#woke up at 6 btw
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i wanna go to sleep so bad but my throat is sore as fuckk and its making me feel like shit
#day summary umm. i felt bad ? also played the sims from morning til like 4 or 5 pm#woke up at 6 btw#dad made dinner. it was good cause of course it was hes a great cook#i wanna be as good as him someday#back to the feeling bad thing. mghh its like#im worried that hes (guy ive pissing and shitting my pants over for the past month or five) like. seeing my posts#cause like. man. ive been saying some really mean stuff about him lately havent i? and like. been making all of this about myself#when like. hes the guy whos moving away. hes the one thats in a super stressful situation rn#with the Everything i am not going to talk about cause he deserves some privacy. i dont have it nearly as bad#i dont have it bad at all !!! what the fuck am i even upset about. some fucking ''abandonment'' i Made Up#im not being abandoned what im going through is like. collateral damage. but like not even.#im just. worried that hes seeing all this. seeing me be like this. and that he doesnt like it#and now he doesnt know how to like. even approach talking to me again. or something like that i dont know !!!#what am i even upset about. he gave me some of the best memories ill ever have and made me feel like im alive#& now its over. oh well. it is what it is. my suffering isnt unique there are thousands of people like me. lets find community in that.#ugh. i only ever feel good nowadays when i imagine it all working out for us#i want to be with him and i want him to want me and i want him near me and i want it all to be easy. love shouldnt be this hard.#wooo yeah okay im done. i love it when the mood swings. the mood loves to swing it is its favourite activity in the world#voidcore.txt
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oh no. oh no i wanna be warm and cozy and snuggled up in my bed all day oh noooo what do i do
#i dont wanna go to woooork#see this is why ive gotten back into my old habit of waking up absurdly early on days i have work early#so i have time to accept how i angry i am about getting up >:(#im subbing at the high school today. i could easily like. wake up at 6#but i set my alarm for 5:15 so by the time 7:20 comes around (school start time) im like well ive been awake for ages#tales from diana#it's not a genius idea but it is an idea#btw. when i went to this high school i was never awake at 5:15#i woke up at 6 and got dressed and went back to bed until 6:50#and then went to school#i was so sleep deprived in those day tho
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Welcome to the family Stipe 🐾
#baby lasagna#I LOVE IT#first time in years i didn't swear like a sailor when the delivery guy woke me up#somehow i never got any joker out or kä merch because i rather saved that money for concerts or OF but as a cat mom of 6 this was a need#(that's katom in the corner btw)
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pspspspspspsps creativity and writing juice 🧃 wya???
#terribly stuck#i haven’t written something in so long#good morning btw i woke up in the middle of the night (dramatic - its 6 am?) to drink water bc dehydrated as fuak !! 🤺
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i think one day ill have to actually make a german mcyt history chart but i keep falling down rabbit holes
#hermitcraft season 1 precedes minecraft hero by about one and a half years btw#not sure what to do with that information but it is interesting. i think i started watching towards the end of hero?#anyway this morning i woke up with fuckin. taddls roadtr7p song stuck in my head FOR SOME REASON#and like the only instance left on the internet of that song is someones reupload on soundcloud#so what i found on youtube instead was taddls hero-krieg rap. ahaha#yknow. this was my hermitgang. i guess#btw 700 main st by dat adam is almost 8 years old. this doesnt really have anything to with minecraft but its. something#also the german mcyt history thing already fails at the fact that ive never seen a single episode of craft attack in my life#so im kinda missing the essentials#anyway i have no idea why im rambling so much here this doesnt really mean anything to anyone#one day im gonna rewatch zombeys minecraft hero. one day. ive been meaning to do that for like 6 years#marly talks
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Ink October day six: Rattletrap
Any machine or vehicle that does not run smoothly.
#data riku#data sora#kingdom hearts coded#data soriku#kingdom hearts re:coded#kingdom hearts#kh#blue boi draws#ink October 2022#ink October 2022 day 6#I woke up and chose violence with this prompt<3#data Sora and Jiminy’s journal my beloveds#I love this scene. most kingdom hearts scene ever.#it includes my favourite line ‘Mickey it’s Riku they put bugs in him.’ which is the most kingdom hearts bc#1. it’s fucking hilarious out of context 2.it’s fucking DEPRESSING in context!!!#also the delivery is… I mean it’s not good if that means anything#the ‘Riku talk to me’ line is better voiced but only because Sora’s voice actor is fucking pog at saying ‘Riku’#in the most heartbroken voice#the bug blocks symbol is so hard to draw btw. like why every other icon thingy is a joy to draw in this series why are you different
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i started strattera yesterday HUZZAH! howewver some of the side effrcts are drowsiness. and insomnia. at the same time. HEEEEEEELLLLLPPPPPPPPPPP
#d.txt#IM SO SLEEPY!!!!!!!! I ONLY GOT THREE SOLID HOURS BEFORE I STARTED WAKING UP EVERY HOUR!!!!!!! i fell asleep at like 11 (i was in bed at 9#btw it took so long to fall asleep) and then woke up at 2. and 3. and 4. and 5. and 6. and a bunch of times in between. strattera moment⁉️
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Sketch from watching the Secco and Cioccolata arc
(It’s barely understandable but lmfao okay, better post it)
#also aha- there’s a small chance i actually get to continue online slightly this week#hope that I can :)#art#jjba#jjba fanart#jjba mista#guido mista#jjba cioccolata#jjba dog thing#jjba secco#golden wind#vento aureo#also it’s 6:11 in the morning and I woke up all sweaty eww#I woke up ten minutes ago btw
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Woke up too early and been trying to get back to sleep but I can't so now time to play isat.
#aria rants#i woke up at 6 am... (i slept at 3am btw... my sleep sched is reverting back... noooo)#running on 3 hours of sleep but i have a timeloop to willingly subject myself to so siffrin can get out
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Last night I watched The Black Parade Is Dead. I was shaking the whole time.
#I don’t usually watch MCR or like band videos because I’m mentally ill#I was texting my friend while I was texting it cause they were watching it too and I go some funny pictures of myself#My friend said I looked distraught when they started playing I’m Not Okay during the second show#I cried during Cancer while watching the first show but I manned up during the second show and didn’t cry#Although I did cry during both Welcome to the Black Parades#I fell asleep at like 1:30 and woke up at 6:30#I’ve watched it b4 btw I’m just mentally ill#Victor Speaks
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WHY DO I KEEP FORGETTING TO START WRITING EARLIER KSFHKSHF
#me who woke up at like 6: oh i hav plany of time :)#me now that it's 10:30: OH MAN I'VE ONLY GOT LIKE AN HOUR#WHOOPS#ok well no it's actually just largely bc i texted my friend to /call me and wake me up/#and she didn't#which is fine#so i've kinda just been putting shit off like 'surely she'll actually at least text me at some point rihgt'#no#no she didn't#and she's probably asleep by now so :)#(i texted her to wake me up when she wanted me to come over btw bc i had briefly woke up from my sleep and saw she had texted smth about it#which idk. maybe it is somewhat my own fault but also she knows i sleep during the day.#and shes been texting me and i haven't been seeing it until i wake up which isn't until like 7-8 on weekends#which is too late to justify driving to her house bc they go to bed at like 9-10 so#yeah. at 3 i texted her to wake me up when she wanted me to come over. and she didn't.#this got WAY off topic i have to go write#hghhhh but idk what to write rn...... i'm not feeling (wit)jitp OR the rbb...............#we'll see#shh ac
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can Dr. House please be real and diagnose me, I’ll let him call me slurs if it means he figures out what’s wrong with me
#🥴#halfd3afbrainvomit#I have bradycardia—heart rate below 60bpm—for who knows why#my resting HR is in the 60’s/70’s not the 50’s#it reached a low of 46 today#that’s fucking scary#but the ER just did an EKG and said to ‘keep an eye on it’ bc I can 1) still breathe 2) haven’t gotten dizzy or fainted#3) have good blood pressure#‘yippie you’re very healthy’ I HAVEN’T DONE CARDIO IN 4 MONTHS#WHY IS MY HEART RATE AS SLOW AS A TICKING CLOCK#IT HAS NEVER BEEN THAT SLOW#IT HAS ALWAYS—**ALWAYS**—BEEN A ONE TWO MARCH#btw I was already in the ER on Thursday for a 103F/39C fever and thankfully it’s a very fixable case of tonsillitis w/ some antibiotics#which ARE working thank god but like… they just did an EKG today + monitored my HR/BP for an hour and then sent me home#they didn’t listen to my heart with a stethoscope or check my blood for a chemical imbalance (electrolytes—which I tried to drink Gatorade!#cause maybe it’s as simple as my blood is a bit screwy and needs fixing! BUT I DON’T KNOW BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T CHECK#they told me my melatonin gummies that I’ve taken for 4 years or more at this point were ‘still in my system’ DESPITE MELATONIN TYPICALLY#WEARING OFF IN 4-5 HOURS WHICH IS TYPICAL FOR ME AND MY HEART RATE WAS LOW *WHEN I WOKE UP* 6 HOURS LATER
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literally like a day later after seeing that autism + anthropomorphism post and it's hitting me that that's a likely reason my childhood was so damn traumatic
#vent#it's uh. it's hard to emotionally process things when your possessions you're extremely attached to are whittled down to a garbage bag or a#few boxes every few years#I remember being 6 and literally being handed a garbage bag and being told that whatever I wanted to take had to fit in there#I don't have like anything from my Childhood Childhood even though I loved that stuff desperately#moving every three years or so. does things to a kid lmfao. especially when they've never been socially accepted#they definitely learn to project onto things like stuffed animals and backpacks and clothes and even garbage#I woke up one day as a kid in a hoarders room and I just looked around like. what the fuck happened. & then I had 2 Get Rid Of Things Again#<- not an exaggeration btw. literal piles of just random shit up the walls as high as I could reach. who tf lets a kid do that lmao#this post got kind of vent-y I guess I'll put in a tag at the top so ppl can blacklist#sorry for impromptu self-therapy on ur dash
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#i can only post so much about fucking this guy and retain my dignity . but dignity is for chumps anyways.#he's sooo cute and his stubble is so scratchy and his hands are so gentle#and i feel weird about how hot i think his inexperience is but holy fuck do i think its hot .#he'd never gotten head before . i got him off like 6 times . over the course of the night he probably got me off twice that .#first time using a strap and hes a fucking champ with it . fucked me so good . fell asleep w his dick in me#woke up throughout the night to fuck me more . best way to wake up btw .#watching him have a gender euphoria moment w a strap was so so good (almost as good as getting strapped)#and watching this sweet reserved boy who does not often consider his own pleasure blissed out and overwhelmed by it ?? fucking chefs kiss#n
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still awake at 6 am spencer and woke up at 6 am spencer are two fundamentally different people and they should fuck nasty
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