#wooo got them all posted!!! now to link these to each other

[radiomogai]

about;; general

welcome to radiomogai, a MOGAI blog run by the Petrichor Polyplex!! we’re largely an archival blog, but we do also coin terms, take requests, and help people find terms. please refer to us with rai/rainy, petri/petrichor, or it/its pronouns. we use he/him as auxiliary pronouns

we’ve been involved in MOGAI since mid-to-late 2016, although we’ve never been a big name in it. our greatest claim to fame is lovemogai, a blog we have now largely abandoned but which remains up as an archive

this blog largely runs on a queue that currently posts 30 posts a day

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we have no set DNI, but we will block anyone who makes us uncomfortable. here are some of our opinions for sake of following: we support all forms of plurality, we support self-diagnosis, we support those with personality disorders, and we’re uncomfortable with ships involving underage & adult characters or related characters

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[tigerseye46]

Trust Is A Process

Chapter 9: Time to Be Better

Summary: The group was attacked again when the tension was bubbling and boiling between Sun Wukong and Xiaotian. They refused to see eye to eye when they needed to work together. Then they were forced to split off and got trapped together. Rather they discussed the issue or not, it was clear. They needed to be better.

T/W: Panic attacks, claustrophobia, blood

A/N: Wooo!! Early surprise chapter!! There might another one posted on Thursday too.

Word Count: 4,437

Start | Previous | Next

AO3 Link

The ship jolted as it was hit, and an explosion rang out. The two gripped the railing to prevent themselves from falling.

They looked down. The possessed spiders were barely visible from the sky, but they could make out their smirks and waves.

The alarms rang and they covered their ears. Over the intercom, Sandy said, “Don’t worry. We’ll be fi-”

Another blast. Wukong complained, “Were you about to say fine, Wujing?” As if the demon could actually hear him with all the noise.

“So maybe, we might be, possibly, just in a bit of a pickle.”

“YOU THINK?” Xiaotian and Wukong yelled in unison. They glared at each other and ran inside to assist. The weapons perched on top of their ship started firing at the spiders.

“We have to land again,” the fish shouted.

“AGAIN?”

“Are you sure that’s the right idea?” Sun Wukong asked. “Last time we were forced to land I ended up getting kicked out.”

Pigsy winced at the mention. “Dadsy made the right call. You attacked us!”

“I didn’t attack you and you know it!”

“Both of ya quit fighting! We have bigger things to worry about! Kid, don’t hold that against the Monkey King. It was my fault.”

“It certainly wasn’t, dadsy! Maybe if the Monkey King was a better person then we wouldn’t have to deal with all of this.”

“Same goes for you!”

“Did somethin’ happen?”

“NO!”

Sandy commanded, “Talk about your issues later! We have to land this!”

Xiaojiao pulled out her dragon blade. “We might have to fight!”

Xiaotian panicked. “I don’t have a weapon!”

“Then get one!”

“So he can attack someone,” the sage snapped.

“Yea, attack the bad guys, Monkey King! I’m not you!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Xiaojiao pushed them out the door. “Just get some weapons! Now!”

“FINE!”

They rushed to the training room, nudging and bumping into each other along the way. “Where’s that bag the Dragon King of the East gave you?”

“Hidden. We didn’t want you to hurt me again.”

“I’M SORRY! OKAY?”

“SORRY DOESN’T FIX THINGS!”

“YOUR SORRY DOESN’T EITHER!” MK’s chest heaved. “Where are they? We need them.”

“You are not getting them. I don’t trust you.”

“Then what are we supposed to fight with? The wooden staffs?”

Wukong jolted as the memory of their training sessions. “NO!”

“Why not? I don’t have to listen to you!” Xiaotian snatched a wooden staff. 

Wukong stumbled back. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“Whatever. Catch!” Xiaotian tossed another staff and the king stepped away. It fell to the ground with a thud then he picked it up. “Why didn’t you catch it?”

“I don’t trust you!”

“I don’t trust you ei-”

They slammed against the wall. The ship landed on rocky terrain. The ground scraped against the metal. Exhaust blew in the air. Sandy turned off the engines immediately.

They hopped off the ship to face their enemies who had somehow caught up to them.

“You’re going to defeat us with wooden weapons? Pathetic,” Huntsman mocked.

Sandy tried to dissuade them by saying, “Come on. You don’t want to do this. What happened to you saying you’re no one’s errand boy?”

“I was foolish. I serve the White Bone spirit now!”

Tang interrogated the fish, “Sandy, have you talked to this guy before? He attacked Pigsy and I during New Years.” There was a bit of a bite and a hiss in his next question. “Are you two close?”

“What? No! We met each other when I was retrieving the Crimson Jimsonweed. We talked a bit…”

“Wonderful. So you’re nicer to an enemy that could have hurt me and Pigsy than you are to me.”

“No, I’m not. You know how I am.”

“Oh, yea, I know how you are,” he growled.

“Tang, is this really important right now?”

“Yes!”

“Have your lovers’ spat later,” Wukong demanded and pointed his staff at the spiders.

Sandy’s cheeks shifted to a bright purple. “We are not lovers!”

Tang sighed in disappointment at the proclamation. “Yea…”

Huntsman swung his hand. “Enough talk!”

The group utilized their weapons to defend themselves against the spiders. It was difficult considering the fact that Sun Wukong’s and Xiaotian’s staffs weren’t the most effective tools for battle. Plus the added power gifted by the spirit made the fight almost one-sided.

They were pushed back by the spiders. Their bodies illuminated blue.

“We might have to run,” Sandy stated.

“Again?”

“Yes!”

Bluish tendrils appeared and wrapped around the group. They struggled and kicked. “Hey!”

Xiaojiao sliced one with her blade then sliced the others, freeing them from the trap. “Leave my family alone! And the Monkey King too!”

Sun Wukong blew off the comment. “Where is there to go?”

Pigsy gestured to a cave. “That cave!”

“We are not going in there!” Caves meant tight spaces. The Monkey King wasn’t great in tight spaces. No, they couldn’t go in there.

The demons cornered them to the entrance of it. “We don’t have a choice!”

As they ran inside, three paths laid before them. “What do we choose?”

They screeched as a dart landed onto the wall beside them. They split in opposite directions with Xiaotian and Wukong inadvertently going with each other.

They were chased by Syntax. A small device was thrown in front of them, beeping and blinking red.

Wukong tugged Xiaotian’s arms and bolted far ahead of the device. It detonated and the cave rumbled.

More devices were planted and they leaped over them. One device hit the ceiling. It exploded. Rocks collided to the ground, separating them from Syntax.

They let sighs of relief and slumped against the rocky wall to catch their breaths.

“He’ll just- he’ll just… use those devices to make his way to us. We have to keep moving.” Sun Wukong panted.

“You don’t have to tell me that.”

“I’m just… I’m just saying.”

They needed to get out of the cave quickly. He couldn’t be here.

“We wouldn’t be here if you didn’t take her on yourself.”

“I’m aware it’s my fault.”

“I at least took her on!”

“And you lost. You couldn’t even defeat her. Pathetic.”

“You couldn’t either!”

“I’m not the one blaming someone here.”

“Yes, you are! You should have chosen another person!”

“I should have! Heck, anyone would be better than you!”

A fist was raised. The king emitted a shuddering breath, waiting for the kid to strike. Instead, the kid cried and trembled. Then he erupted like a volcano. “I know that! I know… you don’t have to tell me! I failed… I failed so much. I tried to be you and I ended up screwing it up! I didn’t tell the others about what happened… I should have told them! I don’t know why I didn’t. Maybe… maybe because I didn’t want them to leave me when I found out I was so weak. I didn’t want to get left behind.”

So the kid also shared a similar fear… then again, he always had his own secret list of insecurities.

“I thought that maybe, just maybe if I become stronger, I wouldn’t. You chose me to be your successor. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PRESSURE IT IS? I was content admiring your bravery and your stories then you chose me of all people. It was amazing but I quickly remembered how many enemies you had, how much I had to take on. I wanted to be worthy of the power I was given. But I wasn’t good enough. You’re right. I could have told Pigsy. I could have told you, anyone about what happened. But I wanted to prove I could be like you. Strong, brave, never needing help from anybody. I wanted to be great. And for what? Now my city is gone! I don’t know what to do… And I just keep making mistakes.”

Xiaotian yelled with tears pooling his eyes, “I hurt you, Monkey King! I allowed all my anger to get the best of me. The spirit controlled me because of it! I hurt you. I could have killed you! I understand why you don’t want me as your successor. I wouldn’t want me.”

“Kid…”

They had their own brand of doubts. And it was selfish of him to stop considering how the kid felt compared to him. It was selfish of him to continue running from his problems. He played the whole situation as if it was fine when he was still afraid and hurt and he couldn’t forgive the kid for what he had done. But he couldn’t disregard his own actions either.

They hurt each other. They spewed poisonous and dangerous words when they could have communicated. Ao Lie was correct. He needed to talk more about his issues. They both did. Like teacher, like student. Together they were at fault.

But he felt more responsible. He was supposed to be older and wiser. He was a horrible person.

The walls seemed to squeeze together. The room began to spin. Horrible. Horrible. I need to get out.

He grabbed at his throat as he struggled to breath. He stumbled. His arm slammed on the stone.

“And the spirit was right…” A hitch and a gasp combined together. “Monkey King?” The walls crept closer and the king pressed his knees to his chest. “Are you claustrophobic?”

The sage couldn’t answer. Words were caught in his throat. The sudden movement of the kid’s arm caused the king to recoil. “Breathe, Monkey King. Breathe.” Xiaotian breathed softly and the king did the same. He was shuddering still. “I’m not going to hurt you, okay? I’m going to sit right next to you.” Xiaotian sat on his knees beside the sage.

“Sorry, kid,” he apologized with trembling lips.

“No, it’s fine. Do you have that often?”

“Yep. More than I’d like.”

“I didn’t know you hated tight spaces.”

“I’m not as brave or amazing as I look. Or have you missed that? Look, kid… There are a lot of things you don’t know about me. You have every right to be angry at me for what I’ve done. This doesn’t excuse my actions but… the truth is, I didn’t want to lose you. I’ve…” He sighed. “I’ve lost too much already. I did more harm than good by trying to keep you in the dark. I was wrong and so were you. We hurt each other and those around us by hiding our problems. We believed as the heroes we should take every hardship by ourselves. I’m sorry, bud. I wish I could take it all back but I can’t and neither can you. I’m still scared of you and after all you said, I can’t forgive you.”

Xiaotian’s face dropped but they nodded. “I understand.”

“Let me finish. I can’t forgive you… yet. But maybe eventually I will. We have to work at trusting each other again. We have to learn to get along if we want to fight this. We can’t be selfish. Okay?”

Another nod. “O-okay… And I can’t forgive you yet. You hurt me but I hurt you. You’re right. We have to put aside our differences to save the world. Maybe we can start one step at a time?”

“I would like that, bud. It’s time to be better.”

Xiaotian reached out their hand for the king to take. “Time to be better.” The king flinched and paused but eventually accepted the hand and shook it. “And I’m sorry for what I said about Macaque. He hurt me more than you ever have and I acted like you were worse.”

“No one can hurt you more than the people you used to care about.”

“Still care about,” he corrected, “but in that case, Macaque hurt me way more.”

“He most certainly did and one day, I’ll tell you the true story.” A bang sounded and the nerd spider stepped out from the smoke and rubble. “Now, it’s time to run!”

He hoisted the boy up and bolted from their attacker.

As their chase continued, the Monkey King said, “And bud.”

“Yea?”

“I never expected you to be me. I just expect you to be the version of yourself that you can. Without the… uhhh going on a rampage and attacking me part.”

“I’ll try my best.” The kid stopped in his tracks. “Hey. Why don’t you say we stop running and face this demon head on?”

“Sounds like a better plan. I’m done running.”

They turned to the demon with weapons in hand. Syntax cackled. “Are you going to defeat me with pathetic sticks?”

“Yes, we are!” He looked at the kid and with a half smile said, “Time to be better.”

———

Tang grumbled, “I can’t believe I managed to get stuck with you of all people and the fact your boyfriend is chasing us.”

“He is not my boyfriend,” Sandy replied.

“Uh huh. Sureeee. You could have told us you had a secret lover.”

“I do not have a secret lover! We just talked!”

“About?”

“A lot of stuff. He was trying to make me enraged but nothing about what you think.”

“Yea, I totally believe you.”

The demon sighed. “Tang…”

“WHAT?”

“You don’t have to be mad at me. We’re trying to get out of here together.”

“Why wouldn’t I be mad at you? Also you can drop the nice act.”

“I am nice!”

“No, you’re not,” Tang fumed. “You’re only nice to the people you care about!”

What a funny thing for Tang to say. Sandy thought the exact same way. The human only cared about those worth his time and the demon was definitely worth his time.

“That is not true.”

“Whatever you say. If you cared about me then you would be nicer.”

“I do care about you. I love seeing and hanging out with you every time I can.”

Tang seemed taken aback. “That’s another lie! You always lie to me! Like about you being Sha Wujing!”

“I didn’t lie to you. I just withheld information. Why does being Sha Wujing matter?”

“Because all this time I was in front of you, telling stories, you never corrected me on anything. How am I supposed to know what is accurate?”

“Is that what you’re upset about?”

“No! It’s the fact you didn’t trust me with that secret!”

“It’s not that I didn’t trust. You don’t understand, Tang. I wanted to leave that part of me behind.”

“Why? You’re the amazing Sha Wujing and I’m just some stupid mortal. Why would you ever want that?”

Sandy huffed and rubbed his forehead. “You are not some stupid mortal. There are things you don’t know about me. Stuff I’m not comfortable sharing yet. It doesn’t mean I don’t trust you. It’s just too painful to talk about.”

Tang nodded in understanding. “Fine. Whatever.” He instinctively leapt near Sandy when a dart landed near him. “Oh, great, it’s your boyfriend.”

“He is not my boyfriend! Can you stop being a brat for one second?”

“A BRAT?” Tang’s shoulders trembled in fury.

“Er… I didn’t mean that.”

“Then what did you mean?”

“Please, Tang, just work with me here.”

“No!”

Webs wrapped around the demon. Huntsman smirked. “I don’t even have to try. Your bickering makes it easy.”

Sha Wujing struggled against the webs. “You don’t have to do this! We can bring you back to normal!”

“I don’t need to return to normal. I serve the White Bone Spirit and I’m happy with that!”

Tang grabbed the silk and tugged some of it off. “Sandy, stop trying to be nice to him,” he scolded.

“He’s possessed!”

“So?”

“I’m trying to get through to him like I did with you.”

“Oh, so you call that ‘getting through to me’? What a great way!”

“Are you two done?” Huntsman asked. “I don’t have all day.”

“Tang, run.” Sandy pointed his chin to the path ahead.

“I am not leaving you!”

Huntsman said, “Even if he does run, he’ll be easy prey anyway.”

Sandy wiggled out of the webs. “You are not touching him!” Tang appeared flattered by the statement. “Let’s go, Tang!” They sprinted away from the spider who continued to shoot webs and darts. Given he was an excellent hunter, he was most likely toying with them. “How do you stop a hunter?”

“Obstacles obviously! But what? Can you smash the roof?”

“You want to trap us?”

“No! Just do it!” Sandy punched the roof of their path. The rocks crumbled down. “There. I knew what I was doing. Should buy us time.”

“Thanks. That was a brilliant plan.”

“It came from me. Of course it’s a brilliant plan.”

“You are brilliant.”

The scholar’s cheeks contained a speck of pink but he refused to react to it. Sandy was probably trying to get on his good side so he can fall for his nice act again. He wasn’t falling for it. Not one bit! Even when Sandy shot him a gentle smile and made him weak in the knees. Or told him to run… Sandy was a hero so it was natural he would do that. Common Decency. And not because he actually felt something for the scholar.

It wasn’t long before Sandy spoke up. “So what did you mean when you said you weren’t going to leave me?”

“Common decency. And as much as I hate you I can’t leave you.”

“Why do you hate me?” The scholar kept his mouth shut. “Look, Tang. I don’t get what I did to make you so mad but I’m sorry.”

Tang’s eyes turned a little soft at the apology before returning to their previous coldness. “Well, sorry doesn’t fix things between us! And sure, you ‘don’t know what you did.’ You’re one of the smartest people I know. You know exactly what you did.” 

Tang thought he was smart? “I’m flattered you think that, but I’m not actually that smart so maybe you could… spell it out for me?”

The scholar laughed bitterly at the idea. “I don’t need to spell out the obvious. Let’s just keep moving.”

The scholar took a few steps then Sandy spoke up again. “Oh...okay. Tang, I’m really sorry.”

Tang glanced over his shoulder and replied quietly, “No, you’re not.”

In his anger and attempt to move farther away from Sandy, his pace quickened. The scholar wasn’t looking at the rubble in front of him and ended up bashing his ankle against a rock. He tripped and hissed as a spike of pain shot through him. He held his ankle. “Ow, ow, ow fuckkkk….” Sandy kneeled beside him and extended a hand. “Don’t touch me!”

“I’m trying to help. Let me see it?” “I don’t need your help! I’ve never needed it!”

Sandy frowned and Tang could swear he heard a sniffle. “Okay… I’m sorry.” Water welled up in the demon’s eyes and Tang immediately regretted his words. “No… wait… I do need your help. I’m sorry for saying that. I didn’t mean it.” The fish swiped the tears away. “It’s fine, Tang. Okay… on a scale of one to ten, how much does it hurt?”

“A… four, maybe? I think I might’ve sprained it.”

“Alright. Can you roll up your pants a little? We have to make sure you’re not bleeding.”

“Sure.” Tang followed his instructions and there was thankfully none.

“Alright. It’s only a sprained ankle. I can carry you.”

“Carry me?” He squeaked. “No, no, no. You are not carrying me.”

“I understand you don’t like me, but you can’t exactly walk on a sprained ankle. It’ll make it worse, and we need to get out of here. So please, let me do this and after we leave, you can go back to hating me all you want.”

“I’m not the one who hates someone here… and okay. After this, I can go back to being mad at you.”

“Thank you. Not the mad part but thank you for allowing me to carry you.” He picked up the scholar with ease. The human’s cheeks flushed a rosy red. He raised his scarf to hide his blush.

“Thank you…”

“You’re welcome. Come on. We have to reunite with the others.”

“Of- of course.”

——

Bai Longma, Xiaojiao and Pigsy battled with Goliath. Xiaojiao used her sword to cut his side. Goliath hissed in pain and attempted to swipe at Xiaojiao.

Longma curled around the spider’s bicep in his small dragon form to restrain him.

Goliath used his free arm to strike Longma. Pigsy flipped and kicked him in the chest then Xiaojiao left a slice on his arm.

Blood trickled down his torso and arm. “I’ll be back,” he declared and skittered away.

Longma transformed to normal. “Are you okay, grandpa?”

“I’ll be fine, Xiaojiao.”

Pigsy, with hands on his hips, said, “I hope the others aren’t in danger.”

“My brothers are perfectly capable of defending themselves. I think…”

“I bet but I mean in danger of each other. Xiaotian and the Monkey King aren’t exactly buddies at the moment. And Tang is pissed at Sandy.”

“Wow, I wonder why your son and my brother aren’t buddies.” He let out a fake gasp of surprise.

“You don’t have to be a dick. We know we screwed up.”

“That’s rich coming from you! I don’t care if she did something to you or not! You do not get to treat my brother that way! Don’t act like you understand him or the rest of us. You have no idea what we’ve gone through.”

“I don’t. Okay? I don’t know what you’ve gone through. And I feel guilty for what I did to him. But I’m still pissed he did that to Xiaotian.”

“You have a right to be. My brother has done wrong but it’s our fault for that. For a long time, we made him believe he was only great if he kept it all in and did it by himself. We’re the reason he’s like that and we’re making efforts to improve our behavior everyday.”

“So am I. I can’t exactly forgive him for what he did but it was also the kid who chose not to tell us. I’m still kinda mad at both but I’m tryin’ to fix this.”

“I believe you but if you hurt my brothers, it will be a world of hurt for you. Got it?”

“Yes. I got it.”

Xiaojiao interrupted them, “We’ve all been wrong. Now we have a chance to work together!”

“You’re right about that, Xiaojiao. I hope the others are alright. Maybe we’ll see them at the end of this tunnel.”

Screams were heard and they rushed to the noise. Xiaotian and Sun Wukong stumbled and their butts landed on the floor. Xiaotian was clutching their side.

A green glow emitted from Xiaojiao. “Don’t you dare hurt my best friend!” And she attacked Syntax who screeched and screamed.

Pigsy pressed a hand against Xiaotian’s stomach. “Kid, are ya okay?”

“I’m fine, dadsy.”

Longma was at his brother’s side. “Big brother?”

“I’m fine, little dragon~.”

“I am a prince! Don’t call me that!” He looked at Xiaojiao’s attacks. “I have a very scary descendant. I’m happy with this.” “Of course you are.”

After Syntax retreated, Xiaojiao checked on Xiaotian. They led each other out, hoping they would see Sandy and Tang outside.

Sandy was carrying Tang in his arms. Pigsy shot the human a smug expression. “Hey, lovebirds. Did ya two decide to finally tie the knot in there?”

Tang gave an exasperated, “WHAT? What makes you say that?” The pig motioned to the way he was being held. “He is only carrying me like this because I sprained my ankle!”

“Likely story.”

“Quiet, Pigsy!”

“Never, freeloader!”

Disturbing the conversation, Sandy stated, “I’ll fix the ship. We should get you some ice, Tang. I’ll carry you there.”

“I can walk.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you.”

“That is something I do not want but fineee.”

It wasn’t easy to fix the ship but it wasn’t difficult either. The fact that Sandy had help from his brothers and the spiders had mysteriously left them alone caused the process to go much faster.

The engines started and they were back up.

The possessed spiders and a certain shadow monkey crawled out of their hiding places. They bowed as an illusion of the spirit materialized. “Report.” Macaque informed her, “We have yet to capture them but we did manage to injure them on some level. The others were somewhat injured during the process.”

The White Bone Spirit hummed. “As much as it would be easy to sacrifice you all, it would be easier for me to keep you around.”

“Mistress, when will we be able to get revenge on my brother?”

“Soon when you grab them but in the meantime, there are some things about that scholar I want to figure out. And it will be so enjoyable toying with them.” She glanced at the ship with a smirk.

Inside the transportation, Sun Wukong gathered them around the kitchen. “I have something to say. The last few weeks have been tough on all of us especially me. I know my actions weren’t ideal. I shouldn’t have left the kid and I can never apologize enough for it. But you all hurt me even if it wasn’t you completely. I felt so isolated. I was hurt, attacked. And I can’t let it go. I can’t forgive it so easily. I talked with the kid and we agreed we can’t forgive each other yet but in time, we will. Same applies to you. There was an equal amount of hurt and we need to build up our trust.”

Xiaojiao, Pigsy and Tang bobbed their heads from their spots. “We get it,” Pigsy replied. “And I’ll admit I’m a little angry that you kept this from the kid but we didn’t handle this whole thing in the best way. I’ll try to talk to ya instead of screamin’ from now on. And I still feel guilty for this.”

The dragon girl agreed, “Us too.”

Tang stated, “We have a lot to learn from each other and we’ll attempt to be better. Together.”

Xiaotian shook hands with Monkey King again. “Time to be better. We should give the Monkey King a break before we decide our next move.”

“We should all have a break. See you, bud.”

Xiaotian grinned. “See you.”

Pigsy wrapped an arm around Tang’s shoulder and walked out of the room.

After the others left, Sun Wukong turned to his brothers. There was a serious look in his eye. “I think it’s time we talk about Bajie and master.”

[rrandomtthings]

Bakugou Katsuki and his development throughout the series (Part 1 of 2)

His fall

Note: none of this is excusing things Bakugou has done in the past. He was completely in the wrong for that. Explanations ≠ Justifications.

There will be no manga spoilers in this part, but in part 2 there will be!!

Part two link: (will be added)

Bakugou Katsuki is a very hit or miss kind of character. He is brash, loud, and everything in between. If that is not your type of character, then the chances of you liking him are very low. Hence why his character has been deemed as very controversial.

Not to mention, Bakugou was a bully.

The first scene of the series starts with younger Bakugou bullying a kid with younger Midoriya Izuku, his childhood friend, protecting said kid. This is the first impression that we are given of not only Bakugou as a character, but as society as whole.

People are not created equal

As we continue through the beginning of the series, we find out that Bakugou was a huge bully, especially towards Izuku. With the two being childhood friends, they were really close when they were younger, as they were shown to hang out relatively often.

However, as soon as Bakugou got his quirk things changed for the worse.

It’s important to recognize what quirks mean to hero society. The better your quirk is, the more you’re looked up to. The worse your quirk is, the more you’re looked down upon. This is something that has been ingrained in children at the young age of 4, when they receive said quirks.

Bakugou was born with the jackpot quirk of Explosions while Izuku was born with nothing.

From the young age of 4, your place in society has already been drilled in.

Continuing on from when they were just children, Bakugou already having his quirk and Deku still not knowing what his is (at this point Izuku didn’t get himself checked out), the two head to a lake with their friends. Bakugou, having the best quirk out of all of them and being the “leader” as they walk on a log and he falls off and into the river underneath them, his friends watching as he falls in the water, expecting him to get up all on his own because of the power he holds.

All except one.

In this moment, because of societal standards, Bakugou was expected (even by himself) to be able to get up on his own after that fall. Seeing someone like Izuku, who he calls “Deku,” which to him literally means “worthless,” who is seen as weak and not-powerful by societal standpoints wanting to help someone as powerful as Katsuki, it made Bakugou feel like Deku was looking down on him.

He refused Dekus hand, he refused Dekus friendship. He didn’t like that this “attitude” that Izuku had that Katsuki was so unfamiliar with.

As years go on we are not informed about how consistent Katsukis bullying was towards Izuku. We can only assume that it was something that was somewhat common, however that is only an assumption. This is not canon.

One day, Izuku gets outed out by his teacher about wanting to attend UA. This being Katsukis dream school, it’s interesting to note that while everyone in class was laughing at Izuku, Bakugou was not.

Almost as if he considered Deku, “a quirkless nobody,” a threat.

However, he took that threat and turned it around and bullied Izuku for it, leading to the infamous “swan dive” scene where Bakugou tells Izuku to khs.

This is arguably the worst, if not one of the worst things that have been shown that Katsuki has done. As mentioned at the top of this post, there is no justification for this. Bakugou was completely in the wrong. Just because he felt threatened does not in any way shape or form excuse the way he treated Izuku, especially in this scene.

Then, the sludge villain attack happens.

Here, Bakugou is shown to be in a vulnerable state as he is being consumed by the sludge villain. After Izuku comes in and save him, it is said that Katsuki had’nt bullied him since.

Now Bakugou is in UA. He was used to being the highest of the food chain. Being at the top of everyone so easily. However, when he entered UA, reality hit him like a ton of bricks after realizing that he is not special.

Starting off with one of the most prominent fights, Deku vs Kacchan (1).

The teams are Deku & Ochako (the heroes) vs Iida and Bakugou (the villains) as they fight with each other with their own respective tasks.

Throughout the fight however, even though they were in teams, it was mainly Deku vs Kacchan (as the title suggests.)

In this fight, we see Bakugou at a bit of a breaking point. He practically panics as he comes to a realization that this kid infront of him who he thought always looked down on him could possibly be on the same level as him. To him, the “worthless Deku” was starting to shine through and past the negative connotations of that name.

After he aimed his quirk towards Izuku (NOTE: in this scene he did not try and kill Izuku. He even states that he purposely aimed away so it wouldn’t harm him. However, this is still not an excuse) and saw that Izuku did and could take him after he had one, Bakugou went into full panic mode.

Note: it’s also important to recognize that he showed fear for Deku. He was scared to see how far he was willing to go.

Later on, we are shown Deku spilling the beans to Katsuki about his quirk, to which Bakugou does not believe and continues to claim that he is and will be stronger than him as he walks off, completely vulnerable and with teary eyes.

The next time we are shown Katsuki in a vulnerable state, it’s at the sports festival.

After his fight with Uraraka, who he claimed to be a worthy opponent (wooo some sort of development!!), he immediately put the blame on Deku, thinking that he was the reason why she had such a great plan (aaaaand there that development goes) to which Izuku replies with him not being involved in the plan.

Then, he has his fight with Todoroki to which he starts getting mad about as Shouto was not using his full power on him. Bakugou wants to be shown that he was best with Todoroki using his full power, so he felt like he was being looked down upon and seen as weak in his eyes.

They had to chain him up because he was so furious about the fight, this fight only adding to his very prevelent inferiority and superiority complex.

The sports festival ends and they all go off into internships and Bakugou has chosen to go with Best Jeanist. Here, he grows to respect Best Jeanist, even going as far as to making sure that he is the first one to hear his hero name when he comes up with one.

Now after they come back from their internships, the students are tasked with fighting one of the teachers with a partner not of their choice.

Katsuki and Izuku were paired together.

At first, this was hard. Bakugou was not interacting with Izuku. He wanted to do things his own way, even going as far as to say that he would rather lose than work with Deku. To which led to Izuku punching him to snap him out of it.

Bakugou eventually let up and attempted to start working with Izuku. He even goes as far as using himself as bait so Deku can turn around and win for them (however, Izuku being himself didn’t leave Katsuki behind).

They both beat All Might bc Katsuki had pushed away his pride and finally allowed for them to start working together.

This was arguably Katsukis lowest point in the series. He was so full of distrust, non-compliance, and just,, wanting to stay away from Izuku that he was willing to lose this fight. The same guy who always wants to win was okay with losing.

Then all of class 1A goes to the training camp and it’s being attacked.

Their target? It was Bakugou.

Izuku and others desperately try and protect Bakugou as they try and take him as far away from the attack as possible to avoid any mishap.

However, they failed and Bakugou was taken.

In the moment as Bakugou was taken, we see him show genuine concern for Deku as he runs for him, telling him not to come after him at that moment.

Dekus scream after this scene in the anime will never not make me teary eyed,,

While held in captivity, it was revealed that he was kidnapped because the villains thought that they could turn him over to their side after seeing how upset and unfairly treated he was at the sports festival. However, Bakugou confirms to the viewers that he has no villainous intentions whatsoever.

After he was kidnapped, there was a rescue team created by some of the students so they can get him back.

As they created a last minute plan, they devised a strategy to which they would use their quirks and Kirishima would be the one to reach out and grab onto Bakugou and save him, to which they go through with and succeed in.

This, as revealed by Horikoshi, is a very bittersweet scene. It shows that Bakugou was starting to trust and become friends with others. However, it also showed his stubbornness in knowing that if it were Izukus hand being reached out then he might have not taken it.

After they get out of the spot they were in, they find that All Might was currently fighting AFO and it was being live broadcasted. After AFO, and ultimately, All Mights defeat, All Might sends a message “to the world”(it’s directed at Izuku) saying that “you’re next.”

Bakugou looks over to Izuku, confusion and concern on his face, seeing as he is the only one crying in a sea of cheering people.

Once they get back to UA and time has passed, Bakugou starts doing smaller things to show his appreciation (i.e. trying to pay Kirishima back, etc.)

After All Might and Aizawa come to his house to talk about dorming with his parents, Bakugou asks All Might his relationship with Izuku, to which he didn’t get the response we wanted and brushed it off as he thanked All Might for saving him.

At this point, the students are out to get their provisional license. Bakugou being bakugou failed in the saving part of the exam and failed to get his license.

After they get back, Bakugou confronts Deku and tells him that he wants to meet with him outside. Deku complies as Bakugou takes him to where they first fought, at ground beta.

This fight is full of emotions. With years of anguish and confusion from Bakugou, trying to understand why and how Izuku was slowly rising up to his level. How he feels guilty for being the one to “end All Might.”

Years upon years of emotions are being fought out as Bakugou tries to seek some sort of comfort and understanding about everything that had just recently happened.

Izuku was the only one in Bakugous eyes to be able to accept and understand his feelings.

After they fight out for a little while and get pulled apart by All Might, the secret about OFA is officially revealed to Bakugou.

When asked to keep this a secret, Bakugou claims that he’s not doing it for All Mights sake (hmmm,, Dekus 👀) and goes as far as to encourage Deku to be better so they could be proper rivals.

Bakugou looks over to Deku and tells him that things will be different between the two. That Katsuki will change and accommodate for this new knowledge that he has.

This is the start is his rising.

[end of part 1]

[modern-inheritance]

I don’t really know where I’m going with this but do you have any Oromis/Morzan headcanons? Before or during the fall, or Oromis’ feelings towards Morzan afterwards?

I have a few! More than a few apparently, I'm just finishing this up and uh...yeah that got longer than I thought!

I’m going to do my best to leave Glaedr and Morzan’s dragon out of these because while they’re large parts of each other's lives and even maybe personalities considering how deeply bonded Riders and their dragons can be, I want to be sure I’m keeping the characters separate. Kinda like how you shouldn’t constantly group identical twins together as a single entity, ya know?

Alright let's start off with Morzan. Time for some backstory!

Modern Inheritance!Morzan

Morzan was born into a family of low level nobles. By the time Morzan was about six or seven though, the family had fallen out of favor and was struggling to keep up appearances, spending money they didn’t necessarily have on lavish items and acting increasingly narcissistic in a desperate attempt to hold onto the standing and power they once had.

Morzan probably started showing antisocial behavior around this time, mainly impulsive petty theft, inserting himself in dangerous situations, and manipulation through charm with adults and intimidation and violence with other children. Due to his family’s last shreds of political strength and their long time in the area, most of these incidents were swept under the rug or outright ignored by his family. This generally left a very angry, disgusted-with-others, burgeoning narcissistic young Morzan to his own devices.

When Morzan was chosen by his dragon, his parents were quietly glad that he wouldn’t be their responsibility anymore. They didn’t disclose any of his troubling behaviors and Morzan was quick to understand that he would need to tamp the more obvious ones down and manipulate others into hiding his transgressions.

Despite all this, Morzan and his dragon do deeply care for each other. Due to Morzan’s mind linking with the hatchling, there was a sort of evening out of his behaviors as some were ‘shared’ do the hatchling and some of the hatchling’s personality was ‘shared’ with Morzan. This is what helped Morzan fly under the radar for so much longer until his eventual betrayal.

On a lighter note, Morzan shot up like a weed when he hit puberty, once growing nearly five inches (~12.7 cm) over the span of a year. It took a year or so for his muscles to visibly bulk up, so he was this tall gangly teenager for a while. His clothes constantly needed altering.

Initially Morzan doesn’t really know what to think of Oromis and Glaedr. His family was always distracted from giving him the attention and nurturing he needed, and suddenly he has not only this baby dragon who he can share his frustrations and emotions with but also parental figures.

Eventually he warmed up to them, but more in the sense that he became attached to their attention and the praise he got when he did well in magic and other lessons. He didn’t showboat as much, but would push himself to get more compliments, praise and attention from Oromis. Oromis saw this more as Morzan taking his training seriously. There were a few instances of Morzan and his dragon being pointed out as instigators of some scuffles or small acts of possible, unproven acts of sabotage harming or tripping up other Riders-in-training, but these were generally believed to be accidents or bad luck.

Morzan’s bullying and belittling of Brom was the result of Morzan feeling like his unfettered access to Oromis and Glaedr’s attention was being threatened. He knew he couldn’t get away with physically injuring Brom and Saphira I, so his physical actions never really went past ‘accidental’ full force hits in sparring and roughhousing. If Brom got praise or compliments from Oromis, Morzan would seethe quietly, eventually exploding in rage at some later point after it built up. Again, Oromis merely thought this was just adolescent growing pains.

Wooo! That is getting LONG, eh? I’ve got more, but for now I’m going to move on to Oromis and his feelings around Morzan’s betrayal and link you to whatever extra stuff I add later. I’m really unsure about the timeline of when Morzan betrayed the Riders and when it was known that he had, so I’m mostly going to skip that chunk. Let's go!

Modern Inheritance!Oromis

Even without 100% knowing/being sure of Morzan’s betrayal, I think there was a whirlwind of confusion and general chaos when Galbatorix murdered Shurikan’s original Rider. Who was a child. A Rider had murdered a child Rider and while everyone knew Galbatorix was unstable I don’t think anyone would have expected that. Oromis was swept up in all this and didn’t have time to really ask where Morzan was. I mean, Morzan was a grown man at that point and well beyond Oromis’s control.

Morzan’s involvement was probably confirmed without a doubt at the initial attack on Ilirea, and Oromis and Glaedr didn’t have time to process this until after their brief capture.

Oromis felt some really strong guilt. That’s putting it bluntly.  Let’s expand it, shall we?

First off, I think Oromis felt some guilt over not being able to help in the sort of final big battle at Ilirea. He was previously quite powerful since he was on the council that refused Galbatorix a new dragon (that’s a whole other topic to look at later on btw), and despite his age and wisdom I think it’s safe to assume that any sudden event causing massive life changes can be pretty shocking. Oromis felt powerless and after the deaths that occured in Galbatorix’s initial attack with the Forsworn on the Riders, I think he knew that there would be more. And all he and Glaedr could do was hide in Ellesméra and tend to their wounds and new maladies.

As they healed I’m pretty sure Oromis spent a lot of time thinking ‘how could I have stopped this?’ Hindsight is...well, whatever-elves-have/20, and Oromis would have put all the signs together that were telling him that there was something off about Morzan from the start. He probably thought subconsciously that he was fixing Morzan and didn’t want to acknowledge just how dangerous that little 10 year old boy and scrawny hatchling he had met all those years ago had become as he grew. There was also a lot of guilt post-Ilirea’s final fall around not protecting Brom from Morzan enough, and feeling like a lot of Brom’s pain was Oromis’s own fault because of this.

Oh man, Oromis also has heaps of survivors guilt about the Riders that, while he does work through it and focuses on extending his life to train the next Rider, never really fades completely. He understands that he could not fight in his condition, but there’s always the nagging ‘what if’ questions that can rear up unexpectedly.

Once he learns of Murtagh and Thorn and their forced fealty to Galbatorix, I think Oromis’s guilt probably pushed him over to definitely join the fight at Gil’ead. It’s likely that he feels that if he had separated Brom and Morzan, had taken the signs of Morzan’s growing antisocial disorder seriously and gotten him proper help, and hadn’t been so blind during the Golden Age, then in some strange way he may have prevented everything from happening. Morzan wouldn’t have let Galbatorix into Ilirea, Shruikan wouldn’t have been stolen, the Forsworn wouldn’t have been influenced by Galbatorix and Morzan (who used his manipulative charm to sway some), and it all comes to, in the end, Murtagh and Thorn, both relatively innocent in this and dragged in only due to parentage and some situations which they have no control over, would have never been forced through torture and cruelty to join Galbatorix and fight people they once saw as friends and family.

Overall I think Oromis, while having processed/processing and come to terms with the Riders Fall and the hand he inadvertently had in it due to his connection to and, in some ways, his failures surrounding Morzan, he still carries this deep feeling of guilt. He doesn’t let it simply sit there though, as he pushes himself to be able to train the next generation, but it’s always there.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH okay that’s what I’ve got for now. Holy shit that’s a lot of bulletpoints, huh? 

I spent some time researching antisocial behavior and Antisocial Personality Disorder, but per usual I want to state that I am by no means an expert, and the behaviors and traits portrayed here are not the only results, symptoms, or scenarios that can occur when someone has antisocial behavior or ASPD. Mental health is a difficult subject to write about, especially when I have no personal or second hand experience with the specifics, and I’m always open to educating myself on these topics. I am doing my best to learn so that I don’t stereotype or offend. If there are comments/concerns/critique please please don’t ever feel bad about messaging me privately, via the comments, via reblog, or through the ask box point out what I got wrong or if you simply want to share your experiences or concerns. 

I’ll probably have more Morzan specific backstory and ideas later on, but for now I need to make some dinner and get to work on the other ask. Cheers!

Thank you again to @siriusly-misunderstood-creatures​ for the ask! I always appreciate asks and comments, they make my brain work!!

[ehbunnehsblog]

A while back I made a post about things that scared me as a kid that was inspired by videos on YouTube about childhood trauma. Before we start I would just like to say that this is not about the childhood trauma that is very serious as a csa survivor I do not talk about that stuff here but I just want everyone to know that I support you and I believe in you and we will get through this together. With that said let's get on with the show. (Also heres the first post down below)

1. Video Killed the Radio Star by The Buggles

Okay this one may seem very ridiculous to some which is why its number one but yeah when I was a child I hated this song! I was so scared of it! Lol I think the reason was because it said video killed the radio star and something about the music and singing just spooped me either way it was very strange.

2. Koolaid Killer

This was a short video series by Dane Boe the guy who is probably the most famous for creating the Annoying Orange. Actually a while back I was searching for these videos and I never realized how many other Dane Boe videos I watched aside from Annoying Orange and that these videos really weren't too scary. I never really watched Kool Aid Killer but I remember one day at my elementary school someone was watching the videos and I thought they were pretty scary but when I look back at these videos they didn't seem very real like they did before I mean the blood splatter etc it all looks so fake cause it is lol. But if you haven't I suggest Dane Boe's videos some of you may have forgot about them like me.

3. Takethislollipop

Takethislollipop just like the above video came out when I was in elementary school and was really creepy. Honestly it might just be one of the creepiest on this list. Take this lollipop was an interactive 2011 game and short horror film that would take info from a persons facebook page and it would show this guy hunting the person down. As a kid I didn't really know about interactive online games like this so when this came out it felt really real and even though it wasn't too scary to me it did make me question things about social media a bit. In 2020 it came back but instead it was a zoom call and used deep fakes.

4. Banana Phone

Ringringringringring banana phone🎵🎶 this is a classic imo. This shiz scared me again I think it was just because it was about death just like the first one sadly it was the ridiculous songs I guess little me really just hated songs that were ridiculous and sang about death lol

5. The Piano in Mario 64

Idk how this scared me and the eel didn't but I just really hated how this dang thing would make noise and come at you.

6. Furbies

I know there is a big thing with furbies and I just want to say I am not scared of furbies as bad now it was really just the older ones I didn't like how they stared into my soul I just really disliked anything the moved and made noise as a kid idk why it's like how some have a fear about animatronics I still have iffyness around things like this but not as bad as I did as a child. It's just that whenever there is something that has big glass looking eyes it spooks me a bit lol also I think long furbies look cool and they are bigger than a regular furby lol!

(Because I couldn't find a gif of a furby you get this gif instead)

7. Happy Tree Friends

Happy Tree Friends is about animated woodland creatures going ape shit and killing each other and themselves nuff said. I hate the song, the violence did and still scares me so it deserves to be near the top of this list. I swear I remember my sister watching this and i think we both couldn't stand it. I will say I am surprised how long it ran for it ran from 1999-2005 in picture format, 2007-2009 in 480p and 1080p to 2009-2016 it ran until December 24th 1999 to December 22nd 2016.

(Since it was violent I will not be showing gifs or videos about it)

8. Backwords songs

I think this scared me because it was unnatural but when I got to middle school I thought it was neat. (I chose a video by Roomie that talks about this topic)

9. Rubber Johnny

Left best for last and one that may have scared me the most. Rubber Johnny is a 2005 expiremental short film and music video that was written and directed by Chris Cunningham, the music was composed by Aphex Twins. In this video Johnny is seen in a wheelchair making noises and just loses absolute control. If you are young this video shows a condom, it sounds like it shows a penis and Johnny snorting a line of coc@ine I haven't seen this video since I was a child and I think imma wait till I see my boyfriend again or when it's the morning to watch this because its currently night time but for anyone who wants to check this video out heres a link below.

Wooo! We made it through the list I really hope you guys liked this one I worked hard on this and i was having a bit of a difficult time trying to find more that scared me. So I ask you guys, what scared you when you were young and why?

☆With all that said I hope you liked this post. Please follow I make a lot of posts that are about nostalgia like this☆

[cosmictulips]

I've got no problem with you posting the reading, and as for any other oracles decks, I'm perfectly fine with just the botanical one. Once again, and I can not stress it enough, tysm for your time especially considering all the reading requests you get 😊❤

weee woooo weee wooo

Tipped Reading alert lol. 

gorl this thing is like 8 pages long.  so if you want a copy of your own I’ll be pasting a link here and it’ll be free for you to download for the next... idk 72 hours I guess xD 

You’ve read the disclaimer hopefully when tipping so like, I’ll just jump right into the reading. and here’s the link in case you want a pdf or something of it and hopefully it’s easier to read xD  lemme know if that link doesn’t work xD

In your reading the numbers 2,3,5 , 6 and 8  kept showing up in your reading the most.  So let’s talk about it.   Think of these numbers as energies.  These will be or are currently prominent in your life and in the ares you are asking for.  

So the number two represents cooperation, always aiming to bring peace and balance back to a relationship or situation.  It is partnerships -- the coming together or balancing of two or more people, concepts, or things. While it holds great power over any situation, it wields diplomacy and tact that the result is not control and authority, but harmony and teamwork. 

And then we have the number Three.  It is about positivity, communication. It goes hand and hand with the number two if you think about it lol. It is about creativity and balance.  This will help you get the ideas you need, and help you communicate them in any situation and to any person. We also have five and six. Which are the numbers of freedom,  being able to choose, and unconditional love.  These two numbers are unafraid of the world around them.  They seek connection with loved ones, and adventures.  They are ready for what lies ahead of them.  Much like two and three, they work extremely well together.  

Lastly we have eight. The number of achievements.  This is your sign that what you and your team and your loved ones put forth,  comes back to you in rewards.  Like I say in the reading, the universe hears you and sees your struggles and this is telling you that you are close to your achievements.  You must keep working for them.  You will build solid foundations with people and with what you want.  You will be able to connect, communicate and reach that goal.  You got this ;) but it’s not going to come without it’s strife and struggles.

Relationship Reading.

For your relationship, I asked what was coming forward to you both in the future and I pulled: Nine of Wands, Judgement, The World, The Moon,  four of swords, Two of cups, Eight of Cups, 6 of swords in reverse, seven of swords 

For the Oracles I drew  Night Light,  Sage, Castor Bean, Mandrake, Usnea and the Veiled Lady 

So let’s begin with the Tarot.   Nine of wands starts us off and this tells me that you two have probably been going through some stuff.  Whether through the relationship or just outside life things,  you both are pretty tired lol.  Which is fair given what has been happening in the world.  This is a message of positive growth though.  This is saying you two are so close to the finish line and to keep pushing.  There’s a lot of responsibilities that are being thrown at you but after this card comes the 10 of wands.  A lot of work sure,  but this story is about people who triumph over the pain and that heavy burden. 

We then have Judgement, the World, and the Moon.  A cycle is ending here.  Something is coming to its completion. And you two are awakening to that.  To a new idea of sorts,  to the idea that something doesn’t last forever.  I can also see this as an awakening to a better emotional connection here.  Between yourselves, the world around you and within your own body.   This does tell me and confirm to me that you both have you know, been pushing lol.  And it’s a lot of work but you two are growing.  As a couple,  as individuals and where you fit in the cosmic plane. The universe is hearing you and giving you divine guidance by connecting to each other and within yourselves. 

It seems like the rest of these cards is advice.  We have the four of swords,  6 of swords in reverse,  seven of swords, 2 and 8 of cups.  So the two of cups straight up is people offering their love.  It could be between the two of you,  it could be your support group, it could be your higher selves wanting to connect with you more.  Either way, there’s a new foundation for love that is coming in for you two.   The Eight of cups is about walking away from something.   Which I’ll come back to because before I get to that let’s talk about the six and seven of swords here.   Six of swords, generally means you are leaving something behind.  It’s kind of like the 8 of cups, but think of this as on the mental plane.  The eight of cups is the emotional one,  and the 6 of swords is the mental.  Our thought process, issues we can’t let go of, stuff like that.  And so,  when I see these two cards together,  this is telling me,  that someone is holding onto something that is no longer serving them.  There’s a baggage,  a feeling, a thought that you can’t let go of.  Like it seems like you have an emotional tie to it which is probably why the 8 of cups is hear.  

So here’s what I’m thinking.  There’s pain somewhere.  And you’re deceiving yourself -or the other person or you both-  into thinking it’s not causing you emotional pain.  You’ve detached yourself from it emotionally so now all you have left is this thought.  This memory,  this.. Distant emotional attachment that someone has to deal with.  And that’s probably why we have all these major arcana.  This is a process of you, them or you both,  going through this six of swords.  This wound you have detached yourselves,  and walking away from it once and for all.  Step out of the seven of swords.  This card tells me that yea, you kind of want to face it but as quickly as possible.  You want to sneak around the true meaning of it so you can finally go back to the two of cups and the Moon.  

The advice here though,  is the four of swords.  Judgement takes time.  Connecting to the Moon, takes time.  This seems like something that has really caused you guys some strife -9 of wands-  and it’s finally tiring you both out to the point where the four of swords is like,  hey really sit down and breathe lol.  I see that if you two can, or whoever it is,  can work through this,  you know it’s not going to suddenly go away but it’s really going to open doors for you two to come together and to connect back with yourself emotionally. 

So  now, let’s talk about your Oracles.

 I always like to start with the Mushrooms LOL I think mushrooms are so cool.  You got two for this one.  You got the Veiled Lady and the Night Light -which is probably my favorite because it fucking glows-.  The biggest meaning to mushrooms in general is change and capability.  Night Light is represented by the number 2.  Coincidentally -maybe ;) - number two is associated with the moon and emotions.   So this tells me, much like the tarot cards you, or the both of you, or them,  is going to go through a deeper emotional connection.  Because you also have the moon,  and we talked about the cups and the swords.  This mushroom is here to remind you of light within the darkness.  It’s okay to feel lost,  just know you are guided.  You will find your light again.   Then we have the Veiled Lady.  she is represented by the number 8.  This talks about balance and harmony, and even this mushroom itself talks about beauty and harmony. A lot of cultures view this mushroom as a sacred symbol and the fact that it looks like it’s wearing… well a veil of some sort.  This tells me a couple of things.  There is control here,  there is beauty in your relationship and in your future.  You two work well together.  And this could even be seen as you two unveiling yourselves to the universe and forming a deeper connection. 

I want to get the “Scary” plants out of the way so lets talk about the poisons that showed up.  Poisons here represent potential.  So it’s really not that scary lol.  Mandrake and castor bean.  It’s interesting that castor bean showed up because the oil itself when processed isn’t toxic but when it’s not, and it’s in its natural state, it is.   I feel like this really ties into what I was saying back in the tarot.  There’s something one of you, or both of you have detached yourself from.  There’s still a connection to it, that hasn’t been processed yet.  Someone wants it merely to be pushed away but it’s still tethered to the emotional realm by that 8 of cups.  This poison is also represented by the number two for it’s duality. 

Then we have mandrake which is represented by the number six as well in its suit.  The mandrake symbolism is of infamy, legends and myths.   Perhaps there’s something that lives in someone or the both of you, i don’t know ;),   that… has almost taken on this role of infamy.  Right,  it’s been so long that brining it up now might lead to some uh… whiplash so to speak.  I can’t really describe it other than a story so maybe you’ll understand what I’m meaning.  So when I was growing up I was always afraid to speak up.  And this lasted up until a few years ago.  Everytime I did I was always fought on it.  I was lead to believe that me talking about my feelings just made me seem like a dramatic asshole and that no one ever cared to listen to me.  See where I’m going with this?  It’s that myth that I was led to believe that made me never want to face what was bothering me.  But by facing my “mandrake”  so to speak,  I was able to start the healing process.  

So then we got Medicines and Herbs.  For Medicine we have Usnea which is represented by the number six in its suit.  For Herbs we have Sage which is represented by the number ten.  So lets start with herbs.  Herbs in this deck represent encouragement and support.  And you have the best one of all, SAGE!  Well, maybe not the best one I’m a bit biased lol -see my username xD-.  But sage is represented by 10 which is the universal number for completion and cycles.  Some say it’s the number that helps you connect to the universe.  And I mean, sage is what we use to cleanse -if you use… sage… I use… white candles anyway-  and this talks about wisdom and experience.  You both have grown and are growing through this experience.  It has its ups and downs but sage wants you to know that you will come through with this =) it’s going to be okay. 

Then we have medicines.  Medicines here represent protection and healing.  As… they should lol.  For your medicine card we have Usnea.  This is also represented by six in its suit lol.  And this is all about purity and breathing.  Much like the four of swords this card is telling you to relax.  To take a breather and really rest your bodies.  You are doing the best that you both can and with time, the answers will come to you.  You have put so much work in and you guys are so close to the finish line. 

Gaming Company Ask

For that I drew the: Three of Pentacles, King of Wands, the Sun, Eight of Swords,  Five of Cups, Page of cups and We also got the Wheel of Fortune. 

For Oracles I drew the: Seedling -the unknown-,   Lemongrass, Common sundew, Cobra Lily, Wild Sage, Echinacea

So now let’s talk about the gaming ask.  I think I read your question right xD you want to develop games and start a company of some sorts right? xD  so overall this is a positive reading.  I see this working out for you guys and really having the opportunity to grow the business.  It is not without it’s trials though.  So let’s get into it with the three of pentacles.    The three of pentacles is collaboration.  So whoever -I think you mentioned someone else too-  you work with on this endevoar I 10/10 recommend and so wouldn’t the universe.  It’s going to be this collaboration that’s really going to help you guys propel this thing forward.  I see you all being represented by the King of Wands.  So people who are leaders, innovators. I really see this with the person you guys want to work with.  This is a type of person who is really going to go at it with a 100 percent.  Like this person is dedicated. And that’s fantastic because we also have the sun.  the sun, and the king of wands??? Talk about a dynamic duo lol.  We got all the perks of being a good leader,  plus the confidence of a god lol.   They really are going to put their heart and soul into this.  They are proud of this lol. 

Then we have the problematic cards ;) five of cups and eight of swords.  These two cards talk about fears.  In a business sense,  these two cards talk about fears of leaving a job -because you know as you develop this business idea yall are going to need money-  and thinking that this is going to wind up getting you nowhere.  Like,  there’s almost a fear here that you aren’t going to be successful and that you can’t juggle all of lifes challenges and that you’re going to lose your job.  You know, typical job things lol.   I also really, strongly heard “not being heard”  so be careful of that.  Make sure all of you are being heard when talking and working things out.  Things aren’t going to go well if none of you are on the same page. 

Then we got the page of cups and wheel of fortune.  If you ever need a sign that something is going to be done well and successfully.  This is it lol. This is the “Hell yea!”  card when asking for a yes or no from the universe lol.  This is happy endings, fulfillment.  This is working hard and ending that cycle so you can finally enjoy the abundance you worked for.  This is going to work out beautifully for all of you.   Just keep in mind what I  mentioned with the last two cards ;) obviously life isn’t without its bumps but y’all have a real good chance at making this work.  So I say go for it. 

So let’s talk about your cards =D this will be more straightforward since you know about the general gist of what each suit represents.  Oh just kidding we have a new addition and that’s carnivorous plants.  These cards represent evolution and opportunity so don’t fear them too much ;)  so we’ll start with those.  You have the Cobra Lily and the Common Sundew.  These numbers are three and five. So there’s a theme with these two about dependence and struggle.  Which I mean,  is kind of fair when you’re trying to get something off the ground and rolling.  Both these plants require help of some sort to eat their prey. And it’s okay to need help and to receive it.   Just be warned that this journey obviously isn’t going to be easy ;) struggle is going to happen but much like these plants, you will thrive.

Then we have medicines again! We have Echinacea and Wild sage which is represented by the number 8.  We got two very different meanings going on here.  With Wild Sage it is connecting to “the dark goddess” aka artemis. But I work with Artemis and I swear I’ve never heard someone call her that lol. Anyway,  this herb is about power, repulsion and darkness.  I think this is kind of a warning to not get too -or someone is going to-  over headed here.  It’s going to be easy to want to take the regions but it’s teamwork that’s going to get you guys where you need to be.  ANd Echinacea is actually a plant that used to be used for cold and flu symptoms.  Here it’s represented as encouragement and engagement.  So don’t be afraid to step up and have your voice be heard.  -on all sides lol-  keeping yourselves in a constant chat about what yall want and need, is really going to help you.

And then we have an Herb and a Seedling.  Lemongrass is your herb and it’s represented by the number 9. Nine’s is all about wisdom and responsibility. And another theme is forgiveness ;) so be ready to forgive here.  And be responsible with you have to do.  Lemongrass is a symbol of protection.  So do not be afraid of speaking up.  You are protected and people will want to listen to you.   Then we have what I dub “the unknown”  the seedling.  Such as a seedling, you are stepping into the unknown.  There’s an infinite number of possibilities here and I’m just telling you at max maybe like two or three things that could happen.  Ultimately it is your journey and theirs.  Your success is up to you, and so isn’t your failure.

I firmly believe that you guys will succeed so long as you work together and tough through challenges.  Much like life, there is a lot of unknowns.  But that’s truly the fun of it, ain’t it? ;) I hope this reading helps you and if you any more questions please let me know =D

[mi6-cafe]

We hope you had a lovely Max Relax May! And that you managed to get all the rest reading and voting on our LDWS, creating for the Weekly Art Prompt and celebrating the new MiniBang submissions. (Huh... seems like despite our best efforts to do nothing, you guys have been pretty busy. 😜😜 )

ATTENTION! ALL THIS LAZYING ABOUT IS COMING TO AN END! GET READY FOR

MONTHLY CHALLENGE: JUST CRAFTING JUNE

We want you to let your inner craftsperson soul loose. (Be gay. Do crafts.) Create things with your hands. Show us what you’re making! Share your progress! And tell us how you do the thing! We really want to know. In fact, we’d like to ask you to share links to tutorials on how to do the thing, even MAKE TUTORIALS YOURSELVES!

Oh and if you aren’t in a position to craft things (materials scarce, etc), write and art about our Bond characters doing crafts! (Just imagine M channeling her inner Judy Dench and embroidering rude cushions in her downtime. )

Tag it all #mi6cafechallenge and we will reblog.

LAST DRABBLE WRITER STANDING

Wooo! We’ve been getting the most excellent drabbles ( here and here and here for your viewing pleasure). Congratulations to our week 1, week 2 and week 3 winners :  @stormofsharpthings  @sorion @anyawen @soufflegirl91 @starrboned @azure7539arts @scarytheory!

We still have week 4 in front of us before we can announce THE ONE DRABBLE WRITER TO RULE THEM ALL. So don’t forget to come to VOTE ON THE FINALE!

Oh and by the way:

007 FEST SIGNUPS ARE NOW OPEN

The 007 Fest has been described by many words: “31 days of creative frenzy“ “the most fun I’ve had in my life” “the event that helped me make awesome fandom friends”, AND IT IS ALL THAT AND MORE.

Don’t believe us? In the upcoming weeks we’d like to ask past 007 Fest participants to share a post about what they enjoyed the most about the fest along with their favourite fest creations (of theirs or others) for us to reblog and rec. Tag #007 fest and @mi6-cafe too . 😁

For more information about the fest, read all about it >>HERE<<. Sign up >>HERE<<

Weekly Art Prompt

We’ve decided to offer more activities tailored specifically for our fandom artists and have been amazed by the response. Big thanks to Ksan (@starrboned-art , Instagram), Kira ( Instagram) and Nana ( @nana-41175 ) for giving us such wonderful art. (Can be appreciated here).

See here for more info on the #MI6CafeArtPrompt.

MI6 Cafe Book Club: Mondays and Wednesdays, 9PM EST

Join us on Mondays and Wednesdays in the Discord while we read the last few chapters of Ian Fleming’s Casino Royale. STARTING ON A NEW BOOK SOON. This is a fun chance to catch up with Bond fans while exploring the original Bond canon, and we’d love to see you there. Lurkers are welcome.

The LDWS Readalongs, Saturday and Sunday, 8AM UTC + Sundays 8PM EDT

Make sure you don’t miss our LDWS readalongs! They’ll be happening on the Saturday 6th and Sunday 7th !

Meet us on Discord in the #readalong voice and text channels and have fun listening to us read and discuss that weeks LDWS submissions!

Eastern Hemisphere: Saturday, Sunday at 8AM UTC (GMT)

Western Hemisphere: Sunday 8PM EDT

Writing Workshop: Smut 2.0, June 6th, 11AM EDT

A couple years ago, @roseforthethorns  hosted a popular workshop on how to write smut. Rose has very kindly agreed to do it again. Whether you are comfortable with writing smut and sex scenes or interested in learning, please join us for Smut 2.0, where Rose will discuss how graphic to make it, how to write it well, what to avoid, and more. 

Bring your questions and join us on June 6th, 11am eastern (other times zones here) in the #writers_corner of the 00Q Chat slack.

Write-in Day: June 13th & June 27th

Come join us in the fandom Slack as we write, sprint, plot, brainstorm, or cheerlead each other to productivity. Whether you’re working on Bond fic or an annoying class assignment, join us for a time of trying to get stuff done. Starts as soon as people get there and begin to be productive.

If you need an invite to slack, go ahead and message the Cafe Mods ( @castillon02 , @spiritofcamelot , @christinefromsherwood )

Regular Events

WIP Wednesday: You can post an excerpt of your WIP on our post or make your own post and tag it as #MI6CafeWIPWednesday. Either way it’s a fun way to show people what you’re working on, Bond fandom or otherwise.

Wednesday chat night: Join us in Slack at 8pm eastern to generally hang out and catch up with one another.

Sunday Discord Chat: Discord Chats have moved to Sundays at 6PM EST, Come join us to read fic, brainstorm fic ideas, or just hang out!

Supportive Sunday: Every Sunday we celebrate and rec excellent fics that haven’t got a lot of attention.

Calendars

Watch Party Calendar

MI6 Cafe Calendar  

If you need help adding these calendars to your personal one, check out this post.

[yievie]

whew! what’s up everyone! my name is crissy and yes, i am the clown who sent my account ask on anonymous last night. luv that for me! I GOT A COOL FAMILY ICON IM CRYING!!! now this is yi eun hye, better known as evelyn yi or evie, paging dr. sexy md don’t call her that though, she’ll kill you omg the second eldest princess of the four neglected korean princess sisters aka the mom friend sister or the buzzkill responsible sister. 

~`click anywhere here for a link to my app ~

under the cut i’m gonna throw some important personality and background stuff along with maybe? half-formed plot ideas? if not i’ll make a follow up post later, but pls like this plot if you wish to plot, i’ll try to come bother u. my ims are open hmu anytime (also bc im anxious af to b first message bc im BABY) and I ALSO have a discord located at quarantine queen#2918 where i’m usually v v v active. (lmk if u cant add me shoot me a message on here and ill fix it) ok imma shut up here is cranky daughter! ITS LONG SRRY

( pS: also if my blog is too hard to read just stick /mobile on the end of the url xx )

background 

the empress and emperor of korea had 5 kids, 4 daughters, 1 pampered son and evie was the second oldest daughter after dianna but like, she’s bossy and high strung and acts like the oldest anywayS so it doesn’t matter!

woo! however, korean tradition is rooted deeply in patriarchy and other backwards thinking,  >:(((( so evie’s parents basically pretended like their son was the only kid they had and sent evie and her 3 sisters off to swedish boarding school to ROT as they each turned 10 and forgot abt them while they groomed their son for the throne! thx mom n dad! luv u too! sdjlaksjd

during her time at boarding school evie was expected to not learn much of anything, not do anything spectacular, she wasn’t expected very good grades or to be smart or successful or anything bc that was Men’s Work and so evie did . . . THE EXACT OPPOSITE.

evie EXCELLED in school, straight a’s, top of her class, honors, ap valedictorian, which meant all nighters, nose bleeds at 2am from studying too hard, looking dead walking through the hallways, eating ramen 25/8, falling asleep w her face in her textbooks, getting bullied a lot for being a nerd and Not looking like her sisters and like...the creature from the black lagoon.

her parents, understandably, were not very happy with this but it wasn’t until she wanted to go to medical school that her parents were like FURIOUS. to them, women, esp the princesses, were only supposed to get married, have kids, THAT WAS IT. so evie wanting to be a doctor enraged them. STAY MAD!

they tried to have her engaged SO. MANY. TIMES. but she has a really repellent personality, she’s very kat stratford from 10 things i hate about you. and is rude and states her very liberal very socialist opinions often, dresses sloppy and hurts mens feelings a lot just for fun so they all went rUNNING from those match appointments! her parents literally are losing their minds they don’t know what to do w her theyre like god why did we give birth to the aNTICHRIST!?!?!?

not wanting anything to do with her parents, evie got into college and medical student on scholarship based on her own merit and skill. evie went to the seoul national university for 4 years then did a 2 year residency at the country’s top hospital, becoming one of the best on call heart surgeons there.

the korean media likes to clown on her A LOT! bc shes scary and angry and cares very little abt her appreance is A DOCTOR and not a princess really for the opposite reason they clown on dianna but evie does not really care she doesn’t care abt impressing people, just saving lives and proving people wrong. finger guns

but yes! thats what u missed on glee. evie was a heart surgeon in korea before being shipped off to thailand! shes v salty by the way ... even more than usual.

fun facts?

evie wears massive grandma glasses to see bc shes BLIND when shes in line with her sister people do not think she’s related and are like “OMG OMG THE PRINCESSES!!! BUY WHATEVER U WANT ON THE HOUSE I--oh? maam? uh? can we help u, ahjumma?” HELP

very dry, mean, will call you out on ur shit and hurt ur feelings probably. doesn’t really know how to Chill or have fun, stays out of drama and parties for the most part literally that old man that tells u to get off their lawn

LOVES HER SISTERS!!!! LOVES THEM!!! moms them and nags the FUCK out of them tho abt everything. wear a sweater its cold, drink water, dONT DO THAT GET DOWN FROM THERE, i told u to eat before u drank all that soju pabo!!!! skhaslkfh BUT SHE LOVES THEM VERY MUCH HER WOOOORLD the only people shes kind of nice to

as stated, has tried to been matched up before but has basically scared away all her matches by being A Lot and not polite or dainty and burping probably

her mom calls her all the time to talk abt how shes having a heart attack bc her second daughter is an unmarried, childless, spinster with a cat who is embarrassing her by being a doctor and being loud and obnoxious and outspoken against the royal heirarchy and right wing politics. evie just puts her on mute and lets her keeping yelling at no one for the next hour

loves beer, loves fried chicken, very unladylike, wears oversized sweaters and her hair messy and watches love island australia and the bachelor just to make fun of the people being in love and stupid i think secretly she kind of wants it but...thinks shes unlovable and will die before she says that shh

bisexual legend! cue mr and mrs yi screaming somewhere

not that it matters bc she cares little abt romance and sex and always put work and school before everything so everything touchy like that she either ends abruptly or stays the hell away from

never parties or goes out but when she does get really drunk gets very cute and touchy and happy there is one video on the internet of her like on a table ashdkh yikes 

is soft deep down just like *shrek voice* donkey, orges are like onions they have layers and u gotta get past a lot of them for her to get past her level 4 tragic backstory and into the soft, vulnerable part of her personality its nice i promise she is SQUISHY

weird plots???

best friend? im sure she has one somewhere. or friends at all? people who arent scared of her who shes nice to....mostly

enemies woo! hate her its very easy to hate her so do it

u want to do a daredevil thing like when matt shows up bleeding and dying or after a fight or something and she patches u up

just anyone need a doctor bc paging dr sexy md~

past loves? boyfriend? girlfriend? weird flings? weird tension unresolved stuff WOOO

ANYONE who broke her heart for the angst and drama

hit on her itll b funny

anyone who she was previously matched w who she scared off

someone shes currently trying to be matched or betrothed to GOOD LUCK

someone she has a crush on YIKES or vice versa

any of the college kids need a tutor? 

roommates? 

ANYTHING PLS HMU <333

[horanggae]

hi my beloved aera! ♡( ◡‿◡ )

I always go into your blog excitedly looking for your reply ♡

you surely remind me of hao! i always wanted to have an intelligent and artistic friend as him, and somehow i feel like I found one with you<3, and i hope you keep approaching life like you want to and appreciating everything that happens to u; you did not tell me i remind you of hoshi (╥﹏╥) oh my, this is the nicest compliment I have ever received, thank u for your sweet words (they made me blush).

hao’s dancing skills are surely on another level, right? your answer reminded me of this video and i think his style of dancing is really special and unique, i can feel a lot of feelings just from seeing him perform; mmm, it’s kinda difficult to me but if I had to choose only one it would be hoshi (your guesses were right!) I think he radiates too much energy every time he performs? seeing him dance makes me feel happiness and forget about everything else, he also makes it seems so easy and I just love how confident he always seems to be!! he surely dances like he knows way to well whats he’s doing (*¯ ³¯*)♡

oh! your description for home;run is so accurate!! and you also choose fallin’ flower, that mv is one of the prettiest kpop videos I have ever seen, it is surely one of my favorites too! <3 / oh my, i’m definitely searching for the meaning behind thanks choreography because I didn’t know that?? / ufff, those are great seungcheol’s eras!! I also find him way too cute on the talent gose!

so I did some research and I read a list of countries using gmt+8, so you’re either located somewhere in south asia or in australia! (and I got really excited because I thought you were located on north america or europe?? and your timezone really took me by surprise) I don’t want to take advantage and look into your profile because you have no clues on my side, so my time zone is gmt-5 hours!! oh, congrats on starting uni! for me, i’m almost finished (I also took a gap year three years ago to study mandarin and nowadays I just remember some words and greetings which makes me sad(｡•́︿•̀｡) may I ask why you took a gap year? maybe it was because of covid-19?)

aw, i’ll always believe in you! i’m sure you’ll do great on this semester!

I don’t know what to ask next ?? (It’s 3 am here) but I was following the # of the event and I realized we are on the third mission already (how???) and its really funny because this mission is about making a playlist to each other, I would love to make another one for you! so I’ll put the link to the post so you can check it out and tell me your opinion, (what playlist do u want to see me create?) on the meantime, I'll think about the one I want u to create ^^

bye bye my dear aera ＼(＾∀＾)メ(＾∀＾)ノ

–f. 🐯❤️

HELLO F🐯❤️!! Sorry for all the delays in answers! Uni's starting to pick up ㅠ ㅠ thank you for seeing the likeness of hao in me, I'll try to stick to his words of wisdom and better myself as a person (´ . .̫ . `)

YESSS I've seen that video before!! I was so happy pledis actually allowed solo development for the members! Hoshi is just full of VIBRATING POWER, his movements are so controlled and deliberate; it's really mesmerizing...

I didn't know about the choreography meaning for thanks either, it was until I saw a snippet of hoshi doing the hand sign(?) for thank you and their formation at a certain point in the dance + a carat commented the significance behind them!

im located in south asia!! lemme guess, is it chicago?? (you can tell to me when you reveal your identity to me!) You're so almost finished!!! MEANS YOU'RE CLOSE TO GRADUATION ALREADY!!!!! WOOO ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤᕤ mandarin is hard ㅠ ㅠ I can't even form a coherent sentence even though it's my mother tongue language (a big hint!), my dialect on the other is superb (๑•﹏•)

Took a gap year partly bc of covid but also bc I was in a state of limbo, I didn't know what I wanted and jobs here are not as diverse as elsewhere because of certain limitations ㅠ ㅠ I just literally took the year off to not think and work a little and now a year later, here I am as a psych sci student! I hope I do well to be able to get honours!!!

Oh yes I would like another playlist!!! If it's okay can you based it off how you perceive me and any aesthetics from the blogs I own? I was gonna ask if you would like me to do it too but I forgot you were anonymous ahskdmfllf ( ´❛ ‿❛`)

WE'RE ALREADY ON THE THIRD MISSION??? how long have we been communicating omg, it felt like recent that we started talking. Don't worry about the asking, we can include our daily life happenings in too! I feel like we can keep talking with just us jumping from topic to topic ( ꈍᴗꈍ). Until the next ask from you f🐯❤️, it's almost close to reveal soon right? AHSJDJFLFK I CAN'T WAIT

[therobbinsnest]

11 questions..

I was tagged by the fabulous @conversationinthehallway and @a-january-girl Thanks guys! 

Here goes nothing.. 

1. Can you explain your choice of online handle? 

i could but then i would have to kill you and no one wants that to happen... so ... mums the word. 

2. What is your favorite thing about being a woman?

hands down being pregnant -- i was pregnant A LOT .. 4 kids.. several miscarriages along the way... i saw my share of lines appear on pregnancy tests and i loved every emotional minute of it.  The pregnancies that ended in my kids  were relatively easy, i didn't get sick, i didn't gain much weight, i didn't have any issues and the delivery and recovery for me was easy. I remember the night before I  had my last child thinking holy shit.. i am NEVER going to be pregnant again... i literally was up all night just trying to memorize every feeling every bump every twinge that i was experiencing... oh and I LOVED nursing like I cannot even put into words... 

3. But what if you could be a man for one day, what would you do and how would you spend it? 

oh my.. got i would love to be able to pee anywhere...  wouldnt that be a fucking hoot?

4. If you had not had the job you have now, what other job would you have liked to do? 

I dunno..... i really dunno for this one.. sorry! 

5. Can you tell us about a teacher you’ll never forget? 

i talked about a resident assistant i had in college that had a HUGE influence on me in another post.. but teacher I'm gonna go rogue and talk about a first grade teacher that 3 our of my 4 kids have had already. I honestly have never met a teacher like this-- she is like a freakin disney character... i dont know how she does it .. each of my kids are so different but she found a way to connect with all of them on different levels. I love her so much.. we go out to dinner now, she comes to my kids bday parties.. she is like part of the family. Honestly she is the teacher that has set the bar so.freakin.high that no one else compares. 

6. Do you have any talents that we don’t know of? 

oh i have lots of talents -- you need to be more specific in which arena... ill give ya this..i can juggle, do the flying trapeze, walk on my hands, balance spoons on my face... and well.. yeah thats enough.. 

7. What is the very first XF fic you remember reading? (with a link, it’s even better 😉) The Amish Country.. and i have a link .. do i get points? http://txf-fic-chicks.tumblr.com/post/147464838818/novel-length-friday

8. What’s the most precious object/thing you own?

 hands down pictures.. of my  family i am so incredibly anal retentive about this.. i have them printed, and then saved in 3 different locations in 3 different clouds and on hard drives and computers locally. 

9. When was the last time you got really drunk? 

wooo like HOW drunk.. l have only ever gotten drunk to the point of sickness ONCE.. that was all it took.. in college.. we arent gonna talk about that or rum and coke ever ever again... but the last time i got drunk?? was probably New Years Eve.. we had a bunch of people over and we didn't have to drive and we started drinking way too early... 

10. What’s the most unprofessional thing you’ve done? 

oh dear. ummmmmmm god i don't know.. I'm pretty straight laced .. by the rules kinda gal... like driving the wrong way down a one way? stealing an old ladys parking spot? stuff like that? or are we talking like forging documents and shit? 

11. Would you rather give up sex entirely for the rest of your life, or give up chocolate AND pizza AND take out instead?  

HA are you kidding me with this? having had all 4 of these in the last 48 hours i don't think i could give up any. Sorry I'm sex, chocolate, pizza, take out hog. 

I'm tagging  @mangokiwitropicalswirl, @sunshinetoday @ihavefeministbones, @wholeperson, @sunflowerseedsandscience, @suncrossed

if you arent tagged and wanna play anyway.. get to it! 

questions

what is your favorite time of day and why?

what is your favorite color?

if you had $500 what would you buy right now?

one thing you want to take back you have done in the last week.

ability to see the future or correct a mistake in the past?

you can get anything you want to eat tonight for dinner.. what are you having? 

what was your favorite subject in school?

give me a quote from your favorite movie

if you could would you change anything physical about your appearance.. if so what?

where do you fall in order of your siblings? or are you an only child?

what is one thing you think people think about you when they meet you for the first time.

[mycraftylittlestitches]

Wow, this is awkward and boy, oh boy am I crap?! I mean seriously. It’s been another month that has made me wonder if the God’s are after driving me down into the path of insanity. Thankfully my health is on the mend but now comes the mammoth task of catching up with all my jobs. I’ve sent a car full of bags and boxes of unneeded bits and bobs to the charity shop, I’ve done the little fiddly jobs that somehow I never have time for in-between going to my day job and taking care of the girls.

I’ve spent as much time as possible playing and cuddling my girls and attempted to at least squeeze in one blog post a week. I had so many ambitious ideas but perhaps I should tone them down for now. Family first, followed by life in general then my blog. In that order. I am however hopeful that now I am almost back on track with my priorities, I can start REALLY sinking my teeth into my fun little hobby.

  Toddle was ‘helping’ me write a review…. Review FINALLY nealy done. just proof read and post! Next few days…

Now for the embarrassing bit of looking at last month’s aims. Spoiler alert: not much got done! Oh well, sometimes you can only do what you can do… Or in my case, what my body will allow me to do.

  Blog: Write at least two blog posts a week, ideally three. One recipe and maybe two miscellaneous; that will probably be parenting/ crafting/ review related. I have at the very least managed some recipes. Wooo! I’m not entirely sure if it counts if I was cooking anyway but at least some content popped up on my site and made it seem like perhaps I had some kind of plan of action. Some other posts happened and I have six almost ready to go posts but sadly life always takes priority so they haven’t yet made the final cut.

Finish at least two more crochet tutorials, including video. I won’t be posting them up until I have at least ten ready, then it will be a weekly event, posted on a Sunday for your viewing pleasure. Ready yourself for the broad Northern English accent. Nope. Sorry. Not even finished one but have scripted it so that kind of counts right? Right? Set up my YouTube account and make it look both pretty and functional. Only one video on there so far… Sigh….. Not even uploaded my logo on to it yet…

One crochet pattern typed up and posted with photos. I have an idea for a lacy scarf. We shall see if it pans out the way that I hope it will. Halfway there with this one but sadly I have managed to lose my 5mm crochet hook but when my new one arrives I can complete this project and delight a toddler with a new hat and matching scarf set.

Hit 300 followers on my Facebook page. Close but no cigar. I’m not great on Facebook but if you want to assist me on my way to the noble goal of 300 followers then here is the link. Thank you, much appreciated!

Spend at least 10 hours a week creating content and write at least 500 words a day. Barely had time this month to manage 2 hours a week but going to try to make a few more happen soon. Health and kids depending!

Get an honest update and new set of aims ready for the first of October. Sooooo……. We are still in October so it kinda counts right? Right…?

Flowers to brighten my week.

Peek a boo!

Real life Start learning how to draw. I doodled a stick person and a house to try to explain to concept of Santa to a toddler. I’m going to count it as practice and a good step towards my goal of decent scribbles. It’s not delusional if I know I’m kidding myself.

Spend more time playing with the girls. I have accomplished this. This was my primary parenting goal because I always seem to get so caught up with work and getting things done I sometimes don’t slow down enough to show my girls that they are my world. Last month I made sure to spend as much time as possible down on their level, playing with blocks, Duplo, reading, singing and whatever other games took our fancy. It’s been wonderful and I’ve STILL managed to get my house back to rights after a few months of epilepsy madness. Double win.

I know that they were never exactly starved of attention and I always took plenty of time out of my day for them but I feel I have a much better balance now that I am allowing myself to occasionally drop the ball in less important areas of life. Happier girlies and happier mummy. Still, need to work on this a bit more but it takes time to break the habits of a lifetime.

Try and prevent days of low mood. Mostly a success. Lots of cappuccinos in cafés and playtime with the girls. It’s so easy to feel down when your disabilities are acting up but I have tried very hard to boost myself up. Yes, I feel like a failure sometimes and yes, I wish I could do all the things that other people can do but at the end of the day, I am quite lucky. I can walk with the use of a stick or whatever else to lean on. I can manage to mostly take care of myself and the girls. Can’t bathe myself or them without my partner at home because of epilepsy but that’s a small price to pay for their’s and my own’s safety. I have had low days but I am feeling a lot more optimistic in recent weeks. All things considered, I’m doing great!

My girls after an Autumn walk. 50% chance of naps.

Read at least one book a fortnight. Hahahahaha. I’ve read some of ‘Free’ by Fiona Morgan and that was some quite pleasant hours snatched here and there for my own relaxation. I’d forgotten how much I love a good book and three seconds without the human monster trucks climbing all over me. Ahhhh, bliss!

Give up caffeinated coffee. Tea can stay for now. I’m down to 2/6 cups of caffeinated coffee a day and a mug of tea. For me, that’s practically cold turkey. The headaches have been interesting but I have been dealing with epileptic headaches anyway so you know… Might as well do both!

Cut right back on the sugar and eat less junk food. Pizza, I’m looking at you (while drooling). One fake away a month is allowed now. My thighs will thank me later even if my PMS is growling menacingly and threatening death and destruction on all who come near without some kind of sweet or carby offering to tame the beast. Poor Partner…

Find a better work/ blog/ family balance which benefits me, my daughters and my partner. I love them so much! Progress is happening but it’s a tricky one to balance. I’m a bit rubbish at organising myself so this was always going to be a challenge. My girls are getting more attention and are loving it so there’s that, at the very least.

Talk more openly about my emotions. Errrrm, No. Too hard.

Tell myself five things that make me great every morning and another five that make me so very lucky. I have been trying to spin a positive light on most things but I’m quite a negative person so my brain likes adding ‘but’ after each sentence. It’s slowly being trained out of it but I think that this will take plenty of time.. I will keep you all posted on how I get on. Here’s hoping for a fantastic and productive month.

New aims to keep me going until the start of December:

Blog:

Finally, catch up on my workload after the past few months of being ill. I’m getting there slowly but honestly, it’s getting embarrassing!

Sort out all of my social media accounts. Update Facebook and make it look nicer. Get my Instagram up and running and get at least a small following. Ditto on my YouTube and finally reach 10,000 followers on my Twitter.

Have a consistent blog schedule that includes 2-3 posts a week and some social media updates.

Look into going self-hosted so that I have more control over my site design and what I can include.

Have fun!

Life:

Keep calm and happy.

Spend plenty of time with my girls.

Find a good work/ life balance.

Get Xmas sorted!

That’s about it if I’m honest.

Sorry for being away so much this month, thanks for reading and have a fantastic Halloween! If you have enjoyed my post, then please consider following me on: Twitter Instagram and Facebook

October's plans and updates. #Plans #blog #blogging #family #abitlate Wow, this is awkward and boy, oh boy am I crap?! I mean seriously. It's been another month that has made me wonder if the God's are after driving me down into the path of insanity.