Safeword. ft Zhongli + fem!reader
cw/tags: a bit of anxiety/panic attack, bit of dirty talk but it's all praise, bit of nipple play and fingering, safeword use, bondage (tied arms, blindfold) hurt/comfort, aftercare, just reader in general dealing with negative feelings but being comforted PLEASE BE WARNED IF THIS MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. READ THE TAGS.
notes: I literally just woke up and wrote this in a rush in my phone lmao what. Listen my mood jumps between depressed and horny and I've always loved safeword use and aftercare done right, it is very important and intimate. Also who doesn't want Zhongli softly soothing and kissing them? I almost made this gender neutral reader but I ended up being self indulgent so sorry.
Everything felt hot, too hot, but not in a good way. It was... sticky, ah, uncomfortable.
You squirm a little, shifting on your legs until you feel Zhongli's hands slowly caress your skin, making you shiver. His breath fans your neck "Good girl.” He mumbles at your shoulder, and kisses there.
Yes, this was fine. This is what you wanted, to just let go and release that pent up energy.
Right?
"Hmm... you've been so stressed lately, darling, haven't you?" His strong hands start massaging and kneading at your shoulders and you groan, it feels pretty good.
Until one of his palms lowers to your chest and starts playing with one of your nipples and you hiss. It hardens under his attention, sure, but feels... odd, it kind of hurts.
You shift again awkwardly, and the rope holding your wrists together digs into your skin.
You don't know what's wrong but something is. You don't feel the same lightheadedness as usual, in fact you're hyperaware, parted lips panting but the pressure is not on your lower belly, it’s at your chest instead. It feels cold, empty, oppressive.
Your hands clench into fists and you whimper.
Zhongli kisses around your chest down to your navel and that feels good too, tender, loving. His voice soothes you, even though you feel oddly disconnected.
"You look so beautiful my dear, laid out like this."
Did you really? The anxiety starts gnawing at you, body tense. Your mind is far away, going over some dumb mistake you made some days ago, some stupid thing you said last week...
You've been so frustrated lately, feeling sad, and angry, and disappointed and-
Zhongli's thumb circles over your clit and you gasp and keen, hips jerking on reflex.
Oh. That felt good, but-
But then why did you feel so wrong?
"Z-Zhongli." You hiccup. Voice wobbly, you feel your eyes start to water. What is wrong with you? You're suffocating. Choked up. Sweaty and awkward and-
His fingers dip inside you and you clench on them, crying out.
"Fuck... Y/N you're so tight." He rasps.
It's too much, you can't, you can't-
"Hng r-red. Red!"
In an instant you feel the mattress dip and shift with his weight as Zhongli quickly takes off your blindfold, and just like that the damn breaks. You start crying and hyperventilating as he curses and immediately frees your hands.
"Y/N, my love, are you alright? I'm so sorry." He starts, and though his voice is leveled as ever you can feel the slight stutter of panic. "It's alright, everything is okay, I'm sorry."
You shake your head, crying into your hands, you want to tell him it's not him. It's never him. But words fail you, you breath stutters.
You know he won't touch you without explicit permission, so you lean into him, your smaller frame trembling as you press closer to his chest. You need this. You need him.
"May I embrace you darling?" You nod frantically and feel his arms curl around you just so slightly, as to not make you feel trapped. One of his hands sweeps your hair over your shoulder and starts rubbing circles on your back, soft. "Is this alright?" He asks.
You nod and try to find your voice again "S-sorry. Sorry... don't k-know... wh-what's wrong."
Zhongli shushes you gently. "Please my love breathe, focus on calming down, slowly. It's ok. Just breathe. I'm so glad you used your safeword. You did well."
You placed a hand at your chest feeling your fast paced heartbeat and trying to calm down a little, regulating your breathing, leaning onto his comfortable touch and words.
You made Zhongli worry, you panicked out of nowhere and still don't know why, you feel dumb, needy, annoying. "S-sorry I'm-" You sob. "Don't know what's wrong...” You repeat unable to find words to express that creeping cold numb feeling that took hold you. “Please d-don't be upset." You add quietly.
You hear him sigh, his hand never stopping tracing soft shapes on your skin. "May I kiss you?" He asked instead and you gave a weak nod. Zhongli planted a soft kiss on your hair, on your forehead. "My dear, I would never be upset. I love you. I'd never wish to make you uncomfortable, I'm sorry I didn't notice in time." Zhongli sighs again, heavy. "But right now, I need you to calm down, you don't have to explain or apologize at all, what matters is that you're safe, and I'm here for you for anything you need."
Your eyes flutter close and minutes pass by while he holds you, whispering sweet nothings, your breathing calming down to a steady rhythm. You place a small fleeting kiss against his shoulder and he replied by nuzzling at the top of your head. After a while, you shift and look up at him, red puffy eyes staring at his beautiful cor lapis ones.
"Better?" He asks, swiping his thumb over your cheek tenderly. You nod. "Would you like to eat something? Or I can prepare a bath for you?"
Oh he's so doting, your heart flutters. "Zhongli I'm- I'm sorry I didn't want to make you worry." You can see he's holding back from objecting again but lets you continue. "It's just... I've been so stressed lately and I thought, if we... played... I could let out all that. I-It did feel good! But then it was just... too much. I don't know." You avert your gaze. “It wasn’t you I promise, I just got overwhelmed and everything felt… wrong.”
Zhongli caresses your cheek with his knuckles softly "As I said, you have nothing to apologize for dear, and I'm glad you spoke up. I'd be happy to offer you whatever support you want and take care of you. You're beautiful, hardworking, strong, kind, and I love you."
You feel your cheeks heat slightly and let out a small smile. You're truly literally blessed to have him. "C-Can I... take you up on that bath offer?"
He chuckles, and it's so refreshing. "Of course." He kisses you again and you nuzzle into his touch this time.
"I love you too, Zhongli. Thank you."
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Ride 764: Dearest wish
Pag 1
1: The one thing the third year Onoda Sakamichi desires is....?
Pag 2
3: His dearest wish!!
4: Right!!
Pag 3
1: That's definitely Onoda's dearest wish
Pag 4
2: Do your beest
They're so fast!
They move the wind
The jerseys are so brightly colored
3: No no no no
4: That- that's not it
That's not-
Is Sohoku arguing over something!?
Pag 5
1: That- that was just the spur of the moment
I ended up just saying anything
2: That's not my dearest wish at all....
So- uhm
3: Please forget about it, everyone!!
4: No way!!
Yeah
Teh!!
Yep
Yeah
Pag 6
1: That must be our goal this year!! Our third victory in a row!!
Pag 7
1: Yessir!!
On!!
Yeah!!
2: The three day long stage is harsh and long, that's why everyone's strengths will be necessary!!
Yessir!!
3: If we can all unite our strengths and support each other as one...
4: The I'll be able to win brilliantly!! Yeah!!
Just like I did during the prefectural qualification!!
Ohhhh
Tch
Pag 8
1: I'll sprint desperately, Hotshot-san will accompany me, and I'll do a grand finishing dash, just like that day!!
Okay!! You've been saying it over and over again!!
2: You're really a guy who clings to the glory of the past
The prefectural qualification is connected to the Inter High, it's not in the past!!
You're the type of guy I hate the most when you get carried away
Naruko-san was amazing, teh!!
That day, yeah!!
Naruko-san!!
3: Sto-stop iit, you were both amazing that day
4: Come oon... we're in the middle of an important meeting
6: Now that I think about it
Onoda-san's....
7: This is all
Pag 9
1: Can I say one last thing?
2: I also think our goal must be a third consecutive victory
3: There's just one thing I'm curious about we still haven't asked
Onoda-san
5: What's your goal this year?
What are you running in the Inter High for?
6: When I asked you this last year during the first years' race
Pag 10
1: I want to report it
2: You said you wanted to report the victory to your senpai
3: And you
4: Accomplished that
5: Honestly, when I first heard that I thought “what is he talking about, that's such a small goal”
But that day, after the race, when I saw Onoda-san doing it
6: I was shaking
I thought from the bottom of my heart that it was amazing
Pag 11
1: I thought you were super cool
5: Wh- no no
That- I was just reporting, there's nothing cool about it at all, okay
Pag 12
1: So I want to know what your goal is this year
Please tell us what you're thinking about!!
2: Is it “I want to report to that senpai once again”!?
4: Crowning your third victory in a row as the captain!?
6: Is it the mountain's bib!? Is it winning a stage!?
Please tell us... your goal during the race...
7: or maybe for when the race is over!!
8: A.....
9: No no no
It's nothing- yes, it's nothing!!
Pag 13
1: Onoda's goal....
2: I see, what Onoda-kun wants to do....
3: Now that I think about it....
4: What is it!? You started saying it now, “a”!!
Is it “running as an assist”!?
5: Does it mean you don't want to bear the last heavy burden!?
No no no no, that's fine, if the situation calls for it I'll do my best
6: That's enough, Issa
7: There are things Onoda-san doesn't want to say too
No, if it can become motivation for the team then he should say it
Pag 14
1: Onoda-san's goal!!
2: But still, Issa!!
I'm telling you, anything is fine!!
Ah, uhm...
3: It's a really personal thing, so.... don't get your hopes up...
But.... that's... always been.... my dearest wish...
4: Dearest wish!!
5: If we run with all we have in this Inter High.... putting together all of our strengths and deliver our jersey to the finish line
6: If we get the best result....
Pag 15
1: No no, I really can't say more than this
3: Say it, everything's fine. I'm curious too
4: Ah.... if we get the best results.... I....
5: I want to reserve a room somewhere...
6: A room?
8: Prepare teacakes
9: Cakes!?
10: Ask for everyone's cooperation...
Pag 16
1: Gather five people
5: It's something I've been imagining.... since before... entering school in my first year.....
7: Even just for one day
8: Even just a few hours after school
Everyone will bring what they like
9: A.....
Oi.... don't tell me you mean.... you
Pag 17
1: I'm thinking of reviving the anime research club!!
Pag 18
5: No way!!
Pag 19
1: And then, there
2: I think I could call Makishima-san, who likes figures
I feel like you've misunderstood something here
3: And Midosuji-kun who likes anime
Would you be able to hold a conversation with him!?
4: Isn't that good!! The best goal!!
5: You'll gather five people in no time!!
6: Kakaka mine will be the first name you write down
7: Amazing
From England and Kyoto....!!
Pag 20
1: I don't really get it, but somehow that fired me up!!
2: That's Onoda-san's dearest wish!!
3: Ah
4: N-no, it's really nothing much, so I take it back...
Revive the anime club!!
Let's do it, for Onoda-san!!
I don't really know what an anime club does, but I'm in!!
Me too!!
5: Yeeah!!
Let's do it!!
Issa, calm down
Pag 21
2: Your goal is to “revive the anime research club even for just day”?
Oi oi, that's such a small
3: but splendid goal!!
4: You managed to unite the club's intentions as one with such bizarre words!!
5: You're really are an unpredictable guy!!
The plate will soon become green
“Real start”.... the real race will start!!
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