Me listening to magp 8: What a fascinating spin on a Lonely statement that asks what if it was the Place that was lonely, so hungry that it desires to quite literally ea- WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK WHAT WHAT WHAT THE FUCKKK WHATTTTTT FUCKING WHAT WHAT COME AGAIN HUH WHAT FUCKING WH
[ID: Cartoony art of people who look comically shocked, terrified, and overwhelmed, with their eyes bugging out and their mouth open, sweating in shock and trembling. End ID]
[Plain text: Multiple variations of "What the fuck" and "come again" written in caps lock. End PT]
[Thank you to @princess-of-purple-prose and @ryutarotakedown for the id's :] I hope it's ok to merge the two!]
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Introducing everyone to my Alastor headcannon!
He's a deer right? And what are deer well-known for? Yes, yes, staring un-waveringly into your soul in the middle of a country road in the twilight hours.
But what else are they known for?
As soon as something happens, they are GONE. They run so fast and with such wild-abandon to just get the fuck out of wherever they are they they go hurtling through the brush never to be seen again.
This brings my to my head cannon - Alastor is easily skittish, he is just fortunate that his deer-caught-in-headlights instinct takes over long enough for him to grapple with his fear and restrain the part of himself that wants to flee, so instead he just stares unwavering and intimidatingly with that cocky grin until he has enough composure to begin talking again.
Now, sometimes, sometimes his instincts are too strong. And sometimes, he cannot stay composed, especially after a particularly bad fright, like bumping into Nifty or Angel Dust stalking the corridors of the hotel silently at night. What happens then? Alastor freezes for mere seconds, and then goes hurtling as fast as he can in whatever direction his feet decide to take him.
Sometimes, much to his dismay, his feet decide to propel him into the nearest wall before he even realises where he is heading.
This has led to many encounters where Alastor appears to bolt head-first into a wall for no other explanation than he felt like it, and he leaves Angel Dust as confused as ever as he bounces back from the impact, shocked from his deer-like-terror, and begins a conversation as normal, ignoring the new antler shaped hole in the wall he had just careened into.
No one dares question him about this odd behaviour, and the residents of the hotel have just had to accept that they often see the sole's of his shoes as he sprints full-pelt away from them at the drop of a hat.
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On the way back home from a social event for my partner's job.
B: Hey, can I tell you something silly?
Me: Always.
B: You know how in Bridgerton, Daphne being seen with Simon elevates her social status? Because everyone thinks that if Simon is courting her then she must be more desirable than they previously thought?
Me: First, I love that you're making a Bridgerton reference but yes, I am familiar with this.
B: I feel the same way whenever I take you to things and people realize that you're with me. Because they give me a second look, you know? Because you're so special--if you're with me I must be special too.
Me:
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Monnac
Screenshot from Without Warning
[Without Warning is better on paper than it is in practice. The Most Dangerous Game with an alien! The low budget predecessor to Predator! In reality, it’s a pretty boring slasher movie, with long stretches of characters wandering around in the dark. It’s livened up by the special effects, which are entertainingly gruesome, and by the presence of character actors like Cameron Mitchell, Jack Palance and Walter Matthau hamming it up.
The alien in the movie goes un-named; my name for it is based on the name of the special effects designer, John Cannom. It also has no explicitly supernatural powers in the movie, but the theme of paranoia is so strong that I wanted to do something with it. Also gives the monster something to do in combat besides lob starfish around.]
Monnac
CR 7 NE Monstrous Humanoid
This creature stands taller than a man. It has a swollen, bulbous head with compound eyes and a ridge of bone in the lower jaw instead of teeth. It has clawed hands and blueish gray skin, and wears a strange tunic decorated with braided hair, bones and teeth.
Monnacs are alien hunters, who come without warning to stalk and kill humanoid prey. They are sadistic sportsmen, seeming to prefer to draw out their hunts and amp up the fear and paranoia in their victims before their strike. They have strange symbiotic creatures attached to their bodies, called “starbats” by sages for their shape, which they fling like shurikens at their targets. A creature struck by a starbat has the awful thing latch onto their flesh, whereupon it begins to pump acid in and blood out. The monnac collects its exsanguinated victims in order to make trophies; it prefers bones, teeth and other hard materials, and often allows the starbat’s acids to finish skeletonizing its prizes.
Where monnacs come from, whether it is another planet or plane of existence, is unclear. Different monnacs are experts at moving through different types of terrain, which suggests that wherever they are from has a wide variety of habitats. Their physical appearances and psychic powers suggest a relationship between monnacs and the grays, but this is unconfirmed. Most monnacs hunt alone (except for their starbats), but they are occasionally found in hunting parties competing for who can get the most or the best trophies.
A monnac stands around 7 feet tall. They can speak, but typically choose not to communicate with their prey.
Monnac CR 7
XP 3,200
NE Medium monstrous humanoid
Init +3; Senses darkvision 120 ft., Perception +18
Defense
AC 21, touch 13, flat-footed 17 (+3 Dex, +5 natural, +3 armor)
hp 85 (9d10+36)
Fort +9, Ref +9, Will +10
Immune acid, fear
Offense
Speed 30 ft.
Melee 2 claws +11 (1d6+2)
Ranged starbat +12 (1d6+2 plus attach)
Psychic Magic CL 7th, concentration +10 (+14 casting defensively)
8 PE—anticipate peril (1 PE), cure moderate wounds (2 PE, DC 15), doom (1 PE, DC 14), invisibility, paranoia (3 PE, DC 16)
Special Attacks sneak attack +2d6
Statistics
Str 15, Dex 17, Con 18, Int 14, Wis 18, Cha 17
Base Atk +9; CMB +11 (+19 with starbat); CMD 24
Feats Combat Casting, Deadly Aim, Great Fortitude, Point Blank Shot, Stealthy
Skills Climb +11, Escape Artist +13, Knowledge (nature) +10, Perception +15, Sense Motive +12, Stealth +16, Survival +15
Languages Aklo, Monnac
SQ favored terrain (mountains +2, plains +4), tunic
Ecology
Environment any land or underground
Organization solitary, pair or party (3-6)
Treasure standard
Special Abilities
Favored Terrain (Ex) A monnac gains the favored terrain ability of a ranger, as if it had ranger levels equal to its Hit Dice.
Starbat (Ex) As a standard action, a monnac can throw a starbat at an enemy. Treat the starbat as a thrown weapon with a range increment of 40 feet. If it hits, a starbat deals 1d6 points of damage, plus the monnac’s Strength modifier, and attaches itself to its target. A target with a starbat attached takes 1d6 points of acid damage and 1d3 Con damage each round at the start of its turn. The starbat can be removed with a DC 24 combat maneuver check, or through damage (hp 5, DR 5/slashing or piercing). A starbat that misses its target cannot move, but can be retrieved by a monnac and used again. A starbat that attaches cannot be used again, even if removed by a CMB check. A monnac can create a number of starbats a day equal to its Hit Dice.
Tunic (Ex) A monnac’s strange tunic grants it a +3 armor bonus to AC without an armor check penalty or max Dexterity bonus.
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