#why is is that its only fine for me to have the disability resources if im visibly disabled.

[transgaysex]

also whats a guy gotta do for people to stop asking me why i have the code to the elevators meant for personnel and disabled students to use. like why is it that twice now staff from the college ask me "Umm why do you have the code to the elevator?" buddy if im not also staff then ill give you one fucking guess.

[artemx746]

(Just copying this from my frustrated-with-the-pjo-fandom induced ramblings on the ta server + al lot more more shit than I expected to write)

I think the main pjo fandom has such a misunderstanding of why Alison might be bad for the show

It's not because she's a new character, I honestly think a new character could be good for the show, but it's because the pjo show team has already shown a fundamental misunderstanding of what pjato should be at its core (that being disability). Alison will most likely only prove what we already knew: that being the show not actually knowing what to do with pjo

Gonna be straight up here, I don't think any of these arguments against Alison are really about the fact she's a new character, season one had plenty of changes that a lot of people were fine with despite them not really making sense (why was Annabeth there for Luke's betrayal). They're because she's a new ta character and that'll either lead to the fandom confronting the fact that they've had a bias against the ta characters for literally no reason (Percy destroyed a bridge and blew up a boat, chb also had child soldiers) or their deep rooted sexism against barely morally gray women without stripping them of their agency.* The only fear I kinda get is that Alison will end up replacing one of the ta characters but unless you're a diehard Kelli fan I don't think there's really much to worry about, I'm not saying she'll replace Kelli as a Luke love interest but rather an 'evil bossy woman' type so they don't need to animate Kelli's hair.

The only thing I'm worried about is the lack of disability. I've rambled about this before on the ta server** but Alison is most likely going to be a child of a minor god, and while I do want more minor god kids, the minor god's kids represent a very important part of the disability metaphor, that being disability hierarchies specifically being detrimental against people with physical disabilities and people with stigmatised mental illnesses (npd bpd schizophrenia etc) . Alison has an open casting, and while that would usually be fine for any other character I doubt they'll cast someone with a physical disability and I highly doubt they'll cast someone with a stigmatised mental illness. So you either have: an abled bodied person acting like they have a disability OR a ruined metaphor and Ethan's eye was lost for nothing.

Ta server ramblings under the cut

*Me: considering how this fandom treats women I do not wanna see them if Alison is in the book. They can't handle Silena without stripping her down to "UwU poor manipulated girl" I do not wanna see them with Alison

making it out that Silena was just in love with Luke and he manipulated her is a) reaffirming the sexist stuff about aphrodite kids and b) robs Silena of her agency to make decisions that she ends up regretting

**Me: Honestly hate when people act like it was just Percy who got the minor gods cabins, buddy did the metaphor go over your That Much. The reason it had to be Percy was because he represents people who already have resources speaking out for those who don’t because they’re more respected. That applies to both Percy and Luke. Percy was not the reason for it it was Ethan,

There is a Reason why Ethan was the first named demigod child of a minor god and he had a physical disability, it has a mythic reason like all of the others but it is still a disability. Ethan represents the metaphor in the minor god demis, that being hierarchies in disabled communities

(this is another reason why I'm scared for Alison in s2 because she's probably going to be a child of a minor god)

what I'm really worried about is they either: make Alison physically disabled and kill her off (killing off all* your physically disabled characters rick how fun)

OR

make her able bodied and the metaphor is lost unless they explicitly say she has another stigmatised mental disability which they will not

*I don't count the kid from toa since he's a background character mentoned once and hephaestus was pretty much disabled in the myths so not rick's

okay end of ramblings jesus christ

[infamousbrad]

I don't often get C-PTSD flashbacks from reading ProPublica news articles. I'm going to have to spend some time breathing deliberately and/or take a sleeping pill and go back to bed.

I'm autistic. Job hunting was hell for me at the best of times because I've never met a Human Resources employee who wasn't bigoted against the mentally ill. "You're perfectly qualified for the job, but I just don't think you'd be a good fit." So every job hunt I've ever had, even in boom times, has taken me a year or more to find someone who knew me, personally or professionally from a previous job, who had an opening and could pull rank on H.R. to get me in. And every job ended the same way: I got transferred to a disability-hostile manager ("it's not fair to everyone else if I treat you differently") and almost immediately fired. So threatening to fire me is only one step down from threatening to try to kill me.

And I've been threatened with being fired way more times than I've actually been fired. I'm a naturally scrupulous person, especially when safety issues are involved because I can't not worry, but also I know I'm really bad at telling when the people around me think the rules matter and when they don't (and worse at caring about their feelings about it being okay to break the rules this time). And I have long-since lost track of how many times I've been confronted with the choice:

Either commit a crime that puts people in danger ...

Or else we'll fire you, and you'll have to explain to every human resources department you apply at that you were fired for disobeying an order.

God, I hate this species. "I don't care if it's unsafe or illegal, I need it done." "Everybody cheats, if you don't cheat you can't make money." "We've gotten away with it before, it'll be fine." And "if other people die, they die; it's more important to get the job done." Fuck fuck fuck, I hate it. 'Cause it's real cheap of them to say when they're not going to be the one who gets hurt, isn't it? It's not like their families are going to get killed when (not if) a train derails, so who cares?

Some outlet I read (I think it was the WaPo?) did a long series about whistleblowing a little while back and concluded that most of us won't even say we want more whistleblowers, and most of the people who say they do don't mean it, certainly not when it comes to their own misdeeds. In one of the articles in the series, they cited moral foundations theory and suggested that that's because almost half of us rank "loyalty" above most or all other virtues. As in yes honesty and safety are virtues, but loyalty to your employer, your team, whatever is a more important virtue.

Fuck that. If I've let myself get peer pressured or tricked or bullied into doing something (or worse, ordering something) illegal and unsafe, I want subordinates who'll call me on my bullshit, hold me accountable. I need backup, everybody needs backup! Retaliate against whistleblowers? Fuck that noise; if I were in a position to hire, I'd offer extra to hire people who'd blown the whistle on misconduct to the point where they got fired for it -- I may not be able to trust them to "have my back" (which I don't even want when I'm in the wrong!) but I can trust them to tell the truth and protect others.

Obviously this means I've never worked in H.R. And it probably overlaps heavily with why my last real, professional employer finally told me I'd never make management. And shortly thereafter fired me. In a straight-up case of whistleblower retaliation. And then went so far as to lie to every potential employer I applied to that I was fired for "making terroristic threats," a straight-up frame-up that guaranteed that I'd never work in my industry again.

[writingwife-83]

Hi,

You know what, I don't think I've seen people discussing Mycroft's admission that the Holmes children had their abilities tested.

Who were these people and what was their aim?

How did they find out about the Holmes children? And what were they testing, exactly? Intelligence? Intuition?

And in a way it almost implies that their powers of deduction are not so much skills perfected over a lifetime, but an innate ability they were born with.

It makes me wonder if Mark Gatiss/Stephen Moffat intended it as just as a little bit of fun to get fans, a little teasing hint that the Holmes are psychic. For a time they were at the heart of Doctor Who, and Gatiss has a passion for ghost stories and such, so it seems like something they would enjoy thinking about.

And, having seen the Jeremy Brett series, it would also a be small nod to that. In the later episodes of Brett's run the writing sometimes became a little odd, with talks of "third eyes" and visions of the future. Not unlike Eurus, maybe?

Do you have any thoughts on this?

Thanks

This is an interesting question, and I definitely have opinions. (This gets long 😅) I have to start by saying though, that I cannot for the life of me find the actual quote where Mycroft says that about all of them having their abilities tested as children. I would have liked to see the exact wording and context of the line, but I’ll still do my best.

Being a parent, specifically of a special needs son, Mycroft saying that doesn’t really make me blink. Evaluations of children are done all the time, for lots of reasons. It could be due to a learning disability, behavior problems, emotional issues, etc. But it’s easy to imagine their children also being evaluated simply for being very obviously advanced. The full scope of an evaluation includes general intelligence and cognitive ability, but also would include a psychological evaluation. It’s super easy to imagine the Holmes kids having that done, either because their parents requested it or because the school system recommended it. So in a way I’d say that was an incredibly realistic thing for Mycroft to say. And I’m guessing that was right before he said that Eurus was found to be a genius, beyond Newton. Which, again, makes the whole thing make sense.

So all of that is the reasoning for me saying, I definitely don’t think that statement was indicating anything in the realm of supernatural abilities in the Holmes kids. But in addition to me feeling pretty strongly that Mofftiss wasn’t hinting at anything like that, for me personally, I would just hate for that to be canon.

I love me some superheroes and characters who have superhuman abilities and stuff. That has its place and it’s fun! But imo there’s so much of that. Which is what makes the “normal” humans who have amazing abilities more special. Batman, for instance. One of the biggest reasons I love Batman is that he has no physical special abilities! No super strength or speed or mind control or whatever. Yes he has loads of money lol, but he’s smart. So he uses his intelligence and resources and drive to work for him. If anyone ever made a version of Batman where he is superhuman in some way, I’d hate that. (Which is exactly why I hated the live action remake of Mulan. They took a regular young woman who did something incredibly brave and self sacrificing and very easily could have been killed, and turned her into someone who went to war with special powers?? Thanks for killing the most meaningful part of the story lol.)

Sherlock, Mycroft, and Eurus are incredibly unique and special. And I do agree with you that partly that is something they were born with. Genetics are wild lol. But to me, what’s truly special about them is that they’re not superhuman. They took gifts they were born with and as they grew they fine tuned them into something that most people could barely comprehend. It’s almost unbelievable… but not quite. They’re still only human and it’s still just the amazing human mind at work. And I absolutely love that. 👌☺️

[pinkanonwrites]

this isnt me requesting a fic or drabble or anything, and i do NOT mean to sound critical/mean in any way of how youve written Vash, but i think you have an interesting oppurtunity to have Reader find out >> call out Vash on sleeping with his prosthetic on

admittingly, ive never watched any form of Trigun (i only know some things via Pop Culture Osmosis). i just like your romance writing; you are very good at polishing your craftsmanship, it's, again, very good. so ill read whatever (so long as i.. vaguely recognize the property at least). so i dont know if Vash cannonically sleeps with his prosthetic on-- but as a disabled person who has friends with missing limbs, even if the creator of Trigun hypothetically says it's fine that Vash sleeps with it: no, it's not. not in real life. it can cause injuries to the limb and the stump needs to de-stress. that's how real life prosthetics work (and, off-topic, is a detail i really like about Full-Metal Alchemist! they talk about this and show it! a lot! (maybe Trigun does too, idk, again, i havent seen it))

but yeah! idk if sleeping with prosthetics is something canonical to Trigun or if it is something you accidentally assumed (no hard feelings there either way, lots of disabled media accidentally protrays this. Hiccup in How To Train Your Dragon and Finn in Adventure Time are both widely beloved disabled representations and also their creators fuck up sometimes and have them sleep with their prosthetics on. it happens. you live and you learn). if youd like to learn more, there's a youtube channel called Oakwyrm where disabled representation is the main point of discussion (fun fact: they even have a video analyzing the disabled representation in a Barbie fairy movie, that's fun lmao). i would link you the specific videoes id recommend you watch, but tumblr doesnt like anons sending links, so i just recommend checking out their channel (again: they have videos on Hiccup of How To Train Your Dragon, Finn of Adventure Time, and Edward of Full-Metal Alchemist. so there are a variety of resources on their channel about how prosthetics are handled in media. all three of these videos are typically pretty short and fairly succinct. i recommend watching all three and any other video topic of Oakwyrm's that catches your fancy, but im not gonna push you to watch something you dont wanna watch lmao) just wanted to give you that as a good opening point for resource about disability

i do think you having written the Reader seeing Vash sleep with his prosthetic on gives you a unique opportunity tho! (again, this isnt a Request. i know those are closed. its more of an "i dont want you to feel bad and i also dont want you to panic and take down those fics or anything, here's a helpful reminder that theres Other Options and you can use this as a jumping off point for future fic ideas or you can ignore this idea and just Write Prosthetics Differently In The Future", i dunno, its your blog, your writing, im not in charge lmao) you now have a history of the Reader knowing he sleeps with it on and can now potentially write a fic about why him doing that would make sense from a character stand-point. like why isnt he taking care of himself? why is he risking ruining that prosthetic or hurting his stump? does he not typically feel safe enough to be that vulnerable or is it a self-image thing or, or, or...? like, there is oppurtunity there. and it does make sense in some of your fics why he wouldnt-- the sick-fic you wrote recently is one of my favorite of yours ever, and it makes complete sense that Vash wouldn't go the extra step of taking off his prosthetic if there was a chance he'd need to use that arm to help take care of the Reader or if it's over-use is part of the reason why maybe his body runs as warm as it does. its just some spaghetti to throw at the wall, y'know, see if it sticks, scrap it and cook something else up if it doesn't. i dont want you to think im entitled or anything, again, this isnt a request at all. just some proverbial spaghetti to throw, you can feel free to respond via scrapping my pitch and doing your own thing reactive to this correction on how living with prosthetics works. maybe Reader is a techie who Vash visits to fix his prosthetic. i dunno if that's a role already taken in the canon of the show/manga. but hey, whatever you wanna do now that you know one shouldnt sleep with their prosthetic on and have a starting point with research, im sure ill be all for ♡ do whatever you want, its your blog ♡♡♡

but yEAH, ive encountered enough Squirrelly Writers who panic at any sign of innacuracy or problematic aspects in their hard-work where i think me being on the back-foot and going "you do NOT have to delete everything you wrote that is inaccurate to real experiences with prosthetics" makes sense. so i do want to reiterate that: you do NOT have to do that (and, ngl to you, fam, i would feel really bad if you did; i really like your work with Vash, like i said, the sick-fic specifically is one of my favorite fics by anybody that ive read in a while, that shit will be sticking around my noggin). i just wanted to reiterate that. i dont think you are a bad person or that this is immoral or anything. i think its a common mistake and, ill admit, i know squat about that other cgi show you watch with another prosthetic-user, but i noticed this was recurring with Vash, so i thought id gently mention it since i know it is a common mistake people make without, y'know, realizing its a mistake. and if Trigun shows Vash cannonically sleeping with his prosthetic, shame on them, that really sucks, they should do better by him and their disabled audience. but you?? you're just one person writing romance for fun. youre not a corporation with editors who should know to research this stuff before publishing. (or, who knows, maybe Trigun does show Vash taking his prosthetic off before sleeping, i dunno, im a casual fan of YOUR work, i dont know anything about Trigun beyond what i vaguely absorbed via Pop Culture Osmosis due to having been in the anime and sci-fo community in the past. i have no idea if they do or dont do their research. they should. but i certainly dont know if they do or not)

so yeah. just wanted to put that out there so Now You Know and the ball is now in your court as towards what to do with that information now that you have it. im sure ill love whatever you do with it, again, big fan of what you make as is already ♡ lots of love to you and yours, have a good day!!

(scooping up your proverbial spaghetti into a pot for later use in fanfic inspiration)

Thank you so much for all of your kind words! As for Trigun, as much as I love it, it's not the most realistic when it comes to the actual drawbacks and difficulties of having a prosthetic limb. It could be because it's a futuristic sci-fi piece, or the writers just don't want to get into it, or they just didn't know much about actual prosthetic management, but Vash doesn't really make a point to remove his prosthetic intentionally all that often. They've shown him sleeping in it before, and as far as I can remember in the OG anime the only time he didn't have it was when he was switching to a new model of arm.

There could be canonical reasons for that! It could be because of his vague inhuman-ness, or because he's self punishing, or any number of reasons we could interpolate from the OG mediums that they don't succinctly spell out for us. But reasons aside, the realities of using/wearing a prosthetic limb would make very interesting fic writing details, and I'd definitely like to dig into it a bit more in the future.

This ask actually comes at the perfect time, because as I've been working on my Twitch Streamer Trigun AU I've been doing some research on the realities of being a competitive (or even casual) video game player while being physically disabled. I've been doing a lot of thinking and researching on how people with only one arm actually play video games and custom controllers and set-ups and stuff, so while I may or may not go into it in super serious detail in the future I'm definitely going to at least touch on it more than once!

And last but not least, thank you for being so kind and respectful about commenting! I'm more than willing to admit that if I'm broaching a subject I'm not the most versed in I may make a mistake or two, and I'm alright with that! A long time ago I wrote a Stardew Valley fic and mistranslated some sign language, and like you I had a very kind and friendly reader point out my goof-up in a way that didn't mock me or make me feel stupid. I don't mind being corrected at all, as long as people are being nice about it. I'm only human too, afterall.

Anyway, TLDR; Thanks for being so nice, I'd love to write more about Vash's prosthetic in the future <3

[horce-divorce]

Something very intriguing about the intersection of individualism and personal responsibility vs learned helplessness vs the complete and utter lack of care for anyone else in this culture.... Like I have literally seen someone walking around coughing like gollum decrying how RSV is going around and "someone should DO something!!!" and then never wearing a fucking mask. Like??? IF ONLY WE COULD TAKE MATTERS INTO OUR OWN HANDS! the cdc said i didnt have to, though, so im not gonna. But somebody else definitely should, for sure. 🙄

it's entitlement, IMHO, that much seems clear, but like... how lmao. Where does it come from? The "I have to worry about mine so you worry about yours" thing? Like, I'm only personally responsible for myself bc of individualism, so that's true of everyone else, too? Is it the learned helplessness of western capitalism and Christian fundamentalism that has everyone convinced we have to wait for our savior to come, because this world is doomed and fucked and worthless and we can't change anything at all on our own?

Idk if this is making sense, I'm sure someone much smarter than me has already anlaysed this and laid it out much better, like there's probably some well-known essay on this somewhere that I just haven't read yet.

But idk I see this combination often, of "I'm an individual so I don't have to care about anyone else, that's THEIR job," and "help! daddy come save me I can't do anything, I'm not allowed :(" like. Entitlement to do whatever you want but also entitlement to someone else cleaning it up? What???

This may be a weird example to pair with covid safety, but I see this kind of a lot in national parks and on beaches and stuff too. People feel entitled to not follow rules, not educate themselves about where they're fucking about, not to stop and think ONCE that their presence may have an impact on others somehow. they'll like. climb on some ice shelves or get sucked into a rip current or wander off the trail somewhere or feed a bear or something and then be SHOCKED that no one can help them/clean up after their mistakes/fix the situation immediately. Its honestly like they expect customer service? Do they think customer service comes from nature lmao??? like buddy we are in a remote, wild area with very few resources, yes, if you get in trouble it's GONNA take the coast guard a while to get down there, IF they can even find you by then. Where's your sense of personal responsibility and rugged individualism now? It didn't lead you to want to learn, idk, ANYTHING about the place you're visiting/living in????

Idk maybe I'm not connecting these 2 thoughts that well but idk it's like people walk around in literally their own fucking world. Or they act like caring only goes one way, like I get to be an Individualist™️ and only worry about me, but also, everyone else has to worry about themselves AND care about me, also, as well.

Again, it's the entitlement! They're connected, idk, I'm just having a hard time saying it well I think.

Anyway I'm just pissed because I know so many people who claim to be progressive and to give a fuck about disabled and marginalized voices and who claim to be critical of the government, but the SECOND they get the ok to do something HARMFUL, they will JUMP at the chance as long as it's convenient. They won't even stop to think twice about why they're doing it, or the impact their actions could have.

I guess covid is a bit different bc right now the OFFICIAL RULES are to not give a fuck and do whatever you want, I guess. Idk just wild how either the rules are fine, and we should totally follow them! Or otherwise they're stupid rules, and we don't have to follow them! Depends on my mood! Personal responsibility and individualism means I get to decide what's fine for everyone!

I dunno I have Swiss cheese for a brain, because I had a fucking post viral chronic illness for a decade before covid even hit, but somebody back me up here. there's gotta be actual literature about this somewhere.

It's like the idea of individualism and "personal responsibility" abdicates anyone of consequence. Ppl really act like that. Never questioning anything they ever do because mind your own business. But also, everything is terrible, somebody should DO something! Not me, but somebody. But also, everyone should be an individual and only worry about themselves????? Make it make sense

[redneckomancy]

why are you pro AI /gen

Idk who gen is but you can call me Red.

Im not 'for' AI art or "against' AI Art anymore than im 'for' or 'against' cameras or water colors or Photoshop or CGI in movies. And I bring those up specifically because they have all been argued against as the next Death Knell of the True Artist (yes even water colors were killing art and taking away work from True Artists who only used oil paints).

I understand that people do have financial stakes in this and of course everyone wants to be the most performative leftist they can be online but that just flattens the discourse and i hate it. real twitter shit. Any 'solution' to the ai art 'problem' that requires expanding IP law has already failed because guess who has the lawyers and resources to shape IP law (hint: its not your friendly local furry artist).

If you want to save artists jobs and stuff you have to actually like, form unions and agitate for fair pay and throw pipebombs at the hasbro and amazon C-Suite in minecraft, smashing the steam looms didnt save the weavers.

Also as someone who has had to stop doing art becuase of mental and physical disabilities all those posts about "uwu your creativity came free with your humanity" are fucking bullshit. Like really bad dude its very abelist, idc how many paraplegic toddlers holding paint brushes with their teeth they post, it fucking sucks. And no writing and drawing are not fundamentally interchangeable mediums and saying so is even more reductive to art than any shithead techbro has been.

That said i never intentionally reblog AI art or post it or anything because i just don't like it, it makes me physically ill. literally physically ill, not as a quality or moral statement. Literally ill. Something to do with the fine details and how they're always fractalized or something, really puts me off. hope this helps!

[bittwitchy]

Howdy, I'm Sabrina. She/They. Over 25, mentally and physically disabled, tries my best, just wants to enjoy what little life i have.

i like posts so i can either add them to my queue or reblog them later (or on a different account/a sideblog) generally. sometimes i may reblog them multiple times because i forgot to unlike it after adding it to my queue. or it showed up in my for you again after i already reblogged it. it happens.

please only follow me if you are 18 years or older. I'd personally prefer 20+ but 18 is fine i guess lol. I will not review every single thing i say and do or otherwise to play safe for someone underage on my personal space. I will not adjust my content for you. If you are underage, do not follow me, please and thank you.

If you plan on policing what I post, you may also leave. If you're thinking 'oh I don't like xyz this is why i'ma tell you' just block me, don't send me the ask, don't try to get my attention, it's gonna get deleted. I use my own discretion and a whole lot of actual research, not tiktoks, twitter, and easily disprovable opinions to decide if someones trash. i'm autistic its facts or nothing. I do have a don't list, not publicly, but I do have one.

do not follow if you're homophobic, transphobic, biphobic, racist, or otherwise.

Whilst I do post resources here, this is first and foremost my personal blog. Anything I post to my sideblogs (if i actually use my writing or art sideblogs, for example) would be reblogged here too.

REQUESTS ARE CURRENTLY CLOSED. However, if I post gifs of the fcs you want crackships of, you can send me an ask and I may end up doing it. The only reason I don't do requests is because I don't want to have to buy media I don't already own lol. I only go on a computer on days I do not have work, as even if I'm only working 4 hours in a day, I don't have the energy for both.

No you may not ask me what my disabilities or ethnicities are, you weirdo. I will say I'm audhd, if you pay attention to my posts you might be able to figure it out, i've been open about being asian before but i am trying to be less specific now due to how racist people have been getting, and i ain't for that.

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[vtori73]

Saw JJK spoilers &... I REALLY want to read the new chapter now 😭😭😭

I don't mind angst/dark story lines though, so I'm actually looking forward to it but I will say I was/am hoping for a sort of twist ending where things turn out okay with JJK despite how much dark stuff happens BUT I can't say I have high hopes for that currently but regardless I really don't necessarily mind.

Regardless of if things go to shit or turn out okay I would like for the other woman characters to get more limelight before dying (because everyone/main are dying most likely so I don't think killing off the girl/woman characters is necessarily a bad thing but like... give them more screentime especially since there are more male characters so it's little uneven).

__________________

Not 100% related but reminds me of thoughts I had when I saw someone talking about how basically because it's shonen you shouldn't bother with complaining/critiquing about sexism in the medium because it is meant for boys... okay that isn't EXACTLY what they said but it's honestly what it amounts to (or maybe it was basically what they said, Idk, I have one pretty shitty memory).

And it just reminds me of when people have legit criticisms of western cartoons, specifically racism, and people will disregard the criticism because 'its a cartoon, what do expect it for kids it not serious etc," and like.... do y'all not personally care what our kids (I don't have kids, I'm using 'our kids' because regardless of if I or you have kids or not all adults are responsible for children to some capacity because I believe in community & how we are responsible for each other especially marginalized people like disabled ones) are consuming media wise because... that's concerning.

I do get that some people don't believe that media doesn't have any influence on us though & that's honestly fine ur allowed to think whatever BUT regardless you should realize that while that argument does work for adults doesn't work too well with kids whose whole purpose while being kids is to learn as much as they can from the stuff around them because they are new humans who don't know anything that hasn't been taught to them.

Sure you can argue it's the parents job to make sure they are watching the right kind of stuff & I agree to an extent because yes parents should be aware of what their kids watch for various reasons but also should be making sure they arent watching stuff that is not meant for their age BUT that's as far I think it should go because once you start controlling EVERY SINGLE THING your kid can watch, read, etc it starts to feel to them less like your protecting them and more like you don't trust them & want complete control over their lives (which I the case for some parents honestly, many people see their children as things/objects and no as individual humans).

Now yes, it is the parents job to make sure their kids don't get the wrong ideas & speak with them about what they read, watch, etc BUT that's putting a lot of responsibility on just what is normal 1-2 people. Which is why I said this is a community problem, not just a parent one because they aren't magically able to know everything about their kid & honestly they probably shouldn't because kids should be entitled to privacy just like adults are.

And also not to mention not all adults have the time or resources to be able to discuss with their kids about the media they are consuming all the time or at all such as poor and/or disabled parents/guardians and NO the solution to that is not 'poor/disabled shouldn't have kids" because thats just eugenics and you should feel bad for thinking only rich people are allowed to have children.

So besides just talking with kids about what they consume media wise I think what is also very important to this topic is that we SHOULD be encouraging critique of what is being made, advertised, marketed towards children so that this stuff CAN improve & so that regardless of who the kid and their background they aren't continued being spoon fed shitty regressive ideas unchallenged.

Also also reminds me of some people claiming ANYONE who feigns concern for media targeted to kids is just fox news/republicans who just hate gay people & yeah they do use the argument of concern for kids A LOT as an excuse for bigotry BUT can we admit it's a faux concern? Like can we TRY to learn there is a difference between faux and real genuine concern and learn to spot it because it REALLY isn't that hard, tbh.

[splathousefiction]

Radical

I’ve spent weeks researching it.

I watched countless people beat it with clubs, with police batons. I watched someone unload buckshot on it. Hilariously enough, it took the first shot well. The subsequent shots finally cracked it true, and obliterated it. Edged weapons and blunt objects however? No, it went right on working just fine with a few more scuffs. By the third week, I’d placed my order for Cold Steel’s Soldier’s Targe. A shield big enough to cover my chest, strong enough to take a blow. Something I could maneuver with. Something I could cover myself, my friends with.

Because the protests out there are getting fucking bloody. There’s no “nice” way to put that. People are getting beaten to death either by the nazis or the cops. Having a shield is yet another safety measure alongside black bloc, safety goggles, and means with which to cease the outpouring of teargas canisters. All things I never would have considered as little as two years ago.

The fact I would ever have to physically, perhaps violently, debate my right to exist was something in the back of my head, under a thick blanket of ignorance. “Oh, that’ll never happen,” I said, “We’d never have nazis marching in the streets. I and my friends are going to be completely fine”.

I was a fucking fool. All of us, including you, were. Because the nazis marched and then the people in my community started winding up dead, harassed into suicide, forced to flee the country for places only marginally safer than the US. The nazis and the white supremacists came, armed with the backing and support of law enforcement and the federal government. It all happened as a silent majority-people who swore they were cis-het allies to the queer community-stood by and watched.

You, the people who told us you loved the gays, that you had our backs, that we were all “good ones” who deserved happiness, were idle as you watched white supremacists kill us. In night clubs. In schools. In the street. You did nothing as they came for us because we weren’t you. No, we weren’t white enough or straight enough. Some of us were disabled. Some of us were sex workers.

That’s just a thing that happens to our kind, doesn’t it? An unfortunate part of our community that we need to look after. So long as it’s not in your fucking suburbs, you don’t care. You stay quiet. Maybe if you’re feeling particularly spicy, you’ll quote inaccurate crime statistics.

You watch the news and pretend everything will be okay because it’s not you.

As I sit writing this, I’ve told no less than three or four of my friends how to get a concealed carry permit. I’ve been openly conversing with my SW associates on how best to keep ourselves fed, how to keep ourselves employed. I’ve got to hear my BIPOC and disabled friends sigh, almost giving up against an insurmountable death machine that feasts upon them on the daily.

We’re all disposable to you under the guise of “god and country”, the good ol’ red, white and blue. Because we’re not you.

So, I’m here to tell you that you’re wrong. You’re absolutely one of us. One day your turn will come, and if you earnestly believe for even a moment that separating yourselves from the communities with bullseyes on them will save you, you’re just as ignorant as I was. The powers that be-white supremacists, cops, evangelicals and more-will kill you quick or slow. The time it takes matters not-fascism is patient. Fascism has unlimited resources. Soon enough, simply not being openly fascist will be all it takes to shove you to the ground, to restrain you, to tear you limb from limb in front of your family, your friends.

They’ll be next as well.

You’re wrong.

But you don’t even know why you’re wrong. You’ve done literally nothing, so how could you possibly be at fault? Right?

Oh, let me count the ways.

A Pus Filled Throat Wailing For Blood

Capitalism is a hideous machine that runs by cannibalizing marginalized communities. Its communion is a holy one, powered by tax shelters with crosses on the roof and people who hold absolutely zero qualms about openly embracing fascist ideology. Its maw widens like the fabled whale of Ahab’s hunt, and in a blink your neighbors are gone. Your queer kids and siblings are gone. It takes respite from its feast to vomit dollars at you, then goes right back to ripping the flesh of everyone and everything you love from the bone.

At the time of this writing, we cannot escape capitalism in the west. We can merely engage with it in a way that preferably has us wading through the least amount of blood. We do this by building communities (professional and otherwise), strengthening and safeguarding our connections in those communities, then perpetuating our communities by engaging the market on our preferred terms. Sometimes we succeed. Sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we just rejoin that beast, perpetuating human suffering by telling ourselves “at least it’s not us”.

The means with which we minimize that suffering are based within who and what our communities serve,  the power and financial disparity our communities have compared to others, and how best to elevate those to (at least) a position within which capitalism might deem us worthy of human rights.

It’s not easy.

The beast’s blessing doesn’t favor moral people. It doesn’t favor the kind, the meek, the empathetic or the sincere.

No, capitalism is a lapdog of oppression. As such, it will always ensure those who don’t fit the ideal of either consumer or worker become enslaved and broken within countless snares.You wake one morning and you can’t buy queer content because it’s a “morally unfit lifestyle” for payment processors. Processors who are pressured by hardline evangelicals like Exodus Cry. You can’t get paid for sex work for the same reason. All this and more gets told to you with a gore soaked pat on the back.

It’s for your own good, the beast barks, surely you understand?

Your community, this thing you’ve worked so incredibly hard to create, protect and perpetuate is light work to this hideous thing. It’s grown even easier to execute us via content catering algorithms, rituals that would sound arcane if you tried to explain them to a lay person.

But for you, I’ll try.

Algorithms focus on content that is a sure shot to ad revenue generation and profit for creators. Click a video about cats on Youtube, and more will show up in your suggested feed. What should be a morally neutral means of encouraging consumption becomes innately corrupted by its own drive. IE, algorithms across the web will show suggested content that is generating the most traffic/profit, which is often simply extremely similar content. Where this takes an insidious turn is via misinformation and outright propaganda. Seeing a critique video on a political figure will lead to speeches they’ve made, events they’ve attended, transcripts of their thoughts and much more. All for the low, low cost of your time and money.

Meaning, algorithms are a never ending game of “telephone” taking place in the deepest rabbit hole you never intended to trip into. Algorithms can build an entire subculture, lead to real world violence and destroy entire existences overnight. The utilization of them in the 21st century to oppress, harm, silence and kill marginalized communities at an unprecedented speed is a fascists/capitalists wet dream. No longer do you have to have an army. You can simply pay the right influencer, who via decentralization and virulent ignorance on the part of their audience will do all the work for you. It’s the war machines of the reich and Henry Kissenger’s darkest desire made manifest.

There’s a straight throughline between capitalist conquests and what we in the sex work community experience via deplatforming, harassment and destruction. There’s a direct pipeline between the puritans taking their first step in the new world, and the pressure placed upon payment processors to obliterate our industry by denying us a chance to eat, to live, to work.

It’s the overwhelming and obvious fact that we, by majority, are BIPOC, disabled and queer. Our multicolored flag offends the sensibilities of our oppressors for not being red, white and blue enough. For not engaging within the market via the “traditional” and expected means, and instead choosing to pursue our worth via jobs and lives that bring us joy.

That pursuit picked up exponentially during the plague, something capitalism and evangelicals tried hard to side step. Many of us within marginalized communities-specifically our disabled siblings and loves-took up sex work as a means to supliment wages lost due to layoffs, cut back hours, and the uncompromising position that working from home wasn’t “real work”. For some, it was a time of liberation and self actualization. We can, if we so desire, love ourselves and our bodies. If others chose to appreciate that financially, all the better. And yet, the grind culture of the west saw fit to destroy that and usurp any upwards mobility yet again from us. It preferred the disabled and neuro-divergent in compartmentalized boxes that it could clearly label-as accomplishments of mercy, or side shows to be laughed at and mocked. Damned be their medical conditions, that’s not how you were meant to be marketed. Capitalism wants to keep marginalized communities meek and pathetic in it’s own eyes, and the very concept that a disabled person could celebrate themselves and their own sexuality was simply too much to ask.

Capitalism is the root cause behind many of the NSFW, adult entertainment and queer communities woes. By its inescapable machinations all alternatives of payment processing and/or earning a living wage such as Bitcoin become shell games where our financial stability and mental well being are pawns for the same billionaires who delight in the lack of consequences at our abuse.

What’s more, algorithms have encouraged the manufacturing of discourse that in no way furthers the fight for human rights of the BIPOC, queer and sex work community. If you’re unfamiliar with COINTELPRO, now is the time to read up. The invisible, decentralized standing army built by political factions is aided in its goals through subterfuge, spy craft and intentional divisive dialogues intended to rip communities apart from the inside. Divided, we’re easier to conquer and destroy. Political party affiliation in the US more or less doesn’t matter so much as your usefulness for the dreadful, blood soaked machine of financial progress.

The concept of “simply existing” isn’t in the vocabulary of such adversaries. In the words of Gnostic The Poet, “non-violence only works when your opponent has a conscience”. Both parties play into that in order to encourage division. For republicans, failing to die and suffer for “god and country” means you’re a traitor. For the democratic party, you will never bleed enough for the cause to care, and if you did-they ultimately cowtail to corporate super PACs, no different than the boys in red.

All other political parties, movements or attempts at fighting for a better tomorrow have been met with assassination attempts (usually successful), media smear campaigns unseen since the cold war, intentional black book backing of harassment groups and intentional feeding into fear and paranoia within human rights focused advances.

The beast roars, and cries out in the tongue of computer science.

The world trembles, and we scatter for safety.

If you’ve ever asked yourself why your favorite creator has to resort to multiple platforms, multiple means of payment, creating content for free, starting go fund mes to cover medical expenses or simply pay bills, that’s why.

We are all victims of a death cult. One that will never be satiated until the streets run as crimson rivers up to their knees with the blood of those they deem disposable.

A Caustic Chord Singing Praise

Cults have their devotees, and in the case of capitalism, the largest and most prominent are organized religion-primarily north american evangelicals in the US and Canada.

I understand this claim is going to alarm and offend some of you. Frankly speaking, I don’t care.If a challenge to the reality of your ideals is all it takes to shake you, your god is weak and unworthy of praise or devotion. There. I finally said the quiet part out loud, the whisper that’s been haunting you in the long nights.

Back on course, churches of any shade in most countries can apply for tax exemption status. This means they have a disproportionate amount of believer fed money with which to influence city/state/national politics. Much like the bias of algorithms, organized religion is biased towards the sensational, the spectacle. Despite claims to the contrary, nobody likes a minister who whispers or a God that doesn’t enjoy a good scrap.

So organized religion tells you to go to war. Sometimes this comes via “god and country”, encouraging the (mostly men, mostly young) in its congregation to go fight a culture they’ve never encountered out of some divine mandate. If they’re to perish, all the better! You’ll be martyred for the cause and never forgotten! Teach those heretics by amassing a mountain of bodies!

Except, oh gosh, sometimes there’s not a physical war to go fight. Never the matter-the home front needs protection. You want to secure a future for your family, your children and race don’t you? Why, look at that mountain of dead! We’re dying out, man!

And so the machine churns and roars, spewing a smoke screen into the endless blue sky. The beast promises a blessing, and points its hoary hand towards…well, whoever is convenient at the time, really. In the last twenty years, that has increasingly become the same marginalized communities that have filled the beasts belly since time immemorial. If they’re not white, straight and cis enough? They’ll burn bright on the pyre.

Which is why hate crimes towards queer people have increased many fold. It’s why the life expectancy of black trans women is thirty-five. It’s why the queer cousin you have is afraid to go to school. War is profitable, and the church will happily pay to ensure anyone unlike them never gets a steady breath.

Sex work comes into this via the obvious-we’re composed of people society deems socially unacceptable, doing something incredibly “heinous” and immoral. Our actions often lead us to using contraceptives, which refute the beautiful gift of life. It leads to us taking proper precautions against STIs, which we should take as our punishment for being so wicked. If the entire country standing by during the AIDs crisis wasn’t enough to convince you, look at the lightning speed with which monkey pox was deemed “the gay virus” and something only queers could get. Organized religion influences these decisions with mountains of money that hasn’t seen an audit since Cotton Mather and Increase Mather decided witch hunts were a great way to seize property.

It’s easy to corral people and whip your devotees into a frenzy if you say the “enemy” is a sinful, plague carrying affront to god.

Except that doesn’t always work, so they decide to kill us via a multitude of tiny cuts. Applying pressure to payment processors, encouraging raging preachers to have us killed, getting local politicians to say they’ll “line us up against the wall and kill that grooming scum”. Couple this with those arcane algorithms, and what you get are darkly violent hymns and war chants not seen since the first crusade.

An army without ever lifting a finger, ready to kill and die against an “enemy” that is starving, homeless and dying in debt.

Nice “godly folks”, that lot.

We, as a community, have thus been forced into being nomads ever gazing over our shoulders.

Where We Lay Our Weary Heads Is Home

The hand wringing is earnestly the worst part.

“Oh, it’s not our fault,” the platform you’ve spent the better part of a year building an audience on will say, “We simply have to appeal to advertisers. It’s to deal with all those-you knows-that used the platform the wrong way! Surely you understand!”

They say this with a crooked smile, then follow it up with those age old lies.

“It’s for your own good” they say, “Think of the children!”

I’ve been told this at least once every four months since 2018, when Tumblr decided to do a NSFW purge. That I, and people like me, were an affront to common sensibilities even with proper age restrictions and law compliant means taken to ensure our content never reached the wrong people. Even with extensive tagging options. I’ve lost the energy to care when I hear news of a platform taking measures to exterminate us at this point. Instead, I take a breath and begin setting up counter measures, alternative platforms and more right away.

It’s an exhausting life, and several times I have asked myself if any of this was truly worth it. I could simply get a nine-to-five somewhere. I could bleed for the machine, this insurmountable and horrid thing I’ve no chance of beating. But then the idea passes and I’m logging into some new site a peer assured me would tolerate us, if only for a while. I give a silent prayer to gods I don’t believe in the people there are nice. I begin again, anew. As do countless others just like me. People who take every precaution to obey the law, to gate our content, to ensure we can live while also chasing the dream we’ve fallen into countless times.

At least for a while, we’re safe.

Make absolutely no mistake-an assault on NSFW/sex work content is first and foremost an assault on marginalized communities. The slide into overtly fascist politics in the west has increased these deplatforming methods over the last twenty years, though such policies were already being murmured well before 9/11. To engage in deplatforming communities deemed a threat to the American ideal-meaning anyone who wasn’t white and cishet-ensured that the machine got to keep running for a bit longer. The rise of the NSA, the horrendously invasive Patriot Act (followed by Biden’s recent homeland defense bill) and the counterproductive signing of SESTA/FOSTA gave the federal government unlimited power to attack us.

It doesn’t matter if you’re “one of the good ones”. There are no “good ones” in the eyes of fascists, save the ones they put themselves in the ground.

How many of your friends have left the industry and community already? How many queers do you know trying to “reach across the isle” politically, if only to ensure their own safety? How many times do you hear allies making completely tone deaf statements, as though they speak for the safety of us all?

How many more cis-het white saviors preaching from a mountain of our dead do we have to suffer before we realize the only people that can speak for us is us? That realization, if you’ve been in the community long enough, has been a forever ringing alarm bell that falls on ignoring ears within the greater political sphere of the US. Sure, some of us have run for office. Some of us have even been successful, despite character and real assassination attempts. But due to division within the community, the belching of dollars from the beast and lies, its rare policies and laws last more than eight meager years. Appeals to higher authority fail unless the circumstances are merited as a threat to national security.

As of this writing, we’ve endured well documented police brutality and violence towards the BIPOC community, queer people and sex workers at a rate equitable to genocide. Our president’s answer to that was “more police”.

So we’re all nomads. We word things carefully. We set up the equivalent of a community watch to keep ourselves safe, to keep our content platformed, and to ensure we can at least feed ourselves. This endless caravan grows weary, but we continue to march. For the alternative is to die in the wastes, another body for the pyre, the political machinations of people who will view our suffering from the pages of the local news.

To be in the NSFW/sex work/BIPOC community is to exist in a constant state of kinetic transition, praying that communications hold out another day. Because without them, you’d surely perish.

The cure is a united front based in fact checking, tracking of the financial routes of our oppressors, and being incredibly fucking loud and annoying to those that want us dead. Even louder than we already are, even more preposterously incapable of being marketable than we have ever dreamed. To fight means to wave your “freak flags” as high as we can and demand nothing less than control of the reigns of our lives.

“Become ungovernable” is a meek statement for people unaware of how deep corporate ties affect politics. No, I say unto you “become unmarketable”, be the radical boogeyman of gender identity and flesh that they fear you are.

Become the nightmare of the beast, wander no longer. Run your roots deep within your community, and never bend to the wind that blows from that beast. Let your will and being crack the concrete jungles of corporate america. Shatter their gilded halls with a thousand vines they can’t kill or ignore, that no amount of pruning will ever make pretty their modernist sensibilities again.

For our communities have always been. We always will be. They can kill us, they can strike at us, they can deplatform us. We persist regardless. Their genocidal ideals are modern machinations, and all machines are overcome by growth at some point.

And the caravan has grown so sagged with exhaustion, hasn’t it?

A Smirk In The Dark

You’re still probably just standing by.

But, I hope these words laid a few things bare. I hope it got across just how dire the situation is-and the length some of us are willing to go. But go on, ignore it all. Pretend I’m just some crazy person on the internet.

I’ll think of you fondly as I wake every morning. As I continue to stand against all of this, surrounded by my BIPOC/queer/disabled/sex work siblings I link arms with. Long after you’re gone, after the machine has used you and discarded your desiccated husk, I’ll look down. I’ll crack a grin.

I’ll still be fighting.

-j

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Amazon Wish List

[harleykissedsims]

not that anyone asked but i am very pro donations to creators and commissions and stuff. i have subbed to many sim patreons in the past and if i have more financial stability in the future i definitely plan on doing so again!! cc is definitely a lot of work and looking at tutorials gives me a headache.

that being said, its…..short sighted i guess to hinge your career on creating fan content. as others have said, the fact EA allowed paywalls at all is extremely generous. i understand that its probably great to have it as your career. i am physically disabled myself and i can understand where a lot of creators are coming from. but like….besties….did u never stop to think why people aren’t creating careers off of fanfic or fanart? its bc u cant!! and if ur an adult and ur reaction to this TOU is to have a public tantrum and blame everyone else (like my god u had no plan b????), i dont think u should really expect much sympathy. people were upset about the paywalls because it ruined the community (and i include early access in this), and community really matters. u are not the only person struggling to make ends meet, u are not the only person that has major obstacles in the way of getting a traditional form of income, ur not the only person who wants to do what they love for a career and now can’t. life is hard. and thats exactly why a sense of community is so important. when you have that, u have a support system. u have people to send u resources when ur in need. u have people to freely guide u to success. when u decide to capitalize on the community resources, u drain the community well like a vampire. people cant be so generous anymore. u bring the harder aspects of life we’re all trying to escape from into a space that was supportive. capitalism is inherently anti-community. and if ur okay with that, then fine, but at least boldly admit u believe your wants and needs should come first and at the expense of others, and that ur not here to make the community stronger

[polygonal-trees]

What's Up With Perceptor's Optics? (theory post)

During the latter half of Season 3, Perceptor's optics were still visibly damaged. In movie 1, they've been cleaned up, but not fully repaired or replaced. Why is this?

First of all I want to say that Perceptor staying blind isn't a bad thing. He’s clearly doing well, and it’s good that a kids’ show is telling its audience that disabilities are not inherently tragic. There's certainly a longer discussion to be had about disability rep in children's media, but that's not what this post is about. I just want to make it clear I don't think Perceptor should have his eyesight restored, just that I think it's interesting he hasn't. Because presumably he can.

Cyberverse has already shown us that Cybertronians can recover from these types of injuries. Bumblebee had his voice box replaced after it was physically torn out, and Shadow Striker survived being blown to pieces, having multiple parts replaced as a result. So the question is: why hasn't Perceptor had his sight restored when all of canon suggests it can be?

Theory 1: Scarcity

Perceptor's optics were unique and complex, so maybe replacing them isn’t that simple. Either the parts are unavailable or can’t be easily replicated, which could be why Megatron didn’t have his optic repaired either. Maybe with the peace treaty signed, the Autobots will be able to collaborate with the Decepticons or colony planets to acquire the tech and materials needed. If this is the case, Perceptor might just be waiting.

However, it could also be that Perceptor's optics were so unique that the original designs cannot be replicated at all. Which leads me to…

Theory 2: Rejection

As seen with Shadow Striker, while seemingly any parts can be used to repair a Cybertronian, those parts don't necessarily work as they should. I think it’s likely the only reason Shadow Striker was repaired in that way is because of how unethical Shockwave was. As for Perceptor, maybe the Autobots do have spare optics available, but they’re the wrong sort, and Perceptor’s body would either fail to properly connect or outright reject them. Can you imagine the pain of malfunctioning, glitching eyes?? It would make sense for Perceptor to choose blindness over that, especially since he seems to be managing fine.

Theory 3: A different type of damage

Maybe the problem's not with Perceptor’s optics, but what they were connected to. Given that his original optics weren't just broken, but blown up while inside his face, there could easily be lasting damage to the parts that connected them to his processor. If this is true then although his optics could be easily replaced, they simply wouldn’t work. Similarly to Theory 1, maybe the Autobots just don’t currently have the resources for that type of repair, but it's possible that sort of damage is one of the few things that can’t be fixed at all.

Theory 4: Why should he?

Like I said, Perceptor is happy. He’s running MacCadam’s, he’s going to events, and as far as we know he doesn’t have any trouble living his life. He can even ‘see’ to some extent with his scope. Maybe he just decided that he doesn’t need optics and doesn’t want them replaced. I don’t know his life. Maybe it’s just that simple ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Theory 5: Just in case

This one relies a lot more heavily on speculation and character analysis but hear me out–

As I rambled about in this post, it really seems Perceptor could see while he was in the loop, and that was how he knew it wasn’t real. If this is true, I think he may have chosen to stay blind just in case he was ever caught in another illusion. Perceptor is a selfless and self-sacrificing type of person, as shown when he told Chromia she should have let the Decepticons kill him rather than lead the Autobots into a trap. Losing his eyesight would be a small price to pay in exchange for his own, his friends’, and his universe’s safety. It’s a bit extreme, but given everything he’s been through I think it’s completely in-character.

I hope we find out!

That’s from me, thank you for reading! I hope that actual canon Cyberverse will do more with Perceptor and address this stuff, but until then I’d love to hear your thoughts and theories! Feel free to comment, reblog, or join the discussion however you’d like 😊

Until next time~

[timextoxhajima]

Love Me A Little Less: Chapter 6 - Misogynist

LOVE ME A LITTLE LESS CHAPTER MASTERLIST

Member: (3rd person pov) arranged marriage au with Lee Juyeon

Genre: angsty wangsty

Taglist: @hyunjaethereal @sunwoowuvbot​

“Don’t offend me.”

“No, I think the best course of action for HERA & ARTEMIS is that we not only branch out to collaborate with other companies, but also to make um… say, connections with non-profit organisations. Orphanages, charities, you name it. The publicity HERA & ARTEMIS will get after being recognised as a community-caring brand, a brand that cares no less than it’s maximum ability to about children, the elderly and the disabled.” 

“Charitable. I like it,” The Resources CEO of The Board nods with a wine of champagne in his glass. even at her own wedding, all the bride can think of is work. All she cares about is how to make sure HERA & ARTEMIS is heard in the crowd of attendees to her wedding. “Anyway, a gorgeous wedding, I must say. What made you have it at home? I’d expect that your father and brother would have wanted it somewhere more… ravish, y’know, more extravagant.” 

It takes some effort to hide her disgust at the thought that her father had a say over where she wanted to have her wedding. 

“Of course not,” The service smile almost feels surgically implanted into her face, even Jang Won herself is put off. “Juyeon and I have already planned this right off the bat, have it at Hera’s Manor.” 

“Why not at the Lee House? I thought the Lee’s would’ve preferred it there, you know, husband and all.” 

Jang Won could’ve slapped the glass of champagne out of his grasp if she wanted to, then probably break the bowl off the stem and send it into his eye. 

Misogynist. 

“We—” 

“The Lee House doesn’t have the facility and resources to hold a wedding now,” Juyeon comes round with a cup of whiskey, cheeks slightly pink from the alcohol as he rounds his arm around Jang Won, pulling her into his torso and even bothering to press a kiss into her temple. “It isn’t as presentable as you’d expect it to be. Hera’s Manor is well-kept and it looks like it’s prepped for a party every other day.” 

Juyeon smiles politely, eyes drifting from the Resources CEO to Jang Won, and for a split second, Jang Won might just feel somewhat impressed he stood up for her. “You know what they say, if you need something done, a lady will do it fast and efficient.”

The Resources CEO provides the newly wedded couple an awkward smile, not really able to spit out a proper response to Juyeon’s rebuttal. 

“Anyway, love, your brother’s asking for you in your office. Some administrative issues that cropped up,” Juyeon pulls away and turns his body, feet already pointing away from the Resources CEO. “If you’ll excuse us, Mr Teuk.” 

Juyeon lowers his head as a sign of respect, though he probably doesn’t mean it. He gently tugs on Jang Won and leads her out of the courtyard. 

“Please tell me there aren’t any actual administrative manners Younghoon wants to talk to me about,” Jang Won seethes as she walks up the yard stairs and into the main hall. 

“‘Course not,” Juyeon subtly shakes his head. “He’s having the time of his life actually, getting acquainted with the other members of The Board. Have you always been the one helping him with Artemis?” 

“In his defence, I don’t let him handle anything. It’s a subsidiary of HERA & ARTEMIS so I might as well take things into my own hands and worry about it on my own.” 

“Well, maybe you should let him figure his hand out at things. He doesn’t legally own Artemis for nothing.” 

Jang Won turns to shoot a look of distaste at Juyeon. 

“What?” He frowns, forehead creasing. “I’m literally telling you to split your workload.”

“I don’t need to split my workload. I’m doing fine on my own and frankly, I’d rather he sit back and let me do most of it so that at least I know what the Hell’s going on with my companies without worrying about any secrets.” 

Juyeon rubs the back of his neck and shoves his hands into his pockets. “In other words, you don’t trust your brother.” 

“Please,” She walks off first, heading for her office where she usually seeks refuge amongst her bottles of whiskey and bourbon and documents. “Just because I love him for being my brother doesn’t mean I should trust him with my finances.” 

“You’re literally born into a family of fortune. Even if he does mess up, you’d be able to recover from it. The consequences would mean absolutely nothing to you.” 

Jang Won pushes the heavy doors of her office open, admiring the late-morning sun that’s spilling all over her chair and her desk. 

“See, that’s where you’re wrong, pretty boy. I choose not to rely on whatever I have at birth because I always felt like whatever my dad had was just handed to him,” She reaches for the ice bucket and picks up a ball of ice, dropping it into the whiskey glass, then coats most of its surface with bourbon. “But God forsake my hard work, huh? I guess if hard work really did pay off then I wouldn’t be standing here, in a wedding-lunch dress, talking to my husband.” 

Juyeon raises both brows and throws himself into one of the sofa seats, the clinking of the whiskey decanter echoing ever so slightly throughout the office. “Ever heard of a holiday? You should go on one.”

She scoffs with exaggeration, the gentle swishing of the alcohol meeting the ice and the glass gleaming like liquid honey under the sunlight. “Yes, because I’m just like you, the one who would run away from the responsibilities he was born into whenever he doesn’t want them.”

“I’m sorry,” Juyeon grimaces, standing up and allowing the silvers of his suit glimmer as he walks into where the sunlight kisses the floor. “Which toe did I step on? I just pulled you out of a situation you would’ve otherwise not wanted to be in.” 

“Unfortunately for you, I didn’t need pulling out. I could’ve handled myself right there and then. It’s been like that for as long as I can remember - I don’t need myself a nanny to save me,” Cocking one of her brows, she gives a wry laugh before downing the shot of whiskey.

Juyeon is in disbelief in her ability to perceive gratitude - or rather, a lack thereof. 

“Maybe your father came back to save HERA & ARTEMIS from your terrible people’s skills, ever thought of that?”

“Wrong again, pretty boy!” She peels the glass off her lips and stares at the lipstick mark. “I’m perfect with the people I wanna be perfect with to get what I want, and when they are of no use to me, I’m well aware I treat them less than average.”

“There it is,” He sneers, stopping right before her as she finishes the last bit of her whiskey. “So, you’re a hypocrite.”

A smirk draws across her lips. Jang Won almost slams the glass back down in the tray of other glasses and the whiskey decanter. “And I’m proud of it. There’s nothing you can do about it, Lee Juyeon. You agreed to play this game my way and now that we’re wearing matching rings. I’m afraid you’ll have to deal with it.”

Jang Won squares up and jabs a finger into his shoulder. But Juyeon catches her wrist and holds it in place, causing her to grunt and attempt to writhe her way out, but to no avail. 

“Kim Jang Won, you listen to me and you listen well. Just because I agreed to play this game by your rules, doesn’t mean I’m your puppet. We both know who will be the more powerful one in May, so my advice?” By now, Juyeon’s nose is almost in her eye. He’s not even bothering to look at her. 

“Don’t offend me.”

Jang Won finally snatches her wrist out of his hold when she feels his grip loosen. Huffing, she stomps past him, shoulder bumping into his arm for good measure as she leaves the office.

Younghoon just about catches his sister rolling her eyes so hard, she was this close to hurling a string of vulgarities at the wooden of her office door. “Hey, what were you doing in your office? People are looking for you!”

Without a word, her eyes are locked with his in frustration. 

“What?” He frowns. 

She thinks for a moment. 

She can ruin him and destroy him by asking him to take Artemis for himself before the deal is due in June. Ask him why he was so useless and had his little sister do everything for him, never once really fighting to take ownership of a company legally his. 

“Nothing,” The brush-off is sharp and distinct as she waves him off, turning to walk into the main hall. “Go get yourself more sponsors before June, will you? I’m not sure the same people would want to keep in touch with HERA & ARTEMIS after the separation and collaboration is made official.”

Juyeon returns home later that evening, still wearing the fourth outfit of the day. It was a blue suit with a black collar and details and all he wants to do is soak himself in his bath. Maybe he could go to sleep safe and sound, and he’d wake up single and free to do whatever he actually wants to do. 

He walks down the entrance corridor, sick of all the staged portraits of him and his family hung on the walls. The main hall comes into sight, past the stairs on his right, where the television was still broadcasting bits and pieces of his wedding earlier. In the million-dollar couch sat his father, eyes and ears attentive to the screen. 

“Was it so entertaining that you have to watch it again? I know you were there this afternoon.”

His father turns his head subtly. Juyeon pulls off his blazer and removes his watch, laying the heavy clothing over his forearm as he scans the broadcast.

“The Lee-Kim wedding saw nothing short of nothing but a perfect list of investors, sponsors, fellow colleagues and leaders of several enterprises...”

He turns to look at his father, obviously still somewhat hurt that he hadn’t been officially invited by his son - Mr Ro had sent out mandatory invites to family members.

“It was a gorgeous wedding.”

“Yeah, well...” Juyeon shrugs lifelessly, already turning around to head for the stairs. “I had no say in it. It was her wedding and I don’t care, so.”

“The Board is expecting you to go on a Honeymoon, you have that in place, right?”

Juyeon gives a dry chuckle, already on the first step of the stairs. “Yeah, we’re going to Guatemala.”

“Guatemala?” His father shifts his attention from the television and looks at Juyeon, halfway up the stairs. “You’re just finding a chance to go diving in Belize, aren’t you?”

His son doesn’t falter, only continuing taking each step towards the second level, in hopes that he wouldn’t have to listen to his father criticise the only thing Jang Won let him do. At least it was some kind of freedom. 

“Juyeon-”

“Mom better not be in my room.”

The second floor corridor greets him with even more portraits of his family, most of the pictures of him when he was younger. He halts right outside his door when he notices light seeping out from beneath. 

Sighing with exasperation, he lays his hand on the door handle, readying himself to listen to his mother ramble. But his attention drifts from the cream-painted mahogany to the low cabinet next to him, the blue shade of the stingray shining under the hallway lights.

There was a ceramic statue of a standing coral frame with the stingray within the arc, and on it engraved ‘Hawaii 2018′. He smiles, remembering only fond memories of seeing a huge stingray while diving. Sunwoo had been dragged out by him - one of those times when he fought with his parents and couldn’t stand being in the same house as them. He covered travel cost and hospitality fees, ensuring Sunwoo’s parents (whose family was also on the smaller arm of The Board’s administration) that he’d take care of them. 

Juyeon got an earful from his parents when he came back. Young Jin Seol had been the one to tell his parents his whereabouts, solely because he had arranged for her to make sure it seemed like he was still doing his job at the office. So, of course, when his parents walked into office and she was doing his work for him, they had threatened to fire her. 

But Juyeon knew he was indebted, and told his parents, “No Jin Seol, then you can forget about me taking over Apple-Korea.”

Sucking a deep breath, Juyeon shakes himself out of his mental trance, and pushes the door open. 

The back of his mother seems so fragile on first sight, and he’s well aware she’s getting on in her years. For a split second, he feels emotional, possibly feeling some tinge of remorse at how horrible of a son he’s been.

Then he remembers that she’s had an abundance of spa treatments, country-club lunches with her fellow rich moms after a game of gold or tennis, and a bunch of other things she definitely didn’t need. He wish he could tell himself otherwise, that she had been born into this life and thus living anything else dissimilar to this would be tiring on her.

But he can’t.

“I’m surprised you bothered to come home,” She says without looking at him. Juyeon rests his blazer on the back of the single sofa seat that’s angled to face the one she’s sitting in. “I was wondering if I should send some pajamas over to Hera’s Manor.”

Juyeon sits in the crystal encrusted sofa seat, crossing his legs and eyeing his mother fiddle with the wedding band on her finger. It reminds him of his own. 

“You realise you’re the one who bound me to the Kim family, don’t you? You’re the one who said okay to marrying Kim Jang Won, not me.”

“It was for your own good.”

“For mine or for our family?” Juyeon leans back in his seat and interlocks his fingers, placing them in his lap. “What else do you really need from the Lee family that you simply cannot take your eyes off? Their money? HERA & ARTEMIS? What?”

Only now does Juyeon notice the cup of tea on the small coffee table infront of them. 

“A child,” She says, like it was the most casual thought one could have, before taking a sip of tea. Her son shuts his eyes then opens them with his eyebrows as far up his forehead as he can. 

Providing a dry, tortured chuckle, Juyeon blinks multiple times, wishing that it was a condition with his hearing and not just something his mother had just spat out.

“A what?” Juyeon pulls apart his hands and leans forward, fists now clenched and pressed into the cushion he was sitting in.

“You heard me,” She places the tea cup down and refuses to look at him. “A child would mean inheritance. The Lee family will inherit the wealth of the Kims and it could possibly start a new system. It could rewrite The Board. We could become The Board.”

“What the-” He finally stands, barely choking out some kind of laughter filled with confusion and utter disbelief. “You want a child just to bond our families together and take over The fucking Board? My God, why are you so obsessed with The Board?”

“Because The Board is everything! No board, no us, no wealth and comfort like the kind we raised you in-”

“Does it look like I wanted it?!” Juyeon runs his hands through his hair, pulling his hair back and stretching his hairline. 

“You ingrate-”

“So I am an ingrate. But I had no choice, I have no life of my own because guess who’s making my decisions for me? You! If I don’t even have the ability to make my own choices then how do I even qualify as an ingrate?!”

She’s silent, and very much staring at the words spewing out of her son’s mouth now. She huffs through her flared nostrils, picking up the saucer and the tea cup and standing. “I don’t know what kind of ideas Kim Jang Won has planted in your head but you are still part of the Lee family and-”

“For Gods’ sake, Jang Won has nothing to do with any of this! In fact, she can’t care less about what I’m doing, so long as it doesn’t change the course of this entire situation. If anything, she’s playing it safe; she’s playing it against her father, and not us,” The veins on Juyeon’s hands are about to rip through his skin when he cannot close his fist any more. “Her father literally climbed out the grave... and you took this chance to capitalise on that in order to make our family richer the moment you heard of The Board’s announcement regarding HERA & ARTEMIS’s ownership complications...”

Juyeon shakes his head subtly, realising that he was panting from the sheer force of anger and disgust rushing through him. 

“And she’s younger than me. Lost her mother, lost her father, who only comes back to take what she built? You know, for a woman under The Board, I’d think you’d understand what she’s gone through. I thought... I thought you would’ve known how hard it is to be the successful one in the family but cannot pass down the family name... but everytime I think the world of you, and I think you’d act a little more like the woman I thought you are... you prove me wrong.”

Juyeon glares down at her, hands holding the teacup in the saucer with some kind of disapproving, disappointed look of fury in her eyes. Then he sighs heavily, hands rushing to pick up his blazer and storms out the room before she can.

“Leave Kim Jang Won alone, or else I’ll refuse Apple-Korea. By then, you can forget about all your stupid green bills and diamond rings.”

And with that, he slams the door shut. 

Juyeon appears along the second floor hallway, visible from the first floor’s living hall, where his father was still watching the news of his wedding earlier on in the day. Of course, the door slamming would’ve caught his attention, so when his son rushes down the stairs while putting his blazer back on, the elder man removes himself off the couch.

“Juyeon! Where are you going?!”

“Don’t call me, and don’t even think of calling Hera’s Manor,” He opens the heavy front door with such determination, then slams it harder than he intends to. By the foot of the stairs leading down to the pick up point by the entrance, his two bodyguards are taken aback and flustered when Juyeon appears again.

“Uh, can I get Mr Bong around-”

The instruction through the guard’s earpiece is cut short and interrupted abruptly as Juyeon unplugs the earpiece from the transmitter. 

“Mr Lee-” 

Juyeon doesn’t hesitate to do the same with the other guard. By now, his father has gotten the front door open and yelling at him with disapproving scolds. 

Rushing around the hood of the Porsche, Juyeon steps into the drivers’ seat - an unlikely sight, since he’s been chauffeured around most of the time.

“What in the world are you two doing? Stop him from leaving!” 

The vehicle revs to life, and Juyeon fumbles under the passenger seat’s compartment box and every crook and cranny in the front of the car.

“Juyeon!”

He winds up the window on the driver’s side and locks the entire vehicle just as his father reaches the window. He tugs on the handle angrily, almost able to shake the entire car with his aggression. 

“Juyeon, don’t you dare!”

Then, he finds it. A tracking device attached to all the cars his family owns.

Ripping it off the surface it was stuck into, he rolls down the window on the passenger’s side and hurls it out, straight into the arms of one of the bodyguards.

“Juyeon!”

He starts up the car and pulls it into drive, forcing his father to back off as he moves off.

[waywardodysseys]

Voice - Oneshot

Pairing: Ezra x female mute!reader

Warnings: cussing, angst, spoilers for Prospect

Requested?: Yes from this ask - I loved Speak!!’ Ezra is such a dad. Maybe when your done with all your other requests can you do a part 2 where it’s set after the movie where they make it to the station and Ezra teaches her how to speak and maybe she tells him why she didn’t talk. You could come why she didn’t talk before

Author’s note: I slightly changed it to where she knows how to speak yet refuses.

Rating: PG-13

Speak - Part One; Pedro Pascal Masterlist

I don’t give permission for my work to be posted on another site with the exception of tumblr and AO3 (where I post the stories myself). If you find it elsewhere then it has been stolen.

After finally getting off the Green by ambushing a group of people to obtain their vessel, you, Cee, and Ezra make it back to the station. Medical personnel were there to greet the three of you. You and Cee watched as Ezra was carted off to have his arm further examined while you and Cee sat in the medical bay, only for observation and to get the two of you fed and hydrated.

Cee consoled you, “It’s okay, Y/N. We are fine. We’ll make it; we’ll survive. We always do.”

You had simply nodded, taking in more food and water. You then sighed and signed, “I know.” It felt as though you haven't eaten and drank in years when it had only been a couple of weeks since the last decent meal you shared with your father and Cee on the Green before your father died.

The captain had come by to inform you and Cee, Ezra was doing fine and would eventually be given a prosthetic arm since he was an essential digger. She also informed the two of you, you and your older sister could use some rest before you started work back on the station and Cee left for the next departure to another planet to find resources to keep the station afloat until it returned to Earth in three months.

Once you and Cee were cleared from the medical bay, you made your way back towards your living quarters, which was going to feel smaller yet bigger since it was just you and Cee now. The two of you didn’t do much for the first day back except sleep, which your body desperately needed since you had barely slept a wink since Ezra walked into you and your sister’s life down on the Green.

You thought about Ezra often. Wondering how he’s doing, wondering what he’s doing. You had spoken in front of him, something you hadn't done in ages since you could remember. Yet you do remember...you and Cee had just lost your mother and you blamed yourself, even though Cee never blamed you for her death, she always blamed your greedy hungry father for her death. You were closer to your mother whereas Cee was close to your father, mainly because Cee enjoyed going on digs and you preferred to stay behind and work on what you do best - the station’s comms system.

It’s where Ezra finds you, one day, while he’s roaming the station, trying to get his bearings back along with using the prosthetic arm the station’s doctor got him. “Afternoon, Y/N,” he remarks, his brown eyes looking at you. “Though we never know what time of day it really is up here.”

You simply nod and continue working. Getting your hands in between wires, fingers feeling them, as you make sure they are plugged into the right component. You feel Ezra hovering over you, so you look at him and motioned him to go away but he stays.

“I just wanted to see how you’re doing,” he informs you. “I ran into Cee in the mess hall.” He begins to ramble, “I guess I should watch out for the two of you. Seeing as I,” he lowered his voice to utter, “killed your father.” His voice returns to its deep timbre, “Yet he deserved it; he was tryin’ to swindle me, and I didn’t like that.”

You know he’s yammering on; most people do when they found out you don’t respond, don’t speak. It’s not like you were born with a disability, you choose not to speak because of your voice because it’s what caused...you shake your head pushing aside the thought before you truly think of it.

“What?” Ezra’s voice draws you out of your haze.

You look at him and sign, “Nothing. Please...let me work.”

“I’ve been learning more sign language since I’ve been held up.” He pauses. “Vids...even Cee. I might not know much now but eventually, I will, and we can have an actual conversation.” he chuckles, thinking the two of you will be like two peas in a pod.

“Great,” you sign with a bit of sarcasm in your motion. Of course, Cee would visit him. She and Ezra got along tremendously. 

Ezra chuckles, “Even though you didn’t say it, I can feel the disdain you have.”

You roll your eyes and find the tablet needed. You begin to move your fingers against the touch screen, feeling at peace because this is what you do best. Your throat itches to speak, you had done it once before in his presence, but it was after he had helped you and he wasn’t being helpful this go around. You wish he’d just go away.

“I want to do what’s best for you, and Cee. Let me be your guys’ keeper. Gods, that sounded horrible. I mean, let me watch out for the two of you since you have no one.” Ezra declares.

Keeper? The word sticks out like a sore thumb. You’ve had enough of the man and want to return to your solitude. You place the tablet aside then stand. You sign, “You know nothing about me and Cee. As you mentioned you killed our father, yet...yet you did watch out for us afterward.” Your breath is heavy from signing furiously. “Just because you are an adult does not make you, our parent.”

Ezra swallows. He barely understood any of the signs since you moved your hands hurriedly. He knows you want to speak; you did speak to him though it was only once. “Look,” he licks his lips, knowing he’s never once done what he’s about to do, “I’m sorry. I...I didn't mean to intrude. I was simply helping you and Cee. I’ll leave you alone.” 

You watch him walk away with a hung head. Did you just watch and hear Ezra express feelings, other than greed? You shake off the thought then return to your work. You don't need another parent. You had two and they were gone. All you have is Cee, no one else matters.

-------

Time passes by quickly as you continue with your work on the station. You don't mind it though since Cee has accompanied Ezra on a couple of digs. Cee had been hesitant to leave you alone, but you informed and reassured her you would be fine. After all, working on the station’s comms made you feel at ease, it brought you back to yourself once again.

Ezra stayed away from you. Only doing simple greetings if he ever crossed your path. You had ignored him since the fleeting moment you had shared deep within the station when you yelled at him through your hasty hand movements. Cee could sense something was off when the three of you sat in the mess a couple of times eating dinner. She didn't press either of you about what had happened, fearing it would evoke an argument. Though it didn’t stop her from divulging information to Ezra when he told her about the confrontation when they were on a dig together.

“She’s the youngest. So, I must watch out for her. But she is the smarter one,” Cee had chuckled. “She loved learning about everything, didn’t want to get her hands dirty,” Cee had informed him. “Y/N was close to our mom. I was close to our father, we always enjoyed going on digs. My sister stayed behind to work on the station cause our mom worked on the station. She followed in our mom’s footsteps, I followed in our father’s.”

Ezra had glanced at Cee, acknowledging why Y/N was defensive with him all those many moons ago. “She’s protective of you, and herself.” Ezra had chuckled and shaken his head. “She’s in her element back on the station.”

“She is,” Cee had replied. “It’s her world, her comfort zone. And the digs are mine.”

Ezra had only nodded in response, realizing he had disrupted you in your element. He hadn’t pressed Cee for anything else after that. 

Ezra now moseys about the station. The months have flown by and in a few days, they would be returning to Earth and as Cee informed him on their last dig, she and Y/N would be going to see their family and he was more than welcomed to accompany them. He liked the idea of a found family, especially since he had looked after Cee and Y/N, though it was mainly Cee. He never had much of a family growing up and now he had one.

But an eerily feeling plagued Ezra. He had to make amends with you; he had to make sure you and he were on good terms before going on another journey to who knows where to meet the people who’ve helped raise you and will continue to raise you since both of your parents are gone.

He finds you in the belly of the station as he had done all those days ago. “Y/N,” he utters as he approaches, keeping up his defenses, afraid you might attack with your quick signage.

You stop what you’re doing and look at the man. His hair is slightly shaggier now; the blond speck is still present. The beard covering his face seems to be thicker with hints of gray. “What?” you sign. You knew he was tagging along with you and Cee once the station touched down on Earth. You had been mad at Cee for days on end until you realized you couldn't persuade her to uninvite Ezra.

“I...I,” Ezra stammers, unsure of what to say. He ponders, “Why can’t you use your voice to talk?”

You sign slowly, “Why...does...it...matter...to...you?”

He had learned enough sign language he could almost be fluent in it, especially since Cee helped him. They didn't have much else to do on digs when they found gems. “Cee said you were close to your mother. She says you blamed yourself for the longest time.”

“If it wasn’t for me, she’d be alive,” you sign, not holding back since Cee and Ezra have spent an abundance of time together. “I feel responsible.”

“What happened?” Ezra inquires. He then signs, “Use your voice. Please.”

Tears sting your eyes. It was because of your voice she had died. You avert your eyes and begin moving your hands out of habit, “My father…” You stop yourself and lower your hands. “She,” your voice cracks; it’s hoarse and your throat grimaces at the sensation of speaking. You wipe away your tears. “My father asked her to come along on a dig, years ago. She didn't want to go down; she loved the station yet he persuaded her, and I wasn't old enough to remain on my own so I went as well.” You pause, remembering the details. “We ran into trouble. Dad told us to keep quiet, Cee and I. Mom was back at the campsite. It wasn't far from where we ran into a group trying to hijack Dad’s cache of gems.” You pause again. 

Ezra takes a step forward, “It’s okay, Y/N. You can tell me.”

You look at Ezra; your eyes glazed over with tears. “Because of my voice, she died. If I...if I hadn’t spoken she would still be alive.” You begin to sob, “I had to warn her! I couldn’t lose her. The three of us couldn’t lose her! But Dad…,” your voice becomes incoherent because your sobs are uncontrollable.

Ezra gathers you gently in his arms, hugging you as softly as Cee has always done. He pets your hair soothingly, “It’s not your fault. Never was your fault.” He knows it was her father’s. If it wasn’t for that bastard, Cee and Y/N’s mother would still be alive. He pulls you apart from him. “It was your father’s. And I am sorry you lost her. Sorry, you lost a true parental connection when she was taken away from you.”

You nod profusely, wiping at your tears with the long sleeve shirt you have on. You hated being emotional even for a person of your young age. 

“I promise nothing will happen to you. I will protect you and Cee. You two are the only family I have,” Ezra lopsidedly smiles, pulls faintly back, and looks at you, “and I’ve never really had a family before. So, this is new for me. But I want to let you know, you and your sister will be protected, taken care of.” Ezra searches your eyes, “I am not replacing your parents. They will always be your parents.”

“I know,” you cry softly, finding reassurance in his words.

“Good.” He hugs you again. “The three of us will always have each other.”

And he was right. All three of you had one another, whether on Earth or back in the Great Beyond. The three of you are family and you had the one thing back you thought lost forever - your voice.

[ladyvader23]

Why I Think FanFiction is Important and Should be Normalized

I like to listen to youtube or podcasts while I play video games, usually on informational subjects. The other day I thought, “Maybe there’s some interesting fanfic commentators out there like there are for fiction writers!” 

Oh boy. I was wrong. 

There were a few one off videos. There’s one wonderful channel that I already knew about that talks about it (ColeyDoesThings). But the majority of videos were so negative. They were usually making fun of fics they considered bad or creepy, as if that represents all fanfic.

On top of that, I’ve met a lot of people both online and in real life who are either afraid to admit that they write fanfic, or they think fanfic is weird because of these popular depictions of fanfic in media. 

Before I continue, I think it’s really important to say that it’s totally fine to not want to talk about your writing or reading habits. I had a friend who had to hide writing fanfic because her parents would ground her if she did. I’ve had other friends who just see it as a hobby and they don’t want to draw attention to it, and I’ve had some who hide it because they’re legitimately worried about how people will react. That’s completely valid and I totally support that 100%. Do what makes you happy and safe! 

For me, though, I make it a point to be open about the role fanfiction has in my life. Without fanfiction, I wouldn’t have the job I have, or the friends I’ve made. I wouldn’t feel like me without it. For a long time, fanfiction was the only support I had to pursue who I wanted to be. 

This is my story. 

I have a learning disability. That in itself is a really long story, so to make it short, it made writing really, really difficult. English was consistently my lowest grade throughout my entire childhood and teen years. My English teachers HATED me. I can count...maybe two or three teachers who treated me like my writing had any worth? 

And what was worse is that I didn’t even know what I had to explain it to anyone until halfway through high school. By then, any “help” the school system had ever offered me was tailored to issues I didn’t have, and my mother had to explain every single year to my IEP coordinators what help I actually needed. 

I started writing fanfic probably when I was in seventh grade? It was hand written and was for Final Fantasy 10. I never published it, but I still remember the plot. My first published fanfic was for InuYasha. It was collaborative with my cousin, and it was reaaaaally badly written. I don’t even remember the title, actually, but it was a wild fic. It was my first real opportunity to experience fandom, to hear anything back from readers about what they thought of my writing. And I learned from that experience. I learned even more as I branched out to other fandoms. And because I had readers, it encouraged me to actually practice by writing more. 

While fanfic comments can be negative and unproductive, I’ve had plenty of readers very nicely point out “hey, when someone else starts speaking, that’s a new paragraph.” Literally, I’d NEVER known that before someone said it in a review. I’ve also had people point out good grammar resources that I could use. I had people offer insight on how story structure works and doesn’t work. I learned about giving characters real flaws. I learned about creating conflicts that people actually care about and relate to. Most of these comments weren’t meant to educate, necessarily, but when people reacted a certain way, I wondered, “Why do they feel that way? What did I do right, what did I do wrong? How can I improve?” Then I tried out whatever I learned in a new story or chapter. 

And yeah. Sometimes people just don’t jive with a story, or they’re trolls. But you know what? I learned from that too! I learned how to respond or not respond when people just don’t like what you’ve written and there’s nothing you can really do about it. That’s a skill I’ve translated into other parts of my life outside of writing. 

Through all of this, from my first fanfic to the ones I write now, I’ve learned so much about my writing and about who I am as a person. I’ve had the opportunity to meet so many cool people from all over the world, which in itself has been a seriously positive, life-changing experience! 

But much of my life, I was constantly being told that I couldn’t do it, to not even bother trying. I’d go to school where I had teachers who took one look at my IEP and before they’d even given my writing a chance, treated me like a failure. I once tried to show one of my teachers one of my stories. It was a Twilight fanfic (I was sixteen and it was the height of the craze). I knew my teacher loved Twilight, and I’d seen her make connections with other students over their shared interest. I just wanted to connect with her, too, to show that even though my strength isn’t in what she wanted me to write, I still mattered. I still had a place in her classroom. But I didn’t even finish asking her to read a little before she told me she was “too busy” (and then proceeded to give me an F because I did the entire worksheet, not “just the even number questions.” Like seriously, what?). 

It was really conflicting. On one hand, fanfic was so much fun, I had positive and constructive feedback on my stories, and I felt like I’d improved enough to go toe-to-toe with anyone else naturally gifted in writing. On the other hand, I had every authority figure in my life telling me to not bother. When I went to college, I really wasn’t sure I knew what to do. I had dreams to be a writer, but maybe people online were just being nice and I was better off doing something else. 

But I signed up to major in English anyway, and to my surprise, my college professors were way more supportive. Feedback was actually constructive. I didn’t have any kind of IEP equivalent attached to my name or record, which...brings up a lot of other concerns I have about the American education system because seriously, why are we judging people’s abilities like that??? But for the first time, I felt like I had a real chance. I graduated in English education, and though I left education because I have a lot of issues with how America runs its education system, I still work in a job where I write their entire policy and procedures. I literally write all day, and when I’m done with work, I write either my fanfiction or my own personal WIP. 

If I hadn’t had any of that positive experience with fanfic and the community that surrounds it, I wouldn’t have made the decision to do English as my major in college. I wouldn’t have a job I love. I wouldn’t have the friends I have. I feel like as a whole, I wouldn’t have as much passion as I do for stories...which is a HUGE part of who I am! 

I talk openly and positively about fanfic because there are others out there who might be like me. If all they hear about is how dorky or weird or creepy fanfic is, then that might scare them off. And what if fanfic leads them to supportive, wonderful friends? What if it leads them to a career option that makes them really happy? Or, you know, what if they just want to have a lot of fun and fanfic can do that for them (because you can totally just have fun, you don’t HAVE to learn or get anything else from fanfic)? 

I think we need to normalize fanfiction. Yes, there are negatives, we shouldn’t not address those, but when it’s positive, let’s talk about that! I think this particular site is really good at that, but I mean in real life. Maybe on other platforms too, I don’t know. I just have a lot of feelings about why fanfic is so important, and I just wanted to share my story to at least explain some of that. 

Feel free to add your own experiences, I’d love to hear them from either writers of fanfic or readers! 

[scripttorture]

Not sure if this would really be relevant, but you're the best resource I can think of for prison systems. In a secluded supermax prison with all male staff & all male prisoners, they suddenly get a single (like 19 or 20 y/o) female prisoner who "can't go anywhere else & needs to be kept heavily restrained." What's the warden's best option for making sure she's safe & treated with respect for the first few days/weeks till they can get female guards? Modern setting, mostly American style prison.

I feel like I know enough about this to be helpful but I’ve never claimed to be an expert on prisons and I think you should try to double check what I say. Partly because I think that the ‘best option’ in a case like this would be heavily biased by opinion and what you consider the best outcome to be. I don’t want you to mistake my opinion for fact or discount the idea that you might think differently presented with the same evidence.

 I also think this is the kind of case where there’s a big difference between what should happen and what would likely happen.

 It’s also worth stating at the outset that, in my opinion, the American prison system is set up in a way which inherently makes abuse more likely. And that makes a difference. When the system itself is already set up in a way which makes torture more likely the efforts of individuals within those systems are… less likely to be effective.

 We’re talking about a system where solitary confinement is the first rather then the last resort. Use of solitary confinement over the safe period (1 week) is routine, with prisoners in maximum security facilities often being kept in isolation for months or years.

 Which causes mental health problems to a disabling degree and drastically increases the chances of suicide or self mutilation.

 Rape is still common and while it’s often discussed in terms of attacks by fellow prisoners, a lot of attacks are by guards. Especially when you’re talking about women prisoners and juvenile prisoners. Incidentally it was only in 2012 that the US started recommending against cross-gender searches of women prisoners.

 And a lot of guards in American women’s prisons are men. I found figures of 40% based on data from 2007 and up to 70% for federal facilities from 2011. Both of these were cited figures from books I don’t have full access to. I can’t confidently say how accurate these figures are or how the authors came by them. I can confidently say that there are male guards in female prisons and that this has been linked to abuse (based on the testimony of rape survivors in American prisons).

 While we’re on the subject the kind of restraint use I think you’re referring to is torture. You can find descriptions of its use in Chinese prisons over here.

 Essentially humans are not designed to withstand long periods with little to no movement, or holding the same position for a long time. It is unhealthy. It causes a significant amount of damage to the body. Sometimes it’s lethal.

 Now if you didn’t know this that is OK.

 I’m here because I know a lot of this kind of information isn’t common knowledge and that it’s hard to find. There’s nothing wrong with not knowing something, we all learn sometime.

 We’ll circle back to restraint tortures and alternatives in a moment. For now let’s focus on prisons

 I think that the most likely thing to happen in an American prison is that this character would be thrown in solitary confinement and kept there.

 You can read about how harmful that would be here.

 I also think that it’s unlikely an American prison, having decided to house a woman in a male prison, would hire female guards specifically to accommodate one prisoner. And I think a woman in this environment would be especially vulnerable to physical and sexual abuse.

 You can read about that here.

 There’s an in-depth Reuters investigation on the deaths of women in American jails that you can find here. It contains a graphic description of a dead baby, born in a jail, as well as descriptions of systemic racism towards black women and abuse of the mentally ill. (Seriously if you’re a black woman and pregnant or a mother of a young child don’t read it.)

 If you want to write a female character being put into an institution designed for men in America… that’s what it looks like. Higher rates of preventable deaths.

 Here’s the thing though: You do not have to make the situations in your story as bad as they are in real life.

 There is nothing wrong with deciding that the characters in your fiction get treated with more care and respect then is the norm in real life. It might not be realistic but we are writing fiction.

 And there is a difference between a story which is unrealistic in favour of the torturer and one which is unrealistic in favour of the victim.

 Having said that: If you want to create a fictional, less abusive prison system for this story it will not look anything like an American prison.

 I have… some rather complicated feelings about the idea of setting the story in America and then presenting the prison system as better then it is. Remember that I am a pacifist and I was raised in Saudi Arabia. I say this because I feel as though the abuses in the American prison system are whitewashed in the media America exports.

 If I was writing a story set in Saudi which involved imagining a better, less abusive prison system I’d feel confident my readers would know this didn’t reflect the reality. I feel like they would understand without being told that I was trying to imagine a better version of my home rather then trying to accurately show the prisons there.

 I do not think that would be the case if you did the same thing in an American setting.

 I’ve talked enough about the negatives. Let’s move on to how we can make this idea work.

 The way I see it the big choice here is whether you want to keep the setting and the abusive use of restraints or whether you want the character to be safe and treated with respect while incarcerated.

 If you’re picturing the character being held in a way that renders her more or less completely immobile (like a restraint chair or a bed) then there’s a pretty decent chance she’d die within the first couple of weeks regardless of any other abuse. There’s a reason restraints aren’t commonly used in hospitals and mental health facilities any more: they increase the chances of sudden death. Even in young healthy people.

 There’s a case you can read about here that’s a decent example. Young, 27 year old man, partially restrained for ten days after a mental health episode. Dead from a heart attack in ten days.

 Obviously not everyone who is completely restrained for weeks dies of a heart attack. But bed sores exist. So do bladder infections caused by catheters and muscle wastage and a host of other ailments that are cured by simply letting someone move around.

 Honestly combined with solitary and the high chance of sexual abuse I think that full body restraint is probably throwing too many tortures into the story. Because all of these individually are complex issues and the harm each of them does is routinely downplayed. Handling all of them in the same narrative would be really tough and the restraints are the easiest one to get rid of.

 If you’re picturing something more like the restraint torture (constantly wearing hand and leg cuffs) described in the Chinese case I linked to above, survival is a lot more likely. That’s to do with the degree of movement victims are capable of.

 A person who is immobile with their muscles under strain is in a stress position. The death rates for those rise sharply after 48 hours. A person who is immobile when their muscles aren’t under strain (eg restrained to a bed with six point restraints) is not in a stress position. But they’re at greater risk of a heart attack or stroke and after weeks they’ll start to develop bed sores (assuming they’re not lying in a pool of their own waste.)

 A person who’s restrained in a way that lets them walk, but slowly, lets them stand, but not straight, is experiencing a restraint torture. They probably won’t get kidney failure (the cause of death in stress positions) and they’re less likely to get a heart attack or a stroke.

 There are still serious health effects. Muscle wastage and weakness afterwards is very common. Survivors of this particular torture tend to report chronic pain and joint problems. I’m not entirely sure what causes this but since it’s very consistent I’d guess it’s a physical effect of long term restraint use.

 Survivors also tend to report some mobility problems afterwards. There’s a loss of fine motor control and often some difficulty performing day to day tasks that require raising and lowering the arms. Like putting on a jacket unaided or hanging washing on a line or taking things down from a cupboard above the head. This could be due to nerve damage, damage to muscles or ligaments at the joints or both.

 These sorts of restraints don’t leave victims in a stress position; which is why they can survive for months or more rarely years while restrained (stress positions are only consistently survivable up to 48 hours.) But nonetheless they do leave victims in a constant state of pain. The restraints dig in. The position and inability to straighten is painful, especially for the joints. A lot of victims report being unable to sleep because of the restraints.

 And sleep deprivation causes it’s own problems which you can read about here.

 I might be on the wrong track here but generally no one has to be restrained. So the inclusion of that in the ask made me think this story might have elements of fantasy, sci fi or super hero genres: a character with a special ability that can only be used under certain circumstances.

 I had a problem with something like that in one of my stories recently. The character in question can manipulate how people think and feel using her voice. And I racked my brains trying to think of a way the police in the story could keep her imprisoned once they caught her. I looked up all sorts of sedatives, thought about solitary and all kinds of over the top abusive stuff that fiction teaches us is a go-to practical solution.

 I didn’t want to use them. I didn’t want her to be tortured.

 And then it hit me: her guards could just wear noise cancelling headphones.

 Sometimes the answer really is that simple.

 Think about this character’s power set, if that’s part of the problem here. Really consider what she can do and how she does it. Have you got an underlying chemical process going on? If it’s magic what’s the cause and effect for it? What are her limits? What is her range?

 Use that to think about when the power breaks down and why. And if you’re writing fanfiction based on a canon with poorly defined magical abilities…. Make something up to define how she does what she does.

 Focus and concentration is a commonly used way of doing this. I saw a brilliant program a while back where the main character actually had no idea how his powers worked and was as surprised and elated as everyone else when they did. I try to come up with strict, simple definitions of a character’s powers/abilities. Then I work to try and find inventive ways of applying that. Find a method that works for you and don’t be afraid to try a few different approaches.

 Unless you’ve written yourself into a corner, chances are this character (like mine) doesn’t need to be restrained or isolated.

 And if you have written yourself into a corner, you can write yourself out of it again. Either with the choices you make now or by going back and editing what you already have.

 On a similar note if you want this character to be in a better, less abusive system does she have to be in a male prison and does she really, absolutely have to be in America?

 Because if you want the lowest possible rates of violence and abuse today that means the Scandinavian prison system. You can find out more about it here and here for Norway.

 You can read more about global prison systems here.

 The gist of it is that there are huge systematic differences. Prison guards in Norway are trained for 2-3 years on specially designed course and the ratio of staff to prisoners is almost 1:1. (For contrast in the UK, which is closer to the US system training takes 12 weeks and the ratio is 1:4.) Prison guards in Norway are well paid, facilities are well staffed and guards are allowed generous breaks and holidays.

 This creates a system where staff are not overly stressed, sleep deprived or pressured to achieve unreasonable ‘results’. Training focuses on conflict resolution, this along with a less pressurised working environment this creates a better overall environment for staff and prisoners. Force is really considered a last resort and staff are provided with the tools, training and support necessary to make that a reality.

 There’s also effort put into the physical construction of these facilities: cells aren’t cramped, overcrowded or unsuitable for human habitation.

 I’m not trying to claim these prisons are perfect. There is still a big trend of prolonged solitary confinement use in Norway and other Scandinavian countries. There is still abuse in prisons.

 But- Well I can’t compare directly with US prisons because I didn’t find statistics using similar measures for violent attacks. However I can compare with the UK. With a prison population of about 3,200 Norway had 181 attacks on staff. The UK, with a prison population of 83,300, had a little over 10,000 attacks.

 I think if you really want to write something with the least potential for abuse then you’re better off imagining an international (or explicitly Scandinavian) institution built more along the lines of the Norwegian system.

 If you’ve got your heart set on an American, male prison being the only place this character can be then I think the ‘best’ thing a well intentioned warden in that position could do is throw her in solitary and have her kept on suicide watch.

 The safe period for solitary confinement is about a week.

 After that she’d start to show signs of mental health problems which would get worse the longer she was held. By about the 1-2 month point these problems are probably going to be permanent. Beyond that the chances of self harm and suicide attempts starts to rise. So does the chance she’ll have a psychotic break and start hallucinating. After a year you’re looking at multiple suicide attempts and chances of self mutilation. By which I mean things like trying to destroy your own hands, legs, face etc.

 The decision about what’s right for your story is always yours. You know these characters, the setting and the kind of narrative you’re telling best.

 Pick the options that best fit with what you want from the story and the characters. Because that’s the best decision for the story.

 But if you’re writing about an abusive system don’t gloss over the abuse. If you’re writing about a torturous practice in prisons (like solitary confinement) don’t ignore the life long damage it causes.

 I hope that helps. :)

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