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#why don't you do anything they say as you work on something else that needs doing because you aren't doing what they want
lixxpix · 2 days
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we can't be friends - l.mh
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genre: idol!minho x reader, lovers to exes to lovers
tw: angst, hurt, breaking up, erasing of memories (almost) , mutual pining, did i mention angst, reader is kinda depressed, like two kisses ig
status: delivered !
word count: 4.0k
author's note: aaaa omd it's finally done >< reblogs + likes are appreciated!!
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lee minho. your muse, your life, your heart.
he broke your heart one stormy sunday night and you hated him as you watched him leave with tears in both of your eyes.
granted, he did break your heart for your own good, to save you from the dangers of being with him. but you didn't care, not when he was your universe, your world. you would gladly take a bullet for him.
just as he would take a bullet for you.
minho knew leaving would break you, just as much as it would break him, but he needed to do it. life as an idol was already dangerous enough with all the death threats and saesangs, but the moment 'fans' caught even the slightest whiff of you they would hunt you down and hurt you, and minho simply couldn't let that happen. he knew you wouldn't care about all the danger as long as you were with him, but he did. minho would never forgive himself if something happened to you all because he had given in to his innermost wants and kept you by his side.
so he left.
november 8th, 2019, 8.46 pm.
"i want to break up." he said, one sunday night. the rain was pouring outside, flashes of thunder and lightning ringing through the sky occasionally. in the quiet and comfort of your shared apartment, with the dim glow of lamps illuminating your features, in that moment, for a split second, minho wanted to stay. he wanted to pretend everything was alright, to have you stay by his side and be happy together, but he knew he shouldn't. the two of you were eating dinner, sitting at the small round dining table in your kitchen tucking into your homemade kimchi stew. god, he would miss your kimchi stew, he thought miserably. 
"what?" your world felt like it had stopped, your hand frozen in place as you slowly tilted your head to look at your boyfriend sitting across from you.
"i... want to break up." he repeated robotically.
"minho, where is this coming from? did i do something wrong? please... just talk to me," you begged, panic starting to flood your mind as tears threatened to spill over. you couldn't believe what he had just said. the both of you had been perfectly fine before, the both of you were happy, why was he doing this? were you not good enough for him? did he fall in love with someone else? the thought alone made you weak.
"i just... it's for the best. i'm putting you in danger every day, fans will hurt you if they find out i'm with you. i can't let that happen."
"i don't care if they try to hurt me, minho. as long as i'm with you, it’s- " you reached for his hand, and could feel your heart finally sinking to the bottom as you saw his face, screwed into an expression of hurt and resignation as he shook his head.
"just... don't forget me in the future, okay?" before you could say anything, minho was already out of his seat, grabbing his coat and his phone, already reaching for the front door.
"wait! minho-" you jumped out of your seat in alarm and desperation, clinging to his arm as he looked back at you with a pained expression. 
"please- we can work this out, just don't leave me," you pleaded, tears already cascading down your face. you must've looked a pathetic mess in that moment, sniffling and sobbing, yet minho still thought you were the most beautiful person to ever exist as he memorised your face for one last time.
finally, minho turned around, cupping your face in his hands. your hands reached up to hold his, as he memorised your every detail for the last time. minho's lips found their way to your forehead, then the corner of your eyes, then your lips as he kissed you tenderly for the last time as you sobbed in his arms.  
"i'm sorry." he whispered, before pushing you back as you cried out and stumbled backwards, opening the door, walking out of the apartment and out of your life.
december 25th, 2019, 11.28 pm. 
your diary.
i still think of you, you know. i still see your face in the windows of that cafe shop we used to go to whenever i pass by. i know you're not in there, and i'm hallucinating. i can't go in there anymore, not without thinking of you. i can't even watch the television anymore without having to see your face. listened to your new comeback. that song was about me, wasn't it? 
it's christmas now. i adopted some presents for you. you would love them, the three cats. i named them soongie, doongie, and dori. quite fitting, they're playful like you. they'll never meet their father. i still wore your hoodie, the green one i always wore every christmas. you used to wear my red hoodie, but i guess you won't be here to wear it anymore. it still smells like you. 
i still wonder why you left. was such a pathetic excuse as me potentially being hurt the only reason why you would leave me? you knew i didn't care if i was hurt, so long as i was with you. you still left. i hate you for that, but deep down i could never hate you. i still love you.
january 7th, 2020, 2.35 pm.
you strolled down the busy streets of seoul, a long oversized fluffy coat resting on your shoulders and your nose pink from the cold. a sigh of relief escaped your lips when you finally stepped foot into the cozy ambience of a random cafe alongside the road, the warm air blowing gently at you helping to relieve the coldness settling into your bones. ordering a latte and a small cake which were promptly delivered to your table, you settled down to scroll through the news.
new technology developed, scientists say new machinery can effectively target and erase memories of specific people and objects. is now being offered at multiple mental health clinics nationwide at a low cost, guaranteed 90% success rate. for sign-ups and further information, please contact...
you raised your eyebrows at the news, marvelling slightly at how advanced technology seemed to be developing at this rate. thinking nothing of it, you simply continued scrolling.
january 7th, 2020, 12.02 pm.
you sighed as you flopped onto your bed, tired from a day of work and countless emails sent. feeling a warm, soft head poke it's way under your arm, you smiled softly, hand reaching out to scratch doongie's head as he meowed in content. smiling softly, you felt two large lumps jump onto your bed and settle on you, soongie choosing to settle on your feet and dori choosing to burrow his way under you arm as you giggled. 
"soongie, you're so heavy," you laughing light-heartedly as your oldest cat let out a 'meow' of indignation at your words. 
minho would love the cats so much...
your smile drooped, feeling that warm familiar sensation pricking at your eyes again. 
god, how stupid. it had been two months already and you were still hung up on him. everywhere you went, you saw his face, on advertisments at the bus stop, billboards in the shopping districts, to even advertisments on youtube, and every single time your old memories with minho would surface and you would miss him again.
memories...
oh. the news of the memory erasure experiment.
would it hurt to try? you tried imagining forgetting minho. for him to just be another face on the billboard, a random k-pop idol to you. to forget you had ever even loved him and forget that he ever loved you. the pain would be gone. your heart would no longer ache each day, you would no longer think of him and he would no longer cloud your mind.
picking up your phone, your finger hovered above the 'call' button.
"hello? this is the seoul medical psychiatry clinic speaking. how may i help you?"
"i..." you paused, gnawing at your bottom lip.
"i would like to make an appointment."
january 19th, 2020, 1.28 pm.
"welcome! do you have a booked appointment?" the receptionist greeted cheerfully as you stepped into the reception and seating area of the clinic, a large box full of items in your hands. the hallways were filled with posters and quotes, the beanbags and seats painted in warm and soothing colours. 
"yes, doctor kim at 1.35pm." you answered, watching as the receptionist typed a few words into her computer.
"ah yes, under the name yoon y/n, right?" she clicked her tongue, "for... memory erasure?" she glanced at you with a look full of sympathy, as if you were some lost wounded puppy. 
"yes." you confirmed, lips pursing together slightly as you stared down at the box.
"good, and you've got your box of items already. do double check to make sure they are linked to that specific person only, we wouldn't want any erasure of other memories woth different people."
you swallowed the lump in your throat.
"yeah, i have." 
"great, we'll be calling for you later, the doctor will run you through the procedure and then the operation will commence. take a seat first," she gestured to the seating area. not long after, you heard your name.
"yoon y/n?" 
you hurriedly stood up, making your way towards the nurse and following her into the operation room. the operation room was white and cold, lacking any warmth and colour, filled with odd looking machinery and lab coats and tools. you were sat down on a chair, and your box of items given to the nurse who began taking them out one by one while another nurse attached a few wires to your skin to a machine on the right which measured your heart rate, a steady thump-thump-thump. the first nurse began to place your items in a row, scanning each one under a machine.
beep.
minho's green hoodie.
beep.
the snow globe the both of you had bought together at a winter festival.
beep.
polariods of you and him.
beep.
a cat plushie you had gifted him in celebration of his lastest comeback before he had left.
beep.
matching mugs the two of you had bought.
minho. everything, everywhere, everyone reminded you of minho. it felt like you were drowning, consumed by him.
"alright, i'll be placing the device on your head. the device will take you through individual memories of the person, but you will have to re-experience certain bigger core memories again as those take a longer time to process. if at any point should you feel distressed or want to stop, please press the red button beside you, and should you want to restore your memories we will reload them back into your brain. however, if you choose not to restore the memories, we will automatically delete them after 30 days." the doctor explained, showing you a strange contraption with two pulse points connecting to either side of your temple.
beside you, the heart rate measured by the machine started beeping faster.
you nodded. 
the cold, tingly terminals of the device connected with either side of your temples, the unfamiliar feeling odd and alienating. 
then all turned black.
"min! look, they have matching mugs! we should get them," you pointed excitedly to two mugs at a stall in a summer fair you and minho had just happened to pass by. you watched as your old self pointed to the mugs happily, "the world's best boyfriend" and "the world's best girlfriend" written on each mug respectively. "that's so cheesy," minho said, a grin on his face as he pulled you close to him by your waist. well, the old minho in your memories. it felt like a punch in the gut yet the cure to your pain as you stared at his face again in your re-lived memory, his oh-so-familar grin plastered on his stupidly handsome face. "yeah, but it's cute!" you exclaimed, turning to face minho. "pleaseeee," you begged, lips downturned in a pout and your eyes shining hopefully as you tugged on his arm. "fine," minho groans, eventually giving in into your request, feigning annoyace by rolling his eyes yet still smiling at your delighted expression. 
god, you missed him so much.
the memory shifted, warping into another blurry picture.
this time, it was another memory that faded in, a memory of you and him sitting in the living room unwrapping your christmas presents. minho tore open his box eagerly, laughing as he held up a green hoodie from his favorite brand gifted to him by you, coupled with some other things like perfume and a brand new wallet. "oops... might've gifted you an accidental matching hoodie by accident," he smiled sheepishly, as you opened your present, some jewelry with . "a red hoodie! now we can match," you snickered, pulling the soft hoodie over your head and slipping it on. "hey, we look like the christmas colours!" you laughed, pouncing on him and tackling him down to make him wear his one as he whined in protest. eventually you did managed to get him to put it on and pose for some pictures, albeit him being disgruntled but still giving in to you anyways.
a tear trickled down your face, landing on your lap as your hands on the chair tightened, gripping the armrests so hard your knuckles started turning white.
the memory started to fade away.
"min! the new comeback was so good, i watched the music video just now," you exclaimed, bounding up to him the moment he opened the front door to your shared apartment. "thanks baby," he smiled, leaning in for a quick peck but suddenly finding a soft plushie being thrust into his hands. it was a plush of a brown and white striped cat, soft to the touch and extremely squishable. "what's this for?" he raised eyebrow, cocking his head in confusion as he stared at you. "it's to celebrate your comeback, I figured i'd give you something to cuddle when i'm not around you," you smiled, "i named the cat mr sprinkles." "who names a plush toy mr sprinkles?" minho laughs, watching as you huff at him about how the name was cute and he was being mean. "thank you though, i appreciate it," he kissed you softly, smiling at the small act of love.
no, stop-
you started to whimper and thrash around.
fade to black again.
"min, look," minho turned to you as you were admiring the ornaments at a booth, the both of you coming across a christmas market and deciding to explore it. "it's a snow globe of us," you pointed out to a small snow globe, with a man and women as figurines in the center of the snow globe and fake snow swirling in the water around them. "it does look like us, doesn't it?" he hummed, pressing a soft kiss into your hair as you subconsciously leaned into him. "we should get it," he suggested, smiling at how your eyes lit up and how you pressed a kiss to his cheek. the two of you purchased the item, and then bought some hot chocolate to sip on to relieve the cold setting into your bones. "jagi-ah," minho called, prompting you to look up at him before gasping in surprise. the first snow of the season. "you know, they say the person you witness the first snow with will be with you for a long, long time." minho grinned, leaning down to kiss you tenderly before intertwining your hands. 
you didn't want to forget him, you realized, as you gasped for air, heartbeat skyrocketing as you tried to open your mouth to scream. no, you would never want to forget minho. you would rather cling onto those memories and deal with the pain forever than never having remembered him.
the memory faded.
you gasped in surprise as you ripped open the box, holding up a brand-new, shiny polariod camera wrapped in a gift box, its paper shreds used to cushion the camera hapazardly strewn about the floor.  minho watched you with a small smile on his face, eyes sparkling as he happily obliged to any pose you wanted to do with him, groaning half-heartedly but still laughing at the silly faces you made.
the memory started to fade again.
"STOP!" your finger found the red button, desperately pressing it in an attempt to get the machine to start working. all of a sudden, you were jolted back into your consciousness in the middle of the white sterile room again, heaving and gasping for air as you tried to adjust back to the surroundings. 
"are you okay? do you need to stop the operation?" the nurse asked, a concerned look on her face. beside you, the machine was beeping, a erratic rhythm.
beep. beep. beep. beep.
your hand reached up to fiddle with your necklace, looking left and right. you swallowed, a lump in your throat.
"yes."
----------
you stumbled out the clinic, hands clutching onto the box of items tightly as your eyes adjusted to the bright light of the sun. 
hands shaking, you pulled out your phone.
'my love,' the contact at the top of the screen read. you hadn't called him in months, ever since he had broken up with you. you has tried for a few weeks, but day after day of missed calls was heartbreaking.
you pressed the button.
one ring.
two rings.
three rings.
four rings...
"hello?"
a voice you hadn't heard for months. a voice you had only been hearing in your dreams.
"minho-" a strangled sob left your lips.
"please." you could only force out a choked plea, tears falling rapidly, stumbling onto a nearby bench. people started at you as they walked by, a woman breaking down in a random street in seoul oddly disconcerting.
"where are you? i'll come get you." the moment you heard the concern laced in his voice, your eyes brimmed with more unshed tears, stifling a sob that threatened to escape. in the background, you could hear the sound of things being knocked over, presumably minho rushing to get to you.
you told him your location in between shaky breaths, occasional hiccups interrupting your sentence. 
"just wait for me, ok? don't move anywhere," minho firmly instructed, voice soft and calming.
a few minutes passed, and he was nowhere to be found.
he would hate you for this, you realized. you didn't deserve him. he tried so hard to keep you safe, and how did you repay him? by almost erasing all memories of him. the thought of it just broke your heart even more, for if he knew what you had tried to do he would never want to have anything to do with you again.
"y/n!" you heard a voice yell, whipping around only to see minho running to you at full speed.  you had never been more glad to see him, your knees instantly buckling as you collapsed into his arms, crying into the crook of his neck as you clutched onto him like a lifeline. 
you didn't think you would ever get used to this feeling, you thought. his touch, warmth, his gentle strokes of your hair and whispered sweet nothings were like music to your ears, his hand coming up to rest on your back and his other coming up to gently stroke your hair as he swayed you back and forth. he had clearly just ran from dance practice, you realized, slightly sweaty and panting ever so slightly. 
"what's wrong, jagi?" he murmured, soft brown eyes searching your own red and teary ones.
"i- i didn't want to remember you because it was too painful, and then i tried to erase my memories of you, but i realized i didn't want to and i really, really, really fucking miss you and it hurts-" your rambling was cut off by a hiccup, lips quivering as you stared back into his eyes.
here comes the part where he realizes your a disgusting bitch and hates you forever, you thought miserably.
"shh, it's ok," minho pulled you closer, engulfing you in his warmth as his hand rose up to cup your cheek.
what?
he was supposed to hate you, not do... this. you literally tried to erase all memories of him, he should be angry and offended, so why...?
nonetheless, you would take what you could get in what you assumed to be your last moments with him, so instead you leaned into his touch, memorising his every detail again. his soft brown eyes framed with delicate lashes, sharp nose and jawline, the pink rosy tint to his cheeks as the winter wind whipped around you.
"i'm sorry," you begged, "just don't hate me."
"i never did, silly." minho laughed softly, a wistful smile gracing his lips.
"but you left me." you said, confused.
"i left you because i loved you. it was just for your own safety, i didn't care about anything else," minho explained, brows furrowing slightly.
oh.
minho stumbled backwards as you crashed into him with a force, nearly knocking him over as you crashed your lips onto his, hands threading through his soft silky hair and teeth knocking against his. it was a heated, messy kiss, teeth clashing and tears streaming down your face, yet minho didn't seem to mind as he deepened the kiss with a fervour, all seeming to pour out of him, pain and regret, relief and want. it is only when you seperate with a gasping breath of air that you finally see his swollen, reddened lips.
“i’ll figure something out, i’ll talk to the company, make a statement or something- i won’t let anyone get to you, i promise,” he rambled, a giddy smile on his face. right now, minho could care less about the repercussions, even if he had to move mountains just to be by your side and keep you safe at the same time. 
you giggled, an infectious laugh bubbling out of you. the both of you, crying in the middle of a street, hands intertwined and both a mess, yet you had never been happier with the person you truly loved. 
“we'll be alright now.” you whispered. it wasn’t just a statement but a promise, one to keep forever.
december 25th, 2020, 1.43 pm.
“min! come look!” you squealed in delight, eyes lighting up when you were finally done. minho glanced over, and sure enough, you were up to mischief again, the three cats dressed in ugly christmas sweaters with cartoonish designs on them and matching hats on their heads. doongie let out a ‘meow’ of indignation, protesting as minho roared with laughter to scoop him and his fellow cats up. laughter bubbling out of your lips, you quickly grabbed your phone to take a picture of minho and the three cats, his face lighting up in amusement as he watched them try to squirm out of his grasp. 
“i love you, you know that?” minho says that night, the two of you cuddled up on the couch with the cats, watching your favourite seasonal christmas movies together and snacking on popcorn.
“i don’t say it enough, partly because i’m not good at expressing myself, but i love you. your smile and personality and everything. just thought you should know.” the tips of his ears are red as he mumbles, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly.
you smile, a red tint blossoming across your cheeks as you lean in to kiss him softly.
“i love you too min.” 
how did you ever get so lucky? you think, leaning in to rest your head on minho’s shoulder as you resumed watching the movie, one hand absentmindedly scratching dori’s head as he purrs in contentment. here, in the dim light of the cozy apartment with minho, love heavy in the air around you two and christmas lights twinkling merrily, you think you have everything you have ever wanted in life.
after all, it didn't really matter where you were, as long as minho was by your side.
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taglist: @starseungs @missmajdastark @jazziwritesthings @layviyu @lailac13 @ana-marais98 @foxinthewild @dandelions-143 @rylea08 @linocz @minseongsworld @realrintaro @kkamismon12 @felinows @baribaaari
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thevoidstaredback · 12 hours
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Tim was curious. Maybe a little addicted to whatever the hell was in that coffee, he's still standing by the point that no other coffee will ever be enough, but that's not the point.
He wants answers. The Justice League want answers. No one has been able to get them. Because Phantom stays in the House of Mysteries, no one but the JLD can actually get time him. The Supers have tried listening out for him, but magic is something they're weak against and therefore can't hear through. Batman has tried to get into the House, but he's been sent everywhere else for his attempts. They would track him down as a civilian, but no one actually knows if he has a civilian disguise. It's very hard to hide hair that starkly white and skin pale enough to be blue.
Regardless, everyone wanted answers and Tim was determined to be the one to get them. Why does Phantom claim to be thirty-eight, fourteen, and eighteen all at the same time? Where did he come from? When did he die? How did he die? What the hell is in his coffee because damn was it good!
Off topic.
Tim had the rest of the Titans return to the tower while he stayed out. It'd be easier to track if he was the only one doing it. Besides, these guys work with Raven, they won't hurt him. Probably.
The fact that Phantom apparently smelled like death was another concern Tim had. Was it because he was dead? And what did Constantine mean that 'the smell lingers'?
More questions kept popping up like goddamn daisies, and there was no answers to clip them down. Tim was getting frustrated, to say the least.
***
Danny made an effort to at least try and help Constantine with the demon problem the building was having. Honestly, it wasn't even that bad, in Danny's humble opinion. The demon was just messing with people, not hurting anyone or stealing anything! He was, at most, planting minor inconveniences everywhere.
That's not technically his monkey, though, and it was most definitely not his circus. He figured he'd offer to be helpful, though, if only so that Constantine would owe him a favor. A favor he already knows how he's going to cash in.
"Why'd you really want to tag along?" Constantine asked Danny while they searched for the demon.
"What do you mean? You offered to bring me along."
"Yeah, but that's because you need to get out of the House more."
"Funny, coming from you."
"I spend more time outside of the House than I do inside." the Brit scoffed, "Now tell me why you agreed to come along. This is demon hunting. You only ever go ghost hunting."
Danny sighed and ran his left hand through his hair. Not that he could feel it, stupid nerve damage. "Deadman's been on my ass about my first trip to Gotham. I would've left to go find some place to crash, but the entire Justice League is also on my ass for some reason! I'd honestly rather not have to face any of them."
"You've been to Gotham?" Constantine asked, "When?"
Danny groaned, "Not you, too!"
"Whoa, okay, okay. You don't need to share with the class."
"Sorry."
"You better be."
"Hey!"
"Now tell my why the JL proper are after you?"
A sigh. "You remember at that meeting when Red Robin mistook my drink for his?"
"Yeah. Hard to forget. You freaked everyone out a little bit."
"Yeah. Turns out they all have questions that I don't want to answer. Avoiding them all has been the best way to not answer."
"You know you can't dodge them all forever."
"I know, but I really don't want to have to explain anything!" he whined, "The questions that they'll end up asking are gonna be really painful to answer."
A raised eyebrow. "How do you know what they'll ask?"
"Because everyone always asks the same things. Worded differently, but still that same."
"Then refuse to answer."
Danny met Constantine's eyes with a deadpan glare. "You're gonna look me in the eye and tell me that the Justice League and their sidekicks will leave me alone if I tell them 'no'?" He shook his head. "Lying's a bad habit, old man."
Constantine rolled his eyes as he went for his lighter, remembering they were were in a no smoke zone and retracting his hand. "Don't sass me, brat. Wonder Woman and Superman, at the very least, would back off. They'd get everyone else to, too."
"What about Batman and his brood?"
"Touche." the man said, "But you can't hide from them forever."
"I can try,"
"But you'll fail."
Another groan. "Can we just get this thing over with? I want to lock myself in the basement and wallow."
Part 5
Tag List:
@zaiothe4th @someonebored0100 @wolfeyedwitch @angelheartgamer @nymanders @princessbelix @luminanightfall @kgne-k @bianca-hooks123 @reigning-catsanddogs @sassywombatranchhorse @dontfightmecauseillcry @soul-lime @anarinette @serasvictoria02 @the-chaos-goblin-child @confusedshades @caicie @fantasticstoryteller @randomshtickidk @itsberrydreemurstuff
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b-dwolf · 24 hours
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oh please no, don't mind me, just thinking about the implications of them ending this season with eddie asking buck about the go karting place in the desert (that they mentioned in the first episode)
they'll both be out of their respective relationships, buck will have figured his feelings out for eddie and eddie will have just started to really uncover what he feels for buck, and finally digging thru all of his overwhelming amount of catholic guilt and what that means for him.
they could be in the locker room, about to leave after their shift (to further the parallel) and eddie could wait til everyone else leaves, so it's just the two of them left alone before he asks buck what his plans are for the day. buck would have a lackluster response, having nothing planned, and eddie would say something like;
"well uh hey, if you had nothing goin' on, this uh, person, told me about this go karting place out in the desert, could be fun" he would probably be smirking a little, his smile wavering a bit to showcase his nerves (though not understanding fully why he is nervous because? he's just asking his friend to hang out.. isn't he?)
but buck would obviously notice, laughing a little to try and ease the tension and calm his nerves a bit, "yeah, yeah i think i heard of it. uh- no yeah i don't have anything goin' on, i'm sure chris would love that" smile easily sliding onto his face, thinking about spending the day with the diaz boys.
eddie would sorta backtrack a little, not expecting that response, and adds on, "oh i uh- i was actually thinking that uh, maybe it could just be, y'know, us? i mean, if you're cool with that of course! i can ask chris but i think he might have plans with one of his friends and-"
buck cuts him off before eddie can ramble himself into oblivion, "-eddie. don't worry about it, i- i would love to go with you" his cheeks a little rosy, clearly not anticipating this turn of events and what it could possibly mean.
and then to really send it home
"great, it's a date."
just to really show that hey, this is the direction they are going in btw! yes it is romantic! yes it is intended to be that way!
and ofc s8 would be them sort of Knowing but not doing anything because eddie needs the time to work on himself, figure himself out and everything but by s8 finale they get together <3
haha or something idk!!!
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jsprnt · 2 days
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Americano PT. 8 | Jude Bellingham x Reader
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What happens if two individuals who absolutely despise each other are forced to interact after unforeseen events occur?
A/N: this one is a bit on the shorter side, but I promise next chapter will be juicy! 😉
W/C: 3.086
part seven
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"Wait- why am I actually kind of bitter about this?"
I mumble, looking up at Luis. He turns around, moving his camera away to look at me.
"Bitter about what?" He asks, fidgeting with the settings of the device.
"They literally crap out money- but get a free BMW?" I question, folding my arms.
"Oh, please. Will you stop being such a negative person?"
He gives me a nasty look, his hand coming to grab my arm.
"Or go sit in the car..?" He adds, pointing behind me.
"No, it's too hot to sit in the car.." I complain, adjusting my sleeve.
"Why did you even follow me here in the first place?" He asks, raising his brows.
"I was done with my to-do list and didn't want to stay cooped up in the office.."
Not to mention to avoid the insanely annoying looks I had been receiving ever since those stupid rumors and photos had been out.
"Okay, just stay back and watch then.."
I watch him make cinematic shots of each individual model and car. My patience begins to thin when he's still busy with it twenty minutes later.
I pull my phone out of my pocket to keep myself busy. I carefully scroll through my Instagram explore page, ignoring the thousands of follower requests to my account.
The internet was very quick, so within hours of my face being online, people had found both my full name and social media accounts.
"y/n!"
I freeze, holding my phone against my chest, and turn in the direction the noise came from.
I make immediate eye contact with Valeria, her obnoxiously fake smile burning my eyes instantly.
"Yeah? Anything wrong with the shoot?" I ask, shoving my phone into my pocket.
"No, the players have just arrived- and it's a better look if you're off your phone and look interested."
I fight the urge to snort at her ridiculous comment, and just nod before I lose it.
"Sure, any reason you're here today? It's only for some short clips..”
I watch her take a step forward, a hand reaching up to her hip. She moves her neck in a weird way, staring at me for a moment.
"It's always good to see how my juniors work, and how close they are to the players is really something I like keeping an eye on.."
Oh- surprise, she was here for something stupid!
I was already over her snarky remarks, especially those insinuating a romantic relationship between Jude and me.
The thought only makes me want to gag.
I shiver at the cursed idea, noticing a few players already walking over to check out the new car they chose, and look back at Valeria.
"Well, I'm sure some of the guys really need your presence and knowledge. Please, go and join them.."
I instigate, hoping and wishing she goes to bother Toni instead.
For some reason, he could handle her bullshit really well.
"Oh, don't mind if I do.." She chuckles, immediately turning her back to me and walking away.
I sigh in relief, rubbing my nape to try to release some tension from my body.
I begin walking up to the cars myself, reading off every license plate to see which player got what model.
I stop at the car chosen by Aurélien, observing the details of the 'i4 eDrive35'.
« Très belle, non? » I hear him say. I nod, pursing my lips.
« Le couleur- noir est parfait.. » I compliment, stepping back to get a better view.
I open my mouth to say something else- but I'm startled by a loud car horn, it almost makes my eardrums explode. I shut my eyes tightly, not reacting fast enough to cover my ears properly.
"What the fuck.." I mumble, looking to my left. An obviously aggravated expression on my face, because who the hell thought that was a good idea?
“Jude! Get out of your mom’s car, please!” I exclaim, seeing him stand at the driver’s door.
The man couldn’t even drive, but got to choose a car for himself?
Not even that- he also chose the most expensive model worth more than a hundred thousand euros?
Life is so unfair.
“You’re standing in the way!” He exclaims, walking around to sit in the passenger seat. Another staff member comes over to drive him around the parking lot.
I give him a nasty look, stepping aside and looking back at Aurélien.
“Why don’t you join him?” He suggests, an obvious smirk on his face.
“What? Why would I do that?” I ask, raising my brows and folding my arms defensively.
“You know- nice car and fun drive..” He trails off, glancing at the moving car.
“I would feel like I’m in danger without him even being the driver..” I state, shielding my eyes from the sun with my hand.
He chuckles, as if to mock the fear for my safety. I shrug it off, looking behind me to see where Luis is.
“Come on- get in the car and I’ll get Luis to do a little video..” I usher, walking away to get Luis.
The entire shoot takes us about an hour before we’re finally done. I quickly bid farewell and thank fellow staff members for their hard work before jumping into my car.
I go to start my car, looking up to see where Luis is. I roll my windows down, letting some fresh air into the car, hoping he’ll be here quickly.
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“No- it’s just annoying because I’m trying to do my job properly and I’m getting the craziest stares. Like, does having a conversation with someone mean we’re married with three kids and a chihuahua?!” I exclaim, looking at Amira on FaceTime.
“And you attended his match, and you wore his name on your shirt and spoke to his family and-"
I cut her off with a loud groan, rubbing my eyes in irritation.
“You’re the one who set me up!”
“I thought you already knew it was his shirt! Should I have worn Jude’s while you wore Trent’s?” She defends herself, a smirk forming on her lips.
I shake my head, dropping my pencil on the table.
I had been studying all day and had stopped the instant Amira called me.
“The way I can’t even get mad at anyone about this- ugh..” I complain, shifting in my chair.
“And those follow requests are so annoying..”
I grumble, totally aware of the fact that I had been complaining about literally every single thing and then some.
“Girl, if you set your account on public again and accept those followers..”
“What? I’m going to clout chase being that douche's fake girlfriend?”
“Obviously?”
“I have to take over my dad’s firm one day, and you want me to be known for dating my coworker?”
“Too late-"
I stop paying attention to what she’s saying when the front door opens, my gaze moving to see my dad walking in.
“I’m going to call you back later.” I mutter to Amira, waving at her until she hangs up.
I close my laptop, standing up to walk over to the door.
“Hey, dad- you’re late.” I say, grabbing his laptop bag off of him.
“I had a lot of work to review. Did you have dinner?” He asks, hanging his coat up on the coat rack.
“I had some of the food auntie Carmen made. You?”
“We all had dinner in the office. Everyone has been going home late these days.” He says, washing his hands in the kitchen sink before loosening his tie.
“With what?” I ask, setting his laptop bag on the table, prying into his business.
“Can’t say, but- don’t you think you need to tell me something?” He suddenly asks, turning to me.
I freeze, looking at him with wide eyes.
What the hell would I be hiding from him?
“Uh- no? I’m not sure what you’re talking about?” I state, scratching my nape in confusion.
“Are you sure?” He presses on, coming to hold onto my shoulders.
“I’m sure. What am I supposed to hide from you?” I ask, getting rather defensive, a frown forming in between my brows as I keep staring at him.
He notices my irritation, letting go of my shoulders and holding his hands up in surrender.
“Okay- I understand. Don’t get all angry at me..” He says, smiling.
“I’m not angry- just confused..”
“Forget I asked- How was work? How about you tell me about that instead?”
I purse my lips, looking down at my laptop.
“Alright, the players got new cars, so we had to do a shoot for BMW..” I mutter, fiddling with my notebook.
“You look so down, y/n. What? Are you jealous? I got you your new Audi less than two years ago..”
“What do you mean, dad? I love that car, would not exchange an Audi for a BMW- I have some car knowledge.” I state, my expression changing as I explain to him.
“That’s right! Come to me when you really want to change your car. I’ll call up some people I know.”
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I make my way towards the printer, looking for the documents I had sent over to be copied a couple hours ago. Finding them, I quickly read them through to confirm the pages are complete, until I’m stopped by Hugo.
“Are you ready for El Classico week?” He asks, making a copy of something.
Most people, as in football fans, would say an El Classico is a match you shouldn’t miss. The long-standing rivalry between the two clubs was always interesting to watch, and I would definitely agree a hundred percent-
Only, if it didn’t mean we had to ensure our match posts, interviews, and statements were properly prepared and triple-checked and approved days leading up to the match.
Of course, I loved watching the game- but the way it exhausted literally everyone involved was no fun.
What made it harder was the fact that we had a whole Champions League match to worry about first. To sum it all up, no one was getting sleep for the next two weeks.
“Yeah, just really busy with preparations.” I reply, folding the corner of the documents.
“Good luck, we’ve all been having sleepless nights. It will be worth it in the end- you’ve experienced this before. Just keep on doing what you always do.”
I nod in acknowledgment, smiling at him.
“You’re right, we will put our best foot forward.” I give him a thumbs up, chuckling.
“Good- I’ll see you at lunch. Work hard!” He encourages, patting my shoulder before leaving with his printed papers.
I sigh in relief when he leaves, making my way up to my desk. I place the documents on the table, before running down to the pitch. Having to finish some last-minute recording of the match preparations.
I walk over to the pitch, training is already in full motion, and I notice Luis already there. I look around for any other staff members, only seeing the creepy guy I ran into weeks ago standing across the pitch.
The guy was a walking, real-life jumpscare at this point. I’d only run into him at random moments, and the way he’d look at me had my heart leaping into my throat.
“You’re late.” Luis complains, bringing me out of my thoughts, fiddling with a black cable.
“Did those two minutes kill you?” I ask, sighing, and look at the players who were training.
“Of boredom, yes..” He replies, and I notice the small- very slight compliment in his words. A smile forming on my face as I chuckle.
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“We would’ve been absolutely fucked if Kepa didn’t save that one..” I mutter, insanely stressed, as I eye the scoreboard in the Lluís Companys Olympic Stadium. A temporary stadium FC Barcelona had been using for this season.
“Don’t say that- you have no trust in this team whatsoever..” Luis complains, looking up at me.
“Who will score?” I ask, we loved guessing who would score and assist goals during every match.
“Jude.” He immediately says, not hesitating one bit.
“No- I’m guessing Vinicius..” I say, eyes darting back to my laptop screen.
“I will be right- just watch..”
“It’s his second El Classico and his first in season one. What is he going-” I immediately stop talking when I notice a chance to score, my hands tangle into my shirt as I see how much space there is to score.
I gasp, and my jaw slacks open when Jude scores an absolute screamer, which I’d obviously never admit to him.
“I told you!” Luis screams, celebrating like it’s his birthday. I scoff, secretly happy we were put out of our 0-1 misery, and search for the draft I’m supposed to publish.
A couple minutes pass, it’s almost full time, and extra time is finally announced. The away side is full of Madridistas, all sitting on the edge of their seats until Luca kicks the ball towards Jude and GOAL!
The away side celebrates happily, with another El Classico win in our pocket. I quickly manage and do what I have to do, before we both get up to go back inside.
I was both delighted and annoyed at the fact that we won. Of course, it’s always amazing to win a match like this, especially when we were doing so well this season. Also because it’s Luca’s 500th match, and an assist is pretty amazing to pull off on a day like this.
The only thing making me have bitter feelings was the fact that I had to interview Jude today. Normally, Man Of The Match interviews with him were already horrific to experience. An elaborate interview with him, after I’d been avoiding him like the plague, wasn’t necessarily something I would want to do.
“Can you go first? I’ve got to pee really badly..” I say to Luis, placing my bag down and running towards the restroom. Finishing my business up quickly and washing my hands thoroughly.
I look around me for a bit, knowing that sometimes players would use these restrooms as well. I had heard about instances where the players of the opposite team had raged against our team’s staff members. Which definitely had me watching my back in moments like these.
I had interacted with some players of FC Barcelona, and they hadn’t been disrespectful so far.
Thus, I’m not too fazed when the door to the restroom opens. I look up as a sweaty and tired Ferran Tores walks in.
We make immediate eye contact, and I nod in greeting, shooting him a quick ‘hello' before pulling some paper towels from the dispenser to dry my hands.
He seems to be seething in anger, so I break eye contact, looking away.
“This is a staff bathroom, are you aware of that?”
He suddenly says, water splashing from the faucet as he begins washing his face.
“Sorry?” I question, wondering what he’s getting at.
“Not for girlfriends.” He mutters, turning the faucet off.
My face twists into one of confusion, the words throwing me for a loop. Seems like he notices, and he opens his mouth again.
“You’re Bellingham’s girl, aren’t you? This is the staff restroom.” He enunciates every single word as if I’m a kindergartner, it makes me freeze for a second.
I struggle to stop myself from reacting thoughtlessly, not knowing if I should be crying or laughing.
My hand reaches for my staff badge hanging from my neck, waving it in front of his face.
“Do I look like a girlfriend?” I ask, dropping my badge and stepping out before he can apologize.
Asshole, losing doesn’t give you the right to be so damn rude.
How could I even get rid of these stupid fucking rumors?
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“Okay, smile!” I exclaim, holding Luis’s camera up to take a photo of the squad. With the happiness of winning an El Classico and the celebration of Luca's milestone came a lot of excitement and enthusiasm.
I hold back a chuckle at the sight of Aurélien laying on the floor, instructing some of them to move a bit for a better shot.
We take multiple photos together, staff members taking photos with the squad while I force them to stand in front of the camera.
“y/n, come here, and we’ll take a picture!” Antonio urges, snatching the camera off of me and pushing me to stand in front of the camera.
I feel myself being pushed, until I find myself almost pressing into Jude’s side.
I curse to myself, forcing an awkward smile as I pose next to everyone.
“What? Surely, you don’t think I bite?” Jude whispers, his arm dropping to his side.
“Please, shut up and pose. We still have that interview, so don’t start now..” I mutter between a clenched smile, pretending I’m not fazed.
I hear a soft chuckle, a mocking and breathy ‘sure’ leaving his mouth.
It gives me shivers down my spine, and I fight the urge to step on his shoe, focusing on posing instead.
This will be a long, long interview..
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“You should’ve told me you’re leaving.” I mumble, mouth full of cereal and milk.
“Sorry, been so busy, didn’t even come to mind.” My dad says, walking around the house as he gets ready for work.
“Where is that blue tie I just got?” He shouts from his room.
“I ironed it! It’s in the bottom drawer!” I shout, scrolling through my messages.
“Got it!”
I hum, chugging the leftover milk in my bowl before standing up from the dining table.
“When are you going? Will you be gone for long?” I ask, watching him put the tie on in his bedroom.
“This weekend. It’s a crucial case, so I’ll be back when it’s totally over. Don’t get up to mischief. I know how you get when you’re home alone.” He points, giving me a stern look.
“Yeah, sure, I will plan a house party or two..” I joke, but it doesn’t land as he continues staring me down.
“Okay! I will be a responsible adult and call you or auntie Carmen when something happens..”
“Good, I’m leaving to get to work. Will you be back on time for dinner?” He says, grabbing his paperwork and laptop bag.
“Yeah, can we order in tonight?” I give him a pleading look, walking him out.
“You know I can’t deny my daughter happiness in the form of burgers and fries...”
93 notes · View notes
my1oves · 2 days
Note
PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU, CAN YOU DO CHILCHUCK HEADCANONS INSPIRED BY THE SONG "too sweet"?????? 😭PLEASKEJD
Jokes aside, I saw your post on this same topic and I need it, like, really bad
The funny thing is that I had already thought about how much this song suited Chilchuck before, like, bros gonna suffer as soon he falls in love with someone sweet and young, remembering how it went love for him before, and how now he's so sour and... So him...
I can perfectly imagine him having so many internal struggles because, she is so cute and innocent (plus if she's also blonde), so youngful.... But he stops himself so much because he doesn't want to corrupt her.
But a part of him wants to wait until they've matured more... But he feels that's wrong too, Even so, it's almost impossible to hold back on how bad he wants and loves her (Is suprising how he has retained himself for sheer will)
I can also imagine him being mortified because... Come on, he've probably had a lot of dirty thoughts about her even before being "something"
too sweet
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꒰ includes ꒱ ⸻ chilchuck tims.
꒰ warnings ꒱ ⸻ gn! reader, angst & smut (handjob), inspired by 'too sweet' by hozier.
꒰ mimi's note ꒱ ⸻ great minds think alike- the song fits chilchuck well! i hope that i did the idea justice! thank you for the request!
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chilchuck can't help but feel a little guilty whenever you take care of him after a job well done
one can usually find him in a tavern, chasing after the end of a bottle- and by the time he's two or three bottles in, that's when you appear
ready to help him back home, take care of him so gently, scold him for not taking care of himself
he really doesn't know why you stay with him, you two are complete opposites but...
"You know, you don't gotta help him every time," The barmaid said, shaking her head. "Just leave him out on the sidewalk, he'll learn his lesson then." You wave your hand dismissively, helping Chilchuck off of a stool. He leans against you, slurring murmurs of the barmaid to mind her own business.
"I don't mind," You say, earnestly. Chilchuck glances up at you, a fuzzy feeling in his stomach. The barmaid tsks and shakes her head, but doesn't say anything else as you help Chilchuck out the door and to his home. "Did the job go well, then?" You ask, and Chilchuck gives you a prideful grin.
"Of course! They had me, after all." You roll your eyes, laughing quietly at his pride. When you reach his home, you watch in amusement as he tries to pick his own lock, before taking the keys you took off of him earlier and opening the door. "Wow, yer a natural." He scratches his head in genuine shock.
"I learned it from the best," You tease, guiding him through the door. You help him take off his shoes before leading him to the kitchen table. He watches from there as you fill up a glass of water and rummage through is medicine cabinet.
He gives a very sudden solemn sigh. "You deserve better." You throw him a concerned glance over your shoulder. What prompted him to say that? You walk back carefully with glass and medicine in tow.
"Don't I get a say in it?"
"I'm rotten work." He takes the medicine and glass and gulps it all down in one go. "I'll ruin you- you really don't deserve that." He stands up with a slight wobble.
"Chil..." You hesitantly reach out for him, but he shoots you a look that renders you unmoving.
"It's best if ya leave now, let's not risk heartbreak for either of us, yeah?" With that, he stumbles himself to his room, almost tripping over the junk he has lying around his home.
Chilchuck is honestly always so surprised whenever you stay around, especially when he says things he knows probably hurt you.
It only further hurts his guilty conscious- you're too sweet, too pristine. Your vigor for life contrasts his so much he nearly gets whiplash when being near you
He wishes you weren't so... full of life, perhaps then he wouldn't feel bad for imagining being with you, but he'll only corrupt you with his cynicism.
Sometimes he'll ask, if you've ever considered living a lifestyle like his, but he usually backpedals quickly after
"You've never even thought of stayin' up past midnight?" He barks a laugh, and you try hard to hide your embarrassment. You mutter that you have, once, stayed up past midnight but you got super cranky. Chilchuck took a minute to try and imagine that, laughing at how ridiculous the image was.
"Whatever," You pout, and Chilchuck coos.
"Aw, don't be a baby." He teases, pinching your warm cheeks. "I'll help you become bitter and cranky." You turn to look at him, "I'll teach you the ins-and-outs of being a good-for-nothin'-" he cuts himself out very suddenly. "Nevermind."
"Aw boo, I was excited to learn all about it." Chilchuck shakes his head, flicking you in the forehead. "Ow!"
"Don't say that. Keep bein' good, 'kay?" A heavy silence fills the air now, and Chilchuck avoids your gaze. He thinks about it, hard. What if he did teach you how to be like him? Staying up drinking all night, not waking until well past noon, using sarcasm and snark like it's your first language.
If you were more like that, then perhaps he wouldn't mind indulging in his thoughts of being with you. There wouldn't be parts of him that he'd fear for you to see, parts of him that he keeps carefully wrapped up so you don't run away. He clears his throat, straightening his posture. "Well, should probably get goin', right?"
Yeah, it's best not to dwell on such thoughts for long.
though those thoughts are the worst... (NSFW BELOW, mdni)
no, to chilchuck, he feels most guilty about the sinful thoughts he gets when it's late at night, and he needs something to help keep him up
you always fill his mind, the idea of taking your innocent nature and molding it to fit him is addicting
but it's always something he'll wake up regretting the next day
and it's hard for him to look you in the eyes for the next few days- yet he always continues to do it again and again.
Like a shadow, you form appears in the corner of his mind. Biting back grunts of pleasure as he jerks himself off, he can only chuckle at the thought of you walking in on him doing such an indecent act.
"C- Chilchuck!" You'd gasp, face hot as you cover your eyes. "I- I'm sorry! I didn't mean to walk in- I- well- You-" You'd nearly run into the wall trying to get out with your eyes closed, but Chilchuck would just stare hungrily at your form.
"You can look," He'd breath, and you would peak from behind your fingers to watch as his flushed face broke out into a grin. His hand moving up and down his slick cock, strangled moans caught in his throat.
Apprehensively, you take a step forward, in awe. "You wanna help me out?" Chilchuck can imagine the eager nod so clearly. "Always so helpful~"
He would guide you, teach you how to please him. He'd use you so selfishly. "Like this, 'kay?" Biting your lip, you'd try your hardest to keep up, to do well, to please him. His head nearly hitting the wall. It's everything he wanted and more, your soft hands around his cock, giving languid pumps.
Chilchuck's hips would meet your hands, stuttering upwards with need. Biting into his fist to try and hold back his whiney sounds, you would take a surprising course of action, leaning forward to press your lips against his with need, rubbing your thighs together.
Sloppy, wet sounds echo off the walls of the room, and Chilchuck only pulls away to see the dazed expression. Fuck, it's too much. He wants more, he wants you.
But even in his daydreams, he has limits. He won't fuck you just yet, he'll teach you, slowly, all things you need to know.
"Shit!" He cums with a string of curses, the thought of finally fucking you into his mattress after prepping you for weeks (teaching you things like how to suck him off, how to give a proper handjob, etc. and him going down on you, touching you, etc.- all little fantasies of his, of course, he can barely hold your hand to guide you through the marketplace in real life) helping get him off.
And now Chilchuck lays there, panting and covered in his own cum. "Damn it," He curses, running his other hand through his hair and groaning loudly. More curses leave his lips as he knows he won't be able to meet your eyes later that day. He wishes he could stop craving you, stop imagining you in his moments of need, yet he never feels as good as he does when it comes to thinking of you.
In the end, Chilchuck is a weak man- he's never claimed to be otherwise
he'll either give in to his desires, allowing you to care for him even though he knows in the end he'll only hurt you- yet another ruined relationship under his belt
or he'll run away in hopes of forgetting you, drinking away his sorrows as he knows he'll never see you again- it's probably better this way, he'll try to convince himself. you were too sweet for him.
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꒰ ❀ ꒱ thank you for reading. have a wonderful day, darling!
53 notes · View notes
imahinatjon · 1 day
Text
Maintenance
Chuuya x Reader
Sensitive topics heavily implied!!!
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As a member of the port Mafia, you were no stranger to loosing friends, comrades, though it was usually a result of the job.
In your personal life though... yeah, it was pretty much the same situation, with a few tweaked details.
You've always had a hard time making friends, and keeping them. You always assume its your fault.
It could be a number of other things. Poor choice in friends, you not doing enough to keep the friendship going, them not doing enough to keep the friendship going, drifting apart, personalities that just don't mesh, among other things of the sort.
Even when you find all these reasons, you still arrive to the same conclusion. It's all your fault.
But, you found a solution, a way to stop your friends from leaving you.
Over the years, you found that acts of service help. Doing things for these people, agreeing with these people, letting them dump their emotional baggage on you, buying things for them (even when you weren't in a good enough financial situation for it)
Ultimately, you found, the only way you could keep your friends around was to do whatever they wanted you to.
If only you hadn't been so wrong.
When Chuuya first joined the Mafia, he didn't know you, and you didn't know him. You were just some other underling, you worked for so and so doing such and such, he'd only occasionally pass you in the hallway.
Still, he had the biggest crush on you. You were just so beautiful, to pretty, so sweet. You seemed out of place in the Mafia headquarters.
The more he thought about you, the more you started appearing. Like that strange phenomenon when you first notice someone, and then suddenly you see them everywhere.
He wasn't complaining.
He saw how you were with some of your comrades, woman and men, you were always running around, doing things for them, following them wherever they wanted you to go. He didn't think much of it until he got brave enough to approach you and the group of 'friends' you had made a few years later.
"Ah, damn, I don't have enough for lunch! And I was really craving a pizza today too!" One of the woman whined, that's when you perked up, meekly raising your hand, as though you needed permission to speak, their attention went to you.
"I-i could always go and get you something if you like? I have enough on me"
That was nice of you.
"Really?! That would be great! Seriously, your such a life saver YN" she accepted your offer and praised you. And you ate it up with a bright smile and ran off to god knows where.
Once you were out of earshot, he heard the woman snicker
"See, if you want her to do anything, just make her feel bad for you! Pretend your injured, or sick, or that you have no money! Hell, she'll do anything if you so much as say you've had a bad day"
Chuuya froze. What? It was like some teen drama show - the overly kind, energetic friendly girl being taken advantage of by the meaner more callous popular one (Not that she was popular, Chuuya didn't even know her name, nor did he want to)
Well, if that's what it was gonna be like- he'd just become your Knight in shining armor!
If only it was that easy.
You'd come back rather quickly, almost like you'd ran, and handed the food over, the group thanking you, patting your head like dog before they up and left you standing there. You didn't have anything. Left on your own to go hungry for the day because you spent what you had on someone else.
So chuuya introduced himself. And he took you out to lunch.
It was the start of what should have been a beautiful friendship. But you were incredibly dense, and you treated chuuya the same way you treated everyone else, albeit with more effort because he never asked for anything.
And that made you nervous. You didn't know what you could do for him. So you did everything, to the point that everyone knew, and you eventually got assigned to become his 'secretary' of sorts. His personal lackey. Why bother giving anyone else the position when you were there doing it all anyway?
And Chuuya HATED this arrangement. But he couldn't say anything, not when you looked so happy to be working with him.
It takes a few more years before he's ready to tell you that he has feelings for you. He doesn't know what's been stopping him. Perhaps he was worried you didn't feel the same. He wouldn't put it past you to agree to date someone just because they asked, because you felt like you had to.
But then - then you got a boyfriend. Some guy he didn't know, and didn't really want to know.
You'd talk Chuuya's ear off about this man all day long, not singing his praise, but... complaining? It was refreshing, to see you not speaking so highly of someone, but it was also concerning as to the state of your relationship.
Your boyfriend disregarded your feelings, ignored what you said. But you'd tell Chuuya it was okay, because sometimes he just 'forgot'. He never spent much money on you either, which was fine, you didn't expect it. But chuuya distinctly remembers one day in the office watching you pace back and forth because you didn't have enough money for your boyfriends birthday gift - he'd been asking for it for months now, and you couldn't afford it.
Of course chuuya gave you the money for it. And of course you paid him back when he asked you not too.
After a few months Chuuya told you that you had to break up with him, for your own good. But you refused.
"You have no right to tell me that"
He didn't see you much after that. It broke his heart.
But not as much as it did weeks later when you came crying to him in his office. It was about your boyfriend - ex boyfriend now.
Chuuya once spoke about the future with you, where you saw yourself- married? Kids? You said you never wanted kids.
But now you come to him, a small white stick in your hand and tears running down your face. He sits you down and asked what happend.
"H-he didn't want to use... he didn't want to use protection. I asked him too, but he said it felt better without it. He said he'd leave me. So I - I let him..." Chuuya understood what you were saying, and it made his blood boil, he was ready to comitt murder in your name. But then you said something else that worried him.
"Then I..." You couldn't finish the sentence as you handed him the stick you came in with. Chuuya wasn't stupid. He knew what this was. It was the last thing you wanted.
"What are you going to do?" He finally asked.
You didn't answer him, instead leaning and resting your head on his shoulder.
You were tired. So he would let you sleep.
You left after a few hours, and came back a week later. A happy go lucky smile on your face as you ran around doing all the tasks you needed to do plus a few extras on the side. You weren't all there of course, smile faltering ever so slightly when you thought no one was looking. When no one would notice.
But Chuuya noticed. Of course he did. He was always looking. He always has been.
He let's you settle back into life, before he even considers thinking about you romantically again. He's cautious, he doesn't want to hurt you.
But eventually it gets too much. Your acts of service, you keep buying him things. It's too much! He should be the one doing that for you. And he tells you as much.
"But why? That's not... you job?" You asked him.
"It's not yours either"
You think you understand, and you panic - have you been doing too much all this time? You thought that was how friendships were supposed to work.
"You don't... you don't need to keep doing things for me. I want to be the one doing things for you!" He exclaimed, infront of many onlookers. "I want to be the one spoiling you, buying you presents, taking you out to eat, be someone you can lean on, talk to, tell all your problems" he continued further.
"I want to hold your hand. I want to see your face every day, I want to be close to you, and I want you to stop thinking you have to do things for me because you don't have to do anything other than be yourself"
"I didn't fall in love with what you could do for me, I didn't fall in love with the material items you brought me, I just fell in love with you, everything else be damned"
"You...fell in love with me?"
"Of course I did. How could I not"
"Well... i could think of one or two reasons" you tried to joke
"Just shut up. You have no idea how much it hurt, how much I hated myself for not being able to stop others from using you, how much it felt like I was also using you. And I don't want to use you, I just want to be with you... that's all"
"I..." You couldn't hide the shy grin coming to your face. It was out of character for Chuuya, especially infront of so many people to say such things, it was also cheesy. But... it meant to world to you. Chuuya loved you. And a part of you, the part of you you had been trying for so long to push down loved him too.
"You said you love me..." You whispered "you really said you love me!" You said a little louder
"I mean... well... yea, I guess I did"
You couldn't stop yourself from rushing forward to hug him, hiding your face in his shoulder
"You have... no idea how happy that makes me"
"I'd like to tell you how much i love you every day... if you'll let me?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ehhhh, the endings not really doing it for me I'm afraid. I wanted so badly to write a bad ending, but that wouldn't have been very comforting.
Not that Chuuya did a whole lot of comforting until the end... sorta.
Masterlist :3
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genolover · 3 days
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So I read @aughtpunk 's cotl forgiveness au in like 2 days and now I'm hyperfocusing on it. I just keep thinking of cute little things. Particularly between Shaun and kallamar. Aughtpunk probably shouldn't read this.
Like they have regular are-we-still-engaged chess matches. The first time kallamar wins, they regretfully tell the others the engagement is off. Most everyone is like, you were engaged?? How?? Since when?????? The next day they're engaged again. It great and not at all confusing. Pretty soon no one is sure if the engagement is even real or not. Don't ask kallamar, he's not 100% sure either. Like they play games to see who's responsible for the flowers or menu decisions but is it real? Half the group is sure it isn't until it's the night before the wedding and Holy shit this is actually happening wtf and Shaun is just so disappointed in them. Kallamar is too, right my love? Kallamar is like, yeah, I can't believe they doubted the seriousness of this situation. Internally he's screaming. Shaun also didn't think it was that serious but over time he got sick of people shit talking kallamar to his face so he was like, now I gotta marry him in the biggest most amazing wedding ever. I just gotta.
I also just like the idea that they would use games to settle most disagreements. They watch eachothers strategies and moods to figure out how serious they need to be. If it's a lighthearted thing then they joke the whole time and whoever wins, wins. Gg. If it's something more important to one than the other then they give a good game but let that person win since clearly this is a significant matter. If it's an important matter to both, they use the game as something of a distraction. I can't kill you for not understanding exactly where I'm coming from by magically reading my mind if I'm too busy trying to figure out if the move you just made is even legal. By the end of the match, whomever wins, it comes out as more of a compromise.
They do have this problem where if they don't have a clear goal for a game, it can escalate into terrible ends. Like Shaun makes a flirty double entendre about calamari, kallamar says something gross about cannibalism, suddenly its 3 am, they're in the kitchen with heket who is waaaay too happy about cooking some of her brother's flesh with the intention of giving it to his ex-fiancee to eat (shaun being grossed out by cannibalism made him lose), and questioning all of their life choices.
Oh and after wedding thought. Shaun asks narinder for a life flower (that what I've been calling them in my head). Narinder is grossed out but Shaun gives this whole speech about how they aren't gonna use it now, he just wants to show kallamar that he did notice that he wasnt sure how serious he was about the wedding but he is very serious about wanting to have this life together with him and growing their family together. Narinder does reluctantly give him a flower. Little while later kallamar asks for the same thing. His explanation is a little more based in logic. They've talked about children before and he's probably gonna be the one carrying them so it just makes sense for him to have the flower. Everyone is like aww they're gonna present these flowers to eachother and it's gonna be cute or something. Meanwhile kallamar is confirming that he and his husband aren't needed for anything else tonight and maybe the flower might work if brewed into a tea but eh it's better to not chance it and just. Fucking. Eats it. Right there. Infront of God (poor jake) and everybody. Did his husband see that? No, of course not. That would prevent any miscommunication drama. It's like, dude, did you guys plan on that or...? And kallamar is like, we've had some of the most important discussions about this already, I fail to see why we can't start trying now. And then he leaves to go spend his wedding with Shaun in private and now the whole family has no idea what to do with themselves. They did not need this information.
I also have thoughts for their kids. First set is twins. They are cute. They look like normal lambs just tinted blue. At first. They actually have tendrils they hide amongst their wool. They're also good at team hunting. If you see the both of them, it's safe. If you only see one, it's a distraction, turn around, you are being ambushed.
These are just fun little thoughts I had. Feel free to ignore me.
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monstersw1thv1bes · 2 days
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so guys how are we feeling? i have a few things to say. my thoughts, in no particular order:
steven said very, very little. ryan and Shane were mostly speaking. but honestly with the hate he's been receiving? i don't blame him. nobody had any proof Steven made the decision on his own and yet the internet unanimously decided thats what happened.
saying you're close to shutting down the company when you've literally just hired new people you didn't need? i mean, that doesn't necessarily mean it's a lie, but it shows very, very poor management at the least.
they need to hire less creative people rn. hire someone to run finance. hire someone to run marketing. hire people who actually know what the fuck they're doing when it comes to making sure a business thrives if you're going to hire new people at all.
you want to be a business, you need to stop thinking like a youtube channel. this is why you can't just start a company with your friends if none of you have business experience in this day and age.
unfortunately when you run a business, you have to lay off people you don't need sometimes. better yet: train people you don't need to do the job you want to hire somebody else to do (my boss does this so you can't tell me it doesn't work). loyalty to your employees breeds loyalty to your company, but you can't just let people keep doing something you don't need them to do if you want to run a succesful business.
if you can't pay your staff, why can you drop 55k on your wedding?
if you can't pay your staff, why can you afford to travel abroad and eat literal gold?
if you can't pay your staff, why are you compromising on your integrity instead of literally any of the expensive things your company is doing?
i love how they didn't once adress that they could literally save money by dropping the shows nobody wants to see. if you have so many loyal fans and some of your shows aren't doing well, you can't just blame the youtube algorithm: that is people actively making a choice not to watch something.
they didn't say anything about the high quality production of shows, either. they would have been completely in their right to say "our goal was always to produce TV-quality content and while we know you guys don't need that from us, we don't want to compromise on that goal" (even though I disagree on them always needing that quality, i would have accepted such a statement) but i feel like not mentioning it at all makes the video feel more like damage control than them actually listening to their fans.
the changes they've now made should have been how they went about this from the start if they were dead set on a streaming service.
i'm curious to see how others respond to this. to me it genuinely does feel like damage control. i'm probably not going to watch them anymore. we'll see how i feel when new content does make it to the plebs who get to watch it for free /j.
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Forbidden Fruit
A Grayson Hawthorne x oc fic
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Warnings/notes (regarding the whole fic) : slight cursing, sexual innuendos, no smut, MLM, friends to enemies to lovers, might be a lil ooc (forgive me first fic ever if you dont count 'Wine and Woes'), i also changed Cassian to a human instead of a faerie, also, it's gonna be a little slow, please bear with me.
(please heed that this only a work of fiction, so do not be influenced by it, and for the love of God don't do anything that's happening in this fic.)
(trespassing is not a light matter, especially when you're breaking into a multi-billionaire's house. Doing this will have its consequences 🙏💀)
Word count: Idk man, lots of words here 💀
Summary: Grayson Hawthorne had always wanted to be like his grandfather. He had never been in the business of making friends, until he meets someone who is going to turn his life upside down, and possibly make his brain short circuit
Prologue
Part 1
"your ego is bigger than Jupiter itself. Your IQ on the other hand, is the complete opposite"
"i know you ain't talking like that when you don't know what basic slang is, blondie"
"i prefer doing more productive things than spending all my time on such uselessly mind-consuming pieces of media"
"........ This is why you have no friends and no bitches"
"i have you." Grayson smiled, something he rarely did "maybe that's all I need."
Pre-Timeskip
Grayson Hawthorne was not in the business of making friends, much like his grandfather, Tobias Hawthorne. Even though he was only 13 years old, he relied on himself, he did not ask for help. Grayson knew he was extraordinary, his grandfather had made sure he knew.
He was prepared for every possible outcome in every possible situation. Or so he thought, until he was face to face with a rather unusual looking boy
Unusual in the sense that the boy was wearing muddy overalls, his fluffy brown hair had leaves and twigs stuck in it. His smile is too big, too bright, much like the sun shining overhead. Grayson's eyes trail down the short boy's appearance, hes holding his hands out to Grayson, holding two red geraniums in them. The geraniums are muddy too. Grayson's face scrunches up looking at the filth.
"Who are you?" Grayson glares at the boy "And how did you get in here?"
For anyone else, Grayson's glare would have been terrifying. His silver eyes making them uncomfortable in their own skin. But this boy? He kept grinning, and holding out his flowers. The audacity he had to ruin Grayson's peaceful garden time agitated Grayson.
"My name is Cassian!" Cassian smiles brightly "Whats yours?"
Grayson did not want to answer, this boy's innocence was.....annoying, but he did so out of politeness, and perhaps the hope that maybe this boy would leave if he knew who he was talking to was far superior.
"Grayson" Grayson introduced himself "My name is Grayson Hawthorne."
Grayson did not see any flash of recognition in the boy's midnight blue eyes. That agitated him more. First, this boy had the audacity to interrupt his peaceful garden time, Now, he didn't even know who Grayson was?!
"Woah! You have a cool name! Grayson. Gray, like your eyes" he says in awe, as if he had never seen gray eyes before
What was Grayson even supposed to say to that? Grayson frowns at Cassian. Hoping that maybe he'll see the obvious annoyance and leave. But Grayson's hopes were nothing if not futile, because Cassian just smiles at him.
Instead, he just tells him something Grayson does not want to know
"My last name is Moonbeam!" he smiles
Cassian Moonbeam? What a ridiculous name..... Grayson thought
It was also not a name Grayson recognised, so one, this boy was not from a prominent family, and two, he was not a worker's son. Since those children never approached Grayson, knowing who he is.
"You do realize that you're trespassing, right?" Grayson raises an eyebrow, looking down his nose at the boy
Cassian cocks his head to the side a little "Trespassing?" he says, expression neutral "but there's only one of me, wouldnt that make it unopassing?" he grins
This boy..... Grayson's mind comes up with a few rude words, but he decides to keep them to himself.
Instead, he calmly says "That wasn't funny"
"it wasn't meant to be."
"How did you get in here?"
"i slid through the tall border thingy" Cassian points at the tall border that separated the woods from the estate. Grayson's eyes slid from the metal border back to Cassian
"And no one saw you? Not even one of the guards? And how in the world did you manage to slip through the gap?!"
"oh. Um. Well, i kinda watched the guards routine a lot, so I slipped in when they were away." Cassian grins "And it's not that small of a gap. Plus, I'm small and lean"
Grayson was so done with this kid and this whole conversation. He wanted this boy gone
He sighs and states "Trespassing, especially onto the Hawthorne estate, is a crime"
Cassian's grin disappears and he cocks his head to the side "Crime? Are you saying the police are gonna arrest me?"
"im saying they can if they are notified"
"Then let's not tell them." Cassian slightly juts out his lower lip
Grayson was appalled. Things like this should be notified. So no one else creeps onto the territory. Tobias Hawthorne was a man whose head multiple people wanted. Grayson didnt know who those people were or why, but he knew that with power, came risk.
"Are you seriously telling me I shouldn't tell someone that someone trespassed onto the territory?!"
Cassian shrugs and Grayson wants to strangle him, instead, he sighs exasperatedly
"How old are you?"
"11. Why?"
"Doesn't that explain so many things" Grayson says sarcastically and rolls his eyes
"What does that mean!?"
"Nothing you should be concerned about considering the situation you're in. How do you even plan to get out of here?"
Cassian looks a little confused "Huh? What do you mean? I'll just go back out the same way I came in"
Grayson scoffs "Thats not what I meant. Now, hypothetically, I don't tell on you, but do you really expect to just leave without a scratch? One of the guards could see you as you're trying to get out. Fate isn't in your hands"
Cassian pauses "But I already have scratches"
Grayson grits his teeth "Those are not the kind of scratches I'm talking about, Cassian"
"Doesn't matter." Cassian frowns slightly "What about you? How old are you?"
"I have no reason to tell you" Grayson replies dismissively, pauses, and then says "13"
The smirk on Cassian's face is smug "oh, so you're a baby. Like me"
"Baby?!" Grayson looks offended "I am not a baby!"
"You are" Cassian leans forward, and with one muddy finger, boops Grayson's nose "Boop!"
That's it. How dare this....this commoner touch him?! It was bad enough not knowing who he is, now this?!
"Do that again-" Grayson starts to threaten, but is cut off with another boop to the nose "Wha-"
"You said 'do it again' " Cassian smirks cheekily
"I swear to God-" Grayson takes a deep breath, composing himself. It was not like him to lose his temper over something like this "Do not do that again. Now, state your business for bothering me"
"Flowers." Cassian holds up the geraniums "For you."
Grayson paused, processing this information "......"
"you trespassed onto Hawthorne property to give me flowers?!"
Cassian nodded excitably
"You are either exceptionally smart or extremely stupid" Grayson sighs "i do not want your flowers"
"ill forgive you for calling me stupid, since I want to be your friend."
"i do not want you as a friend. Why would you even want to be friends with me?"
"Because you're a loner with no friends to bring you flowers" Cassian shrugs
Grayson had to admit, that stung. He did have so-called "friends", but he never was close with them, so they were more like strangers that he knew. But was he going to admit he didn't have friends to Cassian? Absolutely not.
"i have friends" Grayson grits through his teeth, fists clenching at his sides. He was getting impatient.
"No, you don't. I would've seen them if you did" Cassian says smugly
Grayson pauses, inhaling a sharp breath "you were stalking me?"
"i wouldnt say that," Cassian takes a step closer as Grayson takes one back "More like, saw you sitting here alone everyday as I passed by."
"And if i dont believe you?" Grayson says, internally prepared for a fight
"Well, I'm already here and giving you flowers. Red, right? Your favourite color?" he holds up the flowers again
"Youre a wierdo," Grayson slaps his hand away "i dont want your flowers."
Cassian frowns a little "oh. That's okay, maybe you hate these ones. I'll bring you some more tomorrow"
"Do not come back" Grayson grits
"im gonna" Cassian places the flowers at Grayson's feet, stands back up, looks at Grayson, shoots him a mischievous grin, and boops his nose again, making Grayson's nose officially the most booped part of his body.
Grayson opens his mouth to finally curse but Cassian starts running away "Oh, no, you don't." Grayson runs after him
But Cassian is surprisingly fast, and dodges Grayson multiple times
"We're playing tag, now?" Cassian snorts a laugh
Grayson realizes what's happening and stops dead in his tracks and frowns, glaring at Cassian.
"Leave." he says, barely holding on to his anger
"Why-" Cassian begins, but Grayson interrupts
"Leave before I tell on you. I'm giving you a free card once, don't expect it again" Grayson takes a breath through his teeth
Cassian slowly blinks at him, but then smiles softly and says "Okay! I'll figure out how to get out by myself next time"
Grayson watches as the boy sneakily watches out for the guards, and then darts into the woods without being seen, and eventually vanishes out of sight.
Grayson lets out a huff of irritation, and begins to walk back to the House, when he notices the muddy geraniums on the grass in front of him.
He hesitates for a second before picking them up.
I'll just throw them away, it doesn't matter. He thought
But a small part of Grayson, that he desperately tried to push away, wants to keep them. He doesn't want to admit it, but he really did not have any friends to bring him flowers. He was still suspicious of the boy, but he decided to see where all of this would end.
But for now, all he had to focus on was getting inside, taking a much needed shower, because of that pesky boy, and then attend lunch with his brothers and Grandfather.
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Tagging:
@never-enough-novels @pink-mask-06
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lees-chaotic-brain · 2 days
Note
You and I by richard hadley and the death ramps, toji, fluff if possible but anything else is great too!!
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WC: 2.4k
CW: sorry anon i threw a tad bit of hurt/comfort into the fluff, NOT beta read, editing what's that?, reader referred to as a biker girl, swearing, toji being a bad partner (dw he pulls it together), possibly very ooc idk i've never written for him before, plz don't ask how this got so long i honestly have no idea
taglist: @arlerts-angel @ponderingmoonlight @m0k0k0
listen to this while reading
Event Guide | Event Masterlist | JJK Masterlist | Blog Navigation
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There was something off about you. It left him unable to keep his eyes off you, but he didn't have the faintest idea of what it could be.
Was it the emotion in your music? No, that couldn’t be it because there almost always was some musician or another at the diner. And they were normally pretty decent. Maybe it was the motorcycle helmet and keys sitting next to your bag behind you. But he had been around biker girls before, so that didn’t make sense. What was it?
He always goes to this particular diner for lunch when he could, but today as he sat there examining you the place felt different. The smudges and signatures inked on the walls seemed to add to the atmosphere instead of being an eyesore, and the smell of grease and fast food almost comforting. The atmosphere seemed different today, and he felt like it had something to do with you.
Caught up in his musing, he didn’t even notice he was staring at you until you shot him a cheeky smile and a wink as you sang. Shaking his head to clear his mind, he refocused on his neglected lunch, shoveling it down to try and forget what your gaze had done to him. For some reason, he found himself wishing you would look at him again, that feeling lingering throughout the rest of the day and into the next.
I like the way you look at me baby
Toji Fushiguro doesn’t make mistakes. Not because he was born perfect, but because the reality of his life was that one mistake meant death. In a world where cursed energy was deemed necessary to fight curses he made do with brute strength alone. Which worked. Normally.
See, for his way of doing things to work, he needed to have his head in the game. To be one hundred and ten percent focused on the fight at hand. So why the fuck was he thinking about you? And why the actual fuck was the thought of you enough to throw him off his game??
These were all things running through his head as he finished off the curse before slumping to the ground beside it, one large hand pressed against the wound on his ribs as blood seeped out through his fingers.
He couldn’t afford to lose focus. One moment of distraction and this had happened. If it weren’t for his quick reflexes he would be dead right now. So he had no choice. He had to get to the bottom of this. He had to go back and see you again, if only to see what made you so special. All so that he could focus on his job, of course.
At least that’s what he told himself as he returned to the diner, hoping to see you again.
I act as if I'm not going crazy
Girl I'm in a muddle tonight
Packing up your stuff after a long gig at your local diner, you couldn’t wait to get home. Caught up in your fantasies of a hot bath and a pack of instant ramen, you didn’t notice the man approaching you until he stopped in front of you, his shadow blocking the light.
“Sorry, they’re closed, I'm just headed out now.” You look up, vaguely recognizing the hunk of muscle that stood in front of you. Oh, that’s right. He’s the guy who was staring at you during your performance the other day. You wondered what he needed.
“Give me your number.”
“Excuse me?” Of all the things you expected him to say, demanding your number was not one of them. “May I ask why you need it?”
“Just cause.” He folds his beefy arms across his chest, not wavering as you narrow your eyes and scrutinize him, unsure if he’s being serious. Unfortunately, you think he is.
“Listen.” You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. “I’ve had a long day. I’m tired. I want to go home. If you want my number, you have to give me something more to work with here, buddy.”
“Buddy?” He quirks an eyebrow, a smirk stretching the small scar at the corner of his mouth. “Do I look like a “buddy” to you?” 
You make a show of examining him closely before straightening. “No, you’re right. You look like the guy who ate my buddy. Which is exactly why I don’t think I should give you my number.”
And with that, you sling your bag over your shoulder and leave, climbing on your bike and speeding away. Assuming that would be the last you saw of him, you were surprised when you arrived for your next performance and found him waiting there for you.
“Didn’t get enough of me, huh.” You snark, breezing by him. “At least leave a nice tip this time, ‘kay?”
“No.” His deep voice rumbles from behind you, and you spin to see him staring at you with a stupidly sexy grin on his stupidly hot face. 
“Why not?”
“Cause I’m broke.” 
You’re unable to hold your snort in, surprised and amused by his unashamed bluntness. Still laughing to yourself, you turn around and pat his bicep. 
“Sorry, buddy.” His mouth quirks at your emphasis on the offensive word. “Now you’re definitely not getting my number.”
With that, you walk inside, leaving him outside on the sidewalk with a sneaking suspicion that he just fell in love with you. 
Would you tell me where you're gonna take it
If I had a heart you're the one who should break it
Two years later and he has successfully obtained your number, and the two of you are now in a semi-serious relationship. Surprisingly, you were the one to initiate the relationship, despite repeatedly rejecting him when you first met.
At first things had been really nice, as close to perfect as things could be, in your opinion. He was by no means a gentleman, or good with his words, but his dry humor and actions were enough to convey his affection towards you. And that was enough.
Or, at least it was, until he stopped showing up. About a year or so into your relationship he started standing you up occasionally due to work. Honestly, you weren’t entirely sure what his job was, only that it required him to travel and stay in good shape. 
The first few times it happened, you brushed it off. After all you were both adults with jobs and lives outside of each other. Of course you would be busy. But then it started happening more and more, and the periods of time he was gone became longer and longer. 
 The breaking point came around your two year anniversary. You had received a job offer that would require you to move, and as much as you wanted to take it you knew you had to talk it over with him first. There was just one problem. You hadn’t seen him in over a month.  
With your two year anniversary approaching, you really wanted to try and reconnect because you hadn’t felt close to him in awhile, and with this job opportunity on the horizon you had to think about whether or not continuing your relationship was worth it.
So you told him that you really wanted to celebrate your two year anniversary with him, and that you had something important to tell him. Not ready to give up on your relationship yet, you put a lot of effort into the night, buying a new dress and cooking a nice dinner for the two of you to share. 
But just as you finish setting the table and tidying up the house because he’s due to arrive any second, your phone dings.
Toji <3: Sorry. Won’t be able to make it tonight. Took another job. I’ll be back next week.
The engines running, can't decide if I should ride away
Tired and sore from the last job he had accepted, Toji heads back to your shared apartment, eager to see you again. He didn’t particularly enjoy taking on new jobs, but money didn’t grow on trees so he didn’t really have a choice. He did miss your cooking and affection when he was gone though.
Fumbling with his keys, he finally manages to get the door open and steps inside, only to be greeted by a dark apartment. That was strange. Normally you were home by now. The thought crosses his mind that something could have happened to you, and he slips into the living room, panic stirring in his stomach. 
Moving with an amount of stealth unexpected of someone his size, he checks the entire apartment, only to find it empty, with no sign of…anything, really. Realizing that you could just be out with friends, he flicks on the lights and plops down on the couch with a sigh. 
Stretching his arms above his head and yawning, a piece of paper sitting innocently on the coffee table with his name on it catches his attention. Absentmindedly cracking his neck, he reaches down and grabs it, gently unfolding it.
His heart sinks as he scans it, your familiar handwriting suddenly illegible. Because there’s no way he’s reading this right. There’s no way you left. There was no reason for you to. Things were great between the two of you. At least, that’s what he had thought, but according to the letter in his hands you didn’t feel the same way.
The next few minutes pass in a blur of tearing open dresser drawers and frantically searching closets for a sign that you hadn’t packed up all of your belongings and left. But all he found was empty space, the smell of your perfume still lingering in the air, despite it being devoid of your presence.
Finally taking a moment to stop and process, he finds himself wondering what he’s so worked up about. So what if you left? It’s not like he needs you or anything. He didn’t even do anything to warrant you leaving! Sure he missed your anniversary, but he planned to make it up to you when he got back! And maybe it wasn’t even the first time he had stood you up like that on an important date, but if you were willing to leave over something as miniscule as that, were you even worth keeping?
At least that’s what he kept telling himself as he went on with his life pretending there wasn't a gaping hole in his life that you used to fill.
Too stubborn to be the first person to reach out when he still felt he hadn’t done anything, a month went by without any contact between the two of you. In the beginning it didn’t bother him that much, because the reality hadn’t fully set in yet. But slowly as the weeks wore on, so too did the absence of all the little things he hadn’t realized he took for granted.
Like the way your quiet humming brought life to the otherwise dull apartment. Or the way your things scattered around on various surfaces had been a constant reassurance of your presence. He missed you scolding him and telling him he needed to take a break, he missed your laughter, he missed your kisses, he-fuck.
He missed you so much. What was he doing?
I had a woman, she went away
And now I'm lonely, fuck it
It’s now been a month since you left in a storm of hurt feelings and anger, but you still hadn’t heard from him. Deep down, you hadn’t expected to actually break up. You figured you would leave and time to cool down. Then when he got back and realized you left it would be a major wake up call for him and he would come running to you with an apology and then he would change.
Instead you got radio silence. You weren’t too concerned the first week because you knew Toji was as stubborn as you were and probably didn’t want to be the first one to reach out and admit he was wrong. 
So you waited (semi) patiently, but when a second, then a third week went by without a word, you were faced with the possibility that he wouldn’t ever call. That the two of you truly were over.
Which is why when you were awoken from your nap on the couch by loud knocking at three in the afternoon, you shouted informing them that you would be there in a second as you adjusted your clothes assuming that someone just needed you to sign for a package or something like that.
What you were definitely not expecting to see was your kinda ex-boyfriend standing stiffly in your doorway, staring steadfastly at something over your head.
“Um. Hello?” You lean against the door frame and tuck your hands into your pockets, hoping to conceal their trembling. “You need something?”
“Yes. Actually. I do.” His eyes met yours, and you were shocked by the raw emotions swirling in them. “I need us. Together. You with me. Me with you. The way things are meant to be. I know I can be a bit of an asshole sometimes-”
You snort and raise your eyebrows. “Well, a lot of the time.” He amended, rolling his eyes.
“But, I do really care about you and while I’m not the greatest with my words, or the brightest guy you’ll ever meet, I promise that if you call me out on my bullshit I’ll listen and do my best to change.”
You pretend to think it over, as if the two of you getting back together wasn’t inevitable the second you saw him standing in your doorway. “Let me see…oh wait. One second.”
Pulling out your phone you tap away for a couple of seconds before sliding it into your back pocket. “Sorry ‘bout that. I just accepted this job. Let me get back to you in a week.” With that snarky comment and a smug wink, you shut the door firmly in his face and he hears the sound of the deadbolt clicking into place seconds later.
For a moment he stands there, unsure what to do before he starts laughing. There was the feisty person he had fallen in love with and missed so desperately. And when he heard your quiet chuckles coming from the other side of the door, he knew the two of you would be okay.
The two of you were able to laugh and be together. Just the way you belong.
You and I
You and I
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princesscallyie · 5 months
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Me when I'm listening to the most stupidest story about my mom giving my brother $1500 for a down payment for a 2nd car while his in the shop for a deer hitting him and him losing the nonrefundable $1500 cause he drove 2 hours away to a scummy dealership and he didn't get approve for enough credit from the bank
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#like... idk maybe cause I don't have a son but does anyone else have experience with a mom acting delulu for their son???#like... 1st she paid $17k for the brand new 2022 which he traded in behind her back so he can get a 'fast car'#he got in an accident in the fast car mom put the parts to repair on her credit cards#since now the fast car wasnt pretty any more with mixmatch parts he traded in that car for a lexus for payments#which is dumb cause the whole excuse on why he traded in the 2022 cause he didn't want payments#he hit a deer with the lexus and i guess he thought they was gonna total the car cause he was already looking for a new one#but they gonna fix the lexus but he still went to try to get that car...#and that lady just agreed to it...#he owes her thousands of dollars...#she keeps on saying 'oh well he got a new job making $17 an hour and plus he's working a part time he's gonna pay me back#he's been saying that since he traded the 2022 and he barely paid you anything...#like why are you enabling his impulse purchasing???#he thinks these cars are like toys or something and you just letting him use your cash and credit like that...#then she's like... 'well I would do the same for us' referring to us other daughters#but like... we're not idiots that would purposely put you in these situations...#why on earth does he need a 2nd car??? he only making $17 an hour plus a part time job??? you live at home??? why did you agree to this???#just tell him no for once????#idk I feel like I'm going crazy or am I just super stingy with my money and credit score?#callyie chat
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maddy-ferguson · 7 months
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i was so ahead of the curve the curve became a sphere is literally me i skipped a grade and now my friends from high school are done with school and are getting their first jobs and stuff and i'm in school with people who were born two years after me. like i lost three full years lmaooo
#but i'm not that mad or sad about it because i don't mind not working like AT A JOB i'm even considering going into academia which would#mean even more years but like we'll see because i will have spent EIGHT YEARS in university when i'm done since it's five years to like. do#anything actually do something. only three more years to go yay#year 1: depressed year 2: not as depressed but i failed the classes i needed to pass to do the thing i wanted to be doing so i was kinda#stuck but i didn't know what else i wanted to study so i was like. i'll just do this get through my three years and then i'll do something#i like better. because i could have theoretically. except. i did not love it and i wasn't particularly good at it. also was still depressed#for like the entire first semester and my first year i passed for like my first semester so during my second year i had classes for year 2#during one semester classes for year 1 during another semester. it's actually easy but i don't know if that'll make sense the way i wrote#it. year 3 was 2020-2021 so covid and like i was saying the other day i was NOT working like i was kind of for the first semester but. oh#my god. my favorite class i learned like 60 pages like what we had to learn was 60 pages long and then you had to do like an essay or#whatever idk. no it wasn't even an essay but i czn't explain. i got like. a 3.5. OUT OF 20#so i was like yeah i'm not doing this anymore this is obviously not working for me so for the rest of the year (oh yeah we had class online#fully from november to well april when it ends) i was like. rewatching grey's anatomy and whatnot. that's when i rewatched grey's. also ahs#my not working semester in 2021 is also when i watched dawson's creek! because that's when they put it on netflix.#fun fact#good times honestly? but yeah#also i think about some of the things i learned a lot like it's very good to know i'm glad that i know it#i Am bitter but it's for other reasons#and like i say: brf slt#rory dropping out of yale is kinda so me if i had ever dropped out😁 which is why her graduating on time is very annoying and boring. her#ass should not have graduated on time...
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cruelsister-moved2 · 1 year
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I think people have confused the fact that it's definitely possible to go "look this magical guy told me these are the rules so now you all have to obey" with believing that religion is intrinsically just that. and it's like they just discount the possibility that anyone has ever earnestly believed in a higher authority or genuinely had a mystical experience or whatever. the thing is if you actually observe how religious people behave, especially if you look outside of like evangelical megachurch pastors who are clearly just grifting, it immediately becomes pretty hard to ignore that.
for every example of religion maintaining inequality u have muslim charities successfully preventing FGM by informing muslim communities who perpetrate it that it's haram, sikhs opposing casteism, early christians fighting gender inequality etc etc etc + on an individual level literally countless people who have fought against poverty and oppression on the basis of religious belief. like... IS it really something specific about religion or is it the fact that hegemony will naturally pick up and spread whatever supports it and suppress whatever doesn't?because the same can also be said of like... music... so are u going to say music is just a tool of the elite or whatever? bc it definitely can be. but it's equally a tool for resisting oppression and also just a significant part of the human experience.
aren't we meant to be postmodernists now like i think maybe things sometimes do just happen sometimes. what Society does with it after the fact is another question, but if you look at the history of religion I'm surprised if you don't come away with some awareness that genuine belief in some sort of authority or mechanism which is outside of human control can be something very transformative. like the fundamental innovation of the torah was to say that every human life is equal to every other human life in opposition to the code of hammurabi which said that some people's life = other people's pocket change. only a power which comes from somewhere outside human society would be able to ensure that law was applied fairly and equally to all rather than manipulated on the whim of the human with the most power to enforce it. if the "abrahamic" religions can be said to have anything in common at all, it's probably a call to humbleness and the value of every human being. much to think about!!!!
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gentlethorns · 11 months
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fuck dude i have got to find a job where i can be self-employed and creative. i cannot be in fucking retail hell anymore
#she bork#tbd#like now i don't deal w customers which is cool but now that i work at like a big retail store and not a little mall outlet the pressure is#insane. and i have bosses who never say good job or thank you and who have set me up to fail by throwing a department on me that i was not#hired to run or trained for and frankly don't have time to run properly either. so every week just starts w me in our weekly meeting being a#fucking piñata like 'why didn't you get this done 🤨 you need to manage your time better 🤨 you're losing sales 🤨' and i'm like i'm trying!!!!#what more can i do!!!!!! and then the side of it i actually kind of enjoy (which is what i was originally hired to do) is very very hard on#my body bc it's a very physical job (i run the team that unloads the trucks every day and like i'm usually helping unload bc i'm not just#gonna stand there and watch while my team busts their asses lol) and now i'm finding out that it's actually not normal to wake up every day#w your joints screaming and stiff and that i might have a chronic condition (doctor is thinking some sort of chronic inflammatory arthritis#but i won't know if my imaging and blood tests showed anything until like mid-june) and i'm like. so even the part of my job that i don't#mind as much is not good bc it's like actively destroying my body. okay sick 🤠 and i don't wanna quit bc i've only been there for like#eight months and this job would be really valuable on a resume but i don't want it to look like i'm a job hopper or like i'm fickle or#unreliable. so i'm stuck here for a while i think. but the pressure is destroying me mentally and i know i need to find a position somewhere#else that is 1. not fucking goddamn retail bc retail will always be hell and 2. not management bc i don't see myself ever really getting#into upper management but lower/middle management gets shit on the most so if i go somewhere else and end up in middle management i'll be#right back to wanting to kill myself in a matter of months. basically i'm tired of expectations and pressure and stress and i'm tired of#waking up at fucking 2:30 every morning just to go in and get shit on and destroy my body all over something that in the end i do not fuckin#care about. i need to make art and be held accountable by only myself. idk i've been toying w the idea of learning how to tattoo and trying#to start establishing some artistic skill so maybe eventually i can do that? not now bc the economy sucks and that's scary lol and anyway i#have to give myself some time to actually learn the skill and perfect a style. but it makes decent money (at least before the expense of#supplies and taxes) and allows you to travel and still work and also it would be fun. and i could tattoo myself so it would cut some#expenses for me since i cannot stay away from the damn needle. idk lol i need to save some money before i buy a tattoo gun or anything but#i'm considering it bc i am going fucking crazy rn and ik this feeling will leave me eventually but i also know it will come back bc it#always does. and i'm tired of just surviving and just making it through every day and every week like i want to be happy and this is just#not doing it for me anymore#ugh fuck why couldn't i have been born w a brain that likes numbers and code and technology. i love being an artist but it makes finding a#sustainable career really difficult bc i feel so restless and miserable when i'm stuck in a passionless job but my passions are not#particularly profitable. hate it here why wasn't i born a capybara no job no responsibility just squint and squeak and sun
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hua-fei-hua · 2 years
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i love to spend an hour composing a message in chinese to the people in genshin impact who see the name 小白雪花 on the north america server and believe me to also be living in mainland china, explaining that although i am but a lowly american-born taiwanese and therefore almost functionally illiterate, i know enough to respond to a request for help and also be able to kill things in two hits
#it is now an hour past my bedtime but it'll be fiiiine#something i do notice when sitting down to compose chinese messages is that. there DOES SEEM to be some sort of improvement going on#like the brain will start pulling up phrases i didn't previously know how to use n i'll look em up to make sure they're right#i think it's a side effect of both playing gnshn cn dubbed and also the retranslation work i do on the game sometimes#when studying its lore/for nat when she is studying its lore#it never feels like anything sticks no matter how often i see the words tho. i'll be like 'oh i recognize that word.'#but i won't know how to say it or what it means so that's embarrassing#花話#anyway. at least if any of them ask why i chose the name 小白雪花 it's an easy explanation. '因為我最喜歡化學' lol#很喜歡花花;最喜歡化學;就感覺'雪花'就是很可愛的名字#i also suspect that my frequent avoidance of 'i' when speaking will make me sound extremely formal and/or polite#or maybe it will make me sound old. i don't know. i suspect that i speak in a way that's at least influenced by my mother#like i was composing the thing right. and i was like 'i already used this word. we need to find a synonym or else we'll die'#'we need it to be a fancy synonym. mom used a fancy synonym one time two years ago. let's find that one.'#funny enough this is also my thought process when writing fic in english half the time#idk if i mentioned this before. but my writing process and style feels very chinese to me#it is also important to me that i specify to these people that i am a ~taiwanese~#i have no idea how this makes them feel. but it is my way of signalling 'i do not read simplified well n hope you can read traditional'#and also for cultural heritage pride reasons too
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theghostofashton · 21 days
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#i keep thinking about that post from yesterday abt like someone using a ratio of 1 kudos to 10 hits to decide if a fic is worth trying#the notes are full of people criticizing that method (rightfully)#but i also think there's something to be said about the critiques writers get for caring about stats#yet at the same time people admitting shit like this#like how can you scoff at writers for being upset their fics have low hits or kudos or whatever#if that is how people decide what fics are 'worthy of their time'#as someone who for a period of time had such an unhealthy relationship with stats#it really is just such a vicious cycle like you always want more and you keep increasing the number in your head#you're aiming for a certain number regularly until that number becomes consistent and then you want more#it just never stops and you find yourself focused more on that than anything else#there was a point where i was writing whatever i could rushing stuff out in like an hour because i was so desperate for comments#i'm so glad to have let that mindset go but like#if we want to let it go entirely as fic writers readers need to also not be saying shit like this#if you don't want stats to matter stop insisting that they do#there is genuinely so much that goes into why certain fics get more popular and others don't#having so much to do with what's going on in the fandom or what happened in the media or what the fic is about#it's variable and inconsistent as fuck and that's why tying your self worth to it is guaranteed to be upsetting#sometimes just the way people go in on fic writers for......daring to want people to read stuff we worked hard on is just so. beyond words#it is natural and normal to want attention on something you've created when you share it publicly. there is nothing wrong w that#idk idk what my point is here just. be kind to fic authors#read fics with 'low stats'#read things that look interesting remember every person posting fic is just someone who loves the thing they're writing about#so much that they wanted to share it with you#don't lose sight of that#neha rambles
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