i. toge x fem!reader | aftermath of a confession
for a while it’s just the deafening silence between the two of you and the clanging noises of chopsticks on glass bowls. of course, he knows that it isn’t going to last forever even if he wonders if it will, but your lack of words definitely fails to prove that wrong.
see, the problem is this: toge’s sitting right in front of you— his dream girl, his crush of two years and all that. since the moment you first walked in the classroom and he’d caught sight of you, he’d been hopelessly and utterly smitten. perhaps it was the way you smiled at others, shy as you were; the way you laughed at his antics without fail and tried to lift people up no matter how much you struggled with doing so. it was that kindness; the type that didn’t need gestures and touches, the type that didn’t call for empathy or sympathy. just that plain kindness.
and soon after it came his love for everything else: your hair, your eyes, your skin— the way they shined in the sunlight. he was sure he wasn’t that obvious. yet he supposes that besides maki, panda and yuuta who’d already known him enough to tell, it could have been relatively easy for all the other students of the school (basically, all the first years) to notice his infatuation with you— well, save for you yourself.
he didn’t think it’d amount to anything, though. as much as it hurt to think that. not with the way his technique held him back; you needed someone who could speak to you, look after you that way. he needed you to not feel lonely. he had insistence from maki and panda that you were every bit down bad for him as he was for you, yet he still couldn’t believe them in full. despite all his jests and cheeky shenanigans, he would never consider himself bold enough to be able to confess it all to you. so why do it, when you wouldn’t be able to reciprocate in the first place?
which is why he was shocked when you bowed over, scrunched your face up in embarrassment and handed him a letter in a sealed envelope before lunch on a random tuesday, stammering that you’ve liked him for more than a year, can you please consider going out with me?, and running away before coming back just for lunch.
at least if maki and panda were here, things would be less awkward. but maki is still out training, and panda’s off to do whatever pandas do before lunch on random tuesdays.
“takana…” he starts, eyes on your crestfallen face. the only thing your eyes are on is the food you’re eating.
“…I’m sorry…” you mutter. he barely makes it out from you.
“ikura!” he says. No!
an idea strikes him then.
you cock your head to the side in confusion as he whips out his phone and his thumbs fiddle away across its keyboard.
toge’s confident now. if the two of you like each other, why not start something new? he’d love to take you out. he hands you the phone.
“‘I… like… you… too?’” you read out, squinting at the tiny font.
toge sees your heart stop, breaths caught in your throat, your cheeks warm— scratch that, you’re crying.
wait, why were you crying?!
“takana!”
“I-I’m so glad,” you sniffle,” I always liked you. I didn’t know how to say it. it was painful seeing you every day knowing how I felt, and- and thinking there wouldn’t ever be a chance you’d like me back!” you sob, burying your face in your hands as if it could hide anything, “and then when I gave the letter to you, I was so nervous, I-I should’ve stayed there or given you something you liked, but I panicked!”
nervously, he inches his hand closer to yours. your watery eyes widen. “shake sushi,” he reaffirms. the circles he rubs over the back of your hand make you feel like he’s smoothing over creased paper on your skin. yes, he likes you too, so don’t worry. don’t cry. you may be crying, but if he were a dog, his tail would be wagging so wildly regardless.
both of your hands grab one of his with shaky movements and a slew of hiccups. “I’ll try my best.”
“mentaiko.”
thank goodness.
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Something I think is extremely interesting thematically when it comes to connecting what Downfall and the ideas it tackled to the overarching narrative of campaign three is that the things Downfall made a point to showcase of Aeor—Cassida, Hallis, the visual of an aeormaton proposing to her partner, the specific and intentional decision to shed light on a far from insignificant amount of the population being civilians or refugees—is that it plays in perfect parallel across from what is happening (and, really, has been happening) to the ruidusborn on Exandria in present.
Bear with me for a moment. Aeor is ultimately a city that was collectively punished for the decisions of its leadership. We could (and, judging by the amount of discourse around this particular topic already, probably will) argue about what the Gods’ motivation for all of this was—whether it be that they could not, in the end, bear to kill their siblings or that they were terrified at the prospect of mortality—for me it is a very healthy dose of both—but for this I am much more interested in the latter. They were scared. That, really, is the driving force behind both this arc and their role in c3 as a whole.
Why I point this out is: It is far more interesting to me, especially as we go back to Bells Hells this week, to dissect the Gods and their decisions not purely on sympathetic motivation alone but as beings in the highest seat of power in the highest social class in Exandria.
So, having established that the Gods (in relation to mortals) are more a higher social class than anything we could compare to our real life understanding of divinity and that Aeor was eviscerated largely because of their fear—what is the difference between those innocents in Aeor caught in the trappings of their autocratic government leadership and a divine war on the ground, and those of the ruidusborn being manipulated both by Ludinus and by the very thing that inspired such visceral fear in the Gods to start with. I would argue very little.
I think of Cassida, doing what she genuinely thought was right and good and would save people, her son, and the object of her worship—and how that did not matter enough to any of them to spare her because of the fear they held at the very concept of mortality. I think of Liliana and Imogen, one of which we know begged for the gods to help her or send her a sign for years on years, and how every single one of their largest struggles could have been avoided had the gods loved them, their supposed children, as much as they feared what they could be. I think of how the thing that did save Imogen, in the end, was a woman who herself existed in direct defiance of the gods will. I think of that young boy, sixteen years old, that Laudna exalted on Ruidus.
I think it’s completely fair to judge Aeor’s overall society as deeply corrupt—it was!—but its leadership and police force are not a reflection of every one of its citizens. Similarly, it is fair to judge the Ruby Vanguard as corrupt—it is!—but its multiple heads of leadership and even the god-eater further are not a reflection of every one of its members.
Notably, and what I think the Hells will latch onto, this did not matter to the Gods. It did not matter that Cassida was trying to help. She was still too much of a risk. Will it matter, what Imogen does? Will it matter, if that young boy is in the blast radius when they decide to take no further chances?
I’ve seen a lot of people say that the Hells will side with the gods and I don’t think I agree. Especially as Imogen has been scolded and villainized over and over for daring to try and save her mother—who herself has been seen by some as an irredeemable evil in spite of her drive being the exact same—her family—but when it’s the Gods it’s justified? When it’s the Gods, it’s sympathetic? Too sympathetic to criticize further than “they’re family”?
I obviously do not think the Gods should die or be eaten or what have you, and I certainly don’t agree with Ludinus (though I find him much more compelling than just a variation of hubris wizard), but when talking about the Gods in Aeor and in present it isn’t really at all about their motivation or their family. It can’t be. Too many people, including our active protagonists, lives have been effected for it to be as cut and dry as “they’re family”. These are your children. They are your family, too.
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I've seen an influx of House and Thirteen (bisexual worsties/malpractice dad and prodigal daughter) enjoyers in my activity feed recently (HELLO! my inbox is open anytime to scream about House and Thirteen! :D)! Which is so fucking exciting considering how little it was really talked about on here just about this time last year. Anyways, since more and more people are enjoying our fave father daughter duo, I thought I'd share the link to my fic that I've been working on!
For anyone new or unfamiliar, my fic In the Dirt is a postcanon character study of Thirteen, who has spiraled following House's "death". Meanwhile, several months after Wilson passes away, House searches for Thirteen so he can fulfill his promise to her. Once he finds her, broken and at rock bottom, he vows to stay by her side until her time finally comes. The fic is going to explore the two of them living together and dealing with things like grief, addiction, House's chronic pain, Thirteen's trauma, Wilson's legacy, etc!
If ya like found family, hurt/comfort, that sort of thing, then this might be your jam. Do mind the tags though! (And if the tags on this fic are a little too much, but you're still craving some prodigal daughter content, then you might enjoy my autistic!House-autistic!Thirteen father daughter one shot instead) :)
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klance fic recs pls pls pls
hi sorry for the late response omg
i don't get ask notifications on phone!!
here are some that i read recently and liked!
they're mostly set in modern alternate universes :]
"The Little Things"
"the potential of you and me" / college AU - nsfw
"head over feet" / college AU - nsfw
"if the silence was a song" radio host AU
"You and I Collide" - apartment AU - nsfw
"i just wanna be (with you)" roommate AU
"i'm riding higher than the sky and there is fire in every kiss" roommate AU
"all the little things" - 5+1 things - college AU
"you should date me" college AU
"curing homesickness"
"Lance's Guide to Picking Up Hitchhikers" Road Trip AU
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