#wow! i cant beleive they can do that again!

[rushthehollow]

art of the duel

[icewindandboringhorror]

 a mood

[strawberryspeachy]

S4e10 is the first time i want to actually rewatch an entire episode of handmaids tale.... ok wait second time - was it the new “ofglen” who blew up that important building with all the commanders inside and the handmaids outside - that ending was great

But omg

First off elizabeths moss’s acting!!! Ive gotten too used to that same dreadful look shes been making for the past couple seasons that... the wide range of facial expressions really surprised me and it just!! Wow

the suspence the whole episode. Nothing EVER goes right in this show. I knew what i wanted to see but i fully expected fred and serena to go free and happy. That back and forth feeling was super engaging

I loved that even though there was that tension between june and moira before, moira jumped right back to trying to fight and doing all the screaming and ranting for june - someones gotta do it and june was too mentally exausted

K like im still confused why everyone can go in and out of the waterford prison so easily and was like.... dooooo they want june to kill him?!?!? Why are you leaving her alone???

And i was so excited like yesssss shes gonna kill himmm - well first i thought she was gonna go to serena and kill her baby

But when she was walking around that room... like a cat pretending not to notice the mouse in the room - we just know june too well to think she wasnt at least planningggg something

Also fred is fucking DISGUSTINGGGGG as usual. Lying during his ... conference like WHY are you just gonna beleive this psycho at face value?!

Oh and serena thinking shes got all the power back.

Omg the two of them. I cant

And fred really being such a fucking disgusting person to think ANY part of june enjoyed his torture. She is so strong dude - i could never sit there not knowing if my plan will work and playing nice. I thought she was gonna break that glass and stab him

And like. Ok. Lukes not the worst but also - his whole - just get over it!!! Attitude.... even if she cant get him on the wall why are you reprimanding her and trying to pretend she can just get over that trauma with some food. Absolutr lack of empathy.

But june saying hes gonna be on the wall... i was so giddy!!

And i rewatched that smile she made when larence told her she hanst lost her touch- well she could barely contain her smile throughout that entire negotiation. And i loved watching larence put on a show like ‘ah we rlly miss waterford! My brother!!’

Gah and just. Also... i kinda thought june was gonna kill mark when she was outside his building. Men in this show. She went through 7 years of hell and you told her youd help and fucked her over and then throw an entire dramatic tempertantrum when she calmly sits on a bench near your house.... lol wow..i mean uncomfortable but have some prespective

And i wanna say the like demand straight to - oh im sorry. Didnt mean to he a cunt - i meant please? Act june did, its not overacting but knowing june it is so it was funny af

The suspence watching fred get ready to go.., i was literally chanting for the plane to be to gilead but it was so much better! Watchint him get arrested all shocked. “Im a man! I have rights” all the fucking ew... open the door back up and slap him

I just thought he was gonna get sent back and wed watch the commanders all hang him. But it to be lawrence - again with his ‘oh? Is there anything i can do to stop this? No? Ok bye fred!’

And i mean i knew we were in for a treat with nick taking him but i was NOT EXPECTING JUNE to just POP OUT of the trees!!! Fucking perfect. A literal horror movie just for fred

Also why did he keep calling nick son.... like... no one likes you???? Do you really think you can regain power just saying words like this???

And this is e first time i fucking LOVED seeing june in a red coattt and her faceeee like last episode when she turned from calm to screaming - it wad so good and so intense and such good acting and that heartbeat music got me

But hereeeee i cant even desribe the combination or rage and calmness pouring out. Not to be a weeb but thats the first time i think ive ever seen a live action representation of how i imagine anime cool characters to act

That power play of nick and june making out in front of fred loool - i dont care about the ships but that was perfect

“This is sick” - whats sick is how you never run out of things to do and say that make me feel sick...

I loved how june told him to choose - i feel like jt was a call back to his lawyer saying that she CHOSE to be a handmaid. Like theres not good option here

Does anyone think she actually would have shot him dead IF he did choose the gun - part of me wants an alterantive ending where he chose that just so i could watch june either tell him ‘no thats too easy’ or like shoot him in the foot so he cant even run right before being like

Oops i missed and chasing him down anyway

I hate horror movies but watching them all chase him down UGHHH IVE NEVER FELT SO MUCH GLEEE - k not never but ya know

OMG ALMOST FORGOT that sceneee with june and emily talking at the table about how june wants him to be scared to death. And fucking luke - with his judgements turning and looking. I feelll like.... emily helped june decide to do this. Because after getting to the end of the episode it seemed more like they were planning in plain sight in thay scene

I havent rewarched the show. So maybe im remembering incorrectly but it does feel like this fits because - wasnt emily kind of what inspired june to actively start rebelling when she drove the car around and ran one of the guards over

Anddddd the songggg from the 1st? Or 2nd??? Season. The ending right? I just remember that the last time we heard that song was when june first started a quiet resistance against gilead and all the handmaids were together in it. So it brought back those feelings of like ‘FINALLY its happening!!’ And it fit soooo perfectlyyy

When the girls first ran up to fred i thought they were gonna surround him and reinact that “shame” thing they used to be forced to do. I mean i guess they did without actually saying it cause they definitely killed him the way gilead forced the handmaids to kill people in the first season

And it was wonderful to watch! Thank you handmaids tale for making me feel like a psychotic sadist for enjoying that ENTIRE scene. I was giggling like i was watching a disney movie

Gonna ignore that part where june picks up the baby covered in blood - ew

I wanted to seeeeee serena get the finger - more so - i wanted to watch tha family come in and get her and be like - hey guess what your coming back to gilead!!! And see it end with serena as a fucking handmaid - GIVING BIRTH TO THE BABY BETWEEN (i forget the one who visited hers name) LEGS!

But fuck seeing fred on a wall with the “dont let the bastards grind you down” from the the very beginningggg - it felt sooo goodddd

And i just needed to squeal over this episode some more! I watched it hours ago. But i kinda wanna rewatch it rnn

[bwingus]

Siri meets melody (ft @qualityfunnyscenariosfire 's oc melody)

Siri was out on her walk, looking for a deer for ammit. Since it was their favorite food.

She was currently in a deeper part of the woods, with her and ammits house being about 2 miles away. However, there was this strange research lab nearby, that supposedly makes animal human hybrids, but she didnt really beleive that.

"Dammit. There are way to many scents out here for me sniff out a deer." She said

Melody was running through the forest, gasping and whimpering. She walks over this fallen dead tree that was like a bridge over a small lake.

"They're gone. Finally." She says, walking through some bushes. She sees a lady in the distance, who was sniffing around in some bushes.

Melody slowly ventures in the bushes, her scent getting strong. She pops out of one, being eye to eye with the lady

"Ep! W-Wrong bush" she squeaks, quickly moving back into bush

Siri is surprised to see a pair of eyes look at her from the bush, and then disappear. She then hears a startled squeak, and she says, "ummm, is anyone there?" She doesnt get a response, so she decides she just gonna look inside the bush.

She finds a young usagi girl (a usagi is basically a human with rabbit ears) sitting in the bush. The girl looks very scared, and let's out a startled squeak, and raises her hands defensively. "P-p-please dont hurt me ma'am!" She says

"I'm not going to hurt you little one! could you come out of that bush for me?" Siri says.

"B-but how do I know I can trust you not to hurt me?" the girl said.

"Well, I havent hurt you yet, and if I was going to hurt you, I would have done so by now."

"O-ok" the girl says and she gets up. She was a young usagi girl, with long white hair,and wearing a adorable dress. "My-my name is melody by the way."

"Well, that's a rather cute name! My name is sirius, but you can call me siri!" Siri says

In the distance siri hears a stick snap, and so does melody.

"Did you hear that?" Melody says worriedly

"Mhm. Just stay with me. I dont think were alone out here...."

Just then siri hears something running at them from behind, but before she could react she was flung into a nearby tree.

She looks up, and sees that its a wendigo. And its grabbed melody, and has started to lift her up

"H-HELP!!!" Melody screams as the wendigo bites her leg, presumably to taste her.

"Dont touch her you bastard!" siri yells as she runs towards the wendigo, and punches it in the face, sending it flying, making the wendigo drop melody.

"Melody, are you ok!" Siri says

"N-no. It bit my leg, and now its hurt pretty bad."

"Ok. I'm gonna go deal with that beast!" She says, just as the wendigo gets up.

She runs forward yet again, unsheathed one of her swords, and then prepares to fight it.

The wendigo tries to strike her but she slides under its hand, springs up and hits a horizontal slice from its right shoulder to its heart, killing it instantly. She then lights it on fire.

She walks back over to melody, and examines her wound. "Man, it damaged you pretty bad. The wound goes deep enough to were I can see your bone." Siri says worriedly. She knows what she has to do, but she doesnt want to lose her trust.

"Melody. I have to ask you something. Do you trust me?" Siri says very sternly.

"I-I guess so? W-w-what are you gonna do?"

"Well...." she touches melody on the shoulder, and she starts to shrink, and eventually end up at 1 foot tall.

"H-h-hey, why did you do that miss siri?" Melody says, slightly getting scared.

Siri doesnt answer, but instead picks melody up, opens her mouth, and then brings melody into it.

"H-H-HEY!!!! S-s-stop!!!" Melody screams. But, her screams fell upon deaf ears since siri started swallowing her, and with on swallow little mel was swallowed up to her waist, and by a second swallow she was brought all the way into siri's throat. And eventually, she ended up in her stomach.

"M-m-miss siri! P-p-p-please let me out! Why did you eat me!!!" She says whimpering, on the verge of tears.

"Hey, hey, hey! It ok, its ok. I ate you so I could heal you. My stomach can produce a healing liquid, and I put you in there to heal your leg." Siri said.

"O-ok. Thank you. Wh-why didnt you tell me that in the first place?" Melody asked.

"I didnt want you to bleed out, or pass out from shock. So, I ate you in the heat of the moment." Siri explained.

"Ok." Melody said

"So, why were you out here anyway? Your parents must be worried sick!"

"I-I-I dont have parents, or atleast ones that I know of. When you found me, I had just been running from a research facility where they did experiments on me." She says while shaking, and tearing up. "I-I-I do not wanna go back there."

"Its ok honey. I wont take you back there. What If I took you back to me and my husbands house? Would that be ok?" Siri says

"Mhm" melody says as she cuddles up into the stomach, getting comfy.

"Also, our house is pretty far away, so you may wanna get some rest while your in there."

"Ok. Goodnight ms siri." Melody says

"Goodnight mel" siri said

Time skip to when siri gets to da house

"Hey, melody! Melodyyyy!" She says, while jostling her stomach so that she can wake melody up.

"Hmmm?" Melody says, just walking up.

"I got to my house." Siri says.

"Oh, ok. I cant wait to meet your husband." Melody says.

"Honey I'm home!" Siri says as she enters the house.

"Oh, welcome home darling." Ammit said from the kitchen. "Did you bring me the venison I wanted?"

"No, but I brought something better. I found a usagi girl named melody out there. I saved her from a wendigo." Siri says

"Oh? Could we adopt her?" Ammit asks. As he walks up and starts to rub siris slightly distended belly, causing sirius to purr.

"I would like that." Melody says as she cuddles up to the belly rubs.

"That sounds like wonderful idea." Siri says joyfully. "But I'm very tired and I think we should probably go to bed." Siri says. "Mel, would you like to sleep in my belly, or would you like to come out"

"I wanna come out." Melody says.

"I'm gonna go eat something" ammit says.

Siri walks into the bathroom in their bedroom, and then regurgitates melody into her hand, and then ushrinks her. Siri hands melody a pair of her pajamas, and allows her to change her clothes.

Once shes finished, she joins siri in the bed.

"Wow, this bed is super big!" Melody says "and it's super comfy too!"

"Mhm." Siri says. "Oi! Ammit! Do you wanna sleep on the bed or on the couch?"

"Bed dear." Ammit says as he walks into the room. "Just remember that we have to start packing, since were moving into the mansion. This weekend."

"Oh shit-i mean shoot! I forgot about that!" Siris says

"It's ok honey, we can just do it tommorow. But for now I think we should rest." Ammit says as he joins the two in the bed. He immediately sniffs melody and starts nuzzling her.

"Hes very cuddly." Melody says softly as ammit massages her bunny ears, causing her to purr slightly.

"He is." Siri says while blushing. "I think he just likes physical affection."

"Alright, goodnight you two!" Ammit says

"Goodnight honey" siri says.

"Goodnight." Melody says.

Both sirius and ammit fall asleep almost instantly, but melody has a bit of trouble sleeping.

As shes sitting there, trying to fall asleep, she feels something wet touching her ears.

She looks up to find that ammit is sucking on her ears gently, and purring slightly.

She tries to pull her ears out of his mouth, but as shes trying, she gets sucked into his maw up to her shoulders.

"U-ummm, mister ammit? Your eating me!" She says, getting slightly worried.

Soon, ammit got to her legs, and wasn't stopping, so she starts struggling, but is swallowed all the way

Melody ended up in ammits stomach, and found that she landed in a small pool of glowing liquid.

She squeaks as she sees the liquid rising, fearing she was going to be digested, but soon felt a calming feeling

"Mmmmm, maybe mister ammit isnt trying to hurt me." Melody says to herself, and just decides to fall asleep.

Siri soon wakes up, and doesnt see melody, so she starts to freak out "melody! Melodyyyy! Where are you sweetie?" she says as she gets up and walks around the room, finds nothing, then walks out of the room.

Soft squeaks could be heard from inside Ammit's gut as melody snored inside

Ammit purrs loudly as the fullness in his gut felt good.

siri walks back in the room, after finding nothing, and is freaking out even more. w-w-where could she have gone!?!? I mean why would sheeee...." she then notices ammit is purring, and knows that can only mean one thing. She looks at his belly, and sees a slight bulge. "* sigh* I should have known." Siri says. "Melody? You ok in there?" She says as she pokes the bulge.

Mel purrs as she slowly awakes

"Mmmmh...yea... " I say softly, feeling safe.

Ammit stirs as he's poked.

"That's good. Dont worry about being digested in there, he does this all the time to me."

"Ok." Melody says.

Ammit yawns, sitting up. "Mmmh.. " He mutters, licking Siri. "Ah!" He opens his maw wide.

"Well shit" siri says with a sigh.

Ammit chuckles and shoves her into his maw, purring as he slurps her up.

Siri slides down his throat and eventually ends up in his belly, with melody. "Well, I guess we're sleeping in his belly tonight." Siri says to melody

Mel nods and rests by Siri

"Yea." Melody says

"Goodnight mel."

"Goodnight siri" she says as she starts to purr and they both fall back to sleep.

The end

[spartalabouche]

You're not wrong for calling people out on their transphobia. I understand it's the internalized transphobia talking to you but sometimes it's better to call them out and judge how they respond and see if they A.) Actual grow and learn something they propably didn't know and have a meaniful discussion or B.) Block them and/or stop talking to them but

Think of it as fitlering out the transphobes cause your not only making sure you're safe but your also helping other trans and non binary folk fitler out those people and have a good time in groups or online cause knowing who you can trust with such important information(like telling a transphobe your non binary and they believe wholely that their is only "two genders") can help them a lot and i know i and a whole lot of people would care about that cause it can prevent a lot of things.

For my personal experience I had to block and stop talking to an ex friend white cis bi women cause she wholely beleive that "trans is a mental illness" and although i calmly told her it was transphobic she got into a hissy fit saying she was a true ally and explained why she was right and excused me of something and took my words of concern and called me things that were not true. And honestly after that, I just told to block me and never talk to me again. If i knew her the trans people she's friends with i would definitely warn them about how she acts when personally critzied on her so called "correct beliefs" cause i don't want those people getting information from her,but that's beside the point.

Either way it's really good that you want to call out those people, and i know a lot of people, especially trans people, very much appricate that

no yeah of course, it would never make me stop calling that shit out because in the end i DO know its harmful and everything my brain just wants to beat me to death whenever i try to do something about it </3 but i know its hurtful for other people too and most of the time nobody except the person who si actively being transphobic in the situation is gonna be like well maybe you should just get over it :/ so it is definitely just like. in my head. and i would prefer to make places safer for other trans people too obv and i think thats probably the main reason why i still do it anyway? because with me like i can ignore it and i do often because like i get it all the time especially because i dont ~look~ nonbinary i guess (wow boobies>? fake nonbinary) but i know other people either like cant take that kind of thing as well or itll just like ruin their whole day or some shit so i dont want to let it keep happening you know?

but yeah i know youre right and it is like still the right thing to do and i definitely wont stop i just have brain diseases and problems

[madamsixx]

Beyond The Leather Chapter 23: Deny Deny Deny

February 13th, 1986

Today was dress rehearsals because tomorrow was the big show. Our director was talking to us about everything that would be happening and our schedules. We all put on each of the gowns we would be wearing in our right spots. I and 5 other girls were in the cat walk more than the other girls. I guess it's because we already did runway and we knew what to do already. But this show was going to be really big. The amount of money we were getting paid to do this show was big too. I think I would like to celebrate by going on a mini vacation after this. Wait no....I won't be able to just yet I have Milan fashion week. So I guess after that.

Nikki called this morning before I left. He wanted to take me sight seeing. I agreed to go but on the condition that we go on the Megasightseeing tour bus. I still didn't get a chance to go on it. Were going to meet up after I'm done rehearsals and then from there I'll watch them play tonight. But I told him no partying for me. I have a big day tomorrow.

"Alright ladies I need you to all come out here!" The director yelled. "Ok this is what's going on with our schedule tomorrow." He brought the schedule out and started reading from it. "We have:

9:00 Catwalk 18:00 Presentation, Amanda Wakeley 11:00 Catwalk, On|Off Presents BFC 13:00 Catwalk, Supriya Lele BFC Show 13:30 - 15:30 DiscoveryLAB. 14:00 Catwalk 15:00 Catwalk 16:00 Catwalk 17:30 - 19:30 Presentation 18:00-19:00 Catwalk 20:30 Fashion Presentation

"Any questions."

We all looked at him and shook our heads no. "Good, get some sleep ladies you need to be here for 7am sharp."

We got back to the hotel and me, Rach, Mel, and Jade sat down at the hotel restaurant to grab some lunch. All that walking back and forth really made us hungry.

"You know what after the whole show I'm going to binge on cheeseburgers." Jade laughed.

"Your lucky I can't I have Milan fashion week next." I smiled.

It all went quiet. The girls looked up at me with wide eyes and parted mouths. Did I say something I shouldn't have.

"Wait so...so how the hell did you get Milan fashion week?" Rachel ask with confusion.

"Oh I don't know, Tamara my manager booked it for me." I responded.

"Wow Tamara really knows how to get what she wants." Rachel snorted.

"Is there a problem?" I snap harshly.

"Nooo it's just some of us have been working harder and longer. And it's not fair that because Tamara use to walk the Europe shows that she should get to bring in her models. It should be based on talent." She grumbles.

"Well then maybe get a manager who's been in the buissness and you'll get better bookings." My voice was extremely bitchy when I said that. How dare she come at me because her manager dosen't know how to book her shows.

"Alright girls girls stop with the petty attitudes were all friends and need to support each other." Mel budded in trying to calm us both.

We both rolled our eyes and continued to eat.

"Mani!"

I heard an all to familiar voice call me. I looked up to see that it was Nikki. He was standing in front of my table. He was wearing his long black shiney leather coat with leather pants. His hair was teased all over the place and he had his cross earing dangling low close to his shoulder. He was smiling down at me like a boy looking at his crush.

"We should start heading out to go sight seeing." He looked at his watch. "I booked the tour bus." He grinned.

I stayed silent. My heart was beating 50 times faster than a normal persons. I didn't know what to say or do. If I responded yes, the girls would look at me with disgust. But if I responded no, Nikki would probably get angry and start throwing things and yelling. And that would be embarrassing.

"Um Iman do you know this... thing?" Rachel sneered looking Nikki up and down like he was trash.

I can't do it, I cant say it.

"Nope." I said popping the p. I grabbed my drink off the table and sipped my cranberry juice refusing to look at Nikki.

He just stood there with wide eyes.

"Um she doesn't know you." Jade spoke up.

"Yeah now can you please leave our table. Were trying to eat." Mel sneered.

Nikki chuckled and shook his head. He put his hands on his hip and looked at me again. I could see him from the corner of my eyes glaring at me. I still continued not to look at him.

"He probably wants money pass me my purse." Rachel motioned for her purse and Jade passed it to her. She pulled out $10 and placed it on the table in front of Nikki. "There you go, if your smart you'll buy yourself better clothing. But we all know what you'll use my money on." She grins smugly.

Oh God!

Nikki's jaw clenched and his fist bawled up. He looked at me again and then started walking away.

"Ew as if Iman would ever get with a gutter rat like that guy. Ugh, he even smelt like one." Rachel laughed humorously.

Nikki stopped walking and stood there for a bit. I held my breath thinking he was going to turn around and start yelling. Thankfully he continued walking and I exhaled in relief.

"That's the one who called me a bitch. He's the one that said he knew a prettier model than me." Jade says.

"I think that's the band that's causing all the noise in the hotel. What's there name again. Um...um-" Mel snapped her fingers trying to remember.

"Motley Crue!" Jade spoke up.

"Right yes Motley crue." Mel said.

I wanted to get up and chase after Nikki but I couldn't. I put my drink down and rubbed my face. Why did I do that? What on earth made me do something like that?

"Rock music is the Devils music it should be banned. And those trash bag rockers should be out of business." Rachel hissed.

I ended up excusing my self from the table so I could go find Nikki and talk to him. I wanted to stop by my room first. When I got to my floor I saw Jess standing outside my door looking at it. I furrowed my brows and walked over to her.

"Is there-" I cut my self off when I read what was written on my door.

HALL CUNT 603

"That bastard!" I yelled.

"Oh so you know who did this?" Jess raised her voice pointing at the door. "I'm calling the police." She marched passed me and entered her hotel room.

"Wait Jess!" I followed her in. "I don't know the guy that well. We met and I turned him down that's why he wrote that. I only met him one time." I pleaded.

"That's dosen't give anyone the right to do that to you." She picked up the phone and started dialing 911.

"Please Jess." I grabbed the phone paniking and holding on to it. "I don't what anyone to know that someone wrote that on my door. It's embarrassing." I cried out.

She sighed and put her hands on her hips. "Ok." She moved and sat down on her chair. "What happened to your room?" She asked with worry.

"I had the girls over to hang out and they invited some random people I don't know to come and they thrashed the room."

Wow so I have become a liar.

"Iman there was coke in your room. That's not just a hang out. I'm worried about you. Your not focused on what your doing." She stood up again and walked towards me. "Many girls would kill to be where you are, making all this money, travelling the world, working with the most exclusive fashion designers, and acting in TV shows and movies. Now here you are distracted and me having to hear that my models room was completely trashed with coke bags all over the place." She frowned and crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'm sorry." I whispered

"Its ok, but you need to get your self together. Your a young girl and your career is going so well. Dont throw it away." She rubbed my arm.

I nodded my head and handed her the phone back. "Do you want to stay in here tonight?" Jess asked. "Yeah just let me get some things from my room."

I walked into the hallway and stared at my door. I can't beleive Nikki was being so petty. Yeah I know I pretended like I didn't know him, but other people in my position would have done the same. I walked into my room to grab a cloth with hot water. I came back out and started scrubbing my door. It was nail polish. At least it was coming off. An idea then came into my head. All I need is permanent marker and I'm good. I went back into my room and threw the cloth back in. I came back out and ran to the staircase to go downstairs.

"Hi um would you happen to have a permanent marker by any chance?" I asked the hotel clerk.

"Um...." she looked into her desk and pulled out the marker. "Here you go." She handed it to me. "Thanks." I took the marker and headed upstairs.

I walked to Nikki's door and started writing on it. He vandalized mine so I'll vandalized his.

DEVIL WORSHIPER 613

"Iman!" I tensed up when I heard a voice call me. I looked over and saw Jade standing by the elevator.

"Hey girl." I smiled hesitantly.

"What are you doing?" She raises her eyebrows in confusion.

"N...nothing." I stutter.

She crosses her arms over her chest. "Um...do you have any pads by any chance?" I quickly changed the subject to stop her suspicion on what I just did.

"Yeah come to my room."

We walk over to her room and I ended up spending about an hour in her room. We talked about the show, about hanging out after the show is done, and her family life. I really liked Jade she was very humble. I left her room saying goodbye and smiling to my self. My smile soon faded when I saw Nikki standing looking at his door in the hall way. He turned in my direction, he looked very angry. Like 1985 angry when I danced with Jon Bon Jovi. I let out a deep breath then walked down the hall way with my head held high like I was walking the runway. I kept my eyes straight and walked passed him.

"So your going to pretend like you still don't know me right?" He spat following me to my door.

I kept walking not saying a word to him. I got to my door and turned the door knob to go in my room. He grabbed the door knob and slammed my door shut and blocked me from going in.

"I guess I'm just a junkie loser gutter rat to you aren't I." He asked. "Aren't I!" He raised his voice and I flinched. I folded my arms on my chest and looked away from him. "I thought you were different than all those skinny stuck up models down there." He points his finger in my face. "But your just a fucking bitch just like the rest of them!" He shouted. He shoulder checked me and walked passed me to his door. He paused before entering his room to flip me off then slammed the door shut.

I put my hands on my face and let out a shakey breath of air. My body was trembling with fear. I felt ashamed about what I did because he didn't deserve that. But at the same time these are classy girls that I was rolling with. I can't have people talking about me with Nikki and letting it get in the news like before. And I certainly didn't want Tamara finding out that Nikki was here. It would cause a lot of problems.

I had to deny knowing him I didn't have a choice.

[oscar-writes]

Okay so these are my characters for my wizard story (actually in it guys and girls are called witches so I should call it my witch story technically) it's the whole there's schools for witches and these characters go to one of them. I swear it's different than harry potter.

One difference is they have normal classes for the students who want to go into the normal world. They also have math becouse I don't care how much I hate it you need to learn math. Also when they enter their 4th year they can start signing up (with a group) to do little "missions" which is essentially going to a town where their is likely a magical creature that could hurt normal people and getting rid of it. Which the school dose look into the level of each mission. Only if it looks low level can a 4th year go to one. Also they need to have a group of at least 2 and not be failing classes. It's on the field training.

Onto explaining the characters. Matilda: she's the narrator. The story is written as her diary. She starts the diary cause she cant beleive what's happening and if she wakes up and its empty she'll know that it was all a dream. She's an optimistic ball of sunshine. (Wow me making an optimistic character? That never happens!) She's also sorta the group leader? They don't call her the leader but she's the leader. Also yes her name is a reference to the book/movie matilda. I won't explain her whole life here but essentially she finds out she's a witch to start the story.

Marionette (I should probably mention her nickname is marionette, her real name is margret but she's called that like 8 times in the whole story) she's matilda's best friend. They were friends growing up and happened to both be wizards. She ends up dabbling in dark magic. Which is presented as not being a good thing but like she's not evil cause of it. (Dark magic is magic that either has a sacrifice [ie hurting yourself or someone else] or runs on your soul. Which all magic uses your soul but dark magic deteriorates your soul, there's more too it but that's the general explanation) she gets into dark magic cause she has a desperate need for knowledge and cant let herself not learn. She sees it as just another way to learn (I'm the same way. Id do dark magic to learn.) Which this need to learn in her could also partially stem from her never knowing her parents (she's an orphan) she likes the family that adopted her and all but she still want to know who her real parents were. Which she can use dark magic to find out the question that's been eating at her her whole life.

Dani. Now Dani also goes into dark magic but for a different purpose. Dani wants power. Again this is framed as not good but not inheritly bad. Her whole life she had little power (she grew up extremely poor and her parents divorced at a young age) she wants power cause she grew up with little and knowing that at any moment she could lose what she has. She finds out she has magic and finally has power. She can finally control things. She has the power she didn't grow up with. She likes feeling powerful and dark magic makes you powerful. Okay to explain how they learn about dark magic (it's actually explained early on but only briefly by someone who was afraid of it) essentially at 3am (the witching hour) the veil between life and death grows thinner so ghosts or spirits can cross and become visible to humans. They either appear where they died or where they were most affected in life. Basically marionette found out about this and started staying up to talk with the ghosts. (What's a better way to learn than talking to the dead?) One night Dani sees this and from that night on they both talk to ghosts instead of sleeping. One day in their 3rd year they talk with a ghost who was a dark wizard. He basically tells them about how when using the dark arts you feel unstopable. You know everything. Your powerful. And they both go, "sounds great", then they get into dark magic.

Claudius, he was raised in a wizard family. He meets marionette and Matilda on the bus and they become friends then. He's also constantly stressed out cause coming from a wizard family they put more pressure on you. He's also useful though to explain things that are just parts of wizard society. Like he explains dark magic(or at least how the general person view dark magic), cause he askes marionette and Matilda who in their family they get their "witch blood" from. To which they answer then marionette asks if she can use magic to find out who her parents are. He responds that that would be blood magic, which is a form of dark magic. Then he explains why dark magic is a bad thing (if like to note that all beginning mentions of dark magic are biased. The ghost has a bias to it and Claudius has a bias against it) he's used to explain the magical world but also to show what coming from the magical world is like.

Luna. She is the least important (still very important character) pictured. She is only in about half the story. She leaves the group in their 5th year cause of a few reasons. 1) she finds out Dani and marionette are using dark magic so she stops trusting them, 2) they like going on missions but the missions scare her. And 3) she dosent like magic. Magic scares her, she grew up in a magical family but none the less it scares her. She wants to be part of the normal world. She's probably the most differing opinion in the group. She dosent like magic, hates the missions, wants to join the normal world, her main purpose is to contrast everyone else.

I think that's all I'll explain in this post.

[typicalmidnight]

iron man 2 running commentary

okay so watching iron man 2 for the first time and i have a feeling im gonna have lots of commentary to share so it will all be under the cut! i’m gonna keep updating it as i watch!

*starts watching iron man 2 without watching iron man first cause it’s not on netflix and is only 2 minutes in but completely confused*

*questions my intelligence because i was able to understand the other marvel movies without watching other ones first*

*wonders if somehow i haven’t seen enough tony stark on tumblr to understand but i’ve somehow seen enough of other things to understand other movies*

*cue suprised and upset anon* sorry anon!!

okay anon!! help me pls! is the guy in the very beginning of iron man 2 someone from the first movie, and if he is who is he?? or is he new in this movie? edit: nevermind i looked it up

omg the first scene we see iron man is so cooool i love it!

holy sh*t he just landed on a stage omggg *freaks out so much because WOW*

im not even 7 minutes in yet but WOW IM SHOOK

i litterally just watched that first scene of tony/iron man in awe the whole time

“the possibility of world peace” BAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAAAAAA there’s a whole lot in store for the world, and i can guarantee it wont be peaceful lol

the stark expo is year long?!?!!?!!??? wow....

oooh oooh oooh that’s happy!

tony with kids awww

OMG THATS PETER PARKER RIGHT

STAN LEEEE OMG AWWWW

wait what did tony do??

AHHHHH pepper!!

does tony like pepper yet?? are they dating??

god tony. his sense of humor omg.

pepper isnt impressed lol

tony is so savage we stan a queen lol

you’re right, it isn’t canada cause we’re AWESOME and dont have ppl trying to get rid of iron man

rhodey!! i know who that is!

litterally everything tony says is amazing

oooooh whats tony up to?...

world peace? dream on tony

did he just say f**k you to tony stark? UM NO YOU DID NOT

oof the scenes with this bad dude are boring

wait i take that back HE JUST CUT A TV IN HALF!!

“wake up, daddy’s home” god i love tony

i think im getting too excited about everything lolll

tony insulting that robot arm thing gives me life

whats that thing in tony’s chest?? im guessing it has something to do with him being iron man and was part of the first movie

im confused about the relationship between pepper and tony

oooh shes ceo congrats to her!!

is this actually good tho?? the look on her face isnt great

oh okay its good she was just suprised

are those like fake documents or something?

OMG ITS NATASHA!!! AHHHHHHHH I LOVE HER SO MUCH SHE’S LIKE MY FAVE MCU WOMAN OTHER THAN MJ

i got way too excited there and hit my wrist on my wall and now it hurts

wait he doesn’t know nat yet??? HOW?!

also ummm natalie rushman?? that name kinda suits her?? ish idk

NATASHA IS A QUEEEEEEN!!!! I STANNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i also got so excited about nat that my eyes started to water

“i want one” okay tony nat could knock you out in a second and she for sure doesn’t need a man! also PEPPER!!!!!! LIKE WHAT ABOUT HER!

its the grand prix! it looks just like it does in cars 2!! lollll i was super shooketh about that when i made the connection

OMG ITS NAT AGAIN YAY!

WAIT is tony gonna drive that race car??? is he gonna race??? OMG i hope he does

also my wrist still hurts

wait pepper is suprised?? tony you didnt tell pepper? TONY YOU DIDNT TELL PEPPER??? TONY COME ONNNNNN

OMG TONY WHY PEPPER IS CONCERNED NOW

also is nat working for tony or something

oof its 12 am i should sleep i have school tmrw

haha bish that reporter lady left cause ur boring and nobody cares about you

AHHHH TONY’S GONNA RACEEEE

omg tony is racing tony is racing TONY IS RACING TONY IS RACING!!!! TONY PLS DONT DIE OR SOMETHING

hello my name is leea and i’m a huge drama queen that loves and cares so much about tony stark

OMG ITS THE VILLAIN GUY ACKKK TONY IS GONNA DIE

im still super dramatic lol

and also 100% convinced tony is gonna die even tho i know that wont happen

IM GETTING SO MUCH ANXIETY FROM JUST WATCHING THIS AHHHH

THE VILLAN GUY IS GOING SOMEWHERE ONTO THE TRACK OR SOMETHING ACKKKK

i hit my elbow and my head (not too hard dont worry) and the elbow is the same arm that i hurt my wrist so now my arm hurts from my elbow to my hand

WHAT IS THAT GUY DOING HE JUST WALKED ONTO THE RACE CAR TRACK

i litterally pressed play and then pressed pause two seconds later ooooof

peppers face omg she is shooketh lol

WTF IS HE DOING??!!!!!! also wth is he wearing on his chest?

OOOOOOOOOMG he has his slicy electricity weapon thingies TONY IS GONNA DIE AHHHH

HE JUST HIT A CAR OMG I HOPE THE PERSON IS OKAY

^big example of me being a drama queen and innocent and sweet at the same time

HAPPY HAS WHAT IM ASSUMING TO BE IRON MAN SOMETHING

TONY IS ABOUT TO DIE!!!

i paused it right before he hits the car omg the suspense!!!!!

ANXIETY LEVELS RIGHT NOW

OMG TONY NOOOOOOOO

IM BREATHING SO DEEP AND FAST RIGHT NOW IM PANICKING FOR TONY (it’s called hyperventalating. future me remembered the word lol)

dude WHYYY would you take off your helmet??!!!!

there is a dude coming to kill you and i think a helmet would help protect you idiot!!

OMG THERES A CAR COMING AT THE VILLAIN GUY

WHAT IF IT HITS HIM AND THEN HITS TONY

THEY JUST EXPLODED OMG

i just choked because i was like WHAT JUST HAPPENED

there are cars exploding behind him and this dude just doesnt care!!

why have i started saying dude?

owww my wrist hurts

typing hurts

owwww

its actually really not that bad im dramatic

is pepper gonna save tony????

does the case have the rescue armor ive read about?????

HE JUST TRIED TO KILL TONY

*facepalms* tony WHY did you just hit him on the head with whatever that was??? what did you think it would accomplish??????? this dude just sliced your car in half and tried to kill you, do you think you can take him out by hitting him on the head??? just get tf out of there!!!

OMG HES GONNA KILL TONY

i just hit my head again (not hard it fine)

OMG DID HE JUST HIT TONY

I THINK HE JUST HIT TONY

IM NOT OKAY

AND I DONT THINK HE IS EITHER

AHHHHHHHHHHH

okay i’m going to bed cause its almost 1 am and i have school. anyway, this is the 100th comment which is kinda good to leave off at! i’ll finish watching tmrw and keep posting!

okay i’m back! about to start watching the movie!

ahhhhhh poor tony!!! i’m only a few seconds in but already panicking for him!!

omg hes getting ready to kill tony!! and tony is just lying on the ground!!!

pepper and happy come save him! ! ! ! ! !!!!!!!

or nat!!!!

ahhhhhhhhh tonys gonna die!!!!!!!!!!!!!

with every second i freak out moreeeee

oh thank GOD tony moved!!!

that car just exploded omg tony almost diedddd!!!

AHHHHH TONY IS ON FIRE

how tf is he so calm!!!!????!?!?!?!?!?

i mean hes not that calm but way calmer than any normal human should be in this situation

is he just like used to people trying to kill him??

OMG thats soo saaaaaaaddddd

OKAY HERE COMES PEPPER AND HAPPY

please run over him!!!

OMG THEY ALMOST HIT TONY

but they hit the bad guy yay!!!

awww tony is bleeding!

well i mean thats kinda expected lol

oof tony is mad

OMG PEPPER IS SO PISSED

shes acting like a mom lol

OMG THE GUYS WEAPONS ARE POWERING ON

THEY’RE ALL GONNA DIE

TONY JUST GET IN THE CAR

OMG THE DOOR

TONY GET IN THE CAR AND HAPPY GET TF OUT OF THERE!!!!

tony just GET IN THE CAR

OMG THE AIR BAG

HE JUST CUT THE WINDOW

THIS SCENE IS SO INTENSE OMG

okay pepper i love you but JUST GIVE TONY THE CASE

tony your armor is taking WAY TOO LONG to get on!!!

AHHHHH LOOK AT THE ARMOR!!!!!

ITS SO OLD

like not old

but compared to his current suit

the “it’s nanotech. you like it?” one

its nothing

AHHH HE HIT TONYS ARM

AHHHH TONYS GONNA DIE

AHHHH PEPPER IS SCREAMING

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#drama queen much? #yes thats me

AHHH COME ON TONY

love how i’ve only gotten 3 more minutes into the movie and i’m already at 47 comments

OMG HE JUST WHIPPED TONY TO THE GROUND

omg poor tony!!!!

can everyone just leave my dad alone PLEASE

YAY TONY!! NOW THE BAD GUY IS ON THE GROUND!!!

oh thank god tony is okay hes not dead he won for now

eww he just spat out a bunch of blood

“you loose” how??? like what???

ooooooooooh wait no is tony gonna get in trouble.......

i forgot to say this yesterday but this whole scene with the guy on the track and stuff and the exploding cars in kinda similar to cars 2

i guess you cant have a racing scene in a movie without a car exploding tho

what is up with that guy with glasses?? like hes weird i dont trust him

why arent there subtitles translating whatever language they are speaking in (french? idk)

ya its french

ofc tony talks about the technology lol

and critcizes the bad guy’s

tony this guy tried to kill you WHY are you sitting down next to him??!!?

that guy is weird and kinda creepy

okay just f off senator dude nobody likes you, your opinion isnt valid, and i wanna punch you

“these suits exist now”????? wtf b*tch no they dont!

wait what ever happened to nat??

pepper is really responsible shes great i love her

what does that note say???

omg is that a bomb or something??!

why do guards always help prisoners escape like seriously

is that guy gonna take his place or something??

also he kinda looks like haymitch from hunger games

omg wait WTF WAS THAT

ALSO GUARD WHAT THE HELL

i was right! it was a bomb!

why did they throw him in a truck??

omg why are they in an airport?!

are they gonna help him escape??!!

why is there a table and people....

is that glasses guy sitting at the table?

i was right it is glasses guy!

i didn’t trust him from the start

why is he helping him tho...

friend? fan? what is going on?!!!???

YAYYYYY theres nat!!!

“erratic behaviour”??? what are you talking about???? he just saved himself from being killed how is that erratic?????!!

awwww poor tony

i beleive in you tony, and i love you, but no honey, you don’t know exactly what you’re doing you need help!

“software sh*t” aaaaaaaaaaahahahahhaahhaaaaa

make iron man look like an antique? ya no way is that gonna happen

is nat his assistant or something im a bit confused

aww tony is like so depressed i feel so bad for him!!

stannnnn nat

back on watch? what does that mean...

omg tony is so drunkkkkkk nooooo

ohhhhh tonyyyyy noooo come onnnn

you’re so drunk dude stopppp

god tony you’re so drunk pleaseee

wait why is rhodey fighting him anyway?

wow this is my 101 comment today and i’ve only watched 20 mins today

omggggg people are recordingggg this isn’t gonna end well

*sighs* oh god tony dont yell at them whyyyyy

omg tonys in the fire place!!!

omg that just happened. they just fired at each other.

also just saying tony, he does have what it takes to be war machine cause he continues to be...

ohhhh is tony okay??

im confused tho why did they start fighting in the first place?

okay i just looked it up, it was because he was being irresponsible and drunk, and putting people at the party in danger, and he wouldnt stop

ngl its getting kinda tiring to keep updating this but i’m gonna keep going cause i want this record for myself, and i’m not gonna quit something

ok i’m gonna continue the movie tmrw cause its prob gonna be a snow day (lol i left off at 111)

[g4r-b4ge]

Katsudeku fluff/headcannons

Ik I’m a bts blog but like have you seen bakudeku??

And if you come for me with the “the ship promotes abuse” I’ll whoop your ass faster than tenyas recipro burst

Anyways

They never really like officially got together

How i imagine it is that izuku cant sleep so he decides to do some outdoor training and katsuki happens to be there himself

So they end up training together

Releasing all their frustration that had pent up over the past weeks

And then the cliche thing happens where izuku ends up managing to pin katsuki down to the ground

And izuku gets like really embarrassed and flustered

So he starts nervously rambling about how sorry he is,,,,,,, without actually trying to get up???

So katsukis laying on the ground beneath him like >:T

Katsuki ends up using one hand to like squish izukus cheeks together

Which finally gets him to shut up

So katsukis like “you talk to much”

And then izuku starts profusely apologizing like the little bby he is

So katsuki just kisses him

!!!!!

It takes izuku like a full 10 seconds for him to register what the heck is going on

But eventually he melts into the kiss

When they break apart they kinda just stare into each other’s eyes without saying anything

Izukus like o/////o

While katsukis like ;P

Then they kiss again

,,,,,,

And again,,,,,,,,

Until someone from the class 1b dorm sees them and ends up screaming “WHAT THE FUCK”

So they run

And katsuki starts laughing slightly

And izuku almost screams bc,,,,,, what is that sound,,,,,,, he’s never heard that before,,,,,, someone pinch him

So katsuki shoves him playfully and acts offended

Even tho he’s in a surprisingly good mood

Probably because now he doesn’t have to worry about hiding his feelings for izuku

lil baby :’(

Afterwards they don’t even try to hide the fact that they’re together

Not much is different between them in public except for small displays of affection that everyone seems to dismiss as Bro Touches™

Like they’ll be holding hands

Or izuku would rest his head against katsukis shoulder

And after like 2 months of dating, katsuki has his arm around izuku and they’re walking to the dorms with the class

And denkis like “wow!! You guys are so much closer now then you were!!!!”

And then everyone tunes in with agreement until tenyas like “it’s nice to see you two finally becoming good friends and getting along”

And izuku and katsuki both exchange The Look™

And without hesitation katsukis like “dude we’re dating???”

And everyone fucking loses their shit

No like seriously

Uraraka passes out

Kirishima almost chokes on his muffin

Denki trips and falls

Even Todoroki almost freezes the entire courtyard

Minetas the first to recover and is like “bakugo,,,,, you’re gay?????”

And katsuki sighs like “no Dekus actually a girl and has been the entire time YES IM FUCKING GAY WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU UGLY PERVERTED MIDGET”

Katsuki ends up getting overly angry and finally loses it

“YOU SHITS DONT BELEIVE ME???? YOU WANT ME TO FUCKING PROVE IT TO YOU HUH????”

So katsuki aggressively turns izuku towards him and quite literally smashes his lips on izukus

And then they quickly forget the situation and where they are and start full on making out in front of the entire class

Jirou covers denkis eyes

When they break apart and izuku sees the looks on everyone’s faces he almost passes out of embarrassment

And katsukis like “YOU BET YOUR ASS THAT I DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT YOUR OPINIONS OF US AND IF YOU HAVE ANY COMPLAINTS YOU CAN KINDLY SHOVE THEM UP YOUR ASS”

although he secretly cares about whether they accept them or not

Katsuki is actually a very loving bf

When they’re alone at least,,,,,,

Izuku knows that he’s trying to make up for how shitty he was when they were kids

And it makes him really happy

Even tho katsukis efforts may go unnoticed for everyone

But izuku knows him

It took katsuki like half a year to gather the courage to officially apologize to izuku

He did so when they were on a ‘date’ on the dorm roof looking at the stars and just enjoying each other’s presence

Izuku was so caught off guard that he almost started crying

The apology wasn’t much

Just a simple “I’m sorry for everything”

Then katsuki started rambling

And ended up saying something along the lines of “if you want to break up then i understand,,,,,, and if you don’t forgive me then that’s okay too”

Izuku slapped him

He had never seen his hot headed kacchan like this

And seeing him so sad and guilty about it was somehow worse than how he’d been treated

It took a while but izuku finally started to understand that katsukis “fuck off, go die” is his messed up way of saying “i care about you, stay safe”

Which comes with the funny scenario in class where katsukis yelling at izuku things like “YOU BROCCOLI LOOKIN ASS I HOPE YOU DROWN IN SEWER WATER!!!!” izukus just like “aw thanks kacchan i love you too :) <3”

Katsukis a really good cook fight me

Izukus fav thing is when he ends up sleeping over at katsukis or vice versa, katsuki would usually end up making pancakes for breakfast

And he’d always want to repay the favor but,,,,,, izuku cant cook for shit oops

Izuku gets lessons from sato on how to make bacon and pancakes

And katsuki wakes up to the smoke alarm

And sees his soft bf covered in flour and red cheeks

That’s when katsuki finally understands what ashido means when she says she’s “busting an uwu”

And since izuku is such a crybaby (i can relate) and felt so embarrassed and helpless,,,,,, he started crying

And poor katsuki doesn’t know what the fuck to do

Through ugly and wet sobs izuku manages to let out a “i just wanted to make you pancakes”

Katsuki has the audacity to laugh at his boyfriends state

“D-don’t laugh at me! This is embarrassing,,,,”

“You stupid nerd. C’mere”

Katsuki smiles slightly and hugs izuku closely, letting out a hearty chuckle

“YOURE SO MEAN TO ME STOP LAUGHING OR ILL HATE YOU FOR REAL”

Katsuki just lets out a content sigh in response

With izuku being his personal therapist and helping katsuki with his anger problems as much as he can without overstepping, it’s like bakugo finally found peace

Don’t get me wrong katsuki is still a cheeky and angry little shit

But seeing him genuinely smiling and laughing is a little more common now

The class thinks izuku has kidnapped the real bakugo and replaced him with a fake

Ok i need to stop im getting way to carried away oops

Bakugo katsuki isn’t as heartless as everyone thinks in this essay i will

[mo-ondial]

GUYS IM STILL FUCKING SCREAMIMG OVER HTTYD 3

i just. ah. AHH.!!..,??? !!! !!!! !!!!! czthgjbctigfyhxfuvchgxdyibgyub

i was eight when the first movie came out and i watched it so many fucking times, like. remember the guy that watched shrek in his head? I DID THAT. I KNEW EVERY LINE. I WOULD BE BORED SOMETIME AND JYST BE LIKE. where’d i press pause last time? oh RIGHT it was here, and i would continue. i had a piece of paper that had an order of which scenes went where and with that i could pull every scene out of my memory to watch. it was like a party trick, one time my father was like “hey come here” and he asked me to recite httyd and you fucking bet im like this. is berk. its twelve days north of hopeless and a few degrees south of freezing to death… another time hes just like “skip to scene 3” and fuck yea my eight year old ass goes ugh, the gods hate me. some people lose their knife in the mud... i drew shitty fanart. made up wild fanfiction in my head about elemental dragons. my FRIENDS were a part of my dragon stories i made up. i worked for WEEKS hand-sewing a stuffed toothless, with toothpick bones and attention to detail and i had an invisible pen with the light at the end that i put into it so that it would glow like he was shooting fire. i was fucking wild.

and then the series??? was amazing. i watched it every week. i NEVER let my parents delete it off the dvr. im not much of a tv person but i watched every episode so many times. the writing wasnt nearly as good but there was no stopping me i will stand behind the show with my life. remember heather?? heather was SO GOOD. 

now is when im really filling sketchbooks with dragons. i made and astrid cosplay, i made the bird skulls out of salt dough and accessories out of tin foil and took the time to crochet and wig that looked like a hat. 

and dont forget those specials... they were even worse i loved them.  and then??? the second movie and i was dying. there were so many episodes about stoic and he just.. i .. im .. no. not allowed. remember thornado??? gold. i was NOT ready. and his mom is?? wow. and?? hes OLD like, what???

small side track the second movie was when i got a toothless buildabear. now. i REALLY fucking wanted this thing for my ninth birthday when the first movie came out. and my sister told me that i was going to to get it!! wow!! so excited!! she said that they already got it and it was waiting in the basement for my birthday. turns out that wasnt true and i was sad that i didnt get one. they went out of stock and i didnt get my toothless because i dont like... say anything. really. so im telling this to my mom and she had no idea so you know what fucking happens when the second movie comes out and buildabear toothless is back? im fucking driving across town and accross ANOTHER town (our buildabear closed since) and marched into that shop full of children and i got myself the toothless that i wanted for seven years. he is bEAUTIFUL and VERY HUGGABLE. anyways

and then my sister and i are in my grandma’s guest bed over christmas and were going to watch netflix together and she’s just like “oh look theres a dragon thing?” oh word they got riders of berk on netflix? WAIT WHAT IS THIS

and then there was RACE TO THE EDGE and it was FANTASTIC! whenever a new season came out, always by total fucking surprise to me because the timing was kinda random and i never figured out where they announce releases, i spend a weekend watching everything and have a little dragon phase all over again because. theyre just. so good. starts out with hiccup... he’s gotta explore. its just his nature to explore and invent and do it all with his friends. and now he CAN and its just... wow. fuck. AND HEATHER CAME BACK I LOVE HEATHER!!! SHE WAS A MAIN CHARACTER FOR LIKE PRACTICALLY A WHOLE SEASON!!!! but she had to be alone again... what a girl. and that was a lot yall. six seasons is. a lot. so much more to explore and everyone changed so much and then just... the ending. the ENDING!!! you see alvin, ah, yes, remember alvin??? and POOR STOIC!!! the mourning we were missing from the second movie before it even happened... hiccups realizing his loyalty to berk is versus his need to explore. hes like his awesome hermit mom but hes also like his stubborn loyal dad. and i just CANT BELEIVE they. burned the dragon eye. that was it, that was the start to it all... how do you burn all of that amazing INFORMATION. all of it gone, because their enemies cant get their shit together. that was the end of exploring. the kids were growing up. they left the edge and thats just... its the edge. thats their home. how can you do this. fuck, it really is over. i cant get over it. 

and. now. the. THIRD MOVIE????? i went in fucking hiccup clothes, buildabear toothless in hand, and wow. okay so at first i was like “why u gotta give toothless a girlfriend? unnecesary” but it was actually perfect... she was wild. she represented toothless’ wild roots and that he had to return to it, he had a responsibility as the new alpha. next to eachother you really see how much toothless is just... domestic. with the narrowed eyes like first movie toothless, like... wow. WOW. yall remember the gift of the night fury and the isle of night and all of that about toothless having no one like him, but hiccup had no one like him so they were together. but hiccup did have people that were like him, people there for him, and toothless found people like him too...

and they referenced the show !!!! fishlegs made a dragon trading card the fucking nerd... you see all the dragons from drob and rtte!! smothering smokebreath was in one! we saw fireworm dragons! the glowing algae from the flightmare episode! and did you see hiccup’s toy!!! hiccup had his stuffed dragon in the flashback!!!! the one from his mother, the one that he was afraid of that years later trader (read:traitor) johan found in a fishing net! tuffnut said he’d been to two weddings. guys. he has. that one he mentioned where he got officiated and then when he officiated fishlegs and ruffnut’s accidental wedding. not to mention. RUFFNUT! holy fuck i loved that monolougue. i hate when ruffnut is treated as just an accesory to tuffnut and i was so happy to see this perfect scene, so perfectly ruffnut and totally herself and not to mention HILAIRIOUS. 

im just. fuck. FUCKKK!!!!! FUCK!! theyve been through so much... toothless was a part of his LIFE! without toothless hiccup wouldn’t be hiccup. without hiccup toothless wouldn’t be toothless. but people have to grow up. and that’s really the saddest part. toothless is now immortalized as a childhood dragon. it was a perfect, incredible, amazing childhood and absolutely everything became a piece of what hiccup became. he isn’t a kid anymore. hiccup is someone else. hiccup is someone who has a history, a past he might mention once of twice... of a different boy. someone who was a kid. a kid who loved his dragon and loved all dragons and all he wanted was to invent and to learn and to know and to connect people and make peace and save everyone and make a utopia. 

but now its over and im crying 

[the-firebird69]

cork starts a war when we have a war as he thinks he is the demon got him to admit it but we cannotaffordt it he is a loose cannon toostupid to folllow it looks athimoddly ohhh so you beleive and sees his attitude your queer and show it you are weak and show it your posessed and fn dumb and other see it and run from him encouraginghim.tonight is fantastic they see huge huge figures and are clobbered giatn guns brouth tobear stops then hurled at them and gawking and pics too...and tons of ladies teir ladies with pics and its huge htey felt teeny and small degraded beraded,,as he needed and i.  then this you shoudl not tell them what to do  hahahaha i almost fell off my chair and she started laughing oh why and is it as if they are likecork and she laughed yeh thats why, billium say it and there they are. ok we see and why...tons know no...billium see it beforeand detect behavior incidents and stuff mssing and more and see hwo and warn and tards f it up so we have a motif and modus there they goyou suit up and grow so thy are at 15 to 20 foot from thanksgiving and hurl in and are eaten fast and are astounded thier clothes ropped or burne d off smells of plastic and flesh makes all sickeven you mr a we have seen ittoo you look eyes wtter system says it you hurl  a bit stop and nothing...it is you holding it but we had to say it this is the smelliest stuff i have evern smelled and he says it cork ate raw turkey for days and that is why you  rancid shits hhaaha lol trumps plan backfires...oh no it is onhe says so what you have ajob and he is who silver surfer you think he went right to it nyc tonsof sightings tons. and allover and up north mb and yes there too everywhere andth normal ones the uk tons and they are off are cloaked so you cant see them...and here too silver surfers huge huge flocks in nyc and it is e wave they will surf too..and the AI and i ison we see..this we can doand ihandout  mac thank God this has been a massiv trialand huge huge exhuasting bhavior by cork and trump exhuasting het old me trump has to and you konw he isnt abad guy and then i saw it later....he sees i dontge it then shows me, whoah you got caught the lady and i went oh eww darn...and then itwasove na d i see.  it.  wow. relate but a certain way may work to calm the situation..mb.  we hpoe so had a huge huge fight tons died and it was a mess. tommy f ahhhahaha and i say well it is deeper but trump is right.  try is good notto bad..though he looks like afatslob so well  ok Zues Hera this sucsk tommy f  yeh it does..no fun no down time and really these just pressure  me here and ohters all over if they leave..to nothin so i say this t cork your a bad person mostly to yourown,you dont get demons...didnt wont and it iis plain to see  to me i say you need to be need to off my case due to math of the REAl demons and itisinwritings and mike can send you it.. Zues Hera concern for you and yourself and sometimes thm and i amawrckand goingdown so yousay it is them and it is...we saw it wow and will remember..but yousay nobody ever does it has been seen over andover. incident after incidenet washed out of morlock then newbies or non witnesses...so i teach andhand itoff if i have to bja wesee he wontdo much notmany do but it is hard to.  and i get it those things are thetanks we want and need and he says they are, and can bemuch much much larger and you see cartoons a lot of it is realistic, they fry huge areas and we saw it have tapes cant show cork but mb if we do it together he has some now...and we want to see it...we can meet at the samespot.   cork agrees. and cork thy are not him he is an inventor. mac i willkilhim if he hits me again... bja fukc you then your out bja mac imoff imout ofhere .... bja blab blab fu moron you try ftoharm me all the timeyu fn fag to be an inventor your not. fu dead meat and i isuse an apb on you danny g here andpriority adn allotehrs of youadn mac you gotit right Zues Hera i sure did tis sh is for te birds they get eaten up or fried they areshit losers and rape us of stuff to walk upgawk and it is losersh lost it al we bill thm now and in wirting. we seehwo assk him h esays nopeyou too ar e bad. mac

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tWoswwyONY&list=PL30DUHE8KOSOWpSj2rQoODBgH3aBwSEQa&index=18&t=0s&app=desktop

[thehalfworld]

Fanfic MST: Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen, a Twilight fanfic [part 3]

I have to warn you all that this chapter has a rape scene in it. It’s completely ridiculous, and I really don’t know if that makes it better or worse. Proceed with caution.

Recap: Edward gave into tempation and tried putting the moves on Tiaa. She went along with it at first, but then pushed him away because they were in public and Edward already has a girlfriend. Edward seems to think Tiaa is a vampire, even though she doesn’t appear to be and his thinking she is doesn’t really make sense. 

Chapter 1 Previous chapter

AN - hi guys hope u like this one im quite proud of it! 

That’s a bit worrying.

thanx for the suport from my frends love u girls!glad u like it! oh an VINCENT ur so dumb of course tiaa didnt go to math in only her bra shes not a total ditz! 

Hey, you never said she put her shirt back on! Actually, you also described Edward ripping it off her, and we know it’s made out of fishnet, so… I kinda doubt she still has a shirt left to put back on.

one more time...DONT READ IF U DNT LIKE IT!

I can’t imagine not liking this story. I’m being serious. It’s a masterwork. It’s right up there with “My Immortal” in my eyes.

NO frickin flames what is the POINT of flamin ppl there is NO POINT so f off!

I think the point is to annoy the author. Which appears to be working.

Capter 3 – uncle larry

Wow! Really looking forward to the capter!

I sa t alone watching tv at dave and maries house. I couldnt stop thinking about my encounter with Ewdard Cullen earlier that day. He was so beuatifull and sexoy with such amazing hair and eyes I could hardly believe he had notice someone like me! 

Just me or is she a tad fixated on his hair?

Also… Tiaa isn’t the sort of girl who blends in, and she knows it. She’s aware that she’s pretty and she’s used to getting attention — both positive and negative — because of her looks. She’s also loud (she yelled at Edward when he bumped into her), and she dresses in a manner that… well, let’s just say most small-town high school students don’t dress like Tiaa. This girl isn’t ordinary and she’s well aware of it. Why the false modesty?

But I was angry at how he had made me feel, how I'd burnt like crimson hot flame wean he touched me and how he'd not listened to me when id' told him to fring off, and how he dared to touch me at all when he had a GF anyways, even if she was a mean girl with an ugly heart and not that hawt. 

Not only has she not met Bella yet, she hasn’t heard anyone talk about Bella either, so I don’t know how she came to the “she’s a mean girl with an ugly heart” conclusion.

But nomatter how much I try to hate him, I simply couldn't. Suddenly the phone range

"hello "

"hey, is that altantiana?"

"yah who is this?" I aksed.

"its Mike nooton from your class! 

She hasn’t met Mike yet either, unless that happened in the deleted scenes or something. I guess, if he called her house phone, that he could have got Dave and Marie’s number out of the school directory… but this seems a little weird if they’ve literally never met.

I was wondering if your wanted to go to La Plush with me too morrow night maybe? 

To clarify, he is talking about a beach. He means La Push. Stuffed animals are probably not involved.

Theres a party on the beech with whole crowd of us going and I thought you seemed relay nice so I thought maybe youd want to me my date please? -

I can maybe buy that a high school boy is desperate enough to ask a random pretty girl to a party with him in the hopes that maybe it’ll kindle some sort of romance, but this is a really bad way to go about it. Asking out a girl you’ve never met is… not the best plan. Why not just frame it as inviting her along because she’s a new student and it would be a good opportunity for her to hang out and make friends? You don’t have to be explicit about your crush before you’ve even had a conversation with her.

Also I think Mike is already dating Bella’s friend Jessica, but fuck her, I guess.

"arent you the guy who hangs out with all the pathetic chearleaders and stuff?" I asked

"you mean bella and jessica's gang? 

I’m gonna wait a bit to talk about how weird it is that Bella is hanging with a “gang” of cheerleaders, but like… why does Tiaa know Mike hangs out with them? Again, this is their first conversation, and (as far as we know) the first time she’s even heard of him.

Sometimes I guess but theyr'e way shallow and not as hot as you. 

He’s maybe undermining his own point there.

And they can be mean sometimes.-"

So… like anyone, then?

"then why do hang out white them then you shallow CREEP!and why are you askin me out when you harely no me mike! Cos u think im' hot? Why cant you see your just as shallow if you want to date someone just cost of what they look like - I'm not THAT pretty anyways! 

Oh, Tiaa, you and I were on the same page until you pulled the fake modesty card. Besides, isn’t this a bit of an overreaction? He asked you to hang out with him at the beach, it’s not like he’s proposing marriage or anything.

And even if i was, I'm SO screwed up in the bran you cant even imagine! u would no want to date me if you new how screwed up I was!"

What exactly does she mean by “screwed up in the brain bran”? Like, are we talking legitimate mental illness, or is this just teenage angsting? And, in either case, what exactly is her problem that makes her undateable? This is about the vaguest possible rejection, and I don’t know if she’s implying something is actually wrong with her or that she’s just Not Like Other Girls.

"I would, tia, beleive me I would! Your so beautiful you cant even imagine. Your so pretty people lose there minds when your around and forget there names and forget to brethe! 

That’s your only reason? She’s pretty? Weren’t you saying something about cheerleaders being shallow a minute or two ago?

How can't you have noticed that? 

Decent point, actually. If your character is dropping jaws and turning heads with her beauty, either she’s aware she’s beautiful or there’s a reason she doesn’t realize. Like… maybe Tiaa thinks the people staring at her are doing so because of how she dresses, not because they think she’s pretty. Tiaa has actually seemed pretty aware of her effect on others throughout, though, so unless she’s just playing modest around Mike for some reason this scene doesn’t make any sense.

And I don't CARE how screwed up you are! It only maked you more interesting! 

He’s not even gonna ask for clarification on that?

Your cool and different and you are honest about stuff! you are right to be angry with me. I'm sorry for benign shallow and dumb just give me a chance to show you how much I care, please? "

The argument he’s making would probably be way more convincing if this wasn’t, you know, their first conversation ever.

"well...ok maybe ill go along if I dont have anything else to do" i said, not believing a word he said about how pretty i was.

Oh, come on.

"thank you altantiana thank you so much!" he sounded so happy I couldnt help but smile as I put the phone down but my smile faded as I return to my thoughts. Mike Nooton was kinda cute and seemed like an ok guy but he was nothing next to Ewdard Cullen. 

Yeah, I guess when compared to the weird dude who tried to fuck you in a locker room and threw a shirt at your head Mike really isn’t worth a second thought.

Even though I was anger with edward than I have ever been with anyone in my life and part of me wanted to chop his head off with a sore, a part of my soul would all ways remain in that coridoor where we had kissed so hard and passionably. 

My mistake, they were in a hallway, not a locker room. Not sure if that’s better or worse, but, depending on how busy that hallway normally is, it’s probably worse.

I creamed myself. 

Didn’t need to know that.

My heart had soared that day like never before, and i new that no one else would ever make me feel like that again, then I thought how he was a cheater and a bastard and my face burnt with shame. I couldn't beleive I had behaved like such a hore. 

I mean… she didn’t, really. She went along with his advances up to a point, and it doesn’t really show good judgement on her part, but he was the one acting like a “hore” in this situation. Putting the moves on a random girl in a public space when you’ve already got a girlfriend? Keep it classy, dude.

I was scared of the affect he had on me.

Effect. “Affect” is a verb. Nice sentence otherwise.

(Okay, if you’re a grammar pedant, “affect” isn’t always a verb… it can also be a noun, when we’re talking in a psychology context, which Tiaa isn’t.)

"bye tiaa! We'll be back on Thursday ok?" mari put her head rind the door suddenly

"Ok then, have fun" I wispered clammily..dave and marie where visiting relatives for a few day.

Convenient. Two less characters for the author to have to deal with.

Wait, no, oh my god, I just remembered what happens in this chapter.

"you look so pretty" she says, smiling -your the prettiest gril i've ever seen!”

I… okay, that’s some natural dialogue.

"omg whatever" I reply. I hated it wen people say that. 

Come on, girl, it’s just a compliment! Not like she’s hitting on you! At least I hope not.

I pulled my blond hair over my face. I was wearin a short hot pink dress cut low with black lace frills at the bottom and black lace stocking.

I kind of like that Tiaa is a goth girl who likes bright pink. There are plenty of real-life goth girls like that, but you pretty much never see them in fanfiction.

"daves brother larry will be looking after you wile where gone you'll be ok when where gone wont you tiaa? I hate to leaven you alone like this!"

You know “leaven” is what you do to bread to make it rise, right?

"i don't need a freakin babysiter u no!" i was so embarasing, I could look after myself!

Freudian slip? I mean, she is pretty embarrassing.

Marie smiles and leaves the house.

Marie doesn’t give a fuck, it seems.

"greeting a;latnaniana my names uncle larry" said uncle larry, he came in threw the door he was fat and bald with tiny black eyes and a red face

You know he’s a bad guy because he’s ugly. That’s how it works!

"Hey - i said

"your the orphan arent you" he says "is it true you kiled your mother when she gave birth to you?”

Nice to meet you too, Uncle Larry.

"Wat!" I cry, my eyes filling with tears

"your an evil bich arent u? Go outsite and wash my car" he shouts angerly

I’ve just thought of a fun game. There are five more chapters left. Let’s all place bets on which chapter Uncle Larry will get horribly murdered in.

I stood up and left to wash his car. I got soap and a bucket, afraid of what he would do if I refuzed. I went outside and started to wash hush car it was a red porche. He came outside and wached me and I new he was waching me! 

I know the implication is he’s watching her in a pervy way, but if I was making someone wash my car and I didn’t particularly like them I’d keep an eye on them too.

After a minite he came over and hit me hard across the face

"wft!" i shouted

What Fuck The?

He poored the bucket of water all over me and hit me again,. I was wet and crying and he started to rip my dress and bra of me and rip my clothes. He touched my naked breats and I try to push him off me I screamed at him to stop but he did'nt. He bent me over the bonet of his car and spanked me on the ass for half an hour then he pulled my panties down and started to rape me!

I really don’t want to be laughing at a rape scene, because rape is one of those things that’s just inherently unfunny, but… this is testing me. I mean, an entire half hour of spanking? The dramatic announcement that he began raping her after he forcibly stripped her naked and spanked her for thirty minutes, as if this is a surprise? The fact that all of this is happening in plain view of any neighbors Dave and Marie might have? Good lord. I truly do not know how to react.

I also have to wonder why Tiaa makes little attempt to fight back here. It’s pretty reasonable to freeze up when you’re violently attacked, but Tiaa has proven that she’s both capable and willing to fight off anyone she perceives as a threat (kung fu babie!) previously in the story. Is Uncle Larry too physically powerful for her to win against? We don’t really know how big he is compared to her, and Tiaa has been described as strong and fast previously. Both of them are unarmed, and, if there are neighbors, the noise should alert someone to what’s going on (Tiaa has been shouting/screaming throughout). Why is he getting away with all this? Oh, right, plot reasons.

"stop raping me!" I cry but he didnt stop! 

Shocker.

The pain was terrible even tough his manhood was small. 

Didn’t need to know about his dick, thanks!

I cryed and cryed but he didnt stop for hours and when he finally stopped he left me on the floor and spat in my face and left me there. 

Wait… hours? This guy has impressive stamina.

I pulled on my clothes and cryed madly and ran off into the seething darkness of the midnight street. I ran and ran un till I came to some woods and then I fell down in the woods and cryed.

“Seething darkness of the midnight street” is a pretty good phrase, actually. I mean, super cheesy and doesn’t really mean anything, but if this was lyrics some alt-rock band wrote I’d accept it.

Suddenly a blast of white light exploded in head and my mark on my hand burned like a flame. I closed my eyes and saw the face of a tall white man looking over me with no expression, his eyes were burning red and his face glimmered cold and bright as the moon,. 

It was… VLODEMONT AND DA DETH DEALERS!

I fell back from the brightness of his body, his hair was dark as night,.

It was… VOLSEMORT IN A WIG AND DA DEATH DEELRS!

"atlantiana?" he whisperd in a voice softer than clouds -my daughter?-

Well, we all saw that one coming a mile off.

"omg" I whisperd as my mind went blank and the world went dark.

I hope she whispered the acronym instead of saying “oh my god.” Her dad will be totally confused! Old people don’t know how acronyms work!

Next chapter

[commiemoth]

all the sweet and soft asks except the one abt athleticism lol

Sweet- i think my favorite type is either blueraspberry jolly ranchers or snickers! Depending on The Mood

Smooth- i leik, 2 beethoven songs and 1 chopin song otherwise i h a t e because ive been forced to learn it most of my life and its repetitive and pointless to me, also has too many rules with no purpose (double sharps instead of just writing the note) (writing something in a key with 5 flats or sharps and then using naturals for 90% of the notes) sucks man

Baby- im not ready to be a parent!! I feel leik i might be in the future but right now im terrible with kids and theyre kind of annoying sometimes, to much responsibilty an stuff

Courage- whos “athlete” idk them lol

Lovely- it depends on whos askin! Its usually some for of ‘gud’ tho, if ollie is askin its either “mmmmgud :3” or “just shoved a sunny d up my ass” :/, if jack asks its usually “ *a picture of doctor eggman but it has no limbs and massive balls* ” or something similar and! I always try to remember to ask the other person how theyre doing too!

Cutie- my favorite orange thing is either an orange (the fruit) [controversial] or! Orange juice or sunny d :P

Skin- yell heah i want tatoos!!! I want a snake going spiraling down my arm so the head is on my wrist and the tail is starting in my back, a rose on my other arm so that the rose bud is in my palm and the stem spirals up my arm and ends on my back, and a crescent moon surrounding a heart with a sword through both on my back really big! Thats my thing! , and maybe a minimalist solar system design on my chest!!

Pictures- art is very important to me! When i grow up i wanna be an artist leik in music, visual art, and writing . Its my passion and i would die if i had to do anything else for a living :/

Stars- enthralling!! One word isnt enough tho space is so cool leik: vast, quiet, solemn, majestic, space is everything!

Religion- i dont practice any and im not really affiliated with any either but! Im not sure if this is that related but i really wanna get into witchcraft more and start practicing!

One- no! I hate competition it always makes me feel bad whether i win or lose :/

Makeup- i dont use any makeup yet but as soon as im out of my parents house i think my most used products would be eyeshadow and lipstick (in lots of cool colors)

Sheets- i sleep with one blanket in the summer or 2 in the winter, i would have so many more but if the blankets get out of alignment it bothers me so much i cant sleep and more than 2 is too many to keep track of

Chalk- uhhhhhhhh im? I think im best at photography maybe? Or english when we do poetry but thats not often, i wanna be better in art class but i still need to learn more, my worst subject is math without a doubt!

Blush- so! Easily! Embarrassed!!!!!!!! If you say something nice about me ill die on the spot, if you show me physical affection and i leik you ill get blushy and start makin weird noises cus idk wat to do!!!!

Water- i think it was over the summer? That was the last time i cried emotionally but i cry sometimes when listening to songs but idk if that counts

Karma- i dont really know wat i beleive? If something gud happens im all of a sudden: “wow im so lucky!!!” And if something bad happens im: “theres no such thing as luck! Take fate into my own hands!!” So idk :/

Lips: uhhhhhh a kiss from ollie cuz im gay :/ or one of those gingerbread snaps cookies things my dad got from his dad!! Theyre so gud i wish i could taste them again! Or hot chocolate is always gud :3

Cupcake- cookies and cake!! Pie ans ice cream are gud too but sometimes too hot or cold messy :/ Cake Is Best Without Icing

Music- this is.a hard one uhhhhhhhMadeonPorter RobinsonNeroChoosing only 3 isnt enough aaaaaa!!

Night- during school leik 4-6 hours, on weekends around 11-13 but i go to bed at leik 3AM, during the summer leik 14-16 but i go to bed at leik 6AM :/

Smile- my day has been pretty gud so far!! Glad to be back in school and i can see ollie at least once a day :3

[hello-wtfudgeismylife]

Nostalgia

Recently, some reason, my sister and i have just been remembering stuff from when we were kids, like the Avengers: Earths Mightiest Heros theme song, cause we watched that whole series. Or 321 Penguins cause wow it's been a while.

And one thing i just remembered is the two times i felt i was flying. It wasn't flying exactly, but let me just describe it.

I dont remember my age but both times wer ein elementary school. The first time, i had been like going to go down the stairs by two, cause why not. Its fun. I was like 5 or whatever. Except i could swear that at the top i had sort of lept, cause 2 stairs is pretty wide for 5 year old or such legs, but instead i sort of leap-floated down to the landing step instead. Course no one was there but it felt light, and like flying. That was the first time i 'flew'.

The second was when i had a helium ballon. Again don't knkw exactly when, but i had let myself be lifted by the ballon, indoors cause its not a good dea to have helium balloons outside. But the balloon hadn't floated all the way up or anything, i could just hold on and move through the air, cause i still weighed something of course, so the balloon wouldn't leave, but im light enough to float. And im sure i tried floating again other times, but simpley it didn't work anymore.

Naturally i think these memories or such are a product of childhood imagination along side memory corruption and the lack of perfect details, or maybe they were dreams when i was younger, but the point is. The point is that, regardless, i distictly remember the feelig i had in boh scenarios and doing them and what happened. I can no longer visulise them, but i know how they felt, physically. And because of them (amoungst other factors), despite being atheist, if i were to ever beelive in anyhing, id beleive in magic/fae/realms and the such. I mean, we already know there's spectrums of light people cant see, and the fact tht there's still particles were pretty sure exist but can't prove, so an energy signiure we haven't discovered yet or being able to be in a slightly differing phase/plane or such of existance really doesn't seem that far off. Still would like proof, but they seem at least a quarter way plausible. Magic less so, but that would just be a science and energy not yet understood as a science so give it time and it could make sense, but whatever.

[ilygsd]

200918: 1

someone fuck me in the asshole honestly im shocked how can this dude NOT UNDERSTAND??? hes really good at cognitive empathy, he has a nice moral compass he follows ”be kind, be nice” but he cant fucking FEEL what hes doing

and like....... thats important to me??? and apaprebtly NO ONE has ever criticized him for it or whatever? like his ”intentions”?? ofc he cant help he doesnt feel emotional empathy but he literally cant spot the DIFFERENCE!!! he’s like ”as long as im kind and a nice human being” like bitch NOO!!!! i like you!!! you ”like” me, but you like me bc u think im interesting and you think we can learn from each other. which also is important OF COURSE!! but BITCH I LIKE YOU BC I FEEL FOR YOU THATS DIFFERENT

we’ve known each other for like 3 weeks, met 5 times and we’ve already had 3 major fights??? mainly over text/phone but still.... he’s so fycking mean? he really tries to manipulate me that ugly fucking whore!!! he guilt trips me all the fuxking time i cant say anything he’ll explode and i need to apologize or some shit otherwisw it would never end. and i know what the fuck he’s doing because i used to be the exact same. honestly we are similar in many aspecrs EXCEPT for the ”feel”-part. i feel TOO MUCH. and the difference is that im not manipulating him.... because i KNOW i cant. i know he’d see right through me, there’s no POINT

like i used to be like that too, maybe i still am. i ALWAYS win fights, no mercy. its like i turn off my empathy during fights but AT LEAST i feel AFTERWARDS!!! he doesnt. he realize he did wrong bc of his ”morality”. bitch i could CRY, because he literally scolded me over phone when i was on the bus and there was NOTHING i could do to stop him. i tried to talk to him but he only continues cus i fkn refuse to oBEY HIS ORDERS??? but i cant hang up either cus then he’d never talk to me again and i’d feel like shit......

he’s pretty calm irl, ive never seen him angry irl and i hope i never will holy SHIT!!! he’s so good at hurting, like he turns everything youve ever said to him against you. he’s so fucking good at it cus he’s so god damn good at reading people. thats what makes him so charming. i DONT UNDERSTAND how can his precious girlfriends not have CARED??? apparently i’m the first to criticize him and one of the few to trigger him and im like..... bruh how?? i literally dont say anything and you fucking explode?? are your family and friends blind??? are you doing this to me because you THINK the manipulation will work??

also...... he sees it as something positive that sick bastard. hes like ”well i think this could be good” and im like ”uhhhh bitch it is I who get scolded???” and hems like ”but i feel and too :((” he’s such a fkn dumbass. this is his politics too. he believes in reverse racism and is probably sexist too smhhh. i was like ”are u dumb, u hit me in the face and tell me its bad for you too bc u feel vad abt hitting me??”

i am impressed by how he chose to ve ”kind” or whatever instead of psycho even though i still think he’s selfish and does it for his own gain aka he LOVES to learn things, experience things. he’s very ambitious, energetic and curious. but he doesnt understand. he’s like ”well im kind to you thats all that matters?”

the thing is, he’s not even kind??? he basically forced me to taste his disgusting vanilla coffee OTHERWISE he would take the blanket away??? he sees it as teasing and it kind of is yeah..... if i didnt know that his 1000% serious?? he honestly think its a ducking compromose?? im lile ”uhh a improvisera would be for me to taste a little coffee and then you to give me another blanket or AT LEAST stop nagging”

and when i finally tasted the ugly coffee he wanted to know if i thought it was good and i said ”yeah its ok” bc im not a liar, it was better than expected. and hes like ”thats all i wanted to hear” I KNOW BITCH, YOURE NOT THAT FUCKING SLICK ITS PRETTY FKN OBVIOUS

also he always adds rules??? everythings always on his conditions? also he kinda thinks i should be thankful for him not being an asshole??? or maybe its that i actually VRITICIZE his intentions. yeah i think that brothers him. i think he thinks it entertaining because he doesnt care when he get angry. i didnt use to either. i could just forget te fight and move on, it wasnt important to me. but fuck now when i KNOW what its like......

im like ”ur threatening me to drink coffee” and hes like ”arent u happy i put extra much vanilla for you?? i usually drink much stronger but i didnt for u? arent u happy i gave u the blanket? i actually was goong to put it on the couch and leave u cold but i didnt?” BUT HE ONLY PUT ECTRA VANILLA SO I WPULD TELL HIM IT TASTES GOOD SO HIS EGO CAN BE BOOSTED

calso he kinda forced me to drink alohol?? i was like ”im feeling like shit if i throw up its tour fault and you will have to clean up” and he’s like ”no you’ll have to clean up” BITCH I SONT EVEN WANT TO DRINK YOURE PUSHING ME

soooo many red flags fuck i really SHOULD leave now when i can and now when im not too emotionally invested. but oMG IM SO CURIOUS!!! we’re so similar yet so different!!! we can relate to each other in some ways the bad thing is that since he actually cant FEEL empathy, he doesnt BELEIVE me even when i tell him the truth. im not sad bc i want to manipulate him. im not even sad that his words are huetful even though they are, because i know he’s fucking weong. im sad because he treats me lile this. im sad because i like HIM!!! i genuinely LIKE HIM!! but he doesnt fucking understand?? he doesnt understand the difference between LIKING someone and LIKING to HANG OUT with someone. i like him because i like HIM I FEEL HIM, he only likes to hang out with me.

he talks about this as ”his way” and ”bot traditional” way of feeling. his version and definition of ”love” and ”affvtion” is so fucking weird??? we were cuddling and he said ”wow u make me feel more” LMAO BULLSHIT. I CALL FUCKING BULLSHIT YOU ONLY SAY THAT CUS U THINK THATS WHAT I WANT TO HEAR

im partly okay with him being low empathy, he cant help it and i actually genuinely believe he believes he’s doing the RIGHT thing. like he believes it so much and... i guess he is?? like what choice does he have? he cant fucking feel, the least he can do is be kind anyways. he cant help that its not genuine and i guess i’ll have to accept that, but i al NOT GOING TO FALL FOR THOSE CHEAP TRICKS. i didnt say anything but i bet he would even understand if i pointed it out. he’d be like ”but its true!! i feel more with you” no bitch, you only say/think that because you WANT to be with me and now when you know thats what i want to hear thats what you say. smhhh

also i remember in the beginning when i kinda confessed and he was like ”it takes time for me to like someone” and in like???? uhhh okay? and i was anxious abt it cus i really didnt understand what the fuck we were and he just kept ”it takes time for me to like someone” to i was like ”okay but its not like im super super deeply in love with you or anything?? like.... i can like people??” BUT NOW I FUCKING UNDERSTAND HE LITERALLY MEANS BASIC ASS EMPATHY. IT TAKES TIME FOR HIM TO FEEL BASIC ASS EMPATHY FOR OTHER PEOPLE

i just dint understand how the fuck he’s able to still have a family and friends and stuff. how..... how can no one care??? i said ”theyre being manipulated” and hes like ”no i just dont think they care. they just like that im kind and dont think much abt it” but both youre not kind??? but when i tell im its not genuine he goes with the ”well we’re all egoists anyqays, we’re all doing things for ourselves, ur egoist too” yeah but i can still FEEL

i dont wanna be a dick. maybe its just me?? maybe its just because i feel so much and thats why i really NEED that genuine feeling?? no, i know why...... fuCK ME!!! i CARE because i like him 😔😔 bc i think hes so smart and interesring and i see him as someone potential and thats why i keep test him like this 😔 and its for no use because i cant change who he is 😔😔 would i care about these things with some other guy??? no. because i sont care abt them, but i care abt him and thats why 😔😔

hes not even guilt tripping me for it (wow ”yay” ) he just doesnt understand. he doesnt understand the difference or why i find it important. he just sees it as ”him being different” and ”him feeling in another way”. thats not it. this is not normal. this is because of childhood trauma and im so fucking sad for you, no offense, youre doing tour best but thats so sad

well anyways, even if i were to accept his WEIRD ASS DEFINITION OF LOVE he STILL needs to fucking stop with his abuse??????!!!! out of the 3 fights he has told me 2 times he’s going to ”try” but bitch WE KNOW HE WONT. HE CANT! HE CANT BECAUSE HE CANT FEEL WHEN ITS ENOUGH. IF HE FELT EMPATHY HE WOULD KNOW WHEN TO STOP. BUT HE CANT. im just waiting for him to explode someday. i literally asked him ”what should i do next time” and he’s like ”idk, i cant tell you what to do”. omg its true. theres nothing i can do, he’d still be so pissed at me no matter what. and me just asking him is such a BIG RED FLAG like we ALL KNOW.... or not him. he’s like ”maybe we wont fight” LMAO HAHAH YEA BITCH NICE TRY BUT WE WILL BC U START IT

hes so fucking sensitive. we had a misunderstanding, he started to scold me, i got mad and he kept gaslighting ”no i didnt scold you” and when i called him out on gaslighhting..... oh boy...... he got SO FUCKING MA, accuses ME of gaslighting him?? accuses me of ”starting” it with my ”passie aggressiveness” ok maybe i was passive aggressive but i WOULDNT IF HE DIDNT SCOLD ME ABOUT IT. i cant ever criticize him because he goes bananas. ok maybe im not the best to criticize others, im very....... bold. BUT I KNOW IM RIGHT??

last time he got angry because i said ”ppl listen to you bc ur a white man” and he started to bring up his childhood, told me im insensitive, theeatened me to hang up, never talk to me again if i didnt ”respect” him aka ”obey” him, he guilt truppen me, told me no one would want to me with me blah blah blah

a part of me is happy u dont really fall for that bullshit. like yes if course im HURT!!! but as i said, im not really hurt because he really is trying to hurt me. he really WANTS to hurt me. he even takes pride in it?? ”im very good at making people feel very good, and im very good at making people feel very bad” it makes me so FRUSTRATED BECAUSE I LIKE HIM I WANT HIM TO SEE AND UNDERSTAND SO HE CAN GROW, THAT IS EMPATHY PEOPLE, THAT IS GENUINE LOVE

we’re so different. we use completely different tactics. when i used to manipulate my ex.... i NEVER did personal attacks like he does. i never used smth personal AGAINST them.... i was more about.... guilt tripping? more about ”u dont love me, pity me”. im not saying thats good, i was horrible but what he does is just MEAN. i dont understand how anyone can keep up with that kind of behavior. i even told him when we fought and he responded ”well i need to keep up with u”. he always does that and that actually hurts because i like him. and he knows that. he always says ”ive been sitting here, listening to you, been kind to you and....” etc. etc

WHYYYYYY am i the only one criticizing him?? WHY is he like this to me? is it because i see through his ugly acting?? is it even possible for us to ever be healthy together? we can learn from each other, no doubt. but is it healthy???

when i tell him i feel bad bc of horrible manipulative and emotional abusive things ive done he understand but hes like...... ”thats ok dont be so hard on yourself, just learn, everyone makes mistakes” but like no?? THIS IS NOT OKAY!!! he also keeps saying i’ll become like him and like ”stop caring” bc ”we cared too much before” but NO I DONT WANT TO BECOME LIKE YOU!! I ADMIRE YOUR THINKING SKILLS AND ID LIKE TO LEARN SOME OF THAT BC WERE POLAR OPPOSITES YOU THINK, I FEEL. YOU CANT FEEL, I CANT THINK AND HANDLE MY FEELINGS

i dont WANT to. thats the difference. im not satisfiera!!! i told him i dont want to apologize to my ex best friend (who i treated like shit) until it feels GENUINE and hes like ”pfft... its better than nothing. she wont know if its genuine anyways” and im like bitch.... i WANT to be genuine because i think she would appreciate it more and I would feel better about it and hes like ”oh so its cus u wanna feel good about it” OH MY GOD HES SO ANNOYING

i really should pack mt bags and run. why did i have to fall for him UGHHHHH. why do i let him treat me like this when i’d never let ANYONE else do it. its so weird, im very picku with guys. i dont fall for ANYONE. i ALWAYS pick nice and kind guys so why him? i thought he was nice, yeah fair enough, but i still like him even though he isnt? i dont think its me being awfullt desperate, i really wouldnt let anyone be like this. like BOY HE BEKIEVES IN FUXKING REVERSE RACISM DO YALL THINK I WOULD HANG IUT WITH SOMEONE LIKE THAT??? or maybe i am desperate. yes i am. im desperate for the connection i feel. thats kinda sad. i feel a strong bond to/with him, i feel like we’ve been through some things and i still look up to him and how he has recovered. he gives me hope that i can also be happy one day. I DONT WANT TO BE LIKE HIM but i still want to learn from him. and i sont think i will ve like him because im not a sociopath. i just want to take the good stuff and then become better

omg i really am similar to him. im really here feeling superior. i do feel superior because i can feel. i feel superior and a part of me wants to use him. hes a real challenge. i dont think i can maniplate him, it would be amazing to have him feel something for me...... IH MY GOD THIS IS SUCH A FUCKING MESS. NO THIS IS NOT IT. I DO LIKE HIM IM NOT LIKE HIM. IM NOT THAT FUCKED UP

i get really annoyed when he claims im similar that i also want to control and manipulate and im like NO BITCH WERE SIMILAR BUT NOT HERE, like not when im trying to be calm and grown up and have us silver things, not when im crying because he huet my feelings but................ maybe hes right. or maybe hes just manipulating me??? maybe its both. ofc its both. i WAS HURT, i actually HAD anxiety!!!! if that bastard could feel, he would have known it was GENUIKE. AND HE WOULD HAVE KNOWN IM TRYING TO BE CALM AND AN ASULR BECAUSE HE SURE AS HELL FUXKING ISNT AND I ACTUALLY LIKE YOU BITCH I WANT TO SOLVE THIS FOR MY OWN SAKW TOO SO I CAN BE WITH YOU WITHOUT FEELING LIKE A CHEAP WHORE WITH NO SELF RESPECT.... BUT YES OF COURSE I WANTED HIM TO FEEL FOR ME TOO. IT DISTURBS ME SO MUCH THAR I DONT HAVE AN EFFECT ON HIM HEA LIKE A STONE AND OFC IF ANYONE SAW US FIGGT I’D LOOK LIKE THE CALM ONE. hes wrong though bc i used to think like that too with my ex bff. i used to think damn shes only like that so she can feel superior to be and humiliate me but no. she was right. she was more mature than me and she did what she had to do AND THATS WHAT IM DOIKG TO SO FUCK YOU

only way for me to manipulate him would be sexually. he’s that pathetic. a fucking horny dick, thats what he is. but it wouldnt even be manipulation because honestly if hes that fucking horny then its his choice. its not like i’d ever r*pe him, i dont even wanna have sex with him that guy has some HIGH STANDARDS i feel like a virgin next to him but since im not he would also expect more smh. i dont even dare to kiss him back. im only used to virgins so they dont have any experience lmao but... fuck i cant this time

he’s so cockt though for real. he brags about this and that all the time which is kind of his charm..... if it wasnt for the fact that hes always so competitive and serious LMAO. like it would really hurt his ego if i questioned him. imagine me telling him his sex, kisses, brain/psychology or smth was bad. i swear to god he would want to scold me and call me some real nasty things but he probably wouldnt

[madamsixx]

Beyond The Leather: Chapter: 9 Just A Dance

Warning: Explicit language & Abuse

Tuesday, March 12, 1985, LA

I arrived back in LA ready for my first photo shoot ever with Sports Illustrated Magazine. Tamara wasn't able to come with me but I felt alright. It was a beautiful day outside on the beach. I was wearing a beige bathing suit and had my hair tied back into a pony tail and put a red band around my head. I looked utterly gorgeous. They gave me different poses and surf boards to hold up. I even had to run on the beach and jump in the air for them to get the right shots. My mom opposed of naughty shots. So we kept it PG.

"Alright that's a wrap!" The photographer yelled. "You did great."

"Thank you." I smiled. ________

The limo pulled up to the condo. I felt so amazing after doing my shoot. I was excited for what the future held for me. I couldn't wait for the magazine to come out.

My chauffer came out and opened the door for me, I furrowed my brows when I noticed a familiar car and a familiar man stepping out.

"Hey princess." he smiled. I just walked passed him, I dont care about a single thing he had to say.

"Mani please ok I wanted to come but-"

"But what Nikki, what? You got high, you got drunk what?" I yelled.

"I'm sorry." He started following me into the building.

"I dont care Nikki ok!" I yelled again. "You didn't care about my feelings when you stood me up."

"Princess I'm sorry ok, there was a lot that was going on with me and I couldn't come." Nikki moved in front of me to stop me from going up into the elevator.

"Your sorry means nothing to me." I stated.

"Please Mani let me make it up to you and take you out tonight." He cupped my cheeks in his hands.

"I...I can't, I'm going to a modeling event tonight." I say removing his hands from my face. "I dont want to see again." I pressed the elevator to go up and watched it shut leaving Nikki on the other side.

________

The event was nice. I wore a short black turtleneck dress with thigh high red heel boots and a small arm purse. I had a stylist dress me in the latest hottest fashion. The stylist says I should show off more of my legs because they were long and beautiful. I was solo at this event, Tamara says I should get into the habit of going to places like this alone. It will help build my self esteem. And help me make friends. Which was true because I was meeting so many other models. There was Cindy Crawford, Grace Jones, another model named Iman she was gorgeous, and Lisa Hoover. I really related to Lisa because she was a model and actress. Not to mention she was a teen just like me. We talked a lot about having fame at a young age. We even spoke about other celebrities that we haven't met yet and would love to meet.

"Oh my goodness my number one celebrity that I need to meet is Michael Jackson."

"Oh I met him at the AMA's he's so nice and funny. I'll introduce you one day." She said.

We talked some more and exchanged numbers. Until I excused my self to go to the washroom. While I was in the stall I heard some one come in and say shes in here. I opened the stall door to see none other then Nikki with a security guard handing him a hundred dollar bill.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked with wide eyes.

He looked like he was dressed for a special occasion. He was wearing a long ivory jacket with a black shirt and black dress pants.

"I owe you a night out remember." Nikki smirked and crossed his arms over his chest.

This guy is unbelievable. I can't beleive he would pay a security guard to let him get in here. Well...... actually I can.

"I'm not going anywhere with you, your crazy."

I walked towards the sink washed my hands and tried to walk passed Nikki. He grabbed my arm and pulled me back to him.

"oh yes you are sweety." He whispered. _____

"Put me down now Nikki!"

Nikki had thrown me over his shoulder and had taken me out of my modeling event. He threw me into the back seat of the limo and shut the door.

"Wow Sixx guess she really did put up a fight." Tommy and Vince laughed.

We arrived at this big building and it was nice. There were a lot of people and paparazzi packed outside the building. "Where are we?" I asked as we pulled into the parking lot.

"Were at the Hollywood Palace it's a night club, trust me Mani your going to have alot of fun. Your going to see so many fucking rockers here."

We got into the club and he was right. There were so many rockers here. They were all drinking and smoking. Men were grabbing girls and taking them upstairs and to the bathrooms. It was like the rainbow but I liked this place better because it at least had a dance floor.

On another note Nikki kept a tight grip on me. I noticed men were looking at me non stop. They sipped on there beers while keeping there eyes gazed upon me but none of them would dare come and talk to me. When ever a guy would approach me, Nikki would give them a death glare and tighten his grip on my waist. He would introduce me as his girl and make sure all the guys knew that. I saw the Ratt boys and the rest of the Motley boys. I realized Mick was the only one missing. Well he never like joining these parties with them anyways.

"I'm going to go see if they have cranberry juice at the bar." I say to Nikki while moving out of the booth. I head over and ask the bartender if they have cranberry juice. He nods and pours me some. I decided to get on the dance floor with all the other people. They seemed like they were having fun and I wanted to join in on it.

I made my way to the dance floor and started moving my hips to the music that was playing. I turned and started sipping my drink when I noticed Jon Bon Jovi staring at me. The world froze before me. He was so handsome and a good guy of rock n roll. Why couldn't he chase after me instead. He wasn't like the rest of these rockers. He was humble, caring, and sweet. And so were his songs. He was like a boy scout. He eventually locked eyes with me and I turned away quickly, but curiosity killed the cat. I turned back around and he was still looking at me. He smiled with his bright white teeth and I swear I felt butterflies in my stomatch. He started walking towards me and my eyes widened. I thought to my self that Nikki would kill me, but when I looked back and around the club Nikki was no where to be found.

"Hey there." I turned back around to see him standing in front of me. "H....hi." I smiled nervously. God this man was too good looking to be true.

"Your Iman darlington right?" He smiled.

"Y...yes I...I am." God Iman your such a nervous wreck get it together.

"I watched your new TV series that came out last year. I cant wait for season 2. I'm just glad cause instead of waiting to see you on TV I get to see the real beauty in front of me." God he's attractive.

"Haha your so sweet."

"I'm Jon Bon Jovi." He stuck his hand out for me to shake. I took his hand and shook it.

We talked a bit more and I must say I was definitely smitten with him. He was a charmer I told him a little about my self and he did the same for me about him.

"So... may I have a dance?" We held hands and started dancing. It was funny seeing him try to dance because he couldn't. I didn't care though I just kept watching his face.

The fast song slowly started to die down and then I could here Cyndi Laupers new song start playing Time after Time. I felt Jon's arm wrap behind my back and pull me closer to him. We were so close that we could have become one. I wrapped my arms around his neck and starting grinding my front close to his. The friction was so intense that I could feel my nipples hardened and well....I could also feel something hard on him too. I bit my lip and he put his index finger under my chin to pull my face close to his. It was about to go down when I felt a hand grip my arm. It was Nikki and let me tell you he had steam coming out of his ears.

"Nikki im-"

"Shut the fuck up or so help me God Iman, and you... I'll deal with you later." He pointed at Jon. Jon looked terrified but not as much as I was.

The crowd watched as Nikki dragged me by my arm to the back of the club. We stopped by a security man and he let Nikki into the room behind him. Nikki physically threw me into the room nearly making me trip over my heels and fall to the ground. He slammed the door behind us and as I turned around he shoved me into the wall. Holding a tight grip on me.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" He snapped looking at me in my eyes.

"W..we were just dancing Nikki I promise." I studdred, and was shaking. I have never seen him like this before. He was so angry and I was so scared.

"Dont fucking play around with me!" He snapped again this time loosing more of his patience. "You know that your mine and you allowed Bon fucking Jovi to get a fucking hard on by pressing himself on to you!"

"Nikki I'm sorry it was just a dance." Tears were forming in my eyes.

"You know what, I think you fucking did this on purpose because I didn't show up for your stuck up over privileged princess ass when I was suppose to. So you decided to get even with me is that it!" Nikki yelled as his grip became tighter around my arms. "I brought you hear to make up for the fact that I didn't show up and you repay me by trying to FUCK BON JOVI!" He shouted while rolling up his fists and punching it into the wall right next to my head. I screamed and covered my head moving it down thinking he was going to punch me. I sobbed and was shaking. This was a new Nikki Sixx one that I have never seen before.

"You really fucking hurt me Iman." His voice was shaking.

I finally looked up at him and his eyes were dark red. His fist was bruised and bloodied from the punch. He shoves himself off of me and walks away slamming the door shut, leaving me by my self to collect my thoughts on what just happened.

I stayed in the room for the rest of the night. The door suddley burst open and it was Vince and another girl kissing each other. He bent her over on the couch and hiked up her dress.

"Oh Vince stop theres some one in here." The girl spoke up. Vince looked up and saw me.

"Hey Mani you ok?"

I looked up and burst into tears. "N..no, I didn't mean to get him up set I'm sorry." I said with a shakey voice.

Vince told the girl to get out and came and sat beside me.

"You know Nikki is a complicated guy, he cares more about himself than caring about any one else. And I know what I'm talking about because since the Razzle thing happened not once has Nikki come to visit me, or call me, or even ask how I'm doing. Your crying over a guy who will never love you. I mean he was dating this really nice girl Lita Ford and he could have settled with her and maybe have something good. But he choose drugs." I nodded my head.

"He really scared me vince" I sniffled.

"Yeah he's a scary guy, but your a tough chick Iman. Don't forget I've seen you handle all of us in New York remember, especially the way you beat Nikki up." He chuckled.

"Oh yeah." I giggled.

"Dont ever waste these tears on him. You deserve better. Nikki is a waste of time and he's not worth the ground you walk on. Trust me, you can do way better than Sixx." He rubbed my back and I leaned into him.

The car ride was quiet. No one was talking. Vince had a girl that he was making out with, Tommy was passed out, and Nikki had a girl with him too. They were giggling and laughing with each other. I just stared out the window not wanting to say anything that would cause him to lash out again. We arrived at the condo. The chauffeur opened the door and I quickly got out.

I walked into the apartment and Tamara was still awake.

"Oh girl how was-"

she stopped talking when she saw my arms and how my make up was running down my face with my tears. She looked mortified.

"Iman honey what happened?" She walked towards me.

I dropped my purse and ran into her arms and burst into tears. I needed to be comforted right now and then be lectured later. ____

Wednesday, March 13, 1985

"In other news, theres some juicy gossip in the rock and roll world today. Motley Crue's bad boy Nikki Sixx was spotted with the darling actress and model Iman Darlington at the Hollywood Palace Night club on Vine street yesterday night. It looked like the two were cozying it up as Nikki Sixx had his arms tightly around her waist and gave her a kiss on her head. Our sources say that it's not the first time that the two have spent time with each other. Last year in November the two have been meeting at the Bronze Cafe. Is the bad boy of rock smitten with the young darling. This is Rachel Rochester and your watching MTV."

Tamara sighed and turned off the TV. She didnt say anything, she just sat there and stayed silent. I didn't know what to say. I mean I told her what happened. But I knew this time I really messed up. I wasn't suppose to be with Nikki yesterday night I was suppose to be at the modeling event. But that wasn't the worst of my problem, my sisters watched MTV. And they called to ask what was going on. What really hurt me was that my mom had a few words with Tamara like it was her fault this happened. But it wasn't, it was mine all mine.

"Tami....I'm so so so so sorry." I sniffled.

"You have an interview with Barbara Walters later. And then your going home for the rest of the months so you can decide if your career is important. Cause I'm done trying to tell you that this man isn't good for you."

She stood up and started walking away but then turned around "I mean look at you, like just look at your self. Your bruised from a junkie who your not even dating. But is claiming that you belong to him. You were suppose to be at that modeling event meeting girls so that you can make friends." She shook her head and walked off to her room and slammed the door shut.

I got up and walked to the mirror to look at my self. I burst into tears, my career was important to me. I've worked hard to get where I am and I didn't want her to quit on me as a manager. I had to get my self together.

At interview..

I sat nervously on the couch waiting for my interview to begin. One of the staff was told to come and get me when they were ready. Tamara sat with me still not saying anything. She was really mad. My leg started shaking and I started fiddling with my fingers.

"You need to relax." She put her hand in my leg to stop it from shaking.

"I'm nervous." I said in a low voice.

"You'll be fine, just answer the questions honestly. And do not talk about Nikki." She warned.

Barbara- I have a special guest here tonight for a one on one I interview. She has stared in her first blockbuster movie in 1983, she has been modeling since the age of 13. And has made the cover of Sports Illustrated Magazine. Shes also staring in the new comedy sitcom that came out last year and has become a big hit. Please welcome the darling, Iman Darlington.

I walked out smiling and extened my hand out for her to shake. We then leaned in and gave each other a kiss on the cheek.

Iman- Hello nice to meet Barbara it's a pleasure.

Barbara- The pleasure is all mine. Please have a seat.

Iman- Thank you.

Barbara- So, you have made the transition of going from teen magazines to now doing the cover of Sports Illustrated Magazine. Congratulations. What does that feel like for you?

Iman- It feels great. With teen magazinenot im the audience is more towards teenagers reading it. Which is great, but I always wanted to go beyond that. I want to be taken serious and pose for the biggest fashion magazines that there are out there.

Barbara- Well it looks like this is a beginning for you. Now as for the acting how do you manage doing both.

Iman- Well my manager is pretty good at doing that. She works with my mom and makes schedules that work for me. Because it's not just modeling and acting I am doing. Im also finishing up high school. I have been home schooled since I got into the acting world. And my home school teacher somtimes flys down with me so we can get my work done.

Barbara- Wow it's good to hear that. Not many people think about wanting to finish school when they get fame.

Iman- It is true. But having an education is somthing that means alot to me and my mom. She always says that you need something to fall back on. And I do agree with her. After I graduate high school, I will enroll in on line classes for university.

Barbara- Your mom must be very proud of you. Now I heard you come from a single parent house hold with 3 other siblings. How has that been growing up for you.

Iman- It was hard. My mom and dad divorced when we were very young. And my dad choose not to see us. So my mom had to raise us by her self. She put her self through school and became a doctor. I appreciate her so much. Shes my role model. And me and my sisters have so much respect for her. I try my best to always make her proud. Cause that means more to me than anything else.

Barbara- Does your mom agree with you dating Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue?

Iman- Oh no no me and Nikki are not dating. I have bumped into him a couple of times in LA and New York and we have had conversations. But that is about it.

Barbara- The kiss on your head and his arms around your waist are telling people other wise.

Iman- Haha I can imagine. But we are not dating.

Barbara- How did you guys meet?

Iman- It was in New York 1984. I was filming for the TV show and I ended up going out to alittle diner down street and he happened to be there. We actually got into a fight haha.

Barbara- Wow what did you fight about food?

Iman- Hahahaha nooo but he did throw food at me and I was not happy. I refused to give him my attention. Than a couple months later in the same year. I ended up back in LA for a photo shoot and decided to go to the Bronze Cafe and I ended up seeing him again.

Barbara- That is truly amazing. For the fact that you would even see him again in the same year a couple months later. Well he certainly got your attention because you two have been meeting up at the Bronze cafe and attending the Hollywood Palace Night Club.

Iman- We did become friends. But we are two different people who come from two different worlds. And I'm not into some of the stuff he's into. So I keep my friendship with him as just friends. I would never want more than that. It was a one time thing going to that night club. I don't really go to night clubs.

Barbara- Well a lot of people say opposites attract. But I can understand where your coming from. You guys do come from two different worlds. And I can't see you with Nikki Sixx. But moving on is there a season two of the TV series in the works?

Iman-Yes there is, filming will be in May in New York again. I'm very excited.

Barbara-I am too. It was very nice talking to You Iman. And congratulations on your cover for Sports Illustrated Magazine again. I can't wait to see you in more.

Iman- Thank you it was very nice talking to you as well.

I got up from the chair and went straight to the bathroom. I needed a moment to breath. I wasn't suppose to talk about Nikki but Barbara brought him up. I thought about back in 84 when I said I didn6t want to give Nikki my attention. But she was right he had my attention. My full attention, and the world is now knowing this. I am now discussing about Nikki Sixx in my interview when I should only be discussing about my modeling and acting. _____

Nikki's POV

"Wow Sixx she doesn't want more from you." Tommy laughed and nudged Nikki as he grabbed a baggie of smack.

"I wouldn't want more from you either." Mick groaned as he sipped his vodka and changed the channel to MTV.

"Fuck you Mick, fuck all of you. You don't know shit." I yelled.

"Well if you actually started treating her like a decent human being Nikki, maybe she would want more from you. But you don't." Vince sneered.

"I do treat her good, I tell her that I want her to be mine, I call her beautiful, I tell her she's a princess. Shit that girls like to fucking hear. I invite her out to places too. She's just being a spoiled fucking cunt." I said kicking my chair.

"You treat her good?" Vince asked while standing up from the recording table. "Is that why you man handled her at the club last night for dancing with Jon. Nikki you dragged her to a back room and shoved her into a wall and you expect her to announce to the world that she wants more from you. Wow you are as delusional as they come." Vince walked out of the room.

"Fuck you Vince!" I yelled as I grabbed the baggie of smack from Tommy.

"Hey." Tommy whined

I headed into the washroom slamming the door shut. I sat on the toilet seat and thought to himself that maybe Vince was right, maybe I needed to start treating her better. But I don't know how. One thing that I do know for sure was that there was a feeling in me that I had never had before. I'm not even sure what it is. But I know that feeling always comes out when I think about her. Or when ever I'm with her.