#womp womp (i cried)

[bberetd]

you guys really loved her here, so she gets her own dump now 🤗

the bros in guitars are thanks to @silenzahra and her musician bros post!

and for @itsavee4117… cousin Vivi :D (see his original post for her here)

[the-bitter-ocean]

(ACT 5 SPOILERS) Ageswap MDP Moments (RUH ROH)

[goyouku]

dabi: hawks could probably commit a murder

hawks: murders twice

dabi:

[silvergyus]

finally got pics from my friends' wedding and the way I am fighting back tears and look like this ☹️ in all of them

[mrmushroom1031]

While listening to tma season 5 I was fully under the impression there was a happy ending, everything and everyone went back to normal, and Jon and Martin went on with their happy little gay lives.

Why did I think this podcast allowed happiness? The fuckin fandom. You all had me under the impression that everything was fine and happy cus all I saw were posts titled "maybe someday I'll draw something serious about this podcast" and quotes taken out of context

[jupejumble]

my desk got moved to the other side of the living room because of the christmas tree BOOOO 🍅

[golftimex3]

i got an alvin and the chipmunks cd stuck in my cars cd player. i cant anymore

[ratvich]

i wish i didnt have rules for x activity in place 😐 lameeee lame lame

[mmmthornton]

i had a dream like...a weekish ago? and i've been ruminating on it since. 😐

[puripurin]

— "What the fuck." You started at the merman who wriggled around for space. His eyes looked at you in fear as he saw you, before a blush had spread across his face.

Up until 30 seconds ago, you had lived a normal life, well, except for the obscene amount of work you were stressed out with. So you hopped on the boat your parents had gifted you some years ago and sailed into the sea. The feel of the ocean breeze hitting your face was a familiar sensation to you.

This was because your parents were fishermen and loved to eat seafood, and naturally, you had gravitated towards seafood, but with prices these days and your never-ending workload, it didn't allow you to do anything without setting you back on your tight deadlines. Until today.

You had gotten a whole week of paid vacation because a coworker was threatening to bring them to court for a long list of harassment. So they gave the people who worked the most a one week paid vacation. Though, to her, it wasn't enough, so you're getting a paid vacation week while they are still going to get sued. Whatever, its their fault either way.

Anyways, how did you reel in a merman that shouldn't even exist? Frankly, you don't know either. You had accidentally started to daydream, which turned into you not realizing something was caught, so instinctively, you were able to reel in a merman.

"H-huuuumann?" His deep moss green eyes stared at up at you with interest whilst you nearly got blinded by the shimmering gleem of his scales that were scattered across his cheeks. He stopped his advancements towards you until it was difficult to hold up his neck to see you.

"Erm... sorry for catching you, I was daydreaming. I'll unhook the fish hook attached to you..." You apologized and went down to unhook him, only for him to pull down your pants and underwear down, making you fall on the bench below you and stuffing his face in your genitals.

"Hey! W-what are you doing?" You pushed his face away, to which he pouted to. He sat there for a while as you tried to push him off the boat, to no avail.

"I... Accceppt thhis marrriaage!" He excitedly said as he tugged on your pants to gently pull it off again, but you held on tightly to your pants.

"What marriage? I didn't propose to you?" You evaded from his pulling hands in confusion.

"Whennn youuu reeeeledd mmeee inn dummmyy!" He slurred his words once more. "Shtop! I waant too tasstte you firrst beeforrre you tassteeee mee!" He huffed before his nails turned into sharp claws that shreaded your pants, then pulled down your underwear again and happily stuffing his face and licking your crotch with his tongue that felt rough.

Once more, you tried to move away but only ended up moaning at the feeling. Your face was slightly hot as you looked away but was swiftly pulled back in for a kiss, tasting your own fluids.

"Ah... finally... now it's your turn, cutie pie. We have to go to my hometown to get married <3"

"WHAT!?!? Firstly, no! Secondly, i will drown!"

"... Who said you can say no? When you reeled me, it was akin to a marriage proposal. Also, that's why you suck my dick and kiss me <333"

"WHAT--"

Was supposed to be posted yesterday, but when i saved a portion of it, i didn't see that i was save so i went back in to edit it to see what's rong before i saved it and for a slpilt second i saw the rest of it before it saved, so i lost majority of my work.

So now it looks like tjis. Womp womp. I think tjis is an afab reader? But i tried to make it gn as possible but i wannted a weird ass mermaid culture where to speak another's language, you gotta eat them out/suck them off before kissing person to speak. At first i wanted him to just kiss in order to get the language js like starfire but i was like,, so what do i do with him tryna eat you out??,, then boom yeahh.

Also, yo quero voy en me casaaaaaa *cries pathetically* No me gusta Español :((((((( not proofread. L

Edit: i forgot about tags. Mb.

[chaotic-toasters]

Immature

Leah Williamson x Teen!Gunner!R

“Oi! What’re you doin’ up there? Get down!”

You glanced down at your vice captain distastefully. “Why?”

“It’s dangerous!” Leah cried, standing at the base of the tree just outside the Arsenal training facility. “You could fall and break your arm or something!”

“So?”

“Uh—what d’you mean ‘so’?! You’re okay with getting a broken arm?”

You shrugged, gazing at the training pitches from your spot in the tall oak tree. “I can still play with a broken arm, eh?”

Leah’s mouth was agape. “No, you can’t!”

“Yes, I can!” you protested, climbing higher. “Katie scored a hat trick on international duty with a torn bicep! I’ll be fine.”

“Fucking Katie… you’re benched if you climb any higher!” Leah yelled.

You frowned. “Why?”

Leah scowled. “Because! You’re gonna get hurt!”

“Why?”

“Because! Those branches could break!”

“Why?”

“Because you’re heavy!”

“Why?”

“Becau—because! Get down from there!”

You stuck out your tongue, starting your descent. “Fine! You’re no fun.”

“Yes, I am! Just because I care about your well-being doesn’t make me boring!” the defender glared, taking a drink from her water bottle.

“Yeah, right! Steph cares about my well-being, but she’s loads more fun than you!”

Leah spit out her water, chasing after you as you sprinted into the building. “You take that back!”

-

“Who on the Arsenal squad is the best trash-talker?”

You glanced at the camera, then back at the BBC interviewer as you pondered the question. “Other than me? Maybe… maybe Caitlin.”

“Interesting,” he nodded thoughtfully. “And who would you say is the worst trash-talker?”

“Oh, easy. Leah Williamson.”

Kyra laughed as she walked past. “Oi, Lord Farquaad! Your kid just said you’re the worst trash-talker on the team!”

The England captain gasped indignantly, momentarily turning away from her media day activity set up nearby. “I’m great at trash-talking, what are you on about?”

You scoffed. “Oh, please. Your trash-talking skills are as bad as your bike riding skills.”

“OI!”

-

“Kyra,” you whispered, poking the Aussie that looked just as bored as you did at the seemingly unnecessary meeting. “Psst.”

She glanced over to make sure Jonas wasn’t paying attention, then looked over at you, lowering her voice. “Yeah?”

“When we get out of here… the sprinklers are on, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

The two of you went silent as Jonas glanced over, pretending to pay attention. “—have a better squad than them. If we go by the book, they will not be able to score…”

You smirked conspiratorially, voice even lower than before to avoid detection from some of your older teammates. “I’m gonna push Leah into them.”

Kyra grinned. “I’ll tell the admin.”

-

“Admin’s recording,” Kyra whispered to you as she jogged past, going to bug Steph. “Good luck.”

You grinned, waving to the camera discreetly before walking up to Leah. “Hi, cappy.”

She gave you a suspicious look, but kept walking. “What d’you want?”You shrugged as the two of you stepped onto the training pitch. “Just wanted to ask you what I should make for dinner.”

Leah raised her eyebrows, but nodded anyway. “Pasta’s always goo—OOF!”

“SURPRISE ATTACK!” You screeched, tackling her right into the nearest sprinkler’s line of fire.

“Get off me, you cheeky devil!” Leah protested, laughing. “I don’t wanna get wet! It’s cold out here!”

You snickered, wrestling her to the ground. “Womp womp!”

Nearby, Steph was shaking her head in amusement. “I swear, Y/N is like Leah’s Kyr—OI!”

Kyra gleefully shoved Steph into another sprinkler set up a few feet away, cackling like a witch. “SURPRISE ATTACK!”

“HEY!” Steph cried, chasing after her. “You’re such a pest! Get back here!”

You laughed at the two aussies, then gave Leah a rough noogie with one hand and the camera a thumbs up with the other. “Love you, cappy!”

Leah stuck out her tongue, giving you a slight push. “You and Kyra are so bad.”

“Not nearly as bad as your culinary taste.”

“OI!”

[luteofthunder]

*playing FFXIV, doing Immortal Flames dailies*

Me: Allright, I just need some fleece and-

*gets D/C’d*

Me: Uh…

*tries to log back in*

Server: You were improperly logged out. Please wait while we reconnect you. …………. World full. Please wait in the queue to get in. If you’re free-to-play, you can’t queue.

Me: *is free-to-play* Shit.

[gummyfang]

♡♡♡ |   ˗ˏˋ FULL GEAR WORKOUT  ´ˎ˗

➳　【 K ö n i g　ｘ　Ｒｅａｄｅｒ 】

❧ Warnings: 𝟏𝟖+, 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭, 𝐧𝐬𝐟𝐰, 𝐚𝐟𝐚𝐛 / 𝐠𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐩 𝐢𝐧 𝐯, 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤, 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐠𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤

𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: man idk what this is i needed to get my gear kink out of my system lmao. konig fucks u in full gear that’s all. this is a mess. sorry no capital letters in this one my wrist hurts and pressing shift hurts womp womp :(

𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 ♡

“fuck, oooh scheiße, i can’t...” könig’s guttural babbling slowly died down in his throat as he groaned loudly, hips smacking against your pelvis with a noisy squelch. your back arches off the freshly cleaned bedsheets as his cock pistoned into your spongy cunt deliciously, but his gloved hands kept you from twisting away from him. this had all started as a joke. an offhand remark. as you’d dropped by könig’s barracks only to find him suited up in full combat gear, earning a look from you. he just explained it was for training purposes. his body had to stay used to the gear, as he had no time to grow comfortably accustomed to the weight and heat out in the field every time.  clearly, he’d taken your joke about him fucking you raw in it for practice very seriously. your legs wrapped around his hips clumsily as könig continued to pound into you, the fabric of his combat cargo trousers causing your legs to slip down a little. although you were convinced könig was completely lost in the feeling of being enveloped by the feeling of your warmth sucking in his dick further with each thrust, you felt his gaze move down to look at you. his gray eyes were sultry and pooling with lust from beneath his sniper hood, his gaze just barely meeting yours through the holes in the cloth. “you need some help?” he laughed breathily. before you could groan out a response, könig moved his leathery grip from your wrists. you whined as the comforting pressure of his tactical vest left your abdomen. however, your whines quickly turned to loud moans as könig hoists your leg over his shoulder and starts thrusting his cock into you at a heightened angle. ohhh fuck. your head twisted itself back into the pillow, mouth agape as you watched your boyfriend fuck you. the glinster in his eyes told you he was thoroughly enjoying seeing you like this. “i should fuck you like this more often, engel. you look gorgeous.” könig growled. while his muscular right arm locked your leg in place over his shoulder, his other hand started exploring your body, fingers grazing over your clit. könig groaned deeply, his hips stuttering a little as his finger traced your bare skin. his cock twitched inside you, the sight of your naked body at the mercy of his fully clothed one seemed to do something to him he had never realized he loved. he pulled out of your cunt suddenly, a string of slick still attaching you to his erect cock. without any effort, he grabbed your hips and rolled you over onto your stomach, before reentering you from behind. you cried out as he picked up his pace brutally. könig’s eyes flashed with caution as he instinctively leaned over, grabbing a fistful of your hair and pushing your face into the pillow. “careful, now, engel. someone might hear us.” he growled, followed by a soft whimper. he wasn’t going to last much longer. your eyes rolled back into your skull as you felt the hard, icy metal of the canisters and tubes of his vest press into your back. it was painful, but it hurt so good. something about that sensation sent you over the edge. “könig!” you cried his name into the pillow as your body spasmed, your puffy walls tightening around his cock deliciously as you came. könig groaned loudly as his body lurched forward at the sensation, feeling his gear press you into the bed even further. his hips stuttered as he moaned into your ear deliciously, before his cock spurted hot ropes of cum deep inside you. slowly, könig fucked himself out into you, before his hips finally came to a halt. you felt the draping fabric of his sniper hood brush against the back of your neck, damp with his sweat and breath. you felt his hand gently pat your hip twice before he pulled out, chuckling softly. “i think i just found my new favorite workout routine.”

[seobsroot]

IT’S ALWAYS BEEN US

summary: jake has known you since you two popped out of the womb, he’s loved you ever since

contains: childhood besties to lovers (maybe my fav trope idk)

warnings: jake hating all your bfs, hopelessly in love jake, oblivious jake and reader, x fem reader, mentions of y/n’s douchebag date

jake sim has been your best friend since the beginning of time it seems. he’s been attached to your hip and you don’t really mind. “this movie is so boring.” he blurted as he ran his hands down your legs that were on top of his lap. “womp womp. i asked you what movie you wanted to watch and what did you say?” you awaited an answer and he rolled his eyes. “you pick” “exactly so don’t complain.”

you turned your head back to the movie and he whined. your phone went off and you looked to see who it was. jake could tell who it was by the reaction you had. you started gettting all giggly, he hated it. he didn’t know why exactly. you started typing really fast and he kept looking at you from his peripheral. he wishes he could make you smile like that. he shook his head quickly, you’re his best friend since you two were babies. why was he acting like this?

you got up from the couch and went to your room. “what happened?” he got up from his slumped position to a more upright one at your absence. “m/n is coming to get me in like 30 minutes and i have to get ready.” you headed back to your room and jake sat on your couch and nodded even though you couldn’t see anymore. what does he have that jake doesn’t?

he huffed and got up and went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. you’ve had many boyfriends over the past few years and jake has liked a few, like 2 or 3 out of the 6 you’ve introduced to him. he’s had about 2 girlfriends, but they never clicked for him. you can’t lie and say you never liked jake, but you thought he never had interest so you never made a move. he went back to the couch and laid across it.

“how do i look?” you came out in a black body con dress, a leather jacket over top, white heels, and your hair in a messy bun. you had only mascara on, but honestly that was all you needed. he took all of it in and breathed out. you smelled like vanilla with a hint of citrus. “you look amazing.” he said and you smiled. “thank you jakey. you can stay here if you want, i’ll be back in like 2 hours.” you said and waved to him bye.

he knew this wasn’t your boyfriend yet, but he hated this. he wanted you so bad, but he knew he couldn’t have you. it killed him on the inside. he slumped on your couch and accidentally fell asleep. he woke up to the sound of the door opening and he rubbed the sleep off and looked up at you. your mascara was running and you looked so sad. a look of worry washed over his face and he brought you into a hug.

“what happened?” he asked as his rubbed your back. “we went on the date and he started flirting with other girls in front of me! then i started getting mad at him and he got angry with me because i got mad at him! can you believe it jakey? oh i’m so pissed.” you cried more angry tears and he rocked you back and forth. “how did you get home? did he drive you?” you shook your head, “uber.” he huffed,

“why didn’t you call me to come get you? what if something happened?” he kept rocking you both and you shrugged. “didn’t want to worry you.” he pushed you off him. “this is any better? coming back to you crying with mascara down your face?” he grabbed your hand and took you to your bathroom.

he put you on the bathroom counter and grabbed your cotton pads and micellar water. he started wiping off the ruined mascara and applied your skin care. you looked into his eyes as he did this and you started smiling. “y/n.” he said and you hummed. “it’s always been you.” he blurted and you raised an eyebrow. “i’ve barely dated because it’s always been you. you’re the girl for me. they just don’t get me like you do, but i was scared to make a move because you were always getting new boyfriends and i could barely stay with one and it was-“ you kissed him to stop his rambling.

“jake. it’s always been us. no matter what our relationship looks like. whether it’s as lovers or as friends. it’s always been us, this lifetime or the next. i’ve always liked you, but i didn’t think you were into me. i didn’t want to cause a rift within our friendship because i cherish it so much. you’re my person forever.” he started crying and you wiped his tears and kissed him again.

“forever us pretty girl.”

i deserve him chat

[starzify]

♡ DRUNK - tara carpenter

PAIRING tara carpenter x fem!reader

WARNINGS smut, drunk sex, reader receiving cunnilingus/fingering, dom!tara, sub!reader.

MASTERLIST

↓ MDNI ↓

You and Tara despised each other and you had no idea why. Ever since your friend group introduced you to her, she looked at you as if you shot her family.

“I don’t wanna see her, she’s so scary.” You whined about Tara, fixing up your makeup in the car as you were on your way to a frat party that Mindy begged you to go to. “Womp womp, you’re gonna have to see her everyday anyway.” Mindy shrugged, not caring for your complaints. You sighed in annoyance. “Cheer up, sad girl. You’re at your first frat party!” She yelled, lightening up the mood. You laughed, shaking your head.

You entered the party, music blasting in your ears and your nose scrunching at the scent of alcohol and sweat. “I’ll be right back.” Mindy whispered to you and you nodded. You looked around, trying to see if you could another one of your friends until spotted Tara at the counter, taking shots of tequila. You stood next to her, filling up a shot glass with tequila. Tara looked you up and down, plastering a smirk on her face. “I’ve never thought of you as the tequila type of girl.” She said. “Not like you would know.” You bit back. The smug look on her face immediately turned into a scowl. “Okay. Since you’re such a smartass, let’s see who can down the most tequila shots. You in?” She challenged. “Bet.” You accept.

Next thing you know, you two are drunk out your minds and giggling like maniacs. Tara gulps, looking at you with hooded eyes. “Wanna make out?” She slurred. “Huh?” You yelled, not being able to hear her voice over the loud music. “I said do you wanna make out?” She yelled louder. “Okay.” You slurred, giggling like crazy until she shut you up with a kiss. Her soft lips hooked with yours as you ran your fingertips through her wavy hair, moving down to her soft skin. She pulled away, running upstairs with you and locking yourselves in a random room before pushing you on the bed as she got on top of you.

Her lips attached to your neck, sucking and biting which left bruises on your neck, eliciting a moan from you. Tara took off your top, revealing your perky breasts. She stared at them in awe before wrapping her lips around your nipple while rolling the other one between her fingers. She got lower, gently placing her hands on your belt as she looked at you with hungry eyes. “Can i?” She asks. “Please.” That’s all it took for her to unbuckle your belt and pull down your denim skirt and panties.

She licked a long stripe up your slit, making you gasp. Little lickings turned into sucks. “Tara…” You moaned, your hands grabbing onto the roots of her hair. She looked up at you with her big brown eyes and giggled which sent vibrations straight to your pussy. Tara replaced her tongue with her fingers. “Fuck!” You cried out, the pleasure being too much for you. “You like when I fuck you with my fingers, hm?” She teased, making you almost impossibly wet and you nodded. She thrusted her fingers in and out, fast and hard and your brain went mush.

“I- I’m gonna…” She was fucking you so dumb that you couldn’t even properly form a sentence. “You’re gonna cum on my fingers?” Tara asked with a smile. “Uh huh.” You nodded. “Cum for me, love.” She demanded and you let go, your eyes rolling back as you mumbled incoherent words. As you came down from your high, your eyes met Tara’s, sinister smile on face. She leaned down to you, her lips just a few inches away from your ear. “We’re not done yet.” She whispered.

[lady-of-blossoms]

「 ✦ Whispers of heartbreak 4! ✦ 」

Chapter 4

Ch 1 ch 2 ch 3

Thats enough, thats the fucking end, you walk out the room door and into the living room, there stands gojo, comforting Rebecca.

"EVEN ON THE WORST DAYS, DID I DESSERVE IT?, ALL THE HELL YOU GAVE ME" you cried out to gojo, your cheeks glistening with tears

"Y/N, please the baby is crying, and so is Rebecca" he said calmly, as he hugged Rebecca

"I REALLY WNAT TO KILL YOU, WIPE YOU OFF OF MY EARTH! CAN YOU CHEAT FROM 6 FEET UNDERGROUND? CAN YOU GOJO?" You screamed, your Voice hoarse and raw.

"Shut up, you usless little shit" Rebecca spat at you.

"Oh shut the fuck up Rebecca, we both know that baby isnt gojo, all good girls go to hell, dont say i didnt warn ya"

Rebecca fake cries into gojo’s shoulder, and the baby cries too.

"Im not your friend, you think toure the man, we Are not the same." You said as you flipped both of them

"Y/N, dont you dare" he said taking a step forward with a daring look.

"Get my pretty name out your Nasty mouth, you wanna know something gojo, that day When you and that bitch Rebecca told me to babysit, yeah, i went to the Club and slept with Toji, i think its fair that, you Get to sleep with Rebecca and i Get to sleep with Toji, you for Rebecca knocked up with youre baby, now he got me knocked up, guess what motherfucker, YEAH, i AM preganant, out of all odds, I AM PREGNANT, AND ITS NOT YOURS" you laugh maniaclly, and point at gojo’s reacting, that making you laugh Even more, and Even louder.

"…y/n….what..?" He said nerviously and takes 3 steps back, breathing heavily

"Fuck you, fuck you very very much, ‘cause i hate what you do and i hate youre whole crew so, please dont stay in touch, fuck you, fuck you very very much, ‘cause your Words dont Translate and its getting quite late so, please go fuck yourself gojo!" You say as you skip out of the living room smiling and skipping to your room.

Your turn around "OH!, AND BY THE WAY GOJO, REBECCA’s BABY DADDY IS HER EX!, IT ISNT YOURS, TAKE A DNA TEST, I AINT LYING, WOMPITY WOMP WOMP MOTHERFUCKER" you laugh and close your door.

Taglist:

Ps: sorry about the shortness again, college😇😔

Songs this chapter was based on!