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#why isn’t it Ursula????
viriborne · 1 year
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Azul couldn’t be a more boring villain. If I wanted to hear a manager talk about exploiting the working class, I’d go back to working my first job.
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flippinfins · 11 months
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Soon I’ll have that little mermaid and the ocean will be
MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE
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beskarandblasters · 5 months
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sexfiles.mp3
Tim Rockford x True Crime Podcaster!Reader
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Main Masterlist | Tim Rockford Masterlist
Author’s note: Thank you to @wethairjoel and @theywhowriteandknowthings whose ideas I combined to come up with the title! Banners and dividers are by @saradika!
Summary: You’re a true crime podcaster and you land the interview of your dreams with Detective Tim Rockford. What will happen when you two are alone in the studio after the interview is done?
Word count: 2.7k
Warnings: Reader is able-bodied, F!Reader, uneven power dynamic (Tim is a guest on Reader’s show) pet names, oral sex (M and F receiving), semi public sex (I think), vaginal sex, unprotected sex, cream pie, drinking, no use of y/n
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It’s the morning of what’s about to be the highlight of your career. You’re about to interview the Detective Tim Rockford for your true crime podcast, MysteryMondays.mp3. It’s a Friday, your typical recording day, and you’d typically wear just jeans and a t-shirt of your choice since you’re not on camera and normally recording by yourself. But today’s different. You have a guest joining you, and you’ve had guests on the podcasts before but none of them have been like Tim. You’re dressing to impress. 
Tim Rockford is the lead detective on the case that’s been dubbed the “Grandma Ursula” case. What started as just a simple disappearance of an elderly woman in a small town turned into an overnight sensation where the public learned that she not only faked her disappearance but was also accused of murdering a man. The trial is set to happen in a few weeks so Detective Rockford is coming on your podcast to go over what information has been released to the public. 
You opt for a sweater, a skirt hitting your mid-thigh, and a pair of Doc Martens before leaving the house, mentally hyping yourself up on the drive to the studio. The interview isn’t until two so you have the rest of the morning and the first half of the afternoon to prepare. 
“Don’t you look nice today,” your producer Kendall says when you pass her desk.
“Why thank you.”
“It wouldn’t be because a special guest is coming in later today, would it?”
“Are you insinuating I don’t look nice every day?” you joke. 
“You know what I’m getting at.”
“I just want to look presentable for Detective Rockford, that’s all.”
“Mhm, get your man,” she laughs as you head to your office. 
You spend the first half of your day going over case notes, key points you want to hit, and some background on Detective Rockford’s career. His case history is extensive so you want to be extra prepared. But soon enough it’s time for lunch and then time to make sure the studio is prepared to record. 
“Are you nervous?” Dana, a member of your research team, asks as you’re checking the microphones. 
“A little. I mean, he’s a big deal.”
“For sure. But he seems nice, at least from the interviews I’ve seen on TV.”
“I hope you’re right,” you respond, setting two bottles of water on the table. 
Kendall’s printing out your show notes in the office but you’re gonna do your best to not have to use them. You want to maintain eye contact with him as best as you can. Like Dana, you've seen his TV interviews and you can’t deny that he’s attractive, especially when he’s wearing his shoulder holster. Wouldn’t it be crazy if he wore that to the interview? He definitely won’t but you can dream. 
Kendall comes into the studio with the notes, setting them on the table in between the microphones. She rests a hand on her hip and asks, “You ready?”
“I think. As ready as I'll ever be.”
“Don’t be nervous. He’s just some guy.”
“He’s not just some guy! He’s a well-renowned detective who definitely has better things to do than to be on our silly little show.”
“Oh yeah, he’s not just some guy. I don’t know why I said that,” she laughs. 
“You’re just trying to make me less nervous. But unfortunately, I don’t think that’s gonna happen.”
“You’re gonna do great! You’ve been preparing for this for a long time.”
The door buzzer goes off and ah fuck, he’s here. You glance down at your watch. He’s thirty minutes early. 
“It’s now or never,” Kendall sighs, “I’ll go get him for you.”
You nod and take a deep breath. Dana leaves the studio to grab Josh, your other producer, to finish getting the equipment set up while you head to the bathroom to make sure you’re still looking presentable. You did just eat lunch, after all, gotta make sure nothing’s in your teeth. You pop a mint and head back into the studio to wait where Detective Rockford appears in the doorway, leaning against the frame with a slight smirk on his face. His eyes are fixed on your legs but they snap back up to yours when you take a step towards him and say, “Detective Rockford! It’s so nice to meet you.”
You hold out your hand to shake his and he accepts, resting his other hand on top of yours. No shoulder holster but he’s wearing black pants, black boots, and a white button-down shirt that’s just a little too tight. It doesn’t look bad, though. It just accentuates his chest and his biceps. 
“Please. Call me Tim,” he smiles. 
“Of course, Tim. Thank you so much for coming on the show.”
“Well, thank you for having me. It’s an honor.”
“I think we’re all set to record if you’re ready.”
“All set,” he smiles. 
You lead him back to the recording table where he takes a seat across from you. Kendall and Josh are on the other side of the glass, wearing their headsets and giving the green light to start whenever you’re ready. 
“Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of MysteryMondays.mp3! I’m joined by a special guest today, Detective Tim Rockford! Thank you so much for coming on the show, Tim.”
“Thanks for having me. I was excited when your team reached out to me.”
He’s probably just saying that to be polite but it made your heart jump a little, the thought of him getting excited to be on your show. 
“So Tim, tell us what’s been like to be the lead detective on what the internet has dubbed the Grandma Ursula case?”
“Extremely busy. There’s been lots of ups and downs in this case. I can’t even tell you how many leads I’ve looked at.”
“This case started with a disappearance, right?”
“Ursula herself went missing for roughly thirty days. But we now have information that leads us to believe that she faked her disappearance.”
You want to glance down at your show notes but you resist, doing everything in your power to keep your eyes locked onto Tim’s warm brown gaze. 
“And now she's a suspect in the murder of Darius Cage?”
“She’s actually been charged with the murder.”
“Oh yes, that’s right! The trial is set to begin in three weeks.”
“Mhm.”
“You’re about to get even busier,” you joke. 
“I am. You’re lucky you snagged me when you did,” he says, shooting you a wink. 
Fuck. 
The rest of the interview goes smoothly without any hiccups. You barely had to use your show notes and Tim proved to be a natural in the recording studio. One thing you noticed about him is that he’ll maintain eye contact with you and then all of a sudden his gaze shifts down to your lips, watching them as they move before locking his eyes back with yours. He did that several times throughout the interview. 
You’re just about to wrap up today’s recording session before you hit him with one final question. 
“So what do you think Ursula was doing with all those knives?”
“Ask me again in a few weeks,” he says, winking at you again. 
That fucker. 
“Well, thanks for tuning in to this week’s episode of MysteryMondays.mp3! Be sure to subscribe to us on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. And thanks again to Detective Rockford for joining us! See you next week everybody!”
“And that’s a wrap!” Kendall says. 
“Great episode guys. You talked for almost three hours!” Josh says. 
You and Tim look at each other and laugh. 
“Oops,” you say. 
You check your watch and it’s pushing five o’clock. Everybody should be going home soon. 
“I could’ve sat and talked to you for another three hours,” Tim chuckles. 
You feel your cheeks go hot at his words. You glance over at Kendall and Josh and then back down again at your watch. 
“Why don’t you guys go home? I’ll lock up for the day.”
“Are you sure?” Kendall asks. 
“I’m sure. I don’t want to keep you guys any longer. Tell Dana she can go home, too.”
Her face shifts into a smirk and she says, “Okay. Let me know when you’re home,” before grabbing her stuff. She shoots you another knowing look and a wave before disappearing through the doorway with Josh. 
And now it’s just you and Tim, alone in the studio. It makes your stomach all swirly being here alone with him but you know nothing’s going to happen. You rise from your chair and get ready to pack up for the day but Tim stops you. 
“I meant what I said.”
“Oh really?” 
“Mhm. Stay and talk for a bit.”
“Okay,” you smile, sitting back down. You scooch your chair in closer and place your elbow on the table, resting your head in your hand. 
You spend God knows how long talking about your career and his, cracking jokes, and having a good time. Throughout the conversation, you’re inching closer and closer to each other. He keeps doing that thing where his eyes drift from your eyes down to your lips and back up. You can’t take it anymore. He has to be flirting with you, right?
Something comes over you and you just… You lean forward and kiss him. He’s stunned at first but he melts into your touch. But reality sets in for you and you pull away, profusely apologizing. 
“Oh my God?? I’m so sorry. That was unprofessional of me. I’m-”
“Took you long enough.”
“Huh?”
“Honey, there were several times I thought you were gonna do that during the interview.”
“What?”
“Don’t play dumb, honey. I know you want me. The feeling’s mutual.”
Your brain is short-circuiting, unable to form a complete sentence. And he can sense that, leaning forward and continuing to kiss you. Part of you wants to stop, telling yourself that this is a bad idea. It’s unprofessional and bad for your career on so many levels. But the pleasure-driven part of you is telling you to keep going, telling you to fulfill your fantasy. 
His large hands caress your face and the kiss grows more passionate. He nips your bottom lip with his teeth and a small moan escapes your mouth. He moves along your jawline, stopping at your ear. 
“I bet you want me as bad as I want you,” he whispers, his warm breath tickling your ear.
“Mhm,” you respond, your voice breathy and high-pitched. 
“On the table, honey,” he says. 
You do as you’re told, rising from your chair and lying down on the table in between the microphones. Your legs hang off the edge and Tim hikes up your skirt, spreading your thighs apart. He sinks to the floor, pushing your panties to the side. His breath tickles you again as he marvels at how wet you are already.
“So wet already, huh? Just from sitting and talking to me? That’s all it takes?”
You feel your chest and the tips of your ears heat up in embarrassment but it doesn’t last long because he licks one long, slow stripe up your cunt. He moves his tongue to your clit, swirling circles around it as he hooks his arms around your thighs. He’s flush against your face as he eats you out, your wetness coating his face thanks to you writhing against him. In no time, you’re coming against his face, back arching up off the table. He hums into you as he tastes your release, lapping up every last drop.
“Fuck, honey. You taste so good,” he praises, coming up by your face after you’re done coming.  
“Th-thanks,” you breathe out. You catch your breath for a moment before realizing… You have to suck his cock, like now.
You sit up from the table, prompting him to ask, “What are you doing?”
“In the chair, Detective,” you smirk.
He catches your drift and undoes his belt before sitting in his chair. You rest on your knees, unzipping the fly of his pants and pulling his already hard cock out. 
You waste no time, swirling your tongue around the head, just slow enough to drive him insane, before taking his length in your mouth. He curses under his breath, returning his hands to each side of your face like he did when he was kissing you earlier. You wrap one hand around the base of his cock while you bob your head up and down, feeling him grow even harder in your mouth. 
“Fuck,” he curses, louder than before. 
“But not so fast, honey,” he says, pulling your mouth off of him, “Gonna cum in that sweet pussy of yours.”
You nod eagerly, getting up off the floor and bending over the table without being told to do so. 
“Good girl,” he praises, situating himself behind you. He aligns himself with your entrance and enters you slowly, grabbing your hips with his hands. 
He thrusts in and out of you unforgivingly, his cock stretching your walls. Soon enough the studio is filled with the lewd sound of skin slapping against skin. 
“Fuck, honey. You’re so wet,” he moans, slamming into you harder on the last word.
“Fuck, Tim. You’re so big.”
“Mmm, I bet you like that. You like me stretching you out?”
“Fuck, yes!” you cry out, feeling the head of his cock, brush against your cervix.
You’re on the edge of orgasm but you knew you weren’t going to last long. 
“I’m gonna cum,” you whine.
“Let me feel it, honey.”
Your walls flutter around him and tears spring in the corners of your eyes. It’s hard to believe this is even happening, right in your studio. But it is and it’s intense. Your orgasm triggers his own and he paints your insides with his release. When you’re both done coming down from your high he pulls out of you, standing up straight and putting his cock away.
“That was… amazing,” you breathe out, standing upright and smoothing down your skirt.
He nods and goes in to kiss you. You’re feeling awkward all of a sudden, not knowing what to say. 
“Well, uh, the episode will be up on Monday.”
“Really? You’re talking business now?”
“Listen! What do you want me to say?”
“How about “I’d love to see you again, Tim”?” he smirks.
“Of course, I’d love to.”
“Much better,” he says, kissing you again.
You go to lead him out of the studio but before you leave you check the equipment to make sure everything’s powered off. And that’s when you notice something strange. There’s the audio file of you’re interview but there’s also another file that’s still ongoing.
“Oh my god.”
“What?”
“The mics were on the whole time.”
He bursts out into laughter meanwhile you’re horrified. You stop the recording and without thinking you grab a thumb drive and move the file onto it. 
“What are you doing?”
“Moving this so no one else listens to it.”
“Ah, our dirty little secret.”
“Emphasis on secret.”
He laughs again. “Don’t be so serious. That’s kinda hot you have that.”
You take a deep breath and he kisses your temple.
“Come on, sounds like you need a drink to loosen up.”
You take him up on his offer, locking up the office before meeting him at a bar downtown. The evening ends with you having sex with him again. But when you part ways the next morning he tells you, “I’d love to come back on the show again.”
“I’d like that, too,” you nod.
You exchange numbers, kiss him goodbye, and head home, thinking about what you’re going to tell Kendall when you see her on Monday. Or maybe you won’t tell her. It is your dirty little secret after all. 
-
Monday rolls around and you still haven’t said anything to Kendall. You’re pretty sure she left the equipment recording on purpose but you pretend to know nothing when she shoots you a knowing look and a smirk.
But it’s the afternoon now and the episode’s just dropped. 
As soon as it’s live you get a text from Tim reading:
Can’t wait to listen to the show. Maybe we can listen to our own episode sometime this week after drinks xx
Yeah, you’re definitely seeing him again this week. 
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End note: I said to myself several times while writing this “I can’t believe I’m writing Merge Mansion fanfiction rn” 😭😭😭
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frenchgremlim1808 · 1 month
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Why Midori is such a breath of fresh air or how to actually write a Villain.
So the awaited essay, the winner of the FrenchGremlin polls of laziness finally has come! It took some time but it’s finally over. If your choice didn’t get chosen that’s okay! I’ll repost a new poll with old and newer options. Please reblog this one i put a lot of time in it, it's like, five pages long over a silly goose. Also sorry for the grammar i sucks and i'm not native. So let’s begin:
(also here is the link to the video format)
So first let’s make things clear, What IS a villain?
“A villain is a character whose evil actions or motives are important to the plot.” That is why I do want to make a difference between a villain and an antagonist, an antagonist is a character who are a plot devices that creates obstruction to the protagonist. That means that a villain is forced to be an antagonist while an antagonist is not forced to be a villain. For example shin is an antagonist but not a villain, he is driven by selfish desires which are themselves fueled by fear anger and loss, he is the protagonist of his own story and is a sympathetic character despite it all, and Midori is just a bitch. Midori falls under multiple stereotypes of villains. Such as “the mastermind”, “evil incarnate” (lmao),”related to the protagonist” etc. Midori is evil, there is no denying in this, he is purely evil, and he doesn’t have a sad weepy backstory, he doesn’t feel empathy towards other, he is a despicable piece of shit who ruined so many lives. I won’t list everything but here is a list of his crimes, murder, assault, domestic abuse, grooming, verbal abuse, and torture, crimes against humanity lmao, stalking, violent crimes, and participation in a cult. And his worst crime is being a pussy bitch of course. So now that we have put the bases up let’s really begin.
Hollywood has a hate boner against villains and I hate them for that.
Recently Hollywood decided that pure evil bad guys is actually a bad thing, so now they decided to do stupid side story with them, to give them ”””depth””” since I guess how could we like those villains since they are bad. A great example of this is the Disney remakes which I loathe so much oh god I hate them. So first they did a maleficient it was okay honestly, then they did a freaking cruella movie where her mom gets killed by Dalmatians, that’s not a joke, in the peter and wendy movie that nobody saw they decided to have made the captain hook be a lost boy who was abandoned by the lost boys and peter, oh also they decided that PETER CUT HIS HANDS OFF AND LEFT HIM TO DIE BECAUSE HOOK WANTED TO SEE HIS FAMILY. They are going to do a freaking mufasa movie, in no time I can’t wait to have a Ursula movie where it’s discovered that ariel killed all of her family in cold blood or something’s. So you might say what’s the problem? I mean isn’t that supposed to make the story more interesting. No, no it doesn’t, because first they take all of the character personality traits and throw them in the bin, second they are supposed to be the vilain in a musical animated movies, I am not against complex villain, I love them, but by doing this, the original character doesn’t exist anymore. Just create original content with new interesting characters instead of doing stuff like this. Also it’s kind of funny than in all of those interpretation they take all the fun and sucks it out, what do I mean by fun, the gayness, Disney vilain are fun because they are camp, they are fabulous extravagant extra in all the ways possible, and that’s the reason we liked them. Not every character needs something super deep, like “my family was burned down at the stake and my dog was eaten by my ex”, sometimes we just like bad fun people, they are the story, and Hollywood hating them so bad just bothers me a lot. Also now the new thing is to not have a villain at all which can works in some narrative but not all of them, it gets boring after a while. In the past people were angry that villains are bland, but now I kind of miss it. While I will critique villains who have no purpose outside of being evil that’s dumb, like for example Voldemort is bland like white bread because his only motivation is being evil, but evil people do exist compared to what some Hollywood writers think, they should know. So that’s why I will put a difference between evil villains and villains whose only purpose is being evil; we loved Disney villains but they still had motivations, goals, reasons that to them a least were worth everything. World domination isn’t enough, why do you want world domination, what is the true reason deep in your heart, is it an inferiority complex, is it a savior complex fuelled by xenophobic beliefs.
That is how to write a pure evil villain, evil people exist all over the world, but I have never seen one who doesn’t have they own reasons to be so bad, it doesn’t excuse their actions nor really explains them. We do not want justifications we want explanations. If you are justifying evil behavior then do it, but don’t claim that it is a pure evil character. A pure evil character can be fun, can be interesting, he can be deep, it’s all about balancing all of their traits to truly make them greats. Which is why midori succeeds while current villains fail. Current stupid remake/spin off try to justify the behavior because they feel like this is what the audience wants, but it’s not what we need. So I will defend to the grave evil villains.
Creating an evil villain doesn’t make them boring guys.
Why the heck does big budget movies have either the blandest protagonist or the blandest villains sometimes both, like I said evil people do exist but comically evil character only works in satire not in a serious multiple millions of dollar movie. Example that boring ass avatar movie, the one with blue people, none of the characters are interesting the villain is one note. The lords of the rings also suffers from that, but I don’t care because the protagonist are so awesome that sauron being personality less doesn’t matter. Also sauron is more of a force of nature villains so it’s not the same. The recent kingsman movie has a bland one note villain, there is nothing entertaining, funny, about him he’s just evil, borrrrring. Every Disney remakes depiction of the characters are boring. I just feel bored out of my mind. Atla one of my favorite shows of all time has a main villain that’s kinda one note, Ozai, but he is actually intimidating guy, azula is the superior character, but I wouldn’t consider her a villain she is an antagonist though. I honestly don’t get why Hollywood thinks that just creating a character with no personality and whose only goals is to be evil is good.
So back to midori for a second, here is my question, when midori was on screen did you ever feel bored? Never right! Because despite midori being an evil character he has an actual personality, he’s fun, you want to punch him in the balls. Because midori has other personality traits than evil, midori is petty, childish, extremely intelligent, controlling, a natural manipulator, he is a trickster, he doesn’t seem to get some social norms, he is narcissistic, easily angry, and fears death etc See how I counted a lot of traits, traits that in other character would works, midori has positive traits, and I think that is the best thing nankidai could have ever done, midori has traits that a regular person could have. Which is why if I put midori in any settings his character would work.
Example, instead of a death game the cast is under the sea to discover the insane wildlife and supernatural stuff happening, what would midori do in this situation? Well he would very passionate about finding all of what’s happening, he’ll do anything to find out, even sometime sacrificing others, not only will he try to find what’s happening, but he is also going to try to find a way to make this discovery favour him in the end. Or let’s imagine it’s a vampire situation, where a vampire attacks  the city, midori would try to stop it, not because he cares, but to experiment on them to get their biology and finds the real secret of immortality since he fears death.
Here is my second advice, after creating your character try to imagine them in another completely different situation, like normal life, or a fantasy world, ask yourself the question what would they do in that environment? If you can find a real complete explanation of their actions then yes your character has multiples dimensions if not try thinking about it again. Some example of questions I do want to point out are some like “if my character had all the power in the world what would they do first or”, “if my character had only a day left to live what would they do”
Why is Current media incapable of creating good threats like bruhhhh.
Okay so first of all let’s talk about stakes in a story, let’s say you are watching a slasher movie, slowly the cast gets slimmed down and people die in horrible ways, that should set stakes right ? Well if the villain is an absolute buffoon who makes the stupidest actions and decisions in the world, you wouldn’t feel intimidated at all because despite what the filmmaker might try to say the plot armor will NEVER make a character intimidating. It’s just like a detective character who just seems to know everything without a thought, well you won’t really fear the character failing. Worse is the the final girl, who is for some reason always escaping the slasher guy by pure luck every time, she is shown as incompetent but still she survives, which make the villain seem completely incapable so now you feel nothing.
To avoid this filmmaker often use techniques such has unpredictability, I mean good I mean good ones, for example instead of immediately seeing whose going to survive because the black guys always dies first and the virgin white woman is the last survivor, change the status quo, make us think that this character is obviously safe while they actually aren’t at all. Or actually make them menacing by SHOWING to the audience how horrible dangerous they can be. Which is why SHOW DON’T TELL is so important, telling us how dangerous someone can be only to see them get beaten to death at the end of the movie makes us feel nothing.
Midori felt like a impossible person to beat, he is smart, had twenty plans in advance, even in situation where the cast felt like they might have a chance he was always armed, just like the gun he promised to use or the rocket punch. When they felt like they were finally advancing, he put obstacle in their ways, such as the collar game or the moment he put the collar on explode mode for  ranmaru. The entire point in the murder game was to make time pass, it took a long time for the cast top realize that this whole time they were losing precious time not realizing that the dummies were the real problem. The characters that made you feel the most hopeless were the dummies, if you won by killing midori they would die, but if you lost you might lose people you love (keiji or gin). It felt hopeless because they were no solutions in the end. That creates tension so that creates stakes. If we were told how dangerous unpredictable sou was then it wouldn’t hit the same, we are shown that he is that terrible. There is a scene ingame where bbg shin ai tells us that midori tortured and like to destroy people. That’s exposition so TELL, but do you why it works, because we are SHOWN before his behavior. Midori felt unbeatable, so the fact that we were shown his weakness such has his petty behavior, hatred of minors, and fear of death, for the first time it feels like there is a chance that we might survive this. And still after he isn’t shown has an incompetent buffoon, he is one, but the narrative doesn’t show us that he is.
What is also consider is good to make the audience feel actual stakes is to first really develop well the main characters, how can we feel worry for a character if we don’t know them, the audience need to feels emotional connection to the main cast to actually care. You can use things such has moments where there is nothing special happening just character talking getting to know them. Make us feel why we need to care about them possibly losing, instead of being indifferent. Or I don’t know maybe make an entire spin off game where we get to have the cast talk to each other and seeing dynamics between character that died early to get them a chance to shine and make their death even more tragic, or even make mini episodes of characters who only got a single chapter to show off their characteristic, to get us to know them better? But that’s just a silly idea of course, wink, and wink.
My favorite thing about Midori is that he is actually pathetic, like really pathetic, but weirdly realistic?
Midori is the most pathetic character in the cast, yes more than shin, shin is leagues less pathetic. No I’m not saying that midori is not intimidating or scary, I would piss myself if I saw him. He’s a scary guy. But if you look at him more closely you can see that he is a baby brat in a big boy suit.
So let’s start by something clear, Sou Hiyori clearly displays antisocial behavior, or in common terms he is a psychopath/sociopath, this illness is very badly seen in medias, I am not saying that people who lacks empathy like him are inherently bad, he is, a lot of people with antisocial behavior actually suffers a lot and have a difficult life. Sou real issues is not his antisocial behavior, it’s his narcissism and god complex. Sou feels the need to HAVE CONTROL over others, he like the feeling of being in power, he sees the rest of the world has beneath him, toys for his pleasure. He says that he “really like humans” because despite it all he seems to put himself in a different categories than regular people, they are beneath him. When he loses control his calm and cool behavior disappears and we see his true face, a grown man who has throws a tantrum like a baby. One of the best representation of this is midori views on the cast:
Midori hates kanna, like no jokes he has beef with her, a fourteen years old, actually he has beef with a lot of people in the cast. Midori views emotional people has weak, people who are loving optimistic as beneath him and useless. He preferred when sara was cruel and horrible, that’s what he loved about her, he liked seeing her scary emotionless side. But Kanna, kanna is everything he hates. A crybaby who not only puts the group in harmony, is a source of hope in general, is the reason he near got to have closure with shin (killing him), he views kanna as “not fun shin”. We have many proofs for this, if you type the word kanna kizuchi he says this: “Poor Kanna'd weep! I think a more worthless name would be better for someone like me” He mocks her, but also himself (I’lll come back on this later), he calls her worthless. Also in the electric charge minigame, when he can choose who to shocks he chooses two people in particular, kanna who he hates and hinako who ruined his fun by giving the cast a chance in saving ranmaru. But he does also says mean spirited stuff to other people, qtaro and gin. He also says some sarcastic comments about nao and joe, saying that it’s such a shame that they died so young. But you might say why kanna especially? Because he is a petty baby who is jealous of kanna, Yes jealous, of kanna, a fourteen years old. Because he feels like she stole his hubby wubby shin away from him…. God I hate him. And you know what that make him a pathetic idiot, after the scene where kanna beats his ass, he’s all mad and like “uhh I’m going to pout I wanted you to cry like a lot, now I’m gonna cry”. An that’s actually god, because it humanize him, he wants need thoughts, he isn’t one note, and that’s the most important!
Sou is a villain but before that he is a character, a fully developed character, and THAT’S WHAT MAKE HIM GREAT, Sou works because he works realistically, I mean if you forget the robot part, it’s easy to imagine a narcissist man child who needs to feel in power towards other, so his main prey are young vulnerable people.Which leads me to my next point:
Sou is a failure like really, and we aren’t sad for him.
Sou failed everything he worked on, he failed to get the paper from alice, he failed whith shin since he had to leave earlier than he thought he would leave, because of his mistake he lost his position in the death game, then he failed to kill gin or keiji, and then he died like an idiot losing his cool and acting like a toddler. And he knows it that why he is a bit self-hating (he should be). And yet none of us feel any sympathy towards him, why? Because sou is one of the most despicable guy in existence. He is a disgusting pervert, sadistic asshole, and abusive narcissistic cunt who thinks he is better than everyone. From the bottom of my heart I hate him sooooo much he is literally the character I hate the most in existence. He abused shin, ruined keiji’s life, traumatized the entire cast, literally assaulted sara like he physically assaulted her. He mocked nao and joe and kugie life as useless. He is an obsessive jerk AND I HATE HIM. And you know what…… It’s good. Like I actually feel a lot of emotions when I think about him, he fuels me with anger and disgust, and if your characters can make me feel that much rage then you did it, you created an actual perfect character. Hiyori is such a shit person that I think about him a lot, writers shouldn’t be scared to make a character such hittable assholes, example bojack horseman in bojack horseman is the vilest man on earth and I love it, because I genuinely hate him. Just like I genuinely love kanna, like really I really love her, I in the same time despise midori so bad. We hate him because he is horrible to good people that WE KNOW AND CARE ABOUT, not random npcs. There is a lot of… disgusting implications in his story with shin that I will not talk about it makes me really uncomfortable right now. SO HERE IS A VERY TACKY TRANSITION TO TALK ABOUT WHY I HATE JUNKO FROM DANGANRONPA.
Junko is boring, that’s it, she is boring, not funny not interesting, she is a fetish, she is the biggest Mary sue on earth, she is a gross character made to make fun of people with disabilities and queer people. Her only traits is being crazy, that’s it. I wouldn’t call midori that crazy actually, he’s methodical calculated, and precise. Crazyness is a term for people who aren’t in control of their actions and delusional about reality, sou is not crazy, he knows what he is doing, he is in full control, while characters like shin should actually be consider crazy, like shin is actually crazy but sou isn’t.
Conclusion:
Sou is a breath of fresh air, because nankidai had the balls to write an actually interesting deep and threatening character AND make him a villain. He didn’t fall into the trap of making him have a sad backstory or good motives, sou is just selfish, that’s all he is. He make him a fun entertaining guy who you absolutely hates, he made him threatening and at the same time a complete doofus. He made him humane and pathetic.
But the thing that make me love nankidai the most is this
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The fact that he actually killed him that takes courage as a writer to just end a character THAT WAY, which is why midori will never come back alive he is forever dead. And that take a lot of talents as a writer to just take one of the most important characters and just get him drilled to death in the anus, like dammn nankidai you are a savage. That fact alone makes him one of the best characters in game, I hate him as a person, but has a character he is a masterpiece.
Though Kanna could solo him
this was posted as a video on my blog this is mainly so people who don't want to stay there reading a 24 minute video of my stuttering can have a bit of quiet
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The world of scavengers reign is a world of pure mutualism. The show never asks “should we isolate ourselves from nature or connect with it” because that’s a false question; there is nothing BUT connection, there is no form of life outside of the ecosystem. Whether they can see it or not, every character becomes part of the planet the second they touch down.
The question then is what their connections will look like: if it will be mutually beneficial, parasitic towards one side or the other, or harmful to both.
I’ve seen people read Kaimen and hollow’s relationship as either kaimen “corrupting” hollow or hollow “manipulating” kaimen. But the truth is their relationship is just a noxious, unstable feedback loop. Neither party is really “in control”, they’re following the guidelines of an evolved relationship that was never meant for creatures as large and emotionally complex as humans to be part of. It’s the same process that occurs with the introduction of any invasive species: simple relationships shift in unstable ways, niches swap places and gain unexpected importance, and the health of the whole ecosystem is put in jeopardy through the lack of sustainability. The truth is that the strange, lovecraftian nightmare Kaimen and hollow create together is bad for BOTH parties. It’s the worst case scenario of the introduction of humanity onto the planet; not humanity “corrupting” some ideal, static image of perfect nature, but the relationship between the two making things worse for everyone.
It’s why one to stop Kaimen/hollow has to be Levi. Whose mutual relationship with the fungus in their circuitry has created something new and beautiful. Something we see has LONG TERM affects on the planet itself with the little baby planet Levis now growing from the flowers. This isn’t the case of nature “claiming” Levi. This is a collaboration, a partnership, something that utterly transforms both sides. It really seems like the death flowers form in some way the “mind” of the whole planet. And Levi has given that mind the artificial circuitry to think on a far higher and more active level than it was ever able to previously. It’s why hollow wasn’t able to control them. Trying to wrangle levis mind is like trying to hold a whole planet in your hands. Something wild and new and beautiful has been created here.
But these transformation can be scary! Sam’s fight with the parasite, paired with his prior skepticism at trying to “understand” the planet the way Ursula was, leaves him unable to adapt. Forced to either lose himself in the process of assimilation, or die separated from it. And again, the show doesn’t take for granted that these mutual connections are “good”. They’re necessary. Sam cannot live separate from nature. But for him, that death was still better than allowing it to change him so fundamentally. His strong willed nature makes him unable to let go the way Levi or Kaimen do, and the result is he doesn’t experience good OR bad results. He’s to brittle to allow for change. He simply ceases.
And so they you have Ursula and Azi. Who are both forced to learn and grow with the planet. Forced to follow the flow of nature even when it takes them places they don’t quite want to be. While at the same time finding little ways to exert their own agency, to not get swept away in the tide. And it’s a complicated balance. One that takes constant effort and isn’t guaranteed to end how they want. But they still have to do it. Because there’s nothing but connection.
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ceruleancattail · 9 months
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Ok so, yandere azul thought.
Many people say that he'd get you into a contract with no clause out and although I have to agree with making a contract (after all if he can legally secure your soul, then your heart is sure to follow) BUT I think he would put a exit clause.
Except!!!! that clause would be inherently impossible. After all, when we look at Ursula, she gives Ariel the near impossible task of getting a "true loves kiss" in three days, otherwise she belongs to Ursula.
I very much think that Azul would also go this route, giving an impossible task to flaunt the power he has over you and to help you realize that you are his, and you technically *did* have a way out, but you failed it so its your fault you're stuck with him.
And what? Nooooo, Floyd and Jade totally did not sabotage you're entire quest to freedom upon Azuls command!!
In general he goes through a big convoluted plan to ensure that he has you and you won't escape. What can he say? He's a overthinker after all
He just loves to flaunt his victory, doesn’t he? Rubbing it in your face, that sly smile dripping with venom. Oh, Azul would be all nice about it. Sickeningly so.
A sympathetic expression, that comes of more patronising then anything. Patting your shoulder in an attempt to console. Despite his little show, Azul just can’t quite hide the grin spreading across his lips.
You see, there’s always a certain satisfaction that comes with a win, isn’t there? The high that hits your soul once you set down the final chess piece, the clunk of wood on wood sealing your opponent’s fate.
In this case, the swish of paper whipped out from his coat. The contract. Your eyes flicker upwards, seething with rage. The flames of defiance burning deep within, directed towards Azul.
My, why so cold?
The terms were discussed, and quite readily accepted by you. Azul’s finger traces your signature, dancing across the page. He taps it lightly, beaming at you.
It was a simple task. A piece of cake, for any Night Raven College Student. After all, for one to enter this prestigious college, that person must possess at least a silver of magic, no?
Oh… pardon him. It slipped his mind. You’re not just any student, are you? The Ramshackle prefect… the beast tamer of NRC.
A magic-less, helpless person.
Azul’s doing you a favour, really. Taking you into the service of Octavinelle out of the goodness of his heart. Principal Crowley doesn’t seem to be too interested in your well-being, does he?
You’ll be safer with him, really. Azul will be sure to make… good use of your talents.
You can’t talk your way out of this one, pearl. Just submit. Submit to him.
He promises that he’ll treat you well.
After all, you belong to him now.
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nessa007 · 9 months
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it really amazes me that there’s a small handful of people who think eric was only in love with ariel because of her song. sebastian said ariel used her “siren song” to save eric. it didn’t make him fall in love with ariel. the whole point of the movie is that eric falls in love with ariel because of who she is and not her voice. it makes sense that eric wanted to find out who rescued him but he fell head over heels in love with ariel without her saying a single word to him when they were spending time together during their day out (while he had no idea she is the one who rescued him). grimsby told him to go for the person who is in front of him (ariel) and stop focusing on the mystery girl who, for all they know, may not even exist. eric didn’t even seem disappointed when grimsby said they had no luck finding the mystery girl that day.
eric was running to go tell ariel how he feels but then ursula bewitched him using ariel’s voice which she had used in a bewitching spell. she added ariel’s voice into a spell, ariel’s voice itself isn’t bewitching. if ariel’s voice alone made him fall in love then he would’ve been totally and completely in love and focused on vanessa/ursula and forgotten about ariel but he wasn’t/didn’t. if you were paying attention you can clearly see how eric is so confused and conflicted to being drawn to ursula while under this spell. he wasn’t himself and he even knew he wasn’t himself and wasn’t sure why he was feeling this way. unlike in the animation where eric totally forgot about ariel while under the spell, eric’s feelings for ariel are so strong and were fighting with ursula’s spell. he was still so concerned about ariel and worried about her having left the castle. as soon as ursula’s spell was broken eric is still very much in love with ariel because his feelings are 100% real and genuine.
another thing is the writers changed the story of the original so that ariel forgot she had to get eric to kiss/fall in love with her, so their relationship was always real and genuine.
AND did you see ursula’s reaction when eric went over to ariel after he realised it was ariel who rescued him? she yelled at him to get away from ariel because she knew damn well that eric’s feelings for ariel are real and it is true love and if he kissed her in that moment just before the sun set then ariel would stay human and ursula’s plan to keep ariel and take down her father would be ruined.
so, yeah, eric fell well and truly in love with ariel for real
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bagofbonesmp3 · 2 years
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“But there are no wars in Earthsea. No soldiers, no armies, no battles. None of the militarism that came from the Arthurian saga and other sources and that by now, under the influence of fantasy war games, has become almost obligatory.
I didn’t and don’t think this way; my mind doesn’t work in terms of war. My imagination refuses to limit all the elements that make an adventure story and make it exciting—danger, risk, challenge, courage—to battlefields. A hero whose heroism consists of killing people is uninteresting to me, and I detest the hormonal war orgies of our visual media, the mechanical slaughter of endless battalions of black-clad, yellow-toothed, red-eyed demons.
War as a moral metaphor is limited, limiting, and dangerous. By reducing the choices of action to “a war against” whatever-it-is, you divide the world into Me or Us (good) and Them or It (bad) and reduce the ethical complexity and moral richness of our life to Yes/No, On/Off. This is puerile, misleading, and degrading. In stories, it evades any solution but violence and offers the reader mere infantile reassurance. All too often the heroes of such fantasies behave exactly as the villains do, acting with mindless violence, but the hero is on the “right” side and therefore will win. Right makes might.
Or does might make right?
If war is the only game going, yes. Might makes right. Which is why I don’t play war games.
To be the man he can be, Ged has to find out who and what his real enemy is. He has to find out what it means to be himself. That requires not a war but a search and a discovery. The search takes him through mortal danger, loss, and suffering. The discovery brings him victory, the kind of victory that isn’t the end of a battle but the beginning of a life.”
– Ursula K. LeGuin, A Wizard of Earthsea's afterword
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laios-thorden · 9 months
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To them [people who don't read horror] it is a kind of pornography, inducing horripilation instead of erection. And the reader who appears to relish such sensations-why he's an emotional masochist, the slave of an unholy drug, a decadent psychotic beast.
-David Aylward
horror is about catharsis. it is about experiencing fear or pain or shame or suffering via a piece of media, and being able to sigh in relief when it is done. it is about emotion and flesh and the human condition.
the point of the genre of horror is to inflict the emotion called "fear" or the related emotions "discomfort," "disgust" and "shame." if you do not want to experience and explore negative emotions and the stories that they can tell, you do not actually want to engage with horror. the point of horror is that it might make you feel bad or upset or, god forbid, scared. there are stories that rely on that and it doesn't make horror a lesser medium for narrative than any other genre. it just means that you personally might not enjoy horror.
it's fine to not like horror, but don't pretend like it's something it's not because it makes you uncomfortable.
a lot of takes about horror i see are like, "why doesn't horror have x, y, or z" and the answer is it does. you aren't engaging with the medium or searching out stories that have those things because you don't want to deal with the trappings of the genre (being scared/experiencing negative emotions). liking one piece of horror media doesn't mean engaging with the genre as a whole with all its tropes, trappings, and its rich and varied history.
Ursula K Le Guin writes,
A writer sets out to write science fiction but isn’t familiar with the genre, hasn’t read what’s been written. This is a fairly common situation, because science fiction is known to sell well but, as a subliterary genre, is not supposed to be worth study—what’s to learn? It doesn’t occur to the novice that a genre is a genre because it has a field and focus of its own; its appropriate and particular tools, rules, and techniques for handling the material; its traditions; and its experienced, appreciative readers—that it is, in fact, a literature. Ignoring all this, our novice is just about to reinvent the wheel, the space ship, the space alien, and the mad scientist, with cries of innocent wonder. The cries will not be echoed by the readers. Readers familiar with that genre have met the space ship, the alien, and the mad scientist before. They know more about them than the writer does.
the same is true for horror; people who do not engage with horror as a medium, as a genre, as a way to tell stories and convey meaning do not get to reinvent the wheel. doing so won't be met with gratitude by people who do like horror. it's not helpful. it's condescension.
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of course
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***Spoilers for the Stitch summer event below the cut!***
Of coooourse Azul and Floyd jump on the opportunity to extort their classmates while they’re stranded on a deserted island 😭 Such an Ursula moment when Azul asks the group what they’re willing to do to be rescued… 😭 Not Floyd suggesting they all be Octa’s errand boys until the end of time 😭 AnD NOT hIM CALLiNG AzUL NICE FOR LOWERInG iT TO “just” A WEEk???? 😭 Why are fish like this—
This is even funnier when you look back at Birthday Union/Jacket vignettes, where some characters are asked “If you could bring one person with you on a deserted island, who would you choose?”. Of the 6 characters featured in Lost in the Book with Stitch, Jack is the only one who was asked this question. He at first says he can survive on his own, and though he eventually provides Epel as his answer. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT??? Jack also states in the interview that he would not want to be stuck with anyone in Octavinelle because “they seem like the types to ask for compensation whenever they have to do something” 🤡 Which. Isn’t far from the reality they’re now experiencing…
Addendum: In Jack’s Labwear vignettes, Floyd asks Azul if they can “keep him”, as though Jack were a stray dog. Again, Floyd’s affinity for dogs reappears in the Stitch event, where he doesn’t want to hand Stitch over to Gantu.
Other related points from Union Birthday/Birthday Jacket vignettes (the other 5 were asked “if you could pick any student from NRC to be your sibling, who would you choose?”): Ace would pick Azul to essentially get free stuff I bet he’s regretting his decision right about now, eh, Floyd would pick Ace so Ace can take the fall for him in sticky situations why do I suddenly have a bad feeling for what’s to come, and Lilia would pick… FLOYD 😂 because Floyd is mischievous, challenges people, and keeps surprising him with unexpected things… Oh, don’t worry, I’m sure plenty of “unexpected things” are going to happen, whether the boys like it or not 💦
On a more serious note, I do find it interesting that we get formal confirmation that merpeople in human forms need to remove their clothes before returning to their true forms. (This was always assumed before, but was never explicitly brought up in scenes where they actually had to revert back, such as book 4, Vargas Camp, and the first Halloween event.) However, Azul and Floyd say that the Beachwear clothes must be magic because they can’t be removed. I’m assuming either it’s unsafe to revert while still wearing clothes or the magical clothes just prevent them from bursting out of it a la Vanessa to Ursula in The Little Mermaid:
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It’s also implied that their human forms are not suited for swimming long distances (or at least they are not used to swimming long distances in human forms yet)?? Which makes me think their anatomy and physiology must become entirely human when they drink their usual transformation potion??? Like, I’m assuming there aren’t gills on their human forms (because they’d serve zero purpose) which could hinder swimming as a human. (For that one scene in book 3 where Azul joins the group at the Atlantica Museum, I always assumed he just drank one of those “breathing underwater” potions he gave out earlier in the book!)
Side note: thanks to this event for gatekeeping us from potentially getting a peak at Azul’s non-OB octomer form/j 🙄
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bookishdiplodocus · 13 days
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A longread on writing comedy
This is what I do to research writing comedy:
What helped me most was analyzing a lot of jokes: "It's funny. Why is it funny? How does this joke work?" Usually it's something that subverses the expectations in a specific way or an unexpected collision of two things. (Like a pun is a collision of sound and meaning.) For my analysis, I wonder: "What is the expectation after the set-up? Why do I have this expectation? How does the pay-off subverse the expectation? Why does it still make sense in relation to the set-up?"
For example: I unleashed this kind of analysis on the movie George of the Jungle. It has a surprisingly high hit rate, I think around three jokes per minute in the first one third of the movie, and it still manages to get the story going and the characters introduced. I’ve mentioned this before, but I don’t think I gave examples, and you know I’m all about the teaching.
I found at least 17 types. Heads up, this is going to be a longread.
Type 1: Puns
Narrator: “When they finally beheld the mighty Ape Mountain…” [They see a mountain shaped like a gorilla head.] Narrator, cont’d: “… they reacted with awe.” All: “Aww.” Narrator: “I said ‘awe”. A-W-E.” All: “Ooh!” Narrator: “That’s better.”
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Explanation:
The pun lies in the fact that “awe” and “aww” sound the same.
There is a visual type of comedy as well that we can’t effectively reproduce in writing: the mountain is shaped like a gorilla head.
BTW: the narrator defies genre expectations by interacting with the characters, and the characters defy genre expectations by being able to hear the narrator.
Type 2: Tone of voice
Narrator, about the main characters: “Scraped and boo-booed, they searched high and low.
Explanation:
“Boo-booed” is a children’s word, not the tone you would use for a hero. Compare “tummy” and “stomach”.
Type 3: Defying genre expectations
[The guide falls off a rope bridge into a deep chasm.] Narrator: “Don’t worry—nobody dies in this story. They just get really big boo-boos.”
Explanation:
The narrator is breaking the fourth wall.
Again: tone of voice with the “boo-boos”.
Contrast between the boo-boo and the injuries one usually suffers after falling into a deep chasm.
Type 4: Not defying genre expectations
[A lion appears from the bushes. A baby monkey makes a sound like “uh-oh”.] [The baby monkey does the Tarzan call and bangs its chest.] [The lion flees.] [The monkey giggles.] [The monkey gives George a thumbs up.] [From the bushes, the lion winks at George. George winks back.]
Explanation:
Expectation: the lion is a danger to the baby monkey and George will need to fight it to save the monkey.
Defying expectations: the monkey and the lion are in on the plan.
Not defying genre expectations: George of the Jungle is clearly based on Tarzan. George doesn’t refer to that fact, but the monkey does, by doing the Tarzan call and banging its chest.
Improbable: monkeys who giggle and give thumbs up.
Impossible: lions who wink.
Type 5: Contrast
Narrator: “Meanwhile, 43 vines away, George’s kingdom is being threatened by a terrifying intruder.” [We see the adorable Leslie Mann, who plays Ursula, smiling and talking to the camera.] Ursula: “Hi! It’s me again!”
Explanation:
Contrast between what the narrator says and what we see.
The narrator isn’t lying. He refers to Lyle and the poachers who will be introduced in this scene.
There’s also humor in the phrase “43 vines away”, because of the overt specificity and because a vine is not a measure of distance.
Type 6: Oblivious character
[Lyle takes a Polaroid picture of one of the guides.] Lyle: “Do you like it? Magic picture. Yet another gift from America. Here you go. You’re welcome.” [The guide replies in Swahili. There is no translation in the subtitles.] [All the guides laugh.] [The guide continues in Swahili. Only the last few words are in English: “35 mm.” The guide takes his own camera and snaps a picture of Lyle.] [All the guides and Ursula laugh.] Lyle, not amused: “Translation, please.” Other guide: “He says he likes your magic pictures, but he prefers the resolution of the Leica 35 mm transparencies.” [Everyone but Lyle laughs.] Other guide, cont'd: “He also says your lens is dirty, but he has the equipment to clean it for you.”
Explanation:
Lyle doesn’t understand Swahili, while the guides understand everything Lyle says to them in English.
The fact that Ursula, Lyle's fianceé, understands Swahili and laughs along with the guides, is adds contrast to his obliviousness.
Lyle is the butt of the joke. He humiliates the guides and now he’s humiliated on his own turf while the guides don’t stoop down to his level.
This joke is threefold: 1. The set-up: Lyle is the arrogant asshole who thinks he’ll show the locals about technological development. 2. The guide is not only not impressed, he knows Polaroid and has a camera of his own, and is knowledgeable. 3. And he demonstrates his superiority in a (more or less) polite way.
Type 7: Slapstick
[George is swinging on the vines.] Narrator: “He is swift. He is strong. He is sure. He is smart.” [George hits a tree and falls.] Narrator, deadpan: “He is unconscious.”
Explanation:
Slapstick is another type of humor that barely translates to written fiction, when the actors behave silly, for example by falling over, hurting themselves, or others. It's often over the top. Laurel & Hardy is a well-known example of slapstick.
Type 8: Alliteration
Narrator: “The tired trekkers trudged on feverish footsies over perilous paths.”
Explanation:
If several words in each other’s vicinity start with the same letter, it’s called alliteration.
Note that "footsies" is another example of a contrast in tone of voice—it’s another children’s word.
Type 9: Improbable things
[George spins a lion over his head.] George: “George not even trying hard.”
Explanation:
While not impossible, spinning an actual lion over one’s head is improbable and thus goes against real-world expectations.
Type 10: Impossible things
[A gorilla called Ape enters George’s tree house and scares Ursula.] Ursula: “What does it want? What does it want?” Ape: [points at a big book] “It wants its Physician’s Desk Reference, if you don’t mind, unless you’d rather die of dengue fever, of course.” [Ursula faints again.]
Explanation:
Gorillas can’t talk, can’t read, and aren’t usually well-versed in curing tropical diseases.
Type 11: Breaking social norms
[Ursula is unconscious. George licks her face, clearly meaning well.]
Explanation:
In our society, it is not only considered impolite but also gross to lick the face of a stranger. The fact that George does this anyway, clearly not realizing he does something wrong, is a subversion of what we’d expect of social norms and behavior.
Type 12 and 13: Hyperbole and understatement
[Earlier, Ursula fainted when she saw Ape talk and do human things.] [Ape is reading when he sees Ursula look at him. He panics, throws the book away, starts grunting, and bangs his chest.] [Ursula faints again.] Ape: “Eh.”
Explanation:
Ursula fainting again is a hyperbole: a reaction that is stronger than expected.
Ape saying “Eh.” is an understatement: a reaction less strong than expected.
Type 14: Obvious repetitions
Ursula: “… And I didn’t want my fianc—Um, this guy I was with, to worry.” Narrator, a few moments later: “George and Ursula set out on a desperate search to find her fianc—Uh, that guy she was with.”
Type 15: Stating the obvious
[We see the guide’s hand, pointing at a really big footprint in the mud.] Narrator: “Meanwhile, back at the really big footprint in the mud, (...)”
Explanation:
Stating the obvious can be funny because the audience doesn’t expect you to do or say this because it is so very obvious.
Type 16: Adult humor
[George watches Ursula sleep.] George: “George having stirrings of special feelings right now.” Ape, drily: “I see.” George: “Good thing she same species, huh?”
Explanation:
Ape’s reply, “I see”, could be an innuendo, but it doesn’t come across as a joke (to me at least). Maybe it’s downplayed because it’s a children’s movie.
If this is an innuendo, it’s a play on words. “I see”, figuratively, for “I understand”, or literally for “Yes, I can tell from your erection.”
“Good thing she same species” because George shouldn’t have stirrings of special feelings for animals.
Type 17: Rhyme
[George is swinging on a vine.] George: “Look, like this!” Song: “He flies through the air with the greatest ease.” Song, cont’d: “Our daring young man on the flying trapeze.” [George hangs upside down from a vine.] George: “Look, no hands.” Song, cont’d: “His movements so grateful, all girls he could please.” Song, cont’d: “And with love he is swinging away…” [On the ground, gorillas frantically run back and forth with a safety net.] Song, cont’d: “He flies through the air with the greatest of ease.” Ursula: “George, watch out for that—” Song, cont’d while George yelps: “Our daring young man on the—” [Song stops abruptly.] [Thud] [George grunts.] Ursula: “… tree.”
Explanation:
When words end in the same sounds, we call it rhyme.
It’s physically impossible to hang from a vine with no hands.
The gorillas with the safety net imply that they expect George to fall.
Also, it’s improbable that gorillas would do this.
Slapstick: George hitting the tree.
Comedic timing: Ursula being just too late to warn George about the tree.
Song + Ursula: “Our daring young man on the—tree.” Because by then he is literally stuck to the tree.
Or throw everything at the audience, whatever.
[George has a pet elephant, Shep, who behaves like a happy doggy.] [Shep is chewing a humongous bone.] Narrator: “Later, they rested, while the tired tusker teethed on a… Wait a second, the dog bone is too much. Lose it.” [The dog bone disappears.] Narrator: “That’s better.” [Shep whines.]
Explanation:
Improbable: Pet elephant who behaves like a doggy.
Alliteration: “tired tusker teethed”
Fourth wall: the narrator comments on the story while it is going on, and edits it.
*** Here are some other funny situations from the movie. Try to analyze what’s going on. Usually you can spot several types.
Situation 1
Narrator: “Meanwhile, at a very big and expensive waterfall set, Ursula was amazed that she was lost in the wilderness with a jungle man.” Ursula: “And here I am, lost in the wilderness with a jungle man.”
Situation 2
Narrator: “The guides came dangerously close—” Narrator: “That is, dangerously close to shove a coconut up in Kyle’s—” Narrator: “Sleeping bag.”
Situation 3
Lyle: “I am the richest, handsomest, smartest guy here, so I get to go first!” [Lyle pushes past everyone, trips over a tree stump and lands face first in a steaming pile of elephant poop.] Lyle: “There’s an elephant here.” Guide, while looking straight into the camera: “Bad guy falls into poop. Classical element of physical comedy.” Guide, cont’d: “Now comes the element where we throw our heads back and laugh.” Guide, cont’d: “Ready?” Other guides, while also looking straight into the camera: “Ready!” [All the guides throw their heads back and laugh.] [Monkey laughs and points at Lyle.] [Off-screen, other animals make laughing sounds.] Lyle, spitting out poop: “Those are nowhere near properly digested.” Lyle, cont’d: “In case anyone is wondering, I’m okay.”
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Situation 4
[Cliffhanger: it looks like Lyle has shot George from up close.] Narrator: “Whew! Okay kids, let’s settle down and review the important information. Lyle is a big doofus. Poor George was actually shot but can’t die because, let’s face it, he’s the hero. So, the naturally concerned and preternaturally wealthy Ursula Stanhope whisked George away on a private jet bound for the country of his birth—” [George has a tiny band-aid on his forehead.] Narrator, cont’d: “—where he’s gonna get the finest medical treatment available!” Ursula: “I’m gonna get you the finest medical treatment available.”
Situation 5
Narrator: “Well, Ursula […] could use a best friend now.” Best friend: “Hi!” Ursula: “He’s in the shower.” Best friend, distracted: “Not anymore.” George, naked: “Bad waterfall. First, water get hot—” [A sexy saxophone plays] George, cont’d: “Then George slips on this strange yellow rock.” [Perspective: the camera looks at the two women, seen from between George’s legs. They are clearly ogling his crotch.] [Ursula swoons.] George, noticing the friend: “Hi! George of jungle.” Friend, eager: “Charmed, I’m sure.” [Ursula hands George objects that barely cover his crotch. The camera switches back to a frontal view of George. The friend is still ogling George.] Best friend, mumbling appreciatively: “I see why they made him king of the jungle.” *** I hope this was helpful. Don’t hesitate to ask me any questions, and happy writing!
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rogue205 · 7 months
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Oh my god. What is with Disney these days? No one wants a “woke” Princess and it’s like they don’t even understand the word anyway.
Pixar does because look at Merida. She still got help from “a man” even if they were her little brothers. It was still “female empowerment” because her mother is actually the one who killed the bad guy anyway and it was because he was about to kill Merida. It wasn’t just “women strong!”. Hell, Merida refuses to get married and actually ends the movie that way but she never comes across as “ew, men” but that she simply doesn’t want to. I can relate.
But back to Disney. They changed Little Mermaid so Ariel literally did EVERYTHING including killing Ursula despite the fact that she shouldn’t even know how to drive a damn ship. 🙄 There was nothing wrong with Eric doing it!
And now we’re getting “woke” Snow White who is named as such because her skin is WHITE AS SNOW! But noooooo… she has to be a person of color too so Disney can have lazy writing and call everyone racist when we call them out on this BS. POC are just shields for them now although Rachel Zegler tried to accuse everyone of hate already. Lady, that’s not going to get people to see your point. And frankly, it’s not even about her. It’s about Disney and what they’re doing.
Also they’re apparently planning to change the Prince coming in to wake her up at the end. Like, what? And most of the seven dwarves are gone too. I think there’s only one now while the others are “normal”. They thought(and Zegler said) that the Prince was “acting stalker-ish” so that’s why they wanted to change him. Hah. They clearly didn’t watch “Once Upon a Time”. Now THAT is a live-action Snow White.
Plus there is a “deleted scene” comic which explains how the Prince even knew to come looking for Snow White. He was captured and locked up by the Evil Queen and witnessed her transform into the hag and poison the apple. He immediately went to find Snow when he managed to escape. All the live-action had to do was include something like this and then he isn’t “stalkerish”. 🙄
Frankly, their movie is not even Snow White anymore and I can tell already that it’s going to flop with all these unneeded and unnecessary changes. All it shares in common now is the name. Nothing else.
This is just my opinion. You don’t have to agree.
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epelletea · 2 years
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Your TWST S/O reacts to you singing a familiar tune !!
First post oh lord. But this is mainly about if a certain TWST Character heard you singing song from their story for Ex: Hakuna Matata or Part of Your World! This is my first time ever writing something like this and fairly new to TWST spare me 🙇🏾‍♀️ !
Part 2
Azul Ashengrotto
You we’re hanging out with him in his office while Azul was doing whatever Fish Mafia do. Probably looking over his contracts.
You had nothing better else to do other than sit on your phone while you watched your boyfriend do his work. Just out of pure coincidence, you started to hum the tune ‘Poor Unfortunate Souls’
At first , he doesn’t mind your humming and finds it quite enjoyable. Few more minutes go by, he finds himself somehow humming the tune with you. He stops, starts to guess what song you are singing and how does he know it.
After you finish humming the song. Azul questions you about what song name is. Sitting there confuse by the sudden question. You debate on telling him because from your world, this song is sung by Ursula. Would he believe you if you told him the truth?
In the end , you didn’t tell him the truth and decided to try and dodge his question. He didn’t stop questioning you about the name of the song. He kept saying how the song felt familiar too him but he’s never heard it before? He even asked you to sing it again but with the lyrics.
He eventually does give up, after you say that you don’t remember the words and you refusing to still tell him the name of the song not the artist. He treats you to a drink at the Monstro Lounge as apologies for even trying to dig in further.
But just cuz he’s not asking you about it anymore. Doesn’t mean he isn’t going to do his research about that songs origins. (Spoiler Alert: he hasn’t found anything yet.)
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Malleus Draconia
Another normal day of Gargoyle Watching with your lovely boyfriend Malleus. You enjoy every moment you spend with him but sometimes it can get a little boring with him. But you would never admit that to his face, it would hurt your heart to see his sad face.
Out of pure coincidence while on your stroll with Malleus looking at the statues. You begin to sing the tune ‘Upon a Dream’ by coincidence as you walked right beside him.
Malleus took in your beautiful voice as you sung this familiar tune. Your voice sounding like angels singing to his ears.
Huh? What was this tune you were singing actually? He pondered. Why did it feel so familiar too him.
He would stop his stroll to question you about the song. You shouldn’t have been surprised for Malleus to heard of the song. But you debated on telling him the truth because the song was sung by Princess Aurora herself. Would he question how you knew this song?
In the end, you decided not to tell him. He respected your choice and asked for you to keep singing for him for a little while longer for him. You agreed and kept singing while you kept watching the Gargoyles with him.
Bonus!!: He has gone to Lilia and spoke to him bout the tune you were singing. Lilia was quite surprised how you knew the tune that Princess Aurora sung to her Prince.
Lilia ought to question later about it but for now he explained to Malleus that the song was an old love song sung by a human decades ago. Malleus of course, wanted to question you as well for how someone like you would know such an old sung? But he decided to just relish in the fact that you were singing a love song to himself. His heart couldn’t take such a thought. He would start looking up love songs to sing back to you.
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Floyd & Jade Leech
Imagine dating both brothers. Wow isn’t your life just exciting. There is never dull day with these two as your significant other.
While your two boyfriends were doing gods knows what. You were sat in one of the booths at the Monstro Lounge. Sitting there drinking a nice glass of Coral Sea Blast. You got bored just sitting there and started singing to yourself.
Under the Sea, a classic song. You chose this song on purpose to sing due to the fishy and sea like atmosphere of the Lounge.
While singing to yourself, and staring off into space. You didn’t notice two sharp eye eels staring directly at you.
Listening to your every word as you sung out the catchy tune. They actually knew this tune because it’s quite the popular song back in their hometown.
Floyd was the first one to approach you, snapping you out of your little trance. Smiling at you goofily and nuzzling your hair. How did his little Shrimpy know one of the most popular songs in the Sea?
Jade not to far behind from his brother came up from the other side of you. Nodding and smiling agreeing with Floyd. He compliments you on how pretty of a singing voice you have.
The two basically have you squished between them as they both coo at how adorable you are singing and we’re having fun to yourself a few minutes ago.
They later on promise one day they’ll show you the sea and take you for a swim with them… this could potentially be very fun and exciting but also terrifying with these two.
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Ruggie Buuchi
When your little hyena lover isn’t taken away by a bossy lion and listening to his every rule. He’s busy sunbathing with you outside and enjoying your company as he lays his head in your lap.
He enjoys these moment to the fullest because it’s the few breaks he gets when he’s not getting bossed around by Leona or he’s the one bossing around Leona himself.
While relishing in each other’s presence, you decided to sing a soft tune to yourself as you closed your eyes enjoying the soothing atmosphere.
His little hyena ears perk up to the sudden humming coming from you. He feels even more relaxed and at peace. Hell he could even fall asleep listening to your voice.
But what was this song you we’re singing? Well you were humming the beat of Hakuna Matata due to the peaceful time you are having and it felt oddly fitting.
Ruggie couldn’t help but shake off the feeling as if he has heard this song before. The beat seemed awfully familiar.
That’s when it hits him. This song is a quite popular song back in his hometown he used to hear people go by sing it when he was younger. It’s been a while since he heard that song resurface.
You hesitated to tell him the truth of how you knew the song. So instead, you agreed on him saying that one of the students had sung it to themselves and you happened to overheard them.
He opens his eyes and decides to question you on how you have heard the song. Did one of the other Savanaclaw students happen to sing it near you?
Ruggie couldn’t help but feel like you weren’t telling the truth but decided to shrug it off. To be fair, the song is pretty catchy so it wouldn’t be surprising if somehow just randomly sung it.
He even joined on singing the song with you until he eventually fell asleep.
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thehorizonlinex · 10 months
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Sea Legs
Eric teaches Ariel about his world.
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Note: Posted this on AO3 a few days ago but forgot to here. A little scene I made up in my head, the first night of Ariel and Eric’s first voyage. Can’t get these two out of my head and am considering starting a short multi-chapter AU fic of them, let me know if you’d be interested!
Still new at this writing stuff so would love any feedback and comments!
~~~~~
The sky exploded with light as the ship’s crew continued to set off fireworks, booming and dazzling against the darkness. The festivities had been going on for nearly an hour, fiddles providing joyous melodies while sailors danced the night away.
Ariel snuggled closer to Eric on the steps, her gaze still focused on the brilliant colors illuminating the sky. They’d danced for almost the whole hour, her new husband teaching her the steps of the many jigs and dances.
“Have you ever seen fireworks before?” Eric shrugged his jacket off his shoulders, placing it delicately around hers.
“Once,” a smile crept onto Ariel’s face at the memory. “When we first met.”
“Oh?”
Ariel giggled. “The night of the shipwreck.”
Eric took a moment to think. “Oh, right before, you mean. My twenty-first birthday.”
He paused again. “Wait…how did you…”
Ariel felt the blush rising in her cheeks, looking down nervously at her lap and picking at a loose thread on her dress.
“I heard you talking to Grimsby,” she explained, her voice barely above a whisper. “I saw the fireworks, and I followed the ship. And I heard you talking. I saw the crew dancing, it was the first time I’d ever seen anything like that.”
She felt his finger touch the underside of her chin, lifting it gently so their eyes met.
“And that’s how you were there to save me.”
“Yes.”
“I had no idea.”
Ariel shrugged, turning her head once again to look out at the dancing crew. It was a miracle they hadn’t all worn out their feet by now.
“You seemed so happy, singing and dancing with all of them. I saw it tonight, too. You’re happiest when you’re on the ship.”
Eric chuckled, his eyes following hers. The crew had gotten ahold of Grimsby, the old man somehow convinced to sway along to the music with Max by his side.
“I hope you like it here,” he said. “I know ship life isn’t for everyone, but whatever’s out there - I want to find it with you.”
“I do like it here,” Ariel said. She turned back to meet his gaze, eyes twinkling in the light. “Though, there is something you could help me with.”
“Anything.”
“What’s a starboard?”
Eric raised a brow. “Come again?”
“The crew, they keep saying starboard. Starboard side, starboard sails…”
“Oh,” Eric laughed, brushing a hand through his dark curls. “It’s right. Port and starboard, that’s what sailors call left and right.”
“Why not just call it left and right?”
Eric paused. “You know…I’m actually not sure. But sailors have lots of words for things no one else calls them by.”
“Like what?”
“Hmm…” Eric took a moment to think, his eyes scanning the ship.
He pointed to the very front of the ship. “The front there, that’s called the bow. And the very back is called the stern.”
“Bow and stern,” Ariel repeated.
“Yeah. Sometimes the stern is called aft, too.”
Ariel nodded.
“The wheel,” Eric pointed out.
“The one I used to kill Ursula.”
“Yes. That’s called the helm.”
Ariel nodded again. “Can I ask one more question?”
Eric drew her closer to him. “You can ask as many questions as you’d like.”
“Why do they call the ship a woman?”
“Oh,” he laughed. “That…it comes from an old sea story. You’d think it’s silly.”
She nudged him. “Tell me.”
“Sailors believe…” he shook his head. “They believe that the king of the seas would be more favorable to girls. So referring to a ship as a ‘she’…well, it’s to appease him.”
Ariel stared at him with wide eyes, before bursting into laughter.
“My father wouldn’t care whether or not the ship was a girl, Eric.”
“Well, yes, I can understand that now.”
“Humans are silly,” Ariel remarked. “But you’re not entirely wrong.”
“No?”
“I do have six sisters. No brothers. So you could say my father does favor girls.”
She straightened up a bit. “Can I practice using the terms?”
Eric tried his best not to smile too hard, at the risk of his new wife potentially mistaking his grin as laughing at her expense. “Of course.”
Ariel pointed to the front of the ship. “The bow.”
She gestured to the back. “Stern. Or aft.”
She pointed left, then right. “Port and starboard.”
The wheel was last. “The helm.”
She took a breath, her brows knitted in deep focus. “I used the helm to turn the ship port side so the bow of the ship drove into Ursula.”
She looked up at him again. “Was that right?”
Eric couldn’t help the beaming grin on his face as he reached in for a soft kiss.
“Perfect. You’re a natural-born sailor.”
He didn’t miss her giggle before the corners of his lips lifted into a slight smirk.
“You were wrong about something though.”
She looked into his eyes, warm brown meeting ocean blue.
“What was it?”
“I’m the happiest when I’m with you.”
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Snow White Yuu: the story line is the same but what if when they were running to the house of the seven dwarfs they ended up finding the portal to the world of twisted wonderland and their stepmother is not the evil queen
I know it’s supposed to be Snow White!Yuu but I couldn't really specifically think of Yuu being in Snow White's shoes. So instead, this is all I could think of. I’ve always wanted to write this ever since I learnt of Twisted Wonderland.
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Descendents of the Great Seven
As it says on the title, Yuu is the descendent of one of the Great 7 (kind of). In another world, the Great 7’s actions created Twisted Wonderland but because of the butterfly effect, something quite different happened in Yuu’s world. Featuring a much more kinder (?) Great Seven.
Queen of Hearts - In here, the Cheshire Cat didn’t or couldn’t antagonize the Queen of Hearts successfully for reasons, thus not making the Queen of Hearts get angry and put Alice in trial. Since the Queen is actually kind of a decent person as long as her temper doesn't go off, Alice stayed for a lot longer in her castle and experienced new and different things. She learned to appreciate Wonderland’s madness but at the same time she never lost her own sense of reality and logic. Instead, she just made the two work together in a more balanced way. Perhaps cohabiting in the castle also made the Queen of Hearts soften up and realize that maybe ‘her way’ isn’t just the only way. She became less childish, still short-tempered though, but overall has a character development. Years later, Alice became the heir to Wonderland and eventually the next Queen of Hearts.
Scar - Honestly? Haven’t seen Lion King ever. But, for the sake of the butterfly effect, Scar intended to kill Mufasa and Simba to rule over Pride Rock but he stopped himself and instead thought it was better to guide Simba and make his nephew dependent on him. Of course, just like how I like my tropes, Scar becomes fond of Simba in a tsun-tsun way and thinks ‘his father is stupid, might as well teach him stuff so he doesn’t end up like his father and end up killing himself’. Simba soon takes over as a great leader, looking to Scar for advice whenever needed but ultimately an independent and sharp thinker just as Scar taught him to be.
Ursula - Instead of trying to trick Ariel using the loopholes in the contract, she went for a wait-and-see attitude to let Ariel see that the human prince she fell in love with at first sight isn’t as nice as he seemed to be and let the mermaid break the contract out of her violation. Of course misunderstandings and that stuff was soon bound to happen since Ariel couldn’t talk properly with the prince so she went to Ursula and decided in the heat of the moment to become a Sea Witch and help other merfolk like her. Ursula, thinking that molding and using Triton’s daughter was much better and was more a secure way to get back at Triton, accepted Ariel as her apprentice. But gradually, she learned to care for Ariel like her own daughter and strived to actually fix her reputation in the Seven Seas as a Sea Witch.
Jafar - Also another movie I haven’t seen. But for the sake of the butterfly effect again, let’s say he wanted power so he would be respected. Let’s also ignore and pretend the trying to marry Jasmine, who’s 16 years old mind you, thing never happened for our sake. He desired power and to be respected so when he saw that Jasmine was besotted with Aladdin, he thought, ‘Why don’t I use this street urchin who knows nothing of palace politics to become my puppet once he inevitably becomes the married to the princess’ because obviously Aladdin’s words are going to have weight since he’d be known as the princess’ husband. Of course, as I would like to have it, he began to care for both Aladdin and Jasmine as time went on and the two began to respect all the work that Jafar had to do. He would also even become the godfather of their future children. Both he and Genie would even fight for the title of the best godfather.
Evil Queen - Instead of trying to kill Snow White to become the fairest in the land, the Evil Queen thought that it would be advantageous if the people saw her as ‘benevolent’ and ‘kind’. That way, people wouldn’t only call her beautiful in looks but also beautiful in heart, thus spreading her name out more to distant lands. Initially, she just thought of Snow White as a charity case, with her losing both her father and mother but grew to care for her as time went on. Inevitably, she also realized that although Snow White was considered fairest of all, the citizens still called her beautiful for her heart which made her realize that she shouldn’t need to be the most beautiful in looks to be the most beautiful in people’s eyes. She also taught Snow White a lot of things ranging from sorceries and witchcraft and to keep on striving to be the most beautiful of all, both outside and inside.
Hades - Eh, what was his dastardly evil goal again? He wanted to take over Olympus, right? But that could only be possible if Hercules didn’t fight him. So what does he do? Does he go and attempt to kill baby Hercules? Of course… not! Not unless who wants to die, damn, the baby has strength. He instead decides to raise Hercules himself since the Fates said that he’d be successful in taking over Olympus after 18 years so why not just keep Hercules close to prevent him from gaining power and indebted the boy to him? It worked, for the most part anyway. He became a father figure to Hercules, obviously. Sure, Hercules felt slightly betrayed when he found out Hades wasn’t actually his father and he got kidnapped as a baby but then went all, ‘Eh, the underworld’s gloomy and the other gods never visit Fath–Hades. Might as well rule Olympus and invite Hades over to get him out of this place and get some fresh air.’ Hades may have not specifically ruled over Olympus but Hercules, whom he considered as a son as time went on, did so it was kind of basically the same.
Maleficent - Here, Aurora’s parents considered leaving Maleficent in the invitation but changed their mind at the last second because, hello? Maleficent? You really want to exclude the strongest sorcerer? Lmao, if this was politics, you’d automatically be dead the moment you stepped into the battlefield for trying to antagonize a powerful person. Make her your ally, get on her good side, and that’s what Aurora’s parents actually did in this timeline. They invited her and although the other fairies were wary of Maleficient, all of them were civil. Turns out, Maleficient was a chill person as long as no one antagonized her. In the end, Maleficent became a somewhat decent godmother to Aurora. She’s kind of like that dramatic aunt that appears every now and then but Aurora’s vibing with it and always looked forward to Maleficent's visits and witnessing her magic.
Although Yuu isn’t really related to the Great Seven, their parents did (kind of) get adopted so that still counts as being the Great Seven’s descendant, especially when it was the Great Seven themselves who were acting as their godmother/godfather and teaching them all kinds of stuff. Now that I think about it, Yuu’s technically the main character’s descendant rather than the villains but eh, let’s ignore that.
So anyway, basically with the single flap of a butterfly’s wings, it drastically changed history and Yuu grew up as the descendent of one of the Great Sevens. And then they get yeeted to Twisted Wonderland.
Imagine Yuu, looking at the statue of their ancestor and becoming haughty and proud because of  course their ‘meemaw/peepaw’ is great! It’s only right to celebrate them!
Not to mention pitting Yuu against the overblot boys.
Any sign of disrespect given to Yuu, the heir of the Queen of Hearts, is immediately dealt with by Yuu themselves. Their mood shifts as quick as they are to get angry, much like Queen of Hearts. Imagine Riddle trying to ‘Off With Your Head!’ Yuu, only for Yuu to counter back with an even angrier ‘Off With YOUR Head!’
Vil meets Yuu, heir of Snow White’s Kingdom, and he’s immediately threatened because this person gives him Neige vibes! What’s worse was, they seemed interested in watching them make poison so Yuu almost constantly never leave them alone and people are starting to compare the two of them!
Then there’s Azul who tries to rope Yuu, heir of the Seven Seas, in with a contract only to be dealt with an Uno Reverse card and have Yuu attempt to rope HIM in with a contract.
Of course, Yuu doesn’t tell the inhabitants of Twisted Wonderland that the Great Seven they look up to so much were their godparents back in their own world. They were smart enough not to get themselves mobbed by people. They wouldn’t be a very good heir to their kingdoms now would they if they didn’t know how to keep people in line, no?
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For all eternity.
I was terrified of Ursula as a child. I used to think she lived under the stairs in my basement.
Anyways I love Azul Ashengrotto with all my heart <3
(apologies if this post is a bit messy, first time writing with the tumblr app. May edit this later)
Warning(s): fem reader, yandere content, kidnapping
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“Heeeey, Azul, we’re baaaack...” One of a pair of twins called into the seemingly empty grotto.
“We saw (Y/N) today.” The other twin mentioned.
“Oh, did you? What a pleasant surprise.” The octopus merman residing within the dark cave responded. “How did she look?”
“Positively beautiful.”
“Y’know, Azul, I have no idea why you’re so interested in her... she’s just some ditzy mermaid, what’s so different about her compared to every other mermaid?”
“Don’t call her that, Floyd.” Azul angrily said. “She isn’t just some ‘ditzy mermaid’, ok?”
“Whatever.” Floyd rolled his eyes. “Anyways, if you’re so into her, why not just tell her already~?”
“We’ve discussed this before. I have a plan.”
“Ah, and speaking of that...” Jade began. “I noticed something today while observing (Y/N). She had a scar on her tail.”
“I’m sorry, what did you say?” Azul asked... or, moreso demanded.
“Yes, (Y/N) had a scar on her tail. Quite a large one, might I add.” Jade explained.
“Oh yeeeeeeah...! Hehe, her love of humans got her pretty hurt, eh Jade~?”
“Yes, it did, Floyd.” Despite sounding somber, Jade had a smile on his face.
Azul was filled with rage at the thought. How DARE somebody do that to you?! Why did they think they had the right to hurt you- why did they think they had the right to touch you?!
“Floyd. Jade. Go find (Y/N).” Azul demanded. “Find her and bring her to me. It seems I will be enacting my plan sooner than I thought.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You sat on a rock, crying. If only you weren’t a mermaid... if you were human, he would’ve loved you. If you were human, he wouldn’t have immediately called you a monster.
If only you weren’t a mermaid...
“Well isn’t this just sad~?”
“Indeed it is.”
“W-who’s there?!” You yelled out. Two eel mermen revealed themselves, both smiling creepily...
“There’s no need to be so hostile.”
“Yeah! We just wanna help you~!”
“Help me...? How can you help me...?”
“Oh no, not us. But we know someone who can.”
“Azul Ashengrotto~”
...you’d heard that name before. There were rumours of an octopus merman who went by that name. They say he could grant any wish you have... for a price.
“No, no... I-I can’t possibly...” You began to think of all the ways this could go wrong.
“No? Well it is what it is, I suppose.”
“It was just a suggestion...”
As the eel mermen slowly swam away from you, you began considering things. Yes, things could obviously go wrong, but... if he can grant any wish you have, then...
“Wait-!” You yelled out. The twins immediately stopped and turned back to look at you, an unsettling toothy grin on both their faces. “On second thought... please take me to him!”
“It would be our pleasure.”
They grabbed your hands and led you along.
When the three of you happened upon a cave, the two let go of you.
“Hey Azuuuuuul~! You have a visitor!” One of them said, pushing you inside the cave.
“Ah, greetings, (Y/N). I’ve been waiting for you.” A voice from deep within the cave called out to you.
You continued deeper into the cave, until-
You saw him. Azul. The octopus merman who granted wishes, not unlike the Sea Witch herself.
“I... I-I’m here for-” Before you could finish your sentence, a tentacle pressed itself against your lips, shushing you.
“Oh, I know what you’re here for.” Azul told you. “Poor, unfortunate souls such as yourself always come to me for one reason.” He placed a hand on his chest. “You need my help.”
“I do...” You admitted. “I... I want you to make me human!”
“...excuse me? You want to become human? You... don’t want to get back at those who hurt you?”
“If I was a human, then he’d love me... I’m sure of it.” You explained. “So all I want from you is to turn me into a human!”
“Well, Angelfish, that’s a bit of a tall ask...” Azul paused for a moment. “But just for you, I can find a way to make it happen!”
“Y-you can?!”
“Why of course! Though... I will need adequate payment.” He explained. “You can’t get something for nothing, you know!”
“Oh, but I don’t have any m-”
“Don’t you worry your pretty little head off, (Y/N)! I’m not asking for money.” Azul got very close to you... a bit too close. He placed a hand on your chin. “I want your voice.”
“My voice...?”
“So, (Y/N), this is the deal.” Azul backed away from you, a magical golden contract scroll appearing above his hand. “I will make you a potion that will turn you into a human for three days. In that time, you are to get that human you like so much to fall in love with you, all without your voice, understand? If you can do that, then you’ll remain human permanently. But if not, well... you’ll turn back into a mermaid. And you will belong to me.”
“Can I really do that without talking to him...?”
“Why of course you can! I believe in you, (Y/N)!”
The part of the contract that stood out the most to you was the ominous “For all eternity.” at the bottom. Azul handed you a pen made of the skeleton of a small fish.
"Have we got a deal, (Y/N)~?"
Your eyes scanned the golden contract as Azul began preparing your potion, showing he fully expected you to agree to his deal. He hummed a tune to himself as he did.
You grabbed the fish pen tightly. All of your dreams can come true if only you sign the scroll...
Without hesitating any further, you wrote your name on the dotted line.
"You signed? Perfect! Then, It's a Deal!"
It felt so strange when the deal was completed. It felt like your voice was literally sucked out from your throat. And suddenly, you no longer had a tail. Instead, where it once was, there were a pair of legs.
And soon after that, you could no longer breathe the water.
"Jade, Floyd, bring her to the surface. We wouldn't want her drowning before she can attempt to finish the deal now, would we~?"
"Of course." "Will do~!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The days are not unlike crashing waves. They come and go in a second; before you know it they're gone. An unfortunate truth for someone on a time limit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two days came and went. You had made no progress with the human you loved... there's no way you can complete your end of the bargain!
These past two days, you've noticed that the sea tends to calm you down when you're panicking. Makes sense, seeing as you were born there. So you were looking out at the sea, watching the sunset... watching the time draw ever nearer. As you panicked, you failed to notice someone walk up you you. A human man with silver hair and glasses...
"Excuse me, are you alright?" He asked. You shook your head no, starting to tear up. "Well, what's wrong?"
You tried talking, but no matter how loud you tried to scream, nothing came out.
"Oh, can you not speak? My apologies." He sat down beside you. "My name's Vance. I can accompany you, if you'd like." You nodded, and wiped your tears. "I've seen you around here recently. By the looks of things, you like that fisherman, yes? Unfortunately, he's already married."
He's married? That human you entered this contract for is married?
All of this has been for nothing.
"Huh? What's wrong, Angelfish?" Vance asked you. "There's no need to cry! Sure, you may not get to have that guy, but... you could always have me."
Vance gave you a tight hug... but something didn't seem quite right. "Angelfish"... hasn't someone called you that before...?
That was when you realized. You pushed him away from you, standing up and stumbling slightly backwards.
"Oh. So you noticed, did you?" He asked. "Well, it's a good thing we're near the sea, (Y/N)... your time is up!"
You watched as 'Vance' transformed into exactly who you thought he was.
Azul grabbed you, with his arms and tentacles, and pulled you into the water with him. You were worried you'd drown, but found yourself being able to breathe in the water, leading you to a horrible realization: your time really had run out.
"You and I will have a wonderful life together, (Y/N)." Your face was pressed tightly against Azul's chest, and with his multiple limbs holding you, there was no way you could get out of this hug. "We will love each other for all eternity... just as I had wanted."
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