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#worst of both worlds veramente
deathshallbenomore · 2 years
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in che senso devo frequentare il corso online su hygiene and safety in the workplace, con tanto di test finale? non basta il fatto che non ci sputiamo nei rispettivi caffè e non ci lanciamo coltelli molto arrugginiti in corridoio - perché si sa, con il metallo arrugginito si potrebbe prendere il tetano-?
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katelides · 6 years
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Walking on sunshine - Bechloe mini fic pt 4
Chapter 4: Don’t you want me
It’s a quarter to ten, way too early for a Saturday morning, during the summer. Yet Both Beca and Chloe are impatiently waiting for the clerk of the jewelry store to come and show them the wedding bands. The redhead is tapping her fingers on the surface of the counter, while Beca tries to make time go faster by staring at the clock on the wall. But the brunette can’t help but look down at the tapping fingers, which of course catches Chloe’s attention who immediately stops.
Their eyes meet for a brief second and Chloe looks away, not wanting to feel uncomfortable. The redhead crosses her arms because she doesn’t know what to do with her hands. They stay in complete silence for only a brief moment, but Chloe can’t help it, she can’t stay in silence. “I thought you wanted to kite-surfing the world?” She suddenly says slightly accusing.” Beca takes a deep breath. “We are… on our honeymoon.” Chloe huffs in amusement. “Funny, Maddie always said she wanted Paris.”
Thankfully for Beca, the clerk comes out with the wedding rings and a huge smile on his face. “Would you like to try them on?” He asks politely. Chloe’s eyes widen in shock, and she shakes her head. “Oh no no no, I’m not the bride, it’s uhm someone else she’s going to marry, I’m no one.” The redhead rambles to the great amusement of Beca, who of course takes her ring and tries it on. Chloe sadly keeps rambling on, making the clerk a bit uncomfortable. “I’m just a friend, the sister of the bride.”
“I guess when people want, they change,” Beca says as an answer to Chloe’s previous statement. “Perfect;” She tells the clerk and hands him back the ring so he can put them into their correct boxes. The clerk shoot Chloe an awkward smile, that the redhead easily returns.
“I didn’t change Beca, I just couldn’t drop everything and just run off into the sunset with you,” Chloe says with a huff as they walk out of the store. “I know, your real life, right? How is that working out for you now?” Beca knows she shouldn’t be so cocky about it, but she can’t help it. “Great.” Chloe shoots back dryly. “Cool,” Beca says with an indifferent shrug.
Beca rubs her hands together devilishly, ever since she saw the redhead she wanted to know the answer to one question, and one question only… “Are you seeing anyone?” She asks with a sly grin. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Chloe answers back semi defensively. “Oh, sorry,” Beca says, trying to control her grin. This was perfect, Chloe definitely isn’t seeing anyone. Whoa wait, she has to get her head screwed back on correctly, she’s getting married tomorrow with Maddie.
“Why are you sorry?” Beca gets pulled back from her thoughts in a flash when Chloe makes her stop by pulling her by the arm. “Well, that’s a no.” Chloe rolls her eyes and continues walking. “No actually, it’s not necessarily a no, I just don’t want to talk about it. I think that sort of thing is private and shouldn’t be sung from the rooftops.” Beca smiles to herself and follows the redhead. She remembers how private the redhead was about the whole falling in love thing. Beca wasn’t so lucky though, she was best friends with Stacie, and her brother Jesse is a movie fanatic.
“Ha, I forgot, never say what you feel, right?” The brunette shoots back. “I just don’t see why people have to make such a spectacle of their feelings.” Beca makes Chloe stops by standing in front of her. “Because if someone sings it from the rooftops, you know that they really mean it. And that’s what weddings are all about.” Beca flashes a cocky smile at the redhead and walks away in victory.
The two of them enter the bridal shop. “Buon giorno.” Hello. Beca greets the woman inside with a smile that turns into. “What did you want me to do, Chloe? Become a monk?” They each accept the clothes they are offered by the shop’s staff while they keep their argument up. “Oh, I don’t know, maybe not fall in love with my sister?” Chloe shoots back sarcastically. “How could I know she was your sister? I have never met two people who are less like each other.” Beca says casually. “What is that supposed to mean?” Chloe asks offended by the statement.
They each step into a changing room. Sadly the two are only separated by a pink curtain. “Non posso credere che stiamo ancora parlando.” I can’t believe we’re still discussing this. “You’re the one that broke it off and forgot all about me.” The hurt is very evident in Beca’s voice, yet Chloe doesn’t seem to notice in her angry state. “I didn’t forget about you, I was working on my degree.” Beca lets out a huff as she puts on her wedding clothes. “Whatever.”
“And anyway, I’m not the one that spends all her days on the beach surrounded by hot girls in bikinis.” The two are so deep into their argument that they don’t hear the new people enter the store. Maybe they should have kept it down as the newcomers are their friends. “Oh come on, you know I wasn’t interested in them, I was waiting for you to come back like you said. But then I realized you weren’t, and then I met Maddie… she was open, so positive and full of life. “ Chloe pulls off her flowery dress in anger. “Full of life? So I’m not full of life?” Beca huffs for the umpteenth time that day. “Maybe you are, but how can anyone know?”
Outside of the stalls Mikey, Emily and Benji are listening in on the conversation. All with pained expressions clouding their faces. “We shouldn’t be listening to this, come on let's go,” Emily whispers. She pulls Benji away from the commotion and taps Mike on his shoulder. All the while as the two are still bickering. “Don’t make a spectacle of your feelings.” Beca shoots out mockingly. “Maddie made me happy again,” Beca states cooly as she shrugs on her jacket. “Okay? She brought me back to life.”
“How many times do I have to say how happy I am for you?” Sarcasm is dripping from Chloe's voice as she grows more frustrated by the minute. “Why are you so angry?” Beca asks, stepping out of her cubical and checking herself in the mirror. “I’m not angry,” Chloe shouts, ripping open her own curtain.
They both freeze when they see the other in their respective wedding outfit. Beca’s eyes roam over Chloe’s gorgeous figure, admiring the redhead in the beautiful pink and white bridesmaid dress.
Chloe’s jaw falls open slightly. Beca had always looked great in a pantsuit, but the dark blue one she is wearing right now makes the brunette’s eyes pop out even more. She looks sexy with the necktie loosely hanging around her neck. It makes her… undeniably hot.
“Oh belli che siete, siete veramente una meravigliosa coppia, e vi meritate in sieme tutto che la vita vi fa dare.” Oh, you are both beautiful, you are truly a wonderful couple, and you deserve all that life gives you. Beca and Chloe look up at the two older women that are cooing at them, making the two feel uncomfortable about their rapidly regrowing feelings. They share a look and can agree on the first thing that day. “I think we’re done.” The two rush back into their cubical and get dressed again but this time in utter silence.
Meanwhile, Maddie is roaming around, carefree, at the weekly farmer’s market.  She loves going there every Saturday, it’s a fun way to spend your morning, and you always go home with fresh fruit and vegetables. The busy hustle of people trying to sell their products, the many smells, the relaxed families all around her… Yes, that’s life she enjoys more than others might think.
The brunette is picking out some vegetables when some grabs the cucumber she just picked out, she’s ready to scream but stops herself when the smell of strong cologne that she would recognize anywhere fills her nostrils. “Doug…” The man chuckles playfully. “Oh, you do miss me.” Maddie pulls the cucumber out of Doug’s hand and puts it back on the pile. “What are you doing here?” She asks rather aggressively. “I’m here to rescue you from making the worst mistake of your life.”
The condescending tone Doug is speaking in irritates Maddie to no end, but she doesn’t show it. “That is so sweet… oh, but you were the worst mistake of my life so…” Without sparing the man another glance, she walks away. She doesn’t get far though, Doug follows her and spins her around. “Mads, Mads, Mads, Mads, I know we’ve had our ups and downs, but that’s all part of our things, isn’t it?”
Maddie tries to ignore the slightly greying man in front of her and tries to push past him but to no avail. “It’s a ride, it’s a great, big, fun, sexy rollercoaster.” Doug lets his ‘R’ roll for effect, one that does not seem to really faze Maddie. “Yeah alright, maybe we’ve had a big down these last few months,” Doug says with a shrug. “You dumped me!” Maddie shouts exasperatedly. “That just means we’re due for a big up. Know what I’m saying?”
“Doug, I don’t want your great, big, sexy,” Maddie’s eyes flicker down to her ex’s crotch but quickly looks back up again. “ride anymore… I want to get off.” Once again Maddie tries to walk away but gets stopped by Doug. “I should have never let you go Maddison Beale.” Maddie agrees with the arrogant douche. “I’m man enough to admit that.” Maddie lets out a bouldering laugh. “Come on, we’re incredible together, you know that.” Maddie rolls her eyes. “Just go…”
“One more chance. Come on, you owe me that.” Maddie keeps trying to get away but gets stopped with every turn. “I don’t owe you anything, except maybe a smack.” She says in an exasperated voice. “How can you say that?” Doug fakes being hurt, but slowly a  grin creeps up on his face. “Remember when you were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar?” He asks? “It was the day I first met you.”
Maddie rolls her eyes and turns away, but Doug grabs a piece of fabric of one of the stands and wraps it around the brunette. “Out of all the girls there that night I picked you and I shook you up, and I turned you around, into someone new.”  Maddie wriggles the fabric off and gives it back to the annoyed stand owner with an apologetic smile, all the while as Doug keeps talking.
“Now it’s five years later on you’ve got the world at your feet baby, success has been so easy for you.” Maddie grunts when Doug pulls her into a hug, she refuses to talk to him. “But don’t forget it was me who put you where you are now, and I can put you back down too.” Maddie is really close to slapping the boyish grin of off Doug’s face forever but manages to keep her anger inside and shoves an apple into his mouth. She walks away towards her car, trying to get as far away from the rich, self-absorbed, sex-crazed idiot she used to date.
“Come on Mads, you can’t tell me you don’t want me?” This is the last straw for the engaged brunette, she has to think quick to get rid of Doug. A simple idea pops into her head and turns to face the jerk. “Yes, I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, that much is true.” She manages to corner him on an empty table and comes really close as if she would be ready to kiss him. “But even back then I knew I’d find a much better place either with or without you.”
Without sparing Doug a second glance, she leaves him on the table, but she knows he’s following her swiftly. “The five we have had been such good times. I still love you…” Maddie takes a deep breath when she realizes what she just said and releases it just as quick. She’s in love with Beca, Beca is the one that makes her happy, the one that truly ever took the time to understand her. “But now I think it’s time to live my life as my own, I guess it’s just what I must do.”
“I truly don’t believe a word you’re saying sweet cheeks, and you just admitted that you love me so…” Maddie finally reaches her car but gets blocked from driving away. She pretends to let Doug into her vehicle, but the second he is out of the way she drives off. She lets out a relieved breath when she thinks she’s safe but that relief quickly vanishes when she sees Doug pull up next to her.
She manages to cut him off and drives through a little road towards the mansion. Everything seems to be finally clear, but when she enters inside, she finds Doug waiting for her with a grin. Maddie takes a piece of tape and wraps it around Doug’s mouth, so he doesn’t say anything stupid anymore. Thankfully she did because he was ready to do so. She also grabs a chair and is ready to use it on Doug’s head. “Which part of ‘I don’t want you’ don’t you understand?” She asks angrily.
Doug pulls the tape off his mouth so he can speak. “The 'don’t'…” He says seriously. “I've been out with some jerks, but you are a category of your own.” Maddie manages to huff out in annoyance. Doug, on the other hand, takes it as a compliment. “Why did I put up with it for so long? Well, I suppose I thought that one day you would go down on one knee.”
“We certainly have tried every other position,” Doug mumbles more to himself than to Maddie. “Ugh, just leave me alone.” Doug throws his hands up in defense. “Alright, I get it, I could try… but uhm yeah, I’ll go.” Doug slowly turns around but stops in his tracks. “On one condition, have dinner with me tonight.”
Maddie casually shrugs her shoulders. “It’s my hen night.” In her head, she's doing a happy dance because she can get out of it. “We’ll go early, really low key.” Maddie shakes her head. “Come on, have those five years meant anything to you? One last meal, I can wish you well, prove there are no hard feelings.
Maddie thinks about it. “And then you’ll go?” She asks to clarify. “On my honor,” Doug says. The brunette huffs, deep inside hoping that it’s true. “Okay” She didn’t see that Doug crossed his fingers behind his back, though. She doesn’t really get a chance to say or do anything else when she hears footsteps approaching them. “What is he doing here?”
It’s a quarter to ten, way too early for a Saturday morning, during the summer. Yet Both Beca and Chloe are impatiently waiting for the clerk of the jewelry store to come and show them the wedding bands. The redhead is tapping her fingers on the surface of the counter, while Beca tries to make time go faster by staring at the clock on the wall. But the brunette can’t help but look down at the tapping fingers, which of course catches Chloe’s attention who immediately stops.
Their eyes meet for a brief second and Chloe looks away, not wanting to feel uncomfortable. The redhead crosses her arms because she doesn’t know what to do with her hands. They stay in complete silence for only a brief moment, but Chloe can’t help it, she can’t stay in silence. “I thought you wanted to kite-surfing the world?” She suddenly says slightly accusing.” Beca takes a deep breath. “We are… on our honeymoon.” Chloe huffs in amusement. “Funny, Maddie always said she wanted Paris.”
Thankfully for Beca, the clerk comes out with the wedding rings and a huge smile on his face. “Would you like to try them on?” He asks politely. Chloe’s eyes widen in shock, and she shakes her head. “Oh no no no, I’m not the bride, it’s uhm someone else she’s going to marry, I’m no one.” The redhead rambles to the great amusement of Beca, who of course takes her ring and tries it on. Chloe sadly keeps rambling on, making the clerk a bit uncomfortable. “I’m just a friend, the sister of the bride.”
“I guess when people want, they change,” Beca says as an answer to Chloe’s previous statement. “Perfect;” She tells the clerk and hands him back the ring so he can put them into their correct boxes. The clerk shoot Chloe an awkward smile, that the redhead easily returns.
“I didn’t change Beca, I just couldn’t drop everything and just run off into the sunset with you,” Chloe says with a huff as they walk out of the store. “I know, your real life, right? How is that working out for you now?” Beca knows she shouldn’t be so cocky about it, but she can’t help it. “Great.” Chloe shoots back dryly. “Cool,” Beca says with an indifferent shrug.
Beca rubs her hands together devilishly, ever since she saw the redhead she wanted to know the answer to one question, and question only… “Are you seeing anyone?” She asks with a sly grin. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Chloe answers back semi defensively. “Oh, sorry,” Beca says, trying to control her grin. This was perfect, Chloe definitely isn’t seeing anyone. Whoa wait, she has to get her head screwed back on correctly, she’s getting married tomorrow with Maddie.
“Why are you sorry?” Beca gets pulled back from her thoughts in a flash when Chloe makes her stop by pulling her by the arm. “Well, that’s a no.” Chloe rolls her eyes and continues walking. “No actually, it’s not necessarily a no, I just don’t want to talk about it. I think that sort of thing is private and shouldn’t be sung from the rooftops.” Beca smiles to herself and follows the redhead. She remembers how private the redhead was about the whole falling in love thing. Beca wasn’t so lucky though, she was best friends with Stacie, and her brother Jesse is a movie fanatic.
“Ha, I forgot, never say what you feel, right?” The brunette shoots back. “I just don’t see why people have to make such a spectacle of their feelings.” Beca makes Chloe stops by standing in front of her. “Because if someone sings it from the rooftops, you know that they really mean it. And that’s what weddings are all about.” Beca flashes a cocky smile at the redhead and walks away in victory.
The two of them enter the bridal shop. “Buon giorno.” Hello. Beca greets the woman inside with a smile that turns into. “What did you want me to do, Chloe? Become a monk?” They each accept the clothes they are offered by the shop’s staff while they keep their argument up. “Oh, I don’t know, maybe not fall in love with my sister?” Chloe shoots back sarcastically. “How could I know she was your sister? I have never met two people who are less like each other.” Beca says casually. “What is that supposed to mean?” Chloe asks offended by the statement.
They each step into a changing room. Sadly the two are only separated by a pink curtain. “Non posso credere che stiamo ancora parlando.” I can’t believe we’re still discussing this. “You’re the one that broke it off and forgot all about me.” The hurt is very evident in Beca’s voice, yet Chloe doesn’t seem to notice in her angry state. “I didn’t forget about you, I was working on my degree.” Beca lets out a huff as she puts on her wedding clothes. “Whatever.”
“And anyway, I’m not the one that spends all her days on the beach surrounded by hot girls in bikinis.” The two are so deep into their argument that they don’t hear the new people enter the store. Maybe they should have kept it down as the newcomers are their friends. “Oh come on, you know I wasn’t interested in them, I was waiting for you to come back like you said. But then I realized you weren’t, and then I met Maddie… she was open, so positive and full of life. “ Chloe pulls off her flowery dress in anger. “Full of life? So I’m not full of life?” Beca huffs for the umpteenth time that day. “Maybe you are, but how can anyone know?”
Outside of the stalls Mikey, Emily and Benji are listening in on the conversation. All with pained expressions clouding their faces. “We shouldn’t be listening to this, come on let's go,” Emily whispers. She pulls Benji away from the commotion and taps Mike on his shoulder. All the while as the two are still bickering. “Don’t make a spectacle of your feelings.” Beca shoots out mockingly. “Maddie made me happy again,” Beca states cooly as she shrugs on her jacket. “Okay? She brought me back to life.”
“How many times do I have to say how happy I am for you?” Sarcasm is dripping from Chloe's voice as she grows more frustrated by the minute. “Why are you so angry?” Beca asks, stepping out of her cubical and checking herself in the mirror. “I’m not angry,” Chloe shouts, ripping open her own curtain.
They both freeze when they see the other in their respective wedding outfit. Beca’s eyes roam over Chloe’s gorgeous figure, admiring the redhead in the beautiful pink and white bridesmaid dress.
Chloe’s jaw falls open slightly. Beca had always looked great in a pantsuit, but the dark blue one she is wearing right now makes the brunette’s eyes pop out even more. She looks sexy with the necktie loosely hanging around her neck. It makes her… undeniably hot.
“Oh belli che siete, siete veramente una meravigliosa coppia, e vi meritate in sieme tutto che la vita vi fa dare.” Oh, you are both beautiful, you are truly a wonderful couple, and you deserve all that life gives you. Beca and Chloe look up at the two older women that are cooing at them, making the two feel uncomfortable about their rapidly regrowing feelings. They share a look and can agree on the first thing that day. “I think we’re done.” The two rush back into their cubical and get dressed again but this time in utter silence.
Meanwhile, Maddie is roaming around, carefree, at the weekly farmer’s market.  She loves going there every Saturday, it’s a fun way to spend your morning, and you always go home with fresh fruit and vegetables. The busy hustle of people trying to sell their products, the many smells, the relaxed families all around her… Yes, that’s life she enjoys more than others might think.
The brunette is picking out some vegetables when some grabs the cucumber she just picked out, she’s ready to scream but stops herself when the smell of strong cologne that she would recognize anywhere fills her nostrils. “Doug…” The man chuckles playfully. “Oh, you do miss me.” Maddie pulls the cucumber out of Doug’s hand and puts it back on the pile. “What are you doing here?” She asks rather aggressively. “I’m here to rescue you from making the worst mistake of your life.”
The condescending tone Doug is speaking in irritates Maddie to no end, but she doesn’t show it. “That is so sweet… oh, but you were the worst mistake of my life so…” Without sparing the man another glance, she walks away. She doesn’t get far though, Doug follows her and spins her around. “Mads, Mads, Mads, Mads, I know we’ve had our ups and downs, but that’s all part of our things, isn’t it?”
Maddie tries to ignore the slightly greying man in front of her and tries to push past him but to no avail. “It’s a ride, it’s a great, big, fun, sexy rollercoaster.” Doug lets his ‘R’ roll for effect, one that does not seem to really faze Maddie. “Yeah alright, maybe we’ve had a big down these last few months,” Doug says with a shrug. “You dumped me!” Maddie shouts exasperatedly. “That just means we’re due for a big up. Know what I’m saying?”
“Doug, I don’t want your great, big, sexy,” Maddie’s eyes flicker down to her ex’s crotch but quickly looks back up again. “ride anymore… I want to get off.” Once again Maddie tries to walk away but gets stopped by Doug. “I should have never let you go Maddison Beale.” Maddie agrees with the arrogant douche. “I’m man enough to admit that.” Maddie lets out a bouldering laugh. “Come on, we’re incredible together, you know that.” Maddie rolls her eyes. “Just go…”
“One more chance. Come on, you owe me that.” Maddie keeps trying to get away but gets stopped with every turn. “I don’t owe you anything, except maybe a smack.” She says in an exasperated voice. “How can you say that?” Doug fakes being hurt, but slowly a  grin creeps up on his face. “Remember when you were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar?” He asks? “It was the day I first met you.”
Maddie rolls her eyes and turns away, but Doug grabs a piece of fabric of one of the stands and wraps it around the brunette. “Out of all the girls there that night I picked you and I shook you up, and I turned you around, into someone new.”  Maddie wriggles the fabric off and gives it back to the annoyed stand owner with an apologetic smile, all the while as Doug keeps talking.
“Now it’s five years later on you’ve got the world at your feet baby, success has been so easy for you.” Maddie grunts when Doug pulls her into a hug, she refuses to talk to him. “But don’t forget it was me who put you where you are now, and I can put you back down too.” Maddie is really close to slapping the boyish grin of off Doug’s face forever but manages to keep her anger inside and shoves an apple into his mouth. She walks away towards her car, trying to get as far away from the rich, self-absorbed, sex-crazed idiot she used to date.
“Come on Mads, you can’t tell me you don’t want me?” This is the last straw for the engaged brunette, she has to think quick to get rid of Doug. A simple idea pops into her head and turns to face the jerk. “Yes, I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, that much is true.” She manages to corner him on an empty table and comes really close as if she would be ready to kiss him. “But even back then I knew I’d find a much better place either with or without you.”
Without sparing Doug a second glance, she leaves him on the table, but she knows he’s following her swiftly. “The five we have had been such good times. I still love you…” Maddie takes a deep breath when she realizes what she just said and releases it just as quick. She’s in love with Beca, Beca is the one that makes her happy, the one that truly ever took the time to understand her. “But now I think it’s time to live my life as my own, I guess it’s just what I must do.”
“I truly don’t believe a word you’re saying sweet cheeks, and you just admitted that you love me so…” Maddie finally reaches her car but gets blocked from driving away. She pretends to let Doug into her vehicle, but the second he is out of the way she drives off. She lets out a relieved breath when she thinks she’s safe but that relief quickly vanishes when she sees Doug pull up next to her.
She manages to cut him off and drives through a little road towards the mansion. Everything seems to be finally clear, but when she enters inside, she finds Doug waiting for her with a grin. Maddie takes a piece of tape and wraps it around Doug’s mouth, so he doesn’t say anything stupid anymore. Thankfully she did because he was ready to do so. She also grabs a chair and is ready to use it on Doug’s head. “Which part of ‘I don’t want you’ don’t you understand?” She asks angrily.
Doug pulls the tape off his mouth so he can speak. “The 'don’t'…” He says seriously. “I've been out with some jerks, but you are a category of your own.” Maddie manages to huff out in annoyance. Doug, on the other hand, takes it as a compliment. “Why did I put up with it for so long? Well, I suppose I thought that one day you would go down on one knee.”
“We certainly have tried every other position,” Doug mumbles more to himself than to Maddie. “Ugh, just leave me alone.” Doug throws his hands up in defense. “Alright, I get it, I could try… but uhm yeah, I’ll go.” Doug slowly turns around but stops in his tracks. “On one condition, have dinner with me tonight.”
Maddie casually shrugs her shoulders. “It’s my hen night.” In her head, she's doing a happy dance because she can get out of it. “We’ll go early, really low key.” Maddie shakes her head. “Come on, have those five years meant anything to you? One last meal, I can wish you well, prove there are no hard feelings.
Maddie thinks about it. “And then you’ll go?” She asks to clarify. “On my honor,” Doug says. The brunette huffs, deep inside hoping that it’s true. “Okay” She didn’t see that Doug crossed his fingers behind his back, though. She doesn’t really get a chance to say or do anything else when she hears footsteps approaching them. “What is he doing here?”
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deathshallbenomore · 2 years
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epic highs and laws of essere nella ricerca, soprattutto in campo legale? vorrei laurearmi in diritto internazionale comparato ma ho paura che dopo non troverò nessun posto di lavoro,,, quindi probabilmente ricerca sia.
allora buongiornissimo, devo dire che sul fronte dei dubbi esistenziali della domenica stiamo andando fortissimo <3
partiamo dalla risposta definitiva che mi sento di darti, banale quanto vera: se è quello che vuoi fare, provaci. e non lo dico in termini fatalistici che richiamano vocazioni scritte sulla pietra da seguire pena una vita sprecata (been there done that, 0/10), ma semplicemente perché se ritieni che la cosa x sia la giusta direzione da seguire per un capitolo più o meno lungo della tua vita, dovresti farla, altrimenti ti rimarrà in testa un what if grande come una casa
nello specifico, in ordine sparso, non tanto i contro, quanto gli elementi di difficoltà di questa vita frizzantina: è un contesto abbastanza feudale, basato sui rapporti più o meno pacifici tra clan di accademici, dove devi senz’altro sgomitare (soprattutto andando avanti), accettare compromessi, così come di vivere in uno status liminale tra quello dello studente e quello del lavoratore (la burocrazia ti riserva the worst of both worlds). il precariato è sicuramente un pericolo da prendere in considerazione (molto dipende dal professore, finché lavori a stretto contatto con ləi, dal dipartimento, e dai soldi che ha a disposizione il dipartimento per finanziare la ricerca - e qua ritorna l’attività di sgomitamento agonistico). nel mondo della ricerca c’è poi una forte tendenza a preferire (quando si parla di finanziamenti) obiettivi “utili” [es gli studi sui dati, sulle nuove tecnologie, sull’ambiente etc etc. lo sono, per carità, ma non è detto che siano interessanti per tuttə] e questo pone non pochi paletti sulla strada di una ricerca serena
una cosa molto importante è la selezione oculata e attenta del docente con cui lavorare per i prossimi anni della tua vita è FON DA MEN TA LE la cosa più importante in assoluto*. e questo può essere un contro (se la scelta non è delle migliori) oppure può essere il più grande pro: lavorare con una persona brava e competente nel suo campo, ma anche alla mano, umana e gradevole è veramente la svolta, ti consiglio di non sottovalutare questo aspetto perché è davvero importantissimo, in barba a qualsiasi ragionamento su prestigio gloria onore etc etc [ne va letteralmente della tua salute mentale. una persona seria e preparata con cui si lavora bene vale 193848292 nomi illustri umanamente difficili, con cui potresti davvero arenarti]
circa i pro, torno a una delle prime cose che ho detto: se è quello che vuoi fare e riesci a farlo, è una grande esperienza. sai quando ti guardi intorno e dici “forse mi trovo nel posto giusto al momento giusto”? tra mille scleri, difficoltà, scadenze, pezzi da correggere, letture etc etc penso di trovarmi in una fase del genere - che è una roba. hai occasione di studiare in modo radicalmente diverso da quando prepari gli esami, puoi in linea di massima (con i dovuti aggiustamenti) approfondire temi che ti appassionano, hai un sacco di stimoli dal confronto con gli altri, dalle cose/persone che vedi/leggi/ascolti, capitano un sacco di occasioni preziose e interessanti, che ti arricchiscono molto anche dal punto di vista personale
sul “dopo”, è tutto un grande boh: anche per me il lavoro [in senso stabile, sicuro e ragionevolmente retribuito] nella ricerca è una prospettiva turbo-futuristica alla quale al momento non penso nemmeno perché altrimenti inizierei a piangere per il resto dei miei giorni. lol. chiaro che se vuoi fare il dottorato ma poi vuoi lavorare in un’azienda che non sa come beneficiare dei tuoi anni nella ricerca, questi non saranno serviti a molto. mentre se rimani in un ambiente, anche non universitario, che comunque sappia “cosa farsene” della gente dottorata, allora sarà comunque stato “utile” aver investito quegli x anni in un percorso di ricerca. inoltre, seppur l’utilità lavorativa sia senz’altro una priorità, ci tengo a ricordare anche quanto un percorso del genere sia arricchente in primis da un punto di vista personale. e ancora, non consiglierei di perseguire la ricerca per mancanza d’altro, perché è un percorso tosto e cominciarlo “per forza” ha poco senso [della materia in cui ti laurei non importa niente a nessuno** lol quindi focalizzati su quello che effettivamente vuoi fare tu, e parti da lì]
………e poi tanto dipende anche da un mix di bravura e fortuna, quindi un abbraccione e tanta buona sorte✨✨ spero di esserti stata d’aiuto!
*oddio c’è anche chi arriva dal nulla e non conosce il proprio tutor; io personalmente non saprei quanto consigliare questo modus operandi
**paradossalmente, più che al lavoro, è forse più importante nell’accademia, perché da lì - da quella materia, da quello specifico tema - muovi i tuoi primi passi e sperimenti con gli interessi di ricerca
PS ora però devi rivelarmi cosa intendi con diritto internazionale comparato perché ho scritto tutto questo papiro con quest’unica domanda in testa
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