#williamblacksurvival

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Arda:Behind the scenes of Godzilla, 1998.

JP:Man, why didn’t they just have this guy fight him off, he’s huge!

William:I wouldn’t fight Godzilla if I was this dude’s size, for roughly the same reason I wouldn’t fight a komodo dragon at the size I currently am.

Leon:Not even to save New York?

William:What has New York ever done for me?

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

William:”Would you cut off your pinkie finger for 10 million dollars”.

Leon:Hand?

William:Hand. It mentioned that your pinkie accounts for 25% of your grip strength.

Leon:Just one hand or both hands?

William:Could be either or both, I’d just cut them off. Ten million is enough.

Leon:You can always put a... a prostate, in there. What’s it called.

William:Would it even reach? Up there? Your little finger? I don’t know.

Leon:Prosthesis. I meant prosthesis. I meant that if you wore a prosthesis it’s easy. I didn’t mean prostate. Shit.

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

William:I had a short, kind-of dating this one girl, and she was the only experience I’ve ever had with an actually crazy partner.

William:She would try to tell me that my friends would talk shit about me behind my back.

William:She’d say things like... Let’s call him Josiah. She was like “Yeah, Josiah shoved me in a locker and called me a bitch.” Which was a total lie.

Lenox:Josiah would never.

William:I don’t know why I use fake names. His name’s Aiden. I don’t think he’d be upset I mentioned him. Haven’t talked to him in a while.

Lenox:I bet he’s in jail.

William:No, he’s not. I saw a picture of him on Instagram the other day.

Silvia:He’s pushing people into lockers!

Lenox:Truuuue.

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

William:Phone’s ringing again... Let’s just ignore it.

Lenox:All right.

William:Huh. I thought you’d be too curious to know who’s calling.

Lenox:I am, but what if they threatened me for money...?

William:You’re a former mafiosa, have some backbone!

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

(William shows Barbara and Lenox a meme video filmed underwater where within the first few seconds a fish shows up.)

Lenox:Hm, interesting.

Barbara:That fish is so ugly, I don’t like it.

William:(pauses it) I don’t want to show you the rest. A video of the plain sea and you’re letting out a “hm interesting”??

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Leon:”Live:How to do anal from the starting point, make 10k”.

William:Hey, we’re all men here. We’re all friends. I can say this without any judgement, right?

Nathapon:Relax, no one’s going to judge you.

Leon:Okay, say it.

William:I’d do it for ten thousand.

Leon:Nine thousand, come on.

William:Are you trying to negociate my ass???

Nathapon:I thought he was offering his.

William:Would you do it, Leon? For ten thousand?

Leon:I’d do it for less. You know, eight thousand...

William:Eight dollars...

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Lenox:I’ve seen this once! If I suck out the poison from the bite, maybe-

Barbara:Don’t fucking do that! If you suck me- oh.

William:What the hell???

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

William:”Highest survived fall, 10160 meters, Venna Vulovic survived falling off a plane because of her”- wait. How is this an...? “Because of her low arterial pressure”. I don’t understand.

Jan:She didn’t bleed as much.

William:I see.

Lenox:The pressure made her float!

Luke:MY ARTERIAL PRESSURE IS LOW, YOU FOOLS! Fffffflgh, she floats away!

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

William:A guy my age was telling me how happy he was that his wife just gave birth to his fourth child, then was like “oh sorry, didn’t mean to brag”.

William:And I had to say “no worries, your life literally sounds terrible to me”.

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

“The sheriff took McCormick to a hypnotist in the hopes of unlocking further memories, but the results were inconclusive.”

William:Sounds about par for the course for investigative methods in Florida.

Lenox:”What’ve you got? How’s the evidence looking?” “Well we hosed it all down.” “Ok.”

William:What do you want next?”

Lenox:“A hypnotist?!”

William:”Bring me a metronome.”

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Lenox:Hey, did you witness my superior driving technique?

William:Yeah, I saw you get into an accident.

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

William:I need you to swear to me-

Lenox:Fuck you, William.

William:I meant promise but yeah, I kinda deserved that.

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Luke:Roll deception.

Lenox:25.

William:19. I’ve seen worse rolls, I guess.

Luke:So... I’m gonna roll six dice. I have to roll a five at most.

Lenox:We’re screwed.

Luke:(rolls dice) If I didn’t have so much to hide here, I’d ask you guys to come here and look at them. Legit.

William:Wait, did it happen?

Luke:Two, one, two, one, nine, and a nat 20. Close!

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

William:Hey Facebook kids, what are your favorite songs to run to?

Bianca:I made my own song, it’s made up of zombie noises, people saying “i’m going to cut you”, “come here little boy”, and police sirens. Lost ten pounds, three of which were tears! I’ve also lost my wallet and keys.

William:Hey, normal Facebook kids, what are your favorite songs to run to?

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

William Headcanon-05

No one calls William by an abbreviation of his name, Will, Billy, whatever. He hasn't told anyone not to do so but everyone agrees that shortening his name doesn't fit him.

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

William:How do I open this?

Lenox:I don’t know, how do you think you open a safe?

William:

William:(throws a tomahawk at the door, which flips back, the blunt end hitting his head) Ow!