#will also be good practice for me since i do want to write and illustrate books

[saturnvs]

early peek of the art book/story i’ll hopefully be working on^^

it’s about two horses in the space between life and death and their meeting with the guiding light, whose mission is to lead them to their destination. for one of them it’s life, for the other one it’s death.

it’ll (most likely) be available to purchase on ko-fi as a digital book/e-book as i can’t print and distribute myself. i’ve only barely started the project and have no time frame for when it’ll be done, but i wanted to share the news^^

[colleendoran]

Great Big Good Omens Graphic Novel Update

AKA A Visit From Bildad the Shuhite.

The past year or so has been one long visit from this guy, whereupon he smiteth my goats and burneth my crops, woe unto the woeful cartoonist.

Gaze upon the horror of Bildad the Shuhite.

You kind of have to be a Good Omens fan to get this joke, but trust me, it's hilarious.

Anyway, as a long time Good Omens novel fan, you may imagine how thrilled I was to get picked to adapt the graphic novel.

 Go me!  

This is quite a task, I have to say, especially since I was originally going to just draw (and color) it, but I ended up writing the adaptation as well. Tricky to fit a 400 page novel into a 160-ish page graphic novel, especially when so much of the humor is dependent on the language, and not necessarily on the visuals.

Not complainin', just sayin'.

Anyway, I started out the gate like a herd of turtles, because  right away I got COVID which knocked me on my butt. 

And COVID brain fog? That's a thing. I already struggle with brain fog due to autoimmune disease, and COVID made it worse.

Not complainin' just sayin'.

This set a few of the assignments on my plate back, which pushed starting Good Omens back. 

But hey, big fat lead time! No worries!

Then my computer crawled toward the grave.

My trusty MAC Pro Tower was nearly 15 years old when its sturdy heart ground to a near-halt with daily crashes. I finally got around to doing some diagnostics; some of its little brain actions were at 5% functionality. I had no reliable backups.

There are so many issues with getting a new computer when you haven't had a new computer or peripherals in nearly fifteen years and all of your software, including your Photoshop program is fifteen years old.

At the time, I was still on rural internet...which means dial-up speed.

Whatever you have for internet in the city, roll that clock back to about 2001.

That's what I had. I not only had to replace almost all of my hardware but I had to load and update all programs at dial-up speed.

Welcome to my gigabyte hell.

The entire process of replacing the equipment and programs took weeks and then I had to relearn all the software.

All of this was super expensive in terms of money and time cost.

But I was not daunted! Nosirree!

I still had a huge lead time! I can do anything! I have an iron will!

And boy, howdy, I was going to need it.

At about the same time, a big fatcat quadrillionaire client who had hired me years ago to develop a big, major transmedia project for which I was paid almost entirely in stock, went bankrupt leaving everyone holding the bag, and taking a huge chunk of my future retirement fund with it.

I wrote a very snarky almost hilarious Patreon post about it, but am not entirely in a position to speak freely because I don't want to get sued. Even though I had to go to court over it, (and I had to do that over Zoom at dial-up speed,) I'm pretty sure I'll never get anything out of this drama, and neither will anyone else involved, except millionaire dude and his buddies who all walked away with huge multi-million dollar bonuses weeks before they declared bankruptcy, all the while claiming they would not declare bankruptcy.

Even the accountant got $250,000 a month to shut down the business, while creators got nothing.

That in itself was enough drama for the year, but we were only at February by that point, and with all those months left, 2023 had a lot more to throw at me.

Fresh from my return from my Society of Illustrators show, and a lovely time at MOCCA, it was time to face practical medical issues, health updates, screening, and the like. I did my adult duty and then went back to work hoping for no news, but still had a weird feeling there would be news.

I know everyone says that, but I mean it. I had a bad feeling.

Then there was news.

I was called back for tests and more tests. This took weeks. The ubiquitous biopsy looked, even to me staring at the screen in real time, like bad news. 

It also hurt like a mofo after the anesthesia wore off. I wasn't expecting that.

Then I got the official bad news.

Cancer which runs in my family finally got me. Frankly, I was surprised I didn't get it sooner.

Stage 0, and treatment would likely be fast and complication-free. Face the peril, get it over with, and get back to work. 

I requested surgery months in the future so I could finish Good Omens first, but my doc convinced me the risk of waiting was too great. Get it done now.

"You're really healthy," my doc said. Despite an auto-immune issue which plagues me, I am way healthier than the average schmoe of late middle age. She informed me I would not even need any chemo or radiation if I took care of this now.

So I canceled my appearance at San Diego Comic Con. I did not inform the Good Omens team of my issues right away, thinking this would not interfere with my work schedule, but I did contact my agent to inform her of the issue. I also contacted a lawyer to rewrite my will and make sure the team had access to my digital files in case there were complications.

Then I got back to work, and hoped for the best.

Eff this guy.

Before I could even plant my carcass on the surgery table, I got a massive case of ocular shingles.

I didn't even know there was such a thing. 

There I was, minding my own business. I go to bed one night with a scratchy eye, and by 4 PM the next day, I was in the emergency room being told if I didn't get immediate specialist treatment, I was in big trouble.

I got transferred to another hospital and got all the scary details, with the extra horrid news that I could not possibly have cancer surgery until I was free of shingles, and if I did not follow a rather brutal treatment procedure - which meant super-painful  eye drops every half hour, twenty-four hours a day and daily hospital treatment - I could lose the eye entirely, or be blinded, or best case scenario, get permanent eye damage.

What was even funnier (yeah, hilarity) is the drops are so toxic if you don't use the medication just right, you can go blind anyway.

Hi Ho.

Ulcer is on the right. That big green blob.

I had just finished telling my cancer surgeon I did not even really care about getting cancer, was happy it was just stage zero, had no issues with scarring, wanted no reconstruction, all I cared about was my work. 

Just cut it out and get me back to work.

And now I wondered if I was going to lose my ability to work anyway.

Shingles often accompanies cancer because of the stress on the immune system, and yeah, it's not pretty. This is me looking like all heck after I started to get better.

The first couple of weeks were pretty demoralizing as I expected a straight trajectory to wellness. But it was up and down all the way. 

Some days I could not see out of either eye at all. The swelling was so bad that I had to reach around to my good eye to prop the lid open. Light sensitivity made seeing out of either eye almost impossible. Outdoors, even with sunglasses, I had to be led around by the hand.

I had an amazing doctor. I meticulously followed his instructions, and I think he was surprised I did. The treatment is really difficult, and if you don't do it just right no matter how painful it gets, you will be sorry. 

To my amazement, after about a month, my doctor informed me I had no vision loss in the eye at all. "This never happens," he said.

I'd spent a couple of weeks there trying to learn to draw in the near-dark with one eye, and in the end, I got all my sight back.

I could no longer wear contact lenses (I don't really wear them anyway, unless I'm going to the movies,) would need hard core sun protection for awhile, and the neuralgia and sun sensitivity were likely to linger. But I could get back to work.

I have never been more grateful in my life.

Neuralgia sucks, by the way, I'm still dealing with it months later.

Anyway, I decided to finally go ahead and tell the Good Omens team what was going on, especially since this was all happening around the time the Kickstarter was gearing up.

Now that I was sure I'd passed the eye peril, and my surgery for Stage 0 was going to be no big deal, I figured all was a go. I was still pretty uncomfortable and weak, and my ideal deadline was blown, but with the book not coming out for more than a year, all would be OK. I quit a bunch of jobs I had lined up to start after Good Omens, since the project was going to run far longer than I'd planned.

Everybody on the team was super-nice, and I was pretty optimistic at this time. But work was going pretty slow during, as you may imagine.

But again...lots of lead time still left, go me.

Then I finally got my surgery.

Which was not as happy an experience as I had been hoping for.

My family said the doc came out of the operating room looking like she'd been pulled backwards through a pipe, She informed them the tumor which looked tiny on the scan was "...huge and her insides are a mess."

Which was super not fun news.

Eff this guy.

The tumor was hiding behind some dense tissue and cysts. After more tests, it was determined I'd need another surgery and was going to have to get further treatments after all.

The biopsy had been really painful, but the discomfort was gone after about a week, so no biggee. The second surgery was, weirdly, not as painful as the biopsy, but the fatigue was big time.

By then, the Good Omens Kickstarter had about run its course, and the record-breaker was both gratifying and a source of immense social pressure.

I'd already turned most of my social media over to an assistant, and I'm glad I did.

But the next surgery was what really kicked me on my keister.

All in all, they took out an area the size of a baseball. It was  hard to move and wiped me out for weeks and weeks. I could not take care of myself. I'd begun losing hair by this time anyway, and finally just lopped it off since it was too heavy for me to care for myself. The cut hides the bald spots pretty well.

After about a month, I got the go-ahead to travel to my show at the San Diego Comic Con Museum (which is running until the first week of April, BTW). I was very happy I had enough energy to do it. But as soon as I got back, I had to return to treatment.

Since I live way out in the country, going into the city to various hospitals and pharmacies was a real challenge. I made more than 100 trips last year, and a drive to the compounding pharmacy which produced the specialist eye medicine I could not get anywhere else was six hours alone.

Naturally, I wasn't getting anything done during this time.

But at least my main hospital is super swank.

The oncology treatment went smoothly, until it didn't. The feels don't hit you until the end. By then I was flattened.

So flattened that I was too weak to control myself, fell over, and smashed my face into some equipment.

Nearly tore off my damn nostril.

Eff this guy.

Anyway, it was a bad year.

Here's what went right.

I have a good health insurance policy. The final tally on my health care costs ended up being about $150,000. I paid about 18% of that, including insurance. I had a high deductible and some experimental medicine insurance didn't cover. I had savings,  enough to cover the months I wasn't working, and my Patreon is also very supportive. So you didn't see me running a Gofundme or anything.

Thanks to everyone who ever bought one of my books.

No, none of that money was Good Omens Kickstarter money. I won't get most of my pay on that for months, which is just as well because it kept my taxes lower last year when I needed a break.

So, yay.

My nose is nearly healed. I opted out of plastic surgery, and it just sealed up by itself. I'll never be ready for my closeup, but who the hell cares.

I got to ring the bell.

I had a very, VERY hard time getting back to work, especially with regard to focus and concentration. My work hours dropped by over 2/3. I was so fractured and weak, time kept slipping away while I sat in the studio like a zombie. Most of the last six months were a wash.

I assumed focus issues were due (in part) to stress, so sought counseling. This seemed like a good idea at first, but when the counselor asked me to detail my issues with anxiety, I spent two weeks doing just that and getting way more anxious, which was not helpful.

After that I went EFF THIS NOISE, I want practical tools, not touchy feelies (no judgment on people who need touchy-feelies, I need a pragmatic solution and I need it now,) so tried using the body doubling focus group technique for concentration and deep work.

Within two weeks, I returned to normal work hours.

I got rural broadband, jumping me from dial up speed to 1 GB per second.

It's a miracle.

Massive doses of Vitamin D3 and K2. Yay.

The new computer works great.

The Kickstarter did so well, we got to expand the graphic novel to 200 pages. Double yay.

I'm running late, but everyone on the Good Omens team is super supportive. I don't know if I am going to make the book late or not, but if I do, well, it surely wasn't on purpose, and it won't be super late anyway. I still have months of lead time left.

I used to be something of a social media addict, but now I hardly ever even look at it, haven't been directly on some sites in over a year, and no longer miss it. It used to seem important and now doesn't.

More time for real life.

While I think the last year aged me about twenty years, I actually like me better with short hair. I'm keeping it.

OK. Rough year. 

Not complainin', just sayin'.

Back to work on The Book.

And only a day left to vote for Good Omens, Neil Gaiman, and Sandman in the Comicscene Awards. Thanks. 

[byeolbeloved]

Letters to Cupid -Kang Yeosang

Pairings> soldier!yeosang x typist!reader

Genre> childhood friends to strangers to lovers, angst, fluff, use of flashbacks, slightly suggestive, setting takes place around 18th century

Summary> for centuries, women named cupids worked as typists to write letters on behalf of senders who couldn't write themselves. You were always the writer but never the receiver for a love letter, yearning to be picked up by a knight. What you didn't expect was for this knight to have a familiar set of eyes, only this time lost from the innocence they once had.

Words from pupa : This fic is inspired by the anime Violet Evergarden! Also note that the writings in small italics are meant to be flashbacks. I had so much fun writing this so I really hope you enjoy it <3 The picture is also fanart I made myself hehe so I hope you like that too ^^

The typewriter clicked away, following a warm melody of the woman reminiscing her adventures with the other piece of her that is now battling the screams and horror of man. The warm scenery of her words contrasted the thunderous roars outside. The weather had no mercy on lovers under the moonlight.

"Please tell him I love him and I'll always be waiting for him" the woman said glass eyed. 

She's a gorgeous woman, with light make up and well done hair, although judging from the purple under her eyes you can tell she's had restless nights, tearful even, by her pink nose that was already prominent as she walked through the door. 

You always thought about how hard it must be to have your lover be in the military. You've seen many cases of these couples working as a typist. You had at least 10 letters a day of women writing to their husbands on how badly they miss them, some not knowing their ashes have become part of the land they fight to protect. 

"He will appreciate this letter dearly, Elenor. I will make sure to send it out by Friday" you say with a smile embossing a wax seal on the letter.

"Oh thank you Cupid. I was never good at using the typewriter so when an old friend told me about you I practically came here as fast as I could. It's been a month since he's been away, we've never been separated for this long.." 

"It must be so hard for you both. He'll be just fine El... I see the love in your eyes, he'll come back to them"

Education was a privilege, hence the reason why so many people were illiterate. For centuries women named "Cupids" wrote letters on behalf of senders who weren't able to write to their loved ones themselves or simply didn't know how to express their emotions on paper. It started from a voluntary organisation but has now turned into a whole company, well known throughout the land. 

You were born into the world of literature. Your father was a writer and your mother was a book illustrator. Work being the opening chapter for their own love story. From the moment you were born, books heavily dominated your life. Literally. Because even from the scene of your birth, where your mother delivered you unexpectedly at the house you grew up in, you were wrapped in ripped pages from books- that being the first thing they could grab instead of a blanket at such a chaotic scene of panic. 

You grew up with your mother reading you books and you accompanied your father while he wrote. Although you loved literature, writing your own book wasn't something you saw yourself doing. You much preferred experiencing a realistic event rather than coming up with a story, which is why you fell in love with this job.

You get to write true emotion while hearing another person's story and relationships. And you were clearly good at portraying what people wanted to express as you had tons of people personally asking for you to write for them.

Love; a topic you could rant on and on about. You dreamt about being picked up by a knight, running away from reality just to intertwine in each other's soul.  

However, you weren't such a hopeless romantic as you were very selective with the guys you talked to, let alone dated. No one has ever made you feel like a princess getting saved by the prince. Maybe reality isn't like the books, however, you felt that there must be someone in this lifetime who could make you feel like that.

The night was dark. Dark as the swelling wave of the ocean before the rising winds, when it bends its head near the coast. Rain fell hard against the concrete floor and the wind was so sharp it could cut you. 

The girl shut her eyes, trying to count sheep to calm her heartbeat but the sound of the rain only pictured her sheep drowning in the night alongside her.

"The rain won't get us here" spoke the boy, flashing her a smile that emphasized the pink red mark by his left eye. The red mark he told her was from a kiss from cupid after she pointed out how it looked like a heart. They were under the awning of a closed store.

"The rain is scary Yeosang" she frowned.

"It's only water" he held his hand out to the rain and let it get wet "see? I'm fine" 

"I know but I don't like the noises" 

"Then don't listen to the noises. You can just listen to me" he wiped his wet hand on the side of his pants and grabbed onto hers.

"I will protect you from the rain. I promise I will always hold your hand when it rains Y/N"

“Sorry I’m late, I just finished up with my last client for the day. Did I miss anything?” you place down your coat on the chair back.

“Only Jia swooning over mailman Tony again” Sakura chuckled while sipping her coffee.

“Seriously, when are you going to make a move? He might be single” Maya continued mouthful with a sandwich.

“Oh shush there shall be no romance at work. We have a business relationship and that’s how it’s going to stay. Now let’s get started with the meeting so we can head home before the weather gets worse.” Jia snaps and everyone hides their smiles at her shyness.

“Okay, this meeting is to just remind everyone about plans for next week. We will be accompanying commander Chan- everyone remembers him right? From last year. We will be writing letters for his unit, he has a different unit now. Make sure to pack warm clothes sinc-”

“Since there will be lower temperature in the North” Sakura and Maya said together in a monotone voice. “We’ve done this before Jia we knowww~” Sakura whines.

“Just relax and look out for the hot single soldiers” Maya giggles to Sakura who is now poking at Jia’s side.

“Business! This is business guys! We're going there for work. Plus, these hot guys are depending on us to bring back their messages to their families. No fooling around” Jia makes clear.

Once a year your team will visit military camps to write for soldiers. You’re usually there for 3 days excluding travel. Apart from some of the men being touch starved and looking as if they’ve never seen a woman in their life- most of them are really nice. Last time they even set out a mini farewell and thank you party before your departure.

The crisp sound of snow beneath your feet and cold sensation on your nose definitely woke you up from your nap on the way here. It actually felt quite nice, your surroundings bright from the white snow despite the sun not yet risen and the cold air felt like a splash of water to your face in the early morning. All nice except for the sound of Sakura and Maya’s whines from how their boots weren’t fit for the snow. This is exactly why Jia spent so much time whining about clothing. 

The soldiers shared cabins or tents. You girls too got your own cabin to share- unfortunately quite small so you’ll have to put up with Maya’s snores throughout the night, however big enough for the 4 of you. The main area had its own cabin. That’s where the soldiers mostly hang out and eat. 

As you girls made your way to the main area, commander Chan introduced you to everyone. There seemed to be at least 40 men in there, thankfully all divided into units so it was easier to organise when you’ll be working with who. 

Everyone gave you a warm welcome. You girls spent the first hour chatting with some of them, or you could say flirting for Maya and Sakura, before going into your cabin and unpacking your stuff.

Everyone was really sweet. Two soldiers, a long haired guy with a mole under his eye and another slightly taller than him with a dorito-like physique showed you around the area and let you know the schedule for breakfast, training and lunch. The area was quite open, you could see yourself getting comfortable here as it was very quiet. However, during all this you felt a pair of eyes on you. Though looking around you never saw anyone who could be staring.

“Slow down Yeo! It’s really rocky here” the little girl pants, trying to keep up with the energetic boy in front of her. He’s practically waddling like an excited maltese dog that’s about to get a treat.

“Just a little more, come on!” he grabs onto her hand speeding up her steps, now reaching his pace.

The two youngsters reach the top of the hill, overlooking the dazzling sight of flowers in different shapes and colours spread out across the field. 

The girl lets out a gasp eyes sparkling “This is… what you wanted to show me?”

“What do you think?”

“Yeo this is…. Beautiful” her eyes scan across the field, completely forgetting the distant yelling from her mom she was worrying about 15 minutes ago from why she took so long to get back home after school. 

“It’s gorgeous” says the boy, but he’s not looking at the scenery of flowers. He’s looking directly at her. Swimming in the ocean of her sparkling eyes reflecting the warm colours from the sunset. 

You are gorgeous he thought to himself.

The day was busy. Each unit who was on their breaks got their letters done and even though it was only day one, you managed to get lots done already. It was already pitch black outside and everyone was already tucked into their cabins.

Maybe you were still in work-mode but your body had no intentions to rest as you couldn’t stop tossing and turning in your bunk bed so you decided to take a step outside. You walked over to a corner with bright pink flowers contrasting the white snow, standing tall and so youthful.

“So beautiful…” you whispered, crouching to touch the soft pedals. They look like they have just bloomed. 

“Cyclamen” a deep voice from behind you startles you, letting out a light yelp from you as you turn around quickly. Your yelp almost turns into a loud gasp as you quickly identify the figure owning that deep voice. 

His hair is a light chocolate brown, long enough to be tucked behind his ears but not in a I haven’t thought about cutting my hair type of way- it was well maintained. He was taller than you but not enough so that you’re practically looking up. His body was clearly fit, arm muscles very prominent even from his camo print thick jacket. His skin was pale. So pale it looked like milk. So pale it emphasized the pink mark by his left eye.  

Kang Yeosang.

You had no doubt this was the same boy who used to have thick pitch black hair, sometimes patchy bangs from the self haircut his sister used to give him. The same boy who looked at everyone with sparkly eyes and clapped his hands together when he laughed. 

This was your Kang Yeosang.

“Those flowers are Cyclamen” he said expressionless, hands in his pockets. 

You don’t know if it's the cold air drying your eyes or your overwhelming emotion but you start to feel tears forming, so hot and full of sentiment they almost burn your skin. “Yeosang…?” you whisper but it comes out shaky. 

“They mostly bloom in cold weather” he says, still in the same stance.

“Are there any more flowers around here?” you sniffle out tilting your head.

“I’ve seen snow roses around here before. Would you like to see them with me someday?”

“I’d love to” you said with a smile, now earning a smile from him.

He takes his hands out of his pockets and steps closer to you, pulling you into a hug which you gracefully accept, your arms latching around his neck almost a bit too tight. 

“Hello Y/N” and that's your breaking point. You start sobbing into his chest muffling out I miss yous to which he responds with a hand on your head, caressing it gently. 

“I’m here”

The walk was quiet and heavy. Each step representing minutes lost from each other.

The girl is the first to break the icy silence “can’t you wait at least till next year? We just graduated”

“Y/N this isn’t my choice to make, I don’t have any other choice. It’s what I’m supposed to do” the boy says against his wishes.

“When will I be able to see you again?” the girl now looks at him glass eyed.

“I don’t know” he lowers his head but quickly looks at her holding her hand. “Hey, no matter how long it will take, I will always be here, yea? I promise Y/N”

“Please don’t break that promise Yeo..”

The following days you and Yeosang were practically glued together when you had the time. You caught up on each other's life events and even reminisced about your childhood together. It was almost like you were kids again, except you noticed how serious Yeosang is now.

You don’t expect him to have that same innocence as he had when you were younger. He’s a grown man now and also a soldier. Not a particularly happy go lucky type of job. However, apart from teeth smiles while covering his mouth with his hand, you haven’t heard him laugh yet. You missed it. You missed the days when you both ran around giggling at any little thing. Is that boy you loved, lost?

“But yea, let’s just say leaving a half opened can of soup in a tent for 2 weeks isn’t a great idea” he scratched his head and lightly chuckled.

You laughed at his stories with his cabinmates. So far he has only told you about silly fun stories with his friends, apart from him explaining the basic routine of what they do in training. You were glad he was able to make fond memories as a soldier, especially since you knew how nervous he was joining the military.

But something about you knew that wasn’t all. Has he really been doing well? What about the times he's been in battle? Has he been greatly injured before? Broken a bone maybe? Does he miss his family?

Did he ever think about you?

“Yeo…” you placed your spoon down. The main cabin was far too loud for both of you to have a conversation so you and him chose to stay in his tent for breakfast and dinners. His cabinmates barely stayed there unless it was for sleep so you had all the privacy you wanted. 

“How are you? Really”

“I’m doing well”

“No Yeo, I mean about everything. Do you like it here? Don’t you miss home?”

“Home? Well… Mom occasionally sends letters, I’ve visited sometimes but travel is so long I’d only have a day with them till I have to come back so… I’ve stopped visiting.” How long has it been since he’s had a home cooked meal?

“This definitely isn’t luxury heh, but I’m used to it Y/N. Don’t worry about me, I know what I’m doing here”

“Do you ever think about… me? Us?” immediately his gaze softens to your words. This is probably the first time you’ve seen a genuine expression on his face since being here. His hand is gently placed on your thigh and he brings his face closer to you. 

“Of course Y/N, I told you I’ll always be here. I promised” his eyes burn into your soul and your gaze meets his birthmark. Your finger moves by itself and goes to gently touch it.

“I don’t see you anymore Yeosang… everything is so different”

“I know. It’s hard. This is all very hard but we are going to work this out Y/N” 

Your faces are so close together you can practically taste his breath. His eyes land to your lips and for a second you could see the pupils of his eyes grow. He slowly breaks the space between you and you close your eyes, expecting to feel a touch on your lips  until he breaks off the moment with a whisper “I want to write a letter.”

“I don’t understand thissssss~ let’s just take a break” 

“We’ve already taken 2 breaks. Here, I started the first step for you, now remember what we did for question 6, it’s basically the same thing” the boy hands her the sheet of paper.

“Yeo I appreciate your help but maybe this is a sign from god that I should just give up on Math” the girl slouches on her seat kicking her feet.

“Math isn’t that hard, you just need to focus. Now come on we still have 5 pages left.”

“5 PAGES!? I might as well throw myself off the window” 

“If you finish this in the next hour” he leans in close to her ear “I might give you a kiss” he leans back to his chair with a smug look on his face.

You’d think the girl wore face paint on her face from the deep red that was now formed. Without a word she picks up a pencil and writes away on her paper. 

“Damn you Yeosang”

Some people get frustrated with slow walkers in front of them, slow drivers or even someone talking way too calmly, but the way Yeosang is working the typewriter makes you want to snatch it from him and do the job yourself.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to write the letter for you?” 

“It’s fine I got this” he continues on with his slow pace.

“Who are you writing that letter to anyway?”

“Just someone”

“Who is just someone?”

“A person I know”

 “Who is this person you know?”

“You don’t know them”

“Pleaseee Yeooo~” you lean in closer to him “I’ll give you a kiss if you tell me who” you giggle remembering his little tactic he used to use on you in school.

“Mmmm I’ll think about it” you huff in frustration and he laughs. 

He laughs. 

Your worries of losing the boy you loved dearly completely vanished as you finally see that innocent boy back. His laugh sounded like the doorbell of a childhood house, where kids would run to see if daddy is home. The last bell ring at school, when kids ran home to show mommy what they drew. The sound of the ice cream truck song amplifying as it rolled up from down the street. The clicking sound of riding your first bike, parents cheering in the background for balancing without training wheels.

He sounded like childhood and you felt like a child again. 

In what felt like forever, Yeosang finished his letter. Sealing the paper into an envelope ready to be read by this mystery person you so badly wanted to know. 

“Okay I’ll take it and make sure to send it out. Make sure to write the address.” you reach your hand out but he doesn't move.

“Oh no I want to keep it”

“What?”

“I want to keep the letter.”

“What do you mean? Don’t you want to send it to that person?”

“Not yet.”

 “We can withhold it and send it at any given time you want”

“It’s fine, I’ll send it myself”

Him protecting this letter made you even more curious as to who it was for. Surely he didn’t just write something for fun. Who was this friend? Was it a girl? Or possibly a lover? Surely not. Especially not when he almost just kissed you a while ago. 

He promised. You’re just overthinking. Right?

It was your last day with the soldiers. You only had a couple of letters to finish and by nightfall you and the girls were set off to travel back home. Absolute no bone in your body wanted to go back home. This meant being separated from Yeosang again and you weren’t ready to let him go yet, you only just reunited with him.

“Y/N, you have a visitor waiting” Maya points to the door, only to see Yeosang waiting for you. 

“I have a few more letters to write th-” you’re shushed by Maya when she lightly shoves you out of the room “Don’t worry, we got this, you go enjoy your last moments with lover boy” she whispers the last part although Yeosang surely heard judging by the way he looked away.

“Ooo he’s a shy lover boy too” Maya says before closing the door, you can still hear her giggles through the wall as you’re now left alone with Yeosang.

“Shall we go?” he quietly says. 

“Yeah, where are we going?” 

“You’ll see”

The two of you slowly walk side by side, occasionally bumping the sides of your arms. There isn’t much talking but the silence is comfortable. Almost too comfortable that you forget this is the last time you get to examine his features before the final goodbye for god knows how long it will be again.

You’re snapped out of your thoughts when Yeosang hands you a big white flower, a snow rose. “This is the snow rose I told you about” he said with a smile gently handing it over to you.

“Yeos-”

“Marry me Y/N”

What.

Time stops for a second. A long second. Even the birds stop chirping and the wind halts. You aren’t sure what just happened but your heart knows for sure that it’s a big deal as it beats so hard, destined to break out of you and reach his own, intertwining with his and merging into one. 

“What did you say?” you mutter quietly.

In contrast with your tone, Yeosang is confident. His chin is up high, shoulders back and there's a look in his eyes that show no sign of hesitation. 

“I want you to marry me Y/N” he takes a step closer, and another, and another, till you’re now backed up into the rough surface of a tree.

“I’m going to make this work, I’ll find a way to leave this place if I have to but Y/N, I can’t let you go again.” he cups your face gently and swipes his thumb across your cheek “I’m done keeping promises and making you wait, I want to be with you Y/N, only you” he rests his forehead against yours.

“Come home to me Yeosang” you breathe onto his lips before locking them together. 

Your lips dance together so full of passion and need it almost feels as if your bodies are intertwining into one. You feel his small smile through the kiss as you deepen it, locking your hands in his hair while his explores the sides of your body.

Cold air hits your belly as he lifts up your shirt to slide his hand against your skin, caressing your chest. If you weren’t so lost in the kiss you would have noticed that he was practically spelling his name across your chest with his hand movements.

Remembering that you both need to breathe, he’s the first to break the kiss. You’re both a panting mess but he manages you let out a chuckle “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Yes in every language Yeosang. I will marry you” you smile out taking in his lips once again.

You asked for a rose, but Yeosang gave you a whole garden.  

Two years later

“Tell me Cupid, what should I tell her? I’m so scared. What if she’s waiting for another man?” the man from across you says, blowing his nose into his now 8th tissue in the past 10 minutes.

“Sir Walker, you clearly love her right?”

“Yes! Oh heavens more than anything, I-I’d kill for her, I’d crawl on my knees for he-” he sighs taking a breath “I don’t imagine a life without her”

“Then fight for her” you say softly.

“She’s lands away from me Cupid! How will I be a man to her if I cant even reach for her?”

“Make that happen. You said you would kill and crawl for her. Put actions to your words Sir Walker and show her you love her. You are living in the same lifetime, right here, right now, don’t regret your choices and lose her. She needs to see you fight for her” 

The man breaks down but looks up at you again, composing himself before saying “Have you experienced love Cupid?”

“Everyone experiences love. If not now, one day, just as you wait for love, there is another person waiting for the same. Everyone has someone awaiting them” you softly smile. 

“I’ll do it. Tell her I’m coming to get her. I’m not sure when but from today onwards, she will be my focus” the man lets out a broken smile. Broken yet mendable.

“She will be waiting for you Sir Walker” you say before typing away, a paragraph that awaits a new chapter for the couple.

Your night ends with that heartfelt love story. You hope the best for the couple and your heart nearly breaks with his as you also can’t help but think about your person you are waiting for. 

The weather outside is mean. Almost in hopes of drowning man in its rage. The thunder roars and you’re left counting sheep in your head- something you’ve been doing ever since you were a kid to calm down. 

As you’re walking out of the building Jia calls you from behind “Y/N you have a letter!”

She runs up to you and hands you the letter. “Who is this from?” you ask as you’ve never received a letter before. 

“Hm not sure” she looks into a room, clearly distracted by something, or someone as you look at the direction only to see the famous mailman who has been working here years before you joined the company- Tony.

“Um yea I’ll see you tomorrow Y/N I gotta go, bye! Let me know who that letter is from!” she says from a distance practically skipping her way to Tony,

You don't get the chance to even reply to her before she's gone. You look at the letter and there is no address to indicate where it was sent from, which could only mean this letter must have been dropped off by the sender here at the company.

You walk out the building, still sheltered from the awning covering you. Your steps are heavy, unable to move.

It's fine Y/N let's take this slow you thought to yourself deciding to just stand there for a while before making your way home.

You curiously open the letter and start reading it;

Dear Y/N,

How are you? I am writing this letter to you while you are right next to me. I hope you’re not mad about almost kissing you and asking to write a letter instead. It’s just that I wanted to capture my feelings towards you at this given moment, so we can hopefully both look back at this letter.

You asked me if I liked it here. I don’t. I hate the feeling of knowing every movement I make can be my last, and that I won’t be able to say my final goodbye to you. I hate that I go to sleep at night, responsible for another lost man from his lover. I wish I could be able to come home from work and tell you about my day. But what can I tell you? About how many screams I heard? How bloody my hands are after every battle? 

You asked me if I think about you. My answer is yes. Painfully yes. I always think about what you could be doing at any time. If you found yourself love. I worry everytime it rains, do you have anyone to hold your hand during thunderstorms? I force myself to repeat your voice in my head because I’m so afraid of forgetting what you sound like. I always remember about the day I took you to the flower field. You looked so beautiful in that moment. So everytime I find a flower, I make sure to stop and admire it, pretending it’s you. Because to me, you are far more beautiful than any flower out there. 

I will come home to you Y/N. I promised I would be there. I promised to hold your hand. And I will fulfil my promises, even if it means fighting for my life. 

Wait for me my love.

Love,

Yeosang. 

“Damn you Yeosang” you chuckled out, a crack in your voice causing tears to slip out. You look up to the sight of the man in reason for these tears. He’s still wearing his uniform, hat covering half his face. He seems to have gotten bigger in physique too. He drops his hat and you smile widely at the sight of his birthmark, now holding smiling eyes.

“It’s raining” he said, reaching out a hand “I’m here to hold your hand.”

You completely ignore the extended hand and crash your body into his for a tight hug. An embrace with no chance of him slipping out. 

“You came home” you said into his chest.

“I came to stay” 

“And to hold my hand” 

“And to hold your hand” he laughs out.

Yeosang was your childhood. Yeosang is your home.

[simpforboys]

Hi! I saw you wanted some Xavier requests.

So here I am with an idea 💡

So basically the reader helps Wednesday investigating and they get to Xavier's shed. He found them and Wednesday comes up with the excuse that the reader wanted to ask him to the Rave'n. A detail is... the reader "hates" him a lot😜🤘

Hope you like the idea. I haven't seen it done yet..🤷🏻‍♀️😂

hardest to love

xavier x fem!addams!reader

summary: after wednesday drags you to xavier’s art shed, you accidentally end up with a date to the rave’n.

warnings: enemies to lovers 🤭, swearing, fluff ending

i made this addams!reader because i thought it fit perfectly, no physical descriptions used tho!

AHHHH I LOVED WRITING THIS I HOPE ITS GOOD

“i cannot believe you dragged me out here.” you rolled your eyes, leaves crunching under your boots.

wednesday had practically begged you to come to xavier’s art shed with her. she insisted he had some sort of connection with the monster she was hunting.

“quit your complaining, it’s giving me a headache. and not the good kind.”

she had picked the lock to the shed and opened the door. you followed after her, seeing hundreds of drawings hung around the room.

“i told you.” wednesday exclaimed, showing off the illustrations of the same monster over and over again, the one wednesday claimed to see the night rowan died.

“this doesn’t make any sense-“

“i think it makes perfect sense. xavier and rowan were roommates, xavier was there the night rowan was attacked.”

as much as you didn’t like xavier, you also didn’t like how wednesday would go around throwing accusations.

you and xavier had immediately got off on the wrong foot. ever since the first day of school, he accidentally made a comment you didn’t like.

the dislike just grew the more he tried to hang around wednesday. you wanted to keep your family safe, much to wednesday’s dismay.

wednesday started gathering some of the drawings to use for evidence. “put them back, wednesday-“

“no. i need these.”

you and wednesday started bickering. all of a sudden, you heard leaves start crunching. “we need to leave.”

you exited the shed and wednesday followed after you. you two tried to silently walk away, but the stupid leaves made it almost impossible.

who the hell makes an art shed in the middle of the woods?

“y/n? wednesday?” xavier called out after you.

the two of you turned around almost instantly. wednesday stuck the drawings behind her back as she pursed her lips.

your stomach flipped with nerves. xavier approached you both suspiciously.

“what are you guys doing here?” he asked.

you were about to speak when wednesday blurted out, “y/n wanted to ask you something.”

“huh?” you said confused, wednesday kicking your leg.

xavier’s eyebrows furrowed at you two.

“about the dance…” wednesday trailed off. it was very difficult for her to hide her amusement at the look on your face.

“right…” you rolled your eyes.

“oh?” xavier smirked.

while you didn’t like xavier, the feeling was one sided. he had tried to apologize multiple times to you, but you never listened.

“are you really going to make me say it?” you asked through gritted teeth, heart pounding in your chest. your hands were shaking.

“oh, absolutely.” xavier grinned.

“w-“ you started. the words just didn’t want to come out of your mouth.

“will…”

“take your time.” wednesday whispered loudly. xavier laughed and you wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

“will… y-you… go tothedancewithme?”

you rushed the last part out. you felt like you were going to faint as xavier looked you directly in the eyes.

“i’m sorry, could you repeat that?” xavier teased.

“i’m not repeating it.” you replied in a hostile yet embarrassed tone. your face was extremely hot.

“yes. i thought you’d never ask.”

“neither did i.” you mumbled to yourself.

➽─────────────────❥

you were beyond pissed at wednesday. pissed was an understatement.

“i cannot believe you made me ask! don’t you ever think, wednesday?” you were pacing around your room.

your normal calm nature was completely rattled.

but you weren’t the only one rattled.

xavier couldn’t believe you had asked him to the rave’n. ajax sat on xavier’s bed as xavier paced back and forth.

“i mean- why would she ask me?”

“maybe she secretly likes you, dude.” ajax replied.

xavier kept rambling on about your behavior and how sudden it was.

you were doing the same to wednesday. she was miserable as she wrote her novel.

“as much as i love to hear you in pain, could you please be quiet?”

“no! this is your fault, all because you’re obsessed with some stupid monster.”

“and you’re not obsessed with the idea of xavier thorpe taking you to the rave’n? hmm? don’t even lie, y/n. i see you stare at him in class. your cold demeanor will soon drop.”

➽─────────────────❥

you dreaded the day until the rave’n. what didn’t help, was thing insisted you wear a black gown to stand out.

“why am i even going?” you sighed. you sat on your bed with your head in your hand, staring down at the gorgeous black silk.

thing had even stolen a matching pair of black heels.

“i invited tyler to go with wednesday.” thing signed to you. immediately your mood changed knowing wednesday would be as miserable as you.

thing quickly signed to you to get dressed. you groaned, grabbing the gown and shoes. thing turned around as you slid the silk up your soft legs, a mid-cut v neckline that showed just the slightest cleavage.

you looked in the mirror and couldn’t even deny how good you looked.

thing then motioned for you to sit down. thing then proceeded to fix up your hair and gave you a nice necklace.

“thank you, thing.” you gave the hand a little kiss. thing signed, don’t mention it.

and there was a knock on the door. all the weight of the world just crashed down on you within two seconds.

“shit, shit, shit.” you swore as thing went over to open the door.

you spun around nervously and tried to find a place to hide. “woah.”

you pursed your lips as you turned around slowly. xavier, dressed in all white, looked at you in awe. he was holding a corsage.

“you look-“

“thanks.” you nervously held your hand out and he slipped the corsage on. you couldn’t help but notice his own shaking hands.

you shut the door behind you both. there was an awkward silence as xavier struggled to find something to talk about.

meanwhile, you were struggling to walk in your heels. “you okay?”

xavier motioned to your awkward walk.

“heels are the worst. they torture your feet, and not in a fun way.”

xavier smiled at you, offering his arm.

you hesitantly accepted. when his warm arm met your cold one you both swore some sort of electricity went off.

the walk through the quad was almost embarrassing. the weird looks everyone gave you as you walked with xavier.

it only got worse when you walked into the dance. “you guys look amazing!” ms thornhill complimented.

xavier thanked her, sensing your uncomfortable stature and brought you off to the side.

“do you see wednesday?” you asked him over the loud music.

you needed to talk to her.

“is that-“ xavier nodded towards where wednesday stood awkwardly with tyler.

you left xavier without a second word, striding over to wednesday. her blank gaze met you and she walked away from tyler to meet you in the dance floor.

“this is worse than a wedding.” wednesday said in disgust.

“i see thing got you back for what you did to me.” you motioned over to tyler, dressed in all white, standing there watching you two.

“thing was out to humiliate me. i at least saved us.”

you blinked at wednesday.

“someone misses you…” she motioned over to xavier looking at you like a sad puppy. he was talking to ajax, but his eyes never left yours.

“i guess we should get back to our dates.” you sighed.

“unfortunately.” wednesday agreed.

➽─────────────────❥

goo goo muck played loudly from the speaker.

you watched as wednesday did her dance with tyler, not even noticing your own body began to sway with the beat.

“wanna dance?” xavier asked.

you stared at him before nodding slowly.

if wednesday was dancing, you can dance too, right?

your body moved with the beat, the crowd forcing you and xavier tightly together.

it was freaky how close you two were. he moved his shoulders to the beat, eyes looking straight into yours as you did the same.

unbeknownst to you, everyone could feel the sexual tension between you too.

xavier’s body language quickly met yours and before you knew it, you danced together in a rhythm that surely anyone in a two feet radius could sense.

your face was mere inches from his, hands brushing against each other as you moved.

and you couldn’t even deny how good xavier looked. under the strobe lights, his hair slicked back into a bun, his white suit.

and before you could realize it, your lips were centimeters away. his lips slightly grazed yours, his big hand coming up to cup your jaw.

but as soon as xavier was about to connect your lips, the sprinklers started to go off releasing red substance everywhere.

“what the hell?” xavier groaned, the liquid getting all over his suit and face.

you stuck your finger into your mouth, xavier watching you in shock.

“paint.”

people screamed as they slipped onto the wooden floor. everyone made a run to the doors, the night ruined.

but for xavier, the only thing that was ruined was the fact he almost kissed you.

“let’s get outta here, yeah?”

you nodded at xavier as you held onto his arm once more. he led the two of you outside and into the quad where nevermore students stood upset.

“i have a spot where we can clean the paint up.”

➽─────────────────❥

xavier took you back to his art shed. the drawings and paintings you previously saw with wednesday were now gone.

you stood silently, watching xavier wipe the paint off his face and neck.

he removed his suit jacket, leaving him in his white button up and pants. the buttons to his shirt were slightly undone, leaving some of his chest exposed.

“you know, i never got to ask. why did you hate me so much?”

xavier was now staring at you. you felt nervous under his gaze.

“it wasn’t hate. it was dislike. i did not like the comment you made about my family in the beginning of the year.”

“it wasn’t meant to come out that way, y/n.”

“but it did. it did to me.”

xavier walked up to you. his piercing blue eyes stared directly into yours. you felt chills run down your body.

“i’m sorry.”

and you could tell he meant it. you’d never seen such a sincere look in someones eyes before.

“can i?” he motioned to the clean rag he lifted slightly above your face.

you nodded hesitantly.

xavier carefully ran the rag along your cheeks, nose, and forehead.

he stopped when he got to your lips, a strange look in his eye.

seeing the way he looked at you made you realize that everything was just one sided.

and with that realization, you grabbed xavier’s waist and pulled him into you.

xavier immediately kissed you, dropping the rag as he cupped your face.

you’d never experienced such passion, let alone in a kiss.

the electricity you seemed to feel appeared to get stronger, and maybe a couple sparks would fly.

but that didn’t matter, because xavier had finally got you. and you finally got what you never realized you needed.

[copperbadge]

Amateur Translation Programs

So I had a lot of imaginative and informative responses to my post about looking for an amateur translation program -- something where I could load in a foreign language and it would insert a box where I could add a translation every-other-line. The idea was that this way I could practice translation with more advanced texts, and texts I chose, and thus move away from Duolingo, which at this point is good for drilling and daily practice but not for more advanced learning.

I didn't find precisely what was needed but I did get some inspiration for further explanation, and I also learned that adding the term "glossing" (thank you @thewalrus-said) into my searches helped a great deal in terms of weeding out programs that were either "Let this AI translate for you" or just endless promotional links for Babbel and Duolingo and such. I thought I'd collect up the suggestions and post them here; at the end I'm including my best swing at designing what I wanted, and why it doesn't work yet.

Suggestion one, from many people, was various ways to generate a page that is simply fixed Italian text with space underneath each line to add in a translation. This is pretty simple as a process and there are sites that will do it for you, such as this one that @ame-kage suggested. However, most of these don't allow for movement in the Italian text, and many produce a PDF which you would need to print out in order to write on unless you're willing to open it in Acrobat (and deal with Acrobat). A good solution for some but not what I'm looking for purely because I'm trying to make this super frictionless so that (knowing myself as I do) I will actually do it.

I did find this version interesting, suggested by @drivemetogeek: Have one word doc saved as your "template" doc and set the line spacing as 2.0 or higher. Select your text from source and paste it into the template doc as text-only. Ctrl a, ctrl c to select all and copy, then open a new document and "paste special" as picture. Right click and set the "wrap text" as behind text. Now you have a document where you can, basically, type over the existing text because it's the background of the page. This seems like the most frictionless version, because you could set up a bunch of them ahead of time. If you wanted to move between desktop and mobile, however, you'd need to ensure that the pasted image was fairly narrow so that you don't have to sideways-scroll.

Relatedly, people suggested generating a document that is simply the Italian text with empty space beneath it for typing in of the translation. This can be done either semi-automated, using a macro or a language like Python, or find-and-replace on, say, the stops at the ends of sentences. It basically outputs the same as above but with a more digitally accessible format, without any more effort than above. If you were to do this in Google Sheets you could also fix the column width so that it didn't do anything weird when you opened it on your phone. But it is still very friction-y, and does not allow for easy shifting of the Italian as needed. There's high probability of the translation breaking weirdly across the page. Still a top option in terms of simplicity and access.

@smokeandholograms suggested another variation illustrated here where essentially you're converting the text to a series of tables, with each paragraph a row, and an empty cell next to it for the translation. I might play around more with this one eventually, since I think I could possibly make it a three-column and put the Italian in one, the translation in the next, and the auto-translate to let me know where I might be slipping in the third. (Not that I trust auto-translate but comparing a hand translation to an auto translation can be useful in terms of working out when I've messed up the way a tense or mood is read. I tend to read indirect verbs as automatically imperative because I'm a weirdo.)

@wynjara linked to an add-in for Word specifically designed for translators, known as TransTools; this appears to employ a macro to do the same thing, though it does have a format where you can place the translation next to each sentence directly rather than in a separate cell. The full suite of tools is only $45 which is reasonable for my budget, but for what I need I think I could also just create the macro.

Using LaTeX as a tool specially designed for glossing was an option on offer, but I don't know enough about LaTeX to figure out the pros of this one, which is in itself the major con -- there's a learning curve that I think varies widely by person but for me is unfortunately a wall. It came out of a discussion on Reddit about trying to find something like what I want; also in that discussion is a link to a code generator that allows you to…do something…to the initial language, but it's not entirely clear to me (I'm sure it's clear to people who understand coding) what you would then do with it that would allow it to be output in the way I'm hoping for. Like, I could turn a paragraph of text into HTML, I understand that far, but any Italian I find is already on a website.

Moving more into apps that might work, Redditors on the LaTeX discussion suggested SIL Fieldworks, which is a professional language tech tool. Fieldworks isn't a program I'd previously encountered but much as with the ones I had, it looks like the learning curve is fairly steep and it is definitely overkill generally for what I need, though it might also harbor within it the thing I want. It is free, so I may download and play around with it.

@brightwanderer suggested using note-taking or "whiteboard" apps such as Freeform or Nebo; these are generally a kind of "infinite canvas" in which you can drop objects, text boxes, or handwriting. I don't know that Freeform would be measurably different to just using Word and a macro, since I'd still have to input/format all the text and then be stuck with the same "fixed text" setup -- and it's also iOS only -- but for some folks it might be more helpful. Nebo is a similar infinite-canvas with unfortunately the same issues, though on the plus it's available for Android, which is where most of my mobile property resides.

@bloodbright suggested that I was looking for a CAT tool, a professional translation tool mainly used by translators working in the field. This was a concept I'd encountered, but I hadn't found a good starting place. They suggested Smartcat and OmegaT. Smartcat bills itself as an AI translation platform and is HARD pushing the "don't translate it yourself, hire a translator or let AI do it" angle, so it's difficult to tell what it offers in terms of actual tools for translators, and it's also cagey about pricing, so I can't really evaluate it. OmegaT is free and gives off big "some weirdo homebrewed this in their basement" vibe (which I am here for) but I also recognized it from screengrabs that were the reason I veered away from professional-grade software: it looked too complex. Realistically, the major downside of OmegaT is that I don't think I can put it on my phone. One thing I did find interesting is that once you translate a portion of the text, the original language goes away, though I assume you can turn that off if needed. I do kind of like that because it means my distractable brain is looking at Less Stuff.

So where did I end up?

Well, it looked like I was going to have to try a homebrew myself. I had the idea of trying some of the initial suggestions but in reverse -- designing a document where every other line was a single-cell table fixed to the page. You could paste in the Italian, which would wrap around the cells, and then enter the English in the cells.

You can fix a table in place in Google Docs -- you click on the table, then under Table > Style select Wrap Text, Both Sides, and Fix On Page. Getting the whole page set up is a little labor intensive but once you did that, you could just save it as a template and make a duplicate of it each time. And this actually works….on desktop.

Unfortunately, if you open it in the mobile Docs app, the app can't handle the fixed tables and automatically moves them all to after the text that's been pasted in. I tried redesigning it so that it's a table within a table -- one for the Italian, then within that a series of them for the English -- but when you nest a table in Google Docs, it doesn't let you fix the second table in place. And you are also still dealing with the wrap issue, although you can resize the page and add a large right-hand margin as a kludge of a fix for that.

You can build this same kind of document in Word, so I tried building one in Word and then uploading it to Drive, but when you open the Word file in Docs (or in Microsoft Word for Android), it still strips the fixed positioning -- there's just some functionality missing from both apps that doesn't allow them to handle fixed-position tables.

So, the design is sound, just not the final execution. If I could program an app, I could probably remedy the issues with it -- it's simply a series of text boxes nested inside one another with different formatting. I would imagine that's relatively basic to set up, although given that neither Docs nor Word can handle fixed tables in mobile, perhaps I've stumbled on a much bigger problem that everyone is ignoring because nobody actually needs or wants fixed tables in mobile. :D

Experimentation is ongoing, anyway. I might simply have to resign myself to the fact that my translation study is going to have to be in front of a computer, which might be for the best anyway when I inevitably want to compare my translation to an auto-translate to see where I might have read something wrong.

[vivitalks]

Last night I saw the Great Gatsby musical. Before I went, I reread the Great Gatsby book (for the first time since 11th grade!) to get a refresher on the source material and the original story. Having the book so fresh in my mind made seeing the musical really interesting, and now I am going to do something I never thought I'd do, which is post some lengthy meta about The Great Gatsby. If you haven't seen the musical, this post may still be interesting to read, but it does contain some mild spoilers, so I leave that up to you. If you also haven't read the book, godspeed lol.

There's a lot I could talk about here when it comes to the way the book was adapted for the stage. But there's one particular thing I want to zero in on in this post, and that's the "unreliable narrator" of it all.

In the book, Nick Carraway is our narrator. He's an unreliable narrator practically by default - the idea is that he's retelling events that occurred two years prior, from memory. But even knowing that Nick is probably not reporting all events and characters with complete accuracy, it's hard to know which parts exactly are wrong, or what might have happened in reality, because even though he's an unreliable narrator, he's still the only narrator and this is the only version of events we know. We're forced to take Nick as our surrogate and take him at his word. Until the musical.

(I wondered how the show was going to deal with the fact that the story of Great Gatsby is not only told by an unreliable narrator but also by an outside perspective - generally speaking the events of the Great Gatsby aren't happening to Nick, they're just kind of happening around him. Yet he's the voice of the story, so in that way he's central to it, and I was curious how they were going to balance that fact with the fact that Gatsby is functionally the main character.

I think they struck a really good balance in the end. Nick's beginning and ending lines, lifted verbatim from his book narration, frame him clearly as the anchor of the story - I think that's the best word for it; the audience jumps from scene to scene, many but not all of which contain Nick, but we know that Nick is always going to be where the action is, or that he will at least know about it. He may not be the main character, but he's an essential character. But I digress a little bit.)

The difference between the way the story is imparted to the audience in the book versus in the musical boils down to this: in the book, Nick "plays" every character, so all their dialogue and actions, their mannerisms and the way they're described and reported, it's all informed by the beliefs Nick holds about them. Whether he means to or not, his biases paint certain characters in certain lights, and because he is our eyes and ears to the story, we have no choice but to absorb those biases.

But in the musical, every character is literally played by a different actor. Nick can only speak for himself. Nick can only tell his own parts as they happened. He may be "telling" the story, but we're watching the story. We have the benefit of an unblemished perspective on things - we can watch the events the way they actually unfold, regardless of how Nick believes or remembers they went down.

This difference - between Nick as the narrator and Nick as merely his own voice - is crucial in how the musical develops each character, some of them fairly different from how Nick described them in the book. And there's one book-to-stage change - a fairly small one, all things considered - that, to me, illustrated this difference perfectly.

There's a line towards the end of the Gatsby book. Something Nick says in narration, after his final conversation with Tom Buchanan, talking about how Tom gave away Gatsby's name and location to George Wilson (which ultimately led to Gatsby's death). Nick writes:

"I couldn’t forgive him or like him, but I saw that what he had done was, to him, entirely justified. It was all very careless and confused. They were careless people, Tom and Daisy — they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made…"

When I read this line in the book, I couldn't help vehemently agreeing. Screw those rich assholes! Money does corrupt! Tom and Daisy ARE careless wealthy people! It was easy to side with Nick, not only because he was the only perspective on the situation that I had, but also because he said this in internal response to a conversation with Tom, who, I think we can all agree, is a major jackass and a deeply unsympathetic character.

But in the musical, this line is spoken aloud by Nick. And he says it to Daisy, in her house, as she's packing up to skip town after Gatsby's death. In fact, he doesn't just say it; he shouts it, visibly and audibly outraged at her audacity to lead Gatsby on, ghost him, skip his funeral, and then move away to avoid the fallout. Nick is angry and highly critical of Daisy. But because we're no longer confined to his shoes, we also get to see Daisy's reaction - not as Nick remembers it, but as Daisy actually reacts. And because of that, we're able to really see, and confirm, that "Daisy is rich and careless" is not the full story.

I have to credit Eva Noblezada for a phenomenal performance (duh). Daisy in this scene is emotional, grieving, and it's clear she has been trying to contain these feelings for the sake of her husband and her own sanity. She's remorseful, not that Gatsby is gone necessarily, but that she allowed herself to entertain the fantasy of running away with him, only for it to be torn from her. She is trying to make the best of her unavoidable reality. And then Nick tears her a new one, calling her careless, accusing her of destroying things and being too rich to care.

And as I watched that scene, I was no longer wholly on Nick's side. I understood that this situation was so much more complex than Nick's chastisement acknowledged. Sure, Daisy wasn't innocent, but she also wasn't the callous rich girl Nick made her out to be. She did love Gatsby. And she also had a whole life with Tom. She had a daughter. She was a woman in the 1920s! That's a kind of life sentence even wealth can't erase.

The way Daisy responded may not quite have landed with Nick (if we consider the kind of fun possibility that the musical is the events as they happened and the book is Nick retelling those events as he remembers them two years later, then clearly Nick's disdain for Daisy's actions overtook whatever sympathy he felt for her), but the musical gave Daisy the opportunity to appeal to us. The audience. Having this omniscient perspective of things allowed us to draw our own conclusions, and I found myself a lot more sympathetic towards Daisy when I could both see and hear how she responded to Nick's verbal castigation.

In the book, Nick is the narrator. In the musical, Nick is a narrator. But he's no longer the sole arbiter of the story. The audience got to make our own judgements on the events as we witnessed them. Every one of us was a Nick - beholden to our own biases, maybe, but at least not beholden to his.

[and-her-saints]

Do you happen to have any resources on mysticism? I’m writing a short paper for one of my classes, and I want to bring in some outside sources <3

depends on what branch/type! i'm the most well-versed on Catholic mysticism, of course. so, that's what i'll share.

i illustrated Shannon K. Evans' new book: "The Mystics Would Like a Word." (out now!) It's about St. Thérèse of Lisieux, St. Catherine of Siena, St Teresa of Ávila, St. Hildegard of Bingen, Julian of Norwich and Margery Kempe. i think it's a brilliant intro to mysticism that also ties the practice to modern day. besides, these women are the quintessential mystic girlies within Catholicism, so you could look into them.

For St. Thérèse specifically, you could look into her autobiography, 'Story of A Soul'. For St. Teresa of Ávila, it could be 'The Interior Castle.' For Julian of Norwich, 'Revelations of Divine Love.' For St. Hildegard, her Scivias or her songs... etc. etc.

a dear buddy, W, has the podcast 'St. Anthony's Tongue" and it specializes in this topic particularly. i'd definitely recommend looking through his podcast and show notes.

since it's a small paper, you might find good sticking to a single mystic. mysticism is so so broad and found across many spiritualities, approaches, religions and cultures. you could also compare and contrast the experiences of two different mystics.

for "lesser-known" mystics, i think St. Gemma Galgani's or Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz' experiences could also be a fascinating subject for essays on mysticism.

(i'm too much of a lesbian to mention men who were mystics. they are uninteresting, in my opinion. the only ones i think i like are St. Francis of Assisi and, in small doses, St. Ignatius of Loyola)

if you need any sources that are even more specialized later on, let me know! i'd be happy to help! best of luck!!!!!!

[maniculum]

Bestiaryposting Plan

So the poll is still running, but I think I'm safe in saying there's sufficient interest, so I'm going ahead and typing up a "how we're going to do this" thing, which I will schedule to post after the poll ends properly. As of the time I'm writing this, over 500 people have voted for the "yes I want to draw things" option, and I had been expecting to get maybe a dozen, so we definitely have enough participants. Let's get started then:

Our Source

I had originally planned to translate an Old or Middle English bestiary, but haven't been able to find a good one -- the best option I was able to dig up only has thirteen critters, which I feel like isn't enough to really have fun with. I was debating the idea of translating a Latin one -- this would have been far more time-consuming since my Latin is terrible, but also I do need to practice it, so I figured it evens out -- when I found a solution that doesn't involve me spending hours and hours on translating.

It seems that when Aberdeen University created their digitized version of the famous Aberdeen Bestiary, they released it under a Creative Commons license. (Assuming I'm reading their copyright policy correctly; I'm not a lawyer.) It does not seem to specify whether the transcriptions and translations they attach to the scanned images are also covered by Creative Commons, but since all of those are already freely available online through their website, I can't imagine they would have a problem with me posting them here as long as I provide attribution (which I am hereby doing right here on this post) and am not using it for commercial purposes (which I am not).

The Aberdeen Bestiary is missing a few pages, but there exists a very similar manuscript, the Ashmole Bestiary (they're sometimes called "sister" manuscripts), which is not missing those pages. And I happen to have a translation of the Ashmole Bestiary in hardcopy on my bookshelf, so I can just use it to fill in the gaps. Edit: whoops, the one I have is the Bodley Bestiary. They are in the same bestiary "family", though, so it still works well enough. (I think that should qualify as "fair use", since I'm only taking excerpts and not using them commercially.)

The upside of using the Aberdeen Bestiary is that it means when I round up all the art of each critter, I can include their very nice illustrations alongside the reveal of what animal was being described.

The downside of using the Aberdeen Bestiary is that since it already is free online, people might be tempted to "cheat" by looking up the entries and finding out what animal they describe. For that, please see the next section...

Guessing the Animal

Guessing what animal is being described is not the point of the exercise. (Feel free to have theories and whatnot, but please keep them to yourself so as not to influence the artists.) If you see an entry and think, e.g., "oh that's describing a raccoon"*, and then you create a picture of a raccoon... well, you could have done a perfectly good raccoon at any point and didn't need this framework to do it. So just don't worry about what animal is meant, and do your best to draw (or paint or stitch or whatever else) based on the description! You're not getting ranked on accuracy and there are no prizes forthcoming, so... just have fun with it.

*Example chosen as something that will, for obvious reasons, definitely not be in a 13th-century European bestiary.

Edit after starting to type these things up: some of these are going to be super easy to guess, though, to the point where I don't know how possible it'll be to block out prior knowledge. Sorry about that.

General Procedure

I'm going to schedule a post every Monday (I'm thinking of queuing them for 6pm Eastern Time) with a new entry. It will be the translation of an entry from the Aberdeen Bestiary with all references to the animal's name replaced by a randomly-generated nonsense word. (Henceforth to be referred to as "nonsense-names". I'm Googling* each one before using them so I don't accidentally generate one that actually means something.) These posts will all be tagged maniculum bestiaryposting, so you can follow that tag if you want to make sure you see them.'

*Later Note: Did you know that if you search dozens of nonsense words within a short span of time, Google makes you prove you're not a robot? Repeatedly?

Anyone who wants to draw the critter being described should do so. (You are encouraged to describe your thought process re: why you've depicted it the way you have.) You can put it in its own post, or reblog the description with an image, or however you want to do it. Then tag your art with the nonsense-name I've given to the animal.This will let me and others find it. (You should probably employ copy/paste there to make sure the spelling is the same, since nonsense words are hard to spellcheck.)

A week after posting the bestiary entry, I'll go through that tag and round up all of the art contributed. Then I'll put the images in a big post (or series thereof, considering how many people might participate), along with an @ and a link to your original post.

If you want...

to not have your work included in the round-up post

to have only a link to your post included and not an image

to have me include a link to your website / other social media / etsy shop in addition to or instead of your tumblr

to have other information included alongside your work

anything else along those lines

... then just say so in your post and I will follow your instructions to the best of my ability.

I will also include, at the end of the round-up post, an image of the creature as depicted in the Aberdeen Bestiary and what it is actually called.

All posts I make on this will be collected at https://maniculum.tumblr.com/bestiaryposting so that people can look at previous ones without scrolling through the tag.

Various Notes

I'm going to trim out any religious digressions in the original entries -- bestiary authors had a habit of adding stuff like "and the raccoon is symbolic of god in such-and-such fashion, which teaches us...", and I just don't think that's relevant here.

The entries will also be presented in a random order. This is because they're sorted into categories in the original text, so if I don't change the order we're going to get stuck with, e.g., a few months of All Birds All The Time.

You should all be aware that the animals described are not guaranteed to be, you know, real. There are several entries describing animals that straight up do not exist -- some of which are mythical creatures familiar to most people, others of which are extremely obscure.

Explanations of the animal's name within the entries will be redacted.

If other animals are mentioned within the entries, they will not get replaced with nonsense-names. Originally, I was going to make the switch globally, so that if, e.g., the entry for "raccoon" read "a raccoon is about the size of a possum", and the random generator had decided that a raccoon was a balzikhear and a possum was a flunggrish, the "raccoon" entry would now read "a balzikhear is about the size of a flunggrish". However, I decided that it will cause more problems than it solves to obscure any comparisons to other animals -- so the name-switch is now localized only to the specific entry. A possum is a flunggrish only in its own entry, and remains a possum everywhere else.

I was originally going to do one post for every single entry, but there are a lot of them and they vary wildly in length & quality. So I've cut it down to exactly 52 posts, meaning that if I queue them up for once a week, this will run for roughly a full year.

Most of that cutting-down mentioned above was done by combining a bunch of the really short entries into categories -- the last half-dozen posts in this series will be group entries. You can choose to make art of any of them that strike your fancy, or do a group portrait, or just ignore them --I dunno, I'm not a cop, do what you want.

I did also directly cut some, mostly domesticated animals because there's a somewhat different approach to them based on author and audience familiarity.

So yeah, that should cover everything.

[littlecrittereli]

It's been a long time since I watched Wild Kratts but I didn't even know he had a fandom, I'm so happy, and your story made my dream come true, I would love to create a story like you, but I'm not very good at writing stories What tips would you give to a beginner <3

I don't consider myself a super great author to be honest, I'm much more confident in my illustrations! But as someone who is completely self taught: here are some tips I use when I write my stories! (these may not apply to everyone, but they do help me) Outlines

If I'm writing a plot-based story I make an outline of all the major plot points I want to make and separate them into chapters. I reference this outline when I'm writing a chapter and it helps me meet all my "goals" for that particular chapter! Of course you can be flexible with this. Say one of your plot points dragged out a little too long and you want to save something for the next chapter, you can adjust your outline as you go! Sometimes your idea will change as you write it, and that's okay! revise your outline accordingly. For me, it's handy so I don't end up spiralling completely off the path I intended and lose the conclusion I wanted to have. Here's an example of the outline for my Reprogrammed AU. (Only chapters 1-5 to prevent spoilers for unreleased chapters)

as you can see, it doesn't have to be super formal. This is literally just in my notes app. As long as you can understand and follow your ideas, that's all that matters.

Get a Beta Reader!

I do not actually have a beta reader currently, but sending your writings to someone to proofread is one of the best ways to get genuine feedback. Try to find someone who is also pretty educated on proper grammar. I learned more about proper formatting from a fanfiction beta reader than I did in school im so fr. At the very least, make sure this person is comfortable with giving you constructive criticism. If something reads a little awkward or if a plot point doesn't make much sense/could be solved with an easier method, it's a lot easier for someone to point out when they didn't write the piece.

Study fanfictions/books you enjoy

Honestly... just reading a lot has made me a better writer. You will begin to notice the way authors describe certain feelings or environments, and that can give you insight on how to go about writing your own ideas. If I find an author I really like, I will try to dissect WHY I like them so much. Is it their accurate characterization? Do they describe emotions well? Are their plots engaging? Is their dialogue interesting? Find out what makes their writing so interesting so you can incorporate those traits into your own story. This goes for the way they format their writing as well. For example, I've found I prefer when chapters are around 1k-5k words. Really short chapters can make the story seem choppy when the reader has to constantly click to the next page, it kinda breaks the immersion of the story. Instead I try to use chapter breaks as interesting pausing points for suspense. I love it when authors leave their chapter on a slightly unfinished note. So I'm curious for the next chapter, but also I feel fulfilled with what I've read so far. And I've discovered this by analyzing the stories I enjoy!

And the most important advice I can give.... PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE!!!!

Writing is similar to drawing in the sense that in order to learn, you must DO it. You have to make the shitty stuff before you find out how to make it better! It's honestly just part of the creative process. I still have some short stories I wrote back when I was a preteen and ITS BAD LOL but I needed to go through that in order to learn and grow and be more confident in my storytelling capabilities. And just like illustrations, everyone starts at a different place and everyone's process is different. SO BE PATIENT AND DON'T GIVE UP! Write that story! Even if it's bad, who cares?! You wrote something! And next time, you will write something even better!

[allsadnshit]

I'm struggling so much right now to not stretch myself too thin. I knew when I left my part time coffee job and decided to give my full attention to art and my health it was going to be big change, and I don't want to lose sight of what's important to me as a person and artist in this transition! I feel so riddled with anxiety recently about feeling like I need to stay busy, be always creating, and be making useful plans for the future to use my energy wisely, make meaningful art, and be able to make money on it and I know once I start down the rabbit hole of what will sell, then I've already fallen off what I truly want to do!

I am in the midst of finishing a writing zine with a friend, still selling out cursed girl cookbooks, drafting plans for my next cookbook issue, writing for my Substack, making daily illustrations, wanting to learn more about traditional Chinese medicine, and really wanting to make cursed girl cookbook shirts!!!

It's so much at once and I KNOW I need to prioritize and not just let my heart wander or else I might not get any of it done but it's so hard to structure myself when I've always had a second job that helped me know when to and where to stop.

It's both a good problem because I get to give myself fully to what I really love but also scary because bad days at a job aren't the same as bad days in your own intimate art practice that you depend on! It feels so different and I wasn't sure it would to this degree. And amongst it all it's a huge goal for me to rest because I haven't committed to that since surgery 4 years ago even though I promised myself I would.

It's very scary to do new things!

It's very hard to not get caught up in the wrong motivations when you know the best stuff comes straight from the heart and no where else.

[polarisdelphi]

Back on posting old art I never posted, Frau Schneider, my beloved 🖤

I'm seriously considering turning her into a sticker and slapping it everywhere I need to remember something to do. Drinking water? Frau is there judging me. Writing? Frau is waiting. Sleeping at a decent time? She's at the clock, looking at me with hatred in her eyes.

Jokes aside, this was more of a try on stylized drawing, which I completely suck. Since I studied Schneider's face thoroughly once for another drawing, I figured stylizing him would be easier for me as a first try.

I love his nose HAHAHAHA that's my anchor on his likeness xD

Sketches, breakdowns on how I got here, what I thought on shapes and more on his features - and just general artist blabbering, down below!

It was born from these loose sketches:

And I do like the ~proper~ one too. Took a lot of screenshots of the video's making of to understand his mannerisms when ~in Frau~, and there's a big change between the video and the live versions.

Video is a proper, collected, older woman with a dark side from repressed unfulfilled desires, live one is a brute, angry, harshly dominant one. 100% angry all the time, taking her dogs for a walk 🖤

Keeping some harsh shapes on the first one 'cause we all know she's evil, and some more organic ones on the second one 'cause she's UNHINGED.

(Also, Frau's coat are a thousand little Edelweiss 'cause you know. Schneider, Austria, his wife hahahaha aaaaand I have roots from there too, so I decided to shamelessly slap Edelweiss everywhere xD)

Another interesting thing to note, was trying to keep the male proportions on a female presenting appearance. Because we all learn about better shapes for women, how they usually are ~smaller, softer and more delicate~ than males (please read with sarcasm) but Schneider is still a man in woman's clothing, acting like a woman. So I had to keep in mind what I'd draw if it was just him as himself - big hands, big feet, tall as a fucking tree, very large shoulders, toned arms and muscles, all that. No ~delicate~ features 'cause he's still a man, but in here he's a woman.

I'm not saying I succedeed. But it was a good first try :)

Given I have so many drag queen original characters, it's something I think it was nice to study and have in mind T-T

About his features, like I said, I studied him once 'cause I was trying to go for stylized Live aus Berlin Schneider illustration once, but all I got is: I can draw his likeness from memory now, that's it *cries in incompetence*

I said before, I'm not good at stylizing.

So, his key features are: very slim and small mouth, big nose (gods I love his nose, I'll always say that), kinda small eyes and there's almost no distance to his eyebrows (on the video they paint his brows to make a LOT more arched, almost like original Maleficent), longer face, big and square chin, sharp and high cheekbones. I figured if I kept all that in mind, I'd have his likeness.

That's what I used to go figuring out how to draw Frau like that :)

And why am I blabbering all this?

I just hope it helps other self-taught artists out there who have a hard time finding resources and see other people's drawings and go "oooh man how do I get there?" and the artist always go "I dunno just draw a lot and you will get there :)"

Yes, yes, draw a lot. If you don't practice, you won't learn. But there ARE tools, observation studies, drawing studies and a WHOLE lot of things you can learn from other people to get where you want to faster and easier - but most of these resources are, nowadays, behind a paywall. So I just figured I'll share what I learned and hopefully it'll help someone struggling with the same things I did less than a year ago ;)

[somecallmejohn]

sleepy rose oneshot ideas (like after they confessed)

1.Simon sleeping but every time Asha is nearby, he would unconsciously move closer/cuddle to Asha

2.Simon having nightmares of killing Asha, has a panic attack, Asha calms him down, sleeping together

3.Simon got drunk, unwittingly flirts with Asha with the cheesiest pickup lines

4.Simon being overprotective of Asha and she gradually gets tired of it

can you write them all? I’m ok if you do it one by one. tho if not, what do you think? Good?

Okee... I really like those ideas even as headcanons, but I am gonna try and write just one of them (for now prolly).

I'm more of an illustrator than a writer, but again if I really want to write that queer Disney-esque fairy tale I've been thinking about for a long while, I will hve to practice my writing skills somehow.

Imma go with the second prompt since it's one I've actually thought about before as it is a headcanon of mine that Simon has some trauma from his brief time being brainwashed by Magnifico.

Anyway, enough yapping. It's time for some cringe writing from a wannabe writer.

(P.S. I altered the situation a bit to take place 2 or 3 months after the events of the movie and before Asha and Simon got together.)

(Post-writing note: this took longer than expected and I ended up writing more than I was planning. I also ended up using some headcanons I've shared in asks and sleepy rose headcanon post, which was kinda fun. Anyways hope you like it!)

It was dark and quiet in the deep woods, where only the snapping of twigs and the sprinting steps of a teenage girl could be heard.

Those stepping sounds belonged to Asha, a girl who had just recently found herself wanted for treason against the kingdom of Rosas. And all that for what? Because she believed that everyone deserved to own their wish and have the chance to chase it and make it a reality.

Asha was running as fast as she could. She didn't even dare to look behind her. But alas, all that running was for nothing as she found herself at a dead end. She tried to look for another exit, but it was already too late, for she could see in the shadows the glowing green eyes of the person chasing after her.

Out of the shadows emerged Simon, but no... This wasn't Simon... not anymore, at least. This was the King's loyal knight, his only knight that was a real human being and not an enchanted armor. Aquired by tricking a teenager so desperate to get the missing piece of himself back that he ended up bertraying the person he cared about the most.

"Oh, Asha..." The knight said with a voice that sounded familiar yet completely foreign to her ears as he was heading towards her."The King is waiting for you. It's a shame to leave him waiting, don't you think?"

His eyes were fixated on her and a menacing yet simultaneously apathetic expression was formed on his face.

"Simon, please, this isn't you!" Asha cried."You're under Magnifico's spell! I saw it! Once he put you in this armor, you've not been yourself ever since!"

He was getting nearer and nearer. Almost everything about him was unrecognizable. His posture, the way he moved, his expression even the way he was dressed.

"But, this is me, you see. Magnifico helped me make my wish come true and he could have done the same to you had you been loyal to Rosas."

At that point, he was just a breath away, towering over her.

"Come on Asha, just tell me where the star is and I promise you Magnifico will forgive you and reward you accordingly. You can have the life many dream of and..."

He took hold of her hand and his expression softened a little. It was as if the real Simon was talking now.

"We could be together at last."

Asha's cheeks flushed. She's had feelings for Simon for longer than she can remember and hoped he'd reciprocate them, but this was not the Simon she loved and this was not a deal she was willing to take.

"No! Never!" She exclaimed, pushing him away and attempting to run as far as she could, but she wasn't fast enough and he caught her by the hand almost instantly.

Everything went pitch black.

"I'm sorry it has come to this way, Asha" the knight said right before the sound of a sword being taken out of its case was heard.

"NO!" Simon exclaimed, waking up in cold sweat.

It was that nightmare again.

He was back at the royal kitchen. Everyone was looking at him. He had fallen asleep laying against the wall yet again.

His face went scarlet red seeing everyone's gaze pinned upon him, especially when he saw Asha's concerned expression.

"I-i..." he struggled to think of some excuse "forgot to bring some flour bags."

He then swiftly left the room to get to the pantry for more flour bags despite the kitchen having already a whole pile of them with enough flour to service them for at least a week.

It's been only a couple months since the redheaded teen had been brainwashed to be used as a pawn in the former King's scheme to capture Asha and Star and although it hardly lasted a day, the effects of that brief time were here to stay.

Every time Simon closed his eyes to sleep, the same type of nightmare would be playing in his head. He'd be in the woods with no control of his body or mind, dressed in the armor Magnifico put him in, chasing after Asha and it'd always end with her captured or something worse.

At first, this nightmare would only play at night. Despite his extreme need for sleep, Simon would keep himself awake at night by training for the upcoming Knight tryouts Queen Amaya had announced, to replace the enchanted armors that had lost any magic in them after Magnifico's defeat, and would take nap breaks during the daytime.

This plan had worked for a couple of days before the nightmares returned. He could no longer escape them and that took a toll on him. He got a lot more tired, failed the tryouts and gave up on his wish of being a noble knight.

With the repeating nightmares reminding him of what he did, he even distanced himself from his friends. He couldn't stand being around the same people he had let down, especially Asha, who he so selfishly betrayed.

Simon stayed in the pantry for a few minutes pretending he was looking for the right flour bags to bring back in the kitchen only for him to instantly fall asleep on a pile nearby.

He was back in the woods, dressed in his knightly attire, chasing after Asha. But, at the moment he was about to draw his sword, something different happened. He felt in control again and let go of it before he... woke up.

When he opened his eyes, he was greeted by the sight of Asha nudging him and asking him to wake up.

"Hmph... Asha?" he said groggily.

"Simon... are you alright?" she asked concerned.

But Asha entered his way placing her hand on his chest to stop him.

"Oh! I-i..." he exclaimed and with a forced smile, trying to sound as upbeat and awake as he could, he said,"Yeah, I'm doing great! Just... looking for the right flour bags." he added a fake chuckle as he stood up and grabbed the first two bags he saw before he proceeded to leave.

"Simon..." she repeated compassionately "you've been acting very strangely lately. You're as tired as ever, even more than you were when you gave your wish away to Magnifico, you've been avoiding us and Queen Amaya even told me that you refused her offer for a second chance at the knight tryouts. I thought being a knight was your wish. Why did you give up on that Simon?"

"I-i just ended up changing my mind." he mumbled struggling to wake up fully "Sometimes wishes change and that's what happened with mine."

"I don't believe that. Your wish was so strong you weren't the same without it, you can't have changed it so quickly!"

"Well, I have!" he said coldly and left with no further explanation.

Later that day, just when the sun had begun to set, somewhere deep in the woods at a spot near a lake, there was the redheaded teen who had just dismounted his horse.

His horse wasn't exactly his perse. It belonged to the royal mews, but Simon had nurtured and taken care of it ever since it was just a foal with the help of his father, who worked there. He'd often take it for a ride from time to time with permission from the queen.

Simon loved horse riding. It was his favorite pastime before he'd given his wish to Magnifico and he still loved it after taking it back. It was the only thing that could clear his mind whenever he felt overwhelmed after a day full of tiny nap breaks and the same nightmare playing in his head again and again.

As he let the horse go drink some water from the lake, Simon sat down under the nearest tree and took out his favorite book to read, it was a fairytale book his mother would read to him every night to sleep. He loved the stories about brave knights saving the maidens and he aspired to be just like them. Even if he had given up on his wish, he could still live through his favorite stories, or at least so he said to himself.

Just as he was about to begin reading, he heard stepping noises approaching him.

"Simon?" a familiar voice sounded

"Asha?" he said, surprised to see her "What are you doing here?"

"I was looking for you. You have no idea how worried I and our other friends are about you"

"But, how did you find me?" he asked

"We used to come over here a lot as kids, don't you remember?"

"Oh..." he said, his cheeks turning red "I forgot about that."

"You always loved how quiet it was here." she smiled as she sat next to him "Now tell me. What is going on with you?"

"I told you it was nothing" he said defensively

"Simon..." she placed her hand on his and looked him straight in the eyes "please."

He couldn't help it any longer. It pained him being so secretive and avoiding her and his friends. He wanted it to stop. He wanted the nightmares and the guilt to leave him alone. And he confessed everything about the nightmares and how they've been haunting him for the last few months.

"But Simon, I forgive you" she told him, setting her hand on his shoulder.

"But I don't deserve it!" he cried, tears beginning to form under his eyes. "You trusted me and I betrayed you!"

"And you regretted that and apologized for it and I forgave you. What more is there?"

"I-i don't know... I don't think I deserve to be your friend." he'd finally confessed, looking at the other way.

"Maybe the problem is that you haven't forgiven yourself yet." she suggested, setting her gaze elsewhere as well.

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is that you're so hard on yourself for that mistake you did that even Gabo is concerned about what's going on with you."

"And what if I do "forgive myself" and the nightmares are still in my head? What do I do then?"

"I don't know, but..." she placed her hand on his again and set the other on his cheek to turn his gaze back to her."I'll be here for you"

The two teens kept staring at each other's eyes until Asha's gaze turned to the book Simon was holding.

"What are you reading?" She asked, curiosity filling her eyes.

"Just some fairytales"

"W-would you mind reading them aloud so that I can hear?"

"Sure!"

And so Simon began reading one of his favorite stories as Asha scooched in closer to him.

It didn't take long for the young sleep deprived man to fall asleep once again.

The nightmare played the same way as it always did, but for the second time that day around the end of it, he'd find himself in control again and this time he'd warn Asha about Magnifico's plan and help her go to the castle fast and stop him.

Simon woke up and next to him, Asha was still there and had also fallen asleep next to him with her head resting on his shoulder. The sky had darkened and the moon was up. The horse had even bent down and proceeded to sleep as well.

Simon eventually explained to his other friends about the nightmares and decided to accept the queen's second chance offer and begun training for the next tryouts. He even started taking Asha with him on horse riding sessions and stop by the same spot they fell asleep at where they'd sit to read other stories from the book and take small quick naps together, but this time they'd be home at their time or a little later than that.

He'd thought of waking her up, but ultimately, he ended up going back to sleep next to her. For the first time in a long while there was no nightmare playing in his head.

They stayed there for the remainder of the night and the morning when they returned home needless to say that neither Simon's parents nor Asha's mother were happy about what had happened, but for the two teens it was all worth it in the end, even if he got in trouble at the castle for the horse's longer than expected absence.

The nightmares didn't leave for a while. They came and went, making sleeping hard for Simon, but as time progressed and he began focusing more on his future than his past, they began to fade away until they were gone for good and never returned.

[nothingenoughao3]

Hi!

I´ve been planning on making a hard cover Reanimator fanfic book for a while and i would like to know if i could include Dreams in the Necromancer House after its finished! It would be just one book (not selling it) and i´ll give the proper credits both on the summary and the beggining of the story. Im also thinking about doing an illustration of each chapter and putting there, so there´s that too. If it ends up really happening i plan on posting the progress on my tumblr!

We can talk a bit more about it if you have any regards about the crediting stuff or anything like it, but its ok if you dont like the idea too!

Hope you have a good day!

Hi @camelosuspeito! I am going to reply to you in particular, but my opening is going to be generic in case anybody else has a similar question. You've kind of triggered an unskippable cutscene, so I'll let you know that the answer is yes ahead of time. I hope that's okay, and that you're having a good night/whatever your local time is!

Generally speaking, I can only support fan binding of my works if they are offered free of charge, or are personal copies not for sale.

My reasons for not supporting fan binding for pay for my works in particular are simple. I offer all of my fanfiction free of charge. That does not mean that they are free of labor. I've been writing fic since I was sixteen; I'm now in my forties. I've put roughly two decades of practice into creating fanworks. This doesn't touch upon the original works I've produced in that same timeframe, nor having to learn basic HTML to create websites back in the day to host fanworks at a time when they were regularly banned from mainstream platforms, etc.

Despite all that, I am giving my writing for free. To me, the point of transformative fanwork is creating, developing, and maintaining the fandom, in joy and in suffering. I could charge people a fee to access my Re-Animator essays on some other site. That would be the smart move and my bills would sure appreciate getting paid. I don't do that because I am also poor and I feel it would be unethical to put a paywall between impoverished fans and transformative works. I'll probably create a tip jar here one of these days, but that's all it would be--a tip jar for people who appreciate what I do.

Accordingly, I see people charging over a hundred euros for binding fanfic, and I get a bad taste in my mouth. As far as I can tell, nobody on Etsy is getting their own fanfic bound, nor are folks offering fan bindings of their own works. They are taking the labor of a third party and making money off it, and it's really not clear whether any of the fanwriters whose works are being sold even know whether or not it's happening or consented to it.

It reminds me of how in the mid-2010s, somebody went through my AO3 profile and uploaded a bunch of my Star Trek and Twin Peaks fics as ebooks for sale. That troubled me. If they sold one of my fics, that's only five dollars--but it's pretty much pure profit for them, and so very worthwhile. It sucks offering something for free and having people take advantage of that in the name of their own profit.

And again, this is all just about me and how I feel about my work. Other folks can and will feel differently and that's okay! I'm not passing judgement.

Soooooo, all of that being said, you're not doing that. You are asking to do a fan binding of "Dreams in the Necromancer House" for you, and as you've described it here, that's fine with me! If you still like it after it's finished and you want to have a personal copy of it, go nuts with that! I think crediting me as the author on the cover or author's page would be more than enough, given that it would just be yours.

I think seeing your process for producing it would be very interesting, and so would the illustrations! Feel free to tag me as much as you like when you're ready to get going.

[adrianfridge]

Teen Wolf is a werewolf soap opera horror that gradually changes into a gritty horror thriller. And I’d like to explore that in terms of its campiness.

For me, the campiness is determined by the personality of the villain. I’m going to focus on their theoretical willingness to put on the most flamboyant outfits, but that’s merely an illustration of their vibes.

Season 1 has Peter and Kate, who, if we’re being honest, would both go on stage wearing just the most glitter, feathers, and wig to have an epic lip syncing battle. There would be surprise outfit reveals and at least one would do a split. It would go down in history. 10/10 perfection

Season 2 has Matt and Gerard. Matt would only reluctantly put on an outfit, and it’d be something spandex to emulate the superhero comics he reads. Meanwhile Gerard would be eating up the frenzy that Kate and Peter left behind. His outfit would be more grand than both of them combined. He only pretends he’s retired while being the Final Boss of Drag Race. 9/10 some hesitation to cheer for an incel but grandpa can work those high heels

Season 3A has Jennifer and Deucalion. Jennifer is gothic rock opera chic. She’ll flip her hair while singing soprano in an obsidian gown. And Deucalion? He’s gone mad from losing to Gerard at Drag Race, and now he’s back for a rematch, this time with a BDSM-kink themed outfit to display he’s gone darkside. 8/10 trying a little hard but I can get behind it

Season 3B is the Nogitsune. It’s here when the show begins to get more serious, which I think is the wrong lesson the writing room took from its popularity. The Nogitsune has multiple outfit changes. It is kabuki theater. It is a troll dressed as Stiles while wearing the most bombastic display of practical special effects. There’s a smoke machine running underneath the robe that lights up with each step while a soundtrack plays. 100/10 Megamind would be proud

Season 4 is a mixed bag. It promises a rematch of Peter and Kate, but it doesn’t do either of them justice. Instead they’re pushed to the sideline in favor of a more traditional thriller Benefactor arc. The one highlight is the episode 4x07, Weaponized, which has The Chemist bringing back the pizazz (highly recommended; the episode is practically a one shot with everything you love from the early seasons). 5/10 averages to meh

Seasons 5-6 are entirely dedicated to seriousness.

Season 5A is Theo and the Dread Doctors. Theo is like if you took Matt and then squeezed out any joy. He’d refuse to dress up because he’d feel it’s beneath him. Meanwhile the Dread Doctors, who are already in full Steampunk attire, are doing nothing with it. As stiff as mannequins. All business, no play. They’re just here to get the job done and leave. 3/10 but has the potential

In season 5B we get Valack and the Beast, aka Sebastien. Valack, whose power is to disguise himself as other people, is the type to hate costumes. He’s going to wear an accurate reproduction of a medical professional, and he’s going to be annoying about it. Sebastien tries to be camp but it comes off like a parent incorrectly using lingo to try to be hip around their child. No one wants to see it. 1/10 please stop

Season 6A has… a literal Nazi. And the Ghost Riders, who only know how to walk a cat walk. They’d make great supermodels if their job wasn’t to make people forget they exist. 0/10 I want my money back

Season 6B is just straight up trying to be an allegory for modern day political discourse. There’s also the Anuk-Ite, a creepy-pasta knock-off of the greatest hits. You can’t even look at it without being turned to stone. -100/10 I’d rather fight a muskrat on twatter

Ultimately, my point is you lose much of the dramatic flair after season 3B. For many people, such as myself, it’s a disservice to why I started the show. But for other people it’s a good turn since they prefer the gritty realness. It ends up being one of the many reasons for the split in fandom over the direction of the show. And I can bet money that the movie is going to suck all the glamor out of the Nogitsune in favor of the same sort of straight-laced horror the later seasons embodied. Which is to say some people will love it, and it’s not going to be me or Megamind.

[starchyu]

𝓟𝓮𝓷𝓹𝓪𝓵(𝓼) 𝓦𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓭

Seeking soft like-minded penpal!

            Hoping to find someone with overlapping tastes and interests with interested and passionate in writing and exchanging letters~

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Howdy! My name is Quinn (Doll, Jinx, Ghost, etc~) I’m in the US and I’m looking for a penpal! I’m hoping to find someone with similar tastes and interests to me so we can talk about all sorts of wonderful things together! I’m AuDHD, have some other things on the side, and a chronic pain condition that keeps me from working a “normal” 9-5 job so I freelance and do graphic design/illustrator work which usually ends up being commission work for people!! I’m passionate about art and have a wide plethora of interests that I would like my penpal to match up with to some degree! 

ABOUT ME Born in the US. English speaking. I was born in Texas before relocating a bit north. I’ve been penpalling semi-regularly since 2013 and really enjoy what I do. I sometimes will record the process of preparing a letter to post to my very small tiny youtube channel and use it as a way to preserve the letters i send out? I do a lot of decorating so it’s a way to preserve these pieces of “interactive art” that I send to people~ I’m a student currently in school for graphic design and someday I’d like to become a tattoo artist but I don’t know if I will ever be able to accomplish that goal because of my joint pain.  I’m hoping that if someone answers this they’re wanting the same things I am? I’m pretty prompt with snail mail replies and would love a semi-regular exchange or updates if you expect for letters to get sent out slower? 

Hobbies Sewing - crafting - journaling - writing (rp and fanfic, but some original things on the side!) - embroidery - art!! I use a lot of different mediums from watercolor to oil pastels!! Someday I hope to get into model making or miniature making à la “Studson Studios”!!! - Collecting (teacups, stamps, stickers, stationery, postcards~) - reading! - character/oc design~

Interests & Passions This is going to be a longer section, sorry in advance!! A lot of my interests rattle around in my head and because of the autism I cling to these things feverishly. They all overlap and I talk about them obsessively, tbh? So if these things and vibes aren’t something you enjoy please just skip over this~  “Cozy” Gaming ♡ Genshin Impact (wanderer main, thats my pookie) ♡ BG3 ♡ Anime (specifically magical girls and romance! I love a select few shonen anime such as Naruto!) Big favs include Naruto, Death Note, TBHK, Horimiya, and Orange just to name a few ♡ JFASHION!; I *love* Gyaru and EGL specifically and also enjoy mori kei quite a bit! But I love fashion in general and am always eager to talk about style and clothing (especially on a budget!!!) ♡ MUSIC!!! I’m very particular about my music tastes. I listen to a lot of jrock/jpop, rock, metal, nu metal, post hardcore, EDM, house, trance, and techno! I also love a lot of music that was very popular circa 2010s youtube~ ♡ Vocaloids!! ♡ BDSM/Kink lifestyles~ ♡ Dolls! Specifically BJDs, though ♡ Ballet ♡ Renaissance and baroque art ♡ Dungeons and Dragons and TTRPGs in general ♡ Tea ♡ Bridgerton ♡ Period Peace romances~ ♡ Romance in general ♡ Fairies ♡ angels ♡ new age beliefs and practices ♡ journaling ♡ therian/otherkin identities ♡ ghosts/spirits/paranormal/occult things ♡ vegetarianism/veganism ♡ photography 

If I had to sum myself up in a few words I suppose I’d say something like… “Dusty regal doll left on a shelf or in a glass box, haunted by an ancient spirit of questionable origins.” Or something along those lines. Sounds a bit cheesy but again, these things are important to me!!

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Style Preferences I tend to send wildly different letters. I specialize in “themed” letters, though. I love to decorate pertaining to certain things- Seasons, media that I and my penpal like, or even focusing on specific colors and color palettes. If everything before this sounds good, and you do end up reaching out? Please let me know what kind of letters you like the most! What are your favorite styles? You can probably get an idea of my tastes from my blog so I’ll spare the ramble. 

IDEAL PENPAL Above 20 years old Long term! Snail mail *and* email penpals welcome!! Though I do prefer snail mail~ LGBTQIA+ friendly. Someone inclusive who is also maybe a part of the community. Any gender, identity, etc welcome.  Someone open for heavier conversations who are looking to form a genuine friendship?

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

So! If any of this sounds good to you/is interesting? Or if you have questions, comments or concerns, feel free to DM here? Or you can reach me at,,,

Starchyu@gmail.com  

[guardian-of-fun-times]

Three Tips on Writing a Novel That Aren't Complete Bullshit

Today, I spent a good many hours scouring the internet for tips on improving my writing. You know, useful and practical suggestions for someone who has written a bit and wants hints on some of the finer points of writing—you know, as opposed to just wanting to learn how to get publishers interested in the latest Hunger Games or Twilight knock-off. Well, other than the two masters of storytelling—Stan Lee and Stephen King—I found nothing. I thought to myself, “Kris, even you could offer better writing advice than this!” And so I have. Here are three non-subjective tips for the beginning writer.

Tip 1: Pay Attention to “Point of View” (POV)

The first mistake I made in writing my novel, and one that I have seen in every single beginning writer's work that I have edited since, is that I did not really pay attention to POV and narration. When telling a story, it is important to remember two things. First, nobody wants God to tell the story. In a room filled with a dozen people, there is so much going on inside everyone's head and in their actions that it would fill a book in about an hour. And when there is simply too much going on, the reader ceases to care and is very confused. After all, if the reader was God, he or she would not spend their time listing every monotonous detail of what they were seeing, but instead finding something more interesting to watch—which brings me to point number two. Pick a focus character (or one at a time) and tell the story through that person's eyes. This way, readers will pick up on the important details, while also having a single-focus lens to look through. If this doesn't make sense, imagine how much better a movie is with just one camera's perspective used at a time, as opposed to the six of them all being played simultaneously.

Tip 2: Outline Your Story

I used to prefer just writing free-style, as most writers begin doing. But, when you do that, two major things happen. First, with the lack of direction, you stop caring where you are going with the story since there is no dramatic force that can force you along pointless meandering. Second, even if you do not lose interest, your plot will be a noodle-like mess with no structure, and your audience will lose interest—just like with a television series with no end or destination in sight. Even if you love the characters, you eventually just give up watching because it becomes a dull act of voyeurism where you are just watching a vignette of a life without any actual story. If a solid outline is too restricting, try using the 3-Act Story Structure en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three-ac… and just write a paragraph describing each Act. This structure will turn the pasta into a carefully molded form until you find yourself eating a Lasagna instead of soggy, wet noodles.

Tip 3: Don't Overpower Your Characters

At the most basic level, reading a novel is an escape from the world around us. We want the worlds we create in our stories, as well as the characters, to be the embodiment of the ideals we wish were reality. We create flawless heroes or perfectly flawed heroes, and villains that embody all the evil we see around us, which we wish could be defeated. However, to do so turns your story into a poor sermon, and a badly biased one at that. Not only that, but the audience immediately begins to hate your characters, unless they are the brainwashed sort of readers who think that Dr. Manhattan was the hero of “Watchmen” or that being a hero when you are invulnerable and beloved by those around you means that you are “good” or have some sort of depth of character—as opposed to being a fascist with an old-fashioned set of principals that you impose on the world (any other Lex Luthor fans in the house?). Instead, you should seek to create characters that illustrate the complexities and flaws in everything, even and especially in your own moral code. You want to create real characters for your audience to believe in and empathize with. In practice, you should be able to name off three things that you genuinely admire your villains for, as well as three things you genuinely despise about your heroes—giving them flaws to overcome. And avoid the pseudo-flaws that plague literature (the hero who is just too kind for his own good, or the hero whose traumatic past had made her into a hardened bitch with a secret heart of gold). Doing this creates real characters that your audience can truly escape through and even learn genuine lessons from—making you, the writer, the real hero of the story.