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#will reblog a million times bc I love how it came out
oobbbear · 11 months
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She’s the brightest pearl
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i think if be okay to write jwon smut / suggestive things bcs he is of age so wheres the wrong in that?
Hickeys - Yang Jungwon
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A/n : Hello everyone! Some of you were asking me to write something 'smutty' for Jungwon, but since he's just turned 20 I'll let is sit for a while and start off with some mild 'smut', but mostly suggestive. This is my first time giving it a shot, so I rly hope you enjoy reading it!
Also, Thankyou so so so much for the love you guys are showing on my previous posts!! A big thanks to everyone who liked, reblogged or even followed! I appreciate you all sooo much <333
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Pairings : Bf!Jungwon X Fem!Reader
Warnings : fluff, slight angst, suggestive, mentions of grinding, kissing, making out, neck kissing, hickeys, marking, feeling one another over clothes, both inexperienced tbh, mentions of food, reader is stressed at beginning, comfort, hugs, kinda has a shitty ending.
Word count : 1294 words
Masterlist - Tips
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It was the worst time of the year; exam week. You always stressed so much about your grades, studying till morning and even forgetting to eat, all for nothing. When your report cards came back, your heart shatters into a millions pieces. No matter how hard you try, your best isn't good enough.
You were honestly feeling like a big failure, and didn't know what you were going to do in your life. Unlike Jungwon, who wasn't only successful with his music career, but also graduated with amazing grades.
It's not that you were jealous of him; not at all. It's just that you constantly compared yourself to him and soon realised that you don't deserve him. He deserves a better person. Someone more intelligent perhaps, someone who could flex their grades and collages to his parents not someone who can barely pass a simple exam.
You were so clouded in your thoughts that you didn't even realise that he had entered inside your house, took off his shoes and coat and walked to your seat.
"Y/n?" he calls out for you and waves his hand in front of your face in a teasing manner. You blinked your eyes and looked up at him, smiling in an instant. He was such a comforting person to you, yet you felt bad because your thoughts told you that you weren't good enough for him.
"H-hi" you let out, running a hand through your hair as he placed a bag over the kitchen counter. "Have you eaten yet? I got food" He announced, placing the take out on the counter.
"Mm, no" you admit, sighing. He sighs as well as he walks over to you. "Aww y/n. You overwork yourself too much on some unimportant grades" he says, his warm hands coming up to your face "Look at you, are you even sleeping?" he asks worriedly, his thumbs caressing your dark eyebags.
"Kinda" you reply shortly, looking up at his worried expression. "You shouldn't stress too much baby, grades don't define you" he leans down and presses his lips to yours in a soft kiss. But it's not a normal kiss you notice. His lips kiss yours for a longer time than usual.
"Perhaps you need a break?" he asks you gingerly, grabbing your hands and pulling you out of your chair, leading you to the sofa inside the living room.
He sits down first, pulling you on top of him. Your knees are on both sides of his thighs, and your hands are on his shoulders, his on your waist.
You look into his eyes and he looks into yours, admiring each other with loving gazes. He smiles and pulls you into an unexpected hug, his hands wrapping around your figure and yours around his neck.
You breathe in his comforting scent, sighing in relief. He's here you think to yourself, relaxing in his warm embrace. He knows you needed a hug, being too stressed about exams and barely interacting with anyone. It's like you've zoned off to yourself lately.
He pulls back after a few minutes, his lips immediately landing back on yours. His hands move back to your waist, pulling you flush against him. Your hands move from his neck to the back of his head, deepening the kiss.
As your mouth moves against his, his tongue darts out to lick your lips, asking for entrance. When you wouldn't get the message, his hands grind your hips on him, making you let out a muffled whine, taking the opportunity to slide his tongue into your parted lips.
You gasp at the sensation, his tongue meeting yours and exploring your mouth, all while his lips massage against yours. After a while, he pulls away out of breath, breathing heavily trying to catch his breath; just like you.
"Fuck Y/n, You're driving me crazy-" he almost cuts himself off as he leans in again, too addicted to your kisses. You part your lips again, and your tongues collide once again, he sucks on your wet muscle, trying to suck it into his mouth.
It's your turn to explore his mouth now. Saliva mixes together as you two become literally tongue-tied; Your tongues in each other's mouth, tasting one another.
You subconsciously grind on his crotch, too aroused with the feeling of his mouth on yours. His hands reach higher till they're situated under your bra-less breasts, subtly feeling them on his palm.
He lets out a whimper when you place pressure on a particular spot, alerting you of what you are doing. You pull away, looking at his state, messy hair and hazed eyes.
"Would it be okay if I kissed your neck?" he questions hopefully, out of breath. You hum positively and nod your head, giving him the greenlight. He hesitantly leans in, his soft lips making contact with your neck. Goosebumps decorate your skin at the contact, a shiver running up your spine.
Not long after you feel his tongue on your skin, licking a stripe up your neck. You hands grip his hair, pulling at it when he kisses a particular sensitive spot on your neck.
"Mmm yeah Wonnie, keep going" you encourage, your hands gripping harder on his soft hair and your hips rocking desperately on his hardening length.
You feel him get harder, but you don't say anything, now wanting to embarrass him. He continues abusing your neck, sucking harshly and reddening your skin. You would even feel his teeth sometimes, gently biting love marks on the side of your neck.
Suddenly, he pulls back "Why'd you stop?" you ask him, disappointed. "It will leave a mark if I continue" he explained "There are red marks already"
You smile at his concern "They're just hickeys Jungwon. It's fine, I know how to cover them up" you mumble, petting his hair. "So how about you give me some?"
He looks up at you as he leans down again, this time not holding back and fully marking you as his. His hands that were on your waist snuck under your shirt, feeling your warm skin.
He sucks desperately on your neck, reddening marks blooming on there. "How about I give you some?" you ask him "Will you let me kiss your neck?"
He leans back to admire his work and nods at you once he considers the question. He stands there awkwardly till you lean into his neck, starting off with a few gently kisses, almost in a teasing manner, pecking his skin.
He starts whining the second you lips meet the skin right below his ear, his sensitive spot, kissing it a little bit harder just to make him squirm. You suck it and gently nip at it, not wanting to mark him in such an evident area since he's not allowed.
Your tongue licks a stripe down his neck and your lips land on his collarbones, sucking and gently biting at the pretty bones. He whimpers softly, bucking up into you and holding your waist tighter, surely leaving a mark.
"Mm Y/n" he throws his head back to give your lips more space to work on as his hands guide your hips to grind on him at a decent pace, not too fast but not slow either.
You hands also make their way up his sweater, resting on his abs for support. You lean back and admire the red blooming marks on his collarbones, where they can be easily hidden.
"You're so pretty Wonnie" you worship, making a blush creep onto his cheeks. He smiles at you "So are you" He leans in again, but just as he's going to stick his tongue into your mouth (for the nth time) you hear the main door unlock.
"Shit, my parents are here"
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Thankyou so much for reading!
Tbhhhh I don't really know about this one. It's clearly not my best work since I'm not used to 'mild smut' or suggestiveness in general. Butttt I do hope that I can write better fics for Jungwon in the future.
Also a lot of you have been giving me the go ahead to write smut for Jungwon (Tysm for sharing your opinions!) so I might consider it!
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If you enjoyed this post, you can help support my blog by tipping me here! Anything is highly appreciated!
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wwinterwitch · 2 years
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safe space - steve harrington x fem!reader
summary: steve was afraid to admit his feelings for you, until the fear of losing you to someone else was stronger
pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader
word count: 1,895
warnings/what to expect: angst and fluff, insecure!steve, jealous!steve, mentions of alcohol, house party, kissing, the fruity four is featured bc why not, sharing feelings
a/n: this was also requested so thanks to the lovely anon who requested it!!
a comment and/or reblog is always appreciated
masterlist | AO3  
"Well, I'm gonna get drunk."
"Eddie!" Robin exclaimed.
"What? It's the only reason I came to this stupid party."
"I'll go with you then," she insisted, grabbing his shoulders to push him towards the backyard of the house. "I'll make sure he doesn't fall into his self-destructive tendencies!"
"You're being dramatic," he argued.
"Am I?" Robin asked. "Remember last time we had to drag you to Steve's car and you kept trying to get out, saying that you wanted to walk home 'cause the moon was pretty?"
"That was a one time thing."
"Well, this is me making sure it is a one time thing."
"Children," Nancy muttered when she saw Robin and Eddie walking away, still bickering. "Actual children."
"Yeah, I think we need to stop being friends with that many children. It's starting to become a pattern."
Nancy laughed at his comment as they both walked further inside the house. She could tell Steve was already looking for you, scanning the entirety of the place in hopes to see you somewhere.
The two of them went to get a can of soda each. Nancy didn't feel like drinking and Steve was, as always, the designated driver of the friend group.
"Maybe she's not here yet?" tried Nancy, looking up at her friend who continued to look around.
"She? Who– who are we talking about here?"
"Oh, right. As if you haven't been looking around like a complete maniac to find her," she joked. "Are you going to finally tell her?"
The answer was very clear. Despite having a massive crush on you, Steve would never in a million years tell you. He's better off dating random girls here and there that he's not really interested in at all. That's his new security system, apparently.
Because it's so easy dating someone you don't care about, and even tho Steve felt terrible for pretending with all these girls he had dated, they make him feel safe. He doesn't expect anything from then or their "relationship", because he just doesn't care. He doesn't get his hopes up, he doesn't get his heart broken.
But with you, things get complicated. He is going to expect something, he is going to get his hopes up, so he's inevitably getting his heart crushed into tiny pieces.
Steve can't go through that again. Even when him and Nancy are now very good friends and they both love each other in a platonic way, Steve could still remember how difficult it was for him to get over her. That relationship was terrible, and it left Steve thinking he wasn't meant to ever get his happy ending with someone else. It's just Steve. Steve the babysitter who's surrounded by kids. Steve the lonely guy.
So if he's not meant for serious relationships, why even bother? Might as well suffer in silence because it seems far more tolerable than having to suffer for someone else that doesn't want to be with you.
Though it was difficult, because even tho you didn't hang out most of the time, you happened to be one of the unlucky people in Hawkins that know about the Upside Down, which mean you have hanged out sometimes.
Your family is very close to the Byers, you and Jonathan practically growing up together, so ever since Will got missing you were very involved in the search, quickly becoming part of the group. You knew about what was happening even before he did.
So every time something Upside Down related happens, you'll be there. And Steve has to pretend like you're not the most beautiful girl he has ever seen, or that you're practically all he can think about whenever you're around. Problem was that you never seemed to show any interest in him that passed the barrier of a simple friendship. You treated him the same way as you would treat everyone, so he knew his feelings weren't reciprocated in the slightest.
It'd be much better if you didn't know about any of that, because that means you two would never hang out, making it easier for Steve to try not to think about you.
Nancy and Steve eventually found you. You were just entering the house with your group of friends, all of you immediately going to the backyard as you said hi to a few people along the way. Meanwhile, the two of them remained in the kitchen with their non-alcoholic beverage.
"For what it's worth," she continued since Steve wasn't replying. "I think she might like you back."
Steve looked down at Nancy, who was flashing a sympathetic smile at him. "I don't think so, but...thanks."
"Maybe you should try talking to her tonight and see where it goes?" she tried once again.
"Yeah, maybe...I don't know."
Nancy simply nodded, letting the subject go. Eventually, Eddie and Robin joined them in the kitchen. Robin immediately grabbed a can from the counter and put away the beer can she was holding.
"Thank god," she muttered. "I needed this."
Eddie grabbed Robin's unfinished beer, making sure to drink it after he finishes his. "Hey, Harrington. We talked to your girlfriend outside."
"She's not my girlfriend."
His friend smirked. "Well, the fact that I don't even have to say a name kinda says it all."
"She asked about you," Robin said this time.
Almost immediately, Steve's features soften and his eyes light up. "She did?"
"Yup. Asked if you we here."
"What? And what did you say?"
"That you are?" Eddie replied as if it was obvious. "She was all smiles and heart eyes when she heard that. Just like you're looking at us now."
Nancy immediately nudged Steve with obvious excitement. "I told you! Go talk to her!"
"Yeah, okay...yeah, wait– what should I tell her?"
Eddie scoffed. "You're the Steve Harrington. Isn't talking to girls kinda your thing?"
"She's different," he explained.
"So romantic," commented Robin sarcastically. "Look, just be yourself. Ask her how she's doing, what are her plans for the summer, invite her to dance...you know, basic human interactions."
"Everything will be fine," Nancy said, being the only one actually trying to be supportive and serious about this. "If she asked about you, it means she's interested."
Steve gave his three friends a look before finally deciding to do something about his crush for you. Deep down he was still scared, but talking to you one time at a party doesn't mean anything, right? That wouldn't hurt him (or so he hopes).
When he got out of the house and into the backyard, he struggled a little to find you because there were a lot of people at the party. Eventually, he spotted you, but his heart sank when he noticed you were talking with another guy.
He was saying something, standing very close to you, and he couldn't bare to see you laughing at whatever that guy just said. Almost immediately, he felt anger rushing though his entire body. This shouldn't be happening. It should be him the one talking to you, maybe saying some silly joke to get you to laugh because he loves your smile. It should be him the one standing so close to you, not...whoever that was.
And maybe Steve should've got back to the house and settle with the idea that you were already talking with someone else. That he lost his change of getting your attention tonight. But he didn't do that.
It was unclear to him what possessed him to walk towards the two of you, clearly interrupting your conversation. "Hi," he said very awkwardly.
At the sight of him, your smile instantly disappeared, wondering what the hell he was doing. "Uh...hi, Steve," you said. It's not like you're not happy to see him, but his approach was definitely unexpected.
"Thanks for keeping her company, man," he added shortly after, smiling at whoever it was that you were talking to. Then, he grabbed your hand to drag you away.
"What was that?" you asked, genuinely confused.
"I, uh...I don't know. Looked like he was bothering you."
"He wasn't."
"Oh, well...I just know that guy from around. Terrible guy."
"Yeah, I know him too. And he's actually really nice," you continued, looking more and more confused. "Is there something going on? Shit, please tell me we don't have to go through a portal again."
"No, no. That's not it."
"Then what is it?"
"I...I just– I guess I wanted to talk to you? It's kinda important."
You nodded, waiting for him to continue. Steve's heart was beating so fast, he thought he could actually have a heart attack any minute. To be a so called "ladies magnet" he has absolutely no game when it came to you, which completely terrifies him. It makes him vulnerable, which is the last thing he wants since the last time he allowed himself to be vulnerable his heart was broken.
"Well, I don't know if I was too obvious or not in the past, but...I kinda have a thing for you?"
Your face showed you weren't expecting that. "You do?"
"Yeah," he says, nothing but obvious relief in the way he let that out. He felt like the biggest weight was lift off his shoulders. "God, I mean...you are the only thing I can think about all day."
"Why– why didn't you say anything before?"
"I was scared," he shrugged, the look on his face made your heart melt. "As you probably know, I'm the worst at keeping a girlfriend. Thing is, I'm so bad at it because I never allow myself to get too comfortable, you know? I put a barrier up because I'm so scared to let someone in just to watch them disappoint me."
His confession was truly hard to hear. To know Steve had feelings for you but he never wanted to talk about it because he was already thinking you would break his heart without even giving you a chance. After what he said, you couldn't help but lift your hand up to his face, resting your palm against the skin of his cheek. It was adorable to see him lean into your touch, as if he has been waiting years for this to happen.
"Steve, I would never hurt you," you said, meaning every word.
"You promise?" he asked barely above a whisper. You noticed his voice slightly breaking, his eyes shinning a little more due to the few tears starting to pool in his eyes.
"I promise."
The smile appearing on Steve's face has got to be the most beautiful thing you've ever had the pleasure of witnessing. He couldn't hold himself back any longer, leaning into you to kiss you. You quickly melted into the kiss, gladly accepting it as his arms wrapped around you tight. His kiss was sweet, yet needy. He has been waiting for this moment for a long time, the kiss being a perfect indicator of it.
As soon as the he pulled away from you, he rested his head against the crook of your neck, hugging you.
At that moment you felt it. The way his shoulders would relax, his head resting on your shoulder, he was so at peace. He allowed to let his worries go as he pulled you close to his body, trusting that there's no safer place in the world than being in-between your arms.
And you hugged him back just at tight, hoping that would let him know you are a safe place. That you'll always be there to care for him and protect him. That the last thing you'll ever want to do is to see him hurt.
For once, he believed it. He believed he deserves to be comfortable and put his guard down. He does deserve to be happy with you.
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uglypastels · 2 years
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Hey!!! I love your writing!! I was wondering if you could write like a headcanon of something with the reader dating eddie and being on her period or something?? 💝
Thank you!! I definitely needed to write this and a shoutout goes to all my fellow menstruating peeps <3 hope you feel better soon. (warning though, I don't know how to write headcanons, so I'm just doing my own thing here). [[i'm also going to be posting a longer fic this evening hopefully, and I'm sorry to not have worked more on the requests, so yes, I'm using this as a little bit of compensation]]
eddie requests always welcome!!! // taglist // support by reblogging!
Warning; (period) blood. Light swearing. Eddie being the sweetest mutherfucker there is.  maybe out of character stuff, bc i'm projecting
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So, it being the 80s, being on your period was not very great. Like, it's still stigmatised, but nothing compares to a few decades ago. 
It was just not talked about. 
You've had a few boyfriends maybe, but never had even dared to utter the word around them. You didn't want to gross them out.
When it came around to that time of the month, you would just tell them you "didn't feel well" or something like that, which was true, but would drop the topic soon after. And not that it mattered a lot, the relationships never lasted for too long.
But then Eddie came along and your whole world changed. 
That man did not care about a single thing and he despises the patriarchy. Maybe he doesn't know how it all works, but he knows that periods exist. Like, he wasn't too great in science but it doesn't take a genius to know that it was a natural process. He might not know exactly when you are having your worse days, but he's aware you have them. He doesn't make shitty "is it that time of the month?" jokes or any other dumb comments about it if you ever get a bit emotional or don't feel too good. You are still not really comfortable talking about it openly, not because of Eddie specifically, but because of everyone else and how you grew up. But if you did ever slip up and mention something about your menstrual cycle, Eddie wouldn't act all grossed out. 
Maybe one day you stay over at his place and when you wake, you can already feel it. Just in your gut, before you pull the covers off, you just know. 
You lock yourself in the bathroom and try to clean up before he wakes up, but that man has like a radar when it comes to you. He wakes up as soon as you slam the bathroom door shut (though, maybe that had something to do with it) and is at your side (just that bathroom door still between you. 
'Baby? What's wrong?'
'Nothing!' you would shout from the bathroom. But Eddie isn't stupid.
'Baby?' He would just keep talking until you would properly talk to him. None of that "I'm fine" bullshit. The longer you would try to avoid it, the more ridiculous theories he would start to bring up. 
'All you're doing right now, is ensuring that I think an actual alien burst out of you.' 
'Fine I'm on my period!' you shout out, most likely for the entire trailer park to hear. 
'Now was that so hard?' 
You would have run to that bathroom in a state of panic, just wanting to clean the blood off, forgetting all your things. So, you ask Eddie to bring them over for you from your backpack. He had gone through your stuff a million times, just as you had gone through his, so he knew exactly where that little purse was where you kept your tampons and painkillers. A few seconds later he knocked softly on the bathroom door and handed you your things– little purse included as well as your spare change of clothes. You realise, however, that the shirt on top of the pile wasn't your shirt. It was his. He had especially pulled it out of the closet so you could wear it now.  
But you also realise that you only had one tampon left. Overall, not a big deal. You could just quickly head over to the drugstore.
That plan, however, became a bit more difficult when you stepped out of the bathroom. 
First, Eddie wasn't anywhere near the bathroom anymore. He was back in his room. You see him on the bed, cleaning up the bloodstain with a wet washcloth. 
'I'm so sorry.' The tears already stinging your eyes. Eddie looks up at you and rushes to you, pulling you into a hug. 
'Hey, hey, hey. Nothing to be sorry about. It happens. I can clean it up,' he makes you look at the bed, 'See? Almost gone.' It hadn't even been that big of a stain, but you still felt horrible. But Eddie wouldn't have any of that. He held you close, wiped off your tears and left kisses all over your face until you smiled. 
'It's really no big deal. Why don't you go sit on the couch while I finish this up? Then I can make us some breakfast?' Breakfast being something between choice A) Cereal or B) Fried eggs or C) Last night's leftovers. 
'Actually, I got to go to the drugstore.' You tell him, and Eddie immediately doesn't sound too happy with that. But not for the reasons you might have thought. 
'No way are you going out now. You got to rest.' 
'I can go to the store, Eddie.'
'I won't have it.' He's basically putting you on bed rest for the day, even if your cramps or other symptoms aren't showing up. He just wants to be sure you're comfortable. So, he heads out to the store himself after you tell him what it is you exactly need. You imagine he wouldn't be gone less than half an hour, but after two hours he still isn't back. A lot of reasons could have been the cause of it, so you try not to panic. Maybe there was a line at the drugstore, or he got hung up talking to someone? It was fine. The only problem is that you get hungry, and so, basically munch up the rest of the cereal that you found in the cupboard. 
Eddie comes through the door right as you finish the box. And the mystery of his long absence is immediately explained when you see the amount of things he brought with him. He immediately wants to show you the haul. 
'Right, so I got you your tampax,' he throws you the box. 
'Also went and got you some candy.' And with "some candy" he meant an entire bag full of snacks, all your favourites, of course. 
'And then I thought, we could just stay in for the day, so I went over to the video store and I tried to ask Robin what kind of movies you've borrowed because I wanted to pick something that you wouldn't hate, but she was being really difficult about it, so, unfortunately, in that battle, I lost the Reese's cups. BUT I got these,' he pulls out a stack of films that were most definitely in your customer history, at least a dozen times, 'And…really?' he laughs at your choices of favourite films. 
'They're classics!' 
'Whatever. Oh and I also got some more cereal because I knew you would eat them while I was away.' 
And you do spend the entire day cuddling, eating junk food and watching movies on the little tv. Eddie doesn't want to pry, but he does ask you questions just so he can know a bit more about how you're feeling and how he can help. Do you have any cravings? What can he do for you if your cramps ever get the worst of you? Would weed help with the pain? Do you want a lot of contact or do you need space? 
He would also be sure to stock up on everything you need at his trailer, just for emergencies. Maybe he would keep a tampon on him in his backpack at school. One day you would realise you had forgotten to repack your emergency stuff, but Eddie would just be like, I got you sweetheart, and hand you one. It would be at your locker, so someone would have seen it (Jason? Or some other jock) and, of course, they would make fun of him. Eddie would grab the opportunity immediately to reply back. 
'What do you need that for, Munson?'
'Well, usually I keep them around for your mom.' or something dumb like that. 
'You take that back, Freak!' 
'Fine! I won't provide your mother sanitary products!' He would yell it across the hallway as he made his way out of the building.
He would happily take the stigma over from you, making everyone uncomfortable by talking loudly, and proudly, over something that should have been normalised a long time ago, anyway.
Leave a review behind!
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taglist: @spiderrrling @hellfire-state-of-mind @theglitterymess @dorianelizabeth @theletterhart @niyahwhoreworld @chatnoirfangirl1624 @fopdoodle1624 @pastel-abyss-x
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burninlovebutler · 1 year
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1,000 Follower Party 🥹
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when i came back to tumblr, i never expected to have the experience i’ve had or make the connections & friend’s i’ve made - friends that i consider some of my best friends now.
i also didn’t expect the love i’ve received for my writing, it has been truly overwhelming (in a good way obv) - my numbers aren’t the highest but i am so grateful for my time here & the people i’ve met - thank you for all the laughs, cries, screams lol they make me so happy. you all have shown me a kindness that is such a bold reflection of elvis 🥺 it’s so beautiful & it just makes me wanna pay it forward
and thank you for accepting me & letting me take up some space here 💗
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**since i do get quite overwhelmed easily with asks (bc my adhd) i can’t guarantee that i’ll be able to do all of them or that they’ll be done quickly but i will try my best to do most!**
(this is long bc i’ve never done a follower celebration before so i’m making up for lost time lol prob nobody cares & this is prob lame but 😭 idk)
anyway send me an ask w one of these if u want ☺️💘
🍉 - About me / Commentary / Opinion
-tell me about yourself / introduce yourself to me if you haven’t already or ask me anything about myself that you’re curious about or just rant about anything!
-idk people come to me for advice often about random stuff ? could be anything you want or writing related! or ask my opinion on anything fandom related or not
👻 - Title Game
-send in a made up fic title and I'lI tell you what I'd write for it 💓
🤗 - Thoughts on you!
- self explanatory - if you wanna hear my thoughts about you💕
📝 - Quotes (specify which you’d prefer)
- random quotes from WIPs
- or fav quote from existing works
💿 - Playlists
2 options for this one:
Send me A or B & i’ll make/write a short 3-6 song playlist for you 💗
A - send me either austin or elvis + a fav trope / vibe / mini fic idea OR any of my fics regarding a certain scene or dynamic
B - send me either austin or elvis + your personal typa vibe/aesthetic/etc
(perhaps also include like what kinda music u listen to / any specific artist you like so i can include some if they overlap w my library ?)
ALSO - specify if you have spotify or not!
🦋 - Moodboards
similar to ^ playlists
send me A or B [+ the respective details] & i’ll make a 3-6 pic mini moodboard for you 💓
👀 - My fics
-ask me about any of my fics! send me one of my fics & talk/ask me anything about them like how i got the idea / ideas for certain plots or scenes or my writing process or my fav lines/plots/scenes or anything really idk
- or hints out of context 🤭 i love doing those
👽 - Head Cannons
-ask me about a specific fic of mine OR elvis/austin under a certain setting / trope / plot / pairing & i’ll share/make some head cannons for it
🌸 - Recommendations
-recommend some things for me! movies, shows, music, makeup!!/skincare!, tarot decks, books, anything & i’ll answer w some of my own 💓
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since my writing process is rather lengthy & intricate i don’t like to write blurbs or take requests etc. so unfortunately i can’t be like y’all that can write/post a million lil stories effortlessly ☹️ i so wish i could, i’m just not built like that 😭
HOWEVER it seems just wrong for me to not include some sort of fic component in my celebration since i am mainly a fic blog SO
i decided i wanted to do a lil contest ??? idk lol
🦋winner will receive a imagine/one shot with the plot request of their choosing🦋
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TO ENTER:
- make sure you are following me lol
- like & reblog this post
- comment 🍉🥀 on this post
- comment something that made you happy today 💓
- bonus entry: reblog this w proof that you took a drink of water when you read this 💗 (empty water bottle/cup or something!)
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that’s it!
💗whenever the winner is chosen i will convene with them directly on what sort of fic they want & i will write one for them (tho it may take some time lol) 💗
✨contest will be open for the next 2 weeks & the winner will be chosen at random around then! [04.07.23]✨
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tagging some of my fav people i’ve met through this blog/fandom 🥰
@cryingabtab @lllsaslll @presleysdarling @loving-elvis @samfangirls @bisexualwvtson @troubleinapinksuit @karamelcoveredolicity @lindszeppelin @succsessions @steph-speaks @luluthesandgoose @ab4eva @softsatnin @elvisfatass @homerow99 @michellelv @flwrs4aust @powerofelvis @elvisabutler @sournatromanoff @jelliedonut @sagesolsticewrites @fangirlwithasweettooth @thatbanditqueen @purejasmine @slowsweetlove @areacodefan @generoustreemystic @golden-kiwis
and so many more 😭 anyone whom i’ve inevitably missed due to my overly medicated rotting brain 😭
again i love you all so much 🥺 thank you for letting me be a part of this beautiful little family 🥺💗
-mel xx
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theprismaticvoid · 9 months
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(thoughts about my previous reblog bc it ended up being too long for tags and I was too shy to make this tangentially-related ramble a reply)
A big part of the issue with criticism of the Modern Backrooms, at least that I've seen, is that there's not often really direct criticism of what's wrong with the newer content beyond just saying "Trying to add more to the concept of the Backrooms makes it less scary" a million different times and ways (I've seen one post talking about a specific article about a sentient rubber duck that really sucked, but that was really it in terms of criticizing specific things about it). It gets to a point where it just feels very "NEW THING BAD" circlejerk-y forever and ever and ever.
I say this as someone who's not even a huge fan of the Backrooms, I've seen some of the found-footage videos and I have some vague ideas about levels and monsters and stuff through seeing people retweet fanart, and millions of posts about how the concept has been ruined.
The friend I reblogged it from made a good point in their tags about how the people complaining about how modern Backrooms sucks could 100% just make their own content that's more to their liking, but they'd rather complain that it's "not good anymore" in vague ways that both don't act as constructive criticism and don't produce better content directly.
The thing is like, if you hate EVERYTHING that's not the original “yellow room with the vague implication of a monster” concept, you can just go back and experience that? Nothing's stopping you from seeing the original 4chan post and the first few found-footage videos that kept strictly to the premise of the original - and if you want more, it quickly runs into the problem of "there's only so much you can do with a giant yellow room and only the vaguest insinuation that there might be a monster in there".
The whole concept of what made the original Backrooms scary, both never getting to see what (if anything) is actually there with you, and being stuck in an endlessly-repeating environment with nothing beyond moldy carpet and fluorescent lights for always and always and always, also makes it extremely difficult to put any interesting spin on without having to add something new.
There's only so many ways you can have a random person glitch into the backrooms, walk around for a while, run away from something, and then either die or glitch back into reality, before it becomes completely dull and uninteresting.
Another thing about the comparison to SCP is that, since a lot of people only came into the fandom after Containment Breach or another fangame, they aren't familiar with the very early history of SCP - while a lot of the early SCPs have some damn good horror, it wasn't ALWAYS like that. Tons and tons of very early SCP content was culled from the wiki for being terrible - self-insert OCs, things meant to pander to the artist's fetish, there was an honest to god "toilet that eats your butt if you sit on it" for a while (and not the Butt Ghost joke SCP, but an actual main-list one that was genuinely meant to be creepy/interesting, not funny).
SCP has some extremely good content - but only because it's had years upon years of bad articles either being entirely scrapped, or rewritten by a completely different author or the original author once they've had time to better hone their skills. And even then there are still some duds that are boring/uninteresting/terrible (Homestuck-obsessed Tumblr user alien satellite cannon that crytypes about how it's a horrible person, anyone? Or pretty much anything I've read that involves Gamers Against Weed/Are We Cool Yet)
The point I'm trying to make is, of course there's some bad content in the modern Backrooms fandom. It's still extremely new, it's popular with mostly kids and teens who are probably still learning how to write, and the concept as a whole is still trying to find out what it wants to be.
I'm just trying to say - if you love the concept of the Backrooms, try to be a positive influence over it instead of instantly going "THIS IS ALL GARBAGE AND CHILDREN RUINED THE CONCEPT THE MOMENT THEY TRIED TO MAKE IT ANYTHING BUT MOLDY CARPET AND YELLOW WALLPAPER, SO STOP HAVING FUN!!!".
Give polite constructive criticism, find things that work (or could work with a little tweaking) and point to them as examples of what you think the Backrooms should be, even write your own content if you think you can do better.
It's not like there's some sort of monolithic Backrooms Foundation that hands down the articles from on high and you never get to question them, suggest improvements, or add to them ever. It's just a loosely-connected web of fans trying to flex their creative muscles and have fun.
I don't know, I don't want to be all "modern internet culture bad", but with the state of things, I wonder if popular older creepypastas like Slenderman could've ever taken off in this kind of climate. I can't help but think that if something like that had started today we'd get millions of angry people on Reddit saying that Slenderman was only good when he was a completely-unexplained creepy guy who showed up in the background of photographs.
I can very easily see an alternate timeline where Marble Hornets was immediately written off as kiddy garbage that doesn't respect the lore and ruined Slenderman because he doesn't act right - "Why isn't he leaving organs in plastic bags? He's only supposed to show up as faceless on cameras and he looks like a normal person to anyone who sees him with their own eyes! WHY AREN'T YOU ADDRESSING HOW HE'S A GERMAN FAIRY???"
I don't really have a concrete resolution to this post or a point at the end of it, idk. Just my two cents on the issue.
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elveny · 1 year
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I posted 3,272 times in 2022
169 posts created (5%)
3,103 posts reblogged (95%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@sharkapologists
@cecilyacat
@okami-zero
@elveny
@barbex
I tagged 2,961 of my posts in 2022
Only 10% of my posts had no tags
#ffxiv - 681 posts
#art - 653 posts
#lol - 157 posts
#fic rec - 113 posts
#dragon age - 84 posts
#tumblr - 81 posts
#estinien varlineau - 78 posts
#mass effect - 66 posts
#tiktok - 64 posts
#writing - 63 posts
Longest Tag: 117 characters
#also the reason why ppl like david tennant and patrick stewart or ian mckellen have the charisma and presence they do
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Ethan Hawke on creativity:
"Most people don't think about poetry, right? They have a life to live, and they're not really that concerned - until their father dies, they go to a funeral, you lose a child. Somebody breaks your heart, they don't love you anymore. And all of a sudden, you're desperate for making sense out of this life, and 'Has anybody ever felt this bad before?'
Or the inverse! Something great. You meet somebody and your heart explodes. You love them so much you can't even see straight. You know, you're dizzy! 'Did anybody feel like this before? What is happening to me?'
And that's when art is not a luxury, it's actually sustenance."
47 notes - Posted June 20, 2022
#4
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Excuse me, I am still reeling from how perfectly @schoute captured my Adriene and Estinien, I love it so so so so much and cannot asddksaaskussdwedf!!!!😭😭😭😍😍😍
59 notes - Posted June 30, 2022
#3
Emet-Selch is canonically a character that used to be very close to the WoL (or rather their former incarnation). Someone that CANONICALLY complained but always came to help. Someone who cared so much he, over 12 millenia, tried to bring back millions of people.
Was he a villain in the end? Sure! But he TELLS you why. He tells you that he feels, loves, grieves. Even after he managed to convince himself that nobody around him is even "alive" and can thus be killed without remorse, DESPITE THAT, he wants to hope that there's another way.
That YOU, the WoL, as the reincarnation of someone he cared deeply for, can make the difference. He could've killed you so, so often. He doesn't. Because he *cares*, he wants you to understand, so he explains and works with you and shows you what happened and the why.
This is all told and shown in the game, btw, that's not fanon.
Emet-Selch is an excellent continuation of Hades - saying one thing and doing another. He cares for Azem and WoL, deeply. Does it excuse his actions? No. But it explains them. He doesn't kill because he wants to and because he relishes power. He kills to restore his WORLD.
If you were told you had to trample down thirteen ant hills to save the world, your family, your loved ones, everyone you know, to make those insignificant ants the people they used to be - you would, too.
82 notes - Posted May 26, 2022
#2
If the latest episode of Obi-Wan Kenobi shows anything then it’s the pure horror, terror and soul-ripping despair Darth Vader brings to the galaxy.
And I don’t mean the scene where he drags Obi-Wan into the fire, bc that’s, like… yeah sure, he’s petty and vengeful and so full of hatred and anger, but that’s personal. That’s him and Obi-Wan, of course he’s vengeful and cruel there.
But that scene before.
Where he walks through the village, killing people when he passes them for no reason other than… killing. Trying to get a reaction of the man he assumes is there. The father he rips through the window and chokes in the air, the child rushing to try and help his dad whose neck he snaps. The woman he drags face-down through the sand while she flails. Holy fuck. Imagine you’re living in the galaxy and one day, the Empire comes and takes over. And the Force-sensitive people they have are broken and cruel and they maim and threaten and are horrible enough. And then comes Darth Vader. And you just know that NOTHING is safe. Nothing will ever be safe again. You can be a loyalist and still be dead the next second just because… no because. For no reason. Nothing is safe.
85 notes - Posted June 3, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
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I can't get over how GOOD Andor is. They are not making "episodes", they are making a STORY and dividing this into episodes. And it's so, so good. The characterization is amazing, the Empire is really and truly BAD and fascist and horrible, and the rebellion is ... not heroic clean awesomeness. It's dirty and doing what needs to be done and it's not easy. Or always morally good. It's "oppression breeds rebellion" and using that. Holy shit.
And yes, I know the whole thing of "Disney is actually bad etc blabla" and YES, there is a problem, but we're operating within a system of capitalism and rising fascism, and I truly believe that the message of Andor is important.
106 notes - Posted November 8, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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taegularities · 1 year
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I don't think I've ever mentioned that I was on anon before, so it's totally okay. I just recently came across the specific ask saved in my bookmarks (because I cherish every author interaction with my whole heart), so that's what reminded me that I had even sent it.
It took me a while to build up the courage and actually interact with anything and anyone on here, and I remember going over things so many times to make sure that everything I'm saying makes sense and it's not too much. And look at me now, rambling in every single one of my reviews lmao.
But really, the important thing that I wanted to say is that I literally squeal out loud and get the biggest smile on my face when I see that you've reblogged one of my reviews or answered my asks. I am so glad that I made the decision to reach out because I love talking to you, both about your writing and not. Sorry that I've said it a million times now, but it is how I feel 💞💞💞
WAH YOU FOUND THE ASK. omg, it sounds 100% like you haha and i remember it, too! the day when everyone had this crazy as heck theory that he might have gotten a tattoo for her or whuteva 🙄
i absolutely get having to gather courage. i can absolutely assure you though that your reviews make sense; a lot of times you think of things that didn't even cross my mind. or you throw in theories that are spot on (hence my abundant use of "you're right" lmao), but i love love love your rambling so much, istg, we don't deserve you </3
and ivi, same, whenever i see that you've reblogged a chapter or sent an ask, i get so excited bc i enjoy reading through them all so much, i'm not even exaggerating 😭 so thank you for doing everything you do. and don't apologise, i must have thanked you for everything like a hundred and million times lmao so rambling frens unite <3
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threeandthirteen · 1 year
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Ooo ooo ooo I have a question!
What does the first date between you and Sir Nighteye look like? Is it planned or did it just happen? Need the deets about this ☺️
.👾
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I actually hate to admit how much thought I've in fact given our relationship. Which- Frankly- I blame on the fact it's one of the few selfhips I didn't default to childhood friends ok 😤 cw: selfship content
                                                          pls do not reblog
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no surprise here but...we meet because I cut his hair. And Mirai is so weirdly a perfectionist to his look that of course I do it right once and then I’m the only person allowed to cut his hair. So we meet, eh, roughly early/mid 20s. And like clockwork every four weeks I trim up his look and we’re fairly chummy (bc I’m just that way with clients). Goes on for probably....a year and a handful of months? Before he asks me out on a date. 
he had to make sure it was the “right” thing to do but after I kind of nudged and pushed him to pursue being All Might’s sidekick (bc he would not shut up about All Might) he takes it upon himself to ask me out promptly after the sidekick process comes up as a positive experience and Mirai rides that way of slight excited anxiousness to ask me out on a proper date.
we’d done things together before like walk with me after I would close in the salon or be friendly if we ran into each other out in public. But this is like the first official date date. Everything is planned. I don’t even have a say in it. Foods come up enough in casual conversation though that I’m not worried I’d dislike the place Mirai takes me. Which I don’t dislike the food is really good of course, he pays for everything, recites conversation like a textbook, acts in an very gentlemanly manner, dressed up very handsome in his suit and it is summed up as the “perfect” first date in which nothing goes wrong and it’s all immaculate from start to finish. And for the most part he’s about as ‘relaxed’ as someone that up tight can be. It genuinely is a really good date but Mirai’s mistake is taking me out in public in the first place.
his internal timeline tells him it’s time to take me home, wish me a good evening and maybe kiss my hand to end the successful first day. My internal timeline says I see something while we’re walking back that tells my brain we gotta go look at it bc it’s like, right there, so why not? This is when it diverts off to an Aires date.
after the “perfect” date we don’t end up back at my place like Mirai planned in his perfect timeline of the evening. Instead I impulse drag him into a very corny pop up shop that is just slathered, packed and crammed full of very unofficial merch of mostly oversea heroes + of course All Might merch that is so bootlegged it’s painful to look at but pretty funny. And I know how much he loves All Might and just the hero thing in general so I thought it’d be fun but like Mirai, he goes through all of their All Might things and begins listing off all the incorrect qualities the figures have and nitpicking all of the All Might merch until he’s in full blown tangent mode. Too late to realize he’s gone off on what is certainly kind of a...bitchy side track, Mirai gets a little deer in the headlights look of panic to which he profusely starts apologizing for bc come on it’s like a two cent bootleg merch store none of it is serious. And he’s got himself all worked up apologizing that he’s come off rudely and whatever else he can see being “unappealing” behavior on a first date. But I just- End up giggling at him. I’m not mad or bothered and he’s done it a million times before in front of me so I came into the pop up shop knowing he’d be all serious about it and I like that about him. 
Mirai tries to apologize again for “ruining” the date but I end up telling him it’s the most fun I’ve ever had and present him with one of the crumbiest knock off All Might toys either of us had ever seen and ask him what’s wrong with it. Just to get him going on his rant all over again but this time grinning while listening to him bc I actually do love it when he goes on his little rants. I score my points after the surprise tangent by probably getting a cheesy keychain he tells me isn’t totally inaccurate to All Might’s costume for the time period and I just tell him it’s a placeholder for my keys until he ends up as All Might’s sidekick and I can buy a Sir Nighteye keychain instead. He clams up at this point and it’s certain to say the date was very successful in both a perfectly planned way and a perfectly impulsive way. Oh and he 100% buys the ugliest All Might shirt in the world that has seven flaws he tells me about but wears it as a night shirt regularly. 
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gra-sonas · 2 years
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I deeply apologise for this, I honestly don’t have anyone else to talk to about this and you’re so nice and kind that I feel like I could do it with you. Please, ignore me if you want to, you don’t have to answer or post this. I’ve recently started writing fics (my first time doing it), and I’ve published 3 of them so far. But I cannot help but feel like they are bad, that I shouldn’t be writing them. I don’t get many "hits" and the ones that I get, don’t leave kudos or anything which makes me think that people hated it. They are "short" (the longest one has 4000 words) and I feel that that is not enough. I’m just having a hard time. I know that I shouldn’t care about if people like it, if they comment or leave kudos because I’m writing for me and all of that. But I really can’t help feeling like shit about it and comparing myself with other fic-writers out there. And every day I’m struggling with the idea of wanting to just delete everything. Maybe I just don’t have the mental state to deal with things like these and maybe I should just stop. Thank you for reading and I’m sorry again, you don’t have to answer this. Have a great day!
First of all, there's no need to apologize for anything, nonnie. *sends you a looooooooooooong virtual hug*
Secondly, I'm so sorry that you're feeling the way you do. Putting any kind of creativity out there is always nerve-wracking, especially when you're "new" to doing it. I can imagine how difficult this must be for you, especially bc you don't have anyone to talk to about it.
When I posted my first fic (well, technically not the very first, but the handful of things I wrote long before RNM don't really count imo) 3 years ago, I was dying inside. If it hadn't been for lovely fandom friends, I NEVER would've posted it.
As a non-native English speaker I always felt inadequate/not articulate enough to write in English, plus a million other things I thought my writing was lacking, so I never even tried (before RNM I hadn't written anything in over a decade). Until Malex came along and the urge to write was so overwhelming that I gave it a shot.
And man, I'm so happy that I did. But again, I only posted it bc I had friends who beta-read it for me, who encouraged me and told me it wasn't in fact crap. And lo and behold, I've written a couple more fics over time, and I feel more confident about it nowadays (still dying inside tho when I post something new, that will probably never change :P).
Something that's really hard is not comparing your own writing to that of other writers - especially those who get tons of kudos and comments. In that same regard, it's really hard not to compare the number of hits and kudos your fics are getting to the numbers other writers' writing generates.
Anyway, comparing ourselves to others, that way madness (and unhappiness) lies. Looking at other writers' writing as an inspiration, YES, comparing our own writing to that of others, NO. Easier said than done, I know. :/
Anyway, I think what could be really helpful to you, is joining one of RNM (I'm assuming that you're writing RNM fic, if not, please replace that with the fandom you're writing for) Discord servers. Many fandom writers gather there, chat about fics, bounce ideas around, organize writing sprints, offer beta-reading, and so on. Getting input from others is just so cool and reassuring.
Additional plus: when you post a new fic, there are already a couple of people who know about it and they are often willing to signal-boost a new fic with reblogs.
As for the length of your fics: 4K is amazing, but by far not a necessary word count to attract readers. Most of my fics are shorter, and while I'm certainly not the queen of Kudos/comments, people are kind enough to read my fics. So, really, shorter fics are absolutely okay.
I really hope you'll reconsider re deleting everything. It would be a loss - for the fandom, but also for yourself. You put a lot of work into writing these stories, be kind to yourself and just take the [current] lack of "interaction" for what it is: you are new to this, and most people probably just haven't realized that there's a new writer in town. (Also, if you're writing RNM fic... fandom is still in total hibernation mode, I really hope that changes when S4 starts airing)
Sending you lots of love and writerly encouragement, nonnie. Please keep writing. Please keep putting yourself out there. And most importantly: find "your people", a "cheerleading squad" (and if it's just a squad of one person, squad is squad!) that has your back.
YOU CAN DO IT, I BELIEVE IN YOU! ❤️
P.S.: Funny enough but I'm not a member of any of the open RNM Discord servers, so, if anyone knows of a server or even runs one, please drop a link in the comments or send me a DM and I'll add a link to this post, thanks! 🙌
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asettledsky · 2 years
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Hello, I've been a follower since I read your quodo fics and I just wanna say that I love your takes on morals vs. fiction. I got into beetle babes bc of you and I've never understood the war. kids like to imagine dating characters, and I know when I was young I wanted to kiss gerard way on the mouth despite him being 20+ years older than me. I guess I just want to know your opinion on why this supposed moral crusade is happening if you have an a take. If not, I love your writing and I hope you keep at it thanks!
I desperately wish I could give a concise, educated answer to this question. But I just don't have that skillset and I've only flitted into the research part of this social/cultural phenomenon. So I don't have anything solid at my fingertips to present.
I feel like kids today have grown up with the internet parenting them a lot like how we grew up with TV parenting us.
And so when they branch out into the internet as a whole and find things that are not completely wholesome/kid friendly....
The difference is that when we saw adult TV that stressed us out as kids we didn't have anyone to scream at about it. Whereas the internet is made of people, so there are a lot of people they can scream at.
That's just the foundation of the problem though.
I'm honestly not sure where the cry for censorship came from though?
The best theory I've heard is that they've got a desire to protect, make the world a better place, etc. But the only model they have to go on is Conservative America. So their idea of protecting people from the 'bad ideas' is to silence them in the same way. Banning books, making mentioning the things illegal, etc.
This is assuming that, for the most part, the anti... 'movement' is rooted in good intention.
The problem is that they're stupid. They weren’t around for the times where exactly what they say they want already happened. The incidences that spawned the creation of AO3 to begin with.
Additionally they haven't bothered to think through all the implications. Who do they think would regulate this, and how? What's to stop the people regulating it from going after them and their brand of 'wrongthink' after they're done with us?
But I feel like maybe I'm attributing way more to this than it warrants.
Most of my interactions with antis suggest that it's just a stupid shipping war thing. The kind of ships they rail against are ones that are generally based in taboo, sure. But the ones they like are usually in direct opposition to the ones they're complaining about. And in the example of Beetlebabes, the opposing ship is Beetlejuice/The Maitlands or selfshippers. Both of which are equally problematic in different ways, so antibeetlebabes who ship either of those are just hypocrits.
Someone in one of the posts I've reblogged said something like 'it's not that they're opposed to seeing explicit stuff. They just don't want to see the stuff they don't like.' And that seems very true.
There are a million other things that I could point out as potential factors, I'm sure. As with any cultural shift, it's brought about by a bunch of tiny factors instead of a couple big ones.
Maybe I'll be compelled to make a full write up of everything I think led to antis being a thing one of these days.
But for now I'll just leave this here.
Thanks for the ask! Glad you like my writing
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adoralinefilms · 3 years
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HOW THE EVANS WOULD REACT TO YOU BEING PREGNANT
(all the characters that are dead are alive in this bc ghost sperm? i don’t think so. i mean look how micheal ended up.)
WARNINGS: pregnancy? and not proof read
TATE LANGDON
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he would be worried at first
i mean you’re both still teenagers and have a lot going on
but he knew you both would make it work and would support you if you deicided to keep the baby or not
he would be super protective of you and your child, barely letting you make food for yourself
he’d say he would want a boy but also secretively hoped for having a little baby princess
he would help you in any way you’d need and you being pregnant would show a whole new side of him that you never thought you would ever see
his darkness and troubles would all go away as soon as you had your baby, knowing that that child was the light
KIT WALKER
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(ok so i hate to be that person but in this, Kit doesn’t have Thomas or Julia)
Kit and you have been married for a year and deicided it was time to bring a new addition to your family
You were trying for about two months when you finally got pregnant
You found out when Kit was at work and knew he’d be over the moon to have a baby, your guys baby
You deicided to go out to the store and buy a little onesie to tell Kit, your husband, the good news
It was after you put dinner out and Kit was home that you brought a small yellow box out and gave it to him
Kit was a bit confused but opened it to see the small piece of clothing. He just looked up at you, both of you smiling and went to hug you
That was probably the best and biggest hug he ever gave you
“I’m going to be a father!”
KYLE SPENCER
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Tbh Kyle was a bit worried when you told him, you both were
You both were in college and were dating for about two years before you became pregnant
It was a total suprise to you because you both were super careful but yet here you were
Kyle told you he would support you in whatever decision you deicided to make and would be there for you, and he was
If you deicided to keep the baby, Kyle would end up getting another job to support your family to rent an apartment because a baby in a frat house, i don’t think so
He would be even more gentle with you and treat you with anything your heart’s desires
You want Mcdonald’s at 3am? Kyle’s on it.
A massage? Kyle will give it to you
Overall going to be an amazing dad
JIMMY DARLING
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When you told Jimmy you were expecting, his first reaction was to swope down to your belly and greet his little one
Jimmy never thought he would ever have kids, he thought no one would ever want to be with him because he was a so on called “freak”
But then you showed up and was never bothered by his hands, and quickly after you both were an item
Jimmy was super afraid his child would end up having his hands or something else, he didn’t want to put that on his child - knowing how people treat “freaks”
You would assure him that even if your child had it, you would both still love them and they would still be a good and kind person
And at the end of the day that’s all that really matters
Jimmy would always kiss your cheek and then your stomach before he got up in the morning
He probably wouldn’t leave your side honestly
10/10 good guy and good dad
JAMES MARCH
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plssss i love this gif
You got pregnant around the time James just opened the Hotel Cortez
James and you were married for three years before getting pregnant and you honestly never even talked about having kids
James was a very busy man. Murdering people
His soft side ever rarely came out and it was always to you only, how would he would react?
You were definitely worried telling him, would he shut you out and leave you to deal with this all on your own? You hoped not, you knew he loved you - in his own sort of way
You told him during dinner and his eyes sorta widened for a moment and was silent
“James, are you okay?”
“I’m going to be a father?”
“Yes, yes you are.”
He grabbed your hand and gave it a squeeze. Showing you he’s ready for everything to change (in a good way of course)
He would definitely spoil you even more now that you were pregnant
You would have thousands of maternity dresses and millions of baby clothes
I definitely believe he has a breeding kink lmao
He would also insist your baby was a girl. Like no doubt in mind.
Spoiler alert, he was right
KAI ANDERSON
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Kai definitely discussed having you have his messiah baby
You always brushed it off saying “later”
Later finally came and here you were pregnant
You knew you would have to eventually tell Kai and you knew his reaction was going to be 50/50
He was a very planned person and if something just came out of the blue, he could definitely overreact to say the least
You end up telling Kai during one of his pinky meeting thingys that I can’t remember the name of
His reaction - like you thought - was very mixed
He just kinda like nodded and got up
But what did suprise you is that he gave you a hug
Kai was even more protective of you and now his child
He wouldn’t let you anywhere near one of his “missions”
Not the most helpful during pregnancy but he did show he cared
He would always have his hand on your stomach and would always help you if you couldn’t do anything like you used to
Definitely wanted a boy, you ended up having to tell him that there’s a 50% chance it could be a girl
RORY MONAHAN
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Rory would probably be stoked
I mean you pregnant? he’d love every 9 months of it
He was there when you found out
Definitely became even more energetic than he already is when he saw the two blue lines on the test
He posts about it all over his social media, the public is very excited for baby Monahan
You secretly hoping the child has his red hair
Loves to see your bump grow each week, taking a shit load of photos
You both are very excited to be adding an addition to the family
And it won’t be the last
Rory is planning on having three kids with you, no doubt in mind
Best future father there is
AN: WOW THIS TOOK LIKE A DAY IN A HALF TO DO SO PLS DONT LET THIS FLOP!!!
comments, likes, and reblogs are always greatly appreciated <3
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isa-ghost · 2 years
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How do you hold onto hope that anything will be done with Anti or any of Sean's Egos? I fell out of love for JSE and his content about three years ago due to.. I guess just growing up? But I used to check back in from time to time because he used to promise that "Big Thing's" we're coming for his Egos. (Mind you this was before the pandemic took full effect so there wasn't that as an excuse.) I just recently checked his channel and saw he has taken a step back (Good for him and his mental health if he needs that!) from making content. Did he burn out? Is he ever going to do anything with the Ego's? I don't even know why I care at this point? I guess I just want logical answers and you are the smartest JSE fan I know? Anywho. Sorry for the rant. I'll get out of your asks. 🌶
Oookay unpacking this ask time.
Anon thanks in advance for sending this because as feisty as I felt at first, it helped me get out a lot of things I've wanted to say in this regard for a Long Long Time so, yeah. Thank you.
1. Personally I don't like the term "grew up" in reference to CCs or much of anything tbh, because you're rarely too old to enjoy the things you love. But I get what you mean regardless. Just wanted to plop out my take on that topic in general. Never think you're too old to enjoy something harmless though. :)
2. I've been shaky on hope lately, to be honest. He's not been doing a ton of videos in general lately, minus some strays and the Deltarune Chapter 2 series (I genuinely didnt expect him to play it bc he hadnt played another recently released big game I wanted to see him play but he did, and I'm super grateful bc it was killing me lowkey). Which obviously the decision not to make a ton of content at the moment is okay. He's very burnt out, he's been having severe health issues both physically and on/off mentally. The lack of content and low energy he's had lately is just disheartening if that's the right word idk. BUT!! We DO have a MASSIVE Thankmas stream coming in December to look forward to!
I miss him and some days I get kinda,, idk, bitter? About the radio silence. But unlike a lot of people that have been in and out of the JSE Community between 2018 to now, I respect his health and the fact that he's a whole ass human being and has a life and other things he is more than free to do instead whenever the fuck he wants. TLDR I think have better critical thinking skills than some people on here and Twitter lmao. And the last few years have been shit, both in the world and- at least on here -in the community (dare I mention the t*ablogs). Though lately the community is quiet and very very peaceful and enjoyable again. At least in my corner here.
The thing is, I'm not and was never here ONLY for egos. I love Sean and everything about him to bits. He made one of the worst few years I had in the 2010s infinitely more bearable and gave me an explosive amount of inspiration for creativity that I'd not really experienced before. And friends I'll never let go of.
I miss ego content. I want it to keep going. I'm extremely sad it might not continue. But as an artist, I know why he was promising big things once upon a time. When you're a creator and you have a story like this, you want to flesh it out. The motivation and muse is high. People are excited and you want to deliver. The difference with Sean is that he wanted it to be as high in quality as he could push for after all our excitement and incessant thirst for more. And his plans involved a budget and more than just himself and none of it was his main focus. It was a fun side project.
HOWEVER, big projects like this get interrupted by life, smaller projects, distractions and other things. Sean got SLAMMED by all of the above non-stop these last few years and then hit a bad burnout. I think that through it all, he hit that dreaded wall some artists with big, long term plans like the egos story hit and lost motivation. It got overhyped. Pressure got too crushing. Any plans he made to FINALLY continue the ego storyline got murdered by Covid more than once (which.. personally the term "excuse" sounds kinda shitty in reference to that imo but I digress). Making promises only to have outside variables beyond his control break them was killing him, so he just stopped promising. And people who have no respect or patience got annoying and some got straight up inexcusably vulgar, immature and hateful before dramatically fleeing the community in a tantrum like he'd personally come to their house and betrayed them. It was infuriating to watch go down.
But no matter how much it might hurt or be disappointing to see it die out, I'm here for Sean and his journey no matter where it takes him. I'm not sitting here being a stubborn beacon of anything. And I also recognize and (no matter how reluctantly) respect that we aren't OWED ego content. Never were. It was not an obligation no matter how many promises he made or how much hype he stirred up. And to be fair? We drove the hype a million miles further than he EVER did and we can't blame him for that. I hate the people who do. I'm grateful for the ego content we got and I'll cry if we ever get more. But if it's done, it's done and we just have to accept it. I, as sad as I am to, accept it. And we can always make our own.
And finally- thanks for the compliment. Idk if I'd say I'm the SMARTEST but that means a lot either way. :')
I hope this gave some answers even though it came out more of a vent/rant and PSA??
Obviously any JSE followers and mutuals please feel free to reblog this. But don't start any fights, not that I really expect there to be any?
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thewhitejournal · 4 years
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kind words .
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Aaron Hotchner x Female!Reader oneshot
request: Hi, I was wondering if you could write an Aaron Hotch x shy reader where Hotch is always careful and gentle around the reader, but one day he yells at her in the middle of talking (maybe she messed up on the case) and she immediately shuts up and won't look at him bc it scared her so bad? If that makes sense.
alright @lovely-lady-lumps , this one is for you! i really hope that you like it and that it lives up to your expectations.
like and reblog if you liked it! :)
content warnings: angst, cursing, talk of murder/crime/violence
The team stood around in the large and finely decorated dining room of the Peterson’s home. They were waiting on a call from the unsub, as it was in his M.O. to do so. The daughter, Kelly, of James and Miranda, had been kidnapped. She was only seventeen, and as with most cases involving kidnapped children, time is of the essence.
Emily and JJ were comforting the parents in the nearby living room; they were both too distraught to pick up the phone when the unsub called. You were the unsub’s type, a younger, innocent-sounding girl. As the new agent trainee of the BAU, there were a lot of learning experiences for you to have. This was one of them. Hotch had so much faith in you that you could handle this case, even though it was one of the more emotional ones.
It would be a lie to try and say Aaron Hotchner didn't make a lasting first impression on you the first day you met him. You had to be interviewed by him to join the BAU. It was one of the most nerve-wracking days of your life
You took a shaky breath as you stepped out of the elevator, walking into the room you would soon learn to be was called the bullpen, where all the other agents sat. You could feel every pair of eyes in the room on you, piercing through your skin like needles. You moved your feet with care up the stairs so as to not trip, like it was your first time walking up a set of them.
Agent Aaron Hotchner’s office was only a couple paces away now. Sure, you've had interviews before, but this one was different. This interview would decide the fate of your career for the rest of your life. Not to mention you'd heard plenty about the man conducting it; he was stern, strict, not to be messed with. He was a fearless leader and wouldn't take anyone’s shit. You'd even heard once that a bullet was fired right past his head at gunpoint and he didn't even flinch. Your anxiety and nerves were riding higher than ever.
Your knuckles rapped softly on the wooden door. ”Come in.”, you heard his voice sound from inside. Your breath shook as you exhaled and your shaky hand turned the knob, pushing the door open into his office. It was minimally decorated, and that's an overstatement. He had only a few personal items on his desk; pictures of him and what you assumed to be his son. He had a huge smile on his face, holding the child in his arms. The boy wore a soccer jersey and a smile to rival his father’s.
Agent Hotchner stood to greet you. Immediately you were intimidated by his height and overall presence. His hand was huge compared to yours, and warm in a comforting way. He gave you a small smile while shaking your hand, which made you feel a little better. ”Please, have a seat.” He said, gesturing to one of the leather armchairs that sat in front of his desk. You did as you were told.
The rest of the interview went smoothly, other than of course your occasional slip-up and stutter. But Hotch, which he said you could call him, always comforted you and spoke in a low, soft, gentle tone. This was the last thing you expected from a man like him.
Ever since then, he's always been so kind and helpful to you. How could you not fall for a man like that? Oh did you fall, hard and fast. The whole team certainly knew, but you weren't sure he did. They are all profilers after all. Prentiss, Garcia and JJ would lovingly tease you about him and always asked if either of you had made a move yet.
The answer was always ’no’; he was your superior in many ways, and you weren't even on the team officially. Reid and Morgan acted like a mix between older brothers and guys that still wanted you but knew Hotch had your heart, so they didn't dare overstep any boundaries. Rossi of course was like your father, advising you to be careful but that he would certainly make sure Aaron would never be found again if he hurt you. You knew it was all jokingly...hopefully.
Aaron stood over you, along with Rossi, Morgan, and Reid in the room. You let out a small, shaky breath as you waited for the phone call that should be coming any minute. You felt Aaron’s hand rest softly on your shoulder. He didn't say anything, but the gesture meant a million words. ”You can do this, (Y/N). I'm right here.” You could almost hear him whispering it into your ear.
The phone rang. The room was silent; all eyes were on you. A shaky breath escaped your lips, and you turned to look up at Aaron. His light brown eyes searched your face, dark brows furrowed as he tried to read your mind. With his job, it was almost entirely possible. He gave you a small nod; you took that as a sign to pick up the phone. You gathered as much courage as you could and pressed the button to answer it.
”Mmm...Miranda, my compliments to the chef. She takes right after you, curves in all the right places except even juicer...” The distorted voice filled the room. You cleared your throat.
”This is Agent (Y/N) (Y/L/N) with the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI. Can Kelly come home, please?” You tried to sound as innocent as possible. Aaron’s hand squeezed your shoulder reassuringly, then his hand fell to his side. You had to speak in a way that would praise the unsub, say what he wanted to hear. He was a dominant sexual sadist; pleasing the unsub was the only way to get Kelly back to her family.
”And how old are you, young lady?” You cringed at the way he said it, but you kept your composure.
”25, sir.” He groaned at this.
”Sounds like a fair trade to me. Tell me (Y/N), what are you wearing?” Unbeknownst to you, Aaron was fuming. He hated hearing someone talk to you like that. He wanted so badly to intervene, tell the unsub to shut the hell up. But the case depended on this ruse.
”A white blouse. Your turn.” You yourself were starting to get angry. All you wanted was to help get this family back together, but it felt like you weren't getting anywhere.
”Nothing but a smile, darling.”
”Kelly’s mom and dad really miss her. Can she come home?” The innocent tone returned to your voice. A deep and distorted chuckle came from the other end of the line.
”No, no. I think I’ll keep her a little while longer. You should come and join us though. You sound like you'd be a lot of fun.”
Your blood was boiling, anger was clouding your mind. Tears were pushing against your water line, a few making it down your cheeks. You were biting your lip so hard you thought it might bleed. Word vomit was bubbling up inside you, and as bad as you wanted to control it, it all came spilling out.
”How could you do this to such a loving family, you sick fucking psychopath? What the hell is wrong with you, you freak? Can't you see the pain you've caused this family?” Even more tears spilled onto your face, and your fingernails dug into the palms of your hand, knuckles so white they envied the walls. The unsub scoffed from the other end, there was a scream heard, and then silence as the line went dead. Reid and Morgan looked at you with widened eyes. Rossi looked almost proud. You could see Hotch shaking his head in your peripheral vision, pinching the bridge of his nose. Your stomach sank. You knew you’d messed up, and it hurt you to know you probably let Hotch down. That was the last thing you ever wanted to do.
Garcia called Morgan’s phone, and he answered it quickly. “Hey, baby girl. Tell us you got something.” He immediately put her on speaker.
“I traced the call. I’m sending everyone the location.”
“Thanks, baby.” Morgan hung up the phone and shared a look with everyone in the room, including you. You saw Hotch motion them on out of the corner of your eye, but Morgan held his hand up at Hotch for some reason. You felt Hotch’s hand clasp your shoulder, and you looked up at him. His face was stern and hard like stone.
“I’m going to talk to you when we get back.” He said in a harsh tone, with a voice full of anger. You watched him hurry off out the door and heard the SUV’s sirens turn on and they all pulled away. You hadn’t even noticed Morgan didn’t follow the rest of the team out the door, not until he pulled a chair out from the table and flipped it to where his chest met the back of the chair. His arms folded over each other, resting on the chair. He sighed. You turned your head to look at him; with this motion, tears you didn’t even know had formed fell on to your cheeks.
“Morgan, I-“, your voice broke. You loved Aaron, all the stolen looks and little kind gestures. You didn’t care if it was inappropriate to say so, it was the truth. One thing you never wanted to do was disappoint him, but it seems you’ve done just that.
“(Y/L/N), it’s okay. Not everyone on this team is perfect, including Hotch. I know you’re not even on the team yet, but there’s no way he’s gonna let you go. Do you know why?” You didn’t answer; you figured he was going to tell you why anyway.
“Because you’re one of the most talented little profilers I’ve ever met.”, he continued. “You’re kind and smart and you’re damn good at this job. We’ve all made mistakes, but that doesn’t mean we’re not good at what we do. Garcia found the location of the call, they will find her. It’ll be okay, (Y/N).”
You sighed, wiping the tears from your cheeks. You wanted to believe that, but it wasn’t a guarantee. Morgan got up and motioned you to do the same. He pulled you into his strong arms, and it took every ounce of energy you had not to break down and start sobbing into his t-shirt. Your arms wrapped around his back and you squeezed his body.
“Thank you, Derek.” You muttered. He didn’t respond; his lips placed a quick kiss to the top of your head. He gave you a ride back to the police station, where the team would eventually end up. The family followed suit.
The unsub was caught and arrested. You heard a commotion coming from outside; it was the press, trying to get pictures and interviews from the team, per the usual. You looked up to see Aaron walking through the door with the rest of the team, with the unsub in handcuffs, pushing him towards a holding cell. The unsub looked over at you, did a once over of your body, and winked at you. Aaron noticed this and shoved him along a little more forcefully. The action made your heart flutter a little.
JJ went over to the family and told them their daughter was in the hospital and that she was going to be okay. They cried and hugged and thanked her. Hotch came back from disposing of the unsub to the local police, along with a couple of members of the team. “Great work guys. Wheels up in thirty.”, he told them. His eyes met yours, and he gestured with his head to one of the empty detective’s offices. You got up and followed him, watching your feet the whole way. Even when you went into the room and shut the door behind you, everything in the office seemed a lot more interesting than looking at Aaron. The blinds were shut and the room was dark, save for a desk lamp.
“(Y/L/N), the way you handled that phone call was unacceptable. The entire case could’ve been compromised and that girl could’ve died! What the hell were you thinking? I told you to stick to a script, tell the unsub what he wanted to hear. Was that not clear enough for you?” His voice rang out through the empty office, bouncing off the walls and coming back to hit you in the chest. You wouldn’t look at him. Your throat hurt, and tears fell on to your cheeks. You had one arm across your chest and the other propped up on it, fist under your chin.
“(Y/N), say something.” His tone seemed a bit softer now. His hand reached out to rest on your arm, but you shrugged him off. He sighed. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I can’t be mad at you for getting emotional over this case, and this was a win for us anyway.” Your eyes finally met his.
His eyes were the soft, light brown that you loved. His lips were pressed into a thin line, apologetically you had to assume. You wanted to kiss him, but you knew that would be an overstep to your boundaries as a new agent trainee. His eyes flickered around your face, trying to read your emotions.
“Are you okay?” You nodded. He nodded back, in understanding. The tension in the air was so thick; you could hear your pulse in your ears and butterflies fought each other in your stomach. You were still looking at him, taking in every little detail of his face. He muttered for you to come here. You hesitated at first but stepped towards him. He pulled you into a hug, and you rested your head on his chest, taking in the moment along with a deep breath. He smelled almost like vanilla and something else you couldn’t quite put your finger on. His heart was pounding in his chest, which quite surprised you. You’d think he would be calm.
You pulled away from his chest, still in his arms. You could swear his eyes looked darker. Maybe it was his intoxicating smell or the fact that the room was spinning already, but you could’ve sworn he leaned into you. You copied his motion, lips only centimeters apart now. Blood rushed to your cheeks, making them feel hot. He closed the gap, kissing you gently. He pulled your body closer to his; you were now chest to chest. Your arms snaked up his chest and around his neck, pulling him closer to you.
The kiss deepened, and you heard him sigh; not one of annoyance, but one of happiness. He slowly pulled back from you, but didn’t meet your eyes. “(Y/N), I’m sorry, that was...unprofessional of me and-“ You silenced him by placing your lips on his again for a brief moment.
“I’ve wanted you to do that for a long time.” You both smiled at each other, lips meeting again. The team was probably getting impatient, but neither of you cared. Everyone won tonight.
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bluebuckstallion · 3 years
Text
the sun will rise again - mlp fic
part two this is part one! part two and so on will be updated/reblogged when they are out! contents: aj and big mac are like. 13 and 15. big mac realizes she is a trans woman, and is guided by applejack, but there is much more to it than just that lol. its also a little hard for her. sappy, feel-good, tough internal conflict but overall happy fic. paragraph one is previewed here, the rest is below the cut! (note: i am aware my blog makes posts a little hard to read bc of a glitch, i am trying to fix it at the moment, i apologize D: i rec reading it on tumblr mobile or highlighting the words as you read, im sorry!)
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Big Mac shuffled his hooves awkwardly. Racing thoughts fought furiously, cluttering his hurting head, and he put a weary hoof against his temple in an attempt to clear the fog. No avail. It was as strong as ever, the rushing current of rip tide sweeping him in the more he struggled. He insisted he'd never felt this way before, trying violently to shake away the thought, it made him shudder. But deep down somewhere he knew, he couldn't hide this strong feeling he'd become so familiar with. It felt like home, but he was trapped inside with the windows boarded and the floorboards were so old they were making him fall through with every step, and there were thick dusty cobwebs everywhere he tried to rest his burdened hooves. He couldn't leave. Outside of his overflowing head, there was a faint knocking at his door, though he had tuned it out completely. His thoughts whirled, and everything was making *so* much noise, the ceiling fan, the electricity in the walls, the birds outside, even the trees being rustled by the evening wind. Everything was so loud, and so muffled and far away, so close and inside his ears, they twitched eagerly trying to bat the harsh noise away, all collected into one horrid ear-piercing amalgamation of staticy sound. His fur was disturbed by his blankets, and his teeth felt uncomfortable as they grit desperately in an attempt to relax, his eyes were dry despite how much and how hard he was blinking, it felt like even the smallest thing would throw him overboard in this thundering storm of unsettlement. -
The knocking got louder. "Big Mac!" The sound was lost in the chaos of it all, but it prevailed. "Big Mac!" There it was again. It didn't quite reach him yet, though. But my, was it there. Incessant. Pounding. Oh, the headache of it all. Just adding to the pile. It hesitated. "Big Mac." The gentle coo reached him, piercing through the overwhelmingly loud silence in the air, he felt this odd choking sensation in his throat when he registered the voice, so familiar and so loving. But would it continue to be after this? The thought scared him. Fear struck his spine in striking bolts, waves of dread sulked, creeping in and making their nest in his aching body. He was so tired of coming back to this again and again, but it plagued his mind like a cold. He realized his internal monologue had been ongoing - even though it hadn't really spoke - but alas he had been lost in his own downward spiral of paranoia again, and had forgotten to respond. "Yu- uh- eeyup?" he stuttered out like he was drowning, he felt and sounded like a silly foal learning to walk for the first time again. He pushed his hoof lightly against his throat, shocked at his own lack of voice. Usually he was calm and confident, knowing what he wanted to say, despite how little it ever was. However he feared this would give way to his sister finding out, that she would know something was awry with him. "Can I, uh, come in?" the voice questioned. He nodded, then processed he had forgotten to use his words, and managed a sheepish "Yup." "Uh, okay." She responded equally as softly, her voice leaving a tinge of confusion to be interpreted. Applejack trotted in, her hooves making the wood beneath her creak as the old house settled. She nudged the door shut behind her nonchalantly with her back hoof, not taking her gaze off of what was ahead of her. She made a gesture towards Big Mac's bed and tilted her head, knowing he was a horse of few words, moreso when he got this way. And goodness, how he could manage to get into his own head. Applejack understood the feeling, more than he was letting on. Applejack got up and sat down awkwardly, glancing at her hooves as they, too, dragged over one another slowly, she never did like eye contact. Big Mac was more fidgety - he was straight-up restless, as he clapped his hooves together ceaselessly, clicking them atop one another with a hard "Clink." The silence was substantial, but it wasn't like it bothered them, usually. It drove Big Mac up the wall, he was sweating buckets thinking about what Applejack could possibly say. *Did she find out? Does she know? Does she hate me? She hates you. She knows and she hates you. She'll never forgive you. She'll never see you the same-* his thoughts were cut off abruptly. "So, big brother," she chuckled stiffly, "what's on your mind?" Blunt and to the point. She looked upward briefly, catching a glimpse of his face, caught in an uncomfortable twist as his mouth hung downward and his eyes sunk, staring blankly ahead. Neither of them looked at the other, but this again, was not unusual. When she said 'brother,' the word stung like a mosquito bite. It was barely there, but just enough to irritate him. And it grew bigger the more he picked away at it and gave it the time of day. Maybe if he just ignored it it'd heal itself, he thought. Her words in general hung high above his head, and he had forgotten to respond with the way he was over-analyzing it a million different ways inside. What was on his mind, besides this scary, burning question gnawing him alive? He gave a lackluster response to divert any inkling of anxiety, "Oh, nothing," and with that he kicked his back hooves loosely up, and they swung back down heavily in the empty air. What else could he say? The silence sat for a couple of seconds. Too long for Applejack's liking, she was growing a bit impatient with his lack of answers. She looked up and moved her head upward in tune with her eyes, rolling her head from one shoulder to the other as her lips pouted and she let out a quick exhale. She looked down at her teetering hooves again. "Nothing..." she repeated, tapping her hooves together about three times, give or take, she wasn't paying attention. "Oookay.." she said in a quiet tone, and the cadence in her voice had shifted after this minute or two of waiting. She scratched the back of her ear. "Well, if you won't tell me, I'll figure it out myself." She looked up and beamed what was supposed to be a reassuring smile, which came out rather awkward. It fell just as awkwardly. She wasn't the best at conveying emotion, but neither was Big Mac. They had that in common. "Ok, I'll spit it out, rapid-fire," she said funnily, holding her hooves up and moving one in front of the other and back again in tune with the quirky enunciation of the last word. If nothing else, she was making an attempt to lift his low spirit. She inhaled, "Is it about me? About Ma or Pa? *Granny?* Baby Bloom?" and with that she exhaled overexaggeratedly. It took a second, but the half-smile she had faded from her face as he stood there saying nothing, simply folding one hoof over his other arm, rubbing it rigidly and looking away, and what she hoped was not true, had hit her. It was about himself. "Oh.. brother," she whispered to him, "You can tell me anything," she reached her hoof up toward him, pulling it back when it was halfway there as she winced at his lack of response, not even a lean-in to her gesture, but she continued anyway. She gingerly put her hoof on his shoulder. Becoming more confident with her comforting, she rubbed his back gently. "So it's about you?" He took a second, and nodded somberly. "Hey, that's alright. Tell me what's on your mind for real now, when you're ready. If, you're ready." AJ's voice, he found, was quite calming. Big Mac shot a glance at her timidly, then down at her hooves, and back up at her, but he couldn't look too long in order to stop the waterworks from coming. He gulped dryly and looked at the wall, and after the ceiling. He watched the fan dodder decrepitly, but so sure of itself, it's purpose, rotating on it's axis, again, and again, and again. He wished he could be so sure of himself, he wasn't sure if he ever could be, though. And here, he found himself envying the rotating of a ceiling fan. What an interesting moment, he thought sarcastically to himself. Was this really where he was at? He zoned out briefly, watching the blades go in circles, and then snapped himself back to reality with a hard blink, a downward motion of his head, and a squeezing of his hooves. "I..." he started softly and then trailed off. He sighed in dejection. "I- Well, I am me. But... I'm not. I look in the mirror, and it's not me looking back. I know that sounds... stupid, but it's not me. It's not like it isn't who I am, it's just not me. And I, don't know why. I mean I think I do, but I don't - sometimes-" He took a second to collect himself and inhaled, exhaling sharply after, he put his hoof firmly against his chest, as if almost trying to coax the words out. "I'm me, but I'm not. I'm not who I'm meant to be, I, I was born wrong. My body is wrong," he shook his head, like trying to shake the bad thoughts away. "It's not mine. I was born with something wrong about me, outside, inside I'm me, but outside I'm not. But - I'm not bad or anything, it's just that there was something different. And, you know that funny feeling of those butterflies in your tummy when someone you like says your name? I'll get that, but I won't recognize my name as mine, but I do get that feeling when...ponies accidentally call me what they call fillies, even though they don't mean to and fix 'emselves right after, and they act like it's so wrong, but I still get that funny feeling of, goodness. It catches me off guard in the best way... my heart skips a beat. And I know I'm s'posed to like girls, but there was something wrong about me lovin' 'em... it feels like. I feel real guilty-like when I start getting all lovey about one. It feels like I'm not allowed, like there's somethin'.."  he teared up, "different. About me." He emphasized the last word quite significantly. He began to finish, not wordvomitting as much as he was before, instead saying it slowly, as if he was really trying hard to get his thoughts out. "I- I think, I think if I were born in the right body I'd be happier, but I don't want to change me, I just...want to change how people *see me."* Applejack raised her eyebrows and looked down, pushing her hooves together. She couldn't move, and she didn't. Big Mac's welling up had turned to a tear, gently rolling down his cheek. He held his breath, eyes darting back and forth from his sister's gaze - or lack thereof. Applejack held her breath as well. "Big mac, well - gosh." she let out staggeredly, anxiously chuckling, raising her hoof to her chest as she exhaled bluntly. Big Mac felt it coming, Roaring and Crashing. The water was surrounding him still, no matter how subtle it was before, it had been growing this whole time. Internal dread multiplying like a bilious bacteria, out to get him and cover him in it's killing spores. It must've been at least neck-high now. AJ chuckled, "Big Mac, I love you no matter what. You're my family." She looked him in the eyes, "It's gonna be ok." And there was the straw that broke the camel's back. It came through gently, like a soft breeze through his hair in summer, but it broke him so, so ruthlessly. He bit at his bottom lip and released, his mouth turning to a shaky U-shaped frown, and he bawled. Oh, how he bawled. He lunged for his sister's arms, which quickly opened for him to land in. Applejack huffed as the wind left her with his impact, but she regained control of herself and softly smiled, tenderly hugging him back. His head rested on hers, as hers on his. "It's alright big guy," she laughed. "In fact, I think I know exactly what's up." She pushed him off cautiously, and held her hoof against his shoulder. His tears subsided slightly, he wiped them with a trembling hoof. "Have you ever thought that maybe you feel like you're in the wrong body, because you're really a mare? I know nobody sees you that way right now, but I could start if that's who you really are." Big mac's pupils constricted, and he felt a leap in his chest. A mare? He tried so hard to push it out, but he couldn't. A mare. A mare! He let out a small smile, "A mare..." he then promptly shook his head. "But, I can't be. I wish it was that easy, that I could just be a mare, oh I wish so bad AJ," he put his hooves together and shook them, like he was pleading. He pushed her hoof off of him, sighing and speaking again, his voice cracking from the tears and raw emotion, "But I never could. I couldn't. I wish I could, but I'm not allowed to." he sighed defeatedly. Applejack chuckled, "Says who? All it takes is you saying you can. And I'll be honest, I feel like a lot of people don't give it much thought whether they want to be a mare or not - they just are." It all clicked. They, just are. He processed it for a second, and thought, and the thoughts slipped into words, "I'm a mare," he whispered. He smiled, the most genuine smile he'd ever shown. "I'm, a mare." He laughed, looking at Applejack. "A mare! I'm a mare!" His smile faded slightly, "But Applejack, am I still allowed to like other fillies? I figure now I'll have to like colts, that's what I've heard at least, and I really don't want to-" despite his concerns, he still looked quite euphoric. Applejack laughed again, "No, Big Mac, you can still like mares. It doesn't work that way I'm pretty sure." She rubbed the back of her head, "If it's any help, you can do whatever you want... What feels right." She closed her mouth and grinned, waving her hoof in the air dismissively of any negativity, her eyes in the other direction. Stopping, she looked at the ground and fiddled her hooves, "I, I actually know a lot about how you're feeling," she spoke nervously, cautiously, dancing around her words like she had something she didn't want to admit to herself as well. "I, know how you feel - about liking mares and, and the wrong body an' stuff. Feeling like your body isn't yours, it doesn't belong to you and never will, unless you make a big change, or somethin'. I get it. I feel wrong when people say I'm a girl, but I don't reckon I'd feel right with them callin' me a boy or something either - I don't think I really feel like either." She paused, cutting herself off, "I don't expect that to make sense to you, I know it's kind of weird and all." Big Mac thought for a bit, and then nodded, "No, I get it. I mean - I don't, but, I know you're you, no matter what, and I don't care who you are, you're still my sibling." Big Mac smiled nervously, trying to make sure he was doing the right thing. "And you're my sister, Big Mac," Applejack smiled back at him. "Now, how do you feel about me calling you by girl terms? Like, sayin' she, and stuff..." she struggled to think of an example. "Oh! Like, if I meet someone, I'll tell 'em "Oh Big Mac? She's my big sister!" Applejack let out a wide twinkling grin, feeling confident and proud with supporting her sister's feelings. "I, I like that." Big Mac said shyly, and she did. "Wait, how do I do the same for you?" she questioned. Applejack stalled, she really didn't think she'd get this far. "I think... I really like being called he, and brother and such. Although to be honest I'm not your sister and I'm not really your brother, and I still like other fillies - but I'm not one of them, or not in the same way, and - I don't know, it's a little confusing. I think the only way that I'm a filly is in the sense that I'm a mare who likes other mares. I don't really know what any of this is called," he voiced embarrassedly. "I wish I did." Big Mac smirked, "It's okay you don't, I don't know either. And we can learn together, little brother." She fluffed Applejack's hair playfully and her smirk became a toothy smile. Applejack laughed and joined her smiling. "Thanks," he said, quite gratefully. "To be honest, I've known this for a really long time, I just didn't know how to say it," he looked out the window longingly, "I wish I knew how to tell Ma and Pa, or Granny," he laughed a little, "and I don't even know how to tell a baby," he uttered, trying to lighten the mood a little after bringing it back down. Big mac grinned, "Why don't we go out to the orchard, little brother?"
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bookofmirth · 3 years
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Hi
I'm not up to date with all the drama in this fandom bc i tend to scroll past it. But being a reader of the books before I landed in these fandoms, I'm utterly shocked about how people treat eachother.
I'm very neutral on this stupid ship war going on. I tend to fall more for Elriel. But I understand everyone's opinion. I used to read all the book analysis, but now it just seems so exhausting. I get that people love books and ship different people. That's normal, everyone has different taste etc i'm just here trying to understand why we need to bring other human beings down in order to push our own narrative.
Since when is it okay to do that???? Can't we have a normal conversation without sending death treats?
I normally don't really respond to anything that involves drama. But these last couples of months have gotten me to dislike the books more and more solely because of these, may I call them blandly, horrible people.
And i'm very sad to have to admit that i'm also getting sick of the art of the multiple ships. Which that's horrible because I love what all these amazing artists create. But the hate they receive and the comments just make me hate it all more,this whole fandom with all these toxic people ruining it for me personally.
Can't we all just agree that we like these books, and respect eachother as human beings, no matter what everyone else thinks? And maybe wait and see what the author writes? In the end it are still her books and she will have the final say in everything.
I wish SJM would release the next book sooner so all this hate would stop, then again i don't know if it will stop. They will likely continue and probably bother SJM too...
Thank you for listening to me ranting, you always seem very nice to people with different opinions, so I thought i might as well rant a bit too.
Have a lovely day!!
Hello! Thank you for this message! I think it's really helpful for people to see because they can see the impact of the things they are doing and saying in the fandom. There are a lot of people who feel comfortable being vocal in the fandom, but I gotta say, if I were just joining now, I'm not sure that would be me. I wonder how many people walk in, take a look around, and walk the fuck back out. I probably would.
I got on my soap box a little bit because I was thinking about some of the things you've said!
I was just talking with some friends, some of whom I've been in the fandom with since 2017, some who are newer. And we all 1000% agree with you. It's so, so frustrating that the fandom has gotten so nasty to the point where we've become so separated from each other that we can't have a single civil conversation. Where people of color don't feel safe, and where a lot of the fandom doesn't even seem to care about that.
When I first joined the fandom, there were definitely people who shipped one way and people who shipped another, but we were still able to have conversations with each other. There would be these really, really long posts that were chains of people commenting on posts and reblogging, then someone adding on their thoughts, then op would respond, etc. Yeah, the posts were super long to scroll through, but there was so much engagement, ya know? And it was genuine, too. We could disagree or say "hey OP I like this point, but have you thought of X?" And it was great! (I even have a tag for it, #long post tag, because I once got an anon who was annoyed at how long my conversations with people would be 💀so I made that tag for people who wanted to block those posts.)
I'm not going to pretend it was perfect - there were definitely people I didn't get along with. But that wasn't a fandom thing, that was just a personality thing. And I never in a million years expected those people to fly off the handle and start attacking me anon, or to ss my posts to make fun of elsewhere. Now, that's a constant fear hanging over everyone's heads.
It has created an extreme echo chamber. I would genuinely like having those old fandom discussions where people would comment - in the open, on reblogs - and then we could all engage in that discussion in public. Now, all of that discussion happens in private, in groupchats and Discord. And don't get me wrong, Discord is super fun. But it also means that 1) people who aren't in those groups have no idea wtf is going on when we vague, although I try not to do that anyway, and 2) when people are in those groups they egg each other on to be worse and worse. Worse than they would have been if they were on their own and didn't feel like they had a group of people there to support their asshole behavior. tbh, I have to check myself sometimes and think, "would I do this if I hadn't just gotten into a rant conversation with friends on Discord?"
And what you said about fan art, it's so frustrating!!! Since when did fan art become a battle ground??? Since when did the appearance of fan art = a win for one ship or the other?? Why can't the comments of those arts ever just be nice and appreciative of the work someone has put into it? Honestly, it makes me paranoid to write fanfic, too! I mean, is that next???
I totally agree with you that we should be able to respect each other as people. We used to be able to do that. I hate to admit it, but I have so many people blocked now because I just don't trust them. I don't trust them to be civil, I don't trust them to be able to see my posts, I don't trust them to even read what I've written without misconstruing everything I've said.
I'm not sure if people realize that there is a big difference between this:
I don't like X ship
And this:
People who like X ship are delusional
The first one is okay! It's normal! Like you said, we all have feelings and interpretations and stuff we would prefer to see or not see!
The second one, not okay! Stop insulting people, people!!!!
The idea of engaging in a normal, healthy debate with a huge portion of the fandom is such a foreign concept to me at this point, and it never used to be. There could be a lot of reasons for this. And I always try to avoid pointing fingers because I know that not everyone is like that, though I'm sure I have slipped into that from time to time.
I think it would help if we stop seeing each other as a gwynriel or an elucien or an elriel, and start seeing each other as individuals. When acosf first came out, I started noticing a trend where people would send me asks and write them as if they were writing to every single person who ships elucien, or as if they were writing to every single person who holds a certain opinion about Azriel. It was really confusing at first, and I'm gonna request that the fandom stop doing that altogether, to everyone. If you want to engage with someone, engage with that person, not your idea of who they are and what they think.
I'm down for conversations where we talk about the series and what might come next as possibilities, because that's all this is, so far. Anyone who says that "X thing will never happen" is making some bold claims, and it's really off-putting to people who know that that's not why we are here. It's not a contest where we "win" canon. It's fandom, where we talk about what we like and what we don't like and what we want and cross our fingers and hope.
EDIT I wanted to add on one thing - a lot of this behavior is incredibly shocking and disgusting and I think that we, as a fandom, need to be better at 1) calling it out, and 2) not assuming that whoever did X horrible thing represents all people from that corner of the fandom.
I hope that you have a lovely day as well! And that the fandom doesn't get you too down. @heleencollier
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