#will edit as needed to take care of technical issues

[naamahdarling]

Edit: Thank you all so, so much. I am incredibly moved and incredibly grateful for everything you all have done. Donations, signal boosts, kind words. We can cover their food for at least one month. Anything sent from here out is most welcome and will go towards their needs, but the food crisis is past for now!

The extra will be held until Raleigh sees the specialist on the 11th and either put towards vet bills or used to get him more of his stinky wet food.

----

Guys, we REALLY need help paying for cat food. This is not normally an issue, they come first, but a lot of bad shit happened this month and it has literally taken everything we had. I have tried my hardest to stretch their food to the end of the month but the boys, all three, are out of scrip food TOMORROW.

I'm so sorry. I don't want to be doing this.

It isn't helped by the fact that their food has shot up in price so much I can't believe it.

Please if you can help we would be so grateful. Just five bucks. My boyfriend's PayPal is theothershea@gmail.com.

We need a total refill on Dried Pickle Man/Sid tummy care kibble, and hopefully a month of wet food for Raleigh, which is around $300 for it all. That sadly isn't an error. That isn't even touching the cost of their vet plans and vet debt, which are another $300, and we are behind by about $100 on the vet plans. But all we really need is most of that $300 for food.

The boys can't be off their scrip food. Sid becomes violently ill (I had to buy hospital biohazard spill absorber for when he throws up) with even a little regular food, and Dried Pickle Man eats the same food he does. For Raleigh, well, he's dying. He needs to be kept comfortable for what time he has left and without this food he develops extremely painful and very dangerous urinary crystals very fast and without wet food he can't eat without severe pain in his mouth. We are trying to fix his teeth but need clearance from a specialist which we cannot get until July. He has already been off his scrip food for a couple of days.

We have gotten along this far via Patreon every month, which pays for a lot of the cat stuff, but PayPal and Patreon are holding over $700 of our money due to some sort of technical issue and I don't know when that can be resolved. Without it, we will have nothing in either bank account by the end of the month. Like. Nothing.

We need help. Badly.

Again, my boyfriend's PayPal is theothershea@gmail.com.

All money will go to him to get food for the cats and pay for their monthly plans and medical debt.

This is Raleigh, who will take your fingers and kiss them if you hold your hand out. Please at least help us get wet food for him so he can eat without pain while he is still here to hold my hand.

(If Raleigh does pass before his food runs out, we can easily return the remaining cans and put that money toward the cost of the euthanasia.)

(Reference, reference. These foods cost the same everywhere I can find, and have gone up in price a lot because greedflation, which is a big part of why paying is suddenly more of an issue.)

[caffeinelemur]

Stolitz Communication Styles

I feel like I need to talk about this.

Stolas’ high education and verbal gymnastics, versus Blitzø’s lack of equivalent education, dyslexia, and difficulty expressing emotions, especially through words. Because it plays a huge part in why they haven’t been, and still aren’t, communicating effectively. Also both of them are neurodivergent as fuck and communication is a bitch for us anyway.

Specifically, this is a dive into that different classes/mindsets dynamic, leading up to a look at that text conversation at the end of Western Energy, and how it leads into their possible growth.

From the very start of the series, Blitzø shows that he has difficulty with writing/spelling and prefers verbal communication. (Even if we look outside the instagrams, which are not technically canon.) The first episode has the billboard that was entirely speech-to-text and not proofread, (he’s too uncomfortable writing that big of a message out, and he thought it was easier to just say it, and was thus not equipped to proofread or edit it, as that would mean he was capable of knowing how to write it out correctly in the first place), his text messages and notes are generally short and often full of typos and phonetic spelling, and his whiteboard is usually covered in doodles and small attempts at writing that varies in levels of spelling prowess. He uses pictographs to help in proving his point or explaining his thought process. He has trouble expressing himself verbally, as his true feelings are expressed through actions, but his direct, vulgar, and often angry or insensitive wording and tone make it difficult for most people to see past this to his actual true feelings, (not to mention he often lies to others and to himself about those anyway). Issues with tone and blunt speech are a big thing with neurodivergent people, autistic and ADHD people especially, of which I think Blitzø is both. Stan an AuDHD king.

Stolas is rich, highly educated, and spent much of his life, especially early on, reading books instead of socializing. His house basically doubles as a library. He said himself that he “loves words”, and got excited about reading legal documents. He uses flowery, posh language and carefully talks around other people using this skill. His emotionally abusive past, both with his father and with Stella, make him a careful people-pleaser, and so he’s constantly giving others the upper hand in a conversation, more give than take, in attempts to not anger or have his intentions misunderstood and then incite said anger. A common thing in both abuse victims and neurodivergent people, especially autistic people, which Stolas clearly is. He does also have issues with tone and knowing when he should and shouldn’t say certain things, and he can often misunderstand others’ points and questions, and then answers or responds too bluntly or literally. Hashtag Just Autism Things.

Blitzø is an imp, the lowest class alongside hellhounds, and was raised in a circus. He clearly did not grow up wealthy in any respect (as his father resorted to selling his son and stealing from the fucking Ars Goetia so quickly, though that could also be attributed to just being living trash), nor is he particularly affluent now, as his small apartment has literally one bedroom, for Loona, and he sleeps on the couch. He outright says he can’t afford art classes. He hasn’t had the same level of educational opportunities as Stolas. On top of that, he’s also dyslexic, based on how, when he does write, it’s either written phonetically, as he would say the word, or he gets letters flipped around. He can write coherently, he’s not illiterate, but usually only when he tries really hard. He mixes capitals and lowercase in the same word sometimes. He’s even worse at texting than he is at writing by hand, with many typos, and resorting to text-speak abbreviations and emojis to lessen the amount of time he has to take trying to type shit out, and, again, doesn’t proofread.

Taking all of this into account, Blitzø is not going to understand a lot of what Stolas says when he uses larger words and talks around a point, especially since, unlike Stolas most of the time, Blitzø is very direct and uncensored when he talks (as in, no brain-to-mouth filter, but also he uses vulgarity in place of more eloquent speech), and when he is trying to say things with actual forethought, he ends up stuttering and has trouble finding the right words (ADHD brain fail ftw), and then gets angry at himself, and occasionally takes it out on others too (poor Moxxie). Stolas tries to talk around the point and backtracks his own words even more in stressful or emotional situations, giving more ground to the other, and this difference in stress response plays a part in their misunderstanding and inability to see from the other’s perspective.

In the first episode, during Stolas’ inopportune phone call, Blitzø thinks he’s being insulted when Stolas uses the word “grimoire,” because he doesn’t know it and always jumps to this conclusion, then has to get Stolas to stop using flowery language to talk around the point by telling him to “stop using your fancy ass rich people talk,” and Stolas has to change the way he’s been speaking to be more direct and clear. (He doesn’t retain this information for later, sadly).

All of this, to talk about the post-Ozzie’s text conversations. We know several things now:

1) Blitzø is not good with spelling and is more comfortable using pictographs to make his point, which you can’t do in a text. He’s also uncomfortable with honest emotional expression and has problems with tone.

2) Stolas uses overly flowery and complicated language to express himself, leading to paragraphs of talking around the main point in an attempt to explain his meaning, often to the extent that it’s extremely unclear what the point is that he’s actually trying to get to. This gets worse when he’s trying too hard to express himself or is thinking too much about the other person’s response.

3) They both have little experience with conversation of an emotional nature that’s not coming with some sort of protective front (Stolas’ open-ended people-pleasing statements, Blitzø’s use of false anger and vulgarity to push people away), so when they do try to say something without the mask, the other is unequipped for the change and misunderstands the intentions, especially when it’s through text.

Blitzø is uncomfortable with writing and especially with texting, and so says very little, using short abbreviated text-speak and emojis to express himself, like he would with his drawings. Stolas overexplains and writes paragraphs of vague statements and loquaciousness in an attempt to get a point across. These are very different approaches to the situation, and from the other’s perspective they come across differently than they intend, due to the conflicting communication styles.

So.

In the text conversations we see in Western Energy, Blitzø says very little, and doesn’t initiates the conversation. Stolas sends walls of text, overexplaining and going back and forth on his intent and the purpose of the text.

Now, we know that Stolas is trying to give Blitzø space and options, and clearly cares a lot about his feelings, and is going out of his way to make sure he’s comfortable with the situation. In doing so, he gives him several outs, minimizes the entire experience at Ozzie’s at his own expense (and therefore Blitzø’s, but he doesn’t understand that yet), and pokes at the idea of talking emotionally far too soon for Blitzø, who is freshly re-traumatizing himself from said experience at Ozzie’s.

Stolas, from his own perspective, is giving so much and getting very little in return (a common theme in his life). He would see this lack of reciprocity in communication as lack of interest or being upset. A common thing irl, it’s easy to read a “K” after a long emotional message as a negative or indifferent response, regardless of the other party’s true feelings. (Which is possibly why a lot of people get upset on Stolas’ behalf in this moment, thinking Blitzø doesn’t care as much about Stolas as Stolas does him. It’s a common thing to experience. It’s not true, though.)

Meanwhile, Blitzø already hates writing, is bad at expressing himself in general, and reads into everything as negative. He thinks that when someone says something he doesn’t fully understand that they’re insulting him or making fun of him, or he misunderstands the intention and wording to be an insult (tonal and indirect or vague speech issues), like with that first phone call with Stolas, the “that’s what she said” joke Loona made, and Crimson’s mention of hearing things about him. He has a lifetime of evidence to back up this thought process. He is constantly demeaned and insulted by larger Hell society, and was treated as unworthy and lesser since childhood. He also just fucking hates himself and blames himself for everything. He’s not gonna suddenly gush his feelings, especially over text. He’s also gonna read into others’ words extremely negatively, until the true meaning is explicitly explained to him. Which isn’t very likely in a text conversation, when he’s not going to ask for proper clarification and the other party can’t tell that he’s misconstruing the intention and so doesn’t know they need to explain more anyway.

So, he isn’t going to initiate a text conversation unless it’s for a serious reason. He clearly doesn’t use it as a method of conversation as much as a quick way to get in touch with other people and exchange information (ex- his seemingly “impossible to misunderstand” text to Loopty in C.H.E.R.U.B. & his conversation about the portal with Millie in Seeing Stars). In Blitzø’s eyes, Stolas says "hey this is/isn’t happening", and he says "ok got the info" and he moves on from there. Information exchange. Then Stolas starts trying too hard, after Ozzie’s, to take his feelings into account without fully understanding Blitzø’s feelings to begin with, and starts backtracking and talking around the point again. He already got Blitzø’s reply, but then backtracks, which doesn’t give Blitzø the direct information he needs, leading to him misunderstand the proffered options as a dismissal instead of a clear confirmation with the option for him to refuse. Blitzø already is going to have issues reading/fully understanding the long wordy messages Stolas sends, he isn’t going to understand the nuance that Stolas’ specific phrasing is trying to say, and is going to see a “but you don’t have to/only if you want” attempt at giving him autonomy and boundaries, as a “don’t/I don’t want you to” full negation.

Stolas is also downplaying their experience at Ozzie’s, which is not only negating his own traumatic experiences with being shamed and insulted (not the healthiest mindset), but also minimizes Blitzø’s feelings and experience then as a result. Blitzø is going to see this as confirmation that it wasn’t as important/emotionally painful to Stolas as it was to Blitzø. Stolas making light of a situation that started a breakdown for Blitzø just proves to Blitzø that he’s the one overreacting, and that Stolas does find him less important, as the entire situation was already about Stolas valuing him less, in his eyes.

Stolas trying to overexplain and backtrack in the lack of access to Blitzø’s own thoughts is hurting them both in this situation. None of his pushing and flip-flopping is going to make Blitzø more eager to initiate a conversation or respond more, especially through a form he’s uncomfortable with using. And this makes Stolas feel unheard and undervalued, which leads to him try even harder, which leads to Blitzø shutting himself off even more, and so on. A lovely miscommunication feedback loop.

And knowing all of this is what makes that last text so important.

Blitzø initates the conversation for the first time. He writes what is, for him, a full sentence, with an emoji. He’s expressing himself as best he can, and is showing his actual feelings in the message. He’s going out of his way to say something to Stolas.

Which then… Stolas overwhelms him with more emotions and words. He’s not comfortable with emotional conversation and too much at once would freak him out, and the immediate upfront honest thoughts Stolas sends in the wake of Blitzø’s own emotional expression aren’t what he necessarily needs or wants to deal with, especially so soon after that worldview-shattering realization, the following guilt spiral, and the subsequent opening up that the first text is.

Yet he then, in spite of these hurdles, starts to reply.

But he gives up.

We don’t know for sure what he was going to say, but an easy read of his thoughts would be: he tried to express his feelings again in some way, was failing to do it right, was overwhelmed with feelings he didn’t know how to handle, and angrily gave up. Probably cursing himself out for even trying.

It’s not callous or uncaring or lacking reciprocity. It’s the full opposite. He’s trying so hard, but failing again. He cares so much and is incapable of expressing it verbally and unable to receive similar care in return.

Look back to the other time he tried this hard to write something emotional. The letter for Fizz. The love letter. And see how that situation went? He got overwhelmed, angry at everything and at himself for thinking he could try at all, and it all ended in fucking disaster. That he blames himself for. That he hates himself for. But here he tried to do it again anyway, while thinking, again, what happened to Stolas was his fault. That one message means so fucking much.

To Blitzø, the idea of visiting Stolas in the hospital was out of the question entirely, and him being asked to so immediately and candidly would make his guilty brain fall over itself even more. He’s never been allowed to visit his loved ones in the hospital, and the entire reason they were hospitalized to begin with was because of Blitzø, so how could this situation be any different? He wasn’t allowed to visit Fizz or Barbie, people who at least at one point he believed cared about him, so he’s definitely not going to be allowed to visit Stolas, who he already thinks doesn’t really give a shit.

That text was the best he could do at that time.

To really communicate effectively, these two need to sit down in front of each other and actually explain where they’re coming from. The lack of knowledge of the other’s position and situation, both in their past and currently in this relationship, is hurting them, and making understanding each other more difficult. The class difference and the differences in upbringing, despite both having garbage fathers and fucking meeting each other as children, are impeding their understanding and view of the other. Both Stolas’ obliviousness toward the actual differences in station and opportunity between him and imps as a whole, and inability to realize Blitzø’s personal difficulties with communication (based in the same place he’s blind to), and Blitzø’s (valid) disdain for the upper class and his view of the stronger, and especially of Stolas, as too good and important to bother with him and too powerful to feel actual pain, are the things they need to fucking address.

Blitzø already got this worldview fucked with, between seeing Stolas worry so much over his daughter, and then actually getting badly hurt. He now knows Stolas can care, and that he can feel pain, and that makes him at least peripherally aware that he’s able to be emotionally hurt.

By Blitzø.

Stolas, meanwhile, is vaguely at the point of comprehending he holds more power in their dynamic because of their differences in status, and him holding the key to Blitzø’s entire business and livelihood. He now knows Blitzø didn’t think he wanted anything other than sex, because of his hasty and overly selfish attempt at keeping him around. And it was a sex deal! He realizes he was wrong for holding that over Blitzø and that his actions and words in the past helped cause the misunderstanding that he didn’t care for Blitzø past getting sexual favors.

Stolas is gonna try to fix this power imbalance by giving up the entire premise of their current relationship, in the vain hope Blitzø will understand and then reciprocate his actual feelings, while Blitzø is now vaguely trying to actively prove he gives a shit about people, even while unsure of Stolas’ feelings toward him, and the result of these intentions clashing is gonna be a goddamn mess, unless miraculously they can communicate around the inevitable misunderstanding.

Please somebody let them explain themselves and have the other fucking listen.

They both love each other, but are fucked up from trauma and are neurodivergent, so they express themselves differently and can barely figure out their own shit, let alone explain it to the other. Get therapy and try new communication styles.

But they are slowly learning. They have the tools and ability to figure this out if they both try. It’s not futile. It just might take some fuck ups and more time to fully get there.

Sincerely, an AuDHD emotional abuse victim that sees themself in both of these idiots and wants to scream.

[storm-angel989]

Outside the office Part Four

Hi all! Part Four- hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it! That is to say- quite a bit!

“What do you mean, you can’t make it?” Valentino asked in exasperation. “Neither of you?”

Both Velvette and Vox shook their heads no. I stood next to the couch, feeling both frustrated and embarrassed at my alleged need for a bodyguard. This is something that would have literally never happened back home. I could take care of myself- not that anyone would believe me. 

“I have a meeting- I can’t miss it.” Vox explained.  

“And I scheduled this fashion show months ago. You two will be fine. Just stick to him like glue, you hear me?” Velvette replied, turning towards me. 

“Wouldn’t it be better if she went with one of you? I have work to do too, you know. I don’t go out every night just for fun.” Valentino paced the foyer. 

“I could just- stay home.” I said softly, wishing I could sink into the floor. “I can take care of myself, you know.” 

“I think the fuck not.” Velvette shooed her hand at me. “Don’t be absurd. No reason to spend the night alone. The issue is safety- you staying here by yourself won’t solve that issue, and  I can’t have you next to me during the show.”

“And I don’t trust the demons I’m meeting with.” Vox added, his voice a touch softer. “But that isn’t your fault.” 

Valentino sighed. “Fine. Then the safest place is with me tonight. Princessa, I need you to stick by me like glue though, hm?” He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “But first, dinner. Since it’s just us, any requests?”

“Alright, so it's settled. I’ll see you back here tonight. I doubt I’ll make it out.” Vox said, turning and hitting the elevator button. 

“Same. Just stick by Val and you’ll be fine.” Velvette winked at me. 

They stepped into the elevator and the door closed after them. Valentino looked at me expectantly. 

“Any thoughts on what you might like to eat?”

I shrugged. “What are my options?”

“It’s hell. Literally anything you can think of. What do you like, princessa?”

“Pasta.” I shrugged. “That’s always a safe bet.”

“Fine. I know just the place.” Valentino pulled out his phone and punched a few numbers in. He spoke quickly and when he hung up, he turned to me. “Come, mi amor. ” 

As we rode down the elevator together we chatted lightly about what I had done that day. Between the edits for Vox and the modeling for Velvette, my day had begun early and hadn’t ended until just before the realization that Vox and Velvette had events that night. 

“What about you? What did you do all day today?” I asked out of curiosity. 

“The usual, nothing interesting princessa.” He replied dismissively. 

I wasn’t surprised by his answer. Over the past few months Valentino rarely discussed the inner workings of his day. Unlike Vox or Velvette who vented whenever the opportunity arose, Valentino remained strangely silent when it came to his work. 

We arrived quickly and Valentino guided me through the doors, hooking his arm in mine. 

“Just stay within my eyesight tonight, and everything will be fine.” He assured me as we took our seats. “Wine?”

I accepted and he poured me a glass. The waiter brought out two full plates and I dug in.

“So tell me, Princessa. You’ve been here a few months now, and I still don’t know what brought you here in the first place.” He reached over and refilled my wine glass. “Care to share?”

I stopped eating. “Lucifer didn’t tell you?”

He shook his head. “No. That’s why I’m asking you, babydoll. It will stay among us, I assure you.”

“It isn’t a secret. Or at least, I didn’t think it was.” I took a deep breath. “You know Lucifer is technically my biological uncle. My mother is- was Lilith, his sister. She married my father, who is- er, was, the head of the extermination unit in heaven.”

I paused and tried to read the expression on his face. 

“Go on, love.” He prompted calmly. 

I hesitated, a cold, uneasy feeling washing over my insides. I didn’t like to talk about it, but he brought up a good point. I had been there long enough and knew the V’s well enough that sharing my story couldn’t cause any harm. 

 “I didn’t know Lilith was my mother until right before I came down here.” I began slowly. “Lucifer filled me in on her death my first night here. Shortly after I was born, a band of angels got together and slaughtered her. When I was growing up, I was told she died in childbirth, and beyond that it just wasn’t talked about.” I took a deep breath. “So it was just Dad and I growing up, and he…he was tough. He had to be, to hold his position and raise a kid. So I grew up learning what he taught his soldiers- exercise, movement, fighting. Contrary what Lucifer believes,  I can fight- and I can fight pretty well too.” 

Valentino nodded and gave me an encouraging smile as he waited for me to gather my thoughts. The pang of sadness struck me and I took a gulp of wine, willing it to wash the sadness away. 

“About a year ago, the power structure in heaven began to shift. The exorcist regime as my father ran culled sinners with Lucifer’s input. That is to say Lucifer chose the worst of the sinners down here, and sentenced them to death himself. As the hierarchy shifted, another angel came to the forefront, calling for a new order. An order where angels had the final say.” I paused and drained the rest of my glass. 

Valentino wordlessly handed me a glass of water before refilling my cup. I took a sip but set the glass down, drinking down more wine as I prepared to say the next part. 

“The night before I came here, my father called me into his office. Lucifer was waiting for me. My Dad told me everything- how my mother was a demon, and as such I was half demon. He told me he kept it hidden for the longest time to keep both himself and me safe. Heaven wouldn’t accept a half angel, and in their eyes, my father committed an egregious sin. The people coming into power had made a connection between the demon they slaughtered twenty five years ago, and my existence. I begged my father to let me stay, begged him to let me fight.” I rubbed my eyes, biting back tears. “He refused. Lucifer dragged me through the portal and that was the last time I saw my father. Later that night, Lucifer dropped the bomb- my father was gone, and a new government had risen to power. And they wanted me dead, alongside my so-called traitor of a father.” 

“Princessa.” Valentino said softly. 

My glass was empty and I took the bottle from across the table, refilling my cup as I tried to control the trembling that threatened my voice. “And do you want to know what the worst part is? I could have stayed. I could have fought, I could have made a difference. And instead, I left like a coward. I let Lucifer take me instead of standing my ground. And now, my father is dead because of it.” 

Valentino reached across the table, taking both my hands in his. “It sounds more to me like your father saved you. Angels cannot live down here for longer than twenty four hours. He knew he couldn’t run- but as a half angel, you could.” He paused. “I’m sorry, princessa, for your loss.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, willing the mental wall I had spent so long trying to build to come up again. To shut out the pain. I exhaled slowly, willing myself to disassociate from the memory. I would have drank more wine, but his hands held both of mine firmly. 

“There isn’t anything I can do about it now. But Valentino, that’s why I’m here. That’s why Lucifer left me with you. And it pisses me off that he didn’t make you aware of the danger you’re in. They killed my father, what is to stop them from coming after you next?” 

He smiled. “Princessa, they may try. But we have a much, much stronger advantage simply by being in hell. Add in the amount of security around you, and I assure you that we are not the ones you should be worried about. We are here to keep you safe from all dangers- be it angels, or a more immediate threat- the sinners and demons who reside in hell. Tell me, princessa, did you feel safe walking the streets of heaven when you lived there?”

I stared at him. “Of course.”

“Would you help someone if they asked for it?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?” I hoped the offense was evident in my voice. 

“Because that attitude in hell would get you killed in a second, princessa. You grew up in a trusting environment. You didn’t have to think twice about helping someone, nor worry about underlying motivations that person may have. Down here, things are not so simple. There is a reason hell exists.” He let go of my hands and gently took the wine glass away from me. “Don’t think we believe you are weak- you have made it very clear to us that you are strong. And the past you shared sheds light on many of the questions that have arisen during our time together.”

“Questions? Questions like what?” I asked. 

“Your gym routine, for one. I’ve never met someone so dedicated to a rigorous, daily two hour workout. Your writing and reading skills for another. Some of the documents you edited were mine- and I am impressed by the analytical way you get your point across. Put that together with your personality, and it makes sense that you have a military-like background.” 

I felt my cheeks flush- be it from the wine or the embarrassment was beyond me. Valentino stood up and offered me his hand. 

“Come princessa. Let us walk away from this discussion and enjoy the night together, shall we?”

I nodded and accepted his hand, the feeling of relief washing over me.  We arrived at the club in record time, and made our way through the entrance. Although Valentino had moved past our conversation, the cold feeling of guilt still weighed heavy in my chest. I sat at the table and drank, feeling Valentino’s eyes on me even as he moved throughout the room. I quickly lost count of how many glasses of wine I drank, trying to wash down the sadness that threatened to consume me. I would not cry. My father didn’t tolerate crying. This shouldn’t be any different. 

“It’s time to go home, babydoll.” Valentino said, walking up to me. 

I stood up and the room spun. I grabbed the table to steady myself and concern washed over his features. He tilted my chin so our eyes met. 

“Come, princessa.” He said gently, taking me by the arm. “I’ve got you.” 

We somehow ended up back in the limo and I snuggled next to him, the feeling of safeness and stability settling over me. I laid my head on his shoulder.  He looked down at me and smiled. Butterflies joined the mixed feelings in my belly and I wriggled myself closer to him. He bent his head down, his lips hovering above mine.  

I leaned in and he froze and pulled away, shaking his head. 

“No, princessa. Not when you have had too much to drink.” He said gently. He pulled me to his lap and stroked my hair, guiding my head to his chest. 

“But Val,” I heard myself whine in protest. “I…you make me feel safe.”

“Princessa. Every part of me would like nothing more than to cover you with kisses and make sure that you never felt unsafe again. But until you are able to consent- sober and able to consent- I will not.” His hand paused on my head. “Close your eyes and go to sleep.” 

“But Val.”

I felt his hand slide down to my shoulder and he rubbed my back. “Tomorrow morning, princessa. I promise. We will talk about this.” 

Darkness fell over me until I felt the limo stop. I tried to get up, embarrassment and offense flooding my body as I realized he had turned me down.  I tried to pull myself out and stumbled. I felt his arms around my waist, steadying me before lifting me up off the ground. 

“I can walk.” I mumbled against him.”You don’t have to help me.” 

“If you think for one second I’m going to let you fall on your face, you have another thing coming.” He cradled me to his shoulder as he carried me inside. “Just so you know, I’m not leaving you by yourself tonight.” 

“I’m sorry.” I mumbled in response as he carried me out of the elevator and onto our floor. “I can walk. My bedroom is that way.”

He ignored me and part of me realized he was carrying me down towards his room. He pushed open the door, holding me with one hand and the next thing I knew, I was sitting on his bed. 

“Arms up,”  he commanded. “Come on princessa. Help me out here. This is usually Vox’s job.”

I half heartedly lifted my arms up and he yanked a tee shirt over my head, guiding my arms through. I felt a tug around my top and heard the fabric rip. He pulled the remains of my outfit out from underneath the tee shirt. I stood up, the fabric falling to my knees. I tried to pull off my pants, struggling with the too tight buttons. He gently pulled my hands to the side and in a second, my pants were around my ankles. I stumbled as I shook them off. 

“Back to bed,” he said sternly, rolling me on my side. “Just like that. Good girl.”

“I’m okay Val.” I protested. 

I felt him lay next to me. “You’re not. I’ve been around enough to know the difference between a drinking to forget kind of drunk, and the I’ve had too much fun kind of drunk.” He leaned over and brushed the hair out of my eyes. “Princessa, you are very much the former.” 

“I’m sorry.” I whispered. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for. You’re safe here. I promise. Now go to sleep.” His voice was soft, almost soothing. 

“Yes, Valentino.” I mumbled as I closed my eyes. 

I felt him tighten his grip ever so gently before sleep washed over me. 

[k-s-morgan]

I can’t imagine what your going through right now, but please be safe and alive.. stay strong my friend

Another ask: i hope you're ok. please post a sign of life on your tumblr soon

Another ask: Katrin I'm so sorry, are you ok?

Another ask: I couldn’t sleep are you okay

Another ask: It’s been three days are you okay

Another ask: You look so tired please sleep and don’t stress over the chapter we love you

Asks from @vacueabissi: I hope you and your family and loved ones are safe... I am with you with my heart... + I am so happy you are safe, I am sending you big big hugs!!!! I know it's diffcult in this situation, but try to rest a little if you can. I am sending you all my love and support❤️❤️❤️

Ask from @themoonfoundmyfantasy: Please tell me you are okay? x

And @prosile, I'm going to respond to your lovely long ask separately a bit later <3

-----

Hi, my wonderful readers! Thank you with everything I have for your support, words of comfort and reassurance - you who sent these asks and everyone who left the notes, messages, and other kinds of support. Four bombings in less than a week is a lot, but two days of peace did wonders: I finally got enough sleep and I finished editing the BB chapter. It gained some new content in this process, so now it's 23K words long. I'd post it right now but I'd rather do it after I wake up because I need to take care of some minor AO3 technical issues.

Some of the explosions that woke me up on Monday, ruining the first bombing-free night. Children from the kindergarten running to the shelter:

My cats were terrified, just running around with wide eyes, and I fled to the hallway away from the windows. But, you get used to forcing yourself to live even where someone is set on taking this life from you. So I was working less than half an hour after this, and I ordered a small take-out to treat myself.

Fortunately, no one died in this attack.

So many terrible things happened in other cities, but I can't talk about it right now. I just wanted to let you know that I'm fine, to express my absolute appreciation and love for you once again, and to tell you that the BB chapter will be posted within a day because it's 100% done + that I'm already working on ATLWETD and my Batman fics.

[haintxblue]

help me help my cat

EDIT: THIS HAS BEEN FUNDED! THANK YOU SO MUCH.

As you may know I had an expensive unforeseen doctor visit recently involving travel to see a doctor out-of-state that I took a great deal of commissions to cover, meaning that I'm now fully booked up to the end of October. This was the latest in an ongoing series of financial emergencies as I enter my second year of trying and failing to find a full-time job that will pay a living wage, including an unforeseen cross-state move, multiple medical emergencies in myself, my mom, and my cat, and car maintenance issues including me being involved in a minor hit-and-run. I have been doing my best to stay afloat with commissions but am booked to the gills.

If I was now experiencing any emergency that affected only myself I would not be here begging and humbling myself yet again, but this one pertains to my cat. Some of you may know that I have a sixteen year old cat with cancer, who has repeatedly faked me out thinking she was on deaths doorstep. Several months ago I was convinced she was going to need euthanasia, only for a new course of treatment to suddenly right the ship once more in what I can only describe as a minor miracle. Unfortunately she has complicated the situation again, and it appears to be time for me to make a difficult decision.

While she is technically in hospice care, she has an ear infection, and I have a choice before me: I feel I must try to treat this and see if she bounces back, because her only notable bad symptoms are pain and a sudden loss of balance and our initial "wait it out and treat the symptoms" approach that her vet suggested given her precarious situation did not yield the results we'd hoped. She needs actual treatment of the ear infection, but there's also a chance that even with it, this is the end of the line for her, as the balance issues may be neurological instead.

The cost to have her seen by a vet will be substantial, as she must receive home visits. She has to be sedated at the vets office otherwise and her frail health precludes her from being sedated at the moment. I am looking at probably around 300 dollars for an in-house visit to reassess her ears and have them re-treated.

If the ear infection treatment does not restore her balance, then we will be looking at an at-home euthanasia cost of almost 600.00 for the cheapest, no-memorial option. I am very prepared for the idea that I will need to cover both of these expenses within the week, and this is my current bank balance:

Yes, that's the negatives.

My mother has also had several emergencies and cannot help.

I have exhausted all my savings after this year of unexpected expenses and cannot in good conscience take more commissions. I already owe backlog of one commission type (chibi sketches) from months ago during the last crisis which I'm slowly working through and have regular commissions completely full. I have no esks or stygians left to sell except for founder and socket, which I am considering.

I will be selling a special semi-gacha but otherwise I have no recourse available to me but to humbly, once again, ask for donations.

I have nothing to offer in exchange this time but my gratitude for your patience and generosity.

If you'd like to help me with the cost of caring for my cat, my PayP.l for personal donations is uglymyfanwe@gmail.com and my V.nmo is $rejamrejam

I am sorry I keep asking. I wouldn't if it was for me, but it's not for me, it's for my cat.

[xxscarletxrosexx]

Addressing Watermarks on Official Merch Scans -- A Post Made to EDUCATE

I never thought this would need to be addressed, but I think to ignore this would do me injustice as someone who works in education. This message, at its core, is to educate, not attack anyone in particular.

I used to think how silly it was that people used watermarks on pictures and art, but after spending decades in multiple fandom groups, I learned that people are simply too lazy to find the source and credit accordingly and/or want the glory/validation that comes from claiming that particular art/picture as theirs.

I've had a picture stolen once, too. It was a picture of a mannequin that reminded me of Slender Man. I posted it on a public social media app just for laughs, and somehow, that picture ended up becoming a small meme. It WASN'T a huge meme, but it made its way to a niche of Slender Man memes. I haven't received credit for that picture and probably never will. The reason is that this picture was taken over a decade ago, so finding the source would be difficult for me to scroll through the app. Furthermore, I can't show proof that I have the original picture since it was from an old phone that I no longer owned. I had the picture backed up on an external hard drive, but it was deleted when the memory got wiped when I was dealing with a virus. Ultimately, I'm not here to air out my grievance for this picture, but I take it as a lesson to myself that I should be careful next time if I want to post a picture on the internet.

This now brings me to the present-day issue: why did I watermark my scans?

As you read from my previous experience, it's because people DON'T credit or share the source.

I am very much aware that this particular design of the Forgers is very rare to come by. The official art was posted by the official website, but it was never addressed again (I know because I am dying to have acrylic stands of this design). As of today, I tried to look for this specific design and the following images showed up when I spent the past 10 minutes scrolling:

If you were to click the link for the merch (middle image), you would find that the website is unavailable. So, yes, to find this design on a merch was INCREDIBLY lucky on my part. Now, I wasn't expecting to find this at Waku Waku Park, nor was it my mission to find this specific art during the duration of my trip. It just so happened to be at the shop. To my knowledge, other official SxF merch--other than the Waku Waku Park merch--supposedly changes. I compared my experience with two SxF moots who went in December (Ikebukuro/Tokyo location) and 1 week (Osaka location) before me, and they both don't recall finding this design during their visits to Waku Waku Park (I mean, justified because it's been ages ago). As a result, this makes this merch all the more difficult to find.

Technically, I wasn't allowed to take pictures of the merchandise when I was at the shop. I was approached by a store clerk after I had already completed taking pictures of every merch available at the shop. She was limited in her English but crossed her index fingers and told me: "Pictures prohibited." I have not, nor do I plan to, share merch pictures, hence why I edited to the clear file folders to show proof that I was there.

The reason why I am so hell-bent on having my watermark on MY PICTURES and MY SCANS is because of the amount of time, effort, and money I invested into getting it.

Just to give you guys an idea of how expensive it was:

$1,500 was spent on a 9-day round-trip ticket to Japan.

$180 was lost to an overnight night bus from Tokyo to Osaka that I didn't end up riding due to rushing and booking the wrong date. I was not allowed to cancel or refund.

$100 was spent on an airplane ticket from Tokyo to Osaka.

$90 was spent on a shinkansen (bullet train) from Kyoto to Tokyo (we took a fast metro ride from Osaka to Kyoto).

$100 was spent on a last-minute B&B in Osaka.

$50 was spent on Waku Waku Park tickets that came with merchandise (I paid for my friend's ticket as well as my own).

$12 (est.) was spent on purchasing this clear file folder.

Over $350 was spent on purchasing merch from Waku Waku Park alone.

$60 was invested in purchasing a scanner just to scan a high-quality image of this clear file for my friend, and anyone else who'd appreciate seeing this product.

To share how much time and effort it took to get to purchasing this:

My friend and I weren't able to book events for the trip despite purchasing our tickets 2 months in advance. Our jobs and schedules prevented us from meeting up and planning out places where we'd like to visit. As a result, many of our planned trips were booked days before we went, such was the case with Waku Waku Park. We literally bought the tickets the night before.

The flight, night bus, and shinkansen tickets from Tokyo to Osaka and from Kyoto to Tokyo were purchased the day before we bought the tickets, which was during our bus ride trip to Mount Fuji.

When purchasing tickets for Waku Waku Park, my SxF moots recommended I purchase online or at Lawson--I did the latter. For whatever reason, I just couldn't purchase the tickets online, so I went to Lawson and found a machine that sells general tickets to the public. I recall this experience being so frustrating because they did have an English translation option for the homepage ONLY. Once I clicked the platform that sold Waku Waku Park tickets, all text went back to Japanese. I couldn't read it, so I had to contact my SxF moot (who was fortunately still in Japan and went through this experience like me AND could read and speak in Japanese) explain to me what I was looking at. I also used Google Lens to help make sense of whatever I was reading. I probably spent over 10 minutes trying to figure that shit out until the shop clerk finally came over to see if he can help me complete the form and check out my purchase (poor kid didn't know English but we somehow managed).

When my friend and I arrived in Osaka, we had forgotten to book a B&B since we knew that there was a high likelihood that we'd stay overnight. I purchased a 1-day Osaka trip pass, assuming that we'd be able to go to every place offered on the list, but nope, my friend crashed after Waku Waku Park. As a result of booking so early in the morning, we were fortunate to have found a B&B that was ready by 1 PM (?) maybe 3 PM (?). I can't remember other than the fact that when I requested if we could come early, they told me we couldn't come until check-in time. So, we went to ATC Gallery (Waku Waku Park) with our luggages (fortunately, they were light but it was a nuisance to have carried it around). We were also fortunate that ATC Gallery, when arriving to the building via metro station, had a locker that could fit our luggage--so thank goodness we didn't have to carry it during the exhibit.

We learned that once you exit the exhibit--which means you exit the merch shop--you are NOT allowed to come back in. Even, when your companion was still inside, you couldn't go back in. My friend left the merch shop since there were no places for her to sit and wait for me. So she stepped out of the shop. Apparently, there are gates with workers preventing people from re-entering. And so, when I experienced problems with my card, I called my friend to have her lend me her credit card. That's when we experienced that problem. The officer was kind enough to allow my friend to hand me her card so that I could pay for my haul of merch. But imagine, if we both left the shop to go to a store to withdraw money? There was no Lawson store nearby so we'd have to take the metro and find one, buy a ticket, return to the venue, go through the exhibit AGAIN (I probably would have to repeat playing the minigames, collecting stamps, and having my photo taken out of courtesy rather than rushing through the exhibit), and then finally arrive at the merch shop. But considering the time we entered the park around 1:30 PM and spent 2 hours in the park, I believe that it would have ended with a very tight schedule (the park closes at 6:00 PM) and a very unhappy companion.

In conclusion, removing my watermarks means you (the watermark remover) discredit me and disrespect all of my time, effort, and money I invested just to get a high-quality scan of this clear file just for you to enjoy looking at and most likely saving it to your collection of SxF images. You are also a THIEF for not only stealing my scanned image and re-uploading my scan with a horrible cut and my watermarks removed with AI, but also for the fact that you DID NOT pay for a round-trip ticket to Japan, you DID NOT pay for your own ticket to Waku Waku Park, you DID NOT purchase this clear file yourself, and you DID NOT spend money on a scanner to get this high-quality image to post on the internet.

I know that this is MY SCANNED image of the official art because I can see ghost texts of my watermark between Loid and Yor and near Anya's finger and Bond's forehead. I can see the residual cut off of the weird light-blue scan found near Loid's head. The most obvious is that the red leaf between Yor and Loid was horribly "removed" by AI (dear, I use AI to edit out people from my photos, it doesn't take a trained and perfectionist eye to notice something looks fucked up).

Below is an example of me using AI, and this is not how it should look without people. There was a clear pathway behind the people but AI decided to cover it with grass. Keep in mind that to arrive to THIS AI edit, it took me over an hour to repeat the removal process since AI's edit is RANDOM every time. I am an extreme perfectionist, so I tend to waste hours on end to find AI edits that look convincing (I'm not gonna bother putting a watermark on this because my face is there).

Furthermore, as far as I'm aware (at this current time), I know that my scan is the only one that has resurfaced this image. The official merch image of this design is quite difficult to find and reference. I would've sourced it by now if I had already found it, but I've spent 6 hours writing this entire post as is and still couldn't find it.

The person who shared the removal of my watermark on Twitter/X was unaware of the importance for watermarking scans and had been cooperative by taking down her original post. I have provided a post to my scans on Twitter/X here, and a link to the original source found on my Ko-Fi shop. I currently have no beef with her, nor am I attacking her with this post. What she had presented to me was an opportunity to educate.

If you're looking for official merch that do not have watermarks slashed across their products, then your best bet is to find them from official merch websites and/or official merch images. Obviously, they want you to purchase their products. Second, they have the legal rights and trademark (TM) to flex that they own it, so I highly doubt anyone would go out of their way to edit an official work and claim it as their image.

My experience alone confirms that had I not put a watermark on my scan, I would have definitely gotten this scan stolen. As far as I'm aware, my scan is the ONLY ONE (at this current moment) that pops up in Google searches. It pops up via Tumblr from @yumeka-sxf Spy x Family miscellaneous collab scans - part 3 post.

I'm so grateful to have received advice from @yumeka-sxf because she encouraged me to protect my scans having experienced multiple thefts from her oldest scanned images in the past.

TLDR; Don't remove people's watermarks on scanned pictures (especially if they're put on official merch). We have the right to post watermarks on our pictures/scans because we spent ungodly time and effort to find them, spent money to purchase them, scanned/took high-quality pictures of them, and kindly shared our collection(s) FOR FREE for people to enjoy, share the experience, and/or inspire them to purchase one themselves. Unfortunately, the decision to put watermarks over purchased merch is because there are people who are willing to do whatever it takes to edit out credit and watermarks found in corners or in open spaces to claim ownership of the image. I have also seen merchants' product pictures being stolen by other sellers who just happen to have the same product (yes, I'm calling Ebay and Mercari out). That's why there are sellers who take pictures of their products next to their usernames.

If you have read everything until the very end, you have my gratitude. I hope that this post has been educational in helping everyone become aware that watermarks are used to credit people's time, effort, and money to share high-quality scans/pictures of official merch that they purchased. The reason you can see it is because of their efforts to share it.

[seresinhangmanjake]

Beyond the Hills: Part 3

Jake “Hangman” Seresin x female!reader (College AU)

Summary: Technically, you and Jake Seresin have known each other for twelve years. All throughout your childhood education, you and Jake shared classes, lunch periods, homeroom teachers. It seemed if the opportunity for you to be in the same space arose, the universe made it happen. But you were not friends. Not enemies, either. Not much of anything to one another outside of the occasional class project partners. When high school ended you assumed you wouldn’t be seeing him any time soon, but then you find yourselves at the same college, and once again, forced together. It seems no matter where you go, Jake Seresin is there. But you are not the shy girl you were in your youth. You want to try things now; party, have fun, do things you’ve never done before, and suddenly, for reasons you don’t understand, Jake seems to take issue with your new choices.

Notes/Warnings: 18+, just to be safe. Minors DNI. underage drinking (depending on your country, but I’m in the US). I’d bet on typos, kind of my thing, as I learn after I’ve posted. I don’t have a beta reader, sooo…just me, myself, and I, and sometimes that does not cut it for editing purposes. Smut-ish.

Words: 2591

Masterlist / Main Masterlist

-----

He'd decided the night after the first meeting that he wanted to get to know you. The need took root in his chest and he couldn’t shake it. But was he making progress? He didn't know. The second meeting you were paired with Ellen and he with some new addition named Maria. Rooster hadn't shown. Didn't need to now that he'd gotten his foot in the door with your friend. Jake didn't care. He cared about the fact that you clearly were fine with being someone else's partner that Tuesday when he certainly wasn't feeling the same. But if there was a silver lining—he got to watch you laugh and smile, he got to see your eyes shine, and he didn't have to worry about what you'd think because you weren't paying him an ounce of attention. Silver lining to the core. He'd prefer the attention. 

The third week was a little better. He'd given extra consideration to Pride and Prejudice, staying up late to finish the book and form his opinions. He didn't so much enjoy the story, but he did enjoy the idea of appearing smart in front of you. So when the TA told them to pair off, he practically snatched you up and did his best to prove he had a decent head on his shoulders. Maybe he got you to believe it, too, at least by the time the meeting was over. 

Progress. Right? Right?

He sighed as he opened his room's door, hoping he was right. The thought was consuming him, so much so that he didn't hear the mix of moans and groans and the squeaks of an ancient mattress.

"Fuck, baby."

Those were the words that drew Jake back to the present. 

He grimaced. "Oh, what the actual fuck."

Lydia yelped on Rooster's lap and whipped her head Jake's way, letting out an "Oh my god" as his roommate pulled her chest flush against his to shield some of her bare body. 

"Hey, man," Rooster chuckled, grabbing the blanket from behind him and wrapping it around them both. "We were just—"

"I think I can guess," Jake snapped as he gestured his hand at the scene before him. "How about a text next time? Or a note slapped on the door?"

"That's fair."

"Thank you," Jake huffed. He ran a hand through his hair. A handful of beats passed as they all looked anywhere but at each other. "And how are you, Lydia?" It seemed polite to ask, albeit with a little irritation in his tone. 

"Good, thanks." She smiled, all awkwardness fading once the shock of his presence wore off. Of course she was as confident as his roommate. Entirely unbothered. She shifted slightly on Rooster’s lap and the man groaned in response, biting into her neck. "Oh hey, by the way, Y/N is coming with us to the bar tonight if you want to go. It's the one on Lake that doesn't ask ages."

Jake's eyes narrowed into a glare. His arms crossed over his chest. "You told her?"

Rooster shrugged. "It was a bonding moment. Right, baby?" He said as he brushed some of the wild platinum hair behind Lydia's ear.

She wrapped her arms tighter around his neck, hummed in agreement, and leaned in to give him a quick kiss. Something in Jake ached at the sight—the tenderness. Rooster had known Lydia for weeks and he already had more with her than Jake did with a girl he'd known for years. 

He didn't like you. Those thoughts just crossed his mind every once in a while, completely out of his control. But he'd find a way to bury them because he did want to be your friend, at the very least. Fighting that was out the window. 

Jake looked back at the two sitting atop the bed, still intertwined, still holding each other, still giving one another little kisses as if he wasn't there. "Goddamn you move fast," he said. 

With reluctance, his roommate pulled back slightly from the woman in his arms. "Yea, and we'd like to move a little faster, so can we maybe talk some more about this when I’m, uh, not hard and buried deep in—"

"Stop."

"Unless you want to watch?"

Jake was already shaking his head before he said, "Absolutely not."

Rooster winked. "We'll be quick."

—--

You couldn't decide if you were comfortable or not, cramped in the tight space, shuffling through a sea of bodies just to get from one end of the bar to the other. You were leaning more towards uncomfortable until you finally saw Lydia waving at you from the entrance, her hand clasped in Bradley's and dragging him along. You took a breath and a sip of your drink but it almost sputtered at your lips when you saw Jake following behind the two. 

Shit. What the hell was wrong with your friend? Your first one in forever and she'd already betrayed you. You couldn't fully relax if he was here, and while you hadn't told Lydia a damn thing about the confusing thoughts in your head about him, you had a suspicion she was catching on. 

You took another drink, a long one, emptying the rest of your glass.

"Hi, hon," she said, taking the seat opposite you in the booth and dragging her—boyfriend? Sex partner? you didn't know what they were—down beside her. 

It left you with no choice but to make room for the blond, who plopped down in the space you had occupied. He was close. So close you couldn't tell if the warmth of your body was from the alcohol or his own heat enveloping you. Either way, it wasn't…unpleasant.

"Hi," you finally remembered to say. 

—--

Your voice was unsteady on that word as much as his heartbeat was inside his body. Both were clear and unmistakable, yet unstable. Irregular. If he spoke, his words would’ve sounded the same, and he wondered if your heartbeat was currently as wild as his. Maybe you were a perfect match. What a dangerous thought. 

Ok, maybe he liked you. Just a bit. 

Fuck.

"So," Lydia began, and Jake suddenly decided he had never liked the girl better. Her drawn-out syllable was a crack in the walls of silence that encased the four of you. A sweet smile split her face. "Have you guys seen anyone else from home walking around?"

Your head shook in his peripherals and Jake remained silent, watching as Lydia glanced nervously at Rooster. He gave her a nod, urging her to continue. It didn't fool Jake in the slightest. They were trying to get him to talk to you in some way that wasn't about books, but their conversation starters were lousy and you weren't biting. 

"Well, I saw Cooper Michaels today," she said.

—--

Jake stiffened beside you—spine suddenly rigid while his neck muscles strained from his clenching jaw. His thumbnail started to scrape up and down the side of his curled-in middle finger and his other hand began balling up one of the napkins the bar used as a sorry excuse for coasters. 

"Really?" You asked. You knew Cooper, in a way. Nearly everyone from your high school did, regardless of year. But it was simply a matter of recognizing his name and being able to put it to his face if the situation called for it. Nothing more.

"Yea, he transferred from a different school already. Said it wasn't a good fit." Lydia paused, clearly waiting for something more from either you or Jake, but she wasn’t going to get it; not from you because you didn’t care much about anyone from high school, and not from Jake for, well, some reason. Not until Lydia said "I invited him tonight” did Jake finally look up at her again. 

His brow was drawn tight and his next word he practically spat at your friend. "Why?"

"Dude,” Bradley snapped, but Jake’s attitude didn’t phase Lydia; likely because of her four brothers and their natural moodiness—something she claimed Bradley was already terrified at the thought of. 

"Because he just got here and he doesn't know anyone else,” Lydia said, giving back a minute degree of sass that was just enough to spread an ashamed look across Jake’s face. "Wasn't he your friend?" 

Jake mumbled something under his breath, then, "Not really."

"Oh. Well, he said he was glad he was going to get to see you tonight."

His mouth was sealed shut, face devoid of emotion. He looked…blank. Not all there. And then he was gone, out of the booth and disappearing into the crowd. 

—--

He wanted to shatter his own reflection—just to relieve some of the tension in his body, to expel some energy, maybe feel something other than irritation at his own bad luck, even if that feeling was sharp pain from glass shards buried into the skin of his knuckles. 

He couldn’t catch a damn break. Wrapping his head around you, picking at his brain with a needle to try and figure out why he felt what he felt, was enough to occupy him. Enough to disrupt his sleep, as the bathroom mirror reminded him. He didn’t need more. He didn’t need the return of an intentionally neglected memory. 

Cooper fucking Michaels. 

Maybe he’d never see him again after the night was over. The school was big enough. But could he really wake up tomorrow and pretend one half of a destroyed friendship wasn’t within a mile radius at all times? He doubted the other half would. Cooper hated him, and that wasn’t going away any time soon. 

Jake twisted the knob on the sink and gathered some of the cool water in his palm to run over his face. He needed to get himself together; to walk back out there, sit down beside you, and remain calm. He might not even show, he told himself as he dried his face. He could have had something better to do.

He shoved the door open and stepped into the liquor-scented air, making it all of five paces before your face filled his vision. You stared up at him, and he down at you. Then your mouth opened and Jake waited patiently for the words you were going to gift him. 

“Are–Are you ok?” you shouted over the music booming through the speakers that were set up in nearly every corner of the room. “Lydia and Bradley asked me to come chec—” 

A body shoved yours forward, directly into his. A harsh collision, but Jake welcomed it, savored it. You huddled a little closer to him as the rest of the moving group of people passed, and his hands instinctively went to wrap around your upper arms. 

Tingles, zaps, shocks. Whatever you wanted to call them, Jake got them just by brushing his fingers over some bare skin—your bare skin. And he finally knew what those meant. His thumbs began to slowly stroke back and forth along your biceps but he couldn't say if you noticed. Your attention was still on the migrating group. 

Soft. So fucking soft. And warm. And right in front of him. 

He whispered your name before he could stop himself, and as if you'd heard him, you turned your head, your eyes widening when they connected with his. His chest rose and fell, pressing against yours with each inhale as he gathered the realization of his sudden desire. 

He wanted you. He wanted this mouth on yours. He wanted his hands dipping into your clothes. He wanted more of your skin. 

Jake blinked hard to break his stare and shook his head. "I, um—"

"This your girl, Seresin?"

Pure ice shot through his body, solidifying the blood in his veins and stopping his heart mid-thump.

He'd know that voice from a mile away; could pick out its specific notes and tone in the sea of mindless chattering. Never would he forget the voice of the man who cursed his name and told him in about ten different ways to fuck off and go to hell. Not even in his nightmares did the memory fade, despite his best effort.

An ocean-blue gaze landed on your face as Jake dropped his hands back to his sides, and it took everything in him not to block that look with his body. It was too suggestive, too bold, but that was signature for the man he used to call his friend. Flirting was in his nature—was once in Jake’s nature, too; deeply embedded in the wiring of his brain. That is, until he fucked up under the influence of that flirty nature mixed with an abundance of alcohol. 

"I'm Cooper," he said, his lips thinning into a smirk. He winked and took a sip from the beer bottle in his hand. 

"I know. We went to the same high school." You replied without skipping a beat. 

Jake’s brow furrowed at your words and the pang in his chest that followed them. How many times in your life had you reminded people of who you were? To the idiots who could somehow find you so unimportant as to forget your face. He couldn’t blur the image of your face if he tried, and he had tried, relentlessly, for years. That determination had only increased when he saw you walk into his class, but you returned with a vengeance; the center of his dreams. 

"You sure?” Copper asked. “I'd think I would've remembered a girl like you."

You smiled a tad awkwardly, your head falling forward, eyes landing at your shoes. He wanted to hold you. Wrap his arms back around you. Protect you. Save you from the discomfort that you never should’ve had to go through. He’d failed you countless times before, without you even knowing it. He could have done those things in school. He’d certainly felt the pull, and yet he didn’t. He kept away as best he could. Now, the instinct was thick and wild and it was a sickening struggle to restrain his limbs from reaching out. But he did. The possible repercussions of acting in this moment would tear him apart. 

"I'm sure," you replied, looking back up. You briefly met Cooper’s eyes, but shifted them to Jake as you said, "I'm going to head back."

Best fucking thing he’d heard all night. Get away from Cooper ran through his head. Good girl. Even if it meant also walking away from Jake, he needed you to go. 

Jake nodded, watching you turn and weave back through body after body until he lost sight of you. 

"You never answered my question." All flirtiness gone. A tenseness turning that tone to stone.

"She's no one,” Jake said, his gaze still locked in the direction you had gone, though you were far from his area of vision. “Just in my class."

Cooper hummed. "Just in your class, huh?" His wide shoulder rammed into Jake’s as he passed him to make his way to the booth where you sat with Rooster and his girlfriend. Cooper glanced over that shoulder, his strawberry blond hair—the hair that had won him the attention of numerous girls for years—shifting in the act, and said "Somehow I doubt that."

------

Tags: @marvel-ousnesss @thespeeder @nobody7102 @marrianena @fangirlingoverfangirls @blue-aconite @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @dempy @chaoticassidy @alana4610 @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @dracosluvbot @smoothdogsgirl @smit41 @wkndwlff @rileyloves5 @gigisimsonmars @hangmanbrainrot @withakindheartx @teacupsandtopgun @himbos-on-ice @xoxabs88xox @happypopcornprincess @violyn20 @jordanturpen @nagygreta @rintheemolion @coldmuffinbanditshoe @avengersgirllorianna @oliviah-25 @talkfastromance4 @ysl-bby @chibijusstuff @kmsryles343 @sometimesicryintheshower @cookielovesbook-akie @yanna-banana @taylahk109 @buxkybarnez @elijahmikaelsonbitch @ravenhood2792 @potato-girl99981 @eccentricnos @kembry107 @pono-pura-vida @topguncultleader @v0id-chaos @scrappybear89 @stiles-banshees @audri_janis @jake-seresins-girl @caidi-paris @sass-masterkittenmama @mlibbydp @abaker74 @blackwidownat2814 @llymoonie @caitsymichelle13 @zbeez-outlet @ahintofstrawberry-blog @djs8891 @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @themusingofagothicsoul @taytaylala12 @appledressing @boltgirl426​ @atarmychick007 @winterrebel04 @alldaysdreamers @lelapine @darkheartcherry 

[wings-n-bees]

An Artist's Take on The Night Comes Down

This might piss some people off, but I don't care, because you need to hear it. Most of this is taken from an earlier conversation I had about the use of AI in art.

I have a lot of thoughts about using AI. To me, it's like a crutch when you're an artist. Should AI have been used in the music video? Probably not, but with how shitty some of you were behaving about the art style used for the Face It Alone video (I seem to recall the words 'lazy' and 'cheap' being used), I do not blame the creative department for using AI. People's expectations are far too high when it comes to art - from both a professional standpoint and a hobbyist standpoint.

Artists are already underpaid and undervalued - I cannot blame an artist for using a tool that's available to them when their pay is probably pennies to the dollar for what their normal art is worth.

Expecting an artist to make a grandiose piece and then paying them for the most basic work they've made is not a mindset any of us should have. You can't have it both ways.

AI, when used appropriately and when it's credited as such, has great value to the artistic world.

Now comes the part that is going to be a hard pill for some of you to swallow: AI has been around for decades. You might not know of it as such, but guess what? It has. You might know it better as "Computer Generated Imagery" - CGI for short. All AI is CGI. This is a concept that has been around since AT LEAST the 1970s - if not earlier, and has been used in almost every blockbuster film to date, including (but not limited to) films like Lord Of The Rings, Captain America, and The Dark Knight Series.

The issue around AI arises when people are not forthright about their use of it - something that was immediately disclosed in the description of the video. My feelings about this would be different had it not been disclosed.

Do I want my art used to train AI models? Not particularly, but you can't have your cake and eat it, too. The most basic Photoshop Filters and Elements, all the way back to the first editions of Photoshop, are all technically AI... because they are computer generated. I use those filters and elements in my own art and graphics all the time.

[incorrectklavekatz]

The crows as cards cause I’m bored and why not, as usual my asks are open and I’m always happy to answer!!! Possible ROW and CK spoilers??? Obviously SOC spoilers

Kaz: king of clubs, symbolises strength, power and determination, his ambition towards taking down Rollins, and his effectiveness in doing so, as well as his power by the time ROW occurs in him having two people on the merchant council, the queen of fjerda and the wraith on the seas, in play can be useful, but in most cases doesn’t do much if the rest of the hand is shit, he needs his crows

Inej: Queen of spades, I was going to make her and Kaz match but I’d rather give her an individual one, symbolises intelligence, practical and intellectual, plans ahead of time, inej is always the one in the crows to provide insight to their issues, no matter how cryptic it may be at times, and she shows her ability to understand the consequences of all of their actions better than the other crows several times, in play a black queen can change the game if not countered by a red one

Nina: queen of hearts, pretty obvious as it is, heartrender, queen of fjerda, symbolises a powerful woman who is commanding and has a strong presence yet is compassionate, caring and protective of those she loves, her taking the parem to save the others in coming out of the ice court, as well as generally just being there for the crows in their times of need while still being a very independent and strong female character, in play can be incredibly useful for saving a hand

Matthias: king of hearts, symbolises honesty and spirituality, obviously spirituality to djel and his honesty about changing who he was to be a better man, and admitting that what he did was wrong along with coming to terms with how he was raised and how that effected him and how he treats others, also symbolises a kind gentle man, which he became because of Nina, sparing the boy who shot him, in play again not very useful unless the rest of the hand is good

Wylan: Ace of diamonds, symbolises a financial increase and can indicate a message from a new lover, his claiming of his inheritance from his father, and Jespers role in helping him achieve and maintain that inheritance with reading to him, in play can change the stakes of the game and is very fluid compared to other cards in what it can do, as well as changing the suit to how it sees fit regardless of the suit being played, changing to look like kuwei, asking to be beaten up further for dramatic effect etc

Jesper: Jack of Diamonds, symbolises youth, energy and potential, “maybe he was a bullet in a chamber, waiting to be given direction”, it can also symbolise future financial instability, his gambling, and can be used to represent an unfaithful employee, when he accidentally ratted them out to the dime lions, in play isn’t extremely helpful and generally can benefit the person before the player more than the player themselves, heavily depends on the other cards in the hand, much like how Jesper often puts trying not to disappoint others above his own general well-being and mental health

+ Bonus kuwei: ace of spades, mirrors Wylan, symbolises death, darkness and mystery, parem causing death, hiding in the tomb, nobody really knowing much about him, but can also represent new beginnings, fresh starts and rebirth, moving to Ravka and changing his name to fix his fathers mistakes, arguably one of the most important cards in play, can change the game entirely based on its high place on the list of outcomes on rolling the dice or drawing from a deck of cards chance, can also symbolise power, luck and triumph, whoever was ‘in possession’ of kuwei was winning the game

If anybody has any other opinions on this please let me know!! Also I am aware that technically they have all already been assigned cards in the collectors edition art for crooked kingdom but these are my own takes, might do an analysis post on their cards assigned in the official art if anybody is interested <333 also will do any other characters in the SOC duology and maybe some from the SAB trilogy if asked!!!

[yunarise]

Headcanon post - Dan Feng, Dan Heng &. the Shackling Prison

1. Questline Commentary - DH returning to the SP

I've already spoken on this a bit, but here a summary of my impressions: I wished there was a greater focus on DH during this entire sequence since his very existence is so closely tied to the SP. I liked that we at least got acknowledgement of DH having been there before (since I don't expect casual players to even know/remember this about him). What I disliked was the nonchalance. I'm not arguing that he should have refused going. I like that he went, but that decision should have had a greater focus. The SP is associated with many traumatic memories for DH and also DF, whose memories DH has at least partial access to. DH was quite literally born inside that prison and didn't see sunlight until Jing Yuan managed to push for his release.

2. Some minor add-ons relevant to my portrayal of DH

DH doesn't openly display his feelings about returning to the SP, but he still very much feels them. He will push through and do what he needs to do for Jing Yuan and the Express. He will take his role as protector very seriously, as he always has. However, once he is alone back in the archives, he'll fall apart. He'll heave and weep and shake while muffling his sounds because he doesn't want to worry anyone with his reactions. He may be more quiet than usual for a while after all this is dealt with, but he won't discuss any of it unless confronted by those he cares about.

3. DF's treatment in the SP

(tw for various torture methods)

I'll keep this brief since what we are explicitly told in game (whether during this quest or lore found in texts, etc.) is quite distressing.

Following the sedition, DF was moved to the SP. There, he remained until his (tempered with) molting rebirth. Prior to his death, he was made to endure horrible cold (referenced by Hanya in the new quest) as well as nails which were embedded into his back to quite literally hold him aloft:

"This place is filled with the cold air from the Northern Peak of the Polar Delve. Even the toughest long-life species would have a hard time enduring this."

"He dreamed of the Dracocatena Nails being staked into his body, and chains of corallium winding around him to hang him in midair in the Shackling Prison. He dreamed the elders coming and going to interrogate him about the truth of the Arcanum and the whereabouts of the dragon heart. He did not speak."

I wouldn't be surprised if the interrogations included the use of torture to get DF to finally speak - without success, obviously.

Since DF wasn't allowed to die as such, he was to undergo molting rebirth. I've seen screenshots of texts in the CN version of the game where said molting is alluded to involve a literal descaling (of DF's tail). I'd take this with a grain of salt since I can't find those mentions now, but I consider it canon for my take on DF at least.

4. DH's treatment in the SP

As I already mentioned, DH was born in the SP. As far as I know, we have no time frame of how long he was in there prior to being let go, but I personally set it at around 50 years. In this time, he had no explanation for why he was there, didn't know anything about DF and their relation, and was completely isolated outside of interactions with guards, elders, and Jing Yuan. He had books for enrichment, but he never once saw the world outside until the day he was released.

"The most notorious felons are locked away in solitary delves deep down in the prison. Those delves can't be opened without proper authorization."

While DH technically should have been seen as a separate entity from DF, it's clear that this wasn't the case. Jing Yuan had to push hard for his release, and even then it was still a touchy issue. I wouldn't be surprised if DH was mistreated while in the SP, but I also think that Jing Yuan would have done his hardest to put a stop to it as soon as he was made aware.

Edit: Something else I remembered is that the cell DH (and likely DF) was kept in was without light. This is stated in the description of his LC:

From birth, all that ever lay before him was but a lightless dungeon. To this darkness, irrelevant sins bound him... irrelevant memories engulfed him. He writhed, gasping for breath with every fiber of his being, attempting to clasp a sliver of light in this fathomless ocean.

5. Summary

In short: DH has a lot of trauma associated with the SP. He also is willing to return there for his friends and for Jing Yuan. Will he come out of that experience mentally/emotionally unscathed? Hell no!

-slaps DH on the back- This bad boy can fit so much trauma in it!!!

Anyway, thanks for bearing with my rambling. I might ramble even more, but for now it's time to crash. Hugs and kisses.

[spamtoon]

DCRC week 4.. in week 5. paperinik

i am behind. you know this by now. let's read paperinik

love the cross hatching in these first few panels something's gonna happen for sure!

JFEAJFOIEAJFIEAJ ill be so real the walt disney logo and OMBRE SU VENERE caught me off guard so hard. the way its in the corner and yellow and Not Fitting At All. the word art ahh look of the text (though i understand why they couldnt replace it in a way that looks good) im so. what a beautiful panel

donald is so sad.... the way that theres so many screens and they're all donald. duckblr user (not that angus fangus would be allowed on duckblr. he doesnt even deserve to call lyla luv)

great to learn that this donald is computer generated. he doesnt have five hands though so this clearly isnt the ai art issue. also ever since last issue learning that lyla is a robot whos become so acclimated to her environment she loves playing the part of the reporter and is still passionate despite technically being made to literally call the time police whenever things go wrong she ough. ohohoh. i appreciate her so much more

i think uno deserves to spy on people. as a treat

one's face... he's so silly....... he's so insanely silly....

the evronians should get angus fangus i think. destroy him agron of evron. i know they're trying to team up to make duck avenger look bad or something but please

the action panels in this comic are also lovely but maybe thats because i havent read a superhero comic before. that isnt darkwing duck

JOIFEAOIFJ THE WAY DONALD LOOKS UP LIKE Xadhoom! (: haha glad to see you here! and then she just. comes down in a firey rage its beautiful.

excellent wisdom donald. im so glad he smokes weed (I AM JOKING I EDITED THIS AS A JOKE)

okay hello for context i am writing this almost a full week later. my ahh did not wanna do this but cog it. we ball. i think i need to just like. stop treating this as an obligation because like it's literally fine spam. you dont have school rn you deserve to chill.

ughhghghg donald loves uno so much already. he's so glad for uno dude... dudeeeeee... artificial or not you're a genius

oguhghh. donald's determination to save angus despite everything because nobody deserves to have Them sucked out of them. ough

this whole page is so cool but i love how they visualize the search okay. sorry i'm just appreciating the Comic-ness. of this comic. you know? when the comic play with panels...

he's so tired.... you're so right uno. i should go to bed after this. oughhghgh he's so silly when he's tired.

i think uno deserves to be done with people's crap more often

oughoghgnghng seeing uno happy again and laughing at donald im so. uno... hi uno... little uno...

im so happy we're four issues in and already donald and xadhoom are going to space to take down aliens. its beautiful... sorry if my commentary gets worse i may just be tired but i know if i dont do it now i'll never do it

hi camera 9... i do not care one bit about this red hair character so far but hello camera 9 you're just little (unaware of the camera 9 lore)

the way that all three of them are slouching here. nobody is stnaidng their ahh up straight when they got incomprehensible angus to worry about

good for him he got on megavolt's good side. bribed him with a lightbulb (SORRY i like making darkwing duck references. i know its not) UFOEAIJFOIEAJ lyla being in the shadow i'm so. she's so silly here ough

the fight scenes in this comic are so.. maybe thats just because i havent read a non-darkwing comic before but like. i dont know im admiring the art and the art style and the time period and the medium and such you know

i dont know what they wanna do with angus fangus other than just like. set him up against the duck avenger and make the earth go against him but like. i suppose he knows he cant kill paperinik here which alright. fair

xadhoom... gnngngnng she's so distressed in these panels

HELP IM SO MAD he really is just a hateful guy. okay they're candace flynning him i see

luckily for us, the universe sucks so much lots of people hate life

xadhoom............................... she deserves so much

glad even angus fangus hates this guy. like great. i wanted that crime to happen and you just. messed it up.

uno with party hat... they really decided y'know what? he's aiing us? let's just ai him back. okay thats the end of the comic maybe next time i'll be more coherent but i hope this satisfies puffy i'm tired man. i was procrastinating on this so hard but this comic... good...

[shirogane-oushirou]

edit: i decided this would drive me nuts, but i still want to keep it in case there's something worth salvaging in the future. ignore all of this ^_^

for some reason i'm interested the idea of poke!ren beginning our friendship with that like... unintentional infantilization a lot of people do with disabled people when they're trying not to be actively ableist? not because i enjoy that LMAO ABSOLUTELY NOT -- and my pokesona is prideful as hell and would DESPISE it -- but i think it would make sense.

[cw casual ableism, infantilism of disabled ppl. also, disclaimer: i'm basing some of this loosely on my own health issues so it may not 100% apply to all disabled people. just want to keep that straight LMAO.]

most many doctors are SUPREMELY ableist, but doc!ren went into his field SPECIFICALLY to help disabled people and so focused on how best to treat each individual person according to their personalities and disabilities. sure, poke!ren's also technically both a clinical doc and researcher, but if doc!ren is like 80% clinical 20% research, poke!ren is like 10% clinical 90% research.

so poke!ren... doesn't have that knowledge. he does mostly field work and some lab work, with the rare "what do you think about this specific medical case?" appointment. he's the kind of person who hates the more vocal brands of ableism, but is consistently overbearing with his treatment of disabled people in a way that's inadvertently exhausting to deal with because "what happens if i tell him this is also ableist? will he have a fit? will he get angry or upset? will he decide disabled people are too picky if i'm not the Perfect Disabled Little Meow Meow?" so you just end up suffering through it.

therefore, he goes full "paper skin, glass bones," with me, very, "oh i can get that for you! no don't stand up, i can do that. can i cook something for you? no no no, i mean, i know you COULD, but wouldn't it be /easier/ for me to make it for you? you might hurt yourself!". 🙄

we have an evening outing in another city. it gets dark, we're not at the point where we're comfortable staying at his place together, he offers to maybe help me find a hotel, and i say "nope i've got this!" and fly away home on a Fucking Lugia.

and then he has to sit with that and realize some things.

like the fact that he has no idea who the fuck i am beyond surface level. after all, i've been carrying a legendary bird around in my back pocket and he didn't know until now, months after we first met.

like the fact that i can take care of SOME things by myself with the right "tools" or pkmn. i SOMETIMES need help, but i don't ALWAYS need help, and if i DO need help i have the option to tell him myself.

like the fact that he simply saw me as Disabled. as though i didn't have a life before or outside of Disability. i was simply the pitiable, lonely, disabled vn nerd he talks about games with.

and then he has to relearn Me from square one, and it makes our relationship so much stronger. we're able to work on our perfect balance together and build the trust that HE won't take things over for ME when I'M capable of something, and that I will let HIM know when i need HIM to do something I can't do. he has to trust that i'll let him be more doting on the days when i'm having flare-ups, but simultaneously has to respect when there are things i still want to do myself even on those worst days.

.........idk. this is a lot of words to say "god i want to be taken care of, but in a way where the other person sees me as an adult with a personality and decision-making ability and a life that's deeply AFFECTED by disability in many ways but isn't JUST disability." yk?

tbch, after writing it all out, this maaaay end up as canon..... OR it might remain a theoretical offshoot depending on how comfy i am when the Mental Movies (tm) of us finding that trust come together. poke!ren's supposed to be like. PURE escapism, so something like this honestly might hit too close to home to feel good fdhfghfg. like at least he'd end up learning that balance, which is nice... but everything leading up to it? 😬 Maybe A Bit Too Painful....

(damn. verbose king over here, wrote all of this TWICE just to say "i might throw it out" lKNMADKJFNKJDNF)

[mermaidsirennikita]

Could you rec HR with the hero having a...idk, I don't want to say disability (?) Idk if that's the correct word, but the hero has a limp, or a backache or he can't walk that much without getting tired, he needs a cane, can't see properly, something like that, he ain't that healthy like the usual males from the romances

I'm not an expert on the terminology, but I do think "disabled romance heroes" is an acceptable term based on what I've seen in discussions. However, it's not universally agreed upon (nothing is) and in real life it would obviously very case by case. Gently, I would suggest not using terms like "healthy", etc--I have a condition that qualifies as a disability, but I'm not really comfortable with identifying myself as disabled (at this time in my life) and physically I'm overall pretty "healthy". I wouldn't begrudge anyone with the same condition for feeling otherwise, etc. Like I said, things like this are super individualized! But I appreciate you wanting to use the correct terminology, there isn't a single right answer but we can (and should) always try.

But yes! Historical romance heroes with disabilities. I'd check out:

Rules for Engaging the Earl by Janna MacGregor. The hero is a veteran with chronic pain and a limp/mobility issues. He uses a cane, and this is something that affects his sex life with the heroine--not a lot, he just can't do certain positions, and it doesn't negatively impact them. They get more creative (it's hot). It's a really sweet, gentle read; there's a lovely scene where she takes care of his leg when I think he's initially anxious about it. Obviously, this turns into a BJ, because... why wouldn't it...

My Darling Duke by Stacy Reid. Super romantic one here, with top tier tension. The hero was injured years ago in an accident, and though he can technically walk, ride, and stand, it's very difficult and he uses a wheelchair most of the time. He also has it in his head that he's impotent--I'll add that Reid does make it clear that one of his more progressive doctors is like "yeah I'm pretty sure that you have a mental block and CAN have sex" but, what with the mental block, the hero is like "NO I CAN'T WHICH IS WHY I CANNOT BE WITH HER".

Surrender to the Devil by Lorraine Heath. The hero has progressive vision loss; he will eventually be completely blind, and he's really upset about it. I will add a TW--this book does deal with childhood sexual abuse experienced by the heroine, as well as the domestic abuse of a supporting character.

Flowers from the Storm by Laura Kinsale. Probably the best example of this! The hero is a famous rake, but he has a stroke at the beginning of the book, which leaves him in a state the people around him call "madness". He initially can't speak and has some mobility issues. Mentally, he's totally there--he has issues processing language. The heroine ends up seeing him in a asylum (they met before his stroke) and ends up helping him. It's super romantic, and Kinsale writes his experience in an incredible way.

Dearest Rogue by Elizabeth Hoyt is known for the heroine being blind, but the hero actually has a mobility limitation due to an injury he got on the job. I forget exactly what it was, but it took him off said job, so.

Edit, silly me, forgot:

When The Earl Met His Match by Stacy Reid. Hero was born unable to speak--he's verbal, but he lacks speech, so he writes and signs. The heroine ends up learning how to sign and it's super romantic.

Still haven't read these yet, but Joanna Shupe's A Notorious Vow has a deaf hero, and Romancing the Duke by Tessa Dare has a blind hero.

[someuncreativity]

Hello and welcome to

My Ranking of How Quickly I’d Let These Fictional Men Rearrange My Organs

BotW/TotK Edition

Oh, by the way, this is a bit suggestive but not really so just be aware of that.

We’re just gonna jump into the ranking because honestly I can’t be bothered with cohesive explanations today.

5: Yunobo

As lovable as he is, Yunobo is admittedly a bit of an idiot, and fun fact about me, I’m not very into idiots- no offense.

Also, I’m like 95% sure that if he tried to, he’d actually be able to rearrange my organs. Like, in a literal sense.

In short, maybe in a week or two after a lot of begging and a LOT of prepping.

4: Ganondorf

I’ll be the first to say that sometimes his appearance turns me off. Like, that smile he does when he does the thing in the plot and the trailer, it looks gross. Other than those instances, though, he’s also really evil and I am positive he would blackmail me with the fate of the kingdom were we to engage in those acts..

Also he’s been dead for at least ten-thousand years, so I’d rather just go to the past and do it with him while he’s, y’know, NOT a corpse.

In other words, the invention of time travel, and even then, it would take some convincing

3: Rauru

No joke, I was gonna put him at the top for a second. Rauru is a good choice for being intimate with, but he’s not perfect. Namely, he’s a little bit boring at times and I’m worried on how his ungodly amounts of hair will feel. Both of those are small, though.

Oh, also- again- he’s technically dead, so that’s an issue.

So, like, time travel again, but he can just tie his hair up and we’re good.

2: Link

Honestly, Link is the best option logistically. He’s the closest in height, body mass, capabilities, and appearance to the typical human, and also Link is a sweetheart, attractive, and an overall catch, so I’d naturally be inclined to find him the most appealing option.

Worst case scenario: I ask for a day or two to make myself presentable.

1: Sidon

I don’t think I need to explain this one. I mean, he’d a himbo without being dumb, he’s super pretty, he’s loyal to the people he cares about, all around class act.

We’re he to ask me, I’d compare the time I’d take to prepare myself to the time it takes to breathe air.

There we go, y’all. Send me your fandoms or something for next time, idk

[benjaminthewolf]

D-Side BF Lol

Well, another one of @starlightgirl242 's Monday Night Munchin' requests are complete! I hope all you MNM fans out there are excited! Enjoy!

Edit: Why is this post showing up just fine in literally every other tag EXCEPT the "Monday Night Munchin" tag? The one without the apostrophe...like bruh...

Edit 2: Apparently it’s a technical issue, probably on the side of Tumblr’s desktop/computer version. Still annoying, but at least I know it’s working on mobile. ****

     “...so I was just chillin’ there in my paraglider, right? But then all of a sudden I see this giant-ass Seagull coming up towards me from the right, and apparently the stupid thing didn’t have the common sense to just stop flying forwards…or it just had terrible reflexes…or it didn’t care…but whatever, the dumbass Seagull ended up crashing straight into me, and then it shat itself and went tumbling into the ocean. Don’t worry, though, none of the poop got on me. But yeah, anyway…”

      Just as you had done before within the many, manny, many days gone by where you had enough time and energy to hang out with him, D-Side BF had been contentedly jabbering on to you about his wild, assorted misadventures, everything from going caving, to visiting a volcano, to attending various conventions, whilst the two of you casually strolled along the city sidewalks on the way to your chosen destination. Attempting, yet failing, to hold in a rather powerful bout of undoubtedly immature laughter after hearing about the Seagull’s reaction to the mid-air collision, you eventually eventually managed to gesture towards D-Side BF to keep going after managing to pull yourself back together, causing your chaotic, purple buddy to give a gaggling giggle himself. 

     Once he, too, had gotten all the funnies out of his system, D-Side BF naturally proceeded to take in a deep breath in order to proceed with his rambling, and continue on with what had happened upon that wondrous day at the beach as a result…before seemingly out of absolute nowhere, a rather abrupt, deep, growling, and gurgling  noise piped up to interrupt him. At least, it appeared to be from absolutely  nowhere to you. This was until, of course, D-Side BF came to a halt right there upon the rugged, filthy city sidewalk, in order to give a good poke to his middle, with a rather displeased look on his face to go with it.

    “Hey! Be quiet down there!” he brazenly scolded his belly whilst giving it a second poke, causing you to give a stifled chortle once more. 

     “...as I was saying, I was-” 

     Yet another bout of growling, and one that appeared to be slightly louder than the bout before, at that, promptly forced its owner to quiet down yet again, before aggressively striking the organ with his finger one more time. 

     “Hey! I said shut up down there! The candy store’s just a few more crosswalks away! You don’t need to keep whining like that!”

     D-Side BF proceeded to stay in that same, annoyed position until he was absolutely, positively sure that his tummy had gotten the message.

     “...but yeah, later that day, I got to go scuba diving, and I was able to come across a group of sharks! Or like…what’s a group of sharks called? A pod? No, that’s dolphins. Maybe a school? ‘Cause they are just large fish afterall. Ah, whatever. The point is, I was swimming all among them, and then…wait.”

     The following bout of lighthearted teasing that resulted from this single verbal mistake would, indeed, continue on until you and D-Side BF had finally reached the candy store doors, at which point you were forced to calm down in order to not get kicked out of the establishment, much to your friend’s great relief.

****

     The instant that those candy store doors swung open, and you and D-Side BF stepped inside, things went just about how the old metaphor implies, even though one would be forgiven from thinking that you and D-Side BF were kids from just how excentric the two of you were acting, D-Side BF in particular because of his height. Regardless, the unspoken rule was more so that you couldn’t make too many verbal distractions, something which the aforementioned teasing would’ve crossed the line of, rather than just be pretty jittery. This, plus the fact that the two of you did indeed have money meant that you and D-Side BF were still able to snag up your candy from the shelves without much issue to speak of.

     The candy store in question was named “Confetti Candy Carnival”, and had gone with the more bright and colorful, kid-attracting theme, rather than a more old-timey nostalgia based theme for a more generalized audience. (Another reason one could think you two were kids). This choice was because the store was near a large apartment complex, where naturally, a great number of small children lived. With vibrant pink and purple stripes lining the walls, displays such as a giant plastic gummy bear holding a bowl full of gummy bear packages (even though that’s a little messed up upon deeper thought), and happy, upbeat music playing overhead, you and D-Side BF swiftly filled up your arms with everything from peanut butter cups to sour gummies; glow-in-the-dark jelly beans to soda-flavored gum; chocolate-caramel cubes to peppermint disks; and black licorice ropes to flower-shaped lollipops. 

     When the two of you had finally rung up all your stuff, promising the cashier you would space out all the treats as well as you could, the doors were once again flung open, and the two of you at last began your trek back to D-Side BF’s place to hang out for the rest of the day.

****

     Approximately five minutes into said stroll back to D-Side BF’s place, the two of you had taken note of a public city bench in the distance, and ended up deciding amongst yourselves to rest there for the moment being. This did come with a little back and forth teasing along the lines of “Sugar crash already?” and “Fat person moment.”, all with an overarching lighthearted tone, of course, whilst you sat yourself down on the left side and D-Side BF on the right (relative to the front of the bench). But ultimately, once you had gotten yourselves all settled, the both of you did have to admit that it did feel nice to just sit down and enjoy your stash for a moment, causing you to delve right back into your casual ramblings of conversation as a result. Though most of the “conversing” was to be done by D-Side BF, of course. But it wasn’t like that bothered you. Not at all! You quite enjoyed hearing what D-Side BF had to say, especially considering all the ridiculous conundrums he always got himself into, as an individual radiating the energy of a true chaotic neutral.

     “So there I was, face-to-face with that buck. I was just giving him a glare saying: ‘If you even dare thrust those antlers at me, I will personally ram you into a tree and stick those antlers inside its trunk, and then you’ll be easy pickings for any random lucky lone wolf or something’-wait a second does that lollipop actually have the power to shrink people, or is it that just a marketing thing?”

     The lollipop in sudden question was one of the flower-shaped lollipops you had picked up at the store. This particular pop was called the “Shrinking Violet”, and possessed a grape soda flavor. It also purported to have the ability to shrink those who consumed it, a claim which was rather perplexing to D-Side BF.

     “I mean I know that if you’re clever enough about it, you can get away with some pretty ridiculous shit when it comes to marketing, but…something like that?”

     To D-Side BF’s bewilderment, you could only give a friendly shrug, acknowledging your own incredulity, before hastily removing the lollipop’s wrapper, and shoving it into your mouth.

     “Well, I guess the only way to find out for sure is to eat it.” D-Side BF ultimately concluded before promptly continuing on with his story about the aggressive buck. 

     Whilst D-Side BF went on with that, you were naturally simultaneously preoccupied with the lollipop in your mouth. The flavor was of a very sharp concentration of grape soda flavor, similar to a grape jolly rancher, except a lot more sweet. Shifting around the melting piece of candy in your mouth as it left a fine, sticky, grape-flavored stain on the right side of your tongue, you began pondering just when and how the shrinking would set in if indeed the lollipop’s package was factual. Swiftly shrugging again, as you knew that you would be given your answer soon enough, you merely continued to suck on the lollipop, allowing the rich, sugary flavor to positively melt into your taste buds as you did.

     “...so eventually, I just ended up running towards the river. It wasn’t like, a particularly fast one, or a particularly wide one, but it was just fast enough and just wide enough to deter the buck from going across, whilst I could swim through it no problem. And so, I ended up escaping after all. Even though I did get all wet.”

     Concluding the buck story with a nice and poignant “Yeah, fuck that buck. Hey, that rhymed!”, D-Side BF was finally able to notice that you had taken the lollipop stick out of your mouth by this point, promptly continuing to watch as you successfully tossed the thing into the trashcan next to your side of the bench before taking a glance down at the wrapper which was still present in your hands.

     “So…feel anything different yet?”

     You were just about to reply with a slightly disappointed “Well, no, not yet…” before all of a sudden, it happened.

     Neither you nor D-Side BF could scarcely believe the accuracy of what your own senses were telling you as the shrinking process finally began, right before your two sets of working eyes; but, suffice it to say, that it took quite a while for the both of you to regain your bearings after such an unexpectedly astounding surprise, not just so you could process the shock, but also so you could process your exhilaration. 

     “...no…fucking…way…” D-Side BF decided to break the silence at last, whilst slowly lowering his left hand down towards your shrunken form. You, now at the size of a peppermint, swiftly clamored into the center of the palm, and off of the lollipop wrapping which you had previously been holding as such. D-Side BF proceeded to lift you up in his left hand, whilst reaching over for the wrapper with his right. Once he had finally brought both hands up to eye-level, he had finally pulled himself back together to the point where he could formulate full sentences again.

     “I guess the package really wasn’t lying! Huh!” he managed to conclude to himself, before picking himself up off the bench in order to make his way over to the trash can and throw the now unneeded wrapper away.

     “Welp! I guess this means you’re getting a free ride all the way home!” D-Side BF at last deduced whilst gathering up the candy stash into the bags in order to carry them all in his right hand. “Lucky.” he lightheartedly added on a tease at the end.

     And with that, D-Side BF was just about to place your tiny form upon his shoulder where you could ride upon his giant body more comfortably, and also so he could use both hands to carry the candy bags, before, in yet another display of outside forces activating the both of your jolting, immediate, instinctive, and primal instincts to freeze in paralyzing shock, sending a horrid jolt of terror down both of your petrified spines.

     Once the eardrum-bursting boom of the thunder had rolled its way off into the endlessness of the rapidly darkening sky, and the both of you were once again able to properly think and function, D-Side BF glances up towards the graying azure, observing as a result the briskness at which the storm clouds were gathering. It would then only take a couple more seconds, before the reality fully set in.

     “We…” he shakily stuttered, his mind still considerably scrambled from the recent chilling panic. “We-We need to get you somewhere safe. The rain’ll be a lot more dangerous for someone your size, and I…I’m not taking any chances…” he allowed his lightly quivering voice to trail off. 

     “But where…” he eventually continued on, glancing down at your form with a soft and worried gaze. “Where do I-”

     And then, a significantly more tame, yet undeniably recognized noise emulated out from D-Side BF’s midsection. 

     And yet, this time, it was no unwelcome sound by a longshot, and the gears in D-Side BF’s head, as well as yours, promptly began turning.

     “D-do you think…” D-Side BF begins sheepishly suggesting after a good, long moment of thinking. “Do you think you’d be…comfortable? Um…in there?”

     You could not have given a quicker, more affirmative, yet more understanding cry of “Of course!” if you tried. Upon hearing this response in such a manner, D-Side BF appeared to subconsciously blush from all of the much-needed, friendly affection for a second, considering the horrific startle the two of you had just experienced together, before immediately snapping back into conscious thought barely an instant later, giving his now slightly embarrassed body a light shake, whilst reminding himself just why he needed to do this in the first place.

     Upon said reminder, then, D-Side BF recognized that it would be best to get you down there as soon as was possible for the both of you. Thus, he hastily raised up his hand to his mouth, gave a slight head cock over to you to confirm you were going to be okay, before, upon receiving yet another affirmative answer, taking in and out a deep breath, and finally unveiling his maw. 

     A few goopy tendrils of saliva promptly break apart as the squishy, pink maw of D-Side BF lies open and gaping before you, his smoothened, slimy tongue extending outwards in order to bridge the gap between his palm and the inside of his warm maw. Quickly shuffling on your hands and knees up and along the bridge of the tongue, before breaching the natural barrier of D-Side BF’s lips, (being mindful of his sharp teeth as you do), the dramatic difference in temperature proceeds to strike your skin almost immediately. The warm, cozy atmosphere of the air up against the cold, and now, considerably windy, storm-brewing outside world is what cues you to scramble all the way inside and onto the middle of the tongue so that D-Side BF would be able to close his maw. 

     Hastily shifting some of the bags in his right hand to his left, before beginning to walk once more, so the two of you would be able to get back to his place faster, D-Side BF then raises up the roof of his mouth so you on the inside wouldn’t feel as cramped, before lifting his salivating tongue up just slightly so he could gently slide you on down towards his gullet.

     You, upon realizing that D-Side BF is indeed considerably anxious to get you down to his stomach, so he could be absolutely, positively sure you were safe, swiftly squish yourself down and gently nuzzle your cheek upon the sleek surface of his tongue in appreciation of his loving concern. Wrapping your arms all around the pink muscle before carefully squeezing it tight, you only hold this state for just long enough so that D-Side BF could understand the message you were trying to send, quickly unraveling yourself from the muscle after the moment had passed, and finally allowing the law of gravity to aid you on your journey as you cautiously slid your way down D-Side BF’s slippery tongue, down past his plump, dangling uvula, and into his gullet as such.

     D-Side BF wastes absolutely zero time before lifting up his chin just slightly, and gently gulping you down. For you on the inside, as your head was practically shoved right inside of the upper esophageal sphincter, you were able to see D-Side BF’s epiglottis covering up the entrance to his windpipe, as the powerful muscles of said sphincter immediately squeezed you down into his purple esophagus.

      A few seconds after, as he is able to feel the slight bulge squelching its way down his throat, D-Side BF heaves out a hefty sigh, knowing that now, he had done all that he could, and that it was time for his body to handle the rest.

     Meanwhile, back on the inside of the relatively gigantic man, the constant, soothing, almost massage-like motions of peristalsis consistently compressed the smooth, cushiony esophageal walls up against your body, before shoving you forwards through its muscular tube, releasing the walls’ hold for a moment, and finally, starting all over again. With such rhythmic bodily contractions, it wouldn’t be very long before you had disappeared behind D-Side BF’s collarbone, leaving you able as such, to faintly pick up the pounding of his heartbeat, something which would only grow louder and louder as time marched on and you were shoved deeper and deeper into your giant friend’s body.

     Eventually, after quite some time of being squeezed and squelched through the natural, tight, heated tunnel, you were able to gain sight of the lower esophageal sphincter, leaving you fated to be shoved out into D-Side BF’s stomach by the powerful shove of the natural valve as such, before subsequently splash landing into the harmless liquids within. 

     Swiftly sitting up inside the tummy before giving your body a slight dog-like shake and shuffling on over to the stomach wall in order to lay yourself up against it, you casually squish yourself into, before subsequently nuzzling against the cushiony muscle, softly exhaling a sigh of relief and contentment. Listening in pure and peaceful bliss to the ambient gurgling and groaning reverberating around inside the smooth, purple stomach, the constant light shifting and churning of the walls cause the waters around you, as well as you yourself to an extent, to shift slosh about just slightly, within the growling chamber of D-Side BF’s stomach.

     Accompanying your head-nuzzling with a bit of hand-rubbing as well, you were able as a result to give D-Side BF a definitive message letting him know you were not only safe, but cheerful and comfortable, as well. 

     Now that he on the outside didn’t have to worry about his little friend being endangered by the rain anymore, or about him getting embarrassed by his blushing, D-Side BF subsequently allowed his cheeks to fully flush, his midsection pleasantly tingling from the gentle internal rubbing as he casually trodding along the darkening streets of the city. 

     D-Side BF wished deeply to return the loving gesture, and yet, with both of his hands occupied by the bag, and with the weather very very quickly turning bad, thereby forcing him to be in a hurry to get back to his place before the rain began, he just simply couldn’t.

     Nonetheless, the simple, yet so deeply touching wondrousness of the internal rubbing did quite a lot in helping D-Side BF calm down, despite the fact he was in a rush to get home, and despite the trembling scare he had gotten back from the thunder. D-Side BF knew that his little friend was safe, and he also knew that his little friend was currently returning the gesture of said safety. This, to D-Side BF, within that very moment, was all that he needed to know.

[courfeyracs-swordcane]

Teddy... after being mutuals w you for who knows how long I NEED to ask... what does robobs mean? I've been paying attention to the tags on my notifs for a bit and I think that's the one thing I still have no clue about ahdkshfjshfjd

OH BOY! You’ve activated my trap card!

Short version: tag for me and the gang ( @nosongunsung11 @coyotefang1987 @wildfandom @lemonade-comet @dogliker73 )’s transformers ocs. When I first made the spreadsheet I titled it ‘Robobs’ and it stuck. In March we made a 120 slide power point explaining the lore and we’ve made like 20 new guys since then

LONG VERSION: (and I’m only getting into blorbos from MY brain bc there’s like 85 of these mfers collectively)(Guys who come in several separate-but-linked subsets)

(edit: now with images! picrews linked here, here, here, and here and art by @orange-artist/@nosongunsung11)

THE OGS:

Packet and Pinch: (turn into biplanes) little guys who came after the war, them and their dad sometimes moonlight on a research vessel called Forte Spes where theoretically they’re archival assistants but mostly what that means is that Pinch holds the microphone during interviews because when Packet was allowed to do that he kept eating it. When they’re a little older Pinch gets a proper job on Forte Spes helping out and Packet joins the mafia/eventually winds up inheriting an organized crime unit and accidentally taking over a small city (think like JVJ’s Madeleine era except not on purpose)

Hot Shot: (turns into a diy dragrace car) himbo. former Autobot soldier turned drifter (technically looking for one of his war buddies who disappeared but he keeps getting sidetracked) turned preschool teaching assistant on the moon. Frontman of a very small emo band. Meter’s twin brother, Aileron’s best friend, (Sweets isn’t mine, but) Sweets’s self-invited roommate (weird gay thing)

Meter: (used to turn into a regular car, now functions as a speedometer)(also his name is actually Gauge, Aileron just started calling him Metermaid to make fun of him and it stuck) wildly normal little guy for being so fucked up. Got his face and hands and altmode taken by the government for being an anarchist in cop college. Spent the war on the world’s most legally questionable enemies to lovers roadtrip looking for his brother. Hot Shot’s twin, Aileron’s husband.

Aileron: (turns into a massive fucking jet) pointedly neutral freelance journalist. Extremely chill and wildly pessimistic. Can and will befriend anyone with an unfortunate heaping side of terminal Everyone He Really Cares About Keeps Fucking Disappearing Into Thin Air disease. Spent the road-trip causing problems on purpose bc it was funny and also bc he was pretty sure Hot Shot was dead and he didn’t know how to tell Meter so he was stalling. Meter’s husband, Hot Shot’s best friend.

THE ANCIENTS:

Catalyzer (Cat): (left)(turns into a shield except no he doesn’t anymore because he has daddy issues) fucked up old knight. Kind of a dick except with his knight partner and her spouse (the three of them come as a set do not separate <3) and with his little sister (150ft tall). Memory issues wildly exacerbated by the fact that he spent ten million years on the euthanasia planet. There’s a very good au in which he co-parents his nephew w his ex’s ex-wife.

Firefight (FF): (turns into a flamethrower except no he doesn’t bc what if he fucks up his paint) Bitchass little twink. Catalyzer’s shitty ex who lobotomized him. The god of transformation’s special little boy and he’s gonna make it everyone’s problem. After the god war (during which he helped work on a large-scale lobotomy project that made everyone forget the gods) he realized that if there’s not gods to hang around he can’t get special treatment for being god’s special little boy anymore so he fucked off to live in a cave for ten million years and only came out for Cat’s little sister’s funeral bc he figured everyone who would have known him would be dead by now except spoiler alert no they’re not and he immediately gets his ass beat. We don’t have time to get into his wife.

Moonshadow (Shades): (turns into a shuttle)(uses that to cause problems) Catalyzer’s nephew (she/her), troublemaking Weird Little Art Girl TM who’s constantly tagging along on any mission she can get herself into. Unfortunately that includes the mission that lands everyone on the euthanasia planet :(

Equalizer (EQ): (turns into. Maybe a grenade. I haven’t decided yet) Firefight’s ‘apprentice’/weird intense son he didn’t ask for and doesn’t want and also is lowkey terrified of. Functions entirely on looney toons logic. Theoretically xey’re supposed to be helping FF w his lobotomies but he’s scared xey’ll be better than him and take his job so mostly xyr job is knocking people out with the blunt end of xyr Massive Fucking Scythe for their nonconsensual government-assigned brain surgeries and being generally unsettling. Spends FF cave arc waiting outside where he told xem to which xey're not fucked up about but it does make xem very much more fucked up.

Legion: (turns into I don’t know yet probably an anvil or a lever): Little knight guy under the god of wisdom. Dumb as a box of rocks. Trying so fuxking hard all the time and not really getting anywhere with it but that’s okay. Loves his friends so goddamn much. Really fuckin stupid for a guy who kind of functions as the voice of reason in the polycule. Died on the euthanasia planet. :(

Endymion: (turns into a unicorn)(but like the goat kind) goldenboy blacksmith, built to help the main god make guys, conscientious objector to the god war so now he helps out in the armory. Haunted as hell (just kind of vibing with it). Missed the mission that landed everyone on the euthanasia planet and got locked out of the armory :(

DECEPTICON HR OFFICE/EXTENDED CONSTRUCTION UNIT:

Zephyr aka Dreadnought: (used to turn into a flashdrive, tried to do some sketchy ass back alley surgery to turn into something better and fucked it up so now he can’t turn into anything) edgy little goth twink lying wildly about almost everything abt himself. Former spy, current guy who sits in the corner of the office chainsmoking and giving off absolutely rancid vibes. He’s writing a memoir. (it’s bad.) Gets Fixed by the power of Carburetor going “wow, do you have any other slogans from like. Hot topic?” and is really confusingly normal at the postwar HR reunion/Hadron and his boyfriend’s impromptu wedding

Carburetor (CB): (used to turn into a pickup truck, got exploded) readymade soldier who wound up taking over as mostly-untrained medic when the actual medic was killed bc he had spent a lot of time in the medbay recently (due to the getting exploded incident) and kind of osmosed hopefully enough to go off of. Takes no shit but has terminal “I Can Fix Him” Disease (both romantically and medically) but really he’s the one getting fixed—he has a hobby now! 😊 (it’s Zephyr)

Hadron: (serial number ending in 0104)(turns into a crane) starry-eyed little science guy with a secondhand soul. Part of the construction unit and also working part time (illegally) in HR. Defected to the Autobots towards the end of the war and is now doing a goddamn lot of finding out for very little fucking around. Very easy to manipulate. Both has a missing boyfriend and is the missing boyfriend. Main character disease (affectionate but oh dear god at what cost)

Reefer: (0100)(take a wild guess) de-facto leader/union rep of the construction unit by virtue of being built first. Doing his goddamn best but he’s fundamentally just a sillyguy. Also has a secondhand soul but he doesn’t know about it. Would do anything for his little guys. Sneaks Hadron his science magazines. Hazard’s qpp, Hadron’s bestie, other side of Rico’s coin. Died during the great latewar Construction Unit Defection.

Hazard: (0101)(turns into a dump truck) absolutely fuckin massive very nice and kind SIC & emotional support of the construction unit. Also has a secondhand soul but it’s never really relevant. Guy who’s usually the one to talk to outsiders for the gang. Has never held a gun but almost got sent to the front lines of the war bc they’re Fucking Huge and hella shit was pulled to Stop That Happening (without them even knowing in the first place). Reefer’s qpp, Dyker (0102) isn’t mine and there’s a lot of lore but Dyker is their best friend (I think?). Dead. (Meter pushed them off one of the spires of Decepticon HQ bc they asked if he was okay and were a little too concerned)

Ricochet (Rico): (0103)(turns into a backhoe) oh she’s so fucked up. She’s so fucked up. Also has a secondhand soul and she’s not really aware of that but she’s not normal about it either. Hadron’s older sister figure (derogatory), other side of Reefer’s coin (Threefer), imprinted hard on Dyker and took the Shit That Got Pulled really REALLY badly. Blames Hadron for Reefer’s death to avoid blaming herself. Was briefly a neutral medic but went back to the Decepticons real quick and took the ending of the war also incredibly badly. (And by incredibly badly I mean she got a group to try and restart the war and recruited a bunch of guys to try and replace her family and it’s Not Working)

Chainlink: (turns into a tank)(attempt at replacing Hazard) Rico’s Fucking Massive SIC/de-facto bodyguard who’s really not jazzed about following someone else’s orders. Does it anyway out of… respect that she got there first (or something.) but makes it very very clear that Ze Would Kill Her (in a weird gay way) If Ze Got the Chance. (Ze is in fact given the chance and Doesn’t Take It. Neither of them are really sure how to cope with that). Died one time during the war but got better and is kind of an asshole about that. Mean sense of humor.

Sprocket: (turns into a handheld cannon)(Hadron but Rico likes him) literally just a little guy. Built on Earth approximately three days before the war ended and doesn’t actually know what that means for anything. Definitely getting a little bit gaslighted here. Finds out abt that and is so betrayed/hurt/doesn’t know what else to do that he turns them all in and fucks off to actually see the universe and the planet outside the war and also go to robot law school. Does tech/support/recon for the squad’s endeavors and missions from a secret third location

Roughhouse: (turns into a lifted ass Ford F150)(Reefer 2 smarter boogaloo) Sprocket’s bestie and everyone’s emotional support himbo and by emotional support himbo I mean this guy is treating this revolution like a kindergarten teacher. Guy who 100% tried to set up a sticker system to try and get Rico and Chainlink to be normal. He’s not even that invested in it he just thinks it’s funny to get Rico overly invested in things she’s Going to lose. Yes she’s his boss technically yes she forgets that sometimes (younger sister instinct). The fanciest and only prewar member of the gang. Former bouncer, early Decepticon recruit, current pacifist and backup guy.

THE SECRET OTHER OPTION:

Rudder: of Rudder and Oar fame. They don’t give a shit they’re just out there fishing. A lot of the time they wind up picking up body parts/people but that’s not what they’re fishing for so they just toss them in the back to sell to the mafia. Together they turn into a bigger boat.