#why the fuck did I waste all that time? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rookfeatherrambles · 7 months

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its hilarious how I spent like 25 years or something trying to avoid writing in first person like the plague only to have my writing stagnate and when I try it for the first time, I realize it FUCKS severely.

#writeblr #fantasy novel #dawn of shadows #rook writes fantasy #original fantasy #why the fuck did I waste all that time?

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edwinisms · 2 months

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i get such a sense of primal envy when looking at edwin’s clothes up close because god you can just tell his coat is real wool and made to last and not cheap flimsy mass produced garbage and auggagghhhh that was just STANDARD in his time. by no means am i saying i was #borninthewronggeneration because i like having vaccines and household appliances but. man. to have a personally-tailored coat like that that’d last for years and years……. and fabrics of fine thread-dense quality………. if only

#edwin would be so disgusted by shein products can you fucking imagine #i mean he’d be disgusted by most mass produced brand/off-brand clothing but fast fashion shit like that would be the Worst #thank god for the fact that I don’t think anyone in the group would wear that kinda shit. for wildly different reasons #crystal wouldn’t because why the fuck would she. she can afford the most expensive high quality shit on the market. and even if she goes #thrifting you can just tell if something looks/feels like cheap garbage she’d not even touch it #niko’s a fashion icon and constantly changing her outfits BUT she seems like the type who loves repurposing old clothing/re-arranging things #in her wardrobe and making different combinations rather than buying new clothes all the time and wasting perfectly good clothing #plus she wasn’t raised in America and likely did not get normalized to fast fashion #charles doesn’t because. well #you know.#ghost. and whatnot #even so I doubt his parents bought him clothes that often so he’d have to either save up the money to buy stuff he wants (probably thrifted)#or repurpose old clothes in various ways. his coat absolutely looks high quality and I bet he saved up like crazy for it #rambling #edwin #dead boy detectives #edwin payne

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xehanortsreport · 6 months

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the subtle resignation in his expression at even bouncing with the context of his final words kinda destroying me ngl

#the face of a man who is too far gone and knows it #like...hate him all you want but it is genuinely tragic to get to a point where you hate where youve ended up and it's too late to go back #you did it you fucked up you made your bed and now you gotta lie in it #a waste of nearly 100 years of living! you cannot punish this man more than he has punished himself #xehanort lived his life believing he'd get a redo at the very end and when it didn't happen and he died like everyone else he was doomed!#he neglected every friendship he ever had in the hopes he could just remake them once he was god king and start over!#but he couldn't and didn't and by the time he realized it it was far far too late #why did i put all of this in the tags? well. that's our spicy secret.

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gottagetgogottagetattahere · 8 months

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Knives is such a hypocrite and a liar and he lies most of all to himself and i hate him but i also love it. Bro's so coked up on copium all the time.

Claims to be doing it all for the sake of Plants, then arguably takes away their agency and freedom way more than humans ever could. Claims to be doing it for his brother and literally ruins his brother's life in every possible turn. Claims humanity never learns from their mistakes and it literally takes dying for him to stop doubling down on his bullshit. the medical abuse done unto tesla horrified him so much and yet he is directly responsible to the same abuse being subjected to countless of children.

Given the chance, I would love to be his sleep paralysis demon. i do not think I could fix him, but I think I can drive him to early retirement from super villainy.

#millions knives #trigun #tristamp #trimax #i hate this man but also i adore him #or at least i adore grinding his psyche between my teeth #guy has so much crunch to him #the worst possible man to me i need to ruin his life #i gotta say that when i first got into trigun the overall tone coming from the fanbase did soften me up to get absolutely demolished by #literally all the fucked up things happening all the time #but i see less ppl horrified about the fucked up things knives does to the sisters he claims to be protecting than i expected??#which idk feels like a waste #also saw someone who said who doesn't like a villain who just wants to protect his sisters and dude if that is what protection looks like #id rather be thrown to the wolves #he is so fascinating to me but also i understand him on a molecular level and thats why i hate him so much but again #crunchy guy #nai saverem #vash's mommy issues have nothing on knives i can prove it ( i cannot but i can infer and i can dream)

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tyranitarkisser · 6 days

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I do not understand this new obsession with having the "right" reading of a fictional character. Oh so and so cant be a trans boy because how could he have figured himself out by 13 - Why do you care? What do you gain from professing your personal reading of this character as the correct one? How does someone hc'ing this character as a trans man affect your enjoyment of the same character as trans woman? It doesnt!!! Just dont look at their art!!! Stop trying to start arguments for no reason!!! We are talking about our enjoyment of fiction and what everyone takes away from their favorite fiction is 100% informed by their own upbringings and relationships. You dont have to understand it to respect other peoples headcanons. Who CARES if it defies canon in some way. Why does it matter so much to you. Jesus christ

#when did fandom become such a warzone. why is everyone all up in each others business constantly #what happened to letting other people just do their own thing?#im probably going to delete this later because i do NOT want arguments i will not be budging on this so dont waste your time #im sorry im so mad at june egbert discourse. and im the fucking june guy. but i think people who hc john as a trans guy are awesome!!!!#let them do what they want!! if it makes thwm happy whats so wrong with that??#i dont understand. i dont understand #im just going to start blocking people #im so mad

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vindicia · 1 month

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so why did nobody tell me actively trying to date would make me feel lonelier than ever

#it's the thought of the potential happiness just to get ghosted and wondering if you're even worth the effort.......#and then it's the feeling of someone finally putting in effort but not feeling the spark you seek so you cut it off to not #waste their time or feelings #it's the getting attached way too quickly to someone who apparently didn't care but acted like he very much did when you were with him #like. i cried when i rejected a dude. i didn't even want him that's why i rejected him?? but i guess i miss the feeling of being wanted??#which is fucked up? as i was perfectly fine on my own for years? but i guess getting a sneak peek at what “could be” is fucking me up #maybe i should stop and get therapy first. LMFAO #if you read all this im so sorry i'm ok just had to let it out. problem is i got nothing to do this week. next week i'll be distracted&fine

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angelnumber27 · 4 months

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It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.

#I fucking hate having bpd #while I’m at it I don’t understand the fuckin audacity some people have to say they love you and do horrible things to you #I feel so stupid #I feel so stupid for believing all the lies #but I was so in love and put him on such a pedestal that I just allowed it all.#thinking about someone constantly and grieving over them and knowing they’re perfectly fine and to them you don’t exist #I’m still in such a state of grief and I don’t understand why time hasn’t healed #it honestly feels like it’s gotten worse w time #I just torture myself but I can’t help it my brain wants me dead #it’s so painful I feel so fucking stupid #being abandoned with no closure by someone who’s your entire world #for someone they were unfaithful to you with multiple times (I don’t even know how many and dony want to know) immediately #like that was the plan all along #he took our cat hundreds of miles away and I don’t even know if he still has her or if she’s still alive and I miss her every day #I never loved someone like that and it feels like the heartbreak is actually physically killing me #i spent 1/5 of my entire life with him #I was my prettiest and had the best body at the time and I wasted it on someone who didn’t appreciate me #not wasted. it wasn’t wasted. we had some incredible times together #I’ll never be that beautiful again #and now idk what do so bc i can’t decide which is worse: being alone and isolating or loving deeply and ending up horribly hurt all over #it’s all just so upsetting.#and I feel so stupid for allowing it all #he knows more about me than anyone and he made me feel like he loved me so much sometimes and then did horrid things and it’s so fucked up #nobody read this I’m so embarrassed and horribly broken #it traumatized me so much there was so much abuse and pain idk if I’ll ever recover #I deserved it but it still hurts my heart #I was so mentally ill and sick I know it had to have been miserable to be around me #there are so many things only he understands and knows about me and I need to talk about them I j wanna b able to b there 4 each other #but that girl is so beyond insecure and controlling so. if I want to talk to who fuckin gets me I’m just fucked #why lead someone on like that for years knowing you’re going to abandon them the second it’s convenient

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cloudystevie · 3 months

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bridgerton season 3 sucked absolute ass

#spoilers!!! but ur not gonna miss much i promise #as an avid bridgerton fan girl trust me i have the credentials to talk about this guys #it was so unbelievably bad no one can convince me otherwise #where was the drama where was the build up where was the lust where was the groveling it was so bad #why did she have hybrid lash extensions and gelx almond nails like why were they wearing full fsces of charlotte tilbury #that hot air balloon scene pissed me off sooo bad like penelope girl STAND UP!!! dont piss me off what are u doing falling and tumbling the #balloon was gojng -4 km an hour GET UP!!!!!!!#the sex scenes were so mid like u guys wanna be simon and daphne soo bad #i was excited for penelope too like i love her character i relate to her so much it pisses me off they fumbled so hard #colin was always meh but penelope like u shouldve made him beg more and colin shouldve just wanted to beg more #who tf was lord debling i forgot he even existed when i watched part 2 like hes so irrevelevant #dont even get me started on how anti climactic it was when colin found out penelope was lady whistledown like #literally girl bye wasting my fucking time #thats all i came here to say ive been having a horrible time recently and this just pissed me off even more #bridgerton #bridgerton season 3

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orpheuslament · 1 year

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on the way back from the gym i saw two teenage girls on scooters in the middle of the road & they kept crossing each other & interlocking their feet & they looked like they were having so much fun i hope they have the best summer of their life

#it did make me fucking miserable bc i lost all my teenage years to crippling mental illness + being closeted so i never got to experience #that feeling of freedom. or at least i cant remember & i cant help but feel like something was stolen from me #i wish i could grab 13 year old dante by the shoulders & tell them to please please please make the most out of it #i know it feels like the world is going to end every single day but theres so many beautiful things to experience #& one day you will be 25 & you will miss yr friends & ask yourself why you wasted so much time #i know its not your fault you were just trying to survive & you did do beautiful things!!! but God #dante.txt

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lilacevans · 9 months

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it’s amazing how men can just ruin everything

#literally just by existing #like at what point do i say that’s enough #like how many times do you have to repeat that what’s happening is nothing do with them and yet they’re still like #but what did i do #lol nothing i’m going through something i don’t have to share every detail with you #i don’t understand it #how do they make everything about themselves #please i just want one good one #please #one that will just go okay ur upset and i did nothing and you want your space cool #not try and start a fucking argument and follow you around like a lost puppy #fuck offfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff #like i’ve lost all motivation now #he’s just taken it #and just as i was about to start and open up my laptop #he wants to come to bed #after spending the few hours i had downstairs with my laptop trying to cause an argument and distracting me #and if i go okay i’m gonna go back down then so i can do want i wanna do #it’ll be omg why do u never wanna spend time with me #WE LIVE TOGETHER #WE ARE TOGETHER 24/7 #all the timeeeeeee #but it’s fine when he wants to waste all his days on fucking warcraft #fuck offffff

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ruiiplume · 2 years

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A redraw of these earlier this year

Incoming old art jumpscare ⚠️⚠️⚠️

2011 and 2012 nightmare fuel

#redraw #skyward sword #zelink #link #zelda #ruii.art #legend of zelda #anyone who thinks 2011 and 2012 were better imma throw hands #i didn't fucking waste time redrawing this just for that backhand comment lmao #that's why it's a redraw gdi #you wouldn't like it if someone did that to you #even if it is 'shits and giggles'#but anywho i told you it's gonna be mulitfandom/multiship lol #cookie run ain't the only shit i drew #i'll still draw some old loz fanart ofc #im MUCH MORE content with my art now than i was a decade ago #idc if it gets no notes #im just happy to share this with at least one of y'all that is all

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clits-and-clips · 6 months

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Imisshimimisshimimisshimimisshim

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waywardsalt · 3 months

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bc its been bouncing around in my head i think another little tiny grievance i had with totk is that i got to the end and just felt a sense of ‘well what the hell was that all for then’

#salty talks #like. ok. look at me. do you ever think abt how link loses an arm but absolutely nothing comes of it #it was basically just an excuse to give him powers and there was nothing actually done with yknow #him losing an arm. or how the light dragon thing didnt really have any long lasting consequences #and generally like. i had to think for a moment to remember why the hell she did that #what was her purpose in the past again???? what did she accomplish actually??? oh right the fucking sword #its like. i get to the end and like nothing has changed it all resets to zero it barely even feels lile a change #woth the other races pledging loyalty like the past (gags) bc barely anything abt hyrule changed between those two times #mineru leaves. she was a lot of wasted potential. nothing CHANGED it all just reset back to the status quo #no one learned anything i feel nothing new or interesting just oh hyrule is good :) it all feels so hollow #like you go on this big adventure and then at the end you dust yourself off and go back to doing basically #exactly what you were doing before that all happened like nothing happened. thats how it felt. what was the point #yeah sure new zonai stuff but that never sinks in its not important to the main narrative so it feels like nothing #it just. felt like there was no real point to the adventure except to affirm that yeah the past was perfect keep doing that #while none of the characters actions really have any lasting weight to them and they barely feel involved #i need to stop i can feel myself wanting to keep going lol. link losing his arm but the game not at all engaging with it is frustrating #totk salt #like to me it’s an issue bc its a long game with a lot to do but when you reach the end it just rings so fucking hollow #the main story/narrative equivalent to all those fucking collection items where the prize is a useless fucking token

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skrunksthatwunk · 5 months

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why the fuck did i write about birds this fucking sucks. i just found out birds only sleep for a few minutes at a time, hundreds of times a day. do you know what this is going to do to my structure? the logistics of their road trip? this is already like three days late and i've been fighting for my life to get A Plot Like Any Plot That Makes Sense out and now the birds fucking sleep for 5 minutes at a time.

#i should've just bailed and written another story when i had the chance #i'm not joking i've never fought a fiction piece this hard before. usually because i'm not writing for specific deadlines #and not a piece so big. and not one that's gonna be workshopped. i wanna blow them away but if things keep going the way they are everyone'#gonna tell me the pacing sucks and it feels pointless and the characters feel really confused. I KNOW. I KNOW THAT. FUCKK #i'm the type to do about 15 passes before i let someone see my 'first draft' and i'm just not gonna be able to do that if i want to get it #in time for a workshop. every day i delay is making things harder for my classmates y'know?? but i've been writing like 1k words a day #and it's still not done. GUHH #I DON'T LIKE WRITING THESE CHARACTERS THAT MUCH THEY'RE NOT FUNNY OR ENDEARING AND THAT'S MY LIKE.#MAIN SKILL AND VIBE WITH SHORT STORY DUOS. BUT NOOOO I HAD TO MAKE THEM DIFFERENT CUZ I WAS SICK OF DOING #THE SAME DYNAMIC OVER AND OVER. BITCH THIS IS YOUR FINAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TRIED AND TRUE GETS THE BLUE (RIBBON)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#head in my hands head in my hands head in my hands head in my hands head #going to work on it some more. fuckk #the voices aren't consistent and i'm trying to make it clear that this is toxic bird yuri and not a mother/daughter thing but the maternal #themes are kind of fucking with that but they're important and i don't wanna get rid of them but it feels forced cuz im forcing it #sigh. i'm gonna have to cut the yuri. these two don't work romantically at all. what a waste of time.#i watched the entirety of mnthly girls' nozaki-kun in the past two days while avoiding writing. did you know that? the lengths to which i'l #go? anyway it was fun i appreciate fellow creative agony and i uh never knew how they did screen tones and wasn't expecting that somehow #so i learned something new (hooray). anyway back to. fucking. bird story stuff #i'm so mad i hate these two (<- lying. just pissy) i hate this story (<- mostly exaggerating. throwing a tantrum)#eughhhhhh i just wanna lie on the floor and cryyyyyyyyyy (<- completely deadpan irl. not That upset just kind of sick of shit)#i'm so burnt out and it's only gonna get worse. ughh #why can't someone just come in and write it for meeeeeeeeeeheheuhhh (<- would hate that)

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bunnihearted · 5 months

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🐰🌧️

#so on my way home..#i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future #i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were #bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected #a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati #that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful #and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old #live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :)#you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :)#you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!!#you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u!#whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️#god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE #i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things #now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao #there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives #by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it.#or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me #only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die #bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything #for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!!#not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right #i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax #but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭#my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became #bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life

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b4kuch1n · 2 years

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OOOUGGHAAAAAAA I DID IT I MANAGED TO DO INK WITH A DIP PEN

NEXT COMICS MEDIUM IS FUCKING SETTLED. YUUTO YOU WILL BE FED

#bakuspeech #hi I am Fucking Excite #litcherally. the last time I tried using any kind of dip pen it was a bamboo calligraphy pen #and I was. 18. the previous time I was 15 and even worse at it than then #fully went into this attempt already accepting I will probably be maybe marginally better #but!! it was pretty fun I did much okayer than expected!!!!#I need to be more confident with the pen but I can do that. I just need to do this a Lot #but like. I was Really scared. I didn't remember how a dip pen behaves at All #I tried freehanding some stuff before but it really is very different from a fineliner #half relieved my 200k vnd wont go to waste lmao. man. I was ready to bruteforce it #but I wont have to!!! as long as I have a decent concrete sketch!! itll be alright!!!!#yuuto origin comic is a fucking go. I WILL do this. mom I AM going to be a mangaka #well. a doujinka perhaps #dgsjdjjs sorry Im just. this is 13yo baku's unattainable dream!! part of why I #turned to wholesale digital art and eventually brush inking was because dip pens were #deeply scary and messy to me back then. I got ink Everywhere #now I didnt even make a spare fleck on this one!!! I can do it now!!!! dreams do fucking come true!!!!!!#literally bringing this piece of scrap around showing everyone like a kid who got perfect score on a test lmao #Im just. Im happy guys. Im so!!! auuughghhhh #I'll practice more tonite. I will Get Better At This. I will scribble a bunch more of yuuto #to get used to the style. I need a buncha outfit refs anyway #have a good day!! holds u hand everything is possible. try something u didnt have the chance to be good at as a kid again #life is fucking good sometimes!!!!!

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