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#with the text that they were taking turns playing Obi-Wan and Student
tennessoui · 3 years
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hi all of your aus are amazing! pls what happens with divorced!obiwan and the twins?
hey!! sorry this took so long i had to think of an appropriate cliffhanger
this is a continuation of this ficlet and this ficlet, where divorced!obi-wan accidentally acquires a partner and a set of twins.
(2k WHOOPS)
The twins are not, and probably have never been described by anyone except their father, angels. They take to Obi-Wan as well as Obi-Wan takes to them, which is to say that all three of them watch each other suspiciously until one day Luke launches himself off the top of the fridge--how the fuck did he manage to get up there--and Obi-Wan drops his morning toast in a frantic bid to catch him.
After that, Leia and Luke apparently decide he is Another Anakin Who Is Just Around A Lot Less But Is Better At Reading Bedtime Stories and deign to treat him as such.
Obi-Wan decides that he’s going to have a heart attack by the age of fifty. Do all children see a childproof house as a challenge?
It somehow takes both a longer and shorter time to win over Anakin’s favor, mostly because Obi-Wan isn’t sure what the man’s thinking at any given moment. He seems to blow hot and cold depending on how he woke up or how the work day goes. Some days, Obi-Wan comes home from campus and Anakin and the twins have waited to eat until he’s there. Sometimes they’ve eaten and there’s a meal under foil on the stove just for Obi-Wan.
(“I don’t know how you do it,” Obi-Wan tells him one night after the children are put to bed. “I mean, work from home with your job, mind the children, and cook?”
“They made me head of the R&D department a few months ago,” Anakin admits, taking a sip of his second glass of wine. “So I’m doing a lot more checking through other people’s work instead of making my own. It just means I can do that and make something edible--no, really, you just can’t cook, Obi-Wan, I’m not the best either.”
“Do you miss getting to make something other than food?” Obi-Wan asks eventually, giving himself enough time to recover from the sound of the other’s giggles.
Anakin shrugs languidly. “It’s better salary, and I’m the youngest ever in the company to have the position. Means I’ll pay off my student loans quicker, same with my mom’s hospital bills. Doesn’t matter what I want.”
Obi-Wan’s chest hurts and he wants to lean across the gap between their chairs and place his hand on Anakin’s arm, but they don’t know each other like that. It’s only been a month and a half since they moved in. Still. “It always matters what you want,” he insists. “And I think you’re amazing.”
Anakin blushes bright scarlet and takes a huge gulp of wine, and Obi-Wan wonders if this is a throwing-yourself-off-the-fridge break through.)
(It’s not because the next day, Anakin doesn’t say a single word to him, which bothers him more than he’d like to admit.)
(“Am I in the wrong for wanting to get along with my housemate?” Obi-Wan asks Quinlan despairingly during their office hours that he should be using to grade papers. Instead all he can think about is Anakin Skywalker and the goddamn cold shoulder he’s been getting from the man for the past three days.
“Yeah,” Quin says absentmindedly, marking something with a red pen before looking up at Obi-Wan’s outraged intake of breath. “I mean, no. I mean, sorry, Obi, what are we even talking about now? Is it still your hot new roommate with the two kids? Because that’s what we were talking about an hour and a half ago.”
Obi-Wan crosses his arms and leans back in his chair. “I’m just not sure I appreciate--”
“And you said he’s not been hanging around in the living room when you get home? But he’s still leaving you meals in the kitchen? And you’re upset about the free food?”
Obi-Wan is upset at the lack of Anakin’s presence, but he thinks that’s probably not the right thing to say here.
“Maybe he’s just tired?” Quinlan puts down his pen and rests his chin on one of his hands as he looks at Obi-Wan. “From the kids and the job and putting up with your moody ass. C’mon, Obi, what’s really getting you worked up?”
Obi-Wan purses his lips and stares at the desk in front of him, but he had come to Quinlan for help. He should at least be honest about what’s eating at him, even though he knows how silly it will sound when given a voice. “...Satine always waited up for me,” he mutters. “Until she didn’t.”
Quinlan’s quiet for a worryingly large amount of seconds, before he reaches out to pat Obi-Wan gently on the arm. “Oh, Obi,” he says pityingly. “Repeat after me. You cannot make your new roommate your rebound from your thirty year marriage.”
Obi-Wan scoffs. That’s not the problem at all. “That’s not the problem at all,” he says, not defensively in the slightest. “I think I’m just worried about the children not having enough structure in their lives.”
“Right,” Quinlan says, not quite managing to hide the skepticism in his voice. “Then you should talk to him. For the sake of the children.”
Obi-Wan will absolutely not be doing that, but it’s a nice thought.)
The real turning point in Anakin and Obi-Wan’s relationship happens five months after the Skywalkers move in.
Anakin and Obi-Wan are in the living room. Anakin is trying to braid Leia’s hair while Obi-Wan tries to pretend he isn’t watching. From the kitchen, there’s a very, very loud crash and the sound of something shattering.
Both adults leap up from their seats immediately and run to the other room.
Luke is standing in the epi-center of disaster, little face scrunched up like he doesn’t know whether or not to cry. At the sight of his dad and Obi-Wan, he starts to wail, moving forward and reaching for Anakin.
Obi-Wan, who is wearing shoes inside the house (a point of contention between himself and Anakin), grabs Luke roughly and picks him up by the armpits before he can cut his feet on the glass. He hands him over to Anakin to soothe, stepping further into the kitchen to find the dustpan he keeps in one of the pantries.
It’s very obvious what broke, though Obi-Wan can’t for the life of him understand how Luke got ahold of Satine’s heavy cake stand. He can definitely understand how Luke dropped it, as the thing was ridiculously heavy.
It had been one of the only things left in the house that had been Satine’s. She’d left it, and Obi-Wan had been too bitter or petty to point it out to her. Yes, it had been her mother’s. No, keeping it had not made him feel any better. But it’s not like Satine ever baked anything anyway.
Good for Luke, actually, for doing what Obi-Wan never could bring himself to do.
He grabs the broom and dustpan and marches back to the pieces of shattered glass. Anakin has placed Luke on the counter, ostensibly to check to make sure his feet are fine if the boy would ever let go of his father’s neck. Leia is peering around at the mess on the floor.
When Obi-Wan comes back and starts sweeping everything away, she darts forward to pick up a rather sizeable chunk.
“Don’t touch that,” Obi-Wan says sharply, much harsher than he intended. Leia drops it instantly and scurries back to her father, eyes wide and sort of watery. Oh, fuck.
“Hey,” Anakin snaps immediately. “She’s just trying to help and Luke didn’t mean to break--whatever that is.”
Obi-Wan holds up his hand to cut Anakin off. “I’m not mad,” he promises all three of the Skywalkers. And he’s not even lying. He’s really not mad, hasn’t even thought to be mad at this last piece of proof of his relationship with Satine shattering on his kitchen floor. “I just don’t want either of you to cut yourself. Glass like this can be very dangerous and none of you are wearing shoes.”
“Promise?” Luke asks, untucking his red face from Anakin’s neck so he can peer up at Obi-Wan.
“I’m sorry I was a bit rough,” Obi-Wan apologizes, coming over and bending down a bit so he’s on the same level as Luke. “I was just worried about you. Promise.”
Luke sniffles but lets go of Anakin to throw himself at Obi-Wan, apologizing all the way.
“Hush,” Obi-Wan says as Leia scrambles up his leg, vying for his attention. With his hands full of children that aren’t his, he raises his head to look at Anakin who’s watching them with a very strange expression on his face. He tilts his head toward the broom and then down to the kids in his arms. “Come along,” he tells them both. “Leia, I’ll finish your braids if you’d like.”
“Braid my hair too!” Luke demands with a pull on Obi-Wan’s shirt.
Luke’s hair is floppy but awfully short. “I’m sure we can figure something out,” Obi-Wan says generously, leaving the kitchen.
“I suppose I’ll just clean this up then?” Anakin calls sarcastically behind them.
“Thank you, darling,” Obi-Wan responds.
There’s the sound of something else breaking, but it’s not Obi-Wan’s problem at the moment.
(A year later, Anakin mentions something over morning coffee about looking for a new apartment, now that he’s got everything straightened out. “We’ll get out of your hair,” he says, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I’ll look today since it’s my day off.”
Obi-Wan doesn’t want to examine why that idea makes something curl tightly in his stomach, making him feel vaguely nauseous, but it does. On his way out of the house, he unplugs the router, and then after a second of thought, takes it with him just in case.)
(Quinlan laughs his head off when Obi-Wan sheepishly puts the router down on the desk in front of him. “It’s a bad market right now,” Obi-Wan says defensively. “I’m just looking out for him.”
“Obi, I mean this in the best way possible, but there are at least four professors in the psych department that would probably love to do a case study on you.”)
(Two years after the Skywalkers move in, Obi-Wan is running late for a meeting with the head of his department. The man is stepping down, finally retiring, and Obi-Wan thinks that perhaps he’ll be tapped as the new head. It would mean dropping some of his classes, but it would be worth it.
“I made you a breakfast wrap,” Anakin greets him at the door, holding out a paper bag. “It’s got that salsa you like in it.”
The salsa Obi-Wan likes is the mild version of what Anakin and the kids eat, but Anakin treats it as if it’s from another planet entirely.
“Good luck!” he says with a sweet smile, also passing Obi-Wan a travel mug of what’s hopefully fully caffeinated tea. Obviously Obi-Wan needs it. He got perhaps two full hours of sleep last night, tossing and turning and thinking about this meeting and now he’s running late and his tie is crooked and none of his favorite sweater vests were clean.
“Thank you, dear one,” Obi-Wan mumbles, mind somewhere else. If traffic isn’t too bad, he could still be on time.
“Text me how it goes!” Anakin chirps, following Obi-Wan out the door to stand on the front porch with his arms crossed in an attempt to fight off the early winter chill.
“Yes, of course,” Obi-Wan replies, turning around to brush an absent-minded kiss to Anakin’s lips before hurrying to his car. It’s a twenty minute commute. If he gets his preferred parking spot and runs to the department building, he won’t be late at all.
Is that too much to hope for?
He starts the car and pulls out of the driveway, looking back in the rearview mirror to see Anakin standing frozen on the porch. That’s strange, usually the other man can’t stand being out in the cold.
Obi-Wan gets to the first stop-sign out of the neighborhood before he realizes what he’s done. It’s lucky that he’s already slowing down, because he slams on the brakes. Did he--
Did he kiss Anakin? Did he really kiss Anakin as if he does it all the time? As if they were in a relationship?
Oh shit.
Frantically, he pulls out his cellphone from his bag and checks to see if he has any new messages. He doesn’t.
Oh. Shit.
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Clone Wars: Stories of Light and Dark- Book Review
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“Clone Wars: Stories of Light and Dark” Is an anthology of stories narrating some of the arcs of the clone wars from the perspective of the characters. It gives more details and depth to some episodes, as well as giving us information that makes us have a different view of the events.
This is not exactly a review, but mostly my reactions to reading the book. I do recommend it, if you loved the clone wars and want another perspective on some of the arcs this will be a good read. That said, this does contain spoilers for the clone wars.
#1 “Sharing the same Face” -Jason Fry (from the episode “Ambush”)
Okay this was once one of the most light-hearted episodes of the series and now I ended up crying. I did not expect an order 66 reference here. Every time Yoda addresses Dooku is painful. Seeing how Yoda perceives the clones is really heart-warming, but knowing how it all turns out in the end is really sad and during the whole text you are really aware of that. In the show you kind of forget about what’s going to happen for a while, but this text just keeps you thinking about it constantly. It was a good read, I loved it. I found it really interesting knowing Yoda approaches the clones the same way he approached his students at the temple, and knowing what his opinions on the clone army it was a good detail. Loved this one.
Did I care that much about this episode before? No. But watching it right after reading this made me cry for half an hour. (I am a really emotional person, so take this with a grain of salt.)
#2 “Dooku Captured”- Lou Anders (From the episodes “Dooku Captured” and “Gungan General”.
This was a funny read, and the fact that the events are narrated by Dooku Himself made it even more hilarious. It’s supposedly a holorecording Dooku was doing for Sidious, and you can tell by his words that he was so done. Poor Dooku deserves a meditation day after it. You can tell how annoyed he was by the whole situation and his perception of Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi. They really are bothering for the count. I’m surprised he didn’t retire after this event, man’s gotta be really tired. Also, when they were tied together, they just shared a braincell and most of the time, Dooku was the one carrying it. The love he had for Qui-Gon does not extend to rest of the lineage, clearly.
At first it was really slow, but after they get captured by the pirates it just gets funnier. Good story to read after the sadness the previous text gave me.
Also, the fact that Dooku canonically records himself venting to Sidious is hilarious to me. Like, can you imagine being Palpatine and receiving daily vlogs from your apprentice ranting and complaining about Anakin and Obi-Wan? Dude was tired, of course he would let Anakin decapitate him in the end.
#3 “Hostage Crisis”- Preeti Chhibber (from the episode “Hostage Crisis”)
For an Anidala shipper this is a must read, because you will know exactly what Anakin thinks of his wife and how he views Padmé. This text was more Anakin centric (I believe the next one is Padmé centric) and it was a delight. I haven’t read much in canon about stuff that involves Anakin’s feelings so this was really good.
The scene from the beginning of the episode? Is hotter when you read it, trust me. For a clearly SFW text, this was intense. I’m pretty sure I can guess all of Anakin’s kink only by what was implied in his thoughts. Is also really sweet to see how much she cares, but also know why everything went downhill at the end. Good retelling.
#4 “Pursuit of Peace”- Anne Ursu (from the episodes “Heroes on both sides” and “Pursuit of Peace”)
I really love Padmé Amidala. My favorite senator. If you have seen my review of Queen’s Peril you KNOW How much I love her, and even when this text was written by another author, I still got the same feeling about her. Padmé is amazing. This arc is one of my favorite of the Clone wars because it’s the arc that let you see that it wasn’t a black and white kind of situation, both sides were being played. An none of them were really worrying about their people, they were in it for the money. I love reading Padmé’s thoughts on the whole situation. Also, the way this story is written makes what went down with Padmé and Anakin in the third episode make more sense and more in character. She is a strong, good, and smart politician. But she is also motivated to see the light in the dark and preserve the light, it gave me major Qui-Gon from “Master and Apprentice” vibes. It did make me tear up a little, because when I finished it, I realized everything she did was for nothing. She was too kind in a galaxy already so corrupted.
Also, Palpatine stop calling her “my child” you disgusting sith lord, I know you are responsible for her death and so do you, so shut the f up. Padmé was doing everything right and she hasn’t done anything wrong in her life whatsoever.
“Just because there’s darkness in something does not mean you do not love it. You show it love, you show it light, and you hope it chooses the light”.
She was talking about the senate but you just KNOW she isn’t really talking about the senate.
This story re-telling broke me, just as the first one. I am not ready for the next one. Do I have to? Man, I really don’t want to go through Umbara again.
#5 “The Shadow of Umbara” -Yoon Ha Lee (from the episodes "Darkness on Umbara," "The General," "Plan of Dissent," and "Carnage of Krell”)
I was, indeed, not ready for it. It doesn’t really add much to the story… except pain. Rex’s pain, to be precise. Let my man mourn Hardcase :C I just wanted to give him a hug, him and all of the clones to be honest. Fives was as good as always, but re-reading his lines knowing what happens to him made me sad. I hate Pong Krell, get you dirty hands off my babies. I don’t think this re- telling made me sadder, but that’s only because it was just as painful as the episodes.
Dogma my beloved, you deserve everything.
I love how this arc develops Rex character and his attitude towards the war in general.
#6 “Bane’s Story”- Tom Angleberger (from the episodes “Deception”, “Friends and Enemies”, “The Box” and “Crisis on Naboo”.)
Is Cad Bane the Regina George of the Bounty Hunters?
The answer is yes. Yes, he is.
I wasn’t really excited to read about Cad Bane at first, I felt that everything that had to be said about the guy had already been stated in the show. He was just a mean bounty hunter in space. But this was actually pretty funny to read, specially because it’s narrated in first person from Bane’s perspective on what happened with Kenobi. And it’s hilarious.
He is basically re telling the events to Boba and Bossk while he is in jail again. During his story you can learn a few things about him as well, specially what his thoughts are in relation to some important topics. You would think he is only concerned about the money and blasting people, and you would be right. But he also does have an opinion on what’s happening on the galaxy at large, on the jedi, on Palpatine and Dooku. But those opinions don’t affect how he gets the job done. It was really interesting seeing him internally judging Kenobi for being a liar, and knowing something is wrong with the jedi order if they pulled that off. He knows everyone is being deceived, but doesn’t know how. That’s why he doesn’t care, and doesn’t get involved on anything unless you offer to pay him. Money moves him, but not the people who has it.
It was a good story, and I also liked to see how Bane respects Boba and sees him as the one that’s going to take his place eventually.
We know from the deleted episodes that Cad Bane was supposed to be killed by Boba Fett, but we haven’t seen that in canon yet. I really hope they answer what happened to Cad Bane in the current canon, I would love to see that in a comic, or in a book.
#7 “The lost nightsister”- Zoraida Cordova (from the episode “Bounty”)
I love Asajj Ventress for a million reasons and this story just made me love her even more. It’s the same story from the episodes but with an insight of what Ventress is thinking about. Which is unsurprisingly very depressing but the story itself turns out to be pretty uplifting.
It’s about her thoughts on what happened after the massacre of her sisters, her family, and how she deals with everything she had already lost. How lonely and worthless she feels. But during the course of the story, we see her reconnecting with who she is, and learning her value. Learning she is a powerful person, master or not.
It was also really sad to see how she compared herself to others. She was really sad and angry that nobody cared about what happened to her people, no one that cared about her. She saw how people wanted the girl in the box back and thought about how nobody would ever do the same for her and it was sad.
I also find very depressing that she couldn’t mourn her family.
But then she said this:
“What made her so special? What made her worth—No. She couldn’t think that way. This girl’s worth didn’t diminish her own. “
And like, I’m 100% rooting for her here.
Also, I love that once she realized the girl from the box was being smuggled to be essentially a child bride, she didn’t hesitate to scam the old creep. She may be an assassin, but during the course of this story you learn that she is disgusted by men who take advantage of female beings. I also love her internal monologue after the guy was bothering her in the cantina and how she just knows that if she can defend herself, she will do it with no hesitation.
Lovely story, I love knowing more about Ventress. Beautifully written.
#8"Dark Vengeance”-Rebecca Roanhorse (from the episodes "Brothers" and "Revenge")
It’s so on brand for Darth Maul to have his entire story be about Kenobi. It’s narrated by him, but directed towards you, like he is telling the reader a story. That in some stories could be like an awkward thing, but here it was well done. I love Maul and like, I could picture us having that conversation, well, me listening to him monologuing.
I really liked that he started telling the story from the events that happened on Naboo. You get to really see what happened from his perspective and understand why his hatred of Kenobi only grows over time.
Also, Darth Maul was like “I can excuse murder, but I draw the line at being rude”. Which is so morally wrong, but very fitting to his character. He is really upset at Kenobi for not caring about what happened to him. From what I gathered of the info that he let us know, he would probably like it more if Kenobi killed him instead of having to spend all those years in the garbage. Nobody cared for him enough to go and check up on what happened to him. That doesn’t excuse murder though.
The interactions he had with Kenobi let us know that it was not very jedi like the way he treated Maul, ignoring his rage and letting it consume him. Obi-wan just kept adding fuel to the fire because he was also really angry at Maul for the murder of Qui-Gon, not realizing that that would only make Maul be even angrier. And we know how that ended up for Satine Kenobi.
Final thoughts: Savage, I love you.
#9 "Almost a Jedi"-Sarah Beth Durst (from the episode "A Necessary Bond")
I thought this story was going to be from Ahsoka’s point of view. It was not.
I’m not mad at it though.
The story itself does focus on Ahsoka but it’s narrated by Katooni. It’s basically about how much she adores Ahsoka and wants to be like her, but also doubts herself a lot. She thinks she is not good enough to be a jedi. But her experiences both with Ahsoka and with Hondo Ohnaka makes her change her mind.
I want to say that I love the fact that it’s canon that she drew a poster of Ahsoka for her room because she really admired her that much it's so wholesome. It’s cute, and also let us see the perception the younglings had of Ahsoka.
Also, the bond between Hondo and Katooni is really wholesome. This also made me realize that this encounter with a young jedi is the reason he is immediately friendly with Ezra in Rebels. Ezra and Katooni do share similar personality traits sometimes.
Deep diving in Wookiepedia after reading this I found out that Hondo’s ship in Galaxy’s Edge is called “The Katooni” and now I’m sad thinking he was probably devastated when he learnt about Order 66 and what Vader did to the younglings. Great now I’m angsty about a chaotic evil space pirate.
I think it was confirmed by Dave Filoni that those kids are dead now. May the force be with them, they were good enough jedis.
#10 "Kenobi's Shadow"-Greg van Eekhout (from the episode "The Lawless”)
This is the re-telling of one of the saddest clone wars episodes. The episode just lets you think that everything’s going to be alright, that they are going to survive together, lets you hope that they take off just in time… and then it doesn’t happen. I’m still not over Satine’s death. And this made it even sadder. There were so many points their story could’ve gone differently, but their story was already at an end.
This is in third person but heavily focusing on Kenobi’s thoughts along the way. He really was close to turn to the dark side, but his love for Satine and his grief made him not surrender to it. But he felt an anger, a justified one, but an anger that I have never seen in a jedi other than Anakin Skywalker. And we all know what happens to him.
It was a good but sad reading. I won’t be reading this one again. It’s too much. I knew what was going to happen and it still hit me hard. I wish things would’ve gone differently for the both of them. I wonder if we will get flashbacks to this in the Kenobi show.
Also, I really need an Obi-Wan Kenobi and Satine book of their time on the run.
#11 "Bug"-E. Anne Convery (inspired by the episode "Massacre”)
I can’t talk openly about this story because it’s not actually featured on the clone wars. It’s a really good story, specially if you want to expand on the lore regarding Dathomir and the Nightsister in the new canon. It’s perfectly executed, and even when the story isn’t about any of the main characters it hooked me from start to finish. Definitely one of my favorite stories of the book and If I had to pick one story from this anthology to read again it would be this one.
It has more gruesome details than the others and the atmosphere is dark, and I loved it. I would read a whole Dathomirian Nightsister novel written by this author if it was in this exact same style. I really liked it a lot.
In summary, I really enjoyed reading this Anthology. I would really recommend it to anyone who is fond of the Clone Wars or the prequels era. Adults, Kids, Teens, Young adults. I think I would’ve enjoyed this book as a kid as well, and I enjoyed it a lot now in my early twenties. It contains a little bit of everything and that makes it a really complete anthology.
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lankoshine · 3 years
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Star Wars. Far away galaxy forever Khaetskaya Elena Vladimirovna
My preface: I've wanted to post this for a long time. This text literally expresses my attitude to what is happening with my favorite character Anakin Skywalker, and confirms my doubts about the "wisdom" of the Jedi Order (they are not fools, but they are not wise men either). Wisdom should include all aspects and all-round thinking, but at times it "stagnates", "ossifies" and turns into a rotting swamp, in which the light that it should carry is drowning. And as a result, enlightenment turns into extinction and darkness.
Further words of the author:
Jedi: "the era of stagnation"
“The main content of the second trilogy, that is, the prequel, was the story of how Anakin crossed over to the dark side of the Force and how the entire Templar was destroyed ... That is, excuse the reservation: not the Templars, of course. Jedi. All Jedi were destroyed. Except for a few - Obi Wan Kenobi and Teacher Yoda. The first film, The Phantom Menace, portrayed Anakin as a boy; the next two - "The Clone Wars" and "Revenge of the Sith" - a handsome young man.
Anakin's childhood was not that unbearably difficult or completely bleak, but it could have been better. His mother Shmi and he himself (father, by the way, is unknown) were in slavery from the dealer of spare parts Watto, on the familiar "hole of the universe" - the planet Tatooine. Since Anakin from an early age was distinguished by diverse talents (for repairing equipment, for programming), the owner encouraged his studies, and the boy was busy with creativity: he would assemble a racing car from the trash, then he would build a robot and program artificial intelligence for it.
So, by the way, the boy Anakin created, again, the well-known droid C-3PO. Talkative, cowardly, endowed with useless good manners, the bore C-3PO, whom we fell in love with as Luke Skywalker's "funny magic assistant", it turns out that it was once designed by his father. (But then this droid's memory was erased, so he started the "original" trilogy from scratch.)
Naturally, such an outstanding embodiment of the Force as the boy Anakin could not remain unnoticed for long, and soon he was discovered by the Jedi Qui-Gon Jinn, who immediately recognized the Young Anakin as the Chosen One. According to ancient prophecy, the Chosen One must restore balance to the Force (by exterminating the Dark Ones). In any case, the Jedi were obliged to take possession of this promising child.
By and large, it was the Light Jedi who brought Anakin the first real grief. It was they who separated him from his mother when they took him from Tatooine for the sake of a "great future" which, for Anakin himself, remained an empty phrase. The reason why the powerful (and, undoubtedly, not in need of funds) light and noble knights left the boy's mother in slavery and inflicted severe moral and psychological trauma on him remains unknown. You can find some kind of "rational" explanations, for example: a real Jedi must free himself from all earthly attachments - but this does not change the essence of the matter. Which of the nine-year-old Anakin is a "real Jedi"? And why should he suddenly free himself from attachment to his mother? After all, this is the most natural and, in general, the most positive of all emotions - love for mom!
Jedi ideology, presented in different ways from the screen, is constantly bursting at the seams. You can, for example, remember how Obi Wan Kenobi, in the form of a Force ghost, appears to Luke in Return of the Jedi: "You must stop Darth Vader." Luke, a mentally healthy and sensible young man, answers quite logically: "I cannot kill my own father." Then the luminous ghost of Obi Wan sighs and says, “Then everything is lost. You were our last hope."  What happens? That the Jedi were urging Luke to commit an unnatural act - parricide? And they did it right from the focus of the Power! If the earthly, living Obi Wan spoke so, it would be possible to write off such speeches for the usual human ability to make mistakes, to be delusional. But Obi Wan is already a ghost of the Force, so he cannot be wrong. Why is he pushing Luke to the brink of a psychological and moral abyss? Maybe this is the last test? Provocation? Harsh - and risky, especially when Luke remains "the last hope" ...
The Jedi's behavior towards Anakin Skywalker looks much more brutal and far more risky. No matter what they argued, remaining within the framework of naked theorizing, in practice the picture looked monstrous: in fact, they raised a man with their own hands, for whom it was the most natural choice to kill all the Jedi.
Moreover, the viewer, on common sense, comes to the conclusion that Anakin, in general, if he was not completely right, then, in any case, was not greatly mistaken when he chose the Dark Side.
Let's try to trace the path that led Anakin to the dark side.
... Qui-Gon took the boy with him to the planet Coruscant (where the capital of the Galactic Republic was located) and demanded permission from the Jedi Council to teach the Chosen One in all the intricacies of Jedism. By the way, the Jedi Council is very pompous meeting in the spectacular Jedi Temple on the same Coruscant. This temple plays an important role in the history of Anakin and consists of five giant spiers. The largest spire, in the center, serves as a sacred place for contemplation. The other four are the High Council, the Primordial Knowledge Council, the Reconciliation Council, and the Reassignment Council. (This structure alone can judge how complicated, even bureaucratic, everything was arranged in the Jedi world ... somehow not in Zen, to be honest!)
So, the Council did not give permission to train the boy Anakin. There is nothing to spoil the child! First, Anakin is too old to start training. The boy is already at a conscious age, he has significant life experience. It will be difficult to brainwash such a guy. Secondly, Anakin experiences negative emotions - fear and anger. Which is not surprising given his past. (The fact that the attitude of the Jedi to Anakin's life circumstances was the reason for the increase in fear and anger is not taken into account.) Quite conveniently, there was an occasion to regale Anakin (and the audience) with the maxim: “Fear is the way to the dark side. Fear breeds anger; anger breeds hatred; hatred is the key to suffering. I feel a strong fear in you, ”says the wise Master Yoda to Anakin during the Jedi Council.
Yoda is right in essence: fear is the father of many troubles and vices. But how soulless and out of place it all is!
Eventually, the dying Qui-Gon will instruct Obi Wan to train Anakin. Here the Council, albeit reluctantly, agrees. Why?
The most logical thing would be to assume that the Council, though slowly, came to the conclusion: it is much more dangerous to leave such a gifted boy unattended at all than to start his training, despite the "strong fear" and other "shortcomings."
At first glance, the choice of a mentor looks somewhat artificial. Obi Wan Kenobi was considered a very average Jedi, so Anakin kept saving his life along the way. The behavior of Obi Wan himself regularly looks completely reckless (if not "stupid"), and the young student had to "clean up" after the teacher. Although it is postulated that they were friends, Obi Wan constantly nags Anakin and actually humiliates him. Then Anakin, and for the umpteenth time, has to pull the "mentor" out of the next pit.
So was Qui-Gon Jinn wrong about Obi Wan Kenobi? Why did he choose such a weak teacher for such a dangerous young man?
According to one suggestion, Obi Wan was just pretending. But in fact ... Secretly ... Carefully hiding from everyone, he was a mighty Jedi. He just successfully pretended to be a weakling. But then why? Where is the logic?
Or maybe the Jedi reasoned like this: since we could not get rid of the inconvenient Anakin, we will give him a frankly bad mentor so that he does not reach the Jedi heights?
But here - in general, it does not even lurk, but lies on the surface - there is a great danger: surpassing the teacher, the student begins to wise up on his own and in the end it is not known what he will think of (which, in fact, happened). No, a strong student needs a strong teacher, and the Jedi could not help but understand this (otherwise how did they even manage to exist for so long).
It seems to us that the answer is simple: and there was simply no one better.
The Jedi in the prequel are reminiscent of the Politburo of the mature stagnation era. A formal approach, indifference to a particular living being, a complete lack of flexibility, undercover intrigues ... Yoda - and he looks ossified in his great wisdom. Humanity will come to the old Taoist much later, when the Jedi are exterminated. Presumably, then Obi Wan will cover his famous ability not to condemn anyone (you see, he had enough time, living as a hermit on Tatooine, to think over everything that happened and analyze his own behavior first of all).
The Jedi actually used Anakin. And this is very insulting: to understand that you were taken advantage of by those whom you idolized, considered the focus of the Power of Light.
By the way, Obi Wan Kenobi had a flaw with the Jedi Code: Anakin did not understand many of the provisions. And then Chancellor Palpatine appears, who begins to secretly, but consistently and intelligently cultivate the seeds of Darkness in Anakin's soul ...
* * *
So, one of the most important factors in Anakin's transition to the dark side was the lack of trust in mentors. And in this, Anakin was right: such mentors do not deserve any trust. Virtually every prominent member of the Jedi Council had a purpose of their own, and Anakin did not like being a puppet of someone else's interests at all.
One of the most important reasons for Anakin's fall is his forbidden love for Padma Amidala.
It is obvious to Palpatine (as to any sane creature) that one who has loved ones is extremely vulnerable. Therefore, noticing Anakin's attraction to Padmé, Palpatine arranges so that Obi Wan and his student receive a responsible task - to be the beauty's personal guard. And then Palpatine could just relax and wait, allowing events to develop naturally.
The Jedi Council further aided Palpatine's plan by recalling Obi Wan for another assignment. So in the end, a handsome young Anakin, not fully trained, subject to all sorts of passions and weaknesses (the Council is well aware of all this, but for some reason no one, not even Yoda, attaches much importance to this), is left alone with a young beautiful girl ... Of course, this girl is formerly a queen, and now a senator, and Anakin is previously a slave of some dealer in spare parts on a seedy planet, and now a Jedi-dropout and a bodyguard ... But when and who was it stopping?
However, yes. After all, the Jedi explained to the young Skywalker that passionate feelings are absolutely unacceptable. Was there an explanatory conversation? Was! What's more?
Only the "era of stagnation" in the Jedi world can explain such thoughtlessness. Here, what is called the “formal attitude” to the personality, its individual characteristics, and its fate worked in full measure.
Didn't it occur to any of the Jedi that it was more than enough to tell the young boy about the "harmful passions"? In order to achieve true dispassion - not the ability to control oneself after a sleepless night spent in hot fantasies, but real dispassion, when a young girl evokes nothing but warm, brotherly or paternal feelings - years of spiritual exercise are needed. And even then there are breakdowns, because all people are human and nothing human is alien to them.
And then for some reason everyone decided that it was enough for a guy overwhelmed by passions to say: "Don't look at the beautiful Padmé, she is not for you, and in general your destiny is celibacy, because that's how it is for us, the Jedi," and that's it, the job is ready , he will obey. What arrogance!
... But we remember that arrogance is one of the greatest vices in the interpretation of "late Ben", "officer and gentleman" performed by Guinness. The true wisdom of Alec Guinness gave us the answers to all our questions twenty years ago ...
However, let us follow how the Jedi themselves dug their own grave.
Anakin's feeling is passionate; his love is earthly, he longs to possess a girl. In theory, such feelings are a direct route to the dark side. In theory. In fact, they represent a completely natural stage in the emotional and physical development of a young person. Demanding that the young man behave like an eight-hundred-year old man, the Jedi actually expected the impossible from him: that he should distort, mutilate his nature. He, in their opinion, should not improve himself, not investigate and subordinate himself to reason, but simply break.
Anakin had the will to disobey. And in his attraction to Padmé, he is absolutely right.
And then the detonator of Anakin's first earthly affection is triggered: in a dream he sees that his mother is in danger. The Jedi were of no help to Shmi Skywalker. They simply took away from her the only living being that she held dear. Well, yes, she later got married, but how can you forget your son, being apart from him? Of course, she was sad and not completely happy.
And then - the raid of the sand people (the very same Tatooine natives, whom we saw in the "original" trilogy, in "A New Hope"), who captured Shmi as prey. This is what caused Anakin's disturbing dreams - he did not cut ties with his mother. The young man already knows: it is useless to ask the Jedi for help in such an "empty" case as rescuing some kind of Shmi Skywalker on the distant planet Tatooine. Serious adults have more important things to do. Therefore, Anakin simply takes the matter of saving mom into his own hands and flies to Tatooine. True, the Council sends him some orders after him, but this is about mom! And Anakin sends the Council to hell.
Mom still has time to die in the arms of her beloved son. And then Anakin is overcome with hatred. Undoubtedly, this hatred affected everyone who treated his mother so cruelly. Including the Jedi Council. But only sand people were at hand for revenge. And, not remembering himself from grief and rage, Anakin exterminated the entire tribe, including the elderly and children.
It was here that Master Yoda felt the "great outrage of the Force." Mostly caused not by the death of a minor barbarian tribe, but by the rage of a young Skywalker. It's time to actually draw at least some conclusions ...
And Anakin completely lost faith in the Light side. What intriguers they are, liars and mumblers! They didn’t really teach anything, they jerked them with discontent, tortured them with senseless (unrealizable) demands, they forbade saving my mother, they forbade me to love Padme, they forbade me to be a normal person at all - but what in return? Never mind! The sacred right to be a brainless tool in the hands of politicians who do not even consider it necessary to explain something to him.
Then another episode takes place, which can be considered the most important step of Anakin on the path to Darkness. To some extent, the Light Ones are again responsible for this step. We are talking about the operation to free the captured Chancellor Palpatine (then he had not yet revealed his true face - for some reason, even the wise Yoda did not know about anything and did not feel any "disturbances of the Force").
The intrigue was complex, but overall it looked like Chancellor Palpatine was captured by rebels - separatists. Their leader, Count Dooku, seriously wounded Obi Wan Kenobi, after which Anakin had to join the battle, who defeated the count. And then Palpatine gives the order: to decapitate the unarmed, defeated enemy - "he is too dangerous to be left alive!" (recalls, by the way, the requirement of the ghost of old Ben: to destroy Darth Vader).
Anakin, however, freezes in some doubts: somehow not chivalrously ... The enemy is defeated, he surrendered, he is wounded and unarmed ... But Palpatine is the chancellor, Palpatine insists, and Anakin obeys.
Why did Anakin obey an inhuman order that seemed wrong to him? And why on other occasions did he violate the wrong orders of the Council?
Because Anakin didn't trust the Jedi at all. And he did not have a clear idea which orders were correct and which were not, so the young man was forced to be guided by one single criterion: his own opinion. If it was about mom, then the advice is not a decree to him: in any case, mom needs to be saved. When it comes to Padmé, the Council is also not a decree: he loves Padmé. But if we are talking about Count Dooku, who is not related to Anakin at all ... here a hesitant young man who does not have clear moral criteria may obey the order. After all, in the end, he was trained: the Council is always right, obey the orders of your elders!
But the Council, as it turned out, was almost never right ...
* * *
Anakin was still with the Jedi — perhaps by momentum, but most likely — because of Padmé. Anakin eventually entered into a secret marriage with her (witnessed by two droids, our old friends R2-D2 and C-3PO).
Meanwhile, the Council is giving Anakin another reason to part with the Light Side. For starters, the young man is publicly humiliated by refusing to be promoted to the rank of Jedi Master. Moreover, he is ordered to spy on his patron, Palpatine. And this is simply low.
And then Anakin had another ominous dream: as if Padmé had died. He remembered well how the affair ended when he had a similar vision of his mother. Therefore, Anakin is terrified.
He is still trying to find some way out of the situation, remaining on the Light side. It seems that the Jedi temple contains some information that could save Padmé. But access to this part of the archive for him - as for the uninitiated - is closed. And the Jedi refused to raise the young Skywalker to the rank of Jedi, despite the high patronage of Chancellor Palpatine.
Finally, Anakin turns to the wisest of all - to Master Yoda: prophetic visions persistently tell him about the imminent death of a loved one ... what to do, what to do?
In response, Master Yoda burst out with a priceless sermon:
“Death is a natural part of life,” he said in his inimitable florid style. - Rejoice for your loved ones, who have transformed into Power. Do not mourn for them and do not grieve for them. After all, attachment leads to jealousy, and a shadow of greed leads to jealousy. You must let go of everything that you are so afraid of losing. Fear of loss can lead to the Dark Side. "
Oh, how wonderful - for eight hundred years! But it is definitely not feasible when you are barely twenty and the woman you love is facing death. (Subsequently, Yoda tried to advise something similar to Luke, but he stopped in time: it did not work with father, and will not work with his son.)
... And Chancellor Palpatine is right there: he promises to save Padmé if Anakin goes to the dark side. The dark side, according to Palpatine, has the power to conquer death.
By and large, there is nothing holding Anakin on the Light Side anymore. And he becomes a supporter of Palpatine - all, "with giblets."
And then finally the truth is revealed to him: Chancellor Palpatine is the very Sith Lord Darth Sidious, whom the Jedi hunted for a long time and without success.
Once again, Anakin’s moral precariousness is evident, and nothing has convinced him that the Jedi Council can be trusted. Discipline required the Sith Lord to be “turned in”. And Anakin reports his discovery to one of the masters, Windu. And he once again demonstrates distrust of Anakin: they say, you wait for me in the Jedi temple, and I will grab a couple of faithful knights and go and figure it out myself. Maybe this was the last straw. Either way, Anakin changed his mind.
Palpatine promised to help rescue Padmé; Palpatine was the only one who treated him with respect and support all this time. Therefore, Anakin at the last moment intervened in the duel between Master Windu and Palpatine and with a sudden blow cut off the Master's hand with a sword. After that, Darth Sidious easily destroys Windu. The choice is made, the die is cast, the Rubicon is crossed. From now on, Anakin finally goes to the dark side and receives a Sith name - Darth Vader.
* * *
It is instructive to compare how Palpatine / Darth Sidious / The Emperor lures Anakin Skywalker to his place and how unsuccessfully he tries to repeat this act with Luke Skywalker.
In the case of Anakin, the entire Jedi order is on the side of the dark side: it was the Jedi who, in their arrogance, finally shattered the moral foundations of a very dangerous young man. In the case of Luke, on the contrary, on the side of the Light side - even as if Darth Vader himself. After all, it was Darth Vader who clearly explained to Luke what an unsightly future awaits him: loneliness, universal hatred and selfless service to the nasty evil old man who, as if on purpose, gets into an important conversation between father and son, shouting: “Oh yes! I can feel the hate flowing through your veins, my disciple! " - although in fact, the Emperor in Luke does not cause anything but irritation in this scene. Palpatine is not just not listened to - he is a hindrance, a buzzing fly.
The success could not be repeated. Why?
It is speculated that because Anakin was vulnerable because of Padmé Amidala. Luke didn't have such a passionate affection.
But love, even passionate, cannot in itself be the cause of the fall. Many additional factors are required.
Everything was pushing Anakin to fall.
And everything kept Luke from falling.
The Jedi paid a terrible price for understanding, but those who remained were able to correct the mistake.
Anakin was unlucky in that sense. Nothing - neither the state nor the knightly order - can exist for a long time in a state of stagnation. At some point, there is an explosion, a revolution. In this case, Anakin - Darth Vader served as a weapon of revolution: he begins the systematic extermination of the Jedi.
Obi Wan and Yoda survived, as we know. In the final battle between his former mentor and former apprentice, Obi Wan managed to cripple Anakin and throw him into the boiling lava. Not bad for a mentor who has failed his mentorship.
"Obi Wan killed your father" - remember? Oh yes, Obi Wan, Master Yoda and all the wise Jedi Council - they all somehow killed "the good man Anakin Skywalker." All of them, with lies, manipulation, arrogance, intrigue, mistrust, insults, inattention, a formal approach to a very gifted and very young person - they all pushed him to the Dark Side.
And when this, quite naturally, happened - they tried to destroy it physically.
However, Darth Vader did not die: burned and barely alive, he was saved by Darth Sidious. Now Darth Vader has to live in a special spacesuit, equipped with a special life support system, and breathe through a mask: inhale - exhale.
Well well. It's time to remember the "prophecy": that the young Skywalker is destined to "restore the balance of the Force." In fact, such prophecies are very insidious: those who know them do their best to ensure that something sinister does not come true - and usually achieve the exact opposite result.
The prophecy said that the chosen youth would restore the balance of the Force ... by destroying the Sith. It is somehow illogical: what kind of "balance" can there be when the Dark Ones are destroyed? This is not a "balance" of the Force, but simply the triumph of Light. If you think about what happened, the Council itself brought Anakin to the point that he ... really restored the balance: on each side there were two left (Obi Wan and Yoda - Light Ones, Darth Sidious and Darth Vader - Dark Ones). What they wanted to get - they got it. “Maybe we misinterpreted the prophecy,” the wise Master Yoda dropped meaningfully on this matter ...”
I apologize for the crooked translation, mainly the translator helped, but the essence seems to be conveyed. After reading it, I stopped believing even more in the "Light Jedi", and indeed in everything that is openly declared as "bringing good and light." In Star Wars, only Luke, little Anakin and Padmé were true goodness and light. And when someone starts talking about what the Jedi Council is the wisest and the kindest, and Obi-Wan is the very embodiment of kindness and fluffiness, then think about what they will do to you if you are not pleasing to them. They will not even lift a finger to somehow save or sort out your problem, and will you be immured in disgusting armor, equipped with prostheses, while morally and physically crippled. Them easy to say that you yourself chose to be bad, instead of trying with your wisdom and experience to understand what drives you. Wisdom should cover all aspects, and not be one-sided and divide the world into black and white. "Only the Sith make everything to the absolute" remember? Oh god! How many times have Jedi done the same thing? Or does it not count? In short, pleasant reading and may the force be with you, my fair ones.
https://biography.wikireading.ru/1240
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darth-schism · 3 years
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Evidence to Suggest that Luke was NOT all that he seemed in TLJ
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Luke Skywalker may have isolated himself because of his guilt/depression. But I also believe he did it for practical reasons, and that his “totally given up” act, was just that, an act. Evidence for this Head-cannon/interpretive take:
1. He made a map to his location
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Not only that, but it was so specific, it was literally called “The Map to Skywalker.” The only way it would have gotten a name as tailored as that is if someone else had found him before Rey, or, if he told people about it himself. In any event, to whatever varying degree, Luke wanted to be found and/or influence the galaxy around him.
One piece of the map was  tossed around to all sorts of corners of the galaxy, while the rest of it was entrusted to R2D2. 
2. This was a deliberate combo to serve two different purposes
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          - Keep Snoke distracted: The entirety of TFA was Kylo and Snoke obsessing over Luke’s location. Their preoccupation with it was evident and, instead of letting them focus on relentlessly attacking the New Republic, Luke gave them a reason to go on wild goose chases. Consider that Snoke doesn’t go ‘all in’ on trying to destroy the Resistance until after he realizes he lost the race to get to Skywalker. Which shows just how much stock he had put into that singular Jedi. What’s more, even if they had succeeded, they’d only have a useless fraction with no reference as to where in the galaxy Luke’s secret location actually was.      
          - Meanwhile, R2D2 would also play the role of a “given up/powered down” hero: But we see that, soon as the coast is clear, and some plot heroes arrive with the map, he assessed the situation, turned on, and sent them right to Skywalker. I think it’s safe to say that R2D2 was merely in ‘sleep mode,’ as opposed to ‘shut down.’ However, despite all this, the element of being powered down/unassuming was still crucial because... 
3. Snoke made it abundantly clear that when he found Skywalker, he’d blow up the entire landmass he was found, or even theorized to be, on
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Luke would never put a population of innocents at risk of complete annihilation just because someone might to recognize him at a local market. So it’s no wonder he chose a place as isolated as he did (On top of that, considering his critical stance towards the Jedi Order by 28ish ABY, it wouldn’t necessarily be a heartbreak to him if the island did end up getting destroyed, or one to anyone else really, because of how obscure/unknown it was...or so he convinced himself).
4. He was picking his battles
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If Luke Skywalker wanted to be found. Then why was he so dismissive of Rey? There’s no solid evidence here (aside from the whole existence of the map scheme), but I think there’s good reason to believe that Luke’s instant stand-offish behavior is one of caution and assessment not dissimilar how how Yoda and Kenobi put up an initial façade when they were discovered in exile (but more on that later). In any event, this approach would give him the means to offer personalized help to those who ended up on his doorstep. It honestly didn’t take Luke long to go from tossing his father’s lightsaber, to offering Rey the three lessons she needed to understand the force better. Although I believe Rey’s visit to Luke was far different than what others had probably been but (again) more on that later.
5. He was able leave anytime he wanted
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The very clear image of Luke’s submerged X-Wing in the ocean painted a picture of cut ties, and a “no going back” stance. However, it wasn’t the first time that starfighter had been at the bottom of a water bed, and clearly it wasn’t the last. I’m inclined to believe that this is another part of Luke’s deliberate presentation of a hero who had lost all hope. But all speculation aside, there was nothing to physically stop Luke from leaving that island whenever he wanted. There’s nothing to say that he didn’t break form/character operate to find a way to undermine Snoke further.
6. He was actively protecting others close to him
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There was a reason Luke getting Grogu at the end of Season 2 of The Mandalorian caused such a stir in Disney, and caused Kennedy to go for Faverau’s throat. All “who’s idea was who’s” arguments aside. At the end of the day it created two possible outcomes for this element of the Star Wars franchise: Either Grogu died in Kylo’s attack. Or there were survivors. Since killing the money making Baby Yoda isn’t necessarily on Disney’s to do list, it’s a reasonable bet that he survives the slaughter (unless he’s returned to Din’s side before Kylo goes ballistic, in which case he avoids it all together). But even if that does happen, this theory still holds a little water). Luke lying low, and operating in secret may have been the only way he was keeping himself, the galaxies citizens, and his few remaining students from getting hit with an orbital strike. 
7. He was never fully disconnected from the force.
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Perhaps, somewhat disconnected, but it’s clear that Luke hasn’t cut himself off from the force as much as he, perhaps, wanted to admit. Luke is still able to effortlessly summon a weapon, keep control of the duel between himself and Rey, and gently lower his body to the ground when he loses his footing. Despite his stance on using/taking ownership of the force in TLJ, it seems as though Luke kept just enough around so that he could still fight. This theory is more optimistically minded than some of the others, but I still can’t help but think that Luke kept these reserves of power ready, because he already had to use them more than once during his supposed isolation.
8. Rey’s visit was different than the others who had come before.
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“You went straight into the Dark. It offered you something you needed, and you didn’t even try to stop yourself.” 
“I've seen this raw strength only once before, in Ben Solo. It didn't scare me enough then. It does now.”
Other plot heroes/adventurers may have come, gone, or even convinced Luke to help them in secret. So assuming all, or even some, of the above is true, then that means Luke wasn’t just pushing to dismiss Rey, but also disillusion her. I think this is because Rey wasn’t there to get help with a specific mission, rescue, etc, but there to have Luke become the public symbol of hope again. And we’ve already listed the reasons why this couldn’t happen. On top of that, this push was done in a way that directly conflicted with all the “none theorized” reasons Luke had isolated himself. Luke knew he couldn’t accommodate this. He sensed the darkness in Rey. He sensed her connection to Kylo. In many ways his lessons also doubled as a means to properly evaluate Rey, and confirm his suspicions. In any event, all of this brought up an element of his isolation that no one else knew. He already had the, half truth, story as to what happened to his temple well rehearsed. But it was Rey’s visit that dragged out his greatest regret, which was his near attempt to take Ben’s life, due to both the mind bending fear Snoke had manipulated into palce, and the hypocritical, and self destructive Jedi philosophies that had been drilled in to his head. This was the final straw that made him want to destroy the Jedi texts. But it was also the push he needed to find inner peace, and think of the means to make one last public appearance, without endangering anyone.  
9. In no interpretation is Luke an attempt child killer 
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This is more of a bonus point in nature. I think so many people were caught off guard by the narrative choice Luke undertook in this part of the film, that it painted the whole ordeal in a far more unfavorable light than it actually was. For starters: Ben was no child. He was 23 years old when he fell to the darkside. Luke was saw the images of planetary destruction, and the deaths of friends and family alike at the hands of an adult. But even at that, Luke’s ligthsaber had already lowered, and his face expressing that of shame and sadness, when Ben glances over, and decides to take up his lightsaber, and make the first strike. Luke doesn’t even ignite his lightsaber in response until after Ben swings it. The influence Snoke had over Ben, and the mental attack he lured Luke into suffering, to make this moment come to pass cannot be understated.   
 - This also means that Luke’s isolation lasted only 7 years. Not twenty, not even 10. Just 7. Which is less than half the time both Yoda and Obi Wan imposed on themselves.
10. He was following in the footsteps of his masters
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I think Luke’s response to trauma is a little unfair in some ways. Obi Wan and Yoda witnessed genocide, and imposed exile on themselves for twenty years. Now, in film, we know that Obi Wan, while playing the part of a delusional hermit, worked to protect Luke as he grew up on Tatooine, and that Yoda, playing the part of a silly swamp kook, did...something...on Dagobah (?), waited for Luke to grow up so he could train him for a few weeks at most (?). 
Those are two pretty limited things, and yet they don’t catch near as much flack for “abandoning the galaxy to the Empire” as TLJ Luke does, after he also witnessed slaughter, and went into isolation for only 7 years. But, of course, we know Obi Wan did more during his time in the desert, and that Yoda did more during his time in the swamp. So why can’t Luke have also done more while on his island? Everything about the parallels here point to Luke, despite his own misgivings, applying what he learned from his master. All three Jedi isolated themselves because of their personal tragedies. All three greatly reduced their presence in the galaxy. But all three had no choice, and all three still did what they could despite their circumstances.    
11. Luke may have been overcome with grief. But he hadn’t truly changed
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Now, I fully admit that this is a very optimistic way of looking at things. But some of these points also have more weight to them than others. I also cannot stress enough that even though I think some of what Luke was doing was an act, I also know it was equally proportional to the very real, emotional reasons, and struggles he faced. I also definitely do NOT think Kennedy/Johnson meant for any of these possible theories to have any validity to them. But with how they are presented, they also can’t be disproven. 
If Favreau doesn’t formally put the sequels in it’s own little pocket universe, then I really hope he takes the opportunity to make something like ^the above^ happen. It could easily be established in one to two episodes in a live action show. Lots of things could be done to make the sequels a more bearable set of movies to watch. And as much as I’m worried that hoping for this is simply too optimistic, at least now there is a justifiable interpretive take that has both in film evidence to support, and a lack of otherwise to refute.  
At the end of the day (and as usual) the important part here is to see that Luke hadn’t given up. Struggling, disillusioned, forced into a tough spot, willingly keeping himself scarce, etc. All bearable. But knowing he hadn’t given up is super important to the character and fanbase, so hopefully we get something that makes that cannon. In any facet really.  
AND IT WOULD GET MARK HAMILL BACK ON SET GODAMNIT! XD
*Reblogged with new gifs and information
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lurafita · 5 years
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Petvengers Chapter 2
I just realized that I forgot to post the other chapters here as well.
Read Chapter 1 here: Chappy 1
Again, this is also on Ao3, but I want to have duplicates, just in case.
here is the link if you want to read it on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19139326/chapters/45486811
The Ao3 version has pictures of the pets!
  Bucky & Sam
When Peter had invited her over to Stark tower, so that she could meet Cap's new dog Colonel, and help him brainstorm for the next step of his mission (Ned had also been invited, but had had to decline due to a surprise weekend family trip), Michelle certainly hadn't expected that they would end up sitting cross-legged and drinking hot chocolate on Natasha Romanoff's bed. Said redhead, also known as Black Widow, was sat across from them in her desk chair, sipping on her own cup of the chocolaty beverage.
Her and Michelle had chosen a simple version of the drink; dark chocolate, some milk, a pinch of cinnamon. Nothing fancy and not too sweet. Whereas Peter had doctored his cup with extra sugar, mini marshmallows, whipped cream, vanilla extract, and sprinkles. Michelle was pretty sure that that monstrosity of a drink would cause diabetes in anyone else but Peter. Looking at it alone made her teeth ache.
Hope, Peter's most loyal companion, was for once not curled up, around, or all over his owner, and had instead laid his head on Natasha's thigh, while the former Russian spy was absently scratching his scalp.
"The key to manipulating others is to know what makes them tick."
The Black Widow had found the two teens in the common floor's living room (because even though everyone living in the Stark tower had their own floor, they all somehow gravitated to this one), discussing various ideas on how to get Bucky and Sam into the animal shelter. She had lightly scolded them for talking about a mission in such an open and unsecured place, ordered them into the adjoining kitchen for hot chocolate acquisition, and then corralled them (plus pitbull) down to her own floor and into her bedroom. Satisfied with their new location, Natasha then started to give the teen's a lesson in 'Spy Work 101'.
Peter was devotedly writing everything down, though Michelle had no idea where he had procured the notebook and pen from.
"Every person has a different emotional and psychological makeup and is, therefore, susceptible to different tactics."
She took a sip from her drink. Peter specifically made a note of that.
"So, before you start with your scheme, take your time to study your target. Learn to read them and see the best approach for getting them to bend to your needs."
Peter stopped scribbling for a moment, and looked at the redhead with a frown on his face.
"Couldn't I just do what I did with Steve?"
Natasha raised a single eyebrow.
"Have you heard about the boy who cried wolf?"
Peter nodded insightful.
"Good point."
And then he wrote that down, too.
Since the chance to learn from probably the best spy/secret operative/assassin didn't come by often, Michelle decided to make the most of it.
"Do you have any tips on how to best observe our targets?"
Natasha smirked.
             -----------------------------------------------------------------------
The first time that MJ and Peter observed the two men, Sam and Bucky were running through an elaborate obstacle course in the Danger Room*.
To be on a more even playing field, Bucky had taken off his vibranium arm and Sam his wings.
"You know, no one will judge you if you just give up. I mean, I will judge you... As will everyone else. But the option is there."
"Please. I'm just trying not to embarrass you too much. I could have already finished if I wanted to."
"You wanna put your money where your fucking mouth is?"
"You fucking asked for it!"
Peter and MJ made extensive notes while the other two sped up.
-
The next time that found the duo alone, they had somehow been ganged up on by the other Avengers into cooking for every one.
"Don't add pepper to that, it's gonna be too hot."
"Oh, sorry, I forgot that people your age have trouble handling spicy food. Want me to get out some prune juice for you? Should I puree your steak?"
"Maybe I should make some extra spinach for you, chances are you will finally put on some muscle, then. How about a glass of milk to strengthen your bones?"
"How about you shut up and give me a hand with peeling the potatoes?"
Since a picture said more than a thousand words, MJ took great care to draw the exact look on Sam Wilson's face when a detached metal arm landed right beside him.
-
The third time saw Bucky and Sam playing Mario Kart.
"I'm not at all surprised you chose the dinosaur. Feeling a special kinship with the fossil?"
"No more than you do with Princess Peach. What with you both being on your period."
It seemed that neither man was even out to win the race, but far more invested in hitting the other's character with an item, or pushing them off the track. When they finally crossed the finish line (after many, many swearwords; it was a good thing that Laura and Clint had taken their kids to visit Laura's parents), the two men sat back on the couch and took a long sip from their beer bottles.
Then they simultaneously turned their heads to the love seat beside the couch. The love seat that was currently occupied by one Spiderkid and one Spiderkid's friend who 'was a girl but not his girlfriend'. Who both had notebooks in their laps and pens in their hands and were staring at the men. Rather creepily.
The two pairs held eye contact for an uncomfortable amount of time.
"Did you two want to play?"
The teens shook their heads.
"You need help with... homework or something?"
Peter smiled.
"Nope, we are good."
The girl waved her hand at the pair.
"Carry on."
-
It was 1:45 am at night when Michelle was roused from her sleep by her buzzing phone. She opened up the screen to see that she had gotten a text message from Peter.
DefinitelynotSpiderman:  Calling in mission report. I'm not getting any new information. Awaiting orders.
MyfriendscallmeMJ: ... Peter, are you currently sticking to Sergeant Barnes ceiling and watching him in his sleep?
DefinitelynotSpiderman: Of course not! Ever since Bucky and Steve started dating, they moved in together on Cap's floor. Not trying to get an eye full of that! What kind of creepy stalker do you take me for?! DefinitelynotSpiderman: I'm observing Sam. DefinitelynotSpiderman: While sticking on his ceiling. DefinietlynotSpiderman: In the dark. DefinietlynotSpiderman: While he is sleeping. DefinitelynotSpiderman: It's super boring.
MyfriendscallmeMJ: Peter, go to bed.
DefinitelynotSpiderman:  Roger that.
-
After another week of close observation (to which the men had by that time caught on and were slightly freaked out by), Peter and MJ presented their findings to Natasha.
"They are like the worlds best frenemies."
Peter had once again made himself a cup full of 'Death by sugar', while Michelle and Natasha were enjoying some very nice tea, that Peter had 'borrowed' from Dr. Strange. (It was part of the training program Natasha had thought up for him to work on his stealth abilities. He had also 'borrowed' 15 single socks from Tony, Clint's fuzzy bathrobe, two pairs of Sam's sunglasses, and just an hour ago, Steve's running shoes. He had so far not been able to slip under the guard of the Winter Solider, and flat out refused to 'borrow' anything from Bruce. Dr. Banner was the god of science and shall not be used for training exercises.)
Natasha, who was at the moment wrapped up in Clint's fuzzy bathrobe, motioned for Michelle to elaborate on Peter's statement.
"They don't miss an opportunity to poke fun at, or insult the other, but even though it may seem as such at first glance, they are never actually hurtful to each other. Mr. Wilson holds regular counseling sessions with Sergeant Barnes, which we respectfully did not intrude on, but are likely about his fighting in a war and other trauma. And Sergeant Barnes helps out with Mr. Wilson's training and helps him to figure out new strategies and maneuvers for aerial combat."
Hope hadn't joined the teens in Natasha's room this time around, as he and Colonel were currently playing with Cooper, Lila and Nathaniel on the Barton's floor, under the watchful eyes of their parents (though Clint was most likely just as excited about having the dogs for some playtime as his kids were. He was fooling no one.)
"Sam has a bit of an inferiority complex, what with both his best friends being enhanced super soldiers, and is constantly trying it one-up Bucky."
Peter continued.
"And Bucky still sometimes struggles with understanding how the present, or in his view, the future and it's course of conduct works. He wants to learn to adapt on his own terms, and doesn't like having these things explained to him like he wouldn't get it otherwise."
MJ finished their report.
"They are both headstrong and independent. They like to help others, but don't like to be in a position where they themselves need help. They are very alike in that. Which leads to everything pretty much turning into a competition between them."
Natasha smiled proudly at them.
"Very good."
They smiled back.
"Thank you, Sensei."
Cue the raised eyebrow.
"Sensei?"
Peter shyly rubbed the back of his head.
"Well, you are teaching us some of the tools of your trade. Which makes you the Obi Wan to our Skywalker. But MJ voted against calling you Master, since that title caters to a patriarchal system. But the female form 'Mistress' sounded a bit too much 'Dominatrix'. So we settled on the more respectful Japanese term of Sensei. But we will totally stop calling you that if you don't like it, Tasha."
He nervously bit his lip as they waited for Natasha's verdict, and even MJ subtly shifted a little in her seat.
"No, I like it. Feel free to use it as much as you like. So now, my prodigious students, after having studied your targets, what have you come up with?"
Her smile widened more and more as the teens told her of their plan.
                    ---------------------------------------------------
 Stage 1: Divide
Michelle found Sam in the common floor's kitchen, seemingly enjoying a cup of coffee. Peter had used the terrible combined powers of his and Hope's puppy eyes, to convince Sergeant Barnes that he wanted to go get ice cream with the teen and dog, about fifteen minutes ago. Which led into the next part of their plan.
 Stage 2: Conquer
She casually strolled up to the table and sat down across from the infamous Falcon. He gave her a welcoming nod.
"Hey there, Michelle. You didn't want to go with the others to get ice cream?"
"Have you ever seen the absurdly sweet things Parker orders? I didn't feel like getting second hand diabetes today."
He snorted.
"Tell me about it. I swear I could feel my teeth starting to rot, the last time he made himself a snack. And by snack, I mean a deep fried mars bar, covered in whipped cream and wrapped in a chocolate chip pancake."
He shuddered at the memory. Then Michelle went in for the kill.
 -Hook.-
"And also, I don't need to listen to Sergeant Barnes rant about your inability to let yourself appear emotionally open or vulnerable."
The man almost chocked on his coffee.
"I'm sorry, what?"
With a casual shrug and a dismissive hand gesture, the girl elaborated.
"I mean, it's not a big deal or anything. We were talking about Hope and Colonel the other day, and how Peter tricked Captain Rogers. Peter thought he should do it again, you know, with someone else from the team. That loser is absolutely certain that everyone needs a pet because, and I quote 'Animals just make everything better, MJ.'."
The statement was followed by her trademark eye roll.
"Well, in the kid's defense, there are quite a few studies about the mental and psychological benefits a close relationship with a pet can have on a person. Especially those dealing with trauma. Many of the veterans I counsel have a therapeutic companion, or emotional support animal, as they are more commonly called."
Sam couldn't help but inject, but quickly got back to the matter at hand.
"What's that about Barnes spouting bullshit, though?"
 -Line.-
The teen across from him shrugged her shoulders.
"He simply stated that something like this wouldn't work on you. Since Peter's ploy heavily depended on the Captain being a 'pushover with a hero complex', and therefore unable to turn away from a 'little critter in need of love and affection'. You, on the other hand, were 'too insecure about your manliness, and wouldn't allow yourself to be seen as someone doting on an animal'. His words."
The coffee cup was set down harshly on the table, as Sam pushed himself upwards.
 -And sinker.-
"He did, did he." He growled. "Insecure about my manliness, my ass. I'm gonna show that bastard... Say, do you know which shelter Pete got the dogs from?"
Michelle easily suppressed a victorious smirk, and quickly typed out the signal message on her phone for Ned to be ready with his camcorder.
"I will show you the way." He nodded in acceptance. "Great. If we come across a shop selling sunglasses on the way there, remind me to get a pair. I seem to keep misplacing mine."
                      ------------------------------------------------------
They had taken Hope to the park first, and thrown around a Frisbee for the dog to chase after and catch. Natasha had told Peter to spend about thirty to forty minutes in the park, and after that approximately the same amount of time at the ice cream cafe, that was conveniently located halfway between the park and the shelter. (What was even better, was that this particular cafe had ice cream specifically made for dogs. So he had ordered Hope three big scoops of the dogs favorite flavor.)
While Hope was happily licking up his cold treat, and Peter was demolishing his triple banana split with extra toppings of everything, Bucky serenely drunk from his glass of frappuccino. The tranquility of the moment was only disrupted by the vibrating buzz of Peter's mobile phone, which he quickly took out of his pants pocket.
MyfriendscallmeMJ: The Falcon and his new companion have left the building. Ned is awaiting your arrival. Initiate phase 'Lonely Winter' now.
-Alright Parker-, he gave himself a mental pep talk, -your turn. Tasha and MJ have coached you through your lines all yesterday evening, you totally got this.-
"So," -maybe put a little less squeak into your voice!- "Hrm, I mean, so... You know, I think Sam is wrong."
Bucky grinned at him.
"Wilson is wrong about a lot of things. But what in particular are you referring to?"
 -Get it together, Spiderman! You can totally do this! Look him in the eye and lie right to his face!-
Peter fixed his stare resolutely on the coffee table and spun his spoon around his now empty bowl.
 -Coward!-
"Just something he said. Me and MJ were talking the other day, you know, about how great it would be if the others on the team would maybe adopt an animal from the shelter, too. I mean, the tower is more than big enough for it, and you can't deny that Steve has been a lot more relaxed ever since he got Colonel. You too, actually."
Bucky nodded to that. He had always had a soft spot for dogs, and really anything with big eyes and soft fur that needed his protection. He was always happy to volunteer taking both Colonel and Hope out for a walk, if Steve or Peter were busy. Just like this morning when he went jogging with Colonel, because his boyfriend refused to leave before he found his running shoes. (He hadn't found them. Bucky could have told him that the kid had them, but he was no snitch. Also, he knew very well that this was part of Natasha's stealth training, and since Peter never took things that held emotional value to their owners, Bucky was very satisfied with silently cheering the kid on.)
"Sam overheard us and said that you probably wouldn't go for it."
The Winter Soldiers eyes narrowed slightly.
"Oh?"
 -Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic! Lie your heart out you french frying licorice!-
"Yeah, like, you know, he was just like 'Nah, that relic wouldn't even know how to handle all the paperwork that comes with adopting a pet. Bet they didn't have that back in 1920. Probably just ran out on the street and took home the first thing that let itself be cuddled.' Well, something along those lines, I don't remember his exact wording (-because he never said that, you lying liar who lies!- ) and he said that you would be way too proud to ask for someone to explain it to you and stuff..."
He risked glancing up from the table to gauge Bucky's reaction, and holy mother of science! If the stormy look on the man's face said anything, he had totally bought Peter's bullshit!
-Whoohoo! Good work, Spidey!-
Feeling emboldened by this, he tried his best to adopt a casual, earnest posture.
"But, I don't think Sam is right. I mean, you know how to file your taxes and stuff, and I'm pretty sure that more than half the people in New York don't know how to do that correctly. Tony always just lets Pepper handle them. And besides, you are totally awesome with Hope and Colonel, and I don't think you would let something like pride stand in your way if you wanted to adopt a pet."
Another quick glance at the Sergeant revealed a mix of fondness, contemplation, and determination.
"You know what, kid? How about we make a little detour to that shelter of yours and show Sam how very, stupidly wrong he is?"
                       --------------------------------------------------------
Ned had opted out of accompanying the now foursome back to the tower, as he wanted to save the new video he had made to the file he had on his computer at home. Bucky had either not cared about Peter's friend filming him, while he went through the process of adopting an animal, or hadn't realized that he had been the sole focus of the camera.
When they entered the common floor, Hope tiredly trotting over to where Colonel had laid himself down beside the love seat, they were greeted by the sight of Steve, Sam, Michelle, Natasha and Pepper readying the room for a movie night.
Peter quickly ran over to Pepper and took two of the three huge bowls of chips she was trying to balance.
"Thank you, sweetie."
"No problem. Where are the others?"
Steve answered, setting down two huge jugs of iced fruit tea on the table.
"Clint and Laura are making sure that Cooper and Lila have finished their homework before we start with the movie. Bruce wanted to go over the latest results of some kind of experiment he was running one more time, but promised to be here in half an hour at the latest. May had to fill in for a colleague, and said to tell you to eat something healthy before you stuffed yourself with junk food. Speaking of which, here."
Steve had somehow procured a plate with steamed vegetables and some rice out of nowhere, and was shoving it into Peter's hands.
The younger looked at the food suspiciously.
"Did Aunt May make this before she left?"
Steve smirked.
"No. She tried her hand on a casserole... the smell was a little... pungent, to put it mildly. And Colonel kinda buried it in the flower field on the terrace. So I whipped this up for you."
Then he held out a fork for Peter to take, while the teen smiled in relief.
"Thanks Cap!"
He quickly sat down next to MJ and Natasha and began to eat.
"Where's dad?"
Pepper laughed lightly.
"He is busy disassembling the dryer. Said the machine keeps eating his left socks. How he figures they are his left ones is beyond me, though."
Natasha helpfully slapped Peter on his back, as he valiantly tried to not choke on his food.
Sam and Bucky meanwhile, had kind of squared up against each other, both standing opposite the other, with about three feet between them, and fixing the other with a snarky, triumphant kind of expression.
Sam broke the silence first.
"So, finally made it back, did you? Did the kid and the dog have to slow down for old man Barnes?"
"We took the scenic route, something you wouldn't know about, having so little stamina."
Then, as if they had planned it, Sam whistled sharply at the same time that Bucky stuck his hand in his hoodie pocket.
The human hand came out holding a little raccoon securely in its grasp.
"This is Arthur. He can't be returned to the wild, because one of his hind legs got stuck in a trap and they had to amputate it. And just so you know, I had no problems at all filling out his adoption forms."
At the same time a white cockatoo came flying into the room and landed on Sam's shoulder.
"This is Eames. He used to belong to a very ill mannered Londoner, and randomly spouts British swearwords, which is why no one wanted to adopt him. We bonded over calling you a bloody bastard." The "Bloody Bastard" was directly repeated by Eames. Sam smiled at his bird. "See? And for your information, I have no trouble at all with showing my emotional side."
The two stared at each other for a moment, processing what had been said.
"Why would I want to know that you filled out his papers by yourself?"
"Why would I care that you are not afraid to show your feelings?"
A stretch of silence followed, as everyone in the room was now staring at the two men and their new pets. Then, again creepily in sync, both men turned their gazes to the couch where two teenagers and one redheaded super spy were sitting.
"Pete..."
"Michelle..."
Natasha helpfully took hold of Peter's plate as the two teens stood up from the couch, quickly bowed to her, "Thank you, Sensei.", and then ran out of the room like the hounds of hell were behind them.
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jpoakbrook · 2 years
Text
BEYOND THE STARS, BEYOND THE SEA
chapter 15: THE ARCHIVES PT 2
summary: Qui-gon doesn't like secrets; You misunderstand Obi-wan and want to lessen your burden on him; Obi-wan just wants to take care of you.
TWs: Some description of sleep paralysis and PTSD from sexual assault.
When you woke up the next morning, there was a bit of light coming in through the small window near the ceiling. You looked up at the streaks coming in, and your gaze lowered to Obi-wan. He lay facing you, his cheek smushed into the pillow. His eyelashes were impossibly long. He looked so at ease, and his arm around your waist reassured you that he was, in fact, actually there. It was not a dream, as it had been for so many years before.
“I can feel you staring, my dear,” he murmured. You broke into a grin, and his own smile slowly grew on his lips. He opened those sleepy blue eyes and blinked slowly as he looked at you. This, you decided, was the best view in the galaxy.
“You’re supposed to be asleep,” you pouted.
“That’s my line.” He sat up with a yawn, stretching his arms above his head. The blanket fell down into his lap, and you traced your eyes over the scars on his back, the curves of his muscles, the imprints of where the sheets were bunched up beneath him. You ran your fingers over his back, stroking down his spine gently, and he felt his chest tightening. He looked at you over his shoulder, and you smiled at him. “Good morning,” he whispered.
“Good morning,” you responded softly. He leaned over you, hand cupping your jaw and neck, and there was just a brief moment where you thought he was going to kiss you. His eyes were staring into yours as he moved closer, and you didn’t breathe.
Hesitation.
That’s what always stopped you both from anything more than being a comforting sleeping partner. His lips pressed to your forehead again, as they had a million times before, and you held his wrist as your eyes closed. The weightless feeling in your chest quickly morphed into an impossibly heavy stone in your stomach. You felt your tears touch your cheeks, and he sighed as he pulled away, wiping them away.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, but you shook your head.
“I’m sorry.”
The worst part, Obi-wan thought as he got out of bed to dress, wasn’t that this wasn’t the first time you’d had this conversation, this reaction, the morning after. The worst part wasn’t that he could no longer sleep on his own without feeling icy and empty and lonely. The worst part was that he would do anything to stay in that bed with you for just 10 more minutes. And that was something he should not have been feeling.
You had your back turned to him as you sat up, wiping your tears away, and he had to bite his cheek to not say anything. He had learned it was better left unsaid. He wrapped an arm around your neck from behind, kissed the top of your head, and left without another word.
~ * ~
“So, what’s that word then?” Qui-gon was asking you. You were sitting in one of the common rooms at the temple, sitting on the ground beside the coffee table. He was sitting on the couch, Anakin sat on the other end with Ahsoka lounging in an armchair nearby. They had just gotten done with some training and were winding down before dinner. You liked sitting on the floor, mostly because then you could lay your head down on the table.
“That’s… the word for, like, exhaustion. But a purely mental exhaustion,” you explained to him. “It’s used mostly by students and scholars to describe the mental anguish of having been studying for too long.”
“So you’re familiar with it, then,” Anakin muttered, and he laughed when you threw a couch pillow at him. He let it hit him in the face, grabbing it to cuddle as he watched whatever movie was playing on the holo.
“How many languages do you know, Juniper?” Qui-gon asked, eyebrows furrowed. He had brought you so many different texts in so many different languages, and you didn’t have trouble with any of them.
“More than a few,” you responded. It was your go-to response to that question. Those were some of the cards you played close to chest. You didn’t trust anyone with that knowledge. Not even Kit Fisto knew just how many languages tumbled around in your head. All anyone ever knew was that you started there with over 40 languages in your bank. Nobody had made you retest, and you would’ve refused if they had asked. You probably would’ve pretended like you were at 50 or something now, but you were certain there were languages you understood that not even the robots knew. Droids, you found, didn’t do well with body language and facial changes. Plus, you had found very few who could do vocal range changes like the Nagai. Nagaian was a beautiful language, and you hadn’t found a droid who could fully understand the complications of the tonal changes, much less actually be able to speak it.
“Interesting… And you know about the cultures that surround them?” he asked.
“Have to in order to understand the language,” you said with a nod.
“Then… what can you tell me about Nagaian?” he asked. You perked up at that. You didn’t notice Plo Koon’s eyes turn over to your little group as he played billiards with one of the other knights.
“Oh! It’s a gorgeous language, Qui-gon. It belongs to the Nagai people, and it’s a tonal-dependant language. So saying, for instance, Erhot,” you said with an up-tick on ‘Air’, rolling the r, and a low ‘HOTE’, “versus Erhot.” This one had a low ‘AIR’ with a light and upticked ‘hut’, a shorter rolled r. “The first is for something you want done as soon as possible, but no rush on it. A priority but not an emergency. The second is a type of animal they use for farm work.”
“Interesting…” Qui-gon said, but his mind was racing. “And what do you know of the culture?” he asked.
“What are we discussing over here?” Plo Koon asked as he joined you. You beamed up at him.
“Master Plo! I was just telling Master Qui-gon about the Nagai people. They come from a race of very family-oriented, honor-based beings. They’re born with insane reflexes and speed, and they are all trained more on the assassin side of things. They’ve all got sharp bladed weapons, but there’s one they carry closest to their heart. To them, this blade means more than just a weapon. It could be a symbol of their own livelihood, it could be the weapon they will use to take their own life if they do something dishonourable, or it could simply be the weapon that brings them the most comfort.”
You stopped for a moment and beamed at them. “If I were a Nagai, I think my blade would be the knife that Kit gave me.” Plo looked at Qui-gon with a slightly disapproving look.
“I think that’s enough with the Nagai line. Doesn’t your research have to do with the Omwati?” Plo asked him as he crossed his arms. He was glaring at Qui-gon, and you had no idea why. The tension was evident, and you stood up slowly.
“Did I cross a line, masters?” you asked.
“You did nothing wrong. You’re perfect, and I love you,” Plo said quickly, his eyes never leaving Qui-gon. You raised a hand to your chest and beamed at the man.
“I love you, too! But… I mean, I can stop talking about the Nagai if it makes you uncomfortable, Master Plo. There’s so many other species out there. It’ll be easy to avoid talking about that one,” you said.
“It is my fault for asking you about such a touchy subject, Juniper. Maybe one day we’ll be able to discuss the race without such emotions clouding a simple inquiry,” Qui-gon spoke slowly as his eyes never left the other master.
“Why is it so wrong to speak about the Nagai?” Ahsoka asked, sitting up as she looked at the two.
“There was a person, an enemy of the jedi, who was Nagaian. They hurt many friends of mine, killed a few of them. I have a personal distaste for this person,” Qui-gon said.
“That’s enough,” Plo snapped and uncrossed his arms. “This conversation is over. Miss Juniper, your services are required,” he said and stormed off. You gave the trio a smile and a shrug, following the jedi master.
“What was that all about?” Ahsoka asked Qui-gon while they walked away.
“The council believes they know what’s best at all times. I happen to disagree with them pretty often,” Qui-gon simply responded. He wasn’t going to tell her outright, but that wouldn’t stop him from hinting at it and giving her all the things she needed to piece it together.
They fell into a silence for a while, and it was only a few short minutes before Obi-wan came running into the room.
“What did you do?!” he demanded of Qui-gon, phone in hand.
“I simply asked a question,” Qui-gon responded, not feigning like he had no idea what he was talking about. He knew Obi-wan better than that.
“You have to be careful, Qui-gon. You can’t just go around saying things like that,” he said.
“Like what?!” Ahsoka demanded.
“Leave. Both of you,” Obi-wan said with a point at Anakin and Ahsoka. Usually, Anakin would’ve argued back. But he could see the blatant fury on Obi-wan’s face. Ahsoka went to argue back, as she was prone to do, but he held a hand out to stop her.
“Let’s go, Snips. Let’s go see where Master Plo took June,” he said. His own tone told Ahsoka this was above them now. They headed out with uncertain looks at the two masters.
“Why are you so afraid of her knowing?” Qui-gon asked when the room was empty.
“She has gone through a lot in her life, Qui-gon. You have no idea what she’s gone through and how far she’s come in the last 10 years with us. To reveal to her about her father could break her,” Obi-wan responded.
“So you just lie to her instead? How is that fair to her?!” Qui-gon demanded. He had known Juniper only a few days, but he felt an odd connection and protection about her. He understood what Kit Fisto meant. She brought such a positive energy to the table, and he couldn’t get enough of it, like a flower yearning for sunlight.
“It’s for her own good,” Obi-wan insisted.
“And you decided that for her? You decided what a grown-ass woman should be able to decide on her own? You’re not giving her the freedom to choose, Obi-wan. And when she finally finds out that you’ve been hiding this from her, how exactly do you think she’s going to feel? You think she’s going to thank you for protecting her?” Qui-gon was hissing, and it almost sounded like venom.
“She’ll understand,” Obi-wan grumbled.
“Not everyone has the same mindset and emotions as you, young Obi-wan. You’ll see,” Qui-gon sighed and resigned to it. He understood that, no matter how much he tried to warn him, nothing was going to change. As much as he wanted to tell her, it simply wasn’t in his place, especially considering how Obi-wan complicated it.
“We will see,” Obi-wan muttered and sighed heavily. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, pinching the nerves there. “Just… Don’t bring it up around her, okay? Not… not right now. We have our reasons, and Jer’ik has his. Just trust us.”
Qui-gon didn’t say anything, just pursed his lips, and shook his head. He didn’t agree with it. But he would let nature run its course, the course he could see set out ahead of them. The course that crashed and burned and would hurt both of them more than the council could see.
~ * ~
“And you know how to speak Omwati fluently?” Qui-gon asked.
“Omwatese. And yes,” you corrected him with a smile. You were sitting with him in the archives at a study desk. You had spent nearly every day with the man since his return, and after just over a week of being friends with him, you were pretty certain you were never going to leave his side. He was fun, he was kind, and he made you laugh. No wonder why Obi-wan admired him so much.
“Will you be able to translate for me when they arrive then?” he asked curiously, slowly, like he was uncertain of your reaction. But he needn’t worry. Stars appeared in your eyes as you gasped at him, nodding.
“Absolutely I will!” you confirmed. Omwatese was similar to Nagaian, and that made you love it all the more.
“Lovely. There’s no way they’re compensating you enough for the work you do,” Qui-gon said, and you laughed at that.
“I mean, I make a fair amount. It’s mostly the fact that I now get to go to other worlds, worlds I have only ever read about, that really makes it worth it. I am so amazed, every day, by how much of the galaxy I get to see now. It’s pretty astounding!”
He stared at you in confusion before laughing a little. “You’re an odd one, Juniper Pyke.” You just beamed and nodded at that, agreeing whole heartedly. “How much longer until Obi-wan lifts your flight restriction?” he asked.
“With the way his mood’s been? Never,” you huffed. After the weird conversation with Plo Koon and Qui-gon, Obi-wan had been avoiding you. It had been 2 days since, and he spent neither night with you. You slept like shit the first night and only got a nap in last night because the Wolfpack was around. Sinker’s head on your shoulder, Boost’s on your stomach, while yours rested on Wolffe’s lap. Comet was the only one of the little group that wasn’t in contact with you, and that was because he was curled around Wolffe’s head. You were safe among the Pack, and it made you forget about Obi-wan’s coldness for just a bit.
“He didn’t even deliver you the news himself?” he asked. You shook your head.
“Nope. Apparently, he was speaking to Mace Windu about it that first day, and Mace decided it was time for him to put his foot down after your argument with Plo Koon. Said that I’m a distraction from your current task, and I am to remain here until I’m not anymore.” Your huff blew your hair from your face, and you pushed your glasses up sharply. “But I think he’s just mad because we’ve been spending a lot of time together. He probably wants you all to himself, and he’s jealous that your attention is on me.”
Qui-gon wondered how you could be so right and also so wrong at the same time.
“Sounds like maybe you should confront him about it,” Qui-gon egged you on. Your eyebrows furrowed. “Sounds like maybe you should demand answers from him!” Your fists clenched. “Sounds like you should go talk to him right now!”
“Yeah! You’re right!” You agreed as you jumped to your feet. You stormed off without another word, and Qui-gon was just giggling to himself as he settled in to watch the movie with the younger two.
“This is why Master Kenobi always says you remind him of his master,” Ahsoka said to Anakin, reaching out with her foot to judge his elbow. He smacked her foot away with a little laugh, and the three devolved into giggles and fights in no time.
~ * ~
“Master Kenobi, a word?” you asked politely. You had entered the meeting room that you were told he was in, waited for it to end, and said a polite hello to your friends who passed by. Obi-wan had been distracted by Mace Windu for a moment, and you could see on his face that he had fully intended to avoid you if he could.
“I’ll leave you to it,” Mace said with a nod before taking his own leave. He could feel the awkward tension, and he wanted nothing to do with it. He was hasty to disappear. There was a long silence after that door closed, one where you had your arms crossed as he did his best to not look at you.
The silence unsettled him enough, and he sat down, face burying into his hands. “Don’t look at me like that, Juniper,” he whispered.
“What’s your problem?” you asked simply. He sighed and looked up at you. He looked like he hadn’t been sleeping well either.
“There are reasons.”
“Bullshit.” His eyebrows flew up at that. You didn’t swear at him often. “Are you mad? Is it because Qui-gon’s been spending time with me instead of you?”
“What? No, that’s not it. I’m not jealous,” he remarked with furrowed eyebrows.
“It’s okay to admit that you are. I mean, we’re already on a first name basis,” you teased him, unable to help yourself. You guessed you missed talking to the man the last couple of days as well.
“I’m not jealous!” he insisted.
“If you want to spend more time with–”
“Juniper, he’s not the one in your bed at night. He’s not the one who gets to hold you. He’s not the one who you call when you need backup. What is there to be jealous of?!” he demanded, standing up from his seat with a hand on the table. He was annoyed that you would accuse him of such a thing.
“Wait… Did you think I thought you were jealous of him? Because he’s been spending time with–” you didn’t finish the thought as you watched a deep blush come to his cheeks. Obi-wan kept his eyes steady on you, but you could see the regret sink into his face. You laughed and stepped toward him. “I thought you were jealous because he was spending time with me instead of with you, not in your stead,” you explained. His lips pursed.
“I understand that… now,” he spoke slowly. There was another silence, this one less awkward and more you waiting to tease him.
“If you were jealous of him–”
“I’m not.”
“--then why have you been avoiding me the last couple nights?”
His sigh was heavy. “I thought you would be upset with me about the grounding,” he explained. “And normally, I’d stand there and listen to you be upset, but… With Qui-gon returning and you being upset, I didn’t think I would be able to keep focused on my own tasks.” Not to mention, I didn’t want you to ask me about the Nagaian inquiry that Qui-gon sent you down, telling you that, yes, I know that bounty hunter, he’s your father, and I’ve been lying to you about it all this time.
“Oh. Why didn’t you just say so? I’m sorry I’ve been burdening you. I didn't mean to distract you,” you pouted, a sinking feeling in your chest again. You hated being a burden on people. It started where most of your shit started: deep rooted in some trauma. And it really took hold after one particular moment with Maverick.
You had been with him for a couple months, and though he had been kind, you still had a habit of flinching whenever she reached for you too quickly. You always felt bad afterward because of the pain that tore across his face, but he was patient. He understood. There was one morning where you were late to breakfast, and you heard him talking with Talia.
"--needs time. She'll come around on her own terms."
"What if she never does?" Talia asked.
"Then I'll rest easy knowing I tried my best," was his immediate response. "But if she does, then I'll never know a happiness quite like it." You had turned the corner to look at him. He was a young male, but there was weariness in the form of bags beneath his eyes. He hadn't been sleeping well, not while worrying about you. There was a slight, white stubble on his cheeks. He looked tired. He had been so patient, so kind, and you could see he was trying.
That was the first time you swore to never be a burden on anyone again. Never let them sacrifice their health and well-being over you.
You had been a distraction to Obi-wan; you could feel your stomach churn. He saw the look and your face and rushed forward to cup your face in his hands. His fingers wrapped around the sides of your neck, and his thumbs gently pressed into your cheeks as he made you look up at him. There was worry in his ocean eyes.
"You are not a burden, Juniper." Just hearing your name on his lips was enough to make your heart quicken. "I promise you. Don't you date feel bad about this, my dear. I made my decisions. I will deal with the consequence."
You nodded lightly to him, your stomach still churning.
"Can… can I see you tonight?" He asked softly. There was a long pause before you shook your head.
"I don't think it's a good idea, Master Kenobi," you whispered. Your stomach churned again. He was going to drive himself crazy trying to help you, and you learned long ago that the only one who could fix you was you. The hurt on his face only made you feel worse.
"Juniper," he started, but you stepped out of his touch, eyes downcast. He could see you were clearly pained by something, but he had no idea where the misunderstanding was.
"I'm going to be busy with Qui-gon the next couple days. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to call," you said and briskly left the room as he called out behind you. But you couldn't stay there anymore. It would be easier for both of you, easier if he just stopped trying to help you.
You were kicking yourself by the time you made it back to the archives. In all the excitement of the job, of having him so close to you, of being able to talk to him whenever you wanted, you had forgotten the most important pieces: he was a jedi and there was a war going on. Of course you were a burden to him, pushing your issues on him. Of course he was busy. You couldn't stop yourself from spiralling, thinking about all the time he spent at your side and hating yourself for making him feel like he had to, make him neglect his other infinitely more important tasks just to make you happy. You had never felt more selfish in your life.
You called Qui-gon, confirmed the meeting was set for 5 days from then, and you took the next few days off of work.
~ * ~
You took in a deep breath and turned off the overhead lights from your comm. The stringed lights that draped along your ceiling were softly lighting the room. It was the first night you truly allowed yourself to be alone. You turned your phone off, locked the doors, and only kept the comm with the direct line to the Head Librarian on. It never rang, but you figured in the event of an emergency, you would keep it.
You took in another deep breath and allowed yourself to uncurl from your position against your headboard. Normally, your bed sat in the middle of the wall with a nightstand on both sides of it. But today, you had it pushed into a corner in your room. You knew from experience that it would make the process easier. By a noticeable amount.
Your legs ached as you stretched them out, having been so tense for so long in your ball position. You lay down with your back pressed against the wall. You stared into your dark room for a long while, pulling the space whale plushie closer against you. You don’t know how long you watched the darkness; long enough for your eyes to dry and your jaw to ache from being so tightly clenched. But the next thing you knew, you were waking up to a gentle stroke on your leg.
You couldn’t move. The first reaction you had was a jolt of panic, a hitch in your breath, which you could hear was still heavy and slow and steady. But on the inside, your breath was light and quick and sharp. You could see him. His skin was a pale, molted grey with darker almost black splotches. The tendrils on his head faded into black on the tips. He was one of the Feeorin who didn’t have a nose, but there was a thick scar across that cavity like he had cut it off himself. The tendrils on his face were black. His eyes, however, were a pale yellow. He was smiling at you, and his hand started to run up your leg.
“There, there, little Pyke. Look how well you’re laying for me,” his tone was praising, but his voice was sinister, raspy and low. It sent a shiver down your spine, and tears sprung to your eyes immediately. You slammed your eyes shut, his touch wandering, and you could feel the panic in your heart starting to become overwhelming. You begged it would be a short one, but it wasn’t. Unfortunately, it was a longer one. You were released from the state when the touch had finally moved to your throat. You shot up in bed, gasping for air, and your tears flowed freely with your sobs.
That one was a few minutes long, but it felt like hours. You stayed up for a while after that, trying to calm down, to catch your breath. You automatically reached for your phone, and you had to stop yourself. You weren't going to call him. You would be fine on your own.
You calmed down enough to stop shaking. You weren't sure why, but you figured that you would probably be better if you wore your armour. So you strapped in and got back into bed for round 2. You were going to get through this without him, without his help. You knew it was going to be okay. Logically, you knew this. But as you huddled in the corner of your bed, shaking in your armour, all you could think about was the way Obi-wan smelled of a forest during a downpour and a sea breeze.
~ *~
It was the 3rd night, and you were exhausted. You had barely caught a wink of sleep the last few days. Well, to be clear, you had slept a bit, but all of it was ruined with night terrors and sleep paralysis. It kept your nerves on edge and triggered more due to the stress and sleep deprivation. You felt like you could hardly catch your breath these days. You had only taken your armour off to shower, and you could barely stay awake during that. You only popped into the sonar for a brief stint, not wanting to risk being in a water shower for too long.
It was about midday, you were just about to fall asleep on your couch, when you felt that all too familiar pressure on your chest. You cursed yourself for relaxing so much. You cursed yourself for not staying on guard. You cursed yourself for allowing this to happen. You could hear Garrot’s voice, feel his touch, but you didn’t see him this time. You were grateful for at least that much. Your heart was pounding and you could hear your breath was deep and steady. You fought against the invisible binds that kept you where you were, but the struggle wasn’t going to speed it along. There was a pounding at your door, and you were startled out of your sleep. You gasped for air, jolting up on the couch, and relief instantly flooded you to take over the fear that clutched at your heart.
You stood up and went to the door, thinking it was one of your neighbours asking for babysitting or something. But when the door swung open, your eyes widened.
“What have you been doing?!” Obi-wan demanded, storming into your apartment. He was furious, his eyebrows furrowed, and he turned to face you as you stood motionless, shocked, at the door. “Did you shut your phone off? Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been?”
“What are you doing here?” you managed to gasp out as you slammed your hand on the door pad, closing and locking it in one go. You didn’t need the neighbours to hear you argue.
“Why are you in your armour?” Obi-wan asked, noticing the odd way you were dressed. You shook your head and pointed at him.
“You first. Why are you here? How did you even know where here is?” you asked, your mind still hazey from your exhaustion.
“Anakin gave me directions. Then I got lost, and Ahsoka gave me better ones,” he responded, and you giggled at that. It was just like them.
“Why are you here?” you repeated, a little less angry and just more confused. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He was back in robes since you two had returned to the temple, but it didn’t detract any from his looks. You liked him in robes far before you had ever seen him in casual wear.
“I… I kept feeling something was wrong over the last few days. I figured you would want your space, so I didn’t text you. Then I went to the library to talk to you about it, and they said that you took a few days off. So I texted you. And you didn’t respond. I figured you were just upset. But that day and the next were just as rough, I kept feeling like something was wrong. Everyone I talked to said they hadn’t heard back from you at all, and the Force-sensitive ones said they felt something off as well. I know you’re supposed to return tomorrow, but I couldn’t wait that long. So I came here, and now it’s your turn to answer,” he explained in what felt like one breath.
You stared at him for a long while, wondering how you should answer this. You were so exhausted. And your stomach was churning again because you were slowly remembering how you left things with him.
“I can assure you that I am fine,” you said.
“You look like you haven’t slept in days, and you’re wearing your armour. You most certainly are not,” he pointed out.
“Master Kenobi—”
“Juniper, enough!” he snapped. It startled you, and he sighed, raising a hand to rub the bridge of his nose. When he spoke, he sounded tired. “I don’t know what you’re doing, or why you’re doing it. I don’t know why you’re so insistent on returning back to how we were.” His voice cracked a little, and when he looked at you, those blue eyes nearly broke your heart. “There’s no going back, Juniper. You know this. I—” he stopped himself from saying something, sighing once more. “I know you think you were bothering me, but you weren’t. Our sleeping arrangement was as much for me as it was for you. And there’s just no way I can go from holding you all night long to you calling me Master Kenobi again when it’s just the two of us.” He was practically begging now.
“Please. Please just… don’t.” Okay, so he was begging now.
Your heart clenched, and you had to force your mind to clear.
“Obi-wan,” you started, his name foreign as you had tried so hard to forget how you relied on him. But there was relief on his face nonetheless. “I have been trying to force myself to sleep on my own. To get through my fears,” you explained to him. He looked pained.
“You would rather go through your night terrors than ask me?” he asked.
“It’s… not that simple,” you hesitated, moving to stand in the living room now, closer to him but still a distance between you two. “I… I thought that I was annoying you. That you were forcing yourself to do it because you felt bad for me.”
“Of course I feel bad for you! You can’t sleep without reliving all those horrible things, and I care about you!” he yelled, exasperation breaking through. Your eyebrows flew up, and he froze where he stood. He closed his eyes for a moment, saying, “I… Obviously, I care about you enough to worry about you not being able to sleep. We all care about you like that,” he tried to cover it up. But you were smiling. Your first smile in days, and it was slowly creeping over your face.
“You care about me?” you teased him, and he scoffed to himself before shaking his head. His gaze on you was exhausted now.
“Not a word about it, Miss Pyke,” he warned, and you laughed, stepping toward him. He shook his head in relief and wrapped his arms around you to pull you close as your arms slipped around his waist. His face buried into your hair, and you were enveloped in his warmth and comforting scent; rainforests and a sea breeze.
You stood together for a long while, neither speaking. The only communication was your hand stroking up and down his spine, and his fingers playing at the ends of your hair. Time meant nothing in his arms, but you eventually peeled away from him.
“Let’s get you out of this armour,” he said with a small frown.
“Are you trying to undress me, Master Kenobi?” you gasped at him. A furious blush came to his cheeks, and you broke into a grin. “I would love the help,” you said to assuage his embarrassment.
He helped you take away the pieces of brylark, removed them like he had seen the vode remove theirs so many times before. You collected all of the pieces in your arms, but he had to carry a few himself to stop you from dropping them all. You led him to your bedroom, where he looked around in surprise. You had bookcases and chairs pushed against the edge of your bed, softened by pillows and blankets. It was your little nest of safety.
“Oh… Yeah, ignore that for now… But also, like, if you could help me put everything back where it should be, that would be great,” you said with a big smile at him.
“I would love to help, but I don’t know where anything goes,” he pointed out. As you were putting the armour on your mannequin, you looked at him in confusion. Then, it hit you. This was his first time in your apartment.
“Oh stars,” you breathed as a blush came to your cheeks. Your sleeping arrangement had been at least a little bit more on the safe side because he only ever went to your room in the Temple. But now… he was here. In your apartment. Alone with you. You suspected your blush looked something like his.
“I’m going to shower,” you said and jerked a thumb toward your bathroom. You didn’t have one connected to your bedroom, just one in the apartment, but he understood.
“I’ll… do something,” he said with a motion to all of the things around your bed. You laughed and wished him luck before going to take a very thorough shower. You dried your hair in your sonar, and it felt nice to be genuinely clean. You came back into your bedroom in a tanktop and shorts. He had moved everything to where he thought it belonged, including your bed back to the middle of the wall. He was looking at the pictures you had tacked all over your walls. They were pictures of all of your friends and family. Polaroids and proper photos of everyone in your life.
A picture of you and Maverick dancing when you were young, grins on both of your faces. One of you and Wrecker having an eating contest. A picture of the 212th cuddle pile, your face barely peeking out from beneath Waxer’s arm. Another one where Rex was yelling in your face as you tried to do a pullup. One of you, Anakin, and Ahsoka laughing while cramped up on a couch. There were so many, and all of them were memories you made with them, good and bad.
There were even a few with Obi-wan himself, but his favourite was of one you took together here at the temple. You had faced the camera, winking with a peace sign, and Obi-wan was behind you. You were sitting at a little table with your morning tea and cakes, and he was smiling. But his eyes were on you, not the camera, and he remembered that moment fondly. It was the first time you had baked macaroons for tea time with him. They were chewy, but he loved them all the same.
“Hey,” you spoke softly, but your voice seemed almost too loud in the silence. He turned to you, and you pretended not to notice his eyes flick over your form quickly. “Thanks for coming to check in on me.” He smiled at that and shook his head, telling you that it was no problem at all. You gave him a tour of the place then, and you started to make a cup of tea for you both.
“Maybe you should have a calming one, a sleepy one,” he suggested when he saw you start reaching for the greens. You raised an eyebrow and looked at him.
“Are you trying to get me to sleep?” you teased.
“Yes,” he responded, and that wiped away your tease. He was a man on a mission, and you could see it plainly on his face. He was leaving you no room to argue. You changed your pace and made 2 valerian and magnolia blend. He watched you work with interest. You felt at ease just having him near you, and you could feel yourself starting to grow more and more exhausted. By the time the two of you returned to your bedroom, you were almost too tired to drink your tea.
You tried not to watch, but you couldn’t help yourself. Obi-wan stood up to slowly strip off his robes, and you watched the muscles in his back ripple into view. He folded his clothes neatly and set it on the chair in your room before turning back to you. You were a bit more obvious about your look over his frame. You were always surprised by the scars on the man, and how he was surprisingly muscular. The curtains on your window were tightly drawn, but there was still enough natural light leaking in for you to drink in his form with ease. He slipped into bed beside you and audibly groaned.
“This bed is so much nicer than the one at the temple. Why were you sleeping there so much?!” he demanded, turning onto his side to face you. A blush came to your cheeks.
“Well… you were there,” you muttered, feeling particularly candid with him here beside you now. Exhaustion was dragging your body into the mattress, and he could see you struggling to keep your eyes open. He smiled and shook his head, a hand slipping over your hips to pull you closely against him. You allowed the movement, scooting forward to bury your face into the warmth of his neck. Your heart ached with how badly you had missed this, and you hadn’t felt this peaceful in a very long time.
You were asleep before you could thank him and wish him a good rest.
He smiled against your hair, eyes closed as he breathed in your scent. He was as comforted by yours–aloe and apples–as you were by his. He stroked your hair, feeling the way you relaxed in his arms but didn’t move your arm away from holding him against you. He shook his head as he pulled back just a little to trace his gaze over your features. He could see the dark stress circles beneath your eyes, and it hurt him. But everything was okay now. He had you in his arms, and everything was okay.
“Sleep well, my dear,” he whispered and kissed your forehead gently, and he watched as you smiled in your sleep and snuggle in closer to his neck. He sighed and closed his eyes, finally able to relax and get his own peaceful sleep in days.
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skyywalkerfen · 6 years
Note
If you are still taking kiss.meme prompts; 14 for obiqui?
~~~
He couldn’t think. For a long, long moment he couldn’t even breathe. “You’re going to what?“
“Take Anakin out of the Temple. He – ” Qui-Gon’s serenity was holding. Strained but holding. “The Temple… This is not the correct place for him.” Qui-Gon’s shoulders were set beneath rumpled beige tunics, his back straight as he stood in front of the window in Obi-Wan’s quarters, his face to Coruscant’s eternal traffic. “I was wrong, Obi-Wan. He should not be a part of this Order.”
The floor cracked beneath Obi-Wan’s feet.
[also here on AO3]
“You’re saying – ” Obi-Wan gulped, breathed,and released his utter shock into the Force. Or enough that he could think again, anyway. “You’re saying that after all this – after three years of battles with the Council to keep him here and you nearly dying to get him here in the first place – that you were wrong.” After pushing you and I to the breaking point –  “That Anakin is not meant to be a Jedi.”
“Oh, he is meant to be a Jedi, that is no mistake. But not here.”
“ … here.”
Finally, Qui-Gon turned. “I’m not taking him out of the Jedi, just out of this Order. I’m taking him to Master Altis,” he said, as calmly as if he hadn’t just announced his plans to shatter Obi-Wan’s world.
All the air had gone out of the room. “Djinn Altis. The break-away.” The renegade. Hundred little gods of space, he needed to sit down. Now.
Obi-Wan yanked a chair to him with the Force and sank into it with little grace, and stared at the man who’d been his teacher. “You’re going to take your padawan out to Force only knows where, to be trained by the heretic.”
“We are not a religion, Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon said with a touch of asperity, “the term ‘heresy’ doesn’t apply. Altis believes – ”
“I know what Altis believes!” Obi-Wan snapped, something hot and dangerous firing under his skin. “He thinks a master can somehow handle more than one student at a time! He thinks adults can be trained! He believes attachments are good, Qui-Gon – if that’s not heresy then what else would you call it?!”
“Perhaps sanity?!” Qui-Gon snapped back, before he caught himself and breathed, his anger released in a heartbeat.
“Sanity.” This just got better and better. Obi-Wan’s childhood bad habit of grinding the heels of his hands against his eyes, long since rooted out, was making a viciously successful comeback. “Oh, Force.”
The low sounds of boots across the floor, Qui-Gon’s Force-Presence settling in front on him. “Obi-Wan.” Familiar voice. Beloved voice. Soft, even; familiar tones that asked for his attention.
His own anger released to the Force, what Obi-Wan had left was exhaustion.  He let his hands fall into his lap and blinked at Qui-Gon, now crouched in front of him. Looked at the craggy, familiar face as though he’d never seen it before.
“What are you doing, Master? What is this?” Please tell me something, anything, that makes sense, some kind, any kind of sense, please don’t destroy – “This flies in the face of the Code, of everything we’re for, everything you ever taught me.”
“Does it?”
Oooh, no. “Don’t,” Obi-Wan said tartly. “We’re not playing that game now, Qui-Gon. Answers, please.”
A hint of a smile beneath the mustache. “Obi-Wan. Think. We were taught, you and I and every crècheling, about the dangers of attachment. How to serve the Force was our highest and only goal. We should love nothing but that, have nothing more than that; nothing close to us that we might serve, through love or fear, above the Force. Why? Because we are powerful, and dangerous with it. Divide loyalty with attachments and there is no peace – there is havoc and destruction. So we are raised and taught not to love but in the abstract, and so we believe, and it has apparently worked in the Order for a thousand years.”
Obi-Wan swallowed again, catching on specific words and phrasing. “'In.’ ‘We believe.’ Master, a thousand years would seem to imply some level of success.”
The skin around Qui-Gon’s eyes crinkled. “It would.”
“Then why…?”
“Why do I question it now? Because I’ve come to realize what it is that has felt wrong to me for many years. That in a way, a quite fundamental way, our rejection of attachments is a lie.”
“A lie –!”
“Sssh, no, wait.” Qui-Gon gripped Obi-Wan’s knees and squeezed, gently. “Wait. It’s a lie, Padawan, because we are attached, all of us. To here. To this. To the Order and what it has, all it holds. It is parent and sibling and teacher, with the Code as law and lifeblood. And it has worked because we are not truly giving up attachment, merely trading one form for another.”
Qui-Gon’s conviction was a solid pillar in the Force. All Obi-Wan could do was stare at him.
“We keep our emotional security, our connections, the things we tell ourselves we do not keep, right here. Here, with the only family most have ever known. And no matter where the Force guides us, we retain that – we know that our family is here. And that it will be here no matter what happens to us as individual Jedi.”
The big hands on his knees squeezed again. “This is our attachment, Obi-Wan. Our bedrock. And this is what Anakin does not have.”
Yes, staring was still all Obi-Wan could do.
“This is why he is different and why he is not thriving here. He had – has – family, foundation, support from which I – deafened by the Force and my own blindness – took him away and gave him nothing to replace it with.”
Obi-Wan blinked. Which was progress, he supposed, but his stomach was twisting in a most peculiar way. “But – he has the Order now too, he… ”
But Qui-Gon was shaking his head. “The Order – does not support him,” Qui-Gon said softly, “not truly. And you know this; I believe that you feel it as I do.”
And the Sith-hell of it was, Obi-Wan did feel it. Had become aware of it every time he was back in the Temple, and how it had shifted. Grown.
The – “holding away,” sensation, subtle and yet not, when Anakin’s name was mentioned. How rarely the boy was spoken of in terms of the great leaps and strides he’d made and the things he knew, but rather in the things he did not yet know – as though it was Anakin’s “fault” for not becoming instantly a proper Jedi child and crèche-raised padawan. As though his ease and blaze and instinctive confidence in the Force were unbecoming because it was not the Order which had fostered them.
Distrusted. Feared, almost.
The way Anakin was “disapproved of” in correct, properly serene Jedi fashion.
Oh, Obi-Wan knew that feeling, from the inside out.
Most peculiar was rapidly becoming utterly horrible.
“I must,” Qui-Gon said, “I must, find the way to give him that support before it’s too late. I cannot do it – alone, and I cannot do it here, where his needs contradict the very tenets we teach.”
Obi-Wan was back to staring, now with the interesting addition of a sick, sour stomach. “And you think – Djinn Altis can. You would take your padawan and give him up. After – ”
 After you gave me up for him.
“Not give him up, no. We would both learn there, Anakin and I. I don’t know – when I would return.” And there was something there, something seeking, something pleading in the depthless indigo of Qui-Gon’s eyes and Obi-Wan just couldn’t look at it anymore.
He knew his master when he got like this. He knew. He’d seen it before, after all, time and again: the only words that hadn’t yet been uttered were “It’s the will of the Force.”
“Why are you telling me this, Qui-Gon?” he whispered, his own eyes closed, the words falling like stones in the space of his tiny common room. “You would have been better – to just leave.”
A small sound, a tiny shift of air like a reach, ruthlessly stifled. “Because… “
Silence. In words and in the Force.
And that brought Obi-Wan’s eyes back open, because Qui-Gon Jinn was never at a loss for words.
His old master was looking through him, deep-water eyes fixed to some point on Obi-Wan’s right shoulder, and unease tickled through Obi-Wan’s mind and Force-sense because Qui-Gon looked…
“Because I had a hope,” Qui-Gon said at last, slow and worn, “a foolish one perhaps, I see, that I – might not need to do this alone.”
“Alone?”
“I wanted… ” Resolution, firming in the Force, and Qui-Gon’s gaze rose to his. “I want you to come with me.”
Obi-Wan would be willing to swear later on, on those most revered Jedi texts frozen forever at the top of the Spire, that his heart – disobedient organ, irrepressible, eternally hopeful past any reasoning and all sanity – actually skipped a few beats before his training clamped down and wrestled it back into line. “… with you?”
This was unreal. Even for Obi-Wan’s “maverick Master,” this was far out and beyond Wild Space. That Qui-Gon would ask him to – “You want me to leave the Order, and come with you, to help you train your Chosen One as a heretic.”
“No.” Qui-Gon’s mouth tightened, but he didn’t protest the term again. “Not to train Anakin. I have been and always will be grateful for the help you’ve given me with him. Your support, your knowledge – your unfailing kindnesses with him – have been beyond price, and still more-so in the light of the needless pain I inflicted on you at the start.”
Obi-Wan took a careful breath, his heart giving another warning thump. They had worked that through long ago, he and Qui-Gon. He knew Qui-Gon’s regrets, but rarely had his old master stated them so plainly. “I have done only what is right, Qui-Gon. Anakin is blameless in all that; I’ve welcomed him as any Jedi would do.”
Qui-Gon’s mouth pulled up in his familiar, wry half-smile. “Were that true, Obi-Wan, we’d not be having this conversation at all,” he said, humor rumbling in his voice and warming in the Force and hundred little gods, would it be the last time Obi-Wan would feel this?  Feel him?
Because Qui-Gon was utterly set on this course, that was plain – and in his reasons ran a thread of truth that Obi-Wan couldn’t deny. That felt true, as much as all his training wanted to recoil from it.
And Qui-Gon – wanted Obi-Wan with him, on this course, in this madness. To leave the Order and take up with the break-away Jedi Master who had himself left because he believed that no one should be denied Force-training because of age. Who believed that attachment was not always, automatically to be denied – that it was possible – that it could be good – for a Jedi to love. Not just as in the Force and compassion for all, but love in specific: for a parent, or a child or a family. A dear one.
For a desired one. For a –
For a lover.
“Obi-Wan?”
Obi-Wan blinked and found Qui-Gon closer, up on his knees and warm body pressing against Obi-Wan’s, concern on his face and those powerful, gentle hands gripping Obi-Wan’s forearms. Enormous hands, really – capable hands, whether wielding a lightsabre or a delicate teacup, or pressing tiny seeds into the gossamer-fine soil-medium he used to add yet another plant to the jungle of his quarters.
His teacher’s hands, now the hands of his /wished to be, oh!/ closest friend. His –
Obi-Wan stared into blue eyes. Serene, so loving: the same things that had been there for literally years whenever Qui-Gon had looked at him. “Why?”
It was Qui-Gon’s turn to blink. Well, he was past-due.
Something was lightening, cautiously, in Obi-Wan’s chest, fueled by that stubborn, ever-resurrecting hope. “Why me? There are other rebels in this Temple and they’re better suited to this; why are you asking me to come with you?”
“I have told you – ”
“You have not,” Obi-Wan cut him off, and Qui-Gon stilled. “You’ve told me why you’re going, and you’ve told me that your reason for asking me is not because of Anakin. And if that’s not the reason, then what is? Why me, Qui-Gon?”
Qui-Gon’s lips parted and closed again and something clicked deep in his throat, and this was surely some sort of record: twice speechless now, a man who was never, never at a loss for words. And in the Force…
The Force felt – tense. Anticipating. A kind of nervous trepidation Obi-Wan had in no way ever associated with this man. And beneath that, long obscured but growing stronger, something old and cherished but never sprouted was blooming now into a new growth, pushing up from beneath the snow.
Obi-Wan turned his hands and cupped his former master’s elbows, and leaned a little nearer. His fingers were trembling, he realized. He didn’t care. The air he breathed was full of Qui-Gon, and he pulled it in deep and held it. “Why me?”
This close, Qui-Gon’s eyes were like flame, so intensely blue they burned. Then they were too close, and the world blurred and went up in fire as Qui-Gon kissed him.
They were on the floor, kneeling together, locked tight body to body and Obi-Wan had no clue when that had happened and cared far, far less. The only reality was Qui-Gon Jinn, in his arms, kissing him. Drowning him in joy and love and lust in the Force and kissing him as if he, Obi-Wan Kenobi, were the most precious and desirable thing in the galaxy.
It felt like years, but the sun was little lower in the window when Qui-Gon pulled back. Not far; only enough to cup Obi-Wan’s face with those wonderful hands and lean their foreheads together, his breath warm and real across Obi-Wan’s skin. “That’s why,” Qui-Gon murmured; roughly, like something had been broken and was being remade. “That’s why.”
Obi-Wan’s smile felt like it would split his face. “You’ve always had a way with words, my Master.”
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rickrakontoys · 6 years
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Star Wars - The Last Jedi
A wierd, different, unexpected, uneven, but ultimately satisfying episode in the franchise.
****SPOILERS**** this is going to be looooong….
The Good - The filmmakers took a lot of chances and risks here and I am happy that they did. They showed us new things that we’ve never seen before, and presented a plot that subverts your expectations to lead the characters to new journeys and arcs. - Luke was terrific as a dejected former jedi master who’s past failure led him to exile. Some fans may have wanted him to remain some kind of power fantasy character who just uses the Force to… blow Star Destroyers up or some shit, but here he plays a believable interpretation of a teacher who failed his students and is suffering from deep regrets. He came to that isolated island “to die” as he says, but his arc here follows the theme of “learning to pick yourself up even in the face of terrible failure". Despite being an old curmudgeon now, he is still recognizably Luke Skywalker. Mark Hamill gives his best performance here. And his final “battle” at the end is badass, surprising and clever, not to mention showing us a new use of The Force (which in my mind totally makes some sense). If the dead can project their image through the force, why can’t a living jedi? That Luke acts quite dramatic when facing Kylo Ren as a “hologram” is just funny. Luke’s journey ended in ROTJ. Here he plays one final part in the story of this galaxy. “See you around kid” he says to Kylo. Perhaps he is saying it to us as well. - Leia has a lot of unexpected scenes here… namely, her use of the Force to save herself from what would have been a deadly experience! This felt at first like it came out of nowhere, but Leia has previously shown to possess some strong connection to the Force. Her character is out of commission for a chunk of the movie, but Carrie Fisher does give a very subtle and poignant performance here. How they will reconcile Fisher’s passing for Episode 9 will remain to be seen… - Rey and Kylo’s journeys here compliment each other and are amazing. You honestly don’t know how things will turn out, since they tease both of them being pulled away from their respective sides of the Force often here. Their direct connection to each other through the Force was new, and gave us some very interesting scenes where they talk and interact despite being worlds apart. Kylo gets much more development here, and does some rather unexpected things. He is both sympathetic, and detestable. He is still very much a tortured young man lashing out at the galaxy. Rey mostly plays the role of the student in search of a teacher. She goes looking for Luke, finds him, but he ain’t having it at all, and just lets her hang around for a bit to her disappointment. She eventually takes her own initiative and sort of earns Luke’s respect for it. - We perhaps learn who Rey’s parents are, and it was as I wished: they are nobodies who sold her off as a kid then died in a shallow grave on Jakku. I would have HATED if they were somehow someone we already knew… Rey’s importance isn’t through blood but through her own initiative. She even admits to knowing all along but being afraid to admit it. Daisy Ridley is still fantastic as Rey. I like her even more than before! Kylo can satisfy the Skywalker bloodline requirement of the series in this new trilogy. Let someone else be the hero for a change. - Kylo just straight up murders that silly CGI Supreme Leader Snoke and I love it. Snoke was just Palpatine-lite, and Kylo is clearly the more interesting villain the new series should focus on. Who cares who Snoke was… nobody really cared who Palpatine was in ROTJ… he too was just an evil overlord who gets killed by his apprentice (until Lucas devoted 3 movies to him…). This feels like Rain Johnson cleaning up after JJ Abrams. Snoke was silly and I’m glad he dies unclimactically after only 2 movies. - Poe is a lot more hot-headed here than in the first movie, though we didnt really spend much time with him in TFA. He gets an arc here too though, which also fits in with the themes of the film. His actions get a ton of people killed and essentially cripples the Resistance, but he learns from his mistakes eventually and becomes a better leader for it. - The general theme of the movie being moving past one’s failures is interesting here since it let the filmmakers subvert so many tropes. Most of the plans the Resistence people enact all lead to disaster. In fact, their desperate flight from impending doom through the entire movie felt quite harrowing. Unlike ESB where the rebels successfully escape Hoth to live and fight another day with minimal losses, the Resistance here is absolutely wrecked and continue to be destroyed through the entire runtime. How they will recover from this remains to be seen, and we now know nothing about where this story will go in Episode 9 because of how screwed they are by the end… Meanwhile the First Order suffers from their own failures, but appear too smug about themselves to see their own hubris. They could have easily wiped the Resistance out, but choose to slowly chase them, as if to let the rebels witness the loss of all hope. It doesn’t exactly backfire, but instead renews the rebels fire to fight back. - There is a lot about the Force here that evolves the Star Wars mythos a bit. From the old Jedi texts, to Luke admitting that the Jedi doomed themselves long ago in the prequels, we see Star Wars moving past Jedi and Sith and becoming something different. I’m glad they didnt rely so heavily on what only was shown before with respect to the capabilities of a Force user or the nature of the Force in general. People may not like this, but the change is welcome. Also… YODA!!!! Slightly crazed puppet Yoda!!! He’s still teaching Luke new things. Wished ghost Obi-wan also appeared somehow… but that may be going too far. - The battles and duels in this movie were spectacular. The lightsaber fight in Snoke’s throne room? One of the best fights in the series… it was exciting and realistically choreographed, flashy without being excessive (like the prequels). A good balance between the fights in the OT and prequels. Seeing Rey and Kylo battling Snoke’s guards in a long take, shot clearly with the static angle… magnificent. Plus we get to see Kylo at full strength as opposed to crippled in TFA. He takes on multiple enemies at once, while Rey struggles with one guard. - The cinematography here is in general quite lovely. Rian Johnson loves his wide shots, and fills them with a beauty not often seen in these movies. There are some gorgeous shots here… from Holdo’s weaponized Hyperspace maneuver, to Luke’s standoff against the AT-ATs, and his final scene looking to the twin sunset that recalls the similar shot on Tatooine long ago… the use of color throughout makes for a very pretty movie. - We get flashback scenes here oddly enough… which we never got in other episode films. Plus, Rian wasnt afraid to venture into other types of shots and scenes, like a minor use of slow motion. They let the filmmmakers inject their own style into the movie. - The porgs were thankfully not too obtrusive. They are just sorta there to annoy Chewie. Chewie roasting some for dinner while they watch horrified was great and rather morbid. - Seeing Luke on the Falcon again, and his scene with R2… very poignant, and melancholy. They somehow manage to use Leia’s old message to Obi Wan to further Luke’s character development. - The battle on the salt planet Crait was neat. They make you think there will be some Hoth style battle against the AT-ATs, but its ultimately subverted by having the Resistance not even have a remote chance at all of doing any damage due to their lack of useful weapons. Finn tries the heroic sacrifice but… eh… Rose saves him and ends up letting the First Order blast a hole in the base. The hopelessness is really driven far here. - It took until the ending for me to realize Poe never was introduced to Rey ever. Also, did Rey steal the Jedi texts from that tree Luke planned on torching? You see some books in a drawer that Finn takes a blanket out of on the Falcon. Perhaps Rey will use them to help revive the Jedi order? - The last scene of the movie was an odd one to close out on… some orphans talking about Luke Skywalker like some legendary hero… then one of them uses the force to grab a broom? The Force is alive in others! Hope always survives! A bit on the nose but it makes you contemplate the future beyond the current heroes. The Bad…. - Finn and Rose’s entire subplot was superfulous and kind of terrible… I could see how it ties into the theme of the movie (hatching a clever plan to fight the First Order that ultimately fails spectacularly, but they keep fighting anyways), but that didnt stop it from being rather dull. Canto Blight felt out of place… like you were watching Harry Potter or the Hunger Games. And the whole animal horse chase thing fell kinda flat… - Benicio del Toro is in this… he plays some wierdo hacker (slicer?) with a stutter. He ultimately amounts to very little. He’s played convincingly, but only added to the superfulousness of Finn and Rose’s subplot… - In fact… that whole subplot was what damaged this movie severely. It is clearly the weakest part of an otherwise interesting film. How they come up with the plan to infiltrate the First Order ship to disable their hyperspace tracking device thing felt halfbaked. Finn and Rose spout some technobabble that feels straight out of Star Trek, then decide to gungho this odd mission. They threw Maz Kanata in there for a moment for no reason… why would Finn and Poe ask her for help? Finn barely met her. Does Poe even know her at all? All of this coulda been avoided if Vice Admiral Holdo just told Poe about her and Leia’s secret plan at the start! - Rose is gonna be divisive…. she feels like a fan stand-in character. She fangirls over Finn, goes on an adventure with him, and is suddenly in love with him? Sure I guess… i suppose i could buy that, considering she was previously some unseen common worker for the Resistance meeting a “celebrity”. Finn didnt seem to react much to her kiss though. His heart seems out for Rey. - Rey just casually dropping herself off at Snoke’s ship felt a wee bit too convenient… then after the battle in the throne room she just… appears back on the Falcon. Jarring, despite the attempt to explain it. - Phasma is used so little i wonder why they bothered making her a unique character at all… to sell toys? She gets a badass fight where she dominates Finn, but then seemingly dies in a fiery pit. Maybe they will make it a running gag that she keeps coming back? I hope she survived and returns later anyways. We get to see Gwendolyn Christie’s… eye. Yay? - The music here plays off established themes from the OT and TFA, which is fine, but otherwise there really isnt anything new here. Rose gets a new leitmotif at least. They use Palpatine’s theme during some Snoke scenes too, but is it meant to suggest they are related? - Honestly, the middle of the film just drags too long, and its all due to the Finn and Rose scenes. I get they needed to have Finn do something, but was that Canto Blight stuff necessary? That they just fly off somewhere then return to the fleet chase later kinda trivialized the whole scenario. They also introduce an idea that weapons manufacturers are profitting off the perpetual war between empire and rebellion. Neat, but they don’t really explore it further… feels like that belongs in a different movie… - The beginning of the movie focused a lot on Rose’s sister despite us not knowing much about her. Just kinda an odd choice? Those rebel bombers that just drop bombs on top of the dreadnught are also kinda dumb… most of the rebel fighter craft are decimated right off the bat. Summary: It may take more viewings to see where this truly stands qualitywise in the series. The Force Awakens definitely flowed better and had better pacing, but this one was more inventive and introduced us to newer concepts and was less predictable. Apart from the weak Canto Blight subplot and some other plot goofery, the film works. For now, I think it can give it an 8.5/10.0. I respect the hell out of them for doing some ballsy things that they know will rile part of the fanbase. Franchise rankings (out of 10): ESB & ANH 9.0 (fresh and with a truly lasting legacy) TLJ 8.5 (for evolving the franchise) RotJ 8.25 (a good close to the OT but imperfect) TFA 8.0 (overly familiar beats but still fun) ROTS 7.0 (flawed but sort of gives more weight to what happens in ROTJ) Rogue One 6.5 (very flawed, kind of a mess) TPM & AOTC 5.0 (some parts of it i like, the rest is nonsensical or dull) People seem to forget how different ESB was from ANH. This is the case here compared to TFA. I think its neat how each trilogy has its own unique feel and energy. I only hope JJ Abrams grows beyond his shortcomings in Ep. 9 and gives us something also unique and fresh.
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kokos-story · 6 years
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Never Have I Ever
Hanako was in her dorm room late one night, getting ready for bed when something weird happened: Her phone chirped out a text notification. She paused, genuinely confused. Who the hell’s texting me? She wondered. She had never given her number to anyone, except for-
Oh
Right.
She had given it to Niko, the four-armed class rep.
She’d forgotten about that. 
The blonde sighed as the phone buzzed incessantly. Niko must have added her to some group chat. Deciding she had nothing better to do, she unlocked her phone and began scrolling through the barrage of texts.
Spooder has added Transfer to Tutant Meenage Neetle Teetles
Spooder: WELCOME HANAKO!
Truther:Hi!
Demeter:Welc 
Actual Ray of Sunshine:My goodness, hi Hanako!
Be More Chill: ‘Sup
Yell: HI!
Pears: Hey
Pippin: W E L C O M E
Pupper: Hello
Obi-Wan: Hi, Hanako!
Transfer:I um
Transfer:Hi?
Spooder:Don’t get intimidated by the amount of yelling.
Spooder: It’s not always this loud
Yell:Yes, it is
Spooder: Shut it,Haruto!
Yell: Yes, ma’am
Transfer: Why is my name Transfer?
Transfer: I moved to your class like three months ago
Spooder changed Transfer’s name to Iron Stomach
Spooder: Better?
Iron Stomach:....sure
Spooder: Anyway
Spooder: I forgot to add you until now, and we have some plans for tonight if you’re in
Iron Stomach: Uh...sure? What did you guys have in mind?
Spooder: Well, it’s just a little thing. We’re bored and want to play Never Have I Ever. We wanna get to know each other better
Iron Stomach: Um...
Truther: Don’t worry, I’m making sure no one brings alcohol. We’re doing shots of soda instead.
Iron Stomach: Oh, um. Okay
Spooder: Great! We’re outside your door 
Hanako looked up from her phone with a start as a loud, enthusiastic knock resounded on the door. She opened it to an excited Niko and her trusty friend, Touma. She half-heartedly rolled her eyes as the two dragged her downstairs to where the rest of Class 1-A was waiting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Time Skip~~~~~~~~~~~~
The game has started off innocently enough, with a lot of things to choose from and Touma (Quirk: Lie detector) keeping people from lying. However, an hour into the game, the statements were getting more and more specific to certain people, which everyone thought was pretty funny.
With it being her turn once more, Niko leaned back in her chair with a smirk.
“Never have I ever...” She paused, looking Kami dead in the eyes ”eaten dog food as a meal!”
Kami glared at her as soon as the words left her mouth, their classmates giggling at the two of them. “Niko, you know damn well I’ve never eaten dog food! Bloodhound is just my alias!”
“Toumo, he’s gotta be lying, right?!”
“Am not! That’s nasty!”
For Hanako, however, the argument sounded muted and distant as she stared at the shot glass of soda in front of her with a sense of anxious dread building in the pit of her stomach. I could always lie and not drink it. She thought, though that idea was stopped in its tracks as her eyes flickered up for a quick glance at Toumo. But Toumo would see right through me and call me out on it anyway. She added grimly. With that, she took a breath, steeled her nerves, and grabbed the shot, downing it in one and slamming the glass back onto the floor.
The thud of the glass snapped everyone’s attention away from the arguing duo and over to Hanako, whose trembling hand still clutched her now empty shot glass. She kept her head down, refusing to make eye contact with the rest of the group, though she could feel their questioning gazes burning into her.
After a couple minutes of stunned silence, Niko was the first to speak. “Yamada-san? Are you being serious?” She asked softly, sadness in her eyes at the trembling girl before her. “Toumo, please tell me she lying!” She whispered frantically, eyes darting to her friend, who only shook his head. The rest of the class watched as Niko knelt in front of her, gently taking the glass away with one of her left hands and moving to place her right set on the girl’s arm, freezing as she violently flinched away from her.  The blonde scrambled away from her grasp and stood, facing away from the group.
“Hanako, I just want to know, why?”
There was another silence as Hanako contemplated the simple, yet complicated question. 
“I...”She paused, taking a steadying breathe, “I have to eat a lot because of my quirk, y’know? I’ve never had a steady source of food.” She paused, steeling her expression. “But you do what you gotta do to survive.”She added, her features cold. She roughly shoved the hand that was resting on her shoulder away and stalked away, not looking back at her classmates as she left. “ I’m going to bed.” She called in a forced casual voice. “ Wouldn’t want to be tired for training tomorrow.” She added, exiting the lounge, leaving her stunned classmates with even more questions about the transfer student. 
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The Last Jedi, or SOMEONE REALLY SHOULD HAVE EXPLAINED HOW ANAKIN FELL TO LUKE IN A WAY THAT WASN'T SPOKEN IN RIDDLES.
Spoilers ahead but also some meta. I don't know how to add a line break/cut on mobile.
I loved the last Jedi but some stuff about luke's character bothered me. He felt ooc from what his character arc ended with in ROTJ. Granted this is a man haunted by failures and the death of legit everything he worked for, but I even then it felt out of character for Luke Skywalker, the Jedi who brought anakin back from the dark side, to believe that killing his nephew was the only thing he could do to stop his fall. That's not the man who almost died because he believed his father had good left in him, even after all the crimes Vader committed.
So here's my theory: back when sidious was manipulating anakin, the Jedi council missed HUGE signs that something was up with Anakin. They knew there was sith involved, but didn't suspect it was palpatine. (Despite the FLASHING NEON WARNING SIGNS). All they knew was that anakin was a shatter point, a dangerous one (still should have trained him harder and maybe not let him get all cozy with palpatine in ways NO OTHER JEDI WAS REALLY ALLOWED, but I digress.) But not how he played into it. Or how palpatine played into it. This is because palpatine was able to manipulate the force enough to cloud even the foresight of yoda. He was virtually untraceable in the force. This made him able to plant seeds of doubt in anakin's mind that over the course of the clone wars were one by one confirmed.
Seed one: padme would die. Palpatine manipulated anakin's force visions to constantly torment him with visions of padme dying. Anakin's love for her, which was a good thing and could have done wonders for the order, became instead a tool of control. Anakin would do anything for her.
Seed two: the Jedi were corrupt and wanted power, and didn't think him worthy enough to be a Jedi knigt, and that the Jedi were turning from their own code and becoming hypocritical. Palpatine manipulated the way anakin viewed the council and its actions. As more and more death came of the Jedi actions throughout the war, anakin slowly began to have his doubts confirmed. The loss of his padawan, Ahsoka Tano, to the machinations of another padawan who had lost faith made anakin even more wary of the Jedi. Palpatine used the destruction of the war to frame the Jedi order in an even worse light. When Obi-Wan was no longer immediately at Anakin's side to ground him and help him see clearly, Anakin was weak to Palpatine's influence. It came to a head when the council tried using him as a spy on palpatine, because by then Anakin believed palpatine to be a loyal and sympathetic friend who shared his doubts about the order and would listen to his problems. He saw the jedi council's caution as hypocrisy and a power move. This escalated when, upon revealing the identity of the sith lord to them, mace windu did as Jedi usually do with sith and IMMEDIETLY went to confront him. Anakin saw this as betrayal- a peace keeping order that supposedly fought for justice was going to murder a man that had otherwise been a good person and strong leader throughout a bloody and destructive war. There would be no trial, no negotiations. Just straight up slaughter. This confirmed what palpatine had been feeding him about the Jedi order; they wanted power. This is why he was so quick to jump to Palpatine's aid. The jedi had been lured into a position where they looked like the villains.
Seed three: isolation. Because the war was wrapping up by episode 3, the Jedi were spread out. Anakin didn't have his padawan to distract him as she left the order herself. He wasn't always able to see padme, and despite the fact they were unstoppable together, He and Obi-Wan were not put on the same campaigns. The lack of friends around himto bolster his bonds and make him stronger in the light side allowed for palpatine to slip into anakin's mind. He slipped seeds of distrust and doubt about Obi wan and Padme , both of whom were taking stands against palpatine in ways the chancellor manipulated in anakin's mind to look sinister. Obi-Wan was a Jedi loyal to the council; padme was one of the senators most outspoken against the chancellor's draconian laws and regime and the sudden powers he's was wresting that seemed to turn him autocratic. ( mind you that Anakin was a long time soldier in the war and saw all of palpatine's increased powers and official decrees as necessary. The war was bad. )
So though the failure of the jedi to perceive the manipulations of palpatine, both the force influenced ones and ones he manipulated through his actions ad grand chancellor and leader of the Republic army, the jedi had fallen into a trap where their most powerful student felt utterly betrayed by the order that saved him. It didn't help that they had somewhat alienated him during his training, treated him with less respect than he believed he deserved, and many high council members straight up didn't trust him. It also didn't help that by that point in the war the Jedi had become more combative than peace keeping. Mace windu struck first, asked questions later. It seemed a far divide from how Jedi were supposed to do things.
Now, one would think that yoda would have passed this knowledge onto Luke during his training so that Luke didn't make the same mistakes. But luke fell for the same trap as his teachers.
1.) He saw ben's power and aggression and instead of teaching him proper ways to handle it, reprimanded it, which created tension between himself and his nephew that Snokes could easily manipulate from frustration between student and teacher to outright hatred.
2.) He failed to sense Snokes manipulating ben's mind through the force. And even then failed to adequately guard his students from the dark side.
3.) Snokes was able to use ben's frustration and growing resentment to begin to isolate the teen just as palpatine did to anakin. We see ben in his own little shack, with o other students. This is not how Jedi typically function, where every student was together in shared spaces. Luke seemed to contribute to the isolation of Ben, which made him easy prey for snoke.
3.) Snokes planted seeds of doubt into Ben's mind that distanced him further from luke. He no longer saw luke's lessons as helpful or even purposeful. He began to see the training of the Jedi as laughable to those teachings of the sith. The more luke struggled to reign in Ben and teach him, the more hypocrisy Ben saw.
4.) I'm of the opinion Snokes manipulated luke himself. Luke failed to see the struggled Ben was undergoing, the torment Snokes was putting him through. Instead he saw a teenager falling deeper and deeper into the darkness. He began to believe that Ben could not be saved. This is out of character for luke, who we saw struggle with the dark side and draw anakin back to the light. I feel like, as with mace windu, whose mind was clouded and who could not sense the deeper machinations of sidious, only that there was a sith and they needed to be disposed of, luke was lured into believing the only way to stop Ben's descent before it reached critical mass was to destroy him. That sort of thinking is dark side thinking l. The nagging doubts in luke's mind that told him killing was the only answer? That's the dark side. That's fear taking control and manipulating him. Only, luke realized too late that he was falling dangerously close to the dark side. He realized it only when he went to slay his nephew while he slept, stopping at the last minute with a "Holy shit wtf am I doing?"
5.) Unfortunately he still walked right into the trap because at that moment Snokes pulled the strings. Luke never got the chance to explain because Ben woke up to find his uncle standing over him with his lightsaber. In that moment all the lies and manipulations and doubts snokes had been feeding him were confirmed. He defended himself against his attacker and betrayed by someone who was supposed to guide and protect him, fell to the dark side.
So yeah. Luke fell to the same trap the Jedi Order did. Let's hope rey doesn't do the same. Like, yoda confirming that everything Rey needs is inside her ND also she took the Jedi texts, things that CLEARLY no one has read in a damn long time, might actually help prevent this from happening again. I like how yoda is like "we were meant to pass on our successes, and our greatest failures." And honestly I think Rey will be able to actually learn something from Luke's failure. I'm not sure if she will be able to destroy Kylo Ren by bringing Ben Organa-Solo back to the light side (or to the light side for the first time ever). It was kind of clear Kylo Ren, now turned loose without Snokes pulling his strings, is now completely chaotic. He truly is the dark side made manifest; driven by passionate hate and lust for revenge, out of control and hell bent on destroying everything to dominate it all. But at least Rey will know the true extent of what a sith lord can do, and how deep manipulation goes. At least now she knows personally that the dark side is tempting, it promises answers, but what it delivers really conclusions she could have drawn for herself and eventual ruin. She fell for 2.5 seconds, and found that the dark side did not answer her questions, did not give her what she wanted, and only left her with the conclusion she had already known, but didn't want to admit to herself.
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inkognito97 · 7 years
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Can we get the next part of female!Obi-Wan being pregnant? :)
Part 4 of the Female Obi-Wan Au
The other parts can be found here
Ever sinceher son started to kick inside her stomach, Qui-Gon was full of enthusiasm. Ithad started almost unnoticeable, with him sending little Force tendrils towardsthe growing child, which always reacted. The healers confirmed what the tall malesuspected, Obi-Wan’s son was indeed Force sensitive. They had proposed to testit, but in order to do so, they would have to take a sample from the child andObi-Wan had immediately denied it. If Qui-Gon was honest, then he would haveprotested had his Padawan agreed. The whole procedure they had to undergo, hadeven unsettled his stomach.
“You looklike you are going to be sick,” stated Obi-Wan after they had left the medicalhalls. Every since her pregnancy, motherly instincts had started to take overand sometimes expanded over him too.
“I’m fine,”he grumbled, earning him an amused giggle from the smaller Jedi. He smiled indulgentat her and threw his arm over her shoulder.
“You know,”Obi-Wan could not stop herself, “for a moment I feared you might fallunconscious on me.”
“Don’tworry dear one, it will take more than that to get rid of me,” he winked.
“Damn it, Ithought I would finally get away from you with this,” she teased right back.
Qui-Gon hadto fight a smile, “Didn’t your Master teach you, that life is never easy andthat the easy way is often the wrong one.”
She hummedand tilted her head as if in thought, “No, not that I remember. He is more the ‘livein the moment’ and ‘screw the Council’ kind of guy.”This time the long haired man could not help but laugh. “If it weren’t for yourpregnancy, you insolent brat of mine, I would have you run the training groundstill evening meal.”
“What apity that I am not allowed to,” she pretended to be truly disappointed.
“Why do Inot believe you…” he let the sentence trail off.
“I don’tknow Master, perhaps we should ask Master Tahl, when we visit her and Bantlater. I am sure she knows the answer.”
Qui-Gonhuffed. They had visited Tahl’s quarters more often the last few days, weeks actually.It was just more comfortable, for both Qui-Gon and his Padawan, to let theNoorian handle some things. The long haired male was very grateful for hisfriend’s help.
“I am sureshe will, as always,” he easily agreed.
“I hate you,”a not at all amused ginger haired female said in a stern voice. Qui-Gon almostbelieved her.
“And why,princess?”
She shothim a highly annoyed look. “Remember, when I said that I keep you awake, shouldHE not settle?” The Jedi Master nodded hesitantly, not sure where thisconversation was going. “Well, prepare for a night full of suffering.” Shedeadpanned.
Qui-Gonblinked at the serious threat, before he realized what his apprentice wassaying. “That bad?”
“You haveno idea,” she was fidgeting where she was sitting. “I feel like my inside isabused as a ball.
The oldermale winced in sympathy. Perhaps he HAD overdone it in the young one’s stimulationtoday. But he also had an idea on how to settle the child again, if Obi-Wanwould allow it that is.
He clearedhis throat awkwardly, “I could… I could tell him a story,” he shruggedhelplessly.
Blue-greeneyes shot him a calculating look. It was clear that she wanted nothing morethan to hit her Master, but her Jedi training was probably all that kept herfrom doing so. “I hope, for your sake, that it works.”
Again Qui-Gonwinced. He did NOT want to know what would happen to him then. He had thefeeling that it would be cruel and gruesome. “Very well.” And thus he began histail of old Jedi legends, his own days as Dooku’s Padawan and everything elsethat came to his mind. His voice kept an even level, urging the little one tocalm down, while spinning his tales. And eventually, Obi-Wan relaxed.
“He will befixed on your voice,” she whispered after the tall Master made a brief pause todrink something against his dry throat.
He gave hisstudent a small smile, before leaning down again, rubbing her stomach gentlewith his hands and talking in a soothing tone. In all honesty, he did not mindthat the child would recognize his voice and therefore be fixed on him. It madehim feel humbled, it made him feel as if he would and COULD remain a part inObi-Wan’s life, even beyond their current Master-Padawan relationship.
It didn’ttake long after this, for the baby to completely quiet down and even Obi-Wanwas on the verge of falling asleep. With an indulgent look on his beardedfeatures, Qui-Gon picked his princess up and carried her into his bedroom,before putting her down onto the bed. He covered her and put a kiss to herforehead.
“NightMaster,” she mumbled sleepily, before yawning and succumbing to the land ofdreams.
Qui-Gonwould stay awake for a few more moments, taking care of some unresolved things,nothing too serious, but it needed to be done. With a sigh, he left the room.The worst about this all, was being chained to the temple. He missed his freedom,the missions that would bring him to one end of the galaxy to the next. Hemissed travelling, but he would not abandon his Padawan, not now, when sheneeded him the most.
“What inthe name of the Force is that?” Qui-Gon could not help but ask at the countlesscartons and things that had been delivered to his and Obi-Wan’s quarters. HisPadawan in question, was standing right behind him, but moved forward, openingone of the boxes.
“It seemed,that the crèche is unable to take care of such a young child and the Councildeemed it better, if we were to take care of Ani.” She showed him the datapadshe had found.
The Mastertook it from her fingers and quickly read the text written on it. He scowled.It was not the thought of taking care of a newborn that made him grumpy, butthe fact that the Council did not even deem it necessary to talk to him – andmore importantly – to Obi-Wan about this at first. Of course Qui-Gon knew thathis Padawan, would want to look after her child, especially after having tocarry him for nine months, but the Council didn’t. Also, it would have beennice to ask.
“Frowninglike this will only cause more wrinkles,” said the female Padawan.”
Qui-Gonblinked and gave his student an annoyed look. “I remember you, when you haveyour own Padawan, princess.”
“I don’tthink that will happen anytime soon Master…” she hesitated, “though I have afeeling that Ani is going to be just as bad, perhaps worse.”
“Ani?” heasked.
“Anakin,that’s eh… that’s the name of my child.” The ginger haired female played withher braid and avoided his gaze.
Almostimmediately, midnight blue eyes softened and he stepped forward to wrap hisarms around the smaller frame. “It is a wonderful name,” and he truly meant it.The smile he received was blinding.
“Though Iwonder,” the Padawan began, her eyes travelling over the boxed, “do we haveenough room for all this.”
A sighescaped the bearded man, “We will make room.” He dreaded the day, he had tomove furniture to fit a crib and other baby related furniture. Then again, hemight just use the Force to do it.
“I hadthought about putting the crib in my old room, this way, you won’t be disturbedwhen Anakin needs something.”
“Nonsense,dear one. I promised to be there for you and of course for Anakin, andtherefore I am going to share this responsibility as well. Let us put the cribin my room, at least until your little one is old enough to be alone.”
“The roomtemperature needs to be higher though,” she mumbled, still leaning against hischest.
A groanescaped the older man. He hated warm rooms, he actually preferred the cold, butfor the two most important beings in his life, he would endure. “You can stayin my room,” he finally decided.
“Good,”there was mischief in her eyes, “that makes it easier to steal your clothes.”
Qui-Gon dida double take at that and only now he noticed that the tunic his student waswearing, was indeed one of his. The sleeves were rolled up and it was sittingrather lose.
“Padawan…”he began, not sure what to say to this.
“Mine won’tfit anymore,” she turned bright red in embarrassment and turned her head awayfrom him.
“Ah,” henodded his head in understanding. He knew that this would be a sensitive topic,Tahl had told him as much. “Well, enjoy wearing a Master’s clothes, even if itis just for a brief time. It won’t happen again after that.”
“Master,”her tone was unreadable, “your tunics look exactly like mine. There is nodifference in their style.”
“I know,but they still belong to a Master,” he grinned.
“You areunbelievable,” she chuckled and shook her head, but at least the embarrassmentwas forgotten.
“Don’t denyit, that’s the only reason why you put up with me,” he joked.
“Yeah,” sheagreed easily and her laughter increased, when she was pulled tighter againstthe strong body of her father figure.
“Brat,” hesaid with a healthy dose of affection in his voice. He looked at the boxes andwondered, not for the first time, if he was really the right man for the job.If he was honest, then he had no idea about the caretaking of children soyoung. But Obi-Wan seemed confident, then again, she had read a lot books anddatapads and she had talked with healers and Tahl. She seemed to know enoughfor the two of them. Still, he should do some research on his own. After all,it was only a bit more than two months that remained. He took a deep breath,hoping that his female student would not notice. The real work would only beingnow, with curses on what to do, when the baby finally decides that it is timeto enter the cold and unyielding world. He would need to be present then too,he had promised Obi-Wan. Still, he dreaded the day, knowing that he would notbe able to interfere if something were to go wrong. Qui-Gon closed his eyes andrested his chin on ginger locks. He prayed to the Force, that nothing would gowrong, he would never forgive it, if something were to happen to his preciousdaughter in all but blood.
He did noteven know where those fears were coming from. They had just appeared at somepoint. He shook his head briefly to clear his thoughts. “Well then, let us getthese things organized.”
“Yes Master,” Obi-Waneasily agreed and together, they set to work, using the Force to move theheavier objects…
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gawayne-replies · 7 years
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91 Questions
Oh lord. Thank you @selkatha​ for tagging me in this!
THE LAST – 1. Drink: Water
 2. Phone call: My dad trying to get me to fix the internet 3. Text message: "'A tomato was a foodstuff that could be thrown.'" (a quote from Wookieepedia) 4. Song I listened to: "The Battle Of Gall" by Joel McNeely 5. Time you cried: Monday at 4 am, reading the Kanan comic
HAVE YOU EVER –
 6. Dated someone twice: No
 7. Been cheated on: No 8. Kissed someone and regretted it: I guess but not really in the way you're thinking 9. Lost someone special: Not really 10. Been depressed: Always 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: No
LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS –
 12. Vantablack 13. Regular black 14. Dark red
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU –
 15. Made new friends: I guess, sorta? 16. Fallen out of love: I’ve never fallen in love so that would be difficult 17. Laughed until you cried: About once a week in math class 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yeah, but in a pretty neutral way 19. Met someone who changed you: I started watching Rebels. So yes 20. Found out who your true friends were: Sure, I suppose
MORE – 
 21. Kissed someone on your facebook? Don't have a Facebook, would never kiss someone who has a Facebook 22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? None, don't have Facebook 23. Do you have any pets? Two cats, Leeloo (mine) and Snowpaw (my sister's) 24. Do you want to change your name? Yeah, I guess, idk 25. What did you do on your last birthday? Literally nothing 26. What time did you wake up? 12:30 pm 27. What were you doing at midnight? "Writing" 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Bubble tea 29. When was the last time you saw your mother? Like two hours ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? No more mental illness 31. What are you listening to right now? The Office 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? Probably? 33. Something that is getting on your nerves? The stupid post I have to do on my other blog 34. Most visited site: Either this one or Wookieepedia
SCHOOL – 
 35. Elementary: Alternating years of Good and Hell. So much fuckin snow like that's my clearest memory. So much snow. A mostly-functional education system, that was nice. I went to like five different schools and each had something worth talking about but that'll take too long. (One of them practiced paganism, as it turns out). I moved in the middle of it. Just a very dense time in my life. Too much happened. 36. Middle: Mostly blank. I remember like three things and the rest is a blur of anxiety and dissociation. This is about when I realized that teachers don't actually know stuff, especially if you choose to hire teachers who don't know stuff. 37. High: So far, dislikeable. About half my teachers hate me cause I never do work and the others think I'm a model student (hint: no). I never have to take gym again, though, so naturally I replaced it with philosophy. I can now tell you exactly when the sun rises every morning, thanks J-block band. The third floor became gay this year. 38. College: I'm thinking Waterloo right now, but who knows I might just die instead? I'll probably study either chemistry, astrophysics, writing or music, or philosophy or maths. Who knows?
ME – 
 39. Hair color: Pink, but it'll be mint by next week 40. Long or short hair? Quite short 41. Do you have a crush on someone? Never 42. What do you like about yourself? About half my brain 43. Piercings? Just ears 44. Blood type: AB+ I think 45. Nickname: Occasionally Sherlock, but I mostly get called Daddy Binks these days (or Long Beef Binks, or Daddy Long Beef) (don't ask, you don't want to know). Some people call me Obi on occasion, which doesn't actually come from Obi-Wan as one would expect 46. Relationship status: Single 47. Zodiac sign: Virgo 48. Pronouns: I use she/her but I honestly don't care, as I recently found out 49. Favorite TV show(s): Brooklyn 99, Rebels, Clone Wars, Arrested Development, Parks & Rec 50. Tattoos: Nope 51. Right, ambidextrous, or left-handed? Right-handed
FIRST – 
 52. Surgery: Nope 53. Piercing: Ears 54. Sport: Climbing, since I was 3 55. Vacation: Texas? That wasn't really a vacation per say but we never go on vacation 56. Pair of trainers: Well I'm sure I had one, probably, but what does this want? They were probably blue?
CURRENT – 
 57. Eating: Nothing 58. Drinking: Nothing
 59. I’m about to: Eat, practice, work on stuff 60. Listening to: The Office
FUTURE – 
 61. Waiting for: Death. Or bubble tea 62. Want: Bubble tea, and death 63. Married: Nah 64. Career: Idfk. Either something to do with space, something to do with science, both, something to do with writing or something to do with music.
YOUR TYPE – 
 65. Hugs or kisses? Hugs, but those are also generally bad 66. Lips or eyes? Eyes. Unless the lips are playing something really cool 67. Shorter or taller? Idc 68. Older or younger? Romantically, I'm guessing? My age would be better? 69. Nice arms or nice stomach? I don't give a shit 70. Sensitive or loud? Sensitive, I guess. Just not loud 71. Hook-up or relationship? Neither, preferrably 72. Troublemaker or hesitant? Hesitant 73. Kissed a stranger? Depends on your definition of stranger 74. Drank hard liquor? Nope, so far I only like white wine 75. Lost contact lenses/glasses? Don't have them 76. Turned someone down? I don't think so. If I have I can't remember 77. Sex on first date? Nah 78. Broken someone’s heart? Doubt it 79. Had your heart broken? Not romantically 80. Been arrested? No 81. Cried when someone died? All the Jedi at the end of ROTS. Jacen Solo. Chewie. And my dog. That should have gone first, I'm thinking. 82. Fallen for a friend? Nah
DO YOU BELIEVE IN – 
 83. Yourself? Only at 5:30 in the morning
 84. Miracles? Not really 85. Love at first sight? No 86. Santa Claus? No
 87. Kiss on first date? Sure, whatever 88. Angels? No
OTHER – 
 89. Current best friend’s name: Holly 90. Eye color: Blue/grey 91. Favorite movie: Rogue One, ROTS, Planet of the Apes, Megamind, Star Trek: Beyond
Alright, I'm gonna tag @kenobi-and-barnes, @classy-mantis-shrimp, @crazy-tracyn, @freya-emrys, and anyone else who wants to (seriously you can if you want, I just can't think of people rn).
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thenerdparty · 6 years
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Star Wars: The Last Jedi - Review by Matthew Rushing
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Two years ago Star Wars roared back into the collective consciousness of the world as The Force Awakens dawned a new era for the saga. The installment left many viewers speechless and eagerly anticipating this return to a galaxy far, far away. Luckily in this era of Disney’s rule, the wait was only 2 years (with a nice side of Rogue One in the middle) for Rian Johnson’s addition, The Last Jedi.
Context
First, let’s start historically. It is clear that the original “Rebel” generation was unsuccessful in passing on it’s values to the next, as the galaxy has quickly descended back into the universe of pre-prequel. A government that became ineffectual, split into populists and centrists, all the while allowing the First Order to rise, unchallenged because, they’re not really a threat. “Relax, the First Order is the JV squad”. The greed and corruption in the galaxy has returned to what we saw in the prequels, as people line their pockets with ill gotten gain, selling weapons to the highest bidder, on any side. It all boils down to this one truth not being clearly passed on, “freedom isn’t free”, and sadly there are too few in the galaxy who seem to understand that.
Where are you getting all of this, you might ask? Well, not from the movies. All of this has been cobbled together from the ancillary materials that have come out surrounding this new sequel trilogy and that’s only, vaguely been hinted at in the films themselves. The main issue here is that The Force Awakens did very little to set up the context of the galaxy and now The Last Jedi suffers even worse because of it.
Think back to the Original Trilogy, as you watch those movies, you have an instinctive understanding of who all the characters are as well as the overall context of the movies because Lucas based them on archetypes that we know. The heroes’ journey, an evil empire and a a small group of freedom fighters looking to rescue the galaxy. In the Prequels, it’s the fall of a Republic and the story of a man that cannot let go and will do anything to hold on to what he “loves”. Each of these previous trilogies gave us the context we needed to know about the universe as a whole and the characters so that we could understand the journey we were on.
And here’s where this all comes into play, not just with the world building but with the characters. Not only do we not truly understand the state of the galaxy, but we also don’t know the history of these characters and it’s clear the writers of the film don’t either. Say what you will about Lucas, he always knew the history and the future of his creation. Some details may change along the way, but the journey ended up much the same. The same can be said for Rowling with Harry Potter , she knew the end from the beginning, so she understood what each character needed to go through to get them to that end.
It’s been clear from The Force Awakens and now through to The Last Jedi that there is no knowledge of what the end game is for their characters. Writing 101, if you don’t know their past and future, you don’t know how to write their “present”. You can see this in the all of the characters. Take Snoke. We have absolutely no idea who or what he is. We don’t know how he came to power or seduced Ben Solo, he’s a vague phantom menace so that when he goes out like a punk in this movie… well lets just say fans may be arguing whose death was better, Snoke or Boba Fett. Oh and remember Phasma? Well don’t worry, you don’t really need to, turns out she wasn’t all that important any way.
Ben suffers from this same problem we saw with Snoke, he’s completely ill defined and so is his “fall”. As with The Force Awakens, there is still no context to his story other than him having darkness in himself and somehow, Snoke temps him to the dark side. It’s all so nebulous that when he turns on Snoke, I don’t know what to make of it. There is no weight to his decision because I don’t know enough of the history of the character to actually care.
As bad as this issue is for Ben, my first impression was it was worse for Rey. The ultimate mystery box seemed to still be very much an enigma. The answer we get about her family was vague and unconvincing, I still don’t believe she’s a nobody and while I am frustrated that they skirted the issue of her family, I can see why they sidestepped that to make the focus, who she chooses to be. Her struggle for identity is fascinating. The questions of who we are, is it a product of bloodline, upbringing or are we a sum of our choices and experiences is brilliant. I think the movie comes down on the side of choices and experiences and the idea that personal responsibility is the answer is outstanding. Rey shows us that even though we are personally responsible for ourselves, we are also responsible for those around us, to look after one another, teach each other, guide one another, pass on hope to one another and the chance of redemption.
The most damaged in all of this is Luke Skywalker. We know Luke’s past, how he saved his father, who’d effectively become space Hitler, because he believed there was still good in him. By the end of Return of the Jedi, Luke is the culmination of the collected wisdom of Anakin, Obi-Wan and Yoda but greater because he avoids the mistakes of the past and forges a true, new path for the Jedi. But then, we get nothing. Oh we know Luke started a new Jedi Order and thought he could help Ben, only to be scared by his raw power and darkness. Wait, really? This is the same guy who redeemed Vader but can’t find a way to help Ben? Luke was right, “This is not going to go the way you think.” It’s as if the history of Luke has been forgotten. Now, I get the idea that Luke, like Obi-Wan, feels the pain of taking too much on, but at least Obi-Wan didn’t try to murder his student in his sleep and gave him a chance to change before delivering the “killing” blow.
Now, all that said, the lesson Luke learns about failure being part of life and how to deal with it, is actually a timely one. In life, failure is the best teacher. Yet, again, Luke’s past should have prepared him for this, his knowledge about Anakin and the help of force ghosts like Yoda, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon, should have been able to help shepherd him through this ordeal, instead of running away to an island to die, screaming, “get off my lawn” to anyone who comes calling.
It is interesting that Kylo and Luke are actual after the same thing, Kylo wants to burn it all down and so does Luke, but for different reasons. Kylo because of his anger at everyone and everything and Luke because of his own hubris. He sees the Jedi as a failure, as well as himself, yet he’s blaming the wrong thing. In the end, it’s people and their choices that lead them to the dark or to the light, not the teachings of the Jedi. The Jedi texts and code are only a guide, that applied properly, promote peace, prosperity and hope in the galaxy. Over a thousand generations is not a bad run. Even though Luke gives Rey a lesson in humility in relation to the Force, it seems much to learn, he still has.
All of the issues I do have, stem from there being no direction for this trilogy. With no clear plan or endgame, this is what is left, each installment trying to make sense of the last, leading to it not always having fullest depth or payoff. This is post modern story telling at it’s worst, characters and plot without history and context that could have been more cohesive with planning.
Pass on What You Have Learned
Just as the galaxy and the characters in the movie lack context, the original characters fail to pass on their wisdom to the next generation and Luke is the biggest offender here. He seem incapable of passing on what he has learned as Yoda told him to. He’s driven by fear to almost kill Ben, and then the same fear leads him to reject training Rey for most of the movie. When he finally does train her, there is no depth or true substance to what he offers. You’d think someone with access to the original Jedi texts and a few good force ghosts would be able to provide more guidance than what we see.
Just because one has talent at something, does not mean they don’t have to practice, be taught and hone their skills. Rey is never given any of this, in the end, she’s forced to intuit who she should be for herself and from who Luke was, in the Original Trilogy. This may fit into the post modern world of “make your own way and your own truth”, but it’s not Star Wars. Lucas himself said,
“Star Wars has always struck a cord with people. There are issues of loyalty, of friendship, of good and evil…I mean, there’s a reason this film is so popular. It’s not that I’m giving out propaganda nobody wants to hear…Knowing that the film was made for a younger audience, I was trying to say, in a simple way, that there is a God and that there is both a good and bad side. You have a choice between them, but the world works much better if you’re on the good side.”
Lucas is clear, wisdom is meant to be passed on, the wisdom of failures and of triumphs.  It’s what both Obi-Wan and Yoda both do for Luke. Yes, they were wrong about Anakin, but that does not mean they didn’t have wisdom to share. Proverbs reminds us, “Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise.” And the place to find wisdom is through, as Job reminds us, “Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?” Lucas was once asked how he felt about the human condition and he said,
“I am very cynical, as a result, I think the defense I have against it is to be optimistic and to think people are basically good, although I know in my heart they’re not.”
It is clear that he understands that wisdom and goodness must be passed on and taught because they are not something we are born with’. Sadly Rey is left to find her own path, alone. Hopefully the books she saved from the force temple will give her some guidance, now that she is the last Jedi.
Luckily Rey seems to instinctively understand what Luke did at the end of Return of the Jedi, the Jedi are the embodiment of hope and light in the galaxy. Rey allows people to be defined by their choices, not their bloodline or possible history. She does not lose hope in that person’s chance at redemption until they make the choice to turn away from it completely. At that point, she stands on the side of the light, in it’s defense and in the defense of others. I think this is what is frustrating, is that I still feel like Luke should have been the one to show her this and he does, it’s just the Luke from the past not the present.
The only one in the movie doing any actual mentoring is Leia. Her relationship with Poe is a good example of passing on what you have learned. She gives Poe responsibility and then takes the time to discipline him, instruct him and trust him all over again when needed. Sadly the story is muddled with the interjection of Admiral Holdo, but it’s still the best example of someone passing on what they have learned to the next generation and it actually changing the character being taught.
The Movie
The plot of the movie is all over the place. The most glaring issue is with the Resistance story line. They don’t seem to know what to do with them, in the least and it leads to the worst “chase” scenes since Speed 2. There is no logic to what is happening. In space, there is no weight, so it’s all about thrust. If the First Order ships can create enough thrust, they could catch up to the Resistance ships. Another possibility is having a ship jump into the system, in “front” of the Resistance (it’s three dimensional space so there really is no “front”) and take them out. Now here is where context comes in again. Because we have no idea how big the First Order is, are we to assume that all the ships chasing the Resistance are it? And even if they are, could they just not jump “ahead” of the Resistance fleet and be done with it?
Another massive plot issue is why Admiral Holdo refuses to tell Poe and the rest of the Resistance her plan. Does she suspect a saboteur or a spy and that’s why? Well, we’ll never know, because the movie gives us no indication what she is thinking. It just creates a bad plot reason for Poe, Finn and Rose to come up with their alternative plan, to give Finn something to do.
As mentioned above, in the previous section, context creates a maelstrom of issues revolving around the plot points between Luke, Snoke, Rey and Ben. This leaves us with not always feeling the fullest weight behind who they are, the choices they make and who they become as the movie ends.
I enjoy the music, the effects are wonderful except that Yoda puppet, not too keen on his look. The design work is not bad here. Canto Bight is cool, but why is it in the movie and why is that not the story for the Resistance? Going to Canto Bight to try and rustle up support for the cause seems like a much more intriguing idea than the universe’s slowest chase. And would it kill the sequel trilogy to have some aliens we know from the rest of the series? What’s it going to take to get a freaking twi’lek in this series?
Another point of contention in the movie is the humor. Lucasfilm seems to be taking a page from the Marvel playbook and has inserted humor everywhere. Humor in itself is not a bad thing and the Star Wars saga is replete with funny moments, but The Last Jedi pushes it too far. So much of the humor that works in Star Wars is the dry, sarcastic kind that is exemplified in The Empire Strikes Back. Here, it feels forced in many places such as the constant porg jokes, Poe’s ribbing of Hux or Finn waking up in a clear suit and leaking fluids everywhere as he walks down the hall. It just does not feel as organic as it needs to, to truly work. The Star Wars franchise has it’s own rules on how things work in it and as Gareth Edwards said, 
“There’s such a fine line in Star Wars, if you go just slightly to the left it’s not Star Wars, it’s another sci-fi movie that doesn’t feel right. And if you go slightly to the right, you’re just copying what George did. So trying to navigate this thing where it’s new but feels fresh was like the dance that was the process of making the film.”
Conclusion
The Last Jedi suffers under the burden left to it by The Force Awakens. With no clear trajectory or plan for this trilogy, Johnson works to forge his own path but it’s one fraught with plot holes and many times, muddied character motivations. The universe, as it stands, lacks cohesion, history or context and it’s hurting the story. I love that Johnson tired to be different and some of it really works now that I have seen it a second time, while other parts still fall very flat. I love some of the moments in the movie, especially Luke’s noble end and the strong work done with the Rey/Ben/Luke story but Abrams has his work cut out for him with Episode IX. I never thought I’d say this, but J.J. Abrams, you’re our only hope. The Last Jedi is rated 2.75 out of 5 stars.
Don’t miss Matt on Aggressive Negotiations: A Star Wars Podcast and Owl Post: A Harry Potter Podcast! 
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How to Write a Reaction Paper With Precision -
 How to Write a Reaction Paper With Precision
Post
Are you the type of person to passively read your assigned text only because you have to?
Or do you dive right into it and react with the same intensity any self-proclaimed Star Wars nerd would react to this climactic scene?
No matter which category you fall into, knowing how to write a reaction paper can help you explore literature more deeply and connect to characters. And believe it or not, it can also give you the opportunity to actually enjoy your school assignments.
Regardless of how much you like or dislike the book you’re reading for class, writing a reaction paper can be a little challenging, especially if it’s your first time writing one.
But not to worry—I’m here to break it down by showing you what a reaction paper is and how to be a Jedi master in your paper writing.
What Is a Reaction Paper?
Before we get into how to write a reaction paper, you have to know what it is. In its simplest form, it’s pretty much exactly what it sounds like—a paper that expresses your reaction to a certain piece of literature.
Not so fast! There are other components that you need to include to make sure you not only get a passing grade on your reaction paper, but that you succeed with flying colors.
To really write a great reaction paper, one with precise language and structure, there are a few things you have to include… and a few things you should avoid.
It can be easy to just ramble when discussing your reaction, which is definitely something to steer clear of. You want to include your response to the literature, but not to the point where that’s all the paper is about.
Instead, add some support from the literature to give more substance to your response.
On the other hand, you might go the opposite direction and turn your reaction paper into an analytical essay. And this, whether or not it’s well-written, is not the assignment.
So stick to the assignment, and follow my advice to make your writing awesome.
Success Happens Before You Write
One of the biggest things that determines the outcome of your reaction paper is not the writing itself—it’s what you do while you’re reading. If my assignment were to react to an aspect of the Star Wars trilogy (the original trilogy, that is), I would watch each installment more closely and more fervently than ever.
Take notes while you read
Taking notes as you read literature is helpful for just about any essay, but for a reaction paper, it’s crucial.
Writing down your initial reactions at the end of every chapter—along with any questions you might have about the plot, the characters, etc.—will help you to later develop those reactions into more cohesive and impactful writing.
Annotate anything that makes you react
“When I read a book, I tend to annotate it.” by Jose Camoes Silva, Flickr.com (CC BY 2.0)
Whether it’s writing in the margins or on sticky notes, annotating phrases, sentences, or paragraphs that make you react can give you a quick reference for your support later.
Used in combination with the notes mentioned earlier, you’ll be all set to write your paper without having to re-read the entire novel looking for that one quote.
You’re probably going to take way more notes than you’ll use in your paper, and that’s fine. It’s better to write something down and not use it than to not write it down and wish you had. Taking notes will benefit you in many ways:
It will help you sort through your ideas and find the ones that have a common theme.
It will make the writing process easier and more fun.
It will help you engage more with the text.
Re-read if you have to
Don’t be afraid to re-read certain sections of the book later to get better clarity and evolve your reaction a little bit more. Some students don’t like reading the text the first time, so they surely don’t want to spend even more time re-reading it. They just want to write their reaction paper and be done with it.
Don’t be that person. It won’t get you anything but sub-par grades.
Of course, the more detailed your notes, the less time you’ll have to spend re-reading, so use whatever combination of these strategies works best for you.
How to Write a Reaction Paper
Now that you’ve read, re-read, and have compiled all your notes and annotations, it’s time to start the writing process.
Brainstorm ideas
Before you begin the actual writing, it’s helpful to get all your ideas out on paper. Brainstorming can be done in a number of different ways—including free writing and mind mapping. Whatever method you use, brainstorming allows you to do an idea dump without any predetermined structure.
This is an important step. (It might even be the most important thing you take away from learning how to write a reaction paper!)
Right now, all you have is your initial reaction and any relevant annotations. Brainstorming gives you a chance to reflect on those initial reactions and develop them into something more paper-worthy.
My brainstorming session might include points about different Star Wars characters, that scene when Han cuts open the Tauntaun’s stomach and puts Luke inside, the Force, and other things I noticed while watching the trilogy.
From my brainstorming, then, I realize that the theme of good vs. evil shows itself in various ways.
Make an outline
“Thinking about visual outlining” by Sacha Chua, Flickr.com (CC BY 2.0)
Once you have all your ideas out, you should put them in order, so you know what you’re going to write about. Plus, it helps make sure you don’t forget anything.
During outlining, you choose the precise topic for your reaction paper—unless a topic is specifically assigned to you. Typical topics include a theme, character, or plot point.
An outline is a powerful tool in any writer’s arsenal that allows you to plot what you’re going to write about in the introduction, each body paragraph, and the conclusion.
Assuming my reaction paper was about the theme of good vs. evil in the Star Wars trilogy, my outline would look like this:
Introduction
Hook
Thesis statement
Intrigue and relatability to Luke’s struggle
Light side and dark side of the force represent good and evil.
Luke struggles between the two.
Confusion at the death of Obi Wan Kenobi
Obi Wan doesn’t die the way one might think. He simply disappears, and Darth Vader’s lightsaber passes through where he was just standing.
Darth represents evil, and Obi Wan represents good. This made it seem like evil was conquering good.
Could be argued that Luke represents good.
Yet he has his own internal struggle, coming out as good, but isn’t purely good the entire series.
Conclusion
Throughout the original trilogy, I had a roller coaster of emotions as to how the battle between good and evil would play out. While I hoped it would turn out for good, there was always a careful balance between the two.
External (Darth Vader and Obi Wan) and internal (different sides of the Force pulling at Luke) struggle between good and evil.
Develop a strong thesis statement
Once you know what you’re going to write about and how it’s going to be structured, it’s time to start filling in the blanks of your outline.
If you haven’t already, now is the time to develop a thesis statement. This tells the reader precisely what you’ll be writing about, but leaves the support and smaller details for later. Consider your thesis statement to be kind of like a preview.
It’s important to note that many teachers will lower a grade significantly or even give a failing grade if there is no thesis statement. So be sure yours is in there!
The thesis statement for my Star Wars reaction paper might look something like this:
The battle between good and evil can be depicted no better than in the original Star Wars trilogy. Luke is an intriguing and relatable character as he battles the internal forces of good and evil. Obi Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader engage in a battle that, while confusing at times, perfectly positions pure good versus pure evil.
Don’t forget your evidence
Once your thesis statement is done, it’s time to start writing the rest of the paper. I can’t stress the importance of support enough. Without it, you’re simply offering an opinion piece, not writing an academic paper.
You may have included some details of your support in your outline, but don’t be afraid to really synthesize the literature to show why you reacted the way you did.
And of course, once you’re done writing the body paragraphs, you need to wrap it up nicely with a conclusion. This paragraph should be brief, about the size of your introduction, and restate the intention of your paper, including any new information you didn’t preview in your thesis statement.
Still Need a Little Help?
It’s okay if you don’t get it on your first try.
Getting familiar with how to write a reaction paper takes some time. (Tip: Check out some example reaction papers for idea inspiration.)
And even if it’s not new for you, editing your own work doesn’t always work out as well as someone else looking it over.
Luckily, the Kibin editors can help proofread and edit your essay so that your instructor will have a positive reaction to it.
May the force be with you.
Psst. 98% of Kibin users report better grades! Get inspiration from over 500,000 example essays.
About the Author
Eden Meirow is a self-employed freelance writer with a passion for English, history and education. You can find her on Google+.
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thefabulousfulcrum · 7 years
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Full Text of Remarks by Top State Dep’t Official Discharged by Trump’s White House–Tom Countryman’s Powerful Farewell Address
via Just Security
By Ryan Goodman
Last week, six top State Department officials were suddenly discharged by the White House—an Undersecretary, an acting Undersecretary, and four Assistant Secretaries—without notice and without even a nominee selected to replace them. Tom Countryman, who served the nation for 35 years and at the time as Assistant Secretary of State for International Security and Nonproliferation, was in Amman booked to fly to an international meeting on nuclear arms control when he received the discharge and orders to turn around and fly back home. Earlier this week, Foreign Policy’s John Hudson wrote about Countryman’s farewell remarks to former colleagues which Hudson described as a “soaring and thinly-veiled critique of President Donald Trump’s foreign policy.” It is that and more, including a powerful message to public servants in this administration to keep the faith in our Constitution and in their work on behalf of the national good. With Countryman’s permission, Just Security is reproducing the full text of his remarks.
Thomas Countryman Remarks at Retirement Ceremony (as prepared) January 31, 2017
Thank You! When I entered the State Department, I never intended to rise high enough to merit a retirement ceremony. And when it occurred to me that I had, I pictured instead an off-campus bacchanalia. But now we’re here, and it is altogether fitting and proper, and I thank you.
Some of you have asked if recent events have left me disgruntled. The answer is No; I am probably the most gruntled person in the room.
When Ambassador Robert Pelletreau retired 20 years ago, he said “The State Department doesn’t owe me anything. It has given me everything.” It is the same for me. In my very first tour, the Department gave me more than I could ask for in a lifetime. It sent me to Belgrade, where in 1984 I met my wife, Dubravka Trklja, the greatest thing ever to happen to me. She reminds me often that she could have had a better husband, but I suspect she feels what I feel so strongly: that I could never have had a better friend. And as a result, I have something else, the only thing for which you should envy me: Stefan and Andrew, the two best sons and the two most remarkable young men anyone could have.
The Department gave me and my family the opportunity to see the world, and not just as tourists. It allowed me to see the reunification of families divided by the Iron Curtain, and to see Israelis and Palestinians negotiate face to face. I saw – and contributed a little to – the restoration of democracy in Serbia. And for the last few years, it’s given me the chance to speak for the United States about a priority shared by eleven successive Presidents: reducing the risk of a nuclear holocaust.
This career gave me a constant resurgence or energy in the form of bright young officers with brilliant careers ahead of them, people like Rafik Mansour, Patrick Connell, Daniela Helfet, Seth Maddox, Lizzie Martin and David Kim. It allowed me to work for Ambassadors legendary in the Foreign Service (some of them here today), like David Anderson, Dick Miles, Barbara Bodine, Emil Skodon, Patrick Theros, Skip Gnehm, Frank Wisner, Bob Pelletreau, Marc Grossman and Charlie Ries. From them I learned the four words central to diplomatic success: “High Road, Hard Ball.” And it gave me the great honor to stand beside exemplary Secretaries of State like Madeleine Albright, Colin Powell, Hillary Clinton and John Kerry.
The Department gave me the chance to be part of, and to lead, amazing interagency teams at Embassies abroad, in the European Bureau and at the White House. These were great organizations, but it was only when I spent a year and a half in the PM Bureau, and five years in the ISN Bureau, that I came to fully value the true strength of the Department, a Civil Service cadre every bit as talented as the Foreign Service. It was perhaps my highest honor to learn from, to guide, and to take credit for the accomplishments of the deepest bench of experts in any agency.
The State Department owes me nothing. But we still owe America a lot. We still have a duty – you have a duty – to stay and give your best professional guidance, with loyalty, to the new Administration. Because a foreign policy without professionals is – by definition – an amateur foreign policy. You will help to frame and make the choices.
Because that is WHAT we do.
Our work is little understood by our fellow Americans, a fact that is sometimes exploited for political purpose. When I have the opportunity to speak to audiences across this amazing land, I explain “We do not have a Department of State – we do not have a foreign policy – because we love foreigners. We do it because we love Americans.”
We want Americans to prosper, to sell the world’s best food and the world’s best products everywhere in the world. We want Americans to be protected and safe when they are abroad, whether they are missionaries, tourists, students, businessmen or (for those you have done consular work) the occasional false Messiah.
We want Americans to sleep the sleep of the righteous, knowing that the smallest fraction of their tax dollar goes to ease poverty and reduce injustice. We want them to know that our consular officers are the first of many lines of defense against those who would come to the US with evil purpose. We want the families of America’s heroes – our servicemen – to know that their loved ones are not put into danger simply because of a failure to pursue non-military solutions.
And we want Americans to know that the torch borne by the Statue of Liberty is not just a magnet for immigrants, it is a projector, shining the promise of democracy around the world. The United States is the world’s greatest economic power, the world’s greatest military power, and with your vigilance, it always will be. But the greatest power we project is hope, the promise that people can establish liberty in their own country without leaving it.
I’ve seen it in the country second dearest to my heart: Serbia. I saw democracy born in Serbia. I saw it stolen. I saw – and played a minor role in – its restoration. And I know this: that if a generation stands up and insists upon defending the rights of the people, they will succeed. And if the next generation stands up and resists every corrosive attack on democracy, they will triumph.
If we wall ourselves off from the world, we will extinguish Liberty’s projection, as surely as if, as the Gospel says, we hid our lamp under a bushel basket. If we do not respect other nations and their citizens, we cannot demand respect for our citizens. If our public statements become indistinguishable from disinformation and propaganda, we will lose our credibility. If we choose to play our cards that way, we will lose that game to the masters in Moscow. If our interaction with other countries is only a business transaction, rather than a partnership with Allies and friends, we will lose that game too. China practically invented transactional diplomacy, and if we choose to play their game, Beijing will run the table.
Business made America great, as it always has been, and business leaders are among our most important partners. But let’s be clear, despite the similarities. A dog is not a cat. Baseball is not football. And diplomacy is not a business. Human rights are not a business. And democracy is, most assuredly, not a business.
Each of us came to this work with our identities – more or less – fully formed, and have preserved our values – with greater or lesser success – against the professional deformation caused by any bureaucracy. Just for myself, I came here with my identity framed: as a Christian, as an Eagle Scout, as a taxpayer. These didn’t require me to go into the State Department, but they define my obligations as a citizen: to spend tax dollars wisely; to look out for the best interests of the US and its people; to share the best of America with the world; and to be not only optimistic, but also – to use a word so suddenly fallen from favor – altruistic. I line up with Steven Pinker. In his book, “The Better Angels of our Nature,” he describes the ‘escalator of reason’: “…an intensifying application of knowledge and rationality to human affairs.”
That is HOW we do it.
“…an intensifying application of knowledge and rationality to human affairs.”
That’s the very definition of the work I’ve been privileged to do, that I will pursue now in different clothes, and that I leave to you.
That’s the sermon, and in a moment I will let you go in peace. First, I want to thank you for so many messages of support and appreciation. One of you here compared the situation to the scene in Star Wars, when Obi-Wan Kenobi is struck down, and I found that touching. Another compared it to the scene when Princess Leia strangles Jabba the Hutt, and I found that confusing.
The most meaningful came from my son Stefan, a future Nobel laureate in physics, who wrote: “I am proud of your decades of service to this country and the world…You gave everything you could for the people of this world in a slow and painful line of work…You have given more than your share…The values you upheld in your career are part of what makes me who I am.”
And that is WHY we do it.
Even if you don’t have your own children, what you do in this building tomorrow can mean another generation will live in a habitable world, can enjoy peace and liberty. If we are firm in our principles, steadfast in our ideals, and tireless in our determination to uphold our oath – to “defend the Constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic” – then for many generations, another American will stand in this spot with the same satisfaction and hope I feel today.
I leave you with one last thought, from one of my favorite philosophers. If you’ve never read him, or not for many years, I urge you to take the time now. His name is: ….Winnie the Pooh.
And he said:
“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”
Thank You and God Bless You!
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