#wow the love I felt for that little family. highlight of that week.

[girl-next-door-writes]

Merry Christmas To All, And To All A Good Night!

Characters: Armitage Hux x reader

Summary: Two years on and some things have definitely changed, but has Hux really given into the Christmas Spirit, or is it simply something else?

Word Count: 1043 words

A/N: Okay, so to be totally honest, I forgot I hadn’t finished this little series, and it wasn’t until a lovely reader left a comment over on AO3 asking about it that I realised I should probably do that. I love these two idiots and almost 2 years on, this feels like a fitting epilogue.

In his mind, he had created the most perfect, the most festive moment possible. The fire was crackling as the light tones of a gentle piano softly filled the air with Christmas carols; a form of Christmas music he had not realised he quite enjoyed before meeting you. The room was illuminated by the firelight and the playful twinkling of the fairy lights which adorned the tree. The scent of pine combined with sugary treats caressed his nostrils each time he inhaled, and his heart felt warm and full as he looked at the pile of gifts beneath the tree. That had been the plan.

In reality, however, the tree he had acquired was too damned big for the room, and bent ominously to the left despite his best efforts. From where he stood, the decorations were… adequate, but he knew for a fact if he took two steps to his right, the whole display looked like a two-year-old had simply thrown things at the tree. The fire was a nightmare to get going and the sleeve of his Christmas sweater now had a small scorch mark to prove it. His attempt at Christmas cookies sat on a plate on the coffee table, burnt around the edges, icing running all over and pooling in places which highlighted the unevenness of his offerings. At least the music was soothing.

“Millicent… don’t you dare.” He glared at the lythe ginger cat who was eyeing the tree once more. The fact he’d had to pry the little maniac out of the branches three times already, causing the gifts beneath the tree to become a little battered, had him narrowing his eyes, preparing to pounce before she had a chance to make it a fourth.

Just as he was stalking towards his troublesome cat, he heard keys in the door, and his whole demeanour changed. A soft smile tugged at his lips, and a feeling of nervousness, which had never quite left him when it came to you, washed over him. Suddenly, he felt very self-conscious. Should he rush to greet you?  Should he lean against the fireplace? What should he do with his arms? As he floundered for the right response, you came into view and all that nervous anxiety faded into the background.

“Hello, sweetie. Wow! Looks like you’ve been busy while we were away.”

He simply shrugged, as if this had not been a complete labour of love, taking him the entire week while you had been visiting family. Armitage watched you closely, desperately hoping for your approval.

“What do you think, little one? Did daddy do a good job?” You smiled softly at the six-month-old child in your arms, who seemed rather enamoured with the twinkling tree.

“I’m sorry it isn’t your usual standard…”

“My standard? Oh, you sweet, adorable man, this is absolutely perfect. Thank you.” You crossed over to him and tenderly caressed his cheek before placing a loving kiss to his lips. This was your third Christmas together as a couple, the first as parents, and the effort he had gone to made your heart grow twenty times bigger.

“Well, I wouldn’t say perfect.” He murmured, bending a little to kiss his daughter’s forehead, catching Millicent disappearing beneath the tree out of the corner of his eye.

“Armitage, it is perfect.” You smiled tenderly and he felt that familiar feeling of his world softening around the edges.

As you passed your daughter over to him, you took in all the little details. The mistletoe hanging, and the smattering of tiny holes in the ceiling where it had obviously taken him several attempts to get it to stay up. The lop-sided tree, missing its star because the top branches were crushed against the ceiling. The oddly shaped cookies which possibly should have been snowflakes, but now had the appearance of melted snowmen. Turning your gaze back to your husband, watching him explain the intricacies of tree decoration to your tiny daughter as she reached for the sparkling lights, you really couldn’t describe this as anything but perfect.

“Oh, Millicent! For god’s sake!” Armitage huffed as the ginger menace’s head popped out of the branches, a smug, self-satisfied look on her face as several baubles bounced to the floor, causing you to laugh.

“I take it she has been ‘helping’ you with the tree since you got it?” You smirked as he rolled his eyes.

“She is just lucky I haven’t punted her out of the window yet.” He groused, but there was no real threat there, you both knew Millie was part of the family and he adored her.

“Millicent Hux, get out of that tree.” You said sternly, and the cat slank back, not leaving the tree branches, but at least staying out of sight, so that could be considered a win.

Armitage wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you into his side. “I missed you. I know I was working, but…”

But the festive season without you by his side just reminded him of how lonely he had been before you had dragged him into this magical chaos. Every day, he was so grateful that you had seen something in him worth pursuing, something that meant you put up with him at his worst as well as his best. Placing a tender kiss to your forehead, he silently thanked whichever supernatural deity who was responsible for dropping you into his life.

“Oh, I got us all new Christmas jumpers. I’m afraid this one is more colourful than your last.” You smirked as you looked up at your husband with a hint of adoration. This adorable, awkward mess of a man really was the best person you knew, and you enjoyed pulling him out of his comfort zones.

“When you say colourful… please tell me it isn’t neon.” He sighed dramatically, trying to hold back his smile.

“You always assume neon. When has it ever been neon?” You teased, heading over to your bags to find the jumpers.

“One day your mummy will bring me neon, and I will only have myself to blame.” He cooed down at his daughter with a grin. His girls were home, Christmas was fast approaching, all was right in his world once more.

[annasinterests]

don't look at me like that unless you mean it

all day long, i'm wearing a mask of false bravado ♫ trying to keep up a smile that hides a tear

|| series masterlist || main masterlist ||

a/n: she's alive!!! wow life has been so busy (and depressing lowkey) so sorry for taking forever to update. i do fear this may be a little underwhelming given the wait but i'm finally moving the plot along how i want it. i've also looked at this for way too long so i just need to post it or else it'll never leave the drafts. love y'all, enjoy <3

word count: 7.7k

pairings: joel miller x f!reader

warnings & tags: minors dni, reader is lowkey highkey going through it, family dinner!, approaching threats, yearning, joel and reader have a bad case of the feels, swearing, mentions of blood/violence — please tell me if i missed anything!

It wasn’t addressed the morning after. Or during the late dinner that following night.

Not even two, three days later.

Which brought you to today, and still nothing. It was like a heavy fog that refused to dissipate, a complete contrast to the week before when words had flowed more freely between you two until that night. Now and then a brief conversation was shared, though its brevity only emphasized the distance that crept between you both.

And then there were those accursed papers, the unwelcome intruder into your already strained dynamic.

The progress was coming along much slower than you anticipated being that you had limited windows of time to work on them, often staying up late into the night in your room, or quietly flipping through them at the kitchen table or out on the front porch.

You had finally sorted them into two piles: the map and patrol schedules, and the roster and patrol logs. The constant scribbling, drawing, and highlighting had taken a toll on the papers, rendering them almost unrecognizable from their original state due to your desperate need to find connections, no matter how small they might be.

Despite your efforts to compartmentalize your thoughts on shift, your mind remained clouded with the ever-pressing mystery. Fortunately, today you’d been paired up with Mike, a partner that appreciated the comfortable silences and occasionally engaged in small talk about Jackson and everyday life, offering respite from the chaotic whirlpool that was your head over the last few days.

Returning to the stables after the long day wasn’t the reward you were hoping you felt like it was going to be, the idea of another sleepless night deciphering the papers looming over you. You leaned on the gate of your horse’s pen, observing the gentle giant before you, America.

She was brought in to Jackson just a few weeks after you settled, slightly underweight and skittish, but with the promise of improvement with time. It was during one of your grooming sessions when you hummed along to A Horse with No Name on your Walkman that you realized the irony of it, finding her name to be fitting of the circumstances.

She nudged your hands that were lazily draped over the wooden gate, prompting a weak smile from you. You reached up to caress her muzzle and forehead, her eyes closing in response as she leaned into your touch. Resting your forehead against hers, your hands moved to her cheeks, where you continued to stroke her gently.

“My best girl, always know when I’m off, don’t you?” She nickered and nudged you again, deepening your smile. “Rest up, I’ll see you in the morning.”

Just as you set her feeding pail within reach and tossed a few apples into her pen, the sound of your name caught your attention and spun you around to see Lottie. You squinted at the older woman, unsure of why she was all the way out here looking for you just as curfew was setting in.

“Lottie,” your voice was light with concern, guiding her shoulder gently back towards housing, “everything alright?”

“Oh, sure is!” She waved a hand, “I stopped by your house earlier today, I didn’t know you were out until Ellie told me and– which, can I just say, she is such a sweetheart. I mean she’s just-”

The corner of your lips curled up as she continued to gush, a prideful sense swelling up in you as when anyone spoke highly of her. You were drawn back into the conversation when she finally rounded to the point in front of her own home.

“Anyway, I didn’t know if you’d run out of this yet-” She reached into her satchel and retrieved a jar, “Here.”

You quirked a brow as she pushed it into your hands. The liquid inside looked dark in the fading light, but a familiar white label with cursive caught your eye. A smile spread on Lottie’s face as your eyes widened, recognizing the gift she’d given you, “Lottie, I-”

You couldn’t finish your sentence, your fingers curling around the jar as if it were the most fragile thing in the world. You brought it close to your chest, a genuine smile spreading across your face. “I can’t say thank you enough.”

“No need, sweetie.” Seeing the joy it brought you was more than enough for her, her hands clasped together under her chin and grinning. “Anything for you and Joel.”

You met her eyes at the mention of his name.

“I would’ve just given it to him like last time, but I figured since it was for you anyway, I’d just give it to you myself.” She winked at you, “Save you the wait.”

You tried to appear as cool as possible even though it felt like you were short-circuiting. Last time? She knew it was for you?

“Well,” you cleared your throat, eager to change the subject “thank you again, Lottie. I better get going before it’s too late.”

Offering her a sweet smile and a nod, you rounded the corner, your thoughts buzzing with the secret she unknowingly let you in on until you stepped through your front door.

You hadn’t realized how hungry you were until the smell of food reached your nose once you stepped inside, the aroma being the best welcome home you’d had in a while. Ellie’s head poked into the hallway, her cheerful greeting echoing down it as you kicked off your boots and followed the delightful scent to its source.

To your right was Dina standing by the stove, deftly balancing a pot and pan, while Ellie and Jesse worked together by cutting bread and vegetables at the island. She spoke without taking her eyes off her cooking, “You can probably get in a quick shower before it’s ready.”

You couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at the unexpected feast. “What’s all this about?”

“A thank you for letting us crash on your couch tonight.”

The post-curfew rule.

With a full kitchen, it still lacked one person. Hoping it didn’t sound as awkward as it felt, you inquired, “Is, uh.. Joel home?”

Ellie answered, “Yeah, he’s-”

“Right here.”

His muffled voice called from the dining room, emerging seconds later while wiping his hands on his jeans. His gaze first landed on you, then your hands, then back up to you with a drastic difference from his initial look. Your fingers involuntarily curled around the jar, feeling an immediate tension. The kids were chattering, but you weren’t listening as you locked eyes with him, his lips curled inward slightly.

“Gonna share with the class?”

Jesse’s voice and nearing presence brought you back to the scene that was your kitchen, pointing at your possession. Rather than telling, you handed it to him and watched as he surveyed it.

“Ah, honey.” He stated once he saw the label, turning it over to a curious Dina that approached his side. “Tupelo– What’s that, something special?”

Ellie’s cutting slowed at his question, darting her eyes quickly at Joel, and then you. Your attention remained fixed on it, your mouth half-opened as you pondered how to respond. It was special– in ways that went beyond mere taste.

“The flavor.” You replied with a soft smile, turning away to go upstairs.

The shower was just what you needed to wash away the day’s stress, the hot water a godsend on your skin. You returned perfectly on time as everyone took their seats at the table. Jesse sat next to Ellie, Ellie next to Dina, Dina across from you, which left you besides Joel.

Awkwardly, you sat at the same time, acutely aware of the other’s presence yet made no move to so much as look at the other out the corner of your eye. And if it couldn’t have been more awkward, you reached for the serving utensils simultaneously. You both retracted and silently urged the other to go first, although Joel held out longer.

The bread and vegetables Jesse and Ellie had been cutting were spread evenly on a large board that featured sliced cucumbers, carrots, bell peppers, cherry tomatoes, zucchini, and a dip in the middle of it all. The main course consisted of salmon with lemon-herb orzo and broccoli that made your mouth water just at the sight of, leaving you thoroughly impressed and appreciative with their efforts of cooking such a meal for so many.

Your hand grazed against his in passing it over, the sudden contact an electric shock to you. You stole a discreet glance at his fingers as they curled around the handle, following up along his strong forearms where the veins subtly raised under his skin– those same veins that you knew continued up. A desire simmered in your lower belly, fantasizing about how those very arms and fingers brought you great pleasure just earlier in the week, now borderline aching to have them on and around you again.

“Don’t wait too long, it’ll get cold.” Ellie’s gentle words reached your ears along with a small smile, her forearm resting against the edge with a clean fork in hand.

Quickly glancing around the table, you noticed that everyone else had started eating except you, apparent that she was waiting on you.

“Sorry, just-” You shook your head and picked up the spatula to serve yourself, “You guys really outdid yourselves.”

Jesse chimed in, “Well, technically Ellie and Dina did everyth-”

Dina interrupted with enthusiasm, “Oh, nuh-uh! This was a group effort!”

“Yeah! You carried everything back to the house,” Ellie added while she picked up a forkful of salmon and orzo, “that’s like, half the battle right there.”

Jesse rolled his eyes, “Yeah, but I didn’t actually cook anything.”

Ellie covered her mouth, her words slightly muffled by the food. “But you did cut the shit out of some bread, though.”

Jesse lowered his fork, shaking his head with mock annoyance and trying to hide his laugh, which only caused a burst of laughter from the girls. You hid your own smile behind your hand, sneaking a glance at Joel who’d been hiding his behind a glass of water.

“Whatever, anyway– what’s new with you guys?” He poked his fork into his plate, “Haven’t seen you since before the party, no?”

“Oh yeah, the party!” Dina exclaimed, “How was it?”

The three of them leaned in eagerly, curiosity shining in their eyes. Their intense gazes demanding details from either of you. Quickly, you grabbed your drink and took long, deliberate sips of the ice cold water, prolonging any sort of answer. You didn’t even dare to look at Joel. You hoped that each gulp would shock away the memories that threatened to play at the forefront of your mind; the drinking, jealousy, dancing, arguing, kissing–

Apparently, he had the same idea.

“Ah,” Jesse spoke in a hushed tone, “I see.”

“Mmhm, me too,” Dina joined in with a conspiratorial whisper, “Ellie?”

You raised your finger before she could input, feeling her response through her smug expression she directed your way.

“Easy.” Joel’s sudden tone was light with a hint of caution, “Nothin’ for you kids to worry about, jus’ adults being adults.”

Your attempt to conceal a guilty smile didn’t go unnoticed by them, turning their gaze to you in unison, then back to Joel.

“Adults being adults, huh?” Ellie teased.

“Ellie–”

“Oh, come on, Joel!” She egged him on. “Give us something.”

You busied yourself with another bite as Joel did his signature sigh of annoyance, wearing an expression that clearly showed his mild irritation.

“Really? Nothing? Either of you?”

You both continued to stare back at her, Joel’s gaze more unamused than yours, as you wore a slight smile on your face.

“Yeah, they’re definitely not telling.” Jesse piped up, “They’re doing the parent thing.”

Your smile dropped like you’d been caught in the act, but it was really at his use of being her..

“What parent thing?” Ellie switched her attention to Jesse.

Parent.

Moreso the allusion of being her parent.

Maybe it looked that way– sure felt that way sometimes, but the term wasn’t ever actually used. Maybe it made sense, though. After all, she did call Tommy ‘Uncle Tommy’.

“You know, the thing where you can ask them a million times, but they won’t say a word? Either because the answer is so obvious or they’re just not going to spill the beans, so they give you the old stare-down until you figure it out on your own?”

Okay, maybe he was onto something.

Ellie fell quiet for a second, looking down at her plate as she pondered the idea. Then, she lifted her eyes to you both.

“So that’s what that’s called?”

You shared a look with Joel before you both took simultaneous sips from your glasses, inciting another round of laughter from the kids.

To your relief, the conversation veered toward lighter topics after that. You finished your meal quietly and enjoyed the banter between Ellie and her friends. Occasionally, you caught Joel in your peripheral, a small smile playing on his lips as he watched on.

It’d been just half-past midnight when you looked at the clock, dragging a hand over your tired eyes. You’d spent the last few hours trying to put together a puzzle with pieces that felt like they were from different sets, making less progress than you would’ve liked. But, you did now have a foundation regarding the people who threatened Jackson, finally having a solid list of their names and physical descriptions.

On paper, it seemed like a group of six to seven all in varying stages of their twenties, led particularly by a man and woman. According to the logs, it suggested as if they all had some sort of combat and marksman skill, though two in particular were perceived to have medical training as well.

With a heavy sigh, you put your pen down on your desk, slumping back in your chair and feeling your muscles uncoil from being hunched over for so long while you drew out an organization chart. You flexed your fingers, trying to soothe the soreness from gripping the pen tightly for so long, and gently massaged your aching knuckles.

Reluctantly, you scooped all the papers together and rolled in your chair to your nightstand to shove them in the drawer, calling it an “early” night. The soft glow of your lamp, usually a comfort, was becoming nothing more than a nuisance at the hour. All you wanted was to retreat into the darkness under your covers.

You rose and stretched out your limbs, aiming to release the tension but froze midway when a knock came from the door, glancing back at your clock once more before padding over to the door.

To your surprise, it’d been Joel, with coffee, tea, and a warm slice of blueberry pie.

“Saw your light was still on..” he gestured with the plate, “.. kids brought this over, too.”

You opened the door wider, inviting him in if he wished to enter. He slowly stepped past you, getting a waft of the treats as he did.

“Little late for sweets, don’t you think?” You teased.

He set down the plate and tea on your desk, shooting you a knowing look, “Since when do you say no to a midnight snack?”

You rolled your eyes at his point. Never. Especially when the smell of warm blueberries and sweetness filled the air.

You slumped into your chair again, throwing one leg over the other as you leaned back with the steaming cup of tea in hand. With the first sip, you could immediately tell what Joel had added to it.

He stood near the foot of your bed in a way that it looked like he wasn’t sure what to do with himself, teetering between leaving and staying. You noticed his reading glasses folded and hanging from the collar of his shirt, making an excuse for him to stick around for a few more minutes.

“Late night reading?”

He followed your gaze down to his chest, his fingers momentarily brushing over them, “Been stuck on the same chapter for a while.. can’t seem to get past it.”

You knew the feeling too well.

“What about you?” He drew a sip from his mug, taking a seat on your bed

You leaned forward to trade the tea for the pie, the plate still warm against your fingers. “Can’t sleep.”

It wasn’t entirely a lie.

He nodded at the answer, glad he deemed it as a believable one. The slice was gone within a few bites, the portion expertly cut to serve as the perfect midnight snack. For a while, you sat in companionable silence, quietly sipping from your mugs.

“Did it-”

“Well I-”

You both paused, a light chuckle filling the space. He motioned for you to speak first.

“I hope I’m not overstepping, but..” you hesitated, gauging his reaction to the warning you were giving him. He remained calm– open, even, to your curiosity. “Did it feel weird to be called a parent again?”

His expression was still soft, though his eyes fell to the hand on his knee, his thumb absently tracing the material of his pants. It was rare that you even brought up the thought of her. She represented the stark difference of your losses, and while he never made you feel like yours were less, you knew there was a unique pain that came from losing your own child. One that you’d never experienced.

“It’s.. complicated.” He sighed, “But it didn’t feel wrong.”

You watched the gears turn in his head and patiently awaited his choice to delve further or simply let it rest.

“I was lucky enough to be a father once, and when I lost..” His voice died down, both his hands cradling the coffee mug but looking as if they’d drop it at any moment. Gently, you took it from him and placed it alongside your abandoned tea, settling next to him and rubbing soft circles on his shoulder.

“When I lost her, I thought that was it.” His fingers brushed against your knee, their movements almost trembling and uncertain. “I did the worst thing a parent could do– I failed her.”

You placed your hand on top of his lightly, curling your fingers into his palm.

“Yet, somehow, I was given a second chance.” His hand curled around yours, “She gave me a second chance.”

The vulnerability made your heart ache, to listen to him speak so candidly about something that haunted him for years.

“She can’t replace my Sarah, but I don’t need her to. I love her just as she is.”

A smile tugged at the corner of your lips at the admission, though you didn’t need him to say it to know that’s how he felt about the teen living twenty feet from your backdoor.

You rubbed your thumb over his wrist, glancing down at your joined hands and then back up at him. “She loves you too.”

You could see the small smile appearing on his face at your words, his head dropping slightly and nudging you with his shoulder in a way that elicited a soft chuckle out of you.

In the light moment, you pulled back to grab both your mugs and rejoined him at his side. You enjoyed the silence, savoring your drinks of choice again. The floral sweetness tickled your nose with each sip, the honey making it go down more smooth compared to when you drank it without.

“How do you feel about it?”

You met his soft gaze, the glow of your bedroom lamp casting a gentle light on his features, making him appear even softer despite his imposing frame. For a moment, your eyes roamed over him, tracing the path of his beard down his neck to the glasses that hung from his shirt, and catching a final glimpse of a vein that ran up his bicep and hid under his sleeve. He looked so..

You tapped your finger on the rim of your mug, forcing yourself to rip your eyes away and distract yourself with a sip of your tea before answering.

“I mean, it’s..” You sighed, searching for the right words but coming up short. “Complicated, like you said.”

Your fingers traced patterns on the mug’s surface as a rush of feelings overwhelmed you, but your voice remained steady, “She didn’t even flinch at the implication, which I feel says a lot, you know?”

You swirled the last bit of tea at the bottom as you gathered your thoughts. “I never got to have kids, but with her, there’s just this feeling, this..”

“Instinct.”

You looked up at him and found an understanding in his eyes. He wasn’t offering to fill the gap, he was telling you what it was.

“Instinct.. to protect her as my own. Be the one she can rely on, love her through all the good and bad– stuff like that.”

A light chuckle into his coffee had you knitting your brows together, “What?”

“That’s what a parent does.” He shrugged with a half-smile.

You bit your lip as you looked down, drawing the mug up as his words sunk in and downing the last bit of tea left. You shook your head, an uncertainty still persisting.

“I don’t know, Joel. I don’t want her to feel like I’m trying to take that place. I don’t want her to think that–”

“Hey– she doesn’t.” He interrupted with a hand between your shoulders, “You’re just bein’ you, and you are what matters to her.”

Between the lack of good rest and emotional turmoil, it left you too weary to offer a counter argument. You simply surrendered to his word and settled for silence. Slowly, you leaned into him and rested your head into the crook of his shoulder, his arm gently wrapping around you and soothingly rubbing up and down your arm.

“Thanks, Joel.”

The words were barely a whisper but brimmed with sincerity, earning a simple hum in response and a cheek resting atop your head.

Moments like this reminded you how fortunate you were to have them both, to have found and created a life together after enduring the worst kinds of casualties. To have loved, lost, and found a purpose again.

“Try to get some sleep, alright?” He squeezed your arm and withdrew, reminding you both of the early morning ahead.

You nodded, observing as he gathered your empty mug and plate and balanced them all with one hand. A comforting smile graced his lips before he took his leave, yet he lingered in the doorway with his hand on the doorknob.

“If it makes a difference,” he looked at you as he spoke, “I think you’re one hell of a mom to her.”

A rush of warmth flooded your cheeks and made you look down at your hands that couldn’t seem to stay still now. When you summoned the courage to meet his eyes again, he shot you a wink and finally closed the door.

Padding over to the lamp and finding the switch under the shade, your fingers ceased to flip it as you stared at the dip in your bed where you both sat.

It wasn’t the conversation you expected, nor a conversation you expected at all, but it was one that undoubtedly drew you closer to him.

Despite only getting a few hours of shut-eye, you surprisingly felt well-rested. You welcomed the sun peeking through the blinds as it created a calm atmosphere in your room that further motivated you to get ready for the day, as well as the smell of fresh coffee brewing that had you hurrying to get downstairs for a cup and quick breakfast before heading out.

Joel’s back had been turned to you in front of the pot, noticing your presence almost instantly and quick to hand you a thermos with a mumbled good mornin’. You leaned against the counter beside him, feeling the warmth radiate through the cup, the sensation running a pleasant shiver through your body.

He watched you carefully as he situated himself, your state of peace bringing a smile to his face; your eyes closed with contentment as you inhaled the rich aroma, the steam rolling over your face in small waves.

Over the rim of the cup, you noticed the jar of honey you acquired less than twelve hours ago sitting on the counter. You figured that Jesse had forgotten about it once he set it down. Crossing the kitchen, you picked it up, giving it a once-over before turning to Joel with a smirk.

“So.. you did know.” The remark lacked any real accusal.

Joel leaned back, gripping the counter with one hand, crinkling his eyebrows and casually shrugging as he brought the coffee to his lips, “I have no idea what you’re talkin’ about.”

Your smile deepened, “Oh, really-”

He loudly put the empty coffee pot in the sink, effectively cutting off your incoming line of questioning, ushering you to put down the jar and move, “C’mon, we’re gonna be late.”

You rolled your eyes and swiftly reached for two apples from the fruit bowl on the island. Blindly, you shoved one into your own pack and deftly managed to slip the other into Joel’s for later, all while he rushed you both.

On the walk over you made a few more attempts to extract an answer from him, but were met with skillful deflections that made you giggle with each evasion. You took a sip of your coffee, raising and dropping your shoulders in a mocked defeat.

“Well, guess I could ask Lottie, then.”

He quickly shot you a look, “Or you could not.”

You laughed and playfully swatted at his shoulder, “So you’ll tell me then?”

He let out a huff and shook his head, gesturing to the patrol board that was surrounded by more people than you expected, “Let’s save it for when there aren’t so many ears around?”

You flashed him a grin and deliberately raised your voice with each word, “Why? Don’t want people knowing your little secret about-”

He swiftly stepped in front of you, putting just enough space between you both to maintain propriety. His faint smile lingered as he lightly touched your shoulder. “Listen, I promise you can give me all the grief you want later, alright?”

It was almost endearing how flustered he got, though you had no intention of revealing anything. Even after you agreed, he held your gaze for a moment longer, and you swore you saw a glint of something intimate before he turned away. Excitement fluttered in your belly after joining the line, your body flushing with a mild heat from the quick moment of close proximity.

As you approached the board, Joel lagged behind in conversation with a fellow patrol member. You scanned the board, quickly reading names over and between figures, though none revealed your own. Once at the front, you used your finger and dragged down the list until you found your name, darting over to the next column where you raised an eyebrow at seeing your partner for the shift was none other than Joel himself.

You turned to him still absorbed in discussion, moving out of the way for others and politely tapping his shoulder as you offered a warm smile to the other man. “Hey, we should start moving out.”

His eyes flickered between you and the board, pointing to it and nodding, “Yeah, let me go see-”

You placed your hand on his forearm to stop him from walking, being met with an inquisitive brow.

“You and me, Miller.”

You grinned at his surprise, patting his shoulder twice and brushing past to go to the stables. Besides being tricked by Tommy earlier in the week and today, you hadn’t been paired up for patrol in quite some time, and part of you believed this was another convoluted plan on his again.

It didn’t take long for Joel to follow you and ride down to the gate together, falling in with the assembled group with Tommy at the front giving one of his customary speeches before departure. He found you both easily with a mischievous smile, cementing your belief.

The route today was to go through Wilson Valley down to Elk Creek, take Elk Creek to Colten Bay, then loop back around to Wilson Valley. It wasn’t one of your favorite routes by any means, finding it less scenic compared to others, much of it consisting of open fields and small bodies of water overrun with algae that served as markers.

The first few hours were just as boring as you expected them to be, the majority of it spent traversing to Wilson Valley alone. You didn’t bother to hold America’s reins as she navigated the familiar path. Instead, your hands took small sections of her mane to gently detangle and then braid.

Your eyes roamed over the vast land and mountainous structures, the varying hues of green and yellow abundant everywhere you looked. Dilapidated houses and barns littered along the fields, worn and picked down to their foundation, no longer even offering shelter to the poorest of travelers.

As time passed, impatience crept in. It felt like you were seeing the same sparse trees and tall grass over and over again, the scenery quickly becoming more monotonous by the minute.

You peered over at Joel with nonchalance, “Is now a good time for that grief?”

A grin appeared on his face as he looked down at his saddle and then back to you, raising his hands and letting them fall on his thighs with a playful flair, “If you must.”

You simpered, simply reiterating an earlier point. “So, again, you did know.”

He nodded, “Yeah, I did. And yes, I got it from Lottie.”

You didn’t get the chance to get a question out before he started speaking again.

“She stopped me one mornin’ on my way in for patrol, not too long after she dropped off that box for you. Was askin’ me if you liked honey in your tea, ran inside and brought it out to show me.” He chuckled as he told the details, “When I saw what kind it was, told her I’d pick it up on my way home that evenin’.”

“But how do you?..” You furrowed your brows at him, still stuck on the how. “I don’t recall ever-”

“You remember when we’d camp out durin’ our runs back in Boston?”

You nodded.

“And how sometimes we’d bring a bottle if we knew it was gonna be a long night?”

Your groan transformed into a laughter and rang into the air with his, the era of that time certainly not lost in your memory.

“Yeah, it’d been one of those nights. You were sittin’ there, tellin' me about it with all smiles.” You cringed, now realizing why you didn’t remember. “Didn’t quite understand why until you said her name.”

You took up America’s reins in your hands as the bittersweet memories flashed through your mind of a better time. His voice held a soft, contemplative tone as he continued.

“The way you talked about it– talked about her– was like you were tellin’ a story from just a few days ago. Hadn’t seen you talk like that about anything before.”

Your grip tightened as he recounted the memory from his perspective, rubbing the leather between your fingers as an ache bloomed in your chest.

“So when I saw it– I knew I couldn’t pass it up, and I told you I didn’t know because I thought..” He trailed off, running a hand over his beard and letting out a sigh, “.. I thought it would’ve made it more special.”

Your hands were so hot you were certain the reins would’ve caught on fire. You couldn’t do anything but rub your thumbs faster against the material to quell the rising emotions, the stinging in your nose that made it crinkle without fail every time. Biting down on your lip, you looked away and let a few tears bounce off your cheeks before swiftly wiping away the remnants.

You got one of your answers, but fuck– you weren’t expecting all of that. He remembered because he saw how happy it made you one night all those years ago?

He knew– he fucking knew– and he never would’ve told you so that you could have it to yourself.

The alarms were blaring. The sign clear as day. It wasn’t coincidence, it wasn’t chance– it was pure deliberation driven by an old memory. And it messed with you hard, because you knew that in knowing, there was loving. A type of love without the need for grand declarations and elaborate speeches to prove it, because it’s proved by showing.

You couldn’t look at him during this minor epiphany, and a frown formed on his face when he realized. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to, because you did– but if you did, it would be too real. It would mean that you were right and that he lo–

“M’sorry if I-”

“No!” The word came out more frantic than you intended, catching him off guard with its intensity. His face registered a mixture of confusion, quickly correcting yourself with a softer tone. “N-No, don’t apologize, Joel-”

“I–” A weak smile tugged at your lips, trying your best to keep the tears at bay, “It’s nice that you knew.”

Amidst all the other uncertainties and unresolved issues between you two, this was something entirely different– a direct, indisputable act on his part. Yet you knew it wouldn’t be so easily discussed as such.

So your horses continued to trot along the path in silence, entering Elk Creek.

You sat at the edge of a small lake in the warm gravel, little past the halfway point of the route and well into Colten Bay.

The last few hours were pleasant, marked every so often by eye contact and the exchange of a soft smile. Joel continued on about the honey ordeal, explaining that Ellie got roped into it not long ago when she asked to use some after discovering it in the pantry. She’d looked at him oddly when he told her to use it sparingly, then having to reason as to why. You chuckled as he recalled the details of their conversation that day, Ellie’s eyes widening at learning a new fact about you, pulling up a chair and practically begging Joel to share more stories about your time together in Boston. According to him, the conversation had started early in the afternoon in the kitchen and lasted late into the evening in the living room, even surviving their stop at the Tipsy Bison to grab a quick dinner, her curiosity unwavering

Despite the unremarkable scenery of the lake, you enjoyed it with Joel by your side. The trees towered over you enough to give shade from the dwindling sun, casting dappled sunlight over the forests and mountains in the distance that contrasted against the blue sky.

You passed a paper bag back and forth with jerky in it, preferring to string your pieces apart rather than bite and pull until your jaw was sore, which earned you teasing from Joel.

“Laugh it up, old timer.” You quipped, “You’re lucky there’s no more TV, because if there was, I’d film how you eat and send it straight to National Geographic.”

You couldn’t tell what made you laugh harder, your own joke or Joel’s belly laugh to the point wiping away tears from the corners of his eyes. You grabbed his arm to steady yourself, both of you involuntarily leaning in towards one another, and for a moment, it didn’t feel like you were working. You were just two friends enjoying each other’s company.

“Man,” you reached for the bag and shoved it into your pack, standing off and dusting off the back of your thighs, “I got you fucking good.”

Still chuckling, he shook his head and took your offered hand, following you back to the horses. He began to speak, but the words fell deaf on your ears as you heard the faint crunching of sticks and swishing of leaves close by, snapping your head in the direction and raising a hand for him to be quiet. He caught on instantly.

You both acted swiftly, instinct taking over as Joel drew his revolver while you unholstered yours, aiming with precision and falling into synchronized steps. The rustling grew louder and louder until a figure bursted through the underbrush and halted upon seeing you both.

Before you stood a young woman, clearly in a state of panic and distress. Fresh blood stained her clothes and smeared across her face. She raised her arms, chest heaving as if she’d been running for some time.

“I-I don’t mean harm!”

You maintained a cautious stance, your eyes fixed firmly on the woman. Her wide brown eyes darted nervously between you and Joel, sweat plastering her short hair to her forehead. She was short, maybe shorter than Ellie, and thin.

“I-I was chased.” She stammered, “Got separated from my people.”

“And who are your people?” You pressed rigidly.

“Just a few of us– please, you gotta-”

Whatever plea she’d been begging drowned out as you really began to stare at her. She was covered in blood, yet had no wounds to show for it. Not even a scratch. Slowly, details from your chart began to emerge.

Female. White. 5’1-5’4.

You narrowed your eyes.

Short dark hair. Slim build.

Your jaw tensed.

Fuck, what was her name– Mel?

You muttered her name under your breath, catching Joel’s attention as he looked at you in his peripheral.

“I’m sorry-” You cut her off sharply as she was still blabbering, “I don’t think we got your name.”

She froze, shuffling her feet and darting her eyes away and back to you, “M-Miranda.”

You decided to go out on a limb

“You seen any wolves, Miranda?”

Her face flushed, and you saw her mask slip for a moment before putting on the facade again, “Wolves? I haven’t seen any wolves.”

An anger simmered in you. Liar.

Joel took a step closer to you, maintaining his gaze on the girl while lowering his voice, “Care to tell me what it is you’re doin’ here?”

You ignored his question, “Get on your horse, Joel.”

“What?” He scrunched his face, “I’m not-”

He paused when he caught the lethal look in your eyes, scowling at your insistence but ultimately complying. There wasn’t enough time to explain nor were you privy to the idea of letting him in on your work outside of work.

“I told you my name, I think it’s only fair that-” She began to reason, but it only made you more angry.

“Oh, I don’t think that’s necessary.” You backed up until you reached America and swiftly hoisted yourself up, flickering your eyes into the trees every few moments. You kept your pistol trained on her, “Be careful about those wolves, Miranda.”

You stared down at her, your voice dripping with venom, “If there’s one, there’s probably a pack nearby.”

Luckily with Joel ahead, he missed your insinuation. The woman glared you down and snarled as you rode off, dropping her hands down in a frustrated defeat.

You ushered him to pick up the pace, taking the lead through the remainder of Colten Bay and all throughout Wilson Valley, your head on a swivel the entire time. The hours painfully dragged by, doing a number on your anxiety as you couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched the rest of the way home.

Immense relief washed over you upon seeing Jackson’s gate in the distance, whistling up to the guards so you could ride straight through and to the stables, not wasting another minute beyond the walls as the night fell.

You led America into her pen, fetching her feeding pail and gently gliding your hand along her neck as she ate. You couldn’t stop thinking of Mel, that look she gave you when you let her know you weren’t falling for her act.

It was too close, and you berated yourself mentally for not doing more. You shouldn’t have killed her, right? Even though she was the enemy? No. You didn’t condone killing people in that cold of blood.. Not anymore, at least. Should you have tied her up and brought her back? Interrogated her more? Maybe. But doing so might’ve pissed off your enemies even more and put Jackson at an even greater risk.

Truthfully, you did what was best. You recognized the trouble and withdrew without wasting any bullets or risking injury, moreover keeping Joel safe, who seemed peeved with you at the moment.

Looking over at him, you noticed a small figure at his side. Your hand fell hard on America’s gate, the other finding your hip as you cocked your head.

That fucking woman from the party.

You couldn’t miss the broad smile she aimed at him, leaning casually against a pillar and swearing a shirt that left little to the imagination. You scoffed loudly at the audacity to come out here just to flirt right before curfew.

Your disapproval didn’t go unnoticed, Joel shooting you a look over his shoulder that begged you not to start. Seizing the moment, the woman shot you a dirty look before switching back to her charming smile when he turned his attention back to her.

Thankfully, Tommy entered the stables, and for once, you were grateful for his presence. With a smirk, you strided over to Joel and slipped your hand under his arm to guide him away.

“Um, excuse me!” Her high-pitched tone doubled as annoying and surprising. Reluctantly, you met her gaze, but didn’t drop your hold on Joel. “We were having a conversation.”

“Yeah? Well, that’s too bad.” Her mouth gaped.

“I think what she meant was that-” Joel attempted to soothe the burn, but you were absolutely having none of it.

“I meant exactly that.”

You smiled at him, successfully pulling away and getting joy from seeing her on the brink of a temper tantrum. You even smiled through the scolds he muttered to you under his breath as you approached his brother, his mood entirely sour now.

Tommy’s face shifted from neutral to concerned upon seeing you both with contrasting expressions, “Everythin’ alright?”

The lack of an answer told him what he needed to know, patiently waiting until the stables cleared out completely before giving him a rundown of the incident. You omitted the details you figured from your sidework, chalking the encounter up to being a baiting technique for an ambush.

He rolled his lips under his teeth, tapping his foot against the wood with hands on his hips, a telltale sign of deep thought. For a moment, you weren’t sure what to expect of a response, but you wouldn’t be surprised if it was a form of criticism on your part or a question regarding the situation. However, it never came. He dismissed you both after noting he’d make the necessary alterations for tomorrow, commending you for getting out safely. It was clear that he was shaken up by it, which furthered your guilt.

Joel had a five-step lead on the walk home no matter how hard you tried to keep up. You kept calling out to him, but received no response.

“Joel.” You called again. No answer. “Joel!”

He kept walking, maintaining his pace. You caught up and tugged him back by his arm, “Joel, what the f-”

“Not now.” He tersely replied.

The response was frustratingly vague. Not now? What did he mean not now? He was five steps ahead of you again before you knew it.

“What, are you mad at me?” Your confusion was mounting, and the silence from Joel was only making things worse.

He remained unresponsive, like talking to a brick wall, but you refused to let the matter rest. You didn’t stop pricking until you got home and he couldn’t ignore you any longer.

“Seriously, Joel? You’re not ev-”

“Why didn’t you tell him?”

You creased your brows for a moment, “Tell him what?”

He fixed you with a scrutinizing look, “How you questioned that girl.”

Shit.

“That was-” You darted your eyes away and back to him, letting your hands fall against your thighs, “I was seeing if she was lying.”

“About seeing wolves?” He narrowed his eyes at you. “Awfully specific if y’ask me.”

You straightened up, taking a step towards him, “Is there a problem with how I handle things?”

He let out a scoff, “The problem is when you don’t involve me.”

“Yeah, well next time I’ll make sure to stop and give you a full briefing!” Joel rolled his eyes, and you couldn’t help but feel a sting of annoyance, “Jesus, Joel– I’d think after all this time you’d have a little more trust in me.”

Your inward chuckle ceased when he didn’t respond, his reticence loud as he only looked at you. A pang of hurt hit you hard– Really?

The persisting silence only made it worse.

Whatever. Just go to your room and work for the rest of the night.

Walking past him, he stopped you with a firm hand on your hip.

“‘Course I trust you,” his voice softened, gently turning you to face him, “always have.”

The reassurance calmed you, reducing your fire to embers. His hand fell from you, but a slight frown remained.

“Jus’ can’t stand if somethin’ were to happen and I couldn’t do more because of what I didn’t know,” he searched you for understanding, “make sense?”

You couldn’t stay mad with how genuinely concerned he looked, growing disappointed with yourself for going at him hard when you would’ve done the same thing. Nodding, you mumbled out an apology to him, your eyes stuck on the floor.

Slowly, you felt his arms wrap around you in a way that let you know he accepted it. You exhaled a breath you weren’t aware you were holding as you yielded to his touch, resting against his chest and closing your eyes. The weight of the day felt heavy, but the sound of his heartbeat made it feel just a little lighter.

You thought things were on their way to getting better, that you were closer to tying up loose ends.

But it was only getting complicated again.

[reg-arcturus-black]

Enough is Full of Romance Part 3 - Yet Another Surprise!

Where 2 brilliant talented people fall in love and navigate a life filled with paprazzi, rumors and a private romance after being introduced by their common friend. They say wrong person, right timing is a real thing but Ben and Y/N know they have a deep connection and they will wait for however long it takes!

Warnings: None

Series Masterlist

2.8k words

It had now been quite some time since your encounter with Ben. He had not tried to contact you and neither did you. However, your Instagram post with him did prove to the world that you had met your favorite celebrity. It was a nice picture. Simple enough to not spark rumors but it still did anyway. Finally met Sirius Black! # Fangirl you had written.

You were sure that Ben had seen the post because that is what Andrew told you. He had not pried into the matter and you were grateful. Not because you did not want to tell him but because you did not know what to say. It had all happened so suddenly. One moment you were about to kiss and the next, your past was driving away your present. 

You were in your bed buried under the sheets when your phone buzzed. 

"Y/N Y/L/N is currently suffering from identity crisis. Please leave a message." You said and hung up.

It buzzed again and answering, you groaned into the phone. "It's 8 in the morning. What do you want, Ands?"

"I feel like you have wallowed in self pity long enough, now get up." His voice said on the other end of the line.

"No. Anything else?"

You heard him sigh. "It's just an award, Y/N. How long will this go on for? It's been a week!"

"I am not even going to respond to that... Besides, I am not wallowing any more. Madison is coming over."

You said the name too softly and quietly for him to hear, knowing his reaction already. He didn't like her one bit. Claimed that she is not good for you. You disagreed. You had met her only a few months back but you had become quite close. She was there for you when you needed her. She was a little loud at times but she always made sure you felt appreciated even if... No no. She was a nice person and a good friend. Andrew had nothing to worry about.

"Who?" He asked.

"Just... Just a friend," you mumbled.

"Y/N..." He said, his tone serious.

"Madison."

"Y/N, we have had this conversation million of times... You-"

"So you know that she is a good friend who offered to be with me when I just lost an award."

"I-I didn't mean it that way, darling." Your best friend's voice softened instantly at your jab. "I just didn't want you losing your sleep and happiness over an award, doesn't matter whichever one it is. Your fans, family and friends are the testament to how impactful and amazing your music truly is."

"You truly think that?" You asked, finally peaking your head out from under heavy blanket.

"I do, Y/N. I really do."

"Thank you, Ands. I needed that."

Your phone conversation was cut off when your bell rang.

Andrew sighed, again. "Well, that's my cue. Call soon." He said and hung up.

You rolled out of bed, still in your blanket and dragged yourself to the door, opening it slowly.

"You look like shit." Madison said, eyeing you from head to toe. She walked past you into the kitchen and put her shopping bags on the table.

"Wow, thanks, Mads." You tried to sound sarcastic but already growing conscious about you unwashed hair and white tshirt with ketch up and mustard stains on it.

"I told you to stay away from burgers, Y/N. It doesn't look good on you. Especially the cheese ones." She added.

It was your turn to look at her. Her shiny, flowy hair, perfect face with the perfect sun glasses on them, perfect tank top and shorts highlighting her form in the perfect places.

"But it's my comfort food," you mumbled softly to yourself.

"Anyway, you need to clean yourself up so that I can start cheering you up." She moved you towards your room. "And look what a mess you've been living in!"

Your cheeks suddenly flamed when you remembered the cheese burgers you've had in the last few days and discarded their wrappers not bothering to look for a dustbin.

"I have to go make a few calls meanwhile you, clean up your room and take a bath..." She said, pushing you gently towards the bathroom.

"Fine, fine." You surrendered. "Wait, why do you have shopping bags at 8:30 in the morning?"

"Oh, you'll see." She said and walked out the room, shutting the door behind her.

"Maybe I do need to dial down on the cheese burgers," you sighed and started picking up your mess. You first collected all the pieces of trash and threw them in a dustbin, but then remembering you might as well take out the trash. Madison was on the phone when you asked for her help so that's why she probably didn't hear you.

You then focused on the bed. You changed the sheets and put the old ones in the washer. Neatly arranged your blanket and finally went for a bath. You washed and scrubbed and shaved and finally breath in relief when you felt like you were feeling better.

"My, my, don't you look fantastic." Madison said, the moment you walked out. "Some might say, you look even prettier than I do!"

Her voice had a hint of seriousness and you did not like it.

"I am only joking, Y/N. Now let's go!" She handed you your bag and phone and putting her arm through your arm, she started towards the door with car keys in her hand.

"Wait, who is that?" Your eyes suddenly widened at the sight of strange men in your kitchen. "What are they doing here, Mads?"

"You’ll see. Now let’s go!" She pulled you out the door and into her car and started driving.

"Can you at least tell me where we are going?"

"Oh you will see. It is the perfect place."

She drove in silence for a while before asking you a question she seemed like she wanted to ask since forever. "I heard there was a guy in the scene. What happened."

What happened was the question that you had been asking yourself, too. Maybe talking about it with someone else would help. Because you knew Mads would understand.

"It’s - it’s kinda complicated, Mads but -"

"Oh, hey, that’s okay. I get it. You will never believe what just happened."

"Oh... okay, then." You said with a tinge of sadness.

"So I went to Starbies to get us some coffees but on the way over I got so sleepy so I had to drink yours, too. Well, it’s not like you aren’t going to treat me now hahahaha."

"Sure I will." You said, slightly amused, slightly confused.

Soon she stopped in front of a dress store. "Retail therapy," she winked.

She barged into the store as if she owned and started exploring.

"Mads..." You said softly. "This place is pretty expensive."

"But it is worth it. See," she said, holding up a black strap less to your face. 

The moment your eyes fell on that dress. you fell in love with it. With a mischievous smile on your face, you took it to the changing room. But a part of you that was refusing was right. It really was not your style.

You stepped out shyly, looking for Madison.

"Oh... " She said when her eyes fell on you. "You look beautiful." Her tone was that serious one again, as if she did not like it.

"I - I shouldn’t right. I’ll put it back on the rack."

"No," she said firmly. "This is what you are wearing for the rest of the day. I don’t want to hear anything else."

You knew arguing with her was futile so you watched her shop for the next hour or so silently, scrolling on your phone, noticing fans and looking at edits. Soon, it was time to go.

"I am sorry, Sarah, is there anyway to pay for it while keeping it on?" Madison asked the women at the check out, reading her name tag.

"Sure," she said and brought some high-tech wand to remove the magnet and scanned the code.

Madison pulled out the tag while you handed her your card.

"Shall I bill these together, ma’am?" Sarah asked looking at Madison's dresses at the counter.

"Oh, for sure." She answered.

Too stunned to know how to respond to that, you just gave a small smile. She collected your card from her and walked out with you, linking her arm with yours again.

With more than 3 bags already in her hand, Madison took you to four more such stores where she shopped and you waited. You were thankful for your fully charged phone without which you would have died of boredom.

She then took you to a fancy cafe and a makeup store and got done a full face make up for both of you. But you had admit, it went pretty well with the eyes. Smoky black eyes and dark lipstick seemed to complete your look.

"Come on, Mads, I am ready to go back, please."

"Fine fine," she replied and got into the car, throwing her bags of over expensive clothes on the back seat. 

"You are awfully quiet and I am scared of that. What is going on?"

"You’ll see."

You brain was alrerting out SOS alarms but you know it was of no use. Madison's smirk had started intensifying halfway and it had only worried you more.

When she finally pulled into your driveway, you breathed a sigh of relief and rushed towards the door, your friend close behind. The house was dark considering you had left it almost 12 hours ago with random men.

"You have to tellme what is going on before I lose my mind, Mads!" You pleaded, reaching for the switch.

The moment you turned the light on, you heard people yelling from behind.

"Surprise!"

There were over 50 people in your house with each wall decorated with party lights and... pictures of Madison?

Recovering from the shock, your eyes finally fell on Andrew, as handsome as ever waiting for you to notice him.

"No way," you shook your heads and jumped into his arms. He welcomed you by lifting you up and spinning you around. "How am I ever going to equal up to so many surprises?"

He laughed and put you down, placing a gentle kiss on your cheek. Your eyes then scanned the room, recognising almost no one except three people.

"Thank you, Mads... This is amazing!" You brought her into a hug as well. "Who are all these people, though?"

"Oh, these are just my friends."

She cleared her throat loudly, bringing everyone's attention to her and grabbed a champagne glass. "Ladies and gentlemen," she started. "Today, I stand before you to express my deepest appreciation for someone truly remarkable in my life. Your unwavering support and unending loyalty have uplifted my spirits and propelled me towards greatness. Your presence has made me shine brighter, and I cherish how our friendship has shaped me into the remarkable person I am today. Thank you for being my constant reminder of how fabulous I truly am. Cheers to us, my dear friend."

The crowd cheered and clapped. All, except Andrew. You simply gave him a questioning look but he didn't respond.

"Hey, what's with pictures of you?" He asked suddenly, his voice laced with sarcasm. "I thought this was a party in Y/N's honour."

"Yeah, a party which I arranged," she replied in the same tone. "It's a practical joke, come on people! Anyway, let's party!!"

The crowd cheered once again and went back to what they were doing, your presence forgotten by all but one.

"We need to talk," Andrew whispered and dragged you with him to the balcony. "This is not okay!"

"What is not okay, Ands? And can you please not pull me like that. I've been enduring that all day!"

"I am sorry... But that's what I am talking about. Do you not see what she is doing?" His anger made the gentleness in his voice disappear but you knew he was just looking out for you.

"She just hosted a party, what is wrong with that?"

"How can you be that blind, y/n/n? Please wake up. She is -"

"Y/N!" Madison called from behind you. You turned around and saw her approaching you. "Am I interrupting something?" She asked a little too sweetly.

"Actually, we were in the middle of-"

"I wanted to introduce you to everyone. Come." Without another glance at Andrew, she pulled you by your arm and started taking you around the room.

Andrew did not miss how you wanted to run away and were visibly frustrated of being pulled around. He made a mental note to apologise to you again for dragging you to the balcony.

You were barely registering names or faces as she led you through a sea of people you had never even seen before. They were apparently Madison's online friends who now had your address. You shook hands and have smiles to everyone until you could not take any more.

"Okay, everyone out!" She screamed out of nowhere. "Y/N is tired and would like some peace with only her best friend."

"Wait, what?" Before you could stop them, the people had already started leaving, giving you weird looks.

Andrew was in the kitchen helping himself to some snacks when Madison cleared her throat.

"It's okay, Mads. He is my best friend, too. He should stay."

"I don't see why but if that's what you want."

Asking Andrew to shut up, you called him and sat down on the floor next to her with Andrew to your right.

"What now?" You asked.

"Let's watch a movie or something." Andrew suggested.

"Yeah, let's do a Ben Barnes marathon!" Madison suggested. She didn't notice the way your eyes filled with sadness or the way Andrew clenched his jaw. "Which one? Avengers? Maze Runner? Blended? The -"

"Okay, he is not in any of them. Have you seriously watched NONE of his movies?" You asked and she simply shrugged.

The bell rang again and Madison practical jumped up to open the door. "Time for one more surprise."

"This night is turning out to be the night on tour and I don't want it to be like that again. Especially the second surprise." You buried your face into his shoulder.

"Oh, don't worry. I am sure it isn't Ben. Maybe just pizza."

He was wrong. Because it was Ben.

"Where were you, Ben?" You head Madison giggle. "I have been waiting! I am such a huge fan! I love all your movies!"

"Did her voice just change?" Andrew asked.

"Wow, what kind of party takes place on the floor with only three people?" He asked, reaching you.

You looked up and regretted it instantly. He had become even more handsome and you wanted to burst into tears as that night came back to you.

"This one apparently," Andrew answered.

"Oh, shut up," Madison scolded and sat down next to you, Ben opposite to her.

"You look beautiful, Y/N," he complimented sincerely.

"Thank -"

"You came at the right time!" Madison chimed. "We were just about to play Spin the Bottle!"

"We were?" Andrew mouthed and made a gagging face. He would rather die than be any where close to Madison.

Without waiting for anyone's reply, she grabbed an empty champagne bottle and spun it.

Much to his dismay, the two ends pointes to Andrew and Madison.

"No, ew, no way."

You laughed at how unbelievably adorable he was. He made no attempt to hide his hate for her and Ben saw that, too.

Ben, the one person who's gaze you were trying to avoid. But since your best friend had made so many efforts at trying to invite him, you sat quietly.

"Fine, fine," she rolled her eyes and spun it again. It landed on you and Ben. He didn't know how to respond or what to do. His eyes looked at you in confusion... and sadness. Your gaze instantly went to Andrew, silently asking for help.

"No, this game is ridiculous, Madison! We are not teenagers at some silly party!"

"But we are at a party," she huffed and spun it again.

Ben's eyes widened as it landed on him again, but with Madison.

Ben looked too uncomfortable to participate in this. Besides, Mads was your best friend and would not kiss him. Even for some stupid game.

But you were wrong, because that is exactly what she did.

-------------------

Taglist: @padfootagain

[breezy-cheezy]

I just want to say it's been delightful watching you get into One Piece. It's been one of my main fandoms for years, but most of the people I was following who posted about it moved on to other things and I didn't have the energy to try to find new ones, so my dash has been pretty empty of it and I mostly just kept up with the anime/manga and not much else. Your enthusiasm for it, and all the art you've been posting and reblogging, has been a highlight of my days. I have a One Piece fanfic I've been trying to finish for years, and I've felt more like writing it in the past week or so than I have in a very long time (haven't actually managed it yet, but maybe soon, I hope). I'm glad you're having fun, and I can't wait to see you get farther in the series. <3

And *I* just wanna say how touching this message is!! 🥺 Thank you for sending this, I’ve been putting off responding because I was hoarding it like a dragon HAHA

I’m glad you’re enjoying the sudden OP onslaught! Part of me always worries, but it IS my blog and I enjoy slapping a bunch of funny pirates on my metaphorical fridge, glad you’re getting a kick out of it too! Perks of a media about as old as me too is that there’s sooooo much content to dig through, it’s very fun! Even if I suck at avoiding spoilers LOL (I will at least try to shield my buddy from spoilers as she also works her way through the manga at her own pace XD)

I hear ya on struggling to finish a fic for so long…for me, with new fandom comes new ideas and we’ll see if I can actually finish these, lmao. I’m glad to hear you’re inspired again! What’s the fic about, out of curiosity? 👀 If you feel like sharing that is!

Thank you, it’s been a VERY fun read, and I hope to watch some parts in the anime later! For now tho manga is easiest for me to consume, and the art is just really nice?? 1000+ chapters used to be so intimidating but now I find it’s hard to put the thing down X’’’’D One Piece good, found family got me good! I’ll be a bit more detailed under the cut real fast (I’ve been yelling at another friend on discord with regular manga updates but I will say this)

Isa don’t open the read more :> :

I just finished Thriller Bark arc and ooooooh boy that was a Time. Zoro you are insane *sobbing* HOW IS HE EVEN ALIVE

Usopp getting to use his anxiety/depression/negative thoughts as a strength against Perona was. SO funny yet SO vindicating, I love himmmmm-

Also the stuff with Brook is one of the things I feel I need to watch the anime on because!!! Music!!! That’s difficult to translate through manga, as pretty as the art is. Same for Chopper’s send off from Drum Island, I wanna see the pretty pink Sakura Blossoms!!!! But yea Brook made me cry. I remember really hoping Laboon would pop up again and BOY HOWDY let the skeleton see his baby whale again I beg….

I just hit the Sabody arc too and spotted Law for the first time! I already know his backstory (oops I’m nosey) and WOW HE’S A LITTLE SH*T HAHAHA funny greasy lookin man good to see ya X’’’D I also love Camie!! Kinda refreshing to see a female character getting to finally make the same (if not even MORE) whacky faces like the boys do hhdfhgjkdf you’re doing great sweetieeeee 😂 (also good to see Hachi again!!)

Also the intro to Celestial Dragons and slave trade is so. Man. This is VILE. The extent of horrors the Government will look away from because they’re Celestial Dragons doing the horrors. AUGH. Gross. The situation is revealed in a really neat way too, very engaging. Sooooo satisfying watching Luffy full on punch one CD in the face tho, BLESS. Love that funky lil dude. He really doesn’t care who you are, he can and WILL punch you if friends are threatened.

ALSO I do see Ace’s execution being set up in the bg. I know in a general sense what….happens to him. I don’t like it, let him out 😭

BUT YEA I’M HAVING ALOT OF FUN THANK YOU!!!!

[nellie-elizabeth]

Grey's Anatomy: Walk on the Ocean (20x03)

Man, lotsa juicy drama in this one.

Cons:

I thought Winston having a subplot about giving up on his marriage with Maggie was a little weird and unnecessary. I legit hadn't realized we were supposed to think they were still trying to work on their relationship. Maggie left him and Winston seemed pretty firm on what that meant. Or am I misremembering?

The main catastrophe of this episode features a man who gets extravagantly injured trying to imitate the jet-setting adventurous behavior of his wife's ex-husband, in order to prove to himself and to her that he's cool enough. I felt like thematically this was kind of basic and didn't really connect to the characters as much as I wanted, and then the poor wife at the end when she shows up and learns that her husband is dead... she wasn't the strongest actor, unfortunately. The crying needed some work.

Pros:

I kind of love the Teddy and Meredith scenes because Teddy and Meredith aren't like... good close best friend family forever? They're just two people who have known each other and have people in common, and I felt like the actors brought that energy in a way that was refreshing. They're colleagues, and yet there's also that deeper level of camaraderie there. When Catherine shows up, Teddy covers for Meredith and then gets brought into the secret of the research Meredith and Amelia are doing. Looks like Teddy is going to be able to move some discretionary funds their way, so that's exciting stuff!

I'm loving Levi getting some screentime, especially because it also highlighted his friendship with Jo! That really is one of my favorite relationships on the show these days, and we truly don't see enough of it. I gotta say, Nico really behaves like a jerk for not telling his partner that Levi is his ex, but at the same time, I think Jo is right: Levi's hurt feelings aren't about having feelings for Nico, it's about seeing his ex move on and take these big steps in his life. Their conversation at the end was great, it had that difficult bittersweet intimacy of exes who used to know each other really well. Nico is able to tell the story of how they're having a kid, and they can joke around a bit, showing how well they still know each other. Two moments I really loved was Levi knowing how big a deal it would be for Nico to leave the pizza behind, and Nico's soft reaction of delight in learning that Schmitt is Chief Resident. Also... the "Levon" thing made me laugh. We need more Levi subplots please! Find him some love!

And then let's turn to the various intern plots.

I really liked Blue's story again this week, he's still shaping up to be a fave. This new surgeon lady looks like she might be a great mentor for him, and also maybe an enemies-to-lovers situation for Amelia? Jury's out on that, but I would not be mad about it, tbh. But I love that Blue needs to keep getting that lesson reinforced about his demeanor with the patients. He knows his stuff medically, but he also needs to listen. Working in pediatrics really makes the case for how these things all blend together. It was the young patient's mother who noticed something off and decided to take her daughter in, thus saving her life!

And then, Yasuda vs. Lucas... dang, Adams, I was rooting for you! Just last week, I was saying that his anger with Simone was totally justified and I got why he was being such a grump, but this week, he really crossed a line for me. I thought the moment when he failed to say something to Bailey was interesting, that felt like the kind of believable dick move that someone makes in the moment and then it's too late to change it, but for him to dig his heels in later with Yasuda, after being an asshole and leaving her on her own all day? Wow, seriously not the thing. I was totally on Yasuda's side and was annoyed at Simone for daring to accuse Yasuda of not trying to move on. She's the one who has been playing nice and trying to be everyone's friend! Yeesh!!

And then we see that Lucas has moved out of the house. I have a feeling we're going to have to deal with a certain threshold of moping Adams as we work out the issues going on here. I hope Yasuda just lives her best life and crushes it and doesn't let Lucas's nonsense slow her down. Or Simone's either, honestly. (As a side note, loving Simone's hair in this ep, she looked fantastic.)

I think I'll stop there - lots of moving pieces, most of them compelling enough to keep my interest. Loving the opportunity for more Levi, more of the interns, less Owen/Teddy, less Jo/Link... for those reasons, this episode is a win for me!

9/10

[dojae-huh]

https://x.com/sijakz_archive/status/1740693531050836257?s=46&t=rTl1nDzicm9BJ7P539UIhw

Mark grabbing Jae’s pc from Doyoung’s hand and it flying back into Doyoung is one of the funniest and most fated things I’ve ever seen lol.

Before I discovered your blog and even now I think I always felt this way also about DoTae; it’s simple things like Doyoung picking the gift that was Tae’s, them ending up as trip mates to Japan I think? Like you know that feeling when two people are meant to be either way or another in each other’s life,sort of destined/fated?

Anyways,since I found your blog (about one month ago maybe?) and I’ve began reading,I’ve also seen this little patterns in JaeDo and it’s so lovely. At first I was like well maybe there was a crush but I don’t know about dating; but since knowing this blog I’ve began rewatching content,especially DJJ content to be more specific (keep in mind I’m a new nctzen,my first 127 comeback was fact check lol) and watching from this POV is just wow,there’s really things that are inexplicable unless they’re dating,if it makes sense? I don’t know how I didn’t notice before but they only make sense or make you begin to question if you go in with this mindset,even if it seems far-fetched at first.

You start to notice their little reactions to e/o,the looks,EVERYTHING. It kinda hits you like a truck lol.

So yeah,I’ve been meaning to send this message for a while now,thank you for your dedication to our JaeDo! (For what it’s worth I was the anon that asked a while back about the JonhDo fight and assumed Dy was going to be relying on Jn during Ty enlistment)

Link

Fans follow the group for years and still don't see JaeDo or TaeDo as even close friends, and with the shipping culture in fandoms and fanservice in k-pop it's natural to be apprehensive of the claims of dating. That's why I always say don't believe me as a stranger on the internet, read what I write and check where I'm pointing at for yourself. Some take years to start to see, you took just a few weeks. Although DJJ was a breath of fresh air after several years.

Individual moments are confusing, it's when you start to see the patterns, how it really is becomes clear.

First impressions are often wrong because we make them having limited information (and because people wear masks). Like with JohnDo, you came in at the time when they finally patched their friendship and was fed the fandom's overly favourable opinion about them.

Both Jaehyun and Doyoung are into soulmates and meeting by destiny.

Jaehyun wanted to act in a re-make of a movie about soulmates. He was casted, but the project was cancelled. He was supposed to play the reincarnation (high school student) of the protagonist's (male, teacher) true love (female, arts college student). The student retained his past-life memories and fell in love with the teacher despite being same-sex. They eloped.

And Doyoung always says how 127 meeting each other was a destiny.

JaeDo story is worthy of ecranisation. When Jae was a child his family moved to US for work, but cameback to Korea. Jae didn't plan to become an idol, but was street casted. Do was going to send his audition tape to multiple idol agencies when he got a confirmation call from SM. They were chosen among all trainess for ShowChamp. Then they were chosen for Tende, despite Jae initially practicing rapping, and t7s unit. Do was supposed to be a part of another unit (not confirmed, but highly speculated), so he didn't debut with 127 at fisrt. Circumstances changed, he was added to 127. There happened to be no homophobes in 127, so JaeDo could start dating without damaging their group. Both are popular members, got BA deals, acting roles, etc. ahead of others, can match each others' success. SM is not a homophobic company, let them even debut in DJJ together.

These pictures were cherry-picked, of course, but enough of them exist to highlight the pattern of third-wheeling. JaeDo tend to stand closer to each other, Jungwoo often does a different gesture, looks in a different direction (he is on his own, not in the bubble), more often than not Woo doesn't put his hand on Jae.

[carpenoctem72]

Succession first ep thoughts

Succession first episode (S1) spoilers!

Finally started watching Succession! My friend has been waxing poetry about it for weeks now so it was a long time coming.

First of all, I really wish that Sky TV had subtitles because I may have missed some of that dialogue very easily but here are my initial thoughts:

- I LOVE the depiction of Kendall Roy so far! he’s so wonderfully childish and petulant in such a characteristic of politicians or businessmen way, and I think especially his temper tantrum in the bathroom and the way he spoke to his father in the beginning episode was excellent.

- I also liked when Kendall gets annoyed at his colleague for suggesting that he call his ‘dad’ (very colloquial, young term as well) but then when his father calls, he becomes diffident and eager to impress - a sudden and sharp contrast to his previous attitude.

- Logan is so so cruel wow, he was definitely the kind of character to give me a bit of chills whenever he spoke to people, I constantly felt stuck between cringing and running away whenever he interacted with other characters because I felt so bad for them - he definitely has a talent for making people feel small. Even though he is clearly shown to be decreasing in health, his power is still so prominent over his children and his company even.

- Cousin Greg is very funny and also shamelessly trying to be a nepo baby which is so valid

- Tom makes me laugh too, he sort of gives me second hand embarrassment for everything he says but when he was joking with Greg, it was so funny

- Shiv is very hot and I’m excited to see more of her

- Roman seemed to be the witty, humorous one but that scene with the little boy at the baseball scene was horrific and really highlighted how out of touch with reality the entire family is, and how 1 million dollars is nothing to them - none of the characters even tried to let the boy get a homerun!

Anyway, that is pretty much all the thoughts I had about the first episode! I will be back tomorrow because I’m watching ep 2 with my brother again :)

[damindfuljedi]

My Journey of Self - Nov 30, 2022

The Things I am Grateful For...

To wake up and enjoy another day of life

Being able to sleep in as my body needed the rest

To be able to talk with my well-person Jamie and have a conversation

The Highlights of the Day... Today was an interesting day. My kiddos stayed home from school, so I was able to sleep in. From how I was feeling last night my body appreciated the rest.

My boys are somewhat independent so they do need me for much unless they get hungry but even then they know how to fix a little something, even if it is junk food.

When I finally got up for the day I went ahead and made sure the boys were ok and took out the garbage and recycling, as the pickup is tomorrow.

After that was all done, I waited for my wellness session with Jamie. This was a very good talk, as I discussed with her the events of the last couple of weeks.

First, we talked about a dream I had. I was in Florida, where my oldest son Malcolm lives. Not sure why in the dream I was there but I was not alone. My mom, My brother Johnny (Junior), and my sister were there with me. Then on the other side were my ex and her husband. Now in the dream, the husband looked 7 feet tall. It was a strange sight. Well, my brother took a look at this guy and said, "Who is this N-word?!!"

Wow!!!

There was more to this dream but I think I will Rolodex it and discuss for another time.

The day after this dream my son called me and he was very upset. He told me that his family in Orlando put his Grandmother in a nursing home and this was the first time visiting her. I didn't understand much as my emotions were getting the best of me and I wanted to offer comfort to my son.

So I reached out to my wife to speak with my ex to get more details.

This is a good thing since I was diagnosed with ADHD-Inattentive I don't always process all the details in a conversation.

So later that night I spoke with Malcolm, with Maggie (my wife) at my side. He told us what was going on and we offered our sympathies and suggested that at some point get therapy. He was reluctant, but since he is known to have panic attacks and anxiety I hope to convince him of going that path.

Now what was interesting about all this was the dream I had the night before. It may have been foretelling me that at some point I will need to be there for my Malcolm if ever the time his Grandma passes on. But I am happy that when that time comes my family will be there in spirit.

That left me with a very good feeling...

Second, we started to discuss my crush, Tatiana. This girl I met her when I was in my early 20s and fell for her when I first saw her. Recently I had the courage to tell her my feelings for her and she expressed that she too had the same, when I was not in her life.

I consider her the love of my life!!!

At some point during our conversations and me being a flirt, I felt that was this the path I should pursue. So what I did was I reached out to my Dad for advice.

Now my Dad has not been a part of my life since I was 9 months old. He passed away when I was a baby, so I never got to know him.

I am angry with him for what happened. I am grateful to be his son but there will be always times I wished he was physically there.

So I reached out to him before going to sleep and asked for any advice or answers. I was hoping to see him in my dreams...

Well during the "Thanksgiving weekend or what I will refer to as "The Day of Mourning" I was looking over TikTok and found the following:

This guy was talking about how 50-year-old men or older have the best advice. Which makes sense as they have lived experiences and wisdom they can share. This person shared this advice that will stick with me for a long time...

The Love of Labor - Here he explains that this is the person you are with that work through the relationship. The highs and lows of your life together. You put in the "labor" to make it all work.

The Love of Healing - Here he explains that this is the person you are with when you are emotionally hurt or some sort of trauma you are dealing with. This is the person you lean on for that type of support.

The Love of Your Life - This is the person with who you just have "THAT" connection. The person that you met and you know everything is just right and everything just clicks.

He goes on to say if you found The Love of Your Life if you have one of the other two, it would not be worth it, and just keep the relationship you already have.

I thought about this and my Maggie already fits my Love of Labor and Love of Healing. So even though Tatiana will always be the love of my life, I need my Maggie as we have put in a lot of work in our relationship and we both are each other's emotional support.

So with that, I was happy with the answer I received.

Now the interesting part was this was the answer I had reached out to my Dad about and he definitely delivered I appreciate and love him much.

With that my session with Jamie came to a close. Our next session is on Dec 14th and we will be discussing our topics of Radical Acceptance and Radical Accountability which I learned is more Radical Responsibility.

My journey continues...

"There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." – Malcolm X

[argiopi]

on the backs of your mothers

[wrenqueenisboss]

DSMP x f!reader headcanons (seeing you in a ball gown for the first time)

Them reacting to you dramatically walking down the stairs in your beautiful ballgown.  Warnings: none (I don’t think)

Note: you guys aren’t yet dating in this headcanon (except for bench trio. That is strictly platonic)

Dream:

When you walked down the stairs in your extravagant ballgown, the breath left Dream’s lungs, leaving him speechless

He met you at the bottom of the stairs and held his arm out like a gentleman

He didn’t even bother to try to hide the blush on his face, he knew it would be useless he didn’t care if people saw him blushing

“Y/n, my dear,” he said, looking you up and down. He whistled sharply, a smile playing at the edge of his lips. “You look stunning.”

You giggled. “Thank you. You look quite dashing yourself.”

He’d parade you around, showing you off

Compliments you the entire night (each compliment gets more flirty as the night draws on. You’re bright red by the end of the night)

he would not be able to take his eyes off you. You looked so beautiful in your gown, face illuminated by the warm lighting as you danced, a joyful smile on your face

Dream would sweep you off to the the dance floor where you’d waltz the night away, staring into each other’s eyes with unadulterated love

George:

George almost choked on his drink when he saw you enter the ballroom looking like an goddess on earth

blushing like a tomato, he would approach you shyly and ask you for a dance

“Lady Y/n? Would you care to share a dance.”

He smiles like a thousand suns when you say yes without hesitation, gently leading you in a waltz. 

He might stumble a couple times because he was so distracted by your beauty, but you two laugh it off. he may or may not stumble a couple times just so he can hear your laugh again

One time, you caught him staring 

After you two had fulfilled your duties by being at the ball for as long as was required, he’d want to take you outside

Under the stars, you two would just talk. 

Until you got tired. When you fell asleep on his lap, he tensed up for a moment before relaxing and gently stroking your hair.

Sapnap:

Sapnap was chatting with Dream and George (they attended the ball as a couple) when George pointed out that you had arrived

He looked to where you were and legit couldn’t stop himself from smiling ear-to-ear

“She looks... amazing,” he mumbled.

George laughed, which made Dream smile. Dream kissed his fiancé’s head before addressing Sapnap. 

“Go tell her that, idiot.”

So Sapnap walked over to you and straight-up said, “You look beautiful, Y/n”

blushing at the compliment, you asked him to dance (he happily accepted the offer) 

Literally the entire time, he would not stop flirting with you or telling you how beautiful you looked (as he should)

Dream and George were so happy that their ship was sailing, btw

Karl:

Karl was just rambling on and on about how excited he was to dance with you (everyone agreed it was adorable)

He was smiling so freakin’ wide when he saw you. Everyone swears it lit up the whole room

He sorta tripped over his own feet with nervousness on his way to greet you at the bottom of the stairs

“Wow, Y/n.... You look really good!” He mentally slapped himself for giving such a “bad” compliment

You returned his sunny smile before complimenting him back, which made both of you blush

You guys most likely didn’t waltz for very long, instead, Karl would take you outside and put on some of his own music for you guys to jam to in fancy clothes

Quackity:

Quackity was joking around and talking with a group of people when he heard your name whispered next to him

he followed everyone’s gazes to see you, walking down the stairs in the most beautiful dress he’d ever seen. No, you looked beautiful. The dress just highlighted that.

When he got over to you, he bowed dramatically, causing you to giggle.

“Would you care to dance, my lady?” he asked, extending his hand

you gladly took it and got swept to the dance floor

I feel like waltzing with Quackity would be surprisingly fun (idk why)

the entire time, you guys would be causing a little bit of trouble by subtly knocking into other pairs as you waltzed

by the end of the night, your stomachs hurt from laughing so much and trying to stop yourselves from laughing

Wilbur:

Wilbur was talking with the rest of the SBI members when you and your gown caught his movement

He almost dropped his glass on the floor (techno casually caught it before it could shatter)

He didn’t even realize that his feet were walking him over to greet you

like the gentleman that he is, Wilbur led you down the rest of the stairs, guiding you to the ballroom floor

He placed his hands on your waist and you rested yours on his shoulders

“I presume this means we’re dancing?” he says with a cheeky smile

You giggle and nod as he starts the waltz, moving smoothly with the music

all of the SBI are really happy that Wilbur has found someone like you

Philza is smiling, Tommy is (jokingly) calling you guys disgusting, and Techno is just nodding with smug approval as you rest your head on Wilbur’s chest.

Bench Trio (platonic):

You and the bench trio (y’all are called the bench crew) decided to attend the ball together as friends

well, Tubbo platonically asked out Ranboo. Which left Tommy to platonically ask you out (you said yes, ofc)

When they saw you walk down the stairs, they cheered. 

I swear, these kids were so obnoxious. Like, the whole ballroom could hear them cheering and clapping for their friend walking down the stairs

everyone thought it was adorable, tho

Tommy gave you a high five when you reached the bottom

after getting some food and refreshments, you guys joined everyone else on the dance floor

Tommy, to make things more “interesting”, played his disks instead of the waltz music

Dream, who was organizing the function in this headcanon, was NOT happy

You guys were dying of laughter at watching Dream’s facial expressions when the music changed to Tommy’s upbeat songs

it was the best night of your guys’ lives

Technoblade: (might make this into an actual fic if it’s requested)

it was during one of your sexual tension-filled training sessions when Techno asked you if you wanted to go with him

After a moment of shock (which he used to defeat you) you accepted

“You’re lucky I said ‘yes’, Tech. Normally I don’t accept the invitations to dance from people who beat me up everyday.”

“Give yourself some credit, Y/n. You’re really good. But yes, I am lucky.”

You felt so freakin’ powerful as you confidently walked down the huge flight of stairs in your gorgeous gown. 

Techno was speechless. Even the voices were quiet (before they whispered about how stunning you were) he tried to erase the shocked expression from his face before hie reached you

You smiled as he held out his hand to you

“M’lady.” His voice was comforting even as it elicited butterflies in your stomach.

Technoblade’s heart jumped when you held his hand.

you looked so angelic in this light. Even though you had a reputation similar to his, you had such a wonderful personality that drew him in

Because of both of your guys’ agility that was developed and honed through your years of combat, you danced so gracefully

It was as if you were the breeze moving through the room

Everyone turned their heads to look at you two

When the music became more fast paced, you switched to a different style of dance, trading moves and moving as fluidly as rivers 

This was the moment that Techno realized he was in love with you

Before the night ended, he complimented your outfit and told you how beautiful you looked

at one point, it got cold so Tech gave you his dark maroon suit jacket (imagine techno in a dark dark red suit! asdkfhaskdjfh)

He let you walk home with it as long as you returned it to him at training the next day

Needless to say, the SBI family was teasing Techno for the next couple weeks

he didn’t mind, tho

[queenshelby]

THE SECRET - part one of three

Featuring: Cillian Murphy x Virgin!Reader

Summary: You are a new cast member, playing Tommy Shelby’s love interest. During filming, you fall for your co-star Cillian Murphy.

Words: 6,556

Warning: Smut, Age Gap

Notes: For the purpose of this fic, Cillian is single.

Tag List: @lilymurphy03 @deefigs

@chrisevanshoeeee @desperate-and-broken

@weepingstudentfishhorse  @fookingshelby  @livinginfantaxy

@atomicsoulcollecto  @datewithgianni @mariapaiva13

The Scene

You were nervous. This was your first role in a popular TV show.

You had been on small production TV shows in your home country of France. But this was different. The show had international success and you couldn’t believe that the producers of the show had chosen you for the role of 27-year-old Yvette L’mare for the series’ final Season.

You spoke fluent French and English and had experience in scenes with extensive dialogue due to your theatrical experience since you were 12.

But, you were by no means as experienced as some of the other candidates they had casted. After all, you were only 19.

You read the scripts over and over again after your successful audition and made yourself small rehearsal cards for each scene. The dialogue heavy scenes didn’t concern you. But, there were some scenes which were out of your comfort zone.

Your script included two intimate scenes with the actor who played the main character of the show, Thomas Shelby.

The first scene was simple enough, not much more than a kiss. The second scene, however, was to be filmed under closed set. Neither of you were going to be clothed in more than underpants, which meant that only the director, one assistant and the camara man would be present.

Before the audition, you watched the last two seasons of Peaky Blinders and you re-watched them just a week ago as part of your preparation and to give you an idea what the director will look for when filming these kinds of scenes.

Before that, you hadn’t paid much attention to the show.

From watching some of the series, it was obvious to you that your co-star was experienced. He portrayed Thomas Shelby impressively well which was something that made you even more nervous.

Will you live up to the standards of the director? Or will you fail miserably with these challenging scenes?

It didn’t matter. It was all too late now. You signed the Contract and were on your way to England.

You arrived a day before filming started in order to settle into your apartment.

The apartment was located within a hotel residence that was booked out for the cast for the entire period of production.

You shared a small two-bedroom apartment with another new cast member named Emma. Emma was from France as well and, ironically, portrayed your sister in the show. Emma was 24, slightly older than you and quite attractive. You immediately got along. She was focused, didn’t care much about partying and was down to earth.

For the first evening, after everyone arrived, the producers organised a dinner to introduce the new cast and crew members to everyone. This was when you first got to meet your co-star, Cillian.

Since you had several scenes together, the director of the show took the time to personally introduce you to Cillian.

Cillian greeted you with a big smile and you knew immediately why so many women were smitten by him. You recalled that, when you told friends and family about your audition, they wouldn’t stop talking about Thomas Shelby and how insanely attractive he was.

They were not wrong. But, what impressed you the most about Cillian was that he was so easy going and funny.

You talked to him for a while, about the most random topics, ignoring everyone else for at least 20 minutes until it was time for you to meet the other cast members.

‘Looks like you two have a lot to talk about?’ Anthony said jokingly.

‘Talking about wine’ you smiled, rather shyly.

‘Yeah, I got carried away talking about the wine production in the province. Did you know that Y/N’s parents own Bessiux Wines?’ Cillian asked, catching Anthony by surprise. ‘His sister got married at your parents’ estate last August’ Cillian added, causing Anthony to nod.

You talked about your parents’ winery for a little longer before Anthony asked you to meet the other cast members.

‘I am looking forward to working with you Cillian’ you said as you walked away and he responded with a smile and comforting ‘Likewise’.

After your encounter with Cillian you were introduced to Finn Cole and Natasha O’Keefe. You heard about Finn from your new roommate but only just then realised that he portrays Michael Grey.

You talked to both Finn and Natasha for a while and, whilst you enjoyed their company, you wished that you had some more time to talk to Cillian. Unfortunately for you, he left rather early that evening.

The next day, you picked up your schedule for the week and noticed that the scenes you prepared for were to be shot completely out of order.

In fact, your most intimate scene was scheduled for 10am on Day 2 of Production. You couldn’t believe it. You were by no means prepared for that.

Your first day on set went well and the director of the show complimented your work on several occasions. But, when filming was finished for the day, your nervousness sat in.

‘Are you alright Y/N?’ Emma asked as you were picking on your salad and looked at tomorrow’s scripts.

‘Yeah, just a bit nervous’ you sighed.

Emma looked over your shoulder to read your script.

‘Wow, they are throwing you right into the deep end’ she giggled.

‘Yes, they are’ you said with a shy smile before listening to some advice from Emma, who had more experience than you acting on screen.

That night, after reading your scripts at least ten more times and letting it play out in your head, you could not sleep and your lack of sleep was evident on set the next day.

‘Are you alright Y/N?’ Cillian asked concerned, noticing your yawning and your hands shivering slightly.

‘Yes, I am fine. I am just trying to think how to act the next scene. From reading this, it isn’t very clear to me what exactly I need to do’ you said concerned.

‘These scenes are scripted in a way to allow for improvisation. From experience, actors often fail to act these kinds of scenes directly to script, that’s why’ Cillian laughed.

‘Right, so the script is lacking the details on purpose?’ you asked.

‘Correct’ Cillian said. ‘John and Anthony will tell us what to do and in which direction to face so that you are covered. You don’t need to worry’ Cillian said reassuringly, causing you to giggle.

‘I am not worried about anyone seeing my breasts or something. I just don’t know what do, where to put my hands, my face, any of that’ you explained with total embarrassment.

‘Well, I suppose you just pretend to do what you would normally do when you are getting down to business’ Cillian said with a chuckle, not knowing how else to explain it.

‘Well, my experience in this department is limited. So, I apologise in advance for any awkwardness’ you said, your cheeks flushing even through the dense make up.

‘Y/N, these scenes are awkward even for the most experienced actors. If it gets too uncomfortable, we can postpone it, alright’ Cillian said, keeping a relaxed approach.

‘Alright. Thanks Cillian’ you said just before it was time for you to get changed into your gown.

The next time you would see Cillian was on the closed set, pretending to make love to him on the large cedar bed.

Just as you were getting undressed in the change room and put on the skin-coloured panties and robe you were given by the set assistant, you topped up your perfume.

You were going to be so close to each other, at least you wanted to smell nice.

After you were done, the set assistant applied some more lipstick and fixed up your hair before you sat down on the large bed. You were nervous, your heart pounding.

Cillian was much more relaxed sitting next to you in black Clavin Klein briefs. There was no need for a robe, his intimate parts were well covered, unlike yours.

His freckled skin was highlighted by the light which had not yet been adjusted and you couldn’t help but look at him while you made an effort to keep your small breasts covered from him at this point.

The cameraman was angling the camera while the director discussed the scene with you and Cillian.

You knew that this was going to be a disaster. The issue wasn’t so much that you were naked in front of the camera and the director, but more the fac that, as part of the scene, another man who you felt somewhat attracted to was about to see you like this, completely vulnerable. He was about to touch your naked skin and kiss you, but not out of his own accord. It felt absurd to you, yet you knew this was part of the job.

Finally, after the director gave his instructions, you got yourself into position.

With some embarrassment you handed the set assistant your robe and lied down on the bed.

You were waiting for some kind of joke from Cillian to lighten up the mood, but Cillian was very professional.

He sat down right next to you and you could tell that he was trying very hard to look away from your breasts.

Before he climbed over you to get into position, he gave you a warning. Regardless of the warning, you stopped breathing for a minute as he positioned himself on top of you.

‘Are you alright?’ he asked as he could see the nervousness on your face.

‘Yes’ you nodded, taking in a deep breath. He was so close that you could smell his skin and the scent of his aftershave.

‘Sink down a bit on the left forearm Cillian, we want to keep the rating below R18’ the director said with a laugh because your breasts were fully visible on camera.

‘We do?’ Cillian chuckled, causing you to laugh just before Cillian adjusted his position as instructed. For a short moment, his chest brushed against your left breast.

‘I am sorry’ he said politely.

‘It’s alright Cilly’ you said.

‘I think we are good now guys, I will count to three and we start the first part of the scene’ the director said.

It felt like an eternity with Cillian on top of you by the time the director called action.

In this scene, Tommy and Yvette were having sex. It was to start with a kiss followed by the obvious act.

There was no practice for a scene like this and, as soon as you heard the word action, Cillian’s lips slowly met yours. You closed your eyes and caressed his face with your hands as you let him take the lead. The kiss lasted for what felt like an eternity until he pulled away from you.

His body was soon grinding against yours, but without your most intimate parts touching. He made sure of that. Regardless of this, you could feel his legs in between yours and his chest brushing against your breasts. The sensation sent shivers down your body and small little goosebumps began to cover your chest. How embarrassing you thought and, unfortunately for you, your embarrassment was evident on your face and the cut was called.

You attempted the scene again several times. You kissed over and over again and your hands moved from his face to his arms and chest, exploring his skin while his body was grinding against you.

But, this wasn’t enough for the director who picked up that the movement of your hands and the expressions on your face weren’t giving the viewers the impression that this was real. Your biggest problem was that you were attracted to Cillian and you realised this more than ever during this scene and tried very hard to hide it, making you look nervous and embarrassed.

After a few more takes, the director suggested a break.

‘I am so sorry Cillian’ you said as you sat next to him in your dressing gown.

‘Don’t be. You are doing fine. These scenes can be tricky and really shouldn’t be scheduled for the second day of filming’ he said with a warm smile before excusing himself.

He was gone for about ten minutes while you had some water and waited for further instructions from the team.

When he returned, he informed you that he agreed with the director that the scene be postponed.

‘Cillian, I can do this, really’ you said upset about the postponement.

‘I know you can, but like I said, it’s the second day of filming and it would probably be easier once we had a few more scenes together’ Cillian suggested.

‘Is that not going to be a problem with the set up?’ you asked.

‘No, the prop can stay here for another month and one of the perks of being a producer is that I get a say in this stuff’ Cillian smiled.

‘I feel like such a failure’ you said embarrassed.

‘You are not Y/N, you are doing great, really’ Cillian said, his hands touching your arms.

‘Common, time to get ready for more scenes’ he said with a warm smile and you followed him to get changed, separately of course.

Mr Matchmaker

Later that night, some of the cast members were heading to the pub for dinner and you sat down next to Natasha and Emma when you arrived.

You told Natasha and Emma about what happened on set. You were still upset about it.

‘Oh gosh, don’t worry Y/N. Cillian is very easy going and Anthony is very impressed with your scenes from the first day so you have nothing to worry about. I remember my first sex scene with Cillian and it took nine takes and a lot of laughter to get it right’ Natasha said.

‘How do you know when it’s right though? It’s extremely awkward’ you said.

‘If it looks like you are having sex then it’s right’ Natasha laughed. ‘I actually think about the man in my life and just switch off throughout the scene. So, if you have a boyfriend, think about him. That might help with the comfort level’ Natasha said.

‘I am happily single’ you said with a smile just as Cillian arrived at the table.

‘You are late’ Natasha said, noticing the frustration on his face.

‘Sorry’ Cillian said as he sat down next to you.

‘Still dramas with Nadine?’ Natasha asked, causing you to wonder who Nadine was.

‘Yes’ he responded just before he ordered himself a drink.

Throughout the conversation you learned that Nadine was Cillian’s ex-girlfriend with whom he broke up as little as six weeks ago. Him and Nadine were together for three years and shared a house in Dublin until recently.

Your group was soon joined by some more cast members, including Finn Cole and everyone seemed in a pretty good mood.

You talked to Finn for a while until you excused yourself to get another drink.  

As you walked to the bar, you noticed Cillian following you and engaged in a conversation with him.

‘Just in case you haven’t noticed, Finn seems to like you’ Cillian said as he stood next to you at the bar.

‘Oh, what makes you say that?’ you asked.

‘I just know. My matchmaking abilities are impeccable’ he joked.

Whilst you felt flattered, you weren’t interested in Finn and little did Cillian know that he was the one you had your eye on.

‘Really?’ you asked.

‘Yes, really. You should probably consider him. He is a nice guy, down to earth, good looking, the right age’ Cillian said cheekily.

‘I have my eyes on someone else Cillian, but thank you for your efforts’ you said with slight embarrassment and a hint of humour.

‘Now I am intrigued. Who is it? Someone on set?’ Cillian asked.

‘None of your business Mr Matchmaker’ you laughed.

‘Well, if you ever require my services, you know where to find me’ Cillian said, causing you to raise your eyebrows.

‘Services as in setting you up with someone from the crew, discreetly of course’ Cillian laughed, realising that his comment may have been received by you in the wrong way.

‘Right, you got me excited there for a moment’ you said jokingly.

‘Did I?’ Cillian joked. ‘Now that makes me feel good at my age’ Cillian added.

You knew how old he was. You googled him, just before you came to the pub, because you were curious about him, his background, things he doesn’t talk about. But, to your surprise, the fact that he was nearing 45, didn’t bother you the slightest and it certainly didn’t dampen the attraction you felt towards him.

You also knew that, being 19 years old, you would have no chance with him. He wasn’t the type of actor who was chasing young models like many other celebrities his age.

You and Cillian talked and joked for another 20 minutes before he excused himself. He had a busy day filming ahead of him and needed to get some rest.

Over the next few days, Cillian and you had several scenes together and spent some of your breaks together. You enjoyed his company and he clearly also enjoyed yours.

On Day 9 of Production, you even went as far and asked Cillian whether he wanted to watch the Liverpool game with you and Emma.

He accepted your invitation and you were quite excited. Emma was confused as to why you invited him over but didn’t think much about it until there was a knock on the door and she opened it.

To both of your surprise, Cillian had invited Finn along. Was he really so oblivious to the fact that you were attracted to him that he had to bring a sidekick, you thought?

The evening went rather slow and with you sitting in between Finn and Emma, you felt somewhat uncomfortable.

The next day, on Day 10 of Production, you had another somewhat intimate scene with Cillian. It wasn’t more than a kiss and some touching. Regardless, you were nervous but not nervous enough to first ask him why he invited Finn.

‘He invited himself when I told him about it’ Cillian chuckled. ‘I told you, he likes you’ he added.

‘That’s just great because now Emma thinks that I have a thing for him’ you said laughing.

‘These Rumours. You got to love them. Sometimes I seriously feel like I am back at school working here’ Cillian laughed.

This conversation led to an interesting question from Cillian. After you had time to talk about your days at school, he brought up your upcoming birthday. You seemed to have referred to school as a recent event, so he couldn’t help but ask how old you were turning.

‘I am turning 20’ you responded, causing Cillian to look at you almost like he had seen a ghost.

‘You are 19?’ he asked.

‘You seem surprised. How old did you think I was?’ you asked.

‘Not sure, mid or late twenties maybe?’ Cillian said just as the set assistant called you both to the scene.

Your nervousness set back in as you took your position in Thomas Shelby’s office.

The scene started of with a dialogue between Thomas Shelby and Yvette which went smoothly, as expected. The next part of the scene involved Thomas lifting Yvette onto his desk and kiss her passionately while running his hands over the back of her body.

The first attempt resulted in Cillian and you both laughing as he lifted you up. It was awkward and it didn’t help that you were ticklish.

The next take went smoothly. Cillian lifted you on to the desk gently before his hands ran down your back while he kissed you. Your hands caressed his face as he did and the director had to call the cut on the kiss.

You enjoyed it, and to his surprise, so did Cillian. He felt uncomfortable about enjoying kissing you or even spending time with you outside of work. Not only were you a co-worker but you were also much younger than him.

A sense of guilt ran through his mind right after the scene now that he knew your age. Kissing you shouldn’t feel good, it was wrong.

The director was happy with the scene and you hopped back off the table before asking Cillian whether he wanted to have lunch with you.

Little did you know that your lunch date was going to be your last with him for while as Cillian was trying hard to keep his distance from you thereafter.

Birthday Surprise

But this all changed another week later, on your birthday, which was Day 17 of Production.

By that point, filming was getting to you and you were tired and, therefore, declined the offer from Natasha to organise a birthday party for you.

Instead, you and some of the crew and cast went for dinner at a nearby restaurant.

The food was amazing and you spent two hours at the restaurant after a rather long day of filming. By about 8.30pm half of the crew and cast had left and it was only you, Cillian, Emma, Sam and Finn who stayed.

Finn was going to meet some friends at a nearby pub at 9pm and invited you all to join him. Whilst Emma and Sam agreed, you and Cillian weren’t keen and made your way back to the apartment complex.

‘Would you like a glass of wine?’ you blurted out all of a sudden just as you were both getting into the elevator. This question took all of your courage after Cillian had been avoiding to spend time with you.

‘I think the hotel bar is closed already’ Cillian said.

‘Well, as it happens, I am holding a bottle of red wine in my hand’ you said cheekily holding up the birthday present from Natasha.

‘I am not sure Y/N, we have to be up early’ Cillian said.

‘Common, it’s my birthday’ you said convincingly, causing Cillian to laugh.

‘Alright, I suppose why not’ Cillian said as followed you down the hallway.

‘Your place. Emma is determined to pick up a date at the pub’ you laughed.

‘Yeah, I don’t want to be there for that’ Cillian joked as you walked further down the hallway. Your apartments were on the same floor.

You walked into Cillian’s apartment and took off your jacket before sitting down on the small lounge.

Just after Cillian poured two glasses of red wine and sat down next to you, his phone rang.

The display showed ‘Incoming Call from Nadine’ and he turned his phone to silent.

‘You should let me pick it up, it might solve all your problems’ you joked.

‘It just might’ Cillian laughed as he pressed the ‘Ignore’ button and put the phone down.

Just after the short interruption, Cillian and you began to talk about your work, travelling and some other things until he brought up an uncomfortable topic.

‘Do you remember two weeks ago when I tried to talk you into going out with Finn?’ Cillian asked.

‘Yes, Mr Matchmaker, I remember. Why?’ you said.

‘You said that you had your eyes on someone else…who is it?’ Cillian asked with a laugh, causing you to take a deep breath.

‘Oh god, are you still going on with this?’ you said with a laugh. This was the fourth time Cillian had asked you this question since you mentioned it to him.

‘Common, I have been pondering about this for weeks now. Tell me’ Cillian said.

‘No’ you giggled.

‘I promise I won’t tell anyone’ Cillian said.

‘Stop it’ you responded.

‘Alright, I will take a guess’ Cillian said before taking a pause. ‘Harry?’ Cillian asked, causing you to shake your head.

‘Daryl?’ he asked, causing you to shake your head again.

‘I don’t know then. That’s literally everyone who is around your age’ Cillian laughed.

‘Who said he’s around my age?’ you asked, causing Cillian to raise his eyebrow.

‘Paul?’ he then asked, causing you to shake your head again. Was he really that oblivious?

‘Everyone else is married, I think’ Cillian said.

‘You are not’ you said shyly after taking in a deep breath.

‘Me?’ he asked after taking a deep breath while his blue eyes looked at you, full of questions.

Your heart was pounding, your hand shaking again. There was no turning back now.

‘Yes, you’ you said nervously, looking at him almost fearful about his response.

He drew another deep breath while, in his mind, he was thinking about what to say.

‘Y/N, I feel humbled and it’s not that you aren’t a beautiful and smart woman, but I am more than twice your age’ he said.

‘Ignore the age difference for a minute and tell me that you don’t feel the same, that you don’t want me’ you said.

‘It is irrelevant what I feel and what I want, it still doesn’t make it right’ he responded.

‘But, are you attracted to me? It’s a simple question’ you asked nervously and, after drawing another deep breath, Cillian responded.

‘I’ve been trying very hard not to be...unsuccessfully so’ he sighed, causing you to smile.

‘Alright’ you said with the biggest grin on your face.

‘Alright?’ Cillian asked surprised by your response. This didn’t mean that he was going to give into you just like this and ignore his concerns, or did it?

‘So, what do you propose we do now? This will make things very awkward on set’ he said concerned.  

‘This’ you said as you leaned in and pressed your lips onto his. His lips were just as soft as the last time you kissed on set, but this time there was an intensity and urgency between you.

He gave into the kiss as if there had never been any doubt and, unlike previous kisses you shared in a professional capacity, this time, when his lips parted, you could feel his tongue slip in between your lips and it wasn’t long until your tongues moved in sync with each other.

The kiss lasted for what felt like an eternity and you wanted so much more than taste his lips.

‘This is wrong Y/N’ Cillian said as your lips finally drifted apart.

‘Do you want me to leave?’ you asked, caressing his face, staring at all of the freckles which covered him.

‘No’ he said, earning him a smile from you just as he reached beneath your shirt and pressed his lips back onto yours.

His warm hands ran over the sides of your abdomen, up and down, until he lifted your t-shirt over your head.

It wasn’t that he hadn’t seen you like this before, but it felt different. His eyes didn’t have to shy away from your breasts and the rest of your body this time.

With his hands cupping your breasts, which were still covered by your black lace bra, the kiss intensified. It became more urgent and more passionate.

Your hands soon found their way beneath Cillian’s t-shirt also and, this time, touching his skin didn’t feel awkward or inappropriate.

Within seconds, his t-shirt landed on the floor next to yours just before Cillian’s fingers had found the clip of your bra.

It didn’t take his skilled fingers long to unclip it and let it join the rest of the clothes which you had already gotten rid of.

He took a moment to look at your breasts, right there in front of him yet again.

‘What’s wrong?’ you asked concerned as you noticed him stare at them.

‘Nothing, just taking in the beautiful view without feeling guilty about it’ Cillian smirked.

‘You checked out my breasts when we were filming, didn’t you?’ you said sheepishly.

‘Of course not’ he said with a laugh before he guided you backwards and down onto your bed.

You both were quick to remove your jeans and, moments later, there you were again, on the bed together wearing nothing but underpants. Just this time, there were no cameras. You were free to touch and kiss each other the way you pleased. It didn’t feel awkward. To the contrary. It felt right.

Hoovering over you again Cillian began to gently kiss your neck while one of his hands ran over your firm breasts. Finally, he was able to touch them, feel every inch of them.

Cillian soon worked his way to the lobe of your ear, playing with it using his tongue. Lightly sucking on it as his hand moved to your other breast, squeezing your nipple gently.

You didn't want this to end, and with a soft moan, you signaled Cillian to continue exploring your body. And so he did. You had never been with a man before, but in the moment, this felt comfortable, felt right.

As he continued to cast his spell on you and work his magic, your body responded. Your lace panties were soaking and your muscles began to vibrate with an unfamiliar feeling.

As Cillian’s lips moved back to your mouth for another passionate kiss, one of his hands wandered further down your body. But he was in no hurry, taking his time explore all of your body.

Cillian’s tongue began to gently drift between your lips and you responded with yours. Your arms wrapped around him, pulling him even closer to you as his hand reached the top of your lace panties.

Pushing your panties aside slightly, he ran his fingers over your wet entrance, slowly and gently while his lips never left yours.

You moaned into the kiss just as the tip of one of his fingers dipped into you slightly.

You took in a deep breath and broke the kiss for a brief moment.

‘Cillian, I never had sex with anyone’ you said, causing him to remove his hand from your wet mound.

‘It’s alright. We won’t go that far until you are ready’ he said reassuringly.

‘That’s so embarrassing, I am sorry’ you said.

‘What is?’ Cillian asked, slightly confused.

‘I am 20, it’s weird don’t you think?’ you said shyly, your face flushed.

‘Don’t be silly Y/N. There is no rush’ Cillian said as he ran his hand over your cheek. ‘If it is any consolation to you, I didn’t expect any of this, tonight, with you and I am enjoying every moment of it even if we don’t have sex’ he added.

‘So am I Cillian’ you smiled.

‘Good’ Cillian said before kissing you again gently.

The kiss soon became heated again but Cillian wasn’t taking it further, giving you the chance to set the pace at which you were willing to move.

But, you enjoyed him playing with you, teasing your most intimate parts and, after several more minutes of passionate kisses, you guided his hand back in between your legs.

Your actions earned you a chuckle from him as his lips moved from your lips down to your breasts slowly.

As Cillian was gently trailing kisses over your breasts, your hand made it’s way in between your bodies where it found the elastic of his Calvin Klein briefs.

Cillian moaned briefly against your breasts as you slipped your hand beneath the elastic, gently taking hold of his erection.

His cock was warm and firm and his tip slightly lubricated from the precum that had pooled there.

You moved your hand up and down his shaft, stroking him gently while his fingers began to circle over your clit, making you moan loudly.

Your panties were getting wetter and wetter with each stroke of his fingers and you were grinding against his hand, wanting more.

You were panting and moaning in pleasure as he kept stimulating you with his fingers, until, all of a sudden, me removed his hand making you squirm in protest.

His mouth soon wandered from your breasts down to your stomach, forcing you to let go of his hard cock.

But, as your body responded beneath his, your mind couldn't catch up to the events unfolding between the two of you.

You surrendered and let him take control and it wasn’t long until his lips had reached the top of your panties.

‘Oh god’ you moaned in anticipation just as Cillian took hold of both sides of your panties before slipping them down.

‘Do you want me to stop?’ he asked, unsure about your reaction.

‘No, please don’t’ you said, your hands falling onto the top of your head.

Admiring the view, Cillian let his fingers run up and down your slit slowly and gently, taking the juices leaking from it and spreading them up to the hood over your clit.

You moaned loudly at the sensation as, suddenly, you could feel Cillian’s tongue join his fingers, playfully darting closer to your opening, but not quite getting there.

‘Cillian, fuck’ you moaned as energy was coursing through your body, wanting to release, but not quite getting there. He apparently had received a masters degree in how to play your body.

Suddenly his tongue was there, licking up the sides of each of your lips. Inspecting the crevices.

Your head began to thrash, your hands flew out and grabbed the bedding.

‘Let me know if I hurt you’ was the next thing you heard but didn’t pay much attention to as you felt one of his fingers enter you.

With the mildest of discomfort, you arched your back while moan after moan left your mouth.

For several minutes, his finger went in and out of you gently while his tongue was licking you, circling over your clit.

He wasn’t sure whether or not to add another finger, but he decided to try his luck after reminding you to tell him if he hurts you in any way.

Moments later, he inserted a second finger while continuing to circle your clit with his tongue.

‘Oh fuck’ you moaned. There was a slight discomfort but it didn’t last very long before you felt nothing but pure pleasure.

Cillian’s fingers began rubbing inside of you as he placed his mouth around the hood of your clit and began to suck.

‘Holy Shit Cillian’ you moaned. You could feel him smile against your mound.

You began to squirm but he would not let up and your body began its final ascent.

Waves of electricity were crashing through you and your hips were grinding and bucking under his direct tutelage as your orgasm washed over you.

You were a shaking mess by the time he was done and, when you finally came down from your high, Cillian moved up and gave you a passionate kiss.

You could taste your juices on his lips and it was possibly the most erotic moment you had ever experienced.

‘Your turn’ you smirked before pushing Cillian onto his back against the stash of pillows.

You comment caused Cillian to chuckle just before you leaned over him to kiss him.

‘You know you don’t have to Y/N. There is no rush’ he said, running his hand over your cheek as your lips drifted apart.

‘But I want to’ you said with determination. ‘I might just need a little guidance’ you said shyly before descending down on his body, trailing gentle kisses over his chest and all the way down to his stomach.

You adored his body, it was perfect. He was the most attractive man you ever met.

As you were gently kissing his stomach, your hands moved beneath the rim of his briefs before pulling them down.

His erection sprung up almost instantly as soon as the briefs cam down and you couldn’t help but stare at him for a moment.

‘I think I will just go for it and you tell me if I do something wrong’ you said with a smile as you pinned back your hair into a bun with the hairband that was wrapped around your wrist.

Your comment made Cillian laugh for a moment until he could feel your warm lips on the tip of his cock, at which point the word ‘fuck’ was all that left his mouth.

Moans soon began to escape him as you used your hands to stroke him, up and down, while the head of his cock lolled uneasily on the top of your tongue.

You took him deeper into your mouth with every stroke and, as the third inch made its way into your mouth, your lips were being stretched.

You soon managed to take him in all the way, although it was a struggle.

‘Fuck, Y/N’ Cillian moaned as his length disappeared in your mouth.

His comment made you stop and ask whether something was wrong.

‘No, you are doing it perfectly’ Cillian reassured you just before you returned your attention to his very hard cock.

By this time precum had pooled on the tip as you took him back into your mouth. It tasted sweet but yet salty at the same time.

Your tongue began circling around him and then up and down his shaft before returning to the bopping motions.

Cillian leaned back and relaxed as you improved your technique minute by minute.

Each stroke of your tongue was now driving him crazy.

Looking up at him occasionally, you could see that he was enjoying whatever you were doing.

Your tongue was moving like a snake, coating every inch of his velvety soft, yet hard cock with a fine patina of sweet, warm saliva.

It wasn’t long until you could feel Cillian’s cock throb inside your mouth and his breathing was becoming laboured.

His hand was tangled up inside your hair as you continued to bop your head up and down firmly.

‘Y/N, I am close, you might want to stop’ Cillian said, trying hard to hold back.

‘Come in my mouth’ you said confidently before you continued your movements.

Your comment caught Cillian by surprise but he didn’t dare to argue and let go.

Just as your mouth bopped down on his hard shaft again, you could feel him pulsate inside your mouth and, with one loud groan, his warm cum spurted on the back of your tongue.

You continued to bop your head and collect all of his cum until he began to relax.

‘Did you just?’ Cillian asked, and before he could finish his question, you interrupted.

‘Swallow? Yes, what else do you normally do with it?’ you asked with a smirk.

‘I hate sleeping on dirty sheets and I was planning to stay the night, so that seemed like the best option’ you laughed before laid beside Cillian, his arms gently wrapping around you.

‘Hey, I am not complaining’ he laughed as he ran his hands gently over your arms.

‘Didn’t think so’ you said before kissing him again gently.

You fell asleep pretty soon afterwards, curled up against Cillian’s chest.

You both slept well and deep until, at 6am, Cillian’s alarm went off.

‘Oh goddam, what’s the time?’ you asked.

‘6am, why?’ Cillian said as you jumped out of the bed and collected your clothes, trying to put them on as quickly as you can.

‘Y/N, we don’t have a scene until 7am. There is plenty of time’ he said.

‘Yes, but Emma starts at 6.30am. She will notice me not being there’ you explained.

[bookishofalder]

Night Changes [Four]

Summary: Desire and darkness consume Poe and the reader, leaving them with only one goal. In the aftermath, years of pain and grief finally surface. 

Warnings: 18+ Sex Pollen=dubcon/noncon smut. Dark themes, mild violence/injury descriptions, language, angst, fluff. WC: 10,551

A/N: SURPRISE! One day early because I love you all and got my shit together this week. PLEASE NOTE the red banners are visual cuts you can use to skip the dark smut should you prefer to! 

Poe stood next to Charlie on the tarmac, waiting impatiently with his stomach in knots of excitement and anticipation. Even Charlie was shifting from foot to foot, uncharacteristically quiet while watching the transport ship slowly landing. When it hit the ground and the flight intake crew moved forward to help with debarking, he tossed Poe his signature grin.

“Ready, Flyboy?”

Poe laughed, “What does that even mean?” He glanced down at his shirt, straightening it for the tenth time before smoothing his hair carefully. “It’s been two years, I’d have gone to pick her up myself if they would have let me.”

“That’s my point,” His friend replied smoothly, raising a brow at Poe, who gazed back at his best friend, bewildered. “Two years apart, barely been able to speak with her, you keep her picture in your inner pocket here,” He tapped Poe over the heart, where the picture would be if he was in his flight suit, “You two are the most clueless lovebirds, I swear. Don’t hold back on my account.”

Glancing at the ship to see the ramp still hadn't lowered, Poe frowned, a rush of emotions swirling within. “You...uh, knew how I-?”

Charlie clapped Poe on the shoulder, “Isn’t there a term for it? Soulmates, I think. Yeah.”

“Charlie, I don’t think-“

Charlie rolled his eyes, “I’m not saying anything else about it, don’t worry. Just wanted you to know I understand why you took so long picking the perfect shade of sand shirt to wear under your jacket.”

Poe hummed in response, stunned by the casual way his friend spoke like everything was inevitable. He wasn’t so sure, though he’d always thought the term ‘soulmate’ could apply to platonic relationships. And while he was pretty sure he’d never just felt platonic toward you in any sense, Poe wasn’t going to get his hopes up that you actually may return his feelings.

Two years ago, Poe had held you the entire night before his and Charlie’s departure for D’Qar, cried along with you over how impossible it felt to part, to not see each other every day when his life had been wrapped around yours since as long as he could remember. He had left a part of himself there with you on Yavin-4, and now you were about to disembark your transport ship and unknowingly hand it back to him by simply being with him, real and tangible.

He was nervous to see you, he didn’t know why. Maybe Charlie’s words were only highlighting Poe’s own concerns now that you were mere moments away. He had barely even been able to get in contact with you for two years, he and Charlie were far enough away and regularly over-worked that it was impossible to do as much as they both would have liked. What if you climbed off of this ship as a completely different person? Perhaps things wouldn’t be as easy and natural between you both now, after so long apart. 

He’d gotten through these past two years without you knowing he would always have his memories of you, that before he knew it you would be with him-and Charlie-again, and new memories could be made. Maybe you didn’t feel the same. Regardless, the last thing Poe was going to do when he finally had you back was confessing his feelings and risk fucking everything up straight off the cuff. He’d lived with these feelings for a long time, he could continue to do so now.

Lost in his thoughts, Charlie suddenly stood taller next to Poe, who glanced at his friend to find he was beaming toward the transport ship. Following his gaze, he first saw that the ramp was down and many of the passengers were now splitting away meeting friends and family. It only took him a moment from then to locate you.

The moment his eyes landed on you, excitedly bouncing down the ramp with a duffel bag over your shoulder, eyes searching wildly around, Poe felt every single worry melt, and a heavyweight on his shoulders seemed to lift away. You still looked like you, and stars were you ever beautiful, the loveliest woman-because, you were a woman now, not a kid, not a goofy teenager-he’d ever laid eyes on. He drank you in, during those moments you hadn’t yet spotted Charlie’s waving arm. Two years had given your curves a new classification, a reverence within Poe rising as he gazed briefly in surprise at the swell of your breasts, the fullness in your hips.

He could...drop to the ground right here and declare his undying love for you, just for coming back to him with that same fucking perfect smile. Just for the way your eyes finally found him and Charlie and you lit up like a sun, bathing everyone lucky enough to be within your presence in your warm glow. It was a fucking sight, a moment that he would never forget; you grinning and then hurrying forward through the crowd. Your duffel bag hit the ground just seconds before you were throwing yourself toward your brother and Poe, who each expected exactly what you would do and easily stepped forward and caught you. Crushing you between them in an embrace that felt so whole, so entirely right. Poe felt for the first time in two years as though he were home.

Wherever in the galaxy Poe went, if he had you with him it would be home.

“Oh stars, kriffing STARS,” You were squealing, an arm wrapped behind each of their necks to hold yourself up, your lips peppering warm kisses between them each, “I’ve missed you both so much, my best guys!” You had a few happy tears on your cheeks now, Poe noticed when you leant your head to his and pressed your forehead to his own, repeating the affectionate greeting with Charlie.

“Kid, fuck it’s good to see you,” Charlie’s voice was thick with emotion, but his eyes were much drier than both yours and Poe’s. “How was the trip?”

“Maker, Charlie, Poe-you’re both so tall!” You laughed, realizing you were dangling a few inches above the ground as they held on to you. Poe liked the way he could feel your laughter as your body moved against him; as though you were passing it to him. “The trip was fine, crap food but I had a nice elder lady as my seat-mate. Reminded me of mum.”

They set you down, though Charlie was stroking your hair out of your face and Poe kept his hand on your waist, unable to let you go and lose the sensation of you finally, finally in his arms again. He never wanted to be apart from you for that long again, not if he could help it. 

“I’m sorry we couldn’t make it home for mum’s funeral,” Charlie murmured, an apology he’d repeated many times since your mother’s passing a few months prior.

“Hey,” You smiled sadly, “You two spent a lot of credits to holo-call in for it, that meant a lot to me. You know mum would have been livid if you’d abandoned your duties just for her.” Still, a few more tears slipped down your cheeks and Poe reached up with his free hand to gently wipe them away as Charlie nodded solemnly, opening his mouth to respond when-

“Horn! Hey, come meet my brother!” The three of you glanced around, Poe recognizing one of the mechanics Charlie was friendly with waving him over. Pressing a quick kiss to your temple and assuring you he’d be right back, Charlie hurried away to greet the mechanic and his brother.

When you turned to peer back up at Poe, your grin wide and eyes seemingly doing their own assessment of him, he realized that this was now the first time you’d been alone together since that night two years ago. Feeling his face flush, Poe tugged you close against him and pressed his lips to the top of your head. You certainly hadn’t gotten any taller yourself, now especially small in his embrace. Something about the realization settled warm in his belly, but he pushed the thoughts away.

“Missed you so much, sweetheart,” He whispered, pulling back slightly to look down into your eyes again. Your expression was a little shy, as though you were pleasantly caught off guard by his affection, “How have you been, really?”

You had your hands pressed against his chest as you smiled up at him. “Good, glad to be here finally. Yavin-4 didn’t feel like home anymore after mum,” You trailed off, eyes falling and brightening somewhat as you gazed at his chest. “Poe, you got uh,” You slide your hands across the expanse of him and Poe had to work to keep himself from gasping at the sensation of it as heat coiled within him, “Like, big? Broad. Wow, oh and less scruffy, too!” You added, eyes swinging back up to his clean-shaven jawline.

Poe made a noise of embarrassment at your words, smiling at you shyly. Reaching up with one hand, you stroked along his jaw one, two, three times. Dousing fuel on the fire within him, the motion was so second nature, intimate, comforting, that he really could have gathered you in his arms right there and pressed his lips to yours. He wanted to ask you if you realized how much he fucking loved you, if you had any idea what you did to him, body and soul and mind consumed and controlled by you and only ever you.

Instead, taking a deep breath, Poe shifted himself away from you casually, leaning at the same time to bring his head level to yours, his nose scrunched, “And you are exactly as short as I remember. Actually, might be shorter with my extra couple of inches now.”

“Rude,” You laughed, playfully smacking his shoulder, whatever tension that had just been present now gone. Your eyes strayed away from Poe’s to look all around at what you could see of the Rebel base here on the tarmac, your gaze landing almost hungrily on a nearby x-wing before jumping to watch as several flew overhead; the current patrol.

He watched you in adoration as you drank in your first real glimpse of the Resistance, your eyes widened in wonder and excitement that Poe had felt too the moment he’d arrived on D’Qar.

But in truth, it didn’t compare to what he was feeling right now.

Poe reached up and stroked your cheek, “Welcome home, (y/n).”  

MISSION DAY SIX - ABOARD CRUISER

“Commander.” You stepped out of the cockpit, your hands twisting in front of you nervously. Poe looked up from where he sat on the bottom bunk. “We’re safely in hyperspace. Autopilot engaged.” You kept your voice soft, as if afraid he would startle.

Or maybe you were afraid of him now. He wouldn’t blame you.

Rather than replying, Poe simply made a noise that was meant to be confirmation he had heard you but it came out strangled enough that it sounded like he was in pain. And he was in agony but he was trying to hold it all back, figure out how to forget.

Did there exist a plant that could make him fucking forget?

He watched as your face twisted before you dropped to your knees in front of him, his body stiffening when you pushed between his legs. Your hands came to rest gently on his cheeks as Poe met your eyes, their expression mirroring his own; pain, regret. But there was something more there, though it hurt him to see it: concern.

“Poe,” Your voice was soft and Poe felt himself tremble in response, unwilling to accept your kindness. “Please, Poe. You didn’t do anything wro-“

Poe jerked himself out of your hold, leaning back as you remained crouched before him, your hands falling to his thighs to keep steady. “Didn’t do anything wrong?” He breathed, watching you look up at him. “I keep hurting you. All I do is hurt you, (y/n). Don’t tell me everything is okay.”

MISSION DAY FOUR

Desire.

It was...the only thing you could feel anymore. All there was. Nothing else in your mind, like it had been scraped of every memory, every morsel of you and the only thing that remained was this burning, intense thirst. It was fucking incredible, there was no pain anymore, the heat felt like it belonged, that you were designed for the sole purpose of allowing it to burn you. When you set your gaze to the man before you, you could see that he was burning too.

Poe, with his dark eyes and heaving chest, moved quickly-almost too quickly, and you wondered if the pollen gave humans a physical boost. It would make sense because when he was suddenly lifting you and thrusting you against the stone wall, you didn’t feel it. There was only pleasure, no pain, no disorientation, but fuck the feel of his hands finally on you was exactly what you needed. The relief of his touch was enough to have you craving more, more now, now!

As if reading your mind, he was swiftly peeling your layers of gear off, ripping and tossing the material, tugging off your boots, one hand holding you against the wall and it wasn’t until he was sliding your pants down that you realized you were dangling a few feet above the ground. So there was definitely some juice to the pollen. Something about that realization made your toes curl in anticipation.

“Please, please fuck me, I can’t wait another minute,” You heard yourself begging, and dark Poe smirked, pulling his clothing off before adjusting his grip on you. Now, his hand slid down to roughly hold your ass, pressing his body against yours so closely you were supported between him and the wall. You wrapped your legs around his hips, moaning at the feel of his erection pressed into your thigh, and you glanced down to watch as he lined himself up with your cunt.

And stars, he was huge, the biggest you’d ever had. Thick and veiny, you let out the filthiest moan just looking at his cock, your sounds morphing into screams when he tilted his hips and thrust into you completely in one swift motion. Filling you. Growling as he claimed you entirely.

It should have hurt. Even with how wet you were, being split open and filled so brutally should be agonizing but it felt amazing. You could hear yourself demanding he never stops once he began a fast, harsh pace. Your head knocked back into the wall and you still felt no discomfort, not with dark Poe surrounding you, filling you so perfectly. One of his hands did shoot up and grip your jaw, pressing your head into the wall so that you couldn’t look anywhere but at him.

He was feral, his expression greedy and dangerous and it only made you clench around him. “Fuck,” He groaned both hands tightening their hold on your hip and face, “G-going to fucking ruin you for any other cock, little girl. Fucking brat, always so mean, and now you’re begging for me to fill you up, aren’t you?”

You were delirious with pleasure, his words shot straight to your pussy, but you still managed to reply. “Want you to...fill me up, use me, just n-never stop fucking me.” He growled at your words and pressed his lips to yours, his hand on your jaw forcing your mouth to open so that he could lick into you, taste you and swallow your whimpers and moans for more. After a few minutes of this pace, you felt the coil you hadn’t realize was tightening suddenly snap, and you gushed all over his cock as you had your first orgasm.

“Oh maker, I’m cumming, fuck!” But even as you came, crashing through wave after wave, dark Poe didn’t let up and you didn’t feel even remotely spent. An orgasm of that magnitude should have had you passing out; instead, you screamed for more.

+

Poe couldn’t get enough of your body, tight pussy clenched around him as he took you in every position. He didn’t feel tired, sore, and despite having already filled you several times with his seed, his erection hadn’t worn off. You allowed him to roughly handle you into whatever pose he felt like, though you would curse if he took too long, and then mewl when he’d enter you again and begin harshly pounding you. Those dark eyes of yours always focused on him, taunting him. Begging him to claim you.

He was behind you on the floor now, one hand gripping your hip and the other pressed into your lower back, forcing you to arch for him. You were screaming for more even as he relentlessly slammed into you and he only grinned at the idea of giving you what you wanted. He smacked your ass to punctuate every other word, “So fucking tight! Such a good little slut, taking all my cum, you want more now?” He slapped you one last time as his hips slowed, his orgasm tearing through him and pulling another from you and he cursed aloud at how fucking good it felt when you squeezed his cock during your high.

“More, fuck, more!” You whined moments later, even as his forward thrusts forced out the excessive amount of cum he’d filled you with. It was hot, the visual alone enough to hold his attention as you wiggled against him and begged.

“Good little slut, taking me so well,” He moaned, leaning over your back and nipping marks into your neck. When he rose back up, he pulled you with him so that you were flush against his chest as he picked up the pace again. The new angle seemed to hit something inside you differently, as your renewed screams were filling the room within seconds. “Such a perfect body, look at these tits.” He whispered into your ear, one hand cupping your breast and pinching your nipple.

You came again, drenching his cock and before you even stopped moaning from the high you were asking for more.

And fuck, he was going to give you more.

+

Hours, it had definitely been hours. At least six, you thought, if the light from filtering from the hall was anything to go by. The sun was different on this planet, never fully setting, so from your best knowledge you guessed Poe and you had been fucking for a good six hours, minimum.

It wasn’t enough. You hoped it never stopped. Maybe it wouldn’t.

It still didn’t hurt. Each orgasm wasn’t yet enough. You could see rather than feel the bruises on your skin, the cuts on your knees and hands from the rough ground. Even when Poe spanked you, the bite was momentary and delicious. This high was simply incredible. The sensation of him coating your insides with thick ropes of cum was forever engrained in your mind now.

You were riding him now; had been for the last few orgasms. He liked letting you do the work even though it didn’t feel like work-and watched as you rolled your hips and bounced for him, his hands occasionally reaching up to play with your tits. When he would come, he would grab your hips and slam you down, his strength preventing you from moving as he filled you deep, usually pulling your orgasm along with him because he was just so fucking sexy groaning for you.

“Like riding me, little girl?” He growled, releasing your hips and allowing you to start moving again. This time, you braced your hands on his chest so that you could change the angle, moaning when his thick cock dragged along your walls in the most perfect way. Kriff.

“Love it, never stopping,” You gasped, the room loud with the noises you each made and the sounds your cum stuffed pussy made each time he entered you. “Fuck, so fucking good.”

You sunk yourself onto his cock for a long time, watching his face as he filled you over and over, and still, it wasn’t enough.

Was it ever going to be enough?

+

Poe could see you were cock drunk, your grasp on Basic slipping to the point where you simply whimpered out short phrases, some of them entirely unintelligible. It was incredible, seeing you bent over the table, stuffed full of his cock and unable to articulate properly how good it felt.

“Oh fuck, here you go, take my cum,” He snapped his hips forwards and came, his grip on your hips like steel, holding you in place to take every last drop. You came moments later, your orgasm soaking him and dragging his out again. After just a moment, he readjusted you, lifting one of your legs onto the table and holding it there, his other hand sliding up your back and pressing to the back of your neck, pinning you.

“Oh, fuck, fuck!” You screamed when he started up again. He smirked, enjoying the sound of his body slapping against yours. From the way he held you, Poe had his wrist comm directly in his line of sight. After a moment, he registered the time on the display and realized that you’d been fucking for twelve hours, give or take. Twelve hours.

“Fuck, been fucking you all day little girl, filling you with my cum for fucking hours and hours,” He groaned, pressing you into the table even more. You whimpered in response, unable to speak. “Yeah, you love it, don’t you? Want more, come on I know you can speak, tell me you want my cum.”

“Uh, fuck I w-want, want your c-cum, please!”

“Yeah you do, fucking slut,” He picked up the pace again, then shot over the edge as you screamed, “Take my cum, take it, fuck.” Poe growled, still amazed at how tight you were, milking his cock perfectly every time. Once his orgasm subsided, he flipped you over onto your back and took a moment to gaze down at you.

Your black eyes were staring up at him hungrily, waiting for him to decide his next move. When you licked your lips, an idea popped into his head. He reached down and spun you so your head was at the edge of the table, your legs pointing away from him. He moved you so that your head just dangled over the edge, and then he pushed his fingers into your mouth, wetting them.

“Gonna put my cock down your throat, think you can handle that?” He said, grunting when your lips wrapped around his fingers and sucked a little. He was quick to replace them with his cock, one hand moving to hold under your head and the other guiding his length into your eager little mouth. “Fuck, yes.” He moaned, quickly setting a steady pace.

Once he had a rhythm going, Poe used the hand not supporting your head to place one of yours behind that one, “Tap, fucking hell yes, t-tap my hand if you need air, ah shit!” He just managed to give you the instructions before the overwhelming feeling of your mouth working on him so expertly had his balls pulling up and before he knew it, he was shooting his load down your throat.

You swallowed everything and then continued sucking him off as he fucked your face.

Thirteen hours.

+

He tasted delicious. You’d almost wished, when he shot that first load down your throat, that he’d started things out this way so that the taste of him was on your tongue the whole time. You made up for it by taking as much as you could, swallowing around his length as you pulled orgasm after orgasm from him.

Eventually, you were moaning around him enough that he realized it had been a while since you’d cum, and he pulled from your mouth. His dark gaze searched your cum covered face greedily before he climbed onto the table, pulling you up to lift you over his cock. He lowered you slowly onto him, the stretch exactly what you needed and so perfect that the moment you were fully seated you came, jerking in his arms.

You were in his lap, your legs wrapped around his back, and you briefly thought of how this was the most intimate position yet. Your chests pressed together, and he was expertly moving you in his lap, helping you to ride him.

His face was a breath away. You closed the gap.

He groaned when your mouth opened for him, letting his tongue taste the mixture of you and his spend. You squeezed his cock harder, you were so turned on, and it only took a few more rolls of your hips to feel yourself come undone again.

Your head felt heavy, so you let it fall into the crook of his neck, nuzzling.

“Oh yeah, so fucking good,” You whimpered, your arms around him, “Oh, Poe don’t stop!”

Poe.

Your Poe.

+

This is how...this is how he would have liked to be with you the first time, how he pictured it when he was younger. You straddling his lap, wrapped around each other as you rolled your hips and he pulled the most delicious sounds from you with his deep thrusts. It was intimate, the position allowing him to move between kissing you, holding you, licking your breasts, ensuring you were enjoying it as much as him.  

He could whisper sweet nothings into your ear this way, tell you he loved you and that he’d take care of you. And you would have liked it too, he knew, because you liked watching his face, reading his expressions every day and he knew that would have translated over to making love.

But this-this wasn’t making love, was it?

You had dropped your head down as you came again, your body curling into his as though for safety, comfort.

“Oh, Poe, don’t stop!”

He was going to cum again, the sound of his name on your lips for the first time hurling him over the edge, “Sweetheart, oh fuck, (y/n)!” He pressed your body into his and dropped his head to your neck, where he peppered it with gentle kisses as he spilled inside of you.

You both slowed your movements after coming down from your highs this time.

Poe felt himself panting, out of breath. You were panting too.

But why...why was he on the table? Poe leaned back slightly and you raised your head at his movement, your eyes meeting his. They weren’t as dark as before, but you looked tired. Poe felt tired, exhausted really.

You were still moving your hips, almost as if on autopilot. But you were frowning at Poe as you did, and then you winced. He froze, watching as you looked down at yourself, his eyes following yours.

“No...” He heard himself whisper in dawning horror. You were covered in marks; bruises or bites, hickies, red welts from places that looked like they’d been slapped.

They had been slapped. He had slapped you.

Poe felt himself softening inside you, a pain in his back and knees, his chest smarting as well. He glanced down and saw track marks from your nails down his chest. He didn’t even remember you doing that, it hadn’t hurt at the time. You whimpered, this time in pain and he looked back up into your eyes. They weren’t dark anymore. You were crying.

“Sweetheart-“ Poe faltered, shaking his head and trying to clear the clinging fog. You shifted a little and he slipped from inside of you. Both you and Poe groaned at the sensation, and you quivered as the mixture of fluids spilled out from inside you. “I-what happened...what did I do?”

Poe was sobbing now too.

It took some time to regain enough strength to move from the table, without the boost the pollen had provided you were both spent and every tired, aching muscle, bruise and bite mark or scratch could be fully felt now. Poe recovered first, easing himself to his feet and searching for the packs you’d each dropped when things...went dark.

You were panting on the table still, in much worse shape than he was and the rising panic inside of Poe was giving him the energy he needed to get to the medkits. He pushed through the pain in his limbs, thirst in his mouth and throbbing in his head-none of it mattered right now, not when you were suffering. He glanced at his wrist comm as he unzipped the medkit and realized, with horror, that it had been fourteen hours. Fourteen hours of brutal, relentless, rough sex.

The plant hadn’t just taken away inhibitions, hadn’t made it impossible to resist one another, no it had obliterated both of you-pushed you both into the far recesses of your minds and forced you to watch as its pollen turned you into feral, angry animals with exactly one goal.

And it stole from you both, stole your consent, your right to chose, abilities to control the urges that were twisted by its potency. Warped into selfish desire, the need for release and control, as if it was some archaic mating ritual-mark, consume, dominate. It wasn’t real, none of it had been, each of you losing yourselves in a hopeless battle against the strength of the pollen. And Poe...he had been violent, mean, brutal. It wasn’t that you hadn’t been, but it was the unavoidable reality that he was much bigger and stronger, the boost of the pollen making it easy to manhandle you.

He would never forgive himself for harming you. For the things he said, the marks left all over your body. If he could have died instead, fought against the pollen and let whatever happened in that case happen, he would have. Ten times over, he would have.

Just like Charlie, he would have sacrificed himself in an instant to protect you.

But you had refused to run and told Poe that you didn’t want to die. At that moment, right as he was coiled to try and run from you, he realized that you could die too. There was no medical backup, no nearby crew to call for help. It was Poe and you and the bacta shots that would have been completely ineffective with the pollen pulsing through your systems. He had to give in, and the darkness had taken him over the moment he accepted it.

He remembers fleetingly thinking of all the times in his life he had let himself think of being with you intimately. Usually guilt-ridden, he pushed the thoughts away; as a teenager, he failed half the time, and as an adult, he tried to refocus on other women, but they never measured up. When his imagination did get the better of him, it was always, always tender. Soft, slow, sensual. Just the very idea of being the one pulling moans from your lips and taking care of you would send him over the edge.

But that wasn’t what happened here. It wasn’t a light high that lowered inhibitions and made the sex last longer, feel more intense. No, this was a sinister plant so potent it drove away each of your humanity and respect for one another, pulling pleasure for yourselves instead of giving it to one another.

It was cold and harsh, and Poe was devastated.

You whimpered suddenly, pulling him from his thoughts, his head shooting up to look toward where you were laying on the table. “Sweetheart?” He stood the medkit in hand and tried to swallow back his sobs as he moved toward you.

“S’okay,” You groaned, eyes pressed tightly shut, “Find the bacta?”

“Yes, I-“ Poe faltered as he stood at the edge of the table, his hands holding the bacta shot he’d pulled out. “Can I touch you, or do you want to try and-?“

“Poe,” You mumbled tiredly, “I’m okay, please just give me the shot.” You attempted to roll yourself to your side and expose your buttocks for him but only ended up sobbing in pain again.

Flinching, Poe reached out and gently, so incredibly carefully, helped you to twist your hips. He heard himself whispering words of comfort but focused on opening the shot and lining it up. When he plunged the needle into you and pressed down on the plunger, you let out a weak but relieved little moan. “You’re okay sweetheart, I’m here, I’ll take care of you.” He promised, tossing aside the bacta shot and brushing his fingers over your face comfortingly.

His shattered heart beat hopefully when you reached up and took hold of his hand, squeezing.

+

Poe was watching you race Charlie up an older tree, his strength no match for your agility as the smaller sibling. It was a lazy day, hot enough to warrant a day by the river-which was what most of the kids in their town on Yavin-4 had been thinking, it seemed. The banks of the river were piled with kids and teens as far as he could see, though thankfully the prestige of the Horn and Dameron families left your favourite spot along the water relatively free of unwanted guests.

A few friends were nearby, giving Poe his space as he sat leaning against a boulder. A book sat open in his lap, though he’d been distracted many times now thanks to his inability to control his thoughts around you. His father had assured Poe that it was natural at seventeen to have a wandering mind, a surge of hormones, he’d horrifyingly explained. He advised that should the thoughts and feelings become too intense, that Poe needed to take a few breaths, refocus elsewhere, remind himself of the person that deserved his respect and not his wayward thoughts.

But Poe didn’t have these thoughts or feelings or whatever the fuck about anyone but you. It had always been you, and though so far he’d managed to hide his emotional and physical feelings from your notice, it alarmed him in moments like this. When you revealed much more skin than usual in a simple water suit, hair and sun-kissed skin damp from the water, he worried he might slip up. He was as ashamed of the direction his thoughts would go in as he was sure that you would, for the rest of his life, be the only one he ever truly admired so ardently, loved so deeply that he fought to refuse to disrespect you with his hormone fuelled thoughts.

You gave a whoop when you reached the highest point the tree would allow, its trunk and branches thinning enough to make it unsafe to climb any further beyond. A friend of yours, Tahla, and a few of his buddies were nearby in the water, laughing and teasing you from below and jokingly daring you and Charlie to jump. It wouldn’t have been unsafe to do, so instead, you both laughed and began the slow climb down.

You were moving much more slowly than Charlie now, out of breath from the race and taking care not to scratch yourself. Your brother hit the ground, tossed Poe a smirk, then barrelled into the water to cool off. Poe rolled his eyes, laughing as Charlie started picking up some of the smaller guys and tossing them into the water. A game fondly, yet unofficially, referred to as tempting the bull.

Poe adjusted himself against the rock, trying to get comfortable but he felt warm enough now that he thought he should get in the water as soon as Charlie wore himself out enough not to be a threat. You were still a good way up the tree, now slowed even further as you had a conversation with one of Tahla’s friends that had come out of the water to chat with you. Frowning to himself, Poe watched as you continued a friendly banter and felt the clutches of envy reaching for him.

This seemed like a good enough excuse to close his eyes and take one of those deep breaths his father advised. First standing, Poe tugged off his shirt so that he could make his way to the water, then allowed his eyes to flutter shut. Taking half a breath in until the sound of a branch snapping and your scream halted him in his tracks. Poe’s eyes snapped open and then he was frantically running, too far away to do anything as you lost your grip and fell, slamming into the ground on your side and letting out a pained wail.

Poe briefly met Charlie’s wide eyes as they both ran for you from different directions. Panic reflected there, but Poe got to you first and his eyes moved to you. Annoyingly, the blonde who had been speaking to you-distracting you-was knelt over you and worriedly checking you over.

Poe pushed him away from you, “Don’t touch her,” He heard himself snarl, taking a threatening step toward the kid, who raised his hands in surrender, “Get the fuck-“

“Poe,” He halted in his tracks and spun at the sound of your tiny voice, his anger waning the moment he saw you clutching awkwardly at your arm, Charlie knelt beside you. It was like you hadn’t even noticed your brother, though, your eyes only on Poe, surprisingly intense as you stopped him from chasing down Tahla’s idiot friend. “I-I think my arm is b-broken.” You sniffled, eyes streaming, and flinched as some of the tears ran through the scratches on your cheek.

“Oh sweetheart,” He was kneeling in front of you seconds later, inspecting you all over for any more injuries, thankful when your head appeared to be free of any bleeding. He looked to Charlie, who read his thoughts instantly.

“Kid, I’ll run ahead and let the Healer’s know what happened, flyboy’s got you.” Charlie kissed the top of your head and ran off at full speed.

You let out another sob, this time revealing to Poe that your pride was as injured as your arm. He leaned down and pressed his forehead to yours, “You’re okay, sweetheart. I’m here, I’ll take care of you.” And with great care, he slid one arm under your legs, the other bracing your back, lifting you as he stood.

He carried you with great caution, moving a little slower than he’d prefer but, since you were still flushed and awake he figured jostling you too much would cause more damage than taking his time getting you to the healer.

“Were you gonna punch Raine, Poe?” You asked, still holding your arm carefully.

Poe grimaced, “He distracted you, should have waited till you were on the ground to bug you.” He replied tightly, not meeting your gaze as he didn’t want you to see in his expression how upset he was.

You sensed it, though, your good hand reaching up to stroke his jaw one, two, three times in a successful effort to soothe him.

“Raine isn’t all that distracting.” You murmured after a minute. Poe had to bite back a pleased smile, a little guilt bubbling up as a rogue thought tumbled in the back of his head that perhaps you had been looking at someone else when you became distracted.

+

Poe was a stubborn fucking man, this was something you’d always been keenly aware of, but at this moment you wanted to throttle him for it. You didn’t have the emotional energy to deal with him, though the bacta shot he’d given you had you feeling physically wonderful, it did nothing to help your mind.

And you were so weary, all you wanted to do was sleep but his refusal to receive his bacta shot was preventing that from happening. You just needed to close your eyes for a few hours and let your brain process everything that had happened.

“Poe, there’s no reason for you to say no to the shot. You know I have to do it, it’s my directive-“

“And as your Commander,” He cut you off, pushing the hand that held the shot away, “I’m ordering you to not follow the directive. I’m fine. Don’t need it.”

And he wouldn’t even look at you now, his eyes everywhere but yours, his expression tight. Stubborn, stupid flyboy!

You considered how to convince him, realizing the arguments you had used so far were ineffective. “Poe, I don’t know anything about this pollen.” You stepped up to stand in front of him at the table, both of you now dressed in fresh clothing, skin scrubbed with medical towelettes, though you both needed to take showers urgently. You stunk.

Poe glanced at you nervously as you came into his space, and you wanted to cry at how he looked afraid of you. Afraid to move, because he might hurt you. You could see him taking the last few years and pushing it all into this fucking day, convincing himself that he hurt you again, that it was somehow his fault.

You’d really done a number on him. Your heart filled with sorrow.

“I feel fine.”

You set the shot down on the table next to where he sat, then reached up and grabbed his face in your hands, forcing him to meet your eyes. He flinched at your touch, his body going rigid. “Poe, baby please let me do this,” His brows shot up in surprise at the sincere concern in your voice, the tenderness of your hands on his face, “If for no other reason, to at least prevent cardiac arrest or...or a relapse.” You didn’t want to say this aloud, but you knew that just because you’d been exposed to the pollen once didn’t make either of you immune to its effects. The bacta would ensure that nothing further happened while you were on the planet.

“What?” His voice was sharp, “Are you saying I could...that I might-“

You shook your head, “I’m saying I don’t know, and anything is a possibility if you don’t take the shot.”

Poe sighed heavily, his eyes closing as he gave you a small nod. Wordlessly, he stood and you dropped your hands, picking up the bacta shot as he undid his belt and pushed one side of his pants down just enough to reveal his buttocks. Wasting no time, you plunged the shot into his skin and let out a breath of relief at his sound of content. Without thinking, you placed your free hand on his lower back in comfort.

“Thank you, Poe.”

He fixed his pants and glanced at you over his shoulder, his expression painfully dejected. You wanted to hold him. Instead, he took a few measured steps across the room and stooped to pick up both of your packs, no longer meeting your eyes. You sighed.

“Let’s find somewhere to get a few hours shut-eye.” He said, leading the way out of the room.

You followed him, glancing over your shoulder at the room one last time, your heart ten times heavier than it had been before you entered it.  

+

It didn’t take long to find a room with a few bunks, you and Poe each falling to an empty bed and falling asleep in a matter of moments. You were able to get a few hours, waking up feeling surprisingly refreshed, one of the helpful effects of the bacta shot. You were on your back and blinked up at the base of the upper bunk for a few moments, confused as to why you’d awoken. A sharp, suppressed sob pulled your attention to the bed just across from you, though Poe’s back was to you, you could see his shoulders shaking. He was crying.

It happened then, a monumental shift inside of you that was like seeing your whole life flash before your eyes. Only it was all Poe, every single moment of your life interwoven with him because he had always been there, always been absolutely everything to you. Seeing him across the room from you, trying to hide his pain again. Something in the core of your being shifted. You had to bite back a gasp as you felt several years of pent-up anger and pain begin to melt away until you were left raw, trying to reconcile how you had let your relationship with Poe get to this point, and even why you ran in the first place.

Maker, you were awful. Charlie would be ashamed of you, he loved Poe like a brother and you had been nothing but cruel these last couple of months. Another choked back sob cut through the air and you wanted to walk over to Poe and soothe his pain, assure him everything was okay. But it wasn’t, and you didn’t know how to even begin to try and repair everything between you and him, especially not after what had just happened.

But you did...you wanted your best friend back. Which meant you needed to do some serious thinking. And that couldn’t all happen right here during the mission. So you pretended to just be waking up, noisily to give him a moment to hide his tears and pushed everything else back-just for a little while longer.

Poe stilled, and out of the corner of your eye, you saw his head duck down, no doubt wiping his tears away. By the time you sat up, he was rolling over at pretending he had just woken up as well.

“Hey,” You gave him a small smile, then glanced at your wrist comm. “If we eat something and then start our search, we can be back at the ship in roughly four and a half hours.” Poe nodded in response, sitting up, and you watched him reach into one of the packs by the side of his bed. He pulled out two bottles of water and a couple of rations each, handing yours to you and carefully avoiding touching your skin as he did.

As much as you wanted to tell him you weren’t afraid of him, you knew this moment wasn’t the time to start the conversation. Instead, you ate in silence, Poe’s eyes on the floor and yours gazing at the walls, which had some basic Empire propaganda posted upon them.

After breakfast, you each suited up properly for exploring the facility and set out, wandering the halls cautiously in search of the main control room. It didn’t take too long to find, though you were held up trying to get the door to disengage. When your usual tricks didn’t work, you had to set up a charge and blow the door. You’d used these kinds of minor explosives plenty of times, retreating down the hall further than necessary as you counted down until detonation.

Surprising you, Poe suddenly spun from where he stood next to you and blocked your body protectively with his wider frame as the door was blown off of its hinges. He looked over your head, hands clenched at his sides, but he didn’t move until you leaned to look around him and confirmed it was safe to move in.

You felt as though your heart was sitting in the back of your throat now.

It was well preserved, evidently one of the first rooms to be locked up when the Empire forces abandoned this outpost. It was a treasure trove of intel and you excitedly got to work, breaking away from Poe to complete a safety sweep.

After completing a preliminary search of the room, you found the main control panel and, flipping through every piece of information you had in your brain on old technology, you started pulling it open to seek out where you could insert the data drive you’d brought. You were confident BB8 could crack through any ancient firewalls on any of the data you were able to recover. Poe was doing similar work at the stations' console across the room, working in silence but sometimes you could feel his eyes on you, looking away before you could catch his eye.

A while later and you were on your back under the console, seeking out the hidden panel that would give you access to the data bridge. It took a few minutes, but you finally found it and had to finagle it awkwardly with your nails, trying to pry the cover off. It gave a satisfying little ‘pop’ when you managed to free it.

And then it promptly fell straight onto your face.

It shot straight through your hands, the edge smacking off of the corner of your cheek before bouncing to the ground. “Fuck!” You cried, feeling the skin tear and warm blood pooling out.

Stars, you really were off your game.

Dabbing at the blood carefully with the sleeve of your shirt, you were suddenly dragged out from under the panel by your ankles. Before you could even question what was happening, Poe was leaning over you, his expression panic-stricken, only paling further when he saw the blood on your cheek.

“What happened?” His voice was frantic, hands hovering above you; it was an entirely uncharacteristic reaction for him that for a moment you could only stare up at him in surprise. “Sweetheart, what happened?”

“I’m okay,” You assured him hurriedly, sitting up onto your elbows, “Just dropped that panel on my face.” You gazed at Poe as his eyes dropped from you to the panel now laying on the ground next to you. A modicum of relief swept over his features fleetingly.

Wordlessly, he reached into your nearby pack and pulled out a bacta-spray. When his hands raised toward your face, you watched as he hesitated briefly before he touched you, one hand wrapping around the back of your head to hold you steady, the other applying the bacta-spray.

Still holding you, he dropped the spray into the pack again and pulled out a bandage. “Turn your head for me, sweetheart.” He murmured, his eyes focused on your cheek.

You did as he asked and waited as he used both hands to apply the bandage over your skin. Peering up at Poe when he finished, you were touched by his gentle care, though you understood it was coming from a place of contrition more than anything. His fingers absentmindedly brushed downward, to ensure the edges of the bandage were sealed; you shivered involuntarily at the light contact.

Poe went rigid, his eyes meeting yours briefly in surprise before you glanced away, your face flushing. “Thank you.” You murmured, remaining still until he scooted back and stood, and then you were quickly pushing yourself back under the panel.

MISSION DAY SIX - ABOARD CRUISER

You sat back on your hunches, eyes on the man in front of you as he came apart, the emotions he’d tried hiding from you since that morning now spilling out. You were holding yourself steady by gripping his thighs and could feel the way his body was as rigid as durasteel. You looked at him and reminded yourself that this was what you would do to him if you left again, that leaving things unsaid and unresolved was never the answer.

“I hurt you, over and over,” His hands came to clench at his sides, gripping into the sheets of your bunk, “I said horrible things to you, at Charlie’s funeral and then since you’ve been back, and yesterday I-I can’t even-“

“Yesterday wasn’t you, Poe, it wasn’t either of us.” You interjected softly, urging yourself to remain exceptionally calm as he came undone.

He huffed, unimpressed with your argument, “Y-you and I, we lost everything the day Charlie died. But you kept it together, organized the funeral, smiled and hugged everyone who came up to us...all I could do was stand there and be angry at y-you even though I knew it wasn’t your fault,” Poe shook his head aggressively when you opened your mouth to interrupt, “No, you know it’s true, you even said it yourself. I failed you. And then you came back and I failed you again, let us drift further apart than we’d been when you were in a different galaxy. You lost your brother, and then I lost you both and I-I’m so, fuck (y/n), I am so sorry.”

And he sobbed, a retched, heartbreaking sob that almost knocked you off of your feet, it was so real and deep. You couldn’t help the tears that poured down your cheeks in response, and you were momentarily at a loss of how to respond. How could you even begin to help take away that much pain? When you were the fucking person who caused it?

Unsure of what else to do, you slid forward and in between his legs again, your hands moving to grip his forearms. You rubbed up and down soothingly and held him harder when he tried to pull away.

“You shouldn’t be near me, not after w-what I’ve done to you.” He gasped out, failing to move out of your grasp but continuing to struggle. It was a testament to his fear of causing you harm that he simply didn’t push away, as the stronger person.

“Neither of us had any choice, Poe, we were both covered in that pollen. And,” You moved your head to catch his eye, to ensure he heard your next words, “And Poe, I was the one who tackled us into that bush, who forgot the map they studied for two days that showed that cliff. Do you blame me for what happened?”

Poe almost glared at you, stilling, “Of course I don’t blame you-“

“Then understand that I don’t blame you either, Poe, fuck.”

“(y/n),” His voice dropped, thick with emotion, “You said...right before I-you said that you didn’t want to die. When you put it like that, I knew it meant you understood what was happening but hadn’t heard of a plant this powerful and didn’t know if you could die if we didn’t...” He paused, shaking his head. He looked at you then, through tear-soaked lashes, an expression so full of sorrow you stopped breathing. “That was the only reason I stayed with you. I was fighting it, I was going to make a run for it when you wouldn’t. I wanted to run, let myself die because I could feel what the pollen was making me want to do to you and fuck, it scared me. What I did to you yesterday was horrific. Unforgivable. Everything I’ve done to you is.”

Suddenly, you were angry, his words registering in your brain like an explosion, “Shut up,” You growled, harsh enough to catch him off guard and he was peering at you in surprise, eyes searching your face in confusion. “Don’t ever, ever say-I can’t believe you...why would you want to die, Poe? What the hell is wrong with you? Do you think I could survive you dying? That I would want to live in a galaxy where you and Charlie were both gone? I left, I know, but I always knew you were at least alive!”

Poe gaped at you in shock, looking as though you had just slapped him awake, cleared the fog from his brain. Before you knew what was happening, he reached down for you and gripped your waist before dropping to his knees on the ground with you, crushing you into a tight embrace. His head dropped into the crook of your neck, and you wondered how you ever could be trusted enough for this strong, capable man to let himself become so vulnerable for you.

“Didn’t mean it,” He murmured, nuzzling your neck slightly as you instinctively run your fingers through his hair. “I promise I won’t leave...if you don’t want me to, I won’t leave you.”

You remained in Poe’s arms for some time, the silence was no longer heavy with anger but rather thick with emotion. And stars, you had forgotten what being held by Poe was like, the warmth and safety his arms had always surrounded you with. You let yourself forget; instead, you’d spent these last few years painting a picture of Poe Dameron with only the medium of his final words to you, resulting in an ugly, distorted image that served to fuel your pain, your resentment.

In doing this, you had forgotten how complex Poe was, how he acted cocky, snarky, but deep down he was a serious, earnest man with a heart of gold. He let himself feel, didn’t try to hide his emotions from you or Charlie growing up, he cried when you cried and...and fuck, the one time he messed up and let his emotions get the better of him, you fled and didn’t look back. You didn’t let him apologize, and you knew even if he had found you straight after your fight you wouldn’t have listened.

You abandoned Poe because you had been afraid, a coward if there ever was one in this situation. And you weren’t just running from the loss, you were running from feelings you didn’t understand the depth of until you lost your brother. Because there was this moment, it was so brief, fleeting, but for just one moment you had been relieved that Poe hadn’t died during the Gold team mission.

And what did that make you? Not only a coward for running but a monster for thinking it in the first place. Instead of dealing with any of your feelings, your grief, you took the easy route and fled literal constellations away, severing ties with the one man in the whole galaxy who mattered to you anymore because you were terrified of how fucking in love with him you had been, and how your brother dying was what made you realize it.

+

Poe had let you shower first, taking time while you were in the fresher to collect all of the items from the mission and put them in an airtight container. He didn’t want to risk any of the pollen getting onto either of you again. Once he’d done that, he put on a fresh pot of caf and was halfway through his first cup when you emerged, hair down in long, damp tendrils, wearing another of Charlie’s old shirts and some worn jersey shorts.

“Oh, maker, caf!” You groaned happily, eagerly accepting the cup he’d poured for you and taking a long swell, eyes closed. Poe watched you, his mind still reeling over everything that had occurred in the last day.

You had been acting so much like the you he remembered, the person he’d grown up with-so kind-hearted, understanding. It was overwhelming to try and process what had happened with the pollen while navigating this shift in his relationship with you. For the first time in a long time, Poe felt as though his best friend was coming back to him.

“Did you,” He paused, gauging your reaction to his voice, but you just observed him over your mug, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Did you keep a lot of Charlie’s things?” If you were upset by the question, it didn’t show. You considered his words, nodding.

“I did, at first. I left so quickly that I didn’t have time to grab anything of his...Tommy and Rico boxed everything for me and kept it stored until I was reassigned.” Your expression tightened at the memory, “I had a few weeks off, I planet hopped to some of Charlie’s favourite spots, then once I was settled in at my new assignment had everything brought over. I kept a lot of his shirts, personal effects. Just donated his pants, really.”

Poe smiled, “I guess there were some very happy big and tall men that found those pants at the shelter.” Cheesy, he cringed internally.

But you laughed, a genuine little giggle just for Poe, one he’d heard a million times before but it had been so long, emotion bubbled up within him and his smile faltered; he glanced away, hoping you wouldn’t notice his shift in mood.

“What is it?”

Poe sighed, mildly amused at your familiar behaviour. You never did let him get away with hiding things if you could help it. Rather than explain how much it meant to him to be standing there with you, laughing, he swivelled the conversation, one last thing on his mind.

“I’m going to say something, and then if you want to just close this conversation after I do, I’m good with that, okay?”

You tilted your head curiously, giving him a little nod, “Sure.”

Poe looked away from you, staring down into his mug as he considered how to phrase what he wanted to say. “I know it was the pollen, all of it,” He took a deep breath, willing his brain to make itself useful, “I still need you to hear me say this: the things I said to you during...while we were under it-I wouldn’t ever say anything like that to you, (y/n). They were mean and filthy, crude words I’ve never...would never...not that we would, I mean, shit.” He ran a hand over his face, holding over his forehead as his frustration with himself grew.

“Poe?” You said after a pause, and he glanced up. Your expression was exceptionally understanding, “The same goes for me. The scratching too wasn’t me. And,” Your lips quirked, “I think I called you Commander a few times, and please know I do not call people by their rank during sex, stars.”

Poe chuckled, “Obviously, that would be fucking embarrassing,” Your smile widened at his response. “It’s just important to me that you know I would never think or enjoy saying mean and degrading stuff like that about a woman, about you.”

You nodded and bit your lip, “I’ve always known that, Poe.” Pausing to take another deep drink of your caf, you then pointed with your free hand to your right forearm, “Also, um, I have an implant so we...that is, I’m not going to, uh...” You trailed off awkwardly.

His eyes widened in horror, realizing he hadn’t thought beyond the potential emotional consequences of what had happened. “Shit, are you sure?”

You nodded vigorously when his gaze fell to your stomach before meeting yours again, “No sex pollen babies.” Each of you looked away at the same moment, embarrassed.

After a few minutes of quiet, Poe looked back down at you. You were standing next to him, leant against the counter and staring unseeingly in front of you. “Sweetheart?”

Your eyes refocused and met his, “Y-yeah, Poe?”

He moved slowly, careful not to startle you. Using his free hand, he cupped the back of your head and lowered his own to press your foreheads together, an affectionate display you had both done since you were little. He felt you relax into it, and for a minute everything was quiet and peaceful and safe.

Poe felt like his shattered heart wasn’t in so many pieces anymore.

And then you reached up with your hand and stroked along his jaw one, two, three times. Just like that, he felt you come back to him.

Poe smiled to himself, getting lost in the feeling.

@mermaidxatxheart​ @foxilayde​ @eleinemk​ @paintballkid711​ @mylifeisactuallyamess​ @20th-centu-fairy-girl​ @deitysnips​ @cannedsoupsucks​ @ubri812 @poedameronloverx @hoeforthefictional @astrological-bitch @itsnottilly @its-djarin

[shirophantomvox]

First Date with Chrollo (Human Diary)

Hello everyone! I am back with another “First Date” post featuring the Prince of Darkness. This was an anon post but I can't find the ask anywhere! I have been watching JoJo’s Bizarre Adventures lately and it is a very interesting show. Dio turned into a zombie and he’s so mean to Joseph. Anyway, let’s get into the post. The end is a bit angst-y but I did that to take a slight turn from all Fluff. I hope you enjoy! Part 2 coming sometime this week.m

It is common knowledge that Chrollo loves to read many books. When he was a child, he had time to read and that provided a great source of comfort. Although he seems to be ruthless, every human has the ability to seek compatibility and compassion. Both Hisoka and Chrollo enjoy the romance genre except Hisoka prefers to watch movies while Chrollo loves to read stories. You've known Chrollo since elementary school. You were fortunate enough to be able to move out of Meteor City and attend a better elementary school. As a child, you were an outcast and made few friends but on occasion, Chrollo would see you at a local arcade. Of course, your mother paid for the both of you to have fun but once it was over, it broke your heart because you knew about the conditions he’d return to once he left.

As time went on, you entered college and decided to invite Chrollo on campus so he could be something like a driving force for future success. You’ve been accepted into Yorknew University planning on majoring in Computer Science with a minor in Digital Art. Reaching Chrollo posed a challenge. He never responded to a few messages but on the third try, he answered with an excited response.

“Please forgive me y/n for not responding soon enough. I am more than happy to visit you. I am proud of you and your accomplishments. I do not see myself as a college man but, hey, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it right? I’ll be in touch.”

-Chrollo

At exactly 7 PM on a calm Fall night, standing outside of the campus’ most prominent book store, you began to sweat and your makeup began to drip. Just as you were about to wipe it off, you heard a voice call your name.

“Y/n? Is that you?” He chuckled as he questioned your appearance.

Turning around, you jumped a little at the sight before you. This wasn’t the same Chrollo you remember, of course. He had grown several feet, his face was much sharper, his arms were much bigger, had a bandana tied on his forehead, and he had a few rings on. He was dressed in a white polo shirt, black pressed slacks and black dress shoes. It’s weird. It felt like an arrow was shot through your heart.

“Are you ok? You act as if you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I’m fine! I’m just---You--look…”

“Ah, I see. There’s no need to be flustered. I am the same as when we were kids.”

The Yorknew Sailor Store was designed something exactly like a Barnes and Noble except the walls were painted to match the school’s colors.

The bookstore had a perfectly designed Starbucks, with a wooden finish, black and brown metal tables, beige tile floor, and glass doors.

Chrollo immediately noticed the change in behavior, one he wasn’t used to.

The students were snooty according to him and reminded him of how the city council would act towards him, his family, and those who were like him.

First, you offered to buy him a drink. The good thing about Chrollo is that if you or anyone else offers to buy something, He will not reject it. There is no such thing as having too much pride regarding him.

“Do you drink coffee?”

“Of course I do,” he replied. “But I don’t think I’ve had any of these drinks. A Caramel Macchiato? That sounds good.”

“Order it then! That will give you just the right amount of energy for today’s reading!”

To you, this was just two friends reuniting with each other but something else told you that Chrollo thought it was something more. He only dressed up like this if he was going out with someone special and even then it wasn’t an expensive Polo Short, It was his best t-shirt and jeans.

It boggles your mind how Chrollo acquired his expensive clothing but maybe he obtained a great job and is able to make a living for himself.

“I’d like to order a Caramel Macchiato.”

“What’s the name for this drink?”

“Chrollo,” you responded.

“And for you?”

“I would like a caramel Frappuccino with soy milk and no whip cream.”

“Alright. That’ll be $15.00.”

Chrollo glanced at you wide-eyed.

“It’s ok. I got it.”

You take out your card to pay and as you move out of line you bend over to whisper in his ear. “Maybe you can pay for dinner though.”

He laughed and smiled. “Of course, y/n.”

The bookstore was full of comfortable furniture ranging from light blue, dark blue, white in the lounge area. Both of you decided to sit across from each other on the blue chairs that swallowed you both as you sat.

As he read, he’d point out any interesting points in the book. He got tired of yelling across the table, so he decided to share a chair with you. He could feel the heat radiating from your body.

It was almost obvious that you all were involuntarily flirting with each other. The school was full of couples but occasionally seeing the goofy couple was the highlight of everyone’s day.

“This man was so devoted to a woman that does not know that he exists.”

“Sounds pointless,” you say, still trying to read your book.

“Well, she knows he exists but she is ignoring him and making him look like a fool in front of everyone. He says that there is something about her that he has never seen in any woman.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s her eyes, smile, intelligence, the shape of her lips, and her perfume powder aroma. Those are things that drive men wild.”

You smiled and laughed but came to a quick halt when you felt something along the ridge of your neck made you still. The hair on your neck stood up still as the invading force came in contact with your skin. It was Chrollo grazing his nose against your skin, slightly sniffing in your aroma; slowly breathing in and out.

Closing your eyes couldn’t make your sudden arousal fade. At this point, nearly everybody was looking at you both and looked away. This behavior was innocent for college culture, but it was taken as a cute gesture rather than naughty.

You blush. It was quite surprising that your childhood friend viewed you as something of the sort. It was both flattering and scary.

There’s no denying that Chrollo is handsome but if you dated him and the relationship didn't last, it could ruin your friendship.

At this point, Chrollo had his right arm resting lazily behind your back as his head and next aimed in a position that would allow his nose to lay carelessly on your neck.

“You smell delightful. I didn’t know you wore such expensive perfume. Is it….,” He sniffs again, “Flower Rose?”

“Yes! How did you know? Does your mother wear it?”

“She does now. I bought it for her a week ago and now the guys in the city can’t stay off her.”

Wow. The City. Even though it was a hell hole, it was your hell hole. How is everything? How is your mother? How did you manage to have such an expensive taste in clothing and fragrance?

Chrollo enjoys making others flustered. It's amusing to see them stutter when they’re either aroused or nervous.

On the flip side, seeing Chrollo flustered was the highlight of the century! The bad guys are used to being “bad” but expressing softer emotions makes it amazing and a reminder that they can experience them too.

Grabbing Chrollo’s left hand, you gently kiss it a few times and wink at him. He smiled, hiding his dumbfounded expression, and blushed slightly.

“I see you catch on quick.”

“I was raised in Meteor City. Just because I’m here doesn't mean I have forgotten where I come from. But I didn’t know you liked me.”

“You were the only one that trusted me and played with me when no one would.”

It felt like two magnets were pulling you closer. If he kissed you right here right now, you could just melt into a puddle but before anything happened, Chrollo’s phone rang loud and echoed throughout the bookstore.

Glancing at his phone, you saw an unknown number call, and judging from his actions he stood quickly to his feet.

“I’ll only be gone for a second.”

Hmm. That was odd. During this short intermission, you continue to read your book. Ironic enough, you weren’t into romance novels per se, you enjoyed action and comedy books!

Once Chrollo returned, his face was flushed and his soft demeanor had suddenly disappeared. He looked as if he was going to punch a wall.

“What’s wrong, Chrollo?”

He glanced at you with a somber smile, hoping to convince you that he was alright. “I am fine, y/n.”

“Are you sure?”

“Well, if you count my mother being seriously injured, then yes.”

“Oh no! We can leave now, it’s fine.”

“No, it's ok. She wouldn’t want me to leave you all by yourself at this time of day.” He pointed to the night sky.

Wow! That was quick!

“What do you mean?”

“My mother predicted that I could end up with you...she also predicted that someone would be hurt or in danger if that prophecy was fulfilled. It’s sort of like give or take. In order to make someone happy, someone has to surrender their happiness and I guess it was her.”

A single tear dropped down his cheek and nothing more. He didn’t care if other men singled out his “weakness” because he’d destroy them all and he didn’t want y/n to know about his abilities until later.

The comfort of your warmth against his head provided more than comfort. He felt safe, welcomed, not judged, and vulnerable. He knew that you wouldn’t make him out to be a bad person but instead welcome him home with open arms. You were his human diary.

[sunflowerdarlingx]

Fred Weasley - “I need you” 2

Hi I hope everyone is okay! 

This is part two of my previous Fred imagine. Part one! 

Please let me know what you think, part 3 is coming and will be filled with smut. 

Female Reader

Warnings: talk of sex but only a few sentences. Minors DNI

-----------------------------------------------

Three weeks and four days, that’s how long it had been since the war ended. The first few days were spent together, locked away from the rest of the world. Y/N’s parents visited the burrow every day for the first two weeks, now they were back to writing to each other regularly.  

Every night, Fred and Y/N would sit outside together under the stars, they had been working on building their relationship. Each night held new conversations about their relationships, discussing old memories, worries, solutions and even planning their future. Fred has always put his maximum effort into everything he does and fixing their relationship was no different.  

The time came about a week and a half after the war where Fred introduced date nights, they would happen every Thursday and at least one other night a week. He said having one night dedicated to them every week would make sure that they would have time to talk, no matter what was going on or how busy life got.  

Every date he planned was planned with care, he recreated some of their first dates from school, he always made sure they would talk about their feelings like worries and fear (the two main factors in the downfall of their previous relationship) and Fred was not going to let it happen again.  

Fred and George decided that they were going to move back to their flat, they wouldn’t open the shop for another while, but they needed to get back to their own space. They wanted to plan a grand re-opening for when things returned to, well, normal. The first night back at the flat Fred had asked Y/N to be ‘officially’ his again and of course Y/N couldn’t say no. She could see how hard Fred was trying, from his creative date nights, to the little notes left around the burrow reminding her of how much he loved her, from the constant cuddles and soft kisses to photos of all their favourite times together popping up around the house.  

These cute reminders never stopped when they moved back to the flat, Y/N realised Fred needed the reminders too, so she started doing the same, writing little notes on the mirror just before Fred got out of the shower, or waking up early enough to make him breakfast before he went to the shop to work on some new products with George.  

Each morning Fred woke up, he couldn’t be more thankful, his family were safe, and he finally had the girl he loved back in his arms.  

-

It had now been six weeks since the end of the war and Fred and George were working towards their re-opening. Every morning Fred and Y/N would usually wake up together, Y/N making breakfast whilst Fred got ready, but on this particular morning Fred was the only one up, deciding to let Y/N sleep, he grabbed a piece of parchment and wrote her a little note.  

Morning cutie,  

I’m down in the shop with George, you looked so beautiful sleeping I couldn’t bring myself to wake you up.  

I’ve asked George to let us have the flat tonight, so he is going to go and stay with mum and everyone at the burrow. I thought we could cook dinner together, like we use to when we were at home during the summer, only if you are up for it of course. If not, we can go out or order in – your choice.

Come and see me when you wake up, I missed getting my good morning kiss and our usual breakfast date :( and you can let me know what you think about tonight ;)

I love you,

Oh, and there is a little croissant in the kitchen with your name on it <3

Freddie x

Y/N couldn’t help but smile as she read Fred’s note, pulling herself out of bed, she had her breakfast made her way down to the shop. She walked into the storeroom and was greeted by a smiling Fred, “where's George?”.  

“Away out with Ange, you just missed him babe”, Y/N made her way over to Fred and he pulled her down into his lap. Y/N buried her head in his neck, Fred placed a few kisses on the side of her head before clearing his throat “So, what do you think about tonight?”, he could feel Y/N smile into his neck, “I think we should cook; it's been a while since we’ve done it together. When you’re all done here, we can go to the shops, sound good?”, “Sounds perfect love, I just need to finish this paperwork and then we can go. I might need you to help me with the muggle money, I still don’t understand it.” this caused Y/N to let out a giggle.  

Y/N kissed him quickly before heading to the door “I better go get ready then...and I’ll make sure I’ve got the right purse” with a wink she was off back to the apartment.  

As she was stood having a quick shower, she couldn’t help but let her mind wander, as happy as she was with her relationship, she missed the intimate nights her and Fred had. She couldn’t give herself the same pleasure as Fred did. It hadn’t been something they discussed, Fred was worried that Y/N would get the wrong idea about them getting back together and well, Y/N’s insecurity of not being good enough resurfaced. It was all she could think about as she got ready, the long nights of passion, the quick rushed fun during the day or the countless times they were interrupted at the burrow by the fear of getting caught.  

Deciding tonight was going to be the night to take their relationship that one step forward in getting back to normality, Y/N decided she would slip away whilst shopping to find herself a new lingerie set. Once dressed she made her way back downstairs, greeted by Fred who then apparated them to a small alley in London.  

Fred decided he wanted pasta, so they made their way around the market getting all the ingredients they needed. “I have an idea Freddie” they were walking hand in hand down a cobble path towards the fruit and veg stalls, “oh yea?” he questioned as he tugged her towards him and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.  

“Why don’t we dress up for date night? Something fancy” Y/N stares up at him through her big doe eyes, “we can both go look for something new and then grab a bottle of wine before going back home”. Fred is captured by her beauty, the way her eyes beam in the sun, “if that’s what you want love then, that’s what we will do. Will you help me pay though?”, Y/N lets out a little snort as she laughs and Fred chuckles too. “Dork” he teases as Y/N whacks his arm.  

Y/N is able to convince Fred to wait outside whilst she shops, grabbing a few different underwear sets and a plain black dress she makes her way to the changing room. After trying it all on she decides on a nice matching red lace set, keeping it simple and a beautiful black dress that highlights all the right places on her body. She pays quickly and meets Fred outside.  

He is stood writing in his little book, he looks up briefly and spots Y/N, “Godric you took your time, did you buy the whole shop?” Y/N giggles and shakes her head “guess you’ll find out when we are home” she winks, Fred reaches for the bag to take a peek and Y/N throws it in her bag. “Good luck trying to find that with muggles around”, Fred groans as they make their way into the next shop. Once they’ve gotten Fred a new shirt and jeans, they grab a bottle of wine and head home.

-

Whilst Y/N gets ready, Fred cleans the flat and sets the table, he heads into Diagon Ally and gets a beautiful bunch of sunflowers for the table. Y/N looks gorgeous, her hair falls beautifully down her back and her make up is done just the way she likes it, she radiated confidence and once she had her dress on, she looked incredible. Fred came into the room just as Y/N was putting on lipstick and his jaw practically hit the floor.  

“Wow...” Y/N turned in her seat and Fred couldn’t help but let his eyes roam over her body, she looked breathtakingly beautiful, “baby you look...wow” Y/N couldn’t help but blush under his gaze. She stood up walking towards him, “is it too much?” she asked worriedly, giving him a 360 turn.  

“You’re perfect”, Freds grin was stretched from ear to ear “I’m just quickly going to shower... don’t go anywhere, don’t need anyone stealing you off me...I’ll be right back just...just stay right here” he rushed around the room grabbing everything he needed, tripping over his bed and his own feet due to the fact he couldn’t keep his eyes off her. Y/N chuckles and finishes getting ready, spraying some perfume and putting on some earrings and her necklace.  

She stands in front of the mirror, pleased with her work, when something catches her eye. In a small tray beside Freds mirror was the ring he gave her all those years ago, the tray was covered in dust, but the ring shone beautifully. Y/N picked it up, holding it between her thumb and pointer finger, twirling it slightly before placing it back on her finger, it felt right having it on after all this time. She heard the shower stop and looked down to her hand, I wonder if he will notice. Deciding to keep it on she took her seat on the bed again.  

Fred came booming out, his towel wrapped around his waist, just below his V-line, the sight causing Y/N to heat up slightly. Of course, she had seen Fred like this since they got back together, and the sight was one she always enjoyed but tonight it filled her with a need so strong that she would have dropped her knickers there and then if Fred asked her too.  

“Careful love, you’re drooling” Fred winked at her as he got dressed. Y/N couldn’t help but roll her eyes, “you wish Freddie”, Fred could only smirk at the small blush that painted her skin.  

Fred recognised the look in her eye, there was a point in time where he knew her better that she knew herself, he was glad that he could still tell every little thing about her from her actions. He could see the neediness, but he wouldn’t tell her that, he wanted her to make the first move and god was he praying she would make it tonight.  

Once Fred was dressed, they made their way to the kitchen and started to cook together. Jokes were being cracked left, right and centre whilst they cooked, Y/N noticed Fred was being a lot more touchy than normal and she was loving it, it was like having the old Fred back. He would insist on wrapping his hands around her waist to make sure she was chopping the vegetables right or holding his hand around hers whilst she stirred the pasta.  

She decided to use this to her advantage, to see if she could get Fred all hot and bothered like she used to. Every time he wrapped his arms around her from behind, she made sure to push her arse back just a little bit more, she would make sure to run her hand down his arm when grabbing something close to him, ‘accidentally’ dropping things in front of Fred so she could bend over to get them – her arse being his point of view each and every time.  

Fred caught on pretty early but was enjoying the show he was getting so just let it play out, although he was thankful when Y/N announced their meal was ready because all of her teasing was making his jeans uncomfortably tight.  

They sat down at the table with Fred at the end and Y/N to the side so they could talk better. “Oh shoot, we forgot the wine” Y/N stood up to get it, but Fred took her hand guiding her back down, “it’s okay love, I’ll get it”. As Fred returned from the kitchen, he realised how obvious his not so little problem was, he tried to readjust but it made no difference. He stood pouring the wine and Y/N couldn’t help but smirk down at her plate.  

“Thank you, Freddie,” she smiled as he sat down, raising her glass to cheers once he was seated. Freds eyes were immediately drawn to her ring finger and the silver band that wrapped around it, he raised his glass to hers, a grin taking over his features before he took a sip of his wine. He took her hand in his once she put her glass down and started to play with the ring on her finger “you’ve got my ring on”.  

“Your ring?” she asks playfully “I thought it was mine” she winks. Fred pulls her in for a quick kiss, “it’s ours” he kisses her again before kissing her hand and placing it back down on the table. “Now let's eat”, they dig in and talk the night away.  

They’re sitting at the table with Y/N in Freds lap as they drink their wine, “so...I was thinking Freddie” Freds hand is tracing circles on her thigh and his eyes look up at her “it’s been a while since we...you know...had our fun” she internally slaps herself at her choice of words “and well...I was thinking that maybe, you know, since we have the flat to ourselves that we could...well you know”, Fred can’t help but smile down at his adorably nervous girlfriend.  

He wraps his arms around her and kisses her cheek “I’m sorry love but I have no idea what you mean” he teases “what is ‘our fun’?’” he feigns confusion.  

Y/N pouts up at him and his mocking tone, she knows it’s all in good fun, but she can't help her nerves...and her neediness. Pull yourself together. She turns in Freds lap, so she straddles him, her arms wrapping around his neck whilst she plays with the hair at the nape of his neck.  

“Well Freddie, I thought you were quite familiar with ‘our fun’” she mocks his tone at the last part. “You were very familiar with it at school, we did it practically everywhere” she pauses and kisses him before leaning towards his ear “it usually started with me having a mouth full of your cock before being bent over while you fucked me from behind”.  

A small groan left Freds mouth at her word, his hands gripping her waist, “but … I suppose if you don’t remember Freddie, I’ll just have to have the fun myself” and with that Y/N was up and moving towards the door to their bedroom. Fred took all of five seconds to compose himself before running up behind her and throwing her over his shoulder taking her into their room.  

Part 3 (18+)

[interstellarflowers]

Professor Parker Ch. 1| Professor, Peter Parker x Student, Reader

a/n this fic doesn’t follow the marvel cinematic universe but assume that peter has been what he’s been through with the exception that tony lived, and bruce is still bruce, sorry but i just can't deal with endgame hulk/bruce rn emotionally or mentally. im sorry nat is still dead but dw i'll actually treat it with respect unlike endgame like goddamn where was her funeral, am i right? the stages of grief thing they did was interesting though. im sorry i digress, this is set in nyc (because heyo im a new yorka) and the avengers/stark tower is still a thing, peter is fucking traumatized and has turned kind of cold as a result. this fic may contain a smut chapter in the future? not sure yet, where this fic goes depends on the feedback, thanks for reading also sorry im not the proudest of this first chapter so ill probably edit it but promise itll only improve from here just not in the best mental state rn

University life wasn’t exactly everything that you imagined it to be. There was hardly time to do anything that people claimed was good about coming to university. The parties, the epic heartbreaks, and romances, they were just nowhere to be seen. In fact, there was nothing particularly extravagant about your experience thus far. You went to class, studied, and went to your internship. Your internship was probably the most exciting thing about your life at the moment, you were lucky to be accepted into the Stark Industries student internship, the company paid college tuition and only required around twenty hours of lab work a week, you couldn’t complain. Of course, the exciting part of the whole ordeal was the name attached to it, “Stark,” not that you had ever met him, but it was nice to have a unique feature like that in such an impressive student body.

So here you were on the first day of your third year of university. You lived off-campus, about a five-minute walk from the Stark Tower, but a twenty-minute subway ride to your campus. However, having an 882 square foot space to yourself was really nothing you could truly complain about despite the distance. The studio apartment being yet another benefit reaped from Stark Industries. Thank you Tony Stark, the unseen benevolent God in your life.

Typically you would start your mornings off quietly and in no rush, a shower, a cup of coffee, maybe some studying before heading off to your campus, but your phone had other plans for you today. Instead of your alarm going off like it was supposed to, you were woken up by the sound of a particularly loud car horn, and oh how grateful you were for that. As soon as you were jolted awake you shifted to grab your phone and turned it over to see an alarming 8:40am glaring back at you.

Holy shit. You were late.

You scrambled out of bed nearly face planting several times in your hurry to get dressed and only barely ran out the door with everything you needed at 8:47am.

By the time you managed to get to the subway and clamor onto the right train it was already 8:55am. Out of breath and panicking, you considered your options. You could explain after class, you could shoot an email, there were a plethora of things you could do but none of them seemed to justify being late as a third-year to a level 500 class. You had googled all of your professors while registering for classes as was common practice. You couldn’t find a RateMyProfessor on Professor...Parker? You were pretty sure it was Professor Parker, but you do remember seeing on the STEM department page that he was currently a Ph.D. student, so you could only hope that as a fellow student he would be at least a little understanding towards your lateness.

You stood outside of the lecture hall huffing and trying to catch your breath at 9:32am, psyching yourself up, you pushed open the door to the class and attempted to go unnoticed. The class was in a lecture hall despite being only composed of around thirty students, so if you were lucky maybe nobody would even see-

“Ms.(y/l/n), I presume?.” Shit.

“Professor Parker?” Shit.

“You are aware that class starts at 9am, and not 9:30am, would this be correct Ms.(y/l/n)?”

“Yes, Professor, it’s just that I had an emergency.” The lying route. Not exactly the highlight of your academic career.

“I regret to inform you that I only take valid excuses Ms.(y/l/n), please take a seat, and next time, don’t bother disrupting class halfway through the lesson.” Fuck. You mustered a quiet “ok,” and a small nod before escorting yourself to the back of the room, thirty-something eyes following you until you sat down.

You couldn’t focus for the rest of the class, it was just too embarrassing, time moved forward but you couldn’t help but be stuck on what had just happened. For the first ten minutes after sitting down you felt like dropping out of the whole class out of sheer fucking humiliation. This was of course before you reminded yourself that this class was a requirement to graduate in your field of study. You quietly bargained with yourself before sighing quietly and settling on the conclusion that Professor Parker was just a dick. A dick who certainly didn’t deserve the satisfaction of you switching out of his class. If he wanted to be like that, you decided, you would simply return the favor.

“I know, Ms.(y/ln), why don’t you tell us DeBroglie’s equation?”

“With pleasure, Professor Parker.” Yeah, you’d return the favor alright.

“Ms.(y/l/n), you stay.” Fuck that. You looked the other way and feigned ignorance as you kept making your way towards the door. About to leave, the door shut on your face.

“What the fuck!” You jumped before turning around and you felt your face heat up.

“Ms.(y/l/n), please refrain from using profanities in my classroom.”

“I’m sorry Professor Parker. I was just startled.”

“Mhm,” he took his glasses off and laid them on his desk, “Just don’t do it in the future Ms.(y/l/n).”

“Of course. My name is (y/n), by the way, Professor Parker, you can just call me that, actually, I prefer that people refer to me by (y/n).”

“Rest assured, I’m aware of your name, Ms.(y/l/n). My name is Peter, but you can continue to call me Professor Parker.” You could have sworn that you saw a ghost of a smirk on his lips. He knew what he was fucking doing, asshole. You held back from rolling your eyes into the back of your head.

“Of course, Professor Parker.”

“As you know, Ms.(y/l/n), I did request that you stay after class.”

“Oh? I sincerely apologize Professor Parker, I really didn’t hear you.”

“I’m sure, Ms.(y/l/n).” Fucking. Dick.

“Well, what exactly did you want Professor Parker? I do have another class soon.” Professor Parker narrowed his eyes at you in obvious distaste before reaching behind himself into a bin underneath his desk and pulling out a stack of papers,

“These are the handouts you missed from the beginning of the class. Textbook requirements, syllabus...Crucial information to have if you care to succeed in my class Ms.(y/l/n).” So coldly, so maliciously, Professor Parker placed the stack into your arms.

“I take my work very seriously, Ms.(y/l/n), I do my part as your professor so I only have the simple request that my students do the same.” You nodded feeling your face heat up again.

“Of course, Professor Parker, it won’t happen again,” you said with a tightlipped smile.

“Mhm,” Professor Parker turned around and began shuffling around some paper and without giving you a second glance said, “You are dismissed.” You nodded and hurriedly made your way out of his classroom. Of course, you had lied. You didn’t have another class until late in the afternoon. So you called your coworker instead,

“Hey, Harvey.”

“(y/n).”

“Wow, okay, don’t get too excited.”

“Sorry, just woke up.”

“Tsk, the early bird gets the worm, Harvey.”

“I don’t want a worm.”

“Fuck you. I’m headed to the lab, can I expect you?”

“Yeah, yeah.” You had been working with Harvey for around four years now, he was quite the impressive specimen, having attended MIT and graduating Summa Cum Laude at age 20 was no easy feat, he was closer to Tony Stark than you would ever get, he was quite personable, and you couldn’t deny that he was quite good looking. You’d never tell him that though, he didn’t need another ego boost. Besides, you had some connections of your own.

“Hey, (y/n).”

“Banner!”

“Can we expect Harvey today?”

“Honestly, not sure.” You both knowingly smiled at each other before you made your way over to what he was working on,

“Do you ever get bored here?”

“With you and the other idiot always running around? How could I?” You laughed,

“No, seriously, like wouldn’t you rather be doing nerd shit with Tony or something? Isn’t it a little tiresome babysitting us?”

“Tiring? Maybe sometimes, but not nearly as tiring as doing ‘nerd shit’ with Tony. He’s exhausting,” Bruce smiled at his own joke, “I don’t mind playing babysitter at all kid.” He fiddled with the handle of a mug that read, “Don’t be so Na Cl,” which you had gotten him a year back as a joke, but he still used it.

You really loved Bruce for all he was. Since losing your family back in 2012 during the battle in NYC, you didn’t really have any familial figures. But since landing this internship you found yourself with a parental figure again, and you would never be able to put into words how much it meant to you, so you didn’t. Besides, you didn’t want him to feel pressured about it, especially after everything he had been through himself. Frying half your body and losing the love of your life in such a short span of time was really nothing less than horrifying. Yet, here he was, smiling, laughing...You loved him for it.

“First day of junior year? How was that?”

“Shit.”

“Huh?” Bruce stopped tinkering with the device in his hands and looked over at you, “I’ve never heard of a course being too hard for (y/n) (y/l/n), what is it? Aerospace? Quantum?”

“No, just one giant dick.”

“Pardon-”

“My professor, he’s a fucking asshole.”

“Ah, I see. If he’s really harassing you (y/n), I don’t mean to overstep, I really think we should alert administration, what’s his name?” Bruce took a sip of his coffee.

“Professor Parker,” Bruce choked on his coffee, “Oh my God, Bruce, are you okay?”

“Yeah-” he said, still coughing, “Just a little too strong.”

“Okay, are you sure?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Bruce caught his breath, “What did he do kid?”

“He’s just a dick that’s all.”

“You sure you don’t want me to do something about it?”

“Yeah, it’s fine, I don’t know what you could do anyways. Thank you though.”

“Actually, you’d be surprised.”

Sitting at your desk stressing over school work at 3am, it was nothing out of the ordinary for you. Everything appeared ordinary. The ordinary cup of tea, the familiar glow of your computer, and a morning chill creeping through your window. It was all so breathtakingly normal until there was a rap on your window. You took an earbud out of your ear, certain you were just hearing things, you looked to your window. Holy shit.

You opened your window wide so that he could crawl in.

“(y/n)?”

“Mr.Spiderman.” Still too in shock to fully process the situation you started to take in the scene in front of you,

“Please, it’s just Spiderman.”

“Oh-Oh my God, what happened?” Head to toe the suit seemed to have blood seeping through, tears in the body of the suit revealed gashes and a bullet wound.

“Bad guys. I know this guy-said he knew a medical student close by, you are (y/n)? Right?”

“Y-Yeah, but I’m really just a student, I’m not really a prof-”

“This guy, he said you might as well be.”

“I don’t know Mr.Spiderman, really, maybe I could take you to the hospital though.”

“-Spiderman, it’s just Spiderman, listen, (y/n), you know I can’t go to a hospital, it would ruin this whole secret identity thing I got going on here, and this guy, he’s probably the smartest guy I know, so if he says you can handle it, you can.” You swallowed and nodded,

“Yeah-” you wring your hands together, “Yeah-Sorry, let me go get my first aid kit.”

[gyucore]

long live the king

pairing: mage!hueningkai x noble!reader

tags: fluff, royalty au, friends to lovers, hueningkai can do magic

word count: 3.3k

prompts:

011: "May I have this dance?"

019: "I don't think anyone could ever be as lovely as you."

020: "You look incredible in that."

Tonight had been advertised as the night to end all nights— a masquerade ball held by the king at the palace, and a brightly lit ballroom decorated with gold and the continent's finest silk, adorning the kingdom's rose insignia. Entertainers and musicians positioned around the vicinity to perform their best acts and tunes, and the gates were left wide open to welcome everyone who wanted to join in, given that they tried their best to dress for the occasion.

Today was an event open to all the kingdom's citizens, from high seated nobles to common men by the streets, everyone was welcome to participate in the king's annual ball. However, that fact didn't matter for a family such as yours. Your father was the Marquess, which meant that you were invited to every single ball or gathering held by the nobility for the nobility. At least, that was how it had been until the incident.

The peering eyes of both the nobles and commoners alike have left you frozen on your spot by the pillar. Your bright red ball gown, although beautiful, was not helping you hide away from the eyes of the crowd. It was evident they were all thinking the same thing.

The unfortunate daughter of a fallen marquess.

News had gotten out about your family's crisis and had spread to the public like a disease. The Grand Marquess losing money, property, and power: The fall of a great noble. The story made headlines for weeks on end— rumors mixing in with the truth, and eventually, everyone had drawn the same conclusion. Pitiful.

You worry about your parents at the other end of the room, doing their best to mingle with the other nobles. The heavy atmosphere was weighing down on your chest.

Closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, you try to think of the things that calmed you down: the rustic smell of old books at the public library, the warm feeling you'd get when the rays of sunlight touch your skin as you sit by the window with your face buried deep into your favorite classic, the bright smile the common mage boy would give you everytime you crossed paths—

"Wow."

A familiar voice brings you back from your thoughts.

"You look incredible in that." The same bright smile you'd envisioned earlier now stood in front of you.

You gaze in awe at the man before you, dressed in what you could only describe as the most beautiful and elegant ensemble you'd seen tonight. The way the white suit hugged his waist left little room for the imagination. You doubt even the king himself could top this off.

"Lady Y/N. I believe fate must have brought us together in this fine evening." The man gently bends down, taking your hand and planting a kiss so fleeting that you barely felt it. Even with the golden mask on, you could easily tell who it was.

"Kai.."

"Ah, and here I was hoping I'd be a little more mysterious tonight." Kai holds back his laughter as he gazed upon you once more. You can't help but do the same.

Tonight, he looked nothing of a common mage but that of a king himself. If you hadn't known him beforehand, you would've mistaken him as so, especially with tonight's main event— the reveal of the king's successor. But alas, what the mage boy had going on for him was merely for appearances. A commoner like him could never be king in a world where even dreaming of becoming one was considered to be of highest absurdity.

"I thought you said you weren't attending?"

Kai shrugs, folding his hands behind his back. "And refuse my lady when you so graciously asked me out?"

His response catches you off guard. "I don't recall ever asking you anything of that sort."

"You asked if I'd attend."

"And that counts as asking you out?"

Kai chuckles. "When you asked me with such a cute look on your face, it was difficult to think you weren't looking forward to me being here."

And he was right. Given your circumstances, Kai being here with you was like a breath of fresh air. You'd been praying all night that he'd magically arrive to help you take your mind off of things, and you felt like crying out in joy when he actually did.

Kai looks around, seemingly getting a sense of the pressure you were in. "Shall we take a stroll around the garden, my lady?"

You follow his line of sight and spot the royal garden just outside the window. "I'll let you accompany me if you drop the whole my lady business."

Kai purses his lips as he takes your hand in his. "Can't you let me be fancy for one night?"

Every moment you'd spent with Kai up until this point had been the highlight of your days. As the daughter of the Marquess, you'd spent most of your time holed up inside your manor. Women barely got any education aside from the usual classes on manners and societal etiquette, and that included nobles as well. But that never stopped you. Once a week, when the guards changed shifts by the gate, and the maids and butlers were all busy with the weekly general cleaning, you'd take the opportunity to slip out in disguise, undetected by anyone. The main goal was to get to the public library and obtain access to educational material— ones that didn't involve any prim and proper rubbish that you've read over a thousand times.

The first time outside was rather difficult. You barely managed to get inside the library's more educational section while passing as a man. However, every succeeding attempt became easier and easier until coming out in secret and gaining access didn't seem like that much of a hassle anymore.

At the library, you were free to read any book you want, and used this opportunity to brush up on some business and economics as well as some of the basic sciences. You spent the first few months stocking up on knowledge until you felt it fine to relax a little and start reading novels to pass the time without the help of a disguise.

There was a section in the library that you hadn't checked; one that you'd deemed unnecessary as it only contained children's literature. It wasn't until you'd heard the sound of a man's voice followed by children's laughter that you felt compelled enough to take a peek.

"And then, the dragon swooped down onto the village and attacked the innocent villagers! ROARRR. Breathing fire as hot as, well, uh— FIRE!"

You slipped up and giggled at the young man's amusing narration, piping down a bit after realizing that he had noticed you from behind the shelves, throwing a knowing smirk your way.

It was then that he pulled down his cloak. Wavy brown locks gracefully reaching the back of his neck, bright eyes that could make any person let their guard down— he looked around your age which made you feel more at ease.

The young man steps back, dramatically breathing fire out of his mouth as the children cheered. Some were yelling at him to continue until only smoke came out, and you swore you heard one of them ask if he could make the fire turn green. Ridiculous, you think. But you were no different from these children, only being able to stand there in awe at the young man's trick. Perhaps turning the fire green wasn't such a terrible idea.

You've heard of mages among the commoners before, and had met a few that visited your manor but this was the first time you'd seen one in action. The flames that came out of his mouth looked awfully hot but the young man didn't even blink or showed any signs of pain.

He stops the fire and clears his throat, now kneeling down to face the children. "The villagers were worried sick! What would happen to their crops, their produce, their livelihood? If only a hero would come along and save them!" He makes an overly exaggerated wail before gasping.

"Well, who do we have here? A warrior has come to save the villagers!" The young man points at your direction and you feel your blood run cold as all the children in the room had turned their attention towards you, hopeful.

"A young maiden has arrived to slay the evil dragon!"

You quickly shake your head at his statement, holding your arms out in a cross. "No, kids. Don't believe what this man says. I am not a warrior, and I'm certainly not here to slay any dragons"

The young man raises a brow, getting up from his spot. "Then why do you have the magical sword that was forged to slay the mighty dragon?"

"What sword?"

The young man snaps his fingers. "That sword."

The weight on your hips dip on one side and you couldn't believe your eyes as a sheathed sword had magically manifested beside your waist out of thin air. "How did you— wait, is this a real sword?! You can't play around with real swords in front of children!"

The children turn towards the young man in confusion.

"Well, kids. Do you want the kind lady to slay the dragon with a real sword?"

"YES!" The children cheered.

The young man turns to you with a smile. "You gotta give the kids what they want, Miss."

An exasperated expression makes its way to your face. "I am not slaying any made up dragons!"

"Now, what's all this talk about slaying dragons?"

Taehyun, one of the stricter librarians, had come out of nowhere, surprising everyone. His eyes scan the room and quickly notices three things: (1) the dangerous sword hanging on your waist, (2) the excessive amount of children in the room when the sign on the way in definitely mentioned a capacity of only five, and (3) someone let the mage boy inside the library again. The culprit was evident.

"Jung Kai, I swear to the heavens I will—"

"Alright kids, time to go! We'll end the story next time!" The young man, Kai, rushes the disappointed children out of the section before they heard something they shouldn't.

You were about to walk away yourself but was quickly stopped by Taehyun's hand blocking your path. "Kai, didn't I tell you that you're not allowed to perform magic inside the library? And seriously," He confiscates the sword on your waist, holding it up in the air. "Violence?"

Kai looks at you and grins. "I suppose we could've gone with a more romantic ending. Something like the warrior's kiss saving the dragon from his curse, and he turns back into this super handsome, super cute, and super macho mage."

The way he shamelessly described himself left you speechless, and you steal a glance at the librarian who looked as equally disgusted as you are.

"Just clean up the mess before you leave. And that means you too, Miss Dragon Slayer."

"But I didn't even—" You cut yourself off after Taehyun dismisses himself from the room.

The section falls silent and Kai walks up to you, a smile ever present in his face. "I'm guessing this is the start of our new friendship?"

And that was what started it all. Everytime you'd visit the library after that, you seemed to bump into Kai more often than you liked. He saw through the disguise the first time he saw you wearing it and had promised to not utter a single word to anyone. The mage boy was much more reliable than he seemed to be, often helping you in your studies and teaching you more than the books ever could. Sometimes, he'd convince you to take a stroll around town and had shown you sights and wonders you wouldn't have expected to see inside the kingdom.

Before you knew it, Kai had become someone you'd cherished, and someone whose company you genuinely appreciated. He was patient and understanding as your makeshift mentor, and was this fun and outgoing guy whenever you two were out together. Kai became the first friend you'd made on your own regardless of status and the only friend you wished to keep by your side.

"I take it that the people in the ballroom were too much?" Kai speaks the moment arrived at the garden.

"Please. I couldn't even breathe in there." You play it off with a chuckle but thoughts of worry still plague your mind. "I'm guessing you probably know by now."

"About what? The fact that you're the daughter of the Marquess or that the Marquess has been in a crisis for a while?"

"Both."

Kai reaches for your hand, holding it reassuringly. "I've known for a while but that doesn't change anything now, does it? We became friends without the burden of our status, and we'll stay as friends regardless."

You hated this, hated how he always knew exactly what to say. The heat rushes up to your face and you squeeze his hand tighter, avoiding eye contact. "Thank you."

But truthfully, there was a little voice in Kai's head that wished you could be something more. Not after you'd shared those intimate moments alone at the library at dusk, not after he rushed in to catch you in his arms when you fell while shelving a book on the top shelves, and especially not after you almost shared a kiss after saying goodbye that night he'd helped you sneak back in.

Even now, as he lovingly gazed at your silhouette beneath the moonlight, he'd hoped that he'd have the chance to tell you how he felt. But then again, the chance could be right now at this very moment. The two of you were, afterall, at the king's ball.

"So, how were the gentlemen earlier?"

"What?" You raise your head to face Kai.

"I've no doubt that hundreds of people had been lining up to dance with you all evening." Kai grins as he gently lets go of your hand.

"Please, I haven't danced at all tonight."

"I find that quite hard to believe."

You sigh, recalling the events from earlier. "No one would want to be seen dancing with a fallen Marquess' daughter now would they?"

"Not when you look this beautiful?" Kai jokingly walks around you and you shy away from his gaze.

"You know I never say things I don't mean, Y/N." Kai bends down and holds your hands in his. "And believe me, I don't think anyone could ever be as lovely as you."

"Is flattery your main personality trait now?" You say as an attempt to not let his compliment affect you any further than it should but fail miserably so.

Kai stands before you with an unreadable expression. You'd argue this was the most serious look he's ever had since you'd met him.

"Care to dance?" Kai asks, leaning in closer, your faces merely inches apart. You feel your heart beating loudly in your chest, and you're almost afraid he might hear.

The moonlight casts a shadow on Kai's face, and despite the darkness, his eyes glistened, reflecting your own as you stared into his. You've never seen anyone look so beautiful. And here he was, telling you that you're the loveliest person he's ever known.

"Right now?"

Kai nods, taking off his mask and tossing it over to the side. "And I'd like it if we could dance without our masks too. I've been wanting to get a good look at your face all night."

You chuckle, removing your mask and tossing it to to the ground next to his. "And how do you suppose we dance without music? My reputation's already dirt at this point and I do not want to be branded as the crazy noble dancing at the royal garden in complete silence."

Kai fails to suppress his laughter, holding on to your shoulder to maintain himself upright. "Well, I wouldn't want to let my dear lady look crazy now would I?"

"And what are you planning to do?"

"Well, I am a mage." Kai smirks as he manifests a scepter out of thin air, leaving a trail of golden dust flurrying down.

This was the first time you've ever seen it in person. Kai had mentioned how he needed the aid of his scepter to perform high level magic, but he'd never taken it out in front of you until now. One look at the scepter and anyone could tell not just any old mage owned the darn thing. It looked majestic by all means, intricately decorated with gold and topped off with a brightly colored red gemstone you couldn't seem to identify. You'd heard that mages often created their own unique gemstones as a manifestation of their mana but for Kai's to be red, which had been said to be a quite powerful variant, made you wonder just how powerful your friend had been.

"And here we go." Kai takes the scepter in his hand and drives it into the ground. The impact causes a wave of light to burst from the scepter and spread throughout the reaches of garden. In a split-second, the wave of light rushes back into its source, compressing into a huge orb of light lifting up into the sky, rivaling the moon with its glow. The orb splits into smaller pieces and starts to dance around the garden, leaving you in awe at the spectacle.

Kai finds himself grinning from ear to ear at your reaction. He'd studied magic as an expression of rebellion against his father but now, he'd found another purpose to perform these little tricks of his. He places his hand on your waist and pulls you closer. "Wait for it."

The orbs of light find their places around you, slowly taking the shape of various instruments you've seen inside the ballroom, from strings to percussions, and even wind instruments. Smaller pieces of light continued to hover the surroundings, resembling glowing fireflies in the dark.

"Kai, this is beautiful." You look up at the young man, and he steps away, bowing his head as he plants yet another kiss on the back of your hand.

"May I have this dance?"

His eyes meet yours and you feel your heart skip a beat. It was rather difficult to explain. The Kai in front of you right now had been the same Kai you've always known, but somehow.. different.

You raise your hand for him to take, guiding your other hand to find perch on his shoulder, and his finding its place on your waist. With the first step, the instruments started playing. It's a piece you've heard before, one that Kai had fondly hummed nearly everytime you were together at the library.

It was as if the world had faded into the distance, and at this moment, there was only you and him, dancing alone in the garden. He pulls you close, his hold gentle and warm. Kai spins you around. The heel of your shoe collides with a rock, and you nearly stumble back until Kai manages to grab you by the waist on time, pulling you back into his arms.

You spot the smirk on his face under the moonlight, and you press a finger against his lips. "Not one word."

"I wasn't going to say anything." Kai lets you go, and you quickly grab a hold of his arms to find balance.

"Of course you weren't."

"Well, I do have something I have to tell you. A few things, actually."

You cock a brow at him, and he steps forward. "I'll tell you the most important part first."

"And that is?"

Kai reaches out to cup your cheeks, gazing into your eyes as if asking permission. You didn't need to say anything for him to understand, and he closes the gap between you, pressing his lips against yours. The feeling was foreign but certainly welcome, and you soon close your eyes and reciprocate, wanting to feel more of his soft lips, and wanting to hold him closer and closer.

For long had you held out on this, on actually acknowledging your growing feelings for the lad in fear of having to live with the thought of him not feeling the same. But in this moment, you felt a heavy burden being lifted from your shoulders.

"Kai, I.."

The light from the orbs dim down and soon dissipates. Kai pulls away, gazing upon your flushed face. "You mean the world to me, Y/N. I don't think my life would ever be the same without you."

The trumpets blare in the ballroom, a signal that the new king was to make an appearance soon. You feel Kai's hand around yours. "As for my other confession, I think it's best we head back first."

He leads you back into the ballroom, and disappears the moment you find your parents in the crowd. You join them in the center as everyone gathers to get a glimpse at the new king.

The herald makes his way beside the grand staircase, straightening himself up to make the announcement that every citizen had been waiting to hear all evening.

"Presenting the next in line to the throne, to rule the vast lands of our esteemed nation, and lead us into a continuing era of prosperity! Our future King, His Royal Highness, Kai Kamal Huening!"

The doors open, revealing Kai, your Kai, adorned in the royal family's crest, robes, and jewelries as he made himself known to his loyal subjects.

Behind him was public librarian, Kang Taehyun, who had been revealed to be serving as one oc the King's advisors, and now, for the new monarch.

"Long live the King!"

Kai could pick out your from the crowd in a heartbeat, hos gaze meeting yours as he flashes you his signature smile. You couldn't believe what was happening— Kai, your best friend in the whole world, had just confessed his love to you. And now, that same Kai had revealed to you and to the public that he had been the future ruler of the country all along. The crowds cheered.

"Long live the King!"

"Long live the King." You whisper to yourself, wondering what the future has in store for you.