#wicked willow series

[oveliagirlhaditright]

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As I've mentioned a number of times, I LOVE how the Buffy and Angel tie-in books acknowledge each other. Like, these two bottom scenes are two of the "Wicked Willow" books referencing "Tempted Champions."

[lilibetbombshell]

[johnwickb1tsch]

bittersweet ~ a yandere!John Wick x fem!reader sunshine/grump coffee shop AU... Part 28 all chapters

⚠⚠Trigger warning: mention of past terminated pregnancy, NOT Reader. If details of this will bother you skip the section that starts with “One day he lets you sit in as he repairs a tattered copy of The Wind In The Willows.” You can pick up again at “-He gives you run of the house.”  I’ll give you the brief gist of the plot point in the end notes.  Also mention of possible suicide, NOT Reader.

-As he prepares dinner you sit at the island, you are enjoying a glass of wine and watching him cook. His hands are like poetry, no matter the task at hand. He is slicing peppers, and offers you a piece from across the island. After your previous experience, you should be wary accepting any tidbit that color from this man, but in an act of trust you take it, your lips brushing the tips of his fingers.

It is sweet and crisp and juicy between your teeth, and you sigh to yourself.

This is what you could have had, all along.

Watching you with a small smile, he twirls the knife in his hand absently like it is an extension of his body.

You do not take it as a threat. He simply seems…content, and you wonder if you dare trust any of this at face value.

He goes back to cooking, and you watch him with your wine in hand. It is a tasty Cabernet from Chilé, and maybe you shouldn’t drink too much of it, but then again…what do you have to lose at this point?

Your eyes cast around the cavernous room while John bustles at the stove. The scene is so domestic you could cry, because you realize this is what you’d hoped to share with him before it all went to hell.

You cast your eyes down, to find the razor-sharp Japanese paring knife is now sitting in the middle of the island by the cutting board, easily within reach.

It's really the first mistake he's made in the keeping of you, since he let his guard down enough to let you whomp him with War and Peace.

You stare at it, thinking.

Is it an opportunity? What exactly would you do with it, that would achieve any sort of useful end? It hits you like a ton of bricks for some reason, when you realize that despite what he’s done to you, you have zero interest in hurting John.

You hadn’t even liked hitting him with a book.

The thought of stabbing him makes you physically ill.

Frowning at the thought, you cross your arms and sit back on the stool, glaring at the thing as though it had called you a filthy name.

Belatedly, you realize John is watching you from over at the stove.

It wasn’t a mistake.

It was a test.

You transfer your glare to him as he approaches, picking up the tiny but potentially deadly blade.

He says nothing, just washes and dries it before replacing it in the knife block, not the locked drawer.

You guess you passed.

-Later, over dinner, he asks, “Why didn't you pick it up?” 

“Because the thought of hurting you makes me sick.”

He actually smirks at you. “That’s nice to hear.”

You’re not sure if he’s baiting you on purpose, but your temper starts to rise. So much for a quiet evening.

“That’s not how I’m going to get out of here,” you declare, feeling brave.

Or stupid.

Hearing this amuses him heartily.

“Yeah?”

“Someday, you're going to let me go, because you'll realize it's the right thing to do.” 

He leans his elbows on the table, fixing you with that dark stare that pins you in your seat. “I already told you, kitten, I'm never going to let you go.” He says it sweetly this time, but you sense he is still absolutely serious in his conviction.

-The week that follows is a series of halcyon days, filled with the affection and attention from Mr. Wick that you'd craved all along. Something has shifted in him, and you're still not sure exactly what, or how to make it stay.

 You cook meals together in the mornings and evenings. He teaches you things about haute cuisine and international dishes that you'd never had any inkling or access to. The things you make for dinner some nights you've only heard of on tv or in magazines. He's tasted these things in their original countries, and tells you what stories he can, that don't involve disclosing the details of multiple homicides committed for astronomical pay.

You know he must be showing off for you. A man with a waistline like that does not eat like this regularly. A small part of you dares to wonder, is he actually trying to woo you?

You fill your days with time in the studio, and with him.

The brightly colored Dolce and Gabbana sundresses you’d coveted in Italy mysteriously start appearing at the foot of the bed every day. Floral prints in pink and red, and bright majolica-inspired designs with yellow acanthus curls and blue accents, as well as the dreamy azure and white azulejo tile patterns. You marvel at what he spent, to lay these at your feet. You don’t even care that he’s picking out your outfits, dressing you like a feminine doll—because they make you happy. You even go so far as to wear them in your studio, not caring if you get a smudge of paint or pastel on the brightly printed fabric. What does it matter now?

What does anything matter?

-One day he lets you sit in as he repairs a tattered copy of The Wind In The Willows. You discover he likes old children’s books best and he has dozens on his shelves. Something about missing out on a real childhood of his own, you reckon, and undoubtedly the artistry that went into them.

This is the day he tells you that he was almost a father himself once. That when he’d been a foolish young man (his words), he’d fallen in love with one of the ballerinas at the school for assassins where he’d been raised. When the inevitable this led to that with hormone-charged youths with no access to birth control, they planned to run away together.

He’d wanted nothing more at that time, but to just live a simple life with his little family. He just knew in his heart, that the baby would be a girl. He’d already named her, Irina, his little Irinushka. But the night they meant to leave they were intercepted by the other students, and separated by The Director of the school. Tatiana was forced to terminate her pregnancy, because a principal ballerina bearing baby weight was of no use to The Theater at all.

When finally they were allowed to see each other young fire-eyed Jardani wanted to try to leave again. He was willing to kill anyone who got in their way this time, brothers or not. But Tatiana was changed, a shadow of the girl he’d known, and she refused to go with him. She said it had all been a stupid mistake, and he heard the Director’s indoctrination echoing through his lover’s mouth. She began numbing her pain with pills, and wouldn’t stop, despite his pleading. She pushed him away, and a year later she died in a car crash during a mission running drugs across the city. John never knew if it had been an accident, or if she’d given up to the sorrow eating at her heart.

He tells you all this in quiet, almost impersonal tones as he weaves the kettle stitch binding on the book, as though it happened to someone else. The man he had been, you suppose, this Jardani Jovonovich. You imagine what he must have been like as a young man. You suspect he must have been heartbreakingly beautiful, and probably could have had women eating out of his palm and tucking their panties into his pocket at every turn.

Yet, all he’d really wanted was his little ballerina, and his baby Irinushka.

He did leave The Theater soon after, to become the notorious Baba Yaga, the infamous assassin John Wick who could kill three men with naught but a pencil. You listen to all this with horror and tears in your eyes, feeling as though your own heart has been run through a shredder, understanding even further exactly why this steadfast man finally cracked to pieces.

You doubt your own state of mind could have fared so well, for so long.

-He gives you run of the house, reasoning correctly that you won’t be able to get past the locks and bulletproof windows anyway. One day, when you cannot find him, you wander into the garage.  He is tinkering with his motorcycle, in a grease stained white t-shirt and ratty jeans that cross the wires in your brain a little. 

The sight of the machine fills your heart with what is perhaps an irrational amount of hope.

“Can we go for a ride?” you ask, thinking of that perfect day you once spent together. You have not been outside once since returning to Clear Forks, though you can tell from looking out the window that you've had a series of beautiful sunny days. They’re a thing not to be wasted in the mountains; fall will come quickly, and then winter before you can blink.

“Not today, sweetheart,” he sighs, actually sounding apologetic, wiping his hands on a rag.

You pout silently, but do not push the issue. You are learning to pick your battles. If you keep poking here and prodding there, someday, you will find a weakness to exploit. You must be patient.

When he is sweet to you, patience is not so difficult to come by. You know that is dangerous, but not quite what to do about it.   

The garage is a massive space, and you take the opportunity to look around. You should be scoping out possible tools for escape, but mostly...you're just curious. 

Is he succeeding in training you? You ask yourself this with what should be an alarming amount of detachment.

Looking past the Land Rover in the middle bay, you see something underneath a cover. Feeling emboldened by his mild mood that day, you walk over to peek underneath. 

The sight makes a quiet exclamation slip from your lips. 

“Is this the car?”

It is a matte gray Mustang with subtle black racing stripes. You don't know much about classic cars, but it looks fast as hell. 

“The car?”

You turn to find he is directly behind you. You didn't hear or sense him move at all. You wonder belatedly if maybe this is a sore spot you should have left well alone. 

“Um...never mind.”

“It's OK. You like classics?” 

“I...guess? It’s very pretty.”

He pulls off the cover, unveiling the machine in all its glory. “It’s a ’69 Boss 429. 375 horsepower, 450 pound-foot of torque.” 

You smile, having no inkling what that really means, but you can tell it makes him happy. 

“Can we take this for a ride?”

Luckily, he just chuckles at your transparency. 

“Maybe.” It would be harder for you to escape from a car, than from off the back of the bike, after all. He kisses your forehead, not replacing the cover, before going back to the bike. 

Somewhat heartened, you wander back up to your studio.

-On the third day, you start to dream about Helen.

It’s actually nothing new for you, communing with the dead through your dreams. You’ve never really thought it more than your own overactive imagination, visiting with your grandmother or your great uncles, even sometimes an old boyfriend who had since passed away. But this feels like something more, and frankly, it gives you the creeps.

At first, you are simply sitting together, an uncomfortable silence between the two of you. You can hardly blame her—you are fucking her husband, after all, if not entirely of your own choice.

But one night, she comes to you in a field of daisies. Extending one to you, she offers you a tired if not slight smile. There is a pleading in her caramel-colored eyes, and maybe regret too. She only says two words. “I’m sorry.” You wake with the haunted feeling that she knows she made him into this version of himself with the trauma of her loss, but she’s still passing the keeping of him on to you.

What does she want you to do? Save him? You start to cry quietly to yourself, because the dangerous man who was her husband is laying asleep behind you with his arms tight around you like you are his teddy bear, and you don’t know how.

.

.

Author’s note: The general gist of the TW section was that young John/Jardani and one of the ballerinas became pregnant and were going to run away from the Tarkovsky theatre. But they got caught and The Director wouldn’t allow it. She separated them, made Ballerina terminate the pregnancy, and Ballerina died the next year possibly of suicide.  Obviously, this left an impression on John.

[nerdieforpedro]

The Lake Between Us - Part One

The Nurse who's frayed at the seams

Ezra AU x plus size OFC (Nickname Moonbeam - has a name in later parts)

This fic is for readers 18+ MDNI

Word Count: 868

Warnings: insomnia, alcohol use, anxiety, mutual voyeurism, brief mentions of death, cancer and post-mortem care

Notes: My first series with Ezra! It's been fun writing this and therapeutic for me. I envision the setting to be on a bayou in Louisiana with the weeping willows and slow waters. Plus I wanted Ezra to have an air boat. ☺️ I'm not sorry for anything.

Main Masterlist / Ezra Masterlist / The Lake Between Us Series

It’s fine during the day, the rapid fire and thinking quickly on your feet. It’s what makes you good at what you do. Able to keep so many details straight while answering questions about six patients and more if you’re keeping an eye out on another nurse’s assignment while they’re at lunch.

It’s why it bothers you so much. You’ve taken your medications. Stopped looking at your phone an hour before bed. The room was pitch black before bed and the white noise machine was going. You even took your shower earlier than normal because apparently a nice warm shower doesn’t promote sleep according to the experts. You personally found warm water relaxing, isn’t that why tea is good before bed?

One of them needs to come to your house and see why you’re not sleeping.

It’s three a.m. You’ve at least gotten five hours of sleep. Enough to function. You’re awake in this darkness though and you’re well acquainted with it. There’s one thing you can do that will at least relax you now. You’ve done it the last few weeks despite all these changes to your sleep hygiene and routine. 

Your legs are over the side of the bed and carry you to your back door where your yellow crocs are. It’s off the back of the kitchen so you grab some rum and mango juice. A chair you bought when you went to an antiques show with some friends sits on your back porch and you plop down. It rocks and that helps your nerves slightly. Your large thighs press into the sides of the rocking chair but not painfully. The periwinkle sleep shorts you have are matched by the camisole that has bunched up at the bottom exposing the pooch of your stomach.

The crickets are loud and there are even some lightning bugs about dotting around the tall grass that surrounds the lake in the middle of your backyard. The lake is connected to an estuary that your neighbor across the way often drives his airboat off in. Thankfully the water is at least slow moving to it only attracts but so many bugs, but that’s also why you’ve taken to lighting a lavender eucalyptus candle when you come outside on the porch. Ironic considering the very same scent that keeps various insects away is supposed to lull you to sleep and it does not. You’ve never met the man. Only seen him on his back porch.

You know very little about him, not even his name. He’s at least your age, if not older. Tall and broad with sun-kissed skin from working during the daylight hours you assume or it could be his natural skin tone. His hair is brown except for a gray or blonde patch in the front. From what you’ve seen, he has a patchy beard that could have gray or more blonde and a wicked smile. It’s then that he emerges from his abode the same as you. He has something to drink as well. Usually he’s wearing a t-shirt or tank top but it’s balmy this morning so he’s shirtless in some loose shorts. You’re not sure if they’re for sleep or lounging. There looks to be some definition to his chest as he takes in the night air. He looks up after pouring himself a glass of something that might be brown, it’s hard to see from here and it’s dark. The man’s limbs are weighted down like yours are. Could his thoughts be running a mile a minute as well? What would lead him to be on his porch too? Is he alone like you? Shouldn’t he have someone warming his bed? Given how he looks from here, he shouldn’t have any issue in that department. Maybe it’s by choice, but why would he choose to? Divorced? Separated? Recent break-up? Maybe a fight with someone and they’re letting each other stew…

Planning different scenarios for the day, reviewing what you’ve seen, the care you’ve provided the people you encountered. Today you discharged a patient home, consulted one where the doctor sort of explained that they have cancer but it didn’t really sink in and assisted with post-mortem care because you were the nurse with the most experience on the unit. The rest were new grads, bless them but they really needed to remove teaching care plans and expand on communication, psych and discussions with biases surrounding death. Maybe you should email the state board, do they even check their email? They had to, right? They’re a government body, but are they gonna do anything with it? Your mind has spun again in that short time. 

The lack of restful sleep is having the same encumbering effect on the pair of you. Fatigued bodies to match your brains. 

His glass raises and he nods in your direction. You do the same. Then you both drain your glasses and refill them. No words are exchanged. The sounds of water, insects, and a light breeze fill the void where speech would be. Normally these sounds are what lull most people to sleep in Louisiana, but not you nor him.

A toast to another night of sleep lost.

Part Two

[onceuponaoneshotfanfic]

Something There (Chapter 4)

7.6k words

Roy Kent x Reader

Warnings: Language, more enemies-to-lovers, some sexual references, Roy Kent starting to realize he's a pining fool

Series Masterlist

As I sat at my desk, I stole a glance into the Greyhounds’ office. There was Roy, sitting at his own desk, arms crossed, staring up at the tits drawn by an eight-year-old child, although I could tell by his stony expression that he wasn’t really looking at the drawing. He was thinking.

It had been almost a week after the team retreat, and he still hadn’t really looked at me or talked to me, not since we sat on the floor of that little shed and talked about “fairy tale shit”. Part of me had thought that something was about to happen as we sat there, something I hadn’t realized I could even be interested in, but Roy had ruined whatever that was. After we left the shed, he avoided me in a way that made the prior weeks seem downright warm and friendly.

During the rest of the retreat, he’d pointedly leave the table when I sat down for meals, completely shut down in our small group unless directly spoken to by anyone that wasn’t me, and on the bus ride home, without Rebecca instructing us to sit with anyone in particular, he’d made a beeline for the Greyhounds’ bus and sat with Jamie Tartt, who I heard looked both surprised and pleased to have his coach next to him for two hours.

Being back at the Dog Track was just as bad. If I walked into a room, he found a reason to leave. When we passed each other in the hall or when rotating use of the pitch, his phone was suddenly incredibly interesting, even if all he was staring at was a black screen. And he was no longer running next to me in silence after work while Lust Conquers All played overhead; instead, I caught him pulling up to Nelson Road an extra hour before his usual arrival time to use the empty weight room.

But I didn’t care. Not at all. Nope, not me. Roy Kent could do whatever the fuck he wanted. It didn’t matter to me one bit.

I turned my gaze away from the Greyhounds’ office and refocused on the email I was writing, letting Keeley know that a local paper, The Richmond Star,wanted to do profiles on some of the Whippets and asking her what I could do to help.

“The Richmond Star?” Lucas hummed, hovering over my shoulder. “That wouldn’t happen to be the newspaper of one George Willows, would it?”

My cheeks suddenly felt warm. “It might be,” I answered coyly as I hit SEND on my email. I turned my chair around to face my assistant coach.

He raised an eyebrow at me. “Interesting.”

“Why’s that so interesting?” I snorted, knowing exactly what he was about to say.

Indeed, his smile turned wicked. “Oh, just that I keep seeing that particular name light up your phone every five seconds. And your interview with him was supposed to only be about a half hour, but the two of you sat in here for like two hours.” He leaned forward. “And I heard a certain coach hates him.” His wide eyes told me that he was relishing sharing that bit of gossip.

“Beard? Nate?” I asked, playing dumb, as if I hadn’t watched Roy Kent confront George in the hall the day of that two-hour interview. “They’re too nice to hate anyone.”

Lucas shrugged, glancing through the window I’d been staring at earlier; Roy was typing now, hopefully completely out of earshot of this very childish conversation. “All I know is that if you go out with George Willows, you might be ruining your chances with Kent.”

My face was now on fire with annoyance. “Oh no, whatever will I do? The guy who hates me won’t want to go out with me if I go out with a nice guy?” I hissed as I turned back to my computer, opening a spam email so I could look anywhere but at Lucas or Roy Kent. “Besides, it’s not like George Willows has even asked me out. And as for Roy fucking Kent-”

I stopped talking when I saw him get out of his chair. As he exited his office through the locker room, his eyes shifted towards our office, landing on me. For a fraction of a second, I saw that look I’d seen in the shed in the woods, the one when I swore his gaze flickered to my lips. The soft expression was quickly replaced with an icy glare and matching scowl before he disappeared into the locker room, his gruff voice commanding his players to hurry out onto the pitch.

My point proven, I looked at Lucas. “Oh yeah. That man is dying to go out with me.”

~

Roy stared at his phone with a deep frown. He hated having her phone number; more than once, when he was home alone with a drink in his hand, he found his thumb hovering over her name, tempted to text her or- even worse- call her. He wasn’t sure what the fuck he would even say, but he knew one of these days he was going to fuck up and hit that button.

Not that there was a single text between the two of them; they were, however, in a couple of group chats together. Right now, there was a new message for the two of them from Rebecca: Come to my office please.

Without a word, he showed the text to Beard, who simply nodded, immediately understanding that Roy wanted him to take charge for a bit. Wishing he had an excuse to avoid this meeting, maybe even meet with Rebecca one-on-one instead, Roy trudged back into the building and began to make his way to Rebecca’s office, grateful that he could at least walk alone.

Alone until he felt someone fall into step beside him. He didn’t need to turn his head to know it was her; and if he did, he didn’t know what he’d say. Unfortunately for Roy, she decided to fill the silence.

“We’re not in trouble, are we?” she asked, her voice almost light. “I mean, we haven’t even been in the same room long enough for us to argue.

Roy didn’t even give a grunt of acknowledgement. Instead, he picked up his pace ever so slightly, hoping she’d take the hint. Instead, she sped up as well, walking entirely too close for his comfort. When her shoulder bumped into his, he swore his whole arm felt like it was on fire.

Two incredibly long minutes later, they arrived at Rebecca’s office, where their boss sat at her desk, looking, for the first time, happy to see the two of them together.

“My managers!” she greeted, gesturing for the pair to sit down across from her. “For once, no one is in trouble,” she assured them with a wink, as if she knew what they were thinking. “The exact opposite, in fact.”

Roy tilted his head, relieved he could focus his attention on Rebecca. “Everything alright?”

Rebecca nodded enthusiastically. “Everything is great.” She turned to the other coach. “You feel ready for your first match?”

There was that cocky grin. “Oh absolutely. Next Saturday, we make history. The first of many Whippet victories.” Her voice was so confident, so sure. It managed to be simultaneously infuriating and attractive.

“That’s my girl,” Rebecca chirped with a wink. She turned to Roy. “And you fellas?”

Roy cleared his throat and sat up. “Yeah, feeling good. Got Crystal Palace here at home, should go in our favor.”

Rebecca nodded. “Excellent. Should be a good opening weekend all around.” She twiddled her thumbs, clearly wondering how to pivot to whatever she wanted to talk to them about. “I don’t want to add to your workload,” she started slowly, clearly intent on adding to their workload. “But at the retreat, I was watching your teams play that silly little game after their practice time. The one-on-one scrimmages?”

“Oh, that was great.” The American turned to Roy. “We should try that here sometime.”

Not wanting Rebecca to see him ignore his fellow manager, he nodded with a small grunt. Apparently enough of an answer to satisfy both women, since Rebecca went on.

“It was fabulous to watch. Really reminded me how much talent we have here, on both sides.” Her smile began to grow, green eyes sparkling. “So, I sent Keeley a video and we began chatting about how fun it was to see both teams together like that…” She shrugged. “And we’ve decided to have a little exhibition match.”

Roy leaned forward. “An exhibition match?” he repeated incredulously.

Rebecca nodded. “We’ll split each team and half and combine them so it’s a mix of Greyhounds and Whippets. You’ll each manage one of the teams.” She glanced at her computer. “You’ve both got a weekend off in five weeks, so that’s when it’ll be.” She was beaming, that same proud smile she’d worn when she first told the Greyhounds about the women’s team. “And Keeley thought we could make it a charity event. Half the proceeds to my foundation for underprivileged children, the other half to a charity of the winning manager’s choosing.” Her eyes shifted between the two gaffers. “So?”

Roy wasn’t surprised when the Whippet’s coach broke out into a grin. “I think that’s incredible,” she gushed. “It’ll be a great opportunity for the community to see us as one team.” She glanced at Roy. “What d’you think, Kent?”

Her asking for his thoughts was surprising. “I think it’s fine,” he blurted out. “I mean, good. Good idea, Rebecca.”

That was exactly what she was hoping to hear. “Excellent! I’ll have Keeley and Higgins get right on advertising and tickets and just-” Her smile looked like it hurt, it was so wide. “This’ll be fun. So fun.” She cleared her throat, composing herself. “Right. You two just have to worry about creating the teams and choosing your charity, then.”

“The Women’s Sports Foundation.” Roy had never heard someone answer so quickly.

Rebecca nodded. “Of course,” she chuckled. “Roy, just let me know when you’ve picked-”

“BMA Charities,” Roy blurted out. Rebecca blinked at him. “I mean, I’ll probably check in with Beard and Nate, but…” He shrugged. “I like ‘em.”

Next to him came the sound of someone clearing their throat. “BMA?”

Reluctantly, Roy turned his head, his eyes finding hers as if by magnetic force. “British Medical Association,” he clarified, pretending he didn’t feel like there was an elephant on his chest. “They do shit for doctors and med students.”

“Oh.”

Why did Roy want more than “Oh”? Why did it matter what she thought of his charity?

And why, once they were dismissed from Rebecca’s office and had walked down the hall to head back to their respective trainings, did Roy wish they could’ve walked together just a little bit longer?

~

For nearly a week, my first Game Day outfit hung up in my bedroom. The entire week before was spent selecting each piece carefully. My most flattering jeans, Richmond-blue blouse, white blazer, and the white low-tops I’d bought especially for the occasion.

As I cuffed my jeans, I looked at myself in the mirror. Yes. Good. Professional, sporty, and- dare I say it?- pretty. My first few months in England had been a blur of soccer, soccer, and more soccer, which hadn’t left me any time for… extracurricular activities, as Lucas put it.

In fact, the closest I’d gotten to dating would have to be at the club when Roy Kent thought I was hitting on him. Yeuch. Maybe Lucas was right, maybe I should get on the apps or something.

I shook my head at my reflection with a groan. Seriously? The morning before my first game in England, and there I was thinking about dating? Good Lord, Gloria Steinem was going to revoke my feminist card if I didn’t focus.

Determined to keep my eye on the ball, so to speak, I finished getting ready, throwing my hair into a ponytail and saving my red lipstick for last. I had worn this bright red lipstick my first time coaching a professional game and had won 5-0; it had become my good luck charm after that. Never went to a game, or a press conference, or an interview without it.

“Look at you,” Lucas greeted when I opened my door, looking at me over the top of his sunglasses. “Soccer Coach Barbie.”

I gave a little twirl, laughing at my friend’s praise. “You feel like winning, Luke?”

We walked into Nelson Road with smiles on our faces and Whippet water bottles in our hands. There was an electric buzz in the halls, and I couldn’t help but notice the particularly bright smiles on the faces of the women who worked for A.F.C. and W.F.C. Richmond. The biggest smile was on Keeley’s face, which we saw as soon as we walked into our office.

“Big day!” Keeley squealed as she pulled me into a hug. “You excited?”

“Very,” I confirmed, giving her a squeeze before letting go.

Keeley stepped back and looked down at her phone. “So, we’ve got a bit of pomp and circumstance before the match. Introduce the team, and you, little speech from Rebecca.” She winked at me. “A few words from our fearless manager. Then we go out there and kick some ass!”

After Keeley’s little itinerary, the rest of the time before the match was a blur. Players strutted into the locker room, pride on their faces when they looked up and saw their names above their lockers- a change made to celebrate our first match. After today, they’d be changed to reflect both players who used the locker, but today the Greyhounds insisted on letting the Whippets have their moment to shine.

Lucas and I spent some time in our office, reviewing our starting lineup and plays we wanted to keep in our back pockets. I did my best to ignore the goosebumps that formed every time I looked at the clock and saw the time inch closer to game time, but I found myself beginning to bounce on my toes.

I almost confused the buzzing of my body for the buzzing from my phone.

My office please.

Normally, Rebecca’s texts made my heart freeze, but not today. Today was a good day. The best day. I practically skipped to her office, feeling weirdly aware of the feeling of my sneakers hitting the ground. My eyes travelled over the photos of the Greyhounds’ history, of the men- coaches, players, owners- who made A.F.C. Richmond what it was. And it dawned on me that we would someday be on that wall- me, Rebecca, Keeley, Lucas, the magnificent women who were now changing into their Whippets kits for the first time.

By the time I reached Rebecca’s door, tears were threatening to fall.

“You wanted to see me?”

It was the millionth smile I’d seen that morning, but it was easily my favorite. Rebecca looked as if she was about to explode at the sight of me, looking glamorous as ever in her dress and coat- a coat that I noticed bore a little W.F.C. Richmond pin.

“Are you ready?” came her whispered question as she approached me.

“More than ready,” I assured her, a tingle going through my whole body as she took my hands in hers.

She gave my hands a squeeze. “I just… needed to say thank you,” she said. “Thank you for taking such good care of this…” She blinked a few times, her eyes shiny with tears. “I feel as if my child is going for her first day of school, I’m just so proud. I love the Greyhounds, but this is the very first thing that has ever been mine. All mine.” She shook her head. “And I am so happy that you are our manager.”

“Oh, Rebecca-”

Rebecca released my hands in favor of pulling me into a hug. “We’re going to win,” she hummed. “We’re going to win the whole fucking thing.”

I carried Rebecca’s words with me back through the building as I returned to the locker room, where my team would be waiting for one more pep talk. People nodded and waved to me in the hall, each moment of acknowledgement adding just a bit more weight to my shoulders.

“Oi.”

Just outside the locker room, I turned around. Roy Kent was a few paces behind me, hands in the pockets of his Greyhounds jacket. He gave a nod as he walked up to me.

“Good luck out there.”

It was probably the kindest thing he’d said to me since we’d met. Maybe the second kindest, after our moment in the shed.

“Thanks,” I stammered out. “You getting ready for your match already or something?”

To my surprise, he shook his head. “Here for your match. Rebecca asked us to come, show solidarity or some shit.” He shrugged. “So, I just thought I’d wish you luck.” He paused, glancing at the wall beside us, one that held a photo of him in a Greyhounds kit, running on the pitch. “It’s kind of scary,” he mumbled. “Your first match as a manager.”

“I’ve managed a team before,” I reminded him, giving a little cough into my closed fist. “But, you know, new country and all. Still scary as hell.”

“Right. Right.” He gazed at me for a moment, his eyes locked onto mine. I wondered if the shiver I felt was from the air conditioning or the intensity of his stare. “Well. Go get ‘em. Or whatever.” With a small grunt, he turned and walked away. Before I went into the locker room, I turned to look at him again. At that same moment, he turned his head and glanced back at me. As soon as our eyes met, he whipped back around and picked up his pace.

Weird.

But I couldn’t focus on that. My concentration needed to be entirely on the game.

“Alright Whippets!” I called as I entered the locker room. “Are we ready?”

I had rehearsed this speech for weeks. In bed before I fell asleep, in front of the mirror as I brushed my hair, in the shower while I avoided getting shampoo in my mouth, even to Lucas on a couple of occasions. And now I stood in front of twenty-seven talented women, ready to hear it.

“Alright, here it is,” I started. “Our moment. You are the first women to call yourselves Whippets. Wear it proudly.” I took a deep breath. “Never forget why you’re here. Never forget that feeling you had the moment you fell in love with this sport, when you knew that nothing else would make you as happy as being out there on that field.” I saw some wistful smiles appear. My own mind wandered to that afternoon my grandfather had taken me out to the backyard, the afternoon I knew I wanted to play soccer forever. “Remember that little girl who fell in love with the feeling of the ball at her feet. And go out there and play for her. Because today, we’re going to help the little girls of Richmond fall in love too.” I stretched out my arm, watching my players follow suit until all of our hands were in the center of the locker room. “Let’s go show them how the Whippets do it.”

There were cheers of agreement as a lump formed in my throat. I nodded to Kira Malone. “Captain?”

“Whippets on three, Whippets on three! One, two, three!”

“Whippets!”

~

Roy sat in the owner’s box next to Keeley, fiddling with the case on his phone, needing to do something with the burst of energy he felt. It only grew when the Whippets were introduced and took their places lined up on the field, bouncing with excitement as their names were called. Roy, of course, clapped along with the rest of the crowd, determined to be supportive with everyone in the box watching him.

“And the manager of your W.F.C. Richmond Whippets-”

A buzzing began in Roy’s ears. He watched as she took her place beside her team, the smile on her face evident even from where he sat. She looked gorgeous. Strong, joyful, confident. The sight set his whole body aflame.

He tried to focus on Rebecca’s speech, he really did. He knew this was a big moment for his friend. But fuck, all his eyes wanted to look at was her. And, once Rebecca handed over the microphone, he didn’t have much of a choice.

“Hello Richmond!” she began, eliciting cheers from the crowd- a sold-out crowd, much to Keeley and Rebecca’s relief and excitement. “Thank you for making history with us today. We are so proud to be your W.F.C. Richmond Whippets.” She smiled, soaking up the roars that naturally followed the team’s name. “We just want to say thank you to our dear Rebecca Welton and Keeley Jones, our incredible foundresses.” She wrapped her arm around Rebecca. “They are truly the heart of this team. We’d also like to give a giant thank you to your Greyhounds.” Thunderous applause. “Coach Kent and the team have been great housemates and have helped us to really feel at home here at the Dog Track. Thank you, boys!”

Keeley nudged Roy, whose face was on fire at the sound of his name. “She’s a fucking natural, isn’t she?” Keeley gushed. “And doesn’t she look stunning?”

Roy grunted. He was having a hard time hearing anything but her speech. “And we want to take a moment to say thank you to all the parents that brought their daughters here today. They are why we’re out here.” She turned to her team, who were watching her with admiration on their faces. “Whippets, are you ready to show them what it means to play like a girl?”

The stadium was deafening as she handed over the microphone to someone before smiling for photos beside her team. He sat quietly through the rest of the opening ceremonies before the match began. He hadn’t realized it before, but the owner’s box had a perfect view of the dugout; he spent half the game with his eyes glued there, watching her shout to her team, pacing back and forth, effortlessly cool in her blazer and sneakers. He bit back a groan when her blazer came off, revealing perfectly tanned shoulders, kissed from all the time the former athlete had spent in the sun. He wondered what those arms would feel like wrapped around- fuck.

Roy Kent really needed to get ahold of himself.

“You alright, Roy?” Keeley looked at him with genuine concern. “Your face is all… blotchy and red. Are you having a fucking heart attack or something?”

Rebecca, who’d taken her seat just before the match began, leaned around Keeley, her eyes still half-glued to the pitch. “Roy’s having a heart attack?”

Roy rolled his eyes and slouched in his surprisingly comfortable seat. “’m not having a fucking heart attack,” he grumbled.

From in front of him, Coach Beard grunted. “Oh, your heart’s doing something, alright.”

“Fuck off,” Roy growled, forcing his eyes to return to the pitch, hating the way he couldn’t help looking at the dugout every few seconds.

“What’s this?” Keeley leaned forward with more interest than Roy knew what to do with. She studied him carefully, taking in the sight of his red cheeks and shifty eyes. “Oh! You’ve got a crush, haven’t you?”

“Fuck off,” Roy repeated, sagging down further.

Instead of doing as she was told, Keeley began surveying the pitch carefully. “Hmm. Wonder who it could be… Amanda Camacho’s quite pretty… Samara Scott’s fit…” She stopped turning her eyes carefully to Roy, who was staring straight ahead, refusing to let his eyes land anywhere incriminating. “Unless…”

“Unless?” Rebecca repeated; the woman should have been holding popcorn in her hands, she was so invested.

“It’s not a player, is it, Roy?” Keeley leered at Roy. “Maybe it’s a coach?” She nudged him. “And I don’t think Lucas is quite your type.”

Roy knew his bright red ears were a dead giveaway, but if he couldn’t admit it to himself, he sure as hell wasn’t admitting anything to Keeley Jones, ogling at him with those fucking eyes of hers. “Keeley, I’m getting real fucking annoyed,” he warned her. “I was basically ordered to come to this game, I’ve got my own season opener tonight, so I don’t need you acting like we’re fucking thirteen making up imaginary crushes and shit, alright?”

Keeley’s squeaky little hmmph told him that while she wouldn’t keep pushing him right now, this conversation was far from over.

~

The shriek of the whistle had me throwing my arms around Lucas and squeezing him tight. A 3-1 win was a pretty great way to announce W.F.C. Richmond’s arrival to the league. A blur of hugs and handshakes eventually carried me inside, where I passed a few players starting to do short interviews, their faces glowing with sweat and pride.

“Any chance The Richmond Star could get an exclusive with the winning manager?” George Willows smiled at me, one of those charming move-star smiles, the kind that a girl couldn’t help but feel grateful to receive.

“You could always show up for the press conference,” I teased, gesturing down the hall. “I promise to call on you for a question. Bet I could even get you a front-row seat.”

His smile turned awkward. “Oh, I’m not allowed in there,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his head in an attractively self-effacing way. “Your Greyhound counterpart got me completely banned from the Richmond press room.” He leaned in close, as if sharing a deep, dark secret. “He once threw a chair at me during a press conference. Since then, I’m not allowed to cover the Greyhounds or go in the press room.”

My mouth fell open at this piece of information. “That’s insane,” I hissed. “He throws a chair, and you get banned?”

George shrugged, clearly used to it. “Can’t exactly ban a manager from his own press room, eh?”

“Well, if you stick around,” I started slowly, stretching out my flirting muscles that were dreadfully underused, “I can fill you in on whatever you miss. Give you that exclusive.”

“Oi.”

Of course. Of course the moment I flirted with a guy, Roy Kent was there to interrupt, with his stupid beard and deep frown and eyes that lingered a moment too long on my face. “What?” I groaned, knowing I sounded like a petulant teenager caught kissing a boy on her front porch.

His frown deepened; if he was any other man, I’d marvel at how it did nothing to take away from his handsomeness. “Keeley’s asking for you. Says they’re ready for you in the press room.” His eyes narrowed in George’s direction. “Same rules, apply, Willows. Stay the fuck out.”

I offered George an apologetic smile. “Think we could stake a raincheck on that exclusive?”

“I’ll text you,” he promised with a wink.

There was a definite blush on my face as I turned to follow Roy to the press room. “Surprised you stuck around,” I mused as we fell into step together. “Thought you’d be long gone by now, get some rest before your game.”

“Wanted to offer my congratulations,” he mumbled. “To Rebecca,” he quickly added. “And the team. And Lucas.” His eyes flashed to my face for a brief moment. “And you.”

“Well, thanks,” I huffed as we arrived at the press room. “Meant a lot having you fellas here.” I kicked the ground, making a mental note to clean my shoes when I got home. “Hope you all win your game tonight,” I added as we stopped in front of the press room.

“Will you be there?”

Those were the last words I expected to come out of Roy Kent’s mouth. It reminded me of when my high school crush invited me to his baseball game, right down to the fidgeting and the question marks in Roy’s eyes.

Ignoring the way it made me feel, I nodded. “Uh, yeah, yeah I’ll come.” Rebecca had offered me a ticket, but said she understood if I wanted to be out celebrating. But if the Greyhounds came to my game, I should definitely go to theirs. Right? “Better get in there.” I jerked my head towards the closed press room door.

Roy shrugged, his eyes almost playful. “They’ll wait for you.”

I let out a small chuckle, unable to believe that we were having a civil conversation. “I’ll see you later, Kent.”

“See you, Coach.”

~

Sundays were for Phoebe. Roy would pick her up and take her to breakfast, letting her gorge herself on chocolate chip pancakes, then let her pick something to do together. Sometimes it was going to some Disney movie at the theatre, sometimes a museum, sometimes a trip to the toy shop, once in a while a beach excursion. Today, she simply wanted to go to the park for a picnic.

Of course, Roy obliged his niece. He packed up some sandwiches and snacks, rolled out a blanket, and brought a football and some cones. He might spoil the girl, but he was still her coach. Once they’d devoured their lunch and sat around for a bit, he pulled her to her feet and began kicking around the ball with her.

Being eight years old, her aim wasn’t always perfect. So, Roy really shouldn’t have been too surprised when she gave a wonky kick that sent the ball flying out of their play area.

“You kicked it, you get it!” Roy called, nodding in the direction the ball flew in.

Phoebe obediently jogged off, always eager to do what her uncle asked. Roy perked up when he heard her little voice, high-pitched with excitement.

“Oh! Do you play for the Whippets? My uncle Roy coaches the Greyhounds!”

He turned around and saw, to his great astonishment, Phoebe gazing up at a familiar pretty face.

The eyes Roy kept telling himself not to think about snapped up in his direction before looking back at Phoebe. “Um, yeah, I know your uncle Roy. I actually coach the Whippets.” She rolled the ball between her hands.

Roy walked over, watching Phoebe’s face light up.  She gasped with joy. “You’re Coach Buck! My mum told me about you. You have an Olympic Gold Medal!”

That fucking medal.

She gave an awkward little laugh and tossed the ball back to Phoebe. “That would be me. Do you play…” She offered Roy a small smirk before looking back at Phoebe. “… football?”

“I do! My uncle Roy coaches my team at school. He’s very good.”

“I’m sure he is.”

Feeling his face warm at the praise, Roy tapped Phoebe on the shoulder. “Oi, Pheebs, why don’t you go set up the cones? Do some dribbling?”

Phoebe stuck her little hand out, her politeness reminding Roy of how mature she was becoming. “I’m Phoebe, by the way. It was nice to meet you, Coach Buck.”

“Very nice to meet you too, Phoebe.” She shook the girl’s hand firmly. “We’ll have to get you and your mum out to a Whippets’ game sometime, alright?” The wink she gave Phoebe had Roy holding his breath.

“Yes!”

Roy cleared his throat. “Pheebs, the cones?”

Phoebe scurried off to do as she was told. Both adults watched her for a moment before turning back to each other, exchanging awkward half-smiles.

“You coach her school team?”

Roy shrugged. “They’re good girls. Decent players, too. And they listen a hell of a lot better than the pricks at Richmond.”

She nodded, studying Roy carefully. “So, you don’t hate women’s soccer. It’s just me.”

“I don’t hate you.” She shot him a skeptical look that he couldn’t help chuckling at. “Alright fine, I fucking hate you.”

Her laugh would echo through his head for the rest of the afternoon. “Don’t worry, I hate you too.”

They both stood there, grinning and hating each other, both kind of wishing literally anyone from Nelson Road was there to witness their civility. Hell, someone might even mistake it for friendliness. Some idiots might go so far as to get it mixed up with flirting.

“So that’s your niece.”

“That’s my niece,” Roy confirmed, following her gaze to Phoebe, who had finished setting up the cones the way he’d taught her and was starting to dribble between then.

“The one that draws the…”

Roy chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, the one that draws the…” He mirrored the way she trailed off.

Her smile grew soft as she watched Phoebe. “She’s cute.”

“She’s a fucking idiot,” Roy scoffed. “But she’s my fucking idiot, I guess.”

A small hmmph escaped her lips as she tilted her head thoughtfully. “You know, for the exhibition game, Keeley and I were talking about having kids escort the players out to the field. Thought it’d be nice to have it evenly split, boys and girls.”

“Because we don’t have enough girls walking out with the Greyhounds?” His defensiveness was almost a reflex at this point. “Because honestly, we do our best, we just get a lot more boys interested, alright?”

For once, she didn’t take the bait for an argument. “Actually, I was wondering if Picasso there would be interested in being one of our kids.”

Roy blinked, feeling like an idiot for his reaction. “Oh. Yeah, I think she’d like that. Just need to ask my sister.”

“She can even hang out in the dugout during the game.” Her voice was light, friendly. “Let her see a woman coaching a team. It’s important for girls to see that kind of thing, you know? Why d’you think I keep Brandi in my office? Even if your niece isn’t interested in soccer as a career, any little girl would benefit from seeing women doing ‘men’s work’.”

“Yeah. Yeah, that would be nice, thanks.” Roy paused, kicking a rock with the toe of his sneaker. “My sister’s a doctor, by the way.”

“Oh.” She looked directly at Roy now, thoughtfulness coloring her expression. “She’s why you picked your charity. The med student one.”

Roy nodded. “Exactly.” He hesitated but decided to continue. “She’s a single mum. Things aren’t always easy. She’s stubborn as hell and refuses my help outside of babysitting. She’s, er, had to rely on BMA for help once or twice.” He stared at her for a moment. “I get the strong, independent woman thing. I respect it.”

He didn’t think he’d ever get used to the sight of her soft smile. “You must be proud of her.”

“I am,” Roy confirmed. “And of Pheobe too. She’s a strong kid.”

There was a comfortable silence as they watched Phoebe continue her drill, her blonde hair flying in her face, not deterring her tiny focus. Roy found that he really liked the way Coach Buck looked at his niece; there was a fondness there that made his chest feel warmer than it had in a long time.

“She’s why I love my job,” she finally murmured. “Girls like her. I was so lucky to grow up with heroes that made me believe that seeing my name on the back of a jersey and being an Olympian was something I could realistically aspire to. And all I wanted was to be the same for other little girls. My dream was that someday, some little girl would have my poster on her wall.”

Roy knew that feeling. “Be her Brandi Chastain,” he murmured before he had the chance to even think.

She looked surprised, almost impressed, her mouth forming a perfect O when she realized he’d remembered that name. The grin that grew on her lips was slow and gorgeous. “Be her Brandi Chastain,” she repeated softly.

Roy thought they’d get to share another moment of just looking at each other, wondering how else to fill the silence, when her eyes suddenly widened. She whipped out her phone and took a look at it.

“Shit,” she hissed. “I’m late.”

“Late?”

Her eyes suddenly became shifty as she avoided Roy’s gaze. “Got an interview about yesterday’s match,” she murmured.

George fucking Willows. “Oh. Right.” Roy cleared his throat, retreating back into himself. “Better get going, then.”

“I’ll see you at work tomorrow?” She took a step backwards, away from Roy, away from their conversation and whatever moment they were having.

Roy knew he was offering up a grimace rather than a grin. “Yeah. Tomorrow.”

~

The next few weeks were… peaceful. Probably the most peaceful I’d had since starting at Richmond. I wouldn’t say Roy Kent was friendly to me, but we weren’t screaming at each other, and he wasn’t pointedly ignoring me the way he had after the retreat either. He was even running silently on the treadmill next to me again. We were finally just coexisting. And I kind of liked it.

“How’s this?”

A paper was shoved in front of me on my desk, interrupting the email I was writing. I looked up and saw Roy looking at me expectantly. When I looked down, I realized it was a pair of rosters, with our teams divided up and combined.

“Oh.” I blinked. “You picked the teams already?”

“Had Isaac and Kira do it,” he corrected me. “Wanted to see what the captains thought before we did it ourselves.” He shrugged. “Did a fucking good job in my opinion. I’m okay with their picks if you are.”

I took a moment to read through the rosters; he was right. “Well, it saves us the work,” I chuckled, handing the paper back to Roy. “They’re split evenly enough to make things fair. My team’s still going to kick your ass though,” I teased.

He raised one of those thick eyebrows at me. “Care to make a wager?” he challenged.

“I mean, there’s already the whole thing with our charities,” I reminded him, twirling the pen in my hands between my fingers. “But what’d you have in mind?”

He thought for a moment. “Winner gets to pick someone for the loser to dance with at the gala.”

Rebecca’s charity gala. It was just a few weeks away, and already it was all everyone could talk about. Both teams were buzzing with gossip about outfits and dates; a couple of Greyhounds had even asked a couple of Whippets to attend with them, much to everyone’s amusement and nerves. My favorite rumor I’d heard was that one of my goalkeepers was bringing Timothee Chalamet as her date.

“Fine.” I stuck out my hand to Roy. “It’s a bet.”

His eyes froze on my hand for a moment before he took it, giving it a firm shake. “Right,” he muttered, letting go quickly. “Got to head to the pitch. Just wanted to run the teams by you.” He gave an awkward little salute. “See you around.”

He was gone before I could even say “see you”.

The morning of the exhibition game, I found myself leaning back in my chair and staring up at Brandi Chastain, thinking about how crazy it was that I, an American who had won the World Cup and had an Olympic Gold Medal, was in England, the head coach of a professional women’s team. And it was because of Brandi Chastain, and Mia Hamm, and Kristine Lilly, and so many other names that were etched into my very soul. I wondered if somewhere out there was a little girl who felt the same about me.

“Hi, Coach Buck!”

I turned around and felt my mouth immediately turn into a grin. “Well, hello, Phoebe.” The woman behind her was looking at me with interest as I shot out of my chair and strolled over. “You must be her mom.” I stuck my hand out. “I’m-”

“Oh, I know exactly who you are,” she said with a laugh, shaking my hand warmly. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Oh.” My eyes flickered to Roy, who had appeared behind the duo.

His sister cleared her throat. “You know, from the news. Seen you on the telly, read a few articles, saw a couple of TikToks.”

I forced a smile, scolding myself for thinking Roy Kent talked about me at home. “Oh, wow, I’m on TikTok? Biggest accomplishment of my life right there.” I turned to Phoebe, who was wearing a Whippets jersey. “I hear you’re joining me on the pitch today.”

Phoebe nodded enthusiastically. “Uncle Roy said I get to hang out with you the whole game.”

“That’s right,” I confirmed. “Here, you can hang onto this for me.” I grabbed my clipboard from my desk and handed it to her. “It’s got my lineup and notes. Very important. Think you can manage?”

“Yes!”

I reached out and ruffled her hair. “Excellent. Just don’t let your uncle Roy see it, alright?” I shot her a wink before I turned back to the adults. “Your brother got you good seats, I hope?” I teased Roy’s sister.

“Owner’s box, believe it or not.” She raised her eyebrows. “In fact, I’m heading up there now to take advantage of the free booze and snacks.” She turned to Roy. “Can I leave Phee with you?” When her brother grunted and shrugged, she knelt down and began to say goodbye to Phoebe, offering last-minute reminders about behavior and listening to adults.

As mother and daughter spoke, I took a step closer to Roy. “Ready to lose?”

He snorted, an almost friendly sound. “Nope. Yourself?”

“Nope.”

By the time we were on the pitch, Phoebe was my new little best friend. She proudly stood by my side as we lined up, with Rebecca reminding the crowd that each team was playing for charity- my team for the Women’s Sports Foundation, Roy’s for BMA Charities. He and I exchanged curt nods as we turned to our dugouts, all business as the match got underway.

Phoebe clutched my clipboard to her chest and stuck to my side the entire match. I had expected her to want to sit and relax at some point, but instead she was my second shadow, mimicking the way I paced, watching me even more than the game. It was the most flattered I’d ever felt in my life.

I snuck a few glances over to the other dugout, amused at the opportunity to watch Roy Kent coach up close and in person. He was loud- unsurprisingly- and passionate. What was a bit more surprising was the compassion he carried, the way he shouted support to his players (and mine) throughout the game.

And his Greyhounds parka looked pretty good on him.

Shaking my head as I caught myself staring for the umpteenth time, I turned my attention back to the game, feeling thankful to have Jamie Tartt on my team. He’d scored two goals already, and we were all tied up. No one had brought up the idea of what to do in the case of a draw, but I didn’t want to think about that; I wanted the win. And, with less than two minutes left in stoppage time, Kira passed the ball to Jamie, who breezed by one of the Greyhound defenders to come face to face with one of my goalkeepers.

“Let’s go Jamie!” I heard Lucas shout beside me.

When the ball hit the back of the net, I threw my arms in the air.  We were close, so close to the end of the game. After the kickoff, there were only a few touches before the referee blew her whistle.

“Yes!” I yelled, bumping fists and hips with Lucas. I turned and high-fived Phoebe. “Great job, Coach Pheebs.”

She beamed at me. “Thank you! That was so much fun!”

Both teams lined up on the field, exchanging hugs and high-fives as we all waited for Rebecca to come onto the pitch to announce the donation. She was absolutely glowing as she stood on the field, flanked by Roy and myself.

“What a game!” she began. “Thank you to our players for giving it their all, and of course our wonderful managers for leading these impressive teams.”

Roy stepped out in front of Rebecca and offered his hand. Shooting him a grin, I reached out and shook it firmly, keenly aware of the shuttering of cameras going off the moment our hands touched.

Rebecca went on. “Thank you all for joining us today. The proceeds from our tickets, as well as the generous donations from our sponsors and so many of you, will be going to two wonderful charities. The first is the Welton Foundation, which benefits underprivileged children in our community. The second-”

Without thinking about what I was about to do, I tapped Rebecca’s shoulder. She shot me a confused look but leaned in close. “I’d like to share it.”

“What?”

My eyes shot to Roy, who was staring at me with perplexed eyes. “The money. Split it between the Sports Foundation and BMA.”

Rebecca’s face turned soft. “Lovely,” she murmured, giving me a proud nod of approval. She returned to the microphone. “We have a slight change of plan. Our winning team has chosen to split their donation. So, all the proceeds from today’s match will go to the Welton Foundation, the Women’s Sports Foundation, and BMA charities.”

Roy Kent broke out into a full, true smile as he looked at me. “Thank you,” he mouthed.

All I could do was shrug in response, ignoring the heat on my cheeks when I saw the way his eyes lingered on me long after the cheering had died down. When I did finally turn away, Lucas was giving me his smarmiest grin.

“Oh, shut up,” I hissed as we made our way back towards the locker rooms, ignoring the now-familiar feeling that someone was staring at me.

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A Lesson From Owl House That Gets Overlooked

So, I don't know if you know this, but I used to have a tendency of bottling things up. I was scared of people being angry and upset with me, so I pushed everything way down and tried to not let things get to me. And the things I've been through are horrific at the kindest appraisal. I think you know why I'm bringing this up... So let's not waste time and just talk about the two most self-conscious characters in the series; Luz and Willow.

I don't know if you noticed this through the series, but Luz internalizes EVERYTHING. Even before Hollow Mind and the whole "I accidentally helped a genocidal maniac carry out his wicked plan" thing, Luz was quietly baring the burden of grief and trauma. We don't know the full scope of the bullying she endured, it was probably hellish and certainly isolated her. Not only that, but she was carrying the pain of losing her father, which she also internalized.

Because of this, along with the bullying and the lack of support from adults in her life (save for Camila,) Luz doesn't really have a great support system until she meets Eda and King. And even then, it took Willow, Gus, and especially Amity for her to really open up about things.

Meanwhile, Willow was browbeaten by virtually everyone in her life. Amity, Boscha, teachers, everyone looked down on her, calling her 'Half-a-Witch,' forced into learning Abomination magic by her dads instead of the Plant magic she excels at. And of course, instead of that pain manifesting as grief and misery, Willow's internalization of her emotions turns to anger, frustration, and self-loathing as we see the first time we meet her.

Of course, she befriends Gus and Luz and things start to get better, but they depend on her strength and wisdom too much, which allows her to mask her feelings in favor of helping and supporting her friends. We see that it doesn't help that much, especially after Amity once again hurts her by accidentally burning all of her memories.

Granted, things worked out between them, but Amity (subconsciously, as she was genuinely concerned and cared about Willow) was looking down on her much later. And yes, Willow gets to be in the Plant track and becomes the Flier Derby captain of her dreams. However she's still hard on herself, still keeping herself from letting things out... Oh, did you guys not notice that in For the Future? Because Boscha was egging her on and antagonizing her in a moment of weakness, Willow was going to probably hurt or even kill her bully out of sheer anger.

Yeah, if that scene played out any further and she wasn't rendered unconscious by sleeping nettles, Willow was going to do something incredibly bad. I think Elijah (not-so-average-fangirl) saw that too, which is why she said "Willow, are you ok?" during that scene. I know from personal experience that Willow was at her absolute breaking point and when you realize that, it's terrifying. She was going to let out her anger violently on someone who deserved it, but not to the extent that she was clearly going to go with it. It's also why Willow does indeed breakdown after that. She can no longer control her emotions, especially after seeing her dad puppeted and the guy she clearly had feelings for die in her arms...

Of course, we know how both Luz's breakdown in Reaching Out and Willow's breakdown in For the Future resolve. They both talk about it or let out their emotions, and they do so in front of the people that matter the most to them.

For Luz, she tells Amity about her dad. She cries over it in front of her and they resolve their first real fight since going out. Then, they both make flowers and cast them off over the Boiling Sea, continuing the tradition of Luz and her mom without being in the Human Realm. Amity's also the one that tries to comfort Luz the most after learning about Belos, because even if our hero isn't feeling great about what happened, she still someone who truly loves and supports her.

For Willow, it was a need for someone who doesn't rely on her telling her that it was ok to let it out. Someone who could stop her and beg her to never call herself 'Half-a-Witch' again. Someone who truly understood all the pain she was going through and was willing to both support her and let her vent. Now who could that be...?

Of course, Gus did obviously help in that scene, but Willow needed to hear it from Hunter. She needed someone who has only ever seen her as strong who didn't depend on her for support to just say 'you've been holding in a lot, haven't you?' Granted, I won't say you need romantic love to let your feelings and pain out to, but I am saying that a strong enough and supportive enough person can help with that. That's why Gus being there in the Willow breakdown was important. That's why all of Luz's friends telling her that helping Belos wasn't her fault was important. The most important thing about bottling emotions is to have someone there to talk to, be it friend, family, lover, or therapist.

[wushigod]

The Harry Potter actor pays tribute to his “favourite human”, who died on 24 March, saying: “I miss her hugs.” “Her passing has left a huge hole in our lives as a family,” he added. Mrs Davis was also an actor, appearing alongside her husband in the final Harry Potter film in 2010, in which she played a goblin. The couple, who lived near Peterborough, met on the set of the film Willow in 1988, before marrying three years later. The Star Wars star described Sammy, as he called her, as his “most trusted confidante and an ardent supporter of everything I did in my career”. She was a unique character, always seeing the sunny side of life she had a wicked sense of humour and always laughed at my bad jokes,” he said. Davis said that with his wife by his side, he felt sure he could achieve anything, adding: “It was like having a super-power.” “Without Sammy, there would have been no Tenable quiz show, no Willow series. No Idiot Abroad Series 3.” He added it had been his wife who persuaded comedian Ricky Gervais to send him with Karl Pilkington for the travel series. The couple’s children, Harrison and Annabelle, joined their father in paying tribute, saying “her love and happiness carried us through our whole lives”. “Mum is our best friend and we’re honoured to have received a love like hers,” they added. Davis played both Professor Flitwick and the goblin Griphook in all eight films in the Harry Potter franchise. He also played several characters in the Star Wars film series, and starred in both the Willow film and the 2022 sequel. His wife’s other acting credits include the children’s series Through the Dragon’s Eye (1989). Outside of acting, Samantha Davis and her husband founded the charity Little People UK in 2012 to help individuals with dwarfism and their families. “She was passionate about helping people, without judgement. She had time for everyone and a genuine listening ear,” the Tenable host said. Davis said in recent years his wife’s mobility had become impaired but she was “determined that it would not impact her quality of life”. Disney, the network the Willow series was on, said Samantha was “beloved member of the UK film and TV community”, adding: “Our thoughts are with the Davis family during this difficult time”.

[princesssarisa]

The latest series of stories I've read in Cinderella Tales From Around the World are from Eastern and Central Europe: Belarus, Ukraine, Poland, the Czech Republic, and Hungary.

*In several Eastern European versions, the Virgin Mary is the girl's helper who gives her finery. She appears either from a well or from inside an oak tree or a fir tree.

*In most of these variants, the heroine goes to church. Only a very few have a ball instead.

*Several also have the stepmother give the heroine a task similar to the Grimms' lentils in the ashes – typically poppy or millet seeds to sort either from the ashes or from sand, or bushels of wheat to clean – and birds help her. Also recalling the Grimms' version (and many others, of course), the third time the heroine flees, the prince usually has the church or palace steps smeared with tar or wax, causing her to lose her shoe.

*In the one Ukrainian version, the heroine has a cow who magically finishes the impossible amount of spinning and weaving the stepmother demands she do every day. Of course the stepmother eventually has the cow killed, but in its entrails the girl finds a grain of corn, which she plants, and it grows into a willow tree. From then on, when she wants finery for church, the tree opens and ladies come out to dress her. In this version, she also loses both of her golden shoes rather than just one in the tar on the church steps.

*Two Hungarian versions, The Three Princesses and Popelusa, and one unnamed Polish version are all near-identical to Finette Cendron. Three daughters of a deposed king are abandoned in the forest, they find an ogre couple's castle, the youngest outwits the ogres and slays them, but then her ungrateful sisters treat her like a servant, etc. Since Madame d'Aulnoy's tale is a literary story, could this be a sign of French influence in Eastern and Central European culture?

*Another Polish version, The Princess with the Pigskin Cloak, combines Cinderella with themes from Snow White. A wicked queen has a magic mirror, which tells her that her stepdaughter is more beautiful than she is. So she orders her servants to kill the princess and bring back her heart, but they let her go and bring back a dog's heart instead. The princess dresses herself in pigskin and finds work as a swineherd, but she knows a certain hollow oak tree that's sacred to the Virgin Mary, and when she goes inside it, she finds a room where she receives finery for church. She finally loses a shoe, is found by the prince and marries him, and the queen dies of rage and grief when her magic mirror tells her the news.

*Several of these versions have the heroine run away from her stepfamily, but unlike most others that use this device, they don't have her work as a servant at the prince's palace, but just find farm work somewhere nearby, a la Perrault's Donkeyskin.

*This brings me to an issue that's appeared in many versions so far, but which I didn't bother to discuss until now. I suppose now is as good a time as any, because it's a theme that appears in many of these Eastern and Central European tales. In so many versions of Donkeyskin/All-Kinds-of-Fur, or any Cinderella story where the heroine leaves her home and finds work as a lowly servant at the royal palace or elsewhere, the prince tends to repeatedly meet her in her rags or animal skins, and he mistreats her. In the versions where she works at the palace, when she takes off his boots or brings him bath water, a towel, and a comb, he throws them at her. Or in versions where she works elsewhere, she meets him on the road, he drops things and she hands them back to him, but instead of thanking her, he hits her with them. Then at the ball or at church, when she's in her beautiful gowns and he's smitten with her, he asks her where she came from, and she replies with allusions to his earlier rudeness, which he fails to understand.

**This is obviously uncomfortable by modern standards. I suppose to the original audiences, it was funny, ironic social commentary: the prince pines over the "mystery princess" with no idea that she's really the scraggly kitchen maid he treats like dirt, and he's clueless when she alludes to her identity. But does it bode well for "happily ever after" when she marries a man who treated her badly? I think this goes to show that in traditional oral fairy tales, there tends to be less emphasis on finding "true love" than on simply escaping from bad situations and achieving safety, comfort, and preferably wealth and high status. It doesn't matter that the prince is a bit of a jerk, what matters is that he makes the girl a princess in the end. Still, when you want her to marry a worthy man and believe he'll make her happy, it's uncomfortable. Different adaptations obviously find different ways to handle it. For example, Grimm's Fairy Tale Classics' "The Coat of Many Colors" avoids all this and has the prince always be kind to Aleia, while "Sapsorrow" from Jim Henson's the Storyteller keeps his rudeness but gives him a small redemption arc, first by finally sharing a sympathetic conversation with "the Straggletag," then by agreeing to marry her when the slipper fits her before he learns her identity.

**Maybe this tradition partly explains why the prince in the classic movie Three Wishes for Cinderella is slightly bratty and rude at first. I know that @thealmightyemprex found that choice off-putting when he reviewed the movie, and I have mixed feelings about it too, but maybe it stems from the fact that in Europe's oral Cinderella stories, bratty princes are surprisingly common.

Speaking of which...

*This book includes the two Cinderella stories from the Czech-Austrian writer Božena Němcová's collection that inspired Three Wishes for Cinderella. One is called The Three Sisters, the other O Popelusce ("Of Cinderella").

**They both follow the same formula. The heroine's kind father (whom the movie replaces with a surrogate-father manservant) sets out on a journey, and his daughter asks him to bring her the first thing that knocks against his head. This turns out to be the branch of a nut tree, containing three nuts, which produce beautiful dresses and shoes that she wears to church three times.

*Each version is slightly different, though, and both are slightly different from the 1973 movie. In The Three Sisters, the heroine Anuska is abused by her own mother and sisters, while in O Popelusce she has a stepmother and stepsisters. Meanwhile, the movie uses a stepmother and just one stepsister. In both stories, the (step)mother cuts the sisters' feet to make the slipper fit, with the movie replaces with their stealing Cinderella's clothes to pass Dora off as her. As I said, both stories have the heroine go to church, while the movie draws on the Western European Cinderella tradition and has a ball, and unsurprisingly, neither the movie Cinderella's sassy tomboy personality nor her dressing as a boy to join a royal hunt can be found in Němcová's original tales.

*Still, it's clear that in some ways the movie draws strongly on Němcová's texts. In The Three Sisters, the second sister's name is Dorotka, which must explain why the one stepsister in the movie is named Dora. And Anuska's first church dress is rose colored with silver trim, just like the movie Cinderella's ball dress

**From now on, in Three Wishes for Cinderella, I think I'll imagine "Anuska" as Cinderella's real name, as it is in The Three Sisters. It's a Czech equivalent of "Annie," and she's definitely a spunky Little Orphan Annie type of character in the movie!

*There's also a Hungarian version that's almost identical to Němcová's, with three dress-producing walnuts. But it has a completely different ending. The heroine doesn't lose a shoe. Instead the prince's servant follows her as far as her house, then puts a golden rose on the gatepost to mark it. Meanwhile, her loving father can't bear to let her be abused anymore and takes her to live with a childless widow in the forest – she's still poor and still has to work, but she's better off than with her stepfamily. When the prince comes to the family's house to look for her, only her stepsisters are there, but then the golden rose magically rises up and floats through the air to the forest cottage, and there she is. But then, in a different (and sadly racist) twist on the common "false bride replaces Cinderella" plot line, a Romani woman pushes the heroine into a lake, steals her magic walnuts, and dresses in her clothes to trick the prince. But the heroine survives by turning into a golden duck, then resumes her true form and finds work as a servant near the palace. But one day, the prince brings his new bride out in public and urges her to tell everyone the story of her life. The Romani woman fabricates a story, but then the real Cinderella speaks up and reveals the truth, and the prince instantly recognizes his true bride. He has the Romani woman executed, the stepmother jailed, and the stepsisters' hair cut off, while the father marries the widow from the forest in a double wedding with his daughter and the prince.

@adarkrainbow, @ariel-seagull-wings, @themousefromfantasyland

[oveliagirlhaditright]

Well, I finished the Wicked Willow series.

And I really, really enjoyed it. I don't really know how to rank it amongst the other Buffyverse tie-in books, however. Because right out of the gate, a large part of me would probably say that this is some of the best that they have to offer. But I don't really know if that's really fair, since this is an AU series. I don't know. It's sometimes hard to pit things against each other and rank them. But nonetheless, this series is well worth it and something I'd definitely recommend, I think. Especially for anyone who maybe loves Buffyverse AU ideas, or wanted more of Dark Willow or anything like that.

However, about the third book... and SPOILERS from here on out.

I don't think I'm a fan of it ending exactly the way that S6 did. I think I get what the author was going for with it: that when it finally became clear to Willow that she couldn't resurrect Tara (that was what she was determined to find some way to do this entire series, and what was the first step that made it an alternate universe), that then led to Willow wanting to destroy the world--ala canon--and then everything else falling into place that exact same way.

But I don't know. I just don't think it works. I feel Willow had gone way too far here for them to forgive and forget, like they did in S6 (and I was already starting to think that that with the second book, but then the third one made things way worse).

She fucking had a demon eating Giles, Xander, and Dawn alive! For days! For a minor offense! (And those parts... oh boy. Maybe I'm just green. But I actually wasn't expecting this series to go that dark, and those segments made me really squeamish. And we have quite a few scenes of it. And I could definitely see quite a few people having major issues with that whole thing: like needing Trigger Warnings because of it, maybe not being able to read or finish the book because of it, etc.

And, yes: Willow saved them in the end and even healed them, but not because she wanted to or even remotely felt bad about it: just because it was part of the deal to get Tara's spirit back and then because Tara asked her to.

And this was even the "last straw" with everyone when it came to Willow, where suddenly they realized she really would seriously hurt and/or kill them--almost had!--and they could just forgive and forget, and sweep her actions under the rug, like they'd wanted to, and that she needed to be stopped... and then that almost gets retconned with the ending.

I also wasn't big on Oz and Spike just suddenly disappearing, with absolutely no explanation (the book literally says that they disappeared, and no one knows where they went), just so the ending can literally be exactly season six, where they weren't there. That just feels like such a waste. I really felt like they were building to something with them--and damnit, these two deserved a confrontation with Willow, at the very least, after what she did to them for a very long time: keeping them chained up as her pets. Oz perpetually in his wolf form, which she knew he would hate and Spike after he's insane in getting his soul back--but in this last book, they really just feel like an afterthought, after they're finally freed (it almost seems like they were only pets at all, just to show how evil/threatening Willow was and also show that she was lonely). It's a shame.

If nothing else, I love the god that Willow summoned to bring Tara back for her not doing that, and then beating the crap out of her--almost similarly to what she did to Giles, Xander, and Dawn, and pointing that out--and telling her how selfish she is, and that she was nothing compared to the heroine that she was comparing herself to (that had brought her lover back in this way). Oh, and that she'd unknowingly bound the Ghost of Tara to herself, when the Ghost of Tara longed for eternity (very similarly to how she'd ripped Buffy out of heaven), and she couldn't even see that in her short-sightedness. Classic. (This whole thing reminded me of Valentine, at the end of the Mortal Instruments series, summoning an Angel, thinking it'll do his bidding and say he was right all along... only for the Angel to strike him down and say he disgusts him... pretty much what happens here. Actually, the god also says that Willow disgusts him).

I should also be clear that I love Willow Rosenberg normally. But not in this series. She's the worst here. And I know that's the point... except they still tried to redeem her at the end, but I just don't think it works in this AU, where they made Dark Willow way, way worse than S6 canon.

Yeah...

Edit: And I know that Willow's grieving, but that still doesn't excuse it!

Edit 2: At the very least, I feel like she should have gone to prison like Faith did, since I think she'd definitely done worse than Faith at this point. Hell, Angelus too, I think. Though some of this may be up for debate. I definitely think she actually beat them both out (talking S2 Angelus here, btw), but maybe someone else has read these books and feels differently, and that would be fair.

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Wednesday, July 31

WILLOW: Oh, hey, I have a name on my jacket. (takes off jacket to look) Harris. XANDER: Harris? That's my last name. Maybe I have a brother and you go out with him. (Willow looking uncertain) Or maybe you go out with me. WILLOW: Well, we did wake up all snuggly-wuggly. (walks closer to him) Maybe you're my boyfriend. XANDER: Either that, or I got one pissed-off brother out there somewhere. (both smile)

~~Tabula Rasa~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

BtVS Triple Drabble: Special Guest by badly_knitted (Angel, Drusilla, PG)

experiments (of varying degrees of success) by eagle_eyes (Angel/Cordelia, M)

The Secrets We Keep by BlueZeroZeroOne (Willow/Tara, Buffy/Tara, T)

Ain't No Rest for the Wicked by MadeInGold (Buffy/Maggie Walsh, E)

Endgame by MadeInGold (Buffy/Riley, G)

Tears of Faith by Willow25 (Buffy/Spike, E)

Milestone Birthday by Kittenwritings (Fred/Spike, G)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Sentence Meme - Tough Love [roleplay starter] by uptonogoodindiememes (unrated but worksafe)

The Secrets We Keep by BlueZeroZeroOne (Buffy, Willow, Tara, FR15)

[Chaptered Fiction]

Reflections of Reality - ch. 1 by KnightRanger (Willow, Xander, Buffy, Not Rated)

East of Nevada - ch. 8 by Blissymbolics (Buffy/Spike, R)

The Degradation of Duality [Series Part 2] - ch. 38 by Ragini (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Breaking Illusions - ch. 4 by RavenLove12 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Love Lives Here - ch. 91 by Passion4Spike (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Stab in the back - ch. 24 by MelG_2005 (Buffy/Spike, Adult Only)

Beer Bad, Spike Good - ch. 5 by Maxine Eden, ClowniestLivEver (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) COMPLETE!

Laid - ch. 5 by Holly (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) COMPLETE!

Wedding Belles - ch. 5 by buffy_loves_spike (Buffy/Spike, R) COMPLETE!

Itty Bitty Wiggy Piggy - ch. 5 by ClowniestLivEver (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) COMPLETE!

Buffy Summers and the Major Case of the Wiggins - ch. 5 by Soulburnt (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) COMPLETE!

I’ll Get You, My Pretty… - ch. 5 by CheekyKitten (Buffy/Spike, R) COMPLETE!

Embers and Ashes: The Fëanorians in a New World - ch. 1 by Luna (Dawn, LOTR xover, FR15)

The Stars to Hold Our Destiny - ch. 25 by Hermionetobe (Buffy, Star Trek xover, FR15)

Going Home (to a place we’ve never been before) - ch. 18 by curiouslywombat (Dawn, LOTR, FR15)

Where In The World Was Clint Barton? - ch. 40 by Beriaearwen (Buffy, Avengers xover, FR13)

The Buffybot Falls In Love - ch. 3 by Desicat (Buffy/Spike, PG)

Breaking Illusions - ch. 4 by RavenLove12 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Anarchy Tour - ch. 10 by Alyot (Buffy/Spike, R) COMPLETE!

Love Lives Here - ch. 91 by Passion4Spike (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Christina's new life. - ch. 1 by ILLYRIAN (Andrew, unrated)

[Images, Audio & Video]

Banner: 🔔 August Highlight — Two Spuffy Art Entries by veronyxk84 (Buffy/Spike, worksafe)

Artwork: Had to try my hand at sketching our girl by Areyoufilledwithair (Buffy, worksafe)

Moodboard: 365 characters; dawn summers... if you touch me, my sisters gonna kill you. by sylthrein (worksafe)

Artwork: "when he wakes up, tell him...I don't know - think of something cool. tell him I said it" - 1x12, 'prophecy girl' by mistyintherivers (Buffy, Scoobies, Angel, worksafe)

Lyrics: salma deera, letters from medea by dogmetaphors (Buffy/Spike, worksafe)

Manip / Wallpaper: I'm not wired that way by revello-drive-1630 (Buffy, ensemble, worksafe)

Gifset: [Oz and Angel] by starryeyesxx (Angel, Oz, worksafe)

Gifset: [Angel or star?] by ptieuca (Buffy/Angel, Joyce, worksafe)

Gifset: [is it casual now?] by nownow-noneofthat (Buffy/Spike, NSFW)

Gifset: He sort of admits himself that his motives are... spurious. by ladyverdance (Buffy/Spike, Buffy/Faith, worksafe)

Gifset: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER | S05E18: "Intervention" // THE VAMPIRE DIARIES by dogmetaphors (Buffy, Spike, worksafe)

Gifset: Anya Jenkins + Outfits (Season 5) by clarkgriffon (Anya, Xander, worksafe)

Gifset: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (1997 - 2003) ⏤ 5.09, "Listening to Fear" ⏤ 5.22, "The Gift" by andremichaux (Buffy, Joyce, Dawn, Scoobies, Spike, worksafe)

[Reviews & Recaps]

I don't know why I waited so long [first time ATS watcher almost done] by withywoodwitch

Would love to hear your general thoughts on Buffy! [ask answered] by umgirldog

End of season summary! [S2] by agirlinsearchof

PODCAST: Episode 67: Pangs by Gym Was Cancelled: A Buffy Podcast

[Recs & In Search Of]

Recs: 💡 Spuffy Fic Recs — July by veronyxk84

Recs: Spuffy Fic Recs [list of 5 fanfics with reviews] — July by veronyxk84

Recs: [2 Spike x reader fanfic recs] by courtneyraeblogs1221

ISO: Rules and Q&A [for your BTVS head canon requests] by urheadcanongirl

ISO: umgirldog seeks what CD willow was holding in Hush (4x10) when Giles was explaining what the gentlemen were in the lecture hall

[Fandom Discussions]

angel was forced to be good... by williamprattz

Buffy... could've absolutely charged for doing odd jobs in the supernatural...[headcanon] by therulerofallpotatos

Welcome to the Hellmouth Fashion Part Two by theoverlookedoneedits1997

The Harvest Fashion Part One by theoverlookedoneedits1997

[Faith in 3x15 consequences] by redhatmeg

It’s weird to me how confidently and definitively people will say that Tara and Willow weren’t paying Buffy rent. by nicnacsnonsense

What your favorite BtVS character says about you... by housedyke

POLL: Could Xander Harris Survive Danganronpa? by couldtheysurvivedanganronpa

POLL: Vampire Media Guys Round 22: Spike or Elijah Mikaelson? (TVD) by vampirewrestlinglover

What unsettles you still about BTVS? by silvermoon and November

What If: Xander was shot? [in S6] by nightshade and others

Buffy and Faith are still unique slayers [post Chosen] by LightBlueSky55

Which 12 characters would you choose to complete the 12 tasks of Asterix? by MonsterTournament

Don’t you just hate turning invisible because your teacher passed you over in class? [and Clea praise] by nowlan101

What are your favorite or least favorite Giles moments? by AxelNoir

Layout of upstairs of Buffy's house by Tuxedo_Mark

Buffy game Xbox [tips for playing video games on hardware] by Dynalynk

Why James Spader? by Robosl0b

[what are your podcast recommendations? with discussion in the comments] by Working_Original_200

Buffy Content [what formats do you like for podcasts?] by Working_Original_200

Opinions on After The Fall? [Angel comic book series] by Hungry_Walrus7562

Do the writers forget about Angel's curse? [in ATS S3] by foreseethefuture

[Angel's curse made zero sense] by audjenkins41

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

[Links to Juliet Landau new podcast Slayin' It!] via dontkillspike

Amber Benson is set to attend Fanboy Expo Convention in Orlando This September. [Sept 6-8 in FL, USA] via amberbenson.tv

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Join the editor team :)

[balkanradfem]

Favourite Fictional Women poll: FINAL LIST nominations + RULES (nominations closed)

Books:

Elphaba (Wicked)

Hermione (Harry Potter)

Minerva McGonagall (Harry Potter)

Luna (Harry Potter)

Bellatrix Lestrange (Harry Potter)

Sophie (Howl's Moving Castle)

Bella Swan (Twilight)

Lucy (The Chronicles of Narnia)

Susan (The Chronicles of Narnia)

Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games)

Elizabeth Bennet (Pride and Prejudice)

Jo (Little Women)

Alanna (The Song of the Lioness)

Ichigo (Kamikaze Girls)

Momoko (Kamikaze Girls)

Phryne Fisher (Phryne Fisher Detective Novels)

Clarice Starling (Silence of the Lambs)

Robin Ellacott (Cormoran Strike)

Baru Cormorant (The Masquerade Series)

Gideon (The Locked Tomb)

Harrowhark Nonagesimus (The Locked Tomb)

Tattersail (Malazan Book of the Fallen)

Lyra (His Dark Materials)

Lisbeth Salander (The Millenium Trilogy)

Daja Kisubo (Circle of Magic)

Éowyn (Lord of the Rings)

Honor Harrington (Honor Harrington)

Zahrah (Zahrah the Windseeker)

Clair (Outlander)

Margo (The Magicians)

Camille Preaker (Sharp Objects)

Brienne of Tarth (A Song of Ice and Fire)

Cersei (A Song of Ice and Fire)

Daenerys Targaryen (A Song of Ice and Fire)

Arya (A Song of Ice and Fire)

Sansa ( A Song of Ice and Fire)

Rhaenyra Targaryen (Fire and Blood)

Eileen Dunlop (Eileen)

Romy Silvers (The Loneliest Girl in the Universe)

Lúthien (Sillmarilion)

Lady Sotofa (Echo series)

Esme Weatherwax (Discworld)

Angua von Überwald (Discworld)

Susan Sto Helit (Discworld)

Tiffany Aching (Discworld)

Nina Hill (The Bookish Life of Nina Hill)

Keladry (Protector of the Small series)

Shay (Uglies)

Cassie (Animorphs)

The Groke (the Moomins)

Tooticky (the Moomins)

Maximum Ride (Maximum Ride)

Auri (Kingkiller Chronicles)

Anne Shirley (Anne of Green Gables)

Emily Starr (Emily of New Moon)

Penelope (Circe by Madeline Miller)

Rose Hathaway (Vampire Academy)

Katsa (Graceling)

Yennefer of Vengerberg (Witchier)

Dr. Scarlet Clarke (They Never Learn)

Inej Ghafa (Six of Crows)

Ronja (Ronja)

Violet (Asoue)

Medea (Greek Mythology)

Medusa (Greek Mythology)

Jude (Folk of the Air)

Agatha (Girl Genius)

Annabeth Chase (Percy Jackson)

Carrie (Carrie)

Movies

Miss Honey (Matilda)

Matilda (Matilda)

Barbie (Barbie's universe)

Ellen Louise Ripley (Alien)

Evelyn O'Connell (The Mummy)

Peggy Carter (Marvel Cinematic Universe)

Sarah Conner (Terminator)

Cruella de Vil (Cruella)

Yzma (Emperor's New Groove)

Dr. Ellie Sattler (Jurrasic Park)

Harley Quinn (DC universe)

Amy Dunne (Gone Girl)

Jennifer (Jennifer's Body)

Maude Lebowski (Big Lebowski)

Eurodia Holmes (Enola)

Amy Adam (Arrival)

Ginger Fitzgerald (Ginger Snaps)

Mary Mason (American Mary)

Elsa (Frozen)

Mulan (Mulan 1998)

Beatrix Kiddo (Kill Bill)

O-Ren Ishii (Kill Bill)

Trinity (Matrix)

Sidney Prescott (Scream movies)

Dani Ardor (Midsommar)

M3gan (M3gan)

Aila (Rhymes for Young Ghouls)

Princess Kida (Atlantis: The Lost Empire)

Mother Aughra (Dark crystal)

Elizabeth Swan (Pirates of the Carribean)

Marla Grayson (I care a lot)

Heloise (Portrait of a Lady on Fire)

Diana (Wonder Woman)

San (Princess Mononoke)

Zeniba (Spirited Away)

Chihiro (Spirited Away)

Wlle Woods (Legally Blonde)

Rey (Star Wars)

Princess Leia (Star Wars)

Haley Graham (Stick it)

Cruella (101 Dalmatian)

Kiki (Kiki's Delivery Service)

TV Shows

Xena (Xena the Warrior Princess)

Gabrielle (Xena the Warrior Princess)

Callisto (Xena the Warrior Princess)

Buffy (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Faith Lehane (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Willow (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Sabrina (Sabrina the Teenage Witch)

Morgana Pendragon (Merlin)

Catharine Cawood (Happy Valley)

Donna Noble (Doctor Who)

Martha Jones (Doctor Who)

Female Doctor Who (Doctor Who)

Kaya (Supernatural)

Charlie Bradbury (Supernatural)

Claire (Supernatural)

Veronica Mars (Veronica Mars)

Anna Clare (Being Human)

Poussey Washington (Orange is the New Black)

Sister Michael (Derry Girls)

Orla (Derry Girls)

Hayley (Hard Candy)

Vilanelle (Killing Eve)

Eve (Killing Eve)

Anne Lister (Gentleman Jack)

Ann Walker (Gentleman Jack)

Kim (Kim Possible)

Daria Morgendorffer (Daria)

Temperance Brennan (Bones)

Kim Wexler (Better Call Saul)

Katara (Avatar The Last Airbender)

Azula (Avatar The Last Airbender)

Toph (Avatar The Last Airbender)

Krosh (Kid Cosmic)

Guinan (Star Trek New Generations)

Bo-Katan Kryze (Star Wars)

Dong Eun (The Glory)

Leslie Knope (Parks and Recreation)

April Ludgate (Parks and Recreation)

Rosa Diaz (Brooklyn 99)

Dana Scully (X Files)

Kathryn Janeway (Star Trek: Voyager)

Calamity Jane (Deadwood)

Flea (Fleabag)

Michonne (The Walking Dead)

Trixie (Call the Midwife)

Sister Monica Joan (Call the Midwife)

Regina Mills (Once Upon a Time)

Emma Swan (Once Upon a Time)

Ruby Lucas (Once Upon a Time)

Mulan (Once Upon a Time)

Samatha/Sam Carter (Stargate SG-1)

Kira Nerys (Star Trek: Deep Space 9)

Jadzia Dax(Star Trek: Deep Space 9)

Eleanor (The Good Place)

Annalise Keating (How to Get Away with Murder)

Cheryl Blossom (Riverdale)

Miranda Bailey (Grey’s Anatomy)

Lizzie McGuire (Lizzie McGuire)

Catherine the Great (The Great)

Dolores Abernathy (Westworld)

Maeve Millay (Westworld)

Lorelai (Gilmore Girls)

Paris (Gilmore Girls)

Morticia Addams (Addams Family)

Elisa Maza (Gargoyles)

Vera Bennett (Wentworth (2013)

Joan Ferguson (Wentworth (2013)

Constance Hardbroom (The Worst Witch (1998)

Princess Bubblegum (Adventure Time)

Marceline the Vampire Queen (Adventure Time)

Monica (Friends)

Phoebe (Friends)

Maisel (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel)

Shiv Roy (Succession)

Hannah (Please Like Me)

Lupe (A League of Their Own)

Jess (A League of Their Own)

Shahrzad (One Thousand and One Nights)

Michael Burnham (Star Trek Discovery)

 Emperor Phillipa Georgiou (Star Trek Discovery)

Dee Reynold (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia)

Kara Thrace (Battlestar Galactica)

Donna (Twin Peaks)

Laura palmer (Twin Peaks)

Audrey(Twin Peaks)

Marwa (What we do in the Shadows)

Nadja (What we do in the Shadows)

Love Quinn (You)

Allison (Orphan Black)

Cosima (Orphan Black)

Nyota Uhura (Star Trek: The Original Series)

Lisa Cuddy (House MD)

Leela (Futurama)

Bean (Disenchantment)

Pam (Archer)

Grace (Grace and Frankie)

Frankie (Grace and Frankie)

Helga Pataki (Hey Arnold)

Anime/Manga

Sophie (Howl's Moving Castle)

Usagi Tsukino (Sailor Moon)

Hotaru - Sailor Saturn (Sailor Moon)

Michiru – Sailor Neptune (Sailor Moon)

Haruka – Sailor Uranus (Sailor Moon)

Rei – Sailor Mars (Sailor Moon)

Homura (Puella Magi Madoka Magica)

Sakura Kinomoto (CardCaptor Sakura)

Tomoyo Daidouji (CardCaptor Sakura)

Onpu (Ojamajo Doremi)

Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell)

Striga (Castlevania)

Carmilla (Castlevania)

Misa Amane (Death Note)

Asuka Langley Soryu (Neon Genesis Evangelion)

Riza Hawkeye (Fullmetal Alchemist)

Shinobu Kocho (Demon Slayer)

Utena (Revolutionary Girl Utena)

Nana Osaki (Nana)

Hachi (Nana)

Jean (Claymore)

Clare (Claymore)

Theresa (Claymore)

Helen (Claymore)

Deneve (Claymore)

Casca (Berserk)

Haruno Sakura (Naruto)

Yosano (Bungo Stray Dogs)

Tome Kurata (Mob Psycho 100)

Nikaido (Dorohedoro)

Nia (Dorohedoro)

Maki Zen'in (Jujutsu Kaisen 0)

Yuno Gasai (Mirai Nikki)

Ichigo Momomiya (Tokyo Mew Mew)

Zakuro Fujiwara (Tokyo Mew Mew)

Historia Reiss (Attack on Titan)

Mikasa Ackermann (Attack on Titan)

Games

Nancy Drew (Nancy Drew)

April Ryan (The Longest Journey)

Kate Walker (Syberia)

Zelda (Legend of Zelda)

Impa (Legend of Zelda)

Urdosa (Legend of Zelda)

Evie Frye (Assassin's Creed)

Senua (Senua's Sacrifice)

Aloy (Horizon Zero Dawn)

Elisabet Sobeck (Horizon Zero Dawn)

Serena (Skyrim)

Frea (Skyrim)

Morrigan (Dragon Age Origins)

Kreia (Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic II)

Kassandra of Sparta (Assassin's Creed Odyssey)

Heather Mason (Silent Hill 3)

Reika (Fatal Frame)

Rei (Fatal Frame:The Tormented)

An Shiraishi (Project SEKAI)

Nene Kusanagi (Project SEKAI)

Ena Shinonome (Project SEKAI)

Jesse Faden (Control)

Almalexia (The Elder Scrolls)

Billie Lurk (Dishonored)

Emily Kaldwin (Dishonored)

Cecelia (Dishonored)

Lizzy Stride (Dishonored)

Delilah Copperspoon (Dishonored)

Lohse (Divinity: Original Sin II)

Sebille Kaleran (Divinity: Original Sin II)

Siva (Divinity: Original Sin II)

Malady (Divinity: Original Sin II)

Dallis the Hammer (Divinity: Original Sin II)

Toriel (Undertale)

Undyne (Undertale)

Alphys (Undertale)

Commander Shepard (Mass Effect)

Tali'Zorah nar Rayya (Mass Effect)

Liara T'Soni (Mass Effect)

Aria T'Loak (Mass Effect)

Nyreen Kandros (Mass Effect)

Shala'Raan vas Tonba (Mass Effect)

Matriarch Aethyta (Mass Effect)

Yuna (Final Fantasy X)

Abby (The Last of Us)

Ellie (The Last of Us)

GLaDOS (Portal)

Chell (Portal)

Dr. Suvi Anwar (Mass Effect Andromeda)

Leliana (Dragon Age)

Parvati Holcomb (The Outer Worlds)

Chloe Price (Life is Strange)

2B (Nier Automata)

Comics

Stephanie Brown (DC comics)

Cassandra Cain (DC comics)

Zatanna Zatara (DC comics)

Elektra Natchios (Marvel comics)

Fanfiction

Ebony Dark'ness Raven Dementia Way

Web comics

Vriska Serket (Homestuck)

Jaden (Leasebound)

Antimony Carver (Gunnerkrigg Court)

Fictional Movies

Katya (Goncharov)

Podcasts

The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives In Your Home from (Welcome to Nightvale)

Plays

Lady Mabeth (Macbeth)

Clytemnestra (Oresteia)

Miscellanous

Hatsune Miku (Vocaloid)

RULES:

All fictional women from a category will be randomized, and put into polls

Whoever gets 50 votes automatically proceeds into the next round. There won't be only one winner for each poll!

We will do one category at the time. We'll start with books.

We'll decide on a winner of each category, and then whoever had the most votes, will proceed into the Final 10.

I'll calculate how many votes each woman got, so that at the end of the voting, you can see how many other women also adored your favourite ones :)

This also means that once you vote, if there's someone else you also want to see in the finals, you can reblog and let your followers know who already has enough votes, and who needs more in order to proceed. I'll also sometimes reblog polls announcing that a certain character has made the cut, and now others need your attention. We're trying to see which ones are loved and adored enough to actually get a lot of votes, even with competition. The voting starts at the end of nominations!

(POLLS ARE COMING SHORTLY)

[gellavonhamster]

13 books meme

Tagged by @littlestsnicket (thank you ❤)

1) The Last book I read: One Piece Novel Heroines by Jun Esaka, which I've already been posting about enough not to elaborate here

2) A book I recommend: can I copy your homework plagiarize the answer to this from the person who tagged me? Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke. I know a lot of people find it too long or just not their cup of tea, but it's one of my all-time favourites, one of those books that feel like they were written for me specifically, and I cannot help recommending it to others :)

3) A book that I couldn’t put down: I remember reading TFOTA #2 and #3 (The Wicked King and The Queen of Nothing by Holly Black) in a single day. I was feeling unwell, and it was cold outside anyway, so I just spent most of the day reading in bed. I recall being surprised by how engrossed I was - the first book of this series didn't grow on me until well into its second half.

4) A book I’ve read twice (or more): I have this sideblog on Twitter where I post a quote from Dracula per day (yes, manually, I don't know how to make bots lol). I just move down the text and skim it and pick sentences that catch my eye, and when I reach the end, I start from the beginning again. So, in a way, I am constantly in the process of rereading Dracula

5) A book on my TBR: Chrétien de Troyes' Perceval and a bunch of its continuations, Lolly Willowes by Sylvia Townsend Warner

6) A book I’ve put down: the thing is, if I don't really enjoy a book but still can find a good thing or two about it, I will keep reading and hoping it will improve eventually, and if I don't enjoy a book at all, I forget about it as soon as I put it down. Out of sight, out of mind - unless I particularly hate it. When I try to think of any books of the latter kind, the first to come to my mind usually is A Discovery of Witches. I found the worldbuilding really interesting, but damn, the protagonists were so annoying that I wasn't going to struggle through that brick of a book for it.

7) A book on my wish list: I need to get a copy of The Bad Beginning, The Wide Window, and The Hostile Hospital, and then I'll have the entire ASOUE collected! Would also love to get any other Snicketverse books; I only have Poison for Breakfast - bought it literally last weekend. I could buy them online, of course, but: 1) I prefer to avoid online shopping if there is realistic possibility for me to come across that item offline; 2) accidentally stumbling onto these books in bookshops (especially second-hand ones) when I least expect them feels like such a right experience for this series that I am inclined to continue acquiring them that way.

8) A favorite book from childhood: Winnie-the-Pooh and The House at Pooh Corner... truly formative shit, responsible for at least 50% of my sense of humour

9) A book you would give to a friend: I was at my friend's place recently and noticed she had the exact same copy of Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury as I do. When I told her about it, she told me it was I who gave her that book (I forgot 🤦‍♀️) and that she loves it and rereads it almost every autumn :') So this one has definitely passed the test.

10) A book of poetry or lyrics that you own: I have a whole shelf full of poetry books, in fact. At least half of them weren't bought by me, but by my family members long before I was born, but presently all of them are considered mine :D Those that I bought myself include collections of poems by Christina Rossetti, Emily Dickinson, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Oscar Wilde, and Marina Tsvetaeva, among other things. And Useless Magic by Florence Welch!

11) A nonfiction book you own: I stumbled upon The Republic of Pirates by Colin Woodard in the same second-hand bookshop where I bought all the parts of ASOUE I currently have and couldn't believe my luck - I really wanted to read it after watching Black Sails! It's great.

12) What are you currently reading: Tristan and Isolde. Restoring Palamede by John Erskine. Really enjoying it so far; it sort of demystifies/disenchants Arthuriana but without excessive cynicism, with the narrator being understanding, perhaps even compassionate, when describing the characters' very realistic, human flaws. Technically I'm also reading E. W. Hornung's short stories about Raffles and Bunny through the Letters from Bunny Substack, but it's more like "desperately trying to catch up and failing". The stories themselves are delightful, but I was right to suspect that this way of reading books is not for me.

13) What are you planning on reading next? Dracula in Istanbul (the Turkish translation/adaptation of Dracula), courtesy of @seawilde <3

tagging @afoxnamedmulder, @seawilde, @lefresne, @uupiic, and @snckt; as always, feel free to ignore if you don't want to answer :)

[agerefandom]

Other Fandoms

fandoms in red are fandoms that I don't know personally, but I've done art or moodboards for them! fandoms in purple are ones that I have moderate familiarity with, but I can't write every character. The rest are ones that I just haven't made as much content for.

Ace Attorney regressor!apollo edit regressor!edgeworth with cg!gumshoe moodboard

The Addams Family caregiver!morticia moodboard

All For The Game regressor!kevin and cg!andrew moodboard

Avatar: The Last Airbender Flourishing in Sunlight: post-canon fic with cg!Zuko and regressor!Katara gaang agere art regressor!sokka moodboard

Barbie Movie regressor!ken moodboard

The Boy regressor!brahms headcanons

Castlevania (Netflix) regressors!trevor and alucard moodboards/headcanons

Check Please regressor!jack headcanons (ask game)  regressor!bitty art

Coraline regressor!wybie moodboard

Corpse Bride regressor!victor van dort moodboard regressor!emily art

Criminal Minds season one gang regression headcanons regressor!spencer and cg!derek art

Danganronpa regressor!toko, chihiro, and yasuhiro edits bunny regressor!mikan tsumiki moodboard regressor!chihiro moodboard caregiver!sakura moodboard regressor!ishimaru moodboard w themes of cg!mondo

DC Content regressor!harley quinn moodboard (comics) regressor!oswald moodboard (gotham) regressor!joker moodbard (telltale series) regressor!flash moodboard (cw)

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde Once Upon A Midnight Dreary: fanfiction with regressor!henry jekyll

Frankenstein  regressor!victor frankenstein headcanons regressor!adam (the monster) headcanons

Ghibli Movies  big sister kiki headcanons  agere edit of haru (the cat returns)

Heathers agere!JD art regressor!veronica art regressor!heather macnamara moodboard

Hadestown caregiver!hades headcanons regressor!eurydice moodboard

Hunger Games caregiver!katniss moodboard

Interview With The Vampire To Have, To Hold, To Drink: fanfiction with cg!louis and regressor!lestat regressor!lestat moodboard

It caregiver!pennywise headcanons

Labyrinth  caregiver!jareth and regressor!reader

Little Shop of Horrors Skid Row Blues: fanfiction with orin walking in on regressor!seymour regressor!orin headcanons

Lore Olympus regressor!hades and cg!hecate moodboard

The Magic School Bus caregiver!ms.frizzle headcanons

Maze Runner regressor!minho moodboard regressor!newt moodboard

Les Miserables Calling You Home: fanfiction with regressor!Enjolras and caregiver!Grantaire

The Muppets regressor!beaker moodboard

My Little Pony cg!starlight glimmer moodboard regressor!sunset shimmer art/edits

The Mysterious Benedict Society regressor!kate moodboard regressor!nicholas benedict moodboard/headcanons

Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812  Natasha is Young: fanfiction about regressor!Natasha and cg!Helene

Night At The Museum caregiver!Jedediah and Octavius art

The Owl House regressor!willow moodboard regressors!ed and em moodboard

Raven Cycle headcanons (gansey, ronan, noah, adam, and blue)  regressor!noah moodboard

Rick and Morty regressor!morty headcanons

Rocky Horror Picture Show regressor!rocky moodboard

Sandman regressor!desire headcanons thoughts on regressor!dream regressor!dream moodboard

Sherlock regressor!sherlock and cg!john headcanons cg!john watson moodboard

Smile For Me regressor!boris habit moodboard regressor!boris habit edit regressor!habit with cg!kamal art more regressor!habit art

Star Trek regressor!jim and caregivers!bones and spock headcanons regressor!jim moodboard w themes of cg!bones regressor!jim and cg!sam moodboard(strange new worlds) regressor!jim and cg!spock art

Stranger Things regressor!eleven headcanons

The Untamed regressor!lan zhan moodboard regressor!wei ying moodboards

V for Vendetta caregiver!V headcanons cg!v moodboard

Welcome To Night Vale regressor!cecil and cg!carlos headcanons cg!carlos moodboard cg!cecil moodboard

Wicked regressors!elphaba and glinda headcanons

World’s End regressor!gary king headcanons

X-Files regressor!Dana and Fox headcanons

Youtubers  regressor!dan howell headcanons cg!markiplier moodboard

[blackautmedia]

Have you seen the owl house? If so, do you think it has good representation?

I have seen it, yeah! I enjoyed it too. As for its rep, I think it depends on what kind of rep you're looking for.

From a disability standpoint I think it's fine. I know a some people relate to Eda and later Lilith for how their curse reads more like a chronic disability and there's also the unintentional neuroexpansive portrayal of Luz.

It also manages to avoid a lot of the issues that generally come with treating curses like a form of disability that a lot of other media does. I'm a big fan of the episode where Eda's mother visits has to unlearn her ableism to be a better parent.

I think where it could be improved is in how it utilizes race with its characters. It's not a secret that the main villain is a cream cheese colonizing crusader and the Boiling Isles has several forms of white supremacist violence like:

It being a police state

branding the citizens with law, deception, and force to be killed with the coven sigils, a practice done to several real groups of oppressed people. Obviously not with magic tattoos, but I feel any work that centers heavily around its villain branding oppressed people to denote their status in society should be extremely cautious with how it handles a very real thing.

the control over the education system and information

the breakup of community and enforcing of individualism

declaring the cultural practices of the people native to the land impure and wicked

the colonization, etc.

So while the series focuses a great deal on taking out said cream cheese colonizing crusader, it frames his white supremacy in a way that assumes nearly every single white person complicit in that was "tricked" and immediately understands upon learning properly because Belos was this crafty manipulator who fooled everyone.

ToH imo is at its best when it gets Luz or others to challenge and dismantle the institutions around them and most of its greatest episodes I feel come from its strong cast when it doesn't have to orbit them around white characters. Luz, Camila, Gus, Willow, Eda, Raine, and Darius for example all solo everyone and are great. King is fun.

Luz in particular is really such a great protagonist that I feel strengthens a lot of the show and makes up for the aspects I didn't care for as much.

I don't really like the discourse around or even the term "redemption arc" because I don't feel it drives at the right questions, so it's not an issue of if I feel these characters deserve to be forgiven or not, but moreso how the Owl House provides a white fantasy in how white people can picture themselves as being alleviated of their white guilt and welcomed with largely open arms from non-white people because of it. My question is more "who is the intended audience?"

To give an example using a different show, one of my favorite Moon Girl episodes is the one where Lunella is belittled at school by a white girl because of her textured hair. They don't go on to give the white girl a backstory, they don't show her parental background or even give her a name. The focus is on Lunella dealing with desirability politics, texturism, and getting support from her friends and family to embrace her hair as it is.

It's not to say I hate the white cast or think they have nothing of value to offer. It's not lost on me that Hunter for instance is an abuse victim and a lot of people can identify with that struggle and him having to unlearn that behavior.

But at the same time the show goes back and forth on trying to do that and also having him wield state power. I'm not all that cool with him institutionalizing a bunch of girls and non-white kids, not listening when they say he's hurting them, then only coming around because he felt more sympathy for their animal companions, which ends up happening far more often in real situations than it should.

A lot of the Owl House when looked at that lens may have a lot of non-white characters in it, but they can sometimes feel like trophies for its white cast after they've been taught better. They do a great job of depicting numerous facets of colonial violence portrayed in an easily accessible way to younger viewers.

But it also feels ultimately in service of centering the rehabilitation of its white cast.

So I think "what audience is this intended for" is an important question to ask when evaluating representation in a work.

[broodsys]

(re!)-tagged by @jazzmckay lmao so! more beloved women upon ye! and stealing philippa eilhart from them bc i KNEW i was forgetting someone from the witcher.....

make a poll of your favourite female characters (no limits - as many or as little as you want) and see which your followers like the most:

THIS TIME INCLUDING SERA AND VIV WHO I BETRAYED BY FORGETTING LAST TIME..............

also stealing @fadedsweater's brilliant inclusion of the biologist

tagging: @tortoise-teapot | @freesidexjunkie | @wailing-willow

[100hearteyes]

Late to the party. Why don’t we like Tár?

Tár is the story of a female conductor who uses her position of power to take advantage of other, younger women in her orchestra.

The predatory lesbian is a common trope of old. I say 'of old', but the truth is it's been less than twenty, thirty years since its usage mostly disappeared from mainstream media.

"But Tár is meant to show that power has no gender." Yes, but they specifically chose a woman who likes women. A very specific, very harmful stereotype. "There are lesbians who sexually harass too." Yes, but we are still fighting the perception that that's more common than it actually is. We are still fighting the perception that being a lesbian automatically means wanting all women and openly lusting after them and disrespecting their boundaries. "Equality also means getting the same villainous roles." Yes, but there is no equality at the minute. How many mainstream lesbian-led movies were there this year? How many Oscar-contending lesbian-led movies have there been in recent years? And most importantly, how many women still get spooked out by finding someone they know is a lesbian and say poisonous shit like 'as long as she doesn't make a pass at me'? How many women/girls still start avoiding a friend because they found out she's a lesbian? There is no equality, there is no equity, there is just a general warming up to the idea of lesbians. And also, and just as importantly, how come you want to pin villainous roles on us when you haven't given any of all those other roles yet? We don't have almost any lesbians in common movie roles. We don't have lesbian superhero protagonist. We don't have lesbian John Wick/Jack Reacher/James Bond. The most lesbianism we had in Disney content until Willow was a two-second kiss in SW9, some gritty, vague couple in the tv show with the dude from Zero Rogue One (can't be bothered to look up the name), and a couple random ladies who hold hands (?) for two seconds in Finding Dory. We don't have lesbian mother who hunts the people who kidnapped her daughter. We don't have lesbian Crazy, Stupid, Love or lesbian Top Gun or lesbian gangster movies or lesbian Irish farmers living their best life or lesbian crime solving or lesbian political movie or lesbian Serious Movie™. Queer people in general are still mostly stuck with conversion therapy and coming out movies, and for lesbians in particular, the blue-filter, dirty-nails period pieces. There's a subset of teen romantic comedies showing up now, which is awesome, but it's still very indie-adjacent (I love indie movies, don't get me wrong, but I'm talking about the need for mainstream content, specifically). So no, the work is by no means done yet. Equality can't be an argument, because we have NOT been given equal roles. We are still at an era where our main character trait is being queer/a lesbian (one of the most satisfying series I watched recently in that regard was a French comedy called Détox (Netflix) where one of the two main characters is a lesbian but it's just presented as a fact of life and not a character trait, which I loved - even though the show itself is not great lol).

And then in comes Tár, where a lesbian's main character trait is being a sexual predator. Where a lesbian's character trait is the arguably most harmful stereotype associated with queer women. Delightful. When we start seeing regular characters in regular films and 'oh yeah, and they're queer', when sexuality becomes more of an afterthought in a character's trait map (sexuality is never an afterthought in real life, but we need that level of normalcy and acceptance and, yes, equality in the media to help effect positive change in the real world too), then we can have movies like Tár. Not right now, when it can still do so much damage.

TL;DR - Tár is a movie that reawakens, feeds into, and perpetuates the profoundly harmful stereotype of the predatory lesbian, at a time when general common sense is at its most brittle and bigots are eager to find new/more reasons to witch-hunt innocent people who just want to live their lives and be happy.