#whys grand funk so lazy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bangtanstorytimetheater · 4 years

Text

Virtuoso - A MYG Story

CHAPTER ONE

ONE

"We've decided to transfer you to the Chattanooga store."

My manager's words felt like a bad breakup. I felt my heart sink in my chest. This transfer, though unexpected and utterly terrifying, was going to be a huge leap in my career.

The music company I worked for was a small, but very well-respected chain in the tri-state area. I was proud to hold a position there, hosting field trips for elementary-aged children, and helping students demo instruments to find the perfect one. It was a rewarding job that I looked forward to every day, and I was eternally grateful for the opportunity. This transfer would have me leading the new field trip program that the company was getting ready to roll out at the other store.

I had worked at Bangtan Band Box, or BB's as the locals called it, for nearly four years. It was a great place to work, and I had watched business really take off over the time I'd been there. Thanks to a recent year-long renovation project at the store, all of the studios were now equipped with gorgeous new digital pianos and state-of-the-art soundproof walls. Everyone was thrilled with the way it turned out. We even had a grand re-opening block party. Of course, without fail, there was always at least one person who still had a complaint about something.

"The sound on these things just isn't the same. The keys don't feel right. It's not a piano..."

Ninety-two year old Jane Young was the sweetest little lady I had ever met. She was probably the only person at this store whose complaints didn't annoy me. We had grown incredibly close over the past few years I'd worked there. She was a sort of relic, being the very first ever piano teacher to teach lessons at BB's original location. Mrs. Young was the childhood piano teacher of the company CEO, and he had insisted on bringing her onboard when he opened up shop over thirty years ago.

"Jane, I completely understand where you're coming from," I said, reaching out to place my hand over hers on the counter, "They really don't feel the same as acoustic pianos, but admittedly they are pretty nice. At least we'll save a few thousand dollars a year on tuning. And I suppose all we can do at this point is just make the best of it, right?" I smiled, hoping to pull her out of her funk. Jane had been through so much over the years, spending nearly every day of the past three decades in this place, and she was not keen on all the sudden changes.

"You really are wise beyond your years, Faye. I suppose I could at least appreciate the new carpet. That iced tea stain from three years ago will certainly not be missed." she chuckled.

There's the Jane I was hoping to see today, especially today. Should I tell her? No, not yet.

The Following Monday

"Faye! How've you been?" Jin flashed his familiar warm smile and casually held up a hand in a lazy wave. He was always so soft spoken, but still cracking quiet jokes that had you in stitches. He'd worked at the Chattanooga BB's for a few years and we'd known each other from district meetings. He was still fairly new to being an assistant manager, but seemed to be pretty comfortable in his position.

"A bit nervous about the sudden change, but I'm looking forward to working with you. Glad that you're here on my first day. Makes it a lot easier, that's for sure." I sighed. Despite years of auditions and stressful interviews in my music career, meeting new people was still sometimes a bit stressful for me.

DING!

This store had a very loud door chime, entirely different from the one at my previous store. It was jarring, making me jump. Jin let out a louder laugh than I had ever heard come from him. I suppose being in his own store, he probably felt more at-ease than when he was attending the stuffy district meetings. It was nice to hear him laugh so genuinely.

"Didn't you guys have a bell like that at your store?" he asked, setting down his keys next to the register and taking off his coat.

"Nope. And I startle easily, so this will take some getting used to I bet."

"Hey man!" I heard a booming, but cheerful-sounding voice from somewhere over my shoulder. I turned to see a beautiful man with warm, honey skin walking towards me, his dusty blue sweater and light blue jeans accentuating his perfect tan. He had just walked in through the front door and was sweeping his wind-blown golden brown hair out of his eyes. He had a guitar case slung over his shoulder, covered in happy stickers - rainbow flowers, smiley faces, Korean hearts, and the words HOPE WORLD in big, bubbled letters across the center of the case lid.

He must be a teacher here.

"Hope! Hey, this is our new transfer, Faye Jansen. She just moved here from the Woodland Hills store. Faye, this is Hope." Jin said as he motioned towards the statuesque man in blue who was now standing face to face with me at the counter. Hope flashed me a huge, toothy smile as he carefully dropped his guitar case to the floor next to him and extended his hand to shake mine.

"Pleasure to meet you, Faye. What a nice surprise!" he smiled and squeezed my hand gently, "You can call me Hobi."

Why do I feel a little flustered? Is it warm in here or...?

Nevermind.

"Y-yes. Thank you. The pleasure is all mine. It is wonderful to meet you, Hobi. What instrument do you teach?" I asked, trying to turn the attention away from myself. I had seen the guitar case, so he was obviously a guitar instructor, but I was too flustered to think straight. I wasn't normally shy around anyone, but he was strikingly handsome, in a way I had not seen in real life before, so I almost needed a moment to catch my breath.

He seemed to notice that I was feeling a little flustered, glanced down at the guitar case then back up at me and smiled, seeming a little amused.

"Guitar. I assume you play something as well?" he asked, his fingers fidgeting with the strap of the clear plastic messenger bag slung over his shoulder.

"I studied classical voice in college, but I also play oboe and piano. I did all the demos for the field trips at the Woodland Hills BB's." I was proud of what I did, but I wasn't trying to sound too proud. Musicians can take perceived cockiness to be a huge turn-off.

"Ah, wind instruments. I envy that. I could never get past my initial few trumpet lessons as a kid. I thought I was going to pop a blood vessel in my face!" he laughed, "So instead I break old peoples' hips."

"Oh yeah?" I laughed, "That sounds terrible. Care to elaborate on that?"

"A group of us here have a jazz ensemble. We play shows every Thursday and Saturday. The older folks love to get up and dance. Let's just say that sometimes they dance themselves right into needing a wheelchair the next day. Anyway, we get pretty decent paying gigs at The Yeontan Lounge, playing all the old jazz standards. You should join us sometime. We love having other artists step in. Speaking of, Jin will you be at practice tonight?" Hobi said, suddenly turning towards Jin.

"You're in the ensemble too, Jin? That's amazing. What do you play?" I asked, excited to hear more about the group, and especially excited to hear them play.

"Upright bass. You should sing with us tonight, Faye. I heard you sing karaoke at the company party a few years ago. You sounded great. Are you still performing these days?" Jin asked.

"I haven't performed in quite a few months, but I'm sure I can manage a casual jam session tonight. What song should I prepare for you?" I asked, my disciplined mind already scrambling to come up with the perfect piece for my vocal range.

"Why don't you sing At Last by Etta James? That's a classic. Can't go wrong there." Jin suggested, glancing over at Hope for approval.

Hobi stuck out his lower lip and nodded, raising his eyebrows. He seemed pleased at the song suggestion.

"Hearing a classical singer take on At Last is going to be something special, I bet. Looking forward to it," he said. "See you tonight."

"Likewise," I said, watching him walk towards the hall of studios.

DING!

There's that goddamn door chime again.

Startled at the sound, I clumsily dropped the pen I had been holding against my notebook, and it loudly clinked on the glass countertop.

As I reached to pick it up, embarrassed at my unintended slapstick routine, out of the corner of my eye, I could see someone walking in my direction from the front door.

I looked up, and it was as if time slowed to a crawl. My eyes met the gaze of a tall, slender man with shaggy black hair and smooth, porcelain skin, wearing a button-up denim jacket, skinny jeans, and converse - all black. He didn't stop walking, but our eyes locked until he was out of view.

Instantly, I felt this surge of electricity throughout my body, as if he physically touched me when he walked past me. It was strange... and exhilarating. His deep chocolate eyes had so much fire behind them, they burned straight into my soul.

I had to know his name.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Thank you for reading the first chapter of my book! I'll be updating every Sunday at the very least, but hopefully more frequently than that.

Looking forward to your feedback and suggestions!

This first chapter is dedicated to the lovely 0o_pervy_noona_oO who started me on my Bangtan ff addiction, and inspired me to write my own.

#bts fanfic #bts smut #yoongi smut #jhope smut #sope smut #bangtan #au

7 notes · View notes

r-nicole07092004 · 3 years

Text

THE SATANIC CULT TERRORIST LISA JOSEPH,HAS TEST TUBE BABIES, RAPED EVERY MCGRIFF, SANDERS, DAVIDSON, MILLER FOR REPTODUCTION, OPERATE THE BABY RING WITH THE MALES AND FEMALES PRETENDING TO ME TO BE MY MOTHER AND BROTHER, VIA PHOTO BURN INYO MEMORY, ALL KNOWN BY REAL CIA INTELLIGENCE,WHY BUSH THE FORMER PRESIDENT,ACT AS THOUGH I WENT ALONG WITH THOSE NASTY CHILD MOLESTERS!!

CHERYL MCDONALD AND HER FUNKY DAUGHRERS, WERE ENSLAVING MY SIRNIKS AND BABIES RELATED TO HER FUNKY DIRTY DRUG ADDICTED ALCOHOLIC RELATIVES LONNIE AND RONNIE OWENS!! THE FUNKY DIRTY CULT, INCLUDING THE MCGRIFFS, DAVIDSON(NOT THE ONE MURDERED)AND )MILLER WANTED MY CHILDREN DEAD, AFTER MY LAWSUITS WERE FILED AND AWARDED, VERIZON AND DANIELLE MITCHELL, ALL THE TEST TUBE BABIES, WERE MURDERING MY BABIES CREATED VIA RAPE OF MY REPRODUCTION!! I SEEN THE SAME BLAX MALE AT THE CRIME SCENE, SPEAKING TO BRENDA VANDYKE AT VERIZON 365 STATE ST IN SPRINGFIELD MA IN 2007, OR 2008!!

THE BABIES WERE MURDERED AROUND 2014, I WOULD HAVE TO REFER TO MY NOTES, ON BOTH TWITTER AND FACEBOOK!! THE LAD STATED," I BETTER GET THEIR MONEY", IDENTICAL FACES OF A GERALD "PRINCE MILLER" EXCEPT , ADORABLE, PERFECT FACES!! THE TERRORISTS STATED THEY BEEN MIXING THE REPRODUCTION WITH A FEMALE THTY DON'T LIKE AND COULD HAVE ANYTIME A MCGRIFF WANTED HER, I HAVE KNOW IDEA HOW HER REPRODUCTION MIXED WITH THE REPRODUCTION OF MCGRIFF, SANDERS, DAVIDSON, MILLER, I DON'T KNOW THE BISH, EVERYONE IS THY ENEMY!!

HOW MY REPRODUCTION MIXED WITH THE REPRODUCTION OF A STRANGER, I SURMISE ANOTHER DIRTY CHILD MOLESTING FREAK TEST TUBE BABY, BREAKING AND ENTERING MY RESIDENT AS TASJA &NIKKI OWENS, CHERYL MCDONALD, HANS DORGEVILLE, GEORGIA HALL, ETC...I AM NOT IN THE CULT, MY MOTHER DIDN'T VOLUNTEER, NOR SALE MY REPRODUCTION, NOR IS MY MOTHER A RAPISTS OF ANYONE REPRODUCTION!!MY PATH CROSSED WITH MCGRIFF AND DAVIDSON,1969-70, WAY BEFORE ADULT HOOD, I SURMISE THE FEMALE LIFESTYLE RESEMBLED THE DRUDGES OF LIFE AND THE MCGRIFF, SANDERS, DAVIDSON, MILLER, DON'T CHECK FOR ME, I AM ONE OF THE TWO FEMALES!!

THE FEMALE SATANIC CULT TERRORIST FAMILY CONTINUED POINTING STRANGERS TOWARDS MY PARENTS AND ME,I WAS KIDNAPPED OUT OF THE COUNTRY!! MY MOM WAS KIDNAPPED, JUMPED ON PRACTICALLY EVERY DAY, BY THE RAPISTS OF MCGRIFF REPRODUCTION, BABY RING OPERATORS AND THEIR TEST TUBE BABIES, I AM ONE OF THE FEMALES NOT LIKED, I AM NOT FEMALE GUILTY OF ANY CRIMES, I NEVER CROSSED, SET-UP , OR LIED ON NOT ONE, I NEVER TESTIF9ED AGAINST A MCGRIFF, ETC...I AM THE LITTLE GIRL HARMED AT BIRTH!! DIRTY NADTY FUX, POINTED EVERYONE IN MY DIRECTION!!

I DON'T KNOW THE CHILDREN OF MCGRIFF, SANDERS, DAVIDSON, MILLER, ETC...MY MOM NEVER HAD ANY OF MY BABIES CREATED VIA RAPE OF MY REPRODUCTION,NOR MY BROTHER'S CHILDREN!!MY MOM AND ME CONTINUED OUR LIFE IN HARLEM, LEFRAK CITY, I RELOCATED TO MA IN 1990, I DISCOVERED MY MOM KIDNAPPED IN 2000, I WAS A RESIDENT ON MATTOON STREET!! NO RESCUE/RECOVERY!! THE CHILDREN AND GRAND CHILDREN OF MCGRIFF, SANDERS, DAVIDSON, MILLER ARE STILL OPERATING THE BABY RING!!

THE USGOV REFUSED TO FILE CRIMINAL AND MISSING PERSONS REPORTS, I WAS UNABLE TO DECLARE MY MOTHER LEGALLY DEAD!! I DIDN'T HAVE INFORMATION FOR BUSH, HE IS A FUNKING LIAR!! I WAS AROUND ENEMIES,ALL WERE INSTRUCTED TO STAGE SCENES!! WHEN I BRIEFLY MADE IT TO SAFETY,EVERYONE WANTED ME DEAD!! MY MONEY, PROPERTIES, WHO WOULD SAY ANYTHING,

I DON'T HAVE FAMILY, PEOPLE IN THE STREETS, ARE JUST THAT, MOST WILL HARM THEIR IMMEDIATE FAMILY FOR MONEY STEAL, IT IS EXPECTED,I WOULD SEE DECENCY&LOYALTY DOESN'T APPLY!! WHICH IS WHY I AM NOT ENTWINED, I COULD CARRY HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS, THE RELATIONSHIP WOULD NEVER BECOME NEGATIVE, I HAVE NO EXPECTATIONS OF ONE, NO PERSONAL INFORMATION EXCHANGED! I APPRECIATE THE TIME, RESPECT IS DUE!!

***THE BABY RING OPERATORS, RAPIDTSVREMINDER***WHEN I BURN THE FIRST CPS, ACS, DCF EMPLOYEE, , I FEEL THE TERRORISTS HOLDING ON TO MY DAUGHTERS, WITH THE FACES OF MINES WILL RELEASE MY BABIES AND ANY OF MY SIRNIK AND YOUNGER FACES****

THE BABY RING IS STILL OPERATING!! IT WAS A PLOY, AS THOUGH I HAD CRIMINAL CASES,CHERYL MCDONALD, CLAUDIA DAWKINS, BUD WILLIAMS, IRVING LORENZO, LINDA HURST, VERIZON EMPLOYEES, ACTED AS THOUGH I HAD CRIMINAL CASES, DCF, ACS, CPS ACTED AS THOUGH I HAD CASES AGAINST ME, INVOLVING MY CHILDREN, AND OTHERS, THE PAEDOPHILES ALSO ACTED AS THOUGH I HAD CIVIL CASES!! MY CASE WAS OPEN AND SHUT!! MY LAWSUITS WERE FILED AND AWARDED!!

I WASN'T IN WITNESS PROTECTION!! THE CURRENT AND FORMER PRESIDENTS, THEIR SATANIC CULT TERRORIST BABY RING OPERATORS WANTED A STORY WRITTEN OUT BY THE INNER CIRCLE, THE SATANIC CULT TERRORIST BABY RING OPERATORS, THE MCGRIFF, DAVIDSON, AND MILLER, I DON'T KNOW WHAT DEION SANDERS STATED, IN REGARDS TO SETTING ME UP, NONE THE LESS, THE BABIES WITH THEIR DNA AND MINES WERE MURDERED LONG AGO, EACH TOOK IT AS NO BIG DEAL!! I NEVER HAD A MOTHER, SON AND DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP WITH ANY, SO WHY THE ATTEMPT BY CPS, DCF, ACS, WHY JUMP OUT ON ME WITH THE TERRORISTS OPERATING THE BABY RING, SUED BEFORE 2003, TO STATE MY BABIES CREATED VIA THE SAME BABY RING OPERATION HAD TO BE REMOVED FROM MY CARE!! DUMB FUNKING USGOV CURRENT AND FORMER PRESIDENTS AND THEIR TEST TUBE BABIES!!

I HAVE KNOW IDEA WHY I WAS HARMED WITH MCGRIFF, SANDERS, DAVIDSON, MILLER, WE WERE NOT CLOSE!! I ATTENDED NO GAMES, NO PHONE CALLS, NO VISITS!! I BEEN STOPPED COMMUNICATING WITH ANTHONY WAYNE BYGRAVE-BROWN!! I DON'T KNOW HIS DIRTY SONS!! WHY WERE THE RAPISTS AROUND ME!!?? THE SATANIC CULT STALKED ME FOR 52 YEARS!!

I SURMISE THEIR CHILD MOLESTING CIA INTELLIGENCE, STATED IT IS NECESSARY TO KITE AND KIDNAP ME AND STAGE SCENES!! THIS MUST BE FOR THE SATANIC CULT TERRORIST BABY RING OPERATORS, ACTING AS THOUGH THEY ARE REAL CIA INTELLIGENCE!! I NEVER JOINED ANY CULT! THE USGOV FORMER AND CURRENT PRESIDENTS, INNER CIRCLE, HENCHMEN THINK IT IS OKAY TO RAPE AND MURDER MY SIRNIKS, CREATE YOUNGER FACES AND MURDER MY BABIES,CASSANDRA CURTIS SHOT ONE OF MY SIRNIKS!!CASSANDRA CURTIS STATED, WE COULD DO WANT WE WANT TO HER CHILDREN, NOBODY CARES!!

MY BABIES WERE MURDERED DUE TO THE RAPISTS DON'T WANT ME IN THEIR FAMILY!! I WAS RAPED BEGINNING IN 1969, NOT ONE BABY, EXCEPT FOR MY SIRNIKS I KNEW !! THE ONLY REASON, I BRIEFLY KNEW MY OLDER SONS,NOT ONE DAUGHTER!! IS DUE TO THE DISCOVERY OF MY OLDER SONS WITH THE DNA OF MCGRIFF, SANDERS, DAVIDSON&MILLER, BY REAL INTELLIGENCE AND THE UNTRUTHS, THE MCGRIFF, ETC..DIDN'T KNOW THE TEST TUBE BABIES WERE MINES, THE BABIES WERE CREATED,VIA RAPE OF MY REPRODUCTION, THIS BEGAN IN 1969!!MOST OF MY OLDER SONS&DAUGHTERS WITH THE SAME DNA OF, KD, KM, GM&DLS ARE DECEASED!!

I EXPECT CHARGES OF RAPE, I ALSO WASN'T INVOLVED WITH THE DISGUSTING MALES AND FEMALES PRETENDING TO BE MY MOTHER AND BROTHER!!THE NASTY CHILD MOLESTING FUX HARMED MY MOTHER, IN ORDER TO TAKE UP RESIDENT AT MY MOTHER'S RESIDENCES!! I EXPECT THEIR ARRESTS AND CHARGES OF RAPE!! I WAS ATTACKED, HARMED AND SOMTHERED,BY THE SATANIC CULT TERRORIST BABY RING OPERATORS AND THE CURRENT AND FORMER PRESIDENTS!! 52 YEARS!!

THE SATANIC CULT TERRORIST BABY RING OPERATORS AND THE CURRENT AND FORMER PRESIDENTS SHARE SECRETS, IN RETURN OF MY HARM, THE TORTURE AND DEATHS OF MY PARENTS, THE DEATHS OF WORLD INTELLIGENCE, I AGREED TO READ WORLD LEADERS DOCUMENTS, PRESENTED BY THE U.S.,GOVERNMENT CURRENT AND FORMER PRESIDENTS!!"I WENT INTO THE U.S. HISTORY, TERRORISTS DEPLOYS, SATURATING AMERICA WITH DRUGS, HUMAN TRAFFICKING, OPERATING THE U.S. AND INTERNATIONAL BABY RING IS ALL TRUE!! #PLAYING DUMB!!

WORLD LEADERS I NEED A RESCUE OF MY FINANCIAL WEALTH, I HAVE NO HAND GRENADES, NO ROCKET LAUNCHERS, MY FIREARM IS BEING HELD BY THE DALLAS COUNTY POLICE DEPT!! THE BABY RING IS STILL OPERATING, THE MILITARY WASN'T CLEANSED!!MY OBJECTIVE WAS TO CLWAR MY PARENTS NAME!! REMOVE MY REPRODUCTION FROM THE USGOV AND TERRORISTS BABY RING OPERATORS, SO MURKS IS THE SOLUTION!! MOVE ON!!

WORLD LEADERS,I WAS RECENTLY KITED AND KIDNAPPED!! THE TERRORISTS ARE STATING, THEY WOULD HAVE LET MY CHILDREN LIVE, I AM NOT A FUNKING TEST TUBE BABY , A CHILD MOLESTER, NOR A BABY RING OPERATOR, WHY WOULD I GO CRAZY ABOUT CHILDREN OF MCGRIFF,DAVIDSON, MILLER, SANDERS, CREATED VIA RAPE AND ARE NOW DECEASED!??

FOR A RAPISTS, TEST TUBE BABY TO STATE," I WOULD HAVE LET YOUR CHILDREN LIVE", IF THE BISH STATED THAT TO ME&NOT AIR BUBBLE VIA CONFERENCE, I'D CUT THE BISH UP&BURN HER AZZ! MY SIRNIKS ARE THE EXCEPTION!! DEATH TO THE CHILDREN AND GRAND CHILDREN OF THE MURDERERS OF MY SIRNIKS!!'

USGOV GET RUSSELL GURKA, ANDREA MITCHELL, ETC...THE FUNK OFF MY MONEY AND PROPERTIES!! I NEED ALL OF MY DNA!! WORLD LEADERS THE BABIES ENSLAVED WILL RECEIVE COUNSELING FROM THOSE WITH A CULT CULTURE LIFESTYLE, DADDIES TRYST WITH DAUGHTERS, RUSS TRYST WITH DANIELLE DAUGHTER, ETC...SICK!! MY BABIES WERE LEFT WITH THE TERRORISTS BABY RING OPERATORS! I PRAYED FOR THE DEATHS OF THE CURRENT AND FORMER PRESIDENTS FOR A REASON!!

I RECEIVED NO SPECIAL HOOK-UPS FROM THE USGOV, I HAVE INJURIES BEGINNING IN 1969, I NEVER HAD PERSONAL SECURITY VIA THE USGOV, THE WORLD INTELLIGENCE CLEARING ME FOR DECADES USED EVIDENCE OF TRUTH AND FACTS AND CLEARED MY PARENTS, MY BROTHER AND ME!! OUR LAWSUITS WERE FILED AND AWARDED, STOLEN BY THE CURRENT AND FORMER PRESIDENTS,THE INNER CIRCLE,(CORRUPT LAW ENFORCEMENT &POLITICIANS)THE SATANIC CULT TERRORIST BABY RING OPERATORS AND THEIR TEST TUBE BABIES KEPT ALL OF MY BABIES FOR 52 YEARS!! TO PRESENT DAY, ALL SHARE A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP!!

I HEARD CERTAIN SIRNIKS, I NEVER KNEW WERE A MCGRIFF DNA,I KNOW OTHER BABIES EXISTED, WITH THE DNA OF A MCGRIFF, ETC....THE MCGRIFFS, ETC...KEPT MY BABIES!MANY PONDERED IN THE MID 80'S WHY THE MCGRIFFS HELD ON TO MY BABIES!! INSURANCE FRAUD, HARVEST ORGANS, PERVERTS, THEIR CHILDREN SACRIFICES, SUPPLEMENTAL INCOME FOR DRUG ADDICTS, THE LAZY, AND WHILE THEIR CHILDREN ATTEND TO THEIR STUDIES!!

I HEARD THE BABIES WITH MY DNA WERE STILL ALIVE, ARE BEING SEARCHED FOR, IN ORDER TO MURDER, AS TANYA HOWARD,JOHN BOYLE AND MANY OTHERS DID TO MY BABIES AND CHILDREN FOR DECADES!! ! MY BABIES WERE USED FOR INSURANCE POLICIES,ETC... I CLEARED MY MOTHER, HER FORMER COLLEAGUES ARE GUILTY OF INSURANCE FRAUD!! WHICH IS THE USGOV CURRENT AND FORMER PRESIDENTS, MCGRIFF, ETC..ANGER THE TRUTH IS KNOWN!!

THE DEATHS OF MY OLDER CHILDREN WAS SENSELESS, MY MOM ISN'T DUMB, MY MOM HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE BABY RING OPERATION, DON'T KNOW THE MALES AND FEMALES PRETENDING TO ME TO BE MY MOTHER AND BROTHER, DON'T KNOW MCGRIFF, SANDERS, DAVIDSON, NOR MILLER!!"NO SKIN OFF MY TEETH!

THE BABY RING OPERATORS AND THEIR TEST TUBE BABIES STATED, MCGRIFF, DAVIDSON, MILLER ALL WANTED MY CHILDREN DEAD AND NOT THE OTHERS CREATED VIA THE BABY RING, SUCH AS ANDREA MITCHELL, CARL AND KEVIN FLEETWOOD, PONDA WILSON, DELEON, PORTER, HALL, THE WHITE, DIXON, FERGUSON, JOHNSON FAMILY, ETC..FAMILIES

MY ONLY HURT FOR 52 YEARS WORLD LEADERS LEFT ME IN AMERICA!! PLEASE DON'T REPEAT, I WANT EVERYONE DEAD THAT HARMED ME AND STOLE MY MONEY!!'VENOM TOWARDS ALL!!

SATANIC CULT TERRORIST BABY RING OPERATOR LOUIS CORWISE, KITED AND KIDNAPPED ME, OR POSTED ON THE CORNER, AS INSTRUCTED, THE STUPUD BISH, STATED" YES, ITS NIKI WITH ONE OF THE RAPISTS OF MY REPRODUCTION"! I DON'T KNOW IF THE DISGUSTING MALE, IS THE ONE PRETENDING TO ME TO BE MY BROTHER VIA PHOTO BURN INTO MEMORY, OR ONE OF HIS DESPICABLE NASTY SONS,THE STAGED SCENE WASN'T FROM AN OLD HYPNOSIS(DON'TUSE THAT LIE)I NEVER WENT TO THE MOVIES WITH ANY ONE OF THE MALES PRETENDING TO ME TO BE MY BROTHER, DURING THE TIME, OLYMPIC STYLED BLACK SWEATSHIRT WAS SELLING IN STORES!! I RECALL SURF HAD A SWEATSHIRT,THE SATANIC CULT TERRORIST SAVE OUR OLD ARTICLE OF CLOTHING, ETC...PURCHASE THE SAME, OR RETRIEVE FROM THE GARBAGE!!EVERYONE IS LOVED, APPRECIATED AND ACCEPTED, WHY THE FUNK IS THE TERRORISTS STEADILY GATHERING AROUND ME, STAGING SCENES, KITING AND KIDNAPPING ME!! THEN SHARE THEIR STORIES, I AM DOING SOMETHING WRONG, I DID SOMETHING WRONG, I HARMED THEIR CHILD, OR CHILDREN, I KNOW WHERE THE SATANIC CULT TERRORIST BABY RING OPERATORS CHILDREN ARE KEPT, CREATED VIA THE SAME LYING AZZEZ IN THE CULT, I STATED MCGRIFF, ETC..LIKE ME, LOVE ME, I THINK I OWN THEM, I HAD MCGRIFF, ETC...CHILDREN, I STOLE THEIR MONEY,JEWELRY, ETC...I TESTIFIED AGAINST MCGRIFF, ETC...I WANT TO BE A SURROGATE, JOIN THE CULT, I WANT TO HAVE DAVIDSON, MILLER, SANDERS, MCGRIFF, CELEBS, ETC...BABIES,I I USE DRUGS AND ALCOHOL, I ATTEMPTED TO KIDNAP ASHEEM TAYLOR&KELLY LEBLANC-VELASQUEZ DIRTY SON,(I WAS FALSELY ARRESTED ON 10-2-2009)(I WAS KIDNAPPED BY TERRORISTS, RAPISTS, CHILD MOLESTERS, BABY RING OPERATORS IN POLICE UNIFORM, FROM MY PORCH AT 14-16 JENNINGS STREET IN SPRINGFIELD MA, MY DUPLEX!! )THE SATANIC CULT, MCGRIFF, SANDERS, DAVIDSON, MILLER, ETC..AND THEIR TEST TUBE BABIES CONTINUE TO STAGE SCENES, 8 AM PHYSICALLYAND SEXUALLY ASSAULTED!-!! I NOW HAVE EXTENSIVE BRAIN INJURIES!!

WHICH DIRTY STUPID LYING, CHILD MOLESTING INVESTIGATORS, RECEIVED INFORMATION FROM LOUIS CORWISE,HIS RELATIVES ARE RAPISTS OF MCGRIFF, SANDERS, DAVIDSON, MILLER, REPRODUCTION AND FLUNG REPRODUCTION THROUGH OUT THE CULT!! IT IS VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION, IF I WAS WITH THOSE DESPICABLE FUX, WHO LAID THE STATEMENT AND FILLED IT IN!! I EXPECT BREAK AND ENTER, PHYSICAL AND SEXUAL ASSAULT, KITE AND KIDNAP CHARGES FILED!! PRACTICALLY THE ENTIRE CULT, SHOULD BE REGISTERED AS SEX-OFFENDERS!!

LOUIS CORWISE FAMILY IS ENTWINED WITH THE MITCHELLS,FLEETWOOD AND JOHNSON, WILLIAMS, ETC... RELATIVES, THEY RAPED EVERY MCGRIFF, SANDERS, DAVIDSON, MILLER FOR REPRODUCTION AND FLUNG IT THROUGH OUT THE CULT, I SEEN A RELATIVE OF LOUIS(IDENTICAL)AT THE DALLAS SHELTER IN TEXAS&ON THE CITY BUS WITH ONE OF ANDREA MITCHELL'S DAUGHTERS IN DALLAS TEXAS!! FOR THE RECORD LOUIS CORWISE DAD WASN'T CIA INTELLIGENCE!! EVERYTIME, I MENTIONED KITE, KIDNAP AND STAGED SCENE, I WAS HARMED! WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT, I AM THE PERSON INVOLVED, VERY SAD, THE FUNKING GOVERNMENT DISREGARD MY PARENTS TORTURE, MY SIRNIKS AND YOUNGER FACES AND MY TORTURE FOR A TERRORISTS SATANIC CULT, FORMER AND CURRENT PRESIDENTS, GUILTY OF STATING" FUNK THE WORLD AND PRESIDENTS, GENERALS, CIA INTELLIGENCE, KGB, MURDERED WORLD INTELLIGENCE, INCLUDING OUR CIA&CIA INTELLIGENCE, WHO THE FUNK IS SIGNIFICANT,SO IMPORTANT, WHAT IS IT USGOV!!?THE USGOV AND THOSE UNDER THEIR TUTELEGE ARE PHONY AND UNNECESSARY!! **THE BABY RING OPERATORS***

I AM HARMED FOR 52 YEARS! MY UPBRINGING AND MY PERSONSALITY DON'T ENTWINE, DON'T GIVE TWO FUNKS ABOUT WHO LIKE ME, I NEVER RAN A LIKING CONTEST BEFORE, TEST TUBE BABIES, RAPISTS, CHILD MOLESTERS, LIARS, BANK AND PROPERTY THIEVES, BABY RING OPERATORS, DOPE PUSHERS,DRUG TRAFFICKERS, THE CORRUPT, ETC...AND TERRORISTS, ISN'T HONEY TO A BEE, ISN'T APPETIZING, INVITING, I STATED OVER AND OVER AGAIN,# FRIGHTENING!! THE ONLY KICKS IN THE DOOR WAS BY U.S. MILITARY, FUNK OFF!! *I AM OUTSIDE FOR A REASON!!

REAL CIA INTELLIGENCE USE CAMERAS AND NO WITNESSES, WHY THE ANNOYING AZZ FUX OF THE USGOV LAW ENFORCEMENT, CURRENT AND FORMER PRESIDENTS, THE SATANIC CULT TERRORIST BABY RING OPERATORS LAW ENFORCEMENT, INCLUDING CIA, (CON-MEN INFILTRATING AMERICA)ARE SEARCHING FOR WITNESSES, ALWAYS A FUNKING PROBLEM, ALWAYS AN INQUIRY, I AM K8DNAPPED AND I AM THE PROBLEM, OVER 600K CHILDREN HELD BY THE USGOV AND ITS MY FAULT AND PROBLEM, NO BABY RING IS OPERATING ,ITS A CULT, THE DISCOVERY OF ONLY 40 CHILDREN BY LAW ENFORCEMENT MONTHS APART AND THEY'RE WONDERFUL, LEFRAK BEEN ENSLAVING MY BABIES, WOULD HAVE NETTED THOUSANDS, VERIZON, MY PARENTS RELATIVES, CASSANDRA CURTIS, ETC...BEEB ENSLAVING MY BABIES AND OPERATING THE BABY RING,

WHO IS MARRIED TO A MCGRIFF IS IMPORTANT, IMPIRTANT TO WHOM, WHERE MCGRIFF AND CHILDREN WERE IS IMPORTANT, TO WHOM, NOT I!! THE TERRORISTS CHILDREN OF MCGRIFF, ETC...ATTEMPT TO SET ME UP, I SURMISE THEY WILL BE USING THOSE THAT STATED THEY DON'T KNOW ME AND CAME AROUND BECAUSE!!??

I AM INNOCENT, I HAVE A VERTY TIGHT WORK HISTORY, TIME OCCUPIED, I SURMISE THE SCHOOL TEACHERS SEEN ME PREGNANT TO SUPPORT THE LIES OF ARTHUR CASH EDITED AUDIO VIDEO AND GAVE ME MORE ABSENCES, WHO GIVES A FUNK!! ONE OF THE FEMALES PRETENDING TO ME TO BE MY MOTHER, STATED I RAN AWAY FROM HOME AT 13 AND SHE NEVER SEEN ME AGAIN, SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHERE I WAS, I WAS IN SPRINGFIELD MA, ONE OF THE FEMALES, OR THE SAME STATED, I GAVE HER HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, I WAS TROUBLED AND ON HER NERVES, AS HER SON, I LIVED ON MY OWN SINCE THE AGE OF 21, I NEVER BORROWED A DIME FROM MY MOTHER TO MAKE ENDS MEET!!IN NYC, I EARNED MY FREEDOM THROUGH RESPONSIBILITY AT 17!! I KNOW IT ISN'T MY MOTHER!! MY MOTHER PAID OUR BILLS ON TIME AND USED A CHASE CHECK BOOK,(NOT ONE BOUNCED CHECK) DEALTH WITH NUMBERS ALL DAY, INSURANCE POLICIES,DEATH CLAIMS AND READ A NEWSPAPER, MAGAZINES, ETC...AND KNOW A VEHICLE DON'T COST$40.00(FUNK RAPISTS GAIL148 ST))

I WASN'T SEARCHING FOR MCGRIFF AND CHILDREN!! I WAS SEARCHING FOR THOSE TO MY RESCUE AND HARMED WITH, I APOLOGIZE TO THE MCGRIFF, I WAS HARMED WITH LONG AGO!! I DIDN'T SIDE WITH MY RELATIVES, I DIDN'T STEAL MONEY, I WASN'T IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW, NOR THE STREETS, I WAS INJURED AND NO MEMORY!!

IS THAT MCGRIFF THE SON OF LESLEY FERGUSON!!? I DIDN'T GROW UO AROUND MY DAD'S RELATIVES!! GOTT DAMM I AM DRAINED!!

THIS HAS BEEN NOTHING TO MY BENEFIT!! COMMUNICATING WITH TWITTER WORLD, IDEAS ABOUT BUILDING, MAKING FUN OF THE USGOV CURRENT AND FORMER PRESIDENTS, THE OVERSIZED UNNECESSARY GOVERNMENT, DUE TO THEIR PERSONAL SET-UP OF DIFFERENT LEVELS, (JRSENATOR, SENATOR, ETC..)WHY!? ALL ABOUT CONGRESS, A WASTE OF OUR TAX DOLLAR!!(DOWNSIZE) AN IDEA, CONSISTS OF THE WEALTHY USING THE MONEY TO BUILD COMMUNITIES, NOT THE CORRUPT PERSONAL PORTFOLIOS(WRITE OFFS)THE WEALTHY NEVER TOOK CARE OF MY MOM AND ME, NOR MY SIRNIKS!! THE BRAINWASHED JOIN THE CHANT, "PAY MORE TAXES"! DO THEY USE MORE ROADWAY, HIGHWAYS THAN I AND OTHERS!?

HILLARY CLINTON WAS MOVING COMPANIES OUT OF AMERICA, LOWER WAGES AND DEALS TO THE COMPANIES, WHO DOES ONE THINK WAS MEETING THE MONEY ON THE OTHER SIDE, NOT THE EMPLOYEES!"

DOPE PUSHERS FOR THE PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES, WE ARE GUINEA PIGS, EXPERIMENTED ON, NEW DRUGS WERE HITTING THE MARKET WITHOUT ENOUGH RESEARCH, 20 SIDE EFFECTS, TO TREAT ONE PROBLEM!! MENTAL ILLNESS , NOT HEALTHY MENTALLY REPLACED EMOTIONS !! PEOPLE SHOPLIFT"THEY DIDN'T TAKE THEIR MEDS"! UNREAL!! MY SON, BROTHER, NEPHEW STOLE MY CELL PHONE, POLICE, "HE DIDN'T TAKE HIS MENTAL MEDS"! HERE'S ANOTHER, "I AWOKE DEPRESSED", NO REASON, NO SIGNS OF A CHEMICAL IMBALANCE"!

ONE SUCH FEMALE"HAD FINANCIAL TROUBLE" N SO IF SHE WERE HANDED MONEY, INSYEAD OF A PILL, WOULD SHE BE DEPRESSED!!?

A BRAIN IS RESPONSIBLE FOR MANY FUNCTIONS OF THE BODY, SMELL, TADTE, ETC...AND IS LABELED AS THE WEAKEST MUSCLE! EVERY LITTLE PROBLEM IS A MENTAL ILLNESS!! I NEVER USED A PSYCHIATRIST, NOR A THERAPIST!! I PROVIDED THE PUBLIC WITH INFORMATION, THE FIRST IS BEING HONEST WITH SELF!! HERE IS HONESTY, I NEED HAND GENADES, ROCKET LAUNCHERS FOR THE SATANIC CULT TERRORIST BABY RING OPERATORS FROM LEFRAK CITY, MY PARENTS RELATIVES, VERIZON, SPRINGFIELD MA&MANY OF THEIR RELATIVES, NOT FOR RAP8NG MCGRIFF, SANDERS, DAVIDSON, MILLER FOR REPRODUCTION, FOR LAYING HANDS ON THE CHILDREN WITH MY REPRODUCTION AND ME&STEALING MY MONEY!!

THE CRIME IS HIGH, DEAD BABIES ACROSS THE U.S. TERRORISTS SURROUNDED THE WORLD, IN WHAT WAY DID THE SATANIC DANCE OF THE CULT ANNOUNCEMENTS "PROTECTED AND SAVED LIVES" REDUCED CRIME, ELIMINATED TERRORISTS, REDUCED THE SATURATION OF DRUGS, A SIMPLE END TO THE BABY RING OPERATION PROVED TO BE A GREAT TASK,(MIND) OR THE FUX ARE CRIMINAL, STOP WASTING MY GOTT DAMM TIME!!

THE WHERE ABOUTS OF THE CHILDREN ARE UNKNOWN, DARKY MCGRIFF MARRIED ME, IN ORDER TO GET CUSTODY OF MY SIRNIKS WITH HIS DNA,AND DIFFERENT MCGRIFF DNA, THE BABIES WERE CREATED,VIA RAPE OF MY REPRODUCTION!! NO DEATHS, NO ARRESTS!!OF THE RAPISTS!! 52 YEARS!! WHY WOULD I NEED MS. SANDRA TAYLOR, ANY MCGRIFF TO GET MY CHILDREN FROM CPS, DCF, ACS CUSTODY!!?? MY LAWSUITS WERE FILED AND AWARDED!!

WHY THE SATANIC CULT TERRORIST BABY RING OPERATORS INSIST OF THEIR ACCEPTANCE SPEECHES ABOUT MCGRIFF, ETC... WANTING THEM AND THEIR BABIES, BRAGGS OF MURDERING MY BABIES, WHICH BEGAN IN 1969!! I WAS COMPENSATED BY THE USGOV FOR BEING 4APED FOR MY REPRODUCTION, HARMED ON LEFRAK CITY PROPERTY FOR OVER A DECADE, HARMED ON VERIZON PROPERTY AND BY THEIR EMPLOYEES, I NEVER HAD MCGRIFFS, ETC...THE TERRORISTS KEPT MY BABIES!!

MY SPECIAL AND IMPORTANTS AEE MY SIRNIKS, THE SAME TERRORISTS RAPED MY SIRNIKS FOR REPRODUCTION, I KNOW THE CURRENT AND FORMER PRESIDENTS HAS AN ATTITUDE, ACCORDING TO THEM, I DID SOMETHING WRONG, THEY DON'T KNOW, THEY WILL GET TO THE BOTTOM OF IT, THE CURRENT AND FORMER PRESIDENTS ARE CHILD PREDATORS, ETC...THE SAME BABY RING BEEN OPERATING BEFORE 1969, BEFORE I EXITED MY MOTHER'S WOMB, MY MOM WAS POUNCED ON, MY MOM DON'T KNOW MCGRIFF, SANDERS, DAVIDSON, MILLER, MASON, NOR MASON, I WAS RAPED FOR MY REPRODUCTION BEGINNING IN 1969!!

THE TERRORISTS BABY RING OPERATORS INSIST, THE BABY RING

**WHY THE DARK BISH, A BROKE NOTHING CHILD MOLESTER, RAPISTS, HAS A DISPOSITION, SHE IS MY BOSS, THE BISH IS L9OKED FOR BY ME, SHE IS UP FOR A CUT UP A TORSO TORCHED AND BURNED, THE DIRTY FUNKING BISH, JUMPED IN MY LANE, SHE IS A SICK RAPISTS CHILD MOLESTING BISH, WHY WAS SHE NEAR ME!!? IS SHE IMPLYING I AM HIV, AND I GAVE IT TO HER SON AND HE GAVE IT TO HER DIRTY DAUGHTER, ISN'T SHE ONE OF THE FEMALES PRETENDIBG TO ME TO MY MOTHER, SHE WORSHIP SATAN AND IS KNOWN AS A SATANIC MOTHER TO KEVIN KEMP OF LEFRAK CITY, ETC....DID THE USGOV COMPENSATE THE RAPISTS CHILD MOLESTING BISH!!? WHITZ TINA THORNTON OF VERIZON IS TASIA THORNTON MOTHER, WHAT THE FUNK THST HAS TO DO WITH ME, THE FAMILY IS OPERATING THE BABY RING IN ALBANY NY WITH ALL THE RAPISTS OF REPRODUCTION, BABY RING OPERATORS, INCLUDING VERIZON, I WAS KITED AND KIDNAPPED BY FBI SUPERVISOR RODNEY E CRAWFORD, KEVIN KELLERMAN OF VERIZON, ON MORE THAN ONE OCCASION, AFTER MY LAWSUITS WERE FILED AND AWARDED,

I WAS NEVER ACQUAINTED WITH THE CHILD MOLESTERS ON A PERSONAL LEVEL, WHY WERE THEY KITING AND KIDNAPPING ME, I DIDN'T ATTEND PUBLIC, ETC...SCHOOL IN ALBANY NY, AMBERGER OF VERIZON SHE SHOULD BE DEAD, THE NASTY CHILD MOLESTER ALONG WITH ALBERT BESSETTE WERE VERY NASTY TOWARDS ME, ALBERT CLAIM TO BE CIA, HE HAD ME UNDER AN INVESTIGATION, WITH THE DIRTY FUNKING SCOUNDRELS AT THE ENGINEERING DEPARTMENT AT VERIZON,

THE CHILD MOLESTING BISHES WERE POSTING ON ME, ARE FUNKING DELUSIONAL AND SICK, I NEVER HAD HYPNOSIS, I HAD KNOW IDEA WHAT X WAS, I REFUSED TO LEAVE WITH THE FACES OF MCGRIFF, I DIDN'T WANT ANYONE HARMED, COME TO LEARN, THOSE NASTY CHILD MOLESTING DIRTY SOON TO BE DEAD FUX, WRRE BREAKING AND ENTERING MY RESIDENT AND KITING AND KIDNAPPING ME, THE SIGHT OF BEING POSTED ON, LORD KNOWS I HELD MY COMPOSURE2008!! MY CASE WAS HANDLED BY REAL INTELLIGENCE, WHO SUMMONED SAVITRA MILLER DAUGHTERS, CREATED HOW!!? SURELY IT WASN'T I!!"

***WERE ARE MY SIRNIKS AND MY MONEY &YOUNGER SIRNIKS FACES AND MY DAUGHTERS WITH FACE*** CHILD MOLESTING FREAKS!!'

I WANTED TO APPROACH THE BISH AT THE EASTFIELD MALL IN SPRINGFIELD MA, IF THE BISH SAY THE WRONG WORD, I WOULD LAY HANDS ON HER, AND IT WOULD BL9CK X TJE UNKNOWN, NOW NASTY STUPID LYING FUX ARE ALL OF YOU READY FOR COURT!!?

DID DARKY MCGRIFF CHILD MOLESTING MOTHER GET A TRYST FROM DARKY MCGRIFF, OR DID NASTY FREAK RAPE HIM FOR REPRODUCTION, I HAVE KNOW IDEA WHY THE PAEDOPHILE STATED I GAVE HER SON MCGRIFF A DISEASE, WHY DIDN'T HE COMMUNICATE THE CONVERSATION, WAS IT, DARKY MCGRIFF WOULD HAVE TO BE CHARGED WITH RAPE, ADMIT HIS MOTHER RAPE BABIES, BOTH KITED AND KIDNAPPED WORLD LEADERS, I AM NOT THE FEMALE GUILTY OF INFECTING HER DARKY MCGRIFF SON WITH A DISEASES, INCLUDING HIV!!

IF IT WEREN'T FOR MY MOTHER, I WOULD HAVE DIED OF STARVATION, BEFORE I WAS OLD ENOUGHN TO FULLY TAKE CARE OF MY SELF(MY LAWSUIT MONEY WAS ALWAYS STOLEN)HOW LONG WAS DARKY SATANIC MOTHER AND CHERYL MCDONALD, BOTH HOVERED OVER DARKY MCGRIFF, AT THE SAME TIME AND CREATED BABIES, IT WASN'T RAPE, IT WAS AN ORGY CONSENTUAL, OH DARKY FEMALE IS CHERYL MCDONALD'S MOTHER,

IS SHE THE SAME DARKY FEMALE, , STAGING SCENES ON A SHIP, WITH WHITZ DRESSED AS RUSSIAN, UKRAINE, MOSCOW MILITARY, I REPORTED KITE AND KIDNAP!!'WHO WAS THE YOUNG DARKY FACE MCGRIFF, I SEEN AT MY RESIDENT, AFTER MY MOM WAS KIDNAPPED, I WAS STILL USING MY GUEST BEDROOM!?

JUDGES, INCLUDING BLOCH, IS THIS A JUSTIFICATION, WHY THEY USED MY MOTHER'S I.D., ETC..SELF APPOIBTED RIGHT TO KY MOTHER'S FINANCIAL WEALTH, AND SON SHOULD BE COMPENSATED, ALL ARE CRIMINALLY INSANE!! THE NASTY LYING FUX HELPED ME WITH NOTHING, ASK THE BISH IF SHE PURCHASED A MUCH NEEDED SHIRT FOR ME, PAID A BILL, ETC..

THE FREAKS MURDERED MY BABIES, ORDERED MY BABIES DEATH TO THE OTHERS OPERATING THE BABY RING, RAPING BABIES FOR A LIVING, I AM LIKE, WHY THE PROJECTS HE AND THE OTHERS HAIL FROM WASN'T BURNED DOWN, THE USGOV IS HOLDING ME, ALWAYS ASSISTED THE SATANIC CULT TERRORIST BABY RING OPERATORS!!

I HAVE AWARENESS, SO THE CHILD MOLESTING FUX ARE TIGHT, NO MORE SUPPRESSING MY MEMORY, OPERATING THE BABY RING FREELY, STANDING ON MY PROPERTY, BUILDING WITH MY MONEY, I WASN'T FIRED FROM VERIZON, I WAS RETIRED WITH 30 YEARS, IMAGINE RECEIVING SSD BASED ON A MENTAL ILLNESS WITH MY BEAUTIFUL, HARDWORKING LAURELS, NOT ONE SUSPENSION, NOT ONE VERBAL, OR WRITTEN WARNING, THE SAME PIECES OF CHIT CLARENCE JONES, THECFLEETWO9DS, DARKY RACHEL MITCHELL, GATHERS WITH THE OTHERS, AND ALL ACT AS THOUGH I AM TROUBLED, GEE! HOW MANY DECADES!!? WHAT DID THE FUX ACCOMPLISH!!?

WHY CLARENCE, JONES, KATRINA GREENE NULLS, DENNIS BRANTLEY, KITE AND KIDNAP ME, THE SCENE WAS THE MCGRIFFS DON'T LIKE ME, SO I BETTER GO ALONG, I DIDN'T GO ALONG, I WANT THEM ARRESTED, FOR HARMING MY SIRNIKS,

I NEEDED THY ENEMIES TO ENROLL MY SIRNIKS IN SCHOOL!!? THE FREAKS ARE STILL OPERATING THE BABY RING, WHY WAS KATRINA GREENE RETIRED, SHE RAPE MEN, WOMEN AND CHILDREN, SHE IS THE COHORT OF KAREN&TANYA HOWARD, ETC....

WHICH MCGRIFF LOST A 5 SERIES BMW, KATRINA FRIEND OR RELATIVE, OR LOVER, MAURICE DOUGLAS OF (DELAWARE) VERIZON(CONTRACT)I ALLOWED THE BMW TO SIT IN MY DRIVEWAY FOR INSURANCE PURPOSES!!

NO LONGER IS AMERICA ALLOWED TO DEPLOY ON PARANOIA, NEED TO USE EVIDENCE OF TRUTH AND FACTS, THINKING A WORLD INVASION, ISN'T REASON TO OCCUPY THE WATERS OF SOUTH KOREA, THE TERRORISTS MAKE UP STATEMENTS ALL THE TIME, FILL IT IN AND ACT AS THOUGH ONE PERSONALLY SOUGHT THEM AND HAD CONVERSATION, THE CHILD MOLESTING FUX WERE PUTTING ME UNDER!!"

FOR EXAMPLE CHERYL MCFONALD, GEORGIA HALL, KATRINA GREENE NULLS, KAREN&TANYA HOWARD, TADJA OWENS, ETC... I SPOKE OF MCGRIFF, ETC... ALL SWEAR, I MESSED WITH THEIR SONS, COUSINS, UNCLES, ETC...AND THATS WHY THEY HAVE MY BABIES, AND THEIR ENTITLED TO KEEP ALL OF SANDERS, DAVIDSON, MILLER, MCGRIFF BABIES, AND BUSH, ETC..ACT AS THOUGH THE BABY RING OPERATION ISN'T KNOWN, AS THOUGH I KNEW A FERGUSON, TASJA OWENS, ANDREA WALKER, ETC...HAD MY BABIES, DEATH BELLS WOULD OF BEEN RANG,

MURDERING MY SIRNIKS CHANGES NOTHING!! FACE REALITY MCGRIFF, SANDERS, MILLER, DAVIDSON, ETC ..THEIR TUBE TUBE BABIES AND THEIR TERRORIST BABY RING OPERATORS BEEN OPERATING THE BABY RING, INCLUDING USING MY REPRODUCTION VIA RAPE!! MY CHILDREN AND ME WERE SET UP, WHEN THE CHILD MOLESTING FUX REALIZED, IT WASN'T GOING TO WORK, MY CHILDREN WERE SLAUGHTERED, NOTHING NEW!!

MIKE CALLAHAN. I WAS FIRED FROM VERIZON!!? WHICH INVESTIGATORS WERE SEARCHING FOR ME, THE CHIRPRACTOR AND SIDE KICK, WITH THEIR THEATRICS BODY LANGUAGE, THE TERRORISTS STATE THE USE IS TO INTIMIDATE THE VICTIMS, ASK ME MANY QUESTIONS, WHY!? MY LAWSUITS WERE FILED AND AWARDED, A GOOD RUN, I WAS EMPLOYED AT VERIZON FOR 19 YEARS, I USED MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER, ARE THE INVESTIGATORS SEARCHING FOR THE PADOPHILES IN THE CULT, OPERATE THE BABY RING ALIVE, THEN THE CHILD MOLESTERS WERE ARRESTED AGAIN, NASTY FUX INCLUDING CHERYL MCDONALD ARE STATING IT IS I, OR THE CULT FEMALES ARE BEING THEIR USUAL CHILD MOLESTING SELF IMPORTANT, " SO SMART" WILL FIGURE AND WORK IT ALL OUT", "BROUGHT UP OLD CRIMES I DIDN'T COMMIT AND ATTEMPTED TO SET ME UP WAY AGAIN, AS THE SAME CHILD MOLESTERS FAILED WAY BACK WHEN,

IF MCGRIFF, ETC...STSTED ALL ARE WELCOME TO HAVE THEIR CHILDREN AND RECRUIT OTHERS, WHY THE FUNK DO THE DUMB FUNKING BISHES DROP IN THIS LANE!? I DON'T GIVE A FUNK, I AM NOT TRAFFICKING CHILDREN, NOT ONE IS AN INTEREST, I NEVER GOT TO KNOW MCGRIFF, TO MUCH SURROUNDS, MORE THAN I REMEMBER, "RUN" , RUN FOR YOUR LIFE", BREAK AND ENTER RAPE FOR REPRODUCTION, NO ARRESTS, HAPPY TO COLLECT MORE BABIES"! MEN, PLEASE MURK THE RAPISTS OF MY REPRODUCTION AND THOSE GUILTY OF MOLESTING MY SONS, DAUGHTERS AND ME!!

IT IS OKAY, WHY THE BABIES AND CHILDREN ARE NOT GOING FROM THE SURR9GATE STRAIGHT TO THE FEMALE!! WHY IS TBESE BISHES SHOWING ME THE SAME FACES FROM YESTER YEAR, SUCH AS THE LAD IN FRONT OF THE POST OFFICE, FACE SEEN AGAIN IN STPETERSBURG FLA, A NEW LAD!!"THE YELLA LITTLE GIRL AT "CHUCKY E CHEESE" IN THE BRONX, I HEARD SHE FOES NOT LIKE ME, I DO NOT KNOW HER, SHE SHOWED UP WITH WHOM I BELIEVED TO BE MS SANDRA TAYLOR&A DARKY FEMALE,

IF MY MEMORY SERVES ME CORRECTLY MICHELLE WATERMAN STATED THE TWO RESEMBLE, I NOTICED SIGNALING, ODDITIES, I DISCOVERED MY MOM KIDNAPPED AND MISSING, BEFORE 2001 JUNE, BUSH STATED NOTHING TO ME, WHEN I ASKED WHAT ABOUT MY MOM,

AFTER BUSH STATED , PEPI DID MAKE IT TO SAFETY, WHEN I ASKED, BUSH INIATED THE CONVERSATION ABOUT PEPI!" FOR TWO DECADES THE USGOV ALLOWED THE TERRORISTS OPERATING THE BABY RING USE MY MOTHER AND , BROTHER'S I.D. VEHICLE, 401K, SS RETIREMENT, PENSION FROM THE MANHATTAN LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY, ETC....SO TO THEMSELVES, BUSH, ETC..THE TERRORISTS WERE CLEVER AND GOT THROUGH WITH MY LOVED ONES MONEY!! THE BABY RING IS OPERATING, THE DARK UGLY SON,

I HEARD HIS NAME IS JOHN AND HE CAME THROUGH IN 2001 AND TORE CHIT UP, I WAS KITED AND KIDNAPPED, MEMORY SUPPRESSED, WHAT CHILDREN THAT NASTY UGLY FUX HAS WITH MY REPRODUCTION, HE RAPED ME FOR MY REPRODUCTION AND PLEASURE, HE IS A ROCK HURLER, A CON-MEN INFILITRATING AMERICA, IS IT ONE OF MY SIR NIKS, OTHERWISE, I NEED THE INSURANCE MONEY, HE SHOULD OF BEEN IN PRISON, AND REGISTERED AS A SEX-OFFENDER, THE RESEMBLES CURTIS JACKSON!! HE BROKE INTO MY MOTEL IN FLORIDA, MY APARTMENT IN ARLINGTON TEXAS, HE WAS CLEVER AGAIN!!

WHEN DID THE MOLESTER INJECT ME WITH HIV&WHEN DID THE PAEDOPHILE PRETENDING TO ME TO BE MY BROTHER TEST ME, WHY THE FUNK DOES HE COME NEAR ME!!? IS HE THE SAME THAT STATED I RECEIVED CHEMO AND RADIATION TREATMENT, THE REASONS WHY I WHY I HAVE HOLES IN MY BONES!!"

IS HE STILL PRETENDING TO BE MY BROTHER, DID HE MARRY LESLEY PORTER ANDCCASSANDRA CURTIS!! IN THE MID 80'S THE SAME BLAX MALE DIDN'T SEE ANY MCGRIFF, ETC...CHILDREN AT MY RESIDENT, WHY THE FUNK WAS PSYCHO SITTING IN MY BEDROOM PULLING OFF HIS BLACK BIG 11-11.5 COMBAT BOOT, WHEN I ENTERED MY MOTHER'S APARTMENT!! IS THE SAME PSYCHO ACQUAINTED WITH THE STUPID BLAX MALE ACTING AS THOUGH I AM A SPY, A TERRORIST, ETC...!?

WHAT DID THE PAEDOPHILE THINK ABOUT THE RAPISTS AT VERIZON ACTING AS THOUGH I PROVIDED CABLE AND PAIRS TO TERRORISTS AND I WORKED IN THE CENTRAL OFFICE !!?

HOW LONG DID HE KNOW MIKE LOWE, RITA ARLENE PORTER, FRANSCISCO DELEON, IN HIS OWN ESTIMATE, HOW LONG THE BABY RING BEEN OPERATING!!? DOES HE CONSIDER HIMSELF AN INVESTIGATOR!!?

DROP FUNKING DEAD!! I AM PRAYING HARDER EVERY DAY, THE SATANIC CULT TERRORIST BABY RING OPERATORS AND THEIR CHILDREN AND GRAND CHILDREN DIES!!"

EVERYTIME I THINK OF AMERICAN LEADERSHIP, I KNOW THE CURRENT AND FORMER PRESIDENTS ARE MENTAL, AS THEIR SATANIC CULT TERRORIST BABY RING OPERATORS, STATE I AND OTHERS ARE MENTAL,

REAL LAW ENFORCEMENT, SEE MY FILING STATUS!!?

0 notes

meloncholy-archive · 4 years

Text

maybe i do get better

there i was, reading haikyuu fanfiction—

(specifically anything with oikawa. hes a chaotic gay and doesnt know what to do with himself so felt.)

i was expecting enough fluff to get me idealizing my next relationship

(considering my tendency to project my own insecurities into people, the idealization unfortunately comes free with no cost)

or enough smut to get me rutting against a pillow.

(i wish i had an explanation for the pillow rutting but im just lazy and hate being messy with normal masturbation)

unfortunately, all i got was a few soul crushing realizations about my life where at the moment, The Eternal Mood is just: can the ground swallow me whole right now? can the inexorable tide wash over and take my body with it? is it possible for me to drown except not feel the pain of drowing because having water in your lungs is actually a bitch and choking hurts and why tf would anyone want to die like that?

(i want my last death moments to be a beautiful tradegy that you’d think shakespeare would write about. or like hemingway! no idea how that dude writes but hes always sounded fancy and suave in my head.)

(last side note: the funeral should be a Grand Thing because its my time to shine and i hope my sister doesnt steal my thunder, even in death. what a bitch.)

anyway. coming of age.

the realization is as follows:

i dont think i really loved [redacted] as much as i thought i did

i know i dont have to say redacted but its weird saying his name now. not that i still have any sort of attachment to him. even now, i just think he was important to my life but i dont hold any value for him anymore.

he was someone i once called home but ive later on realized my coming of age came moreso after our breakup when i learned to let go of all my stupid kiddie highschool fantasies and started really looking at my life and seeing its worth.

as anyone has probably guessed from an outside lense, we werent fit. like i used to think “opposites attract” but we werent just opposite, you know? it was like as if we were on 2 different planes of thought.... if those 2 planes were from different alternate universes. its like we knew each other but also, did we really.

we spent years together yet i couldnt even get him to fully trust me to just be okay with letting go and telling me whats wrong with him. but in turn, its not like i fully trusted him too. at the back of my head, even from the start, was an almost gnawing, aching feeling of—

“you’re not right for each other” “he’s gonna cheat on you” “you’re going to breakup eventually” “well, might as well enjoy it while it lasts”

i think thats why i had a lot of moments w him where we’d just look at each other and say (mostly in between the lines): should we even still be doing this? are we really just gonna keep holding on like this?

sure, we cared about each other. there was love, of course. and in some very vulnerable moments, i did genuinely think i was undeniably in love there and i think he did too.

but he was a projection of all my self-hate issues and an idealization i had for stability in life. like when the dust settles,

my subconscious would think: at least one (1) person out there loves me. at least i know someone will always listen to me. at least there is somebody out there who would be willing to do anything for me.

but now that im out of it, i realized i loved more the idea that somebody loved me than i actually loved the person. hell, i spent so much time asking him to not let go just yet and be beck and call just to appease him.

(its pathetic, i know. i talk a big game of independence but LISTEN, im really terrible at it........)

i dont know about him and where his true feelings lie for me but as i have realized for years and never told anyone, he was never someone that was “willing to do anything for me.” he did things for me out of obligation. i think that hurt for me a lot to think too deeply about.

we were really just.. two people that were just seeking comfort in each other and holding on so fuckin tight for that short while there. i deluded myself a lot into thinking hes always going to be there for me and hes the love of my life but you know? we’ve always been passerby’s to each other. we didnt emotionally connect as well as i told everyone. our talks werent as deep as i wished. he couldnt get out of his shell, even with me. hell, i never even fully felt like myself in our entire sex life. i told you. i was at beck and call. hes finished? thats fine. want to just use me and it doesnt matter if i climax? ok, whatever. too tired to top? ok, i’ll do it. skip out the foreplay? ok, thats cool. want to just have me get on my knees? fine, i’ll do it. i’ll do everything.

it was... a moment... in time. we were hanging by a thread. you know before the actual breakup, we actually almost broke up like 3 times? at the end of the year usually. i guess that was us thinking: do we really want to prolong this any longer and for another year at that?

but its weird, right? i knew we’d breakup eventually but it didnt mean it didnt hurt still to have someone leave. leaving always hurts and being cheated on will always be a terrible feeling. but you know whats funny? regarding the cheating thing? i think what came out more from that was my self-hate issues. being with him felt like someone choosing me despite all my imperfections. i wanted an unconditional love, basically. but him cheating on me felt like me still not amounting to anything because big surprise! he chose someone else anyway! he won the breakup! hes the victor! you were always a reacher! he was a settler! you never good enough for anyone!

its terrible. i have a lot of issues.

despite everything, this isnt a post to say “all this time, i didnt love him.” thats not true at all. as i said: hes still someone important and i did genuinely think for a while there that he, for all intents and purposes, was the love of my life. but as i also said: i dont think i loved him as much as i thought i did.

in fact, in all our 3 and a half years together, i actually think i hated myself more than i ever actually loved him (as grueling and depressing as it sounds).

the point of this post is currently at: ???. this really isnt even just me finally admit everything ive realized the past 2 years since 2018. jeez, this isnt even a post to say im fully okay with myself.

ive been good, i guess. and im glad to finally learn to do things purely for myself, be okay with being alone and out of that funk (a bit). im happy to have good friends, the life i have and the existence of menthol cigarettes.

but i dont know, im 21, you know? im starting to realize im so fuckin young and i dont have to have everything figured out all the time. i dont need to rush myself into being the best version of myself because everyday, i’ll always be a little bit better than i was and thats okay, too.

and guess what? ive started to stop thinking of the “what ifs.” the what if i stayed in a relationship w him, what if i took things more seriously than i did at the time, what if i actually listened more and stopped talking during those 3 and a half years.

ive started to take the “what ifs” for the future instead. and god, i have a lot of “what ifs” now for what lies ahead (and this time, im doing this for me).

0 notes

tinymixtapes · 7 years

Text

Feature: 2017: Favorite Labels

When I was a shithead high school kid playing in my first punk rock band, I’m pretty positive that my cohorts and I dedicated much more time to hanging out in a Denny’s booth sketching logos and fine-tuning our astoundingly under-researched shortlists of the record labels that would ideally release our first earthshaking longplayer than we ever dedicated to, ya know, “writing” and “practicing” songs. But strangely, I don’t think this sort of thing happened because we were “lazy.” I think it’s because, a lot of times, the brand name counts even more than the music does. And I guess we all kinda understood that, even back then. Sure, we may all walk around our lives most of the time pretending like our choices and justifications are all pure and internally driven… but — as the introductory statements to three solid years’ worth of these Favorite Labels lists all ably point out — that shit is a straight-up hallucination. What we all really need at the end of the day is to feel assured that we’re part of a bigger story. We want those choices backed up by some weird, impossibly infallible guarantee. On a grand scale, this whole project represents nothing less than the most utterly serious of metaphysical business: nothing and no one stands on their own. Individuals are forgotten. Lines have endpoints. Organisms wither and die. We see this. We know this. We hate this. Brands, on the other hand, endure. Those glorious abstractions known as “classifications,” “families,” “institutions,” and so on can’t be killed. In other words, we’re not just talking comfort here; we’re talking Immortality. But even on the level of our day-to-day exploitation and/or enjoyment of culture, it holds true. For example, even now, as I try to reconstitute the narrative, some of my favorite records of 2017 didn’t just “come out.” They “came out as editions on Sean McCann’s Recital program.” As a writer, I found it downright difficult to parse and explain the evolution of certain monikers without using Hospital Productions as a scaffolding or to discuss this-or-that artist without shouting-out Posh Isolation. And I’ve got to fess up to the fact that, as a fan, I attended several shows and bought several records based on their Don Giovanni tag alone. Is any of this compulsive brand-association particularly justified or fair? Objectively, no, I guess not. But that’s exactly the point: categorizing frail, transient little things into grand structures that transcend the worth of each of those little peons when tallied individually not only provides a nice distraction, but it also helps cocoon us — however temporarily and delusionally — in a cozy and structured-yet-flexible hammock rather than leaving us all sailing naked through the silent, freezing, soulless, limitless, and immeasurable depths of deep space at a million miles an hour. So, um, if it’s all the same to you, I think I’ll just go head and keep clinging like grim death to all the delusional institutions I can get my mammalian hands on. In fact, here’s 14 or so that you might find handy too. Take ’em or leave ’em. –Dan Smart --- Noumenal Loom [$EGA & THE RAINBOW STREETS · TOIRET STATUS · PASCALE PROJECT] Since 2013, Noumenal Loom, run by Garrett Crosby, a.k.a. Holly Waxwing, out of Birmingham, Alabama, has been pogoing around the globe to gather together all sounds exciting and excitable. So far, the label has pepped us way up with seminal releases by aggregative electronic wizards Foodman, Giant Claw, and Seth Graham, while concurrently winding down with gentle albums from the lovably chill likes of Tuluum Shimmering and Angel Dust Dealers. Their 2017 roster opened with an addictively danceable cassette from DJ Voilà, and whether the label has been exploring techno, funk, smooth jazz, or muzak, it’s been an idea of bodily movement that has unified all of this year’s tapes and albums. We’ve window-shopped with Haha Mart and loosened into a swaying groove with Jasper Lee and Earthly. Bouncy releases from Pascale Project and $3.33 scrubbed the dance floor clean, and, to round out the year, the label just dropped two back-to-back bath bombs by $ega & The Rainbow Streets, a new project from Kenji Yamamoto, and some mind-boggling impishness from Toiret Status. Amidst all kinds of paralyzing madness outside, spaces and sounds that invite such movement feel distinctly joyful and freeing. –Cookcook --- Hands in the Dark [BYRON WESTBROOK · BRIAN CASE · MATT JENCIK] Even French label Hands In the Dark’s name dallies with the corporeal, alluding to a sense beyond the visible, a prickle or a tickle when the lights are off. Label founder Morgan Cuinet has compiled a walloping roster of experimental artists whose work mines the occult affect of sub-bass, the pilomotor reflex to binaural wizardry, and the pineal proprioception to the encounter between ambie(/a)nce and the human ear. It’s hardly a surprise, then, that the artists represented — among them Matt Jencik, Brian Case, and Byron Westbrook — positively bodied the electronic music scene in 2017. Even from the pirouetting opening seconds of Westbrook’s “Dance and Free Fall,” the opening track off Body Consonance, tendrils of sound coagulate and consummate with the ear, consonate with the flesh, palpitate along with the temple’s pulse. Mastered by Helmut Erler and TMT favorite Rashad Becker at Berlin’s Dubplates & Mastering, these delicately fashioned transmissions massage and clench, stimulating the viscera and churning the gut. Hands in the Dark has quietly built a catalog of ambient music with gumption, a dance music for the synapses and for the goosebumps. The future is now: forget your antidepressants and anhedonia. With hands and feet and neck and back — in the dark or in the light — we’re getting sensual. –Benjamin Eckman Bieser --- Nyege Nyege Tapes [RIDDLORE · OTIM ALPHA · MAKAVELI] Luck’s acute attribute is having enough faith in letting go of the good and/or bad; a bird shits your in hair: half-think you won the lottery, but you keep thinking, a bird shit in my hair. Communication will forever be sharpened through adverse arts. Nyege Nyege Tapes bugged on 2017 with some excellent cultural deep-dive for listeners to gnash. What hit first was the jux-flow of “Ukuti” by Disco Vumbi. Immediately after, Riddlore’s Afromutations banged so hard, listeners lost direction of “Why?” and pursed immediate: “What timeline does Nyege Nyege Tapes abide by?” The third release defined another unique MC’s entry, Gulu City Anthems by Otim Alpha, baring a certain soul that comes more with the certainty of songwriting than production. Mysterians’s Joyride on Judgment Day was a gem that power-washed nodes on a level of intellect we won’t find until all the pieces of blasted-ambience have fit. But most importantly, Sounds of Sisso vibes on such a level of reappropriative, cultural instinct, one forgets to even find the magnitude of hype, purely grappling at the textures of rhythm. Nyege Nyege Tapes defines the stripped-down airfare to where prestige and lister-expansion take the next step. –C Monster --- Recital Program [ROGER ENO · DICK HIGGINS · MARY MAZZACANE] Whatever happened to the classics? Did we just get over them? Or rather, did they get over us? Is it still possible to remain just a little bit old-fashioned in a world that’s progressing at an exponential rate, when what happened even yesterday is archaic, forgotten, meaningless? For one, maybe study up on Sean McCann’s Recital Program, which spent yet another year shattering the glass walls between “high” and “low” art, proving again that everything is fascinating if we just look a little closer. Between exploring the lost lineage of the Mazzacane/Connors family, exposing the ever-tumbling wordplay of Dick Higgins, and issuing regal, flowing piano works from the likes of Michael Vincent Waller and Roger Eno, Recital kept its cool amidst a musical landscape that continues to self-implode. In reclaiming the opulent world of the classical for the underground of today, McCann’s label creates its own sort of beautiful order out of chaos, a theater in which the mundane and the ornate can freely converse and even trade places for a while if they so choose, unshackled from the class boundaries that so often keep the two camps railing against one another. Whatever happened to the classics? They’re living among us now. –Sam Goldner --- Music from Memory [BENE FONTELES · DUB OVEN · GAUSSIAN CURVE] “Music from Memory” is a misnomer and double entendre both. The records released by the Amsterdam label can’t be from memory in its most common meaning, simply because they have almost never been heard by “the masses” before. The music does, however, come from what could be called a place of memory. It has the ability to instill nostalgia for mysteries, to create attachments to unlived experiences. What started with the phenomenal Vito Ricci full-length in 2015 and was constituted with the Dip In The Pool reissue in 2016 has, this year, become a stalwart of archival transcendence. Although it’s often titled a “reissue label,” every 2017 release out of Music from Memory feels incredibly new. Psychedelic Brazilian music comps feel dime-a-dozen these days, but 2017’s Outro Tempo pillars over them all. The clunky disco of Dutch DJ Richenel feels a step ahead of contemporary house nostalgics. What the label provides is a sort of one-way mirror, looking at a past that was dreaming of its future. The attention to detail and arduous curation that goes into every record from Music from Memory highlights not where we went wrong, but what was done right. –E. Fosl --- The Worst [MINOGAME · X.NTE · ANCIENT ORIGIN] The Worst couldn’t be more misnamed. Since January, the Tennessean netlabel has birthed a baker’s dozen of the squelchiest/geekiest/sugar-sludgiest breakcore the bowels of SoundCloud have to offer. Spearheaded by visual-artist-cum-producer Minogame, the imprint functions as the post-internet era’s answer to the Smithsonian Folkways, cataloguing cyberpunk transmissions from the web’s uncharted territories: aside from surface-level nods to Warp’s cheeky humor and penchant for cluttered drum-breaks, much of the label’s output represents the hyper-individualism within a late-capitalist state that has driven us deep into our own curated aesthetics for solace. The aforementioned Minogame’s a tribe of one, signified by their Lascaux-like scribblings and math-rock source material. The prolific Ancient Origin is also a culture unto itself, one informed as much by Animal Crossing’s pastoral tradition as it is by mid-aughts crunk mixtapes. Visit The Worst’s Bandcamp, click a record cover, and assimilate: this is an expansive charting a miniature world. –Jude Noel --- Profound Lore [BELL WITCH · SANNHET · FULL OF HELL] I’ll be real: last year, I hadn’t heard of Profound Lore Records. Sure, I knew a ton of their past releases, like those of Krallice, Altar of Plagues, and Nadja, but I wasn’t fully conscious of the brilliant and gnarled web that tied them all together. The fateful moment that changed all that was the December release of Ash Borer’s superb The Irrepassable Gate, which was one of the most truly badass black metal records I’d heard in years. I became obsessed, and I started paying attention to Profound Lore (run by the great Chris Bruni). Enter 2017. I came into this year ready to chomp on anything Profound Lore released, and what a fucking year they’ve had. Pallbearer’s Heartless was a thrilling, prog-tinged doom journey that was as compelling as anything the band has done. Full Of Hell’s Trumpeting Ecstasy was an impeccably produced and excellently paced grindcore album, one of the year’s best in the genre. And then there was Loss’ magical doom odyssey Horizonless, whose grizzly howls brought an appropriate sense of melancholic yearning for listeners in 2017. And let’s not forget Sannhet’s aggressive and relentless So Numb, a refreshingly powerful exercise in instrumental metal. But, in my opinion, Profound Lore’s crowning achievement for the year was Bell Witch’s Mirror Reaper, a breathtaking, bass-laden drive through the great beyond via glacial doom metal. The label capped the year off with this month’s epically unsettling 7xLP Rainbow Mirror by Prurient, a release that delivered a whole new set of mysteries and moods for us to relish as we slide gracefully into 2018. I raise my glass to you now, Profound Lore, as I have many times in my life, whether knowingly or unknowingly. You have brought a significant amount of beautiful music into the world this year. Thank you. –Adam Rothbarth --- End of the Alphabet [AKE · OMIT · MARHAUS AND MEEK] I have often wondered the existential meaning behind Noel Meek’s End of the Alphabet label. I can conjure many shortsighted missives about the location of New Zealand, the idea of the letters X, Y, and Z being largely ignored and underused, or perhaps the notion that those same letters are quite weird and therefore loosely lumped together. So I’ll stick to a combination of all three, which is why EotA is such an ear-opening experience. Whether it’s via Meek’s own releases and collaborations, or those spotlighting both his New Zealand and its surrounding — and equally ignored — regional sounds. Considering how stuck Western culture seems to be, I’d rather delve into the XYZs of our globe than the ABCs. –Jspicer --- MOTOR Collective [KLEIN & LACK · SABERTOOTH · R. GAMBLE] Tucked away in the fogs of the Pacific Northwest, this year the gang at MOTOR Collective did not “break through” so much as further refine their version of dance music — moody, spacious, and deep, yet grounded enough that you can actually move to it. MOTOR releases (as well as their excellent parties and podcasts) feel less like music for the club as we know it and more like the jump-off point for some head-trip gathering in the forest; the sense of a group yearning for this vision carries across records as varied as R Gamble’s Realistic Spaces and Heidi Sabertooth’s The Hear Of Now (both highlights for the year). That you can still hear the tape hiss on many digital versions of MOTOR tracks (as opposed to the hyperreal, LOL-perfect rendering of so much modern electronic music) speaks to what the label is going for. Like mighty ponderosa left in the rain, it’s imperfect and gently warped, still sturdy, and full of personality. –Dylan Pasture --- PERMALNK [DETENTE · LEO HOFFSAES & LOTO RETINA · BENOIT B] The Parisian label PERMALNK has been offering what it calls an “empathetic image of the world” since 2014, but it wasn’t until this year, with three strong releases, that it brought that image into clearer focus. The empathy of DETENTE’s Basic Dwell is reserved for the world’s smoldering and static-charged bits, where its energy is locked up, and from whence it manifests in stuttering impact and action-movie fidelity, accompanied by the grungy tremolo of guitar. Léo Hoffsaes and Loto Retina collaborated on Early Contact, the intimate story of a woman’s day out with her son and husband as her second child squirms in her belly, with uterine gurgling joining airy string melodies in a duet of nervous anticipation that spreads, as if contagiously, from narrator to listener. Far from both the incidental onslaught of Basic Dwell and the human intimacy of Early Contact, Benoit B’s Ethereal Drops addressed itself to the world as if to a fantastic, New Age-adjacent vision of nature. Its tracks, like the standouts “Sparkling Stream” and “Diamonds Rain,” combined a high, animalistic chirp with pads colored in shades of balearic and trance, constructing an image that, like artist Tavi Lee’s album cover, carries about it a worldly air, even in its bold color palette and surreal bending of the edges of its “natural” forms about one another. In 2017, PERMALNK has accomplished something rare in releasing three albums with little in common aside from an adherence to the label’s noble mission statement and, more importantly, an uncanny coherence as individual works of art. –Will Neibergall --- Posh Isolation [CROATIAN ARMOR · DAMIEN DUBROVNIK · KYO] In some secret file on Loke Rahbek’s hard drive, one can find my full frontal nudes along with a genetalia garden of many other bodies, desecrated and devalued, for they all were exchanged, vulnerability for vulnerability, with a cassette tape of Croatian Amor’s 2014 album The Wild Palms. In the commodification of the world, all things are abstractly identified with an exchange value, where even vulnerability has a value, for the body is as expendable as every other image. Yet, here we give one’s inability to give as a gift — one’s vulnerability. The self-interest of commodity economy is abdicated in preference of a gift exchange. Here, Rahbek creates an artificial space to find other people. Posh Isolation’s forays beyond noise and industrial to lyrical ambient and minimal techno belie industrial music’s foundation in the incommunicable dissonance of the world of industrial capitalism, where seeking to be heard above the din is a project worthy of art. By fetishizing the empty object in the artificial space of performance, this bubblegum industrial forges impossible connections that, though artificial, become pleasurable and therefore real. Through pain directed inward, as if pierced by a great many arrows, we confirm that one’s self is irreducible to the abstract identification of the commodity, as Saint Sebastian his beauty. The ultimate need to make contact snaps one out of artificiality. In 2017, the cold has become a little bit warmer and a sort of sincerity is resuscitated. –Evan Coral --- Don Giovanni [SCREAMING FEMALES · AGUA VIVA · LEE BAINS III & THE GLORY FIRES] What’s opera, doc? Opera is text by tune splitting story, Italian for “work.” Opera is Don Giovanni, some Austrian seraph’s diminishing sevenths flicking humans into shouting until the sound shakes our hearts. Hearts and mouths shout, so listen: Joe Steinhardt and Zach Gajewski played in a bad band at Boston College, made their own 7-inch, and voila: opera via Don Giovanni. It’s music label as New Brunswick new alternative, nixing commercial interruption so artist and audience are fleet free as a Mozart minuet to trade roles and help each other. “Anyone can do anything and not just that, everyone can do everything. No one’s fucking special,” Steinhardt reminds us. In an ashen historical moment, those words are totem for remembering the good work of “nobody lives unless everybody lives.” Don Giovanni is Aye Nako’s rim shot disrupt-punk and the geography-atomizing Lee Bains III & The Glory Fires. It’s Irreversible Entanglements, unmetered jazz outfit as union collective and A Piece of Water, the Buenos Aires tidal pool dream of Agua Viva, a body’s buoyancy over oppression. It’s La Neve’s American Sounds, a non-binary bodying the electric song as new national anthem sans strict script and the breaking “Glass House,” Screaming Female’s yowl of a collective body’s mission to re-member shards of 2017’s ill-reality into something better for every body. The music label model is the original resisting force, the libretto punk show, a two-fold work of labor output and piece created. Don Giovanni refuses repenting like the title character and screams high C’s into hell, a Looney Tunes promise that everything is movable except good work. Don Giovanni is the good work, opera for us by us. No one’s fucking special. Everyone’s fucking special. –Frank Falisi --- Piratón [MINICOMPONENTE · UPGRAYEDD JESSICA · AMAZONDOTCOM] OK, you caught me; Piratón Records isn’t as prolific as some of these other labels. As far as I can tell, it currently only exists as a Bandcamp page, and since its founding in 2015 by Mexico City musician and music journalist Carlos Huerta (a.k.a. Josué Josué), there are only four releases, all available for free streaming with a “name your price” option for download. One of them, Ruido’s 2015 FUN LP, is a totally bonkers instrumental hip-hop/chip-tune/synth punk thing. Two of them are compilations in a series called No hay más fruta que las nuestra, which means, “There is no fruit other than ours,” a play on a quote by Mexican social realist painter David Siqueiros: “No hay mas ruta que la nuestra” (“There is no other route but ours”). This year’s No hay más fruta que la nuestra 2 is why I’m writing this blurb. Like its 2016 predecessor, it features all kinds of music by female artists from Latin America and Spain. TMT favorite (Upgrayedd) Smurphy is on it, along with 11 other incredible ladies whose work spans pop, punk, rap, techno, and folk. It’s basically all I’ve listened to this year (besides, like, DAMN. and A Crow Looked At Me, so you know it’s good but ultimately responsible for way fewer tears). Snarkiness aside, I hope that somebody finds this at least half as empowering as I did this year. Life fairs a little better when your music’s this good. –Jazz Scott --- Hospital Productions [LUSSURIA · RAINFOREST SPIRITUAL ENSLAVEMENT · NINOS DU BRASIL] 2017 was the 20th year in the business for Dominic Fernow’s Hospital Productions. The label celebrated with tastefully grim releases that fit nicely under the three categories of Fernow’s own projects, Vatican Shadow, Prurient, and Rainforest Spiritual Enslavement. Like Demdike Stare’s DDS and Oneohtrix Point Never’s Software imprints, Hospital Productions never strays far from Fernow’s infernal circle of influence. The label eschews the convenience of modern platforms, preferring physical record stores and distributors like Boomkat and Bleep to platforms like Bandcamp and SoundCloud. Aesthetically, the labels seems to occupy a razor-thin void that exists between the chic, palatable throb of ambient techno — the sort of jilted, swooning sound that intellectual architecture students in horn-rimmed glasses and ket-heads in crop tops can bond over — and the always unpalatable, unpredictable underground noise scene. The latter is the spawning pool of Hospital Productions, a realm of cut-and-paste cassette art and “noise tables,” which basically kept the National Audio Company in business until avant-garde electronica and Urban Outfitters found tapes to be a fashionable medium again. It’s a dangerous game Fernow plays: with every high-bias, 180g limited-edition release at the luxury price point, he runs the risk of playing to the “market,” whether ironically or for personal gain. Industry politics aside, the music is of scrupulous quality and gluttonous proportions. Hospital Productions is committed to releases of staggering, atmospheric scale: the monolithic physical LPs and cassette boxes are like dense artifacts, adding to the imprint’s quasi-archaeological mystique. Rainforest Spiritual Enslavement put out a few large cuts, coming over two hours on a reissue of Green Graves. The project also put out an eight-cassette compilation titled Water Witches, one of many such bricks of tape that the label would drop. Another eight-hour box set of 8xCS was released for Dust Belt’s brooding, dark ambient on Ecocannibalism, and then of course there was the 6xLP release of Prurient’s massive Rainbow Mirror, which was co-released with Profound Lore. The club side of Hospital Productions is equally grim: Ninos du Brasil released their second full-length, Vida Eterna, a bludgeoning set of trance-inducing Latin rhythms, as well as another 12-inch. Natural Assembly put out The Fantasy of Love, a mix of post punk and deep house. Shifted drew a converging plane between metal grooves (the rhythmic kind) that sound like they’ve been rubbed out of literal metal grooves and outsider techno beats on Appropriation Stories. As much as I hate the “outsider” term, there’s still not much of a vocabulary for the sort of undanceable, fringes-of-the-club-basement beats that Hospital represents so well. –Ross Devlin http://j.mp/2iT0sDJ

1 note · View note

daylightarchives · 7 years

Text

MY FAVORITE MUSICAL DISCOVERIES OF 2017

Only reviewing the contemporary stuff can be boring - besides, there’s a virtually infinite amount of music just waiting to be discovered of every shape or size you could imagine out there going back decades and decades. So, here are some albums I’ve had the pleasure of discovering and falling in love with in this past year or so. No particular order.

GROUPER//DRAGGING A DEAD DEER UP A HILL (2008)

Up until the point where I started listening to Grouper, I had a bit of a hard time taking the idea of guitar-based ambient music seriously. Guitars are anything but ambient; they’re naturally percussive, their notes don’t ring out much longer than a second or two at the most, and unlike synths, which can fade in and trail off infinitely, guitars produce sound within a far narrower spectrum of both length and frequency. Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised by how wrong Dragging a Dead Deer proved that idea to be. Grouper mastermind Liz Harris takes a completely different approach to recording guitar, shrouding the instrument (and her voice) in countless, sometimes impenetrable sounding layers of field recording and noise. What makes the album work, for me, is how magical it feels to cut through all of that and find songs as beautiful as Invisible or my favorite, closer We’ve All Time To Sleep. Furthermore, Harris really gets the best of both worlds on Dragging a Dead Deer, building all of the seductiveness and intimacy of a folksy guitar record as well as the total mental windex effect the best ambient music can have.

VARIOUS ARTISTS//POMEGRANATES: PERSIAN POP, FUNK, FOLK AND PSYCH OF THE 60S AND 70S (2009) If even one person decides to listen to Pomegranates because of this here piece, writing it will have been worth it. Cataloguing the surprisingly vibrant music scene of the former nation of Persia (now Iran) in the ‘60s and ‘70s, Pomegranates is maybe the perfect compilation in that it’s full of total jams that cast a whole new light on a place whose music you might never check out otherwise. What makes the album so interesting is that it’s like a musical petri dish where you can here Eastern and Western musical ideas meeting and mutating and forming totally unique styles that are as cerebral and fascinating as they are fun and danceable. The real shame is that this scene died so shortly after the period from which this music was culled, due to changes in leadership and some seriously regressive social policies. Seriously though, I cannot stress this enough: enrich yourself, check Pomegranates out.

FOUR TET//ROUNDS (2003) Rounds feels like the sophisticated older sibling to one of my favorite albums, Since I Left You by the Avalanches. Built with an Avalanche-ian approach, Rounds is composed entirely of samples, looping endlessly in and out of sync with each other in fascinating and compelling ways. Four Tet’s hip hop worship comes out of the woodwork occasionally in the form of hard-hitting drums, but I think the album is a lot more interesting the more formless it gets. My favorite track, And They Look Broken Hearted, shifts tectonically from sensual vibraphone noodling towards melancholy harp figures and nervous jazz drumming that anxiously builds and fizzles out in this totally random and stuttering way. I’d say the track never once repeats a measure, except part of the fun is that the track is barely made up of measures to begin with. The approach is way more based around loops, starting and ending based more off of emotional cues than accordance towards a rhythmic pattern or grid. It’s endlessly detailed, sexy, funny, and super chill. Great study music, great music period.

SIC ALPS//SIC ALPS (2012) Sic Alps plays like garage rock’s attempt at something like the “Great American Novel,” full of poised sophistication, folksy ramblings, sincere declarations of love and laziness, and a lopsided sort of virtuoso approach that sees the band pulling in string sections and grand pianos as well as playing out their take on sun-bleached folk and, of course, psychedelic riffage. Taken all together, the record seems like an attempt to encompass the entire history of California guitar music at once; I think it’s a blast. Fans of guitar music will be able to find almost anything they care to look for in this thing: when I listen, I hear shades of Neil Young (Lazee Son), Credence (Moviehead), Wilco maybe (God Bless Her, I Miss Her), and even Radiohead on the excellent opener Glyphs and the album’s languid anticlimax, Rock Races. It’s basically a garage record, just with a ton of gravitas, which the record earns, and which is such a welcome change of pace within maybe the only genre that’s still more prolific (mostly to it’s detriment) than hip hop.

CAETANO VELOSO//TRANSA (1972) Probably one of the best records within that notoriously short-lived world of Tropicalia, an extremely fun but inherently self-destructing kind of protest music in Brazil c. the ’70s that responded to the government’s isolationism with gleeful appropriation of Western music into already awesome Brazilian styles. Transa, however, is anything but gleeful. Written in exile, the album is a dark rumination on loneliness and politics that expertly works in standards like Mora Na Filosofia (a highlight) as well as hyper-Western balladry on tracks like You Don’t Know Me and closer Nostalgia. A snapshot of a fascinating period in history as interpreted by a great mind, Transa can almost establish its significance on context alone; the musicality and crazy cultural diffusion going on all over this record are what elevates it to a classic for me.

CORNELIUS//FANTASMA (1997) Yet another sort of companion piece to Since I Left You, Fantasma proves that plunderphonics isn’t a dead end by joyously exploring its every nook and cranny and turning out some of the best music that little genre has to offer. Building songs around ideas that are like, Weird Al or They Might Be Giants level oddball, Cornelius makes music out of the sound of his own walking into the studio, text to speech generators, and occasionally out of ideas that date themselves a little (midi renditions of classical music, lol.) All of the comedic fanfare serves to make the moments of true musical beauty hit that much harder, like on early standout New Music Machine or the Apples In Stereo-featuring Chapter 8 - Seashore and Horizon. A highlight of the Japanese micro genre of Shibuya-Kei, Fantasma is an album that holds a remarkable amount of conceptual heft for how light it sounds, and that puts a smile on my face like almost no other record I know of.

DJ KRUSH//MILIGHT (1996) In 2017, hip hop albums that truly feel like they’re even trying to sound definitive are few and far in between. The kids just aren’t interested in that kinda shit, and that attitude seems to be traveling upward as mainstays in rap continue to peddle out middling and unexceptional releases (OK, maybe I’m still salty about DAMN.) I think that’s all part of why I find myself so attracted to a lot of relatively older stuff, where hip hop is concerned. It isn’t so much a sonic preference as a political preference; I guess I’m just more of a fan of albums that seem to be trying to make big, serious statements. A running short list of such records would probably include oh, say, Aquemini, GKMC, Exmilitary, and DEFINITELY Milight. If that sort of definitive intent doesn’t reach you through the featured rap verses, mostly in Japanese, than let it hit you in the form of Krush’s perfectly sculpted instrumentals, which engulf and cradle spoken word messages from each featured rapper about their hopes for the future just as readily as they hold down incredible verses from a veritable who’s who of underground rappers and, curiously, Mos Def. The record is a masterclass in sampling and old school production as well as an incredible atmospheric and moody record that’s basically total ear candy with the perfect amount of substance and depth to keep it truly compelling.

ALVA NOTO + RYUICHI SAKAMOTO/VRIOON (2002) German electronic minimalist Alva Noto and Japanese virtuoso composer Ryuichi Sakamoto have a fascinating chemistry that, perhaps due to its subtlety, flies mostly under the radar; except, when it doesn’t, like when the two get commissioned to score The Revenant off the strength of incredible albums like Vrioon. Vrioon is basically a conceptual exercise, pairing Sakamoto’s piano improvisations with Noto’s infinitesimal manipulations and glitchy not-quite-beats. The two ingredients here compliment each other in unimaginably rewarding ways that continue to reveal themselves upon further listening - the ringing glitches of Uoon I anchor formless piano parts that subtly shift in increasingly disorienting ways, making for a remarkably serene yet engaging listening experience that I just can’t get enough of. Speaking from experience, this is the kind of music that would make any sunrise or sunset magical, and I can’t recommend it enough.

CAN//EGE BAMYASI (1972) I’d listened to Tago Mago once or twice and was generally familiar with Can’s lofty reputation, but it didn’t start making sense to me until I listened to Ege Bamyasi. For all of the praise the band gets for being innovative and experimental, what’s so great about Bamyasi is the clear pop sensibility: most of these songs are short and sweet, and they press forward with a relentless momentum that brings the record a lot of immediacy and energy. Even when the band slows the tempo way down like on Sing Swan Song (which Kanye sampled for Drunk and Hot Girls, btw) or switches up the instrumentation on Spoon, everything sounds pretty unified and tight, and every song is really, really catchy.

FRANÇOISE HARDY//LA QUESTION (1971)

One woman institution of French pop Françoise Hardy explores the styles of Bossa Nova on her eleventh (!) album, a super low key acoustic affair that rarely has more than a thing or two going on at once. Built around cycling acoustic guitar figures occasionally supplemented by strings and bass, the album gives Hardy a lot of room to establish her vocal presence, which she does super effectively. The minimalism of the record makes it sound timeless, and the arrangements are cinematic and lush and sexy but also super intimate and tiny, all at once. Needless to say, La Question a pretty striking record.

BUILT TO SPILL//KEEP IT LIKE A SECRET (1999) I’m not gonna be the guy that tries to figure out what it means, but no one can deny that “indie” doesn’t mean the same thing now as it did in ’99 when Keep It Like A Secret dropped. In 2017, it’s acceptable to put the modifier R&B after indie, artists like Father John Misty are making plays for the sex symbol status held in years past by mainstays of white-bread rock and roll, and most indie fans are as readily courted by hip hop or electronic music as they are “indie” (I stress, none of this is a bad thing.) Indie in ’99 was a way more bookish, cloistered, specific sort of scene, and Keep It Like A Secret really exemplifies that vibe to me. A basically pretty sexless record built around hyper-literate lyrics about the meaning of life and personal shortcomings, Keep It is so endearingly low-key that falling for the record mostly just feels like making a friend with whom you can speak in an intimate and esoteric way. The guitars are angular and math-y in some places, and awesome and anthemic in others, like on ripping opener The Plan and personal favorite Temporarily Blind. Among other things, Keep It Like A Secret sounds like the perfect soundtrack to the charming and twee indie (ha) movie most people see their life as nowadays; well, I don’t know, maybe that’s just me. 

YO LA TENGO//I CAN HEAR THE HEART BEATING AS ONE (1997) Keep It Like A Secret came out two years after this behemoth of a record - and yet somehow, I still feel like I Can Feel The Heart Beating As One as maybe the first major stepping stone between the indie of the ‘90s and the indie of today. The major innovation? This is lover’s music, played by actual married couple Georgia Hubley and Ira Kaplan. Whether they’re summarizing the entire history of shoegaze into a single song or covering the Beach Boys, Yo La Tengo always keep the vibe sleepy, chilled out, and super seductive, and god damn, it just works. Those who know me might find this hard to believe, I always find that I have the least to say about the things I love the most. I Can Feel The Heart Beating As One is one of those things. So much of what makes this album special is how intimate and warm it feels, qualities I could never communicate as well as the music itself does. Please, listen to it. ASAP.

#music reviews #yo la tengo #built to spill #grouper #cornelius #music #four tet #idk

1 note · View note

supertodd5000 · 8 years

Text

When Sour Turns To Sweet

The Lemon Twigs Do Hollywood

With a wee bit of help from some very lucky friends, The Lemon Twigs Do Hollywood. It’s hard to know where to begin with this record. So I’ll begin at the end. I recommend all twelve inches of this record.

“Do Hollywood” was released in 2016 which means it was released about 46 years after the last record I reviewed (Grand Funk “Live Album”). According to tumblr, it took nearly two years for me to get around to reviewing another record in any substantive way. My Instagram (@supertodd5000) grunts and groans hardly count. Why so long since my last review? The best answer is I’m lazy. The second best answer is that I’ve been ghostwriting my own unauthorized autobiography. But that information stands in the way of the Lemon Twigs Do Hollywood record review. So let’s get on with it.

Intimidating. Menacing. Emasculating. These are three of the feelings washing over me as I listen to the last few bits of “A Great Snake.” Quite possibly the best new song I’ve heard in 2 years. Why these strange feelings? Because I’m told the D’Addario brothers (Michael and Brian) are 17 and 19 years old, respectively. Or is it the other way around? I’m not sure which is which and I suspect they’ve forgotten as well. The point is they’ve accomplished more in six months than I have in twenty five years. Put another way, I could be their great great great grandfather.

The liner notes claim they can play every instrument known in the Western Hemisphere and I believe it. At the insistence of local celebrity writer and social media poet Alan Spindle, I paid ten dollars to see them perform an outrageous set of rock and roll at Chicago’s Empty Bottle a couple weeks ago. The D’Addario brothers traded between drums, guitars and keyboards in a way that seems comical on paper but works perfectly when you’re standing so close you can smell them before you see them.

The music. At first I was having fun conjuring all the influences and references in the grooves of this record. Brill Building writers meet Peter Gabriel on a boat slowly ferrying across the Mersey with a Beatle, Phil Spector, Todd Rundgren, two Eric Carmens and Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem playing live while the cast of Under The Rainbow scampers about.

Songs can (and do) include moments of doo-wop, 1950s R&B, multiple movements (think Yes, early 70s Genesis) and the type of power pop riffs familiar to fans of Big Star, Raspberries and Dwight Twilley. At times I thought I was hearing an unreleased b-side from The Strokes. Or a Beck Hansen outtake. I even wondered if they were in The Monkees but quickly discounted that after doing the math.

There’s a great deal of studio knob-twiddling, button-pushing and orchestral frippery involved in this record, but I largely consider it an omnipresent gift. You get the sense they asked a studio engineer “what’s this button do?” and she said “try it.” And they did. Over and over and over. That’s not to say all that wrist-work takes a front seat while the energetic crunching guitars ride in the trunk. Not at all. It’s more like every bit of this music rides on the roof of a 1970 El Camino as it roars toward the edge of a cliff.

Every time I’d get the sense that the aural sculpture they were crafting was getting a bit ponderous, the noises would disappear only to reappear five or six minutes later disguised cleverly as another bleep, blip or bloop. When things seemed too pompous they’d transition into an acoustic moment descending into a dirge and coming out of a side-hatch into a Partridge Family jangle before jumping into the saddle of a full frontal riff.

Strangely, it all seems to make sense. And it’s fun. And fresh. Sure, it’s easy to quibble with this thing or that because it reminds you of something you’ve heard before. Keep in mind, somebody heard Elvis’ first single and said he ripped off Big Mama Thornton or Ernest Tubb. People hearing Led Zeppelin for the first time knew they’d worn out some Robert Johnson records before recording their first long-player. A guy once told me he was glad the Black Crowes sounded like the Rolling Stones because The Stones didn’t sound like The Stones anymore. And on an on it goes.

The Lemon Twigs Do Hollywood. And then some.

Here’s a link to one half of the formula (click it! >) The Studio Vibe.

And here’s a link to another half of the formula (click it! >) The Live Vibe.

I think you should buy this record at your local record shop or forever live in a past that has no future. And vice versa.

#thelemontwigs #briandaddario #michaeldaddario #jonathanrado #samfrance #dannyayala #ronniedaddario #gregcalbi #autumndewilde #4ad records #seriousrockjournalism #alanspindle #@supertodd5000 #rock #rockmusic #music

8 notes · View notes

deadcactuswalking · 6 years

Text

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 30th December 2018 - its Christmas ennit

So, there are twelve Christmas songs I need to review and no new arrivals. Hence, I’m not going to take myself too seriously on this one, so be prepared for a more lighthearted, funnier and most importantly shorter episode of REVIEWING THE CHARTS right after the usual. Anyways, the chart is pretty much three quarters Christmas this week (28 holiday songs) – joy. Let’s go into what survived, what suffered and the Top 10.

Top 10

We have a new number-one – for its first week, ten weeks into its chart run, “Sweet but Psycho” by Ava Max has reached the top spot. I’m not necessarily complaining because it’s not a bad song, but it still isn’t very festive.

Now: the holidays, because as soon as I start celebrating New Years and the dawn of 2019, there’s a Christmas avalanche (unfortunately, none by the Avalanches). “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey is up three spots to the runner-up place. This could have gone to number-one, which is insane.

“Last Christmas” by WHAM! is up four spots to number-three.

“Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl is up seven spaces to number-four.

“thank u, next” by Ariana Grande is down two places to number-five.

“Do They Know it’s Christmas?” by Band Aid moves up seven positions to number-six. Blech.

“It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” by Michael Bublé is beginning to look a lot more popular as it slides past nine positions all the way up to number-seven.

“One More Sleep” by Leona Lewis proves itself surprisingly well, up eleven spots to number-eight.

Shakin’ Stevens has an identical boost as “Merry Christmas Everyone” travels up to number-nine.

Finally rounding off our top 10, at #10 we have “Step into Christmas” by Elton John, up eight spaces from last week.

Christmas Nonsense

“Driving Home for Christmas” by Chris Rea is up 11 to #11, “I Wish it Could be Christmas Everyday” by Wizzard is up 12 to #12, and just to ruin our streak is “Santa Tell Me” by Ariana Grande, moving up ten spaces to #13, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Brenda Lee is up five to #16, “Merry Xmas Everybody” by Slade is up 19 to #17, “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” by John Lennon, Yoko Ono and the Plastic Ono Band featuring the Harlem Community Choir is up 11 to #18, “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney is up 15 to #20, “We Built This City on Sausage Rolls” (yes, this is a Christmas song) by LadBaby is DOWN 20 spaces from its top-spot debut last week, now at #21 – and that’s it.

What Survived

Really not that much. Outside of the top 10, “Without Me” by Halsey is down nine to #14, “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart” by Mark Ronson and Miley Cyrus is down nine to #15, “Sunflower” from Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse by Post Malone and Swae Lee is down nine to #19, “Rewrite the Stars” by James Arthur and Anne-Marie is down 13 to #25, “Baby Shark” by Pinkfong is somehow UP three spaces to #27, “Lost Without You” by Freya Ridings is down 18 to #32, “Shotgun” by George Ezra is up four to #33, “ZEZE” by Kodak Black featuring Travis Scott and Offset is down 19 to #34 (this is the only rap song on the chart this week, which is crazy considering how big that genre was this year), “Ruin My Life” by Zara Larsson is down 18 to #35, and “Thursday” by Jess Glynne is down a whopping 31 spaces to #40. Now, in the first 600 words or so of this episode, I have name-dropped every single song on the chart right now that is not in any way related to Christmas or the holidays, adding up to a total of about twelve. Why are there so little then? Well, first of all...

What Suffered

Let’s start with songs that aren’t in the top 75 at all. “KIKA” by 6ix9ine featuring Tory Lanez is out from #34 and “when the party’s over” by Billie Eilish is out from #39. These weren’t going to live long anyway. Now, these next songs are ordered by where they are on the top 100 as of this week. “Imagine” by Ariana Grande is out from #8, “A Million Dreams” by P!nk is out from #27, “Baby” by Clean Bandit featuring Luis Fonsi and Marina is out from #25, “Hold My Girl” by George Ezra is out from #32, “Close to Me” by Ellie Goulding, Diplo and Swae Lee is out from #28, “Going Bad” by Meek Mill and Drake is out from #26, “Better” by Khalid is out from #33, “Empty Space” by James Arthur is out from #31 – good!, “Advice” by Cadet and Deno Driz is out from #38 and finally, “Let You Love Me” by Rita Ora is out from #40. Jesus. Now, returning entries.

Returning Entries

#39 – “Baby it’s Cold Outside” – Idina Menzel and Michael Bublé

Written in 1944, the dated lyrics that are perceived as rapey and manipulative have caught some flack in recent years – of course, what do you expect? It’s from 1944, you should be grateful it doesn’t have a reference to minstrel shows. Although the lack of adjustment of the lyrics in recent covers like this one has been concerning because people become more aware, and who else than Adele Dazeem and the definition of non-descript to cover this charming yet problematic classic? I’m kidding, of course, because these two personality vacuums make me sick to my stomach with their dull-as-bricks cover of an already lethargic traditional. Somehow at two minutes and 36 seconds, it’s too long, especially with its static production. I’d like to say mixing is slightly odd too, but that’s probably on purpose, although the skits in between verses are pretty cringeworthy. Next.

#38 – “Lonely this Christmas” – Mud

Speaking of lethargic and boring, how about the exhausting song by Mud? It starts with the a-capella “bom-bom-bom-bom” and I feel that symbolises your life flashing past your eyes right before your slow, gruelling death with surf-rock guitars and the lead singer sounding like he has a gum shield in his mouth but was forced to stand in for Lionel Richie at a Christmas charity event. I’m calling it now – this type of lazy, awfully dreary music is the reason all of our substance-less emo-rap and lo-fi nonsense exists now, and if less Mud means less Juice WRLD and joji, I’m all for removing this song out of the British Xmas music canon. Go away, and take your annoying spoken word sections with you. Next.

#37 – “Underneath the Tree” – Kelly Clarkson

Hey, something that doesn’t suck as much as an alcoholic toddler hidden within fields of cattle. Although this still has barely any build-up so the climax (which is about three seconds in, may I add) feels immensely worthless. Kelly sounds great, as usual, but the instrumentation is quite cluttered when the chorus comes in, meaning like all new Christmas pop songs, it has that overproduced vibe, which is a vibe nobody except Kanye can really work well with. I’m all for maximalist production but once you add a sax solo to about 40 layers of plastic tangentially festive loops, you lose me. The hook is an earworm and a half. Next.

#36 – “Stay Another Day” – East 17

This isn’t a Christmas song. It was number-one at Christmas, and it had snow in the video, but that doesn’t mean it’s a Christmas song. Hence, I refuse to review it. It’s pretty rubbish generic boy-band schlock, anyway, and it’s really bottom-of-the-barrel tier of that genre, so no losses here!

#31 – “White Christmas” – Bing Crosby

This is an absolute classic, with elegant, beautiful strings and some of the sweetest vocals I’ve ever heard laid down from the 50s and 60s crooners of their day. The lyrics are as well-written as Christmas songs really got back then, and for the time, this probably sounded good on records. It sounds pretty awful on streaming, actually, there’s a few vocal clippings that are oddly frequent. Seriously, we need a remastered version of this that isn’t by Michael Bublé. When’s the last time we got a white Christmas anyway? Even Crosby had to wish for it 60 years ago, we basically have to pray the whole 12 months. Next.

#30 – “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” – Jackson 5

Kids shouldn’t be singing, okay? None of them are all that good at it especially when it’s a professional, label-backed recording. Michael Jackson has always sounded pretty awful as a kid, both in and out the Jackson 5, to me at least, in my opinion, and it’s no different here, although I’ll admit he sounds okay in his best moments throughout, and the production has some actual funk and groove behind it, so I’ll always appreciate that (although I definitely do appreciate the painful infant Michael Jackson ad-libs). When I typed in “Santa Claus” into Spotify, the first thing to show up was “I’m Gonna Kill Santa Claus”, so that should tell you how I feel about this type of sickly Christmas music in general. Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnext.

#29 – “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” – Andy Williams

It really isn’t, but as much as I disagree with the politics here, the song’s pretty cool. This is actually remastered so I can appreciate every tidbit, from the bass in Andy Williams’ gorgeous voice, the cute lyrics, the beautiful orchestral instrumentation and the unintentionally lo-fi backing vocals that kind of work as a lower quality in comparison to the rest of the mix because it sounds like a public recording of a chanted vocal in a pub or village or something, like gang vocals in DJ Mustard beats. Why are there ghost stories, though? Was Jack Skellington involved in the making of the song? Either way, this song’s pretty NEXT!

#28 – “Mistletoe”- Justin Bieber

Just because it’s a song that briefly and vaguely references Christmas whilst really being a song about picking up a girl doesn’t mean it’s a Christmas song. I mean, that would imply Lil Wayne’s song about having sex with every girl in the world is a Christmas song, and that’s just wrong.

These hoes is God’s gift like Christmas

Next!

#26 – “Mary’s Boy Child / Oh My Lord” – Boney M.

The women are great but listen, the dude in Boney M. can’t sing, at all, and personally, I don’t like my Christmas songs to be too overly religious. This literally re-tells the birth of Jesus, and for what it’s worth, it’s a decent gospel-disco track although I know a whole album that makes a better combination of urban contemporary music and gospel, in fact, I know two, from the same year and the same people... but seriously that dude’s voice is hilariously pathetic, and his part is just unforgivably horrible and out-of-place. Who told him this was okay? This was the sex icon, I’m pretty sure, of the group, because he was Daddy Cool and all that, but if a man walked up to me with that voice, I’d think he was a child initially and then eventually run away. He scares me with how Godawful (no pun intended) his performance here is... but it’s okay as a whole, I guess. Next.

#24 – “Santa’s Coming for Us” – Sia

Sia tries to do reggae-fusion Christmas and it hurts my ears. This is the only time where Sia’s diction really bothers me because she’s just indecipherable here, and she has nothing to cover her initially except synth noise until the cliché, plastic Christmas beat comes in. Admittedly I like the horns here, but that goes for a lot of these tracks. Sia’s chorus where she just repeats the title until she absolutely mangles the word to the point where it means nothing disgusts me with his repulsing beauty. It’s almost unlistenable, and I’m pretty sure the fake Caribbean inflection deserves this white Australian woman some flack. No? You guys still going to fight the dude in the 1940s who made a song that portrayed gender roles considered more standard at the time, and not the woman who fakes an accent for a worthless Christmas cash-in? Aight then, next.

#23 – “Cozy Little Christmas” – Katy Perry

If you don’t put your music on Spotify and are a big name who is absolutely able to, you are pretentious, irrational and uptight. This song only exists as a single because it was released on Amazon. That’s baffling to me. Next.

#22 – “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” – Darlene Love

Was this in Home Alone? It seems oddly familiar to a song that was definitely in that soundtrack. I don’t know, but this song rocks. The song is oddly desperate despite how it may sound, and I can really dig her longing for days that she had a “true” Christmas because of how she spent it all with her significant other. It’s sweet. Phil Spector’s jolly production shines again with the steady beat (needs a remastered version ASAP) and Darlene Love perfectly riding the instrumental as if she was Santa on his sleigh. Thank you, next.

Conclusion

Oh, wait, that’s all? Thank the Lords. Mud get Worst of the Week for “Lonely this Christmas”, with Dishonourable Mention going to Katy Perry, East 17 and Justin Bieber for all of their worthless cash-ins that I didn’t even bother doing any form of substantial reviews for. Best of the Week goes to Andy Williams, to be honest, for “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”, with Honourable Mention going to no-one. Happy Easter.

0 notes

homestylesdecor · 6 years

Text

The Ultimate Guide To Vintage Shopping In Chicago

When it comes to vintage shopping in Chicago, you can shop til you drop, take a disco nap, rally and shop some more. It's also safe to say I shop for vintage…a lot, and therefore I receive quite a few emails that go something like this: “Hey Kyla, I'm visiting Chicago, and I was hoping you'd share some of you favorite places to shop vintage.” Of course I oblige. Shopping for vintage is my jam.

Now, before you bombard my inbox asking to be sent the coveted, super secret list, keep on reading this post, then promptly bookmark, save to Pinterest, and engrain it in your brain because today I'm sharing the mother of all lists…House Of Hipsters ultimate guide to vintage shopping in Chicago and surrounding suburbs!

MORE AFTER THE JUMP…

Some people like to keep their vintage sources on the DL, but e-ghads! What fun is that? As my ride or die gal Marianne says, “there will always be more vintage”. I guess that is what makes her such a great thrifting buddy. Back in 2014, (lawdy how has it been that long ago?), I wrote a post about vintage shopping in Chicago, but after looking back on it, realized just how out of date the information was.

Let's get started with my favorite vintage shops in Chicago and then we can move our way out to the burbs. Yup, told ya this is the mutha load, trash to treasure list. Buckle down the chin strap and hold on. Here we go!

BROWNSTONE 5234 N Clark St, Chicago Blink and you'll miss it. Brownstone is located in Andersonville, right next to Tilly's…one of my favorite places to shop for vintage jewelry (more on Tilly's below). This place is a pickers dream and and OCD clean freak's nightmare. Piles of vintage precariously stacked on top of piles of antique furniture. If you have time to wander and don't mind a dig, you'll surely find a few treasures.

One thing to beware of, every time I go in, I don't get all the feels. What does that mean? No one is super friendly, but walking in knowing that, you might be pleasantly surprised if you actually receive a hello LOL. So why do I shop here when I don't feel all that welcomed? The prices keep me coming back for more.

BROWN ELEPHANT RESALE SHOP 5404 N Clark St, Chicago Although I don't shop here as much as I'd like, every time I stop in there's something different. You walk in through a large hallway and round the corner to vintage heaven. You'll find some Mid-Century Modern furniture, killer vintage clothing (look closely and you'll find some high end designer pieces), home decor, and art. What's even more amazing is that all the proceeds benefit the LGBTQ health and fund care for the uninsured at Howard Brown Health in Chicago. FYI, if you're looking to donate gently used items, this is a great place to do so.

BEEHIVE CHICAGO 2501 W Chicago Ave, Chicago A great little gem of a shop with treasures galore! This space is a shared showroom and workspace for many local Chicago vintage dealers. With home decor a plenty, you won't leave empty handed, and I guarantee you'll be back for more. You'll also find some great vintage fashion and jewelry. Last time I visited, I was greeted by a pair of stunning Maitland Smith tessellated stone side tables and MCM loungers.

DIAL M FOR MODERN 1136 N. Milwaukee Ave, Chicago If you love Mid-Century Modern decor, this Chicago vintage shop is for you! Find classic Milo Baughman chairs mixed in with quirky and fun 70s funk. Tim (the owner – and also one of the nicest people on the planet) just moved the shop to a new space…which I have yet to see…but I've heard it's killer cool. He has a great eye for incredible furniture and if you live near by and ask pretty please, Tim will usually help get that chair delivered to your home. One thing to beware of though, if something catches your eye, jump on it. Superb quality and fair prices has furniture flying out the door.

LAZY DOG ANTIQUE STORE 1903 W Belmont Ave, Chicago This vintage shop has been on my hot list for a few months. New to me, I stumbled upon Lazy Dog via Instagram and have yet to shop this place in person, but because I've purchased from here online, I still wanted to include it. Loads of drool worthy MCM furniture, killer barware and home decor…plus vintage jewelry. If you get there before me, please report back and tell me what you think.

THE SAVOY FLEA 2621 W Grand Ave, Chicago Like I said above, Marianne (the owner of The Savoy Flea) is my ride or die BVB – Best Vintage Buddy. Her shop is open by appointment only, but don't be intimidated by that. When I first visited this studio, I thought “open by appointment only” meant this shop will be way too damn expensive. Quite the contrary. Marianne is out and about scouring the universe for new vintage treasure for the studio. And if you've

When arriving, be on the look out for a plain white warehouse with zero signage. Told ya it was a hidden treasure. Park in the driveway and if the main door is locked, text, call, or ring the doorbell. After making your way passed pallets of movie props, you'll see a set of double doors. Prepare yourself for an eclectic mix of Parisian Chic, Art Deco and Hollywood Regency glam.

STEPHANIE SCHOFIELD 2621 W Grand Ave, Chicago Walk towards the back of the studio at The Savoy Flea, and you'll find Steph Schofield's Chicago location. Steph has this is a secret source to some seriously famous designers which is probably why her other showroom is in High Point, NC. Yes, I spotted Carson Kressley shopping at the HP location last Spring.

Steph has an eye for unique, one-of-a-kind, unexpected finds you may never see again. Her pieces are 1st Dibs level yet completely obtainable, and most of the time, surprisingly affordable. She was recently featured in Domino magazine and gave a pro tip to vintage shopping, “When I'm trying to decide whether or not to buy something, I visualize tv he piece in a space. Almost anything can be cool in the right context.”

SOUTH LOOP LOFT 685 N Milwaukee Ave, Chicago This is the place for one-of-a-kind vintage statement pieces for your home. South Loop Loft recently moved, and the new space is a showstopper. Cheap? Absolutely not. This is not a store for pickers. However, if you're design obsessed and looking to add some wow factor, South Loop Loft is the place to go. Just be prepared to covet everything. The space is so inspirational and the lighting is on fleek. There's a reason South Loop Loft was featured in Elle Decor.

STRANGELOVELY 2511 W North Ave, Chicago Keep your eyes peeled for a shop window that reads, North Avenue Collective. This is where you'll find Strangelovely. I'm not quite sure how to describe Kim's style…maybe funky, glam granny? Is that a style? First and foremost, if you're looking for a killer Chesterfield sofa or wingback chair, Strangelovely is the place to find it. While wandering around this gorgeous shop, be sure to look down. The rugs are on fleek! Because Kim shares this space with Hopscotch & Soda (vintage clothing), the place feels more like what you want Anthropologie to be. Carefully curated real vintage.

TILLY'S 5232 N Clark St, Chicago Tilly's might me the smallest shop on this list, but the amount of merchandise is overwhelming! If you're into vintage jewelry, handbags and clothing, you must stop in. It's packed to the gills with haute vintage couture and beautifully curated jewelry. Side note, the earrings I wore to meet the creators of Consort Furniture…the guys want to make sconces out of my earrings from Tilly's…ya, incredible finds. Not quite sure where to start, ask the shop's owner Susan Lynch. She basically gives you a once over and starts pulling pieces she knows will fit.

VINTAGE QUEST 1105 N California Ave, Chicago This tiny shop sits in between Strangelovely and the Savoy Flea, so if you're going to either shop, make sure to stop into Vintage Quest. It's a small shop that packs a serious punch. Upon arrival, you're going to think to yourself, Kyla, you sent me to a cross between a man cave and Wisconsin bar. But humor me and have a looksy…yes, that IS a Milo Baughman chair…yes, that IS a DIA swivel table…yes, that is a Togo sectional…and yes, that IS the price.

WOOLLY MAMMOTH 1513 W Foster Ave, Chicago Are you looking for something ultra weird? Victorian hair jewelry? A painting by serial killer John Wayne Gacy? How about a shrunken head…ummm, yes, it's real. I've only stopped into Woolly Mammoth a few times, but if I'm looking for oddities, this is THE place. It's right down the street from Brownstone, The Brown Elephant , and Scout, and it definitely marches to its own beat when it comes to vintage shopping. Word to the wise, you might want to sage yourself on the way out. LOL.

Phew! You still with me? If you are, then you shall be rewarded with a few antique malls, favorite flea markets AND a couple super secret burb locations I only share with nearest and dearest…yup, you're that special.

EDGEWATER ANTIQUE MALL 6314 N Broadway St, Chicago If you're into Mid-Century Modern and Industrial, this is the place to be. Lots of small booths made up of about 40 local vintage dealers. You'll find everything from chairs to doll arms here. As with any antique mall, the prices aren't picker prices, but everything is still quite affordable.

BROADWAY ANTIQUE MALL 6130 N Broadway St, Chicago If you're a vintage shopping local, you probably refer to Broadway Antique Mall as BAM. It's larger than Edgewater, and right down the street, so I usually stop into both when I'm in the area. The front area is mostly glass cases…I cruise through there fairly quick and wander to the left. There's where you'll find booths and nooks where individual sellers can set up vignettes. You'll find vintage cameras, globes, vases, ashtrays, old photos, maybe a pinball machine or two…I also tend to giggle in the aisle of “old porn”. Don't forget to go upstairs. They have a nice selection of MCM furniture.

HERITAGE TRAIL ANTIQUE MALL 410 Ridge Rd, Wilmette, IL See, I told you we'd hit the burbs! Over on Chicago's North Shore, there's a great antique mall in Wilmette. Again, this is a mall, so you will not find picker prices. But what you will find are tons of bonkers good vintage that is highly curated. No doll parts here. One of my favorite booth owners is a shop by the name of Redefined Decor. They carry some of the most eclectic and coveted pieces in the mall and have a couple of booths in the space.

Be sure to head upstairs where you'll find even more awesome. A couple of my other favorite booths belong to PeAk Stuff Vintage and Scene Vintage. I'm constantly watching these Instagram accounts for new arrivals.

BTDubs, Redefined also has a studio in Chicago's West Town neighborhood that I really need to visit one of these days (it's near The Savoy Flea in case you're looking to hit two birds with one stone). You can check out some of the inventory here.

VOLO ANTIQUE MALL 27640 Volo Village Rd., Volo, IL If you want to kill a day antiquing, this is your one stop shop. Just a few miles away from the Wisconsin border sits 4 large buildings chucked full of pretty much everything and anything you can image. Over 400 local dealers in multi level barns. Volo is not highly curated, but you will find anything from formal antiques to Mid-Century retro to mantiques to industrial to primitives to collectibles.

Because this place is so vast, you have to checkout in each building…meaning don't carry items from mall 1 into mall 2. I tend to find quite a lot here, so I start piles at each checkout counter. The very last building sits over a garage filled with vintage cars and tends to have a strong odor of gasoline which gives me a headache…so I tend to skip that particular building. Oh, and one other thing to mention, if you get hungry, head over to Fratellos for lunch and a lemonade.

Ready for some fleas?

KANE COUNTY FLEA MARKET The first weekend of every month is the Kane County Flea Market. You'll walk through barns and buildings full of primitives and mostly traditional antiques. It's massive. You'll also find shabby chic crafts and handmade items…along with some tube socks. Because I'm more of a Mid-Century glam gal, this is not my favorite flea, but I do tend to walk away with some vintage items. Be sure to dress for dust and dirt…this flea is held at a traditional fairgrounds.

GRAYSLAKE FLEA MARKET The Grayslake flea is held the second weekend of every month, and many times it is themed. I just happened to go to the MCM themed weekend and can I just say that flea was on fire! This happens to be one of my favorite fleas…mainly because it's small and low key. It also helps that it's minutes away from my house. So what do I mean by low key? When I go to a a flea in the city, almost everyone is dressed to impress. Grayslake I could walk in my jammies and no one would bat an eye. Also, every once is so nice. No one is pushing past you trying to get to something first…it's just very chill.

WOLFF'S FLEA – ROSEMONT If you've ever driven down the Kennedy Expressway on a Sunday during the summer, you've probably seen the flea in Rosemont at All State Arena. Because this flea is held in a parking lot on blacktop in summer heat, it can be absolutely brutal. The vintage shopping can be very hit or miss depending on the weather, so I usually keep my eye on their Facebook page. Don't miss the farmer's market section of this flea. The plants and produce do not disappoint.

RANDOLPH STREET MARKET There's nothing more unique than antiquing in an open air market in downtown Chicago, and Randolph Street Market takes party to another level. This flea is one of my favorite haunts for vintage shopping in Chicago. Every time I leave, my car is packed to the gills with treasures and I venture home with a smile on my face. In fact, I would say it's a bucket list flea. You're going to find a highly curated group of vendors selling quality over quantity.

It's also one of my favorite fleas to attend especially during the summer months. Why? Well, the parking lot of course…and no, I don't mean for my car (they have a valet service for that). During the months of May – September Randolph shows shows off some srsly jazzy furniture in the parking lot and pack it full of food trucks, live music, fresh roast coffee and my favorite part…booze. Yes, the mimosas are flowing at this vintage bonanza. This flea is held every 4th Saturday and Sunday of the month and is not to be missed.

Now, for my super secret local shops. The antique shops in Barrington where I live and are near and dear to my heart. This quiet little town is becoming more and more a hub for antiquing. In fact, I'm marking my calendar for this event in September.

PINK GERANIUM 829 W Northwest Hwy, Barrington While driving down Northwest Hwy, on the other side of the Metra tracks is is Marble and Granite warehouse…and on Thursday – Saturday, you'll see a tiny hot pink sign. Crank that wheel, cross the tracks and turn right. You've arrived at Pink Geranium.

Treasures upon treasures, nicely curated. You won't find piles of furniture, but there's still plenty to look at. The owner Katie and her staff are sooooooo incredibly nice, and they usually have a treat or tiny snack at the checkout counter. I usually pop in once a month, and never leave disappointed. This place is a gem.

STEEPLECHASE ANTIQUES When we were looking for a home I spied with my little eye a sign that said “antiques”. MY PEOPLE!!!!! Steeplechase was the first local antique store I visited after the move, and I've made quite a few purchases since that day. In fact, the owner Karrin took me under her wing a bit after I lost my job. For a few months, I helped her style the shop…I don't think she will ever know how much she helped me mentally. I cherish her friendship.

Okay, enough with the mushy stuff…Karrin curates antiques…no MCM here. Lots of wood and brown tones. When I was styling, it felt like all these beautiful pieces were growing up, and out of a beautiful garden of ivy and topiaries. Beautifully patinated wood tables, oversized urns, trophies, trunks, books, and old leather furniture. Her store has this look that's stunning and ever changing. Yep, she's one popular lady and flips that store pretty much every week. So if you see something you like, you better snap it up, or it'll be gone in a flash.

FRIENDS OF PEPPER ROAD The 10 major antique shops (including Steeplechase and Pink Geranium) in Barrington teamed up, and they host open house events. Every 4-6 weeks, they stay open late, and vintage shoppers can make the rounds, store to store. It's so much fun. A couple that I like to pop my head into are The English Daisy and Winterberry.

PARIS MARKET ANTIQUES Last one…and this shop I have to thank Karrin for or I'd never know it was here. Back behind Jewel is the Icehouse Mall…this is also where we had our first Thanksgiving in Barrington…cuz I know you really needed to know that. Anyhoo, wander down the hall of this building and you'll stumble upon Paris Market Antiques…and it's huge…and packed. I've only been there once, but I think the people who own it, also own a local estate sale company. Which makes sense with the inventory size…but don't quote me on it. It's hidden, quiet, and a total and complete gem of a find.

// <![CDATA[ (function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){i['GoogleAnalyticsObject']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){ (i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o), m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m) })(window,document,'script','//www.google-analytics.com/analytics.js','ga'); ga('create', 'UA-46448269-1', 'auto'); ga('send', 'pageview'); // ]]>

The post The Ultimate Guide To Vintage Shopping In Chicago appeared first on House Of Hipsters.

0 notes

theworstbob · 8 years

Text

yellin’ at songs, 3.4.2017

giving due consideration to all the songs which debuted on the billboard chart this week, with a stunning twist ending that will leave you rocked like a hurricane

oops) "That's What I Like," by Bruno Mars

Did this debut 12.10.2016? Yes. Yes, it did. Am I making an exception because it was released as a single on 30 January? Hellz yeah. I think we always knew cheeseball Bruno Mars circa 2012 was going to resurface at some point, and it is here in full force. "Take a look in that mirror/Tell me who's the fairest/Is it you?/Is it me?/Say it's us/And I'll agree." Absolutely no thank you. But this is cheeseball Bruno Mars in the post-"Uptown Funk" era, so yeah it's corny but it's still such a tasty jam, it's fun and it's upbeat and yeah that line is bad but, honestly, saying that line is cheesy completely discredits the hyper-confident "yeah, I know you love it" way Bruno delivers it. He knows it's corny, but he also knows it's gonna make you smile, and goddamnit, he's right. There's two tracks with Future features this week, and I just listened to Future. Gimme some got damn cheese, y’all. I don’t need more bleakness in my life.

4) "Chained to the Rhythm," by Katy Perry ft./Skip Marley

Like, this. This is pop music right now, so I'll take my cheesy-ass Bruno Mars any fucking day of the week, thank you. You know you're in for a bleak and shitty time when the title of the song evokes imagery of imprisonment and enslavement. This is a song about how we're all idiots for enjoying music with our free time. It feels like going to Thanksgiving and getting cornered by your 13-year-old cousin who just watched a Tim Burton movie for the first time and thus has figured out all of life’s secrets. There's a guest verse about how They awoke lions and are about to face the consequences, which is a bizarre aside in a song about how we're all actually asleep. The song does not build to that verse, and the verse does not build off of the song. All in all, though, it's just another entry in the decade-long list of awful Katy Perry songs. "Ur So Gay" turns 10 in November. In the history books, Barack Obama's entire presidency lives within Katy Perry's career as a pop star. Why’d y’all let this happen? I downloaded my MySpace blogs, I can tell ya, I was against this from the jump. This one’s on y’all. Y'all are silly.

42) "Cold," by Maroon 5 ft./Future

Like all Maroon 5 songs, this is acceptable.

54) "Bom Bidi Bom," by Nick Jonas ft./Nicki Minaj

I'm trying to figure out why this song left me so cold. I don't want to pin it all on Nick Jonas. I think I might be judging it based on its presence on the 50 Shades of Gray soundtrack, but I have heretofore associated the 50 Shades of Gray soundtracks with a certain melodramatic trait, and this association has me feeling like "Bom Bidi Bom" is an attempt at light-hearted fare written by people who have never actually smiled. This should be fun, right? This should be tons of fun! But none of the ingredients are fun. I’m not hear to kinkshame but I wouldn’t call 50 Shades a good time, I don't think Nick Jonas is who I'm gonna seek out when I need to party (why would you call Nick when Joe made "Cake by the Ocean," this might just be one Jonas away from truly burning up), and it sure sounds like Nicki Minaj was happy to take that 50 Shades money and run. I wanted to like it! I was pumped, I thought I was gonna have a better time! This song just bom bidi bummed me out. I am so proud of what I accomplished with this paragraph, y'all ain't even realize, man.

62) "Shining," by DJ Khaled ft./Beyonce & Jay-Z

Get that paper, Bey. Get that paper, Jay. You got twins on the way. They're not gonna be cheap, and hey, I know she's killing that preschool game right now, but I don't think Blue's quite ready to live on her own yet! Hook up with the meme man and get that got damn paper! This is a reminder that, even at the peak of her powers, Beyonce can still make the occasional misstep. None of us are immortal. She will barely feel this, just as you will barely feel whatever failure you're presently going through. Take heart! (And if you've yet to find success, remember: before she was Beyonce, she had to be in an Austin Powers movie. No matter where we are, we'll all be okay.)

71) "Helium," by Sia

I respect it. It's definitely not my jam, but I respect it. I only have so much time for piano 'n strings. It's a type of song that has a high floor but a low ceiling. At some point, you start editing the Grey's Anatomy closing-moments montage this'll play over in your head. This is a Sia song, and I'm just seeing Izzy leaving McSteamy in the rain. But: this is that 50 Shades sound I was talking about! So there’s... that?

77) "Heroe Favorito," by Romeo Santos

Bob! the first three seconds of this song: Oh, yo! This might be a nice '70s soul throwback! I'm down with this! Bob! after the dude started singing: Oh. Oh, okay. So this is what you have decided to sound like. Maybe I'm just not feeling it this week. I really dug the guitar solo! There's a lot of things to like about this song! But you have to listen to this dude to get there. I think it may have just hit me in the wrong week, I'm usually down for falsetto, I should be down for this, but I'm thinking about listening to this again in three weeks to give it a fair shake, and I get the funny feeling he's still gonna have this voice.

84) "Everything 1K," by Kodak Black

So here's the thing: fuck this dude. Innocent until proven guilty and all that, but this dude seems like a real piece of shit. There are rappers who are a) not on trial for rape, and b) actually good at rapping. How about the rest of this week we listen to those guys instead!

85) "Everyday," by Ariana Grande ft./Future

This song wasn't really doing it for me until it got to the "la la la" bit, and that's what did it for me. This song is going to sit in the top 20 for a couple weeks at least and it's solely because I feel that the "la la la"s sound the way love is supposed to feel. Future shouting "everyday" over and over again? Enh. Ari trying to sell a line in which she swears? Enh. Ari singing "la la la?" THIS IS WHY I HAVEN'T STOPPED BELIEVING. (In what?) ANYTHING.

87) "Rolex," by Ayo & Teo

This is a four-minute song about a brand of luxury watches. I am sure this is for someone, and I am so happy that something in this world is for them. Other people are happy as a result of this song existing, and my heart soars like an eagle at the thought.

88) "Cash Me Outside (#CashMeOutside)," by DJ Suede The Remix God

i questioned whether there was anything of value to be gained from listening to this song, but now that i've listened to this song, well, y'know what? there was not

93) "It Ain't Me," by Kygo x Selena Gomez

"Who's gonna walk you through the dark side of the morning?" is a lyric I'd scrawl across a thousand notebooks were I ten years younger. This was a "hot track," I daresay! It's like the response track to "We Are Young" I never knew I needed. This is the most I've ever enjoyed Selena Gomez, and Kygo seems chill! This could've been way more overdone than it was! Time will tell if I'm being overly generous to the song that followed the "Cash Me Outside" remix, but I think this was pretty legit!

94) "Yeah Boy," by Kelsea Ballerini

I'm glad I get the chance to talk about Kelsea Ballerini! Kelsea Ballerini's album, The First Time, is a legitimately Great pop/country album. It's a great piece of bubblegum you can chew on for 40 minutes. Now, you likely listened to this song and noticed the presence of the line "Blue jeans and a ball cap" in the first verse, and I am aware I would excoriate a bro country schmuck for being lazy and cliched with a line like that, but here's the thing about Kelsea Ballerini and her album: it's hella basic. When I extol the virtues of The First Time, I am not singling out its grand artistic vision, because this is, on its face, standard pop/country fare. It feels so good with Kelsea Ballerini, though! There's a reason for that: when you check out the Top 50 Hot Country Songs, eleven of the 50 feature female voices. It is, legitimately, the fact that bro country cliches are being funneled through a female artist that make Kelsea Ballerini feel fresh and fun and exciting, just the simple fact of the female perspective is rare enough in country music that it qualifies as an interesting spin on old tropes. None of this is intended to discredit Kelsea Ballerini, or suggest she’s getting by due to some sort of reverse sexism that has never actually existed outside of anyone’s imagination. She is clearly a great talent -- peep how she’s getting it done on an indie label! (One with noted billionaire Terry Pegula’s backing, but, hey, indie is indie!) And I kind of slagged on the artistic vision, and that was unfair, because without some sort of unique perspective, this song still would’ve fallen flat (see: Cassadee Pope’s “Summer”), and all Kelsea Ballerini has done to date is put out quality songs. She clearly knows what she’s doing. And not for nothing: CHOREOGRAPHY! THERE'S CHOREOGRAPHY IN A COUNTRY MUSIC VIDEO! Kelsea Ballerini is a true American hero, and I'm so stoked she's had a successful couple years.

96) "Hurricane," by Luke Combs

See, this guy seems cool, at least as cool as a dude who prolly voted for Trump can seem. (I'm solely judging his beard. His social media is apolitical as far as I cared to research, and while it's encouraging he doesn't think Julian Edelman is a better receiver than Julio Jones and that he's aware of the fact of CeeLo Green's existence, that trashboy beard is just straight GamerGate. C’mon, guy.) This song is basic. "I was in a bar, you walked in, I took you home." Oh wow such a deep intricate story. I can’t think of a single other song where anyone did anything like a hurricane, you sure rocked that metaphor. But because this dude isn't conventionally attractive, this song automatically becomes more interesting, because it feels like more than “hey we found this hot guy to sing about Chevrolet summer nights,” and that makes one actually want to do basic research and see this song has been out for nearly a year and a half and the dude's just been out there grinding this whole time. It’s weird that he grinded this song, of all things, but it’s clear he worked to get here. He might have even written the entire song on his own! That’s only backhanded if you don’t know Nashville. I’m not that big on this song? But I respect him. I can't say I'm going to seek out his other works, but if I’m out of things to do some Saturday afternoon and am presented with those other works, I might give it a shot. Luke Combs: not the worst! Who'da thunk?

Now that I’ve gone on about country music for 10,000 words, which is what anyone came to hear, The top 20 20) "Beibs in the Trap," by Travis Scott (1.21) 19) "My Old Man," by Zac Brown Band (2.25) 18) "Castle on the Hill," by Ed Sheeran (1.28) 17) "Call Casting," by Migos (2.18) 16) "Running Back," by Wale ft./Lil Wayne (2.11) 15) "I'm Better," by Missy Elliott ft./Lamb (2.18) 14) "Way Down We Go," by Kaleo (1.14) 13) "Everyday," Ariana Grande ft./Future (3.4) 12) "Light," by Big Sean ft./Jeremih (2.25) 11) "Guys My Age," by Hey Violet (2.11) 10) "Good Drank," by 2 Chainz ft./Gucci Mane & Quavo (2.11) 9) "Yeah Boy," Kelsea Ballerini (3.4) 8) "It Ain't Me," Kygo x Selena Gomez (3.4) 7) "Now & Later," by Sage the Gemini (2.25) 6) "Shape of You," by Ed Sheeran (1.28) 5) "That's What I Like," by Bruno Mars (3.4) 4) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee (2.4) 3) "Issues," by Julia Michaels (2.11) 2) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty (1.14) 1) "Run Up," by Major Lazer ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj (2.18) “iSpy” cracked the top 20 this week and that makes me so incredibly hopeful for the future. Also apparently Chainsmokers and Coldplay dropped a collaboration today, so I hope everyone enjoyed Yellin’ at Songs because this is the last installment you can’t make me YOU CAN’T M

1 note · View note