#with his dumb ass converse

[gothoffspring]

step 1: Riley invites Monica over to impress her with his poker skills

step 2: Riley plays footsie with Monica the entire time, distracting himself and causing him to lose miserably

??????

step 3: profit (for Monica at least)

[angelxd-3303]

Idk who needs to hear this, but just because things are better than they were doesn't mean you're obligated to be completely ok.

Tw for swearing, mention of trauma, and traumatic responses. Also for Mario and DK being idiots together.

--------------------------------------------------

DK probably should have remembered that it was the rainy season in the jungle kingdom. Then again, a certain red-clad human had a way of making Donkey Kong forget everything but him. He and Mario had gone out into the forest, chasing one another back and forth through the thick foliage. All had been going well, both parties were laughing and joking around, and Mario looked so much more relaxed than he used to. Peach had done wonders for his anxiety, but DK took great pride in the fact that he could make Mario truly forget his inner demons and embrace his inner child instead.

The first few drops of rain, however, had DK skidding to a halt. Mario, who was chasing him, launched himself against the ape with a triumphant laugh. A laugh that died down as DK cursed under his breath.

"What's wrong?" Mario inquired, instantly tensing up. That was one thing DK despised, how no matter how relaxed Mario was, the slightest hint of something amiss would send him into an internal panic. The muscles on his comparatively small body would lock up, and those sky blue eyes would instantly be darting around their surroundings, desperate to find the danger. 

DK felt Mario grip his fur tighter, and the ape took a deep breath. He had to stay calm, but this was really bad. They were too far from the city to make it before the rain, and there were no caves in sight. He shifted Mario to ride him piggyback style.

"Ok, hold on. Don't let go, no matter what, alright?" Mario nodded, although he'd begun to tremble. There was a rumble of thunder from above, and DK scrambled to the nearest tree. Huffing, the ape grabbed onto the vines that encircled the trunk, using them to hoist himself up towards the canopy. They made it almost halfway when the sky finally burst.

There was a loud cursing from DK, and a terrified yelp from Mario as the downpour suddenly bore down on them. Shaking the rain from his eyes, Donkey Kong continued his climb up the tree. There was a frightened whimper from behind him, and DK realized with horror that Mario's grip was failing. The human struggled to hold on as the rain beat down on him, and the increasingly soaked fur wasn't doing him any favors. Desperate, DK scrambled onto the first branch he saw, making it onto the partially shielded surface just as Mario's hands began to slip. Both of them panted, DK with exertion and Mario with terror. Mario scooted backwards so his back was braced against the tree trunk. 

DK shuddered, shaking like a dog to rid his fur of water. Afterwards, he crept closer to his human. He stopped, however, at the panicked gasping that escaped Mario. Scarred hands were pulling at his hair, and Mario was literally fighting for breath. DK sighed, nudging his foot gently.

"Hey." He whispered, drawing Mario's attention. God, that terrified expression was one DK never got used to. Mario was usually such a smug little bastard; seeing him so vulnerable and frightened made DK want to scoop him up and hide him away from the world to protect him. He wondered for a moment if Bowser often felt the same way about Luigi. 

Shaking the thought, DK held out his hand. Wordlessly, Mario raised his own, placing it against the much larger one. Mario's hand barely encompassed DK's palm. It was something they often did to calm Mario down. When asked about it, Mario had said that it reminded him of how much bigger and stronger DK was than anything that would want to hurt him, and that the hulking ape was there to protect him.

Mario sucked in a breath, slowly exhaling as his shoulders relaxed. Afterwards, he gave DK a frazzled half-smile.

"Wow…" Was all he said. DK chuckled.

"Yup. Wow." All was silent for a few moments as Mario shook the residual anxiety. As the silence grew between them, DK's attention was drawn to the long scar that curved along Mario's jaw. He hated looking at it, but now that it had his attention he couldn't look away. At his sobered expression, Mario gave him an inquisitive look. DK had a lot of things he wanted to say about that scar, but didn't know how. Especially considering the fact that Mario was surprisingly touchy with regards to his past. 

"I…I wish I'd been there." 

"What do you mean?" Mario asked. DK sighed. Better now than never.

"When you…y'know…were younger." Mario's eyes lit up with understanding, and he sighed, long and weary.

"Ehh, there's nothing you could've done." DK frowned at this.

"Of course I could've! I would've kept you and your bro from getting hurt, I'd've kept ya safe, made sure no one ever hurt you!" Mario offered a sad smile, shaking his head.

"Donkey, no. What's done is done, the past doesn't matter anymore." DK actually growled at that, punching the branch they sat on angrily. Mario jumped back, yelping softly as his arms came up to shield his face. Filled with guilt, DK moved closer.

"Hey, hey, I'm sorry." He took Mario's clenched fists in his hands, pulling them down to press his forehead against Mario's. The panicked breathing slowed a bit.

"Look, I'm sorry. I don't mean to blow up. I just-GAH!" He pulled Mario closer, and the human instantly melted in his arms. Feeling Mario bury his face in the still damp fur of his neck brought a sense of calm that nothing else did. 

"It just pisses me off that anyone thought it was ok to hurt you. I love ya to death, Mario, but do you have any idea how hard it is to look at you some days? To see that ugly-ass scar and know that I coulda kept it from happening? It just makes me feel…" He searched for the right word.

"Helpless." It was a feeling Donkey Kong was entirely unprepared for. A feeling he absolutely hated. Mario sighed again, a tired sound that made DK's chest tighten. The rain poured down around them, a steady din that seemed to drown out everything else. Finally, Mario spoke.

"I've just…I've just been telling myself that the past doesn't matter anymore, because Lu and I are in a better place now." He ran his fingers through the drying fur on DK's arm.

"But…the truth is…I think it's still hurting me. I still can't sleep through the night, I can only eat a little bit before I start to feel anxious, every little thing scares me…I just…" He hid his face in DK's fur, chest heaving.

"I'm just tired of always hurting. I'm trying to be better, I really am!" He looked up at DK pleadingly, as if he had to convince the ape of his words. As if Donkey Kong would ever doubt that he was trying. Large tears streamed down, and DK wordlessly pulled him impossibly closer.

"I know." The ape whispered. "I know."

Mario clung to Donkey Kong tightly, not caring that they were both still soaked from the rain.

"I just feel so bad, because things are better now! Things are so much better now, so why am I not better?!" 

"Because you went through shit, ok? People let you down your whole life, you can't expect yourself to be totally fine! You're still healing, ok? Cut yourself some slack, dumbass!" Mario gave a wet chuckle. 

"I'm sorry I didn't realize how much it hurt you. I can probably get, like, some kind of concealer to hide it or something." DK pulled back, giving Mario an unimpressed look.

"You wanna use makeup. Just to make me feel better." Confused, Mario nodded. DK facepalmed, shaking his head. 

"Good grief, who gives a shit?! There you are again, trying to make everyone else happy instead of yourself! Ya gotta stop this habit, Rio. Quit caring so much about what everyone else thinks. Yeah, it hurts me to look at it, but I care more about what's goin' on in here." He pressed a finger to Mario's forehead.

"You have the right to heal." Sky blue eyes stared up at him, as if the thought had never crossed his mind. 

"I know I can't go back in time and save you and your bro, but I can make a difference now. I can keep you safe now. I can give you so much fucking love, you'll drown in it!" He rubbed his cheek against Mario's, relishing the laughter it pulled from his human.

"You're gonna be ok. It'll take time, but you will be ok. Besides, I'll kill anyone who tries to hurt ya." Mario rested his head against Donkey Kong, chuckling at the declaration. 

"Yeah. I'll be ok."

Later, the rain would stop. The couple would make their way back to the city, discovering a frantic search party that had gone out to find them. Cranky Kong would scold them for being out in the downpour, tugging at DK's ear and smacking Mario's arm with his cane. They'd go back to DK's place, Mario changing and leaving his drenched clothes hanging on the porch railing, and they'd soak in the sun together until dinnertime.

For now?

For now, they sat in a much more comfortable silence, Mario cradled in DK's arms as the rain fell around them. The rest of the world didn't matter in that moment, because they had each other and knew.

It would be ok.

[marxism-transgenderism]

..

[pr]

waiting for the shawn mendes response tweet like

[furby-organist]

// I think Alexa met his kewpie Leal when them & Valera were hollering about forklift certification and idk what prompted this but Alexa threatened to seduce/bone Valera's forklift

[stunfiskz]

we started reading grendel in ap lit and i literally feel like the illiterate ogre post

[genderfluid-druid]

do you ever somehow match with like. the HOTTEST person you have ever seen in your life on a dating app. and look down at your little gremlin hands which now each feel roughly the size of Pluto. and just go. What do I do with these.

[milubrique]

it's my friend's birthday soon he kinda ghosted me on discord so we haven't talked in *checks calendar* like a year should i just congratulate him on tumblr

[princemick]

god my brother is so impressively fucking capable of ruining my mood

[carneflower13]

my grandpa when we start talking about anything that has no relation to him whatsoever at the dinner table

[lilithland]

imagine you move to somewhere in the south, lots of open land between houses and lots of friendly neighbors

one of your older neighbors, who could be your fathers age stops by one day dropping off treats, maybe it’s drinks you don’t realized are spiked, maybe it’s some brownies laced with weed, you’re just too dumb, too naive to question his motives

you’re just about to go out into town, dressed in the shortest skirt you can find, basically a belt, no panties of course

you have a top on so low that your nipples are nearly popping out, they’re hard from the cold so everyone can see them anyway

before you head out you munch on the treats your neighbor brought, you find yourself feeling fuzzy and light

you stumble out of the house, heels clicking and feet wobbely, you only make it as far as your old neighbors porch

he’s on a rocking chair, sipping away at a beer

“oh princess, what’s wrong?”

“i feel funny” you manage to get out through hiccups and giggles, far too gone by that point

he manhandles you into his lap, not that you’re resisting

he turns you around so you’re both facing the street, he doesn’t have to even try to hike your skirt up, your pussy is on display for anyone who walks by, he pulls your top down so your tits are also out in the open

he start to finger your tight little hole, you start to moan like a bitch in heat, throwing your head back, you’re far too gone to say no to anything that’s happening

without warning your neighbor starts to fuck his beer bottle in and out of your dripping cunt, you think you hear some other neighbors approach, the man striking up a conversation that you can’t hear, far too lost in the bottle working its way into your cunt

you start trying to hump the bottle but are cut off by your tits being smacked and then groped

“behave” he snaps

you whimper and whine, not processing a word that’s being said, and continue to try and hump the bottle that has now stilled in your pussy

“aww, is the bitch too dumb to understand. no worries we have all the time to train you to be the perfect little cocksleeve”

the man rips the bottle out of your cunt, when you open your mouth to whine he shoves the bottle down your throat

“clean up your girl juice”

you suck and he starts to finger your ass, you moan around the bottle and clench around nothing

“you know exactly where that’s going princess”

[chuluoyi]

✎ rivals... in love?

- gojo satoru x reader

gojo is in shambles—so suguru might have a crush on you too?

genre: high school!gojo being a menace but pls spare him he just can't take losing, you see... crack, totally jealous!gojo, justice for geto, enemies to lovers, fluff

note: people have been asking for this so this is up next! i'm writing this while listening to bigbang's bang bang bang and fantastic baby so if gojo is a bit unhinged... you know why

a part of gojo's love entries

general masterlist

No way. There is just no way.

Satoru felt his eyes itch and twitch uncomfortably. Despite the opaque black tint of his sunglasses, he could still distinctly see you happily giggling.

“Geto-san, that’s so funny!”

With Suguru. His ride or die. Your massive crush.

Your crisp laughter rang in his ears, scorching his ego and igniting it in flames—that was precisely the reaction he had hoped to receive from you too!

"Aren't they just cute?" Yaga was suddenly beside him with a wistful smile, looking at you and his other student a few feet away. "What do the television say again... a perfect match? In this case, a perfect match made in jujutsu school, then."

And responding to your bubbly self, creating the very picture of perfect match made in jujutsu school indeed, Suguru was every bit as enthusiastic. “Nah, wait until you see this—”

"Perfect match my ass," Satoru grumbled outwardly, rolling his eyes, but he immediately dashed away before his teacher could bonk him in the head for cussing.

It was harmless conversation, or jokes, or whatever. Because Suguru couldn't possibly reciprocate your feelings. His type is women of gravure magazines—Satoru had deemed it as such.

…Right?

At this point, he wasn't in enough denial to say that he didn't like you, because he had made it so clear that he was, in fact, obsessed. He wasn’t shying away from the things he did, which included annoying you constantly, asking you out after school, helping you in missions, and sending you few pick up lines here and there.

And he thought he was certain he could whisk you off your feet. After all, who else could measure up to him and win?

Heh, no one.

(or basically that's just him ignoring the intrusive little voice in his mind that whispered, “Suguru!”)

“So what's with the nice act, huh?” Satoru blew his bangs in a huff as he questioned his best friend with a twinge of dissatisfaction. “Do you like her or something?”

Suguru quirked his eyebrow at him. “What?”

“Don’t play dumb. I have noticed how you two have been joined at the hip lately,” and with deliberate intention to spite his best friend, he made the sourest face as he mockingly recited, “Wait till you see this~”

Instantly realizing what he meant, Suguru burst into a loud snicker. “Come on, Satoru, really? Surely you aren't that petty. We were just chatting—”

“Not that. I know. What I'm asking now is that do you like her or not?”

It wasn't a rare sight to see Satoru with a pout and a frown, and usually he'd humor him. But this time, even Suguru could see that there was something different in the way he asked this. And should he say something that irked him then—

“Heh, so what if I am?”

That's the wrong answer.

Satoru halted abruptly, whipping his head around in sheer shock. "What the heck?"

“She’s a nice junior, kind, easy on the eyes,” Suguru shrugged, flashing him a dauntless smile. “Only a fool would let the chance pass up. Satoru, if you keep dawdling, one of these days, I just might—”

“Wha—hey!? That’s totally foul—!”

“Nah, they do say all is fair in love and war now, isn’t it?”

By a mind-boggling twist of events, apparently his best friend was also a guy after his dream girl. Satoru was irked, challenged, and he would never admit it, but a tiny part of him recoiled because Suguru clearly had an early start and a boost—you favored him first.

This was unexpected, and now he was conjuring up various scenarios of what he should do. He must act fast or else...

Little did he know that Suguru was thoroughly relishing his restlessness.

Everyone around you said that your relationship with Gojo Satoru... is intriguing to say the least. And especially ever since that one botched mission you two went, you also felt there was a shift in your dynamics.

And if by intriguing they mean him constantly blocking your way and invading your space, then yes, it definitely is.

"Okay, okay, but wait, just hear me out!"

You halted your steps and faced him with an annoyed frown. You really had no time for this. You were about to be sent on a mission. "Gojo, really, can't you just—"

"Okay, I know he's dashing, or whatever," he huffed, the last word he said with a hint of disdain. "But hear me out, and I'm sure you'll reconsider."

"Who are you talki—"

"Who else!? Suguru, of course!"

You couldn't possibly arch your eyebrow even higher, and before you could say anything, he somehow took it as his cue to keep going.

“First, he eats curses. Cursed spirits! He eats them like rice balls! Can you imagine just how foul the taste is?”

"Gojo, I don't have the time—"

"Then! Going from that, just imagine kissing him," he stressed, eyeing you intensely as your own eyes felt like popping out by the sheer suggestion. "What if you taste the cursed spirits rice ball?"

"You're unbeliev—"

"Wait! Can you even kiss him? What if his cursed spirits suddenly pop out of him? Are you willing to kiss his little friends—"

"He's your best friend!" you finally interjected, obviously and utterly in shock by his unhinged rambling. "How could you say all of that?"

"No, you're getting me wrong." Satoru's clicked his tongue. "I'm just listing facts why it's better for you not to end up with him."

You barked a dry laugh. "And? Better with you, you mean? That's awfully biased."

"Why yes of course! Self-promo is never bad," he blatantly retorted. "Let me just tell you aallll you need to know about me!"

He audibly cracked his knuckles and puffed out his chest. "You know already, I'm strong. I can protect you well. My cursed technique doesn't involve eating curses, so you don't have to worry about tasting the said curses on my lips."

How could he blurt all of this with that perpetually playful expression? A chuckle escaped you unwittingly and that only spurred him to go on.

"And I'm handsome!" he boldly claimed, pointing at his face with pride. "And obviously I don't need to say this, but I'm filthy rich—"

At that, you burst into hearty laughter, unable to hold it in any longer.

Satoru's eyes sparkled, lit as if someone had just made his day. "All in all, you know what I mean. Everything with me, all of it is going to be fantastic!"

Even you couldn't deny that all of this exchange had been so amusing. Hilariously so. "You're down bad, huh?" you tried to taunt, although it seemed like a burst of snicker. Yet, you were caught off-guard when he said:

"For you?" his little smirk made your insides suddenly all jumbled up. "Yes."

Huh? What is this? Your bravado faltered a bit as your heart did a somersault inside.

It wasn't supposed to thump this hard. You weren't supposed to feel this overwhelming urge to squeal too. And your face wasn't supposed to grow this hot...

Seeing that, Satoru celebrated his little win, a wicked smile on his glistening lips—that somehow looked rather attractive to you now. "How? Thinking twice now, are we?"

But he couldn't believe that after all this, you would still cunningly retort with, "Ha! You wish, Gojo Satoru."

His stunned face was so comical that you chuckled once again. You wanted to rebuff him more, but before you could, Haibara's voice called you from a distance. "Heeey! Let's go! Or we're gonna be late!"

"I suppose that's my cue," you lightly shrugged, and before you left him in a dust, you could've sworn you saw a flicker of brewing tantrum behind those glasses, which brought a smirk on your face. "See ya, try harder, and I might look at your way."

Satoru was at his wit's end as he saw you sauntering away. What more that he could do so that you could be his? To keep your eyes on him and him only?

And yet, little did he know, in that beginning of summer in 2006, even before you realized it yourself, you had already did.

Epilogue

In another corner of the school, eagerly spying on you were...

"Wait! Can you even kiss him? What if his cursed spirits suddenly pop out of him? Are you willing to kiss his little friends—"

"Did he just..." Suguru gaped, utterly in disbelief at what his own best friend said of him. "Did he just say that?"

Shoko let out a satisfied guffaw. "Oh, he definitely did."

"I can't believe he's tarnishing my name over a girl."

"Well, you know very well he could do way worse than that just to get what he wants," she threw him a thin smile, while exhaling a puff of smoke. "And hey, you lose. You gotta pay me."

Suguru turned to her in surprise. "Huh? Oh—oh, darn it. Shoko, can't you be less stingy?"

"Well, whose bright idea was it to pull that stunt on him and bet on whether Gojo would approach her in less than a day?"

-> continue to extended cut !

[sttoru]

·.⌇ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. you leave megumi with your husband so you can make them breakfast. you quickly realise that that might have backfired.

wc. around 1.3k

tags. dad!toji x wife!female reader. fluff. reader gets called ‘mama’ by both toji & megumi. half beta read.

“ow, careful there, brat.”

your husband’s deep voice echoes from within the bathroom. you’ve left megumi in his care this morning so you’d be able to make breakfast in peace. toji was all grumpy about it, since he had to wake up early when he had no work, but eventually agreed to your proposal.

you hum your favorite song while frying eggs. the sizzling in the pan did help avert your attention from toji’s grunts of annoyance somewhere in the distance, though only for a couple seconds. your hear your child’s laughter slip between the noises of aggravation. it piques your interest.

“one more time and i’m putting y’r ass in time out,” toji’s deep voice sounds muffled. he sounds rather serious about whatever is bothering him.

you turn the stove off and walk towards the hallway, standing at the doorframe as you look in the direction of the bathroom. you tilt your head and try your best to pick up on snippets of the conversation between your husband and son.

the sound of bottles dropping on the floor is the first thing that allows you to guess that megumi’s acting up. you know how mischievous your little toddler can get, especially at his age. toji isn’t one to gentle parent his kid—he tries to, of course, but sometimes he can’t help but be a bit rough.

“megumi fushiguro.”

you raise your eyebrows as toji uses your child’s full name. he rarely does, only when he’s really upset or about to lose his marbles. you decide to see what was going on for yourself. you walk towards the bathroom, cleaning your hands against the material of your apron. you knock once before pushing the door open.

you stick your head through the little gap, ready to identify the cause of the commotion. the first thing you notice is the chaos on the floor; bottles, tubes, toothbrushes, and all other kinds of products lay cluttered on the bathroom tiles.

your eyes then land on your husband’s broad and scarred back, “hey, honey. did something hap—”

your voice trails off once toji turns around, revealing the jaw dropping scene. nearly his entire face is covered in loads of shaving cream and even his black hair hasn’t escaped the soft foam.

the bathroom counter is completely wet, and the water runs down the edges in small drops. the culprit of this entire scene is sitting right on that same counter, clapping his dirty hands together that were smeared with toji’s shaving cream.

you blink and walk towards the two. you can’t possibly be mad at the sight, finding toji’s situation more funny than worrisome. You try to act serious and clear your throat, “uh, yeah. so what’s happened here?”

your husband rolls his eyes and nods his head at the little boy in front of him, who’s giggling and kicking his legs. toji tries to wipe the shaving cream from his nose, attempting to get it out of his hair as well, “i tried to be a good dad and include him in my morning routine, that’s what.”

the man clicks his tongue as he now realises how dumb of a mistake that was, “gave him the opportunity to put some shaving foam on my jaw ‘n the brat totally blew it. started attackin’ me with the stuff.”

toji grumbles. he wipes away the foam that got on the mirror afterwards. it’s nearly gotten everywhere. he lightly nudges megumi’s forehead with a scoff, “never again, y’hear? the little shit can’t sit still for even one second.”

that explains the stuff on the floor. you know that megumi could grow bored easily if he isn’t the centre of attention. he’d start doing anything to be the focus of his parents. toji probably didn’t pay him much mind, wanting to get his morning routine over with.

“language, honey.” you sigh and look down at megumi who’s still reaching his messy hands up to his dad.

toji huffs and leans back, not giving the little boy a chance to put more shaving cream on his face. he’s learnt his lesson; kids do not understand it when you tell them to ‘only put a little bit’.

megumi whines and threatens to throw a tantrum. you notice that immediately and try to keep his mind off things by picking him up. you turn on the faucet and try to wash his little hands, “c’mon. give mama your hands.”

the little boy shakes his head furiously, squirming in your embrace in attempt to get away. you sigh and grab his little wrists gently. you lower him to the sink, trying your best to wash away the shaving cream as the first step of solving this grande mess.

“no, mama!” megumi is stubborn as he voices his complains. toji watches from a distance whilst he struggles to clean the overload of shaving cream from his face.

you make the mistake of letting go of your child’s wrists to grab a washcloth. megumi takes his chance and pats his messy hands against your face, leaving you no space to process what he’s doing.

your mind takes a second before you realise what’s happening, “hey! quit it, ‘gumi.”

you try to grab ahold of megumi’s tiny hands again, but they move too fast for you. plus, he’s pretty skilled at avoiding yours. you can feel the foam slowly cover your entire face; from your jaw and cheeks, to your nose and forehead.

it was inevitable at this point.

“toji, do something,” you grunt and struggle to contain the energetic toddler in your arms. you take a peek at your husband and find him grinning at the predicament you’ve gotten yourself in.

toji simply shrugs and enjoys the fact that you’re experiencing exactly what he had experienced just moments ago. seeing you struggle to contain your disobedient child only proves that his parenting skills are not the problem in this situation, your toddler is.

“ye did that to y’rself, mama.” toji hums in amusement. he leans against the wall, the blue towel now loosely hanging off head after he’s given up on getting the foam out of his hair, “now y’know what i’m talkin’ about. he’s a lil’ monster.”

megumi squeals in victory after he’s gotten both his parents covered in shaving cream. you want to say something to your child, but you’re at a loss for words. even now, you cannot bring yourself to be mad at him. he’s just a kid who’s having fun with his parents.

“i made mama pretty! hehe.” megumi grins and encourages you to look in the mirror. he points at your reflection and awaits the words of confirmation. his blue eyes look up at you, nearly sparkling with joy, admiring how pretty he’s made you look with that white foam all over your face.

toji joins in on the fun. he comes to stand behind you, looking at you through the mirror. he snickers, already forgotten about his irritations that occurred in the first place. he nods in approval at megumi’s words, “gotta agree, son. y’r mama looks much prettier like this.”

your husband’s teasing comment adds fuel to the fire. though again, you cannot bring yourself to be upset at the situation.

you look at the reflection in the dirty mirror. you all may appear disheveled due to the foamy mess on your bodies—and yet even at that moment—the only thing you actually manage to see is a happy family of three.

[kitten4sannie]

middle of the night

pairing: boyfriend! san x fem! reader

genre: pure smut

summary: these days, san can never seem to get a good night’s rest, that is, until he’s able to completely unload himself inside his pretty little girlfriend. good thing you‘re laying right next to him.

w.c: 2.1k

warnings: mean dom! san, subby painslut! reader, both of these mfs are nymphos, somno that turns into full blown sex (they have an established agreement and there is strict consent involved), san’s got a big curved cock as per usual, pet names/name calling, praise/degradation, manhandling, tit play, spit, finger sucking, pussy slapping, marking, possessiveness, spanking, vaginal/anal sex also known as the two for one special <3 (psa: never switch from ass to pussy irl btw), rough altered missionary/doggy/back to missionary, san puts reader in a headlock (muahahahah), creampies, squirting, breeding kink, bulge kink, dumbification, brief oral, san eats his own cum out of reader, this is really filthy btw i should be locked up :3c

a/n: i literally can’t stop writing bc of the horneee that is constantly brought upon me against my will 😞 it’s all san’s fault </3 also i realized i’ve only written one fic about somno like two thousand years ago even tho it’s in my top ten kinks so i gotta fix that <3 *screams* i hope you enjoy this as much as i enjoyed coming up with it~

song recs: angel by massive attack - beware by deftones (GRRRRRRRR BARK BARK)

San couldn’t seem to stop tossing and turning in bed, forcing his eyes shut and waiting for one side of his pillow to grow far too hot for comfort, before letting out a frustrated groan and rolling onto his other side, his cheek squished against the feathered pillow. Squinting at the glowing analog clock on the bedside table across from him, San blinked a few times, his eyes getting used to the darkness inside the room. It was already nearing dawn and he still hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep. There had to be some kind of solution.

It was then that you shifted besides him, emitting a soft moan and rolling onto your back, your loose tank top lowered just enough so that one of your tits had popped out of it, creating another obstacle for San to overcome, one that wouldn’t let him fall asleep until he confronted it.

“Fuck,” San whispered to himself, pushing the covers down far enough to confirm his growing problem. With half-closed, tired eyes, your boyfriend watched his cock repeatedly throb upwards against his loose black sweatpants, as if it was begging him to do something, and quick.

Hs thought back to a conversation you had earlier that week, one you brought up after he had just got done fucking you all over the house in every position imaginable. Like many of your sex marathons, it was initiated because of something simple — you being bent over the washing machine to fill it up with a load of detergent, which, of course, led to San filling you up with his own load in every possible area of your house, including the back patio when you tried to water your poor succulents.

“Sannie, you might as well fuck me when I’m asleep too, at this point,” you giggled, running your fingers through San’s soaked hair, admiring the way he looked in between your legs, with his mouth and tongue exploring your leaking, cum-filled cunt.

“You mean that, angel? My dumb slut wants me to fuck her even dumber in her sleep?” he asked in between licks, humming softly as he continued to languidly clean you up after the destruction he caused to your used hole. It was his favorite pastime, besides rearranging your insides and painting them white with his seed, of course.

Moaning at his mean words, you tugged on his hair, rubbing your soaked pussy in his face like you always did. “Yes, I mean it, baby. Now, shut up and clean up your mess.”

Before San knew it, he was hovering over you, your thighs wide open and resting against his own, your loose, nonexistent sleep shorts tossed to the side so that he could eagerly rub his slick cock along your plush folds, his thick, calloused fingers exploring every inch of your heated skin, groping at your soft thighs, your hips and waist, eventually getting distracted by your tits, rolling your tank top up over them until they spilled out into his greedy hands. He squeezed and rolled them around, bringing his drooling mouth down to your chest to drag his hot tongue up and over your tits until they shined with his spit, pinching your puffy nipples in between his teeth until you whined out in your sleep, feeling your arousal leak out onto his pulsing cock when he finally pushed inside.

“Mmn, my angel is such a good little cocksleeve, so fucking wet for me even in her sleep,” San sighed lovingly to himself, sucking one of your tits into his mouth, spitting on it for good measure, before exchanging it for the other, moaning around your soft flesh, his eyes never leaving your pretty flushed face, even though you weren’t even awake to look down at him.

Unable to hold himself back, he began to buck his hips wildly into you like he always ended up doing when your tight, warm cunt sucked him in the way it did, the headboard beginning to bang loudly against the wall behind it. Grunting, San licked up from your spit-laced chest to your neck, sucking and biting into it, leaving his mark on you. “My baby, my sweet girl, you’re mine, all mine, even when you’re dreaming,” he whispered against your slick skin, slowly pulling back when he heard the breathy gasps you were letting out turn into full-blown moans.

“S-sannieee, I’m so full,” you voiced in a sleepy tone, reaching up to rub your tired eyes, studying your boyfriend’s rosy cheeks and lips, the way his drenched hair stuck to his forehead, a few drops of sweat landing on your face, unable to look away from his intensely dark, lust-filled gaze. “Is my pussy making Sannie go crazy?”

A low growl erupted from San’s throat, a vein starting to grow taut against his skin, now that he was pounding into you with abandon, reaching up underneath your thighs to forcibly fold you in half like you were nothing but a doll for him to use. “Your slutty cunt always drives me crazy, princess, so be good and take responsibility, hm?”

Barely able to breath now that you were akin to origami, your brain grew delightfully fuzzy from the lack of oxygen, encouraging the hazy, half-asleep state you were still in and the oversized cock that was being driven relentlessly into your cervix to work in tandem until pleasure overtook your body to the point of orgasm. “Fuck, Sannie, baby, fffuuck, I’m cumming…!”

“Oh, my dirty girl, creaming yourself so soon?” San mused with his lips quirked into a shit-eating grin, his dimples and canine teeth on display. Just as your eyes begin to disappear underneath your fluttering eyelids, San suddenly grabbed you by the chin, reaching down in between your sweaty bodies to smack his hand down roughly against your spasming cunt. “Look at me when you’re squirting on my cock, baby. You know better.”

“S-sannie, it’s so, oh my god–” you cried out, opening your mouth to moan and instead feeling his thumb slide over your tongue, your lips closing around it. You continued to suck on his thumb as he fucked you through your first mind melting orgasm of the night, biting into it when he smacked your cunt again with his free hand.

“Owww, bad girl.” San watched you lick and suck on his thumb with a lecherous smile plastered on his red, sweaty face, rubbing his other thumb roughly into your puffy clit, rolling it in circles until he felt your thighs trembling nonstop against his moving body, suddenly stopping his movements to sheath himself fully inside you, groaning heavily as he flooded your pulsing cunt with his hot load. “Mm, you feel that, princess? I’m pumping all my cum into this slutty womb of yours, so I can get you nice and knocked up for me…You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

Just as he pulled his thumb out of your drooling mouth, you clasped your hands onto his cheeks, looking up at him hearts in your teary eyes, and begging, “Yes, Sannie, I like it, love it so much. Can I have more?”

And there it was. You might’ve been the love of his life and his beautiful angel of a girlfriend, but you were still his personal breeding bitch at the end of the day — and in the middle of this hazy, sleepless night.

“Oh, yeah?” San hummed, slowly pulling out of you and running his fingers through his wet hair, just for it to fall back into his half-lidded eyes, watching as his cum began to flood out of your gaped, fluttering hole. He wanted nothing more than to eat it out of you, his mouth watering at the thought of tasting the warm saltiness mixed with your sweet squirt on his lips, but he still had to pursue his mission of pleasing his baby. “My little slut still hasn’t had enough?”

“No, Sannieee, I need your cock in my other breeding hole. Please?” you whined softly, pouting up at him, hoping you’d get your way now that you were fired up and desperate for him to fill and own as many of your holes as he could before the both of you fell victim to drowsiness.

San closed his eyes to ground himself for a second, not even fully prepared for the filth that you exuded, despite being quite the pervert himself. When he opened his eyes back up, he looked down, his curved cock now painfully stiff and twitching upwards into his heaving abdomen, somewhat winded from how hard he had been fucking you just a moment ago. “Head down, ass up, little slut. Don’t make me ask twice.”

And just like that, you were lying with your head pressed into bed, drooling heavily from both ends, getting saliva onto the arousal stained mattress, your sopping wet cunt pushing out all of San’s load and causing it to drip down your inner thighs, your weak, bruised knees wobbling beneath you, your ass being relentlessly pounded into by your ravenous boyfriend. “Gonna cum, gonna cum–”

Your warning was cut off by a sharp gasp, just as San’s hand collided with the side of your reddened ass, his fingers grabbing into the soft, sensitive flesh until you whimpered pathetically. “You’re such a filthy slut, aren’t you?” he growled between gritted teeth, smacking the other side of your ass and making you cry out before you could answer him properly. He suddenly pulled out of your ass and forced himself back into your cunt, stuffing you completely full, hunching over you so that he could put you in a headlock, loose enough so that you remained conscious, but tight enough so that you could feel deliciously dizzy. “You’re my filthy slut. All mine to fuck raw, to ruin, to breed. Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you whispered hoarsely, opening your mouth up to accept his tongue inside when he closed in on you, feeling breathless once he manipulated your body until you were back underneath him, your legs near your head, his cock so deep inside your cunt that the tip of it created a prominent bulge inside your stomach, one that San was already palming as he began to shudder, his lips, teeth and tongue attacking your neck again to leave more marks, darker ones that you would have to put concealer over before you went to work the following morning. “That’s it, that’s it, cum inside me, San, please, make me yours!”

“You’ve been mine since the beginning, angel, but I’ll make you mine again, and again, and again,” San exhaled onto your lips, wrapping his arms protectively around you, his cock completely sheathed inside you, his tip just about kissing the entrance of your cervix, your bodies so entangled together, neither of you knew where the other began. You gazed into each other’s hazy eyes, moaning into each other’s open mouths, as another seemingly endless flood of thick, hot cum claimed your womb. “I love you so fucking much, it hurts.”

“I love you too, San,” you sighed back, caressing his heated face, your fingers slipping into his hair just as he began to lower himself down, shuddering at the sensation of his lips and teeth making their mark on your chest, abdomen, hips, then gasping when he made his way to your center, his hot tongue slipping inside your pulsing cunt.

Like every time before, San ate his warm load out of you like a starved man, his nose nudging your sensitive clit as he moved his head in an up and down motion, coaxing more of the saltiness onto his tongue, reaching up to rapidly rub your clit just because he could, pleased with the way you began to cry and shake, your warm squirt pouring down his throat. He swallowed it all down with a low, pleased groan, dragging his tongue up and over your used, puffy cunt to collect the last few drops of nectar, before he finally felt tired enough to collapse down onto the bed next to you.

With the last ounce of his strength, he pulled you into his arms, pressing a kiss to your forehead, then to your lips, letting you taste your combined essence. “Bedtime?” San whispered, cradling and rubbing your cheeks with his thumbs, looking at you with a fondness that bordered obsession. He chuckled softly, giving you a dimpled smile. “I promise I won’t wake you up again.”

“You won’t wake me up, but you still might fuck me in my sleep? Huh, nympho?” you teased jokingly, cradling his face back, so close that you breathed in the same air, your eyes never leaving his, despite how heavy your eyelids began to feel. “I need my sleep, you know.”

San was in a similar state, starting to drift off, his hands leaving your face so that he could wrap them protectively around you. “Sorry, baby. I’ll try to be quieter next time,” he murmured, letting out a soft giggle, pressing a kiss to your lips just as his eyes began to close. “Just don’t be mad at me when you wake up with my cock still inside you…”

Leaving a kiss on his nose, your eyes started to close as well, completely relaxing into your boyfriend’s warm embrace. “I’ll be mad if it’s not still inside me.”

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© kitten4sannie, 2024.

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[angelbwrry]

since you want requests!!! Connie’s a fucking hoe, always cheating/ got bitches in his phone. But when y/n do something she gets fucked UPP😩

figures. connie s. 2k.

cw𐙚 cheating, fingering, choking, dirty-talk, squirting, multiple orgasms . . . connie springer is a fucking asshole and you’re stupid. minors shoo!

everyone referred to connie springer as the college campus ‘playboy’. even connie welcomed this label openly and confidently. he wrapped before he tapped, and that was all that mattered. he wasn’t ashamed that he liked to mess around, no harm no foul in his eyes.

the college buzzed with gossip when he’d revealed he had a girlfriend.people thought you were an airhead for dating someone of his status,little did you realize they’d been right.

you’d transferred colleges mid-semester because you found your original one lacked basic principles and adequacy. not to mention the professors seemed to resent their jobs and took it out on the students.

on your first day at the new college, you were completely lost. the campus was enormous, easily twice the size of your old one, with room to spare. despite receiving a layout of the school, you continued to get confused and turned around. your frustration had grew as your social anxiety spiked.

a man came up to help you, surprising you. you couldn’t deny how cute he was—with his athletic build, short sandy buzzcut, pretty smile, and the most enchanting eyes you'd ever seen. they were hazel, a mixture of green and brown speckled with gold.

“you seem a little lost,you must be new?” connie questioned, a warm smile on his face. he’d stood so close that his cologne had been practically smothering.

you’d laughed softly,shifting your book-bag on your shoulder.

“that obvious,huh?"

connie had nudged you playfully with an inked arm and quipped, "just don't see pretty girls like you around here often.”

you had felt your face burn at the compliment, looking down sheepishly at your white-painted toes.

“i’m connie by the way”

you smiled,”y/n”

you wish you could rewind time to this exact moment and warn yourself to run away from connie springer as fast as you can. he had a way of making you feel important, but underneath it all, he was nothing more than a sex addict narcissist.

he’d decided to take the opportunity to talk to you when he saw you standing there with a quizzical look on your face. up close, you were even more beautiful with your curls that smelled like coconut swaying in the wind, smooth skin, two-tone plump lips lined in brown covered by a glossy top coat, soft eyelashes that shaped your eyes beautifully.

connie never intended to date you, but the more he spent time with you, the more his feelings grew. maybe it was the way your nose scrunched when you focused or your laugh that always made him smile. or perhaps it was your radiant smile that could light up a whole room.

after six months of talking and meeting almost daily, connie asked you to be his girlfriend. you said yes without hesitation, which later became your greatest regret.

the first time you realized connie was cheating on you, you’d slapped him right across his stupid fucking face with your ring, leaving blood dripping down his cheek.

“you think you’re slick? unlock the phone cause settings isn’t texting you at three am!” you seethed,you were in your bonnet and robe. you’d been laid up with connie in your dorm when his phone kept vibrating,and to your surprise he had the contact saved under ‘settings’.

the fiery look in your eyes terrified connie who had never been hit by a woman. he unlocked the phone and sat on the bed, simultaneously pulling his shirt over his toned frame.

you laughed and warned, “yeah, you better put your clothes on because you're about to get your dumb ass out of here.”

you looked through his phone and discovered his conversations with numerous girls that he had been hiding from you. he assured you that he hadn’t met with any of them, but you found it hard to trust his words. the sting of betrayal hit you deeply, and you cried into your pillow all night.

the initial three days following the breakup were extremely hard, and crying every ten minutes made it impossible for you to go to classes. missing connie amplified your agony.

connie, naturally, felt awful about hurting you. he tried to find you during his breaks between classes but kept missing you, assuming you were avoiding him. every glance at his scar in the mirror reminded him of his mistake.

you had already eaten half a box of snickers ice cream when your phone pinged.

it was connie.

you blocked his number, but he continued to text you from burner numbers, pestering you until you unblocked him. you foolishly chose to talk to him in his car and found yourself wedged between the headrest and the backseat while connie had rough sex with you.whispering sweet nothings and apologizing. with cunning precision, he prodded into your g-spot with that devil of his while asking you to take him back.

lost in the moment, you nodded your approval with a whiny ‘okay’

despite everything, connie continued to cheat consistently. whenever you saw incriminating messages on his phone or caught him flirting, you'd leave him. he’d then flood your phone with calls until you agreed to meet him, where he would persuade you to take him back.

it was an endless cycle that you couldn't escape. even though you wanted to leave connie and never look back, your love for him remained strong, and he knew it. your friends called you a fool, and they were right—you felt incredibly foolish staying with a man who had proven unfaithful time and time again.

one night during a girls' get-together, sasha, one of your best friends, said, 'treat him the way he treats you. seriously, men cannot handle a taste of their own medicine!” she threw you a knowing look while munching on a handful of Skittles.

“connie’s ego is so damn big y/n.how do you tolerate him? it’s almost suffocating," annie,your other friend budged in.

“yeah,tell me about it,” you responded with a scoff.

three weeks have passed since your last conversation with connie, and you find yourself lying in bed reflecting on sasha's words from the sleepover.

you never imagined conjuring up plans to cheat on your partner, never envisioned dropping to connie's level. an idea suddenly struck you—to send connie a text 'accidentally' inviting another boy over.

you wanna come over eren? me and connie are fighting right now, i could use some dick

eren jaeger was a boy from your english classes, you two had went on a date.you really liked him but you were still in love with connie, so not wanting to lead him on you broke things off after a month.

eren had grew furious as he struggled to comprehend why you kept allowing yourself to get hurt. you two had gotten into an heated argument and you’d stormed out of his car, never to talk to him again.

you pushed eren from your mind. it felt incredible to come at connie like this as you typed out your message. you were pretty sure he was balls deep in some other girl, so you didn’t expect your phone to buzz right away after sending it.

you couldn't deny that it was exciting to provoke connie like that, it felt good giving him a taste of his own medicine. to your surprise, twenty minutes later, he was standing outside, hammering on the door.

you considered opening it as your anxiety grew as you feared he might yank it off its hinges. his constant calls aggravated you and all this while he stood on the other side of the door.

you’d forgotten to turn your ringer off and he could hear the default iphone ringtones as he spammed your phone.

“y/n open this door. i know you're in there,you’re being mad childish.” connie yelled,irritation evident in his tone.

you could barely believe his nerve for calling you childish, which made you scoff aloud.anger now pulsing through you, you yanked open the door ready to retaliate in words but were silenced when his lips collided forcefully with yours.

his kiss was so intense it left your lips feeling immediately tender; unable to control yourself, a whimpered sound left through your lips. his hand wrapped around your throat, other closing the door shut.

with connie's tight grip on you, one hand tangled in your hair and the other wrapped around your neck, you two walked backwards to your bed.

he had a look in his eyes you'd never seen before, and you felt a hungry tingling sensation in your clit for him.

you realized in that moment you were just as toxic as connie. here he was was choking you up, making you wet; his hands spreading your legs and moving your panties aside.

as he slid a finger into your wetness, you let out a pathetic moan.

"are you planning to sleep with jaeger behind my back?" he whispered sinisterly, and you stayed silent. you weren’t about to reveal that it was just a ruse, because his cheating ass deserved to feel exactly what you felt. because he’d make you feel like that for half a year.

“oh now you ain’t got nun to say? watch how i fuck this confession outta you.” connie muttered,his hands cupping your thighs and placing you on the bed.

connie fucked you relentlessly that night, pounding into you with unbelievable speed. you couldn't keep track of how many times you climaxed and squirted, and despite your soreness, connie kept going without concern.

he choked, spanked, and demanded you to take all of him.

all you could was lay there and take it, he’d fucked your mouth,your ass, and now he was back in your quivering pussy.your voice was hoarse from moaning all night and all you could do was whimper and whine as he stroked your pussy.

you couldn't stand the way connie knew your body so well; with one touch, you would become immediately wet. he was aware of every position that made you orgasm fast,aware that if he licked your nipples you’d squirt, and even though you weren’t keen on anal, he made it enjoyable for you.

"whose pussy is this?" connie panted as he drove into you, his thumb tucked in your tight asshole.

"y-yours, connie," you moaned out in joy, tears streaming down your face as the sound of slaps filled the room. your eyes shut tightly, biting back a cry as connie employed a deep thrust.

"am i the only one who can fuck you like this?" he asked, scalp stinging as he forced your head back by your hair.

"yes,” you whimpered.

“good, don’t forget that mamas.”

y/n girllll…you weak in the knees.STAND UP.

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