#without sheev knowing

[musewrangler]

He was down the ladder with practised speed and running for the place he’d last seen Piett. There were too many bodies, flung about as though by the hand of a tempermental giant.

Veers swallowed the bile as he breathed in the powerful scent of ozone and copper and raw meat.

Please, please, please…

He forced himself not to look at broken bodies far too small to be in the midst of a conflict like this. He tuned out cries and shrieks of agony and loss.

Because he’d just spotted a dust covered Imperial boot—-a boot that moved, thank the Force .

The General dropped to his knees and began to heave at the debris covering his friend. Moments later, Havell joined him, blood trickling from a gash in his cheek and more relief coursed through Veers.

With the big Sergeant’s brawn added to the effort, they freed Piett in no time.

He was wheezing and struggling for breath not only because he’d been flung under the rubble, but also because the back of his cuirass was dented impressively.

“Get a medic over here!” Veers ordered. “Piett. Firmus . Where are you hurt?”

[tennessoui]

What’s going to happen to Ahsoka when Anakin leaves the order in Time and Tide? I can’t imagine him willingly leaving her, he was devastated when she left him in canon

ooo good question, but i think at this point, we're talking about a different anakin than canon anakin.

t&t anakin is also an anakin that spent years loving his master obi-wan, only to see him die, only to go back in time and fall in love with obi-wan kenobi all over again only to force himself to break his own heart and obi-wan's in order to go back to the time period he belongs in because of his connections with ahsoka and his men and his need for revenge, and doing this almost kills him and his will to live, shaking his connection with the light side so strongly that he mindtricks a padawan into giving over their lightsaber forcefully enough that they're physically sick afterwards and even anakin wonders why being around him does not make the kyber crystal bleed

ONLY TO THEN, AFTER EVERYTHING, find out that obi-wan kenobi faked his death for a mission sanctioned by the council

i can see this anakin seeing the bruises he left on obi-wan's body, his broken bones, the hurt he caused the man he loves as much as he hates him now, and being horrified that he almost killed him. furious and betrayed and deeply, deeply wounded, but also horrified that he could love someone and hurt them so incredibly--and that a part of him still felt the urge to hurt him again because of his own pain

and i can see him thinking the council will not give ahsoka back to him because of how volatile he is (see above), and i can see him wanting her to stay with plo koon, stay on the other side of the galaxy, far away from him because he hurts the people he loves, look what he did to obi-wan.

and i can also see ahsoka's resentment and anger at being abandoned for three weeks while anakin went god knows where and left her alone to grieve obi-wan and worry about anakin become something of a stumbling block for them to communicate clearly about this when anakin says something about leaving the order because he's leaving her again and she is an angsty teenager who understands that this is the worst thing in the world

but basically t&t anakin leaving the order is less like in canon where ahsoka is shown walking down the steps and more like a very broken and wounded man in shambles and discombobulated pieces and paperclips holding his sanity together being rolled out of the temple in a wheelbarrow his droid is pushing

[saphronethaleph]

“I never wanted you dead,” Sheev said, smiling in a grandfatherly sort of way, which he was terrible at. “I wanted you here… Empress Palpatine.”

He gestured. “You will take the throne. It is your birthright to rule here. It is in your blood. Our blood.”

“I haven’t come to lead the Sith,” Rey replied, then there was a loud doom doom doom sound of someone knocking on a door.

“Who is that?” Palpatine asked.

Then Luke Skywalker entered the room, limned with blue light.

So did his father, Anakin Skywalker, and Leia Organa Solo. And Yoda, hovering along on a spectral hoverchair, and Qui-Gon Jinn, and Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Count Dooku.

“...um,” Rey began. “Master…s?”

“Rey,” Luke replied, with a nod. “You were right, by the way.”

“What is this?” Palpatine asked, his voice hushed and touched with fear. “What are you doing?”

“You never heard the story of Master Qui-Gon the Insightful?” Anakin asked.

“I’m insightful?” Qui-Gon said, sounding pleased.

“You are certainly something,” Dooku said, as Yoda chuckled.

Palpatine looked like he might be about to have an aneurysm.

“It’s not a story the Sith would have told you,” Anakin went on, with a terrible glee in his tone. “You see, the Light Side is a path to many abilities some would consider to be… supernatural.”

“Got that out of your system?” Obi-Wan asked.

“For now,” Anakin shrugged.

“What-” Palpatine sputtered. “What are you – this isn’t possible! You are dead! It is the Sith who can defy death!”

“The evidence suggests otherwise,” Leia smiled, then cleared her throat. “Sheev Palpatine. We are formally accusing you of-”

“Um,” Rey said, a bit hesitantly. “Sorry to interrupt… I recognize most of you as Jedi, but what is Count Dooku doing here?”

“Probation,” Yoda stated. “Very nicely, he has asked.”

“We are formally,” Leia stressed, “accusing you of, among other assorted crimes, thirty-seven thousand, eight hundred and twenty-seven counts of murder by use of a blunt instrument – to whit, a Clone Army – counting only those who were members of the Jedi Order in good standing at the time of their respective deaths, though we acknowledge that the number murdered on your orders is beyond easy counting. You are accused of treason in times of war and peace alike, of enforced disappearances, of enslavement, of wilful torture, of assorted Crimes Against Sapience, and of Consorting With Ye Powers Of Darknesse, which to my surprise was still on the books of the Old Republic.”

“There are, as the Princess says, many other crimes,” Dooku added. “But we believe those should be enough to be getting on with. For a start.”

Palpatine stared, then laughed.

“You – you are trying me?” he asked. “In what court? By what authority? I am authority! I reject your powerless, toothless threats! I am above punishment!”

“I think we’ll consider that a plea of ‘guilty’, then,” Obi-Wan said. “Wouldn’t you say?”

“That sounds reasonable enough to me,” Qui-Gon agreed. “All right. Grandmaster, if you would do the honours?”

Yoda raised his gimmer stick, and a bolt of lightning hit Palpatine on the head.

The Sith half-stood half-fell out of his chair, trying to hide behind it, then scowled at his own reaction and shot lightning at one of the Force Ghosts.

It passed right through Leia without doing anything at all.

Rey raised her hand.

“Am I still needed here?” she asked.

“You know, I think we can handle this ourselves?” Count Dooku said, courteously, then turned to Palpatine. “Know this, Sidious. You destroyed the Jedi Order, and now the Order will destroy you. If you return, you will be destroyed again. And again. Forty thousand angry ghosts cry out for vengeance.”

Qui-Gon coughed.

“Terminology, Master,” he said.

“Forty thousand annoyed ghosts seek justice,” Count Dooku corrected, as more Force Ghosts began to enter the chamber – walking through the walls in ranks, their ghostly lightsabers held high. “Is that better?”

“It’ll do,” Obi-Wan decided. “We appreciate you making the effort.”

Palpatine did not appreciate him making the effort.

[chamerionwrites]

Now and then I have a little giggle when I recall that JJ Abrams made Rey Palpatine's grandkid via some sort of nonsensical cloning plot. It's not the worst thing in the ST but I do think it's emblematic of why it's bad. Signifier without substance. Derivative *and* gutless. Tried to rip off ESB without understanding how the Vader reveal works as a narrative beat, gave Sheev spawn, and didn't even have enough courage of their convictions to admit that he fucks.

Like we all know Vader spent two decades pining gloomily after Padmé. But Palpatine? Sheev Palpatine? The guy whose two modes are smiling smug self-satisfied secret smiles to himself and crowing POWER, UNLIMITED POWER? The guy who cackles with maniacal relish anytime he gets to let his hair down and have a lightsaber fight? That guy is a hedonist. Tell me I'm wrong. That man is at all times enjoying the hell out of being irredeemably evil. He is a literal emperor, the vastly powerful and mostly unchallenged ruler of the galaxy, reveling in a victory he spent many years plotting and scheming for. And they had to invent some half-assed narrative afterthought of a cloning program rather than simply allowing us to assume that at some point in the two+ decades between ROTS and ROTJ, that man got laid? The cowardice. The incompetence. The sheer commitment to taking every conceivable L

[marvelstars]

Anakin & Trauma

So there´s this talk around saying that being part of the Jedi Order was akin to taking therapy and that it was Anakin the one who didn´t respond well to therapy and I honestly don´t know where to begin because this is honestly false and is victim blaming.

The Jedi Order´s Philosophy on it´s own isn´t a therapy, not even real world buddhism from which George Lucas took some narrative clues is a therapy, it is a way of life, yes, a philosophy under which it´s members WILLINGLY become a part of it but this isn´t a therapy.

They don´t address trauma, they don´t address anxiety, they don´t address suicidal ideation, etc.

In fact, while Lucas took some narrative clues from real world buddhism, we can´t truly say in good faith the Jedi Order works like real world buddhism, beggining with the fact that they take away choice from their members, they are brought too young into the fold to make a real decision over if they want to become part of their order or not, they take away their parents and cut all connections forever, that doesn´t happen in buddhism, they are openly an armed part of the state even if their functions are diplomacy, buddhism isn´t part of any state , I could go on but I guess the idea is clear.

So blaming Anakin for not "responding well to therapy" isn´t just false, it´s victim blaming, it´s willingly ignoring the context of the story.

In the story the roots of Anakin´s trauma came from slavery and the forced separation from his mother, both situations that never were addressed by the Jedi Order or by Obi-Wan in Anakin´s training, they were openly suppresed while sending Anakin the message that he was the problem for caring and fearing for his mother´s life, his mother who was left alone with a bomb inside her body in a planet ran by the mafia, this isn´t therapy, this is gaslighting.

Wether the Jedi Council or Obi-Wan were aware of it, they willingly made Anakin doubt his own reality and made him take the blame for not taking well his separation from his mother and I don´t know you but if someone, anyone, told me I had to leave my mother behind as a slave with a bomb inside her body because their physophy said so and I was their chosen one so I have to obey them I would have punched them in the face and left to free my mom, chosen one prophecy and Jedi be damned but Anakin was a child, he didn´t have the emotional and verbal skills to even express how wrong all of this was and how much harm they were doing to him.

The signals were clear from the beggining, Obi-Wan noticed that Anakin didn´t have any friends in the Order, that he mostly expend his time with droids and it was the same even when he became an adult and a respected general, can you imagine the level of isolation Anakin had to felt living inside the Jedi Order, that he no longer could relate to the people around him because they saw him as a stranger and he saw them as strangers as well?, that he had to expend his time with droids? when he used to have many friends and acquitances and people who cared about him in his planet of origin despite the horrible reality that he was a slave?, do you believe it talks well about the Order the fact Anakin had better emotional balance and support network living as a slave on Tatooine but with friends and family than living as a member of the Jedi Order?

The Jedi Order were not a supporting network for Anakin, they could not be because their way of life and philosophy openly harmed Anakin, keep him from addressing his trauma, keep him from having comunication with his mother, keep him from learning to manage his emotions without suppresing them and openly shunned him for his past as a slave in current disney canon so don´t tell me this is how a supporting network works or that Anakin was at fault for all of this.

The only person close and interested enough in Anakin to notice the dissaster happening to Anakin´s mental state was freaking Sheev Palpatine, he inmediately noticed Anakin was going to grow up bitter and resentful of the Jedi Order given how they keep him separated from his mother, he noticed he needed a friend who didn´t talk about the Jedi code every five minutes, he noticed he needed a father figure because he never had a father and Obi-Wan actively refused to be one given his beliefs and phylosophy, too bad for Anakin that Palpatine was also a sith lord who planned on destroying his very sense of self and person so he could use his power, he saw all of this happening and let it happen because it helped his cause and he could be the cool parent who lets Anakin talk about his issues without jedi philosophy as he used to do on Tatooine with his Mom and his friends while also adding some psycological issues of self worth to Anakin´s trauma under the image of him caring for Anakin´s well being. Don´t get me started on the Jedi Order allowing this for the sake of keeping a good political relationship with the Chancellor, what´s a kid well being in comparision to a good relationship with the Senate after all but this is a rant for another day.

While Obi-Wan´s love and company could and did help to weather the worst of this, the fact Obi-Wan seemed to care first because of his promise to Qui-Gon, the fact that he didn´t care for Anakin for himself when all people need to be cared for themselves at least in their early years to grow up emotionally stable, need to be loved for themselves, not just for who they are to an institution or as a symbol like the chosen one, which the Jedi Council shunned and put in doubt from the beggining anyway, even if Obi-Wan himself tried to believe in that because his master cared for that stuff, by doing this Obi-Wan subconciously send Anakin the message he was only worth to the Order and to him because he was the chosen one, if he wasn´t then he would have been left a slave on Tatooine just like his mother was, which isn´t that far from reality, Qui-Gon only got interested in Anakin for his force sensitivity, not his kindness and generosity helping strangers when he didn´t have much himself and was a slave.

This truly makes me mad because doing this to a kid isn´t just cruel, it´s abuse be it blind on the Jedi Order´s part or willing abuse on Palpatine´s part, an injustice, a never addressed injustice and even the narrative tries not to tackle this in all i´ts intensity but this is why Lucas said that Anakin was a victim and sure the Jedi were also victims of Palpatine and Anakin by proxy during Order 66 but I think fandom needs to address more in good faith that Anakin himself was their victim first if not the entire Jedi Order (and Palpatine of course) of the adults who were in charge and supposely cared for him and truly didn´t, not in the way that truly matters.

So it is any surprise Anakin wanted to leave the Order to raise his child with Padmé? because honestly I believe that in his situation that was the healthiest decision he could make without completely cutting his ties to what he loved and respected of being a Jedi, so it´s tragic he didn´t get that opportunity because the other adult in his life decided he wanted him as his weapon and manipulated him by isolating him from all his loved ones into becoming exactly that.

[distortionbobble]

Royal Flowers Chapter 9

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series masterlist

summary: y’all know the drill now

series warnings: eventual smut, mentions of death, palpy

a/n: oops

Anakin forgot how beautiful Coruscant is. He can’t recall the exact number of months he’s been away; he stopped keeping track of time around you, but it’s enough to make his skin buzz at the feeling of Coruscant’s humidity. He’s not staying in the Jedi Temple, which is unusual enough to him, but is instead staying with you in the diplomatic lodgings provided by the Senate. It’s strange; he spent every night since he left Coruscant by your side, sleeping next to you, but now that he’s here, it feels so much more intimate. It could be the size of the bed, it could be the reminder of his responsibility and role of a Jedi here on Coruscant, but whatever it is, his heart skips a beat at the thought of sleeping by your side.

The two of you had reached quietly and checked into your lodgings, with him playing the role of the affectionate husband. You seem to be okay, at least as far as he can tell, but you’re certainly quieter. He’s glad for it, but there’s still some part of him that wants to sweep you into his embrace, pull you tight and shield you from the awful parts of the universe. He doesn’t want to dwell on it for too long, but the desire is inescapable. He still doesn’t know what it is that you, Padme, and Obi-Wan had discussed. All you’d said was that Padme had heard something that meant there wasn’t much time left. He’s watching you now from the corner of the room, scanning the room constantly for any threats.

“It feels like it has been too long since I was in Coruscant,” Anakin says finally. It doesn’t feel like his home anymore, and that scares him. No, home in his mind is now back in the Royal Chambers of Naboo, spending every waking moment with you.

“I’m sure. I apologize for the nature of my mission, it must be hard to be away from home for so long,” You say, turning to smile at him. “But hopefully it’ll be over soon, yes?” You say with a hopeful smile. The thought of leaving you twists a knife in Anakin’s gut, but it’s one that he’s learned to accept. It’s always there, always looming, and the only thing left for Anakin to do now is get used to the dagger in his stomach. He’ll have to leave you, sooner or later. But that doesn’t make the thought of it any less painful.

“Anakin… about your friendship with Chancellor Palpatine,” you speak to him from the seat of the vanity as you get your hair ready for bed. “We—“

“He’s a good man,” Anakin snaps at you before you can say anything negative about his friend. Chancellor Palpatine has guided him through so much, and he can’t imagine where he’d be without him.

“I didn’t say he wasn’t,” you respond coolly. “What makes you think I’d say otherwise?”

Anakin hesitates before he sits down on the bed, mesmerized by your elegant movements. “In the past, both Padme and Obi-Wan have cast their doubts about him. But I can’t imagine the idea of their suspicions panning out to be anything. He’s an honorable man, even if they don’t like it.” You nod quietly, and he can’t gauge a thought in your head before you rise and flip the covers to get into the bed.

“I believe you, Anakin. If that’s the case, I think your friend deserves to know you’re still alive, right?” You ask him quietly, laying down sideways. Your statement makes him pause. He should tell Sheev, shouldn’t he? But that would make it all so real, the ending of this. And you look like an angel born of the earth, like the muse of all things beautiful, and he almost wants to say he doesn’t want to tell him, just so he can keep the farce of being yours up for just a little longer. But the feelings spark such shame within him that he just nods, his throat dry, and lays down next to you.

As he sits there in the darkness, listening keenly to the slowing of your breathing, steady and quiet, he realizes something. Nothing in this universe is guaranteed. He is promised nothing by the universe, and he’s seen it countless times; his mother, ripped away from him, the other younglings at the Order rejecting him. But the universe has guaranteed one certainty; when he’s next to you, he can sleep peacefully.

~~~

“Chancellor,” your voice floats above the din of the Senators as you address the man. “If I might borrow your attention?”

“For the Queen of Naboo, my attention is yours to own,” Chancellor Palpatine jests, coming to stand by your side. “Milady, I must ask… what brings you to Coruscant, and to the Senate, no less?”

You allow your painted lips to form just a hint of a smile. You have a thin line to walk now—if he’s a Separatist, of which there is only a slim chance, he can’t think that you truly want to help your people. But if he’s not, you still hold a responsibility to your people. “My people feel as though the urgency of the Separatist threat is not being handled with urgency. I come as a representative for Naboo in order to request the Republic have a stronger role in protecting Naboo… however, I know that our forces get so busy. It’s a shame, isn’t it?” You say, echoing the words that Darth Sidioius had spoken to you before.

Chancellor Palpatine’s face remains a smooth, unmoving mask in response to your words. A little too smooth. Either he’s a horrible chancellor, or you were right to have your suspicions. But you can’t act on inaction. You cough, deciding to move on. “I suppose I shouldn’t delay it much longer. But… Chancellor, keep it a secret, will you?”

“Keep what a secret, Milady?” He asks, tailing you as you stride into one of the nearby conference rooms.

“My husband wished to see you,” You smile, stepping to the side as the door eases shut. Anakin is standing before the glass, soft light catching his hair. At the sound of the door, Anakin turns around with a smile.

“My old friend,” He says, striding over to embrace Chancellor Palpatine.

“I thought— Oh, Anakin, I thought you were dead!” He sputters, embracing Anakin back. “Why the farce? Please, you must tell me everything.” He lets go of Anakin and takes a seat at the long table. Whatever suspicions you may have of him, his excitement and relief of seeing Anakin, alive, does feel authentic. Perhaps he is innocent, and your suspicions are entirely misdirected. But that’s not something you can take a chance on. Nonetheless, you’ll give the two their space.

“I’ll leave the two of you to reconnect,” You say with a smile, tenderly stroking the side of Anakin’s face before you leave the room.

“I know,” Anakin says before the Chancellor can speak. “It must seem so confusing to you. But it’s better this way. I couldn’t bear the thought of going through the process of leaving, announcing my intent to leave and bringing such shame upon my former Masters. And because of my importance, I don’t imagine they’d let me go so easily. My skill in the Force is unmatched by any other Jedi I’ve seen. But…”

“You’re in love with her,” Chancellor Palpatine finishes. Anakin smiles wistfully, swallowing the guilt of lying to his friend. But he needs to sell this. Palpatine also cannot know that you were stationed there to protect you, but he deserves to know you’re alive. Plus, you have some sort of idea that he can help you in uncovering the truth. And Anakin trusts you.

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this before,” Anakin responds, tilting his head back and closing his eyes as the image of you fills his head. The faint smell of jasmine in your hair, the shape of your nose, your lips, the softness of your cheek in his hand and the way you look at him. You look at him like you see him for him, and still trust him. It puts all the rage in his body to rest. He may need to sell this to Sheev, but Anakin’s not sure it’s entirely an act. You do make him feel safe. At the same time, you make his heart race with each little quip you make. You challenge him, frustrate him, and he needs you with him, always. You’ve taught him to love without attachment, the true Jedi way, because he knows he can never truly have you. You’re not his to love.

Sheev smiles. “Young love. It is such a beautiful thing, to be free of the restraints that others have placed upon you and to be able to accept that without guilt.” A bitterness sits in Anakin’s throat as he smiles. If only his friend knew how much he longs for that.

“Well, it would be a shame for your powers to go to waste,” the Chancellor says. “I do hope you find something worthy of it being used. The Force has blessed you, and I believe that you’ll be able to achieve even greater things without the Jedi Order shackling you with all their rules.” His lined face lights up in a smile before he places a hand gently on Anakin’s shoulder, catching Anakin’s eyes as he heads back to the Senate. “But perhaps that’s a conversation for another day. Until then, Anakin.”

“Until then,” Anakin echoes.

~~~

Anakin can hear you screaming. He doesn’t realize it’s you at first; he’s too busy looking at Padme. She’s sobbing, tears rolling down her face as she tries to say something to him. He can’t make out the words, can’t hear them coming out of her mouth. All he feels, all he sees is pain. He’s surrounded by it. Always has been, always will be. And the sound of your screaming, shrieking, drowns out any sound that Padme makes. He tries to turn to you, tries to see where you are but Padme grabs his jaw and turns him back to her. Her nails are digging into his skin and it hurts, it hurts but he just wants you to stop screaming. You’re in pain, he’s in pain, and none of it will stop. Padme’s touch grows hotter and hotter on his skin until he’s sobbing, the heat of it scorching as fire begins to light upon her skin. It engulfs her dress, spreading to her hair, until she lets go. He doesn’t hesitate to run to your voice, the sound of your screaming where you lay there, your body limp as you struggle against something he can’t see.

“Help me,” You beg him, reaching towards him. “Please, Anakin, help me,” You plead. Your fingertips begin to unravel into little tendrils of smoke, reaching towards him as more and more of your body is taken by the smoke.

“No,” He whispers, trying to grab the smoke, holding your body as it disintegrates in his very hands. “No!”

“Anakin,” Your voice cuts through his visions. He wakes up with a start, sweat making strands of hair stick to his forehead. He looks at you with bleary eyes, sitting straight in the bed as you look at him in concern. “Hey. Are you okay? You were talking in your sleep,” You say, sitting up as well. He doesn’t answer, just grabs your wrist and shuts his eyes at the feel of your pulse.

“Hey, it’s okay,” You say. “It was just a bad dream,” You say gently. Anakin feels sick. He’s supposed to feel safe next to you. It’s been months since he had a vision like this, months of blissfully quiet sleep. He was so sure it was because of you. Maybe you’re not close enough. Or maybe it’s this damned place. Anakin leans into you, circling his arms around you and pulling you tightly to his chest. “Do you want to talk about it?” You ask him, allowing him to hold you as he breathes slowly, working his way out of the darkness of his dream.

“I dreamt I lost you,” He murmurs into the crown of your head, squeezing you tightly as he remembers the feel of your lifeless body. “The worst part of it is I know I’m gonna lose you anyways. You’re going to be gone, soon enough, and I’ll have to go through all of this alone, all again.”

“I’m always gonna be your friend,” You reassure him. Your breath meets his bare chest and he’s reassured by the fact that you’re alive.You feel warm, warm and full of life a

“I dreamt that you died,” He says simply. “And I can’t have that happen.” Not again. Not like what happened to his mother.

“Anakin,” You say, pulling yourself off of his chest. “I’m okay. You’re protecting me.”

“But what if there’s something I can’t keep you safe from?” He asks, meeting your eyes. His fear is plain as day, and he knows you could piece together what that means in an instant. Why he’s so fearful of losing you. You matter to him, even if he hasn’t said it.

“If there’s something you can’t keep me safe from, then it’s not your fault. Know that. People die sometimes, even if we do our best to keep them safe from it,” You respond. Your voice is surprisingly even despite the gravity of Anakin’s emotions. He doesn’t understand how he hasn’t dragged you down into the depths of his misery but he’s grateful for the anchor that you provide him. “Anakin, the most important thing is the safety and security of the galaxy. To do the most good for the most people, that is what we are born into this universe to ensure. And if—” your voice breaks, and you lean your head back into his chest. “If I do die under your protection, I will know that you’ll have done your best to keep me safe. But more importantly, I’ll know that you will carry out my work and see to it that those who come after us will see a better place. With me, without me, the universe will move on.”

“I don’t accept that answer,” Anakin frowns, but you just laugh.

“It’s the truth. My life will never be more important than the fate of the universe. But you’re stressing about nothing. I’m here, I’m okay, you’re okay. Just… try and go back to sleep, will you?” You ask, shivering before he draws the blanket above the both of you. He’s never really held you like this before. He isn’t holding you to make your pain stop, he’s holding you to make his pain stop. And he doesn’t want to let you go. But that’s what makes him let go, allowing you to go lay down while he sits up, watching as you fall asleep.

You’re not his to keep, anyways.

[threebea]

Sheev hits the cloning Sith magic hoping for eternal life in exactly the wrong way and time and now he's a small redheaded child.

1. Everyone thinks the Supreme Chancellor is missing or captured.

2. Everyone assumes he's the bastard child of Obi-Wan Kenobi (as all redheads of a certain age are traditionally assumed).

3. Obi-Wan is once again asking people not to assume he is the sole provider of redheads. (He is ignored).

4. Due to plot reasons naturally Obi-Wan and Anakin have to look after him.

5. Sheev tries to act cute so that he can win over Anakin.

6. Somehow it backfires and Anakin is weirdly threatened by Obi-Wan's (probable) son.

7. Sheev does have a few tantrums and falls into brat mode. Not because he's a Sith in disguise but because he was a rich boy and assumes that's how kids are.

8. He claims to be the Supreme Chancellor several times. Padme thinks it's adorable that he wants to be a little politician.

9. the Jedi figure out he's force sensitive and are wondering if they should take him in if they can't find his guardian. Anakin now views him as a rival and is waiting for Obi-Wan to say he's going to train his son the boy.

10. Obi-Wan is not doing that again, thanks. He just finished the last one. He needs a break.

11. Sheev due to child body can't control the Force as well as he can as an adult (as far as he knows) so trapped playing baby games and getting hugs and also getting rules which did not happen the first time around. Weirdly nice but it isn't going to stop him from being Emperor and murdering these people. He just needs to reverse the spell.

12: as it turns out his spirit accidentally went into one of his prototype clones and they find his dead elderly body. Looks like it's time for elections.

13: Jedi decide no, this time they're not breaking the he's too old rule. They're gonna look after him and when he's old enough they'll send him to one of the corps. It's for the best. Especially since the war is going really well under the new management and they'll probably have a treaty by next life day.

14. Also as it turns out the clone body does not have a high m-count like his former body. He's a little less than average. The Force is whistling innocently in the background.

Of course he's still going to try for galactic domination but oh boy is it not gonna go well.

Not sure if he becomes reformed or what. Either way he's probably gonna be farming for a few years which he will not enjoy. Yes he can still manipulate people, but it's hard to manipulate who he needs without any money or power to offer.

Tries setting off Order 66. Voice isn't the right register and doesn't set it off.

[vaguely-concerned]

I’m on a Star Wars books roll so here we go with my — unhinged thanks for asking! — thoughts on Dooku: Jedi Lost, specifically the audio play. Short version: I fucking loved this one! For maximum emotional devastation, pair with Master and Apprentice and Padawan the way my stupid ass did and then be sad about it forever I guess that's what I’m going to have to do.

 Long (LONG oopsie) version:

- So. First of all, let’s get the most important thing out of the way on this here old man yaoi website. We all agree dooku and sifo dyas explored each other’s bodies right. Or at least definitely would have if not for the laws of this order etc., potentially. That’s not just me. Good. Thank you. We can now move on 

- Secondly. Well. Guess I’m just going to be inconsolable about Sifo-Dyas forever now. I miss the days in which he was just a throwaway line in AotC spawned by a random misspelling to me, rather than an eternal raw aching wound in my heart

- poor poor ventress just reading through all the proof that dooku absolutely does have it in him to be a good dad I mean master and just — idk got tired of that and went the force lightning route with her. I love the move of having her dead master hang out with her all that time as well (having her slip up and refer to ‘us’ did something to me, god this is so sad. Is he actually there in spirit or is it just her grief dreaming him up because dooku is awful and cold as a cliff  wall and she needs some kind of attachment figure even if she’ll have to reinvent him herself, rebuild him word for word, gesture by gesture. Pain. sorry about your terrible track record with father figures asajj) 

- Lene: (About Averross): He hasn’t changed. 

Dooku: (In the warmest fondest voice you ever heard) And I hope he never does

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MYSELF? MUST I SET MYSELF ON FIRE TO ESCAPE THE PAIN???

Another strong showing for Rael in general, btw. He’s so warm and charming as a presence even though he’s also a little chaos gremlin. (He’s quite similar to how Sifo-Dyas was when he was young in some ways, I can definitely start to see what Dooku responds warmly to in terms of character traits.) 

- the fact that good ol’ sheev showed an interest in rael, dooku and anakin… interesting huh! He’s just got a soft spot for the disaster lineage I suppose, maybe there’s an element there of luring yoda’s most direct lineage into the dirt with him without yoda even noticing for the longest time. Also cackling at the idea that he looked at qui-gon ‘too fucking stubborn and insufferable to fall to the dark side out of sheer spite’ jinn and went ‘...not that one tho’ fhdskjfa. And obi-wan is more like ‘that one blorbo all my little guys seem wild about but I just don’t get it guys’ 

IF rael’s refusal to join dooku at the end of ‘master and apprentice’ is the last word (which I am not convinced of ;___; be safe cowboy jedi we never see in mainline canon so far), then he’s the only one who has dodged palpatine’s attentions. Wonderful if true love that for him

ALSO rael is one of the few people we know to be on (or at least to consider himself on despite what palps might think lol) first name basis with palpatine. Hilarious. I concur with dooku never change rael 

- Sifo-Dyas: That’s insane. 

Dooku, deadpan: Yes.

Sifo-Dyas: The worst plan I’ve ever heard.

Dooku, somehow even more deadpan: Most probably. 

Sifo-Dyas: I’m in. 

Crying… weeping and dying………… what if someone could have helped sifo with his unfortunate prophecy propensity and they hadn’t drifted apart. Clone Wars averted methinks if dooku still ended up leaving the order he would have been too busy having tender gay sex with the love of his life (and only person who can call him out on his shit and have him actually listen) to be a war criminal (I am being extremely facetious of course this is very much a ‘time traveler killing baby hitler’ situation where the underlying forces causing this point in history are way too powerful to avert the catastrophe in one move. but at least palps would probably have had to pick someone else to wreck the galaxy through and sifo-dyas would be kissed & held instead of going slowly mad. A net plus some (I, me) would say) 

- I just wanted to applaud both the writing and the voice acting for the characterization of Dooku in this, from his young self trying so hard to be haughty and self-possessed but also being like, y’know, twelve and a dweeb and easy for Sifo-Dyas to pull into trouble, to the dry wit and warmth he shows with Rael and Qui-Gon or his sister later. It took me a little while to get into the voice acting specifically (the actor makes no attempt at going the full Christopher Lee, which in hindsight was probably wise), but now I love it. It gets a bit goofy in places but you know what, I am a long time lover of audio plays, that’s part of the charm 

- “Master, have I done something wrong?”

My heart is clenching… do you think… that master yoda’s deal with leaving his student to try fucking everything to have some kind of relationship with him until he just breaks down in tears of despair… is the kind of thing that maybe started a little bit of a generational trauma cartwheel through the ages. The point that bb!dooku is arrogant isn’t without merit and he strikes out incredibly ungracefully about it (in fact I would be a lot more worried than yoda seems to be that he decides to try to kill a tree about it, ‘I felt like destroying something beautiful’-style)  but I just don’t think a… fourteen year old? A teen anyway, Is going to learn what you think he learns from this. I simply don’t believe that silent treatmenting kids will teach them emotional intelligence I guess especially if they already struggle with that naturally lol 

(It is exactly the same mistake (in my opinion) that Qui-Gon makes with Obi-Wan, too, just leaving the kid completely alone and forcing them to come to you every which way for comfort or guidance instead of meeting them or reaching out to them. Especially once you see that really Dooku’s prime emotion/big core wound right from the beginning is loneliness. And that doesn’t only come from a feeling of superiority (which to be sure is also a big factor), because he has no idea where he comes from until he meets his sister. I don’t think the jedi as a whole were unsalvageable by any stretch of the imagination, but Yoda specifically… you are on such very thin ice with me at this point you little green fuck. You’re very funny and moving in yoda dark rendezvous and that’s all that’s keeping you in my somewhat good graces.)

- Okay, coming back a bit later I think I’ve found the right words to say this. more precisely dooku has two big issues which you can later see haunting all the way down his lineage — loneliness and control. (and not incidentally the intersecting elements of the two haha.) We see from his relationship to sifo-dyas that he’s not incapable of having close mutual relationships with an equal, but that kind of crashed and burned for reasons neither of them could really help and after that it seems quite telling that he has the easiest time with deeper connection in a teacher-student sort of form. I think his affection is unconditional and real, but you can’t get away from the fact that he also has the most control in that relationship structure by default, he gets to dictate what form it takes to a big extent. He doesn’t trust other people — the underlying idea ‘Only I can do this’ that eventually leads him down the Separatist path is there the whole way. It speaks both to a sense of superiority and an utter lack of faith that other people can or will help him. And then that echoes down through the master-padawan line: 

Qui-Gon with his self-righteousness and utter refusal to compromise leaving him isolated among the jedi (only he is right. Yeah the Force told him so. Don’t worry I’ve got a permit *insert parks and rec I can do whatever I want meme here*), Obi-Wan with his anxiety and perfectionism and incredible sense of shame and responsibility that he should be able to carry the whole world on his shoulders alone and beating himself up for failing, all feeding into not knowing what to do with Anakin and his complete lack of control of himself and his desperation to gain and maintain connection and love (which earns him the title of ‘Dooku’s least favorite family member’ fhdsa his immediate disdain for him is so funny and so in character. Repress and go slowly mad like a normal person anakin the way you’re carrying on is just undignified and that is much worse than being evil)… 

- Rael gently telling Dooku to take on another padawan soon… so sweet, so sad, local cowboy jedi looking out for his dad. Also highlights something about Dooku I think is true: that he does much better and seems to have an easier time holding to the light when he’s responsible for someone else. Again, I do feel like Dooku’s core problem is loneliness, but it seems like raising kids is the one point where that relaxes somewhat. Maybe if Sifo-Dyas had stayed in a better mental place and they kept in touch it could have been different.

- Lene Kostana is SUCH a character! Charismatic and deeply fucked up, when it’s revealed how her and Sifo-Dyas’ relationship remains long after his padawan stage is done I felt a little bit sick, to my surprise. Because that could just be kindness on her part, of course, it’s good that he has someone he trusts to look after him when he can’t himself, but also there’s something… queasy about the way it keeps him continually young, in a way. (Notably he still calls her ‘master’ even as an adult, when they’re working together. Not uncommon in Star Wars, of course, but together with everything else going on vibes-wise… hm.) The inherent unreliable narration of this story really worked for me in this regard especially — do we know that young Dooku was entirely wrong when he sensed the dark side in her? She certainly is willing to go to lengths that are… worrying! in her fascination with sith shit, she tempted children into a dangerous place they didn’t understand and couldn’t know the consequences of and she continually puts sifo-dyas in situations that are implied to be a risk to worsening his condition. Run of the mill incredibly irresponsible at best, sincerely sinister at worst. Did she choose Sifo over Dooku because he’s more vulnerable and shapeable? There is an undercurrent of something icky and emotionally incest-y going on with how she relates to Dooku and Sifo-Dyas in general (right down to the ‘NO, no one can know about this’ intensity after the… evil moss cave. I can’t believe I’m this emotional about a book with an evil moss cave). I don’t think she’s a proper sith in any way and I also believe there is real affection there on all sides, but idk something about the whole thing makes me deeply uneasy. Yoda where the fuck are you your son is out there with his irresponsible mom again they’re looking for dirty needles in haystacks and they’re not even wearing any gloves

- dooku telling sifo-dyas he can come back to haunt him if he likes as a joke… well well well I’m sure that doesn’t ring with some dramatic irony at some point down the line lmao

- honestly looking back at master and apprentice after reading jedi lost makes qui-gon's apparent lack of reaction to dooku leaving seem — let's call it highly suspect haha. rael asks him if he's spoken to dooku after and qui-gon is like 'no. why would I. it's literally fine. anyway this topic is done now'. (and rael seems to just go ‘*older brotherly knowing* uh-huh’) meanwhile he's thinking about dooku *all the time* trying to figure out his role as master to obi-wan, thinking about being a padawan himself, the parts of his life he shared with both dooku and rael. The jedi doth protest too much methinks  

ALSO how much of qui-gon thinking the council was too lenient with rael after he had to kill his padawan is about that actual situation, and how much is a ‘our family still likes my older brother more than me even though he Fucked Up so bad and breaks just as many rules as I do’ sort of deal mixed with his own neuroses about how he’s failing obi-wan (to which rael’s situation symbolizes the worst possible outcome, i.e. the kid dies and it’s basically your fault). Many thoughts. 

- moment of silence for jenza of house serenno. Girl your only sin was being surrounded by asshole male family members and I’m so sorry I think you did all you could with what you had to work with here.

Not… entirely sure how dooku’s claim to the title supersedes hers — is he a year older than her? (she’s eleven when they first meet, he might be twelve or older at that point I don’t remember haha) Does she just give up her place in the inheritance order? Are primogeniture and male heir preference factors in Serenno inheritance law? Not the most important thing honestly it works anyway thematically but could have been clarified quickly!

- interesting to see that the council’s restrictive policy against engaging with prophecies had a surprisingly big impact on how things went down. Kostana has a lot of responsibility in Sifo’s fate for insisting he keep it secret, but there is genuine fear for what might become of him if the rest of the order finds out he’s got 24/7 futurevision hovering over him threateningly… listen it’s not like the poor guy can help getting the future constantly pumped into his brain at nightmare resolutions, I think maybe if there had been more willingness to at least engage curiously with the concept of prophecy and how it works, even if you don’t put your faith in the particulars of what the prophecies say, this wouldn’t have had to be such a shitty isolated secretive life for him. hearing him slowly fall apart over the years considering how bright and lovely he started out... oof is all I can say 

- when dooku was a good jedi he was such a good jedi!!! The scene where they’re saving the kids from the collapsing hospital, every time he teaches his students anything…the impulse of someone has to do something about this! that made him so good at saving lives turning dark with the tarnish of frustration and rage over the years… nooooooooo problematic grandpa why did it have to be like this :(

- …do you think infant jedi can sense what’s going on around them in the Force. Because it makes a very sad kind of sense if dooku on some level remembers bodily or in the Force that he was not only abandoned but rejected in disgust as one of the first things he discovered in the world. Oh boy. With all the ways attachment relationships can go wonky in the first few years in real life I don’t even want to consider how much more wrong it can go when the baby is fucking psychic lol

- vaguely related: the way dooku seems to find the very idea of being truly reliant on anyone, emotionally or otherwise, personally offensive, terrifying and humiliating lol. Yoda saves him from being crushed by rubble and he is outraged because that means he can’t save himself (and his newfound sister) without anyone’s help like he thought for one glorious moment he could. The fantasy of perfect emotional self-sufficiency, doing away with all the messiness and risk of interpersonal relationships and cutting off the possibility of really being abandoned again. It’ll get ya every time. This is also a thing you see reflected in his lineage — they’re all quite inward-turning that way until you get to anakin, to different extents and with varying presentations but it is there I think. Qui-Gon turns to the Force, Obi-Wan to perfectionism and shame and rumination, Rael to the bottle and depression and hedonistic apathy, but they all struggle hugely with letting anyone in to help them. Dooku’s line are all much more comfortable being the helpers rather than the helpees, as it were.  

- “Thank you for everything, Lene. Tell Rael and Qui-Gon — tell them… tell them the Force will be with them, always”

Emotional terrorism against me specifically and personally. You asshole you just excused yourself from the non-attachment rules there’s literally nothing in the world except you to stop you from reaching out and telling your children you love them yOURSELF why are you like this

- the recurring theme of dooku seeing something beautiful (the tree in the temple, the tirra’taka as a child and an adult) and ending up lashing out to destroy it… but the tree was old and mighty and he was young and new and couldn’t truly harm it, so he was saved from his own impulsivity. And then when he sees the tirra’taka as an adult he loves it immediately. And in the end he still mangles and destroys it. He didn’t mean to, but he did. He woke it up and hurt it just by existing as a child and then he had to kill it as a mercy because he was too powerful at that point for anything to buffer his mistakes. The parallel with the bird he loved that he also couldn’t protect. He starts out with an aching loneliness somewhere at the core of him through no real fault of his own but by the end it is entirely his own fault that it’s worse, because he starts wrecking everything he loves in an almost absent-minded but definitely intentional way, like it’s a nightmare he’s listening to through the door as it happens in the next room over. He really IS the ‘I just felt like destroying something beautiful’ central of the jedi.

at the end qui-gon is dead and through dooku’s own influence, however indirectly. Rael has had to turn away from him. Sifo-Dyas is dead on Dooku’s own orders and so is his sister, he might as well have done it with his own hands. (though I think it’s very interesting that in each case he didn’t do it with his own hands, he consistently uses a middleman.) He lives within the coldness of his sterile empty castle and horrifically mistreats the one person he might have found something like connection with the way he did with his students before (Ventress), deliberately trapping her in a similar state of utter desolate isolation and telling her, essentially, ‘We’re like this as people and nothing can be done to change it. We can’t escape, we’re already doomed, stop trying, it’s too late. You are just like me (and if you aren't already I'll make you like me)’. And that’s the closest thing he gets to love anymore. When he accused Ky of using her ‘as a salve for his own loneliness’ and you’re like well well well mr projection man how’s that working out for you. He is completely, shatteringly alone and he is so entirely as a consequence of his own actions and he's too far gone to understand or care. I’m howling you useless fucking FOOL dooku  

- dooku 🤝 john gaius

“Hm. I have observed that there are in fact many flaws in our society and the government is deeply corrupt. So if I kill a few billion people here and there in order to fix it, is that not basically okay when you really think about it” 

Dooku making salient points about the political and ethical failures of the Republic and then, just when you think he’s onto something, he goes and makes The wildest fucking decisions about what to do about it. Sure. dark magic and genocide are probably the only ways out of this you’re so right bro. If we make enough minuses to add together surely we’ll end up in plus sooner or later

- *head in my hands once more* I can’t believe I am genuinely emotionally invested in someone called Count Dooku with the looks of a knockoff dracula and ultimate moral character to match right now this is terrible. hey. hey dooks. what you have to go and fuck everything up so bad for huh I’m so incredibly sad now

there is something to be said about how getting to see glimpses of what dooku looked like in the light makes it so much more heartwrenching that he never came back. he could have, a thousand times. and every time he chose not to.

[runekirikjartan]

Mandokarla Aran AU: Fox Lore

… if you wanted me dead, you should've just said, nothing makes me feel more alive...

Fox steps off the laati onto Coruscant's duracrete and durasteel jungle covered surface with his hands clasped behind his back. Waiting for him is not the jetii, but Senate guards and the Chancellor of the Republic himself, Sheev Palpatine, Fox's direct superior on Triple Zero. He didn't realize that their posting didn't give them a jetii, but he supposed it didn't really matter.

They were there for Coruscant, to protect the Heart of the Republic.

Fox could do that without a jedi.

He glances briefly over his shoulder at the rest of the troopers streaming off the laati until his men have come to a stop behind him, standing at attention until the Chancellor instructs them otherwise.

"Commander." The Chancellor greets him, a smile with not so many teeth and eyes that make the hairs on the back of Fox's neck prickle and stand like they do when something feels off and wrong.

'Marshal Commander' Fox thinks in correction. His rank is his pride.

He begins to talk and explain that the senate guard will escort them to their barracks and then the Coruscant Guard headquarters. He asks about how many men will be stationed on Coruscant with a glance to the men standing behind Fox.

Fox explains that the rest of his men will join them within the week.

The Chancellor's face is impassive, but there's a tightness in the smile that Fox doesn't like, doesn't trust.

He chalks it down to being on an unknown planet and in an unknown area, where he hasn't sufficiently examined all entry and exit points. Where he hasn't been able to place his men at weak points in the security of the landing platform.

They start walking.

-

…is it a wonder I broke? Let's hear one more joke, then we could all just laugh until I cry...

Fox pushes his hair from his forehead. The strands are getting lighter, greys turning white at the end, even if the crown of his head stays pitch black. Carver went through a few holo-articles that described the condition in which hair began to turn white,. Thorn wanted to chalk it down to Force osik. Fox blames it entirely on the fact that they were woefully underprepared to take on and manage the security of an entire planet with only the measly hundred and twenty thousand of them in the Guard.

If he had his way there would be double the number of men.

But he's not in charge, not really. His acquisition forms need to be signed off by the Chancellor for the most part, but Fox has signed enough of his paperwork that he knows the man's signature almost as well as his own. So instead he forges signatures to get his men extra stims, he and engineering hollow out a wall behind the maintenance tunnels to hoard their supplies.

Then the decommissioning order comes.

It's the first of many (not that Fox knows that). One of Fox's corporals was on a solo patrol within the Senate. He's a good vod, a corporal that was with them since the beginning of the Guard's deployment. When Fox gets to him, he's shaking, helmet off and abandoned as two other Guard are between him and a senator who has flown into a vicious and cruel rage.

And when it escalated up the chain of command, Fox was expecting support, something good that he could tell his men only to be met with the startling and uncomfortable realization that not even his superior officer saw him and his vod as human. That even the Chancellor didn’t think that the Guard, with their beating hearts and blood that stained the duracrete beneath their feet were people.

"An accusation like that is hard to shake."

"Surely this can be dealt with internally, sir." He tries to protest, hoping that he can just sweep System under the rug of other nameless faces and hope that the senator hadn’t gotten his designation. 

"They need to learn Commander.”

'Marshal Commander' Fox corrects if that would actually make a difference.

It doesn't.

-

..."Who's afraid of little old me?"...

Fox dreams in colour. He dreams in oranges and reds and brass and browns. He dreams of his vode with shining halos and weapons that grow brightly in their hands. Their eyes are nothing but light. When they speak, their voices come out as one.

"The stars will guide you Commander."

"Marshal Commander." Fox corrects out loud this time, finally speaking the words often lodged in his throat.

The vode in front of him chuckles in unison, a voice much deeper than their own, much louder than their own. Their eyes grow brighter, blinding in their nature and Fox is forced to turn away from the intensity, covering his eyes. When he looks back, they’re gone, and in their place stands a warrior.

It has to be a warrior.

Beskar’gam covers their limbs, painted brass and gold. Their helmet almost resembles a mask of sorts, the familiar style of a t-shaped visor accented by three bands across the warrior’s chin. The top of the helmet isn’t exactly humanoid, possibly accounting for a species differential. Fox doesn’t flinch at the sight of them, but it is a near thing when they step closer to him.

“Who are you?” He asks, hand drifting down to his holster, fingers closing around air as they snort.

“The Ka’ra was right about you.” The being says, clearly Mandalorian in origin now that it has spoken Mando’a. Fox doesn’t know why he’s dreaming of Mandalorians. 

“Pardon my language but what the kark does that mean?” 

“You, Marshal Commander Fox.” The being starts, and for some reason he sounds smug in a way that makes Fox wary. “Are worthy. The Ka’ra deems you perfect for carrying on our ways.”

Fox tilts his head to the side. He eyes the figure warily.

“Now tell me what that actually means, in basic.” 

-

Fox stares into the mirror of the fresher, his armour stacked neatly on the counter by the sink. He grips the edge of the counter and stares at his own reflection, only slightly mourning the loss of his hair. There, on the sides of his skull, shining a layer of second skin are the words to ‘vode an’ etched into his skin, one side of his head devoted to each verse. Carver hadn’t questioned his request to dig out his tattoo machine, nor did he question things when Fox began to mutter in a language almost as old as Coruscant itself.

Carver did, however, almost drop the tattoo needle entirely when the ink laid into Fox’s skin began to glow as bright as the further star in an empty night sky. 

Coruscant’s history speaks to him, almost as loudly as Kad Ha’rangir, all while the deity stands over his shoulder and watches him through the reflection of the mirror.

“Where do I start?” He asks as his eyes settle on Kad Ha’rangir’s visor.

“The children who are willing.” Kad Ha’rangir tilts their head to the side. “The ones who have already made up their minds.” 

“They’re mine, the ka’ra cannot have them.” Fox hisses.

“For your boon, you must, they have already decided.” Kad Ha’rangir steps closer. Their hand on Fox’s shoulder burns, warmth sinks through Fox’s blacks and feels as though it brands through skin, muscle, deep into his bones..

His gaze flicks back from Kad ha’rangir to himself in the mirror. His eyes shine golden, overtaking the brown that he shares with his brothers, whiting out the rest of him that seems human.

...You should be...

[fanfic-obsessed]

Lured to the Light on Accident

Ok, all you Jedi, Sith, and Force Nulls (and anyone who is none of the above), here we go again. Just a warning, Palpatine gets off far more lightly than he probably should. Also I keep having deja vu as I write this, but can’t find any indication I have posted it before. If someone knows different, please tell me.  It makes me wonder if I thought about this one so hard I thought I wrote it…

It starts at the end of the Naboo crisis.  Sheev Palpatine, Darth Sidious, is all too aware that a man of his power requesting the company of a young boy, without his guardian, from a group of people he has an unbelievable amount of control over is not a good look on anyone.  Even with that young boy being a hero on his planet, particularly since there were two living Jedi heroes of the Naboo Crisis. 

So he invites both Obi Wan and Anakin to meet with him. Obi Wan, though he does have some suspicion around most politicians, is also grieving, hurting, too young, and trying to keep up with a nine year olds energy without letting on that he is struggling. He thinks, incorrectly, that even implying he might need help from anyone in the Jedi temple means that Anakin would be taken from him (this belief is preyed on by Palpatine, who is very good at making people doubt each other). And frankly Palpatine can get Anakin to sit quietly for an entire hour, even take a nap occasionally. 

There are days that Obi Wan would have nominated Palpatine for sainthood on that alone. 

Of course Palpatine sees a chance to corrupt another Jedi, plus corrupting this particular Jedi would pave the way for him to take control of Anakin, and he could just kill him later if need be.   So he starts these ‘devil's advocate’ debates with Obi Wan where he picks qualities of the Jedi and Sith (as he perceives them) and tries to make Obi Wan choose one or the other and defend it. As far as Palptine is concerned he can work with whichever choice Obi Wan chooses, can refer back to the debate if he wants to make Obi Wan seem hidebound or a hypocrite when the time comes to break the relationship between Obi Wan and Anakin.

Only…Obi Wan does not quite cooperate. No matter what the ‘qualities’ that Palpatine chooses (always geared to be backhanded insults to the Jedi Order), Obi Wan always, always, always argues that the key is to act with compassion.  And he’s good at it. Obi Wan thinks that Palpatine is helping him teach Anakin how to disagree with someone without getting nasty, how to debate for fun and games, so goes into each debate with all of his focus and energy and effort but no vitriol.  By the time Palptine even thinks to make an argument to make compassion seem like a weakness, he is intrigued by these debates. By this argument of acting with compassion first and foremost. 

It should be noted that, for all that Palpatine was working toward the genocide of the Jedi and was creating all kinds of vaguely plausible propaganda, he had actually rarely interacted with the Jedi beyond the superficial, until Obi Wan and Anakin, (even with Yan Dooku, since the focus was on corrupting the Jedi, not understanding him) so does not actually know what what is and is not a Jedi trait outside of rumors.  

These debates change Palpatine. Oh, not at once, not in weeks or months or even years. But with such a creeping slowness that it is unnoticeable, Palpatine changes. The compassion Obi Wan talks about so enthusiastically sinks into his bones. Of course, every time Palpatine finds himself acting with compassion, he has a ready excuse for himself (to gain an ally, hurting that person would be more effort than it was worth, etc.). He also finds that he genuinely begins to enjoy Obi Wan and Anakin’s company (and begins to feel somewhat paternal toward them), and can genuinely call both master and padawan his friends. 

This does not stop Dooku’s corruption, though Palpatine is more careful not to let the Jedi know he is a Sith. It doesn't even stop the clone wars.  The first large effect that this infusion of compassion has is with the Coruscant Guard. These were the first beings that Palpatine interacted with that were, without a doubt, innocent. In Palpatine's mind he could make an argument that every other being or group has some responsibility, no matter how small for what is coming. But the Clones do not. What’s more, Palpatine perceives the Coruscant Guard as his. They were his personal clones. Palpatine is still undoubtedly a Sith, and though Compassion has infected him, he is obsessively protective of what he considered his. 

Palpatine quickly manufactures reasons to do away with, by death or other means, many of his more odious allies. All of them for the crime of laying a hand on his Coruscant Guard. He treats the CG with all the compassion that he had, instead of just paying lip service when cameras are on.  And in return the CG are as loving and loyal to him as the rest of the GAR is to the Jedi generals.  In fact, for every act of compassion he performs, he finds that he is rewarded with admiration and later love (and not just from the clones). It becomes a cycle of reinforcement drawing him from the depths of the evil he has sunk to.  

Do not get me wrong, Palpatine is not a good person. For the first two years of the war he is still actively working toward the death of the Jedi and the enslavement of the clones.  He is still leading both sides of the war, if a little more hands off from the Separatists. He may consider Obi Wan a friend, but that mainly means he intends to make sure his death is painless (as even now he could see how Operation Knightfall and Order 66 would hurt Obi Wan immensely and wanted to spare him that). 

Then comes the day when Obi Wan brings his Commander to meet the Chancellor. They have come to, among other things, announce their engagement and their intention to marry after the war was over.  Obi Wan wants Palptine to officiate. In this world the Anidala elopement is well known, and accepted, and both Obi Wan and Palpatine have playfully bitched to each other (and to Anakin and Padme) about not getting to be there for the wedding. 

Palpatine is beyond flattered, and ecstatic for his friend and the love that he had found. In his head he begins to plan the outfit he would wear as the officiant. It is two hours later, in his apartment, that it hits him. He had been thinking about how Fox, one of his commanders, had talked about his brother Cody. How much Cody loved Obi Wan and how happy Fox was that they were getting married. Palpatine realized that if things go as planned, there will be no wedding, as both the grooms would be dead, or as good as. That epiphany it trailed into the realization that his clones, even if they remain free, would have to face their enslaved brothers. The brothers he enslaved. Somehow that shakes him as nothing else, the thought that the Coruscant Guard might lose their regard for him for enslaving their brothers.

In that instant he decided that the love he could feel from the clones was more important than any Sith plan. (Frankly, I can think of few things more Sithlike than deciding their own wants mean more than the 1000 year plan that is almost complete) Which meant that he would need to dismantle the plan without giving away what he was. 

Luckily he has always had a patsy around, just in case the great Sith plan was discovered too early. 

His first step is to arrange the deaths of anyone who knows that Sheev Palpatine is Darth Sidious (frankly there aren’t many).  Then he pulls out the fake correspondence he has on hand for this kind of occasion (Not for nothing Palpatine is a planner, I have no doubt he has a plan to frame someone else as Sidious) that does a very good job of implying that Sidious had control of Palpatine, and would use him to enact Order 66 and a report about the chips by the Kamionoans to Dooku.  He uses the same techniques he had employed to hide his Dark presence, to create a facade in his mind. 

Then he has Commander Fox, and a handful of other CG, to escort him to the Jedi temple.  He makes a show of acting strangely, closing in on frantic one moment, dazed the next, saying strange things about needing to tell the Jedi and ‘forgetting’ he said anything a moment later.  Generally do an excellent job of appearing as if he was breaking through some kind of control. They get him in front of the Jedi High Council, the members still on planet (Mace Windu, Obi Wan Kenobie, Yoda, Ki Adi Mundi) and he hands over the information. In between ‘fits’ (at one point letting his darkness out to change his eyes, then having it change back) he describes waking up in his office to see the documents on the Padd he handed over. Realizing first what it meant for the Guard, then what it meant for his friends in the Jedi.  Feeling like he is fighting against something to even bring the documents this far but knowing that it was critical, to protect the Coruscant Guard. 

His act is bought. The trail he leaves (with just enough hints of evidence that doesn’t fit to keep it seem like it is frame-up) leads the Jedi exactly where he wanted them, to an aide in his office that has been with him since his earliest days.  This Aide (who is little more than a mindless puppet, with enough Force sensitivity to fool whatever tests the Jedi will do) claims to be Darth Sidious, does the villain’s monologue, shoots Sith lightning, and is killed by some very angry members of the Coruscant Guard. 

With the ‘Sith Master’ dead, the war ends swiftly.  Dooku surrenders for the Separatists on the condition that he gets an invitation to Obi Wan’s wedding.  The Clones begin the process of dechipping, and are given citizenship (with all the rights and back pay and a planet of their own) spearheaded by Palpatine, which wins him major points with the delegation of 2000. 

Palpatine is ‘cleared’ by the Jedi mindhealers (who contrary to their name do not actually look into anyone’s mind) and the small amount of darkness that lets show is listed as a side effect of being puppeted by a Sith for so long.  It is eventually decided, encouraged by Palpatine, that is was Palptine’s love for the clones that gave him a chance to fight back against Darth Sidious, but it was his friendship with Obi Wan and Anakin that gave him the strength to even break free enough to love the clones. Both Obi Wan and Anakin are required to go to mind healers as well, just in case Sidious did anything to them in the form of Palpatine. Because Palpatine chose, fairly early on, to not corrupt either of them but the natural damages of being at war were also discovered and worked on (In this universe Anakin did not slaughter the Tuskans. Without Palpatine actively sabotaging his and Obi Wan’s relationship, they were able to discuss his vision a bit more openly and Obi Wan got Vos to go save Shmi. Ironically her time held by the Tuskans, who were deeply impressed by her kindness even in the face of torture, let her learn enough that she was able to a major part of a treaty between the Tuskans and the Moisture Farmers).

Palpatine gracefully retires, making sure to give back all the emergency powers (so that the next Chancellor cannot use them) and steps into an advisory role, discovering that he has almost all the influence he had as Chancellor and none of the responsibility or blame. The death of his patsy gave Palpatine a reputation for being nigh on incorruptible, because all of of the small, infrequent acts of compassion or kindness throughout his time a Chancellor were seen as his true self breaking through the control of the horrible Sith (who was considered to have taken control of him as a child). In addition the Jedi made it extremely clear how rare it was to have the mental fortitude to break through Sith control.   

With all of the accolades, his all but legendary hero status through the Republic, the way his advice is accepted practically as law and good, Palpatine quickly realizes that he actually got everything most of his Sith Ancestors would have wanted.  Yes, the Jedi still live but he is welcomed among them (the perfect position to, should he decide to, corrupt the order from the inside out), and any darkness on his part will be ignored and remnants of ‘Darth Sidious’. He may not have an outright empire, but his advice continues to be sought out and implemented (99% he advocates for compassion, whatever is the most compassionate answer to the problem) and his influence is near universal. It did not matter how long a feud or argument had been going on, both sides would accept whatever compromise he suggested. 

He does get to be the officiant at the CodyWan wedding, most of the beings there are using the ceremony as another reason to roast Anidala for their elopement.  

Somehow everyone does get a happily ever after.

[lcngliive]

below the cut, you'll find my combination plotting and starter call! i absolutely did steal sunny's lil thing for this, ily sunny xoxo - but here is my call! I will be dropping a good number of the threads that I have in preparation for this bc I am overwhelmed at the sheer number that I have in my threadtracker and haven't been able to fully catch up - so I'll be using this as an excuse to get some fresh threads for my characters!

I'll be capping my starters at four per character and three per mun, please be specific when asking for a starter! ( just a note, any threads for blind dates don't count towards this number! )

so if you'd like to plot, give this a lil like! I will also be sticking it in the plotting channel in discord and will be messaging people about plotting in the morning!

anakin skywalker going with padme amidala

anakin is absolutely not in the mood for a ball or anything of the sort, but he's here to be with padme, despite everything that's going on in his head. he will be avoiding the rest of his family and just sticking with padme and when she's busy he will be standing around awkwardly. he used to be up for things like these, mostly so he could spend time with padme and let loose a little, but now, it just puts him on edge.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 0 / 4

annie james going with chris hartley ( blind date )

annie loves any excuse to throw together a fancy dress and wear tit just so people will ask her about it. she signed up for the blind date thinking it would be fun and it probs will be - she's never really done anything like this and hasn't actually dated since coming to the city. she will be drinking (even tho she's not technically allowed here ) and dancing the night away. will be just up for a good time tbh.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 0 / 4

ansel of briarcliff

ansel is admittedly not a party girl, but she's recently aware after being unaware in the city for a few years so - they're looking for anyone they might know. might even be convinced to dance if someone cute comes along, who knows.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 0 / 4

astraea illen going with sheev palaptine

astraea loves a good party and the excuse to wear a fancy dress even more. they're going with sheev, which imo is a match made in hell lmaoooo - but they're both hot so ? let them have fun. will 100% be being his arm candy for the night and will probs force him to dance with her. they'll also be keeping an eye on any jedi, making sure they stay away from kore and her friends.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 1 / 4 sheev

ben solo going with ariana dumbledore

parent night out! ben is glad for just something nice and chill for once, he actually wants to spend some uninterrupted time with his fiance without three kids lmao. will probably be forced to dance with ari, not that he's complaining, he actually does kinda enjoy it but will never say that out loud :).

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 0 / 4

bo katan kryze

bo absolutely hates parties like this, always has and they always will. it reminds her too much of the parties her parents would have as a child - but she's still here. will be standing in the corner drinking and may even be convinced to flirt if a pretty girl comes around so who knows, you might get them to dance.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 2 / 4 hera, ellie

cami o'connell going with alani tiure ( blind date )

cami has been on a few blind dates in her time, but this one seemed interesting - the whole idea of the masked ball. also means that there's some room for chaos when no one can really tell who she is. will be drinking (probs both kinds) and dancing the night away while probs causing trouble with her date.

drinking (maybe both kinds :) ) || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 0 / 4

cassian

cass is just praying for one normal night where he and his fam can just have fun and not have to worry about any problems that they might have. will be getting drunk and dancing (sorry to the ic who needs to deal with him) he just wants to spend some time without having to worry about everyone so this is perfect for him.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting ( with nesta exclusively) || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 1 / 4 aluma

cerridwen going with parvati patil ( blind date )

cerri is def more of a stand to the side and observe kind of person, they aren't really one for dancing - so she will just be standing chatting to people tbh? will also not be drinking to keep an eye on the inner circle just to make sure no one breaks anything (this is absolutely @ cassian and it's hilarious bc i play him and he's an idiot)

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 0 / 4

eros vane

eros has never been one for a party, but he does love any excuse to get drunk so, this is right up his street lmao. he is lowkey still annoyed abt his kid not knowing who anyone is, so will be getting blackout drunk to forget about that for a while - also might flirt a lil, most of it won't end up going anywhere, but he is not against leaving with a handsome person if you know what i mean, wink wink.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 1 / 4 alastor, kore

ewan mckinnon going with maddie mckinnon

alexa play one normal night from the addams family. all ewan wants is one normal night to not worry about anything but having a good time with his wife and dancing with her. he's trying to forget all of the problems and just going to have a good time. but will that happen? who knows.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 1 / 4 maddie

feirge going with leslie macher ( blind date )

feirge absolutely has no idea what any of this is? but regardless of it, she's enjoying herself. does she know what drinking and dancing is? absolutely not, but will she be doing it? yep. sorry to anyone who interacts with her, she might get really drunk. she might even be a weepy drunk, so uh sorry to anyone who knows her. signed up for a blind date, has no idea what it is lmaoo.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 0 / 4

godric gryffindor going with addison montgomery ( blind date )

it's been years since godric has been to a party like this, and also years since he's had any sort of date. but he's interested in everything that's happening. can be persuaded to dance probably and will be exploring the museum to see what's around all while drinking.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 1 / 4 sylvie, helga

hades

hades is absolutely only here out of formalities because of his position amongst the elite of Washington dc. he's not here for any other reason other than to say hello to the right people he needs to and then he is absolutely leaving early.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 3 / 4 feng yu, jane, apollo

imogen cardulo going with garrick tavis ( they forced him )

im absolutely dragged garrick here with them and will be forcing him to have a good time, and if that means getting plastered - so be it :). imogen isn't really a party girlie, but they're here to forget about everything that's going on in her life for a night at least and maybe dance around like an idiot for a while with her friends.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 1 / 4 garrick

jiang cheng going with wen qing

okay this man is absolutely as stiff as a board, def does not mix well with others - so who tf knows why he's at something like this??? but he's trying to be better at interacting with people. will probably be lightly drinking and networking with people. he's going with wen qing, idk why either of them thought it was a good idea, but here they are. also me and kasey did not plan their fits lmaooo.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 2 / 4 wei wuxian, jiang yanli

jing xi going with cullen rutherford

she's never really had the chance to experience anything like this before, so part of her is excited, but the other part is also nervous. she'll most likely be dancing the night away and just enjoying herself without any cares in the world. will also be exploring the museum.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 0 / 4

kaltain rompier going enid sinclair ( blind date )

parties and balls are what kaltain was brought up on, but after everything that happened back home, they're always on edge, scared that something will happen - so she will be sticking close to the walls and 100% looking for an out. has a blind date, but doesn't know why she even signed her name for it - so will be possibly sticking closer to those they know before most likely leaving early.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || hiding in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 0 / 4

kirei monsula going with omega ( just besties )

absolutely just two besties going to the ball, platonic af, no feelings involved. kirei absolutely has feelings for omega but does not know it yet. they're absolutely getting drunk (sorry mom and uncle kasil) and making out with her bestie ( that's what besties do wdym ). will be dancing and exploring around the place and is also up for a lil chaos as well.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 0 / 4

lan sizhui going with brittnay matthews ( blind date )

sizhui is absolutely not a party person, but this looked like fun, so he's going to at least attempt to enjoy himself and spend the night either exploring or just chatting with different people. he signed up for the blind date thing and isn't 100% sure about it yet lmao.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 0 / 4

lucien vanserra going with elain archeron

lucien lowkey has mask trauma after having to wear one for a fucking long ass time, but they're here to have a good time with their wife and not to think about all of the shit that's imploding within his life rn so. also @ feyre do not make a fox mask joke, that's supposed to be ur bestie :(((( .

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 0 / 4

marion lochan

marion used to love parties when she was still back home, the idea of putting on a fancy dress and just enjoying herself is something she hasn't had the chance to do in a while, so she's excited. she's probs going to be exploring the museum trying to learn everything she can while she's there also while dancing and drinking a lil.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 1 / 4 lu junyi

mira sorrengail going with keelan cardulo

mira just wants one normal night to dance with her girlfriend and just have some fun without anything happening. so she'll be getting drunk - might cause some trouble lmaooo. but she's out here just having a good time, so she will be getting drunk for once and just enjoying herself.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting (just with keelan lmao) || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 0 / 4

na'rena zenn going with cindy moon ( blind date )

rena is still trying to get used to how she looks now, but is absolutely a sucker for a party so - catch her getting drunk af and flirting with pretty people and dancing. she will be exploring the museum and will be up for some chaos so :)))) also rip to her friends, bc ur probs gonna need to find someone to carry her home.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 0 / 4

parker halliwell going with roxanne weasley

parker is absolutely going to lose her mind if she doesn't get one normal night out with roxy - all she wants is to dance the night away and spend time with them without things going wrong. will be exploring, dancing, drinking and having a great time.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 0 / 4

penelope garcia

penelope loves parties and she loves getting to wear cute and fancy clothes, so this is right up her street. they'll be networking and speaking to people all while drinking and dancing - will be making friends with everyone and anyone, so good luck to people bc pen will talk ur ear off.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 1 / 4 alex

ridoc going with alicent hightower ( blind date )

ridoc is here to have a good time, not a long time lmao - will absolutely be getting drunk so sorry to anyone who knows him. you might find him passed out in one of the exhibits lmaooo. but other than that, he'll be dancing, exploring the museum and annoying his friends.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 0 / 4

sarra palpatine going with with nigel thornberry ( blind date )

sarra is here mostly out of formalities, since she works in the white house, but is actually determined to have somewhat of a good night. considering the last gala had monsters, she's going to be on edge, but will try and have fun. signed up for a blind date, but she's not sure about the idea of it lmao.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 1 / 4 sabina

shin hati going with needy lesnicki ( blind date )

this is absolutely not shin's scene, they do not like people and don't know why they're here. will probably just be standing in the corner and drinking. will be keeping an eye on people as she goes.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 1 / 4 zash

sidney prescott going with rosalie hale ( blind date )

sid is absolutely on edge with all of the ghostfaces around, but she'd going to attempt to have a good time - will that happen? who knows. is absolutely packing under her dress so, rip to anyone who tries her. but other than that, she'll be trying to enjoy herself and probably drink a lil and dance.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 2 / 4 rosalie, monica

silena beauregard going with clarisse la rue

did silena force clarisse to come with her? yes xoxo. silena loves dressing up and wearing pretty clothing, so this is right up her alley - esp with being a daughter of aphordite, the goddess of love, even tho they have no idea that's their mom lmao. but she loves the idea of valentines day and love in general. will desperately be trying to ignore the feelings she has for her best friend, but might blurt them out after a drink or two who knows.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 2 / 4 clarisse, jester

sirius black

sirius is absolutely not having a good time, but they'll be getting drunk as a skunk and will probs end up passed out somewhere, but what's new for him lmao? might even be convinced to dance or they'll just be standing in the corner moping mostly bc marlene is unaware as has no idea who he is lmao.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 1 / 4 ramona

varian going with amren

varian is just excited for a normal evening with amren, no chaos happening and he's hoping that nothing does happen, bc they deserve a normal date night pls nd thanks. will be drinking and probs exploring the museum, seeing what this world is really like.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 0 / 4

vesta blackbeak going with anastasia tremaine ( blind date )

vesta loves chaos, they are a lil demon and will cause as much trouble as she can. will be drinking and probably dancing. is going to be ignoring that some of the thirteen don't know who they are and will probs be dragging the ones that do remember her to dance, so soz to them. is def up for a lil chaos, so if ur up for that, vesta is the witch to see.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 0 / 4

winter celchu going with paige swanson ( blind date )

winter absolutely put her name down for a blind date as a formality with the white house. she will also be spending time with her sister and helping her get to the #presidentflorgana state again, she will absolutely be no better - will be dancing and drinking just to forget all of the stuff that's happened in the last year, will also be steering clear of people she doesn't like. will need to be carried home, sorry ahsoka xoxo.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 0 / 4

zoe nightshade

zoe is absolutely not a party person, but they will be there just to keep an eye on the demigods in the city - despite the fact that they're not a hunter anymore. she still feels obligated to protect demigods, even the men, but they will probs be sticking close to thalia, the only person that they know very well, despite them having no memories.

drinking || dancing || general chatting || exploring the museum || people watching || snacking in the corner || flirting || looking for an out || chaos

starters: 0 / 4

[nobodysdaydreams]

Crack/Crangst idea you want to share?

Once again, a perfect anon, because in anticipation of Star Wars Day, my brain came up with a crack Star Wars AU and now I have an excuse to share it (it’s more crack than Crangst, but I hope you like it!)

This crack au features Anakin and Palpatine as semi-problematic grandparents in an au where Anakin never turns, but Palpatine is never discovered and keeps evilly plotting and cloning himself a son while Anakin and Padme raise their family together. Eventually, Anakin and Padme become grandparents to Ben and Palpatine becomes Rey’s problematic boomer grandpa who shows up at his son’s house on Jakku holidays in order to try to bribe is granddaughter with presents to get her to join the darkside.

Details of this AU include the following in no particular order:

Palpatine cloning himself a son and asking everyone not to question who the boy is or where he came from

Anakin and Padme congratulate Palpatine on his son. Even though Palpatine is fuming because his son is powerless but of course Anakin’s children are some of the most powerful in the galaxy, he has to pretend to be a good father, for the sake of public appearances. He’s really bad at it.

Palpatine initially plans on naming his son “clone attempt 53” or something until his advisors tell him it will look bad if he doesn’t give his son an actual name. Palpatine lazily picks the first name he thinks of and then forgets it and continuously calls his son by the wrong name.

Palpatine’s adult son has to give his dad multiple talks about boundaries and why he shouldn’t be telling his ten-year-old granddaughter Sith legends as bedtime stories

Palpatine (reading a bedtime story to five year old Rey): “Tell me child, have you ever heard of the tragedy of Darth Plageuis the wise? It’s not a story your weak and powerless father would tell you.”

Rey’s Father (yelling from the hallway): “Dad, you know I can hear you, right?”

When it comes to Rey, Palpatine is thrilled that his creepy evil Sith experiments FINALLY created a grandchild with the power he desires, only to discover that power comes with a force bond to, you guessed it, another Skywalker. (Palpatine’s hatred for the Skywalker family grows with every passing generation he fails to turn to the dark side).

Han would for sure make a comment about Sheev being old and say something like “isn’t it weird this guy never seems to die even though he was like super old when Anakin was a kid? And how does he randomly have a son? Where did that guy even come from?” These comments drive Palpatine crazy, but Han is Leia Organa (or Leia Skywalker in this AU)’s husband so he gets away with it. (Also Han regularly almost exposes Palpatine’s plans by making casual jokes. This is not on purpose, Han has no clue what’s going on, and he just sort of roams around the senate building while his wife is in meetings causing trouble and speaking out of turn without a care in the world, but Palpatine grows weary of him and constantly has to change his plans because he thinks Han must be onto him but really Han is just snooping around cause he’s bored).

To Palpatine’s utter disappointment, Rey loves the Jedi. An elderly Anakin specifically takes her under his wing, as she reminds him of a young Ashoka. Plus they both grew up in poverty on a desert planet (because Rey’s dad moved out as soon as he could) so I think they’d have a lot to talk about. I can see Anakin showing up to Luke’s Jedi school specifically to take the kids on fun and dangerous missions and Luke can’t say anything against it because it’s his own dad doing this. I like to imagine Anakin and Rey, impulsive little sand orphans that they are, running around on Jedi missions getting messy and ruining their clothes while Padme and Ben (who would bond over their love of fashion and dramatically stylish capes) always look like they’re trying to be on the cover of a fashion magazine. Also you can’t tell me Padme wouldn’t dress her little grandson, baby Benny, up in the cutest little outfits.

Little Ben, Finn, and Rey go to Jedi training together and Palpatine tries his best to get Rey to spill secrets on Luke and his other students to figure out how to turn them. He teaches her to use force lightening and tries to get her to use it against her classmates but instead Rey teaches her new trick to her friends, who accidentally zap Palpatine in the face. He is not amused. Han accidentally makes jokes about his appearance at a senate meeting in front of a microphone that was left on.

In a last ditch desperate effort to get his apprentice, Palpatine invites himself to Luke’s Jedi school, and when Luke is distracted, he tries to bribe Ben, Rey, and Finn into joining the dark side using the promise of things kids like, including toys and candy. He tried the same thing with Luke and Leia when they were young and it fails both times

There is a point where everyone (eventually) figures out Palpatine is evil, but by then, Palpatine is so old and out of it, it doesn’t really matter. There’s one time where he dramatically tries to stand up and take the energy from Rey and Ben’s force bond at a family party, but then his old man knees give out and he topples over and falls asleep in his chair. I’m not much of a Reylo shipper, but I do think it would be funny if he tried this during the objections portion of their wedding and Poe and Finn have to awkwardly and uncomfortably escort him out like wedding bouncers. I also think it would be funny if during this he yelled something like “Fools! I am all the Sith!” or “You will find that it is YOU who are mistaken!” or “Stand together… die together!” with zero context and shoots forth the teeniest weakest little flash of force lightening he can muster and everyone just writes him off as being an old person who’s starting to lose it.

Might add more later but I hope this finds its target audience.

[saphronethaleph]

Palpatine Deafeted

“Long have I waited… for my grandchild to come home,” Palpatine said, smugly. “I never wanted you dead. I wanted you here… Empress Palpatine.”

He waved his hand at the throne.

Rey glanced at it, cocking her head slightly, then continued to walk towards him.

“You will take the throne,” Palpatine said. “It is your birthright to rule here. It is your blood. Our blood.”

Rey just kept approaching him, and Palpatine frowned slightly before deciding to skip a few pages.

“You want to kill me,” he said. “That is what I want. Kill me, and my spirit will pass into you. As all the Sith live in me… you will be Empress… and we will be one.”

Rey was still advancing, and Palpatine started to get a bit concerned.

“If you strike me down, your journey to the Dark Side will be complete,” he said. “I have no weapon! With your hatred, you will take my life-”

Rey cut his head off.

A minute or so later, Ben Solo entered the room.

“What was that explosion?” he asked. “I heard it from out there!”

He looked around, spotting no Palpatine, a large crater, and a slightly dazed looking Rey.

“Rey!” he said. “There you are – I knew you were coming here!”

She looked up at him, frowned slightly, and he spread his hands. “I don’t have a lightsaber any more, which, by the way, I actually really hope you can get some help regarding that at some point because the explosion distracted my followers but it isn’t going to keep distracting them. Um…”

He looked from her, to the destroyed medical equipment, and did his best to put two and two together.

“Did you kill your grandfather?” he asked. “Honestly I know you wouldn’t have believed it from me six hours ago, but, great work!”

“What?” Rey replied, loudly. “I’m sorry, did you say something?”

“...uh,” Ben said, because he wasn’t sure what he was expecting but it hadn’t been that. “I’ve… asked at least two questions and been saying quite a lot. Are you all right?”

“You’re welcome?” Rey said, quite blatantly guessing about what Ben was saying. “It was actually really easy, I don’t know why anyone had trouble with it. He didn’t fight back or anything. I guess maybe he’ll come back again in future but it’s going to be just as easy to do it again? Maybe coming back from the dead absolutely destroys your ability to use the Force or something.”

“...that’s not remotely what I said,” Ben muttered, then realized that speech was getting him nowhere and began using sign language.

Rey just stared at his hands.

“Is that some kind of mind trick?” she asked, still loudly. “It’s not working.”

Ben rubbed his temples, then gestured to her ears.

“Yes, there is quite a loud ringing noise,” Rey agreed. “I think one of the explosions overhead might have started some kind of alarm going off.”

Ben blinked.

“...you have tinnitus?” he asked.

“If we tell the Sith Eternal that I cut their god’s head off, maybe they’ll stop?” Rey suggested.

“Okay, this is getting ridiculous,” Ben said. “We’re having one and a half conversations.”

Rey looked very confused.

“I got it from your mother!” she answered. “But I never learned to use two.”

Ben rolled his eyes, then took Rey by the shoulders and rotated her to face the door he’d come through.

When the Knights of Ren emerged, brandishing their weapons, they saw Rey standing next to the crater which was where Sheev Palpatine had been about five minutes ago.

“Fair warning!” Rey shouted to them. “I don’t know why but the last person I killed exploded!”

The Knights of Ren promptly ran away again.

“That’s a Jedi thing, right?” Rey added, still shouting. “Trying to resolve a fight without fighting?”

She indicated where Palpatine had been. “I was hoping I could solve the whole war just by killing him, since he’s apparently responsible for all wars. By the way, why did you listen to him exactly?”

“I didn’t know it was him!” Ben protested. “Within twelve hours of finding out I’d turned back to the Light Side. It’s been a very complicated day.”

“I found the Wayfinder on Kef Bir!” Rey said. “You know that!”

Ben began rummaging in his pockets to see if he had the materials to jury-rig some kind of rudimentary dry-erase marker pen and whiteboard.

[jedidryad]

WIP Wednesday: Ghosts by caves spouting philosophy

This snippet is mostly dialogue without a ton of setting around it. I tend to start with dialogue. On Nirauan, Mara informs Luke that her mission with Lando to track down Car'das took "some years." Zahn put a few details into his retcon of their romance to make this alternative explanation seem plausible, but canon really only gives us glimpses of their mission together. This leaves it up to me to create the journey to find Car'das, and so I have decided that the beckon call is so untraceable, that Lando and Mara need to go back to where Luke found it to look for clues. And so a restless and conflicted Mara Jade finds herself on Dagobah. Guess who she runs into there.

“Yes, strong with the dark side that cave is. In you will go?”

I took three steps back as the presence that had drawn us to land in that particular part of the planet seemed to intensify. I turned towards the glow I could see out of the corner of my left eye.

There, presenting the illusion of sitting on a lichen covered rock, was a small green creature wearing what appeared to be Old Republic Jedi robes that were decidedly worse for the wear. 

“Mara Jade.”

“Who are you?”

“Guess you may.”

There was only one possibility: “Jedi Master Yoda.”

“See you can, Mara Jade, yes. See you do.” He cackled with an incomprehensible glee, “Calls to Jedi, this cave does.”

“I am not a Jedi.”

“Not yet, no.” The ghostly Jedi Master agreed.

I could sense the darkness from the cave, like tendrils reaching out to me, familiar, but no longer soothing.

“I’m not going in there.” I informed the ghost as I was reminded of kneeling at Palpatine’s feet for long hours. My knees smarted in remembrance. That cave felt like his presence. His laugh reverberated through my mind. 

“Hmm.” Master Yoda raised his chin and I could read neither his tone nor his expression, “much pain you are in, Mara Jade.”

I rolled my eyes. This was 900 years of wisdom?

“Yeah yeah. Everyone knows I’m in pain.”

“Hurt you, the darkness has. Hurt you very much.” He sighed then with a depth that made me think he actually knew what he was talking about.

“What do you know about it?” I snapped. If he was going to hang around haunting me, he may as well make himself useful.

“The dark side.” Yoda said, holding my gaze firmly, “surround you it did.”

“I think that’s pretty kriffing obvious.”

“So certain are you,” he cackled again before sobering, “hide your light, you have.”

“What light?”

“Obvious that is not, I see,” he tightened his wrinkled lips, “disillusioned you are. Trust in the Force, you cannot.”

“Well that’s better than being taken in by some sort of illusion isn’t it? Or do you like your illusions like Skywalker does?”

The specter began to cackle again and graced me with a toothy grin.

“False, illusions are, Mara Jade. Also false, disillusionment is.”

“How can the truth be false?”

“Hhhheeeehhhheheh. Not false, no. Incomplete, it is. Merely another illusion.”

“Palpatine was an illusion. Katarn and Skywalker were also illusions. Is there anything that isn’t an illusion?”

“Important questions these are, mmmm?”

“Why do I feel like you’re making fun of me?”

“Amusing the mind of a student is.”

“I am not your student!”

“A student of the Force, you cannot help but be”.

“I can and I will. I decide my destiny, not some trumped up Force that is never there when I need it. And certainly not some ancient Jedi Master that couldn’t stop the galaxy from falling into the hands of Sheev Palpatine.”

I watched as my enraged accusation seemed to float through the specter without leaving a mark. 

“A student you were though?”

“At the academy? Sure. I tried to train there. I tried to train with Katarn too. He fell to the dark side. Doesn’t sound like a smart choice for a teacher does it? Skywalker too. I grew up in darkness. Like you said, it’s still hurting me. I’d be a fool to go looking for more.”

“Mmmm timing, yes." I blinked at his nonsequitur, "important it is. Very important. Always moving the time is. Forward, forward. Always moving, you are too, Mara Jade.”

“It sounds like you don’t think I’m moving forward.”

“Heard that you did, hmm? Always in motion is the future. Uncertain it is whether forward or backwards we travel.”

“How did Luke ever learn anything from your maddening riddles?”

“Learn he did. Teach he did. So you will. It is the way of things.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Strong in the Force, you are.”

“No I’m not. I can barely touch it half the time.”

“The Force’s problem, that is not."

[posthumousvigor]

You know, I think its kind of cool how plot holes and bad writing encourage creativity in an audience. When I was a kid, I thought that the reason Anakin personally late-term aborted all them kids was because he wanted to ensure they were killed quickly and as painlessly as possible. I thought it was some sort of twisted compassion meant to show how his character had become corrupt yet still fundamentally the same. In trying to understand why something without sufficient explanation was happening, I gave the story new depth and meaning. Not like I'm a genius or anything, just an audience member taking part in creation.

I talked to my dad recently about the star war and he was surprised about the whole Force Jesus thing because this whole time he thought it was Palpatine's ~evil machinations~ or whatever. For over 20 years this man thought my boy Sheev abducted shmi and artificially knocked her up little green alien style as an experiment to create the most powerful force user. Which is kind of convoluted but I like it better than Jesus Christ Superstar laser sword edition full color vhs 50% off at walmart. Here's another person building their own art in their mind based on filling a hole (lol) left by the original media.

I mean, it happens in fandom all the time. Idk how many arguments I've seen where one or both people are duking it out based on... something that never happened. But in their beautiful mind palace it happened. And that would be such a wonderful phenomenon if they could only stop whipping out slurs every time they start to lose the argument. Keep on fighting those cuck windmills buddy I'm sure it'll work at some point

I'd still prefer a well written story, obviously, but I just love how people can't help but be creative, even if its 1999 and they're just in the car on the way home from the movies trying to work out what all that midichlorians shit was about. The collaborative process of creation can't stop, even if everyone held hands and agreed to never tag anything as #meta again. Art is never finished.

Anyway remember when everybody was foaming at the mouth over Jar Jar Binks was a Sith Lord theories? Good times

[andorerso]

Let's play a tumblr game. Your ships are:

You/Sheev Palpatine (jk, you don't have to answer this one because I already know your feelings on this)

the main character of the last TV show you watched/the lead character of the last movie you watched

Kleya Marki/Jyn Erso

oh no, you gave me a challenge and I'll do the challenge!

Me/Sheev Palpatine:

obviously he's the love of my life 💜 (in all honesty... let me marry him just so I can slit his throat at night and get it over with. bam, no one else dies, no one "somehow returns", everyone lives happily ever after. I save the star war)

last show I watched was Supernatural (listen... it's my comfort show 😭) and since it was a Dean-centric episode and he's my preferred brother, I'll choose him. the last movie was.... hmm, I had to check but it was Triangle (2009). the MC is played by Melissa George who genuinely looks like she just stepped out of Supernatural, and the plot of the movie would fit really well into an episode, so that's strangely perfect. (great movie btw, I recommend).

so Dean Winchester/Jess (Triangle):

I could definitely see Dean going for her, and Jess reciprocating, but it's hard to say more without spoiling the movie so... I'll just say initially it makes sense, but it wouldn't work out.

Kleya/Jyn:

it makes sense in a "we had a wild slightly antagonistic one night-stand years ago" kinda way, although I'll say Kleya does remind me of Cassian sometimes, so who knows... it could work!! not my favorite Jyn femslash ship, but I'm intrigued by the possibility

send me a ship and I'll classify it