#write and translate is a double job but worth it

[unknownhomosapien]

Reverse!AU first chapter!

There are two versions of it: original (russian) and translation by my friend @mekonfoy.

But next chapters gonna be posted separately from each other, one early, one - some time later. If someone doesnt wanna wait, you can use google translator, but i cant promise an accuracy of it.

I would be happy to hear feedback, cause it's my first fime writing fics this long 👉🏼👈🏼

Second chapter on a way. Enjoy!

[queenendless]

💜❤️‍🩹Because You Live (Toji Fushiguro x Adult!Fem!Reader)❤️‍🩹💜

A/n: It finally happened ... wtf? Blame Sage's Rain on YT and his Toji video for making me feel so bad for Toji.

Its my first time writing just Toji stuff and it may not be the best but I got inspired and needed to put something out so there!

Also why is Because You Live by Jessie McCartney seems like the theme for Megumi's parents? Listen to it while reading this if you want.

Credit to yeagernx on Pinterest for these edited pins.

DON'T PLAGIARIZE, STEAL, COPY, TRANSLATE MY FANFIC CONTENT. REBLOG, LIKE AND FOLLOW INSTEAD PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

Toji's rough heart pounded against his sturdy chest.

In their small urban apartment family room, his giant burly form leaned against the archway as he peered down, his narrowed eyes softening at the sight before him.

The decent sized TV screen played lowly in the background, showcasing a random movie, serving as the only light he used to move through the room. The family room's floor was draped with comforters and blankets of the plush variety. Many fluffy soft pillows accompanied them. His two kids noggins used you as their personal pillow.

Tsumiki's cheek nuzzles your side as she squeezed her white dog plushie in one arm while Megumi was tucked against your other side as he pinned his black dog plush between you and himself.

You were on your back, your mouth slightly agape, as you softly snored, drool trailing down the side of your mouth.

Toji snorted out a dry chuckle.

For most of his life, he was the Invisible Man.

To topple the society that his family prided on to the point of abusing and torturing him over for not amounting to their standards and beliefs, he became the Sorcerer Killer.

After losing his wife; the first love of his life that made him believe he was worth so much more than what his family's hatred conditioned in him, he felt himself succumbing to those very demons of his former life.

Barely able to sustain a suitable life for his son; his blessed gift from his late mother.

Having a daughter now to add to the family bundle; her mother dumping her on him when she had the chance then bolted.

Taking any job he could to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table, stuck in a shitty neighborhood with no other options.

So how …

How did you wind up smack dab in the middle of it all?

From an infamous disturbed creep stalking and following his kids on their way home from school one afternoon to you reporting the incident before as his attempts to nab Tsumiki resulted in Megumi's shadow technique nearly swallowing the bastard alive when you knocked them out by a smack with that stray metal pipe you scrounge up by the litter around.

Tsumiki trusted you, feeling indebted to you for saving them. A skeptical Megumi didn't sense the same inkling of dread from you that the now arrested man had.

But when you saw Toji Fushiguro stroll up through the apartment door, he was a bit baffled to see you in their cramped living room, sitting on the floor while braiding Tsumiki's hair as she and Megumi watched anime on their small TV.

You were smitten by the giant burly man as you explained what occurred and the short version of your backstory.

Your father bailed on you and your mother recently passed away in her sleep, which forced you to sell the only home you've ever known. Wandering the streets with all you could take with you. Saving two kids you didn't know at all but knowing a monster when you saw one that day.

Toji offered you to live with them as thanks for saving his kids when he couldn't as well as in exchange for watching over them when he was out doing whatever money making task was available to him.

Why would he take a chance on you, a practical stray?

Well …

Obviously he had Shiu do a background search on you over the phone that very same day to double check your story. When it all does check out, he feels a bit of weight lift off his broad shoulders.

Plus …

He saw glimpses of his first love in you.

Even your smile gave him glimpses of his late wife. But you weren't her.

He thought no one could fill in the void she left behind.

Making it that much harder to live the simple life and raising kids that he felt was out of his element.

But at that moment, seeing your relieved overjoyed smile breaking out across your face when he said you could stay, it already began filling in the cracks his heavy heart bore.

He noticed the endeared affection you bore in your gaze for his rugrats as trickles of sunset hit your figure through the slips of the blinds and curtains.

He wouldn't admit it straight out at the start of this new journey, but you glowed like an angel.

Over time, as days turned to weeks then turned to months, those hard kept emotions within him became unbridled at the seams.

Walking his kids to and from school, making their lunches, cleaning up around the place, finding part time jobs here and there that helped pay the bills, being greeted warmly by you every time he came home, finding you winding down after tucking the babies to bed.

One late night of such endeavors leading up to it found him spotting you laying on the couch, partially awake to the sound of his heavy footsteps when you felt warmth overtake you as he kissed you tentatively on the lips.

Watching your e/c eyes fluttering open up at him made him want to press further. To feel you slowly, tenderly returning the kiss only drove him to get down on his knees as his burly arms wrapped around your waist, pressing his strapping chest against your soft chest, submerged in your sweet scent and you drowned in his overwhelming warmth.

Your hands weaved up those sculpted arms and brushed his nape to his shivering delight, your fingers curled through his hair, bringing his face in closer as your heavy sighs and flustered whimpers made the growling beast want to nip on those lips before his tongue clashed with yours, swallowing you whole.

In his once clouded, now desperate eyes, he didn't want to let you go. To him, you're beautiful, inside and out. Literally, the beauty to his beast.

“I want you, angel. Be mine.”

You could barely think coherently as you pulled away from those addicting lips of his.

“Only when you quit the gambling and get your act together. Help me find a better place to raise them. Be there for them … do it for them … please?”

Unlike Shiu's stern lectures on quitting his gambling routines because he was just that bad at it when it comes to luck, the way your pleading eyes and pouting lips made a long forgotten sensation rise in him.

The willingness to forsake his pride.

To do what was best for all instead of dwindling it all away.

What was best for his kids … what he wanted … if you wanted that too —

“Okay.”

His deep, breath stealing kiss made your toes curl and your form fit perfectly with his own as he laid down with you, moving about until he laid flat on his back with you splayed out on top of him on your tummy.

On that night, he gained a new light in his life, cocooning you in his brawny grasp, nodding off together on the couch.

In this cursed world, he had been giving a new blessing.

A second chance.

Flash forward back to the present.

In your new shared apartment; finding one with help from Shiu, in a safer part of the urban setting, just a stroll away from the kids school, and with a great view of the now starry sky.

Brushing back your loose hair strands, your quiet whimper at the sensation made him smirk before kissing your forehead. “Hey.”

You yawned a bit. “Welcome home.”

“Now what's going on here?” Toji asked as he grabbed the remote to turn off the TV.

“Slumber party. Fushiguro Edition.” You mumbled, knowing his superhuman hearing could pick it up.

Toji snorted before ruffling Megumi's head gently. "Ya want to get them to bed or …?”

“Too comfy … and sleepy … to move.” You quietly whined.

“Then make room for Papa Bear, Mama Bear.”

You giggled at his gruff response, cradling Megumi as Toji carefully lifted Tsumiki out of your grasp to lay her on his chest instead of having her crushed between you both. With his veiny giant hand resting on the small of her back and his other jacked arm wrapping around your shoulders to bring you flush against his side.

Seeing Tsumiki smile and snuggle into his chest made you softly cooed to which a blushing red Toji shushed you despite his grinning face.

“Go back to sleep, you.”

You leaned in to smooch the scar on the side of his mouth. “Night Toji.” Using his shoulder as your pillow now, you easily fell back asleep.

The moonlight trickled through the gaps of the curtains, serving as the only light now. Eyeing his small family in his hold, Toji felt himself unwinding, his sleepy head plopping against yours.

He pressed a drawn out kiss to your forehead, yawning as well, welcoming a good night's rest. With all of you.

“Night … Y/n.”

[bteezxyewriter12]

Be Mine

Pairing- Hobi x Named Reader

Word count- 4.6k

Includes- Fingering, oral, pussy eating, blow job, deepthroating, cum eating, marking, riding, missionary, multiple orgasms, fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole @meowmeowminnie @realisticnotes @effielumiere @svnbangtansworld @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny @marvelfamily3000 @amyz78 @blueie-things

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝BTS Masterlist 📝Hobi Masterlist

Hobi POV

I stare at her

I can’t keep my eyes off her

She’s not even doing anything special, just sitting in my room at the dorm surfing the web

It’s just me and her here.

The guys went out to eat.

They asked me if I wanted to go and I did but I’m so far behind in writing my lyrics for our new songs that I decided to stay

She said she’d keep me company

So we’re in my room, me on my bed with my notebook and her at my computer

I can’t concentrate

I can never concentrate when she’s in the room

She’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met

She’s short and beautiful

Her black hair is long and her dark brown eyes always shine

She has a tattoo sleeve on her right arm and scattered tattoos on her left.

She also has double eyebrow rings on her right eyebrow, which I hate on everyone else but love on her

Her personality is nothing like I’ve see either.

She’s feisty and doesn’t take anyone’s shit.. She proved that the minute she walked into our photo shoot and was announced as our new makeup artist three years ago.

She came in looking tough and honestly scary.

That day Yoongi was in a bad mood.

When he made a snarky comment in English about BigHit being desperate that they hired an American makeup artist she snapped back.

“Really? I don’t see your qualifications to determine what makes a good makeup artist. From what I see BigHit did everything to make this job worth my while because of my skill. I left an amazing job on "The Walking Dead” to put make up on singers and rappers. And I don’t need lip from said rappers and singers on some thing they have no idea about. So how about you stick to rapping and let me handle my job?“

Then she started talking in Spanish.

To herself I guess.

All of us had our mouths hanging open in surprise.

Surprised that she had the guts to answer Yoongi back.

Usually no one says anything to us.

Yoongi looked just as surprised and pissed off.

I don’t know if he understood what she said.

I got parts of it but anyone can tell by the tone of her voice and her body language she was pissed.

"Look I really don’t care how famous you are. I don’t take shit from anyone and I don’t let people walk all over me. If you respect me, I’ll respect you ten times over and will bend over backwards for you or to help you. If you fuck with me, be prepared to get fucked back.”

“Well then, I promise not to fuck with you”, Namjoon said

She nods

“I was told to do Yoongi, Hoseok and Jungkook’s makeup?”

“Yea Yoongi’s the one who made the comment.”, Namjoon says

“Great I’ll start with him”, she smirks

Namjoon translated every thing she said and Yoongi paled.

After that none of us gave her a problem and were afraid to talk to her at first.

But after awhile Namjoon started talking to her since he spoke fluent English.

And she was friendly and nice

Turns out she meant what she said.

If we were nice and respected her she reciprocated ten times over.

Even Yoongi apologized and they were cool.

She became one of our best friends

She is tough but once you get to know her she’s very loving, caring, funny and sweet.

Just don’t get her angry because then there will be hell to pay.

And when she starts going off in Spanish, it’s best to steer clear

So I’m in love with her

I fell for her the second she walked into that photo shoot

So imagine my disbelief when I found out that she slept with Namjoon and Yoongi.

Apparently, as they say, because she didn’t tell me, they did, it was only a one night stand.

Namjoon was teaching her Korean since she moved here three years ago.

She wanted to learn and he really was the only one who could help her since he spoke English and Korean.

She picked it up quickly and studied a lot to become better.

She basically fluent in speaking it and getting better at reading it

Namjoon told me that it happened one night while he was quizzing her in Korean.

He just kissed her and it went from there

The same with Yoongi.

She was in his studio.

He wanted to play the song he was working on and get her opinion.

While she was leaning over him as he explained the song on the computer and looking at the screen,

Yoongi said he stood up and kissed her.

It wasn’t planned and neither was the sex.

It just happened.

All this happened the first year she was here and hasn’t happened since.

She didn’t sleep with any of the other members and she doesn’t have a boyfriend.

I just found this out a few weeks ago when Namjoon let it slip.

Of course I’m pissed off and jealous but she’s not my girlfriend.

She can do what she wants

I wonder why she never slept with me though.

We’ve been alone together a lot of times.

We’ve fallen asleep together and cuddled during movies.

I’ve held her hand, kissed her cheek and nothing, not even hinted she was interested.

And I can’t help but wonder if it’s something about me.

Is something wrong with me?

Or does she just not want me?

These are the thoughts in my head as I watch her

She giggles at something on the computer

I love her laugh.

I can listen to it all day

She catches my gaze and smiles at me

“You ok Hobi? Having trouble?”

“Uh, yea a little.”, I answer, looking away embarrassed at getting caught looking at her

“You want help?”

“No, I’m good thanks”

“Ok. Let me know if you want any help though”, she says

“I will”

She turns her attention back to the computer

I want her.

I’m not gonna lie.

I thought about what sex would be like with her a million times

I love her but I know she doesn’t love me.

Not like how I love her

But if the only thing I can ever get is one night with her, then I want it.

So I decide to go for it

“Uh Jo?”, I ask

Yeah Hobi?”, she turns her attention to me

“Would you uh, I mean do you..”, I stammer

Fuck

I can’t do this

“What Hobi?”

“Uh nevermind”, I mutter

“C'mon Hobi. Tell me, you can tell me anything”, she urges

Fuck

Fine

I look down at the floor

“Do you uh want to have sex with me?”

Silence

I should of known.

I shouldn’t of ever asked

“Neverm-”, I start to say right as she said, “Yes”

“Wait what?”, I asked surprised

“Yes Hobi. I want to”, she says blushing

“You do?”

I’m totally caught off guard

“Yes. I’ve wanted to for awhile”, she answers turning redder

“Seriously?”

She nods

I can’t help it, I smile at her.

She wants me.

I’ve never been more happy.

She gives me a small smile then comes over where I am on my bed.

She climbs on my lap, one leg on each side of me, straddling me, my hands going to her waist

Holy shit

This is really happening.

She looks at me and smiles, reaching up and touching my cheek, looking in my eyes

I stare at hers, drowning in the beautiful brown of her eyes

Her hand goes in to my hair and she runs her fingers through it a few times

I close my eyes and shiver from her touch.

When I open them, I see her watching me

Then she leans in closer and presses her lips to mine.

The second they touch mine, heat runs though my body and stars explode in my vision.

I’ve never felt this way when being kissed.

By anyone

I pull her closer to me and deepen the kiss.

She opens her mouth for me and I slide my tongue in, caressing hers

Fuck she taste sweet

She kisses me harder, her tongue sliding on mine, her hands flying up to my hair.

I groan when she tugs on my hair

“Hobi”, she moans, making me harder than I was before.

“Hobi, I want you now”, she whispers

I want her now too

My hands grab the hem of her shirt and I pull it over her head, my lips reattaching to hers the second the fabric is over her head.

My hands start touching her all over

She grabs my shirt and takes it of me while I unclasp her bra, taking it off.

I turn and roll so she’s on the bed on her back.

Sitting up, I finally look at her

Fuck, her body is so sexy

I see things I never knew she had and just stare.

She has her belly pierced which is such a turn on.

She also has a tattoo on her side that I’ve never seen.

It's large and takes up her entire right side of her torso and ribs.

I run my hand down it and she trembles at my touch

She has huge breasts, that are perfectly circular and her nipples are hard.

And both of them are pierced

Fuck

That’s hot

I look at her and see the that she’s looking at me and my body the same way I’m looking at her.

I like that she’s looking at me like that.

It’s nice to have someone do that

To everyone else, I’m the funny, adorable sunshine J-Hope.

I’m almost never called hot or sexy as much as Jungkook, Tae, Jimin and Yoongi are.

I’m cute and adorable, not hot or sexy

But the way she's looking at me, like I’m the sexiest thing in the world, makes me happy.

She reaches up and touches my abs and then chest muscles that I happen to have now.

I’m glad I can be with her before they inevitably go away.

It’s hard to keep abs on my body

“You’re so fucking hot”, she whispers

“I have abs now”, I reply

She gives me a weird look then sits up

“Hobi..I don’t care about abs, if you have them or not”, she says

“You don’t?”

“No Hobi. Having abs doesn’t make you hot. The way you are, you’re personality, how funny you are, how sweet and caring and lovable, those things make you hot. The fact that you’re beautiful and have an amazing body, abs or not, is just a bonus.”, she explains

“I..I….”, I stutter

I can’t believe she’s saying this.

She’s the best girl I’ve ever known

“Anyone who cares about abs or looks is superficial and doesn’t deserve you. You have the best personality and that’s why I fell in love with you, not because of stupid abs.”, she says

I nod, freezing, realizing what she just said

She’s in love with me?

She feels the same?

Is this a joke?

Cuz it’s too good to be true

“You….You’re in love with me?”, I whisper

Her eyes widened, like she just realized what she said

“I..uh…I”, she stutters looking around

Then she sighs and mumbles, “Fuck it”

She looks back at me and says, “Yes Hoseok, I’m in love with you. I have been for the past two years”

I’m completely shocked and elated that she said this

“I know you don’t feel the same, and I was never going to tell you-”, she starts

“You’re wrong”, I tell her

“What?”, she asks confused

“You’re wrong. I do feel the same. I’m in love with you too. I have been since the second you walked in the photo shoot and told Yoongi off, three years ago.”, I confess

“Are you being serious? This isn’t a jokeright?”, she asks worried, “Because if it is it’s really not funny”

“No Jo. It’s not a joke. I love you”, I tell her

I can’t believe this is happening.

I’m getting the girl of my dreams.

If I ask her that is

“So does this mean you can be mine?”, I ask suddenly shy

“Yes Hobi. I want that very much”, she smiles

I feel my face break out in to a smile

I grab her and kiss her like I’m never going to let her go

Because I’m not

She kisses me back just as fiercely

I break the kiss and kiss down her neck to her collarbone, then to her shoulders.

She’s finally mine.

I’m so happy

I gently push her back so she’s laying down again

“I want to make my girl feel good”, I whisper to her

“Hobi”, she sighs

“Shhh Baby. I want to. Will you let me?”

She nods.

I’ve never felt like this with sex before.

I honestly don’t care about me or even if I cum tonight.

I just want to make her feel good and make her cum over and over

However I can

With every other person I just wanted to orgasm and then that was it.

Yeah I made sure they did too, I’m not an asshole.

I think I’ve only gone down on one girl.

But I can’t wait to do it to her

I want to make her shake and moan and scream in pleasure.

I want to watch her cum over and over.

I want to feel it.

And if I do, great.

But it’s not a priority this time

I pull at her shorts and slowly take them off.

She’s wearing some lacy panties thing that doesn’t cover anything and instead of taking it off, I just rip it off her body

“Fuck Hobi, that’s so hot”

I smirk at her, then open her legs.

I look down at her and see she’s so wet.

Fuck.

It’s one of the best sights I’ve seen in my life

“Baby is that for me?”, I ask

She nods

“Do I make you this wet?”

She nods again

I touch her and she jumps

“It’s ok baby relax”, I say

Slowly I push two of my fingers in her pussy and she moans.

Fuck, she feels so goddamn tight.

I start to move my fingers in and out and she groans

God I love the sounds she’s making

After a few minutes I take my fingers out and move them to her clit.

I start rubbing and massaging her and she yells out in pleasure.

I keep touching her until she starts shaking

“Are you going to cum baby?”

She nods

“Good girl”

She shouts out as she cums

I watch her pussy as she does, watching her cum soak my sheets.

Holy shit.

I’ve never be so turned on so much.

And my first thought is: I want it in my mouth

So I lean down and lick her cum off her

Shit

Fuck

It tastes so good, so sweet and I want more.

I move her to the edge of the bed, then I kneel on the floor

“Hobi”, she says

“Shh. I want to lick you.”

“Hobi”, she says again as I lick her from the bottom of her pussy to her clit

“Fuck”, she screams

I move my tongue all around her, swirling around, up and down.

I flick her clit with the tip of my tongue and she screams so loudly

So that’s where she likes it most.

I put my mouth around it and suck

“Ahhhh”, she yells

Is that where you like it baby?”

“Yeah Hobi, fuck right there, don’t stop”, she whines

“Ok I won’t baby”

Then I suck her clit hard and she cries out

“God Hoseok!”

I keep playing with her clit in my mouth and she gets louder and louder

“I want you to cum”, I tell her, “Can you do that for me?”

“Yes fuck yes Hobi”

I lick her rapidly and I feel her getting closer

I hit the spot she likes on her clit and she screams, “Hoseok!”

She cums in my mouth and I can’t get enough of it.

I swallow it and go back to lick more.

I’ll never get tired of the taste of her

She’s screaming, “More Hobi, more, don’t stop, please don’t stop. More”, as she slides her hand into my hair and pulls

Fuck I love when she pulls my hair.

She wants more and I give it to her.

She cums again, then again and then a fourth time.

And each time I lick up her cum like it’s candy.

Because to me it is

She relaxes a little but I want more

“I want more baby. Please, I gave you more, can I have more?”

“Mm..mm..more what Hobi?”

“More of you’re cum.

It tastes so good and I want it in my mouth”

“Fuck Hobi, that’s fucking hot” she moans

“Can I have more?”, I ask again

I’m not asking to be hot, I really want more

“You can have as much as you want baby”, she replies

I look up at her and she’s smirking

Two can play that

“Good because I want a lot”

Then I go back to licking and sucking.

I get her to cum two more times and I’m working on the third time, when I get an idea of something I want to try as she cums

I hear her moaning louder and louder and I know she’s about to go.

Right before she does, I slide my tongue inside her pussy and move it around

“Hoseok” she screams and this time her cum soaks my tongue as her pussy clenches and pulls it

I moan at the taste and sensation.

I only take my tongue out when she relaxes and lets go of it

“Fuck Hobi, that was…fuck..”, she says

I smile at her

“You’re amazing with your tongue baby”

“Thanks. I’ve only done that once so its nice to hear I’m good at it”

“No shit only once? You’re like a pro”, she praises

“Yeah well I didn’t like doing it so I stopped quickly”

“Oh Hobi. If you don’t like doing it then you really don’t have to”, she says looking concerned

“No Jo. I didn’t like doing it to her. I love doing it to you. I can eat you out all day”, I smirk

“Are you sure?”, she asks looking doubtful

Positive. Why would I beg you for more if I didn’t like it?”

“I guess”

“I promise you Jo, I love doing it to you.

"Ok Hobi.”

She smirks at me

Then she tackles me and pins me under her.

She kissed my neck and I moan from how good it feels.

I can never get enough of her kisses

“Now I’m gonna make you feel good”, she says

“You don’t-”, I start but she puts her fingers on my lips

“No Hobi. I want my boyfriend to be satisfied. What kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn’t?”

Her boyfriend.

That’s me.

I’m her boyfriend.

I’m still in awe of that.

That she’s mine and I’m hers

She leans down and kisses me, her tongue in my mouth.

I moan and as she pulls away she grabs my bottom lip with her teeth and gently bites

Fuck

That’s amazing

“I like to bite Hobi. Is that ok?”

“Yes, yes!” I moan so turned on, “You can bite me anywhere”

She kisses my body, gently nibbling on me but when she gets to my bicep she bites down harder and I groan in pleasure

It doesn’t hurt, it feels good

She continues kissing me down my body, her hands pulling at my pants.

She sits up and in one motion pulls my boxers and pants off

“Fuck Hobi”

“What?”, I ask, leaning up and seeing her stare at my dick

“You’re so big. Bigger than anyone I’ve been with”

Really?

For some reason that makes me really happy.

She’s still staring at it, while she licks her lips absentmindedly.

I almost cum from watching that and I know some pre-cum probably came out.

She doesn’t even have to touch me to get me to orgasm

It amazes me how my body responds to her.

And how hers responds to me.

I watch as she leans over and licks me from the base to the tip.

God

Fuck

She wraps her mouth over my cock and she sucks hard

“Shit”, I cry out

She starts moving her head fast, sucking and licking at the same time.

She moves up and massages the underside of my head with her tongue

“God that feels amazing baby!”, I yell

Then I watch as she leans all the way down and takes my full length in her mouth, deep throating me

Holy shit

That’s fucking amazing.

She sucks and I feel my cock all the way in her throat.

I’m very surprised that she doesn’t gag, she just keeps on sucking.

She lets go and looks at me

“Fuck my mouth Hobi”

“Wha..what?”

“Fuck my mouth. I want you to fuck me hard as you can. I want to feel your cock slide in and out of my throat.”

“I..uh..I”, I say incoherently, so fucking turned on

“Please?”, she asks and I nod

She takes me half way in her mouth and waits.

I snap my hips up and I feel my dick hit the back of her throat and go down a little farther

“Fuck!”, I shout as she moans

I start moving, in and out of her throat and it feels incredible.

She’s moaning while I do it.

I slide my hand to touch her pussy and feel that she’s all wet again.

Holy shit she likes this.

My other hand grabs her hair and wraps it in a ponytail around my hand and I can’t help but pull everytime I move

I feel her sucking as I move and before I know it I’m screaming her name, coming down her throat.

I feel her swallowing and it pulls on my cock, making me cum more.

I collapse when I’m done and she sits up.

“Damn Hobi”, she says, “You taste really good baby.”

I look at her and smile

She smiles, then looks down and says, “You’re still hard”

“Yeah”

She climbs on top of me, hovering above me.

I feel her wetness slide down on my cock and I get turned on again.

I could have sex with her all day

“You want it Hobi?”

“Yes, baby, I want it”, I answer

“Ok”

She slides down onto my cock, so fucking tight and I groan as she does.

Then she starts bouncing hard and I yell out.

She tightens her pussy around me as she moves and the pleasure increase

God she knows how to work me.

I grab her hips and slam her down on me, going in so deep.

She cries out, throwing her head back and her body arching towards me.

I sit up a bit and I kiss her stomach, sucking on the skin and making a hickey on her

“Yea Hobi, mark me up, so everyone knows I’m yours”, she moans

I give her a few more hickeys on her stomach, her moaning for each one.

I lie back down and thrust my hips up so that we both meet when she’s coming down.

We both yell out and go faster

“Fuck baby you’re pussy takes my cock so well”, I shout

“Yeah baby, your cock belongs in me. Just yours and only yours”, she whines

“Yeah this is my pussy, mine to fuck, my to eat”, I growl

“Fuck Hobi!”

“Cum on my cock baby. I want to feel you pull on my cock like you did on my tongue”

She listens and as soon as I finish talking she cums on me, pussy tightening and squeezing as she screams my name

I keep slamming her on me, yelling, “Scream my name louder baby. I wanna hear you scream louder!”

“HOSEOK! HOSEOK!”, she shouts and she cums again

I slide out and roll her over on her back.

I grab legs and open them wide pounding back into her.

My bed hits the wall over and over as I ram my cock deep inside her.

I want her to cum again.

I love feeling the way her pussy grabs my cock and doesn’t let go.

I hear the door to downstairs open.

The guys must be back but we’re too far gone to care.

I slam her and shout, “Who fucks you this good?”

“You, Hobi, you!”, she screams

“Seriously?”, I hear someone downstairs

I keep fucking her as I lean down and suck on her skin leaving marks on her neck, her breasts, her shoulders, her chest, so everyone knows she’s mine.

Just like she wants me to.

I suck on her nipple and I feel her clench me.

I get back up, still ramming her hard, feeling her getting ready

“Scream baby, let everyone know who makes you feel this good, who makes you cum this hard”

“Hobi!”, she screams and I feel her cum

“Louder!”, I command

“HOSEOK, fuck, yes, HOSEOK”

I look down and as I’m moving in and out of her, I see my cock covered with her cum.

It’s so fucking hot to see

“Who is he with?”, someone else asks

“We’re not done baby”, I tell her

“Yes Hoseok, yes more! More! I want more baby!”, she yells

I put her legs on my shoulders and I get up on my knees.

From this angle I can hit her deeper.

I slam my cock deep in her pussy and she screams for more

“Harder Hoseok. Fuck me harder, don’t stop!”, she screams at the top of her lungs

“Whoever it is, he’s giving it to her good”

I move harder into her and she’s just screaming incoherently in ecstasy

I hit a spot and she shouts, “Fuck right there Hobi. Right there. Yes, fuck yes, don’t stop.”

I slam that spot again

“Right there baby?”

“Yes! YES!”

“He’s going to break his bed with all that banging”

“Is that going to make you cum again?”, I ask her

“Yes!”

“But you came so many times today baby. You want to again?”

“Yes Hobi please! Make me cum again”, she cries loudly

“Ok baby.”

I pound her spot over and over waiting for her to explode

“Be a good girl and cum for me”, I yell

“Yes Hobi yes!”, she screams and cums again this time her clenching and pulling making me cum in her

I scream her name as her pussy sucks the cum from my cock, deep inside her

“Baby! Joanne! Fuck! God! JOANNE!”, I scream in pleasure

“Joanne? Oh my god he’s with Joanne!”, someone shrieks

When we both finish and I fall on the bed beside her.

She reaches for me and I go over laying on her chest.

Her arms wrap around me, and she strokes my hair

“They stopped. Did he really have sex with Joanne?”

I roll my eyes and shout, “Do you mind if I have fun with my girlfriend?”

She laughs

“Girlfriend? What? When is she you’re girlfriend?”

“Today!”, she yells, “Hobi’s mine and I’m his so get used to hearing us!”

“Great”

She keeps playing with my hair and I start to fall asleep.

“I love you Hobi”, she says

“I love you Jo”

I lift my head and give her a soft gentle kiss

“Night baby”

“Night”

I lay back down and fall asleep in my love’s arms

[adrienneleclerc]

Prison For Life

Paring: Walter Marshall x Latina/Hispanic! Reader

Summary: Walter Marshall is very protective over his girlfriend, Y/N, despite her knowing how to protect herself.

Warning: non translated Spanish porque luego me da flojera, errors in spelling or grammar because I don’t double check, I guess mentions of violence and sexual harassment

A/N: Based off of Olivia Rodrigo’s unreleased song “Prison For Life” which is most definitely my theme song, can’t lie. Sorry I haven’t been writing much

Y/N has always been an independent woman, she can perfectly take care of herself. However, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want someone to protect her.

Just a boy in a Chevy truck

He’s got money, but not too much

Walter Marshall has been a detective for the Minneapolis police department for over 10 years so he makes a decent amount of money. The day he met Y/N is certainly a day he would never forget. He parked his 2022 Chevrolet Silverado 2500 HD in the parking lot of Brits Pub and walked inside. He sat at the counter and waited for the bartender to turn around. When the bartender did, he was greeted by beautiful (your color) doe eyes and a small smile.

“Hola, guapo, I’m Y/N, what can I get ya to drink?” Y/N asked him.

“What do you recommend, love?” Walter asked. Y/N wanted to blush because of his British accent but she remained professional. It was a British pub after all so she shouldn’t really be surprised whenever a Brit comes in.

“Well, you could never go wrong with a classic Corona or a Dos Equis Lager, but that’s just me. You seem like a Heineken guy though.” Y/N said.

“I’ll take a Heineken then.” Walter said with a smile. Y/N smiled back and been to serve Walter Heineken in a frosted glass.

“Here you go. Would you want food or are you just here for the beer?” Y/N asked.

“Could I get a chicken tikka masala?” Walter asked.

“Sure thing, hun.” Y/N said, winking at him.

Half an hour later, Walter was eating his food, drinking his beer, and watching whatever the pub was playing on TV when he spotted Y/N at a table with 3 men (basically that scene in Man of Steel).

“Come on, Doll, have a drink with me, I’ll make it worth your while.” The guy in the green t shirt said.

“I already said no, I’m working. Even if I wasn’t working, the answer would be no. So unless you’re gonna order something else..” Y/N said, making her way to clear the empty beer bottle when she felt the guy grope her ass. Y/N turn and smack his hand away and the guy grabbed her wrist. “Let go.”

“Who’s gonna make me?” The guys said. Before Y/N had the chance to take her butterfly knife out of her apron pocket, she felt someone stand behind her.

“I will.” The deep British voice said. “You heard her, let her go.”

“Who the fuck are you?” The guy asked in an angry tone.

“I’m detective Marshall, so let her go before I arrest you for sexual misconduct and disorderly conduct.” Walter said and the guy let Y/N go while the other bartender working kicked him out. “You okay, Y/N?” Walter asked.

“Yeah, thank you for that. If you hadn’t done that, I would have stabbed him.” Y/N said,

“I Don’t believe that.” Walter said but Y/N pulled out her butterfly knife. “Oh wow, you really would have stabbed him.” Y/N chuckled at his shocked face.

“When you’re a female bartender or a woman in general, self defense is vital.” Y/N said.

“Could never be too careful. How about I buy you a drink.” Walter said.

“I can’t really drink on the job. But my shift ends in 15 minutes if you want to wait. We could go somewhere else.” Y/N said.

“That sounds perfect.” Walter said.

And he calls me “baby girl”

I run my hands through his curls

Walter and Y/N have been officially dating for 2 weeks. This was the first time Y/N spent the night at Walter’s house. She was sound asleep until Walter’s alarm woke them up. Walter shut off his alarm while Y/N covered her face with the comforter. Walter chuckled and pulled down the covers to see Y/N. He kissed her nose.

“Good morning, baby girl.” Walter said. Y/N felt butterflies every time he called her that. Y/N started to play with his curly hair.

“Good morning, guapo. What time is it?” Y/N asked. Walter checked his phone.

“It’s 6:30, love.” Walter said. Y/N groaned.

“You wake up way too early.” Y/N said. Walter got off the bed and put on his boxers.

“Well I get in at 8, I have to shower and everything. But you can rest up, baby girl, I know I tired you out last night.” Walter said, kissing her one last time. But before he left his room, he heard something that made him turn around.

“Or I can join you in your shower.” Y/N offered, batting her eyelashes. Walter groaned.

“You’re going to be the death of me, baby girl.” Walter said, before leaning down on the bed to capture her lips, making out a little before lifting her off the bed, having her wrap her legs around his waist, and carrying her to the bathroom where they showered.

And my parents think he’s good and he is, rest assured

He’s anything but sweet if someone comes for me

Walter and Y/N have been dating for 3 months now, Y/N was working in the bar when she got a phone call. She told her coworker, Jason, that she was on break and went to the back room to answer the phone.

“Hello?” Y/N said.

“Hola, amor, como has estado?” Her mom said on the other line.

“Hola mami, estoy bien. Ahorita estoy trabajando, te llamo después, si?”

“Espérate mija, te llamo para decir que tu papá y yo estamos en camino para tu apartamento, nos falta dos, está bien para ti?”

“Mami, para que me visitas?”

“Una mamá ya no puede visitar a su hija o que? Solo quiero saber cómo estás, casi no hablamos. Entonces te veo luego amor, bye.” Her mom hung up and Y/N groaned, calling Walter. He picked up after 3 rings.

“Hey, baby girl, are you excited for our date?” Walter asked

“Hey, querido listen, we need to cancel our date.” Y/N said.

“Why? Are you okay?” Walter asked worriedly.

“No Yeah, everything is fine, but my parents are coming over, I just got off the phone with my mom, so now I need to get my apartment ready, so sorry.” Y/N said.

“Don’t worry, darling, it’s fine, I get it. Talk to you later, bye.” Walter said.

2 hours later, Y/N was in her apartment, she prepared penne vodka, got a bottle of Sangiovese out of the liquor cabinet, set up the dinner table, and out on something somewhat presentable before buzzing up her parents. When there was a knock on her door she opened it but was surprised to see Walter standing outside her door with a bouquet of pink peonies.

“Walter, what are you doing here? I told you my parents are coming over.” Y/N said, pulling him into the apartment.

“Yes, I know, love. But I actually wanted to meet your parents if that’s okay.” Walter said, Y/N was shocked that he actually wanted to meet her parents.

“Yeah, sure, that’s fine, up, take another plate out of the cabinet while I put these in water.” Y/N said, kissing his cheek. Y/N got a vase, filled them with water, and checked to see if the stems were cut diagonally before putting them in the vase and setting them on the kitchen counter. Walter set up his place at the dinner table when the doorbell rang and Y/N buzzed her parents up. A few moments later, there was a knock on the door and Y/N opened the door to see her parents.

“Hola, mija, como has estado?” Her dad greeted her first, hugging her while entering the apartment.

“Hola papi, hola mami.” Y/N greeted back.

“Y/N, quien es este hombre tan guapo?” Her mom asked and Y/N blushed out of embarrassment.

“Ah mami, él es..”

“Buenas tardes, señora, soy Walter, el novio de su hija.” Walter held out his hand for her mom to shake. All three Latinos shocked at the fact that the handsome gringo can speak Spanish practically perfectly.

“How?” Y/N asked.

“Well i am from England, I learned Spanish in school but ever since I got a gorgeous Latina/Hispanic (whichever you prefer to be called, honestly) girlfriend, I’ve been practicing more.” Walter said.

“I love that. Bueno, ya está la comida, así que les sirvo la pasta y quizás un poquito de vino, si?” Y/N said.

Dinner went quite well and Y/N walked her parents to the lobby to say goodbye properly.

“Es un buen muchacho, Y/N. Se nota que te quiere mucho. Nos vemos luego.” Her mom said as they both left. Y/N got upstairs and saw Walter washing the dishes.

“You didn’t have to do that, you know.” Y/N said.

“I crashed your dinner with your parents, it’s the least I could do.” Walter said.

“Thanks. So you’ve been practicing your Spanish ever since we’ve started dating?” Y/N asked him.

“Pues claro, así puedo decirte que te amo.” Walter said as he took Y/N hands in his. “I love you, Y/N, I really do. It was one of the reasons why I wanted to meet your parents today too.”

“Yo también te amo, Walter.” Y/N said. They kissed.

A week later, Walter and Y/N went to a bar so she could meet his friends/coworkers. Everything was going well until Y/N went to the bar counter to get more drinks for their booth and felt a person grab her ass, what is with people and her ass? She turned around but she already saw Walter pushing the guy away from her.

“What hell is your problem, man?” The guy yelled, clearly drunk.

“My problem is men like you thinking it’s okay to touch my girlfriend, or any woman for that matter, without their consent. I’m a cop so I suggest you leave before I arrest your drunken ass.” Walter threatened and the guy left with a huff. “You okay, baby girl?”

“Yes I am, thanks to you.” Y/N said, the bartender flagged her down for the drinks, she thanked him, and walked to the booth with Walter’s arms around her.

I’m a feminist, obviously, but I wouldn’t really mind him saving me

And I know that I’m fine without a man but I think I would like his protection

I’m just being honest, can’t change what I like, I’ll never forget it, he told me one night

“If anybody hurts you, ha, I’m going to prison for life”

Y/N was at her house, getting ready to go out with Walter, video chatting with her bestie.

“Wait, you’re telling me that you’re in love with this guy? What happened to you being an independent woman and a feminist.” Her friend said.

“I am a feminist, Don’t get me wrong. I still am an independent woman, thank you very much, I pay my bills, but i wouldn’t mind him fighting off any pervs from the fucking bar when I’m working. I’m pretty sure I’d get fired if I actually put my butterfly knife to good use.” Y/N said, doing her makeup

“I mean fair, it’s like you could do it, but you shouldn’t have to.” Her friend said.

“Exactly! Besides, all those romance novels I’ve read made me want like a protective boyfriend, those who say ‘where whatever you want, I can fight’, like a that’s so hot. I think Walter fits that description.” Y/N said, putting the finishing touches of her makeup.

“You certainly got a book boyfriend, I’ll tell you that.” Y/N was going to respond until she got a call from Walter.

“Hey baby girl, I’m downstairs, ready whenever you are.” Walter said.

“I’m coming, bye.” Y/N hung up. “Hey, (friends name), Walter is here, I gotta go.” Y/N said.

“Have fun.” Her friend said and hung up. Y/N got her bag and left the apartment to see Walter standing by his truck with a bouquet of roses in his hand this time.

“Happy 6 months, darling.” W,after said, leaning down to kiss her.

“Happy 6 months. Do I just put these in water and then we can go?” Y/N asked.

“Or you could do that after our date. Come on, I’m positive you’re going to love it.” Walter said. He drove until they made it to a park where there was a picnic table. He got out of the truck to open the door for Y/N and help her out. He went to the back to get out a picnic basket.

“Aw, this is so cute, Walter.” Y/N said, kissing him lightly.

“I’m glad you think so, love, let’s go, our date awaits.” Walter said, leading her to the table, setting everything up.

When they were done, he drove back to her place where she invited him up to have a slice of flan that she has made last night.

“This is delicious, love. You are an amazing cook.” Walter said, kissing her, her lips tasting sweet from the flan.

“Thank you, my mom taught me.” Y/N asked.

“Y/N, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” Walter said,

“Go ahead, ask me.” Y/N said,

“Whats that scar on your hip?” Walter asked. Y/N tenses up a bit but answered him anyway.

“It was after work. This was like a year ago, um, this drunk kept hitting on me, I kept saying no, when I was leaving his table, I felt his hand on my inner thigh, the one day I wear a skirt, right, and I slapped him. The manager kicked him out, my shift ended an hour later, as I was walking to my car, I felt him grab me, I was looking for my knife when I felt him cut me on my hip and I stab his hand. He screamed, I got a bunch of napkins that I kept in my purse to press it against my hip and drove to the hospital. It wasn’t that deep but it did need stitches. So yeah, that’s what happened.” Y/N said, eating another spoonful of flan. Walter took Y/N’s free hand in his, bringing it to his lips, kissing it.

“I Don’t know what to say. I wish I would have met you before, to prevent that from happening.” Walter said.

“Whats done is done, don’t dwell on it, guapo, it’s okay.” Y/N said,

“I’ll just say this, I have fought or threatened any person who has touched you or even looked at you the wrong way.” Walter started and Y/N giggled because it was true. “But I am positive that if anybody hurts you, I’m going to prison for life, I’ll always be there to protect you or fight for you.” Walter said, kissing her.

The End

Hope y’all like it! Should I make a part 2 based off the second verse and the bridge?

[fotibrit]

"EDITH (Even Death Isn't Too Heavy)"

In a fit of boredom, I wrote the first chapter of this prompt. Please let me know if its worth continuing writing this one :)) (1700 words below the "continue reading" , youve been warned !!)

When Tony died, everything was supposed to stand still. The grass, somehow, would sense the shift and would freeze over to pay respect. The clouds shouldn’t show their face at all, unless to rain on the horrible, horrible world that now stopped turning in the wake of such a tragedy. 

Everything was supposed to stand still. The world should stop. 

But it doesn't. It seemed everything moved at double-speed, with Mister Stark gone. Of course, there was a world to clean up. Half the people on Earth had appeared in thin air, and entire cities needed to be turned into hospitals. Mass confusion reigned. Everyone turned to the avengers for answers, and nobody noticed the body of the man who had saved the world, whisked away in a black bag. 

That's all he was. A body in a bag. Everything, everything that Tony Stark ever was and ever would be, was within that bag. The bag that Peter would never see again. 

There were parties. Spider-Man was asked to a dinner at city hall, a “Celebration of Life Revived”. They asked, should he accept, that he give a speech. The city missed the vigilante, he was told. People were concerned, not having seen the web-slinger soaring through the skies after the battle. They wanted to see him, admire him, thank him for everyone he had saved. 

They even offered transportation.

There was no need. He couldn’t attend. He would be at a lake house, on the outskirts of New York. He had a funeral to attend. The “Life Revived” would have to make do without him. 

Peter tried to avoid anything to do with Tony Stark for the months after his death. He was tired, far too tired to deal with the fallout of his mentor's death. There was paperwork to be sorted, meetings with SHIELD, interviews requested, and there was the small issue of Tony’s workshops. Nobody wanted to step foot in any of them, let alone clean them up. This wouldn’t be an issue. They could stay, collect dust, become an ancient artefact. Peter was willing to turn a blind eye, forget that the rooms ever existed, distract his mind as every crumbled up bag of chips on the lab floor became a relic of a better world in which Tony Stark lived.

It doesn't matter. See if Peter cares. It's not like anyone would use Tony’s lab again. Tony’s dead. 

Dead, and never coming back. His voice fades from Peter’s memory as Peter stands, frozen, in front of the lab door. 

Unfortunately, Peter may not care if Tony’s workshop turns to dust, but SHIELD certainly does, and nobody has the energy to fight that battle with them at the moment. Valuable work needed to be preserved, some things needed to be guarded under lock and key, a few things would go to a museum, per Tony’s will.

So, Pepper asked Peter to clean it out. “Just glance over everything. See if anything stands out. God knows I don’t understand his little language, but if he wrote ‘weapon’ in big red letters on anything, burn it before SHIELD sees it, yeah? Or translate it to ‘high tech prosthesis’. He would have loved that.” 

Peter was the only one for the job. There had been a few days in which everyone panicked, thinking nobody would be able to preserve Tony’s work. He had insisted on using his personal language in his notes, a language Peter privately dubbed “Teaspool” after failing to find a way to pronounce “TSPL” (or, Tony Stark’s Private Language”). Even some of Tony’s codes used symbols known only to Tony’s brain and computer. 

And Peters. Tony had taught Peter Teaspool. This fact had been private for years, with Tony preferring to keep the depths to which he trusted the boy private, and the boy following his mentor’s lead and keeping quiet. When it was first discovered that much of Tony’s work was unreadable to an English speaker, Peter had debated revealing his ability to understand the language. He ultimately decided that he wouldn’t reveal himself, he would maintain his last secret with his late mentor, but Morgan had other ideas. 

She showed up at his bedside one day. He was always in bed. Peter Parker, drowning in grief and blankets, was very easy to find. 

“Mommy is crying because she can’t read Daddy’s books. Can you read them to her?”

Peter agreed to step foot in the lab, but not much else. It’s true that he learned to read Teaspool over the years, but that doesn't mean he’s willing to spend months translating everything for SHIELD. 

He’s not sure he’s even willing to spend minutes. 

The door handle is cold, far colder than it ever was when Stark was alive, or at least it seemed as much to Peter. That might, in retrospect, have something to do with the fact that Peter had laid in bed, warm and comfortable and utterly numb to the world, for the last few weeks. Everything felt colder. 

He wouldn’t wait to go back to bed. 

The room was cold too, and creepily silent. Completely devoid of the whirring, the music, the laughter and called out nicknames that typically greeted Peter when he walked through this door. 

That nickname would never come again. He had already had his last. It wasn’t enough. 

“FRIDAY?” Peter spoke into the silence, more for his own comfort than a pressing need for the AI. He needed to know someone else, even a robot, was somewhere closeby. His voice cracked from misuse. It wasn’t that Mister Stark’s death had caused him to go mute. It was more like that very things were worth speaking for, in a world devoid of his father figure. 

Speaking only made his life better. Peter didn’t need his life to be better. He needed his life to not be his own. 

“Hello, Peter.” The AI responded. Even she sounded cold. Everything was cold, now. 

“Can you… play music? Anything? Please?” The room was haunted. Peter was sure of it. He had known it back when he frequented this lab for the express purpose of bothering Mister Stark while he worked. The lab was haunted by the spirits of projects that Mister Stark forgot about, Peter used to say. The half-built gadgets lined the walls, staring at the pair of humans working on another gadget, which would (in turn) be dejected as well. “This lab is a haunted graveyard. I’m surprised the electricity hasn’t revolted against you!”

Mister Stark had laughed, back then. If only Peter had known how right he would be. It wasn’t electricity, per se, that killed Stark, but Doctor Strange said it was the magical equivalent. It looked like sparks had coursed through the mechanics veins as he lied, waiting for death. 

The machines won in the end. 

Music started playing. Classical. Something happy. Far too happy, for this room. Still, it was better than nothing. 

Peter’s bare feet wandered over to the main table of the lab. He typically wore lab-appropriate footwear in this room, but then again, it’s not a lab anymore. It's a graveyard. 

The table was piled with papers, no clear signs of an organisational system presenting themselves. Blueprints for designs that could change the world were filed with Peter’s own chemistry homework, all filed right on top of the desk in a haphazard pile. 

This should be fun. 

It felt wrong, somehow, to sit in the chair that was right next to the desk. Mister Stark was probably the last one to sit on it. Who was Peter to take that away from the universe? He dragged over another chair and began rooting through the pages. 

—--------

Peter almost didn’t check the desk drawers. Tony never used them for anything more than snacks, and he didn’t know if he could bear finding a half- finished snack in there, knowing the inventor had opened it and would never finish the bag. Such a small thing, but the pressure in Peter’s chest had been building ever since he first started translating Tony’s handwriting, and he couldn’t take anything more. 

But he checked anyway. Maybe part of him wanted to break. And break he certainly did. 

A notebook. Bound in leather, stamped in the bottom left corner with Tony’s initials, a well used notebook had been pushed all the way to the back of the otherwise empty drawer. It was filled with a mix of english and symbols, and before Peter could start to translate, the english section caught his eye. 

It was a diary. Or at least, a personal journal. The small english section described Tony’s difficulty with keeping “Mark Two” a secret from “Obie”, and was dated 2009. 

As Peter flipped through the almost-full journal, the handwriting became more and more illegible, and more of the man's personal language took over the pages, until Peter hit the back cover. 

So it started in 2009. Peter flipped to the last page, intending to find out exactly when Tony had given up on the journal, only to see his own name staring back at him from the last entry. 

Or at least, it might as well be his name at this point. 

“TO ROO” it said, in big bold english letters on the top of the page. 

The following paragraph was written in the messiest handwriting yet, and in Teaspool. As such, it took over twenty minutes to decipher, and another twenty for Peter to read through the tears and disbelief.

Because what it was saying…

It couldn’t be.

“TO ROO

The wizard says there's only one option, so I’m in a corner here. I’m working on it, kid, but it’s looking like you will have to wait a while to see me after we get you back. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. Just stay strong. I’ll be back soon. I can’t wait to see you again, kiddo. Trust me. I'll have to push through worlds to see you again, but even death isn’t too heavy. 

P.S. Don't show the others. If they knew, I would be stuck. Keep it quiet. Wait for me.”

Three hours after Peter entered the lab, Morgan came looking for her brother at the request of her mom. Peter, notebook clutched in hand, murmured the phrase “even death isn’t too heavy” as he was led back to his bed.

[m-y--p-a-s-s-i-o-n-s]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @saybiwithme :)

How many works do you have on ao3?

184

2. What fandoms do you write for?

Supernatural

Sherlock

Teen Wolf

Marvel

James Bond

Star Trek

Merlin

Harry Potter

Primeval

House MD

Venom

The Old Guard

Detroit Become Human

The Witcher

Good Omens

Lucifer

Hannibal

Our Flag Means Death

Ted Lasso

Staged

Carnival Row

Doctor Who

The Umbrella Academy

True Blood

So, just a few XD

3. Top five fics by kudos:

1- Meant To Be (Star Trek AOS)

2- Making Love (Venom)

3- 5 Times Jim Forgot About Vulcan Hand Sensitivity & 1 Time He Didn't (Star Trek AOS)

4- Lunch Break (House M.D.)

5- Truth Or Dare (Supernatural)

4. Do you respond to comments?

Yes, unless it's hate or I have not a single thing to say in response

5. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Off the top of my head, I think its gotta be:

Whatever This Is Between Us (Endverse SPN)

or

Pheromones (Good Omens)

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Now this one is problematic, how am I supposed to chose just one??? I specialise in happy endings XD Ummm, lets see...possibly...

The Umbrella (Good Omens)

or

The One That Got Away (TOS Star Trek)

or

Good News (DBH)

7. Do you get hate on fics?

Not often, but yes, I just delete the comment cause they're not worth my time.

8. Do you write smut?

Soooo much smut

9. Craziest crossover?

Hahahahahaha XD I love this question, not only is it my craziest crossover, its just my craziest fic in general XD

Convergence

Just imagine some crazy person (this bitch) decided to write a fic for all of their ships (up to that date), they all meet up and work together, and there's a lot of smut, and hot damn, there's even a plot.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Two that I'm aware of :D

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Fragments (Star Trek AOS) with @lizzy0305

and

Double Date (Star Trek AOS)

13. All time favourite ship?

Spirk <3

14. What’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

A Destiel AU with cook!Dean and office job!Cas

15. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue I think, and fluff. And I think I can usually get their voices pretty spot on fairly quickly usually.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Details, I have to really think about putting in details. And I write quite slow.

17. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Love it as long as a translation happens either within the fic, or in the author's notes so I know what it says. I use the Vulcan language a fair bit in my Trek fics.

18. First fandom you wrote in?

Technically it was Harry Potter before I knew what fanfiction even was. But it was Supernatural when I knew it was fanfiction I was writing, and it was the first fandom I posted fic for. My first fic: Acceptance (Supernatural)

19. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Oh boi this is a tough one...heres a couple of my favs...

An Artist and His Muse (Good Omens)

Something Special (Staged)

The One That Got Away (Star Trek TOS)

The Update (DBH)

Under the Shape of Dessert (BBC Sherlock)

What No Man Has Done Before (HP/ST AOS)

In Search of the Sun (Star Trek AOS)

20. What’s your total ao3 word count? (I missed this one at the top and just added it to the bottom XD)

698,179 words

TAGGING: @lizzy0305 @doonarose @ineffable-ezra and my other followers who write fics!

[brasideios]

Fanfic Tag Game

Thanks for the tag @aeide 🤍 fairly sure I did this a while back, but I have time so why not 😊

1. How many fics do you have on AO3? 19

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 481662

3. What fandoms do you write for? Have written for: AC Syndicate, AC Odyssey, AC Valhalla, Stardew Valley, Hades (game), Pyre, Ancient History RPF, and am tinkering with maybe something Minecraft. Maybe.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? Snatched Moments (163) The Warmth of Home (122) Another Turn Around the Wheel (116) Unfinished Business (71) and the Good Spartan (53).

5. Do you respond to comments? Usually - unless someone replies to every chapter in quick succession, (and especially if the comments are only emojis) - then I tend to just reply to those that I have something worth responding with; or with the emojis situation, just the final one.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Rising to the Surface. No doubt about it. Or maybe the Good Spartan. That seems to get a lot of ‘this ended me’ type comments so yeah.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Most of my fics have some variation of a happy ending. I think the one I’m writing now (Another Life) will be the most definitively happy though.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not really, no. Disappointment that they’re unfinished from time to time, but not hate.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yeah, mlm mostly. Very mild, vanilla really.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I’ve never written one. Just not my bag.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I’m aware of, unless you count AI scraping, in which case, almost certainly, probably all of them, up to and including all my original work.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? No.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic? No. I don’t do collaborative writing. Again, just not my bag.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship? I don’t have one. I’m a multishipper to my core, because it’s too fun putting characters together with different partners to see what the relationship brings out of them to go all-in on one pairing.

15. What’s a fic you’d like to finish but don’t think you ever will? Still Crawling Kingsnake. I love it but there’s just no ending. Not even a shadow of one.

16. What are your writing strengths? Fighting the urge to be self-deprecating here - I like to think I do a good job with dialogue and building a character. I feel less doubtful about that than the rest, anyway.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Everything else.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic? If I knew one, I’d do it. I read lots of things with this feature so why not. I would be certain to provide a translation for readers though (side-eyeing academic papers).

19. First fandom you wrote for? AC Odyssey.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? The Good Spartan or Shadow-Twin. I think they’re both decent, just in different ways. I also like Another Life so far, tentatively hopeful that it’ll be worth reading when it’s done.

Probably everyone has already been tagged, so sorry if I’m doubling up or you’ve done this recently and I missed it. Just a few with no pressure @findusinaweek @ainulindaelynn @krankittoeleven @softest-punk

[qan-t]

moment from holy eternity

i wanted to do some digging into setsuna’s name and its meaning, because it was chosen very deliberately and makes for an interesting subject. for starters: how is setsuna f. seiei written in japanese? 刹那・F・セイエイ interesting right off the bat. we’ve got three writing systems here: kanji, the roman alphabet, and katakana. mixing kanji and katakana is unusual irl (you wouldn’t find that or a middle initial in the average japanese name) but it isn’t necessarily odd by the show’s standards: saji crossroad is written 沙慈・クロスロード, and sumeragi lee noriega is written  スメラギ・李・ノリエガ, for example. katakana is generally used for rendering non-japanese words, and actually contains sounds that don’t normally exist in japanese, like the ‘ti’ in tieria. kind of interesting that actual japanese words like ‘sumeragi’ are written in katakana rather than kanji? i’m mostly mentioning this because trying to verify the meaning of ‘seiei’ drove me slightly insane thanks largely to being written in katakana. put a pin in that. alright. so. 刹那, literally meaning ‘moment’ or ‘instant’. according to wikitionary, “From Middle Chinese 剎那 (MC t͡ʃʰˠɛt̚ nɑ), a transliteration of Sanskrit क्षण (kṣaṇa).[1][2] Originally a Buddhist term meaning the smallest possible moment in time: a split-second. Carries favorable connotations of "precious" from the Buddhist teaching that one should live well even in the shortest moment of time.” now we’ve got the F. this would be impossibly mysterious... if we didn’t have an official answer. yeah, the post title spoils it, but it’s literally ‘From’. thanks to this individual doing a srwux let’s play, we even have a specific source for where this statement originated: Newtype Magazine of September/2008 but as they also mention, setsuna’s name reads as Setsuna From Seiei, meaning Moment From Eternity. it’s correct, but not complete. (again, the title spoils the mystery, but let me have this.) we now move onto seiei. this is where i lost my mind a bit. if you plug ‘seiei meaning in japanese’ into google, you get 精鋭, meaning elite. but wait. that’s wrong. i went into this knowing that the gist of setsuna’s name is ‘moment from eternity’. what do you mean elite?! there has to be another kanji or something it’s referencing. i double check what the japanese word for eternity even is, and it’s 永遠, eien. not seiei. okay, what the hell. at that point i took to the japanese and chinese side of the internet and found multiple references to different characters: 聖永 alrighty, let’s put this into deepl, and... my brother in christ, what do you mean this translates to “Eimei era (1558.2.28-1570.4.23)” and is pronounced ‘seinaga’?!? the alternate translation given is “eternal sun”, which is... close-ish, but still not right. that’s not ringing any bells. this is turning out like one of those math problems where you’re given the quotient first and your job is to determine a corresponding equation. finally, i try kanshudo’s kanji search. and what have we here. what we need to look at is how these kanji are pronounced individually. 聖: セイ sei, meaning holy and  永: エイ ei, meaning long time notice that the ‘ei’ kanji is the same one in eien/eternity 永遠 (fun fact, if unrelated: 永 is made up of the characters for ice 冫 and water 水 . after a long time, ice melts into water! what a clever way of conveying the meaning.) and wouldn’t you know it? plugging 永 into deepl gives me ‘immortality’ and ‘eternity’ as less common meanings. which leaves us with Moment From Holy Eternity. i had heard ‘holy eternity’ before, but had forgotten it until this kanji deep dive. from what i can gather here, series writer yosuke kuroda was the one who came up with setsuna f. seiei and the meaning behind it, but director seiji mizushima seems to have went “this kid’s from the middle east tho” and setsuna f. seiei became a codename. which leads me to the last thing i want to mention. it seems like common knowledge, but it’s worth repeating since we’re on the subject: the name soran ibrahim was taken from the real life actor soran ebrahim who starred in the kurdish war drama ‘turtles can fly’. if ‘setsuna f. seiei’ came from kuroda, it’s reasonable to assume that ‘soran ibrahim’ was mizushima’s choice. THIS WAS AS LONG A POST AS I EXPECTED IT’D BE, HHHH. i hope it was interesting!

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Welcome to Too Much Information Tuesday!

50% of Canada is A.

The faster you eat, the more weight you gain.

Sex burns 360 calories per hour.

Hitler and Napolean both had only one testicle.

French fries are from Belgium not France.

The richest 1% of the world, owns 99% of the world.

French queens gave birth in public to prove the baby was theirs.

In their first year of trading, Coca-Cola only sold 25 bottles.

There is a morning-after pill for STIs.

“No lemon, no melon” backwards is "No lemon, no melon".

Bolivia has a 5000 man strong navy. What Bolivia does not have is a coastline.

On March 10th, 2015, Ireland accidentally legalised 125 drugs for one day, including ketamine, ecstasy and crystal meth.

Oysters, avocado, chocolate, and bananas are all known to increase sex drive.

‘Hakuna Matata’ is a Swahili phrase that literally translates to ‘There are no worries.’

Why are you assuming that your guests’ shoes are dirtier than your floor?

Cannabis can double a woman's chance of having a mind-blowing orgasm.

In 1894, The Times estimated that by 1950 London would be nine feet deep in horse manure.

Semen contains zinc and calcium, both of which are proven to prevent tooth decay.

Everyone talks about leaving a better planet for our kids. Let’s try to leave better kids for our planet.

When. You. Read. Stuff. Like. This. The. Voice. In. Your. Head. Takes. Pauses.

Drinking moderate amounts of alcohol before writing can actually enhance your creativity.

In 2014, a man from Arizona stole a diamond that was worth $160,000 and traded it for $20 worth of weed.

Not having enough sex can put you at risk of anxiety, paranoia and depression.

Psychologists examined internet trolls and found that the majority of them are narcissistic, psychopathic and/or sadistic.

Women are more attracted to someone with the ability to make them laugh. Laughter strengthens relationships.

Woody Harrelson’s father was a door-to-door Encyclopaedia Britannica salesman before becoming a contract killer.

Generally, women care more in a relationship but are more likely to walk away and stay away once they reach breaking point.

If Benny and Bjorn from ABBA had been Steve and Dave, they would have been known as ASDA.

If you can’t send an Excel file because it’s too big, save it as .xlsb. This will shrink the size.

Only 16% of French people surveyed in 2015 said they could live without cheese ‘sans aucun problème’ (without any problem).

The average Brit spends more time per week on the toilet than they do exercising.

Each time you resist acting on your anger, you're actually rewiring your brain to be calmer and more compassionate.

The Stinking Rose restaurant in San Francisco uses 1.5 tons of garlic a month and features a 2,400-bulb garlic braid as decoration. According to one reviewer "They season the garlic with food.”

In 2021 an arrest warrant was issued for a woman in Oklahoma after it was discovered she hadn’t returned a copy of Sabrina the Teenage Witch on VHS to a video rental store in 1999 when it was due.

Broccoli, cabbage, and Brussel sprouts all contain a little bit of cyanide. Eating them primes your liver to deal better with other poisons.

In 1976, the typical US CEO earned 36 times the salary of his average worker. Today, the average CEO makes 369 times what an average worker makes.

Tchaikovsky was able to quit his day job with the support of a wealthy patron. Her only condition for her support was that they never meet in person.

Brian Cranston signed up to a screen writers’ guild so that he was paid royalties for the whistling he did as Hal in ‘Malcolm in the Middle’. He used the money to pay for parties for the crew.

It's hard to change a person's mind using facts due to "motivated reasoning". People often believe what they want, then use unsubstantial evidence to support it, even when there's an abundance of information disproving their point.

In 2018, a 13-year-old opened a hot dog stand in front of his home in Minnesota, prompting a neighbor to file a complaint with the health department. Instead of shutting him down, inspectors helped bring his stand up to code and paid the $87 fee for his permit.

In 1996, a store manager in California robbed the store, reported the robbery, and then gave a detailed description of the ‘suspect’ to the sketch artist. When the police pointed out to him that the ‘suspect’ looked exactly like him, the man confessed.

The last line of the film ‘Gone with the Wind’ — ‘Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn’ — was originally censored. Before it was finally approved, the producers considered such replacements as ‘I don’t give a whoop’, ‘I don’t give a straw’, and ‘I don’t give a Continental’.

The inventor of the transistor, John Bardeen, won a Nobel prize in 1956 but only brought one of his three kids to the ceremony. When questioned on it, he said he’d bring the others the next time he won, which he then did in 1972.

Okay, that’s enough information for one day. Have a tremendous and tumultuous Tuesday! I love you all.

[atropaanimus]

10 facts psppss

10 FACTS TIME [Accepting]

Gio you didn't specify so YOU GET DOUBLE JEOPARDY:

Milo can cook food. Most of it is rustic and old age recipes. They only cook at home though and they have a garden to give them food.

Despite the fact Milo does not need to eat, drink, breathe, or sleep, they do these things anyway because they can and it is a fun experience.

The reaper is a nerd, especially about botany and arcane botany. They have a specialization in necrobotany but won't mention why or how they got into the hobby.

They have a personal collection of broken souls in their home that they take care of. Many are separated soulmates that they bring back together before passing on into the next stage beyond death.

Having eons to practice the forms of art, Milo doesn't use a scythe, but a fauchard instead. This is hardly ever used during work but on the very rare occasion it is. Sometimes the dead don't want to be that way and put up a bit of a fight.

Milo knows what every form of dying feels like, and gets metaphysical updates whenever a new one is invented. The reaction is similar to jolting awake from a dream right before you hit the ground.

Speaking of dying, Milo can technically kill someone but in terms of work, is not allowed to. The consequence is feeling that instance of death ten told ten times worse. There are specific situations where Milo considers this consequence worth it.

Milo was not always Milo and had to find themselves after the scarring incident that left them with Atrophic. Their identity came well after their conceived existence and they refuse to let it go.

That being said, Milo and their Atrophic state aren't considered the same entity, despite evidence of the contrary. Milo refuses to acknowledge Atrophic as something they still are.

Milo does regularly go to therapy to keep their mental health up. Oddly enough all their friends refuse to go to therapy and still speak to them about their problems.

Asier is the third True Singularity of Death and unlike other reapers, has three mantles. No one remembers the others outside of the fact they existed, only because Asier has those mantles.

She does not eat food outside of acting and spy jobs. The most food she consumes on the regular is tea and wine.

She can traverse any universal plane at will and can even move to other universes within her jurisdiction to make sure they are kept at some kind of balanced level. There is no such thing as a perfect balance.

Asier's average sleep comes up to five hours every seven years. She just simply has too much energy to be tired. When she is tired enough to sleep, it's a huge relief.

Inventing soulweave magic allows Asier to be the only reaper to be able to remove a soul out of a vessel without slaying the owner. As such she is also the only reaper who can destroy them instantly, no matter what from.

Asier Amaia is a Basque name translating to 'the beginning of the end'.

Her meetings are sometimes jokingly referred to as AA Meetings because Asier is the worst workaholic you will find in the known universes.

She still uses quill and ink pen despite being well versed in modern writing utensils. She has an appreciation for the old ways.

When a reaper ceases to exist, as they can't die, all memory and influence of them ceases to be as well. Asier is working on a method of magic to prevent this and let the memories continue to exist, so that reapers can 'die' in their own way.

She only has her claws most prominent when she is wearing her gloves. When she isn't, Asier has sharp nails that can change into claws, but only at her whim.

[chocolategreys]

Trainslation game

#TRAINSLATION GAME PROFESSIONAL#

Seeing my name in the credits for the first time was also quite something!Īfter a six-month pause as a horse-riding guide (my second passion after video games), I moved to Malaga, Spain, from almost one day to the other to fill a localization tester position left vacant by a former colleague from Québec. Those were truly memorable times, during which I learnt a lot, met really great people from all over the world and got the chance to further develop my linguistic skills as well as a good sense of methodology. My translation experience at was enough to land me a position as a game localization QA tester in Québec in 2009, where I worked for a year and a half. How did you transition from being an editor, to being a game translator? I will never be able to thank those guys enough for giving me that opportunity as it was really the door opener to my career. Basically, good linguistic skills and a good command of English were needed for this job. My job was to upload whole catalogues of retro games (I picked SEGA consoles) to their database, which meant taking screenshots, writing game descriptions and mining information in English for many of them. Playing them taught me a lot of vocabulary and basically helped me speak English at a more advanced level than what school required from me.Īs a result, I followed some English studies at university and took my first steps in the business in 2008 with an internship as a junior editor for the biggest French video games website,, where I was a junior editor on their editorial staff. Localization was indeed not as important in the late 1990s and early 2000s as it is today, and many games just had subtitles, even menus, in English only. They also played a major role in my learning of English (along with Metallica!), which might be worth noting for aspiring translators.

#TRAINSLATION GAME PROFESSIONAL#

I played video games for the first time when I was four years old (ah, sweet memories of Power Strike, Psycho Fox and Sonic on SEGA Master System), and they pretty much defined my whole professional life. 🙂 How did you become a Game Translator and Localizer? I’m also the founder and manager of a multilingual team of professional video game translators, Level Up Translation, which basically doubles the amount of tasks listed above. I spend my day typing, researching, thinking a lot, drinking liters of tea and answering e-mails. My job as a game translator consists of transposing the original experience of a game into my native language, that is, French. What do you do each day as a Video Game Translator? He explains what a translator does, how he got started in the job, and what it takes to succeed as a game localizer. Today I’m speaking with Damien Yoccoz, the founder of Level Up Translation in Basse-Normandie, France. Others took matters into their own hands and made “fan translations” to distribute to other players using dial-in bulletin-board systems (BBS).įortunately, game localization has become so affordable that publishers release each game in multiple languages so players around the world can enjoy their creations. Some players learned a second language like Japanese, solely so they could play rare unofficial imports. That is, unless the developers translate their game into a language you understand, using a painstaking process called localization.īefore the 1990s, if you didn’t speak the language, you simply couldn’t play the game. That means unless you learn Japanese, French, Mandarin, and a dozen other languages, you’ll miss out on thousands of awesome game experiences in your lifetime. Hundreds of new video games are created every year, but unfortunately, most are made by developers who speak a language you don’t. Damien Yoccoz: “Speaking two languages doesn’t make you a translator any more than having two hands makes you a pianist.” To read the others, visit Which game job is right for you?. The following article is just one of over 30+ interviews with professional game developers.

[fweet-prince]

This might be incoherent but I wanna talk about tumblr’s girlbossification of Clytemnestra because like. A) “Clytemnestra was right” ignores/erases a lot of really fascinating complexity from the story and frankly does a massive disservice to both Electra and Iphigenia, the daughter Agamemnon killed, two of my favorite girlbosses in the canon (and Orestes, who I also adore), and B) Clytemnestra is way more interesting when we open up the moral ambiguity of what she did as opposed to oversimplifying it to “grieving mother kills her husband for killing her daughter,” which is arguably not even a simple version of what happened.

First off, “was Agamemnon right to kill Iphigenia,” “was Clytemnestra right to kill Agamemnon,” and “was Orestes right to kill Clytemnestra” are three separate questions, and the latter two take the answer to the previous ones into account but aren’t solely determined by them, but tumblr seems to get stuck on “no, obviously,” therefore “yes, obviously,” therefore “no, obviously,” which is an interpretation, but all three are really interesting complex questions, that’s why people keep fucking writing Oresteias!!

“Was Agamemnon right to kill Iphigenia” is often looked at as “is it cool to kill a teenage girl so you can go to war” but it is WAY more complicated than that. Like I am fully on the fuck Agamemnon train but not for the reasons I feel like a lot of people here are. Euripides’ Iphigenia at Aulis is so fucking good and really highlights how utterly and completely Agamemnon did not have a choice. It wasn’t “sacrifice Iphigenia or go home,” it was “sacrifice Iphigenia or all the armies die here at Aulis,” which means that functionally it was “sacrifice Iphigenia or the men kill you and then her anyway.” On top of that, it’s not like turning around and going home would be a real option even if it was a logistical one, and this is Not the post to get into the causes of the Trojan War but the short version for this purpose is that is simply not how a tragedy works. Still extremely fuck Agamemnon for lying to Iphigenia and to Clytemnestra and for using Achilles, and Achilles in that play does a great job demonstrating how we’d want Agamemnon to act by telling Iphigenia fuck that I will take on every single soldier here if you say the word but like. That isn’t a rational response, that’s a prideful, emotional response and the narrative knows it and Iphigenia knows it. Iphigenia was tricked to Aulis and for that Agamemnon is a shithead, but Iphigenia went willingly to the altar and she died a hero and she knew it, and that is way too sexy and powerful to bury to make an uncomplicated vengeful mother story out of Clytemnestra. Of course that’s only one telling and there are others where Iphigenia doesn’t have that kind of power but why would you ignore the ones where she’s so fucking cool. My best friend Iphigenia

“Was Clytemnestra right to kill Agamemnon” I gotta say I am still on board with “lmao yeah” to that one but there is so much more to it than revenge. I think it’s important to acknowledge that Clytemnestra very much was cheating with Agamemnon with his cousin and she very much did kill him for power and while it is a sexist double standard to condemn her for infidelity and not Agamemnon I think we can in fact condemn them both! And there’s also that there is so much indignity in the way she killed him that I feel like gets lost in cultural translation but like. Agamemnon did not get to die gloriously in battle. Agamemnon died naked and tangled in a shower curtain after returning home victorious. It’s the same kind of thing that makes Medea’s prophecy of Jason’s death so powerful, that a great hero dies pathetically, and you absolutely could argue he fucking deserves it (Jason certainly did) but it is also worth acknowledging that Agamemnon does not get the dignified death that Iphigenia does. Even if we take Clytemnestra killing Agamemnon as purely revenge, she gave him worse than he gave Iphigenia. And we gotta acknowledge that she did also axe murder Cassandra which is just plain fucked up. I don’t think I have to explain that one that’s fucked up. But my point is Clytemnestra is frankly SO much more interesting if we separate “did Agamemnon deserve what he got” (yeah, probably) from “did Clytemnestra do it for the right reasons” (who knows!)

And “was Orestes right to kill Clytemnestra” I mean. That one’s so complicated it gets an entire play of the Oresteia dedicated to it. That one’s so complicated Aeschylus had the Athenian justice system invented to deal with it. And this post about Clytemnestra is not NEARLY gonna get into All My Thoughts About That (affirmations voice I am NOT going to go off about Hamlet-Orestes parallels in this post) but the main factor in how it relates to Thoughts On Clytemnestra Specifically is like. Pretty consistently Clytemnestra was a shitty mother at least to Electra and (looks at smudged writing on hand) chrysanthemums [Chrysothemis] and depending on the telling just straight-up Sold Orestes. In at least three of four tellings I’m familiar with (I do not remember if it comes up in the Odyssey and I cannot be assed to check rn) Electra is 100% on board with the mother-murdering, and in Euripides she actually holds the sword with Orestes and helps him physically do it which is fucking metal I adore Electra with my entire heart. Like. Yes the final argument Aeschylus gives to acquit Orestes (that the father is more closely related to the child than the mother) is utter bullshit but he also doesn’t (directly) address a lot of the factors that are Very Relevant to us today (like, any of the non-avenging-his-father reasons for Orestes to kill Clytemnestra, nor any of the non-because-she’s-his-mother reasons for him not to), so I think analysis can and should go well beyond what Aeschylus brings up

Anyway I. I swear this isn’t an anti-Clytemnestra post this is just a pro-acknowledging Clytemnestra’s complexity post because frankly she (and Iphigenia, and Electra) is WAY too cool a character to be oversimplified how I keep seeing. I mean I don’t know what I expected to happen to one of the most juicily morally gray stories I’ve ever encountered on a site where black-and-white hot takes are encouraged but also I hope people who are big enough nerds to read my five-paragraph essay about Clytemnestra are on board for deeper analysis dhfgdhg

[geminixevans-stan]

Solve the Riddle - Part 1

Pairing: Retired Pornstar!Ari Levinson x Black!Reader

Roller Rink AU

Words: 2.4k+

Warning: 18+ Minors DNI, a smidge of mutual pining, Ari’s thick Boston accent (Definitely a warning) Pretty tame chapter, talks of previous death.

A/N: Welcome to the first installment of the Roller Rink AU! This feels so fun to write and since this chapter is pretty tame, the filthy fun should make it in the second part! Thanks again to @syntheticavenger and @olyvoyl for putting up with me! I hope everyone enjoys it! Like, Comment, & Reblog! ♥ Divider by @firefly-graphics

Au MasterList

I do not consent to my work being copied, plagiarized, or translated in any way >:P

“Gotta hand it to ya Levinson, didn’t think you would back to this old dump,” Nick said over his shoulder to the tall, beefy man following him. His crystal blues scanned the run-down rink, wondering how it got so bad. Had his father not given it to Nick, it would have been in better shape. Ari wasn’t in the right mind to take it at the time but as he got older, he was looking for something with more responsibility and he knew just where to find it.

On the day of his father’s funeral, he vowed to never step foot in the Boston town. There was nothing left here for him and he knew that he couldn’t spend another second without the man he looked up to. With a hefty inheritance, Los Angeles would be his home and the city of Boston would be just a faint memory. As he looked around the spacious area, he could see so much that needed to be changed and he had the money to do it in no time.

Following behind Nick, he paid attention to the frail old man, noticing that he had changed since the last time he had seen him. “Well, what can I say, Nick, time to pick up where my old man left off. Besides, you look like you’re well on your deathbed,” he joked letting the smirk pull at his lips.

Nick couldn’t do anything but smile at the man who looked more and more like his best friend every day, “Just a reincarnation of your old man, I tell you that. Could make the most fucked up jokes,” they both stopped at the board with all sets of keys on the hooks, “Every key is labeled and I’m sure you still remember how things go. You take care of this place, lord knows I didn’t,” he says giving the rink one last look.

For what it was worth, Nick felt he did everything he could. As his health was getting worse, he became surly and hard to deal with. He would sometimes take it out on the sweetest girls he ever laid eyes on and that was one last thing that he had to inform Ari about. “We have two employees. Sweetest girls you’ll ever meet, be easy on em. I wasn’t the best man to get along with.”

“What are their names if you don’t mind me asking. Would like to let them know what they’re walking into,” Ari knew the girls had to be special if grumpy old Nick vouched for them.

“Well you know Sarah, that’s Sam’s sister. He left some years back. Then there’s Miss Patti’s grandchild,” he gives your name, “Those two are what keep the rink afloat. Their information is on the desk as soon as you walk in,” he says, pointing to the door on their right. Ari could feel the pride fill in his chest, knowing that he was fully back to the home he knew. Los Angeles treated him well, his job would have been frowned upon if others here knew. He looked over at Nick giving him an appreciative pat on the back.

“You have my word and I will treat them like princesses,” his smile never wavering. “Thank you, Nick. For everything. If you ever need anything I’m never too far away.”

Nick’s face softens for a bit going back to his normal look, “Yeah yeah. Don’t get sappy on me now Levinson. You take care and don’t be afraid to dial me,” with that, he bid his farewell and walked out the glass double doors.

Ari walked to the door he would always walk through as a child. Thinking he would see his dad sitting in the same chair for years to only be met with emptiness. It was bittersweet, knowing that this place was all his, and couldn’t even see the proud look on his father’s face. He sat slowly down in the seat, feeling all the memories rush in at once. He could see the office didn’t change a bit, save for the updated computer that Nick probably had no hand in buying.

Leaning back in the seat, he looked at every wall and knew that every nook and cranny needed a change. He wanted this place to be just how his old man left it and put his own flair to it. Pulling his phone from his pocket, he dialed the one person he knew could bring his ideas to life and be the life of the party.

Placing the phone to his ear, he waiting for the other line to pick up, “Mickey! Ready to say goodbye to Greece or what?”

Your two off days sped by quicker than you imagined you parked your car in your same spot at the rink. Taking out your bag and slinging your skates over your shoulder, you make it to the front side. Stopping dead in your tracks, you make sure that you are at the same skating rink that you called home for four years. The front was now brand new and the neon sign was switched out for a better-looking one.

The glass doors were looking better than before and the clear material was now tinted. Whatever new management took over had got to work quicker than you thought. You had to admit that you were liking the outside changes so far and were ready to head in when you heard a familiar voice calling you from behind. Sarah had the same confused but impressed look on her face as you did, her steps stopping her next to you.

“This can’t be the same place. It just can’t!” she looks over you as you give a slight nod, “Do you know who Nick gave the rink to?” she asks taking another look at the front.

You both stare at every part of the front of the rink, taking in the new colors. They weren’t bad at all. Actually, it was like a breath of fresh air from the previous color they had. “All I got was the new management email. No name or anything. Don’t know why they wouldn’t leave a name,” of course you thought it was strange but with renovations like this, they couldn’t be all that bad.

With a nudge to Sarah’s shoulder, you pointed to the direction of the door as you began to walk up the stairs, fishing out your keys to open up the door. It was still a little early in the morning since the rink opens at noon and you nor Sarah had no idea what would meet you two beyond the doors.

As you twist the key, the door wouldn’t budge. You try again and the door doesn’t give. It dawned on you that new doors meant new locks and it looked like you two would have to wait for either the new owner to get here or bang on the doors. The choice was made for you, hearing the faint sound of the door being unlocked. You both take a step back, flowing brown locks peeking first and the most illuminated blue eyes you have ever seen. They dart from you to Sarah and then back at you.

The door opened wider, a very tall bearded man showing all of himself. He plastered a wide smile on his face, “You must be the girls Nick never shuts up about?” he asks as you furrow your brow a bit. He must have been talking about another Nick because the Nick you knew would always be so grumpy and didn’t like being bothered. You were captivated by this man and it hadn’t been two minutes yet. The way his hair fell perfectly, broad shoulders, the right about of hair covering his arms. You were in heaven and you want him to be your salvation.

Sarah looked over at you giving a small chuckle, looking back at Ari, “That’d be us! I’m Sarah and this…” her voice dying out, giving you the opportunity to say your name. Ari gave you a concerned look, trying to keep his own hormones at bay. He couldn’t help but notice how beautiful you were the second he opened the door. His old self was raging and what he wouldn’t do to have over his desk right now.

You were unlike any girl in L.A. Hell, in his profession all he saw was women and you were by far the best in his eyes. He hasn’t even gotten your name yet and he already wanted to make you crumble. Sarah slapped your arm, giving you the signal that you were definitely zoning out. Snapping out your trance you gave your name, holding on to the strap of your bag tightly. Ari said your name in his head, thinking of how he would say it while he took you a part in the filthiest of ways.

He had to focus and get through with the introductions. If the first time meeting was like this, it was sure to be difficult staying away from you in that way. Straightening his posture he shook Sarah’s hand first and then yours, even your skin was soft. Yeah, he was gonna be a goner, and the way you were looking at him, innocent as ever was going to be his downfall. “It’s nice to meet you ladies. Name’s Ari Levinson. You can say I’m just taking back the family’s business,” he beams at the two of you. “I used to go to school with Sam,” he looks over to Sarah I feel like an old man saying that.”

“Well, you sure don’t look like it,” you mutter. But you said it loud of enough for both Sarah and Ari to hear. Sarah gives you the wide eyes and Ari gives a low chuckle that makes his chest shake. “I said that out loud didn’t I?” you groaned loudly, “It’s okay fire me,” hanging your head down in shame.

Within a few seconds, Ari erupted with laughter slapping his chest in unison, “I’m not firing you because you told me I look young, sweethaht. I should give you a raise. Matter of fact let’s get inside and talk some business. I bet you’re wondering if the inside looks as good as the outside?” he questions, looking at the both of you.

Both you and Sarah gave a curt nod, watching Ari step aside to let you two step inside first before closing the door behind him. Which became the worst idea ever. If your front was beautiful, he couldn’t help but keep his eyes on the plumpest part of you. He was an ass man and you were doing it for him.

Down boy..

There before you was a rink that looked one hundred times better than the old one. You and Sarah both stood stuck in awe at how everything had changed. “H-how… How did you change everything so fast?” you ask looking over at Ari.

“With the right amount of money, anything is possible sweethaht,” his accent… it sounded so familiar. But this was Boston he sounded just like any old Bostonian man. For a second he sounded like… No chance in hell. His accent is just thick is all. His arms did match though. The mystery man had hairy arms like that too.

Stop it… Not every man with hairy arms or a strong Boston Accent is him.

Your obsession with the man whose orgasms became your own was becoming a little unhealthy. Here was someone that you could put a face too and he was the most handsome man you had ever met. You had to admit that Ari was like a masterpiece to be looked at. His smile was infectious and that hair. The prettiest strands you ever saw. You wanted to know what it would be like to tug on it just one good time. Stroke his scalp while his face is deep between your-

“Earth to weirdo! Mr. Levinson is talking to you!” Sarah bellowed out. Dammit, you zoned out again. This man was going to be the death of you and in some way, you were ready to die if it meant he was waiting on the other end of eternity.

“You both can call me Ari. No need to be formal here. But yes sweethaht, just wondering if you’re ready to head back so we can discuss some things?” That accent again.

Just breathe, you’re acting like a teenager again.

You did a quick nod as Ari lead to way. Sarah did a quick nudge, whispering in your ear, “wanna napkin for that drool on your lip?” she smirked as you placed your fingers to the corners and bottom of your lip. Sarah let out a small giggle, before following the steady path to the office. Before the whole group could make it there, the double doors opened, making everyone turn their heads.

Ari’s face lit up, showing his perfect smile once more. “Well look what Greece blew in. I thought you’d nevah get here ya meatball,” he bellowed out at the man coming closer to everyone. You looked over at Sarah who looks simply star-struck. Basically how you looked earlier.

You brought the tip of your finger to her bottom lip, pushing it back up, “Want a napkin for that drool?” you say mockingly. She shot you a glare that made you stifle a giggle. The man in question made it to a smiling Ari, you holding in a laugh, and Sarah trying to keep her composure.

He gave a friendly smile to everyone, looking over at Ari, “Would have been here earlier but had to see the sights first.”

Ari chuckled, bringing in the man into a warm bear hug. You wondered how those arms would feel around your…

Focus!

“Ladies meet Mickey Henry. He’s gonna grace us with his DJ skills here at the rink,” Ari says patting Mickey on the back.

“He’s working here?!” Sarah questions as everyone snaps their heads towards her. It took everything in you to keep together and Ari could see you, giving you a knowing look.

Mickey looked over at Sarah, swiping his tongue over his bottom lip, “Yeah and it should be fun if I get to look at you all day.” Oh, he was gonna be dangerous. You take a look at Sarah and if you didn’t know any better, her thighs were lightly pressing together. She was already hooked and had so much to say about you.

“Ignore him, Sarah, he’s a natural flirt. Jeez punk let her breathe first,” Ari says to Mickey before letting him go. “Okay! So who’s ready for shots and business?”

This was definitely new management…

[neurodivergent-uni-support-group]

Potential learning/assignment tips from a neurodivergent linguistics graduate

Alright, I said I didn’t really have techniques that worked for me while studying but it would be more accurate to say I did have some, I just had to regularly cycle through them rather than sticking to the same thing every time. So I’m just gonna put some things that helped here in case they’re useful to anyone else. If I think of anything else or anyone else has tips they want to add, I will reblog them! Some of them may involve apps and I’ll say which ones I used but they are all windows or android.

Tl;dr, rest under the cut:

External screen-recorders for sessions

Going to lectures/seminars/labs/one-to-ones

Note-taking

Text-to-speech and other tips for essential reading

Planning for deadlines (University of Kent Assignment Survival Kit)

Pomodoro Technique

If you have online meetings/lectures/seminars and can get permission, it’s extremely useful to be able to have an external screen-recorder. This is particularly useful if you struggle to keep up when taking notes or zone out a lot as it means you can rewatch lectures and meetings later. If you are in contact with the Disability Team at your university already, this is a very useful thing to have on your Learning Support Plan (something I’ll go into in another post if I remember) and can be translated to face-to-face learning through audio recorders (or lecture captures if your university is lucky enough to have them). If you can’t go through the Disability Team for whatever reason though, it’s still worth emailing your lecturers to ask if it’s possible to record sessions. I emphasise using an external screen-recorder because most lecturers are a lot more comfortable with only you being able to access the recording rather than using the Team recording function and everyone being able to access it. There’s a chance they will say no depending on recording permissions other people have given in your class, but it’s so worth it if they say yes. For specific apps, I use Screen Recorder Pro (Windows) on my laptop and XRecorder (Android) on my phone, both of which are free and seem to do the job well enough.

Speaking of lectures/seminars/labs, I can’t emphasise enough, you need to go to as many as you physically can. Even if you don’t think you’ll learn anything and know the lecture’s going to be available online later, just showing up makes you more familiar to the lecturers (meaning when the time comes for assignments they’ll be a lot more willing to go the extra mile to help you) and you might passively recall some of the session even if it’s not a huge amount. I’d also encourage where possible getting out your notepad and pen/laptop and just writing down everything you see/hear if you’re really struggling with concentration. When it comes to looking back at your notes later, the more information you have about the lecture the less steps you have to take to piece together everything that was covered, especially if your university doesn’t have a lecture capture.

This goes double for one-to-one sessions with lecturers for assignments – if you have the opportunity to book one, take it. If you’re already confident with the topic and don’t have any questions, you can go over your plan with the lecturer and they can give you any tips you have, reinforce that confidence and feel confident themselves that you know what you’re doing. If you’re so confused that you don’t even know where to begin with asking questions, it may sound cliché but your lecturers are there to help. Either they can help you feel more confident in an idea you’re unsure about or they can help point you in the right direction of reading for the topic. This comes back to the point about showing up to sessions, because if they’ve seen you there regularly they already have a good idea of what knowledge you have and where specifically you may be struggling.

Note-taking is a skill that I’m sure people have already talked about a lot and I don’t know a huge amount about. However, I do know that if you’re like me and want to write down everything you see/hear, you need to make any tasks you have to do as visible as possible. If you’re typing your notes, you can make it bold/underline it/start the line with “TASK”/anything like that. If you’re writing them out, you can use highlighters, draw a star or something next to it in the margin, anything like that.

Then when you’re done with the lecture, I know how easy it is to just sigh and move on with your day, but if you can it’s important to write these down somewhere you’ll remember to do them, whether that be putting them in your google calendar with a reminder set, writing them on a post-it note next to your desk or bed, whatever will get you to consistently remember it’s a task to do rather than forgetting until the day you need to have it done by. I tend to have a weekly task list on Evernote (because I use it for literally everything anyway) that I can add to and if you have the Evernote app (Android) it now has a scratch pad visible when you first go into the app, so you can add and remove things without having to go through and find the right note.

Have essential reading to do each week but struggle with actually sitting down and reading? If you can access pdf versions of the reading, text-to-voice apps mean you can listen to the reading while doing things that require passive focusing rather than active. By this, I mean you can load up the pdf of the reading onto your phone and listen to it while you are travelling/cleaning/cooking/etc. so you have can’t get stuck reading the same line over and over again. This probably won’t make you remember everything, but it means when you go back and have to take notes on the reading, it’s a lot easier to skim through and pick up the most important parts to write down. Depending on the app, some also allow you to listen to it read slower or faster depending on what your brain cooperates with the most. The app I use for this is @Voice (Android), which has adverts at the bottom of the page but is free.

Speaking of doing reading, if your books have summaries at the end of each chapter, read those first. If you are writing notes on a screen they tend to give you easy bullet points to start with and expand on when going through the main reading but most of all they mean if you run out of time to finish reading the whole thing before your session, you still know the main points of the chapter. If it’s an article or essay, the same goes for reading the conclusion first. A good conclusion summarises what the question they’re answering is, how they went about answering it and what answer they got.

Every course and university is different, but mine did all but a few assignments at the end of each term. That’s a lot of writing in a single period of time, especially if the module hasn’t required you to write essays throughout. While you hear a lot about people banging out their essays in twelve hours before the deadline or your lecturers encourage you to get it done weeks in advance, it’s better to get to know your limits and what works best for you. That’s not to say doing it further in advance isn’t the best option, it definitely is, but I know my brain refuses to finish the essay until 24 hours before the deadline. It’s going to be trial-and-error, but if you want a good plan to work from in the beginning University of Kent has an Assignment Survival Kit, where you input the type of assignment, the day you start it and the deadline, and it works out general deadlines you want to work towards for each section.

For me personally, I’ve always printed out a calendar up until the final deadline where I work out which days I’m dedicating to each module (not specific tasks, just the general module) because I’m not very good at switching between topics within the same day.

I’m gonna switch to a new section for this part because it’s more about writing up assignments than the planning, but one concept you may hear from academics and student support is the Pomodoro Technique. This was introduced to me by my Student Support Guidance Tutor and it’s where you give yourself a task, set a timer for 25 minutes, work for those 25 minutes, take a 5 minute break, and then repeat. This doesn’t really work for me because zoning out is an inevitability so it’s better to give myself a more general task (like continuing to work on a paragraph) and longer work/break times (32 minutes work/11 minutes break). The technique also only works for me like 48 hours before the deadline when I’m panicking about not being done in time. I say this to emphasise that the Pomodoro Technique may not work with those specific times for some people and may not work at all for others, but it’s good to try it out with different times to see what works for you. Additionally, when I take breaks, I can’t take passive breaks because then I start thinking about all of the things I still need to do and just get stressed. Instead I have an Emotional Support Deadline Videos playlist on YouTube that I watch so I’m distracted by that rather than thinking. I’d link it but unless you’re interested in watching Wilbur Soot and mcyt videos, it’s probably not gonna be useful so I’d encourage making your own.

That's everything I can think of at the moment! Hopefully at least one of these can help people get through their next year of uni more smoothly. If there's any questions or anything I may have missed, please let me know!

[lov3nerdstuff]

Hi Kay!

I just wanted to take a moment and say how deeply moving (and overall comforting) I find your writing to be! I've gone through almost the entirety of your masterlist twice in the past month alone and have found myself returning more often to the pieces of literature/poems your reference sometimes. (Especially that one poem by Benedict Smith! I've read a few more by him because of you and they're just wonderfully lovely 💛 so I'm eternally thankful to you for including it.)

I may be wrong in assuming, but I believe you may have studied/are currently studying a degree involving literature. I hope this isn't too foreward of me but I was wandering if you have any other works of literature that you'd recommend? (I'd love to read anything you recommend from poems to plays 💛) I'm slightly embaressed to say but the works I've read are quite limited to a highschool level and since I'm currently studying Pharmacy, there are very few people who can recommend me such moving works. :)

I also feel like I should apologise for writing such a large ask, so please accept this apology as well hehe 💕🥺

Sincerely,

Bek 🌻

Hey there Bek 💚💕✨

First of all... I'm incredibly sorry for how long it took me to reply to this ask, I know you sent it weeks ago and I'm honestly just ashamed of myself for only replying now! I've been taking a bit of a Tumblr break again, or rather a break from literally everything, and I guess not having written anything in a while made me feel guilty whenever I opened Tumblr, so... All I can say for myself really is that I'm sorry you had to wait so long! Again, I never ever ignore anyone, I promise! It just sometimes takes a while for me to reply 😅🙈

Now, I'm so happy to hear that you've been enjoying my writing! 🥺🥰 Hearing that it's comforting and inspiring to you is honestly such a relief and indeed does make me happy more than I can say 💚 It's so cool that you're checking up on all the references I make aaahhh 🥺🥺🥺 I love it 😁 You're always more than welcome, love! I don't think I could stop including references to literature, culture, history and the science around it even if I tried 😅☺️

And yeah, I did study classics and newer literature as a minor for my undergrad degree 😄 But tbh I still work with literally a lot even now (I'm in grad school for media and cultural studies) even though it's technically not something I've been properly taught ☺️ I'm just a nerd who likes to learn on her own, and with media and culture you can pretty much delve into almost anything you want 😂😅🤷🏻‍♀️

Now, it's not forward at all to ask me for literature recommendations! 😁😃 I truly love recommending stuff!!! I have a few up my sleeve, even though you've probably heard of a few already, for obvious reasons: A lot of what I truly enjoyed reading was something Tom Hiddleston has worked on in one way or another! It's truly a magnificent guideline for picking new literature... Just look up the literary origins of his films/shows/plays and you will be in for quality literature most of the time! I don't think I've ever mentioned it on here, but me reading High-Rise (JG Ballard) because I heard Tom would be partaking in the film adaptation was actually what sparked my love and passion for literature!!! Yep, it's that good. Now on to the recommendations though 😁(This... got rather long):

Plays

Anything by Harold Pinter really, but for obvious reasons you'll find a lot of additionally fun stuff for Betrayal, which is lovely and truly funny if you're in on the kind of humour btw

Medea by Euripides (a classic, but I love it nonetheless... You can find translations in almost every language) ((and pls stay away from Seneca's Medea, because ugh... Euripides is far better AND the og story, as much as anyone can say that for Greek mythology)

La Bohème by Puccini (I know, this is technically an opera, but if you read the libretto it's honestly just like a play... And if you're up for it, the og story is in prose and written by Henri Murger... It's better than the opera, but oftentimes more difficult to find) ((this one is hilarious and basically explains an entire cultural subgroup in the 19th century)

Faust by Goethe (many people hate it, but I LOVE this one!!! It's also been translated into any and every language, and it's so interesting philosophically!!! It's also referenced SO freaking often literally everywhere, and the operas and ballets based on it are always my fave) ((there's technically Faust I and Faust II, but you're good to go just reading the first one)

Anything by Shakespeare, obviously... Though I do love me my Hamlet like every other literature enthusiast (Yes, I can do that one famous soliloquy in act 3 scene 1 by heart as well...)

Poetry

Again, anything Shakespeare for the win, but I LOVE the sonnets and keep a copy of them with me most of the time (Yes, I own multiple copies of the sonnets...) ((My faves are 116 and 91, but there's always so much truth to be found in there!!!))

A lot of the stuff William Blake wrote is amazing, though you have to pick carefully with him if certain religious motives aren't your thing... I love The Tyger, which is an individual poem, and the collection of works called Tyger, Tyger which does have many good ones and a few ones that are a little more on the mediocre side

Do not go gentle into that good night by Dylan Thomas (I know this one by heart as well... It's beautiful, and there's a version of Hiddleston reading it on YouTube, which gives you even more goosebumps than the poem does anyway)

Invictus by William Ernest Henley (same for this one, also read by the one and only) ((I love to read this when I'm feeling down or powerless))

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by T. S. Eliot (This is another wow piece with many quotable lines and truths... I love it a lot and keep coming back to it! It's also a great example of how literary modernism tried to condense the complexity and passing of time and history into a single frame that had to be intrinsically poetical in nature... As in, this poem could've been a short story in any other period, but modernists loved to make everything a poem so here you go)

Der Zauberlehrling by Goethe (This one sucks in all English translations I’ve found, poetically speaking, but in German it’s such a fun piece! If you’ve ever seen the Disney ‘The Sorcerer’s Apprentice’ with Mickey Mouse or listened to the orchestral piece by Paul Dukas, then this poem proves very useful in truly understanding either! But again, the English translation should only be taken for informational value... The German one is also worded hilariously)

Prose

Short edited by Alan Ziegler (This is a collection of short prose forms that honestly is a must for me... I love this book to pieces and have had it for years now! It’s an international anthology, so you’ll find more and less famous authors from all around the world represented with short stories, prose poems, short essays and just curious and interesting snippets of writing! I draw a lot of inspiration from this book)

High-Rise by JG Ballard (As mentioned above, I owe this book part of my personality... I don’t think I would be the same person without having read it. It’s not necessarily full of wisdom, but if you’re interested in a different kind of portrayal of the human condition, then this is the read you need to take a look at)

The City of Dreaming Books by Walter Moers (This is another piece that changed my perception of literature, even though this is a more ordinary and ‘fun’-value read... It’s one of my favourite books and it’s endlessly entertaining! So if the classics are a bit heavy for you, this one is perfect for casual readers as well! Its value really does lie more in the realisation of how fun literature can be, and the freedom you have as an author... So really, I could recommend everything by Moers, his style is amazing both in the German original and in the English translation. Yes, I’ve read both.)

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett (This is comedic gold, stylistic gold and generally a bloody perfect book. Also a ‘fun’-value read, but it also does a magnificent job at showing you what you can do with literature, and how well-developed characters are supposed to be written)

The Penguin Book of the Undead (Penguin Classics) edited by Scott G. Bruce (This book is basically an education on fifteen hundred years of supernatural encounters and how culture wrote, used and perceived them. You get introductory texts for different periods and social groups, explaining how and why ghost stories were written and used, followed by passages of the prime source texts (eg. ancient necromancy shown on The Odyssey). Really, this book is just for cultural history nerds)

The Earthquake in Chile by Kleist (This isn’t necessarily one of my faves, but it has helped me understand what studying literature and culture can do for you. In case anyone remembers my insistence in Wicked Game that you gotta know what a pomegranate symbolises... this novella is such an instance where this knowledge would prove useful. Generally, it gives many opportunities to think about privilege and circumstance)

The Symposium by Plato (You’ll probably not want to read the entire collection of speeches tbh... But the concepts introduced mainly here and in some of Plato’s other work are well worth looking into! For example, the ‘double being’ introduces a concept that in modern fiction is called soulmates... Just sayin’)

[cowboyjen68]

Recently I’ve been debating getting top surgery. I know that some butches get top surgery and seem happy with the results but I’ve also met some who grew out of their discomfort with time. So I guess I’m debating if I should wait to see if maybe the discomfort around my chest will ease with age or if I should look into getting top surgery. The ones I’ve talked to also had this discomfort about their breast growing during puberty but they said after some time it decreased but for mines it seems like a problem that hasn’t gone away.

I am so sorry for the delay, seems work and side gigs are taking up a lot of my time lately. 

I can only speak from my experience with my body and from other lesbians I talk to... and I talk to a lot. I have many friends across generations. Many of my younger friends are butch but not all. My older friends are a myriad of types of lesbians and as diverse as the greater population. This weekend now that we are all vaccinated we had a campfire with 12 lesbian, 5 butches present. We have definitely had discussions about our breasts, discomfort, and the mourning over loosing breasts to cancer (or the danger of cancer).  Most of my buddies, from 19 to 68 share similar stories about learning to be at least “okay” with their bodies in a world where our physical attributes are often used to define our personality, and our worth. 

One thing we ALL share, as women, not just lesbians, is that we were at best dissatisfied that we have breasts starting as soon as they begin to form. I was 7 when mom told me I had to wear a shirt outside. Wow was I pissed. AND as a 7 years old I knew it had nothing to do with me but everyone seemed just fine with the fact that men were the issue but since we can’t change them we must change our own behavior.

 I remember thinking “how is me not wearing a shirt a problem”. Breasts had been neutral for me at that point. Just another part of my body. Once I realized “they” made me different, more vulnerable, more controlled, less “human” than those around me without breasts I turned my hate on my body instead of the people who really were to blame. Just like I was taught, I can’t control the men but I perhaps I could control my body. 

I have raised at least 10 teenage daughters (2 are lesbians now) my youngest adopted is 15 and when her other mom told her to put on a shirt in the summer of her 8th birthday, even in our rural yard she looked at me dead in the eye and said “why haven’t you fixed this yet?” (meaning women’s bodies being subject to the eyes and opinions of men). I wonder.. why haven’t we? She is the youngest, but all the others grew from hating their breasts to at least neutral, some really love their bodies and that is lovely. 

Lesbians are unique in our dealings of men’s opinions because we never need or want the approval of men in relation to our bodies. The opposite in fact.. we would prefer they see us void of anything they find sexual. Many women, straight, bi, lesbian eventually either learn to give no shits about the opinions of men or they learn to work around that feeling.

Ok.. all that being said, my story. My breasts are B cups, perhaps C’s when I was a bit heavier weight wise. I wore regular bras WITH padding and always as tight as a could to make them less noticeable. When I came out i switched to sports bras because i was embracing being butch and no longer wanted to play the game of wearing  “pretty bra” . I never wore tight shirts, always baggy. I wore the tightest bra I could wear to keep my breasts smaller, less visible. FOR YEARS. 

Going to a women’s festival opened my eyes to the many ways bodies can be. The many ways BUTCH bodies can exist. Women went topless and NO one sexualized them. (except when appropriate-- like while flirting etc when it was welcomed). Thousands of people, many topless and no one, not one person was oogled, cat called, teased, or otherwise treated as different than someone wearing a shirt.  What did they all share? Why was it different than in other places? Women. All women and mostly lesbians. However that did not automatically translate to “I am going back to the real world and giving no fucks about the reality of existing with breasts in our world”. It took time.

I no longer wear a bra just an undershirt. BUT I am in control of where I go, who I interact with most of the time. If I was still at my retail job, I’d probably still wear a bra. I no longer dislike my breasts. I love them. They bring me pleasure, they bring my girlfriend pleasure. They are a lovely part of me BUT that does not mean I am not very aware in public of my nipples being visible or of people noticing I am braless. And I imagine it is harder for women with larger breasts. 

Had binders been a “thing”, had I had access to a double  mastectomy, or the idea of it i cannot say that would have pursued either. The pattern suggests I would have. But again., neither were on my radar, not options presented to me or encouraged as a way to solve my discomfort.

 I have  three friends who have had elective double mastectomies. And many who had one to prevent or remove cancer. Several of them suffer consistent and painful nerve damage that is not treatable, is quite common, is unpredictable (they can’t know who will have it) and possibly life long. Of the three who were trying to alleviate the distress of dysphoria, all three regret the decision and none of them are over 30 yet. These women are all lesbians. Those who had the surgery because of cancer are thrilled to be happy and alive with less worry, although they do deal with nerve issues and mourn the loss of a part of their body. 

I have a few trans men friends, although we are not close. A  couple of them have had double mastectomies but their thoughts or feelings have not come up, we are just not close enough for such a personal discussion and none have had the surgery for more than 2 years.  I have had lots of older lesbians friends (and a few younger) who did get breast reduction surgery and their health and mental health were both improved. Their backs are better, their clothes fit better and they feel more active, less self conscious with out the physical risks of a full mastectomy. 

The easy answer and what I WANT to say, is be patient, find lots of older lesbians friends to show you your body is neutral, men are the problem. Give yourself time to understand that your breasts are as butch as the rest of you. They are a natural part of your body and how you are meant to be. Also, I know there is not an easy answer. Men will continue to exist. They will continue to sexualize lesbians (with or without breasts). I didn’t outgrow wishing my breasts could just disappear(in public settings) until my 40′s but it got easier and easier to sort of “live with it”. I am many times over grateful for my healthy breasts now. 

Seek therapy.. and not someone who will just go along with what ever you say. My therapists works me hard. She makes me answer the hard questions. She has me vocalize things that I don’t even want to admit in my head let alone out loud. Find one like that. Find one who is willing to explore all the reasons your breasts cause you distress. Then, if you decide to proceed, you can do so knowing you were worth the hard work and you can feel more confident in making an informed decision. Don’t make any decisions based on the opinions of men. Your body. YOUR decision. Write that down on a post it and keep it somewhere you will see it. 

If you would like to speak to some others who are struggling with how you feel or want to talk to lesbians who can tell you about their double mastectomies, DM me, perhaps I can connect you. 

If  anyone wants to add their experience in the notes please be kind. No judgement for anyone making such a difficult decision. 

One last thing to this long post. From one butch to another.  I care about you and I am saddened and angry at  bull shit you have to wade through in this world. I get it. You are not alone.