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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

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Curse-breaker (Chapter 4/4)

- ao3 -

“You know him, right?” Jiang Cheng asked Lan Xichen. He was trying not to appear as nervous as he felt in asking, but he was pretty sure he was failing. “Nie-gongzi?”

Lan Xichen smiled. “I do. And thank you for calling him that, he prefers it.”

There were those that had started calling him Curse-breaker, as if it were a proper title; Jiang Cheng had heard it said a few times, and while he didn’t personally disagree with the moniker, which seemed appropriate, he also knew better than to just drop it into a conversation.

Luckily. He was trying to make a good impression here.

“What’s he like?” Jiang Cheng blurted out, then immediately wanted to kick himself. “I mean – it’s just – I didn’t see him much when he visited the Lotus Pier –”

He was making it worse.

It was only that he’d never quite met anyone with so much presence as Nie Mingjue: taller even than Jiang Cheng’s father, with that strange eye that seemed to see everything and anything. His features were generally set in a neutral expression that made him seem almost unworldly, like some god untouched by human concerns, but which sometimes softened a little when he approved of something – or someone.

Jiang Cheng could feel his cheeks going red, and tried to suppress it.

“Mingjue-xiong liked you,” Lan Xichen said, and Jiang Cheng lost the battle at once, his whole face heating up until it felt unbearably hot. This was worse than the time that Nie Mingjue had come to the Lotus Pier and told his parents to value Jiang Cheng more or else, and then his father had come in with a smirk and a snarl and somehow made them do it. “He said so.”

“He did?”

“Oh, yes. He said you were talented and faithful, with a good heart, and that we’d see great things from you.”

Jiang Cheng was going to die.

“That’s nice,” he said, with an effort. “I thought very highly of him, too. He’s…great.”

Wow. ‘Great’. Was that really the best he could do?

Lan Xichen studied him for a moment, then nodded. “He really is,” he said, and sighed. “I had the same reaction, you know. He’s…a lot.”

Jiang Cheng felt seen. “I know,” he said effusively. “He’s just – you know?”

“I do,” Lan Xichen said. “Just –”

He waved his hand in the air. Not even making some sort of gesture, just a meaningless sort of wave, but for some reason Jiang Cheng understood him completely.

There really just weren’t words sometimes, when you wanted to describe things or people that inspired feelings that went beyond the merely describable. Nie Mingjue was one of those – Jiang Cheng had known that Lan Xichen would understand, and sure enough, he did.

And to think that Wei Wuxian liked Lan Wangji better!

Really, his shixiong might be more talented than Jiang Cheng in many ways, ways that were often a matter of jealousy, but Jiang Cheng clearly had better taste.

“Oh, there you are,” a voice said, and Jiang Cheng tensed and turned to look – but it was only Wen Qing, so that was fine. “Lan-gongzi, Jiang-gongzi, I was sent to spend some time with you.”

She probably meant that she was sent away so that the adults would have time to talk about issues they thought were too sensitive to involve the younger generation, or else they just wanted to start drinking earlier in the afternoon than usual and didn’t want her judging them from a medical standpoint. Either might be true – Wen Qing was widely acclaimed as one of the most talented in their generation, as terrifying with her needles as other people might be with their sword, from more or less the first moment she’d finally been allowed to join the rest of them on equal grounds.

They greeted her, trying to stand up to be polite, but she waved them down irritably and took a seat instead. “What are you two talking about?”

“Nie Mingjue,” Lan Xichen said, and Jiang Cheng nodded. “We were just commenting on his many admirable qualities.”

Jiang Cheng nodded a second time, even more emphatically.

Wen Qing looked at them both with that critical eye of hers for a long moment.

Then she sighed in a huff. “He’s really all that and more, isn’t he?” she said.

“He is,” Lan Xichen said.

“He’s just –” Jiang Cheng tried the same gesture as Lan Xichen earlier, and was gratified when Wen Qing started nodding herself in total agreement. “Right?”

“Right.”

Nie Mingjue was aware that many people liked to stare at them, but they had assumed it was because of how unusual they were – even putting aside the eye, which was their most obviously not-normal feature, their behavior was not always in line with regular people’s. They didn’t show their emotions on their face as easily, being more naturally inclined towards sternness, and their manner was both sharp and incisive, straightforward and blunt; they had missed critical years of social development while lost in what amounted to seclusion, too busy solidifying their sense of self, consolidating their we into an I.

(They were still trying to figure out gender, a process complicated by the fact that it hadn’t made much sense to either of them to begin with. They were starting to suspect it would be better to just give up on it entirely.)

It turned out, according to Nie Huaisang, that that was not why all those people were staring.

“When you say they like me…”

“Sexually or romantically attracted, usually both,” Nie Huaisang said. “You have a lot of would-be suitors. Lan Xichen, Jiang Cheng, Wen Qing, Wen Ning, Jiang Yanli –”

“I don’t think you’re supposed to use their names directly like that,” Nie Mingjue said, though they weren’t sure about that. They’d forgotten more etiquette than they’d ever learned. “Also, isn’t Jiang Yanli getting married to Jin Zixuan?”

“He’s another of your admirers. As is Meng Yao…no, sorry, Jin Ziyao. You know he secretly thinks that you killed Jin Guangshan for him, right?”

They’d killed Jin Guangshan because he was rotten through and through, and he didn’t even have a qi deviation or a tormenting heart demon to blame for it. He just thought of people as things, even the ones he supposedly liked, and acted accordingly…they hadn’t really thought through the consequences of killing him when they’d done it, having long ago forgotten the concept of political considerations, but it was really amazing what could be covered up or excused if multiple sect leaders put their minds to it while the rest just breathed a sigh of relief that Jin Guangshan was gone.

“That seems like too many people,” they said. “They can’t all be my…admirers.”

“You think that’s it? I haven’t even gotten to Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian – both at once, if that’s your preferred flavor – and even that feral child Jin Ziyao found in Kuizhou…you know just the other week, he loudly declared that you were better than sweets and the entire room sighed all at once in agreement?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not. There are even rumors that say that Sect Leader Wen might be interested…”

They shrugged.

Nie Huaisang squinted at them. “Da-ge. Did you know about that one?”

“Sect Leader Wen is not subtle,” they said dryly. “But if it makes you feel better, his interest is purely a matter of cultivation, and also our father has already hit him for even making the suggestion.”

Nie Huaisang didn’t look impressed. “Are you sure it’s purely a matter of cultivation? Would you be able to tell if it wasn’t?”

Nie Mingjue considered how little they’d recognized any of the other people who were purportedly interested in them. “No,” they admitted.

“Hmm. What about Teacher Lan?”

“What about Teacher Lan?” they asked, suspicious.

“Nothing, nothing. Just something I read somewhere…”

Probably one of those spring books that he was always sneaking around, they concluded.

“Though…you have been going out of your way to meet up with Teacher Lan more often recently…”

“He’s helping me figure out some of the bureaucratic intricacies of changing succession,” they said. “He’s had the most experience, having to do it twice – once to get his brother out of the line of succession, and another to get him back in. He’s a good teacher.”

He was, too. For all of Nie Huaisang’s tall tales about Lan Qiren’s strictness and overly-rigid insistence on orthodoxy, the man himself had a very calming presence, still and tranquil. It made them think of a musical instrument and, using the Nie cultivation method as a base, start to think strange thoughts…

Though not the sorts of thoughts Nie Huaisang had in mind.

“I mean, I guess. Even I learned eventually, and – wait. Why do you need to know about how to change succession? You’re already the heir.”

“That’s the problem,” Nie Mingjue said. “I need to figure out how to abdicate my position in your favor.”

Nie Huaisang gaped at him.

“No, I’m not joking,” they said, because they knew their little brother. “I’m not suited for politics. I don’t think I ever was, and after everything that happened, I’m even less suited.”

They really weren’t. Too blunt, too sharp, too concerned with justice, too inhuman – they were good at fighting, in the sense that they knew how to be a saber as well as a human and could wield sharpness in the same way, a slash from their fingers being enough to cleave a man in half, but that wasn’t what being a sect leader was about.

No, Nie Huaisang would be much better at it.

“Da-ge, you can’t do this to me!” Nie Huaisang wailed. “Do you know how much work it’d be? Anyway, you can’t – our father’s already promised all of Qinghe Nie to your future spouse! So there!”

“Then I just won’t ever get married.”

“What?!” Nie Huaisang waved his hands wildly. “You can’t do that! You – you – do you know how many hearts you’d be breaking?!”

“So you’ve informed me,” Nie Mingjue said dryly. “It’s all right, Huaisang. I rather like the life Teacher Lan has made for himself, traveling all around and coming back every few seasons to teach something. I want to fight evil, and there’s a lot more evil out there than there is in here.”

Or, at minimum, there was more evil of the sort they were allowed to just stab. That was apparently frowned upon, in politics – there was a reason they said they weren’t suited for it.

“You’re not suited for fighting evil with a blade,” they added while Nie Huaisang was still spluttering. “But you can do wonders with people, if you’re given enough time to plan it. Being sect leader will put you in the position that will let you fight evil best, in your own way.”

“Not everything is about fighting evil, da-ge!”

“Isn’t it?”

Nie Huaisang didn’t seem to have a good answer to that.

After a while, he finally said, “…you really think I’d be good at it?”

Nie Mingjue pulled their younger brother in for a hug.

“You’ll be magnificent,” they promised.

They liked travel, just as they’d suspected they would.

People always recognized them – the eye was very distinctive, and they were also very tall – and immediately rushed over to share all their problems. They were very happy to help. Some of them they could fix personally, generally the ones that were stabbable, while they had a wide enough set of acquaintances to deal with many of the others: those who needed healing to go to the Lan sect or Wen sect, depending on whether problem was mental or physical; those that needed advancement to the Jin sect or Jiang sect; mysteries to be solved to the newly established Wei sect over in Yiling; and anyone with anything more abstruse than that over to Nie Huaisang personally to sort of.

Their little brother liked a good puzzle.

As for Nie Mingjue’s part, they liked fighting evil, and they liked helping people, too, if they could manage it, so it all worked out quite well. The road could be a little lonely at times, all alone with no one around, but it wasn’t really that bad. They were welcome at just about every cultivation sect and most of the other places they’d passed by, so it wasn’t like they were lacking for company if they wanted it.

It was only sometimes that they wished that there was someone else who might want to share this type of life with them.

It was a difficult life, always roving and never satisfied, intent on fighting evil for an eternity and prizing the doing of it over normal things, everyday things; they knew that they couldn’t ask someone else to take on a mission so absurd as stamping out all evil in the world, and so they didn’t. Who would be so foolish as that? Not everyone could leave behind all their responsibilities and ties to the world the way they did, passing instead through their beloved one’s lives by chance like a leaf tossed in the wind – nor should they, if those ties gave them joy.

Take their current mission, for example. One of Nie Mingjue’s earlier trips had taken them from Yiling to the Baixue Temple, with the highly unorthodox Wei sect’s equally unorthodox head disciple, Xue Yang, tagging along with them so that they could – in Wei Wuxian’s words – beat some sense into his head, and it had been on that trip that they had met Song Lan, who was thoroughly charmed by the idea of a sect established on principles of brotherhood rather than blood.

He'd also been rather charmed, they thought, by Xue Yang himself, and the interest had been mutual.

(They were getting better at recognizing that sort of thing.)

So Song Lan had gone off with them, with Nie Mingjue dropping both him and Xue Yang back in Yiling, and when he’d gone back again another time they had seemed very happy. But Song Lan had been thinking about his master and martial brothers back at home, and he’d asked if Nie Mingjue would be willing to carry along some letters that he didn’t dare trust to the post.

Nie Mingjue, suspecting a request regarding marriage was involved, had readily agreed. Sure enough, once they’d dropped it off, the entire Baixue Temple had all but exploded in excitement – they’d barely managed to make it out of there in time to avoid being dragged into all the fuss.

And now they were wandering around nearby, shaking their head in amusement at all the noise they’d left behind, looking for something more interesting to do. Some evil to fight, or something like that.

They found both.

“Well, that was exhilarating,” they commended to the cultivator in white that had worked together with them to defeat a rather astounding number of evil creatures in an effort to save some rogue cultivators who’d gotten in over their heads. Nie Mingjue’s reputation was already ridiculous, and was only going to get worse, they knew, but really this was a lot even for them. They wouldn’t have been able to manage it without help.

“It was,” the cultivator said, and smiled at them. “My name is Xiao Xingchen, disciple of Baoshan Sanren. Who are you?”

“Nie Mingjue,” they said. They thought they’d heard of Baoshan Sanren before, but they weren’t entirely sure – they had a tendency to forget things that weren’t that important to them. They thought it might be something to do with Wei Wuxian’s mother –something to do with the immortal mountain, and a doom that fell on those who descended from it…?

“If you don’t mind me asking, why did those rogue cultivators call you Curse-breaker?” Xiao Xingchen asked.

They thought about it for a moment, then shrugged.

Xiao Xingchen laughed.

It was a warm sound.

“Where are you going?” Nie Mingjue asked. “I can escort you, if you like.”

“Don’t you have things of your own to be doing?”

“Not really,” Nie Mingjue said. “I want to eradicate all evil in this world, a task that’ll take me a lifetime – and evil can be found anywhere. Why not with you?”

Xiao Xingchen ducked his head. “I don’t have a destination either,” he admitted. “I came down from the mountain because I wanted to help save all the people in the world.”

Nie Mingjue blinked. That was nearly as stupidly idealistic a goal as theirs.

“Well, then,” they said, and smiled. “In that case, why don’t we go together?”

It would be nice to have company, unrestrained by any obligations tied to the mortal world, and in return they could show Xiao Xingchen everything there was to see – introduce him to all the people, eat all the food, fight all the battles. And if in the end it turned out that that doom people talked about in regards to the mountain really was a thing…

Well, they’d see about that.

After all, Nie Mingjue had a bit of experience with curses like that.

#mdzs #nie mingjue #jiang cheng #lan xichen #wen qing #xiao xingchen #my fic #my fics #cursebreaker #hey remember when I asked for help in deciding the ship

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theregoesmylurkerstatus · 3 years

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So... I have a lot of thoughts on the finale. I've deliberately kept my mouth shut, more or less, on the campaign overall because I'm a firm believer that you can't pass judgement -- at least not complete judgement -- on stories until they're over and done with.

Well, it's done! Kind of crazy. I've been watching Critical Role with almost insane consistency, viewing almost every single episode live, with maybe five-ish exceptions, since episode 19, and I've been blogging it for, what, two and a half years?

It's a weird feeling. It's been such a constant thing for me that I'm always gonna have love for it and remember with a lot of fondness.

...Which is in spite of the fact that I can now comfortably say I'm pretty eh on the ending. I know not being positive about something most of us have loved a lot for a very long time can sting a bit, but I personally think it also stings when people relentlessly crow over how good they think it is or want it to be, to the point where you feel you can't voice your absolutely valid upsets or dissatisfactions. So, here goes, if anyone's interested! I'd be curious to see other opinions, too!

I actually drafted a post talking about my overall frustrations with the campaign a whole two weeks ago, and then scrapped most of it when 140 blew me out of the water. I was really touched, and really happy. I hadn't expected it, but it shockingly felt right, you know?

Unfortunately 141 robbed me of most of that satisfaction and brought me right back to neutral.

The blanket statement you have to make, of course, is that you can’t criticise this as a DnD game, and you can’t be mad at the cast for playing it in a way they think is best for them. They’re the players, Matt’s the DM, and in the end it makes no sense for them to try to make themselves act how they think the audience wants them to, and I’m sure most of the audience wouldn’t like the result anyway.

That said, there is an audience. And that’s where I see this clash coming in. As a DnD game, as long as the players and DM have all enjoyed it and been satisfied, it’s a successful game! But for us, it’s not a DnD game. For us, we’re watching a story be written in real time through the medium of an RPG. And while as a DnD game you can’t fault it, as a piece of media, I completely get why the way things have gone has sat weirdly for a lot of people.

It's not satisfying to see so many character hooks dealt with so quickly or left as an offscreen "and then you do it." If they don't want to keep playing to dive into it, absolutely, but for us who have been watching this as a story with all these character elements get so built up, it's a huge anti-climax.

Which is a lot of what this campaign has been, really.

Oh, Nott’s cursed! But through a really cool character moment that problem is completely taken care of with no consequences we see. Yay, I want her to be Veth and that was an iconic move from Jester! Still, it kind of feels like this was built up to be a big problem and at the first success it was let go... Caleb's got a really intense frightening past he tries to hide, I wonder how the Mighty Nein will respond? Oh, they found out, but it's not a difficult revelation for anyone. Looks like it's easy for them to move past it and forgive. Yeah, that's healthiest for the characters, but huh, kinda undercuts it as a storyline or point of interest. Oooh, Avantika’s back! Ah, they’ve killed her and grabbed the eye again. I mean I don’t want them to die or for Uk’otoa to be free, but I’m starting to feel like that’s not much of a threat anyway. The Traveler’s been kidnapped! Nah he hasn’t, he tried to save Jester so he was let go with no further issue, and also he wasn’t actually in any danger anyway. Oh... Cool. So... Why should I care or be worried?

And these are just the biggest ones I remember being kind of let down by. I wanted to see them STRUGGLE for the successes to have meaning. To my view, threats of failure -- real failure -- really decreased the more the campaign went on, with a few exceptions.

Because don't get me wrong, we've definitely had struggles, and those have made for some of the best moments! Molly’s death, Yasha’s kidnapping, Yeza’s imprisonment. When failures that were threatened are allowed to occur, it’s far more gratifying when it’s followed by success, because you understand that that success was actually necessary. It shows us that what they do really means something.

Honestly, that's why the final battle really shut me up, because nothing makes you quite feel stakes and failure like having two PCs die, and having a resurrection ritual fail -- AND knowing that failure would be delivered on, had it not been for a seemingly miraculous roll of the dice to turn it around. One of the greatest failure's -- Molly's death -- made the success of his resurrection put a lot of my other issues to rest immediately, because to be honest? Molly's resurrection was the biggest success of the campaign, exactly because it was originally the biggest failure.

But this episode, we got to see the other side of making threats and successes feel disappointing -- when you get the impression that success was robbed from you. Again, their characters, their choices, but to have them roll an intervention to get Molly's soul, to convince Molly to come back with his own possessions they've so loved, after so long and so many struggles... only to apparently not get Molly at all?

Changed, of course. Memories, maybe he'd never get them back, though that seems inconsistent to how the initial resurrection was played and Matt's hints. It even makes sense that not having his memories and being a bit different, he might forge a new identity, but insisting Molly was a different person entirely after such a supposed hard won success to get Molly back, especially after what his death meant to the audience and potentially healing that old wound? It robs the narrative of a LOT of catharsis, at least for me and I know many others.

Trent, too, I'm very up and down on. He was so built up -- and what fun that build up had -- and I very much disagreed with the idea that the best story would be dealing with him offscreen.

It's true that you don’t need to explicitly address, confront, or explore every big aspect of character's story hooks and background ties for PCs to move past them and grow healthily. But that does not make it a satisfying viewing experience. People quietly healing in real life is healthy. People quietly healing in an explosive fantasy setting is frustrating for the audience.

What on earth is the point of a story if you don’t get to SEE THE ESTABLISHED CONFLICTS go anywhere? A lot of the characters got distant, quiet resolutions, if that, to everything we wanted to see.

Except, we did get to see Trent. It was a really fun, inventive battle, from opening to conclusion, but much like Travelercon, much like Nott's/Veth's problem with the hag, these were things that the audience in general wanted to see be really dug into and explored, and every single one of them got, in my opinion, quickly tidied up instead. Trent got beaten in the first and only proper battle they had with him, which, after all his build up, is pretty disappointing for a villain many of us wanted to see be a big deal. It really just felt like they were trying to tidy up to get on with the epilogue, which is not what a lot of us were looking for with Trent especially.

And that's how most of their endings felt to me. It didn't feel like any of them had reached a comfortable conclusion. Literally all of them, bar Veth and Caduceus, continued on their character journey threads, without each other and very quickly. Meeting Yasha's tribe and Vandran, Caleb finally openly debating changing time for his parents, Trent and Zeenoth's trials and the changing of the guard at the Assembly... All were things it would have been so fun to have all the PCs react to and explore together, and instead they were fleeting encounters in the latter half of a seven hour finale.

Is all this, from Molly not really coming back to Trent being a finale side plot to the Nein continuing on their individual journeys, potentially realistic to how these fantastical things might go down in real life? Sure! But that's not necessarily a good thing.

Stories THRIVE on conflict and resolution. That’s what makes them FUN! Conflict isn’t nearly so fun in real life and resolutions are often frustrating question marks, so no, past a certain point I don’t WANT stories to be realistic. I want stories to be SATISFYING.

And campaign 2 has fallen far short of the mark.

I haven’t spoken... Basically a word of this for most of the campaign, because as I said I’m a firm believer that you can’t necessarily judge something until it’s over, and because I ALSO firmly believe that being negative WHILE trying to enjoy something is counterproductive. I have had no interest in spoiling or naysaying the fun of the campaign for anyone, least of all myself.

But it's done now, and all I can say is... I really have had fun. I love the characters. I love their relationships. I’m pretty okay with where they’ve ended up. I’m not mad, really, and I’m still going to think of this campaign with a lot of affection. But it hasn’t been a satisfying story, even though for a week following episode 140 I thought, despite all the brushed over story threads, it might be.

So... to try and reclaim some of that satisfaction for myself, I might ignore some aspects of the finale proper. Namely Kingsley specifically. Taliesin's choice -- but to me, it's pretty clear that who we saw at the end of 140 was Molly, and the tags on my posts will reflect that, just as my 141 tags will be for both Kingsley and Molly, for clarity's sake. I personally want to believe Molly did come back, however others might want to interpret it. The victory in 140 that meant so much to me is hollow otherwise, and it just kind of hurts that we would lose Molly after everything. I was okay with him being dead -- I'm not so okay with his resurrection being stolen.

Kingsley will always be canon, but Molly is what I choose to acknowledge. I get if you don't like that take, and that's okay! I didn't care for canon's in the end. That's the good thing about storytelling, is that no one can stop you from making your own versions.

For the people who are hopefully hyped for campaign 3, heck yeah have fun! I’m on the fence. My investment, which... I think I can objectively say was pretty substantive as this blog will attest, doesn't feel rewarded, so I’m not convinced I can faithfully keep up for over three years all over again with a strong possibility that I will once again be left disappointed. It's been a huge chunk of my life, and... yeah!

I’ll take a break, probably, view (and liveblog, if people want!) campaign 1 when I’ve had a mental stretch and vacation, and then... I might start campaign 3. I definitely won’t be able to put the same time in it I did campaign 2 (my first love no matter what), knowing that it’s likely to not be so vindicated, in the end.

I swear I’m actually writing this in fairly good humour, but I totally get its always disappointing when the people you come to for fandom enjoyment just aren't sharing your fun. Honestly I’m half tempted to write all those frigging AUs I have sitting around! But I wanted to say my piece, and try and logically outline why this ending has been lacklustre for so many people, ultimately myself included.

Episode 140 felt right because it felt like a natural conclusion -- these disparate people coming together and finally being whole, finally soothing the hurt that MADE them so long ago. Episode 141 spat on that sentiment -- they all scattered to the winds, not as happy people to live out their dreams, but as confused people chasing up loose threads towards an unknown future, with the friend they thought returned still lost to them, ultimately.

It doesn't feel like the ending we should have gotten for the Mighty Nine, who were finally, finally all together. Until they weren't. So to me? I choose to acknowledge that they were, even if I have to force it to happen post-epilogue in my head.

#critical role #cr spoilers #c2e141 #c2e140 #ramblings #long post #first time i've used that tag but i figure people should be able to block this if they want to!#molly #kingsley #trent ikithon #the mighty nein

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sly-merlin · 4 years

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S A C R I F I C E

SACRIFICE - A STORY OF LOVE, BETRAYAL, REVENGE AND BARGAINING

CHARACTERS : prince jaehyun x princess y/n

GENRE : fluff, angst.

WORD COUNT : 7k

TIME PERIOD : OF SHY GLANCES AND BLOOD BATHS. WHERE LOVE IS FORBIDDEN AND HATRED NOT.

WARNINGS : Includes dirt play, revenge. Major character deaths like MAJOR, mentions of blood, murder, killing, assassination and an explicit scene of killing. Cw : food mentions SMUT WARNING : kissing! mentions of undressing.

DISCLAIMER : THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. FICTION. FICTION. NO DESCRIPTION REPRESENTS OR GIVE ANY HINTS TO JAEHYUN'S REAL LIFE CHARACTER.

a/n : part of heartbreakhotel monthly event by precious network @nct-writers

SUMMARY : heart in one hand, a blade in another. Which one goes down under the weight of other? Who is brave enough to sacrifice the other?

The shimmering, colourful, geometrical patterns of the bronze kaleidoscope motivated your heels to exultant jumps, simply sending tingles to your friend's mind who quietly stood beside you wondering what new pattern had caught your eye this time. She was equally excited yet waited for you to be absolutely gratified. After all, a pattern viewed once could never be seen twice or remembered long enough to be claimed to have hit our eyes.

The light hues of the unreachable sun coloured the small market in its natural glow making terrible winter evening walks a little more bearable .You loved it. You loved the scenery, all the more so because it was deemed to be yours. Every corner of this small kingdom had your father's crown engraved on it yet you weren't permitted to move around in a place you dared to call your own. Hence the poorly patched long cotton skirt and lazily stitched full sleeved shirt covered you like you were a fugitive in disguise or maybe belonged to some impoverished village. Same was the case with your pretty friend who, once averse to your youthful shenanigans, found the silver jewellery most fascinating in the whole market and not to omit the street food that turned the palace food to be flavourless.

You had never been very keen on lying to your parents, popularly called the rulers of the kingdom and your poor attendants who thought you were busy with your evening naps that you had suddenly taken upon a liking towards since the past month. But it was a necessity for you. Roaming in the same humongous rooms no more satiated your travelling mind. You wanted to be out, to be free, to just breach all the restrictions you were placed under as a princess to satisfy the hollow rules. As much as your morals and conscience despised hiding truth, this little game you played harmed no soul. Your safety was their priority and you were safe and secure as long as you didn’t leave her side. And this excuse inadvertently spiralled you in this endless circle of hide and seek taking control over your better judgement, throwing the need to pause this rendezvous in the background. What once done out of curiosity and to experience the fanatic lives of your subjects, was now a sine qua non. From patiently performing and learning new tasks suiting your position to skillfully diverting your maids, you indeed had all the prerequisites to be the best queen of your future kingdom. Even though the praise of achievement always resided only in your head, you found yourself to be impressively regal.

"Let me have a look too, y/n" zara, your dear friend pleaded not so politely.

Reluctantly removing the device from your eyes, you pushed it onto her hands, backing away slightly, allowing her in the space.

"Why don't you go and look at some silver jewellery instead?" Huffing, you suggested to lure her.

“The new ones arrive next monday!” Not paying heed to your tender, she kept smiling, enthralled by the beauty captured between the pieces of mirrors.

You nudged her playfully, the action meant to drive her to the end of her patience but she dogged your efforts with continuous giggles. Relentless you were too and she was always reminded of that in a hard way. What your elbow failed to do, your fingers completed. As soon as your fingers in her ears, she bitterly pulled herself away to face you.

“This is unfair y/n. This hour of freedom is not for your pleasure only” puckering her lips, she said while her eyes squinted at you.

Suddenly, her forehead was smeared with thoughtful lines, “y/n! It’s been twenty minutes already. Where is your lover?” surprise rained over her whole face, “Do you think he got caught?”

You were almost ready to refute her former statement that he certainly wasn’t your lover yet but her latter question of suspicion appalled you and there was no need for her to ask you any further as she noticed your face shrinking, distorting your pretty lips into a worrisome pout. She immediately left the metal device, focusing on you.

“hey! I am not serious. I was just trying to distract you” as she cupped your face, a pout of her own greeted you.

Her words were not reassuring at all. There was no unlikelihood of what she said. Jaehyun was, without any doubt, illustrious in the fouled game you both played but neither his family resided here nor was he allowed to enter the premises of your kingdom. The said man was corrupted by his youthful glow that granted him enough courage of frisking around the walls of the forbidden territory.

Inhaling sharply, you uncloaked your worry,

“do you think he real-

“no no absolutely not love. He’s too clever for that and he’s been doing since months, way longer than me and you! Let’s wait for a few more minutes.” Cupping your chin, she jested and cooed, “Also won't he perish without seeing your beautiful face. He would be here any minute!”

Just when you responded to her with a grim nod, a well acquainted shoulder bumped into you, mitigating your distress with a familiar touch. eyes closed in relief, you looked at zara for approval which was given right away with a playful wink.

Giggling like a little child, you skipped to the back of the market where jaehyun waited for you every evening. Hiding your face in the silk grey scarf, you sneaked away avoiding everyone’s sight and waiting for your arrival, Jaehyun stood there with the lower half of his face concealed with a black cotton headcover.

As soon as he saw you, the hand glueing the cloth to his face fell down and his face lit up with a smile worthy of putting stars to shame if compared. The wrinkles on his face and the dips in the cheeks had you wanting to hide in those spaces, away from everyone who had heralded this union to be forbidden.

There you stood, staring into his dark eyes like he wasn't someone you were supposed to keep a good distance from.

But the light in his eyes diminished on seeing your excited face.

"You did that again! Why don’t you follow anything I say to you? At least, look back and confirm my presence. What if someone had followed me?” deeply whispering, he frowned at you.

And fondly, you smiled at him, something that he never found fascinating but it still left him flustered.

"Don't smile at me like that. I won't melt this ti-

"I apologise?"

You blurted out taking him by surprise. His mouth opened and closed several times, body slightly rocking in confusion. Finally, he spoke,

"I didn't mean it like that." His voice softened, "i just can't -

Cleaning his muddy hands on his pajamas, he placed them on your cheeks, engulfing your whole face with his long fingers.

"I just can't see you in danger. If any of my uncle’s spies came wandering and recognised you at this hour, they'd not hesitate to slit your throat y/n" the way his face contorted as he recited the known truth, it was evident how just the mention of it was painful to him. "Don't follow unless you see my face. I know there's no one harming you in your own country but you never know when odds might defeat you"

"Do you-

You began but his questioning eyes stopped you. His eyes talked only in worry and love. Both for you. But even if you were content with what he showered you with, greed for little more was something you never deemed unnecessary.

"I what?"

You wanted to continue but the perpetual worry planted on his face disturbed you as well.

"Jaehyun-'' your fingers brushed away the strand of hair on his face, “I mean don’t you find it tedious? Giving me the same instructions every other day, wasting the ten minutes of the limited time we get.”

He left your face and focused on cleaning the remaining dirt from his hand. To avoid suspicions and blend into the environment, he always covered his hands in mud, giving an impression of a forlorn daily worker. Nobody questioned a person who looked homeless and unhappy, even if he meandered near the barbed wires.

“I got in trouble.”

You hadn’t even sat down on the bench and he was already bombarding you apprehensions.

“how?” inaudibly, you asked.

He broke his eyes away before responding,

“they saw me leaving the palace yesterday. From tomorrow, I shall be accompanying my cousin to verify the supplies in the production department.” his chuckle forced you to let out one as well. his irresponsible behaviour had fables of its own, as jaehyun had told you once. the little penalties he was subjected to weren’t discomforting either but this time it involved you as well.

“for how long?”

“my family’s care agenda would hopefully end within two weeks and then I shall be free again. but we might need a new place and new time too.”

His words were muffled in the back as your eyes remained transfixed on his hand sheepishly rubbing his neck. Under your inappropriate scrutiny, he found himself tinting and your strong gaze posed more problems for his already thumping heart.

He coughed you out of your daze, eyes wavering everywhere. Picking your lip, you suppressed your giggles.

Finger under your chin, you pretended contemplation. Your comical stance earned a groan from him,

“how about you get serious for once and I’ll buy you steamed food.”

Smiling widely, your greedy stomach took the offer immediately.

“not everyone lacks intelligence, prince jaehyun.”

He huffed and crossed his arms, feigning offence at your statement. “Now what are you implying princess y/n.”

“that I might already have a place decided. So hurry up now and feed me food while telling me about your day.”

“You are impressive, my lady! How am I going to live with your notorious self?”

“you plan on living with this notorious princess?” you clowned even though his question showed you more than just a hope.

“the inquiry hour is closed princess and so would be the shops if you choose to delay more. Soooo, shall we leave?”

Responding to your sharp gaze, he took your hand and pressed his plump lips onto them, disrupting the chain of your rational thoughts.

As the atmosphere tuned cooler and he bid adieu, you went back with a new assurance, ready to put your life on hold for the next few weeks.

lying on your back, you let out muffled giggles to celebrate another successful classified evening. clothes were changed, chess was out. You were prepared for any intrusion.

Zara's laughter soon died down, happy and heavy breaths replacing them. Seated on your bed, she faced you,

"So my courageous y/n, did you confess today?"

Abruptly you raised yourself, looking at her in bewilderment,

“Of course not!”

“What? Why not? What are you waiting for? Time is slipping away love.”

“I know. I just want to be a little more sure before taking this a step further. I do not want to misjudge his momentary affection for a promised future.The detestation our families share for each other has always proven to be deadly. Unless I’m sure that jaehyun’s feelings are indisputable, I shall not be proceeding." Mumbling out the last part, you began playing with the hem of your deep blue skirt to hide the disappointment that settled in within your heart.

"Okay. I can't force you but do know that saving your heart from misery is better. Oh and does the poor boy have any hint about me." Zara advised lacing her words with a chuckle in the end.

"Don't worry. You are just a maid friend whom I love and trust the most. He believes each of my pretty lies you know.”

"Oh my love. He truly fancies you. I wish your brother wasn't so incapable of harbouring feelings. How delightful life could have been only if he was like you." She wistfully spoke just like other times. Your heart hurt for her. She never got the love she was capable of giving yet the kindness never withered away. She was just like that.

Soon your peace was interrupted and you were escorted to the dinner table.

There sat your parents with their favourite child. You weren't loved any less yet it weakened your heart, watching them walking past your capabilities to applaud his undistinguished skills. His gender screamed for power when his capabilities barely had any knowledge of whispering about them. You abhorred it. Not your brother for he was raised with a rode in his neck but the stars that never aligned in your favour crushing your dream of wearing the crown for your own kingdom, under the grime rules made by those who were dead. Only god and zara knew how much hatred you held for your ruthless ancestors who never favoured women.

Sans any relish, you bit on the food which definitely tasted better for something you were not very fond of. but the almost good meal was ridden of all the salt as you felt conscious of their eyes on your face.

"Is there something you want to say to me?" you asked with a reluctantly polite voice.

That's when you noticed how their attention was divided to both you and zara. Your brother Donghae’s serious eyes bored into her face as she tried to avoid him while sitting right across him on the dining table.

Finally your mother spoke.

“Donghae was looking for you throughout the whole evening, zara.”

Zara lowered her head, look on her face screaming help which only you understood so you took the charge on her behalf,

“We were in my room.”

“And what is so important in your room that you both chose to ignore constant calls from your maids?”

“After an exhausting and unentertaining day, we both play chess, share all the amusing stories of our respective days, details of which can be given to you if asked with some enthusiasm and then we sleep for an hour, in peace without anyone spitting orders on our faces and since when have my brother changed so much that he actually got some time to look for his wife?”

“May I know from where this disrespectful flow of words is coming through? Is this a way to talk to your elders?”

“I mean no disrespect, mother.”

“This ends today. From tomorrow you shall be spending those two hours with our bakery chef.”

Instead of your mother, you directed your next plead to your father, who was an expert in nodding at household matters

“No! This is the only time I get with zara. within a year or two i’ll be married off to some rude man who won’t even let me put my feet outside the threshold of his palace.” pouting, you said.

Waving his hand, he dismissed the matter that meant whoever got the last sentence was the conqueror of the discussion.

"Why are you here?" Counting and aligning the stars to form another shape, he interestingly asked.

"I wanted to explore this dead garden. What about you? What brings you here in the enemy land?" You jested.

"to meet a very beautiful enemy."

"a woman?"

"Yes yes. She's a woman. A very pretty one I must say but very feisty and dangerous to be around."

"Oh how so?" You asked now genuinely interested in his description of yours.

"I've heard she has a heart of stone."

"Huh? Have you seen her heart to be so sure of your accusation?"

"I've enough instances to prove that."

"Like?"

"She meets a handsome prince, spends an hour staring at his eyes with all but love and still chooses to stay silent. It's a dangerous game she's playing with him. It almost - it hurts him."his fatalistic expression left you stunned. The ancillary confession beleaguered your heart instead of calming the storm.

Nibbling on your bottom lip, you tried your best to focus on the constellations instead. you pulled the poor blade of grass harder in a futile attempt of breaking it apart but it was snatched from you.

“answer me.” He demanded the answer that was resting on the tip of your tongue.

"I love you."

He blurted out and you felt his fingers finding home in yours as he interlocked them. the moisture of the grass swamped your hands and you finally found your warmth within each other.

“the whole palace is under your charm y/n” you stopped the stirring at zara’s words.

“how so?”

“they haven’t seen your wrath in the past few weeks. You didn’t shout at minji for throwing your burnt cake either.”

Swatting her hand away from the pot, you replied, “let them enjoy their peace days.”

“may god bless jaehyun! The whole palace is saved until you are happy.” Bumping her shoulders into yours, she took the charge from you. “what about the haunted garden y/n. aren’t you afraid of going there. it’s been weeks and I haven’t heard you screaming about any ghost.”

You scoffed at her naive self, “the only ghost that haunts the garden is in ME!” dragging the last part, you successfully scared her into dropping the ladle in the hot pot. Resultantly, she chases you off in the whole kitchen until you agree to turn the muddle of vegetables into something edible.

Jaehyun’s presence generated so much happiness within your soul that you were afraid one unfortunate day would snatch him from you yet you never fought against the urge to drown in the love he poured on you. He mirrored the boy you met in your books, just as dreamy, if not more. His princely chiselled face was a sight to die for. He was a typical example of a lotus, a beautiful flower born in mud where it lived and died and you wanted to change that for him.

“What do you fear the most?”

Nestling your face in his neck, you couldn’t help but ask the question. He snuggled you closer to him, the sheet beneath you crumpling making the leaves and the grass it covered rustling under you. He shifted his head only to face your hair. Removing his one hand from your waist, he moved your chin to inspect you. He never understood how you came up with most bizzare and inquiring questions. But he was always more than happy to speak or in this case, express.

“that I will forever remain indebted to you.”

grasping his hand that held your chin, you saw him gulp down the words he hesitated to utter.

"Love is not a debt jae. Just keep loving me like this, make me hap-

Abruptly your view of him changed as he floated over your figure. Resting your head on the sheet, his fingers traced the path along your face, feeling every inch of the skin he had learned to admire from afar. With adoration filled eyes, he drew nearer.

His lips were delicate against yours. Moving gently, he comforted your vulnerable ones, winning a pleased and dry whine from your throat. Hands dropping to your neck, his lips travelled down to your jaw where he sucked lightly at a candied spot and the little tickle kisses he gave you reaching your collarbones left you squealing in its wake. He hovered over your face again, this time to taste the bliss you felt and courageously, you pulled him closer and like it was designed, Mist of delight clouded your minds as you forgot your fingers in his nape. If finding stars in his eyes was your expression of love then dancing against your pulsating lips, he perfectly found his interpretation as well.

He drew back when he was done with bruising your skin. Staring into your eyes, he asked for something. With a blink of the same, you conveyed it.

Curving your back, you allowed him to unzip the lavender dress you were wearing. As he uncovered your skin, he greeted it with beautiful, praiseworthy kisses, covering you with his undying love.

That night he resuscitated you, sending you into an oblivion.

The reason being the incantations that he served you with.

I wish to give you a ring!

And the simple words resonated the promise that you could hardly wait for him to fulfill.

Sympathy combining some unknown feeling washed over you as you heard your father talking about the neighbouring kingdoms and the pitiful state they were in. you had always known about the lack of resources those people lived with but that was the end. It was just a topic of discussion and theory to learn about the blunders of their ancestors and the brutal history of their treason to an old ally, your father and grandfather.

With a contempt laced tongue, once again, your father recited the story of betrayal of the lees and the jungs. The story was religiously told to every child once they were old enough to understand the terms like loyalty, allegiance, infidelity and betrayal.

You had vowed to change that. a seed of hatred planted in a younger mind would only yield a crop of vengeance. you aspired to end it. Jaehyun, too, wanted to wash the stains of treachery from his family name.

To your dismay, the army was out to roam the small towns and villages, looking for trespasser enemies.

One day, you were resting in jaehyun's arms and the next day, you were left to sulk as the guards had suddenly decided to reaffirm the reliability of all the hinges. The doors were smacked, locked and unlocked, leaving you with million suspicions and a heavy heart.

The only assurance you had, was in Jaehyun's capability of fooling the security forces. Proud as you were, the unsettling feeling of a blurred future did not let you sleep. For three nights.

Jaehyun wrapped his arms around your waist, hugging you tightly from behind.

“easy jaehyun! it tickles!” you exclaimed while controlling your giggling.

“i thought you won’t be here tonight but yo-

“but i managed to sneak!” you finished, turning in his arms to see his beautiful face glistening in the moonlight. “and i don’t know for how much longer i can fool my attendants, what if one day they got in trouble for negligence. The security is doubled outside all the chambers. If I pulled anything, father would not hesitate to behead them.” your face dimmed with the mere thought of the fate of your precious maids and if anything happened to them, your soul would be forever encumbered with the guilt.

your worried eyes didn’t escape jaehyun as he leaned forward to give you a small kiss, soothing your nerves. the small peck left you wanting for more as you bit your lower lip in anticipation of his further actions.

“nothing would happen. it’s been 2 months and nobody in the whole kingdom knows where and with whom their gorgeous princess spends her nights! and besides i’m here to ease the worries of your forever wandering mind. "

"Why do you always have to talk in riddles jae!"

He laughed through your smacks before circling your figure twice, leaving you staggered and dumbfounded.

"What are yo-

"I'm serious. I’m just here to fulfil my promise love.” he caught and pulled you again, keeping just a little distance between you both

“what promise? i don’t remember anything!” you asked genuinely perplexed by his words. as far as your memory too you, the only promise he made was-

your eyes widened at the realisation! jaehyun removed his one hand from your waist, putting it inside the pocket of his pants.

at this point, you could hear your own thumping heart whilst looking at him expectantly.

“let’s relieve you of a huge burden my princess!” he said with a smiling face but as you tried to mirror his expression, a sharp pain coursed through your abdomen.

you wobbled as he left your waist, the pain doubling when he pulled the small knife out of your body, a smirk adorning his features instead.

your body felt hotter than ever as the blood slowly oozed out of your abdomen. no scream left your lips as you pressed the wounded area in a try to lessen the ache.

The solemn tears falling down the cheeks were not for the physical damage but for the broken promise Jaehyun had bestowed upon you with.

“wh-why?” was the only word you could form before your other hand went to grab his arm but was only met with air.

jaehyun loomed closer and his knife met your stomach once again, this time a grievous shriek filled the silent garden.

Your legs lost life, your body finding it harder to withstand the twist of the knife as you fell on the grass, darkness consuming your soul.

“because i couldn’t be on the throne as long as the heir of this kingdom was alive. but your death won’t be worthless love. I shall wear the crown of your sacrifice and reclaim all the lost honour.”

Instead of a deep breath as you had expected, a choked sob left your lips and the whole body convulsed with the painful effort.

Your eyes remained glued to him as he rubbed his face with this sleeve regarding you with the cruelty you never knew he was capable of.

contempt in his orbs served as his last offering towards you as he exited your sight, calling for someone.

After what felt like years, you heard a human voice again but your body gave up before you could comprehend anything.

“you did it my boy!”

Jinyoung broke his hateful glare from the throne and patted a demented jaehyun on the back, congratulating his prime pawn for the successful acquisition. The so called disqualified heirs were now the rulers, a dream that was once broken by their backstabbing friend, the now murdered king of this kingdom.

“and you shall be rewarded for you have made your deceased father proud.” Hand caressing Jaehyun's shoulder, he pretended to wipe the few tears that escaped due to the bitter memory. Cleaning his eyes with the sleeve of his dusted robe, he took the gold crown from his younger brother, jinseok and ran his eyes from jaehyun to the majestic chair on the silver podium.

With pride clotted blood, Jaehyun bowed to him before taking his seat.

The crown was set atop his head, fitting him without any doubt.

It weighed more than he thought.

With a sinister smile, his uncle ordered the assassination of all the loyal members of court.

Guards were beheaded and bodies were counted.

The palace was foraged, to find and kill all the runaways.

A manhunt was announced for the one who wasn’t found.

Nobody knew there were more to be found.

The triumphant smile lit Jaehyun's face for he lost nothing.

Three weeks later.

Donghae’s hands lost all the strength, the plastic bag filled with potatoes now rolling down the uneven and mud washed floor of the hut.

The day he had been anticipating with broken hope and glistening eyes was not a dream anymore.

Your fingers finally trembled against the hard, rugged and rough mattress.

You had decided to open your eyes after three weeks.

Finally he allowed himself to cry.

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me

Crown hanging between his fingers, his gaze pierced the ground.

You were lying there three weeks ago.

Were you taken away?

Were you no more?

There was no probability of inhaling after how perfectly he had spun his knife.

No man had ever survived his knife, not even his own teacher. There was no way you could have. All the odds were in his favour for all the cards being played with accuracy.

Did he hope for your life?

You were an enemy, just a play. Then why the thought of never beholding you again hurt him so much.

why the weight of the crown crumbled on him with such intensity.

Why did he choose your chamber to stay in?

Yet Why was he unable to sleep?

He grew up seeking answers and taking orders and this time there was no one to respond to his cries.

Neither did anyone care enough to ask him the reason for his quotidian visits to the garden.

I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug

It wasn’t home. But the eyes looking back at you undeniably reminded you of it. A day has passed since you saw the light of the world again but all you did was listen to the gut-wrenching fate your family had met with. Half of the family!

Your parents were murdered in the coup premeditated by none other than the neighbouring jungs. What was equally agonising was the fact that your brother never got to give your parents a respectable farewell. The troops had charged upon their sleepy selves and the mere hanging crown on the naked and bloodied sword of jin young was enough of a proof of the successful attack. Their escape hadn't been easy either but with a little help from the general, they had managed to flee. Zara had led them to you.

Unknown fear consumed you as you read your surroundings. But it was time you admitted to your mistakes and faced the consequences. If there were any brutal ones left. There was nothing you would be unable to endure. So you began with the unanswered questions.

“what is this place?” you asked with a sore throat.

“this is jung’s territory. They are too blinded by their victory that this barren land is the last place they would send their troops to.” donghae replied, feeding you spoonfuls of the soup.

“But how did we reach here?"

"Through the underground war doors. They once joined both of our territories before the jungs were disqualified from trading. This end was opened by our general when we lost too much blood. Their bloody nephew is sitting on the throne, uniting this useless kingdome with ours." He seethed.

You bit your lip to compose yourself. you knew you had to tell them about jaehyun and a broken trust was the last thing you wanted to inject in him but necessity clawed on your heart to reveal everything.

Caressing your face, he acidly began,

"We'll take back everything. No one shall be spared. We are contacting our alliances. By next month, our kingdom would be in the state of siege. Every drop of blood shall be avenged. Jaehyun would pay for what he did."

At his mention, you withdrew your sight from him. Guilt crept up within you as you tried to affiliate every past event with the current one. It was clear as day you were a mere instrument to find a place for the entry of their troops. You were just a puppet. Unknowingly, you had allowed them to enter your parent's bedroom too. You had blood on your hands. Of countless people.

A single tear slipped and the lack of his expression on your face scared zara. She ran to occupy the other side of the bed and caught your head before you broke down in her arms. Jaehyun's lies and betrayal of your love was left somewhere in an old rusted chest of your mind and the pure anguish shattered you into millions of pieces.

You wailed yourself to sleep.

Jaehyun visited you that night. In the form of dust. And he continued breaching your peace as if killing you once wasn't enough.

Now the day bleeds, into nightfall and you are not here, to get me through it all.

Jaehyun woke up in cold sweat. When was the last time he slept with an easy mind?

Maybe the week before he was ordered to finish off what he had started.

He changed rooms.

He changed floors.

But his eyes never closed for even the minor chances of meeting you in the dreamland scared him to death.

With a trembling hand, he picked up the crown and threw it away.

Amusingly, you were still dead.

Were you really that foolish?

Perhaps you resembled every other weak hearted person for whom a pinch of affection was a desperate call to sell their soul and rationality.

You had just wanted to walk down the markets without any constraints pulling you back in. Skipping in the shadows while hiding from the sun was the only desire you had.

Why had he bumped his shoulder into yours? Why had he repeated it again and again until had grown to recognise his touch even through the thick layers of clothing and masked faces?

It's amusing how we end up finding each other in the same place at same time everyday

He had said with a sugary tone when you had questioned him sternly.

You had believed him.

I'm prince Jaehyun, from the other side. I just came here to see the beauty that our place doesn't possess. It's all barren and discarded. No healthy vegetables. No dry fruits. I just enjoy myself every evening and buy some good food for some poor kids. You won't mention this to anyone right? I’ll leave right away if you want though!

How righteous had he sounded!

We'll propose unification and then everything will come to life again. No bloodshed. No backstabbing. No spy plays. We’ll never let history blemish our future.

How had he managed to contradict each and every word he had spoken.

he just changed like the patterns in the kaleidoscope as if you had never reflected in the mirrors of his heart.

Perhaps you never did.

You despised his way of fulfilling his Imperishable love for you!

You were relieved Zara had been the one to inform your brother of this leading cause.

How ruthless he could have been!

You wanted to give his whole kingdom a new life and all he could give you in return was a knife.

I was getting kinda used to being the someone you loved

Jaehyun's fingers turned green for how harshly he picked at the grass. Picking at those innocent blades didn't bring you back.

His cries thundered in the air. He begged for the time to turn itself. He yearned for the love you had shown him. He missed your warmth. He missed your careless laughs. His heart shrieked for you. The only person he had ever loved. The only being who had ever loved him.

Why he couldn't have saved himself from being the traitor of the heart he could've ruled!

You stared at the heavy corset that was made to safeguard you.

You were no expert with a blade but still one was handed over to you as precaution.

The general read you the instructions, mainly focusing on the need to remain hidden underground until the war was over. You and Zara were to be kept away from the weapons.

That was what the commandments directed you to follow.

Today, the wind blew harsher. Maybe he was the only one to feel the strange stillness in the disorder. Everything had been imprudently loud for him lately. Even the riots that shook the doors of the palace. How long could they have held onto something that never belonged to them!

As he dismissed the servant who called him to take charge against your brother, his mind pressed upon bolting all the heavy doors to ignore the murderous stream. He had led one army before but now lacked the courage to pick up his knife and sword, the ones he buried right in the garden where you once laid.

You.

The broken look on your face was the image he wanted to delete from the depths of his mind so desperately yet your presence never left him alone. Maybe it was the sanction of the heavens that you were always there with him. In his days and in his dreams. He got all of your portraits removed yet here you were, standing in front of him with a smile on your face. A quiet rare sight. The radiant face, if not impossible to find, was still very infrequent even in his dreams. The air smelled of you. The atmosphere was enticing. Suddenly, he wanted to chase his dream, to go after you.

So he followed his heart.

Your illusion stayed still, with curved lips making you look ethereal. Even in the darkness, your face illuminated the way for him.

His hand rose, hoping to touch you even though the rational part of his head screamed that it was a lie created by him to save himself from another night of misery but he failed to listen and caved in. Like each time, he expected his hand to pass through you, breaking the charm of his fabrication of you.

But here he was.

Instead of passing through the smoke that you were supposed to be, his hand rested upon the gentle skin that your face had. Retracting his fingers immediately, he fell back in fear, eyes widening and chest heaving.

You were anything but an illusion.

His hand grazed against your cheek before he fell down, stumbling upon his own feet. The crown that decorated his head too withdrew its support, lying on the floor like it had recognised its lawful owner.

"My king." Solemnly, you addressed him. "I hope you are enjoying your new home and title."

As you talked, you watched him collecting himself. As he unclogged the blocks of his mind, awe transformed his face momentarily shaping itself into trepidation. To your disbelief, he brightened up once again. Had he not been liable for the ghastly crimes, you’d have sympathised with the deranged state of the always self possessed jaehyun. Alas! You had nothing to offer him.

Shuffling on his knees, with his head bowed lowly, he spoke with dead voice,

"Forgive me, please." He cried into his joined hands.

"Get up jaehyun. A mighty and worthy king like you doesn't look very honourable bowing to a mere woman like me." Your dangerously honeyed voice resembled the ominous dark clouds brooding atop his head.

But you admired his valor for he kept apologising, burning himself with the false hope of undoing the indelible smudge he had left on you.

"I thought i never loved you y/n but i was utterly wron-

"You are a deceiver King jaehyun. Do not expect me to believe you."

"Don't call me that please!"

"Get up jaehyun." you barked.

"I hate myself for doing that to you y/n." Getting up slowly, he repeated twice. You were yet to see his face and when he rose to his full height, you were met with his bloodshot eyes that could've ached you if your heart hadn't been damaged to the core.

"Don't hate yourself please. You made your family proud. That is what we kids should be aiming for right. I truly admire you for that King jaehyun." The emotionless stress on the end made him close his eyes in pain as he choked out another heart wrenching sob.

"I'm truly sorry y/n, please. I can't take your hatred. I don't want this crown nor do i want to live here anymore."

Your stomach churned at his cries. You had truly underestimated his capability to surprise you but it only made you grip harder on the knife that was tucked in your waistband.

“How naive of you to think that I'll fall for your lies again, jaehyun.”

Rubbing his face with his palms, he looked heavenward,

"No no. I love you. I really really love you.I never realised this until now. I just can’t live without you” and continued as his glistened eyes met yours, “Why are you not listening to me?"

"Don't you think you are a bit late for a true confession."

"Yours was true right. Your love was conditionless. I swear on your love! Forgive me once please. Love is the strongest, you told me this right. I just need you y/n. not this crown. Not anyone else. Just you, Please."

A mean scoff left your lips, "Yes, i was the one who told you about love being the most powerful but that was until you taught me the strength of hatred, jaehyun. You knifed me out of the fairytales i dreamt with you and i don't think i can ever thank you enough for that. The love you are so profoundly swearing to is lying under the debris of the hollow pride and the abhorrence you sheltered for my family. You never once heard my pleas of affection and now you expect me to listen to yours?how can you stoop so low?"

You watched him screaming into the air and crumbling down. You saw him going through the pain you would never recover from yourself and you wanted to end it. For him. It was rather painful to watch him so you mumbled his name.

With newfound belief, he loomed closer with open arms, anticipating a change of heart from you. Maybe you weren't really as unconcerned to him as he had been with you.

but the long blade mutilated his lungs and silent gasps of pain escaped his throat. His miserable eyes ruined the shield you wore and you screamed at him while repeating the thrusts of the sharp blade. Droplets of vengeance imbued the chilled air, drizzling down your neck in the form of sweat.

Somehow the hall was lit and you were forced to see what you had done to him. His grip on the ground faltered and the blade slipped through your fingers, the clink dangerously reverberating in the hall.

Before your hand could reach for him, something pointed grazed your shoulder. You wanted to turn around but more and more spikes pierced through you; the heaviness and the pain that seeped through your back launched you forward and you fell down on another body that had been hosted by the marble a few moments ago. The ache of the arrows left you breathless. Once again, you struggled with your eyelids. within a few seconds, relief padded your back and you discontinued your wrestling.

and perhaps your dead heart was finally at peace.

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jenniferstolzer · 4 years

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Babylon 5 Rewatch Season 2 episode 21: Comes the Inquisitor

The Vorlons send an inquisitor to investigate Delenn. Meanwhile, G’Kar must do his own investigation in order to restore the faith and morale of the defeated Narns on Babylon 5

Things I liked about Inquisitor:

I’ll state right up front that this is not my favorite episode, but I am definitely a fan of G’Kar’s storyline. He was told not to speak in the council so he’s taken to the streets becoming a curbside prophet even before he acquires the title. I love his vigor and refusal to give up. Throughout this episode he wheels and deals pulling every string he has. He buys weapons on the black market, he plies Sheridan for favors, he makes promises he doesn’t know if he can keep and the whole time he’s fighting like a cornered dog. Vicious boy. Very very good.

Same storyline, this episode has his “Dead, Dead, Dead” speech to Vir which is such an important moment for both characters. 1, it sets a firm boundary in G’Kar that he is not willing or able to forgive a Centauri, something that comes back into play in Season 5 in the just best most heartbreaking way. 2, it shows Vir that good intentions and apologies aren’t enough in the face of such a blow. Vir apologizes for what’s happened and tries to excuse himself from the events and G’Kar is like “Nope, no reassurance for you, today” This moment isn’t worthless, though. The fact that Vir didn’t ignore G’Kar in the lift, that he was brave enough to say something and acknowlege that this people had done wrong is the birth of Abrahamo Lincolni

Garibaldi working within the boundaries of his job to help G’Kar is also great.The moment feeds Garibaldi’s storyline by emphasizing his suspicious nature. Like Morden before him, Garibaldi gave G’Kar a test. Tell the truth or get your wrist slapped. The fact is that Garibaldi doesn’t fully trust anybody. You can see why the events later in his story happen... I wonder if in another life he’d be asking “What do you want?”

Unless I misheard, one of the Narns on homeworld say “Thank G’Kar!” the same way G’Kar says “Thank G’Quan.” The first instance of G’Kar being venerated as a prophet maybe?

Sebastian was snatched off planet earth by the Vorlons back in Earth’s History which proves that theyv’e visited us before, they’ve messed with our history before, and they have very odd taste in servants for creatures that are supposed to be pinnacles of good. Its an interesting thought experiment I guess. You’ll read more below about why I’m not sure it /quite/ worked? But the message that Earth was not immune from past meddling and the Vorlons are secretly kinda bad maybe is firmly stated in this episode.

Things I liked less

Sebastian always struck me as a weird choice of storyline. I get the idea -- the Vorlons are not the beacons of good we’ve been led to believe, watch them torture their most loyal soldier to test her loyalty. I get that idea, but I never thought it really worked. First of all, Sebastian is Jack the Ripper. That’s a weird choice. Giving Jack the Ripper a redemption arc is a weird choice. It’s a weird choice for //delenn//. if we were looking for someone from history to torment Delenn i guarantee the vorlons could have found someone from Minbari history whose cruelty would strike fear in her, or whose piety would test her, or whose disapproval would tempt her heart. Not only does she not know who Sebastian is, he’s going by a name he’s not even famous for. So who he is doesn’t matter except to us, the audience, and in that way this episode felt kind of pandering to the audience. Shocking the 20th century butts on the other side of the fourth wall with a “that’s neat” reveal at the end. That woudl have played better around Episode 2.10... but after the stakes established in the last episode, hopping out of the timeline only makes the inquisitor feel less important than the G’Kar stuff.

Also, and this is a personal take, the torture itself felt self-gratifying to me? I have a hard time watching the Sheridan torture episode, too. Misery for misery’s sake doesn’t move me the way the scripts want it to, especially when it’s done just for the sake of showing torture on screen. The Vorlons could have gotten the answer they wanted out of her with telepathy something if the goal was to see her true thoughts, then they erase her memory of the event to boot! So if it was a punishment for pledging the Rangers to Sheridan’s service, she didn’t learn anything about that. She hasn’t learned what might happen to her if she goes off-script. She doesn’t have the emotional investment of having endured a trial and come out victorious... they just electrocuted her until she wept because they could and they wanted to. And what did they learn? That she’s sacrifice herself for her loved ones. I mean, we knew that already didn’t we? Sebastian peeled off her rind to expose her heart, but the circumstances that got her there were erased from her head. Even if we didn’t know Delenn’s capacity for self-sacrifice, what if she decided after enduring torture that she’d rather die than see Sheridan dead and the day before when she hadn’t experienced torture she would have let him die? She went on an emotional journey then got rewound!

In the end, Sebastian quotes Jesus and says “you guys are finally the right people in the right place at the right time” Yeah okay, asshole. I guess that was the goal? To see if they were the right people at the right place? I hate to break it to the Vorlons but they gotta work with what they have at this point the Shadow war is starting RIGHT NOW. They wanted to make sure Delenn was the right person? You’ve been GROOMING her for THIS VERY REASON for DECADES. The right place? You facilitated the BUILDING OF BABYLON 5 AS A BASTION OF WAR. What. Are. You. Doing?????

All this said, the torture scenes do show us, the audience, more about our characters. Lennier shows up, offers to help, then runs and gets Sheridan. Sheridan is the linchpin that makes Delenn finally say “I’ll die for others” when I assume she thought that was an unspoken truth to this point. We and the Vorlons both get proof she’s a selfless saint ready to die for our sins. We see that the Vorlons are cruel and unusual and maybe there’s no pure good in the galaxy. And also G’Kar is trying his very best to fight a war with real stakes and I’d rather be watching that. Theoretical reasons for the torture aren’t lost on me, I just feel like it could have been done better with a more in-universe situation and that the reveal that Sebastian is Jack the Ripper didn’t pay off for this one viewer like I know it does with others.

The next ep ends the season! Let’s go!

#babylon 5 #babylon 5 rewatch #art #jenstoart #john sheridan #delenn #episode 21 #season 2

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dontasktheradiodemon · 3 years

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Cuddly Date Time

Alastor & Telly @usedhearts have a date night and completely ignore their movie and snacks because Alastor found a list of questions for partners to ask each other.

And so they ask each other a million questions.

It's very nice.

Telly

Date night! Telly had the Eggs set up the projector on the bridge, and pull in one of the chaise lounges. He had a bowl of popcorn, and mixings for drinks.

And he wore just a t-shirt. He was a comfy snake tonight.

Alastor

Date night! Never content with one snack where multiple would do, Alastor had spent the last couple of hours in the kitchen, putting together bacon-wrapped pineapple, stuffed mushroom caps, and a couple dozen crostini each topped with a random assortment of whatever looked fun in the fridge. He'd discovered he liked hand-feeding his partner, and by god was he *gonna.*

The longer he lived with Telly, the more obvious it was that he needed to get himself more casual clothes; but for now, he'd make do with a t-shirt (stolen from Telly's stock) and his bath robe to get comfortable. He swooped in with a tray of snacks, summoned up a side table to set it on, and slid his arms around Telly as he sat. "Why, hello there~"

Telly

Telly smiled, leaning into Alastor's side.

"Hello to you, too. Fancy seeing you here." He laughed and kissed Alastor.

"Are we ready to go?" He lifted the remote, to point backwards at the projector.

Alastor

He returned the kiss and settled into Telly's side. "Ready when you are!"

Telly

"Here we go!" He clicked the remote and the lights dimmed and the movie started. That done, he wrapped his arm around Alastor, turning to kiss his cheek.

"So, what culinary delights did you make for me to try this time?"

Alastor

Alastor hummed along to the opening notes of Music Man, then glanced over to his tray of food. "Mushrooms, bacon-wrapped pineapple—I thought you'd like a little tropical fruit—" smooch, "—and a veritable rainbow of crostini treats!" He'd sort of tried to stick them in rainbow order. He doesn't quite remember rainbow order. "We had some odds and ends of jams and cheeses and pickled things, so I got creative."

Telly

"Oh, sounds tasty! I will leave it up to the discretion of the chef which I try first." He smirked and winked.

His eyes flicked back to the screen for a moment, and he hummed.

Alastor

"Well, in that case..." He'd gotten the pineapple specifically for Telly, so he plucked that up to offer first.

Telly

Telly opened his mouth to accept the pineapple. He hummed as he chewed, and nodded. "Oh, that is delicious!"

Alastor

"Good!" Alastor was constantly amazed at how gratifying the little things were these days. Things like Telly's little hum.

He picked up a mushroom cap to offer next. "I'd forgotten how much I enjoy the first song! With all the train sounds." That said, he's already only paying about 40% attention to the movie. The movie is mainly an excuse to cuddle.

Telly

"Oh yes, it's quite ingenious!" Telly turned his head to glance at the screen before focusing back on Alastor. He took the next bite and his face scrunched a moment, before smoothing to contentment.

"Mm, interesting!"

Alastor

Huff! "Is that interesting good or interesting bad? I can take them if you don't like them."

Telly

"Interesting good! It just wasn't the flavor I was expecting them to be." He grinned and picked one up to offer Alastor. "But I _will_ share."

Alastor

"Why, *thank* you! Don't mind if I do." He took the bite then kissed Telly's thumb before he sat back to chew.

Telly

Telly followed as he sat back, pecking his cheek. "You looked so _indignant_ just then, it was adorable."

Alastor

"I did not," he said good-naturedly. "I happen to know for a fact I was smiling the whole time."

Telly

"Yes, you were! But I've started to identify your different smiles. That one was definitely indignant." He nodded for emphasis, even as he fought to keep his face in a mock serious mask.

Alastor

"Really!" He laughed, grinning wider. "Well, what's this one, then?"

Telly

"That's your 'I'm amused at my partner-in-crime's antics' smile." He giggled.

Alastor

"Close! But you missed the utter adoration."

Telly

"Oh yes, how could I miss that!" He laughed and leaned to kiss Alastor.

Alastor

He returned the kiss, then leaned in to nuzzle Telly's neck. "Say. It occurs to me that I'm not paying terribly close attention to the movie, and I can't help but notice you aren't either. If you don't mind paying a little less attention, I picked up a game that might be fun to play?"

Telly

"A game?" Telly tilted his head, smiling at the nuzzling. Sometimes it still sent a thrill down his spin that Alastor was here with him, like this, and he felt it now.

"What sort of game?"

Alastor

"Well, considering the topic we were just on..." He pulled out his phone with a flourish. (It was hard to flourish with a cell phone, but he was determined to make it work.) "Questions to get to know each other better! I don't think there are any about smiles, but it's a fine list nonetheless. Personally, I always love a good interview—and I know I still don't know half as much about you as I'd like to."

Telly

Telly blinked. "Oh! Well alright, that sounds fun."

He grinned and kissed Alastor again. "Alright, go for it. First question."

Alastor

"Okay! This list here has about two hundred questions and I narrowed them down to only the ones I want to know the most about you—so, naturally, I have over a hundred." He laughed and scrolled through the list. "Let's see, let's start with an easy one—Do you prefer living in the countryside, in a town, or in a big city, and why? I know you've moved around some, and it's hard to tell how an airship counts."

Telly

"Hmm," Telly said, stroking his chin as he pondered.

"I do enjoy city life, with all the people-- we as long as I can separate myself from the majority of them. But I adored my time in Dover when I was alive. The crashing of the sea as I worked was a great focus."

Alastor

"So away from all the city noise, down by the seashore?" He considered that. "We'd have to move a few rings to find a proper shore—how do you feel about prerecorded ocean sounds? I think I can swing that much!"

Telly

"I do like those, it's always fascinated me how they could replicate things like that."

Alastor

"So do I! Sound effects in general are an under-appreciated art! I've got a wide variety of things I listen to to fall asleep, and background sounds like that are high in the list!" His smile turned sheepish. "Or—used to be, anyway. Nowadays I usually listen to you instead."

Telly

Telly blinked. "Listen to me? My heartbeat?" He tilted his head.

Alastor

"And your breathing." He is, in fact, still capable of being a little self-conscious about his moments of sappiness.

Telly

Telly glanced away and for the million and first time he was glad he no longer blushed. "That is....very sweet and romantic, love."

Alastor

"Oh, is it!" He looked a *little* less sheepish. "Here I was worried it might be a bit too much."

Telly

"No, darling, the fact that you fall asleep to the sound of my heart and breathing is definitely not 'too much'." He smiled and leaned over to kiss him.

"Well, next question, yes?"

Alastor

"Well, when you put it *that* way, it sounds charming." He returned the kiss. "Next question!" He handed the phone over to Telly. "Your turn to pick one. Interview the hell outta me. I'm ready for my closeup."

Telly

Telly took the phone and inspected the list of questions, humming softly.

"Hmm, let's see..." He scrolled down. "How about this one. 'What is the most thrilling-slash- adrenaline seeking thing you would consider doing?'"

Alastor

"Oh! Well? Hm." A pause. "Is that counting things I've already done, or only things I haven't tried yet?"

Telly

"I think only things you haven't tried yet." Telly read over the question again. "Yes."

Alastor

"Oh, well then!" He tipped his head back while he thought. "You know, I've always thought skydiving sounded fun! But it's hard to find an instructor and pilot that I didn't think would get me splatted on the sidewalk because they were too terrified of me to do their jobs right." His eyes lit up. "Say, this thing doesn't get high enough for skydiving, does it?"

Telly

"I don't think so." He laughed, shaking his head. "But if you ever want me to toss you out to give you a briefer experience, let me know."

He paused, humming again. "Now I'm curious, though, what was the most thrilling thing you already did?"

Alastor

"I'll keep it in mind!"

He winced. "Oh, I talked myself into that one. And here I didn't even get to the question about relationship dealbreakers first. But, uh... hunting people for sport?" He laughed self-consciously. "I kept meaning to bring it up, but there's really no easy way to work that into a conversation."

Telly

"You did mention something about being out there to kill when you died. So, you hunted people?" Telly's tone stayed completely casual-- this was Hell and he'd been here a while, one got used to most things.

Alastor

He hadn't *thought* it was going to be a problem, considering what Telly was up to when he died, and considering everything Alastor got up to that Telly already knew about—but you never really knew how someone was going to react. And if Alastor knew anything about mass murderers, it was that depending on their motives or methods, they couldn't even get respect from other mass murderers. "People and deer, usually. But by the end, the deer were mainly a consolation prize and an excuse to get close to the real prey."

Telly

"I see." He stroked his chin. "How many do you think you killed? Did any get away that you know of?"

Alastor

"Oh, only two or three dozen tops," he said modestly. "I'd have to ask how many the infernal treasury credited me with, but even that number wouldn't be quite all of them. There's a few I shot and left that I never saw show up in the papers, so they might have got away, but none I know for sure. "

Telly

"Hm! Well, no wonder you wanted a hunter rifle for your present." He grinned and laughed. "Alright, next question for me."

Alastor

"That's it?" He raised his eyebrows, surprised. "You know, I always kind of thought that one would generate more discussion. Huh." He turned back to the list of questions to scroll through—and picked up another snack to feed Telly while he looked for a question. "Here's an intriguing one—what are you deliberately ignoring, even though you know you should deal with it?"

Telly

Telly took the offered snack with his mouth. He hummed, thinking as he chewed.

"I don't think that I'm deliberately ignoring anything right now?" He squinted, and his head tilted. "So, only unknowingly ignoring, then." He chuckled.

Alastor

"Well, tell me something you're unknowingly ignoring!" He said, like a little shit.

Telly

"Obviously, I don't know what those are, Alastor." He rolled his eyes.

Alastor

"No? You're positive?" He grinned impishly. "Well, all right! No skeletons in your closet, I suppose!" He passed the phone back. "But next time I'll get something interesting out of you."

Telly

"Yes, yes, next time." He took the phone back and scrolled through again. "Hmm, how about this: What calms you down the most?"

Alastor

"Oh." A long pause. And then a tiny wince and a mumble, "Do you know what ASMR is?" It's worth noting that he's more self-conscious over this than the serial killing.

Telly

"Vaguely. But tell me more about it." He leaned in, grinning malevolently.

Alastor

Ahem. "*Well.* When I was alive, and we were all still trying to figure out what to *put* on the radio, some of the earliest programs were, just... musical programs with sort of a vague plot narrated between them. And when I say 'vague,' I mean 'today John Doe is driving into town, let's play a bunch of songs about farms and meadows and bridges because that's what he's driving past.' And I appreciated those plotless little shows. But they weren't too popular—people wanted more stories in their stories, so they went away." He was going somewhere with this, really. "And then a little after I died, shows really started pushing the envelope with what they could do with the *sound* on radio, you know, with sound effects and the like, getting really experimental with it. And I tell you, I ate that up! I probably spent most of the forties with headphones practically glued to my head—and this was before they started offering the high-quality headphones for sinners that don't have their ears on the sides of their heads! And uh, that—that's more or less what ASMR is. Like those early shows with nearly-plotless plots, with the music taken out and copious sound effects to support the plot instead. That's... that covers most of the appeal." He did NOT make eye contact and he WAS embarrassed.

Telly

Telly blinked. Well. He hadn't realized that was such an in depth topic. He sat quiet as he processed a moment and then nodded.

"So you like it because it feels familiar?"

Alastor

"Not exactly, no—more because it... has those things I already liked." Mumble, "And it makes my ears tingle." Mumble mumble, "And sometimes it's nice to pretend I can get a haircut from somebody who isn't afraid to look me in the eyes."

Telly

Telly smirked, leaning against him. "Well, sometime you'll have to show me one."

Alastor

"Really?" His brow wrinkled. "Well—alright. But fair warning, I've probably oversold how interesting it is. I mean—the people who are interested in it find it interesting, but..."

Telly

"I at least would want to hear it once, just because you like it so much." He kissed Alastor's cheek.

Alastor

"Oh... sure, then. I'll see what I can find for you." He returned the smooch. "I'll try to avoid the more esoteric ones."

Telly

"Yes please, darling." He purred. "Next question?"

Alastor

"You know... I think I want to ask you one that you asked me." He grinned. "What's the most thrill-seeking thing *you'd* do?"

Telly

"Thrill-seeking...." He pondered that for a moment, finger tapping his chin again.

"Probably seems typical for me, but I think it would be a great thrill to finally attack Vox."

Alastor

"Hah! Put *that* one at the top of the list! Oh, I hope that by the time we go for him, he's so outmatched that he's *boring*."

Telly

"Yes, we can hope!" He laughed, grinning wider.

Alastor

He tugged Telly in to plant a firm kiss on his cheek. "I just love when we're on the same page."

Telly

Telly purred, turning to kiss Alastor's lips. "I love _you_," he muttered, wrapping his arms around him.

Alastor

"I love you, too." It's something he still has to practice saying without his breath shuddering; sometimes there's still a little static hitch. But it's coming more easily.

Telly

There was still a thrill that went through him, hearing Alastor say it back-- a thrill that made him beam and kiss him all the more. He sighed happily against his lips, cuddling close.

Alastor

He slid an arm around Telly's waist, holding him closer, humming along to the love song in the movie as he kissed Telly.

Telly

Telly let the kiss keep going for a while, before pulling back, a grin on his face. "I also love kissing you."

Alastor

"I think I've developed a taste for it myself." Understatement.

Telly

He laughed. "Yes, it seems you have." He leaned in for another kiss.

Alastor

He wasn't about to get any complaints from Alastor. Just a hungry return kiss.

Telly

Telly pushed closer, arms and tail coiling tightly around him. He pulled back after a time, and giggled.

"Oh, look at us, making out during a picture show like teenagers!"

Alastor

"Ha! I never made out at the picture shows as a teenager!" He paused thoughtfully, then added, "And as a teenager *you* never went to a picture show. But what's time to the dead?" He laughed. "I wouldn't have enjoyed it then, anyway."

Telly

"We simply must get the teenage experiences we never had! Even if they are ones that we wouldn't have had otherwise!" He laughed, kissing over Alastor's face.

Alastor

He laughed as he was smothered in kisses. "I didn't *want* that teenage experience! Do you know, *do you know* how *hard* it is to ask a gal you're friends with if she'd like to see a show with you, and then actually *see the show*? There I am, early twenties, with some dame desperate to introduce me to her lips, trying to watch Mister Buster Keaton, and—and..." His laughter momentarily overtook his ability to speak. "I should've taken a cobra to the movies. Do you think they'd have let me? Just escorted one on a day trip from the Bronx Zoo?"

Telly

"No, I don't think so. A python, maybe." He grinned and laughed, nuzzling close to Alastor. "But just think, you can take _this_ cobra to a picture show!"

Alastor

"I certainly can! And you're a better conversational partner!" He pulled Telly deeper into the nuzzle. "I can't think of anyone else I'd rather ignore a movie with."

Telly

Telly grinned wider, chuckling against Alastor's neck. "Mm, I think we lost track of the questions sometime around the second kiss, but I certainly don't mind, do you?"

Alastor

"No, not terribly." He kissed Telly near start of his hood. "Although I'd like to loop back around to that sooner or later. There's *so much* I want to ask you, and I feel like we never get to talk enough."

Telly

"Hmm," Telly hummed, sitting up, but taking Alastor with him. He situated him on his lap and grinned. "How about one asks a question and the other has to answer whilst being kissed?"

Alastor

"Ooh. You know, that *does* have its appeal." He straddled Telly's tail, looped his arms over Telly's shoulders, and pressed their foreheads together. "*However...* not to be the cliché libidoless talk show host we all know I am, but—I really do want to *talk* with you. Without the conversation playing second-string to a distraction." He offered a crooked, uncertain smile. "If that doesn't sound too boring for you? I don't want to hold you hostage in a conversation you've lost interest in, mind."

He was still hesitant, still self-conscious whenever what Telly was looking for physically was less than what Alastor was currently looking for. It was easy enough to say "no" when he was flat-out uncomfortable with an activity; he could even let himself think that he was giving Telly an opportunity to be gallant by graciously reigning in his own desires for Alastor's comfort. He felt less sure of saying "no" when he was simply not terribly excited by the idea at the moment. He felt like he was the one giving up the opportunity to be gallant. It was a new quandary for him, and he didn't enjoy his own uncertainty.

But thus far honesty had never steered him wrong with Telly, so he'd tell the truth first and figure out the rest later.

Telly

Telly purred as their foreheads pressed together, and then gave Alastor a squeeze. "Of course. We can just talk. As long as you don't mind if I simply _must_ occasionally interrupt you because the urge to give you a kiss is _unbearable_."

He leaned back to dramatically press the back of his hand to his forehead, before cracking open an eye and grinning. He readjusted himself to be snuggled back in close.

"I forget whose turn it is, so why don't you start us off again."

Alastor

Alastor's grin widened again, as much with relief as amusement. "Far be it from I to deny you if you're in such desperate need! Why, I might need one or two myself." And just to prove it, he planted a quick peck on Telly's forehead. "*I* kept track. We got off-topic because you said you wanted to take down ol' blockhead and I thought it was the most beautiful thing you said today. So it's your turn to ask one."

Telly

"Oh, alright." He looked around, finding the phone from where it had fallen in their kissing frenzy. He scrolled through it before making a face briefly.

"You know, there's something I've wanted to ask that's not on this list, and what better time than now?" Telly smiled, albeit sheepishly, turning to glance away as he worked up the nerve to ask his question.

"So, to preface this, I know when it comes to bedroom things, there are things you definitely do not want to do, one being me touching you in the--" He gestured vaguely to Alastor's crotch. "But I was wondering, what's your opinion on.....blow jobs?" He muttered the last word, looking away even harder.

Alastor

"Really? 'How do you feel about blow jobs,' they left that one off the list?" He squinted in exaggerated puzzlement at the phone. "How did they miss *that* one?" He tutted chidingly, then turned to Telly. "Giving or receiving? Or both? Or just as a general cultural phenomenon?"

Telly

"Well, I assumed that since you don't want me doing anything--" He gestured again to Alastor's crotch. "-- _down there_, that it would be giving."

~~He is still not making eye contact. He is not Looking.~~

Alastor

"Well... actually, I've been thinking about it." A dramatic pause. "And I'm still thinking about it."

Okay, now that he'd got the instinct to be a troll out of his system: "Here's the thing. Most available options, I've got clear opinions on and I don't have to wonder about them. Hand jobs? Sure, I've been giving them to myself for over a century, no problem with that. Anal? God hung a sign over that door that says 'exit only,' and while I'm perfectly happy to ignore that sign to sneak into a theater or a gourmet kitchen, I don't feel compelled to break into the back door of my sewage facility. And so on! But blow jobs, though?" He shrugged expansively, clueless.

"It's always looked disgusting, but that was when I was considering the prospect of all that hair and sweat and the crust of poor hygiene. None of that's a factor here. On the other hand, I generally don't stick things in my mouth I don't intend to chew and swallow—see, that sign on one end marked 'exit only' is accompanied by one on the other side that reads 'entrance only.' Kissing is fine, licking and nipping are fine, but the idea of sticking something in there and... *holding* it? Sliding it back and forth? It's..." He trailed off. "Well—neither good nor bad. Just... alien. I can't really imagine how it'd go."

He took a deep breath. "And of course, the fastest way to find out would be to go 'Well, whip 'em out, let me slobber on them and see how I like it!' But: I don't want to offer that if I don't already *know.* I don't want to get your hopes up just to find out in under ten seconds that I hate it and I'm never doing it again."

Telly

Telly listened, giving a small chuckle at Alastor's analogies. He pondered for a moment, his hand moving up to stroke at his chin. "Well, the thing is, how _will_ we know unless we try? That's a thing in science: you form a hypothesis and then conduct experiments to see if you're correct. You know that if something doesn't work out, or you _don't_ end up liking it or wanting to do it again, that's fine, yes? I'd rather us try and fail, than never try at all for only fearing the failure.

"Now, I'm not saying we jump right in and try it out right this very minute, but sometime in the future, why not give it a shot? The worst case is you don't like it, and then we know and we don't have to wonder anymore. Best case? We have another position we're both comfortable with.

"And stemming from that, if you don't like the idea of sticking the whole thing in, then there's always just licking-- or even eating me out, my slit where they're usually stored _is_, ah, capable of experiencing that as well. There's variations we could test. And if you don't like them either, no harm, no foul." He shrugged, one hand going to cup Alastor's cheek.

Alastor

"Don't scientists also do research first? To base their hypothesis on what they already know? I'm confident I could do more research." He leaned into Telly's touch, eyes sliding shut. "I'm... not ready yet." Which was embarrassing as all hell for him to admit—him, *Alastor* the *Radio Demon*, not ready for something. "I want to know that at least I haven't overlooked something obvious just because I rushed it. I—" he winced, "I don't consider myself a nervous person—but the thing is I don't want to be the least bit nervous while I've got a very delicate piece of equipment between my teeth."

Telly

"And that's fine, too. Like I said, we don't need to jump into it _right now_, or anything. We can wait until you're ready to try." He smiled and leaned in to give him a kiss.

"Alright, I think it's your turn now."

Alastor

Kiss! "All right, what have we got here..." They were down in the relationship and sex questions. He scrolled a bit, barked out a "HA," gave Telly a shit-eating grin, and read, "How well do you think our sex drives match up?"

Telly

Telly blinked at the question-- before breaking into a fit of cackling. His head tossed back, his laugh was loud and echoed in the cavernous bridge.

Alastor

Alastor cackled along with him, so loud his voice took on a note of distortion as if blasting from an overburdened speaker, and he flopped off of Telly's tail and onto his side. "Pff—perfectly synchronized," he wheezed, "right?"

Telly

Telly wheezed as well, trying to get out his reply. "Oh yes, perfectly!" He flopped back, giggling manically.

Alastor

He tugged Telly down to pull him into a hug, even as he laughed. The fact that they could laugh about it was good. Even if they weren't in sync, at least they weren't in conflict. That was what mattered.

"Ahh... I'll find a real one, give me a second."

Telly

Telly's chuckles tapered off as he settled against Alastor, purring. "You're hilarious, you know that, right?"

Alastor

"*Thank* you!" Now here was a smile that could light up a room. "I know it, but I like to know you know it too." He scrolled through the list, looking for one of the more serious questions he'd wanted to ask. "What are some of your relationship goals?" He paused. "Besides blow jobs."

Telly

"Relationship goals?" He tilted his head, a confused frown on his face. "I'm...not sure? Does a relationship need _goals_? I'm happy to be with you, no matter what."

He considered for another moment. "I suppose...us being happy is a goal? Can that be a goal?"

Alastor

"Sure! It can be a goal! The most important one, I think!" He propped himself up so he could look at Telly more directly. "You're not planning all this too far ahead, are you? Besides our next raid or two and the next thing to build and a list of enemies for us to topple?"

Telly

His face scrunched briefly. "No, not too far in advance. That's where I got into....complications before, when it was all planning, no _doing_. I thought a different approach would work better this time around-- but that's about conquering, and not about _us_. Sure, my goals for Hell are important, but as long as you're by my side, I feel like....that part will go much more smoothly."

Alastor

His smile warmed at Telly's faith in him. "I think relationship goals and conquering goals overlap. Like, say, what if your goal was to conquer and rule Hell with me, but my secret little goal for us was to find a way we could permanently sneak out of Hell and live in the mortal realm? I *don't*, but just for example. Both those would affect which direction our relationship goes—so I think they'd count as relationship goals. And we'd be in trouble if we both assumed we'd get ours without talking to the other."

Telly

"That is true, I just thought that the question was more specifically about goals for our relationship by itself. But you're right! Life-- or rather, Death Goals also affect relationships!" He chuckled.

Alastor

"It could be." He looked at the question and shrugged. "Whatever gives us a more interesting answer, I think! So! I'll amend it: have any relationship goals or goal that'll affect our relationship?"

Telly

"Well, in that case, I have the goal of conquering Hell with you by my side!" He laughed, winking at Alastor.

Alastor

"You know, that's on my list, too!" He laughed as well. "Just the two for now, then? Keep it nice and simple?"

Telly

"Yes, for now!" He shrugged, taking the phone back to scroll through questions.

He hummed as he looked and then grinned wickedly. "Alright, here's one I like: 'What are some things you really like about me?'"

Alastor

"Oh! How much time do you have!" He laughed. "Where to start? I like that evil smile of yours!" He pecked Telly's lips. "I like how you embrace what got you damned, instead of either denying it or moping about it. I like your organ playing—and your dancing—and the way you move. I like how you can think up some insane contraption, go, 'let there be a freeze ray!' and behold, within a day there is. I like how when I look at all you can make, I really do believe that you're the one human who could beat gods and demons not by borrowing their tricks but just by being human. I like how much you enjoy my cooking. I like how you hum when you work. I like how passionate you are about your inventions. I like your taste in interior design. I like your laugh. I like watching you swim. Should I keep going?"

Telly

As Alastor spoke, Telly curled around him, his purr starting up. He coiled tighter and grinned wider, until he was beaming and his face looked near to breaking. He squirmed briefly and laughed.

"Heh! Is that all? Is there more? Please DO feed my ego!!"

Alastor

"Oh, fine, fine! I also like how megalomania looks on you when your ego's been fed! And that menacing rumble you get, low in your chest. And the way your body feels." He ran a hand down along Telly's tail. "And the color of your eyes. *And* your scales. And the fact that you're theatrical enough to keep up with me. And the way you'll dress up to go somewhere fun with me. And when I'm going a hundred miles an hour, you don't ask me to slow down, but go a hundred and five. And you enjoy torturing a prisoner or seeing a musical or burgling a mall all just the same. And you have terrific taste in weapons. And your idea of a good date is having a picnic over the grave of the man who mistreated you. And you've never been horrified by me, even when you damn well should be. And you have a sadistic streak that borders on a form of art. And you make my dead heart start again when you sing. And you can play string duets like it's nothing. And you mix your own fragrances."

Telly

Telly couldn't help the overly pleased look that grew on his face. He purred and pressed his face into Alastor's shoulder. "If I could blush, I'd be bright as a traffic light." He kept grinning against Alastor.

"Love you, dear..."

Alastor

"Love you, *mon roi.*" A smooch to the side of his head.

Telly

Telly nuzzled and then looked up to kiss Alastor's lips.

Alastor

He returned the kiss, broke it long enough to say, "—and your teeth—" and went back in.

Telly

That little addition earned him a nip, and a grin against his lips.

Alastor

He nipped Telly back, chest trembling with silent laughter. Maybe he should start keeping a list. Make sure he remembered to tell Telly about every item on it at least once.

Telly

He laughed, too, giving another nip. He squeezed Alastor with tail and arms.

"One of these days, I'm going to make you blush like you make me."

Alastor

"I thought you said you couldn't blush." Alastor winked. "I'll look forward to that day! I'd better be red as a tomato!"

Telly

"You may not see it on my face, but you _know_ when you do, Alastor!" He chided playfully.

Alastor

"I might," he said innocently. "Tell me—was all that the answer you wanted to hear? I didn't leave out anything important, did I? There's just so much to try to remember!"

Telly

"Mm, no, I think you covered your bases pretty well," He said with a grin.

Alastor

"Good!" He beamed brilliantly. "I want to make sure you're feeling properly appreciated, after all!"

Telly

"You do, you do." He laughed, handing back the phone as he cuddled closer. "I think it was your turn now."

Alastor

"I think you're right!" He scrolled slowly through the list. "We just did a couple of relationship questions... So! What are some of your earliest memories?"

Telly

"Hmmm..." He sat back, taking Alastor's free hand with him as he pondered.

"I suppose it would be my mother overseeing the governess dressing me for some function when I was very young."

Alastor

"The governess! I don't think you've ever mentioned her." Although it made sense that a noble family had a house full of help, didn't it? "What was she like? Was she the one who taught you?"

Telly

"We had a number of them over the years-- never kept one too long, Father always said they got 'overly familiar' after a while." He shrugged.

Alastor

He had to take a moment to process that. "Is that code for 'he fired anyone who started to express concern for his children's well-being,' or 'he was sleeping with the help and fired them whenever he got caught'?"

Telly

"The former. There was one governess who was especially concerned about me, when I was, oh, six or seven, I believe? She went to my mother to speak with her about something regarding me, and the next day she was gone."

Telly snorted. "It's like they expected these women whom they hired to raise and teach their children to do so without becoming emotionally invested in said children."

Alastor

"Well, *they've* got no trouble regarding their children like vessels for their legacy instead of people, why is it so hard for someone they hired to do the same?" He shook his head. "You were already worrying people at six? What kind of trouble were you in?" He hoped it was the "already making dangerous inventions" variety rather than the "unusually miserable for a six-year-old" variety, but he wasn't getting his hopes up.

Telly

"I was either very quiet or very loud, I couldn't pay attention or I focused too hard on things, etcetera." He shrugged again. "The normal 'this child is not a neurotypical child' thing."

Alastor

"*There's* a five dollar word! You too?" Alastor laughed ruefully. "Funny thing, all my teachers said the same thing. Except *they* didn't get emotionally invested." He grimaced. "But then I wasn't a noble boy—I was just somebody's bastard."

Telly

"What, did you think the compulsion to create great machines of awe and destruction and take over the world came from the mind of someone who _wasn't_ afflicted with many neurodivergencies?" He chuckled.

"But yes, a few of them were worried, and a couple more tried the 'beat it out of him' method of fixing it."

Alastor

"There's a *six* dollar word. Does it include shocking inspiration and genius beyond any other human's capacity? Because I suspected that part."

Alastor sneered, his lip curling up to expose his teeth, as if contemplating sinking them into the throats of whichever governesses had dared pull such a stunt. "I'm familiar with *that* method." He shifted to kiss Telly's forehead. "I doubt it worked any better on you than it did on me."

Telly

"Yes, I believe so! It didn't work at all for me." He chuckled. "There were some better than others-- I really hated the one that used a switch." He shuddered.

Alastor

"Yard stick," Alastor said mournfully. "I think my mother would have murdered anyone who took a switch to me, but I wasn't friends with that yard stick."

Telly

"They would smack me when I focused too hard, and then when I couldn't focus at all-- it would send quite the mixed signals." He shook his head, and leaned in to kiss his forehead in return.

Alastor

A bitter laugh. "And for some reason they think the constant looming threat of punishment *helps* you focus!" Alastor shut his eyes to bask in the kiss.

"I don't suppose you've ever talked to a doctor about that, have you? I talked to one a couple of decades ago that said these days they think poor focus is a medical thing. They make drugs for that now."

Telly

"I haven't talked to any doctors, no, but I've done plenty of research on my own! After all, I like to think I'm smarter than most doctors who would end up in Hell!" He laughed.

"I've figured out that I likely had ADHD and a random assortment of co-morbid disorders, such as anxiety, depression, possibly mild OCD, and anger issues!" He seemed proud of that-- the fact he'd been able to suss all that out.

Alastor

His eyes lit up. "Oh! You too!" A pause. "The ADHD part, I mean." Says the man with depression oozing out of every pore. "Why, I should have guessed! Look at us, two peas in a pod!" He'd never thought discovering he has the same extremely specific mental condition as someone else would ever be something so *delightful*, but here he was. "Do you *want* drugs for that? I know a reliable adderall dealer."

Telly

"I've tried a few, they don't work right for me-- or at least, I don't like how they work for me." He shrugged again, and then smiled.

"I had an inkling that we might share that, though!"

Alastor

"I can't say I'm *surprised.* I should have suspected it when I learned how often you skipped meals to keep working." He tilted his head. "I've got a recipe for a focus potion I could teach you? All natural except for the ritalin, but we can leave that ingredient out if you don't like how it affects you." The ritalin may, in fact, have been the part that made the focus potion work. (When he said "all natural" that description was including the cocaine.)

Telly

"We could try it-- but mostly, I've found ways to manage without, mostly. I'd be game for trying, though." He smiled. "Is the focus potion what you use to keep yours in check?"

Alastor

"It helps! Potions, drugs—and I've been told *coffee* helps too, although I never would have made the connection myself." He shrugged. "I was about a hundred when I got a diagnosis, I'm sure by now all my tricks to 'keep it in check' are so intrinsic to my life I'll never realize that's what I'm using them for! What about you, what are your 'ways to manage' it?"

Telly

"Mostly using the Eggs to help me remember to do essential things, but otherwise letting my focus run its course. Of course, that doesn't always work, as you know."

Alastor

"Oh! Yes, of course—I delegate all my 'essential things' to my little shadow helpers. I don't have to remember to do it if someone else is doing it."

Telly

"Exactly! It's one reason I made the Eggs in the first place!" He laughed.

Alastor

"Someday, I hope you'll teach me *how* you made them, because I'm just dying to know." He had a hard time believing magic hadn't been involved.

Telly

"It was a little of this and that, and some other things." He shrugged.

Alastor

"Uh-*huh.*" A smirk. "All right. Keep your secrets. I'll dig them out some other night."

Telly

"Yes, some other night." He grinned back.

"My turn now, though." Telly took the phone back and scrolled through. "Hmmm, 'What habits do you still have from childhood?'"

Alastor

"Huh..." He thought a moment. "This is a cheat, since we were talking about it earlier, but I can't fall asleep without listening to something. First my mother singing to me, then a record player, then radio. And now you." He gave Telly a crooked grin. "But that's not fair, you could have guessed that one! Uh... crunching leaves, splashing puddles... singing and dancing at people who didn't ask for it... counting on my fingers... humming... reading on the toilet..."

Telly

"All of those are very cute, save for the toilet one." He chuckled, giving Alastor a squeeze. "Did the seasons change enough in Louisiana for crunching leaves, though?"

Alastor

"Sure! Not as spectacularly as you get up north, maybe, and we've got some stubborn trees that don't have the sense to drop their leaves in the winter—but they change! Usually, oh..." He closed his eyes, trying to remember. "Sometimes by Halloween—every year I'd hope they would—but not always. Usually by December, though. Brown leaves all over the sidewalks." He opened his eyes again. "I'd see prettier foliage on hunting trips from time to time, especially in parishes farther north. The trees were bare where I died, I remember that."

Telly

Telly listened, his mind running ahead a mile a minute. "Is red your favorite color?"

Alastor

"I don't make it *too* obvious, do I?" He laughed.

Telly

"Was it always your favorite? Or did that change over time?"

Alastor

He thought. "It's almost always been red! Crimson, particularly. But ruby too. Green was my favorite for a bit in my twenties, and I have phases where I just can't get enough of yellow and gold, but I always come back to red." He beamed at Telly, "Guess why I like yellow."

Telly

Telly laughed and flared one side of his hood, grinning. "I think I know why. But that's interesting! Red and yellow are both fall sorts of colors, but green! That's different. Green is more spring!"

He paused and shrugged. "I don't know what it means, but it's interesting!"

Alastor

"It makes me think of summer, actually! Not pale fresh greens but those rich, warm greens." Shapes in lights appeared above him, aimless spirals as he tried to wrestle their hue away from his magic's typical red and into the greens he was thinking of; after a few attempts, he managed several spirals in shades of emerald and basil and moss and olive and hunter green.

Telly

"Ah, yes, I do like those greens! You know what those shades of green go well with?" He flared his hood again, grinning. "Gold! I've always been fond of that combination, green and gold, and along similar lines, blue and silver-- they're pairs that are rarely made because one sees more red and gold than green and gold. Blue and silver is a more common occurrence, though, but still rarer than using red, I think."

Alastor

He summoned up the swirls of color again, letting them hover around Telly's face in front of his hood. "You're right! Have I ever seen you in green? I think your Mardi Gras dress had some green, didn't it, but that was more of a blue-green. I'd like to see a real vivid green on you." He reached up to lightly, almost absentmindedly run a finger along the edge of Telly's hood. "What are your favorite colors overall? I'm guessing gold's right up there."

Telly

"Yes, that was more of a pale teal than a true green-- a sea green, as the theme would have it." He chuckled, head tilting, one half of his hood folding back to allow the motion.

"Gold, black, blue, green-- I became fond of the particular shade of pink that my eyes are after death, but before then, I stuck to deep saturated and rather dark colors."

Alastor

"You know, *I'm* fond of that particular shade of pink, too!" And then he had to look at the color to remind himself of why he liked it, and then he was just staring into Telly's eyes. Wow. He had pretty eyes. What were they talking about?

Telly

With Alastor staring into his eyes, he couldn't help but stare back at Alastor's, and he found himself saying, "You know, I think I've become rather fond of brilliant true red, as well...."

Alastor

"Yeah?" Eloquent. It took him a second to remember the topic. "I should hope so, considering I'm filling half your rooms with red these days." He slid his arms around Telly's shoulders. "We should have a green room..." Aaand pulled him down into a kiss. He distracted himself with all that deep eye contact.

Telly

He was more than happy to be distracted by kisses, the eye contact got to him, too. He squeezed Alastor, nipping his lips.

Alastor

He nipped back, eyes sliding shut, melting into the constrictive embrace. Who needs Heaven when he can get this in Hell.

Telly

Telly lingered in the kiss, lazy and slow, before he pulled back. "Mm, it's fascinating how many different ways one can find to kiss someone."

Alastor

"Isn't it?" His eyes opened a slit, and for a moment he eyed Telly's lips contemplatively. It would be very easy to just keep going... But they'd have time enough for that later, and his desire to keep talking to Telly was stronger. (When wasn't it?) "That time, I think I really did lose track of whose turn it is."

Telly

"I believe it's yours. I was the one who started us off on a tangent after you answered one." He smiled, nuzzling against Alastor's cheek, pressing little kisses along his jaw.

Alastor

"Right! Uh—" Oh he's distracted again. He tried to focus on his phone over Telly's shoulder. "What—what's something we could do to bring us closer together as a couple?" A pause. "Besides blow jobs."

Telly

Telly paused as well, face nuzzled against Alastor's, lips still there against his skin as he spoke. "Mm, I think what we're doing right now? Just...talking about things, enjoying being with one another. Maybe a few more couple bonding murders..." He laughed.

Alastor

"Ooh, more murders. I like the sound of that." He nuzzled Telly back. "What else? Something we're not already doing. I—feel like we've only just begun and there's room for us to do so much more."

Telly

"Honestly? I'm not sure! I may have more experience than you, but only by a fraction," He said, humming against Alastor's skin.

Alastor

That hum traveled down Alastor's neck and up the side of us head. His brain is jelly. "Well—think on it and let me know, would you? I want to do more for you. And with you."

Telly

"I will," He said, chuckling. "My turn?" He hummed again. "Alright, how about the same question: is there something you can think of that would bring us closer as a couple?"

Alastor

"Hell. You already took murder, what does that leave me with?" He laughed, then trailed off thoughtfully.

After a moment, he said, "I'd like if you asked me more questions about me. I know that's what we're doing now, but—in general. When I ask you about your beliefs, ask about mine. When I tell you I hunted humans for sport—ask why I did something crazy like that. If—if you want to know, I mean." Implicit: *you do, don't you?*

"I know we both know I never shut up, so I could just *tell* you, but... I prefer to be asked. I like to know you want... more of me than just my surface level. I'm still an entertainer, you know—I react to what my audience shows interest in."

Telly

Telly listened, lifting his head as he tilted it in thought. "Okay. I think I can do that. Generally, I don't....ask more because I don't want to pry."

He winced, looking away. "Another bad habit George instilled in me, I think."

Alastor

Alastor laughed in disbelief, "You mean he wasn't taking every opportunity to talk about himself? Color me surprised!" But then he'd probably just wanted Telly to be quiet. *Shut up and look at the stars.*

"Well, unlike *George*"—he said the name like an insult—"I *want* to know you, and I want *you* to know *me.* So if you wonder, you can ask. And I'll let you know if you ask something I can't talk about."

Telly

Telly smiled, softly and shyly at first and then with more confidence. "Okay. I will."

He let out a breath. "Did you ever tell me how you got started in radio?"

Alastor

Alastor beamed. "I don't think I did! It was in '24! I'd realized that New York didn't have what I was looking for, and I was looking for an excuse to go back to New Orleans, when my mother mentioned in a letter that a new station was going up and they were looking for somebody with a cultured accent to announce the evening orchestras. Well, I knew my way around a hobby radio kit, so I paid to make a long-distance call to the station manager, read off the first paragraph of a musical review in my best Broadway stage voice, and asked him, 'How about that, is that the voice you're looking for?' He hired me sight unseen!" He laughed. "I told myself it would be a fine part-time job until I could get in with a jazz band or a vaudeville troupe, something like that, but... I think part of me knew even then."

Telly

Telly smiled brightly. "Sounds like destiny to me. Now, when did you start killing? It was after going back to New Orleans, correct?"

Alastor

"When I started killing seriously, yes. I'd committed one murder before then, and..." A thoughtful squint. "Well, I *might* have got some Germans, but I don't know for sure. They don't exactly call you from across no man's land to congratulate you on your shot."

Telly

Telly's head tilted again, curiosity piqued.

"Who was your first? Kill, that is."

Alastor

"My racist grandfather who taught me the word 'bastard' when my father wasn't listening." He smiled grimly. "'Hunting accident.' *Very* tragic."

He nodded at Telly, "Who was *yours*? Was your attack on London the first time, or did you get a taste for it before then?"

Telly

"First that was fully intentional? My...business partner. He wanted to pull the funding for my work. I killed him and wrote letters to keep the money flowing."

Alastor

"Your *business partner*? You had a business partner? Who was *he*?" Alastor paused. "No, wait—'fully intentional'?" He paused again. "No no wait, tell me about the business partner first!"

Telly

Telly's face scrunched, and then flattened, and then scrunched again, as if he was trying to decide if what he was about to say was terrible, hilarious, embarrassing, or all three.

"He was Olivia's father. He saw potential in me, which is why he agreed to the engagement in the first place."

Alastor

His eyebrows went up. "Her *father.* Your—your friend's father! George's father-in-law. Him. Were you writing letters as him to *them*?"

Telly

Telly nodded, and let out a manic sort of laugh. "Yes! I made assurances everything was fine, that he was staying in Dover for a time as the sea air did him good, that sort of thing. Never suspected a thing."

Alastor

He blinked, an amazed smile on his face. "To your *own friend.* Oh, that's *cold.*" He laughed, pulling Telly into a quick kiss. "Did they ever find out anything had happened before you died?"

Telly

"To be honest, I wasn't thinking about her when I did....any of it. But no, she never knew until after my death."

Alastor

"She must have had a miserable time after you died, poor thing." He shook his head sympathetically—not *too* sympathetically, but he wasn't going to make fun of her when he knew Telly had actually cared about her. "Was it your airship you were working on when he tried to pull his money?"

Telly

"Yes. I'd hired a good few people to work on it day and night, and we were so close to finishing....though, 'close' was more like 'another two years', but back then that was _very_ close!" He laughed.

Alastor

"For something that size, first of its kind? I should say so! What made him want to pull out?"

Telly

"Well, that leads back to them, uh..._unintentional_ deaths. You see, I did not care for workplace safety." He chuckled.

Alastor

"*Ha!* I see! No surprise, having them work on it day and night!" He cupped Telly's cheek in a hand. "Did your callousness frighten him, my darling?"

Telly

"That and the, ah, _amount_ of men who died." He beamed.

Alastor

Alastor hooted. "You even sound *proud*! Were you proud at the time, or did you have to learn to be?"

Telly

"At the time, I was unconcerned. Mostly still am. They died so that my vision became a reality! It wasn't shameful-- their deaths had purpose!"

Alastor

"And a hell of a vision it was!" Although it might explain why apparently one of them had done slipshod work on the pipes; but pointing that out might sound like a criticism instead of an observation.

Telly

"Yes, well, Lord Everton was considerably disappointed in what he called a 'lack of safety' and 'lack of progress'. But I dealt with that."

Alastor

Alastor scoffed. "Oh, and what kind of progress was *he* expecting on the world's first flying ship? Did he think he'd be sailing it over the English Channel in three months?"

Telly

"_He_ thought it was to be just a submersible!" He laughed. "And he thought five years was more than a generous amount of time for it."

Alastor

"You didn't tell him it was going to *fly*? Why, I thought that would be a selling point!" He had no idea how long it was supposed to have taken to make a submarine in the late 1800s, so he couldn't comment on *that * part.

Telly

"Well, at first, it _wasn't_ but then I changed the blueprints a number of times and it just became an airship, too." Telly shook his head. "I was frantic and possessed by my genius."

Alastor

A strange look crossed Alastor's face. "Sounds like it must have been one hell of a time. In both good and bad ways." He almost said more, but paused, waiting to see if Telly had more to add to the story.

Telly

"It was, certainly, it was." He nodded and sighed, leaning against Alastor.

Alastor

He rubbed Telly's back for a moment, thoughtfully; then said, "That's probably how I would have described myself as a murderer toward the end. *Frantic and possessed.* Not by genius—and certainly not by something *forcing* me to kill—but I was... trying to make something." He said the words slowly, choosing them carefully. "I needed to take something inside of me and create it in the real world, and I couldn't stop until I succeeded." He looked at Telly searchingly, seeing whether he understood.

Telly

Telly locked eyes with Alastor, and nodded slowly. "Yes. I wanted to leave something behind, something grand, and it didn't matter what got in my way. Nothing was too high a cost for trying to complete _this thing_. I suspect it was a little different for you, with your killing, but....I thing the feeling was probably the same."

Alastor

"I wasn't trying to leave something behind, but I was trying to... *be* something, or—or *do* something, and I wouldn't be *complete* until I'd done it. By the time I died, it was almost the only thing that mattered." He took a deep breath. "It's like a forest fire, isn't it? There's nothing as beautiful as that blazing light, but it consumes everything in you."

Telly

Telly found himself nodding on instinct, and then when he realized what he was doing, he nodded more vigorously. "It starts like a spark and then just grows and grows until the blaze is all there is, and it's terrible and beautiful and you can't help but just....let it consume you."

Alastor

"And then you burn out. And then you're dead. And what have you got for it but the ashes of the life you could have lived if you hadn't kindled that obsession?" He gave Telly a sad smile. "Still. I wish I'd seen you when you blazed. I'll bet you were glorious."

Telly

"Sometimes you burn out even after death. I was still riding that blaze long after I think. At least, until..." He trailed off.

"I'm sure you could find old newspapers or broadcasts of my glory days in Hell, if you wanted."

Alastor

"Oh, I *plan* to! The only reason I haven't been devouring every article ever written about you is because I've had to read how to repair pipe organs first!" He smirked cheekily for a moment; but the mood wasn't right for that, and the smirk faded.

"I only *blazed* for... oh, I don't know, it might have been as short as my first day in Hell. Just long enough to ruin everything." He huffed. "Sure, I *really* crashed and burned a few decades later, but that was different. That had nothing to do with the murders. I think the old obsession's still smoldering, but—it doesn't consume me like it used to."

Telly

"Yes, there's something about dying and then falling from grace that does that, isn't there? I was flying high until-- that....incident. And then that failure tempered my drive...or squashed it, more like..."

Alastor

Alastor nodded thoughtfully. "Would you go back to that frantic and possessed feeling if you could?"

Telly

Telly thought for a long moment. "...No. No, I don't think I would. That fire and drive were intoxicating, but it didn't leave room for anything else. It was all just....the creation of it."

He turned to smile at Alastor, pressing his hand to his cheek. "I have things now that I want to have plenty of room for."

Alastor

He smiled crookedly back. "I don't think I would, either. I think I'm too old for serial killing now. I get tired just thinking of the kind of schedule I used to keep." He laughed wearily.

"... What if that's what it takes to conquer Hell, though?" He placed his hand over Telly's. "If I see you pushing yourself into obsession, do you want me to pull you back? Or do you want me to come with you?"

Telly

He considered that for another long moment. "I'm not sure. I don't have an answer right now-- I think that's a 'we'll cross that bridge when we come to it' sort of thing. But whatever the answer, I'm glad you'll be with me." Telly leaned in for a kiss.

Alastor

He accepted the kiss and held it for a moment, then drew back and pressed his forehead to Telly's. "We don't need the answer tonight—but I'd like to have it before we reach that bridge. Once we get there, I imagine pulling you back from the brink would take a fight. Better to know *before* then whether you want me to try."

Telly

"Yes....yes, you're right. It's just such a vast sort of question, because how are we to know the circumstances that would surround such a second descent?" He took a breath. "It would be complicated. But I don't think I'll go there again-- when I went there in life, it was from a very dark place, and the obsession became everything. I don't think I'd be able to get to that place again without something....drastic."

Alastor

"For now we'll call that a soft 'no', how's that? But we'll play it by ear. We can talk it over more in the future."

Telly

"Yes, I think that would be best." He laughed, leaning against him.

Alastor

Alastor adjusted his arms around Telly—and then, during the brief lull in the conversation, glanced at the movie. "... How long has that been off?" He laughed.

Telly

Telly blinked and looked over as well. "Goodness, I don't know. We talked through the whole thing!" He laughed.

Alastor

"And you know, I bet we had twice as much fun as we would have watching the movie!" All the same, he started quietly playing the soundtrack—to make up for not hearing it the first time. "Well, what now? The night's still young."

Telly

"Well, we still have food. And we could put on another movie if you'd like, and this time watch it." Telly chuckled. "I'm ready for whatever you wish, darling, I just want to keep holding you."

Alastor

"We *do* still have food." He grabbed a couple crostini, popped one in his mouth, and offered the other to Telly. "Oh, I don't know if I could pay attention to another movie—but I like this 'keep holding you' idea, I think we ought to do something with that."

Telly

Telly accepted the snack and smiled. "Yes, that would be good. Maybe some more kisses, too."

Alastor

"Do you know what I think about *that*?" Without waiting for an answer, he pulled Telly into a deep kiss.

Telly

Telly's eyes flashed wide for a moment before he melted into the kiss. What a night this had been.

Alastor

What a night indeed. Alastor nipped at Telly's lip and pressed closer against him; yes, he could happily stay right here the rest of the night.

#usedhearts #chat log

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azurevi · 4 years

Text

on land where we can touch the moon (1/?)

Ok, so this is a really random idea, but it’s basically The Little Mermaid with Azul. And I wish I could excuse myself by saying that I was drunk writing this, but really I was just rushing it because I’ve been sitting on it for far too long. Anyways, enjoy!

Pairing : Azul / genderneutral reader

Characters : Grim, Ace and Deuce

Warnings/Triggers : none

Word count : 3,371

PART2 PART 3

“Isn’t this great,” you made a show of strolling along the railing, the beer in your hand threatening to spill. “The salty sea air, the wind blowing in your face. Perfect day to be at sea!”

“Yes, well-” Jack paused mid-sentence to lean over the side. He sounded as though he was retching. “It is indeed a favourable weather, your royal highness- urk!”

“Now, what did I say about formalities, Jack?”

“You said, and I quote, ‘Call me by my first name, if only for today. It’s a direct order.’”

You went up to soothe his back. When he pulled his head up, his eyes were glossy and cheeks purple. “It’s inappropriate for you to see me in this state, your majesty,”

“So you’re defying my orders now? And on my birthday, no less?”

“That man is all work and no fun,” Ace commented bitterly. He and Deuce were on the opposite side of the ship, holding their respective mugs of beer.

“That’s what makes him the knight commander,” Deuce said.

“A knight commander who’s seasick, huh?”

“Shut up, both of you!“

You chortled blatantly, chest light and hair spraying in the wind.

"Fireball Attack!”

There was a sharp yell, and Grim’s fur was all up in your face before you knew it.

“Hey, hey! Someone’s in a good mood!” You cradled him in your arms. His fur was fluffy and sticking up in the air in all directions.

While you were entertaining your attention-starved familiar, your personal knights had managed to get into yet another fistfight. Jack, the poor commander, was cornered on the edge of the ship, his golden, distinguished pin somehow threatening to slip off in his fingers.

“If I drop my badge, I swear on my wage you’re getting extra morning training and night patrols for the next whole year-!”

He gagged slightly before turning sharply, elbowing Ace in the process. His arm jolted, and the badge escaped his firm pinch, glistening in the air. Time seemed to slow as it made its way downwards, all the while the knights’ mouths grew rounder and rounder.

It plummeted right into the sea, made an insignificant plop and continued sinking quietly, slowly, until the sea muted the screams on deck and the light dwindled.

“We should really stay away, Rory,”

“Quit being a chicken,”

Lovett was falling behind. Rory had insisted that they visit this deeper and lesser known part of the ocean due to a half-hearted dare. And Rory, headstrong that she was, would never back down from a challenge.

“Haven’t you heard? Deep where the light doesn’t reach lives the evil Sea Merchant! A force to be reckoned with! It’s-”

Lovett swivelled swiftly. He was pretty sure something had just swam past from behind.

“Oh, for the love of Poseidon, please don’t eat me for I’m just a standard merman!”

“Will you zip?” Rory was already a few feets ahead. Lovett continued to mumble prayers as he flapped his tail harder.

There was almost no light now, but they could still make out the outlines of rocks and corals. It was uncanny how there was nary a sign of life, not even a lanternfish.

“What’s- what’s the dare anyways?”

“To steal something from the evil Sea Merchant’s collection,”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Lovett gasped. He had yet to notice how they’d swam into a forest of seaweeds. Some clung to their tails as they swam by and tickled their sides.

Something strong and somewhat slimy wrapped around Lovett’s arm. Presuming that it was just another irritating weed, he swung his arm back and forth. It only seemed to grow tighter.

“Great seas, what-” he turned to inspect. “Oh- oh- ten-TENTACLE!”

Rory sprinted around at the scream. “Holy-” she murmured, speechless and shocked to the core.

Wrapped around Lovett’s elbow was no doubt a tentacle lined with suckers. For a while, it didn’t seem to be moving, but then Lovett was yanked away like lightning.

“Lovett!”

The first thought that came to his mind was that he was going to be eaten. That was until he was met with a frowning face. One under silver messy hair. Then his eyes traveled down the seemingly countless slithering tentacles that stretched out from the man, and he was trembling in fear again.

“Please-! Don’t eat me! I have the least nutritional diet!”

The man didn’t answer. Instead, he squinted at Lovett for an agonizingly long time before finally letting him loose. Lovett squirmed and backed away. The area where he had been held had become swollen red.

“Lovett?” Rory had just gotten into the scene. Lovett didn’t wait a second to break into a run, but Rory caught him by his elbow where it was still hurting.

“We gotta run, Rory-”

‘Huh. What, it’s just Ashengrotto? Have you forgotten about him already?“

Lovett whimpered when Rory advanced on the man. He narrowed his gaze behind a neat pair of glasses. Lovett half expected Rory to be squeezed to death on the spot.

"You’re lurking down here now? How lame. And I see that you still got those hideous fingers of yours,” Rory gestured at his tentacles. “You seriously don’t remember him, Lovett? You have shit memories. Does Azul Ashengrotto from college ring a bell?”

It took Lovett a long, long time to get it. “That’s right, you’re Azul! Man, how you’ve changed- wait, are you the Sea Merchant?”

There was nothing that could rival the bitterness in Azul’s voice. “Pleased to see you again, Lovett,”

“Is it easier to prey on fishes down here? Or are you just that insecure about yourself?” Rory paid no mind to their conversation.

“… It’s none of your business,”

“It actually is. You see, knowing that an ink-blasting octopus lives in the same water as I do is really unnerving-”

“Then make your leave.”

Rory’s smug look faltered.

“Why should I? You don’t even own this part of the ocean-”

“Oh? Who are these friends of yours, Azul?”

A singsong voice once again interrupted Rory. She turned on her spot, only to find herself face to face with a grinning face.

“Eek-!”

“Oh! If this isn’t Rory~ how kind of you to visit us!”

Lovett backed away quietly. He wasn’t going to stay for anymore of this horror. When two hands slammed onto his shoulders, he shrieked a key higher than any other that’s been sung by opera singers.

“Where do you think you’re going?” a far more stern and solid voice asked. It was one of those voices you hear in persuading commercials.

It was the Leech brothers, in their long, slender eel forms.

Lovett thought that was it. This was his doom. He was either going to get eaten alive or squeezed to his demise. He should never have agreed to come here. And now he was going to die. He didn’t even get to experience life-

“It’s fine, Jade, Floyd,” Azul said calmly. The hands on Lovett’s shoulders retreated, and Rory rushed towards him hastily and pulled him up and up until they were out of the seaweeds.

“I can’t believe you let them off that easily!” Floyd complained, pouting hard. “We could’ve had some fun with them first, and yet you decided to play good guy?”

Azul didn’t reply. The three of them travelled between rocks and reefs, and while Azul seemed to be in search of something, the twins were merely accompanying.

“I believe he has his reasons,” Jade said, pausing in anticipation. When Azul didn’t soothe his curiosity, he sighed and decided to drop the topic.

Azul rummaged through the swaying weeds and peeked into the slits of the rocks. Nothing seemed to have piqued his interest. Then they swam even further away from where they’d started and reached a sunken ship.

While almost the entirety of the hull had rotten away the structure of the ship still remained intact. Anemones and sponges had claimed the pieces of wood. Tiny shrimps traveled freely between poles and debrises.

Jade and Floyd followed tightly like bodyguards. They were at least mildly worried after the encounter with Rory and Lovett. They could still recall vividly how notorious Rory was and what a relief that they never had to meet again.

If anything, Azul seemed frustrated. His tentacles worked individually, shoving aside inconvenience hastily just like his hands. It was as though he’d lost something priced and valued.

“Let’s split up, alright? Treasure hunt’s no fun if we’re just following one another,” Floyd said as he rounded a corner and out of sight. Jade hesitantly stayed behind as well, leaving Azul to his own.

He’d been here so many times that he’d lost count. There was always something new and from the land somewhere between the ruins. But this time, it seemed to have become just another bland, boring place without any aesthetic value.

That was until something flickered in the corner of his eyes. It was so weak that it would’ve gone unnoticed by, say, Jade and Floyd, but Azul had always been delicate in treasure hunting. Nothing ever slipped his sight.

It looked like a badge. A golden brimmed badge with two crossed swords in the middle, and at the bottom carved two grand words - 'Knight Commander’.

“Oh, what’s that you’ve got there?”

“Ahh!"

Azul spoke up finally in a long time. The brothers had at some point started following him again.

"Looks like a badge,”

“Bet it sank just a few hours ago. It looks very intact,”

“Yeah,” Azul flipped it between his fingers, eyes tracing in fascination. “It’s not everyday you see something like this,”

His mood seemed to have lightened after this discovery. He was gratified. It’d been a while since he last found anything worthy enough to add to his collection of trinkets from ashore. It put a smile to his face just remembering his towering shelves of tiny valuables.

Azul owned a secret grotto that even the Leech brothers knew nothing of. He’d made sure that it was known only to him.

It was where he stored all the human objects he’d found undersea. Things like a trident but with four tips or a shallow, handled bowl. There were items as big as a golden pot and others as small as a hairclip. Everywhere he turned they were shimmering and singing about the unknown world outside the water, where mermaids had legs and walked instead of swimming, where they could dance instead of just swaying and flapping tails. Where they could go so many different places - forests and deserts, mountains and caves - many more than what the ocean held.

And they could reach the moon. The ageless, pensive moon that Azul could only wish to caress. But no matter how hard he stretched, it was only in his dreams where the moon would come down in all its glory, close enough to blind his eyes.

He needed to reach it. There was no other way. It was the single entity in the world that knew all the truths and lies, all the corruptions and praises. He had to see it, then he would get the answers - the truth he’d always hungered for.

Muffled rumbles snapped him out of his intensity. When he looked up from under the grotto, he’d thought he was hallucinating.

The usually azure (and rather bland, may he add) current was now painted with red- no, yellow- purple- it was changing with every muted clap. It might have as well been the end of the world with its bizarreness. However, there was something else stirring in Azul’s heart aside from confusion.

Curiosity. A haste force that was tingling in all his eight tentacles, as if there was no way to rid of the sensation except to swim towards the source.

It was wrong on so many levels. He’d been taught by teachers, friends and his parents that to go beyond the water was basically pleading to be killed. Humans are nothing but greedy, spineless, nasty fish-eaters who are incapable of emotions, that’s what everyone said.

Was that really the case, though? As Azul surveyed his collections, he found it harder by second to believe in the lore. How would they explain all these sparkling and antique cosmetics? How could a world that made so many wonderful things be bad?

And so he pushed aside all doubts that were chaining his limbs and flew towards the surface.

The moment he broke the fabric of water and chill air entered his ears, he was taken back by the sight before him.

A colossal wooden ship was sailing right above. Behind it, lights and fire burnt themselves in the sky then fell into the water dimly. There were singing and whooping aboard where he couldn’t see. The grandness of it all was so deafening that Azul failed to hear the voice of reason in his head as he neared the boat.

There was an opening at the side of the ship. Azul carefully stuck his head up so he wouldn’t be seen. At least not without squinting.

There were about five people dancing and hollering, some holding drinks in their hands while the others blowing into their snarfblats with reddened cheeks.

“Encore! Encore!” a red-haired guy yelled. Then there was an airy laugh in response. Azul turned sharply towards where it came from.

Azul was… awestruck, to say the least. You were grinning from eye to eye, which were diminished into slits. As you laughed on, Azul felt his chest lighten little by little. It was one of those laughs that pulled you closer and assured you that the world around was but a facade. He could listen to your laugh for the rest of his life and he’d never be distressed again.

“Alright, but can we first reveal the massive unknown that’s been standing here for the past hours? You know I can see it right?” you asked with confidence, and this confidence was just humble enough not to be arrogant.

“As you wish, mademoiselle,” another man with dark blue hair bowed with a flourish, then approached the object in question which was covered with a drape. He was at least tipsy with his wavering and unsteady steps.

“Presenting-!” he hollered before yanking the drape off. Surprisingly it was a golden statue made to resemble you.

You recoiled in mild distaste, but your smile remained. Azul pondered about how you still managed to radiate a cheerfulness despite your negative reaction.

It also occurred to him that it was made in gold. Out of all his collectibles there was rarely even a gold necklace. You must have a reputation for someone to make you such a big deal.

“Well, here’s your birthday present, milady,” the tipsy man was throwing names spontaneously now. The red-haired had to drag him away from the railing several times. You had all resumed singing and dancing. Azul was so captivated by your figure that he didn’t even notice the fireworks dying down.

You and a dark-skinned man were leaning right next him now. What looked like a cat but with flame shaped ears and a devil’s tail started sniffing in the vicinity. Azul was having a hard time staying out of its way and eavesdropping on your conversation.

“You sure you don’t want some?” you raised your mug to his face, which he declined respectfully.

“I’d prefer to stay sober,” he said. “You know, I don’t wish to spoil your birthday, but the king’s being more pressing than ever,”

“Yeah? About what?”

He stared at you for a moment before answering, as if he was trying to look pass your display.

“About marriage, of course,”

You didn’t answer. Though the corners of your lips were still raised in the aftermath of all the previous hypes, you were obviously unhappy to be there. Azul wished the man would shut up and bring your smile back instead.

“It’s not just the King, your highness. The whole kingdom wants to see you happily settled down with the right person,”

“Jack-” you took a deep, deep breath. “It’s not something that can come quicker just because you’re anxious. I have to find the right person-”

“I understand…” Jack mumbled under his breath. He didn’t look like he understood at all.

“- and they’re out there somewhere. I’m sure. I just haven’t found them yet,” you turned and dangled your arms over the railing. Azul quietly swam under your hands. He could probably touch your fingertips if he stretched hard enough.

“When I see them, it’s gonna hit me. Like bam! Like lightning-”

As if hearing your prayer the sky cracked open with a loud cry and grew darker still. The other men scattered out hurriedly, looking as though they’d never drunk anything.

“Hurricane coming in! Stand fast, secure the rigging!”

It all happened so fast. The wind was so strong that Azul could almost feel himself being blown away. The sky rumbled again and lightning started a rapid fire where it’d striked. He noticed a rock looming just ahead, but no one on board seemed to have noticed it.

He should probably go. It’s the safest under the sea. The sky couldn’t hurt a hair of his. But then he heard your screams of commands, and suddenly he was a brave knight willing to give up his life for the princette.

You weren’t on the ship when he neared. Instead, you were already secured on a piece of log, as well as the other men. He exhaled a relieved sigh, but it didn’t last as he heard cries from the ship.

“Ah! Get away you nasty fire- help!” cried a high-pitched voice.

“Oh no, Grim!” you gasped. Without a second thought, you let loose of the log and rushed towards the burning ship. The broken ship gave you better access as you hopped on, but the moment you’d secured your familiar, the ship roared and you tripped and fell.

“Look out!” Azul yelled out futilely. The ship ran straight into the rock and BOOM, everything was set ablaze. Azul dodged between dropping debrises mindlessly as he roamed around in search of you.

When nothing was found above, he dived back into the water and there you were - sinking into the water, growing darker and darker by second. He was next to you in a blink - thanks to his fast-moving tentacles.

Your group had already gone out of sight when he emerged again, but to his best luck there was a piece of land just near, and he raced there like he was going to lose his own life if he was too late. It was only when you were pulled up on the dryland that he could soothe his pounding heartbeat.

He was bewildered at the fact that he could breathe on land just as well as he did under water. Aside from the sand that had started sticking to his tentacles the moment they touched, nothing seemed to be out of place.

“Hey,” he’d never rescued a drowning human before. He didn’t even know what drowning was.

“Are you dead?” he slapped your cheek lightly. Your chest didn’t seem to be heaving, and your lips were as pale as snow.

“Hey-”

“Blergh!” Your head jerked up and suddenly you were coughing up water. Azul squeaked before scurrying over to hide behind a rock.

Your head was drooping back and forth as you held yourself up with wobbly arms. Then you started turning around and locked eyes with Azul’s as he peeked out tentatively.

Oh, it’s bad. This is very bad.

“Who-” you started to stand, and at the same time Azul began to reach for the water stealthily so you wouldn’t notice. He knew he’d be screwed if he was spotted.

“Y/N!” someone cried from far away, and you turned to look. The split second was just enough for him to crawl back into the water and out of sight.

The water washed the sand off him quickly, erasing all the evidence that he’d been out there violating one of the strictest rules under the sea, but despite all, he found himself already missing the crisp air above.

If any, he’d grown more fond of the unknown world that you lived in.

#twst x reader #twisted wonderland imagines #azul ashengrotto x reader #twst #twisted wonderland #sie writes

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swtorpadawan · 4 years

Note

For 50 types of kisses. With my favorite swtor couple, Corellan and Kira.

Lets do 7 and 12

Kira Carsen hopped down from the Alliance shuttle and onto the pad of the hangar on Odessen as it landed, feeling elated. She’d been gone for a week while on Tatooine; one of the hottest, driest, most unpleasant planets in the galaxy. She’d spent most of that time fighting rakghouls, nightmare creatures born out of Sith alchemy, and managing a team of individuals with a rather “diverse” mix of personalities and ambitions, as well as coordinating with the independent THORN agency (The Hyland Organization for Rakghoul Neutralization, what a dumb acronym.) all to bring the Rakghoul outbreak on Tatooine under control.

For those reasons alone, she had good reason to be pleased to be back on Odessen, a place that – in just the two months since her rescue from carbonite – had become like home. This mission had been the longest she’d been separated from Corellan Halcyon since she’d joined, and that was an even more important reason to her.

But to her own surprise, there was another reason why she was truly in such a happy mood:

Her mission had been a success.

Her mission. She’d been team leader for this one. She wasn’t playing second-fiddle to anyone.

And she’d found – over the course of the week – that she had a knack for it. She’d learned to appreciate the crew of Alliance personnel she’d been assigned. Blizz – the Jawa mechanic, a native of Tatooine – had been incredibly resourceful, and was adorable, besides. "Deadeye" Leyta, the Selonian gunslinger, had a ruthless streak, but Kira could relate to her desire to protect the people she cared about. HK-51 – the same hunter-killer droid who’d joined their crew on select operations years before – was still a sociopath, but his sense of humor was starting to grow on her. Doctor Lokin – the former Imperial scientist and expert on the Rakghouls – was as tricky as Corellan had (privately) warned her. But he was also as brilliant as Corellan had said, and in just a few days – using only the gear from his field kit – he had successfully adapted an effective vaccine to this new ‘Tatooine strain’ of the Rakghoul plague, as Lokin himself had dubbed it. THORN was already distributing synthesized versions of Lokin’s vaccine and achieved containment.

Xalek… was Xalek. The Kaleesh Sith was arguably the bluntest individual she’d ever met. Even the other Sith in the Alliance didn’t seem to care for him. But she had to admit, he was (almost) as good with a double-bladed lightsaber as Kira herself was, and he followed orders when told to protect their support teams.

She wondered for a moment if this was how Corellan had felt. First with his old crew, and now with the whole Alliance. It had worked out. And the mission had given her a greater appreciation for what the Eternal Alliance truly stood for.

The whole experience had given her a greater sense of belonging.

Kira looked around the hangar, somewhat disappointed that there was no one there to greet her. The flight deck officer gave her a casual smile and a nod, then proceeded to take stock of the shuttle’s condition and fueling levels. A few other individuals around the hangar tossed glances her way, exchanging a whispered word to their fellows.

She felt much more confident about that sort of thing now than she had a week ago.

(Kira didn’t want to admit that she was a little disappointed that he wasn’t there to greet her. Corellan Halcyon had a whole Alliance to run, after all. He couldn’t afford to be seen running off every time the love of his life came back from a mission. But she was certain he was on-planet nearby; she could feel him through the Force.)

Behind her, the rest of the team – her team started to walk down the shuttle’s loading ramp.

Doctor Lokin already had his datapad out, preparing a report as he walked. The scientist had seemed quite pleased with their results. Leyta – who had been piloting the ship – was assisting the flight deck officer with checking in their shuttle. Xalek and HK were making themselves useful, carrying a crate of Lokin’s equipment and genetic samples to the labs. Blizz sauntered past Kira with backpack full of used THORN equipment he’d recovered that he seemed certain he could do something with. The small creature looked up at Kira, happily.

“Blizz thank red-haired big boss friend lady for taking Blizz on trip!” He chirped up at her in Jawaese Trade Language. “Blizz enjoy seeing old home – but good to be back on new home!”

Kira smirked at his excitement.

“Don’t mention it, Blizz. I hope we work together again soon.”

“Blizz hope so, too!” he gave her a wave, then walked off with his catch. No doubt he was headed for his work bench at the Underworld Logistics section of the base. The Jawa had proven an impressive tinkerer, so maybe his side project would result in something after all.

As Xalek and HK hauled their cargo off, Lokin paused in his deliberations to regard Kira. The older man’s smile was somehow grandfatherly, charming, and creepy all at the same time. As Corellan had confided to her privately, he was someone to watch closely.

“I must echo our small companion’s sentiments, Knight Carsen.” He bowed to her. Lokin had taken to addressing her by her old title, even though Kira wasn’t even sure if she qualified as a Jedi anymore. “This has been a most efficacious expedition, and I must commend your leadership and skill. I do hope we are assigned to another operation soon.”

Kira found – much to her surprise – that her smile back to Eckard Lokin was genuine, and not forced like it had been earlier in the week.

“Thank you, Doctor.” She kept her tone and choice of words formal. “Your work was as impressive as advertised. I would certainly ask to work with you again.”

“I am quite gratified to hear that.” Lokin’s smile turned into a toothy grin for just a second.

Yeah. He could be creepy. Kira thought to herself. She wondered how much of his behavior was intentional, and how much of it was just his nature.

“I’ll get started on my follow-up research right away.” He continued. “I would be elated if you could please inform the command staff that my preliminary findings will be submitted for review by oh-nine-hundred hours tomorrow morning.”

“No problem.” She nodded, holding his gaze firmly. “I look forward to… reviewing your work, myself.”

“Of course.” Lokin bowed again. “I’ll leave you to your own reports. Congratulations once again.”

With that, he turned and departed, no doubt heading for his laboratory.

Kira exhaled, relieved that she’d held up so well. She’d learned she could deal with the Doctor Lokins of the galaxy.

(Truth be told, she’d never met anyone quite like Doctor Lokin. But that was a problem for another day.)

For now, she had a report to make in the command center. Corellan – along with his advisors – was probably waiting for her there.

Satisfied that Leyta and the support staff had everything else taken care of, Kira headed for the corridor that would lead her to the war room, briefly mulling hitting the showers first. She’d been on Tatooine for a week, a planet where water was a luxury, spending almost half of her time in the Rakghoul tunnels. The brief sonic shower she’d taken at Anchorhead was the most hygienic relief she’d had in that time. Followed up with the day’s travel in the rather cramped shuttle, Kira suspected she could certainly have used the genuine experience of the shower in the quarters she shared with Corellan. It was a tempting prospect. But the Alliance had a reputation for being a ‘rough’ bunch. If she dallied, people – particularly Lana Beniko – might suspect she was trading on her relationship with the Commander, and that was something Kira would never allow.

The Commander. Still strange to think about Corellan that way, even if the role did suit him. He was good at it; the loyalty he commanded from his people was proof of that.

Kira was so distracted by her inner thoughts that she was taken completely unawares when a strong hand reached out seemingly from nowhere, grabbed her by the shoulder, and yanked her into a darkened maintenance closet where the door promptly slammed shut behind her.

Every instinct in Kira’s mind screamed at her to respond to this obvious attack with aggression in kind; to pull her lightsaber from her belt and lash out with the Force at her assailant.

But the Force, her soul – and her heart – all told her to do otherwise.

Kira stifled a gasp as Corellan Halcyon pulled her in for a deep, passionate kiss, pinning her against the sealed metal door. Instinctively, her arms wrapped around his shoulders as her lips tried to reciprocate the affection, only to feel his tongue assert itself possessively, slipping deep into her mouth and tracing her teeth, as if trying to memorize them. Kira released a slow, needing moan as their lips continued to press together for minutes on end. He so rarely took control like this. And the kiss… shavit. She couldn’t remember him kissing her quite like this since that night on Tython so many years ago, when kissing had been fun and mysterious and the ultimate. When the only thing either of them had wanted was to explore and then get lost in each other.

For a few fleeting moments, she almost felt overwhelmed by the sensation pulsing through her mind and body. It was like he was devouring her essence; her very sense of identity. And all she could do in that instant was to moan softly again in contentment.

But no. He would never do that to her. Even for as long as he’d been forced to deal with Vitiate haunting him, he would never become anything like him.

After what felt like an eternity – but still nowhere long enough to satisfy Kira’s sudden want – he released her from the kiss. She caught her breath, feeling like she’d been holding her breath underwater. Even after all that, he didn’t pull back completely, instead letting his forehead press down against hers, her back still against the door. Their breaths were heavy, even as they began synchronizing with each other.

“I missed you.” He whispered.

In the minimal lighting, she could barely make out his boyish grin.

Kira actually giggled in embarrassment, pressing her hands against his chest. Corellan was the only one who could make her feel girly like this.

But despite that, she was still herself. She was truly part of something special rather than being subsumed by something that wanted to dominate and destroy her. Those fears she’d had as a child on Korriban could not be further from her mind.

Kira trusted him completely.

“I can tell.” She grinned up at him, eyes sparkling in the dark.

Corellan reached up, gently caressing her cheek as she closed her eyes at his touch.

“I read the preliminary reports.” He whispered. “We’ll do the debriefing with Lana and Theron in just a bit. But I just wanted to welcome you home. And to tell you how proud I am of you.”

Kira chuckled as she cast her eyes downward, relieved that in the dark he probably couldn’t see her blush.

Then again, with their Force bond, she doubted she could fool him.

She’d realized instinctively that he’d used his Force camouflage ability just to surprise her in the corridor just now. It was the first time he’d done something like that since they’d been reunited. And he’d planned it perfectly; no one had seen him grab her in the corridor, which meant there’d be less tongue-wagging and gossip from the rank and file. He’d given her the ‘welcome home’ they’d both wanted without doing anything to undermine her position in the Alliance.

It had been perfect.

On the other hand, her competitive streak was pushing her to… assert herself just a bit.

Just because she’d found her place with the Alliance – and with him – didn’t mean she’d stop being herself.

“Tell me tough guy.” She grinned up at him saucily, reaching down and grabbing him by his belt. “Exactly how long do we have before that debriefing?”

________________________________________________________________

Author’s Notes: Something I really liked about the Echoes of Oblivion story was there were multiple moments in the story where Kira clearly takes the lead, even in the presence of characters like Scourge and Senya who are far more experienced, and the Outlander, who is theoretically the most accomplished warrior in the galaxy regardless of the other variables. She’s the one who comes up with the plan to find the ship. She’s the one who leads the group in the process of ‘Let’s meditate and go into Satele’s mind so we can fight the Emperor’. And so on. It all highlights Kira’s character development; she’s always been driven and now she’s coming into her own as a leader. Even though I don’t plan on taking my fic into that specific story, I did want to capture a measure of that.

I had another piece of fic planned regarding this mission to Tatooine I’ve alluded to, but I like this, too.

I really like the character of Doctor Lokin. I wish he had more content. The others just seemed to be an interesting mix to me.

Full disclosure - I borrowed some stuff about the kiss from an old John Grisham novel; just a line that always stuck with me.

Roping in the Rakghoul even and THORN just seemed natural. I like to world build in my stories.

Tagging interested parties - @legacyofabsolutewalnuts , @misthios00 , @raven-of-domain-kwaad , @no-name16-21 , @a-muirehen and @jagger127 !

#swtor #swtor fanfiction #oc: corellan halcyon #swtorpadawan asks #50 Types of Kisses - Writing Prompts

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