#witches abroad

[quasi-normalcy]

Sometimes I think about how Esme Weatherwax desperately wanted to be the evil twin, but the logic of narrative causality constrained her to be good after Lilly turned evil.

[muppetebbtide]

discworld dashboard simulator

❓ ankhmorporkpolls

🧙🏻 blackalisstan

This is like that tsortian guy who had to pick between goddesses and started a war and then died. Or like paying the assassin's guild to kill you

🔪 treefroghousealumni follow

*inhume

🧙🏻 blackalisstan

piss off you posh knob

🍴 priestessofanoia

tbf I don't think the watch is wasting its time on this blue hellsite so ur probably safe there. the POSTMASTER however...

#sometimes I think only bloody stupid johnson could have come up with this fucking site

10,435 notes

🪻watchofficial follow

ALL'S WELL!

🍴 priestessofanoia

nvm lmao 😭

47 notes

☕ klatchmeifyoucan follow

.

#ppl on here are actually sooooo ankh morpork centric it's insane #'EVERYONE knows webblethorpe the unconscious' who??? why the fuck should I??? #like HELLO there's other places on the disc? #and klatch is NICER like omg

4 notes

unseenuniconfessions reblogged:

🦧 unseenuniversitylibrary

Ook

#SO TRUE KING

100,034 notes

Anonymous asked:

Is lord vetinari gay

🪄ramtopswitches answered:

Why would you ask us, a ramtops witches blog, this

50,432 notes

🔮 uucompetitiveeatingchamp follow

CALLOUT: @ /spanglersal (deactivated)

• started a Kickstarter to crowdfund a click of Captain Vimes & Errol then disappeared with the money and has gone completely ghost on everyone

• apparently stole over 100k

• cringe

Read More

2000 notes

Anonymous asked:

Blessings be upon this askbox

🌷queen-of-lancre answered:

I don't know if this is nanny pretending to be granny, or if it's actually granny, and I think I'm too scared to find out

435 notes

cmot-dibbler-enterprises sponsored

SAUSAGES INNA BUN ‼️‼️‼️‼️🌭🌭🌭🌭

🏚️ throwingshades

Gonna go skating on the frozen river ankh!!

💀 nojusticejustus

HAVE FUN

🏚️ throwingshades

Thanks man!

34 notes

✉️ ampostofficeofficial follow

🐸 bursaaaaaaaaar

is. is the post office posting crab rave bc reacher gilt just turned up dead

7013 notes

🧳 agateantravels follow

The Crumley's Hogswatch grotto is being advertised again but somehow I just don't think they can top last year's... like idk where they got the budget from but the real pigs?? CRAZY. my little sister asked for a pony and there was just one in the house when we got back like?? My mum was PISSED but yes talk abt Hogswatch magic. Still wonder how they pulled it off

345 notes

💖 angelofmusic

It's literally SO unfunny to be making jokes about the Opera Ghost when you all KNOW I saw so many of my friends DIE last year??? I literally have so much PTSD from it... like it's so insensitive you're all actually the WORST

#vent #don't rb #some of you will say ANYTHING for a cheap laugh :(

5 notes

🐊 genuablogging

My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “narrative causality” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit.

5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw the Duc turn into a frog

My buddy Mrs Pleasant, pacing: Lilith de Tempscire is lying to us

456 notes

[puttingthebiinmorbid]

Rip Nanny Ogg you would have loved the song Rasputin

[cosmicrhetoric]

reading this at 13....a bit life changing

[thestuffedalligator]

OO. Oo, okay. Pitch: Moist was one of the cardsharps on the riverboat in Witches Abroad.

He’s still young, still trying to con his way across the world, still seeking old masters to train under. Mister Frank says that the trick, the real trick, is mechanical gadgetry — a mirror, a marked deck, a spring-loaded card holder in his sleeve. And it’s good money for a couple of weeks.

And then there’s the old woman, who breaks the mirror, swaps out the marked deck, and — although she definitely never touches the man — snaps the card holder.

By the time she’s racked up 40 dollars, Moist has lost all interest in the game. He’s watching the old woman like a student studying the work of a master painter, listening to every tuneless hum and every squeaky twist of pinky in ear.

The old bird is a pro.

She wins 55 dollars and a broom, and is out of the room like a shot as soon as she has the winnings in hand. Moist follows right after her; outside of the saloon, she’s talking to two other women, one squat with a face like a dried apple and the other lean with hair like a hay bale after a gale.

She flatly refuses to take him on as an apprentice, but does give him one piece of advice:

“There’s no trick,” she says. “It’s all about headology.”

[ijustkindalikebooks]

“People think that stories are shaped by people. In fact, it's the other way around.” ― Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad.

[shin-slayer]

Some outfits for Magrat throughout the different books in the series

[aeshnacyanea2000]

‘Blessings be on this house,’ Granny said, perfunctorily. It was always a good opening remark for a witch. It concentrated people’s minds on what other things might be on this house, and reminded them about any fresh cakes, newly-baked bread or bundles of useful old clothing that might have temporarily escaped their minds.

Terry Pratchett - Witches Abroad

[theshepherdscrown]

Every trade, every craft had its hat. That’s why kings had hats. Take the crown off a king and all you had was someone good at having a weak chin and waving to people. Hats had power. Hats were important.

Witches Abroad, Terry Pratchett

[pourablecat]

Surely I can trick myself into using a small pen size if I do one of these ridiculous zoom-out evolution drawings?

[words-like-sea-glass]

She hated everything that predestined people, that fooled them, that made them slightly less than human.

-- Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad

[pratchettquotes]

"It's daft, locking us up," said Nanny. "I'd have had us killed."

"That's because you're basically good," said Magrat. "The good are innocent and create justice. The bad are guilty, which is why they invent mercy."

"No, I know why she's done this," said Granny darkly. "It's so's we'll know we've lost."

"But she said we'd escape," said Magrat. "I don't understand. She must know the good ones always win in the end?"

"Only in stories," said Granny, examining the door hinges. "And she thinks she's in charge of the stories. She bends them around herself. She thinks she's the good one."

Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad

[theygotlost]

the witches abroad stuff i mentioned forever ago 👍

[avoidtheswirl]

[puttingthebiinmorbid]

I think if all those Edgar Allan Poe characters who got buried alive had just hung a sign around their neck that said “I ATEN’T DEAD” all their problems would have been solved smh

[thestuffedalligator]

“It's the way the grapes hang over your ear,” said Nanny, encouragingly. “You know, that's a hat of authority if ever I saw one.”