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#winnie voice: dance monkey dance
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Brooklyn’s Here
Words: 2941 
Part 1 
Warning: none really. Blood? Don’t walk at night alone kids.
Paring: Jack/Katherine 
A/N: Thank You @trekkiehood for helping me edit this mess. You’re a Queen. Story evolves around Spot’s and Jack’s Friendship. Calm ya selves
“Aye watch it!” I slap away the hand of the small kid who went up for a hug and instead started sticking his small sticky hands into my empty pockets. I don't have any money to be stolen...or pockets that doesn’t have holes in them. I don’t mind giving money to kids. I hate to see anyone hungry, but around here most kids who try to pickpocket just end up giving it to some bully.
It's 4 o'clock, the sun dipping low in the hot August skies. It may be time for everything to start cooling down but the heat is still in the air and my shirt is completely soaked through, making it stick to my back.
I woke up early this morning to sell my papes so I could make the three-hour walk to Brooklyn. I lost almost half a day's pay, but that isn’t important. This is more important than worrying about if I'm eating breakfast in the morning, ‘sides, the nuns feed us. I don’t make it a habit of coming to Brooklyn, but when I do, it’s because I need to talk to Spot. And every year, on this unbearably hot August day, me and Spot have a meet-up.
When I first meet Spot Conlon I was nine years old and very new to the newsie life. As it turned out, I hated Spot. A lot. But it was fine because Spot hated me right back, maybe even a little more. Fists was never thrown ’tween us, but every time we saw another we danced on eggshells. Over a few years, we grew more friendly with each other, stopped trying to throw each other in the mud face first. We went from hate to tolerance, and ending with almost family. Spot went from a bull wanting to run me over, to an annoying older brother who worries a bit too much.
We finally became friends when I was fourteen and Spot was sixteen That's when our little ”incident” happened. All I can say is that it involved ice-cream, a dress, the Pope, and a monkey. Spot and I are sworn to secrecy to never, ever tell, even under threat of torture to ever tell what happened that day. But after that,Manhattan and Brooklyn became close allies. So to keep this peace and as a reminder to never tell anyone of the incident that happened between us, me and Spot meet every year. We pick a cheap place to ear, or just simply get a soda. We switch every year who pays for the food or drink. This year is Spot’s turn. We makes it so that we meet at the buyer’s turf, that way they get a full day of selling.
I saw Spot two weeks ago. He gave me the place we were meeting. I look back down at a scrap of paper with Spot’s sloppy handwriting, then back up at the building. The sign above the door read,” Winnie’s Place.” Sounds homie. I was about to climb the old stairs to the place, when a middle-aged man with a thick graying beard busted out the swinging door dragging an older man by the seat of his pants and neck of his shirt and throwing him down the three steps.
“Stay out ya drunk! Don't come back ‘till you paid your debt!” The bearded man dusted his hands off and walked back inside the... bar? Did Spot lead me to a bar? I don’t drink, Spot knows that. The old man slowly rose from the ground. He was dressed in almost rags . There were holes in his pants and in the white stained shirt, he was bald with a thin, fading beard. He staggered for a few seconds then closed in on me.
“Say, boy. You ain't got a nickel to spare for an old man, d’ya?” Half hopped, half limped to me, a hand thrust out, grasping at the air as if expecting me to hand him the money he wanted for his liquor.
“I ain't got nothin’ on me.” I slowly sidestepped the man one foot on the stairs, not wanting to turn my back to him.
”Come on boy. Respect ya elders. Give me a chance, will ya.” The man stumbled closer to me. The stench coming from his breath and clothes woulda been enough to wake Racer from a dead sleep.
“Sorry.” I turned and half ran up the stairs, ignoring the pleads from the old drunk. I push the swing door open, stepping into a roaring crowd.
The place was a mess. Men gambling in the corners, a fight just starting to break out between two very drunk men, ladies on a stage dancing and singing, cheering, and drinking. Spot, why? Out of all the places in Brooklyn, why here?
After weaving through the crowd of drunk people, I make it to the open bar. I sat the in cleanest chair that I could find my knuckles wood, but stop soon after realizing the wood was very very sticky.
“Hey, boy!” I looked up, the bartender was the same man who threw the drunk outside. Now he was waving a finger at me, “I don't serve no one under the age of eighteen, ya got that? So scoot!”
“I’m not here for a drink. I'm waiting for a friend.” I said trying not to let him see that I’m scared I am.
“I don't serve loitering either, boy!”
I hold up my hands to the man, trying to prove my innocence. I try again.
“Like I say, sir. I'm waiting for a friend-”
”Sure boy, I've heard ‘em all before. Young boys with no respect for my rules! I know all the tricks.-”
“Aye Winnie!”
I turn on the stool towards the recognizable voice coming from the door. There stood the little King of Brooklyn. Spot Conlon.
Spot did the same thing I did, weaving through the drunk people, except he called everyone by name and slapped some of them on the back. So Spot is a regular. Spot drinks. Nice.
“Aye, Jackie!” Spot says hopping onto the barstool beside me slapping me on the back.
“You know this man?” the bartender asks pointing at Spot. I nodd.
The man says something in another language clapping his hands together then rubbing his hands through his long beard.
“Why didn’t you say so! Any friend of Spot is always welcomed here. What can I get you.”
There is no menu laying around, or anything written above the back wall, so I just turn to Spot. Trying to play it cool.
“Jackie here will have a basket of onion rings and soda pop. Same for me.” Spot says laying down a hand full of change.
“Coming right up.” The old man says and turns away to grab us our food and drink.
I turn to Spot and give him a questioning look. Spot doesn't say anything, only rolling his eyes.
“I ran to get him a doctor for his wife and baby once. Saved the baby and wife’s life, see. So now Mr. Winnie took it upon himself to “adopt” me.” Spot shrugged
And the rest?” I asked, waving to the crowd behind us. Spot rolled his eyes.
“Sometimes I have to come down here and drag the boys back home."
“Ah. So you went soft on ‘em.” I joke. Spot gives me a death glare, slaps his hand over my sweaty shirt grabbing a fist full then making a fist with the other hand.
“Ayee calm down Spottie. I'm only joking with ya.” I raised my hands best I could.
“Your pretty nose better hope you are or I’ll mess it up for ya.” Spot let go of my shirt just as this Winnie fella came back with our food and sodas.
“So, how’s Manhattan Jackie?” Spot asks popping an onion ring in his mouth.
“It’s mid-august, so it stinks like fish,” I answer taking a bite out of my food. The onion ring is still hot and dripping with grease. Disgusting but hey, who am I to be picky on an empty stomach? At least the soda’s cold.
“Eh, you don’t live next to the bay. When it gets like this, the fish sometimes starts to go belly up.”
“Free meal.”
“Yeah Kelly, eating belly up fish sure is a fast way to fill a stomach only to empty it.” Spot wrinkled his nose in disgust before taking a big gulp his soda.
We have this unspoken thing, the conversation only lasts as long as the food does. Spot’s my big brother, but the kind you only see on holidays and funerals.
We talked for a bit. Spot asked me how Crutchie was doing. I asked him if he needed a new roof on his lodging house. Just our typical small talk. Then Spot smiled like he knew something I didn’t.
“So, tell me if I’m wrong,” he began, wiping his hands on his pants,” Because honestly when I heard about this I thought someone was sick or somethin’.”
“What, Spot?” I sigh shoving two rings into my mouth. I haven’t eaten since last night.
“I hears from Crutchie that after the strike you found yourself a pretty lady friend.” Spot gives me a wicked smile moving his eyebrows up and down. Oh, he knows it's true. And he’s going to nag me ‘till the cows come home.
I smile just at the thought of Katherine. I sold her a pape just this morning. Her smile is like the sunrise. I told her that I would be and I wouldn’t be able to see her until other late into the night or the next day.
“Ah, so it’s true! You sly dog you! Who is it?” Spot took another mouth full of his soda.
“It’s um, Katherine Plumber.” I wince slightly, unsure of what his reaction will be.
Spot suddenly snorted his soda out of his nose. I groaned as he wiped his nose with the back of his hand.
“Katherine Plumber? Pulitzer’s daughter? That Katherine? Same doll?”
“Women ain't dolls Spot.”
“Yeah, yeah, Brooklyn slang. Pulitzer’s daughter?” Spot’s brown eyebrows are up so hard they're almost in his brown hair.
“Same Katherine.” I take a long drink from the soda almost finishing it off.
Spot doesn't say anything only whistled, smirking at me, then bumping me with his shoulder.
“What about you? You got some girl ‘round here?” I ask taking the last of my onion rings and final drops of my soda. Spot didn't answer me, only shoved the last of his onion rings into his mouth.
“Spottie?” It was my turn to raise my eyebrows.
Spot shook his head.
“Come on Spottie.” I elbow him. He glared at me, finishing his soda.
“I'm waiting.” I say with a smirk, turning around in the stool and resting my elbow on the sticky counter. Spot doesn't say anything for a minute, ‘till he pops his last onion ring into his mouth.
“Its… complicated.” Spot mumbles not looking at me. I look at him, raising my eyebrows at him waiting for a further explanation. “What's difficult Spottie?”
Spot didn't say anything, then cleared his throat. “The, um… talking part.”
”I'm sorry what?” I ask turning to Spot. His face was beet red, “you can't…?” I started giggling, which turned into full-on doubled over laugher.
“Shut up!” Spot hissed at me. Kicking my leg. Which only made me laugh harder.
”Food is gone. I'm gone.” Spot said shorty hopping off his stool. I was still laughing, getting down from the stool and following Spot out the door. Once outside, the air had cooled a bit, but the humidity was still in full force. The sun was about an hour from setting, the meeting place was an hour walk from Spot’s place, but a two-hour walk from mine. It's not safe walking New York at Night, no matter who you are. An easy mark for getting mugged. But I need to get home, I told Crutchie I would be home tonight and I need to work tomorrow.
“You need a place to sleep?” Spot asked using his hand to block his eyes from the setting sun.
”Nah, I's got to get back. Told Crutchie I would be home. Plus I got to get to work in the morning, I love ya, Spottie, but I missed the evening pape bein’ here. Gotta make money somehow.”
“You sure? You can bum some money from me if ya need ta.I don't want some ‘Hattan boy screaming at me ‘cause you got mugged.” Spot turned so he was fully facing me. The Big brother I never had.
“‘Preciated but I need to be home,” I said holding my hand out to Spot..
“Last chance Jackie.” His eyes held a little too much concern.
“Stop worryin’, Spot. If you don’t hear nothin’ I’m home, if ya hear somethin’ I’m probably dead. ‘kay?”
Then Spot got serious stepping closer, but not too close, so he could whisper somethin’ to me.
“You didn’t tell no one did ya?” He’s talking about the accident, the reason we even meet every year.
“I didn’t even tell Crutchie. You say anything?” I whisper back.
“If I told anyone, I’d lose my rep in Brooklyn.”
“That or called ya an idiot.”
“Aye,” Spot said pulling away from me. He fixes his hat on his head, then nods at me.
“Same time next year.” Spot started walking down the sidewalk.
“Only if you grow three more inches.” I badger. Spot stops walking, turns, and lunges at me. I jump back. The Brooklyn boy smiles, pointing a finger at me,
“You know I can soak ya, Jack Kelly.”
“Sure thing Spot.” I say, walking away from him.
“I know where you live.”
“Okay, Spot.” I wave behind me, smiling, and turn the corner.
I start the long walk home, wishing I brought some kind of money to a lest get a trolley ride home, but wishing didn’t get you much. I walk no more than five minutes before I feel someone drag me from behind into an ally-way. I didn’t have any time to respond or throw a punch at who every grabbed me before my back was shoved against the brick wall and a knife was pressed into my neck. The gold setting sun shone on an old man's face. The same man who was thrown out of Winnie’s. The same man who was asking me for money.
“Hey, boy.” His breath smells so heavily of liquor that my eyes began to water. One of his front teeth is missing, the rest are yellow or black.
The oldest part of my brain wakes up. The part that supposed to keep me alive. Preparing me to either run or freeze. Every fibre in my body pushing me. Commanding every cell to not move unless I want to be headless before I can even take in the next breath. I’ve had this happen to me before, same story just different chapter. A cold sweat starts in my hands and drips down my back. I start thinking of every way I can run, but I can’t move as long as he has a knife pressed up against me. Think Kelly. Run kelly, Run!
“Like I said before. I don’t have-”
The man’s fist collides with my right temple so hard I see white, I would have hit the floor but the knife bit into my skin.
Stand up jack! Stand up! I inwardly scold myself.
“Shut up.” The old man growls. His hands find my pockets and start turning them out.
I blinked hard. Come on Jack, get your grounding! Come on, think!
The drunk’s hand lowered so did his eyes, I saw my chance and took it. I threw my knee hard towards him. The drunk stumbled over and lowered his knife. I raised my hand and grabbed this shoulders ready to head butt him, but before I could-
.....He lunged at me.
I couldn’t even scream, I didn’t even gasp. I let go of the drunk, he let go of me.
The man slowly stepped away from me, looked at his hands then at me. I slowly sunk to the ground. I was just sitting there, gasping. Just trying to breathe. But… I.. Its kinda hard to breathe with a knife in my lung.
Stabbed. I was an idiot.
I was-
I’m-
“Should have just given me the money.” The old man said. Then ran off leaving me alone.
I looked down, blood seeps out from the small knife stuck into my ribs. I raise my hands slowly, pressing around the wound. The blood instantly made my hands wet. My heart was beating out of my chest.
I need to get home. I need to get home. The boys, Crutchie. I can’t stay here in the ally. I can’t..No! This is not happening. This is not real. This is not happening. This is not me. I am not here. I am not. I-I.. I’m.
I was-
I need to-
I...
“Jack? What are you- Jack? JACK!”
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robingirlwonder78 · 5 years
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Modern woman chapter 7 to ?-1940s Bucky Barnes
Bucky Barnes x reader
Steve Rogers x reader (Platonic)
The reader finds out she’s pregnant 2 months after he’s shipped out. Unwed and determined she plans to make the best of it with a little help from Steve, until Bucky returns home.
Warnings: mild smut, pregnancy, torture
Modern woman masterlist
Masterlist
Cheese and potato dumpling recipe
Chap 1 Chap 2 Chap 3 Chap 4 Chap 5
Chap 6
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Austria, Germany
"Barnes..James...Sargent...325575...Barnes..."
Over, and over thats all he'll give em. His voice hourse from the hours of torture, needles being jamed into his arm. The screams that followed.
"BARNES...JAMES.... SARGENT....325575.." A guttural groan as his veins burn with whatever Zola just shot into him, his voice weakened. "Barnes....J...james....S..s..sargent....325575...." The only thing keeping him sane is the picture of your face in his mind. Dreaming of the last time he was with you. Even as the chemicals burn his insides, he focuses harder on those moments. Focuses on the memory of your hips pressed into his, back arched as you moan under him.
Then he thinks of how you must look now, pretty face glowing. Belly round as his child grows in you. A single tear slides down his cheek, not because of the pain, because he may never see you hold his baby in your arms.
"Barnes...James....Sargent....325575.."
Brooklyn, New York
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It's quite around the kitchen table, three Sundays had passed since Winnie received the telegram. In those three weeks several things had happened.
One, you had moved in with Winnie and Becca, sobbing pleas had you giving into a broken hearted mothers request. Two, you finally quit working a Rubies. So close to your final weeks of pregnancy, you both agreed it would be best. Swollen feet, and an aching back didn't lend to good service. Rubie promised though, you'd always have a job if you ever needed it.
Now here you sit pokin at the cheese and potato dumplings Becca had prepared. In the background the radio plays, and Ella Fitzgerald croons away about confessions of love. You close your eyes thinking about the first time you Bucky danced.
For so long had you pined over James Barnes, watched him chase skirt after skirt. Even Doloris got a shot at him, you couldn't say anything to Becca she'd surely box your ears. Talking to Steve about it was out of the question. So the day you stopped trying to make him notice you, he noticed.
Convincing a few of your girlfriends to go dancing, so you could get Bucky off your mind (not that they knew that). You pulled on the party dress your mother brought home for you. One of her cleaning clients daughter had thrown it away. The family is well off, and the dress had a small tear. A simply repaired tear. It was sheer yet tasteful, and hugged your curves nicely. You hated waste, so her disregarded garment became your gain.
Curling your hair so it fell softly around your shoulders accenting your neck and clevage, you planned on getting all the boys to dance with you tonight. A smudge of red lipstick across your lips, a dab of rose water at your neck and you were ready to go. Grabbing your sister's heels, and your mothers clutch you tip toe out if the house. Past your snoring father.
Hand in hand, you, Becca, and Connie walk into the dance hall. The music was loud and the place was hopping. Looking over at Connie her face is lit up with a big smile, her eyes already dancing. Meeting Beccas eyes you see apprehension. "What if Buckys here? He'll drag me home to ma." Shaking your head your roll your y/c/eyes. "Your 19 not 9, so if Bucky IS here I'll deal with him. Even though you'd been on a few dates you've never been dancing so James Buchanan Barnes was not going to ruin your night.
Leaning against the bar drinking a beer Bucky had already noticed the three dames walk in, his eyes instantly falling on the curvy doll in the blue dress. Her head was turned away talking to her friend, and that gave him opportunity to let his eyes roam unnoticed. Giving her a thorough once over his heart started pounding and the distinct tightness in his trousers had him wondering if the face matched the rest. Finally her head swung back to the room and soft curls swayed around the edges of her face. That's when his heart stopped, and Bucky realized it was Y/N. He had known you were beautiful, but this was to much.
Bucky had realized he'd had feelings for Y/N a few months ago. Sitting on his stoop shining his shoes he noticed a gangly man with blonde hair had show up at her front door. Curious he continued to watch, he knew your older sister was engaged and her younger was only 12. Was he there for y/n. You didn't date that he was aware of. In fact he was pretty sure she was sweet on him, he noticed how she changed toward him. But their friendship was so important to him and Stevie would attempt to kill him if he broke your heart, so he pretended he hadn't.
So when her father opened the door stumbling drunk as usual, and y/n had flown out the door around him to push him back inside, Bucky knew the guy was there for her. When gangly man as he named him handed her flowers y/n smiled so sweetly it made his heart ache. Unable or unwilling at the time to label the feeling splitting his chest he just stared she looked so different, Beauitful.
Before he knew it gangly man reached out and grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips. Buckys face contorted with anger, and his fists clenched till his knuckles went white. Then it hit him this feeling, he was jealous. And it knocked him on his ass.
Throwing his head back Bucky finishes off his beer, then nudges Steve. "Look who's here." following Bucks eyes he sees you, Becca and Connie making their way farther into the hall. "What are they doing here?" Shrugging Bucky starts heading toward them. "That's what I'm going to find out." He had a feeling tonight was the night he would toss out your friendship, because he would be damned if another man would touch you again while he watched.
Strolling up to the three of you Bucky first addresses Becca. "I see one jerk getting out of line and you're going home." To Connie he smiles. "I know your brother, so same goes. John has had my back, and for tonight I'm big brother." Rolling her eyes Connie walks over to a scowling Becca, pulling her away to get a drink. Leaving Bucky to turn his eyes on you.
As the band begins to play a slow song about love and confessions he extends his hand. "And you....Would you do me the honor" Turning on his most charming smile he waits for your answer. Stunned silent you place your hand in his, letting him lead you onto the dance floor. Tonight had been about forgetting James Barnes, but it seemed fate and or Bucky had something else in mind.
Shaking you out if your day dream, Winnies sweet voice admonishes you for not eatting. "Sweetheart, you have to eat." Smiling you nod knowing she was right. Picking up your fork again you begin to slowly eat your food, remembering that you had a little someone depending on you to.
107th USO show, Europe
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The show girls had been a hit, him not so much. Doodling in his notebook Steve thinks about the men around him. They were war torn and haggered, and here he was. A joke, a dancing monkey. Lost in his thoughts Steve is taken back when the last thing he expects to hear is the sweet voice of Peggy Carter. "Hi, Steve." Turning to look over his shoulder in wide eyed surprise. "What are you doing here?"
"Officially I'm not...."
Thank you for reading 💜💜
Taglist: @callie-bear15 @usernamemingmei @lumar014 @fatheadtheroger @redhairedfeistynerd
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junker-town · 4 years
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These are the best and worst sports in fiction, according to us
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What is your favorite fictional sport and why is it Calvinball?
Inventing a sport is hard. The best fictional sports from movies/books/shows/etc. seem to fall into two categories: Either exceedingly clever games you have always wished you could play (and sometimes can!), or senseless, broken dreck that no one could possibly find fun, no matter what a story’s canon would lead you to believe.
Here are the best and worst fictional sports, as selected by SB Nation staff. There are a lot of other options out there, however, and plenty of discussion to be had about what sports even count as “fictional.” Does a sport you can “play” in a video game count? What about, uh, murder-based sports?
Let us know in the comments. Or just yell at us about our decisions. That’s fine, too.
Best: Jumanji
I wanted to consider the board game oeuvre of fictional sports, and considered Cones of Dunshire for the top spot. But Jumanji is it to me for the way it captured my imagination as a kid. Will it inflict untold damage, and potential death, upon you and everyone around for miles? Sure. It may also turn you into a cool monkey boy with a prehensile tail. Just roll the dice, dingus, it’s your turn.
Worst: Star Wars holochess (I guess it’s called Dejarik)
It’s kinda like Magic: The Gathering crossed with chess. The board looks too cramped for much strategy to take place, though. Plus you have to let the Wookiee win.
— Louis Bien
Best: Blernsball
Blernsball is the 30th-century version of baseball, which took place in Futurama (Season 3, episode 16, “A Leela of Her Own”).
The reasoning behind this being the best fictional sport, is that baseball in the future undoubtedly has to be better than baseball in its current form. It’s that simple. Baseball is good now, and assuming they were to actually evolve over nine more centuries, it could be great.
But that’s also a big if.
Worst: Poohsticks
The objective of Poohsticks (from Winnie-the-Pooh, obv) is to stand over some running water, drop a stick, and see whose stick gets down to the end first.
Go play Fortnite or Call of Duty instead.
— Harry Lyles Jr.
Best: BASEketball
A sport that combines all the fun of basketball with none of the running, jumping, or otherwise-needed athletic traits one needs to typically be good at basketball. Any game you can play with a beer in hand is a good one. Especially if all you have to do to play defense is remind opponents how their sister’s GOING OUT WITH SQUEAK.
Worst (but not really): Bouillabaseball
It’s just baseball with fish parts. I expected better from the ALF writer’s room, but I still stan the Equinox Weenies.
— Christian D’Andrea
Best/Worst: Vampire Baseball
Though I’m loathe to admit I’ve read “Twilight,” I would like to make fun of “Twilight,” so here we are. Basically, in the book, a real treat for our heroine was getting to watch Edward and his vampire family play vampire baseball. Wow, sounds fun, they have superhuman abilities I wonder what their sports will be like?!
Get your hopes down, it’s just regular baseball that’s louder. Because they hit the ball so hard. Great date idea Edward, Bella gets to watch your family game of regular baseball. She doesn’t even get to play. I can’t believe she likes Edward more than Jaco— I mean I don’t care, Twilight’s for children.
— Clara Morris
Best: The Running Man
I’m sure there are some prudes out there saying “but Jaaaames, murder isn’t a sport!” To which I would reply “it is the REALEST sport, even when fictionalized.”
The Running Man is unquestionably one of the greatest action movies of all time, which game us the best fictional sport of all time. It’s professional wrestling, with all its pomp and circumstance mixed American Gladiators with a healthy sprinkling of pure, unadulterated murder.
In case you’re not familiar with the plot, the basic concept is simple: Dangerous convicted felons are given a chance to fight for their freedom in gladiatorial battles against armed, themed enforcers on a dystopian game show. It probably says something about me that I like this so much, but here we are.
Worst: Taking the Stone
This is from the show Farscape and is the dumbest thing of all time. Rather than try to explain in my own words let me just share the entry from Wikipedia, which does a great job detailing how dumb this is.
“The game consists of jumping into a deep well, and chanting while falling. A sonic net at the bottom of the well, sustained by the participants’ voices, cushions their fall. When the youth reach the age of 22 cycles, rather than grow old and be deformed by the planet’s radiation, they stop chanting part way into the leap and die against the rocks. This death is called Taking the Stone.”
Jumping into a well. Maybe killing yourself. Bad sport.
— James Dator
Best: Cricket
Or, more specifically, the good Dr. Stephen Maturin’s take on cricket. At the beginning of Patrick O’Brian’s The Fortune of War, what can only be described as the hulk of the HMS Leopard drifts into the Indonesian bay of Pulo Batang. The crew, exhausted by their recent ordeal in the Southern Ocean, relaxes with a game of cricket against that of the HMS Cumberland. Or they try to, before Maturin, equipped with a bizarre, home-made bat, makes his appearance on the behalf of the Leopards.
A rapacious grin ran round the Cumberlands: they moved much closer in, crouching, their huge crab-like hands spread wide. The Admiral held the ball to his nose for a long moment, fixing his adversary, and then delivered a lob that hummed as it flew. Stephen watched its course, danced out to take it as it touched the ground, checked its bounce, dribbled the ball towards the astonished cover-point and running still he scooped it into the hollow of his hurley, raced on with twinkling steps to mid-off, there checked his run amidst the silent stark amazement, flicked the ball into his hand, tossed it high, and with a screech drove it straight at Jack’s wicket, shattering the near stump and sending its upper half into a long, graceful trajectory that reached the ground just as the first of La Flèche’s guns, saluting the flag, echoed across the field.
As far as rebukes towards English pretensions go, deliberate or not, it’s pretty hard to beat Dr. Maturin’s efforts. This is cricket as it really ought to be played: nonsensically and with maximum force.
NB: My favourite part of the above passage, incidentally, is the confusion it created amongst O’Brian’s significant American audience over whether Dr. Maturin was any good at cricket or not.
Worst: Quidditch
Take a perfectly good magical sport, with three goals, multiple balls, rogue and malevolent magical items designed to hurt you, and flying. The bones of quidditch are close to perfect, giving scope for brilliant tactical and individual play in three dimensions.
And then the Golden Snitch ruins it. There’s absolutely no need for the damn thing. The chasers, beaters and keepers are playing an interesting, well-constructed sport. The seekers, meanwhile, are playing a ridiculous version of hide-and-seek which almost inevitably overrides what everyone else on both teams are trying to achieve.
Not only does the hunt for the Snitch render the actually good part of the sport irrelevant, it also destroys quidditch as a spectator sport. Since the Snitch is so small as to be untrackable, the audience in the stands has no idea what’s going on at any given time, making this a sport that’s both nonsensical and impossible to follow.
Kill the Snitch, and then we’ll talk.
— Graham MacAree
Best: Crunchball 3000
Now I know what you’re all thinking. What the hell is CrunchBall 3000. Well it’s a computer game that has LORE.
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The game has elements of rugby, soccer and football and is an excellent time waster at wo— I mean it’s a really underrated way to pass the time.
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Worst: Quidditch ... but in real life.
*It’s not really the worst, I just wanted to talk about it.*
Don’t get me wrong, IRL quidditch is fun. I’m just mad that the one time I played, I was the seeker and the snitch could go anywhere. We were in a park and there were no boundaries. I stopped chasing them after three minutes. I have asthma, man. I was off it.
— Kofie Yeboah
Best: Calvinball
When I was a kid in my hometown, there were a few boys on my street who were around the same age as me. In the summer, we would all spend our hard earned pop-bottle deposit returns on buying used baseballs at rummage sales and then use them to play in an open field down the road from our houses. Baseball is actually a very loose term for what we played, especially once the ball was lost or the cover tore off. Then it was a free for all. Little did I know until later in my development that such games as those we played were already mastered by the titular characters in Calvin and Hobbes. Calvinball, you see, is a game with no rules, other than the rules you make up as you go along. No two games are allowed to be the same, and no rules made up on the fly are allowed to be duplicated. Throw on some masks, hit a baseball with a mop and go score some points by running seven times around the sprinkler. Wait! The sprinkler is now the loser zone, so you have to use a croquet mallet to hit a tennis ball over the driveway without it touching any dirt or concrete. If it does, you lose 10 points.
“Other kids’ games are all such a bore!
They’ve gotta have rules and they gotta keep score!
Calvinball is better by far!
It’s never the same! It’s always bizarre!
You don’t need a team or a referee!
You know that it’s great, ‘cause it’s named after me!”
As Calvin opined in the final Calvinball strip when a football game turned into one of the crazy contests, “Sooner or later, all our games turn into Calvinball.”
There really isn’t a better sport out there, real or fictional.
Worst: Star Trek’s parrises squares
Let’s keep this portion short and sweet: They never gave any rules to parrises squares on the show, but it clearly is dumb because there is no way the folks who made Star Trek: The Next Generation were able to come up with a cool sport. That’s probably why they didn’t bother showing viewers much of the game, which is played with an “ion mallet” on a padded playing field.
I know no other details. But it’s is clearly dumber than real-life quidditch, which is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever watched in my entire life.
— Sam Eggleston
Best: Rocket League
Video games are murky territory, and I’m not sure if most of them can be classified as fictional sports. Is Counter-Strike a fictional sport, or a simulation of a military operation? I’m not really sure. But Rocket League is unquestionably a game about a fake sport, and it is by far the best fake sport anyone’s ever invented.
Soccer is the most popular sport ever invented by humans. The coolest iteration of soccer ever invented is from Nike’s 3v3 Secret Tournament ad, which was played in a metal cage. Rocket League iterates on this concept further by replacing the human competitors with freaking rocket powered cars. If it was possible to create Rocket League in real life, it would be the world’s most popular spectator sport.
Worst: Professional wrestling
Oh no, I’ve exposed the business! It’s difficult to classify wrestling as a type of sports or entertainment, hence the term “sports entertainment,” but essentially it’s a TV show about a fake sports league. There’s no non-fixed sport that bears a strong resemblance to pro wrestling, so I think it’s fair to classify pro wrestling as a fictional sport.
Wrestling Twitter, don’t scream at me. I am not here to talk shit about the entertainment you love. I’ve watched thousands of hours of pro wrestling and I love it. But as an actual sport, it’s kind of a mess. There are no published rules, and the referees seem utterly incapable of enforcing the ones that broadcasters tell us about. Competitors are not punished for repeatedly assaulting referees. Any sensible sport would have introduced additional referees or an instant replay system after 100 years of consistent shenanigans, but the major pro wrestling organizations simply refuse. No fictional sport has less competitive integrity.
— Kim McCauley
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ikonmenow · 7 years
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hello I am new to ikon and I'm still getting to know the boys ! Can you do like a brief summary of what each of them are like (personality wise) and maybe their likes and dislikes ? I don't know if you these kinds of request but you are the only blog that seems easier to approach if u know what I mean ! ~~
hey there! omg welcome to the fandom c: sure sure, i will try my best to get you a small description of the boys, i hope you enjoy it. yeah, it’s totally fine to be honest and omg i’m glad to know that c: thanks for stopping by c: i apologize if this is very messy but i still hope you can get the main ideas out from this- let me just tell you that the original six members all have a mole on their neck- yes this information is very important...
hanbin / b.i.
hanbin is the leader of the group, he is not the elder of the group though and the other members have said that they are able to be where they are thanks to hanbin’s leadership. hanbin is however, very serious when it comes to work and he has stated before that out of the group, he’s the one who stays back later to work - he’s a workaholic; whenever he’s working he is pretty much strict with stuff to the point they call him tiger leader. apart from being the leader, he also works on the choreography, lyrics and what not- he has composed for other artists, other than his band (such as winner’s empty, together with bobby; he also took part on blackpink’s whistle, epik high’s born hater) i am not, under any circumstance saying that the songs are only hanbin’s creation though. he does write their songs but there are other people involved as well, either on the composing part or the lyrics. he’s also very dorkish and a bit shy sometimes. he has a huge passion for his little sister that has been present in the survivals he had been part of and the concerts as well. oh- he also has an obcession for mickey mouse haha and his favorite snack is probably pringles. he is called by his members gorilla / monkey and is a model for nona9on together with cl, bobby and blankpink’s lisa (i’m sorry if there’s anyone missing here).  i’m sorry, i almost forgot his love for dogs- i had to state this.
jiwon / bobby
he’s the other rapper in iKON although he can also sing; he has composed songs for his own and also for iKON as well as for other artists (as stated, winner’s empty, took part in epik high’s born hater, hisuhyun’s i’m different). he is the winner of show me the money 3. he also debuted under the subunit MOBB, together with winner’s song mino. he is, as stated before, a model for nona9on. he’s the mood maker who’s 99% of the time all hyper - for concerts he is the party itself. he’s very close to his family and let me just say he is very charming. jinhwan and bobby are the ones who have been with hanbin since the begining, them being the very original team that later on had four other guys joining them. he does get along with everyone pretty well. he has an older brother and used to live in virginia, i believe; his family moved back to korea when he won show me the money 3 as he had promised to buy a house for them. he’s good at basketball, by the way. and has an obcession with winnie the pooh-
junhwe / junhoe
he’s the sassiest out of them. and he’s awkward as hell, tho he is aware of that. and i’m sorry but i gotta say this - he is probably the silliest out of them. he’s part of the vocal line, as well as the maknae line. in all honesty, is vocals are probably the easiest to distinguish from the group. oh and he is loud as hell. he had participated in kpop star (not sure of the season, sorry) and well, he has an undying passion for michael jackson. he’s also very good at dancing. i believe he took part in composing at least one of the songs in their album, rhythm ta it is. other than this, he’s the one to tease the other members and atcually mock them because he has no shame. okay, i didn’t say this haha. he has an elder sister
donghyuk
he’s a very smart, loving and sweet guy. has been part of jyp entertainment before joining yg entertainmend and team b. his father passed away when he was eight. he was part of the DEF company (just in case you wanna see him dancing, which you should because he’s life). he has a younger sister. omg lemme say that this cutie patootie hurt his beautiful foot on the last episode of mix and match. and he’s the paparazzi (dongparazzi) of the group. he also plays the piano and his voice is sweet like an angle’s- don’t try to deny it, fight me if you do- he’s a cutie and probably gets teased often. he offered his debut album to his late father as he promised he would when he visited him. and you gotta know that his laugh is life- lemme just- on bobby’s holl up, there’s donghyuk laughing and i feel like my life is complete. he also speaks english as he had studied overseas, in america, i think? i’m not totally sure about this-
yunhyeong
he has a huge passion for the nivea lipbam which got him to participate on a commercial. i had to start by here... he’s the closest to hanbin and junhwe (as he had stated he joined when junhwe did). he also has a sister that’s a model or something like that and a dog. out of everyone, he cooks the best as his family owns a restaurant. he is one of the most underrated members and he tends to keep his feelings to himself especially if he’s sad because he doesn’t want to worry the others tho he is always looking out for the group, making sure they’re alright. oh and he looks alike chanwoo...or better, chanwoo looks alike him so they are the monster twins- yunhyeong also likes pranking the others and he is pretty clueless when he is pranked- cue in that one time jiwon pulled a prank on him and yunhyeong was real lost. he’s mostly smiling as well, because that’s just how bright he actually is
chanwoo
he was the last one to join the original group. he is the maknae and a very kind person who hates crying in front of other people. he had improved a lot, both dancing wise and singing wise after the show and even though he was real closed and probably even akward, he is now more carefree to the point he goes around mocking the eldest, especially bobby (you gotta know they are natural enemies). he’s one of the tallest out of the group, together with junhwe but this kid- damn. he has an older brother and he was an actor and joined ikon to follow his dream. he had participated in tvxq’s balloons mv (i believe) when he was a kid, together with astro’s moonbin who’s his childhood friend. we need actor chanwoo tbh- he is the satan of the group the evil maknae
jinhwan
he’s the eldest and a very sensitive person who doesn’t like people fighting. he has a sister, not sure if younger or older. he participated on mari and i with b.i., a show where he roasted the living hell out of hanbin where he played with dogs and animals in general. he’s the shortest out of the group and gets teased about it, our little 13cm fairy- he has an heart shaped mole under his eye ermg- so cute tbh. also, he’s trustworthy and he was born in jeju so he loves the ocean and whenever they go there, they have to swim or he’ll nag at the members because coming to jeju and not going for a swim is like a sin- his vocals are very sentimental as well, he can easily express his feelings through the song and he is very funny too- he likes teasing his members a lot but then gets roasted and just yeah- poor him-
well, i know that there’s so much left to say but my brain right now is just not working anymore hahah. i hope you enjoyed it and feel free to stop by the ask box again if you have any question.
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bigetakesontheworld · 7 years
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It's Disneyland day! The one thing Tanika knew she desperately wanted to do. I had to pick up a new SD card as I filled my first one in two days (typical) so we stopped at Kowloon Tong and I had a very awkward moment where I couldn't figure out where the register was and the man ran off with my money and the SD card, but I figured it out in the end. We showed Tanika Taste, an upmarket supermarket that sells everything from hand made sushi to freshly squeezed juices, of which we picked up one each for our journey. We made it to Sunny Bay (even managing to get seats!), and on to the Disneyland train with Mickey shaped windows and figurines of various characters lining the walls. With Tanika almost shaking in excitement, and myself not much different, we made it through the gates, past the giant water feature of Mickey surfing water from a whales blowhole, and found ourselves a map. Deciding to start with Adventure Land, we discovered we were just in time for the next session of "Festival of the Lion King", a 30 minute stage show that was almost entirely worth the entry price. Enormous extremely detailed animated puppets of Simba, Timone and Pumba, and various other characters were main features in the production, along with intricate costumes, beautifully choreographed dance moves and extremely talented performers. It was probably the highlight of the entire day. Making our way back into reality, we headed for Grizzly Gulch, where Tanika managed to convince mum to go on a roller coaster. Despite her high pitched assurances of "I'm fine, I can do this" she copes extremely well, and didn't even scream. To be honest the reaction was slightly disappointing. Our stomachs were rumbling, and so after making it to Mystic Point, we stopped for lunch. The food was gross, looked nothing like the pictures or the description, but being at that point of hunger we ate as much as we could handle and kept moving, rather quickly. Mystic Manor was probably mums favourite attraction, featuring a cheeky monkey called Albert and a relatively slow paced ride where the worst that happened was a few water droplets obscuring her glasses. Although I think she enjoyed the couple behind us photobombing our obligatory selfie just as much. Heading for Tarzans' Tree House, it started to drizzle, but with mums assurance that the weather was at its worst for the day, we boarded the raft and began our super authentic jungle exploration. Tanika had her first experience of witnessing Chinese spitting, and I was asked to get a photo with a very polite pair of Indian gentlemen. The Treehouse itself was pretty cool, although I was slightly confused as to why baby Tarzan was watching Tarzan the movie, but I guess not everything has to make sense in this confusing world. Tanika was shattered once we arrived at the princess garden, to find out Tinkerbell had packed up and called it quits for the day, however the rest of the princess Castles were nearly as exciting, especially when we figured out you turned the little wheel and they started doing stuff. With a chorus of "Under the Sea" and a swing in our step, we continued on our adventure. Although we couldn't meet Tinkerbell, Winnie the Pooh was out and about still, although looking a little on the tired side. Being a fond childhood memory for both of us, we joined the queue with a 20 minute wait time for a few snaps. When it was finally our turn, Pooh got a little too friendly. If there's one way to crush a dream, it's to have your butt groped by your childhood hero. Despite this we both still bought a honey pot mug as we left that night, and refuse to let one gropey Pooh ruin our memories. And hey, we still got our photo taken. Our program said the Mad Hatters teacup ride would be closed, but with luck in our favour (sort of) it was open and the queue was short! After maybe elbowing a few kids in the face (I said maybe! Nothing confirmed and no visible injuries) we scored a super sweet teal cup. And god dammit we were the fastest teacup in there! Well, we felt like we were, and that's what counts, although mum just shut her eyes and tried not to be sick. Slightly dizzy, we made it to Tomorrowland, home of Iron Man, and other super futuristic whosiwhatsits. The Iron Man expo was a solid 7 out of 10. All of the cool Stark inventions were on display with heaps of info, and the only place points were lost were for two extremely shitful small girls, whose parents were completely oblivious to their demon spawn climbing under people's legs, over railings and pushing and shoving their way through the crowd. This began a super fun game between Tanika and I, we later named "fuck 'em". Blocking them at every opportunity became more and more difficult as they grew increasingly frustrated and desperate, actually getting on their bellies to try to squeeze between our ankles, before mum snapped "I think you need to go find your mother, now" in her super scary adult teacher voice. After successfully disposing of the pests, we were able to enjoy the virtual ride with Jarvis and Iron Man to its full extent, fighting aliens and saving the world! Having seen all we could really handle in one day and feeling pretty lethargic, we headed to the shops before the famous Disneyland Parade, which happened to be cancelled, because it was drizzling. We were not impressed. We got a little too excited with the shopping part of our day, which can happen, but hey, it's Disneyland, who wouldn't? Laden with bags we decided to still give the day a strong 9/10 and headed back to the city to find dinner. Mum took us to a fantastic Thai restaurant on the riverbank, and we finished our day full of food and definitely ready for bed.
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littlethoughtnow · 6 years
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My review of wicked
On Friday 5th of August I went to watch Wicked at the Apollo Victoria theatre London. The musical was written in book form Winnie Holzman with the music being written by Steven Schwartz. It is the 9th longest running Broadway show.
I really enjoyed watching Wicked. The staging, background and scenery were all incredible. The staging consisted of two metal structures, which the characters could climb up, one on either side with a large bridge connecting them.
My favourite character was Elphaba who was played by Emma Hatton, this is because the character was very complex yet she mananged to portray it amazingly. There were many other character that were incredible such as Glinda  (Savannah Stevenson) and the wizard of Oz (Mark Curry). Every single performer had incredible and powerful voices. Causing me to like it even more.
The only part i was even slightly unsure of was a dance where the monkeys came onto the stage. And did i very alternative dance. I didn't believe it was bad however it wasn't to my taste.
Having not seen any west end performance before I don't have any to compare the show and experience to. However I would 100% recommend it to anyone who like either singing, acting or dancing.
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frontmezzjunkies · 7 years
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Hazel & Cheryl @Wicked
Wicked: A Green Witch Can Be Good, Hazel.
By CherylEditor
What evokes more childlike wonder than going to the theatre? To suspend your disbelief and slough of adult cynicism? Today I won the theatre geek jackpot. I went to see Wicked (music/lyrics by Stephen Schwartz; Book by Winnie Holzman) on Broadway for the first time starring my collegiate friend, Mariand Torres, as Elphaba. As if this was not enough, I brought my 6 year-old daughter, budding theatre enthusiast, Hazel.
Cheryl and Mariand in College
Let me give you some back-story… There is a reason with all of the theatre that I’ve seen over the years that I’ve never seen Wicked (based on the book by Gregory Maguire). When I was 19, I was in theatre school and we were doing practice auditions for an upcoming show.  I finished my song and sat down feeling content with my singing, when next strutted up a raven-haired bombshell who sang with such finesse and power that I knew at that moment I was seeing a star. I also knew that I would never make it in musical theatre with that girl as competition. I knew that someday she would star as Elphaba in Wicked on Broadway and I wanted to see only her play that part.
When I got word that Mariand would understudy Elphaba, I waited for her to be scheduled to perform and with the effervescent excitement of my 6 year-old, I purchased the tickets and off we went.
Hazel and Cheryl at Wicked
The entire experience started with my daughter in the lobby, she was in awe of every design detail. I probably wouldn’t have even batted an eye at these things if I were alone.  She was nervous and excited. She was concerned about the spooky dark nature of the show, and although we discussed the plot line, it remains difficult for her princess-oriented mind to understand that the green witch was going to be “good.”
Once we took our seats, her nervous excitement was magnified by the dragon which she was concerned might come down and eat us. She also noted the lighting of the emerald city and wondered aloud why and how it glowed. I reminded her again that this was all for entertainment and the lighting (by Kenneth Posner) helped create an emotional experience. Once the curtain went up, cranked by spooky monkeys, Hazel leaned forward in her seat so far onto the edge that she nearly fell off.  She was immediately taken by the striking costumes (by Susan Hilferty), which transported the audience into the fantastical world that felt timeless and full of possibility.
PJ Benjamin. Photo by Joan Marcus.
As a mother to two small children, my precious free time requires me to be very selective about the shows I see, and I admit that I thought this show was going to be mostly cliché and fluff, without much substance. I was wrong. This show (directed by Joe Mantello) with the current political climate has more relevance now than ever before. Wicked is the story of a gifted woman in the fictitious Land of Oz with an unfavorable physical condition (green skin), who is driven to public service, fighting for minority rights against a regime who wants to silence and imprison minority members of its own society. Oh, and the Wizard of Oz (artfully portrayed by PJ Benjamin) is a nasty, slimy, lecherous, lying, snake oil salesman and talentless hack, who rules Oz through manipulation of press and fear mongering. Sound familiar?
Galinda, played by Amanda Jane Cooper had not only great vocal chops, but also added a sympathetic quality to her performance with colorful acting choices adding dimension and depth. She successfully enchanted the audience into loving her and understanding the circumstances that drove her to make the choices she made. She “knows about popular” and shows in her redemption at the end of the show that she can choose to use those powers for good. Perhaps, this is a hope for our political future as well.
Elphaba, played by Mariand Torres, was a strong and formidable force on stage.  She demonstrates vulnerability with a touch of humor in the party scene when dancing, and is quite endearing as she accepts Galinda’s help to be popular. She clearly sets up that the problem is with how society relates to her rather than the lack of effort on her part. Throughout the show Torres successfully adds self-deprecating humor which makes her that much more likable. She is endearing and lovable in intimate moments and her voice mourns in “I’m Not That Girl“. But it is in the power ballad “Defying Gravity” that I cried the ugly cry as Hazel gripped my arm. With tears streaming down my cheeks, I couldn’t help thinking about how hard Mariand has worked all of these years, and it’s so obvious, as it was at that first audition, that she was meant to fly. I know over the years of pounding the pavement that at times she must have felt defeated, that she wasn’t enough of this, or too much of that. She has a voice not of this place and she is never coming down again.
When the curtain came down on Act One, Hazel looked at me with those big brown eyes and said, “I love this. That was amazing.” And I had the pleasure of saying, “and it’s not over yet!”
Act Two was much more plot-centric and I regretted at moments that Hazel had not yet watched The Wizard of Oz, so she missed the assumed knowledge of Dorothy, which meant she missed some funny moments. She also missed some of the references made by the set itself (by Eugene Lee). When the Boq (Jye Frasca) and Fiyaro (Ashley Parker Angel) are changed into Tinman and Scarecrow, it was a tough leap of understanding for my first-grader. I just leaned into her ear and whispered that she had to change them to save them.
I laughed aloud as Elphaba yelled down the hatch at Dorothy. The final glimpse of Elphaba and Fiyero/Scarecrow walking off together was a sweet and satisfying resolution for me, but Hazel had a lot of follow-up questions:
Why does Galinda have to believe Elphaba is dead?
How is it a happy ending if Elphaba has to remain blamed by all of society?
Where did Elphaba and Fiyero go? She is still green, so how could she hide?
And my favorite question, how can she just take off her glasses and still see?
All reasonable questions for her first experience with moral ambiguity. Her first foray into the grey areas of the adult world was an overall exceptional experience and one that I can build on as a parent.
I’m in love with this show; I’m in love with the message it sends and the lesson that there is perhaps wickedness thrust upon good people at times. I fully intend to teach my daughter that doing what is right and being popular are not necessarily the same thing. So, Hazel loved the show. She wants to be Elphaba for Halloween. I couldn’t be happier or prouder as a mom that she wants to be nasty, I mean Wicked.
For #frontmezzjunkies, my editor, Cheryl posted an experiential review of @WICKED_Musical Wicked: A Green Witch Can Be Good, Hazel. By CherylEditor What evokes more childlike wonder than going to the theatre? 
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