#wrting humor

[writeouswriter]

Moving up in the writing world*

*Opened the correct untitled WIP document on the first try

[yeahpeoplecallmeweird]

"A man does what he can; a woman does what a man cannot."

- Isabel Allende, Inés of My Soul

[writingfrommysoulforsomeone]

Just some chicken soup

Summary: A girl wanted to make soup but instead she got a weird visitor

A/N is very short and I wrote this at like 2 am.

wordcount: 500 words

She wanted to make a traditional chicken soup and now she is standing in her kitchen completely confused by what is happening.

She followed the steps in the cooking book by her grandmother. She didn't use different ingredients or miss out on steps. When her grandmother gave her this cooking book, she said, she would make special meals. Her grandmother however did not mention that the soup would start glowing.

She slowly approached the bowl. The soup was still glowing red. Then suddenly the soup started smoking. And then a loud crash came.

In front of her was now standing a red creature looking at her like she was the problem in this whole situation and not itself.

"How? How were you able to summon me?!" It screamed at her

She looked down at the recipe and screamed back "I don't know! you were supposed to be chicken soup, not a red weird looking creature."

"I don't look weird! Do you not know who I am? And again how did you summon me?!" It screamed again

"No. No, I do not know who you are nor do I care. I am hungry and I wanted to try out one of the recipes from my grandmother. And the only thing I got is a weird thing that screams at me." She said in distress

The creature looks at her for a moment and then said:" give me the book and I am not a thing I am a demon."

The demon took the cooking book from her and read through it and looked at her confused

"Did you follow every step in this?" The demon asked in a tone that sounded like it was trying to calm itself

"Yes. Why? she said sounding confused

"Did you put everything that is listed here in the soup?" It still sounded like it wanted to be calm but it was very much failing at doing so

Yes. I don't understand why you are asking."

"Every Ingredient?"

"Yes."

"Why the fuck would you put chicken blood in a soup" It screamed again

she tried to explain herself "but the recipe said-"

It cut her off and screamed again"It also said to mix egg yolk with the blood of a kid. Did that not sound weird to you at all."

"Well yes but just because I couldn't get kid blood easily and the kid kept struggling," she explained, and then as an afterthought, she added "that was a mess"

...

"And I thought I am the evil one of the two of us," The demon said while thinking if it can retire

The girl just smiled at him and then asked:" You still own me a chicken soup"

The demon just groaned in annoyance

[kitorin]

Omg souta ive been recommended as like a writer a few times before and like I DONT THINK MY WRTING IS THAT GOOD??

My humor is cringe (literally everyone is so tired) i have like a good chunk of wrting mistakes and like..i cant describe things that well AGAIN, I ALMOST CALLED SOMETHING DARK BLACK,,,TF IS DARK BLACK.

OMG CONGRATULATIONS?? I've only been recommended once but it's one of the best feelings ever as a writer.

I DOUBT THAT BC YOU'RE SUCH A FUN PERSON OVERALL AND WHO TF HASN'T SAID DARK BLACK (or anything similar) EVERY WRITER HAS DONE IT AT LEAST ONCE I GUARANTEE YOU

[someone-else-reading13]

why make a character mood board when you can make a vine compilation about said character?

[kiramartinauthor]

FAQ Masterpost:

WRITING TIPS:

How To Stay Positive

Write Stories That Are Problematic 

On Being Distracted By Your Phone 

How To Write a Synopsis 

Quick and Easy Writing Tip for Social Media

8 Tips to Get You Through NaNoWriMo

Top Ten First Page Turn Offs

How to Limit Hand Stress (EDS oriented)

How to Write Dragons

How to Write ESL

How to Choose a Story Idea

“Help! How do I connect a plot hole?”

How to Stick to a Writing Schedule (and Keep It)

The Importance of Exposition 

8 Ways to Get Past Writer’s Block 

^^^ Video Version

Writing a Sword Fight Scene

Why You Should Write Horribly 

Finding Your Audience 

5 Ways to Write Solid Description

How to Make Your Readers Cry

Scrivener PSA - a Great Writing Software

Creating a Language 

CHARACTER TIPS:

How To Write Characters Outside of Your Identity

5 Ways to Develop a Convincing Character

How to Write Strong Dialogue

POV Writing Exercise

How Do Characters Bond?

How to Choose Your MC’s Personality

Writing a Mute Character

How to Write a Bisexual Character

How to Avoid Insta-Love

Writing Gray Characters

How to Write Believable Romance

EDITING TIPS:

Stuck? Do this

How to Use -, –, and — 

How to Read Like a Writer

For Writers Who Edit When They Should Be Writing

Getting an Editor - Yes or No?

How to Up Your Editing Game

NETWORKING:

How to Find Beta Readers

On Paying Beta Readers

How To Find a Critique Partner

What To Expect From A Critique Partner

When Considering Feedback

How to Enter Into Contests/Magazines

How to Write a Query/Cover Letter

Marketing Tips

How to Make Connections

WRITING INSPIRATION:

How to Find Inspiration to Write

If You Write Fanfic, Are You a Writer?

If You Need Someone to Tell You to Write

How to Stop Being a Beginning Writer

Stop Feeling Bad

Read Your Old Work Like This

To the Writers Who Don’t Write

On Cliches 

The Steps of Writing 

Why You Should Keep Writing Anyways

Do YOU Deserve Support?

Feeling Anxious About Writing?

Reminder About Writer’s Block

Need a Pep Talk?

WRITING FUNNIES:

America’s Next Top Writer

The Five Types of Writers

Need a lol? Have a meme

And another. Because commas are terrible

On writing fight scenes

On plot twists

On story ideas

On writer’s block

Writers: What They Say vs What They Mean

How to Kick Start a Writing Session

Writing and Friendship and Sacrifice 

Fun Fact

15 Things That Make Writer’s Anxious 

First Drafts Suck

Funny with a twist (also my most popular post ever)

Search “writing humor” on my blog for a ridiculous amount more

FIRST SENTENCE FRIDAY (FSF):

On My Opinion 

Submitting BEFORE/AFTER Friday?

How to Write a Good Sentence

CLOVER RAINE AND THE BLACK DRAGON:

Synopsis

Prologue

Chapter One

Mood Board

World Building

Excerpt

Comic

MORE CONTENT:

WEBSITE

INSTAGRAM

YOUTUBE

FACEBOOK

If you find my blog helpful, please consider throwing a tip my way :)

💜 Kira

[spicy-space-bois]

Cyrus: *singing in his room*

Cyrus: *is actually doing good*

Garret: *barges into cyrus's room*

Garret: hey Cyrus! I didn't know you could sing!

Cyrus: *blushing* get out of my effing room!

Garret: but you were singing nicely!

Cord: *barges into the room* did I hear singing?

*Leto and Steve also enter the room*

Cyrus: *has gone tomato*

Garret: aw, poor little cyrus is blushing!

Cyrus: *mutters shut up*

Garret: the little baby is shy!

Cyrus: *legit pushes everyone out his room*

Cyrus: go suck on a lemon garret.

[pointman74250]

I’m a professional writer, meaning only monetary gain for my art will suffice. That also means (voice breaking) I have nothing.

Joseph Lewis Szabo III (I’m a realist. Being hungry is pretty damn real.)

[resonatingfern]

If you are stlll doing the "I love you" wrting prompt thing, may I request 89 and Vasche?

I will take any excuse to write my sad dragon boy, thank you for asking!

89. I noticed

- Trahearne found Vasche by the water’s edge, his claws circling ripples in the oily surface. He was facing away, looking out beyond the shore and towards the distant horizon broken by spires of coral crusted stone. It had been some time since Vasche had wandered away from their small camp, and Trahearne knew if left to his own devices he could end up staying here until the dawn.

Carefully making his way through the field of stones and tide pools, Trahearne approached the rock on which Vasche was perched. He sat down next to him, smiling to himself as he felt the familiar weight of wings settle around his shoulders.

He was quiet for while as he watched the seafoam form and surge around the rocks. It was steadily becoming a pattern for he and Vasche to spend evenings in silence, broken only now and then by comments or questions or the occasional soft, moist sound of their lips coming together.

When the first stars lit up above them, he turned his gaze from the sea to Vasche.

“Is this place special to you?”

“No.” Vasche looked away too, and focused his eyes on Trahearne. The glow behind them flared in the growing starlight, surging through Traheane like venmon. “I don’t know what this place used to be. It’s unrecognizable.”

Vasche sighed once, sharp and quick. He looked back to the water, and Traheaene felt his wings stiffen before relaxing once again.

“I’d like to leave.”

“Of course. We can walk back to —“

“No,” Vasche interrupted, shaking his head.  “I’d like to leave Orr.”

“Oh?”

The news surprised Trahearne, and he was certain it showed on his face. Vasche had many times stated how Orr was his home, whatever state it was in. During the months they spent wandering it together there had been  unrestrained fondness in his voice when he spoke of it and all the stories and memories that went along. Now, melancholy and tired, Vasche’s mind must have changed.

“Well, there are many other places in Tyria for you to see,” Trahearne continued after a pause. Whatever had caused Vasche’s decision, he would not attempt to dissuade him. “Do you have any place you’d like to go?”

“With you.”

Vasche’s quick answer once again caught Traheane unprepared.

“With… me?”

“Yes.” Vasche’s eyes bore into him again, though this time Traheane thought he saw a hint of unease behind them.  “Do you not want me to?”

“No, no,” he answered quickly. To put weight behind it he moved closer to Vashce, letting his wings fold him in further. “I very much enjoy having you with me, Vasche.”

Vashe nodded, seemingly satisfied with the answer.

“I noticed.”

Trahearne chuckled, Vasche’s calm, matter of fact comment striking him as humorous in the dry way he’d come to expect. He reached out and took his hand, turning it over in his palm and bringing it to his lips.

“Well if that is the case,”  he said, punctuating his words with a kiss to Vasche’s knuckles before letting both their hands rest in his lap.  “If you can hold out until my work here is finished, I will happily take you anywhere.”

Vasche’s claws tensed then relaxed in Trahearne’s lap. He felt his hand gently turned, and his fingers entwine with Vasche’s.

“I can wait,” Vasche said, and Treahearne knew it was the truth. Vasche had spent centuries waiting, and it still left him partially dazed to contemplate that he had been waiting for him. “I’m very patient.”

Trahearne chuckled again, the sound bouncing off the water and foam. He was patient, too. His wyld hunt would soon come to an end, and after that the world would be open for the two of them to explore, together.

[andyfire122]

When you get this you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers.<3

Awww, thank you night.

1. My crativity

2. Sense of humor

3. My music. I always love to listen

4.My wrting . Its what I love and I’ve gottten to a point where I like what I make.

5. My sense of style. I don’t care what people say. I like my comfy cloths.

[yeahpeoplecallmeweird]

"The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord."

Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one."

-Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals 

[seprofcorp]

“TYIFFANY HADISH”(”WHAT ELSE CAN I SAY”(PROBALY A BIT MORE(MUST GIVE MYSELF A REST AFTER WRTING THE ARTICLE BELOW}

WHAT CAN I , WILL I,AM ,I CAPABLE OF SAYING, THAT HASN'T ALREADY BEEN SAID??. DISCOVERED THIS " VIBRANT, YET OH SO "KOOL"(MY GENERATION, YOURS SEEMS TO BE" DOPE",(HEY, SCOOZE ME PLZ, MY COMPREHENSION MAY BE ALTERED FROM ADVANCING AGE(NOT TOO MUCH DRUGS WHEN MUCH YOUNGER-WOULD U BELIEVE "RIGHT OUT OF THE WOMB?..WELL, CAN'T FAULT ME FOR TRYING("IF I'M LYIN' I'M DYIN"(WHO THE HECK SAID THIS ICONIC GEM/(JUDGE JUDY, MATHIS, MARILYN, ED KOCH..NAH),POINT"(NOT ON MY BALD SPOT-NEVER EXPANDED LIKE "THE BLOB"(STEVE MCQUEEN" ORIGINAL THE BEST)="DOPE", NOT "DOPEY"(REMEMBER "CHEECH, W/DON JOHNSON, IN "NASH":WHAT  HE USED TO SAY & DESCRIBE SOME NUMB NUTS AS " DOPEY", ALSO ONE OF THE (NOT THE "3" STOOGES", BUT THE " "7" SNOW WHITE DWARFS"(IMAGINE(JOHN LENNON " MEGA HIT"(ALL ON SPARKLING WHITE, SEE VIDEO, SHE=YOKO, ALSO IN WHITE(DIDN'T KNOW "ASIANS" GO FOR FORMAL WHITES(YOKO(IMOHO) IS A KNOCK OUT BEAUTY INSIDE & OUT, WHEREVER EVER SHE APPEARS, OR NOT("GIVE PEACE A CHANCE" HOTEL VIDEO< UNDER THE COVERS W/JOHN), (NON PREGNANT PAUSE HERE(PLZ, "ME TOO.ORG", THSI IS NOT A "SEXUAL KNOCK OR SLUR"< JUST"BAD ATTEMPTS AT HUMOR";WELL, SOME " GUYS, SAY, SO I'VE BEEN TOLD-("NOT LYIN' ")(HEY,(TO ME, FOR A SHORT, WHITE "JEW BOY" FROM THE BRONX, U(ME) HAVE A BIG SET OF "KAHOONAS"(ALLEGED, CAUSE ONLY SEEN BY CERTAIN FEW?( AT LEAST "1" THE SPOUSE, HAS "ECHOED THIS FACT"??DID SHE say it to make me feel better, was she coerced, was she stoned on "dope"(HECK, NOPE, STRAIGHT AS AN ARROW, WITH THE CURVES("SLIP SLIDING AWAY" PAUL SIMON, ART GARFUNKEL" MEGA HIT")?WELL A BIT MORE THEN A FEW), LADIES WHO CAN BE CATEGORIZED AS " THE LOVES OF MY LIFE"(DID THEY, DO THEY REALLY LOVE, ME'??"IT'S TOO LATE BABY, TOO LATE"(CAROL KING MEGA HIT"(DID CARLY SIMON RE-RECORD IT TOO(WHAT A "DOPE" MUSICAL ARTISTIC, PHYSICAL STUNNING( TO ME,)(LOVE HER SINGING SPEAKING VOICE:SHOULD SHE HAVE MARRIED ME AFTER DIVORCE WITH "JAMES', hey< i'm just saying'(me, 1./2 A**ED AMATEUR MUSICIAN, WRITER OF ALMOST./OVER 1000 SONGS, ONLY 1 HAS WRITTEN SHEET TYPE MUSIC, UNPUBLISHED SEMI AUTO BIOG, & 1 &3/4  SCI-FI SHORT SEQUELLED STORIES(THANK YOU, "EVELYN" ENCOUNTER AT "BLUE MARTIN"(APRIL 16TH, 2006, I SEEM TO REMEMBER)(THIS "WOMAN" MORPHED INTO STARRING ROLE IN THESE ""LADY FELINE VAMPIRE" EFFORTS, + SEVERAL "SONGS(I'MA POET AND SHE WILL NEVER "KNOW IT"(UNLESS :A) MIRACLE OF PUBLISHING, AND/OR "1# HIT SONG/N.Y. TIMES BEST SELLER, (B) SHE STUMBLES UPON THIS FACEBOOK, MANY OLD CHROME/FACEBOOK/TWITTER " & NOW "TUMBLR" RAMBLING POSTS I DID).FORGOT TO MENTION(GOT TO QUIT, TOO MUCH SPACE/WORDS,& I'M WORN OUT & GETTING OLDER BY THE LETTER), +PREMISE: SINCE I'M SINGLE & STILL "KICKIN", AND " IF, SOMEHOW I WAS ABLE TO "SHAVE A FEW "YEARS OFF THIS "BODY, "WOULD U CONSIDER (U MAY HAVE THOUGHT I WAS HEADED FOR THE "M" WORD"//) TO RESPOND (ANY "COIN OF THIS ELECTRIC WORLD(F/B,TWITTER,TUMLR(NOT ABLE TO FIGURE OUT "INSTAGRAM", OR, IF U REALLY R CURIOUS, AN "OLD FASHIONED TELEPHONE CALL(# ti be supplied, if ever requested. good luck( u do not seem to need, (man oh man, would have given my "left ??????? if YOU WERE AT/DID (NOT ME) MY "BAR MITZVAH". OH WELL ,I CAN "DREAM ON"(MEGA AEOROSMITH HIT(FACT, A TALENTED "LADY(YES REAL WOMAN) MUSICAL WRITER COMPOSE(LYRICS & MUSIC) THIS SONG, & CHOSE "STEVEN TYLER"S VOICE/BAND TO RECORD IT"(I SWEAR, CAUGHT A "SEGMENT ON REGUAL T.V. SHOW, ABOUT THIS "GAL", HER SONGS, SPECIFICALLY THE ORIGIN OF "DREAM ON" & WHY SHE SELECTED TYLER/AEOROSMITH?. WELL, BYE, ADIOS, SYONARO(CAUGHT U & WILLIE GUIST ON T.V. INTERVIEW TODAY"(JUST AM " GAGA OVER YOUR "SMILE,SENSE OF LIF'E HUMOR VOICE,SPIRIT, ATTITUDE, PRESENCE")I'M SURE U WILL NOT GET A SWELLED HEAD FROM MY COMPLIMENTS. UNKOWN WHO U ARE, AND THAT SPELLS "KOOL", IN MY WORLD.SHALOM ALECHEM..

[virgilioastram]

I dunno what the fuck I'm gonna write next.

Literally every writer, decent or otherwise. 

[facepalming-since-chernobyl]

But, if she fucked up two shows does it mean she is capable of wrting a good one? - it's weird but I think people really enjoyed Legacies, even some critics, though nothing is universally loved, of course. I'll admit I don't really understand the main arc sometimes but I think it's a fun show and having Kai on it would be right up its alley if they write him humorously instead of outright villain, but yes, I think Julie could do it well, just my opinion though

Don;t watch, so I don;t know but, good to hear :)

[purplerakath]

The Orville - The First Five Episodes

So we’re at the fifth episode and I feel confident saying how I feel, and saying what people should look for going into it. I’ll put my detailed exploration under a read more but here are the things that I feel are best to keep in mind.

If you like:

Serialized Status-Quo series (STNG, STVoy)

Purposeful awkward dialog (Firefly, Family Guy)

The 90s

This show is probably one you should check out.

If you have issues with:

Seth’s work (Family Guy, American Dad, Cleaveland Show, Dads)

Lower quality visual effects

Crude/Bathroom humor

You should probably keep walking.

So the way I’m separating Star Trek Discovery (that’ll get a post later when we’re up to ep 6 because... not the point) and The Orville is based on which Trek Series you like. Orville is much more in line with TOS, TNG, and Voyager. Discovery has more in common with DS9, Enterprise, and the Reboot films. I’ll get back to that when I get to Discovery, but this is the divide I’m seeing.

Orville (either for budget reasons or for aesthetic reasons) is using a much less polished special effects set. Most effects feel very on par with what you’d get in a 90s era series. The set designs are on par with classic Trek and Andromeda. The opening credits might as well be a shot for shot remake of Voyager’s opening credits. The alien make-up is low work, no moving parts (compared to Andorians in Enterprise). Along side the wrting (non-dialog) it sets the tone at very specific homage to a very specific era.

The dialog is where things change, there’s a lot more of the post 2000s pop culture references writing, and the dialog takes heavy influence from sit-com interactions. When I said ‘purposeful awkward’ I meant that as a way to define the characters as more human than what Trek ever did. Trek made everyone as polished and utopic as their setting. Here we have flubbed one liners and calling species racist. It adds a level of approachability to everyone you need to really attach.

This is not to say I hate old trek’s writing of dialog, they just didn’t let people be awkward and mortal enough in retrospect. Except Tom Paris on Voyager.

Now if you’re not a fan of that humanizing dialog, you’ll hate the humor. I’m indifferent to it more than I’m amused. But I’d never claim to hate the humor being employed. Jokes like rewriting ‘non-copyright impeding holodeck’ characters to do something different like ‘amicable troll guy’ and ‘mexican bandit from the 1800s demands a dance battle’ worked really well. Ed Mercer being ever so awkward and ‘everyman’ works a little less, but if you look at Seth’s works this isn’t a surprise. And while I’ll admit I don’t generally appreciate bathroom humor, even I had to enjoy that Alara’s response to ‘being in charge’ was to get so nervous she threw up worked to remind everyone she’s the youngest member of the crew.

The plots all work, in the same way STNG episodic plots worked. They do their job and they end. It doesn’t seem to be building to anything it just is. Which is fine for the genre as Seth is distilling it. The species all seem to be thought out, and while the characters are mostly generic I wouldn’t say any of them are bad. I can easily play out brief dialog exchanges between any Orville character and any STNG/DS9/VOY characters as those are the series I have the best recollection of.

Is it the best series ever? Not at all. But it plays just the right amount of nostalgia while still giving me enough variation to be surprised and amused. I wouldn’t steer anyone away from it unless they find all three items I listed a problem.

[whatareyourthoughts-blog1]

I want to do you as many times as possible, In my bed, In my car, In work, Basically anywhere I can.

When sleep is life