#wow that makes it sound bleak

[angelpuns]

While brainstorming for this tmnt iteration I've stumbled across Weird Shit™ in my life that may be triggering to some people so I will be putting warnings on some comics, again thus iteration is quite literally just me making comics about me and my siblings' childhoods in an effort to??? Idk process feelings that I didn't realize I had <3

[ibrithir-was-here]

About Stoker's eight fairy tales 1881 book, there's one called The Castle Of The King. The premise, atmosphere, and imagery make it the darkest of them. The other tales are on the site, too. I want to make a post about this one when it's relevant (for reasons you'll find obvious soon) but I wanted to share a bit of it for now since you like fairy tales.

The characters are nameless, the main one is "the Poet" (he changes titles during the story), his wife (Beloved One, Wife, or Her) and the King and his Castle (who both haunt the narrative). The Poet and his Beloved are in love and got married after trials for him to be seen as worthy of her hand (despite that she always loved him back) by her family. But she gets ill while she's away for duty, and dies. "But, alas! for hope; for who knoweth what a day may bring forth? Only a little while ago his Dear One had left him hale, departing in the cause of duty; and now she lay sick and he not nigh to help her."

He can sense that she has passed, despite their far distance, and they find him already weeping in his and his wife's garden when they bring him the news.

“She now abides in the Castle of the King.” He looked at them eagerly, as if to ask: “What castle? What king?” They bowed their heads; and as they turned away weeping they murmured to him softly- “The Castle of the King of Death.” He spake no word; so they turned their weeping faces to him again. They found that he had risen and stood with a set purpose on his face. Then he said sweetly: “I go to find her, that where she abideth, I too may there abide.” They said to him: “You cannot go. Beyond the Portal she is, and in the Land of Death.” Set purpose shone in the Poet’s earnest, loving eyes as he answered them for the last time: “Where she has gone, there go I too. Through the Valley of the Shadow shall I wend my way. In these ears also shall ring the Music of the Spheres. I shall seek, and I shall find my Beloved in the Halls of the Castle of the King. I shall clasp her close-even before the dread face of the King of Death.”

They weep for him, and then the story continues with his quest for the Portal, going beyond it, his running through what's basically hell to find her; not fire/demons, but it's like battling against despair itself. Pitying souls, increasing desolation, mountains, sounds and bleakness try to break him, beasts hunt him but cannot kill him due to his vow alone, his feet bleeding as he runs. It has an atmosphere akin to traveling in Mordor or Dead Marshes… "Yet they stood there-Mount Despair on the one hand, and the Hill of Fear upon the other."

His single-mindedness is unflinching despite how much he cries and falls and honestly, the Poet is more of a proto-Jonathan than the man in Dracula's Guest. I won't spoil how it all goes but yeah I find it, and the other stories too interesting

Oh wow! Yeah definitely can see the Jonathan Harker-ness in all of that. I'll definitely have to check it out!

[onceuponapuffin]

Fanatic Intervention Part 14!!!

Happy Birthday to regular reader and commenter @ritz-writes !! :D

Here's the sculpture mentioned in the fic: https://noma.org/collection/history-of-the-conquest/

You'll notice that the poll at the bottom isn't anything suuuuper important. There's just some plot things that I want to get running in the next section, so I'm gonna be writing it up and posting it tomorrow. But I promise you that it's still an important choice to make (also idk what to pick so that means you all get to pick lol ).

Okay! Here we go! Back to New Orleans with The Anti-Apocalypse Crew!

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*************************

Now that you all were in the city, it only took Anathema the next morning to hone in on her signal. To Aziraphale's delight, it led you all to the sculpture garden at the New Orleans Museum of Art. To your delight, it led more specifically to a sculpture of a person riding a snail (to victory no doubt).

"I think this might be my favourite statue ever," You say aloud (because this author is assuming you would agree with her opinion). There is a person you don’t know standing in front of the statue. He gives a dissatisfied huff.

"It's called 'History of the Conquest,'" he tells you, despite not being asked, "The ever-slow and over-confident march of the entitled towards a future where they're in charge. Everyone else suffers while they promise glory and prosperity."

Your jaw drops open. This person looks like a 'surfer dude,' but is talking like someone who's spent most of their life in a cubicle changing 1s to 0s for 8 straight hours a day.

"WOW! That is BLEAK," is what finally comes out of your mouth. "Proper ray of sunshine, you are."

Okay, that sounded really British. You briefly wonder about the effect of spending so much time around Crowley and Aziraphale before Surfer Dude starts to laugh.

"I've seen a few things, human. Been 'round longer than you've been alive, will be long after you die. You're no more than a moth in my eyes."

"Wow," You can't help but repeat yourself, "Again, bleak." Also rude, but priorities.

"It is what it is," Surfer Dude replies. You shake your head and turn to Aziraphale and Crowley.

"You're up," You concede. You have no idea who this is, but he called you "human," and compared you to a moth. Whoever this person is, they’re probably the one Anathema’s had you looking for. He doesn’t look like Jesus, but maybe he will know where Jesus is. Either way, Anathema doesn’t get things wrong. If her work brought you to this person, then he’s the person you need to talk to.

That being said, whoever this is, he's the Ineffable Husbands' department and not yours. Sometimes you just gotta tap out and let the celestials handle their own kind. Now, this doesn't mean that you're not going to sit back and watch. Oh no, you want to see how this plays out.

"Can I have some popcorn?" You stage-whisper to Crowley as you pass him.

"Piss off," Crowley stage-whispers back. Despite his complaint, you notice a tiny Michael-Sheen smile on Aziraphale's face, and you return to Anathema, who looks surprised and is holding two small cartons of popcorn. You gratefully take one and have a seat on a convenient bench that is located conveniently within earshot. This is gonna be good.

"Hello," Aziraphale begins as he approaches, "I'm Aziraphale."

"Right," Surfer Dude says with a roll of his eyes, "The Angel of the Eastern Gate. I'm so honoured."

"Here I thought manners were important to angels," Crowley replies, sidling up next to Aziraphale. Surfer-Dude-Who-Is-Apparently-An-Angel takes in Crowley and raises an eyebrow.

"And here I thought demons didn't make a habit of hanging off angels' arms," Surfer Dude scoffs in in return.

Crowley snarls.

"Yes, well, each of us seems to be an anomaly in our own right," Aziraphale says with an appeasing smile, "This is Crowley. Might we have the pleasure of knowing your name?"

"No."

"Ah, right. Well, that is to your own discretion I suppose."

"Rude is what it is," sneers Crowley.

"Regardless, we've come to this garden with the guidance of our friend here, hoping to find, well, Jesus as it happens."

Surfer-Dude-Angel-Person throws his head back and laughs outright.

"You're looking for who now? JESUS? HA! Bit of soul-searching for you, is it? Spiritual journey? Pilgrimage to the Holy Land? You're in the wrong place for that!" He keeps laughing.

I mean, you get the laughter. It definitely sounds weird to a third party. Crazy even. But if this guy is an angel, then shouldn't it sound perfectly reasonable?

"Oi," Crowley interrupts, clearly impatient, "We're trying to save the world here. And since angels don't normally take holiday time, I'd think helping us might be in your best interest."

"You think you can stop the Second Coming? Ha! There isn't another technicality that you can throw around this time. This one's it. Enjoy the giant snail statues while they last, because it won't be for much longer."

"You know an awful lot," You call from the bench, "And you like to talk. So just get to the part about Jesus so we can leave you to be miserable on your own." You popcorn is already almost finished, and you frown into your carton. If only you could do miracles. You'd refill it yourself.

Surfer-Dude-Angel-Person laughs again.

"Yeah, okay, I like this one," he says, nudging a thumb in your direction. He turns away from Crowley and Aziraphale and strides towards you. Suddenly your popcorn carton is full again, so you look up. Okay, maybe he's not so bad. He reaches out a hand to you.

"Call me Sardis, Little Moth."

After a moment of hesitation, you shake his hand. He turns back to Crowley and Aziraphale.

"I can see why you've adopted this one," he says, then turns his attention to Anathema, paying no mind to the garbled protests coming from Crowley. "And since we're doing introductions...?"

"Anathema Device," says Anathema with a nod. She would probably shake his hand, but between her equipment and her popcorn, her hands are full.

"Lovely to meet you, Miss Anathema," Sardis nods at her before finally looking back at Aziraphale and Crowley. "You won't find Jesus here. But meet me for drinks later and I'll tell you what you need to know to find him."

"You're unnecessarily cryptic, Sardis," You say with a raised eyebrow and a mouth full of popcorn. He laughs again.

"Well, Little Moth," his eyes have a sparkle in them now as he looks at you, "Gotta keep myself entertained somehow."

Sardis insists on giving you all a tour of the sculpture garden, but refuses to say anything more about Jesus, or how he knows about Armageddon, or why he isn't in Heaven, or anything else that you actually WANT to talk about. He insists that such talk isn't for a quiet garden full of art. It isn't until he lays a cryptic finger beside his nose and winks at you that something clicks in your memory.

Remember, back before JK Rowling turned out to be an awful person, back when everyone read Harry Potter? EVERYONE, RIGHT?? Perhaps, dear Reader, you remember the chapter in book 5 where Hermione calls a meeting at The Hog's Head because it’s less crowded. Hermione figures the sparse crowd means that there are fewer people to see them together. Perhaps you also remember when, later in the book, this action comes back to bite them, and they are told very sternly that they should have met at the Three Broomsticks precisely BECAUSE it was busier. A busy pub meant they would have been less likely to be overheard.

Suddenly you look around the garden and notice the sparse, but very much there, collection of people. Just the right number of people that could listen to your conversation if they wanted to without you being any the wiser. Oh.

Oh.

Maybe the cryptic is a little bit necessary after all. He’s still overdoing it in your opinion, but whatever floats his goat.

You part ways after his tour, agreeing to meet at a local bar at 9pm. There’s enough time to go back to the hotel, freshen up, and get something to eat before you make your way there.

“Well,” Aziraphale says back at the hotel, “This Sardis certainly is a character.”

“I know the name from somewhere,” You trail off in thought. Where have you heard it before? Sardis…Tardis…Sardine….You’re not sure, but it rings a bell.

Anathema is already flipping through notebooks. Aziraphale has picked up his copy of the Bible, and Crowley is on his phone. You figure everyone else has it covered, and sure enough, it’s Crowley who finds it first. Google, no doubt.

“Ha! Found the sod! He’s in Revelation.”

“Oh!” You practically jump as recognition finally hits. “He’s one of the seven angels! The ones we didn’t think were here!”

“You didn’t think any of them were here?” Anathema asks, “Did you even check, or did you just assume?”

“Well Muriel said…” You go quiet, before clearing your throat and trying again. “We didn’t look into it far at all, no.”

“So exactly what work did you do before you called me?”

“Umm…….” You say.

“Nnngggh” Crowley adds.

“A great deal less than we thought at the time, apparently,” Aziraphale finally admits with a sigh.

“You are all really bad at saving the world.” Anathema shakes her head.

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 🖤

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[lukethompsondaily]

He is best known for Netflix hit Bridgerton, but Luke Thompson’s theatre pedigree encompasses Shakespeare, Greek tragedy and Ivo van Hove’s marathon A Little Life. He talks to Fergus Morgan about his passion for the stage and his worries for its future

Luke Thompson might have shot to stardom thanks to his role as Benedict in Netflix’s smash-hit series Bridgerton, but the 35-year-old actor is most at home on stage.

“I spectate on myself,” Thompson says. “I always have done. It’s been a bit painful in my life. And the only place on earth it doesn’t happen is on stage when someone else is spectating instead and so I don’t have to worry. You’re watching me so I don’t have to watch myself. I feel free. Those are the best moments of my life.”

Fortunately, Thompson has not been short of stage work. Born in Southampton in 1988, he grew up just outside Paris, returning to the UK to study English and drama at the University of Bristol, before training at RADA. He landed his first job almost immediately after graduating in 2013: playing Lysander in Dominic Dromgoole’s staging of A Midsummer Night’s Dream at Shakespeare’s Globe in London.

Since then, alongside screen roles in BBC One’s In the Club and Bridgerton, Thompson has starred in Julius Caesar at the Globe, Oresteia and Hamlet – opposite Andrew Scott – at London’s Almeida, and King Lear and A Little Life in the West End. Both he and co-star James Norton were nominated for Olivier awards for their performances in Ivo van Hove’s acclaimed adaptation of Hanya Yanagihara’s hard-hitting novel.

“A Little Life was such an intense experience,” Thompson says. “Intense in a good way, I mean. The material was very bleak, but acting is always pleasurable because you are indulging in a fantasy, even if it’s a dark one, and that is inherently fun.”

Thompson also thinks that theatre has lost some of its belief in itself. “Theatre is supposed to be provocative. I’m not on social media, but I think it can be very aggressive and vicious, and I think theatres cave to that a bit. Deep down, theatre is the opposite of social media. It is about people being in a room, exchanging opinions and emotions. I worry that social media is spoiling that a bit, which is a shame.”

What production made you fall in love with theatre?

I remember standing in the Yard at Shakespeare’s Globe in 2009 and watching Thea Sharrock’s production of As You Like It, and thinking: ‘Oh, wow, this is really funny and it actually works. When done simply and confidently, Shakespeare still speaks to us today.’ For my first job to be at the Globe a few years later was magical.

What are you finding inspiring at the moment?

I love watching Ivo [van Hove]’s company do stuff. There is something so wild about the acting in his shows. We get very bogged down with facts in this country, but Ivo understands the dream logic of plays. Some of the most moving things I’ve seen don’t completely make sense. I find that inspiring.

What do you wish you could change about the performing arts industry?

I wish theatre had more confidence. Right now, it feels unsure about how useful it is and about how taboo, complex and provocative it should be. I feel as though theatre has lost confidence in its societal function.

What is the worst thing that has happened to you on stage?

There was a scene in A Little Life in which James ran around naked for a bit, then I would bring him clothes. During one show, I couldn’t find his underpants, so I just brought him his trousers and he put them on. But I forgot that people pulled his trousers off again later and they were expecting him to be wearing underpants. James knew it was coming and I knew it was coming and we couldn’t look at each other for the rest of the play. I hope he doesn’t mind me telling that story. It was so funny.

What is the best thing that has happened to you on stage?

There are so many. That sounds naff but I don’t care. I love the challenge of going on stage night after night and trying to make something feel alive in front of an audience.

What role do you really want to play?

I would work with Ivo again at the drop of a hat. And there are loads and loads of roles I would love to play. I did a reading of a rewriting of The Seagull the other day. The role of Konstantin is really beautiful. I’d love to play that. I’d love to play Iago one day, too. Of course, I’d love to play Hamlet but it’s boring to say that.

What projects are you involved in at the moment?

I’m playing Berowne in Emily Burns’ production of Love’s Labour’s Lost with the Royal Shakespeare Company. She has set it on a Polynesian island owned by these big tech billionaires like Mark Zuckerberg or Elon Musk, of which I am one. It’s a really smart concept that unlocks a lot of very interesting stuff in the play. Season three of Bridgerton is coming out in May and June, too. And we will be filming season four soon after that. There’s a lot still to come.

Source: The Stage

[best-underrated-anime]

Best Underrated Anime Group E Round 1: #E8 vs #E1

#E8: Lesbian vampire & human go on road trip to escape the horrors

In a bleak world where music is banned and Vampires have emerged at the top of the food chain, a girl named Momo breaks past the barrier and connects with Fine, queen of the Vampires, and the two journey to find a safe haven where their races can co-exist.

#E1: Modern people transmigrate* to ancient Chinese fantasy world (BL)

People from the modern world transmigrating into the ancient fantasy world has become a common and everyday occurrence that the royal court in the latter has decided to moderate them. If you’re a transmigrator, you must report your existence to Lou Zhu, the master of Best Tower. Once you pass his test and prove that you are indeed a modern person, you can then be assigned to work in different areas of the government and be given a high salary.

Because of this promised benefit, many impostors have showed up before Lou Zhu. And one day, Zuo Yunqi shows up for this test. Is he an impostor, or is he an actual modern person?

But some transmigrators also choose to hide their existence out of distrust in the government. Where are they? And with their knowledge of science and technology, what are they planning in the dark?

*Transmigration = similar to isekai, but the world where the characters get isekai’d to is not always a western fantasy type.

Titles, propagandas, trailers, and poll under the cut!

#E8: Vampire in the Garden

Propaganda:

This anime came out a year ago, but I literally never heard of it until earlier this summer because Netflix had it. You guys are SLEEPING on such a good series—it’s 6 episodes so it’s short, but it feels like a whole single film. The voice acting is so fun, the music slaps, the animation goes HARD during fight scenes, and it’s just so so good. The art style is pretty, and the scenery makes me lose my mind, it’s SO pretty. I need to write an essay one day about how VitG uses music to carry the story because wow that is 🛐🛐🛐 Also there’s a goofy looking dog named Connie that continuously appears and serves no purpose in the plot. Love that

Trigger Warnings: Child Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Graphic Depictions of Cruelty/Violence/Gore, Racism, Self-Harm.

Child abuse & emotional abuse for Momo’s complicated relationship with her mother. Also emotional abuse for Fine’s past traumas and current strained relationship with other vampires.

This is a vampire anime, so there’s a lot of blood and fighting. There’s also a drug introduced in ep1 that mutates a vampire horribly.

Racism is human-versus-vampire shenanigans.

Self-harm for a scene where a human attempts to feed a vampire and for drug usage as mentioned above.

#E1: Are You Ok (You Yao)

[Admin: I could not find a single trailer of season 1 w/ English subs, and its OP seems to have been taken down on YouTube since Iqiyi, its producer (?), started their own channel. As such, I’ve cut a small portion of S1E01 instead, featuring the test the transmigrators have to take.]

Propaganda:

This donghua (Chinese anime) is based on a comedy novel with the same title, and the adaptation is just stellar. Instead of showing each character’s story separately like in the novel, the donghua combined everything. Because of this, there’s more focus on the plotty and political mystery aspect—but without losing the heart of the original. The entire show is still just as hilarious.

And for an adaptation with several original characters, for once I actually don’t mind it. I usually find such additions annoying, but in this show they really serve a purpose and also add to the enjoyment.

I also like the choice of animating it in 3D, like the one in video games. It fits the “transmigrate into a fantasy world” setting well. The donghua also plays around a lot. In one episode, they had one character sing and dance like in a musical, with the beginning of the song sounding like “Do you wanna build a snowman?” from Frozen 😂

Moreover, this is a Boys Love story, and with more than one couple, too! The secondary couple (Zhou Rongqi and Li Ke) even gets a very gay ending song that’s all about them. But since this show is from China, where censorship rules are strict, don’t expect anything explicit. Just think of it as another shounen with homoerotic undertones, except the homo is actually canon.

All in all, it’s a very fun show that doesn’t lack in depth. If you’re in the mood for something light but don’t want to miss out on plot, you should definitely watch this. And if you’ve never watched a donghua before, then you’ll definitely find this fresh and intriguing.

Trigger Warnings: None.

If you’re reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.

[moviemunchies]

After last time, I wanted to find something good to watch, a quality film, something epic, y’know?

So I went with cartoon dinosaurs.

The world’s in chaos, there’s drought everywhere, so food and water are scarce. Thinning herds of herbivores have been pushing towards the Great Valley, a place of bounty, whereas carnivores have started to pick off stragglers. In this mess Littlefoot is hatched to a family of longnecks (apatosaurus). When Littlefoot gets separated from his family, he has to find his way to the Great Valley, with only his mother’s instructions and the friends he makes on the way. Unfortunately, they’re being hunted.

Contrary to popular belief and common sense, I actually haven’t seen this movie that many times. We did however have the first direct-to-video sequel on video, so I watched that a bajillion times, and this one because we taped it when it was on TV one time. The sequel was just easier to find in our Tape Cave, so I saw it more, though this one’s quite obviously better.

Didn’t have the eggs song, though. We’ll forgive it because James Horner (yes, Magnificent Seven James Horner) composed the soundtrack.

Anyhow.

Wow, this is an epic family film. It’s not that no other animated movies released around this time dealt with difficult subject matter like this (The Lion King has Mufasa’s death, of course), it’s just that those are still usually musicals with bright happy songs. There are light-hearted moments here, though it’s not a musical. And it’s not as if this takes place in a bright, colorful world. Until the ending, you’re constantly reminded that this story is in a harsh world where barely anything grows and nearly nothing is there to help you.

Considering that it’s in what a dinosaur would consider dystopia, it’s a well-animated and designed movie. It looks good, even with volcanoes, swamps, brambles, and a deserted wasteland. And because the world looks so bleak, you understand why they want to get to the Great Valley so badly, and what a switch that is from the broken world the characters are used to. It also makes the ending feel very earned. It’s a win, because we’ve seen how bad things have gotten.

[Apparently, there’s a theory floating around that actually, the characters are dead, and the Great Valley is actually Dinosaur Heaven. That’s dumb, and also it’s said that the director, Don Bluth, wasn’t a huge fan of this idea–in part because he was actually working on a movie about Heaven for animals; All Dogs Go to Heaven.] 

It’s really short though, probably due to some issues about production. There was a lot that was cut or rearranged in production. An earlier version of the movie had it so that the scene in which the Sharptooth attacked Littlefoot’s mother was more graphically shown to the audience. The producers, George Lucas and Steven Spielberg (yeah, they produced this movie, in case you didn’t realize) convinced Bluth that they’d end up with screaming children in the theater for the entire movie, and no one wants that. There’s also a scene added pretty late in the game where Littlefoot talks to a dinosaur who never appears again. There’s some inconsistency with the Sharptooth’s wounded eye, too, as a result of all the changes.

That doesn’t really detract from the movie, because the storytelling still works, unless you’re incredibly obsessed with continuity. None of it breaks the story. It’s fine. 

…also, I’ve just now realized that this has a similar Plot to the movie Dinosaur. A group of dinosaurs traveling through the wasteland to find a valley paradise. But we’re not here to talk about that movie.

And this movie has a novelization? I can’t find a copy in the library, though. I want to find it��

Here is a classic, non-Disney animated movie that looks good, sounds good, and has a simple yet well-told story. Unless you absolutely cannot stand dinosaurs, or animated features (both of which are to me alien viewpoints), I cannot see why you wouldn’t want to watch Land Before Time at some point. It’s great. If you haven’t, please watch it.

[musingsunderstarlight]

So this might be another controversial take but I feel like men should just not direct or write movies about women's issues (I'm talking specifically about dramas not documentaries).

Like I just came across an article about the movie The Shameless about the lives of two impoverished women in India and the dangers and abuse that they face. As I was reading about it I was thinking wow this is so interesting and sounds like such a feminist movie. The author begins by telling how it opens with the protagonist, Rena, in a brothel having just killed her client who was a policeman. Then I keep reading:

On the run from the police, Rena flees to a small community in northern India where she can turn tricks, but also befriends (some would say grooms), a beautiful teenaged girl Devika (Omara Shetty) in the neighborhood whose mother is preparing to sell her virginity to the highest bidder.

I notice how it says she "grooms" her so I'm like, ok, I guess this isn't the female solidarity and friendship movie I thought it was going to be but ok let me keep reading (bolding mine).

Their unlikely friendship turns into love, but Rena lures Devika into her world of drugs, sex and crime. And although that reality is unstintingly bleak, Devika gets no protection from her own mother and grandmother. A devastating scene of her virginity being sold, and the violent rape that ensues under the auspices of her family, makes clear that Devika has no safe harbor anywhere in this world. 

First, I don't think there's any justification for rape scenes. If a man can jack off to it, don't film it. I get that it's not a fairytale, it's supposed to be a cautionary tale, a tragedy. But a tragedy is supposed to be cathartic. The director of this movie, Konstantin Bojanov, is neither a woman, nor Indian, so maybe I need more information but you cannot seriously tell me that this movie was meant to be cathartic for him. What else does a man gain from the tragedy of women's pain other than entertainment?

I'm just really, really, sick of men creating "art" from our pain. You will never understand it. You gain all the pleasure, and then you seek to commodify it and take all the glory for creating something "revolutionary." Enough.

[margridarnauds]

Where can I get a full The Green Knight (2021) tirade?

Ohohohohohohohohoho.

Alright, so there are things I can discuss, things that I can't, because they're things I've either used before or might be using in the future.

Suffice it to say, I think that it's self-satisfied. There's this notion that the film is somehow both true to the tone of the original text while also being willing to deconstruct it, raising Hard Truths about Arthuriana.

The problem is that...it isn't. It's your typical Mediocre White Male Auteur Tries To Take On the Classics film. It doesn't do anything that authors in the middle ages weren't willing to do themselves.

"Oh, what if King Arthur was a dick?" Boy, I have some news about a little text...called Culhwch ac Olwen....and another text...called The Alliterative Mort d'Arthur....and another text....called Sir Gawain...and the Green Knight...

"We should discuss how the system of chivalry can be hypocritical!" I have some news for you...about the French tradition...and about a little book...called Le Mort d'Arthur.

"Arthurian...imperialism?" ...Peredur.

And it's presented in such a smug, self-satisfied way that it's not "look! Here's a part of the tradition that we don't talk about!" so much as "Hey. Hey. Guess what? Guess what? Did you know that like. Chivalry was mainly a thing for a bunch of bloodthirsty aristocrats?" NO I HAD NO IDEA. NEITHER DID ANYONE IN THE MIDDLE AGES. And it does it while relentlessly portraying the middle ages as this bleak, moody, colorless world, aka The Visual Cliche We Have Seen A Thousand Times Over Again. Wow, look, a brothel. Wow, look, sex. Wow, look, violence. I bet you watched Game of Thrones once.

I hold a certain belief that if you're going to deconstruct a text or a tradition...you've got to do it better than the originals. And I feel like it isn't willing to take tips from what people in the middle ages were actually willing to do.

The characters don't act like PEOPLE, they act like Lowery's obnoxious mouthpieces. "Make me your LADY, Gawain!" He will NOT make you his lady and you KNOW that. Essel is seemingly there to establish Gawain's heterosexuality and be Lowery's own moral mouthpiece and ask pithy questions that seem to be deep. "Why greatness? Why not GOODNESS?" No one would ever think about that, Essel. We definitely don't have people from the Middle Ages...asking these questions.

...Alicia Vikander, you were wasted on this film.

And she doesn't escape it as Lady Bertilak, either, giving that long, self-indulgent monologue about the color green. I've seen people say that it sounds like something that could have come out of a medieval text and, with respect to them...no. It doesn't. It sounds like something that someone wrote in an attempt to be deep. Vellum is precious in the Middle Ages and you're going to waste it on THAT? (Instead of a long, long listing of Arthur's court, looking at you Culhwch ac Olwen.) Like the rest of the film, it's pretty on the outside, stylized almost to perfection, and empty on the inside. And then you have the scene in the Lowery where she somewhat teasingly, somewhat smugly imo talks about how "sometimes...don't tell anyone...when I see room for improvements, I make them " the texts she transcribes. What if the text didn't need to be improved, Lowery? What if it was FINE as it is? Like, say that you made changes in order to better deliver on the themes you wanted to convey, sure -- I still think his vision is shitty, but at least I could accept it. But an improvement? No. That's just hubris. It's rancid. That isn't Lady Bertilak talking, that's Lowery's ego.

You have the treatment of Lord Bertilak, which is...also rancid imo. Like, I don't give a single fuck what Lowery says, the kisses should have been in there. If you could give us a green kirtle cumshot and an entire plotline of Essel sighing dreamily and Emoting, you could have given us two more kisses. Or made the one kiss we got...actually consensual. But we didn't get that. Why? Why did we highlight heteroeroticism and downplay the homosociality?

And what does it all lead to? Nothing. You introduce Arthur as an imperialist, you introduce Camelot as this world that's falling apart, you introduce, but there's nothing that you leave to remedy it. Lay down and die, that's what you do when the world sucks. Can't improve it, might as well die, surrender your neck to the axe.

It encapsulates the worst elements of bad arthouse films -- the surreal is mistaken for the substantial, it's all style, no substance, and what substance it does have is rotten. I see very little of the Green Knight there, it's all Lowery.

[kazscrows]

Six of Crows Reread🪶

Chapter 46: Pekka

I know this chapter happens but I cannot for the life of me remember anything about it

So this should be fun

Like reading it again for the first time

Poor Nina already sounds worse for wear because of the parem…

Pekka describes her as jutting bones and dark hollows, trembling hands…

She leaned against a giant Fjerdan with a shaved head and grim blue eyes. He was huge, probably former military. Good muscle to have around. Where did Kaz Brekker find these people?

Wait Matthias is bald—

When did that happen??

And Kaz just knows how to find the right people

It’s called making friends.. sort of and being kind.. ish

He’s also just a little lucky

The little canal rat had managed to make it to the Ice Court after all.

It was a good thing, too. If not for Kaz Brekker, Rollins would still be sitting in a cell in that damned Fjerdan prison waiting for another round of torture – or maybe looking down from a pike atop the ringwall.

This is the last time Pekka will think Kaz ever did anything to be glad about

…he’d seen him around the Barrel a few times. The boy had come from nowhere and been a slew of trouble since. But he was still just a lieutenant, not a general, a terrier nipping at Rollins’ ankles.

You created him Pekka

Ooh flashback to the ominous prison cell scene

“Hello, Brekker,” Rollins had said. “Come to gloat?”

“Not exactly. You know me?”

Rollins had shrugged. “Sure, you’re the little skiv who keeps stealing my customers.”

The look that passed over the boy’s face then had taken Rollins aback. It was hatred – pure, black, long simmering. What have I ever done to this little pissant? But in seconds the look was gone, and Rollins wondered if he’d imagined it altogether.

Ha- there and then gone again

“What do you want, Brekker?”

The boy had stood there, something bleak and mad in his gaze. “I want to do you a favour.”

It probably took everything in Kaz not to kill him right then and there

And then he offers him a favor on top of it!

“Why the hell would you help me?”

“You weren’t meant to die here.”

Somehow it sounded like a curse.

Oh it is

Just wait for Kaz’s vengeance…

And the Wraith-

“I owe you, Brekker,” Rollins had said as the boy exited his cell, hardly believing his luck.

Brekker had glanced back at him, his dark eyes like caverns. “Don’t worry, Rollins. You’ll pay.”

Yes, yes he will

Man we probably won’t get something like this on screen anymore

Will Pekka even be at the ice court?

Why did they already do Kaz’s revenge plot in the show???

Ughhh

He stood in the middle of Rollins’ opulent office looking like a dark blot of ink, his face grim, his hands resting on a crow-handled walking stick.

Wow this description of Kaz

He’s a stain in Pekka’s “kingdom”

Kaz just casually asking Pekka for two hundred thousand dollars (kruge)

He offers his shares for the club and fifth harbor too and it’s obviously painful for him

So maybe it’s not so casual actually

It’s weird how the show has flipped this all around

Pekka already has fifth.. he got the club.. it’s already been destroyed..

I don’t get why they did that

It’ll be… interesting to see what they do in the spin-off now to say the least

Rollins leaned back and pressed his fingers together. “It’s not enough, you know. Not to go to war with the Merchant Council.”

“It is for this crew.”

“This crew?” Rollins said with a snort. “I can’t believe you sorry lot were the ones to successfully raid the Ice Court.”

“Believe it.”

Kaz, if not saints, what do you believe in?

My Crows

SaB s1e7

“Van Eck is going to put you in the ground.”

“Others have tried. Somehow I keep coming back from the dead.”

“I respect your drive, kid. And I understand. You want your money; you want the Wraith back; you want a bit of Van Eck’s hide—”

“No,” said Brekker, his voice part rasp, part growl. “When I come for Van Eck, I won’t just take what’s mine. I’ll carve his life hollow. I’ll burn his name from the ledger. There will be nothing left.”

Just like when he eventually comes for you

Such a banger quote

Kaz really has never had a bad track

Pekka Rollins couldn’t count the threats he’d heard, the men he’d killed, or the men he’d seen die, but the look in Brekker’s eye still sent a chill slithering up his spine. Some wrathful thing in this boy was begging to get loose, and Rollins didn’t want to be around when it slipped its leash.

lol it’s already too late for you Pekka

When he held out his hand to shake on the deal, Brekker’s grip was knuckle-crushing.

“You don’t remember me at all, do you?” the boy asked.

“Should I?”

“Not just yet.” That black thing flickered behind Brekker’s eyes.

“The deal is the deal,” said Rollins, eager to be done with this strange lot.

“The deal is the deal.”

Watch your back Pekka…

Or don’t

Actually don’t

RIP (Rest In Pieces)

“What’s with those gloves he wears?” the bruiser asked.

“A bit of theatre, I suspect. Who knows? Who cares?”

Or you know… it’s just Kaz’s greatest weakness.. his greatest shame…

Rollins reached for his watch. It had to be about time for the dealers to change shifts, and he liked to supervise them himself.

“Son of a *****,” he exclaimed a second later.

“What is it, boss?”

Rollins held up his watch chain. A turnip was hanging from the fob where his diamond-studded timepiece should have been. “That little bastard—” Then a thought came to him. He reached for his wallet. It was gone. So was his tie pin, the Kaelish coin pendant he wore for luck, and the gold buckles on his shoes. Rollins wondered if he should check the fillings in his teeth.

I am CACKLING

No one got one over on Pekka Rollins. No one dared. But Brekker had, and Rollins wondered if that was just the beginning.

“Doughty,” he said, “I think we’d best say a prayer for Jan Van Eck.”

Oh it’s definitely only the beginning

And you better save your prayers for yourself

Rollins straightened the knot of his pinless tie and headed down to the casino floor. The problem of Kaz Brekker could wait to be solved another day. Right now there was money to be made.

And that’s what we call a very big mistake my friends

What an idiot

Thats the end folks! Six of Crows finished!

Crooked Kingdom reread… coming soon…

First | Previous

[cowboycannibalism]

i watched When Evil Lurks (2023) yesterday and I have thoughts! also this is literally just my letterboxd review copy and pasted with a bit more detail lol

spoilers!! ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

first of all, I am not the biggest possession horror fan. It's not my thing. But wow I was actually so into this movie I completely forgot about it being a possession movie! It was sort of a mix between zombie/disease and possession which was interesting. The very first Rotten we see is hard to look at, not normally a sight you think of when someone is possessed. Usually these movies tend to be more bone-cracking, spine breaking, unnatural bending and scary voices. Seeing the "demon"/evil manifest physically with bodily fluids and boils and rotting flesh made my stomach turn a bit which was awesome!

Secondly, I admit I'm very partial to sibling dynamics in movies, I love my siblings and I would die for them. The only people I would want to be in this apocalyptic-end-of-days situation with would be my siblings and my mom. I think the film did a great job bringing to life that tie between family, that you would do anything to protect them even if it means leaving your entire life behind including people who may be close but not willing to believe you (the ex wife and new husband). Also I couldn't help but compare them a bit to mario and luigi in my head but I blame that on me watching the Mario movie right before this 😅.

Jaime (Jimi) and Pedro are fun contrasting personalities in the scenario they get put into. Their priorities are different and even the belief they have is split, while pedro is more sure about the Rotten, Jaime is so doubtful he can't even admit if what they saw was real and that leads to problems with everyone else believing them. He's seen as the "good" brother so of course if he's saying he isn't sure of what they see, then all the other characters would believe him over Pedro, the "bad" brother with a troubled past. One of the things I loved about it was that Jaime never waivers in his faith in Pedro, he may not be sure of the Rotten/evil but he always trusts fully in his brother.

Pedro does get on my nerves with some of his choices but cmon would it be a horror movie if you weren't mad at some character for making stupid decisions? The desperation that seeps from the actor (Ezequiel Rodriguez) is so palpable that it brings out sympathy for him, he may be dumb but he's trying his best okay?

The whole story with the autistic son was a little weird and I know everyone's reviews of this say it's ableist but I saw it in a different light. The Cleaner says the demon can't figure out the minds of autistic people, get stuck in their bodies and that helps them from fully becoming possessed. To Me it feels like the opposite of what movies would usually do in where the son would be autistic BECAUSE of the demon, whereas in this movie he is "normal" when the demon takes over. It isn't a cure, it isn't saying autistic people have evil in them that needs to be fixed, but that is something that people have said for a long time and tbh its probably still a thing idiots believe in. it's interesting to see that his autism actually kept him safe for as long as it did.

Let's talk about the kills! When the wife of the landowner whacks into him with the axe, I was caught so off guard, same with the dog attack on the little girl. oh god, the throwing up of the hair and necklace by the son got to me, I probably shouldn't have been eating while watching this. This may sound weird but I LOVED the scene of the mom eating her son's brains as she's walking alongside the car Jimi is in.

The movie was so bleak and nihilistic that I felt the need to repent so this doesn't happen in real life. I wish it could have expanded a bit more on the universe, some of the characters and the disease/possession but for pacing reasons I think they did a solid job of dropping enough hints to fill in information. I love foreign horror movies and Argentina you are on my watchlist now, i enjoyed this and I think its definitely worth a watch!

Be warned there are animal and child deaths in this movie so know your triggers. It has English subtitles that aren't 100% accurate so it can get a little confusing sometimes, just pay close attention and if you want more insight the reddit threads on this movie are so great.

[lakesbian]

ask game blake thorburn 2 4 5

yaaaay yippee this is a fun ask game and i like blake thorburn So much

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

OATMEAL. IT'S THE OATMEAL THING. EAT YOUR FUCKING OATMEALS BOY.

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

i don't know too many horror movies due to my bad at movies disease but i would kill to see blake thorburn in just any slasher or monster film. not as the monster, to be clear. just as some guy who is joining the protagonists. i don't think i can adequately communicate how funny and excellent this would be to people who have not read pact so if you don't know precisely why i want to see this you should probably go read pact 👍

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

immediately and without question wrong by depeche mode. like, there is obviously the lyrics:

I was born with the wrong sign In the wrong house With the wrong ascendancy I took the wrong road That led to the wrong tendencies I was in the wrong place at the wrong time For the wrong reason and the wrong rhyme On the wrong day of the wrong week I used the wrong method with the wrong technique Wrong Wrong There's something wrong with me chemically Something wrong with me inherently The wrong mix in the wrong genes I reached the wrong ends by the wrong means It was the wrong plan in the wrong hands With the wrong theory for the wrong man The wrong eyes on the wrong prize The wrong questions with the wrong replies Wrong Wrong I was marching to the wrong drum With the wrong scum Pissing out the wrong energy Using all the wrong lines And the wrong signs With the wrong intensity I was on the wrong page of the wrong book With the wrong rendition of the wrong hook Made the wrong move every wrong night With the wrong tune played 'til it sounded right yeah

and fuck dude that sure is all applicable to blake. in the wrong place at the wrong time!! born with the wrong sign in the wrong house in the wrong ascendancy!!!! something wrong with him inherently!!! pissing out the wrong energy!!!! made the wrong move every wrong night with the wrong tune played til it sounded right!!! (wow that is the Fastest the 'seeing a word until it no longer looks like a word' effect has ever kicked in for me. weird. why does 'wrong' look like that. that is not a word.) there's also how well the Sound fits pact. but what really cinches this as the blake song of all time 4 me is that one of the members of the band said:

I hope people don’t take it in a really depressing way, because I like to think that I’ve somehow made it into a bit of a comedy moment. There’s a bit of black humor in there. It makes me laugh when I say that "there’s something wrong with me chemically, something wrong with me inherently."

& that fits pact & blake really well. black humor. there is everything wrong with him, inherently, chemically, and that's Sorta Funny In A Bleak Way. songs that are reminiscent of how blake spends his entire life tripping down 87 consecutive flights of stairs

more asks for me everyone. please . as a treat. you wouldnt deny me alec asks to answer....or other character asks to answer but a lot of these would b fun for alec....

[skayafair]

Oh well.

It ended happier than I expected honestly, but was still wistful. I'll miss it so much. Theme music makes me especially emotional for some reason - I really came to like it, it meant a beginning of another exciting adventure and some respite from the real life (which was pretty bleak when I started listening).

Turns out I really missed Anna's monologues. I was glad to get another one by the end.

Also Anna hugging Amy are you kidding 😭 I nearly started sobbing.

And this going parallel to Sam's meeting with Allen? 💔 that sounded so raw, a very strong scene.

However I have to say Anna telling Amy how there's no point for her to go back to the world was brutal. I get Anna needed to go back and wanted to survive but oh my goodness all those words were still very cruel, and I couldn't help being angry at the very fact that someone would try to convince another person, especially one they called their best friend, that there's no point for them to live. What?? No life just because Amy basically didn't exist in that timeline? The past isn't all there is to life. Anna didn't know if Amy could survive. They COULD try to find a solution later, Amy was still existing there in the source. But I guess it wasn't Anna's first concern at that moment. Understandable, but it was still a terrible thing to do.

Kate going poly was probably the most unexpected development. Wow, you go girl.

Thanks for some justice for the Echo. They were my favourite from s1 and I still don't see them as a villain and think there was a way of coexising the circumstances just didn't allow to find.

Also now I can imagine any number of fix-it non-canon poly AUs with Ned and no one's gonna stop me. They've got that card in the end, after all, and the multiverse is canon. Yay to that!

[thoumpingground]

The Tenant of Wildfell Hall Thoughts: Chapters 38-42

Helen is plotting her escape, let's gooo!! But first, drama. I knew Lowborough would end up suicidal. The way Helen describes him struggling not to kill himself in the room the night after he discovers the adultery is bone-chilling. He's pretty serene all things considered, though. Forgives Helen fairly quickly for keeping him in the dark, turns out Hattersley's plot to "take care" of Huntington (lol), by the looks of it gives Annabella a generous alimony if she's able to keep partying in London. It made me sad that he's happy to keep his son but not his daughter (because she looks like her mother, I guess? idr what Annabella looks like) but the story is bleak enough as it is and unless I'm contradicted later I'm choosing to believe he gets over it for both of their sakes.

Hargrave... vindictive little scumbag. I'm so mad at myself for feeling bad for you. In a book full of hateable men it's impressive how quickly he made top of the list. I wanted to scream when Helen told him about her escape plans. For a second I thought he might help her... but of course not. I have to go back to the Gilbert parts and see if he calls Helen "his angel" because that's clearly a red flag (Huntington did it too, that much I remember). I hope he goes back to Paris and some french opera girl drains him of all his money.

Hattersley is all over the place in these chapters. Such a chaotic redemption arc. Offering Lowborough to be his fucking hitman (again, lol), defending Helen from Huntingdon when they think she's cheating with Hargrave (so many bloody H's in this book), encouraging Huntingdon to turn a new leaf while they ply his son with alcohol... I know he had that conversation with Helen about Millie not feeling anything a few chapters back, so it doesn't exactly come out of nowhere, and he loves his kids, and he's still a dick through his good moments (plying toddler Arthur with alcohol, calling Helen names even while defending her...), but it still feels sudden. And when did he start loving Millie to the point the idea of making her happy pushes him over the edge into reform? He only married her because she was a doormat, and he's been deluding himself into thinking she was dead inside (that or she has a poker face that would put Vegas out of business), and I know he's been strugggling with that, but still. I'm glad Millie gets a reformed husband by the end of this section, but wow. What a trip.

Huntingdon commitment to get worse is impressive. I was surprised he pawned Helen off to his friends. Again, I'd read Arthur wasn't phisically abusive, and it appears he never rapes her, but this sounds an awful lot like he's giving his friends leave to. I have a half-formed thought about how Huntingdon keeps making masculinity and power about viciousness. He's making a show out of corrupting little Arthur to hurt Helen, but I think he sincerely beleives it's making a man out of him, and if they were on better terms he'd be doing it covertly. "A Misadventure"... Hooly shit, if there was ever understatement. And a reason to title the following chapter "Hope Springs Eternal in the Human Breast"! If the book hadn't started after Helen made her escape it might have made me cry. The bitter, sinister delight Huntingdon takes in stripping Helen of every mean of escape, and how casually he's able to do it, how ties his masculinity to it... I don't understand how this book isn't better known. This should be taught at schools.

I hate the way nobody's allowed to talk about the abuse. I swear, this is 1984 with petticoats. Helen and Millie urging Esther to be careful who she chooses while insisting that they're happy themselves... It reframes all Helen's and Aunt Margaret's interactions from early in the diary, though Esther seems more receptive than Helen (thank god...). Helen trying (usuccesfully) to hide her unhappiness from Aunt Margaret is so sad. So is her guilt over giving her aunt grief in her old age. On brighter news, Frederick to the rescue! I knew something good would come of Huntingdon fucking off to London for half the year! I knew Lawrence was Helen's brother! It's gonna be fun when she finds out that Gilbert struck him in the face. It's gonna be fun when Gilbert realizes who he struck in the face!

[thatpunkmaximoff]

[Book One of..]

Story: 5 out of 5 Smut: 2 out of 5

I honestly wanted this book so bad because everyone recommended it as a Peter Pan retelling. Imagine my surprise, however, when I read the author’s note, and she states it’s NOT a retelling. But I still read it because I wanted to read a story from the villain’s pov and oh my god am I glad I read it. I am in love with James/Hook and I don’t care that he’s a bad guy.

Wendy, daughter of Peter, starts off as the naive girl that Hook is looking to take advantage of because of what Peter has done to him in the past. But as her rose tinted glasses come off, she becomes the young woman who you will come to adore and root for. And James… well you’ll be up and down with his character. I knew he was the bad guy going in, but I wanted to throttle him at one point.

I guess you can say this is a reimagining of the Peter Pan characters in a modern world, but instead of rooting for Peter Pan, Wendy, and Tink… you’ll be begging Hook for a taste of the dark side.

I am stoked to see what else Emily has written for this series!

* So we start off with a murder. Nice. Seems James’s uncle deserved it.

* Oh shit. James saw Wendy through video feed and immediately wants to defile her. But it’s Wendy’s friend who is hoping for his attention 😬

* Ohhhh. He got her to to agree to a date 😏

* So that’s why he doesn’t like the ticking sound. Damn.

* Oh shit. James walked up to Wendy and Maria is PISSED.

* Lol Maria is such a bitch.

* Score. He secured the date.

* Goddamn. James has got a mouth on him.

* The way he has her grind on his lap… holy shit.

* I somewhat knew what I was getting into, but damn… I’m gonna be heartbroken when Wendy finds out James is using her.

* Wendy’s dad is a dick and Tina Belle a bitch. I can’t wait until James gets his hand on them.

* Lol Moira tried to make Wendy jealous and James wasn’t having it 😂

* Oh shit. Wendy gave him her virginity. There’s gonna be a lot of crying later, isn’t there?

* So the dad doesn’t care for his son and James has noticed that Jon (the brother) looks nothing like Wendy. Could he be the product of an affair?

* Why do I have a feeling something is gonna happen to Ru?

* Uh oh, James. You going soft for Wendy and her brother Jon.

* I fucking knew something was going to happen to Ru 😩 and now James thinks Wendy had a hand in it. Fuck! I can’t wait for him to murder her dad Michael. To murder Pan.

* Holy shit. Did he just kidnap her?! He has it all wrong!

* I can’t wait to see when he realizes he royally fucked up.

* Starkey, you’re a little traitorous motherfucker, aren’t you? I know it was you who was supposed to have Ru’s back. You’re too nervous.

* “Just remember, that whenever things feel bleak, all situations are temporary. It’s not your circumstance that determines your worth, it’s how you rise from the ashes after everything burns.”

* “Every good bitch needs a pretty collar.” — oh my god. I can’t wait for her to bitch slap you 😂

* FINALLY! She had no idea, you dumb shit. Now prepare to beg for forgiveness.

* Wow. Her dad was really gonna let her die. Fuck him.

* Shit. Peter burned down James’s club.

* Damn. James burned all Peter’s planes 😂

* wtf was that with Moira? And how the fuck did Wendy disappear?! I don’t trust Smee 🤔

* Oh so Smee just assumed she left when really she was just sitting on the dock. But still, James is pissed 😬

* She caved way too fast once his fingers got in her. Get it together, Wendy!

* Croc? As in his uncle? wtf! And of course there’s an explosion just as the woman’s name is about to be given.

* Fuck! Starkey is a traitor! It wasn’t an explosion. Starkey shot their hostage right before he spilled the beans. He’s protecting his boss!

* Damn. Wendy’s that good of a fuck that James is in love, huh 😂 Well.. I’m kind of glad she decided to stay. I don’t trust anyone else to have her back like James does.

* “For the record, I would give you the world. You simply have to ask. You want kids? Done. You want to stay here and never work again? Done. You want to watch the world burn?” // “Let me guess, you’ll set it on fire?” // “No, darling. I’ll hand you the match and stand at your back, watching you become Queen of the ashes.”

* Moira is a traitor?! I knew the bitch was sleezy, but this is… wow. I can’t wait for James to kill her.

* Fuck you, Tina! Ugh. These women are pissing me off 😂

* I fucking called it. Smee! You asshole. And cousins? Why are you being such a little bitch.

* So Peter saved James? And James has a brother?! wtf. Tina better fucking get some punishment for flipping out on Wendy.

* Oh shit. It’s Jon! And seriously, fucking Tina. Someone bitch slap her!

* THANK YOU!!

* Aww. They got their happily ever after 🥹

[sadisthetic]

I’m giving the designers objectively the right amount of credit. I’m a former lego employee :-)

doubt. even if you were, why are you taking personal offense to criticism to the show as a whole and are taking time out in your life to defend something under the mask of anonymity where you have absolutely no claim to your name? wheres your sense of professionalism? taking offense a silly small no name artist questioning a design element. in a caption of bloody fanart no less. and you say youre an ex lego employee! ex! so youre less relevant now. if youre not lying that is. you wont even say what your position was. lego employee is so vague.

anyways. because youre on anon all this claim does is make you sound like the "my uncle works at nintendo!" meme. im sorry to say that as an anon. you are nobody

by the way. by set design im speaking from an entertainment arts perspective. not the sets that kids buy in the store. im talking about sets that are Actually used in the show. this kind of design work.

http://www.cynthiahalley.com/ not ninjago related but this is MY definition of set design. aka. what im seeing in the show. not the simplified little toy models

anyways. looks like youre not done!

shakes out my hands. alright! you wanna play this kinda game? okay sure, ill play along! why not. i have time to procrastinate. you are rude by the way!

lets google that very phrase you gave here

mhm mhm! yup! that sure is the grate that jays prison was based on! but huh..... hm! im kinda curious about what the inside looks like. you know? the inside of the hold that jay is in that this is all about?

lets add a term to the search

huh! huh! interesting. that doesnt look like anything i saw in the show. hmmmm actually this doesnt give me enough sense about the architecture of the ship, so let do the same research that ive been doing for my own curiositys sake

cool..... pretty expansive actually. ehhhh i want a tour. this doesnt sate my curiosity enough. i wanna see what the grates underside looks like because im bored and obsessed with this lego show

i wont waste everyones time. an example is at about 11 minutes in

wow i learned a lot about ships. also i looked at diagrams. not that you ever had the thought to. hm. now how did the hold jay was in look like again

thats fucking stupid. in the few frames we are given of it of the different angles, its clearly just a fucking box. no depth leading to the curve of the hull, no visible door and likely no door whatsoever bc it would complicate things. a box that probably is in the shape of its opening. lets be real. this is a design that was easy and convenient for the cg modeler to make. ive done 3d work for a class. its hell. i dont blame them. but anyways. ppl who worked on this probably just saw the grates on the surface of the deck and was like oh we dont know what that looks like on the inside but its a perfect place to throw poor ole jay in! grab the trusty basic 3d cube. use difference to cut it out. add texture. and to be honest? yeah the story doesnt need an entire storage space to be built for realism sake. why would they do that for a cg lego show. lets get lazy about it, what do the kids know, whats important is that jays life sucks. the sparseness serves more of a purpose the bleak hopelessness of the pit jay has dug himself into

my point still stands. this is just a hole. it aint right. this is not how old ships were built. this cell was made for jays specifically for the sake of simplicity in both the production standpoint and story. its dumb but serviceable for a narrative purpose

but anyways so from this ive learned an important thing or two about you! you! dont know how to research! you! have only ever looked surface level. literally surface level, you saw these images of the deck and never even thought about whats underneath? the very thing ive been questioning? ive been talking about how its just a fucking cube this entire time. its just a hole. you given me more insight about ships so i thank you for that but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. youre very bad at convincing someone whos right

also you contradicted yourself. you said that "the concepts for the misfortune’s keep were done carefully" but then you go on to say that it "doesn’t require accurate research"? after telling ME, silly ole me who clearly has easily done more research than you, to do a bit research? hello? whats the truth? hm? what are you trying to prove now. doesnt need research because its "basic hollywood tropes" kay so whats been done here is nothing original because theyre copying whats already been done hundreds of times. great argument. dont get me wrong tho i love a good trope. especially when it involves things i enjoy. like jay having the most miserable time. heres the thing tho. what is being brought into question is not what HAPPENS to jay. its the fucking lazy set dressing. am i wrong to point out thats just a hole? its a hole. absolutely no deeper thought has gone into designing that. why are you so mad about it?

i do this for a hobby. criticizing ninjago is literally 75% of the fun for me. thinking soooo much about the shows i like and pointing out the bits that are wack is how i occupy my brain in my spare time. so what are you doing man. is defending ninjagos honor your hobby? get a better one. or at least more thought and consideration and media literacy. like im thinking about the show from a production standpoint as well as writing. this show has So many holes in it btw so theres MUCH to think about and mull over. a lot of stuff for me to play with. its nice in that sense. ninjago is a sandbox if anything. im sure im not alone in thinking this

thanks for the soapbox anon! youve overstayed your welcome! get out of my house! im just a guy with opinions as scathing as they are.

OH WAIT IF YOURE REALLY AN EX LEGO DESIGNER? WHY ARE SO MANY OF THE NINJAS GI'S LAPELS FOLDED RIGHT OVER LEFT? ITS BASIC KNOWLEDGE THAT IN A LOT OF EAST ASIAN CULTURES, TRADITIONAL CLOTHING THAT FOLDED IS FOR DEAD PEOPLE. NINJAGO IS LOOSELY (SO VERY LOOSELY.) BASED ON JAPANESE CULTURE. SO CLEARLY VERY LITTLE RESEARCH GOES INTO DESIGNING THE LITTLE LEGO GUYS OUTFITS THEMSELVES!!!! WHOS THE WHITE GUY WHO DESIGNED THE MINIFIGURES. I HAVE PERSONAL BEEF WITH THEM.

but if youre a nobody. byebye. i dont think you can come back from this. im done here. this was fun. drops the mic

[coffeestainedcamera]

Anyways, I loved Poor Things and it's up there with Boy and Heron, They Cloned Tyrone, Barbie, Asteroid City, and M3gan for fave of the year for me. So, let's first set the scene here.

I show up at the theater, expecting only like three other people (based on our online ticketing system). Then the room gets completely packed by everyone from other twenty-somethings to elderly couples. I haven't seen this big a turnout since the Barbie screening, prob.

So, anyways, we all start watching and begin dying of laughter. It's in the basic slapstick, like Bella impulsively smacking Max in the intro. But it's also in all her unfiltered observations that aren't very socially acceptable!

Ok yeah, now we're hitting spoilers so just gonna toss a cut in.

Yeah, she's ultimately kind of like the revived guy in Frankenstein, except her dad actually cares for her. It's in the small stuff like giving her a name and not tossing her at the first signs of trouble. But both doctors still didn't really give a rat's ass about their kids' basic bodily autonomy when first making them.

Did Bella's mom ever ask to be brought back? Nah, so he respected that basic bit. Would she have been okay with her kid's brain animating her corpse? Ehhhhhhhh, doubtful, especially considering that she offed herself to escape her expected role as a good rich mama. Can't really ask her, but that's not gonna stop science here (much like in the case of Dr. Frankenstein and his son).

Yeah, that's not exactly a promising start to a parent-kid relationship. We have basic standards of good parenting like actively trying to educate the kid and not committing incest, but the bar is kind of in hell. Still, he ultimately respects her autonomy and lets her make the impulsive decision to run off on a trip with some lawyer. After giving away her hand in marriage without her own permission, like a proper Victorian papa! Still, wow, he actually let her out. Amazing, showstopping, revolutionary.

Anyways. Mr. Lawyer is a total elderly creeper. He wants Bella, but when she's uneducated and controllable. The second he catches her reading philosophy books? Tosses them overboard and rages at the lady who gave them to her. Then he pathetically tries to off her.

Ruffalo has no right being as funny as he is in this role. Still, it's a performance that makes sense in the context of this absurd comedy. He's a pathetic manbaby that's angry that his girlfriend is actively trying to improve herself while he's stagnant (and gasp, she might figure out that he's a giant creep that women his age stay away from). The second she screws someone else, he rages. And he doesn't respect her coworkers in Paris! But he does it with this expression of inept rage, so we all couldn't help but laugh at his breakdown at being dumped once Bella learns more about the world.

Side note, but the most laughs in the theater happened when Bella was completely disregarding social norms. You want a lady that only spews niceties in public? Well, sorry she very inappropriately threw one at your dinner companion's talk of her personal issues. Lol.

You're upset she's dancing by herself in public? Hope you have fun squirming while she takes the lead in the dance with you, then.

Oh, and sorry she's outearning you and proceeds to quit that overly strict workplace when she feels like it. And also finds a gf down there.

And sod it, if Mama was rocking generic Victorian clothes, we're rocking pieces that would've made Viviene Westwood proud!

Side note but that production and costume design were delicious. Plus, that color grading. I'm still obsessed with the vivid blue dress of her mom in her one final moment of freedom, versus that painful grayness of that mansion. Oh, and the vividness of Bella's world trip!

Anyways, very much a "vibes" kind of movie but we were all a very specific kind of hedonist that proceeded to laugh and actually comment on everything. It's a bleak comedy and while this all sounds like a massive breach of theater etiquette, it actually was fine. My favorite bit was at the mad scientist antics at the end. "No, don't bring your dad back, he never asked!" "HELL YEAHHHHHH" (yes, these were both reactions to the man-goat scene).

Ну, типа, ты же был таким козлом, в переносном смысле! Может ты хочешь стать одним буквально?:)))

In short, 10/10, would rec either going solo or with someone very, very understanding.