“i used to live there” is such a sad phrase. seeing places u used to live in is an odd thing. It’s like ‘i know where the best hiding place is in there. my bedroom was the one directly to the left as you walk in. i took my first steps on that flooring. i used to play in that yard with my grandma. she died two years ago. that was the only place i ever knew. those walls contain all of my childhood memories. i can no longer go there, but i know every corner like the back of my hand.’
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Dew who undergoes his transition and simply refuses to go near the water at all. The one thing he's always loved, and now he can't even bear to look at it. It feels too devastating to even think about.
He knows if he steps foot into a body of water he's never coming out again.
Even though he's a fire ghoul now, he can still feel that pull. Looks at the water longingly from the tour bus windows. Dreads the beach days that are so few and far between.
But he wants and he wants and he wants. So desperately. To feel the waves on his skin. Can feel the pull from Aphrodite even still.
It's been years. He's doing okay now. He accepts his transition for what it is, welcomes it above all else. Knows he's so far from where he was then. He's okay.
And so, hand in hand with Rain, he steps into the ocean again.
Lets his laughter bubble up like seafoam. Lets the water rush up and take over him. It's like a mothers love. It's like coming home again.
And if anyone sees the salt of his tears mix with the salt of the ocean, know that it's only from the joy of returning to what he loves.
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obvs i think lyta and g'kar just end up flying around the universe together 5ever but i used to think that like... lyta faked her death etc. and established a colony for teeps. and that was her nice little endgame.
but even in that sort of setting i had this idea of her off in her own little cottage away from everyone else because even around other telepaths, around telepaths who owe their rights to her, she'll still never be one of them because of the uniqueness of everything she's been through.
in hindsight, all telepaths are products of the vorlons so it would be weird for people to have TOO much of a problem with her because of that... but it is still a bit different, and not something i think most would have an easy time accepting about themselves either. even for telepaths with more unique stories of being experimented on by other telepaths and so on, it's still... different.
but idk i think the idea was that even if they do accept her or are grateful to her etc, even if they do form a little no-blocks-allowed hivemind commune vorlon-style where she is a LITERAL part of the community... she wouldn't feel like one of them. on a social hierarchy level, she's a leader with different responsibilities. on a physical level, she's closer to the vorlons than she is to being human. and even on a mindscape level, she is so different from the rest of them in ways that sort of hivemind situation would only make easier to see (though i guess, to an extent, people can understand her better through it?)
i guess that's my issue with her being left to fight the teep war tbh. i don't think it's something she ever would have gotten wrapped up in to that extent in her own because it really doesn't concern her. she's her own thing at this point, and while i absolutely believe she would've helped... and while i think for a bit, it felt like she was finally CHOOSING to be a weapon in a fight she actually felt would benefit her... it still wasn't really for her.
that's not to say this is at all how it would really go. i'm just digging back into some old ideas and those ideas did lean toward very depressing, so maybe things could've been happier if this did play out for her.
i just do still love the whole unique hybrid-y experience she's got going on and i think that's another reason i really adore her getting to go off with g'kar, because he's been deified as much as someone from her generation of the universe can be without becoming part-vorlon (and he's had his vorlon experiences too). and she's basically part-vorlon. he can never go back to his old life, he can never be normal, he can never exist with other narns. and she can never exist with other humans or telepaths or mundanes so why not make a home with each other.
it's wild bc there are so many Unique characters at this point, like delenn also having a hybrid and vorlon experience, and things working out so much better for her, but i feel like i've talked lyta's thoughts on delenn to death.
it's just something i rly am obsessed with, the idea of walking between two different worlds and never quite being at home in either one so having to carve out your own. it's not that people who are at home in one world can't then be part of it with you, because honestly the biggest factor in not fitting into a singular world is when the people don't accept you in them. for lyta, humans are weirded out by the vorlon thing and the vorlons are gone. so anyone who does love her for Her, esp in such a diverse universe, is going to feel like home. it just helps to have people who are riding their own wave of Can't Go Home who get it i guess.
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