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#words i couldn't say
littleteenagethings · 2 years
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I always wondered why I never felt at home. No matter where I went or what I did, I could never find home. My soul searched far and wide, across the ocean, across the sky, across the universe and never found peace. I never felt at home until the very first time that I looked into your eyes, and my soul let out a sigh of relief. Sometimes, home is not a place, but just a pair of beautiful eyes and carry the beauty of a thousand stars in them.
Excerpts from the book I’ll never write #407
24/04/2022
12:07 am
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feluka · 2 months
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In front of the Journalists' Syndicate, Cairo, Egypt, on 15th January 2024.
The crowd chants:
مصر مشاركة في الحصار معبر بيننا و بين اهالينا الصهيوني متحكم فينا طول ما الدم العربي رخيص يسقط يسقط اي رئيس عملوها احفاد مانديلا و احنا فخوف و فعار و مزلة عايزين المعبر مفتوح
Translation:
Egypt participates in this siege! A crossing between us and our people! Controlled by Zionists! As long as Arab blood is seen as cheap, Any and every president must fall! Mandela's grandchildren have done it, While we are seized by fear, shame, and humiliation! We demand Rafah Crossing open!
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jeeaark · 2 months
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Never seen an illithid recoil so fast when trying to give it smooches. Turns out there's a very good reason for it!
Wanted to draw my guardian boi one last time. First time the Emperor suggested it, got a lil affronted
Like, Squid bud, you don't think Greygold 'gets it'? You don't think Greygold had a bit of the 'don't belong's? the not-be-yourself-to-fit-in? Greygold gonna accept the shit out of you, buster. Gonna figure out dat squid biology one comedic lesson at a time.
Also. dat hair. I like to imagine when the emperor saw what would instantly gain Greygold's trust, the illithid was like-This is....Way too dreamy. Had to tone it down, Clark Kent dat Hunk-orc up with a hair-bun.
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Reread Nona and this part is bothering me:
“You should be draining and replacing her fucking brain fluid,” said Pyrrha. “When Gideon and I designed that trial, I used to crack his skull and sieve it myself, just as a control variable. It’s aggregative. I doubt you’re testing her white blood cell count either. The only other people I put through that damn trial were Mercy and Cris, because only Cris didn’t mind being trepanned on the regular.”
Why was the necro (G1deon) being trepanned in one pairing, and the cav (Cristabel) in the other, when they were undergoing the same trial? If it was being used as a control variable, wouldn't it have to be the same across all versions of the experiment?
I assume the trial being referred to is the winnowing one that Harrow and Gideon complete in GtN, where Harrow has to essentially hijack Gideon's perceptions so they can take down the construct in the right order. I suppose a more extreme version of that is what Palamedes is doing when he takes over Camilla's body; Pyrrha's saying the above in reference to what Palamedes should be doing to Camilla to reduce the damage of him taking over her body, implying it's something that should be done to cavs, as they're the ones having their brains invaded and put under strain.
Then why do it to Gideon?
I would think they were both draining their brain fluid, but the wording doesn't suggest it (and I rather think Mercymorn would protest to being trepanned...)
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whoever this beloved anon was I am so touched by your kindness! You definitely didn’t have to do this but I am so happy you enjoy this idea and I will happily expand upon it for you!
this is just a collection of word vomit bullet points for the time being but I will happily answer any and all questions about this pair!!
warnings: violence, angst, child death (Sarah Miller), foul language, the same warnings that apply to tlou, reader is Sarah's mom and described as having similar features to her. 
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So the general Idea is that you and Joel are happily married before the outbreak. 
You had been Sarah's mother, his high school sweetheart he got pregnant when neither of you were old enough to have any reaction to the pregnancy test other than a fucking panic attack in one another’s arms. but you made it work 
you both worked but made time for one another and your sweet girl, going to museums every other weekend and joel insisting on swooping you off for a date every now and then 
nothing special. He knows you’re more of a diner gal than anything too fancy that makes you both feel out of place. 
On his birthday in 2003, you had planned to tell him that you were pregnant again. But the memories of your own fears of motherhood from all those years ago begin to swirl through your head again and you get cold feel. deciding to tell him the morning after
it is his birthday afterall, you want to focus on him. 
but when you’re woken up in the middle of the night because tommy needs to get bailed out, Joel kisses you sweetly one last time before promising he’ll be back and you can’t shake the feeling that something bad is happening. 
its you that shakes sarah awake that night. shouting at her to put on her shoes when she’s still rubbing the sleep from her eyes because you’ve been listening to the radio for the past two hours, calling joel again and again and again praying for him to fucking pick up but to no avail. 
Sarah, bless your little girl’s bleeding heart is the one who insists you check on the adler’s against your better suspicions and when you find the eldest looming over her daughter, blood and sinew dripping from her mouth, you grab your daughter hand and burst into a full sprint until something slams into your back and sends you tumbling onto their front lawn
its how joel finds you, struggling to keep the once sweet old woman, whose now nothing more than dead eyes and gnashing teeth straining to snap at your pulse point as you push against her while sarah shrieks before your husband runs forward and cracks her skull with a wrench. 
there’s hardly a moment of pause, just enough for him to pull you up and into his arms before he’s ushering you both into the car with an urgency. 
when the truck crashes, you get separated from them. Perhaps at Tommy’s side when the flames rise and create a wall, separating you from your husband, or maybe pulled into the mob of chaos when trying to escape from those already infected-
all joel knows is that you promise you’ll find him: just get sarah to safety and you’ll meet him at the river
Poor thing is already so frightened, held in her father’s arms with tears streaming down her face insisting they can’t leave you they just can’t but her father kisses her forehead and reassures her its going to be okay 
“we just need to be brave, okay babygirl? Your mama’s real tough, she’s gonna be alright.” 
he isn’t sure if he’s saying it to his daughter or himself. 
but when he comes to the river you aren’t there. Only a soldier who points a gun at the scared little girl in his arms and then he loses everything
its when the light is gone from his daughter’s eyes that he realizes. His voice cracked and raw from sobbing that he looks around to see his brother with drawn in shoulders and tears in his eyes but his wife is nowhere to be found. 
Tommy says you got lost in the chaos. Everything was so loud, so sudden that he turned around and suddenly you weren’t there. 
Joel wants to go back but its Tommy that stops him, that dulls the red in his vision to a sad faded pink because his brother points at the orange horizon not too far from them, so much of the city is already in flames. 
“We’re gonna find her, but not there.” 
So Joel searches. for the first year spent in the world post-outbreak its all he did. 
He became a smuggler because of it. 
Information came at a price and he needed to be able to fucking pay it, whether it be in blood or ration cards. He was willing to do anything to find you or any thin thread that lead your way. 
But it’s Tommy that asks him to give up. Not in those words of course. 
The youngest Miller knows better than to say something so cruel that would make his brother, the only person he has in this world turn on him. 
But his voice is worried when he asks him one night in Boston when he hasn’t even had the chance to wash the blood from his knuckles 
“You think she would have wanted this for you?” 
the fight that followed his words was brutal. Vicious insults and scarred fists slamming against each brother until they're both too tired and bloody to continue. Each leaning against a wall for support and Tommy’s wavering voice breaking the silence. 
“I don’t know where she is, Joel. But I do know you're gonna get yourself killed if you keep lookin’ for her.” 
All he can do is nod. 
It’s a few days later when he meets Tess. Who has heard plenty of stories about the elder miller’s brutality and wants him to put that muscle to good use for some extra profit. 
It begins his new life. One that empty and cold but one he can live. 
Until of course, Ellie comes along. The sweet and incredibly opinionated girl that makes him become something akin to the man he thought died twenty years ago. 
its when he’s traveling with Ellie, that it happens. When a warm familiarity has settled between the two because so much blood and pain has been shared he can’t help but see her as something close, something bright even though all he can force himself to utter in her reference is “cargo” 
when theyre traveling through the woods as Ellie chatters away, probing his memory about a movie that may or may not have existed thirty years ago because her descriptions of the plot are incredibly odd he hears a voice shout for them to stop and finds himself staring at a man- no, a boy- pointing a gun at them. 
Ellie stills, but Joel can see enough to know that from the lanky figure and dimpled face that he’s young. Maybe twenty, twenty-two at the oldest, but his eyes dart from Joel to Ellie with a pinprick of fear that allows Joel the time to charge forward and slam him to the ground before wrestling the gun from his hands. 
He has enough to time to tuck it under the stranger’s chin before he hears the sound of the safety being turned off and finds himself looking up and seeing a gun just inches from his face. 
Joel’s head whips around when Ellie’s voice calls out his name in fear, he turns to see another stranger holding her a gun point, shoulders drawn back and a shadow cast over their face by the had obstructing their identity. 
“You hurt one of mine, I hurt one of yours. That a fair deal?” 
Its takes him a moment to recognize you. It’s been so long since he’s heard your voice, the sweet tease when you would poke at him each time he woke up late despite the fact that you reminded him to set his alarm the night before, the times you’d chide him with a harsh “Joel Miller!” whispered in public anytime he was able to grab you a bit too passionately to be appropriate in public but the laughter in your voice let him know you were never truly mad at him. You didn’t know how to be. 
But that sweetness is buried under a cold rasp that cuts through the air as you point a rifle at the scared little girl in front of you.
“You think I won’t?” You’re older now, skin covered in scars from a life he didn’t know you got the chance to live and your eyes are cold as they regard your husband. “Put the gun down and get the fuck off of him, I won’t repeat myself.” 
Joel mumbles your name in awe. The woman he loved, the woman he mourned the one he fought so hard to find stands before him like some sort of hallucination and suddenly the world feels like its spinning until you bark orders at him again. 
“You’ve got five seconds Joel, make a fucking choice before I make it for you.” 
He looks down and realizes the boy under him, the one with the bleeding nose and snarling face has your eyes and his dimples. 
“One.” 
The one above him has Sarah’s hair. Soft brown curls that shine under the sun. 
“Two”
Wait. No, they both do.
“Three.” 
Twins. Jesus fucking Christ you had twins. 
“Four.” 
Joel holds the rifle up above his head and the one boy standing snatches it from his grasp, tossing it to the ground and kicking it far from his reach. He slowly stands, allowing your son- dear god your son- to scramble to his feet. 
Your voice softens just for a moment. “You okay, Duke?” 
Blood stains the bottom half of his face from where Joel slammed his fist into the boy’s nose just moments before, but he nods nonetheless. 
Now, they both stand on one side of you and he can see the resemblance clear as day the same way he would whenever Sarah was by your side.
When you order him to hand over his bag, he does so without question before telling Ellie to do the same. 
She watches him with wide eyes, her hands still up in the air but gaping at her companion as if he had grown a second head. 
“Joel!” “Just do it, alright?”
He doesn’t miss the way you watch their interaction with narrowed eyes until she tosses her bag to you and you slowly lower your gun. 
“Now, you want to tell me what the fuck you think you’re doin’ at my home?” 
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#i had an idea of something similar for tommy but on outbreak night he uh. abandons you instead of getting separated from you#because. angst :D#people say nice things#this was incredibly generous of you anon thank you so so much!#i may get myself a little starbucks drink this week now because I havent had starbucks since like january 1st lol#joel reeling from taking in all this information and also realizing he suckerpunched HIS OWN KID#id like to apologize for all the grammatical issues with this. this is just a bulletpoint word vomit to get my thoughts on the page before-#-beginning the actual fic. also I have to do a midterm tonight and this is my treat to myself hehe#but yes. joel getting separated from his wife on outbreak night and having to accept that shes probably dead#meanwhile youve lived this entire life without him because you think HES dead ad raising your boys all on your own#which just- further digs into his insecurities about failing in his role as a protector#he couldn't save sarah. he can't save ellie and he couldn't even save you#he thinks about you pregnant and alone. fending for yourself in a world full of infected and raiders and his chest grows tight again#this is all followed by Ellie going >:O 'you KNOW THIS PSYCHO?'and then joel immediately snapping at her to WATCH HER MOUTH#because that kid has no filter and he has to explain that youre his wife#anyways joels wife is a badass mfer who also maybe has a little garden and some chickens that you and your boys take care of <3 yeah .#reunion tag#ill be using that for this specific couple because I dont have a fic title yet but if anybody has suggestions!
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cyrwrites · 1 month
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Claim
Dick Grayson as a fae child, but with Bruce adopting him against his will.
When Batman had stopped the mourning child from murdering Tony Zucco in revenge for the death of his parents, he hadn't been aware that using his full name would open a contract between them. It left them in a sticky situation, with Bruce stuck with a seething child that had no intention of dropping his mischief and with one hell of a grudge.
By the time Jason was dragged into the family drama, "Dick Grayson" and "Robin" had gained such a fearsome reputation that he almost makes a run for it instantly.
It's a shame he can't.
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redysetdare · 3 months
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If you're first response to a repulsed person's identity is "As long as you're not sex/romance negative" then you don't ACTUALLY support repulsed people. if you're first response is basically "this is the qualification you have to meet for me to view your identity as valid and it's up to my interpretation on if you reach this unknown criteria" then you don't actually support repulsed people.
you can't go around saying how repulsed people are valid ONLY IF they're the "good ones" that's not how that works buddy.
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carionto · 3 months
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The duality of Man, or triality? quadrality?
Alien to Human about New Human: Correct me if I'm wrong, but they appear abnormally large for your species?
H: Yea, he's a biggun alright, even without the EV suit I'd say... 7'3'', 310 pounds, bet he power lifts.
A: Umm... not to be rude, but, uhh... he seems, well... how should I put this...
H: Intimidating? Terrifying? Evil? Yea, if this station didn't have high screening standards I'd be totally pissing myself if he started walking towards me. The mohawk and eye tat totally make me believe he could snap me in two with a single glare.
A: I feel ashamed that my instincts are telling me to flee. I wish nature were easier to change.
H (shouting at NH): Hey buddy! Could you come over here for a minute please? You look awesome by the way!
A (whispering nervously): what are you doing?!?
H: Gotta overcome those fears somehow, I believe the best way is a direct confrontation.
NH approaches, somewhat slowly, looking around at all the other aliens in the station that are chatting, waiting around, or doing some work. He finally approaches A and H, and in a very deep and husky voice says: Um, hi, hello. T-thanks for the compliment, I, uh, was a little worried I would stand out too much here.
H: Oh you totally do, my friend over here is practically about to pass out from how much like a gothic viking of death metal you look.
NH: Oh no, I'm so sorry, I-I just grew up in Sweden-Delta and both my parents were huge into classic local music, so I just, uh... it's complicated. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare anyone.
H: Hey, relax pal, we're all good people here. Anyway, what you here to do? I'm planning on starting a bakery, still testing out what kind of flour most species here can actually stomach. My friend here is on the team working on Moon theft preventative measures.
NH: Oh, that's cool. I'm here as an exchange student with the department of applied astrophysics. If all goes well, I can finish my Bachelors degree remotely and stay here as an intern with the head researcher.
H: Oooh, that's cool. (so cool yea that you're apparently half my age but oh well guess I'm a big fat time waster like my father before me and oh god change the subject before I get depressed in front of strangers) That's a real big bag you got there, carrying some super secret science things, eh?
NH: Oh, that... uhh... guess it can't hurt to tell, security vetted it already anyway.
NH proceeds to unzip the bag and hold up a large white piece of clothing with light blue rings and accents, alongside a strange white cap with what looked like small fins, and a curious little backpack.
NH: It's uhh... um... my... Ika... musume... cosplay.... (oh gods I can't believe I said it out loud again)
After a moment of awkward silence, NH slowly puts on the backpack and presses a button on it's strap, and suddenly numerous light blue colored tentacle-like appendages sprout out from the backpack and move in line with NH's movements.
NH: I, uh..., got my engineering friend to make them articulate and interface with my contacts. I can make them do all sorts of things, like make various shapes and animals with them, though works best as a shadow theater.
H:...
NH:...
A now frozen out of confusion than fear:...
H: That's so
NH: (oh I know it's so lame, but I love that show)-
H: COOL! I don't know what a ika musume is, but those things look amazing. You said articulate? How precise can they be? I'd love to have something like that instead of my useless assistant. Poor lad can't make a piece of toast if his life depended on it...
NH: Y-you like it?
H: I LOVE those things. My daughter does cosplay too sometimes, but she makes her Dreadnought suits herself from scraps. One time the military came to our house and installed a limiter on the gauss cannon she found in a crash site, said it would otherwise start to generate small doses of radiation if used too frequently. But she replaced it with a handmade rail gun before the next convention. Do you go to those? Did you see a 7 meter tall hulking metal monstrosity with a bunch of candles all over? That was her.
NH: Oh, I think I've seen video of that, but no, not in person, I go to smaller events. I don't really like big crowds.
H: Oh yea, I get ya, you do seem a bit on the shy side now that we've been talking for a bit. Hey, no worries, like I said, we're all good people here.
NH: T-thanks, but I think I should be going now, the teacher is calling me over.
H: Oh yea, go ahead, didn't mean to take up so much of your time. Have a fun stay and I'm sure you'll ace that paper or theory? Or whatever astrophysicists do, you seem like a solid kid.
NH: Oh, uh, thanks. Good luck with your bakery. And you with stopping those weird people from stealing more moons. Bye.
H: Bye bye, come visit, don't be a stranger now, I'm set up just a short bit from the main lift on floor 14.
NH: R-right, I'll, uh, be sure to stop by soon.
A is finally able to process what they just heard and says: What was all that just now?
H: What? Just a friendly chat with what is apparently basically a kid. Man, this kid's got so much going on, while I'm almost 50 and I have an oven. Life, man, it can go in so many ways. Anyway, let's go grab a drink, I'm parched.
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secondbeatsongs · 1 year
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Hello! I'm Julie from Cariona and I just want to ask if you're interested in doing ads/promotions here on Tumblr? If yes, how much do you charge per reblog?
For proof of legitimate promotions, you can check @catchymemes, @sulfatto, @isnt, and many others.
Website for reference: http://cariona.com Over 200 five star Facebook reviews: https://www.facebook.com/carionaproducts/reviews
Please feel free to respond here or reach out to us on [email protected] for more details! Thank you once again and have a great week!
absolutely fascinating that you decided to send this as an ask, when you also DM'd me. unfortunately, you may realize that this was a mistake - you see, asks can be responded to publicly.
so, allow me to respond:
hi, Julie! I'd never heard about Cariona before, so I decided to go poking around, and I learned something!
well, I learned a few things, actually. from your site, Cariona seems to be a small business that sells reusable menstrual products. and while I will never advertise a product that I haven't used, there's nothing wrong with wanting people to promote your company.
I have, however, found a few problems.
the first thing I found was this post by @crafiet from May 12th of last year, saying that shortly after making a purchase on your website, her debit card info was leaked, and used to make facebook ad purchases.
it seems that at least back then, your payment system was insecure. I'm really hoping you've fixed that, because. yikes.
and when I messaged crafiet to ask if it was okay if I linked to her post, she also mentioned that even though your website says you ship from Georgia, her package came shipped from China, and took a long time to arrive.
that's pretty sketchy.
the next thing I found was some folks talking about receiving cards with their orders that have a QR code on them with the words "Scan For God's Message To You", and that on the other side, have this bible verse:
O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is. Psalm 63:1
fun fact! that's from the King James Version (which I have a lot of thoughts about, but I'm not going to get into that right now).
additional fun fact! that particular psalm is from that time David fled to the wilderness because Jonathan's dad was trying to kill him.
and that's why I have to talk about the verses that follow it:
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(ID in alt text; link to the NIV version if you want it)
so...are we like 100% sure it's god that David is thinking about here? because...I mean...that's pretty horny, right? and all of this while on the run from his boyfriend's dad?
I'm not saying anything, but like...¯\_(ツ)_/¯
it's a weird verse to choose for this, that's all.
anyway, back to you, Cariona: after seeing people talking about the bible verse cards, I decided to poke around your website more, and allll the way at the bottom of it, finally found your "About Us" page, which ends with this:
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...look. there's nothing inherently wrong with being christian. but to say "we do not wish to impose any beliefs on our customers", and to then put bible verse cards in people's orders? that's sneaky, and I don't like it.
I also think it's a bit sneaky that you've flagged your tumblr account as pro-trans on shinigami eyes. at least, I assume you flagged it yourselves, because I didn't find a single post on your blog that mentions trans issues.
(though you have, entertainingly, reblogged some stranger things fanart, and a castiel cat cosplay)
and while your website uses very gender-neutral language, your "About Us" page doesn't say anything about being inclusive of trans people, just that you don't "discriminate against anyone who has a different belief than ours."
unfortunately, that's not good enough for me. I have this sneaking suspicion that "trans people are the gender they say they are" counts as a "different belief".
lastly, since you say on your website that people can message you asking about your faith, I had a friend do that!
baptists. you're baptists, which is a pretty conservative denomination.
and according to you, part of that 10% you donate goes to your local churches, and some missionaries. who are also probably baptists.
so.
in the end, I just...don't trust you? I don't trust that the 10% you're donating is going to organizations that aren't homophobic or transphobic. I don't believe that you're not trying to impose your beliefs on others, because that's what you're obviously doing. I mean, your "About Me" says that one of the reasons you built this company is to spread the gospel.
and I especially don't like it that you reached out to me (an openly queer person) for promotion without mentioning that you're an evangelical company.
so to answer your question, Julie: no. I am not interested in doing ads or promotions for you on tumblr. and honestly, you probably picked the wrong website for this kind of thing.
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gojosbf · 6 months
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someone check on satosugu and soukoku shippers
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crescentfool · 1 year
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graduation day 🌸
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samglyph · 4 months
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Guy who only thinks about malevolent listening to the new crane wives song: getting a lot of malevolent vibes from this
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girlbossblackbeard · 6 months
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do you think when black pete heard lucius say "what's new queen" he thought he was just being delusional and hearing lucius's voice when he's not really there like he did every morning for weeks after initially losing him?
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clockworkbee · 5 months
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When you realize that Jude hadn't pardoned herself, not because she hadn't figured out the loophole in the exile (meant specifically for her) but because she had loved Cardan (even if she wouldn't admit it to herself), and was hurt.
Jude had loved him since before she became a prisoner of the Undersea. She loved him when she agreed to marry him. She had hoped her feelings were returned but the exile didn't just mean she couldn't go back, it made her think (and believe) that Cardan hadn't loved her. She wanted to go back because Elfhame was home, she wanted to go back because she missed magic, but how could she go back to where the boy she loves—the King—was probably enjoying himself with his ex or a new lover, mocking her with his friends and laughing over her with her sister, being free at last of any commands, all while knowing (assuming) how much of a fool she was made?
Jude was hurt, not incapable of understanding the faerie wordplay she'd grown up listening to most of her mortal life. The slap she gave Cardan only showed a little of how deep that hurt went.
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uncanny-tranny · 2 years
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Your life isn't a to-do list. You're allowed to exist, to take life as slow as you'd like. The dreams you have won't suddenly disappear. It's okay to stop and smell the roses, or to engage with "childish" things, or to recover, or do what you need to.
#positivity#encouraging words#life doesn't need to be a speedrun or a 100% run#sometimes it feels like i'm wasting my life but... who gets to tell me what is wasteful? i'm surviving out here and that's okay#and it's okay if you're also somebody who people think is 'wasting your life'#that's such a meaningless and frankly a very cruel thing to say to a person#because you'll see people call somebody's life wasteful because they're simply coping with disability/mental illness/grief/ect#it's a meaningless saying to tell somebody how YOU think they're wasting life. your life isn't a waste point-blank#we ought to be kinder to ourselves for choosing what we want/need out of our lives rather than placating to what is imposed on us...#...or the expectations we impose on ourselves#be kinder to yourself whenever you can. it's hard as hell but please choose kindness toward yourself#just something i thought about and felt like it was impirtant to me#i couldn't complete high school 'on time' because of covid and because i was in crisis. i felt so much shame about that. i felt stupid...#...i felt unworthy. but who decided that i am those things? the crisis i was in could have killed me. i couldn't deal with school then...#...it humbled me because i had to learn that i am not immune to needing to be kind to myself. i am human - i'm not a mindless drone...#...you aren't a mindless drone either. you are an individual. you deserve to feel safe. you deserve understanding and compassion...#...but not ONLY from others. you deserve it from yourself as well
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yasmeensh · 18 days
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Story update
I got to write a good chunk of the opening these past two days. Excited to get more work done over March break. And I can't wait to get to writing more about my daughter T-T But she comes in a bit later in the story. Still in the first act, though.
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Some more character design doodles:
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