#wolfstar incorrect quotes

[chasingthestarss]

Random employee (seeing Sirius’ engagement ring on his finger): Oh! Who’s the lucky lady?

Sirius: What?

Random Employee: The ring on your finger is an engagement ring right? Who popped the question? You or her?

Sirius: I’m wearing ripped skinny jeans, a gay pride shirt, and I have a full face of makeup on right now.

Sirius: And you think I’m with a girl??

Employee: …

(later)

Sirius: I need to look gayer

Remus: What?

[faerycross]

sirius: i hate it when an artist covers a song and changes the pronouns like can't you just be gay for three minutes

remus: just the other day you were changing the pronouns to an hozier song...

sirius: and that's the same thing how?

remus: can't you just be straight for three minutes?

sirius: ew, what the fuck is wrong with you?

[rosemarilee]

Marauders raising Harry:

Lily: I have put a charm on my house and James and regulus’ house so that you won’t be able to swear in front of Harry anymore

Sirius: this is tyranny

Remus: we have rights

James: all we are asking is that you don’t swear in front of our 4 year old

Sirius: I would never-

Regulus: that’s a bold-faced lie

Sirius: how do we know this charm is real

James: try it

Sirius: Fork- god ham it

Remus: here let me try

Remus: #%#*%#*%#

Sirius: HA

Lily: *groans*

Regulus: HOW DO YOU KNOW MORE SWEARS THAN MAGIC ITSELF

[teaformoony]

sirius: hey remus, are you awake?

remus: what

sirius: are you awake?

remus: who the fuck do you think just said ‘what’?

[toujoursincorrect]

Remus: *sees Sirius wearing fancy clothes*

Remus, sad: I see you have a date. Who's the lucky person?

Sirius: …

Sirius: I forgot to ask you, didn't I?

[marlenemckinnonslover]

Remus: You look good in that hoodie. Sirius: You know where else I'd look good? Remus, zero hesitation: My bed. Sirius, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?

[my-beloved-fandoms]

Remus: Fuck the rich

Sirius, breathless: please do

James: What?

Remus: What?

Sirius: What?

Lily, not looking away from her book: I think he said "please do"

Remus: Wait-

[not-rab]

sirius: i’m rich, young and hot, what more could i want?

remus: mental stability.

sirius *breaking down*: good point-

[moonyspride]

sirius: bad news - reggie locked himself outside of his and james’ house.

sirius: good news - we didn't have to wait around for a locksmith.

sirius: bad news - james finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my tragic backstory. i was too embarrassed to admit that the reason i learned it was because, at thirteen, i figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute guys.

sirius: good news- a cute guy saw me do it.

sirius: bad news - it was remus, and since he’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because i saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows i can ride a unicycle, he’ll never think i’m cool no matter what i do. it's too late. he knows.

marlene: you’re a fool.

[moonyscane]

james: so,, moons did you get anything for valentines?

remus: yeah actually

james: what? who from?!

remus: a bunch of shit from some ‘S’ girl

james: wow i got a sweet letter from an ‘R’. wasn’t you was it moony?

(cuts to regulus and sirius struggling to understand muggle wrapping paper so their presents will look nice for their valentines but ending up tangled in tape and shreds of pink paper)

[chasingthestarss]

Sirius: So what’s your type?

Remus: Wears eyeliner and has long hair. Cute, dumb, sometimes funny.

Sirius: Wow sounds like me, too bad I’m always funny.

Remus: Did I mention dumb?

Sirius: Yeah

Remus: Okay, just making sure.

[faerycross]

remus: "i'm giving a chance to short men hoping to find my tom holland", i said. and here i am, married to my lord farquaad.

sirius: i want a divorce.

[incorrectly-mischievous]

Sirius: *laying face down on the floor*

James: so Remus said he liked you?

Sirius: yeah

James: ...and you asked him to marry you?

Sirius: yes.

James: oh shit. Did he freak out?

Sirius: I don’t know. I ran away before I scared him away even more

*meanwhile*

Remus, walking into the library: lily holy shit I’m getting married

[myopicmeerkat]

James: I need advice. Remus: With what? James: With love. How did you know you were in love with Sirius? Remus: ... Remus: I'm in love with Sirius?

[toujoursincorrect]

Remus: You know what‘s funny?

Sirius: That I‘m in love with you and you still haven‘t noticed?

Remus: No, I—

Remus: WAIT, WHAT?!

[marauderstars]

Remus: Ah the humble apostrophe. The difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you’re shit.

Sirius: Also the difference between “well fuck” and “we’ll fuck.”

Remus:

Remus: Yes that too.