe all I have to do to get better is to change the way I approach this expedition.

And now that I have written it down, I will have to do it. My mother always said words only count when you write them on a piece of paper. In that way it is like a contract, unbreakable. It is like an oath you swear only to yourself, and those should be the most precious ones. She said you should always keep the promises you give to yourself, because after all, at the very end you will always have yourself to count on. Mother was a wise lady. A wise and confident woman, that I always looked up to. She was never afraid to speak her mind and stand up for her beliefs, I admired that side of her so much. And I know my dad also admired that.

Sometimes I forget that he lost his wife, I forget that he is still grieving. Because it looks so easy for him. It doesn’t look like he is compulsively taken of on a ship to “explore the unknown” just to get away from home and the recuring memories of the woman he loved so dearly. It looks like he created a team of the best- that’s arguable- men out there and took of to explore. He looks like a hero, not a broken man.

He hides everything so well. I wish he would have taught me how to do that.

August 20th, 1878

Day 43 on sea

Dad told me not to move too much. He thinks my rips are badly bruised and I need a few days, maybe even a few weeks to heal. We don’t have a qualified doctor on this ship, so I am just putting ice on my ribs and hope they will magically heal.

My brother even came to my room to ask me about my well-being. That was the last thing I expected to be quite honest with you. My brother and I have never had the best relationship. He was never a reliable soul, always easily influenced by others. He is a follower not a leader and that shows in the way he behaves towards others, especially towards me.

“Are you fine?”, he asked me, voice unusually soft. I could see it in his eyes, the pity that lies in them. It looked like he actually cares.

“Forgetting the circumstances, yes, I am fine.” He let out a long and deep breath, a hand stroking back a piece of hair that fell into his eyes. I should have asked him if I should cut his hair for him.

“Okay.”, he just answered, nodding his head before standing up again. “If you need anything, just call for me.” Without looking at me again, he left the room. All I could do after that was smile. It was the first encounter since we were kids that didn’t end up with me wishing I would never have to talk to him again. He may not know how to express what he is really feeling and is scared of voicing his own thoughts, but this small conversation showed me that he may not be all too bad.

August 25th, 1878

Day 48 on sea

I am going crazy. I sit on my bed every single day. I draw, I write, and I stare at the wall.

I can feel my thoughts circle around my brain, nothing makes sense. No one visited me in the past two days, and it makes the urge to get up even worse. I didn’t really have someone to talk to from the beginning, but at least I got to be around some living beings. I didn’t have to bear my own thoughts for such a long time. Now I’m not only alone, but I’m also lonely as well.

I had a nightmare last night. I dreamt about the ship sinking. It was absurd because the men drunk too much and their bellies got so bloated, it made the ship sink. But that wasn’t the frightening part. As I tried to swim for safety, my arms already hurting, I started hearing voices. Not just two, must have been a hundred of them. All of them whispering to me, but I couldn’t understand what they were trying to tell me. I kept swimming and swimming, far behind I saw hills. The voices didn’t stop. It felt like they were entering me, taking over every part of my body. My head felt like it was about to explode into a million pieces. They got louder and louder until I couldn’t take it anymore. I stopped swimming, letting myself sink. The water engulfed my whole body, entering my mouth and filling my lungs. The voices got quieter and quieter until there was only one left, loud and clear, telling me to “wake up”.

That’s when I opened my eyes, sweat dripping from my forehead and my breath uncontrollably fast. I never had a dream like that. I never woke up so disorientated. I wanted to tell someone about this dream, have someone explain to me what the meaning behind it is. I wanted to know if I’m really losing my mind.

August 27th, 1878

Day 50 on sea

I am losing my mind.

This can’t be real. I am writing this down to make sure I am wide awake and not dreaming.

I woke up from a noise. At first, I thought I was imagining it, because lately I’ve been imagining a lot of things. I wanted to go back to sleep, being exhausted from, well, doing absolutely nothing all day long, but then I heard it again.

It wasn’t just a noise. It was a melody, a very beautiful one. It sounded like the gateway to heaven, like it was sung by angels. And it made me feel drowsy.

I knew I needed to rest more, but something about this melody pulled me in. It made me forget the throbbing pain in my body and the events that happened days before. All it made me want to do was reach it, engrave it into my skin. It made me want to never hear anything else.

I was in a trance, no thoughts inside my head anymore.

So, I got up, walked out onto the deck of the ship to find out where this melody comes from. But when I reached the deck, I didn’t expect to see a boy sitting on the railing.

But it wasn’t an ordinary boy. Oh, no. Not like the ones I’ve seen in my town growing up. I can’t describe him in any other way than captivating. His jet-black hair softly swayed in the night wind, covering his eyes every few seconds. His cheeks adopted a soft rosy color from the coldness, contrasting the tan of his skin. And his eyes were almost as dark as the night sky.

I don’t know why I stared at him for such a long time, and I don’t know why he let me.

“You’re here.” Those were his first words. The first time I heard his voice. A voice that made time stop for a moment. I couldn’t hear the waves crashing against each other anymore, or the cracking of the old wood the ship was built with. I couldn’t even hear my heartbeat pumping against my chest. All I could hear was him. “I was waiting for you.”

“Who are you?” That was not what I wanted to ask him at that moment, but the sane part of my brain must have sensed that something wasn’t right. Something about the way my body reacted to this strange man was dubious.

“Haechan.”, he spoke with a soft voice, turning his body so that he fully faced me. A smirk was placed on his lips, only intensifying his tantalizing physique. “And you are?”

“Y/n.” My name came out in a mere whisper, fearing that my voice might have broken if I spoke any louder. I couldn’t stop staring at him, still having been sure that my mind was playing a trick on me or, well, still is.

For days no one has checked in on me, no one has talked to me more than five words. I’ve been on this ship for way too long seeing nothing but the endless nothingness of the sea. My mind has been plagued with recuring thoughts, never once having a quiet moment. Maybe this is the final sign. Maybe this is it. I am insane. So insane that I’m imagining a boy sitting on the rail of the ship just so that I have someone to talk to.

“A beautiful name for a beautiful girl.” Reaching one hand out, the boy signaled me to come closer to him. Every part of my body longed to take his hand and sit on the rail with him, but doubts started floating my brain.

“What are you doing here? How did you get on this ship?” Haechan, as I learned his name, just chuckled, a low sound that was so different from his honey voice. He looked amused at my asking, almost like he was making fun of me.

“Why did you come out here, Y/n?” I remember frowning at him, clearly feeling upset that he chose to ignore my question and ask one of his own. I felt upset that this boy, which I probably made up in my mind, didn’t show any respect for me at all. He, just like the others, ignores what I have to say, and I didn’t want to get treated that way, not after what happened last time.

So, instead of answering him, I turned around, heading back to my bed. But before I could even take a step, the melody I heard earlier started again. All the thoughts that I had in my mind at that moment flew away and I was, yet again, caught in a trance. It was like I couldn’t escape, even if I wanted to.

“It’s you.”, I whispered, but he still heard me. I knew that because the melody got louder, clearer. I closed my eyes, letting his voice enter every part of my body. I let it fill me up and shut me down at the same time. I let it rearrange my mind and mend my wounds, but I also let it cut me open and bleed me dry. I gave myself into the sweet penetration of his honey laced voice and wanted nothing more than to make all his wishes and desires come true. I would have given him the world if it was possible. My whole body felt like it was floating on top of a cloud, high up in the sky and there was no way of ever coming down again. I was trapped.

“Come closer.”, he murmured, voice deeper and almost impending.

“No.”, I quivered, suddenly scared of ever opening my eyes again.

“Please, Y/n.”, he pleaded, and I could nearly hear the desperation in his voice. “Just please look at me.” And so, I did. He was not sitting on the rail anymore, he was standing right in front of me. A small smile on his lips and one hand stretched out to me. “Come closer please. I don’t want anything else from you.”

And as I was about to take the step towards him, give in to his demand and the growing need inside of me to grant all his wishes, I heard a voice behind me, calling out my name and breaking the trance I was in.

“Y/n?”

Turning around, I saw my brother standing further away from me, dressed in his nightly gown. “What are you doing out of your bed? You should rest, your body isn’t fully healed yet.”

“I was just talking to…” But when I looked for Haechan again, no one was standing there anymore. It was like I was alone all along. “I don’t know what I was doing.”

Suddenly I felt all the pain rush back into my body, my bones burning with fire, and I let out a loud groan as I fell to my knees.

“Y/n.” My brother rushed towards me, helping me up with his arms around me. “For someone who always seems so smart, you really aren’t the brightest.” I couldn’t even laugh at his words, my mind was too focused on the pain all over my body.

“You must have been sleep walking if you can’t remember what you were doing up there.” My brother said as he laid me back down into my bed and reached into a bucket of water to put a wet rag on my forehead. “Sleep now, okay? I will stop by in the morning again and check on you.” All I could do was nod my head at him, exhaustion consuming my body. He looked at me one last time before he left my room again.

And now I’m sitting here, writing in my foolish dairy and reminiscing about the strange boy I met. I must have imagined him. How could anyone come up onto the ship? I didn’t see another boat, nor did any other member of the crew. And the possibility of someone appearing out of the blue is also not likely.

The only possibility that is left is that I am losing my mind. That I imagined all of it out of pure loneliness and frustration. This expedition should have been educational for me. It should have proven to all the men that I, as a woman, can do what they can do. That I can be an explorer, a brave one even, and that I have the ability to find something new. That is why we started this journey, because we wanted to discover unknown things.

But all I am doing now is proving everyone exactly what they think of me, that I am small and weak. That I am not an explorer and that I should have just stayed at home. That I am not brave and definitely not smart. I proved to them that I am fragile and well, mental.

But no one has to know about it. No one has to know what happens in my head or the things I imagine. No one has to know I am practically insane and desperate. I could just simply fake it. Isn’t that what everyone does? Faking confidence.

Maybe if I fake it long enough and convince everyone that what they are saying and thinking about me is wrong, I might convince myself as well. Maybe I can convince my brain I’m fine while pretending to be.

So, from now on, everything’s okay. I am not insane, and I certainly am not imagining weird things.

I am okay.

Everything is okay.

August 29th, 1987

Day 52 on sea

Everything is not okay.

Yesterday the boy didn’t show up again. I wasn’t exactly looking for him, since my father spent most of the night in my room making sure I wouldn’t ‘sleep-walk’ again, but I can’t lie and say I wasn’t disappointed not to hear his beautiful melody again.

I asked my dad if there is a word for the feeling of craving for someone, for feeling like the person took a part of you with them when they left and you long to be reunited with them. When all your thoughts are consumed with them, and your body is itching to be in the mere presence of that person. But also fearing the actual return of that person and the power they hold over you and your emotions. He told me it is called “withdrawal”.

“It is mostly referred to drugs such as alcohol.”, he explained to me as he tried to brush out the knots in my hair. “But I think it can be applied to humans as well. You know, sometimes we long for people we can’t have or people that aren’t good for us. We see the signs, but we ignore them. We give in to the sweet yearning and get hurt in the process. But if we don’t give in and the yearning grows stronger, we crave it even more. We think about the person every day, imagine their scent, their eyes, their voice. We imagine them being in a room with us, talking and laughing with us. We do the things that are most painful to us just to have what we long for, even if we know it’s not good for us. And it hurts, physically and emotionally.”

I turned around to look at him, inspect his face and read what he was feeling when he said those things. “It sounds like you have experience with that feeling.” My father just shrugged and at that moment he looked older. He looked like an old man who has been through too much in his life. A man who deserves a break.

“I’ve been around much longer than you, dear. There were mistakes made and hearts torn, but it all worked out at the end.”

“How?”, I ask, curious as to how such a sad feeling still turned into something good.

“Because I got you, and your brother. That’s my happy ending.” I wanted to cry. I wanted to storm into his arms and never let him go. But I didn’t do any of those things. I just smiled at him, nodded my head and hoped that was enough for him. Because while his words filled my heart to the brim with love, my body still ached, not from the pain but for the boy I only met once in my life.

That’s why I tried to ignore the melody a few hours ago when it started again. Father went back to his bed a few minutes before, wanting to get some well-deserved sleep, leaving me alone in my room. I, as well, wanted to get some rest, but then I heard it. It was loud and clear, and more beautiful than I had remembered it to be. Almost immediately I felt my whole mind switch, forgetting the conversation I had had with my father. All that was in my head was him, Haechan.

I wanted to see him, no, I needed to see him. I felt lost without him, so empty and incomplete. I felt like my world wasn’t spinning correctly, time was going backwards, and the stars were falling out of the sky. Nothing felt right anymore. Not until I was with him.

I reached my door, but before I could open it something woke me up. Not from a dream, but from a trance. A smell, a very familiar one. It took up all my senses and brought me back to reality.

I realized what I was about to do and quickly sat back down on my bed, not daring to even set a foot on the floor anymore. It was frightening, what I felt just then. The longing I felt, just from one simple melody. I don’t know this boy, why would I feel so strongly about him? Why does he have so much power over my emotions?

His melody got louder. For a moment my head felt like it was exploding. He sounded sad, sorrowful. It broke my heart into pieces hearing him so vulnerable, longing for me the same way I was longing for him. But I didn’t give in. A part of me, I don’t know which one, knew it was wrong to see him again. So, I stayed on my bed, legs tightly pressed against my chest and my hands on my ears, trying to cover his despairing voice.

10 minutes ago, it stopped. It just went away, like it was never there in the first place. Curiosity almost got the best of me and wanted to check if he really left, but I was too scared, I still am.

I don’t know what he is doing to be, why he is here and why he is targeting me. But I know that whatever he is doing, it can’t be with good intentions. A person that makes another person feel such outrageous things, can’t be here for anything good.

Maybe it shouldn’t matter so much. Because, after all, I made him up. He isn’t real so whatever he is doing isn’t going to hurt me. I think my mind is reflecting this pain on me to make sense of why it’s slowly decapitating. It’s trying to distract me from the actual damage in my brain.

At least that is the only logical answer to all of this. Because anything other would be, well, crazy and I’m not crazy. I might lose my mind, but I am not crazy.

August 30th, 1878

Day 53 on sea

Maybe I am a bit crazy, and reckless, and irresponsible and plain stupid.

“You left me standing here for a long time yesterday. I missed you, darling.” But I couldn’t help myself but visibly relaxing as I heard his voice again.

It was all I could think about all day long. Him and his melody. I wanted to feel it again. Feel it in my veins, feel it shutting out all the thoughts in my head. I just wanted this bothering craving to go away. I think it got so bad that even Jisung, someone who barely talks to me, noticed it.

“Are you okay? Don’t you like the food?”, he asked as he watched me stare at the food in front of me.

“Oh, sorry. It’s not the food, don’t worry. I just didn’t get much sleep last night.” I gave him a little smile, grabbing a fork and shoving some food in my mouth.

“Is there a reason behind it? I hope it wasn’t me.” Jisung looked a bit guilty as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I spent the whole night cooking because I also couldn’t sleep. I hope I wasn’t too loud and kept you awake.”

“Oh, so that was what I smelled yesterday.” Internally, I couldn’t help but to be grateful for the boy sitting in front of me. After all, was he the reason why I didn’t give in to see Haechan. But I couldn’t tell him that. I was already glad someone decided to speak to me, I didn’t want to ruin it by my insanity. “But no, that was not what kept me up. I mean I smelled it, but I just had too much going on inside my mind to rest.”

The boy just nodded his head, shoving a fork full of food in his mouth. “Care to share some of your thoughts?”, he says with his mouth still full of food. He looked like a child in that moment, with his eyes wide and his mouth dirty with crumps.

“Just thinking a lot more about my mother lately.”, I told him, only half lying. Mother has been on my mind a lot lately, but that obviously wasn’t the reason why I couldn’t sleep. “I miss her. I mean I always miss her, but being so far away from home just makes me miss her more. You know, I see her everywhere. In the books I read, the words I write. I see her in the ocean, feel her in the air and smell her in every scent. It’s bizarre.”

“No, it’s not.”, Jisung disagreed, putting his fork down and propping his elbow up on the table to lean his face on his hand. “I miss my mother too. I mean, she isn’t dead, but her and my father are no longer together. She left with my sister, my father kept me, and I haven’t seen her in three years. I miss her too sometimes. But I think I miss the things she did for me more than I miss her. When I was a child, I always had trouble falling asleep so she would always tell me a bedtime story. I think that is why some nights I can’t seem to fall asleep.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that, Jisung. Next time you have trouble sleeping just get me. I can also tell you bedtime stories.”

He nodded yet again, showing me another one of his smiles. “Thank you, Y/n. And you know what? I think you are really brave. I wanted to say that to you earlier, but I never had the guts to actually do. I think that we can all be grateful that someone like you joined this expedition. We really need more smart crewmates on this ship.”

But I don’t think I am that smart anymore. I don’t think I even deserve to be called smart anymore. Because every single thing about the decisions I make is anything other than smart. And as I looked into the deep brown eyes of the boy in front of me, that only got confirmed.

“No answer? No ‘I missed you too’?” His voice had an alluring tone, soothing all the wounds inside me and doing things to my body I am too embarrassed to admit. “What a shame, sweet girl. I was pretty sure I could sense your longing for me yesterday. Maybe I was wrong.”

I didn’t know what to answer. And I honestly am glad I didn’t, positive that my voice would have come out in nothing but a pathetic whisper. Haechan was walking closer to me again, reaching his hand out again to hover over the skin of my arm but never touching me.

“Can you feel that?”, he whispers, eyes never leaving mine. “Can you feel the goosebumps slowly forming on your skin, the shiver down your spin?” He waited for me to answer him, but all I could do was nod. “Words, sweetheart.”

“Yes.” I answered him, voice cracking with that one simple word. “Yes, I can feel that.”

“Good. That is exactly what I want you to feel.” He took a few steps back again, so he was leaning against the railing. “Why did you decide to come here tonight? Couldn’t get enough of me?”

I just shrugged my shoulders, not really knowing myself what the actual reason behind me coming to see him again was. “Why do you keep calling for me?”

“Calling for you? How exactly am I calling for you?” Cocking his head to the side, still wearing a smirk on his lips. But I don’t want to get too detailed about his face, still feeling a bit embarrassed of the things I felt in that moment.

“The melody your singing, it’s for me. You are calling me with your melody.” A chuckle left his lips, melodic like his voice.

“How can you be so sure of that? What if I just like to sing pretty melodies?” His question sounded so innocent and for a moment I was uncertain about my statement, fearing I might have misinterpreted everything. But I knew what I was feeling. I knew that his melody was meant to be for me and no one else. I know it might sound crazy, but the thought of him singing this melody, my melody, for someone else felt unsettling.

“Because if you sung it for someone else, they would stand here instead of me. No one else is responding to your melody, only me, so it must be for me.” For a few seconds there was nothing but silence around us. Haechan wasn’t saying a thing, seeming like he was thinking about his next words. And I didn’t say anything, fearing that if I might, he would disappear again.

“You’re right.”, he finally spoke up. “It is for you.”

“But why? Why do you sing this melody for me?”

“Because I wanted to meet you, Y/n. From the moment I first saw you, I knew I got to have you. I got to be with you. I craved nothing more than to talk to you, to simply be blessed to be in the mere presence of you. I am longing for you, the same way you are longing for me, my love.” I couldn’t believe what he was saying to me. His words filled up my heart, and I started feeling lightheaded.

He was craving for me. He wanted to meet me. Everything that I am feeling towards him, as strange as those emotions are, he is feeling for me as well. His words were the most beautiful, heart wrenching thing I have ever heard in my inter life. I felt lucky to be seen this way, to be wanted this way, never actually having had someone tell me that before.

He really went all this way, just to meet me. Singing this melody, coming up this ship. But isn’t it a bit strange as well? I remembered not seeing another ship anywhere nearby. Where did he come from? How did he see me? Questions started filling my mind again, shaking me awake.

“What did you mean when you said you wanted to meet me from the first time you saw me? When did you see me?” I could see his body tensing up. Maybe he wasn’t expecting such a question.

“I can answer your question, but first you have to come with me. Please, Y/n. I will tell you everything, just please come with me. I don’t want to be apart from you anymore.”

“Haechan.” I looked at his hand, which was reaching for me again, motioning me to take it in mind. “Where do you want to take me? I mean there is no other ship anywhere near.”

“Y/n, just trust me, okay? Come with me and I will make the thoughts in your head disappear. I will make everything heal for you.” His hands hovered over my arms again, almost as if he couldn’t touch me. I wanted him to. I wanted him to touch me so badly. But I could see that something in his eyes had changed. They were darker, more desperate and demanding, and I knew it was my time to leave.

“I can’t.”, I told him, taking a few steps back. “I have to get up early tomorrow.” And with that I left, not once looking back as I walked back into my room.

I don’t know if what I did was right, or if I upset him with my behavior.

All I hope for is that he isn’t mad at me and will forgive me when he comes back. If he comes back.

August 31st, 1878

Day 54 on sea

He did in fact come back.

“Missed me?” There was something more gentle in the way he was talking to me today. Something more reserved.

“What if I did?” That made him smile, not smirk like he normally does. Haechan showed me a bright honest smile. And all I could think about was that he never looked more ethereal than in that moment.

“Then I will be highly pleased, my love. You know why?” I shook my head as a no, waiting for him to continue his sentence. “Because I missed you too?”

“You did?”

“Of course, I did. You were all I could think about all day long, pretty girl.” He stayed a bit further away from me too today and I wondered why. I asked myself if he didn’t want to be close to me again or if he felt rejected after what happened yesterday. “I couldn’t stop thinking about your sweet smile, your beautiful eyes and your lovely voice. I couldn’t wait to see you again.”

“Why don’t you touch me?”, I said out of the blue, catching not only myself, but him off guard as well. “You never touch me. You only hover your hands above my skin. Why?”

He smiled again, sweet and kind. “Because if I touch you once, I will never be able to stop again.”

“What if I don’t want you to stop?” He only shook his head, turning around to face the stars instead of me. But I didn’t want him to look away, I wanted him to look at me, because when he does look at me, I can feel again.

“I am sorry about yesterday, you know? I am sorry I was too intrusive, I let myself get caught up in my emotions.” I had to process his words, that being the last thing I thought would come out of his mouth. Never once had a men apologized to me for anything. I am so used to getting treated like nothing and it being normal in a society like the one I grew up with. Never once has anyone cared so much about me to consider my emotions and apologize for a mistake.

“Thank you.”, I just whispered, trying to swallow the tears. “That means a lot to me.” I decided to join him at the rail, watch the stars with him for a little while.

“Do you know that I think you are not real? I think I am imagining you, because for the past weeks I have been slowly losing my mind. Seeing the same things every day, not talking to anyone and having to deal with all those thoughts in my head. I think I started imagining you so I could just stop time for a while.”

“But I am real.”, he said, looking deep into my eyes. “I am real. You are not insane, and you are definitely not imagining me. I can prove that to you. Just take my hand and you will see.”

“Why does that feel like a trap?”, I asked him, watching his face, trying to read his emotions. But it stayed the same. His smile didn’t butch for a second and his eyes still held the same gentleness.

“I don’t know what you are talking about, Y/n. There is no trap. I am just offering you evidence to your lingering questions about your own sanity. I am just trying to be nice to you, but if you don’t appreciate that.”

“No, no I do. I am grateful for your kindness. You just sounded so demanding, and it made me doubtful.”

“I am so sorry, my sweet girl. It was never my intention to make you doubt me. That will never happen again, okay? All I want is the best for you. Nothing more.” I just nodded, eyes facing the wooden floor of the ship. “I am going to tell you the story of why I so desperately wanted to talk to you, since I didn’t yesterday. Maybe that will cheer you up a bit again.”

“I wanted to talk to you because I was mesmerized by you. Because there are not a lot of people out there like you. People so willing to learn and to explore. I never met a woman like you, someone so strong minded and independent. I loved how you never let anyone talk bad to you and I love how despite the negative things the men on this ship say about you, you still stay here. You prove to them every day that you are capable of being on such an expedition and that you are more qualified than they could ever be. And I just knew I had to talk to you, I had to have you in my life.”

And it was like he knew what I needed to hear. Like he knew my deepest darkest thoughts and all the things I was craving to ever be told by someone. It was like he spoke right into my soul and built up this newfound strength. I felt empowered, I felt loved. But yet again, I was also wondering how he could know all those things about me.

“Why do you know all that, Haechan?”

“I told you already, Y/n. I was longing for you.” It didn’t make sense. His answer didn’t make any sense. Was he avoiding my question? Or maybe he understood the question wrong, thinking this was an answer that would satisfy me. But it didn’t.

“That doesn’t answer my question. How can you possibly know about all those? We just met.”

I could hear a sigh leaving his lips, the long and frustrated kind. I am familiar with those, having heard them a thousand times from my father and brother. And I asked myself if I, yet again, upset him with my question. If I should have just kept quiet and appreciated his kind words and moved on from the topic.

“And yet again you don’t appreciate my kindness. All I do is be nice to you, proving to you that I am real and trustworthy, and you still doubt me. Don’t you know how much that hurts me? Do you?” His voice rose visibly, nostrils flaring and eyes growing wider. Haechan wasn’t looking like himself at that moment. He almost looked inhumane.

“I am sorry, Haechan. Please don’t say that. I do trust you. Please, I’m sorry.”, I started begging him, reaching for his hand, which he pulled away. “Please.” Tears filled my eyes and my whole body started hurting again, like it was slowly breaking apart from the inside out.

“You hurt me, Y/n. I don’t think your apology can fix this.”

And this time it was him walking away, disappearing into the darkness, and leaving me standing at the same spot, mourning for him like I had just lost a person to death.

September 1st, 1878

Day 55 on sea

I could see the surprise on his face when he saw me standing there, waiting for him this time, not needing his melody to be called. But the look of surprise quickly faded away and a smirk replaced it instead.

“I see you don’t even need my melody anymore.” It almost sounded cocky the way he said it.

“I wanted to be here first so I could apologize to you.”, I spoke the words with so much sincerity, wanting him to believe me and see that I genuinely mean the apology. “I am really sorry for hurting your feelings yesterday. It was never my intention. All I want to do is make you happy, Haechan, and I am so sorry that I failed to do so.”

He looked at me for a few seconds, brows raised, before he shrugged his shoulders. “What will you do if I don’t accept your apology?”

I didn’t hesitate when I spoke my next words. “I will beg for your forgiveness. I will beg until you accept my apology. I will do anything you want me to.”

“Anything I want you to?”, he asked, and I just nodded my head at him, desperation fulling my actions and probably written all over my face. “I will hold onto that one.”

“Does that mean you forgive me?” Haechan shrugged again, taking a few steps forward into my direction. Looking at him in that moment, I didn’t think he looked hurt. Normally people have this look on their face when their feelings got hurt, quivering lips, wide and sad eyes, body folding in on itself. But Haechans eyes were almost narrowed, and he was towering over me, almost like he was looking down at me. My father once told me people do that to prove their dominance over the other person, but I don’t think that was what Haechan wanted to do in that moment. Or was it?

Maybe Haechan is just like my brother, a person who has to hide their true feelings behind a stone-cold face to demonstrate strength. Or maybe he just didn’t want me to see him hurt by me to make me feel less guilty. Because I was and still am feeling bad for making him feel that way yesterday. I still regret my words and wish I would have just shut my mouth. I should do that more often, shutting my mouth in some situations. It would have saved me from a lot of things.

“I’m still thinking about it. Maybe I will tell you my answer at the end of the night.” That gave me some hope. Even though he didn’t yet accept my apology, he still wanted to spend time with me and that was more than enough for me.

“I saw you talking to that Jisung guy again today.” Haechan was still towering over me, hands in the pockets of his pants and eyes narrowing in on my face. “What is so intriguing about him that you talk so much to him?”

“Did you watch me?”, I asked him, shock lacing my voice. Jisung and I only talked in the kitchen today. I was hungry since I overslept in the morning and didn’t have breakfast. When I walked into the kitchen to grab myself something, Jisung was standing there, preparing the fish for dinner. We spent some time together, me eating my food and him cooking more. There wasn’t a lot of conversation, we just basked in the presence of each other.

“I asked you a question first.”, Haechan voice got lower again. I could only describe it as sinister. There was an undertone in that one small sentence, something that told me I should not say the wrong thing. So, I took a moment to gather my thoughts, fight through the mess in my head and find an answer that will satisfy him.

“He isn’t interesting to me.”, I tell him, keeping my voice clear and loud. “He is just the only person that talks to me when you aren’t here. There is nothing more to it.”

“It didn’t look like that earlier, sweetheart. I thought the two of you looked very cozy in that kitchen, sneaking glances at each other.” He let out a sound similar to a ‘tsk’ and shook his head in a mocking manner. “Am I not enough for you anymore? Do you go around and search for other men when I’m not around? Are you so desperate and needy for attention?”

“No.”, I whispered, feeling even the small last bit of confidence leaving my body. Haechan has a way of making me feel weaker and weaker, draining every last thought out of my head and making my body his. “No, Haechan.”

I felt my legs give him, sinking to my knees. My body felt so heavy but at the same time so light. Haechan kneeled down in front of me, lowering his head so he was looking right into my eyes. “You can’t talk to other men, Y/n. You are mine only, do you understand?” All I could do was nod my head at him, but that didn’t satisfy him. “You belong to me, right, my sweet girl? I need you to say it.”

“I belong to you.”, I mumbled, not having the strength to fully open my mouth.

“That is right. You belong to me, your body belongs to me and even your mind belongs to me. You are all mine, pretty princess.” He took up all my senses. I could only see him, smell him, hear him, feel him everywhere. Like only he excited in this world and no one else.

Haechan leaned forward, his lips brushing the skin of my ear. I could feel his warm breath on my skin, and it sent shivers down my back. “Now come with me, darling. Take my hand and come with me. I will make sure you remember me forever.”

I reached for his hand, fingers brushing against each other, but before I could close them around his, a bright light shined a bit further away from us. Everything happened so fast after that. I heard footsteps, a voice and suddenly I felt empty. Haechan was no longer kneeling in front of me and right as I wanted to look for him, my body gave in, and I fainted onto the cold wooden floor.

I don’t know how I got into my bed, and I don’t know who brought me into my bed. All I know is that the moment I woke up again I craved Haechan even more than I did before and I know that the next time he asks me to come with him, I will do so, without any hesitation.

September 2nd, 1878

Day 56 on sea

Everything changed today. Everything I thought I knew, everything I thought I felt. A lie.

I can’t stop crying. My tears are flowing like an endless waterfall. I’m a mess, a disaster. How could I let this all happen? I thought I was smarter than this. I thought I was stronger than this. But I was blinded. I was corrupted, manipulated, used.

I feel dirty, like I haven’t washed in weeks. But I just did. I spent a long time trying to scrub away the dirt I felt, trying to scrub away the shame I felt. I put everyone, especially me, in danger with my reckless behavior, with my blindness, with my incompetence. I am a failure.

I spent the whole day ignoring everyone around me, not even looking at anyone that passed me by. I wanted to desperately prove to Haechan that I only want him and no one else, that everyone on this ship doesn’t matter to me. All that matters is him. I was hoping he was watching me again, being proud of me.

But unfortunately, there was one person I couldn’t avoid even if I tried to.

“You wanted to speak to me, father.”, I said as I entered my father’s office room. I have never been in that room, not once over all these weeks. The room was scattered in books, empty bottles and maps of the sea. I always imagined the room to be neater, at least that was what my father always seemed to be. But my mother told me once that your room reflects the mental state you were in. Maybe my father was also struggling with his sanity.

“Yes.”, he answered me, looking up from his book. “I wanted to see how you are feeling, after your little incident yesterday.”

“I’m feeling fine, father. Must have been me sleep walking again. There is nothing to worry about.”

He just hummed, his face showing the uncertainty he felt because of my words. My father mustered me for a few seconds, waiting for even a little muscle to twitch in my face to show him if I was lying. But I kept a straight face, looking him right into the eyes. “I am thrilled to hear that. And we will find a way to fix your nightly problem.”

Father went back to reading in his book, and even though I knew I shouldn’t, the curious part of me wondered what he was so engrossed in. I always loved the books my father reads, knowing that they are filled with new knowledge. “What are you reading?”

He held up the book, showing me the cover. “Knowledge about the mysteries of the ocean.”, I read out loud, furrowing my eyebrows at the title. What an odd book, I have never heard about that. “What mysteries are listed in the book?”

“Oh, just some fisher men tales. Mermaids, kraken, leviathan, sirens. All those tales which warn everyone on ships about the dangers of the sea.”

“Sirens? I have never heard of them. What are they?” My father turned his book around, showing me the page, he was just reading. On it was a drawn picture of what looked to be a half bird, half fish creature. My stomach started to turn, the longer I looked at it, frightened by its appearance.

“This book says that sirens are mythical creatures, half bird, half fish. Through their angelic singing they lure in fishermen to kill them. It is said that their voice lures them in, but their face is what makes the fishermen stay.”

“Their face?”, I asked, not believing that for a second.

“They put you in a trance with their voice and make you see whoever you most desire. They are insidious, malicious creatures, feared by everyone who ever entered the ocean. They are dangerous, Y/n.” He looked me in the eyes, as if he knew something I didn’t. As if he wanted to tell me more with the last sentence.

“Do you really believe they exist? To me that just sounds like fishermen making up excuses as to why they didn’t bring any fish home.”

My father let out a long sigh, head shaking. He turned the book back to him and stared at the picture for a few more seconds, before closing the book again. “You could be right, Y/n. I mean you have always been the realistic one in this family. But as long as there is no proof that they don’t exist, I will have to believe those tales. It’s better to believe and find out they don’t exist, than to not believe and find out they do exist.”

I couldn’t stop thinking about his words after I left his office. They kept spinning around my head, swirling and clashing against other thoughts. And they were connecting. My thoughts were connecting together, and suddenly there was only one thought left. One person in my mind, and not for the reasons he had been in my mind for the past few days.

But I didn’t want to admit that. Not even to myself. It couldn’t be. It wasn’t true. Those useless tales were nothing but fiction, made up stories to save the fishermen from embarrassment and disappointment. Nothing more and nothing less.

Because I knew Haechan. I knew he wasn’t capable of something like that. He wasn’t a creature designed to prey on innocent people. Or was he?

I couldn’t help but smile as I heard the familiar melody, as I felt it sink deep under my skin and erase everything inside of me. I loved the pain it inflicted on my heart, the way the melody ripped me apart into a million pieces. I loved how for the first few seconds everything stopped being important to me. Breathing, feeling, living. Nothing felt important for a few seconds. Nothing but him.

Haechan leant against the rail of the ship, hands in his trousers and a smirk on his lips. It almost felt like a déjà-vu. I remembered how I felt when I first saw him. Feelings that were once so innocent and unfamiliar are now unconditional and fierce. “My pretty girl.”, he whispered, and I felt the weight on my shoulders lift. “Are you ready?”

“Ready for what?”, I asked, taking a few steps closer to him. I was craving his closeness, his touch. I needed him to touch me, anywhere. I didn’t mind where.

“Ready to come with me.” My head was clouded, brainwashed by his beautiful voice. But wasn’t that exactly what my father told me, what he warned me about. “I can see your doubt in me, sweetheart. What is it that is plaguing your beautiful mind?”

“Do you plan on killing me?” I don’t know why I asked him that question. I don’t know how I got the strength to break out of the haze, even just a little bit.

“Killing you? Why would I kill you?” His eyes darkened and I could see his body language changing. I could see all of him changing. Haechan let out a chuckle before walking into my direction, stopping when he was right behind me. Brushing my hair back, never once touching me, as he leant down to whisper into my ear.

“I really wanted to kill you at first, my sweet girl. I wanted nothing else but to rip you apart.” My body shut down, letting me fall weakly to my knees just like the day before. I couldn’t keep my eyes open for more than five seconds. Haechan kneeled down in front of me, yet again and placed his hand on my cheek. Finally, I could feel him. I could feel the one thing I craved most, his touch. But it didn’t feel how I imagined it to. Instead of lifting me up and making me basked in comfort, it made me flinch. His touch made me want to never see the light of day ever again. “But how could I kill such a beautiful thing? You are my precious girl, aren’t you? So sweet and special.”

I wanted to run, get away from him. I wanted to do anything but to stay with him, but my body didn’t let me. My body stayed down on the ground, heavy and useless. “Does it hurt, love? Does my touch and my words hurt you?” He didn’t need an answer because he knew. He knew how every bone in my body felt like it was on fire as soon as he muttered those words. He knew all I wanted was to make this growing pain stop. “Just come with me. I will make the pain stop.”

When I looked up at him, I saw only a glimpse of him. His skin was pale blue, scales all over it, and his teeth were sharp and long. This wasn’t the boy I met a few nights ago, the boy who made me feel like I was floating on the clouds and the boy who gave me a reason to live. This was a creature, a monster. A siren.

“Go away.”, I croaked out with the last strength I had left in my body.

“Oh no, you poor thing. Don’t be like that.” Not even his voice sounded like the sweet melody I once heard. It didn’t give me sweet pleasure anymore, it only gave me pain. “You love me, or have you forgotten? Have you forgotten all the feelings I inflicted on you? Have you forgotten how good you felt when you were with me? I can make that come back. You just have to come with me.”

“Go to hell.” I didn’t know that this simple sentence could mean the end of my life because the next thing I felt was a sharpness going through my body. And I knew this would be it. This would be the last few seconds before I was gone.

“Y/n!”, I heard someone shout, loud and piercing. I opened my eyes, only to have my vision be blurry. I tried to move, look who that voice belonged to and if I was imagining it again. “Go away and never come back, or I will have you killed and each and everyone of you creatures on this planet.”

I took a hurtful breath and it felt as if my lungs were filled with broken pieces of glass. My eyes tried to stay open, but I didn’t have the strength. “No, Y/n. Stay awake. Please don’t leave me.”

Whiteness surrounded me, filling me up and taking me in. Silence. I heard nothing more than silence. I tried looking around, kicking and fighting as I was trapped in nothing but endless vastness. Far away from me I could see something, or someone waiting for me. I tried to walk towards it, reaching my arms out to grab it, but I never came close.

“It’s not your time yet, Y/n.” And before I could question those words, my eyes opened.

It took me a few seconds to regain my vision, seeing the familiar walls of my room. As I remembered just what had happened, I felt panic filling my body, my breaths coming out faster than normal and my mind spiraling in wild circles.

“It’s okay, Y/n.”, I heard the voice of my father first before I felt his arms around my body, pulling me tightly into him. “Your safe. Nothing can hurt you anymore.”

I looked up at him with wide eyes and my mouth agape. I felt like a little kid again, crying in the arms of my father after having a bad dream. Just that this wasn’t a dream. This is reality.

“It’s okay. We are on our way back home. That creature will never find you again, we made sure of that, okay?” My father held me with so much delicacy, fearing he might break me. “You’re safe. I won’t let anyone, or anything hurt you again.”

And I believed him. There in the arms of my father I believed his words. So, I closed my eyes, let the sleep consume me and hoped that this promise would be one he could keep.

September 10th, 1878

Day 64 on sea

I let the salt air take away all the scars of the past weeks as I watched the soft waves flow under the setting sun. This was the first time in eight days that I had the courage to leave my room. I couldn’t face the place where everything happened. The place where I almost lost myself.

I closed my eyes and imagined the soft grass under my toes, the chirping birds in my ear and the blinding sunlight in my eyes. I imagined biting into a sweet apple, feeling the fresh morning air on my skin and smiling at the veracity of the moment.

“Daydreaming again?”, I heard a voice in front of me, making an actual smile appear on my lips. A smile I haven’t let myself show in a long time.

“What brings you out here? Shouldn’t you be in your bed, sleeping like everyone else is?” Jisung just shrugged his shoulders, his hair softly swaying in the wind.

He showed me a sweet smile, sitting down beside me and taking one of my hands in his. “I am not going to ask you how are doing, since everyone else does that every day.” I nodded at him, grateful for not hearing the repeating question out of his mouth as well. “But I am going to ask you if you still feel the withdrawal, you told me about.”

My eyes filled with tears again and I tried my best to swallow them down. “Yes.”, I mumbled, looking down, too ashamed to let him see me this way. To let him see me so weak and pathetic. “Yes, I still feel it, every day. I long for him, and I know it isn’t right. He isn’t who he showed me to be. I know I was blinded by a trance. I was blinded by need. I know what I am feeling isn’t right and that he wasn’t right. But for a few seconds, for a few seconds every day, it felt real. For a few seconds every day I could just be. I could be me. I could forget the pain and my thoughts, and I could breathe.”

Jisung just nodded his head, not letting go of my hand, but he didn’t say a word. I appreciated that. I appreciated the quietness of him. Because as opposed to the others, he didn’t lecture me on my feelings. He didn’t tell me how it is wrong to feel the way I do and how I should have seen all this coming. He didn’t try to tell me how to move past this, or how to continue living my life. Jisung just stayed silent.

“Why are you awake?”, I asked him after a few moments, breaking the silence he gifted me.

“I couldn’t sleep. And the last time I told you about my sleeping problems, you told me you could tell me a story, like my mother did. A bedtime story to make me fall asleep.” I let the tears that still lingered in my eyes roll down my cold cheeks, as I nodded my head. “Will you tell me one?”

“Yes. Yes, of course. I will tell you any story you want.”

And so, I did.

I told everyone my story.

Bonus

“What took you so long?”

Haechan swam into the cave, brushing past everyone that was looking at him with expecting eyes. He ignored them all and just kept swimming.

“Answer my question.”, Jeno spoke louder this time, but Haechan just kept swimming. He didn’t care that everyone was waiting for him, waiting for him to fulfill his promise, to fulfill all the promises he had made for the past weeks.

“We had a fight.”, he told Jeno with a shrug of his shoulders, nonchalant about the other one’s questions. Haechan could see the disappointment and anger in the faces of everyone in the cave, and he couldn’t care less. He knew what he was doing was right. He knew it was necessary to go through all these lengths to get what he wanted, what everyone wanted.

“A fight?”, his friend repeated, skeptic lingering in his voice. “This isn’t a game, Haechan. We put our trust and time in your hands. How long until this plan of yours backfires? How long until they notice that their ship hasn’t been moving in days? How long until they discover us and put an end us?”

“Jeno.”, Haechan’s eyes piercing into the older boy, voice clearly stating a warning. “Have you lost all your trust in me? I know what I am doing.”

“Are you?” Everyone was looking at the two, anticipating the outcome of this long-awaited conversation. “You were the one promising us you were going to get us this girl. You were the one convincing us how much you were craving her and how much we should as well. And we have given you time, but all you do is play around. This isn’t a game, Haechan. This will determine our lives. Without her, we will not survive, and you are very well aware of that.”

“This is where you are wrong, my dear friend.” Haechan turned his body, facing all the sirens watching him. “This is a game, and I am the leader of it. This girl we are talking about is different from everyone we have ever had. This one is special. She isn’t easily fooled by my tricks, by my voice. She has a smart mind, that one.” A wide grin appeared on the siren’s lips, making him almost look crazy, and his eyes narrowed on his friend yet again. “This one will bring us everything we have ever dreamt of. And it will work. The game I am playing, the fight we were having today, it will all work in the end.”

“How can you be so sure of that?” The question lingered in the quiet of the cave, the eyes of everyone looking at Haechan, faith and trust all in his hands.

“Because it is all going according to plan.”, he announced, voice thick with pride and confidence. “It is all going according to my plan.”

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