#wonderstruck

[youreinlcve]

✧¸.·✧ ˚ speak now (taylor’s version) out on july 7th.

[ecoharbor]

📍Lofoten, Norway 🇳🇴

[honeymoonavenue]

taylor swift challenge day 5: favourite outfit - the wonderstruck dress

taylor swift chose a slightly customized version of a look from christian siriano’s spring 2012 collection for both the print and video ads for her Wonderstruck fragrance campaign.

[messedupfan]

Chapter 16

Summary: After finding out about your possible attendance at Tommy and Billy's big day, Vision decides to pay you a visit.

A/n: Hello! This one is short haha Also did any of y'all get to see the eclipse? Crazy!! Enjoy!

Masterlist | All Stories Taglist | All Chapters

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You and Pietro are staring at the blueprints for the building that the company has been working on. There was a measurement off on an area which has made the work halt until someone can figure out what went wrong. The two of you are trying to decipher where the issue is and what the best solution would be when Vision storms onto the job site. 

“Vision, you're not allowed to be here. You're an unauthorized civilian in a construction zone,” Pietro says as he steps around the table to prevent his former brother-in-law from moving further into the unpredictable space. 

“I'm here to speak with Y/n. I'm not leaving until I do,” he states and you aren't sure what he could possibly want with you. 

“We are trying to work,” Pietro glares at Vision. “Actual life threatening work, not standing pretty in a room full of hungover college students.” 

Vision looks at Pietro for a moment then looks back at you. “Do you have a minute?” 

Pietro is about to say something when you decide to cut in. “Just this once, Vision,” you grab a spare hard hat and plop it on his head. “Regulations, I’m sure you’ve taught your students about them.” You pat him on the back before guiding him out of the construction zone. He takes the hard hat off and roughly returns it to you as he fixes his hair. “What is so important, Vision? I’m needed inside.”

“I want you to stay away from the tournament,” he states. 

You lick your lips in thought and look past him to the job site. The concrete mixing machine is spinning and you fantasize for a moment about pushing Vision into a space and burying him in the concrete. You shake the thought away and look back at Vision. “Why would I do that? Tommy and Billy invited me.” 

“That doesn’t matter, I’m uninviting you. They are my boys and if anyone is going to be there to support them, it’s going to be me!” Vision says as he tries to intimidate you. His reasoning for keeping you away confuses you. Why does he really not want you there?

“Vision, no one is saying you can’t be there. Why are you making this a ‘it’s me or you’ thing? This isn’t about either of us, it’s about your sons. I have been helping them practice and they want to show me that our hard work has paid off. Why is that such a bad thing?” You ask, instead of agreeing to stay away. You knew that he was going to make this into a thing, but you don’t understand why it has to be. It’s not like you are dating Wanda or trying to replace him as his kids parent. You don’t understand why he has such a problem with you. 

“I know that you have been helping them. You know how I know? Because they don’t stop talking about it. I have friends and colleagues that have children in their class. What kind of father will people think I am if Tommy and Billy give you all of the credit? I don’t want them to run to you when they win. They will be running to me because you won’t be there. Understood? You are to stay away,” he says bitterly and now you understand what’s happening. He doesn’t want his image of being an involved father to be affected. It upsets you that he could easily earn that credit and praise by spending time with his kids. But he relies on everyone else doing the heavy lifting and keeping their mouths shut. You find it ridiculous. “The tournament is happening on my weekend. So I have to be there. They aren’t your kids, you can make up some excuse and not show up. Or else,” he threatens. 

“Do you have something to support your ‘or else’ or were you hoping that was enough for me to agree to cancel?” You ask, bored of this conversation. 

“Just, leave my kids alone. Okay?” Vision walks away and you sigh. You knew when you accepted the twins invitation two weeks ago, you were going to upset Vision. You didn’t realize that you were making him feel insecure as a parent. You return to work to try and push the encounter out of your mind. 

The issue turned out to be a simple adjustment. Everyone cheered because it could have been much worse. It could have taken weeks to fix. There could have been a fatal accident. It could have cost materials that would have taken weeks to replace. It could have been missed until inspection and that would have had the building demolished. The list of scenarios could go on and on. You and Pietro are more than happy about the results of an easy fix. 

You forget all about Vision's visit until during your lunch break when Pietro asks what the man wanted. “For me to stay away from Tommy and Billy’s tournament,” you shrugged. It was something you were expecting but you didn't think he would cause a scene at your place of work. 

Pietro nods and takes a bite of his food as he looks at the other crew members around the two of you. “Did he say why he doesn't want you there?” 

“Kind of? The gist of it was he's an absent father and he doesn't want the rest of the world to know that,” you shake your head and laugh a little as you think back on the conversation. “I tried to threaten me but there's nothing he can do. I'm still going.” 

Pietro makes a face, “Threaten you? How so?” 

“Well, he just said,” you clear your throat as you get ready to imitate the British man. “Stay away or else!” You roll your eyes. “It's ridiculous, he didn't have anything to say when I asked him what he would do. Because he can't do anything to me.”

“Maybe not to you, but he could do something to my sister. Or worse, he could pull the boys out of that class or make sure they don't show up to the event. I don't know.” Pietro pushes his food around his plate. “All I'm saying is that he can't do anything to you but he can do something to them. So maybe, don't go.” 

You frown as you consider Pietro's advice. He was right. Vision might not be able to touch you but he can hurt Wanda and her kids. 

Later that night, when you're picking up Rachel from Wanda's house, you feel terrible as you think of the ways Vision can hurt them and the only thing that you can do is comply and hurt them in a different way. “What's on your mind? You've been more quiet than usual,” Wanda asks as she hands you a clean plate to dry. 

“I um,” you aren't sure if you should tell her about the encounter earlier. But I'd you're considering canceling on her boys, you can't lie to her. “Vision came to see me today. He doesn't want me there to support the boys next Saturday.” 

“What?” Wanda stops scrubbing the pan she was cleaning. “Are fucking kidding me?” She scoffs as she shakes her head. She figured that Vision would come to her when he found out about you attending the event. She can't believe he dislikes you so much. She truly doesn't understand it. “What did you tell him?” 

“What I told him and what I’m considering are conflicting,” you truthfully tell her. “I don’t want Vision to do something to the boys or even become a bigger headache for you.” 

Wanda nods, she knew that whatever Vision threw at her, she could handle it. However, she agreed that the boys shouldn’t get affected by their father's tantrums. She takes a deep breath. “What are we going to tell them?” 

You are a little touched when she includes herself in this conflict. That this isn't something you have to deal with on your own. “I haven’t figured that part out yet. I wasn't sure if I should fight him or not.” 

“I know how much the boys would love to have you there but,” she sighs as she hands you the last dish. “Vision can't hurt either of us and he knows that. I don't want to believe that he would do something to hurt his kids but, let's face it. His priorities aren't exactly where they should be.” You dry the plate and set it aside as you nod. “So, we're just going to have to tell them that something came up and that you won't be able to attend. But we'll wait until the end of the week to tell them. Make it seem more urgent.” 

You nod with a deep frown. It hurts that you had to cancel on the boys. They've been so excited during the practices that you've done with them since that first night. You don't want to disappoint them but it's better that it's you and not Vision. 

On the day that you do have to break the news, Tommy called you a stupid head and said that he didn't want you there in the first place before he stormed up to his room. Billy just cried. Rachel asks you a million questions on the way home. It makes you feel terrible. Nothing could have prepared you for the heartache you felt when you said that you couldn't be there for them. 

In the middle of the week, Vision had a basket sent to your apartment with a thank you note. You tossed it in the trash. You couldn't believe that you let him win. All you could do was hope that they'd forgive you or at least forget about the let down. 

You tried to forget about it the rest of the week. On Friday, your friends want to go out so you join them. You don't drink as much as you have in the past when hanging out with them but you, Bucky, Steve, and Darcy end up staying out until close to three in the morning. The four of you had a lot of fun. The night started out at a simple bar with a few drinks then it led to one of those modern arcades with a bar. At a certain point, you noticed that  Steve and Bucky had gone missing. Darcy claimed that it happens every time she hangs out with them so you didn't question the disappearance. And when they reappeared, you were having too much fun to realize that they had switched shirts. 

Everyone ended up crashing at your place instead of going to their homes. You chose to sleep in Rachel's room to give Darcy your bed while Steve and Bucky crashed in the living room. You plugged your phone in and slipped into a dreamless sleep. 

In the next afternoon Darcy is shoving you awake. “Answer your damn phone! Some of us weren't made to sleep through natural disaster!” She grouchs as she continues to shake you. 

Groggy and discombobulated you squinted through your eyes as the bright sun shone through the blinds. You stretch and yawn as your phone starts ringing again. It's louder than you remember it ever being. You quickly answer the call before checking who it is. “Hello?” 

“Y/n, thank goodness!” Wanda says urgently. You spring up in bed, alarmed by her tone.

“What happened? What's wrong? Are you okay? Is it the boys?” You say as you get out of bed. 

“Woah, sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I mean, it's an emergency but it's not a life threatening one,” she says, a little calmer this time. 

Your body relaxes instantly. “Sorry, I'm just waking up. I had um quite a night. Anyway… What's the emergency?” Darcy shouts that you're being too loud so you step out onto the balcony. 

“Hold on, are you with someone?” Wanda asks instead.

“No, that's just Darcy,” you say. “She spent the night because we were out late. Bucky and Steve are here as well. But ignore all of that, why are you calling?” You check the time and frown. “Shouldn't you be cheering the boys on soon?” 

“Vision dropped the boys off and disappeared,” she says. “I can't get a hold of him. Every time I call it goes straight to voicemail. I asked Tommy and Billy what he said when he dropped them off but their answer wasn't helpful. They're devastated,” she continues and it seems like she's going to say more but instead she says. “Sorry, I don't know why I called I-” 

“I'm on my way. I'll be there as soon as I can,” you interrupt before she says that she shouldn't have called you. It makes you happy that she called you for this. “I've got to get ready, I'll see you in a bit. Bye,” you hang up the phone before she can protest. 

You quickly inform Darcy that you have to leave and why. She stops you from grabbing your keys. “Not so fast boo boo the fool. You smell like sweat and booze. Shower first, I'll put together some clean clothes and then you can go play superhero.” You don't think you have time but you do have an odor and you don't look very presentable. In fact, you'd hope that they'd refuse entry to someone in your state. 

You quickly rinse off the previous night and throw on the clothes that Darcy laid out for you. Steve and Bucky are sitting at the kitchen table and Darcy is making them coffee as you pass them. “Darcy, you have my spare right? Please lock up before you leave.” 

“What? Why does Darcy have a spare and I don't?” Steve asks, offended. “We've been friends longer.” 

Darcy taps his head, “Hush, they’re on a mission.” She looks up at you with an innocent smile as Steve scratches his head. “Don't worry, I'll be sure to lock up. Now go, go!” 

You thank her before racing out of the building. When you arrive, you find Wanda consoling her boys with their Sensei. Someone steps out of the gym and when the door opens you can hear that the event has already started. You jog over to Wanda. “Hey, I'm sorry I'm late. Traffic was just,” you don't get to finish your excuse because Billy crashes against you and greets you with a tight hug. You wrap your arms around him. “Hey buddy, it's alright,” you say gently as you carefully pry him off of you. “What are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be in there kicking butt?” You ask as you level with him. 

Billy wipes his tears, “I couldn't because I was sad.” 

You frown, “Sad? Why were you sad?” You move some of his hair out of his face and pull a bandana out of your pocket to help wipe his tears out of his prescription goggles. 

“Because my daddy didn't want to be here and neither did you,” he admits and your heart drops to the pit of your stomach. 

You shake your head. “That’s not,” you sigh and look behind him to Wanda standing beside Tommy, he is giving you his best death glare that reminds you a lot of Vision. “I’m sorry that I made you think that, Billy. I thought that there was something more important but I was wrong. Nothing is more important than seeing you and your brother compete today.”

“Really?” Billy squeaks as his eyes start to brighten up a bit. You can see so much of Wanda in him. You grin as you nod. 

“Billy, sometimes we are given two choices and I don't always pick the right one. But you are smarter than me. So I'm going to give you,” you point to his chest as you speak, “two choices. Number one, you can quit now and we can all go home. We might watch a movie but there will be nothing to show for it. Or number two, you can show everyone in that room what your Sensei has taught you and what we have worked on together. You and your brother could win trophies and get new belts and then we can go out to celebrate. Which one do you think you should pick?” You try to make one option seem a little more appealing than the other to try and get him inside. 

Billy looks at you then to his mom, then to his instructor, and lastly, he looks to his brother. “Do you want to?” Tommy had his arms crossed over his chest with an angry frown and a deep scowl. You could tell that between the two, he was the one that refused to perform. His way of having control over the situation. Something that he was learning from his father. If you don't give him what he wants, he tries to take something away. In this case, he's not getting his father's approval so he's making it so that they don't participate. It hurts Vision’s image, which isn't something that Tommy knows much about. He can't stop playing his father's words over and over in his head, don't embarrass me. 

Tommy steps forward, “If we go in there, are you going to stay?” 

“I'm going to stay,” you promise. His features soften and he grabs his brother's hand and takes him over to their Sensei. The three walk through the double doors and run to their corner. Wanda walks over and gives you a tight hug, much like Billy had. 

“Thank you so much,” she says into your chest. 

“Wanda, as much as I love being in your arms, you're holding me back from keeping my promise,” you say as you give her a quick squeeze in return. 

“Just a second longer,” she says before she finally releases you. “You are incredible,” she says as she leads you inside. A volunteer stops you from walking further. 

“Do you have a ticket?” She asks with a bright smile. You quickly pull your wallet out of your pocket. 

“No, I don't actually,” you say but Wanda stops you. 

“Nonsense, after what you did for my kids, I've got you covered,” Wanda hands the woman her debit card despite your protests.

“Okay, you two are good to go,” she says then she pulls out a clipboard with a sheet of names and contact information. “I'm also supposed to ask if you would like to sign this petition to get more funding for programs like these. Is that something that you would be interested in?” The woman is a little more flirtatious in her approach and you are thrown off. You size her up as she is clearly eyeing you and you smile at her politely. She bites her lip as she leans a little forward to expose a bit of cleavage. 

“Sure, I love to support a good cause,” you say as you take the clipboard and pen to write down your name and phone number. She asks you a couple of more questions before you and Wanda are able to walk away. 

“That girl wants a date with you,” Wanda mutters once the two of you are sitting in the stands. “I’m assuming one without any clothes.” You shake your head with a laugh.

“Please, it was just a tactic to get my signature,” you say as you lean in close so she can hear you. 

“Oh. So I should judge you because it worked on you?” Wanda asks in a playful tone but there is a layer of truth. 

“No, I just thought the cause was worth supporting. What you should be concerned about right now is that Billy is up next,” you say as you point to the floor where Billy is stepping onto the mat. Wanda reaches for your hand and holds it in a tight grip. You don’t pull away, more than happy to give her some sort of comfort. You felt just as nervous watching Billy out there. You record as much of the match as possible. Something for Wanda to send to Vision or people in her family that couldn’t be there. 

In the middle of the tournament, your stomach starts to growl and ache painfully. You excuse yourself to buy some snacks at the concession stand. Because neither of her boys are on the mat, Wanda watches you from her seat. On your way back to the stands, the woman stops you for what looks like a quick chat. She cleanches her jaw when the woman touches your arm as she laughs at something you said. She tries to ignore the pang of jealousy she feels as you continue to talk to the woman. You come back to her side when Tommy stands up to enter the mat. When you return, Wanda pulls you close to her and her eyes search for the red haired woman. As soon as she makes eye contact with her, Wanda wraps her arm around your waist and steals some of your popcorn. You laugh because you notice her odd behavior but you don’t question it. Not as much as Wanda is. 

When the event is over, Tommy and Billy run to you to show off their awards. You give them high fives and tell them how proud you are. Wanda gives them hugs as she tells them the same. Then they take your hand and race you over to their friends. She puts their prizes in her tote bag as she gets ready to leave. Tommy and Billy have other plans. They have you show each of them how to do the moves you managed to teach them in the past few weeks. Wanda stands back and watches with a wide smile. She snaps a few pictures as she watches but she doesn’t want to view the moment from her phone screen.

“Excuse me,” the volunteer from earlier says quietly to Wanda. “Hi, my name is Nebula and I just wanted to apologize for flirting with your partner earlier. I consider myself to be a girls girl and I didn’t realize that you two were together,” she rambles and Wanda holds her hands up to stop the girl. 

“Slow down, we’re just friends,” Wanda corrects her. The words feel wrong coming out of her mouth but she couldn’t stop them. It was like an automatic response every time someone implied that you and her are a couple. 

“Oh,” Nebula fails to stop the smile from growing on her face. “Is Y/n seeing someone?” She turns to watch you playing with the kids. 

“No. No, they are single,” Wanda knew this girl was being friendlier to you than just getting another signature for a petition. She didn’t want to be the one giving Nebula this information. But no matter what she was feeling, she wasn’t going to sabotage you. 

Nebula nods as she continues to watch you. “Do you think they will be creeped out if I use their information from the petition to contact them?”

Wanda watches the girl for a moment and thinks about telling her to back off. That if anyone should be asking you out, it should be her. But was Wanda ready for a relationship beyond physical pleasures? She doesn’t know. And because she doesn’t know, she wasn’t going to gatekeep you. Just in case she isn’t ready for a long time. “I think maybe that’s exactly how you should do that. I’ll get to win a bet if you do,” Wanda says jokingly. 

Nebula nods and nudges Wanda with her shoulder, “I’ve got you. Make it a good bet.” She winks, “Thank you. I hope to see you around soon.” 

“I’ll give the toast at the wedding,” Wanda jokes again and Nebula walks away laughing. 

“Oh, would you look at that, I think she had her eyes on you this whole time,” you say as you walk up to Wanda with both boys wrapped around and hanging onto each of your legs. Wanda shakes her head. 

“You’d like that wouldn’t you?” She steps closer to you and puts her hand on your shoulder. “Let’s get these two some ice cream,” she says loudly and the boys let go of your legs to jump up and down as they cheer. She messes with their hair and tells them to go wait by her car. They start to shove each other on their way out of the building as they race each other. 

“Still no word from Vision?” You ask as you scrape the sides of your cup to get every last bit of chocolate ice cream out of the cup. Wanda checks her phone and continues to shake her head to see the lack of responses from Vision. She eats her ice cream and gets some of it on her nose. You wipe it off with your thumb and smile. “Mmm, maybe I should have gotten that flavor instead,” you say as you lick the ice cream off of your thumb. She smiles back at you.

Tommy and Billy are running around the playground while you and Wanda sit on a bench and watch them play. “I don't know if I should take them home with me or drop them off at Vision’s house. I don't know how Vision will react because I'm not even sure why he didn't show up.” 

Your smile drops and you look away from her as you shake your head. “I can't believe after the tantrum he threw that he wasn't there for them. He sent me a thank you basket. Which, I don't want to know how he got my address to begin with-” 

“He is unbelievable and I am going to be tied to that man for the rest of my life,” she shakes her head again. 

“They're pretty great reasons to be tied to him though,” you compliment the boys, making Wanda smile as she watches them chase each other around. 

“They are,” she says and then she looks at you. “Will you join us for dinner? I'm thinking that we should go somewhere nice.” 

You look at her and when your eyes meet, you want to kiss her. The only thing keeping you from doing that is the fact that her kids could witness it and ask questions that you're not prepared to answer. “Um, yeah, I’d love to. As long as we split the bill.” 

Wanda considers insisting on paying for everything but that's not what will catch your interest. It's not a collection of times she has done something for you and you have done things for her. Leaving an imbalance of power between the two of you always. No, you are someone that seeks equal partnership. “Fine by me,” she says. 

Your phone goes off and Wanda's heart jumps in her throat from the anticipation. She hoped that the Nebula girl hadn't decided to reach out so soon. “It's a grocery list from Darcy,” you say as another message comes through. “And she and the guys have finally vacated the premise,” you laugh as you respond to the messages. She didn't realize she was holding in her breath until you spoke. Wanda relaxes as she continues eating her ice cream. 

“They’ve been at your apartment this entire time?” Wanda asks with a light laugh of her own. 

“Apparently, and now I'm all out of food,” you shake your head.

During dinner, Wanda has to excuse herself to take a call from Vision. You distract the boys by being silly to make them laugh, then you ask each of them to tell you about their week since you haven't seen them since last Friday. They go on and on about assignments that they enjoyed or hated. Like how Tommy is bummed about a book report but that Billy is ecstatic about it. He’s already read every book on the list, which he conveniently avoided telling the teacher. In gym class, there is a push up challenge that Billy isn’t thrilled about at all but Tommy is more than ready for. They talk about some playground drama where you find out that your daughter has been married and divorced three times throughout the week. You laugh when you find out that she's currently married to a girl named Kate in their class. 

You fondly remember your days in primary school when you were officiating weddings for Jean. She married half the class by the end of the school year. But she never married you back then. She told you that one day she would and then she kissed you on your tear stained cheeks. 

When Wanda returns she looks frustrated and you feel for her in her situation. “That was your dad,” she starts as she sits down. “He will be by the house tomorrow with your school bags but you're staying with me tonight.” She can't look at her boys as she stabs her food with her fork. She was still very worked up over the conversation. Billy puts his hand on her arm and she nearly breaks. 

“Wanda, do you want to know a trick I use to make water taste really good?” You ask her as you hold your glass up. She looks at you with a fragile expression before she takes your cue. She grabs her cup and you show her the trick you've learned over the years of how to drink something in order to avoid crying. It seems to work and she compliments that the water does taste better. The boys don't believe it so they try it and their brains trick them into believing the technique did anything to change the flavor. 

“Thank you,” Wanda mouths when she has calmed down. You shrug in response as the meal continues on. 

After dinner, you follow Wanda to her house with Tommy in your car and Billy in hers. He wanted to make sure that you came to their house to play video games and because you wanted to earn their trust, you agreed to drive with Tommy in the car. Wanda thought it was sweet that you cared this much about her boys. 

The four of you play three different multiplayer games together. Some rounds were kids versus adults and others you and Wanda would team up with one of the twins. The games went on until nine at night and that's when the kids wanted to watch a movie. You and Wanda sat at opposite ends of the couch with both boys sitting in the middle. When they both went quiet Wanda recruited you to help her take them to their beds. 

Once the two were settled in their beds you helped Wanda with cleaning up the mess in the living room by taking care of the cups while she reset the gaming setup. Putting controllers to charge and setting game cases on the game shelf in the cabinet. When all is said and done Wanda walks you to your car. 

“Thank you for today,” she says as she stands close to you with her hands in her back pockets. “You'll have to let me know if that girl messages you. I have a lot riding on that bet,” she jokes but her eyes look at both of yours and then land on your mouth. You've heard about this tactic, it's a signal to let you know she wants to kiss you. Suddenly you feel a little nervous. Any kiss the two of you shared could be dismissed with being under the influence or having heightened emotions. But right now, there wouldn't be any excuse. There would just be. 

It was a terrifying thought. 

“I’m sure you'd be devastated to lose the chance to choose my next haircut,” you retort as you lean in closer to her. Even when you're talking about a potential relationship with another woman, the only person on your mind is Wanda. The two of you gravitate towards each other until your lips meet. The kiss is short but meaningful. She smiles at you when the both of you break away before she bites her lower lip. You smile back at her as she steps away from you. “I'll see you later?” You ask as you open the door to your truck. 

Wanda nods, “Yeah, I'll um, I'll see you later.” 

“Okay,” you say softly. “Goodnight, Wanda. Sweet dreams.” 

“Sweet dreams, Y/n” she repeats and waves goodbye as you climb into your truck. She watches you drive away from the front door. She decides then that she doesn't need to be exploring her sexuality anymore. None of the people she sleeps with make her feel nearly as alive as that simple kiss did. As she lies in her bed, she goes through all of her dating apps and deletes every single one of them. She doesn't need them anymore.

Chapter 17

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[weaponized-kindness]

If Oz Media and illuminaughtii's genders were flipped, there would have been no hesitation to call this what it is: abuse.

She is 8 years older, and that relationship had a massive power imbalance. This is parter abuse. Adding that to Wonder's and her other ex story, we can see a pattern. Her being a woman abusing men allowed her to get away with so much.

[doyouknowthisdisabledcharacter]

Do You Know This Disabled Character?

Rose Mayhew is Deaf.

[oz-me]

I have to do this. More posts to come about this, but this is a quick post from my twitter about everything that happened with Sad Milk.: This context is entirely from twitter, with the expectation Blair will see it.

I think it’s time that I actually speak out on the current twitter threads regarding Sad Milk. I cannot express how scared I am to do this, the fear I have in my gut to even speak out. However, I do feel it’s important to say my peace on this subject matter.

Yeah, it’s a mess, but the tweet threads posted by wonder and Click, and what they have stated about Sad Milk is the truth. I will be adding those threads below.

The whole project was a mess. From start to finish. I really wish I didn’t need to do this, but with the flurry of Dm’s I’ve been getting, I don’t have a choice but to speak out.

Blair, I’m sorry, but you have hurt me. I need to speak without being told by you “Oh I’m just the villain? I’m always in the wrong?” or something along those lines. Words I have heard from you consistently. I want to be heard for once. I need to clear my mind and conscious after holding this in for 2 years. Forgive me, but it's what needs to be done. When looking at the whole of the project, it was mostly controlled and run by Blair. 

Her main worry was that because of her, in her words, "Lack of Personality" she felt as though her contribution to sadmilk needed to be the managerial bureaucracy behind the scenes to justify her presence. This led to a defensive approach when anyone would attempt to assist with the nitty gritty behind the scenes. (Despite her claiming that no one wanted to help her. One of the factors she claims to be the final nail in the coffin of Sad Milk). Blair was indeed the aggressor. She always has been. As an example of this behavior, look at the legal eagle situation. Blair has the habit of starting fights, but will almost never publicly apologize if proven wrong.

She will instead hide behind a private apology probably, and from my perspective, act as though this makes everything better. Afterall, she would express to me that admitting error would only make her look stupid and weak.

This will be followed by her blocking people on twitter, silencing her detractors through youtube channel bans, deleting comments, and putting her accounts on the downlow to prevent interaction. For example, on Sad Milk, she would blacklist former collaborators from being mentioned, but manually approve hateful comments towards them, which in my opinion, were specifically ones which instead praised her or the remaining members. Including me. This is her MO. It has been for the 4 years that I’ve known her. It actually perfectly ties into how we first met and began to be on speaking terms in April of 2019. Sadmilk was very much like this. At the first sign of dissonance, her response was to have me confront OT and Click with this list of talking points in an attempt to show them just how wrong they were. Which I accepted. This brings me to, well. Me. What is missing from both Click and Wonders threads, is that fact that I acted as Blairs front runner. Anything Blair needed to say went through me first. Essentially act as a spokesman. This was actually a common factor in our relationship. 

I would always act as a filter to keep her out of drama or from saying things which would be seen as offensive or kindle for a larger fire. I stopped doing this in January. This does not excuse me from protecting her for this long, but it is the truth. I could take the approach and say I was manipulated. Which, perhaps I was, but I still knew what I was doing was wrong. I always did, and it always hurt. It left a huge blackmark on my spirit and my ability to feel comfortable in my own skin. I had moved to Colorado, got a house, and lived with her at the time. She was in my life every day and I would hear these theories and villainous explanations directed at anyone who “wronged” her. It was hard to avoid, let alone not fall for them. I believed it was my responsibility to protect my friend from something that, in my view, was clearly hurting her, something that I felt was eating at her and making her daily life worse. Things which in hindsight, could have been solved with a conversation she was unwilling to have. Instead the conspiring, backstabbing, and rumor machine were put into full swing. I, much as wonder and Salty, were forced by Blair to choose between her or Click and OT. Of course I chose the person I lived with. What was I going to do? Move again? I mean I could have.. Once I chose my side, I was met with praise and adoration from her and her modstaff. It, at the time, felt like I was making the right decision. Fuck man. Boy was I wrong. I’ve lost so many friends, isolated myself, been at her side despite feeling like my connections to the world were being severed. I always acted as her talking piece, from yelling at One Topic, to berating click, and other things I did in service of someone who at the time, I believed every word of. I trusted Blair to hell and back and thought I was doing good. I have learned since then, through both self reflection and conversations with old friends, just how much I was (unintentionally, hopefully) used. 

There, of course, is more. Much more. More than I could ever hope to cram into this stupid fucking twitter thread that I know I’m going to get angry DMs and phone calls over. 

Blair. I need you to know that YOU hurt me. More than you realize. I know you’re scanning this and having your team read over it. Maybe even looking at sending me a legal threat as you parade around to do so. But I want you to apologize for once in your life and take accountability. Please. Blair, you would rather paint the world red than admit you have fault. 

[spacesquidlings]

Kiss Me Once (I've Had A Long Night)

Description: The hour is late, and Marius is exhausted, not that fatigue has ever stopped him from working late into the night before. But there are ways he can be coaxed into resting early, so long as his beloved is involved.

Pairing: Marius von Hagen x OC (Rowan)

Warnings: None (although there is some SLIGHT suggestive content but this is Marius we're talking about lads)

Notes: Hello hello!!! This is my very first attempt at a Marius fic!!! He's just so silly and cute I think it was inevitable. I hope this makes you smile as much as I did when I wrote it!!!

**********************************

A soft groan, nearly mistakable for a sigh, had the usual sighs that fell from his lips not been loud and dramatic, meant to draw attention rather than convey any true emotion.

Rowan looked up from the screen of her laptop, propped precariously on her lap as she’d worked on her own projects while Marius was busy. He’d only just returned to his office, his crisp suit jacket tossed haphazardly to the side as he cradled his head in one palm, a rare moment of vulnerability he would never let anyone else see.

She closed her computer, setting it to the side before making her way across the office, the sound of her footsteps muffled by the soft rug that had been thrown across the floor. Marius looked up as she approached, the bags under his eyes more prominent than they had been that morning.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, perching on the edge of his desk, gently brushing his hair back from his brow.

He offered a wan smile, trying to summon up the last of the energy and charisma she had seen before they’d parted ways in front of Pax. He’d feigned confidence at the time, shrugging off her concerns about some of the long meetings he was scheduled for that day.

And it was clear that she had been right to be worried, as she peered down into Marius’ exhausted face, lines forming between his brows as they pressed together, the corners of his lips turning down in the slightest of frowns.

Rowan’s heart ached, and she reached out to gather him in her arms, cradling his head against her chest before he could even give words to whatever was weighing him down.

He snorted, although his arms still wrapped themselves around her waist, holding himself closer, breathing in the smell of her shirt and the new perfume he had given her.

“Did you miss me that much?” He asked, his voice muffled, his face still smushed against her chest.

She gently shoved him away, frowning down at the little smirk that had curved across his lips. His hands slid to her waist, and she resisted sighing as he stroked his thumb in small circles against her side.

He chuckled. “You couldn’t even handle sitting a few feet away from me?”

Now she smacked him, although that did little to quell the mischievous light that danced in his amethyst eyes. Not that it lasted for very long, fatigue smothering the impish mask he had tried to draw across his face.

“Marius,” she said, his name on her lips much softer than she had intended. She’d been hoping to go for a more admonishing tone, but it came off as more of a quiet plea.

He sighed again, more dramatically than he had the first time, very clearly playing it up, never one to leave out the dramatics when he could. He laid his head on her lap, the light in his eyes dying as he huffed.

“I’m alright,” he said, although he did not make eye contact, instead still staring at the papers scattered over his desk that he had been pouring over for hours already.

She ran her fingers through his hair, mussing the dark locks as he closed his eyes, not even bothering to make a quip about ruining his hair. Or perhaps what the ruining of his hair would imply, as they had been alone for so many hours.

Rowan narrowed her eyes further, not sure she liked this sudden quiet. It was very unlike him, even when half asleep he would sometimes murmur soft words, barely heard in that liminal space between waking and sleeping. Or he would whimper if she moved, shifting closer again and burying his face against her shoulder.

Unnerved with the silence, Rowan pinched Marius’ cheek, tugging until his eyes flew open, the light catching in his eyes so they shone like gems.

“You’re clearly not alright,” she groused, releasing his cheek and leaning down to brush a kiss to the splotch of red she had left on his skin. “You’ve barely made a single joke.”

He groaned, closing his eyes once again. “I’ll have you know I can make meaningful conversation without joking around.”

“You’re not even making conversation,” she pointed out, laughing softly. “Marius, you’re worrying me.”

Another groan, as though it physically pained him as he drew himself up from her lap, his eyes slowly opening again to find her own.

“I don’t mean to worry you,” he said, words so soft they were little more than breath. He dug the heels of his hands against his eyes before dropping them onto the desk, glaring down at the papers he disturbed and sent scattering along the wooden surface. “It’s been a long day.”

She cupped his cheeks, drawing his gaze back to hers as she tipped his head up. “Was it the meetings? You were in the last one for two hours longer than usual.”

He pursed his lips, covering her hands with his. “I’m the president and still it feels like they hardly listen to me. It’s just getting a little tiring lately.”

“You’re doing the best you can,” she said, stroking her thumb across his cheek. “That’s all you can do, my love.”

“Feels like I could be doing more.”

She snorted, leaning forward to press a kiss to his brow. “Well not much is going to get done this late at night. Why don’t we go home?”

He whimpered when she started pulling away, his hands tightening on her wrists. Stifling a smile, Rowan dotted another few kisses across his face. “If we go home I promise there’s more where that came from.”

Marius hummed, squeezing her wrists where his hands encircled them. “It sounds like you just want an excuse to kiss me.”

Rowan would have scoffed and pulled away had she not been now trapped in a precarious position, Marius holding fast to her arms, moving close enough that there was no escape route.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. She could scoot herself backwards on his desk and then kick him away, but she knew that would look utterly absurd and she didn’t want to knock over any of the books or papers or pens that littered his desk.

“If that’s not what you want, you can just say so,” she huffed, pulling away from him so at least his face wasn’t a mere breath away from her own.

His lips pulled into a pout almost instantly, and he whined as he stood, thumbs stroking against her arms. “I didn’t say that. I was only joking, please don’t be mad.”

It was incredibly difficult to ever be mad when he was looking at her like that, his eyes wide and pleading, his bottom lip trembling like he might burst into tears at any moment. He clasped his hands around hers, tugging them towards his chest. “Please, miss.”

She bit down on the inside of her cheek, although that was not enough to stop her smile. He was too cute, and he surely knew it. She’d never been able to say no to his face as it was, and she certainly couldn’t when he looked as he did now.

“I’m not mad,” she said at last, wishing she could stop grinning even as relief shone in his eyes, nearly hiding the smug delight sparking in their depths.

“But,” she continued, wrestling one arm free to tap his cheek. “If you want anything more then we have to go home.”

A sigh, this one full of the dramatics she was accustomed to. His head tipping to the side, his shoulders slumping forward, his forehead crinkling as his brows drew together.

“You win,” he said at last, although a smile touched his lips, as though he were anything but annoyed to finally be leaving the office.

Unfortunately, Rowan didn’t notice as Marius quickly gathered up the paperwork he had been going through and tucked it into his bag before offering her his arm. The building would be all but deserted by now, and there would be no one to spy on them or make comments about their president being a little too cozy in public with his girlfriend.

He dozed beside her on the car ride home, his head falling on her shoulder, his lashes tickling her throat as he struggled to keep his eyes open. She struggled to stifle her laughter, not wanting to disturb him. He was so tired, and she wasn’t sure she had even realized how tired he had been all day. He needed this small nap, even if it was only to give him the energy to get ready for bed.

He grew whiny as the car drew to a stop, clinging to Rowan as they climbed from their seats and made their way to their room. She had to very nearly pry his arms from her waist so she could shower, instructing him to get ready for bed.

Unfortunately, it was only once Rowan emerged from the shower, rivulets of water snaking down her cheeks and down the back of her neck from her still-damp hair, that she realized he had snuck his paperwork home.

Marius looked up from whatever he had been reading, shock registering in his face a moment too slow before Rowan was beside him, arms crossed as she glowered down at the papers in his hands. She felt equal parts furious and heartbroken, having wanted to take care of him for just a few hours, to alleviate at least a little of his stress. And here he was, working after he’d said he was done.

“Marius. Von. Hagen,” she ground out, internally deciding that she would not be changing into the new, wispy nightgown that had mysteriously shown up in her drawer a few days prior.

He had the gall to give her a cheeky smile, arching his brow as his gaze swept over her bathrobe. His eyes shifted to her chest, where the fabric flopped forward, and Rowan furiously tightened the ties, ensuring there was nothing for him to see.

“I thought you were going to rest,” she said, her voice coming out too close to a whine. She wanted to sound annoyed, angry even. Why couldn’t he care about his health and his rest for just one day?

His smug expression fell, his shoulders slumping. “I just want to get this done, I’ll earn more respect if I can complete this.”

She perched beside him, at a loss for words as his lips pressed into a thin line. Instead she just took his hand, gently pressing her thumbs into his palm.

“What are you doing?” He asked, some of that stress falling away as he watched her, bemused.

“Massaging your hand,” she groused, feeling like she ought to glower at him, but not being able to. She just wanted to hold him close, wanted to take all his worries away. “So they don’t cramp.”

He was silent for a moment, only the sound of paper shuffling filling the air as he ducked his head.

“Are you mad at me?” He asked at last, peeking up at her from beneath the fringe of his bangs.

“No, of course not,” she said, letting one hand fall and reaching for his other. “I just… I just wish you would rest a little more, and take time for yourself. Your best isn’t working yourself into the ground, or losing sleep.”

He dropped his gaze, setting the papers to the side as he squirmed in place. “I’m sorry, Rowan. I don’t mean to worry you.”

“It’s not something you need to apologize for,” she said, lowering his hand back into his lap. She turned her thoughts over in her mind again and again, trying to find the right words to convey how she felt, the strange helplessness over watching him grow more and more stressed.

“I think I would just like to help, and I don’t really know how.”

“This helps,” he said, voice soft as freshly fallen snow. “You being here helps.”

Rowan hummed, taking Marius’ head and cradling him against her shoulder. “Would something like a massage help you at all? At least to feel a little less stressed?”

“I’m sure it would, but-”

“You know…” She continued, trailing off as she curled a lock of his hair around her finger. “I might have learned how to give a massage.”

Marius pulled away, quirking a brow as a smirk slid across his lips. “You did?”

Rowan huffed, regretting having told him anything. Although she should have anticipated this kind of response, and it wasn’t like she had learned it just because. She’d paid for a day class, so she could help ease any of the aches in his body, help wash away some of the stress and tension he carried with him day-to-day.

She felt heat crawl across her cheeks as Marius continued to regard her carefully, his smile spreading. He looked partly curious, but mostly there was a self-satisfied pleasure in his eyes, a joy that only came from finding something worth teasing her about.

Now he was the one cupping her face, the mood entirely shifting as his eyes held fast to hers. His hand shifted down the column of her throat, his thumb gently pressing against the spot where her pulse was thrumming wildly now, with Marius so very close to her.

“Did you take a class, just for me?” He asked, his voice lilting with his obvious delight. “Were you so worried about me?”

She puffed out her cheeks, trying to pull away. Her face was burning now, and she could feel the flush of her skin beginning to creep down her neck, over her shoulders and down her chest. Her entire body was surely the colour of a burning sunset now, and she knew if she stayed so close to him any longer she would turn firetruck red and Marius would tease her for it until she could barely speak.

“Ah, don’t go,” he whined, pouting as she managed to drag herself from his grasp. “I’m sorry, Rowan. I really am.”

“I don’t believe you,” she said, crossing her arms as she put space between the two of them. “And if you don’t want a massage you can just say so. It’s not like it would be very good anyways.”

His bottom lip quivered, and he pressed his palms against his thighs. “I didn’t say that. Please come back.”

There was really no point in resisting him, not when her heart was already aching from the small distance between them. She wanted to be close again, even if it meant risking catching fire from the heat he always ignited with his words.

So Rowan returned to his side, directing him to turn around so she could properly attempt to massage his back.

“Shouldn’t I take my shirt off?” He asked, voice dipping low as he peeked at her over his shoulder, smirking once more. “Would you like that?”

She clicked her tongue, trying to ignore the warmth blooming in her cheeks once more. She really could not catch a break with this man, could she?

“Taking your shirt off would be better, yes,” she said, trying to keep her tone prim. As if he hadn’t already sketched his gaze across her face, noting the colour staining her cheeks, creeping up towards her hair and over the shell of her ears.

He kept his gaze locked on hers as he shrugged out of his jacket, tossing it to the side before slowly unbuttoning his shirt.

Rowan’s fingers itched to help him along, to slide her fingers down his chest as she undid the buttons for him. But Marius seemed to know exactly what she was thinking, smiling wider as he quickly slipped his shirt off and let it fall next to his jacket, denying her any chance of helping.

She bit her tongue to temper her annoyance. What a brat.

“How’s that?” He asked, turning around so all she could see were the planes of his back, the flex of his muscles as he tried to straighten his posture.

She tasted blood in her mouth now, and she had to stop biting her tongue lest she bite through it entirely. Was he teasing her? Was he teasing her with the knowledge that his chest was bared, but she could not see it?

Shaking her head, Rowan tried to dispel the desire that crept at the edges of her mind. It was late, she really did just want Marius to feel relaxed enough to sleep.

“It’s perfect,” she said, trying to keep her tone light.

His shoulders shook as he laughed quietly, the muscles in his back again flexing. It was all Rowan could do not to follow the curve of his spine lowers, to not think about how broad his shoulders were, how slender his waist.

Instead, she settled her hands on his shoulders, trying to remember the lone class she had taken. She’d been so nervous she’d sat in the back, not wanting to draw any attention to herself.

She ran her hands along his shoulders then back towards his neck, gently pressing her thumbs against the skin of his back, massaging gently at the nape of his neck before she slid her hands up then down again. She repeated the motion a few times, certain she was catching on knots of tension in his shoulders.

A soft sigh slipped past his lips, his head hanging forward. Rowan smiled to herself, sliding her hands down his back, pressing the heels of her hands down on either side of his spine until she reached his hips. She hesitated for a moment before moving her hands to either side of his waist and sliding them back up to his shoulder blades.

She paused for a moment, a slight ache in her arms. Marius was a good deal taller than she was, and it was quickly becoming awkward reaching for his shoulders in their current position.

He turned to look at her over his shoulder, genuine curiosity and what might have been a touch of disappointment staining his tone. “Why’d you stop?”

Rowan worried her bottom lip, wondering if it was worth mentioning.

“Rowan? What’s wrong?”

She couldn’t stay silent when he was looking at her so mournfully, not when there was such pleading in his eyes.

“It just feels a little awkward how we’re sitting right now,” she admitted, pressing her hands to her chest so she did not wring them as his brows slowly lifted. “I was thinking it might be easier if you lie down on the bed.”

The ghost of a smile curled at the corners of his lips, the amethyst of his eyes turning to the wine-dark of the sea. His tone was sultry, and it lingered in the air as he breathed a quiet “oh?”

Feeling as though a fire had been lit in her bones, Rowan smacked him gently, scooting backwards. “Not like that. My arms just ache a little from having to lift them up to reach your shoulders.”

His grin widened, but then he stood, seeming to oblige. “Alright. Let me change out of my clothes.” His gaze swept over her, colour staining his cheeks. “You should, too. It can’t be comfortable in that robe.”

She blinked, having nearly forgotten she was still wearing her bathrobe. Rowan stood quickly, nearly skidding into the dresser in her haste to grab her pajamas. But Marius stayed her hand as she grabbed for the soft sleep shirt and matching pants with little purple stars stitched down the sleeves and legs.

“Not those,” he said, his gaze directed towards the folded nightgown beside them. “Why not that one? It looks new.”

“I don’t know what you think is happening here,” Rowan said, slowly drawing her hand from his grip. “But I am still a little annoyed with you.”

He pouted. “Come on, miss. I had it made just for you.”

She sighed, her head falling back as she dropped the pajamas. “Fine, you win.”

He beamed, taking her hand once more and brushing his lips to her knuckles. “Thank you, love. I love to see you in such pretty things.”

She cradled her hand to her chest once he’d released it, unable to meet his gaze now as he continued to grin. “I just didn’t want to argue with you when I want you to rest right now.”

He chuckled, reaching out to pinch her cheek playfully. “Alright. I’ll be right back, try not to miss me.”

She scowled as he slipped into the bathroom, quickly changing from her robe into the flimsy, violet nightgown. She ran her hands down the sides, feeling the soft embroidered flowers and vines that twined together, creeping up towards the nearly scandalous neckline. The sheer sleeves billowed over her arms, cinching at her wrists, and they do had a curling pattern of petals and blooming flowers and vines. Peering at herself in the mirror, Rowan felt as though she were wearing a garden bathed in the strange light of the pre-dawn, when the moon was sinking and the indigo of night was softening into violets and lavenders, not yet stained by the gold of the sun.

“It’s beautiful, right?”

Rowan spun around at the sound of Marius’ voice, not having heard him as he finished up in the bathroom. He padded towards her, looking more awake than he had before, his eyes shining with barely veiled desire.

“You look beautiful,” he continued, hands falling to her hips, trailing down lower, towards the hem that barely reached past her upper thighs. His lips brushed against her ear, goosebumps trailing down her arms and legs as his breath tickled her face. “So beautiful.”

Her stomach twisted, heat flaring in her core, and she had to press both hands to his chest and gently shove him away. It was late, he was certainly tired.

“You promised-”

“I didn’t promise anything,” he said, mischief in his smile as he took her hands from his chest, brushing his lips against them again and again.

Rowan’s legs were beginning to feel weak, and she was struggling to think straight. Hadn’t this started innocently enough? She’d only wanted to help him relax, and now he was teasing her, trying to get her to give in to his mischief.

Steeling herself, Rowan managed to wrestle one hand free, pinching his cheek. “Marius! Von! Hagen!”

He had the gall to continue grinning, covering her hand with his as though she were touching him tenderly. “Yes, my love?”

“No funny business!”

“There’s nothing funny about what I want to do-”

She pinched his cheek harder, and he swatted her hand away, laughing. “Alright, alright. You win, this time.”

She scowled, pointing to the bed. “Lie down.”

He lifted his hands, palms up as though in surrender. “Yes ma’am.”

“You’re really trying my patience right now.”

“If you’d like-”

She pointed at the bed again. “Lie! Down!”

Marius was still laughing as he did as he was told, lying face down on the bed, gathering the pillows up in his arms as he tilted his head to the side, watching as she approached.

“What am I going to do with you?” She grumbled, kneeling next to him, trying to remember where she had left off.

“Love me, I hope,” he suggested. “Kiss me?”

She sighed, covering her face. “Marius, do you want me to do this or not?”

Another huff of laughter, followed by a sigh as he readjusted, getting more comfortable. “Alright, my love. I’m at your mercy.”

She rolled her eyes, even as a small smile tugged at her lips.

The angle now was certainly a bit better, and Rowan felt more comfortable moving from his back to his shoulders. She circled her palms over his shoulder blades before dipping her hands lower once more, the heels of her hands meeting a few inches above the waist of her sleep pants. She slid her hands back up his spine then, thumbs pressing against his spine until she reached the base of his neck and she smoothed her palms across his shoulders.

“Does that feel okay?�� She asked, gently leaning forward and putting more weight into her hands.

Marius hummed, and she took that as a yes, and repeated the motions a few more times, pausing periodically to check in to see if he was still feeling alright.

She hoped this work, she really sincerely did hope this would help him feel at least a little better. And maybe he would wake in the morning and feel some of his stress and anxieties gone, and he wouldn’t feel so panicked to finish some of the work he’d been going through.

“Marius,” she said, running her hands over his shoulders. “Can you please move your arms, I can try massaging those too if you want.”

There was no response, only the gentle sigh of his breath.

“Marius?” She asked again, pausing her movements. “Are you okay?”

Still there was no response. Rowan shifted, leaning over so she could get a look at his face, hoping to grab his attention if he had spaced out.

Instead she was met with Marius’ sleeping face, his eyes closed, lashes fanning out against the curve of his cheeks, even breaths falling from his slightly parted lips.

“Oh Marius,” she breathed, brushing his bangs back from his face. All that teasing and he’d fallen asleep in mere minutes.

Her heart ached, and fatigue weighed heavy on her body. The soft blankets and Marius’ warmth were like a siren song, coaxing her towards sleep and oblivion. He looked so sweet, so warm and comfortable. How could she not want to curl up beside him and sleep?

“Goodnight, my love,” she murmured, brushing the whisper of a kiss against his cheek. “I hope you sleep well, and you feel better in the morning.”

She fiddled with the blankets, struggling to drag them out from underneath him so she could drape them over his sleeping form. And then she tucked herself beneath the blankets too, wrapping her arms around his waist and nestling as close as she could, smiling as she felt herself drifting off, happy she was able to ease at least a little of the stress he was forever carrying around. Even if he’d teased her for it. And she would happily do it again, would happily do anything if it meant making his day a little better.

“I love you,” she whispered, wiggling closer. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

[patheticbatman]

Part One

I’m very proud of these dolls, and I’m also leaving them at my parents’ house, so I did a little photoshoot with some books as background so I can have nice pictures of them.

Each book is one that is based on their fairy tale, they exist in some form in that universe, or I genuinely think that character would read it. It cannot be their origin book.

Also, they ALL have to be books I have read. If the other books are more like companion books though, then I disregard that rule. They cannot share series either.

First up is Snow White with Fairest, by Gail Carson Levine. Funnily enough, I read this book before Ella Enchanted. I love it though! I always remember the singing and weird-reading-to-make-the-audience-laugh game :).

Second is Cinderella with Cinderella is Dead, by Kaylynn Bayron, and a little toy dog, because the Disney version has a dog. It’s a wonderfully revolutionary and queer take on a world that supposedly worships Cinderella, but actually uses her memory as an oppressive tool. Like an unwilling martyr.

Third is Alice with After Alice by Gregory Maguire (the dude who wrote Wicked). I have other Alice in Wonderland adaptions, but I haven’t enjoyed the others like this one. If you like ratfics, you may enjoy After Alice.

Fourth is Wendy with Peter and the Sword of Mercy, by Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson. I debated on whether to do the first book of this series or not, but Wendy only appears in this book, so I leaned toward this one instead. Out of all my Peter Pan adaption books, I like my one about Hook as a boy in Eton best. But only Wendy’s dad appears in that, and I don’t think she would read it, so I went with this series instead. I wrote a book report about the story set in the desert Kingdom when I was like 9, I loved it a lot.

Fifth is Aurora with While Beauty Sleeps, by Elizabeth Blackwell. It’s an inventive take that I enjoyed quite a bit. Explores how expectations can be used in your favor, etc.

Sixth is Eilonwy, with The Princess, The Crone and the Dung-Cart Knight, by Gerald Morris. I know The Black Cauldron is based on a book series, but I’ve only read a snippet, and I don’t have a copy of any of the stories anyway. So she gets to have a late - Arthurian novel.

Seventh is Ariel (she has six sisters so this pleases me) with The Hothouse Princesses by S. A. Hemstock. The author wrote some of the best Steven Universe fanfic, so I bought her first published story when it came out. Idk how it isn’t a bigger hit - it’s about a princess who was raised by peasants, gets discovered, wants to go back, and instead gets shunted off to a misogynistic, colonialistic, colorist princess finishing school, where she finds out some serious conspiracy shit about fairy godmothers. Anyway, Ariel often felt oppressed by her dad and curious about the Human world, so I imagine it would catch her eye.

Eighth is Belle with Lindworm, by Jenny Prater. Coincidentally, this is another case of me reading a superb fanfic writer’s work (Batfam this time) and instantly snapping up their OG work. I have a book of short stories that had a more direct BATB parallel story, but I was trying to stick with Novels. In any case, this is the story of the maiden who married the Lindworm, and what the Royal family does once they have to reckon with the nations of the dead princesses.

Ninth is Jasmine with the School for Good and Evil, by Soman Chainini. Her character really only appears in the prequel, but I wanted to acknowledge this really great series properly. I read the entire thing this summer, and I love its thematic approaches. In any case, I feel like this series’ approach to beauty, freedom and other dichotomies would pique her interest.

Tenth, we have Gabriella (Ariel’s mermaid BFF) and her Sign Language interpreter Olly. I have her human form. Anyway, I decided she might enjoy Wonderstruck, by Brian Selznick. It has Deaf characters and lots to show about the Human World, which I supposed she might enjoy. I found it quite interesting as a kid, and like with all the other Selznick books I own, I used to color all the hair, clothes and eyes in, lol. Listen. I had a lot of time on my hand and consistent access to Sharpies XD.

I’ll link the other parts to here when I post them!

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

[swiftmerch]

Speak Now era Wonderstruck fragrance collection

[deaf-and-hoh-character-showdown]

Characters in the Deaf/HoH Showdown So Far

General Amaya- The Dragon Prince

Rose Mayhew- Wonderstruck

Ben- Wonderstruck

Cece Bell- El Deafo

Clint Barton- Hawkeye TV Show (Thanks for the submission)

Clint Barton- Marvel Comics

Maya Lopez- Hawkeye TV Show

Frank Rossi- CODA

Jackie Rossi- CODA

Leo Rossi- CODA

Regan Abbott- A Quiet Place

Adam Parrish- The Raven Cycle

Nova Huang- Mooncakes

Makkari- Eternals

Hearthstone- Magnus Chase

Connie- The Walking Dead

Theo Dimas- Only Murders in the Building

Sarah Norman- Children of a Lesser God

Dezi- The Sunbearer Trials

Ollie- This Is Kind of an Epic Love Story

Jia Andrews- Godzilla vs. Kong

Eileen Leahy- Supernatural

Carl- Up

Pied Piper- DC Comics

Calico- Hazeshift (Thanks for the submission)

Katniss Everdeen- The Hunger Games (We totally forgot about her even though we’ve read the books. Thanks.)

Joel Miller- The Last of Us (Thanks for the submission)

Notes:

1.) We are still looking to have more characters submitted and will update this page accordingly.

2.) If you want to submit propaganda about any of these characters feel free to.

3.) If you have any issues about any characters feel free to shoot us an ask.

4.) This showdown will probably get started sometime in the second week of June, see the pinned post of our blog for more information.

5.) We tried our best with some of the names but are also not familiar with some of the characters on this list so if there’s any issues with that please let us know.

[ecoharbor]

📍Iceland 🇮🇸

[izzykitty27]

wonderstruck dress concept

[messedupfan]

Chapter 17

Summary: Wanda looks over her plans for her future after standing up to Vision. You discover something shocking about your friend on a night out. And the kids join you for a special haircut as Wanda collects her prize.

A/n: Hello! I didn't plan on posting this so soon but eh what the hell. Hope y'all don't kill me. Enjoy!

Masterlist | All Stories Taglist | All Chapters

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Wanda stands in the middle of the large empty property that she now owns. She walks around the area as she visualizes a house. She sees the walls and the windows. She thinks about where the kitchen would be and the kitchen table for breakfasts and intimate family meals. Then she walks into a dining room where she’ll host holidays and birthdays. She pretends to climb a beautiful staircase as she envisions the separate rooms for her boys. A couple more rooms, maybe one of them is a guest room and the other is an office space. Then she sees a master bedroom. The image of climbing into bed after a long day has her heart racing as she pictures collapsing into your arms. 

Her phone ringing breaks her away from her fantasy world and back to the land with overgrown grass. She pulls her phone out of her pocket and sighs. “Hello Vision,” she says with a roll of her eyes. “What can I help you with?”

“Mom?” Tommy's voice has Wanda softening her tone almost instantly. 

“Tommy, hi, why are you calling me with your dad's phone? Is everything okay?” She asks as she starts to fill with worry. 

“Dad says he has to go out of town for something… for work! I mean um… I mean he has to go out of town for work. Can you come pick us up?” Wanda sighs when she can hear Vision correcting their son. She doesn't understand the man. He is constantly making a big racket about being in Tommy and Billy’s life but this is the third time in the last couple of months that he has had her pick up the boys halfway through the week. 

“I'll be there soon,” Wanda says in a soft tone. She does her best to not let her frustrations with his father affect her tone. Vision is being harsh enough as it is. “I love you, sweetheart. Let your brother know that I love him too, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Tommy says. “Bye, mom.”

Wanda hangs up the phone. She takes one last glance around the empty land and sighs. One day, she will be able to fulfill her dream. But that is years away. 

“Vision, you can't keep doing this to them,” she says quietly once the boys are in her car. 

“It's my work, Wanda. It's what pays the bills,” he says with a roll of his eyes. 

“Oh I'm very familiar with your work,” Wanda retorts. “Who is she this time? Another TA? No, that pairing has to bore you by now. Besides, you don't need a dating profile in order to date a student.” 

“You've been stalking me?” He asks, he's more intrigued than anything. 

Wanda makes a face, “Gross. No. That would mean I gave a shit about your personal life. I have friends that use dating apps. And you weren't exactly discrete about it on your profile.” 

Vision’s face starts to get red and Wanda knows that she has struck a nerve. Not only did she reveal that she knows he isn't being faithful in his current marriage, she revealed how she found out. She is almost certain that the mention of her friends being involved has painted a mental picture of her having a laugh about him with them. She’d put good money on Vision picturing you as the friend, causing him to grow even more upset. 

“Vis, I don't care what you do in your free time. I care that it affects my kids,” she states firmly. “Either end the affair or give me full custody. Because I will not allow you to keep hurting them with this deadbeat father act you have going on.” She starts to walk towards her car expecting him to slam the door shut but instead, he follows her. 

“Oh you'd love to have me out of the picture, wouldn't you? So that you can live happily ever after with, Y/n! That's it, isn't it?” He shouts behind her. Wanda stops and spins as she lets out a malicious laugh.

“What is with your obsession with Y/n? They have been nothing but kind to our boys when you fail them time and time again. They are always there for the twins when you've abandoned our boys. Y/n has covered for your ass over and over,” she takes steps towards Vision as she defends her friend to him. “They do nothing but try to make you look better to those boys. You should be thanking them instead of threatening them! You have no idea the kind of person they are. And it's not their fault that you are such a sorry excuse for a father. Gosh, your own family finds it difficult to be related to you.” 

Vision shakes his head, “You are a vindictive cunt.” 

“Call me all of the names you want. You can't hurt me anymore,” Wanda glares at her former husband defiantly. She scoffs. “You're a pitiful man. I hope karma gets you one day.” She walks away and doesn't turn back once as he continues to shout profanities at her. She does, however, raise her middle finger at him. 

“Mom, are you okay?” Billy asks from the backseat once Wanda has joined her boys in the car. She turns back and reaches out to hold his hand. She smiles at him and squeezes his hand. 

“Mommy is more than okay,” she says confidently. She doesn't recognize herself at this moment and it's a fantastic feeling. “Are you boys ready to go? You didn't leave behind any important homework or school books right?” 

“Right,” the boys say at the same time. 

“Okay, let's go home then,” she smiles at each of her kids before starting her car and driving away from Vision’s house. When she pulls into the driveway of her current home she can feel the ghost of the person she used to be. The woman that once believed living a life on eggshells was normal. That she was always meant to be careful around her husband. That her children were to be completely obedient and quiet. That woman and that life haunt every corner of the house. They start to hide when the boys laugh loudly at something that happens in the movie they’re watching. But when you stop by to return the tupperware, the ghosts seem to disappear instantly. As if they were never there.

“You know, Y/n,” Wanda starts as she closes the door behind you. “We are friends, you don't need an excuse to see me.”

“Okay, you caught me but we never really got a chance to ourselves last week and I thought since,” you are cut off when the boys come running towards you and wrap their arms around you as they crash into your body. “Oh! Hi guys! What are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be with your dad this week?” You keep your tone light, you would hate to ever make them feel unwanted. You hug them back just as tight. 

“Dad had a work thing,” Billy answers with a smile. “What are you doing here? Rachel isn't here.” 

You look at Wanda, not sure how to answer. “That’s right, Rachel is not here. But Y/n had my container and I asked them to bring it back,” Wanda answers for you. “Come on boys, I'm sure Y/n has to get back home and you two need to get ready for bed.” 

“Can you stay and read us a bedtime story?” Tommy asks with wide eyes filled with excitement as he steps back.

“Yeah? Can you?” Billy asks as he jumps back, just as excited. 

You hesitate and that causes the two kids to start begging. “Please? You and mom tell the stories really well together!” You look at Wanda as you reminisce about the couple of times the two of you read bedtime stories for the three kids when you and Rachel were staying here. 

“I thought you said bedtime stories were for babies?” Wanda says as she messes with her son's hair. 

“They are but not when you and Y/n tell them,” Tommy defends. Wanda gives you a look that says ‘I tried,’ and it makes you laugh. 

“Okay boys, go finish getting ready for bed and I'll join your mom for story time,” you agree and the kids cheer as they run up the stairs. 

“Thank you for that. You know, you don't have to stay,” Wanda says as she tests the waters and puts her hand on your bicep. You shrug as your arm warms up from her touch. 

“They think we're good together,” you say with slight innuendo. “Besides, it won't be long before they despise my presence. I'm sure their dad will poison them against me as soon as puberty hits. I have to enjoy their praises while I still can.” You smile at her as you maintain eye contact and stand a little closer to her. 

Wanda bites her lower lip as her eyes travel to your lips. It's been a week and a half since the two of you kissed. You had been by every day since but neither of you have had a moment alone long enough to discuss anything. She had so much that she wanted to tell you that she couldn't. Not when the kids are so close. She would hate it if the kids got excited about something that may or may not happen. “I wish their father thought about the fact that we only have a few precious years left with them before they become moody teenagers. But,” Wanda shrugs. “I guess that's my fault for falling for a selfish man before my frontal lobe developed.” Wanda’s eyes meet yours again as she flashes you a sad smile. 

You reach out and hold her shoulder. You open your mouth to say something but you're interrupted by a loud screech of, “We're ready!” from Tommy and Billy. You laugh. 

“I guess that's our cue,” you say as you drop your hand from her shoulder. 

“You go first, I have to put this away,” she holds up the tupperware and you nod then you climb the stairs and warn the boys that you are on your way. Wanda takes a deep breath as her body craves your touch. It was an innocent touch but it made her mind wander to not so innocent thoughts and she needed a second. She serves herself a cold glass of water and chugs half of it. 

“Mom! Mom! Mom!” She hears you chanting with the boys and hearing you call her that almost makes her spit out her water from laughter. 

“Okay! I'm coming!” She shouts as she gets to the bottom of the staircase. The chants don't stop until she walks through the door. You and the boys clap and cheer as she comes in. Wanda stops for a moment and poses. You start whistling as the boys cheer louder. “Alright, settle down. Settle down. What story are we reading tonight?” 

The boys fall asleep halfway through the story. You were so engrossed in the storytelling that Wanda had to stop you in order for you to notice that they had fallen asleep. You shut the book and the two of you carefully snuck out of the room. You waited for her in the hallway as she shut off the lights and closed the door. 

When the door was shut she turned to face you. The two of you stand there, both wanting to embrace each other. Maybe even share another sober kiss that would intoxicate each of you. Wanda wants to thank you for helping her find her strength. You want to thank her for always being there for you and your daughter. You want to tell her the deep feelings you've developed for her over the months. You want to hold her in your arms and never let go. 

“Can I show you something before you go?” Wanda whispers. 

“Uh, yeah, sure,” you answer, feeling a little awkward. You clear your throat and gesture for her to lead the way. Wanda takes your hand and laces her finger through yours as she guides you to her office. You were a little surprised that she led you here but you were more surprised with yourself that part of you anticipated her taking you to any other room. Especially with her kids here. 

Wanda lets go of you and walks around her desk to shuffle through her files in the drawer. When she finds what she's looking for she looks up at you with a grin. “Close the door and come closer. It's a secret,” she says with a playfulness to her voice. You smile and shut the door to her office before joining her side. “So I have a plot of land,” she starts as she opens the folder. “And I want to build my dream house on it. These are some of the ideas that I have so far.” She shows you printed-out mood boards and detailed sketches along with images and measurements of the land. 

“Wow, I think this is great,” you say as you flip through the pages. You look at her with a curious glance. “What inspired this?” 

Wanda shrugs, “I'm tired of living under someone else's guidelines of what my house is supposed to have or not have. I'm a very overqualified architect, I know what I can and cannot do.” Her confidence makes you smile. “Besides, this is Vision-free land. He's never owned it. He's never lived on it. He's never traumatized me or the kids here. It's a land that is free to have an unlimited amount of good memories and none of them have to be tarnished by him.” Her grin widens and her shoulders relax at the thought. 

“That's wonderful,” you tell her softly. “So, why are you sharing this with me?” 

A blush appears on Wanda's cheeks and your heart picks up speed in anticipation for her answer. “I um, I could use your expertise in building it. Not anytime soon. I still have to get the money to fund the project but, there isn't anyone I'd rather have build it for me than you,” she smiles up at you. 

You lick your lips as you consider kissing her. But you think better of it. Billy or Tommy could walk in at any moment and catch the two of you. It's enough to make you stand up straighter instead of hovering close to her. “I'd be honored to build your dream house for you, Wanda.” 

Wanda rises from her chair and pulls you in for a warm embrace. “Thank you,” she says against your chest. 

“Of course,” you respond quietly as you wrap your arms around her. You close your eyes as you embrace the moment. “I should get going. It's pretty late,” you state without letting her go. Wanda hums in agreement as she also makes no motion to break away. 

Eventually, the two of you do break away and she offers to walk you to your car. You feel giddy as you remember the night of the kiss. Wanda’s mind is thinking about the same thing as she walks with you arm in arm. 

“I don't know if this is weird to mention but we did make a bet on it so I feel as though I kind of have to tell you about this,” you ramble nervously as the two of you get close to the car. “Uh, you win the bet. That volunteer texted me the other day.” Wanda's smile drops and her demeanor shifts a little. 

“Oh? And what did she have to say?” Wanda asks as she starts to feel her positive energy waiver. 

“Nothing worth mentioning,” you say in an attempt to let her know that you're not interested in Nebula as you reach your truck. “Anyway, I'm thinking about getting my haircut on Sunday after I pick up Rachel. Should I give you a call?” You lean against the door as you watch Wanda. She gives you a tight smile and you know that whatever you thought might happen isn't going to. 

“Yeah, I um, I think I have a few ideas ready. Just let me know where to be on Sunday,” she doesn't look at you as she speaks and you want to slap yourself for even mentioning another woman. 

“Okay, I'll make the appointment and text you the details,” you fiddle with your keys awkwardly. “I'll see you on Sunday,” you say as you climb into your truck. Disappointed in yourself. This was not at all how this was supposed to go. It was starting to feel like there are forces out there trying to keep the two of you apart. 

On Friday night, you stare at the message from Nebula as you consider responding while you sit at a booth with Darcy. It's becoming a common occurrence, hanging out with Darcy, Steve, and Bucky. Your coworker is typically the one inviting everyone out. You're surprised that he doesn't invite his girlfriend. In fact, you don't think you've seen Natasha since Wanda's New Years Eve party. And Steve hasn’t talked about Peggy in some time either. But you don't think about it too much. 

“I know that face,” Darcy says as she steals a couple of fries from your plate. 

“I don't know what you're talking about,” you put your phone in your pocket. 

“You have many faces, Y/n. That face is one of regret and frustration,” Darcy continues to steal your fries. You shake your head and look around the bar to avoid looking at your friend. “Come on, lay it on me. Is Wanda seeing someone finally? Did your former child-bride reach out to you?” 

“Daisy wasn't that much younger than me,” you defend as you take a sip from the beer bottle. “Besides, you never got to meet her. You don't get to judge.”

Darcy leans in closer with wide eyes, “She dumped you when your kid was in the hospital! What more do I need to know about her?” You shake your head. Then your eyes widen as they land on Steve and Bucky kissing. Your eyebrows knit together from the shock. “What?” Darcy spins around to search for what you could be seeing. Then she sees them. “Oh, yeah. That,” she turns back to you with a shrug. “I've known about that. Now back to you.” Darcy snaps her fingers in your face and waves until you look back to her. “Hello? What's going on with you?”

“What do you mean you knew about them?” You ask instead. “They both have girlfriends! They're cheaters! I didn't know I was friends with cheaters!”

Darcy sighs and rolls her eyes. “Calm down. The way I understand it, Steve and Peggy broke up sometime after that party at Wanda’s place. And Bucky and Natasha have an understanding. I don't know if it's an open relationship situation or a throuple or what. I don't ask them questions because I don't care. What I do care about is you. So, what's wrong?” 

You shake your head before running your fingers through your hair and sigh. “I fucked up,” you go on to explain the bet you made with Wanda about Nebula. “Then we kissed and before I could get a chance to talk to her about the kiss, I mentioned that she won the bet and she completely pulled away. I haven't been able to get a hold of her since. I didn’t mean anything by it. I just, she likes to win. I thought she'd like to know that she won and she gets to choose my next haircut.” You shrug then shake your head and then rub your face. 

Darcy reaches across the table and holds your wrist as a way to provide some sort of comfort. The two of you sit in silence for a moment. Darcy hasn't gotten to know Wanda enough to be able to explain her behavior. But she's known you for some time now and she knows that sometimes all you need is support. No encouraging words. No solutions to your problems. Just someone's presence. 

Steve and Bucky rejoin the two of you. Steve sits next to you and Bucky sits across the table next to Darcy. “What’d we miss?” Steve asks as he throws his arm around your shoulders. You shrug in response. 

“I'm an idiot,” you mutter. 

“Oh come on, I asked what I missed. Not what I already know,” he teases and with her free hand, Darcy throws some fries at him. “Ow, hey!” She snaps her fingers and points to you and you start to feel a little ridiculous. “Oh, I'm sorry Y/n,” he says once he is paying attention. You shake your head and stand up muttering something about leaving. “Hey, no, come on. It was a bad joke. Stay, Y/n,” he tries to call you back to the table. 

“You're so full of yourself, Steve!” Darcy says before she catches up with you. “Hey, lets-” 

“No, it’s fine. I'm fine. It wasn’t about Steve. He's always like that. I’m just…” you shake your head. “I need to go home.” You tell her calmly. “I won't do anything stupid, I promise.”

Darcy sighs then nods, “Yeah, okay. I'll see you soon. Oh! That reminds me, I will be moving to Germany to join a research team for a year. I leave in three months.” 

“Oh my goodness! Way to bury the lead!” You pull her into a quick hug. “Congratulations! That sounds like an amazing opportunity!” You pull away and admire her for a second. “You are possibly the coolest person I know.” 

Darcy closes her eyes, tilts her head, and smiles. “I know I am,” she says happily. She opens her eyes and pats your arm. “Get out of here. And tell Wanda I said hi.” 

You make a face, “Why would I tell Wanda-” 

“Oh please, you think I actually believe that you're going to your apartment? She is your home. And I better be receiving an invitation to the wedding by the time I come home from Germany.” 

You shake your head as you give her a final hug goodbye. You get in your car and consider driving to Wanda’s house. Her boys are with her so you try to not think about it. But as you're driving, you suddenly realize that you're close to her neighborhood. You sigh as you think about what Darcy said. Wanda is your home. You take the turn into her neighborhood and start to think about what you're going to tell her when you see her. 

As you pull up, you notice the time and frown as you see that the house is dark. You put the car in park and stare at her house. It was pretty late. You shouldn't have expected that she would be awake just because it was a Friday night. You don't even let Rachel stay up past eleven at night. But you know that sometimes Wanda likes to enjoy a glass of wine and catch up on her favorite reality show before going to bed. 

So you take your chances and call her. The phone rings a couple of times before you finally hear her voice. “Hey you,” she is speaking softly. You wonder if her boys are near her. Awake or asleep, there's a reason she is so quiet. 

“Hey, did I wake you?” You ask as you start to regret being here. 

“No, no,” Wanda says, her voice still low. “I’m catching up on my show. But um Billy had a nightmare. He’s sleeping next to me and I'm trying to not wake him.” Your eyes travel up to her window as you see the faint glow of the television through the blinds. “Are you okay? Do you need something?” 

You don’t respond right away. You just think about her. “No, I'm okay. I just,” you sigh. “I never responded to that volunteer. I want you to know that. I’m sorry if I-” 

“Y/n I don’t think now is a good time,” she interrupts. 

“I’m parked in the driveway. If you don't want Billy to hear,” you tell her quickly. You watch the shadows of the curtains move and the blinds open after a couple of minutes. Her silhouette stands in the middle of the window. “I think we have a lot to talk about.” 

Wanda is quiet as she stands still. You hope that she accepts your invitation. “Go home, Y/n. It's late and,” she trails off as she closes the blinds. “We don't have anything to talk about.” Your heart breaks at her words. 

“Wanda please,” you beg, “let's talk about this. Maybe not tonight but soon.” 

“Y/n, I,” her words seem to fail her as she goes quiet. You sit in your truck patiently waiting for her to continue. To say something. Anything. After a while you wonder if she hung up so you lift the phone off of your face and are slightly relieved to see that the call is still going. Then you watch the call end. Your eyes travel to the front door as it opens. 

Wanda walks out and you step out of the truck to meet her halfway but she holds her hands up to stop you. You stay close to the truck. “Wanda, can you explain to me what I did wrong? Because I don't feel like I-” 

Wanda waves her hand to cut you off, “Stop, you didn't do anything wrong. It's me. I'm… I wanted our friendship… I want us to…” she closes her eyes and shakes her head. “I’m sorry. I practiced this speech to myself since Wednesday but,” she sighs as she runs her fingers through her hair. She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. “When we kissed, I did want us to explore the possibility of more between us. Hell, I deleted all of the dating apps I was on and blocked every person I hooked up with that night. I thought I was ready. But I'm not. And it's not because of you. You are great. You're great to me, you're great to my kids, to my entire family actually.” She opens her eyes and you can see the tears building up. “I'm in a better place than I was when we first met but I’m not ready for anything more than your friendship. At least not right now.” 

You cast your eyes down to the ground for a moment to allow your heart to break. You bite your lips to keep from letting the emotions show on your face. Then, when you feel ready, you swallow your feelings and you nod. “Okay, yeah,” you look at her as you try to hide your sadness. “I can do that. I can be your friend. It’s okay, I understand that you still have a lot of healing or whatever to work through. It's okay, Wanda. I lo-” 

“Don't,” Wanda cuts you off and you nod with your mouth shut. “I know that you care about me. A lot. I care about you too. A lot. But I… I don't expect you to wait for me to be ready. No. Let me rephrase,” she steps closer and holds your hands. “Don't wait for me. Don’t put your life on hold for me.” 

You want to argue and fight for her but if this is what she wants then there isn't much else that you can do. You look her in the eye and ask, “Are you sure this is what you want?” Wanda nods. “Okay. I won't um I won't wait and I won't bring this up again. Not until you do. I understand.” 

“Thank you,” she says softly. 

“Will I still see you on Sunday?” You ask as you think about the bet again. “You still have a prize to collect,” you remind her playfully. 

“Yeah, I'll be there,” she flashes you a small smile that drops as fast as it appears. You drop her hand and shove your hand into your pockets. 

“Darcy wanted me to tell you that she said hi. I was hanging out with her before this,” you tell her. 

“That's nice, how is she doing?” Wanda crosses her arms over her chest to keep her body warm as a cool breeze comes by. 

“She's good, she'll be gone for a year. She got a big opportunity in Germany. But she's got three more months of being stuck here,” you inform her conversationally. Trying to move past the emotionally heightened moment. 

“Wow, that sounds fascinating. I'll have to reach out to her. I liked meeting her,” Wanda says. 

“I'm sure she'd love that,” you nod then you look at your watch. “I'll let you go back inside. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-”

“No, I'm glad you did. I'll see you on Sunday,” Wanda kisses your cheek before she walks away. “Goodnight, drive safe,” she shouts over her shoulder as she continues walking to her front door. You climb back into your car and drive to your apartment. 

You allow yourself to cry and feel the heartbreak. You don't drink alcohol to forget it or make it easier. You don't smoke from the pack of cigarettes that you purchased on the way home. You just lie on your bed and clutch a pillow to your chest. 

On Sunday you pick up Rachel from her mom's house and tell her that you lost a bet to Wanda and that she is going to pick out your new haircut. Rachel giggles with excitement. 

“A mullet? Really?” You look at Wanda like she is crazy. “Are you trying to sabotage my dating life?” 

Wanda laughs with a shrug, “It's not my fault your hair is long enough for it. Besides, I hear it's a very popular style for the They/Thems of the world.” You shake your head as she plays with your hair. The hairdresser laughs at the request as well before promising that the style is coming back. You tell him to just get it over with. 

In the end, you don't completely hate it but you still don't feel like it's your style. However, Wanda's boys love it. “Mom, I want my hair like Y/n's! Mom, can we get our haircut too?” 

“Oh, I'm sure that the schedule is busy and we didn't make an appointment for you two,” Wanda tried to tell them.

“Oh we have a couple hours free, I don't mind giving them a cut. The kids want to match their parent,” Clint says. 

“Oh I'm not,” you stutter. 

“We’re just friends,” Wanda corrects. 

Clint nods as he eyes the two of you with a knowing smirk. “So am I cutting the kids' hair or not?” he asks a little loud, drawing the attention of the boys. The twins begin to beg over and over until Wanda caves. They cheer as they each hop into a chair. Clint disappears into the back to collect his wife to cut Billy's hair while he works on Tommy. 

You sit next to your daughter and Wanda sits on the other side of her. “What about you? Do you want to get a haircut?” Wanda asks. 

Rachel shakes her head with a scrunched-up face. “No, I'm okay.” 

“Her hair doesn't grow back fast. It took a while for it to get this long,” you explain. “That's her mom's genetics,” you say lightly as you mess with Rachel's hair. She swats her hand away and goes back to playing games on your phone. 

When the boys are done with their haircuts the group of you decide to grab some ice cream together and enjoy the treats at a nearby park. 

Wanda is messing with your hair as you watch the kids play on the playground. “Why are you suddenly so obsessed with my hair?” You ask with a laugh.

“I don't know, I've never seen a mullet in person. It looks so… touchable. I don't know. I can't explain it,” Wanda replies as she continues to move her fingers through your hair. “Business in the front,” she touches the front of your hair and then moves her hand down to the back, “party in the back!”

You shake your head slightly, “You're insufferable, you know that right?”

“I know,” she says. As much as you are giving off the impression that you don't want her to touch your hair, you're happy that she is. 

“I'm starting to rethink this whole friendship thing,” you grouch with a playfulness to your tone. 

“Whatever, Uncle Jesse,” she pulls her hand out of your hair and holds her phone up. “Say cheese!” You roll your eyes as she takes candid pictures of you. Then she calls her boys over to pose with you. The three of you show off your new haircuts. 

After going to a fast food restaurant for dinner, you and Wanda decide it's best to split from each other so that the kids can get ready for school on Monday. Everyone hugs each other goodbye. 

“Baba?” Rachel asks for your attention as you're driving home. You hum to let her know that she has your attention. “When you do fall in love again. I hope it's with someone like Wanda.”  You don't say anything as you keep your eyes on the road.

Chapter 18

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[tisgifrants]

i feel bad for all the commentary channels that are documenting the recent events these days. people like cruel world, happy mind; swoop; adam mcintyre; even freaking hi! im wonder-- they have all been subject to the likes of illuminaughtii, colleen ballinger and johnny silvestri, and are now seeing what tf ruby franke did to her children.

ofc none of whom i mentioned suffered through such pain like the children (thank God), but me knowing that they did suffer through their own trauma and abuse-- that they documented for us viewers to see-- just to document (or soon to document) the horrible news that the so called "mother" did to her adolescent children.

so sad.

[comeontaylorspeaknow]

2011//2023