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#wtf im being tortured by my damn body
cressthebest · 4 months
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Crimson Rivers thoughts part 37
chapter 56:
1. 😦 they.. they put a mask on sirius? they put him in azkaban?? my boy!! no!
2. 😭😭 sirius having already killed three guards tho. i love him
3. “Bastards they may be, stupid they are not.”
4. “At least he gets the sound of his own voice, though, which is a huge improvement in his opinion.”
he’s so funny i love him. he’s a murderer! he fell in love with a servant! he loves the sound of his own voice! he’s demisexual! he volunteered for regulus twice! he likes wood carving! he called the random guard “stuart”! he convinced the head gamemaker to change the rules so he can keep his brother and best freind! he continues to obnoxiously sing when face to face with riddle!
no one is doing it like him, i fear
5. “"Sounds like you've had a shitty week," is what Sirius says, finally, when he can bring himself to speak.”” 😭😭 he’s so bold. my dear, you are chained in front of the most dangerous man in the world and you tell HIM that his life fucking sucks. my dear. the ABSOLUTE GALL you have
6. “"I need not lie, Sirius."
"Yeah, that's what liars say."”
my DEAR
7. “”Kneel down on the floor before me like a dog and beg."”
i prefer this out of context. but in context, it’s riddle being an absolute bitch to sirius. like excuse you.
8. “Sirius Black is many, many things, but a peasant before a king is never and will never be one.” A-FUCKING-MEN
9. 😮 did sirius just BITE OFF A CHUNK OF RIDDLES ARM??? praise be
10. marylily?? marylily??? MARYLILY??? going feral at any and all hints towards them
11. “"I like your legs," Lily says stupidly, because her brain and mouth have disconnected briefly, apparently.”
bbg i’m in love with you 😭😭
12. aww any mentions of petunia from lily break my heart
13. lily being so desperately in love with mary is my new drug
14. REMUS AND LILY FALLING RIGHT BACK INTO ROUTINE WITH BEING OBNOXIOUS TO EACH OTHER >>>>>>>>
15. “Lily gave him his [cigarette] first in six years days ago, and he'd coughed through the whole thing, then smoked five more back-to-back.”
16. “A stranger is just someone you haven't met yet. What do you call someone you knew better than yourself that you no longer recognize? A ghost?”
wtf wtf wtf that’s insane to write. lily and remus did NOT deserve this
17. “Lily has never known a Remus afraid of freedom, and Remus has never known a Lily afraid of love.”
18. “because they're still two bodies and one heart after all this time, if nothing else.”
that is beautiful and i’m forever grateful of the way the marauders fandom puts emphasis on the importance of friendships. like, this isn’t about a romantic couple. that is said about FRIENDS. friends got that description of their love for each other.
19. the fact that their friendship is so close, remus can REACH INTO LILY’S bra (to grab a cig) and she’s just upset cause his hands are cold.
20. crying actually, cause of all things to break me this chapter, it’s the fact that sirius and effie smoke together
21. oof i have a bad feeling about how dorlene is gonna end up
22. 😦😦 marlene gives the ring back. wtfffff damn that hurtsss
23. “”I am telling you this explicitly, right now, if you shoot your shot and fuck up in any way, I will let her pick a part of your body to take as a trophy, then remove it and give it to her. Still interested?"
"Even more so," Rodolphus says, wiggling his eyebrows. "She's got crazy friends, too. That's hot."”
me fr 😌 give me insane bitches (oh wait. maybe IM the crazy person)
24. 😳 practically fifteen seconds of flirting and he and barty decided to go fuck. that’s fucking insane. IS THIS HOW ALLOS ARE??? LIKE THEY CAN DO THAT??? (not all allos obviously, but some can do that??)
25. the way servants (slaves) are treated in the hallow make me angry beyond belief. like, seething white hot anger
26. FOAMING AT THE MOUTH AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY!!! THEY FIXED JAMES’ EYESIGHT AND IM SO FUCKING PISSED
27. riddle tortured sirius and lemme jsut say, if someone told that to remus and regulus, the war would be over in a day flat
28. “The odds are not in Riddle's favor. If you ask James, he'll bet on his people every fucking time. It's not a game of chance, or luck, but a game of faith—and James has that in spades.” james’ loyalty is probably my favorite character trait of his
29. honorary authors note mention: “also lmaooo sirius literally in prison and still killing people 😭 he really said: you put me in prison, im gonna commit crimes, duh 🙄 he's everything to me”
30. honorary authors note mention pt 2: “rodolphus "i will hit every step on the crazy ladder if it kills me" lestrange living his truth and getting with the most insane, available people he meets every chance he gets””
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mrsmiagreer · 1 month
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EA SPOILERS
BRACHIUM 🥺🥺🥺🥺
IS HE OKAY?????
Ik he’s so tired :(
“I am a failure” No baby no
“But i know you hear me”
This is literally so sad i’m crumpling
IS HE CRYING
“Please Mother, Please Release Me” BAWLING
IS HE BEING FREED?!
HE WILL NOT FAIL ‼️‼️‼️‼️👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
This is crazy cinematic
SUNSHINE IS SAVED
WHY IS AARONS VOICE SO DEEP😭😭😭
I literally almost didn’t know who he was
Oh Smartass is here too
Awe brother hug moment
YAYYYYYYY SUNSHINE IS SAFE
“I’m so sorry” 🥺
All I can imagine is Elliott and that damn comfort beanie that we all imagine he has on💀
BRACHIUM AND AARON MEET ?!
WHY IS AARONS VOICE SO DEEP OMG😭😭
It’s throwing me off like crazy who tf is that?! ERIN???
BLAKE MENTION BLAKE MENTION
I know what he did is bad but DADDY I LOVE HIM
Is he gonna die ☹️
“you? specifically?” LMAOO WHY DOESNT AARON BELIEVE HIM?!
I’m sorry but his story is so long :\
“Good. Give them back their fucking lives”😭
AARON CALM DOWN
Memory modification 😲
“I just got my brother back”
So he’s gonna change the circumstances of their memories not wipe them completely
Okay aaron and brachium going back and forth like this —
Omg aaron is literally gonna sit here and convince them that their trauma is worth keeping😭
I get it’s the right thing to do morally but like wtf if i wanna forget i will. if i don’t wanna have nightmares and have to go to therapy from being kidnapped and tortured for days then i will
IS THIS A VOTE ?!
Elliott’s voice is so cute and innocent
“PARTNER IS AN OVERSTATEMENT” LMFAO WHAT
YOURE TELLING ME THEYRE NOT EVEN DATING
“You want my body, you want my cooperation, then you let me have this. you let me have them”
I’m obsessed with Blake omg
“We will try this” YES YES YES OMG NEW BLAKE AND BESTIE CONTENT
“Hey!” OMG
IM LITERALLY FREAKING OUT
HE IS SO CUTE AND NERVOUS ABOUT TALKING TO THEM FUCK
He’s like sweating and almost crying omgggg
YOU GUYS DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH IM GOING CRAZY
“We agreed to never talk about because you said if we did that you couldn’t have me in your life if that was something we talked about”
OMG HIM BEING A SEER
THIS LORE IS CRAZY
SO THEY DO KNOW HE’S A SEER
his stuttering 🥹🫶🏽
“I have to say this and i need you to listen to me when i say it…okay?”
“NO‼️” OMG IT SCARED THE FUCK OUTTA ME
He’s yelling at me guys i’m scared he’s yelling
THAT NIGHT OMG
MORE LORE THE LORE DUMP IS CRAZY
His aggression is halfway turning me on and halfway scaring me
Omg i’m about to start crying
i feel his pain so much
“I never stopped loving you” UGHH BLAKE
“You’re gonna die !”
OMG IM SCARED
He sounds on the verge of a psychotic break. Not even the verge. Just the psychotic break
“I know how crazy this sounds, I know how crazy I look��
Babes….its bad. Real bad
“Don’t speak THROUGH me” OMG THIS IS TERRIFYING
OMG WOW THIS IS INSANE THEYRE JUST SHOWING ALL OF HIS PAST TO THEM LIKE A DAMN TV SERIES
this is crazy
“That’s why I did everything”
Blake i’m so in love with you
If they kill Bestie anyway i’m literally gonna cry
The silence in between his sentences are so deafening
OMG THEYRE KISSING YES YES YES YES YES
WHAT DID THEY JUST SAY?!
“you can keep this deluded pet”
WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME LMAOOO
OMG YESSSS BLAKE GETS TO KEEP BESTIE
IM LITERALLY SHAKING‼️‼️‼️‼️
The fuck Aaron just grew up like another 10 years?!
“You tell him baby” ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️
If i was smartass at this table id literally say “ewwwwww they’re kissing !”
WAIT WAS ALL OF THAT TO SHOW THAT BRACHIUM WENT THROUGH WITH THE MODIFICATIONS?!?!?!
SCORPIUS WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE
OMG THEY DONT REMEMBER ANY OF IT
“I’m coming too” YUHHH DEMONS TEAM UP
You guys. You don’t understand how happy i am right now. All of my begs and pleads have been answered to. I just wanted to know more about Blake and Bestie and I got an amazing amount of Lore. I’m literally gonna start crying
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vivihar · 19 days
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hello vivi !! it’s ME again !!
im here to yap again so BE READY !!
first i love tomerus i want them to smooch but i also want them to have a billford dynamic…please here me out with tired stressed severus being tormented by an entity (tom ahah TOMENTED) who wants to take over the universe and finds fun in torturing humans with a whole ‘let’s see how many times i can rearrange your atoms without you ceasing to exist!!’ but in a TOM way yk ?! like severus who shouldnt like this weird demon but he’s also kind of hot in a way he hates himself for. like please my man wanted to research creatures and potions and instead accidentally made a deal with a god damn trillion year old psychotic masochistic interdimensional demon ????
THE SECOND YAP is i want them…sherlock johnlock coded…severus just looking for an apartment and meeting up with an old friend (insert whoever you want here) and who says ‘wow, you’re the second person to ask me that.’ and he’s like ‘wtf r u talking abt’ and there tom is whipping a dead body because he wants to know if bodies bruise after death ?? and everyone’s okay with it except for severus who’s stood there wondering who tf this guy is and why is behaviour is normalised ?? or you could make it sheriaty which i now realise while writing this is slightly better. moriarty as tom and severus as sherlock with their homoerotic rivalry where neither of them actually want to kill the other because what’s the fun in that ?? this is what severus needs, the thrill of the chase and the only person that can give him that is tom and while toms reading out this pre-rehearsed villainous speech severus is thinking ‘this guy talks to much…i should kiss him. or shoot him. both is good.’ and tom is thinking ‘maybe i should kill him…no then i wont be able to see him. maybe i could just rob his grave after. i’ll see what he does first.’ because honestly they’re ALL THE OTHER HAS !! they’re ALL THE OTHER WANTS !! no matter how much tom does, severus will always be there to stop him and the thrill of the chase is what gets them off !! they’re insane !!
and i love them and then concludes my yap LOVE YOU VIVI !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello Dori lovely how are you 🧡
I confess it's been a long time since I watched both of them so I don't know if I could make them as you said but I did understand the dynamic you're referring to which thank you love, it's perfect especially the first one.
Maybe not a deity (or maybe could do) Tom has psychopath tendency which if we make Severus some type of a creature Tom would want to play and test everything about Severus like a kid playing with his toys. But if we think him as a 'deity' I think we could go with Canon. Like V winning the war and playing with Severus, torturing him and making him live forever so he could play with him forever etc etc.
I kinda have Moriarty and Holmes thing au. Not really same but similar chasing and playing game. Muggle au where Tom is a criminal Lord or something and Severus journalist or detective who looks for him. More likely journalists tho. Tom would have fun how his newly graduated 'stalker' finds things about him(he lets him) and Severus would be excited to discover more and more things about Tom. And at some point Severus gets good, he finds things Tom doesn't want him and rather than being angry Tom would kinda feel proud lol anyway I hope I tidy the plot soon so I can start making the au because it's fun.
I love you too 😙🧡🧡
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gece-misin-nesin · 2 years
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I'm imagining an au where there are ACTUAL trials in evils theatre.
But what is weird is that the dead... seem to come back to life for trials to defend themselves, defend others or even sue people?
At first the theatre crew and the dead are like "yo wtf" but they get used to it. Most of the dead are in trials once or twice but there are several of them who are there A LOT.
Also by triaI mean someone says:
(Insert Name) is guilty of this and this
And then everyone involved participates in the discussion like: were they actually guilty, their reasons, outside reasons and what the victim says etc.
So my ideas for this:
Michaela is a regular member, forming a body out of roots and shit to either participate or observe trials bc that's how she gets amusement out of life as a tree
Gammon managed to get Lilith a guily verdict over the green hunting, she didn't speak to him for a month(no one knows if it was bc she regretted it or bc she was angry at him or both)
The punishment for being found guilty is cleaning and doing the chores of the theatre for a week
Gammon constantly tries to get the theatre members convicted bc of this
Nemesis regains her memories bc i want her to once every two months and causes the BIGGEST trials bc she has dirt on everyone
She once got Irina(who isn't always the judge) to be convicted for the Lioness Burning Incident
Gumillia is sick of this bs because she gets summoned to trials all the damn time bc of her partnership w Seth
When they need to call a dead person as witness they just shout that person's name and they appear
Everyone thinks it Gumillia raising the dead but its actually Luna Hazuki bc this is the most fun she has had in a millenium
She just watches everything from her secret base
If a dead person is found guilty, the entire court has to individually insult said person
Ron Grapple once accused Hansel and Gretel of his murder and won the case bc he was ABC's son and Irina liked him
The graveyard crew were shocked
Nyoze the loop octopus version once cleared up a case about the 7th project MA and never came again
Gammon couldn't process it
Michelle Marlon got MA convicted for not paying child support on two different occasions
Rahab Barisol once emerged out of MA and shit talked Lich
Clarith was accused of not being on the side of justice bc she didn't kill Riliane, coincidentially, Michaela went apeshit in that trial
Clarith also testified that riliane repented which had some ppl surprised
Ma tried to convict gretel for the murder of Mariam, they called her spirit and she literally said "idc"
Behemo makes Ace Attorney references whenever he's there
"That autopsy report is...OUTDATED!"
Nemesis was convicted for the destruction of Levianta(the Magic Kingdom)
Germaine sues Irina for all sorts of shit
No one managed to call on Allen Avadonia
Luna and Sickle kinda argued on this but Luna respected Sickle's decision(basically torturing a 14 year old :/)
They summomed Gallerian multiple times and his response was always "lmao who cares? im evil and i embrace it"
Irina can never trash talk him when he loses trials
Adam managed to get Gammon convicted for identity fraud bc of his past life...somehow
It was total bull and everyone knew that he had bribed Irina
Adam also got Seth convicted for child abuse
Dozens of women sued Venomania and he never won
Not even once
He did win a case against his asshole father though
Muzuri Conchita sued Irina for the curse on his household and he won the case
Elluka Chirclatia sued Nemesis, Mayrana Blossom and Ma for understandable reasons
Pride arc people sued the shit out of Prim, she didn't manage to win ANYTHING
Interestingly, the most ferocious person during her stuff was Banica bc of what she had done to Ney
Lemy sued Gumillia for his murder but the court was so split that they decided to convict neither side and never brought up the case again
It just gave everyone migraines
Adam and Eve tried to sue H&G for their murders but then H&G sued them for neglect, so they called it even
Eve was nearly convicted for the Toragay incident but no one could prove it was her (Nemesis wasn't there and Irina was interested in her defense)
Loki Freezis and Gallerian Marlon had an epic stand off
Kayo Sudou apologised for murdering Mei, Rin and Miku Miroku so they gave her a less harsh sentence which involved only the 3 victims insulting her
No one cared about Kai's death
The Pere Noel members of the 1st iteration(bc most members of the second are all alive until 999) had a LOT of cases
Kaspar tried to make a case against Eve but ignoring that he couldn't prove it was her, no one in the court sympathized with him
Eve and Adam had a shouting match with Seth cheering on from the sidelines until they realized he was their common enemy and ripped him to shreds(figuratively)
Kiril Clockworker nearly got convicted for Pale Noel's stuff, but they couldn't prove anything y'know? He was blamed a little for the catastrophe tho
Catherine Derais once came and she and Rahab were brutal
Brutal for Rahab mostly
All the sinners and the demons sued each other several times
They all got different verdicts each time lol
Sickle is against Luna interfering but doesn't say anything
Eater actually got all heated up in a case against Held once
Arth defended Lich in said case
Lich was so moved
Ney defended herself by saying that Michaela looked like Eve in Michaela's murder trial
No one took it seriously except Hansel and Banica
Nemesis nearly got in trouble for Nyoze's murder but Nyoze(the octo ver) said that her innocence was non-negotiatable
Mira Marlon sued Gallerian for cheating on her and won the case
Nemesis sued Held for not doing shit as a god
Surprisingly Irina, who benefitted the most from his inaction, agreed and he was found guilty
Gumillia was attacked several times for her aiding Elluka Clockworker with crimes and once she claimed that Elluka Clockworker never existed bc she was actually levia behemo, she wasn't elluka chirclatia and ergo elluka clockworker never existed and that Gumillia couldn't have POSSIBLY helped her do crime
The court just took a minute to process this in silence
"I hold nothing BUT contempt for this court." -Germaine, absolutely sick of this bullshit
But that quote could be anyone tbh
This is really long but the ideas just kept coming to me. I find it funny when characters are confronted with their actions, even if it is comedy like this
Honestly Evils Theatre SHOULD have had more trials
it would have been so fun
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scarychica · 4 years
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Half Drunk Rant: Reasons House of Wax failed as a movie franchise (there are spoilers if you haven’t watched it but it’s a 15 year old movie I saw when I was 12 so 🤷🏼‍♀️)
1) They kill off the only interesting characters
I’d rate it low too if I had watched it and my favs died like wtf?? Did someone fall asleep writing the ending??
2) why didn’t Lester show up and help his brothers? The ending was so unsatisfying showing him, like, I’m glad him and their dog were alive but omg imagine if Lester showed up and tricks Carly and Nick that he wants to help them but lures them to Vincent and Bo OMG CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT BEING THE REVEAL THAT THEY ARE ALL BROTHERS GAHHHHHHH Like he hits Bo in the head with a shovel and is all “omg Bo is trying to kill you come with me I’ll help you—-INTO MY MEAT PIT!!!”
3) Everyone should have died and been made into wax figures and the ending is just them on display in the museum very creepy with a hint that Nick or Carly are still not dead in their wax bodies.
4) Not enough Vincent
5) Not enough dog
6) WTF WERE THE POLAROIDS IM GOING TO DIE MAD ABOUT IT WHY NOT JUST SHOW ME?? IS IT DEAD BODIES? GIRLS IN THE TORTURE CHAIR?? SELFIES? NATURE? DICK PICS!?!?! WHAT WERE THEY!!!!!
7) When Carly says “Do you really think your mother would have wanted you to do this?” Vincent or Bo should have been all “Who do you think taught us all this!?!” Revealing that their entire family made the town “dissapear”. That’s why the church has all those people and that old woman in the window. THEIR FATHER WAS A DOCTOR THAT OBVIOUSLY WAS NOT RIGHT IN THE HEAD AND THEIR MOTHER ALSO WENT CRAZY SOOOOOO I MEAN COME ON!!!!!!!
LIKE IMAGINE THE MOTHER BEING PISSED AT SOMEONE JUDGING HER BABY BOYS FACE AND KILLING THEM AND HIDING THE BODY WITH A WAX FIGURE!!!!! AND MAYBE HAVING SOME SORT OF CRAZY FANTASY THAT EVERYONE SHOULD BE WAX.
“Mama would be proud” “her vision” ??!?!!!! ITS SO OBVIOUS!!!! Also what the frick was Carly talking about that Bo lied to Vincent? Lied about what? He never lied just lacked any obvious motive I guess but yeah that line was dumb.
8) Vincent should have had a beautiful wife and I volunteer as tribute. Also there are not enough slasher women. And audiences love the whole “beauty and the beast” thing but Vincent would be the really beauty. uwu.
9) Wax is hot. Have your stuck your finger in a Bath and Bodies candle?? Because I have. Imagine Bo throwing wax in Nicks face. That’s hot.
10) Paris Hilton did not say “that’s hot” AND SHE TOTALLY COULD HAVE BECAUSE WAX IS HOT OMG WHYYY GOD!!!! LORDE WHY HAVE YOU ABANDONED ME????
11) WHERE ARE LESTERS BABY PICTURES!!!!???
12) No shirtless Bo? You get that hunk to play the slasher and don’t have a moment where he is all “damn they got me good, time to remove my shirt to check my arrow wounds”
In conclusions TLDR: they had the perfect ingredients for this beautiful slasher cake and they didn’t measure it and someone put salt instead of sugar in the batter. 😭
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venii-vidii-vicii · 3 years
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Good morning to these fuckers who live in my head rent free
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Woke up feeling like I want to gush about them which I always do on twitter. I think I tortured my twitter enough so I'm sorry, Tumblr. It's your turn.
First of all, look at them. They're dumb fuckin himbos. Ugh my heart 😔
Second, I think a lot of people forget that you play as a cop, representing a force that has left Martinaise to die. Was I ever mad they were assholes to me? No because fuck cops. They deserve it. Yes, including Harry and Kim.
Third... They're just losers, okay? They're all a bunch of stupid losers trying to make a name for themselves. Titus obv is an overachiever not only because it makes him look cool but probably because that's how he measures his self worth
Imposter syndrome, am I right, fellas?
He's gotta be like that to lead them, his words not mine.
And all this fragile ego, huh? Man, toxic masculinity sure is a bitch.
Being gay? Nah bro. Too manly for that, said Glen, as if dominating another dude isn't the ultimate fucking power move. But God had to nerf Glen somehow. I mean, who wants a freaking chaotic gay feral gremlin walking around stealing men? (Me. I do. Glen, please call me)
But you know who's alright with LGBTQs? Also the Hardie Boys. Yes, folks! If the Hardies are the law in Martinaise and Titus Hardie himself said gay is okay then bitch you better believe it!
You guys want a bunch of burly dudes to punch this homophobe for you? Say no more. Call the Hardie Boys today to bully your homophobic bully!
There are 7 colors in a rainbow and you got 7 Hardie Boys. That's all I'm saying 😏😌 🌈
Also when their head isn't in their ass and they're actually sober, they care about their home more than anyone else. They didn't just stand by and let their home die slowly. They did something about it! No cops? No problem. The Hardie boys are for the people and by the people.
And they got the power of TOGETHERNESS! Friendship is magic! You talk shit about one of them? Get rekt by the other 6. I love my therapy support group where we don't actually talk about our problems because we're too macho manly for problems, but everyone is super supportive 💜💜
Has it already been (almost) 2 years of me SIMPING for them? Woah. Where's my Hardie badge? (I mean I have a Hardie boys jacket but a badge would be cool)
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Sometimes my cat loves to sleep on it
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And I'm hoping one day I can afford to have all their displates but for now I only have a shrine dedicated to Glen and Titus, may their bromance live on
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Wait....
What was I talking about?
Oh yeah! The boys.
I love them 💜 they're great and they represent a lot of issues I would have loved to see be talked about more often in media. But THATS WHY IM HERE! Yours truly. Yep. Talking about a bunch of himbos doing their best.
Are they assholes? For sure, man.
Are they misogynistic? Uh... Yeah.
But toxic masculinity be like that. This is how we were raised to be because our self worth is measured by how many chicks we sleep with and how successful we are and then society normalized this even more by saying it's just "boys being boys"
You think IDLES would be out here with songs like Samaritans if we didn't have a problem with toxic masculinity? (Great song btw. One of my favorite songs for Glen)
Media made being gay seem like it's all about being feminine men who wanna dress in drag and put make up on, of COURSE Glen would be like "I'm not gay cuz I'm not girly. Ew wtf?" instead of media normalizing that gays are, surprise, just regular people.
WE NEED GAY ATHLETE REP, GLEN. YOU'RE SO VALID.
To be honest, sports are pretty gay anyway. Rugby?? Really, Glen? A game where you smash bodies with other burly dudes? And fight over balls? Idk man sounds pretty gay.
TLDR; yeah those guys are far from perfect but I fell in love with them for their imperfections. It's what made me relate to them. They're just trying to live their best life, helping people... But who helps them with their demons? 😔
They need therapy like every other characters in this damn game. I will simp for them till the day I die!
Enough of my ramblings though. Sorry, Tumblr. Had to do it to you. 😌
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papabigtoes · 3 years
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I’m but a dumb clown and still don’t fully understand what happened in chapter 12. When Murderface bit Dick’s neck, did their minds interface or something? Sorry I’m slow 😭
You aren’t a dumb clown at all!
The submarine sections I wanted to feel a lot a bit confusing due to the fact in that au this is gonna be the last time they can seek sanctuary at the church - the band feels like they are just experiencing the rush and trying to survive through the pressure (pun intended but not in a high iq way in the I’m a Fellow Clown brining in the Tub Brainstorming About How to Be a Further Numbnut). I wanted it to be flustering for the sake of my own chaos in a way to say the band in themselves is extremely confused in these parts. Big chunks go on in between like one of those youtube videos where people put a cam on a tree as a bald eagle is raising its babies and you check it every week and the babies get bigger each time you check and changes are there that you have to rationalize for yourself how they got to that place
If I write some more mid g2 au fan fart I’d specify a lot more clearly than in the comic! I like to imagine Salacia can most effectively mind control in two ways; at those he looks into (like in the depths of humanity staring at murderface and singing to him), or when he makes contact with them (touching Crozier’s head while seizing his mind at the end of season 2).
Since Murderface fell into the ocean with exposed flesh, he’s been needing to consume blood to return into the “human” form - Crozier was the only one taking that seriously. Charles however believed he was tampering with his healing (further making him stay in a half-man demon form) with it, resulting in him sending the general to the boiler room for a while.
Without the blood, Murderface can’t control his demon form, and hearing and feeling Dick’s heartbeat in the shower resulted in him making contact (and unintentionally seizing his mind - in the beginning of this whole comic, Sal couldn’t get through to Dick in the car because of his cybernetic eyes. So MF feels extremely repugnant with himself because he has no clue how he managed to do it, but in reality he was able to because he was making contact in the shower, and then bit him, further connecting himself.)
I was actually going to draw panels of Dick pushing MF off of him and rushing out into the hallways calling for help and then a gear would be all “WOAH Dick wtf happened” and then Dick would have been all “IM NOT DICK”
But it also had a lot of full-body nudity and lanky rat man body and i was all “huh this might be way too edgy! there’s already a fan comic of a lanky naked man being tortured in this fandom!” and i decided to slap it into the digital trashcan. (im joshing! no hate about those creators i have the right to fart around, and i feel like they can take it as they are metal-aged and damn should!)
TLDR; Yes they did! And the reason Crozier can mind-speak back to MF is because of a sort of Hex Salacia placed on both him and Orlaag (he’s placed several onto them, which is a reason they look like their young selves as well)
I might have just been further confusing but thank you for the ask!1!1!
6 notes · View notes
paranetics · 4 years
Note
hiya could you do a kiadam for 17. and 22.? if your not too busy. thanks !!
17.  “Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…” 22.  “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”
He’s completely minding his own business, being friendly with his physics textbook, all pressed up against the end of the bookshelf in the library, successfully having a love affair with headache-inducing math equations, when Mira ambushes him.
“Hiya,” she says, suddenly right in his face.
“Aisghls!” he gurgles, in a completely manly way, thank you. She sits back on her heels and laughs at him, loud and mocking. He scowls at her.
Her braces are blue now, matching the streaks in her hair. She looks nice, he decides, all neon green and blue. The loudness of her wardrobe suits her -- she’d be strange to him if she ever tried to tone it down.
“Oh, man, you should’ve seen your face.”
“Fuck you,” Kai snaps, smoothing out the pages of his book. “I am busy learning how to destroy the AP Phys exam. Stop being a distraction.”
She pouts at him. “Come on, you're seriously not still mad at me about the ceramic pig.”
“I’m always going to be mad at you about the ceramic pig,” he says primly. Then he sighs, unable to resist. “What’s up?”
Her smile turns bright, and his heart does that familiar little stutter. Kai has always, always loved her. Sure, she’s Adam’s best friend and has inclinations more Reeve-based, but there’s always going to be something about her that just catches him in the right spot. He’s over it now, and he has erm, other areas of interest, but she’ll always be special.
“Nessa’s having a party--”
“Ugh,” Kai interrupts.
“--with alcohol--”
“Double ugh.”
“And cute boys will be there,” Mira wheedles, whipping out her best puppy-eyes.
“I don’t care,” Kai says, shuffling away from her and looking back at his textbook. The particles will... he reads.
“Adam will be there,” she tries. Obvious trump card. Goddammit.
He cuts his eyes toward her, calculating. She’s grinning, triumphant, confident that she’s got him. He groans internally, because it’s either that he goes to this party and enjoys at least twelve percent of it, or Mira and Adam will wake him up from a dead sleep sometime in the AM, drunk and needy.
Part of his resistance is a lie, he always likes parties. He doesn’t like Vanessa, but she’s Reeve’s friend, and by proxy, Mira’s friend. He can pretend to like her for one night, especially if he gets to hang out with people. What can he say, extroversion. It’s a disease.
It’s just, recently, there’s been this trend. It’s like he’s been cursed.
Kai pretends to think about it.
“Fine,” he grits out.
“Yay!” Mira says, standing up and doing a little celebratory wiggle. She pulls her phone out of her pocket and unlocks it. “I’ll add you to the group text. Also, I want Reeve to drive me so you’re taking Adam alone okay bye.”
“Huh,” Kai says as she speed-walks away from him. “What? Hey!”
But she’s gone, vaguely eucalyptus-scented-shampoo left in her wake. Alone? With Adam? Fuck.
His phone buzzes.
-
Group: party 🎉🥂🥳🎊 time
mirakat added humantorchkai to the group
abeaverdam: Oh he’s coming?
lochnessa: Damn I didn’t know he left his house anymore
mirakat: ya i cornered his ass in th library
mirakat: hes a total slut 4 skool
mirakat: kais my bitch tho lol so ya hes comin
mirakat: dam hes drivin u
abeaverdam: Is that ok kai?
humantorchkai: yeah
humantorchkai: when?
lochnessa: Friday.
-
Kai’s late to first period on Wednesday, which Reeve notices, and bugs him about for ten minutes straight. He rolls in twenty minutes after the bell, wearing the clothes he left on his bedroom floor, all rumpled up and disorganized, and without a note. He drops into his seat and makes it approximately two minutes before Reeve leans over, into his space, and starts the interrogation.
“Oh my God,” Kai says to the ceiling. “For the last time, my alarm didn’t go off.”
“My Spidey-senses tell me you’re a liar,” Reeve says, and seriously, what does Mira see in this complete dork? He’s so nosy.
Kai drags his gaze from the ceiling to stare at him. “I think your janky-ass ‘spider-sense’ needs a psych eval.”
Reeve crosses his arms and sniffs at him. “Rude. I thought we were friends.”
“We are--” Kai scrubs his hands through his hair violently, frustrated. He catches the smirk on Reeve’s face. “Hey! That doesn’t work on me anymore. I’ve evolved.”
The smirk doesn’t leave Reeve’s face.
The truth is, Kai’s late because he had a nightmare. Or a wet dream. Depends on your definition of either thing. It’s been reoccurring pretty consistently, and Kai always wakes up from it breathing hard, adrenaline in his veins, and a hard-on. Today just happened to be shittier, and he couldn’t get back to sleep right away, so he overslept when his alarm went off.
It’s pretty much the worst, been happening for almost a month, and Kai is slowly losing his mind. But. whatever, the important part is this: he’s with Adam, and Adam kisses him. They could be in space, or in a submarine, or whatever Kai’s subconscious feels like cooking up. They could be anything, pirates, elven rebel warriors, it doesn't matter. In every dream, Kai’s with Adam, and at some point Adam leans over, the smell of Hennessy whiskey on his breath, and kisses Kai.
It’s why Kai’s been so rigid lately, avoiding his friends and refusing to go to parties, because of what happened Last Time he’d gone.
Mad Libs! Fill in the blanks, Sherlock.
He’s so totally, totally, totally screwed. And no one is allowed to know, not even Reeve, who knows Adam’s a flirty drunk and that Kai’s pathetic, and hasn’t even told anyone any of Kai’s other secrets, because this? This is world-ending levels of FUCK.
So, when the bell rings, Kai basically sprints out the door to avoid Reeve.
-
Group: party 🎉🥂🥳🎊 time
speedyskeet: should i bring da weed
reever: ohhh shiiiit hell yeah
lochnessa: No LSD though
speedyskeet: :O
speedyskeet: um ok MOM
reever: wtf ness
reever: psychedelic rights!!!
speedyskeet: let me get us fkd up!!
mirakat: wait didnt we hav 2 call an ambulance 4 coop last time u brought more than weed to a party
mirakat: or was tht a different school
speedyskeet: .........
speedyskeet: ok so im assuming edibles and my bong right
-
Kai takes his lunch to Mr Tucker’s room.
Mr Tucker is the APUS history teacher for the senior class, and he is the only non-STEM teacher that Kai likes. Mira is also his favorite student, so he lets them eat lunch in his room. It’s better than fighting for a spot in the crowded cafeteria, and Kai likes hiding from the rest of the student body.
Adam, Reeve, and Mira are sitting at one of the table groups when Kai walks in with his plate of chicken nuggets, Vanessa and Skeet nowhere to be seen. They’re probably getting high in the parking lot.
Mr Tucker is scrolling through youtube, his computer desktop displayed on the projector screen.
“Why’d you look up Nyan cat?” Kai asks, tilting his head as he watches Mr Tucker scroll.
“It’s stuck in his head,” Mira pipes up, helpfully. 
Mr Tucker grunts confirmation and apparently selects the version he likes. Reeve groans when it starts playing, slumping forward over his tuna salad. Mr Tucker picks up his normal vegetable-based salad, his bushy mustache wiggling in that way that means he’s smiling.
Kai sits next to Reeve, across from Adam. Mistake, Kai realizes too late. Big mistake. Because now they have to make eye contact, and Kai’s belly catches fire at the memory of drunkAdamhe’sKISSINGMESOMEONEHELP when he looks down at his plate of chicken nuggets. It’ll be obvious on his face in a few moments, he’s never been able to fight off a blush well, and then there’s going to be Questions. Capital-Q Questions.
But Reeve’s talking about, like, whatever drama majors talk about, and when Kai chances a peek up, Adam’s not looking at him. So.
Kai can’t help it, okay? He’s creepy. Sue him. No wait, that’s not-- ugh.
Kai studies the contours of Adam’s face while he’s not looking. His high cheekbones and his sharp chin. His heavy eyebrows that are shaped perfectly (”Ugh, you’re so fucking gross,” Reeve had said when Kai had voiced this thought aloud. “His eyebrows? I think you need to ask him out. Get it out of your system.”) and his eyes are that warm shade of brown, almost gold, soft and kind.
His hair is longer now, and errant curls flop over his forehead and around his ears. Kai watches the long line of Adam’s throat when he tilts his head back from the force of laughing at something Reeve said. Kai’s transfixed by the inviting stretch of dark skin, entertaining a thought of leaning over and just biting down so it’s not his fault he doesn’t see it coming when Reeve violently jabs him in the rib.
Kai jumps. “Ah! What the fuck?”
“Language,” Mr Tucker says in the toneless inflection of someone who doesn’t really care but responds on reflex. He’s now scrolling through Seasame Street videos.
Reeve shrugs, unrepentant. “You were gone there, dude.”
“Yeah,” Adam agrees, eyebrows raised in polite curiosity. “Planet Zenon gone.”
Kai ducks his head. “I’m, uh, stressed about AP physics?” he tries.
“Uh-huh,” Reeve says, “and are you asking us to confirm that for you?”
“Leave him alone,” Mira interrupts mildly. “Only, like, a hundred people a year get above a three on that exam.”
“Wow, how is that class still funded?” Adam asks.
“Elitism?” Mira guesses. “Maybe it’s like, a torture thing. Like, a test within a test.”
“What,” Reeve says, “like, if you pass you can become a super-secret spy?”
“Or I can, like, do another Chernobyl. Or I’m allowed secret access to government secrets. Ooh, maybe they’ll tell me the moon is a projection into the sky.” Kai says, warming to this idea.
“Then how would they explain waves?” Reeve asks.
“Uh, giant wave pool,” Kai answers.
“Hot take: the world is in a giant wave pool,” Mira grins at him.
Adam blinks almost in slow-motion, the sweep of his eyelashes against his cheeks, a smile growing on his face, and Kai is once again caught like a fly in honey. Just like that, all the saliva is gone from Kai’s mouth, and he’s completely lost the thread of whatever’s happening around him.
Okay, so, recap: totally, totally, totally screwed.
-
adam: U sure you’re ok driving me?
kai: dam i swear its fine
kai: i’d say something if it was a problem
kai: my parents have been trying to kick me out basically every weekend, this’ll make them so fucking happy
adam: Lol
adam: [A stock photo of two white parents sitting on a beach towel in a tropical location, smiling adoringly at each other. In the blurry background, a toddler with similar skin color and hair is being attacked by a seagull.]
-
“There is a PROBLEM!” Kai announces, flopping heavily onto his bed, tossing an arm dramatically over his forehead. Mira doesn’t even look up at him.
“Hm?” she says from the floor, knees drawn up to her chest, eyebrows furrowed in deep concentration. She’s looking more at her iPad than at him.
“Oh my God,” Kai groans. “You don’t even care. I’m nothing to you. You enjoy my suffering.”
“Die white man,” Mira says tonelessly. “I’m trying to beat my old high score in Tetris. What’s your damage.”
“I have nothing to wear on Friday,” Kai moans, pained.
“What? Why do you even care? Your regular clothes are fine.”
“Oh my God, Mira! It’s a party,” Kai breathes the word like its holy, a precious thing nestled in the crook of his tongue, not to be defiled by people who wear school clothes to special events. “And I want to get hit on.”
“I’ll hit on you,” Mira promises. The iPad makes a wah-wah-wah sound. She sighs, setting it aside and looking up at him, expression thoroughly unamused, clearly blaming him for her high-score loss.
“I did not do that,” Kai says. The blood’s started rushing to his head, so he sits up and blinks away the black spots as they dance in front of his vision. “I just wanna be hot,” he whines. 
“Okay, so, wear that stupid blue button-up with the tigers on it, and the black skinny jeans. It brings out your eyes,” she elaborates. “And tucked-in button-ups are hot on dudes. Oh, and--”
“If you’re gonna Queer Eye me, I swear to God,” Kai complains.
“Will you just... I was gonna say you should wear a tiny bit of eyeliner. It’s like, accentuating your features or some shit.”
“Why should I trust you?” Kai asks playfully. “I’ve never seen you go anywhere near a make-up in my life.”
Mira shrugs. “I saw it on Instagram. Anyways, Reeve said I have ‘good bone structure’, what does that even mean?”
“That he’s an idiot and I can’t believe you’re into him?” Kai ventures. Mira glares at him, so Kai leans back on the bed, rolling his eyes up to the bedroom ceiling at the glow-in-the-dark stick-on stars that have been there since he was seven. “Okay, okay. He was probably trying to compliment you, but since he’s a robot sent by aliens to infiltrate the earth he did it in a really bizarre way.”
Mira perks up. “You think?”
“He said ‘good’.”
“What should I say back?”
“Erm, that you’ll have his babies?”
Mira throws one of her glittery highlighter pens at him. It bounces off the center of his forehead and onto his lap. He laughs, picking it up and tossing it back.
“I don’t know,” he admits. “Maybe say that you like his bones, too.”
Mira takes out her phone.
-
adam: [A picture of a pina colada sitting on a kitchen counter in a pool of sunlight.]
adam: Winky face
kai: you could just like, use the emoji keyboard instead of typing it out
adam: Don’t make me frowny face
-
Kai spends fifteen minutes messing with his hair in the mirror. He gels it sticking up, twists his mouth critically at his reflection, and wets his hands to wipe it out. Nothing’s working for him today. It’s just one of those things, his clothes seem to hang off him awkwardly, and nothing looks right.
He makes a sound of frustration, and his mom pokes her head into the bathroom.
“Oh,” she says. “I thought you were going to a party?”
“Mom,” he growls. “I’m getting ready!”
“Hm.” 
She pushes the door all the way open, surveys him from head to toe, and reaches over to run a hand through his hair, leaving parts sticking up in her wake. Kai looks in the mirror. Now, instead of awkward ‘trying-too-hard’, he looks artfully tousled. He unbuttons two top buttons of his tiger shirt, and messes with the collar to make it look like someone had grabbed it and reeled him in for a kiss. He grins at himself.
“That’s better, I think,” she says.
“Thanks Mom,” he says, shuffling past her and out to the hallway.
“Limit yourself to three drinks!” she calls as he stuffs his feet into old converse. “If you get too intoxicated to drive, spend the night! Just text! Don’t forget to wear condoms and--”
Kai shuts the door in her face.
His car is a silver Prius, owned five times prior to him. The interior always smells a little bit like shamrock shake and in the winter requires a prayer and three engine turnovers to start. Kai loves it.
He pulls up to Adam’s street and texts without looking that he’s close. He parks in the street, and jogs up to Adam’s front door. He raps his knuckles on Adam’s door, the red one with caterpillar decals, and a blue handprint on the doorknob.
Adam throws open the door. “Gimme a sec, gotta grab my jacket.”
He’s wearing a white shirt and Kai’s favorite jeans of his (do Not judge him, okay, liking your crush’s ass is basically a given and is no longer considered a sin under the New Testament, so really Kai’s not weird for liking this pair of Adam’s jeans because it accentuates his butt.), the ones with rips in the thigh and at both knees, because Adam lives reckless and dies reckless.
He jams his feet into vans and grabs the heavy olive jacket off the coatrack and follows Kai out to the Prius.
“You look nice,” Adam says, offhand. Kai feels how hot his face immediately gets and hopes it isn’t ugly, sometimes his blushes look like a rash.
“Thanks,” he says, rubbing his neck, right hand fumbling for his keys.
They slide into their seats, and Kai is hit with the violent-sense memory of Hennesy whiskey, and dark streetlamps, and Adam’s soft voice and brown puppy-dog eyes imploring Kai, look at me. Look at me, please. And. And.
His phone buzzes.
“Oh, Vanessa wants us to pick up some soda,” Kai says through the rock in his throat.
“Ooh, ooh. Cherry 7-Up, Jarritos Lime, uh like, a ton of Mountain Dew... and Coke! We’ll need Coke,” Adam rambles as Kai pulls away from the street and heads toward the local general store.
-
mira: WHERE
mira: R
mira: U 
mira: 2
mira: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kai frowns at his phone. They’re in the check-out line, waiting for their turn with about three tons of soda on the conveyer. Kai’s got a fifty dollar bill from his parents, because they’re stupidly open-minded, but he’s still gonna make Vanessa pay him back. Adam’s inspecting the tabloids, making comments about all of the covers and whatever he thinks about them.
kai: WE’RE
kai: FUCKING
(Not sent !) kai: GETTING
(Not sent !) kai: DRINKS
mira: FUHDUK WHATTTT!!!?????????
Kai groans.
-
The party’s already alive by the time Adam and Kai get there, music thrumming against the walls of the house, the glass panes of the windows shaking with the vibrations. Weighed down by plastic bags full of drinks, and a little bit anxious, Kai fumbles with the door handle three times until Adam reaches over him and opens it.
The crowd is huge. He didn’t even know that Vanessa and Skeet knew this many people. There’s a wall of heat that hits them when they step inside, the difference between the inside and outside must be a solid ten degrees. Most people are crammed in the living room, near the speakers, where a sort of impromptu dancefloor has evolved. There are plenty of people lining the hallways, sitting on the stairs, and spilling over into the other places of the house. 
Vanessa has changed the lightbulbs to fuschia, cobalt, and teal colors, so the house looks almost like a club from a TV show. There’s this haze over everything - and, yep, definitely Skeet’s weed - that makes it seem smoky and mysterious. Adam kicks the door shut behind them as they begin to navigate the crowd.
Skeet’s leaning against one of the walls, talking to a tiny girl with piercings and too much eyeliner. She tosses her head, her hair flying up like a halo for a moment, luminescent in the multicolored lights of the house, and leans closer to Skeet. She’s holding a red solo cup, Skeet’s holding weed, and Kai’s arms are starting to hurt from all the soda.
“So, your, like, real name is Skeet? What kind of name is that? I mean, like, who does that to their kid?” she’s asking, valley girl accent and everything, even twirling a strand of hair around her finger.
Skeet shrugs, unbothered. “My parents are hippies.” he spots them, then, and lifts his joint in a get over here gesture. Kai and Adam shove some people to stand in front of him. He grins. “Oh, dudes, nice. You got drinks. I wasn’t sure if you would, since Mira told us that you, uh, made a pit stop.” he waggles his eyebrows.
Kai groans, flushing.
“Uh, yeah,” Adam says, lifting up his bags. “for drinks? Hello?”
Skeet leers, grin stretching bigger. Kai scowls. He’s going to eat her one day, all Hannibal-Lecter style.
“Where is Mira, anyway?” he cuts in before Skeet says anything weird. “Where should we put the drinks?”
“Oh, just, you know,” Skeet makes a vague gesture with his hand that doesn’t really mean anything. “I think I saw her in the kitchen?”
“Thanks,” Kai mutters, shoving through the crowd and deeper into the house.
Mira and Vanessa are leaning against the sink, Reeve’s standing at the counter, completely covered in bottles of alcohol, thumb and forefinger at his chin like he’s surveying fine art. 
“Oh! You made it! I hate vodka without coke,” Mira says, striding forward and grabbing the bags from Adam.
Kai followers her back to the counter, and shoves the receipt into Vanessa’s limp hands without looking at her. Together, Kai and Mira start to set up the drink line, stacking up all the empty red cups at the edge of the counter as they try to make sure all the soda and alcohol are equally accessible. How Skeet even gets this stuff... he shudders to think. 
Kai waits until Adam and Reeve have wandered out of earshot to lean into Mira’s space. Vanessa had vacated the premise the moment it looked like any physical work would be happening, so he doesn’t worry about her particular brand of nosiness. He takes his phone out of his pocket and tilts the screen so she can see it.
“My texts didn’t send,” he tells her in a low voice. “We weren’t actually, you know.” he flushes violently.
Mira shoots him a grin. “No, I guessed that something had happened. It was just funny. You look nice.”
He smiles at her, genuinely, which means his gums are probably showing. She looks nice too, in her little black dress with a flared skirt and combat boots. The neon green streaks in her hair glow in the weird light of the house.
“I like your outfit,” he says. The din in the background is starting to grow. More people have probably showed up.
She nods at his jeans. “Cuffed jeans. The true mark of a bisexual.”
Kai nods very seriously. “I can’t leave my house without announcing every aspect of my sexuality to the entire world.”
Adam’s talking to a group of people at the other end of the kitchen, his smile is blindly white in the pink light, skin pitched a shade darker, a stark difference against the glow of his white shirt. Staring, unable to look away, Kai steals Mira’s cup and takes a swig. It’s straight vodka, so Kai coughs immediately when it hits his tongue.
Mira laughs at him.
-
Group: party  🎉🥂🥳🎊 time
speedyskeet: do any of u know anyone named travis montery
mirakat: no
lochnessa: No
abeaverdam: Nope!
humantorchkai: no
reever: nah
speedyskeet: fucking L lmao
speedyskeet: im kicking this fool out then
-
Kai’s wandering around, pleasantly buzzed from two Cherry 7-Ups with a tiny bit of vodka, looking for any familiar face. Mira and Reeve had abandoned him pretty much straight away, he’d left Adam alone in the kitchen, and he’s actively avoiding Vanessa. 
He stumbles around, moving his shoulders a bit in time with the music, his body gone languid and loose from the heat and the alcohol and the atmosphere.
His phone beeps at him again. He really hopes it's not Skeet checking with them before he bounces a guy again. It’s just Mira, he sees, when he’s fumbled his phone out of his back pocket. He has to squint to read in the pink light amid the thrumming bodies of people all around him.
Eventually, he escapes the crowd and heads down the stairs to the “game room” and finds another living room, with a soft white carpet and a couch in front of a big flatscreen. There’s a group of about a dozen kids, plus Kai’s friends, sitting on the carpet in a circle by the couch, with a beer bottle laying on a Monopoly game board. Kai blinks, the lights here aren’t fun colors, and everyone in the circle raises their arms and cheers when they see him.
He walks over to them. Mira grabs his arm and begins to drag him onto the carpet beside her. The group begins to chant.
“Spin the bottle! Spin the bottle!”
Oh, no fuck, Kai thinks, beginning to resist Mira’s grip on his arm. His drink is sloshing about, and Kai holds it away from his shirt and pants as he tries to reverse his crouch and pull his arm back. Skeet reaches up and confiscates the cup, downing the rest of it in one go.
“Spin the bottle! Spin the bottle! Spin the bottle!”
But he’s buzzed and his coordination is spotty, so when Adam reaches out with his hand and spins the beer bottle, Mira tugs once, hard, and Kai crashes onto the carpet, and the bottle spins,
and spins,
and spins.
And points the neck straight at Kai’s disheveled spot in the circle.
So, let’s revisit that cursed theory, shall we?
Kai looks at Adam, and Adam looks at him. He’s got that dopey half-smile on his face, and his pupils are blown wide, iris a thin gold ring around them. Kai knows when Adam’s drunk, or blackout, and he’s tipsy right now, just like Kai. And... oh no. But the kids in the circle are jeering, giggling delightedly.
“Uh,” Kai says.
Adam licks his lips, and Kai tracks the movement of his tongue helplessly. His eyes are moving on Kai’s face, like he’s cataloging everything, like he can’t keep them still. Kai’s mouth is very, very dry, and he misses having the cup in his hand.
“So, uh,” he says, and the tension buzzes even harder. “Is this, like, a kissing thing?”
Skeet grabs him by the arms and manhandles him up. Reeve and Vanessa grab Adam and start frogmarching them down the short hall toward some rooms and closed doors.
“No,” Skeet says, “This is more like a seven minutes in heaven thing.”
“Wait,” Kai says. Skeet reaches past him and opens a door. “Wait.” Skeet pushes him in, and Adam follows behind. “Wait.” The door clicks shut, then there's a clunk, then the sound of something heavy being pushed against the door.
Kai tries the knob, but it's locked. He jiggles it, but his muscles won’t cooperate and yank hard enough. Adam could probably break it open, but Kai has the vague thought of Vanessa’s parents and property damage, and underage drinking.
“Guys!” Adam yells. He pounds on the door with his fist. “Guys! This isn’t funny!”
But they don’t answer.
Evil. Mental note: make sure your friends aren’t evil next time.
“Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while,” Kai sighs, giving up on the door.
They’ll just have to wait out the seven-minute sentence. It’s simultaneously worse and so much better than the alternative. This way, Adam won’t have to kiss Kai if he doesn’t want to. But also: he won’t have to kiss Kai if he doesn’t want to. It’s a testament to how drunk all of them really are.
Kai turns, presses his back against the door, and slides down it, pulling his knees to his chest, wrapping his hands around his shins, and resting his cheek on his knee. He surveys the room. It’s small and dark, Kai doesn’t have the wherewithal to search for the light switch, but from what Kai can see it looks like a guest room no one ever uses and has accumulated with old junk. There’s a tiny window at the opposite wall that leads up to the lawn. Adam groans and drops onto the ground beside Kai.
The night is clear the moonlight is touching the window and peeking into the room. Adam’s shirt is glowing against his skin from the moonlight, his eyes a bright point in the semi-dark of the room. Kai locks eyes with Adam, and the tension from earlier crops back up tenfold.
This situation is... stupidly pointed. Kai’s pretty sure Reeve is the only person in the world who knows Kai thinks Adam is kinda hot, but he’d also have to be massively stupid to ignore the strain in their friend group lately.
Adam’s looking at him the way he does right before he reaches out to touch Kai’s hair, or brush his fingers against Kai’s freckles, or leans over to kiss Kai’s cheek. He’s looking at Kai like a hungry man, like he’s about to make the stupidest decision of his life and never look back. Kai can feel the pull of that look drawing him in, the temptation to run his hands against Adam’s chest, touching his shoulders or his mouth.
So Kai does the only thing he can think of.
“What did you think of that new Hey Arthur episode?”
Adam blinks at him. “Uh. You mean that kids show?”
Kai bites his lip and nods vigorously. 
Totally. Totally. Totally screwed.
-
reeb: [A video of Mira on the dancefloor among a huge throng of teens. The song in the background is completely drowned out by people attempting to sing along drunkenly. She’s grinding against Vanessa, who’s wearing Skeet’s sunglasses and drinking a mimosa with a cocktail umbrella in it.]
(Not sent !) kai: let us out of here!!! its been like 15 mins!!!! guys!!! dam’s phone is dead!!!!!
(Not sent !) kai: goddamn it COME GET US
(Not sent !) kai: NOTHING IS SENDING!!
reeb: lol wya we cant find dam either
(Not sent !) kai: YOU LEFT US IN THE BASEMENT
-
“Ugh,” Kai says, flopping back down onto the pillows beside Adam. At some point during their imprisonment slash debate on the ethics of twenty-three seasons of the same children’s cartoon, they’d moved from the floor to the twin bed. “I’m pretty sure they forgot about us.”
“Well, it’s been like thirty minutes. And they’re drunk.”
Kai’s starting to sober up. He has to pee, and his mouth tastes like cherry coughdrops. He stands up on the bed, bouncing a bit on the mattress. He reaches up and touches the seam of the window and the sill.
“What are you doing?” Adam asks, trepidation in his voice.
“Uh, escaping?” Kai says.
Kai presses his foot onto the upside down elliptical that’s propped precariously against an old wardrobe. He puts some of his weight on it, testing. Satisfied that it won’t give, Kai lifts himself up onto it, closer to the window, and pushes against the glass pane. The window opens out suddenly, making Kai wobble. The wardrobe groans.
“Careful!” Adam barks.
Kai glances back at Adam, his worried eyes watching Kai from the bed, sitting up on his knees in a half crouch. Kai sticks his head out the narrow window, then his shoulders, and manages to drag himself up and out.
He turns back around and offers his hand to Adam.
“Come on,” he says. “I’ll help you out.”
Adam climbs up onto the elliptical like Kai had, reaches his right hand to Kai’s left and uses his left to leverage himself closer to the window. The wardrobe and the elliptical make that sound again, like they’re scraping together.
“Hurry!” Kai says, afraid of the whole makeshift apparatus falling apart. Adam’s left palm slaps against Kai’s right and Kai pulls.
The elliptical falls over as Kai yanks Adam up, a great big crash resounding in the room they just escaped. Kai’s momentum and Adam’s weight makes Kai step back once, then twice, then his footing goes and he sprawls onto his back, Adam on top of him, in one big undignified heap.
Adam looks down at him. He looks more sober, too, like he hasn’t had much to drink. Kai should really be pushing Adam off of him. Or trying to sit up. But his hands are on Adam’s waist, and Adam’s looking at Kai’s face like he can’t quite look at anything else, and Kai cannot, for the life of him, break this moment.
Adam’s hands are on either side of Kai’s face, boxing him in. His breath puffs against Kai’s mouth over and over as he breathes shallowly. His eyes flick all over Kai’s face, and Kai’s thinking kiss me, please so hard he’s pretty sure NASA catches the brainwaves.
“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice,” he says, voice soft and vulnerable, like Kai has the power to hurt him with whatever Kai says next.
Kai’s hands tighten on Adam’s waist. He’s thought about this a lot. Like, a stupid amount. Who doesn’t daydream about confessing to your crush? But Kai cannot dredge up any words to say. He’s dry, completely dry, and he can only think about how good Adam’s weight feels on him. He dips his eyes to Adam’s mouth and thinks This is where I kiss him, right? and Adam’s eyes slide shut as he leans in, towards Kai, and Kai loses his mind.
The backdoor opens, the sounds of the party spilling out into the night air, pink light washing over them. Adam scrambles off Kai so fast that he’s pretty sure he breaks the world record for speed, and stands up.
Kai props himself onto his elbows and squints at the silhouette in the doorway.
“Vanessa?”
“Oh my God, there you guys are!” she leans back into the house to yell, “Guys! I found Adam and Kai! They were fucking around in the backyard!”
“Hey!” Adam snaps indignantly. “You locked us in the basement! We had to escape!”
Vanessa rolls her eyes at them.
-
adam: hey uh
adam: sorry about what i said when i was drunk lol
adam: i didn’t mean it
-
Kai turns his phone off and stuffs it into his bag, frustrated. He hadn’t meant to not talk to Adam all weekend, he’d just needed to think things through, and then his dad had asked him to help paint the deck, and he’d had to finish up some code for robotics and time had kinda slipped away from him without really meaning to.
He hadn’t meant to ignore everyone else, either, but they weren’t in a Situation with Kai on Friday night, and he’s not in love with them, and they didn’t seem to mind so much. 
Kai had spent all weekend staring at the texts, in between being too busy to answer them, but he can’t figure out what to say back. He’d gotten them Saturday morning after the party, probably because he hadn’t stuck around long enough to be left alone with Adam again.
Kai had left because.
Well, because.
Because he feels played.
Is that it? He can’t tell. He just feels so hollow about it. Adam doesn’t mean to, Kai knows that, but it still feels like he’s being led on. Adam has kissed him once while black out and almost kissed him while tipsy and flirts pretty outrageously, and it’s all too much for Kai’s head, which is designed for building robots and lying to his English teachers.
So at lunch, instead of going to Mr Tucker’s room, he lets Freddie from Calc drag him to the auditorium to help build the drama department’s Spring play set.
He’s not avoiding anyone. He’s just... helping his friends.
Fuck.
-
reeb: ok i give
reeb: wtf is going on
kai: ?
reeb: don’t “?” me mfer
reeb: adam is sulking n shit and u’ve been sorta MIA
kai: i’ve been busy, sorry
kai: i am the captain of a team u know. its not personal. i’ll hang out with you guys soon
reeb: spidey sense says there is something u are not telling me
kai: i really do think your spidey sense is actually overactive bladder syndrome
reeb: [An image of the caveman spongebob meme.]
-
He’s in the library, sitting in his favorite spot nestled in the bookshelves, brow furrowed over The Great Gatsby, his English journal, the notes Hannah lent him, and the Sparknotes page for the novel, surrounded by every color highlighter and pen, just trying to get his homework done, when Adam ambushes him.
“You’re avoiding me,” he says, out of nowhere.
Kai jumps, sending his highlighters and books flying. Adam is standing above him, eyebrows furrowed and his arms crossed. He looks a little bit light a superhero, all righteous indignation at injustice, his muscles buldging slightly. You’re dead. Goodbye. his brain supplies.
“Holy shit,” he says, gathering his stuff back up slowly. “You scared me.”
Adam’s eyes soften. “Sorry,” he murmurs.
Kai shrugs. “Don’t worry about it.”
The silence hangs there as Kai avoids his gaze, reshuffling Hannah’s notes back into their correct order. He’s lost his page in the book, so he opens it to the middle and starts looking for the correct page number. There’s no sound in this corner of the library except for Kai’s over-loud breathing and the turning of pages.
Go away go away go away, Kai prays, wanting the world to end so he won’t ever have to face this moment. He thinks about the echo of Adam’s voice in his memory, Kai, look at me, the feeling of Adam’s weight in his lap, the ache Kai feels when he looks at Adam, and wishes that he could just stand up and run.
Adam clears his throat. “You’ve been avoiding me,” he says again, only this time it comes out more like a question.
Kai keeps his face as blank as possible, schools it into something politely curious unlike the shattered glass mosaic he feels like. “Am I?”
Adam rubs his hand across the back of his neck. “Look, I’m sorry,” he says haltingly, sliding his hands into his pockets. “I shouldn’t have... come on to you like that. It was inappropriate, and we were both drunk. And I didn’t mean it.”
Kai looks at him for a long moment. He can feel it, a rock on his chest, crushing him. He feels the ball in his throat, the hot prickle against the backs of his eyelids. “I know,” he says eventually. His voice comes out steady, even though he feels like he’s falling apart.
“So... we’re cool?”
Kai forces himself to nod. “Okay.”
“Really? Because I still feel like I fucked up somewhere here.” Adam takes his hands out of his pockets to open them, palms up, like he’s pleading. “Tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it.”
And it’s now or never. As much as Kai abhors the idea of talking about his feelings in the school library at 4 PM, as much as he wants to just lie through his teeth and stitch this all back up into one big internal bag of FUCK and pretend like nothing happened, he’d be leaving Adam hanging, and Kai’s not a dick.
He takes a deep breath. Then another one. He tries to channel his internal Reeve, but decides against it because Reeve’s kinda an asshole.
“I just... wish you did,” Kai says eventually. If he wasn’t himself, he’d slap him. Adam stares at Kai like he’d just spoken another language, like he’d just spat out part of a puzzle to piece together.
“Wish I did... what?” he asks slowly.
“Mean it,” Kai grits out, the words dragged from him. He feels ridiculous. This is stupid.
“Mean...?” Adam says, like he’s stupid. Kai scowls at him.
“Do you remember the St Eve’s party?”
Adam shrugs, looking helpless and confused.
“I drove you home that party. I drive you home every party. And every time we’re alone, you say that you like me, that you want me to go inside with you, that you think about me all the time,” Kai’s stomach is churning and Adam looks like he’s about to faint.
“I didn’t...”
Kai can’t hear him say it again. “And I know that you’re just drunk, and that’s just what you’re like when you’re drunk, but I just... I just wanted it to be true so bad. Part of me kept driving you home because I wanted you to be like that with me, part of me just wanted to pretend. But then you kissed me, and I just...” Kai makes a helpless gesture with his hands.
Adam licks his lips. He’s breathing a bit hard.
“...Fell apart,” Kai finishes.
Adam’s looking at him, wide-eyed, deer-in-the-headlights look, pure panic. Kai’s fucked it up, ruined their friendship, destroyed their friend-group, and will probably be unable to look anyone in the eye for a very long time. 
Adam didn’t want to hear this. Kai should’ve just lied, shut it all up and let himself wither up inside. He should’ve avoided Adam harder, or refrained from falling in love with him in the first place. He should’ve just dated Jesse when she’d asked and made himself get over Adam.
 “How long?”
Kai blinks. “Huh?”
“How long have you wanted...?” he shrugs.
Ah. The million dollar question.
“Officially? Middle of junior year. If I’m honest with myself? Probably since middle school.”
Adam’s mouth opens and closes nonsensically. Kai asks God to strike him down, just so this can end, just so Kai can go back to trying to figure out what the fuck is up with Gatsby and Jay, just so Adam will stop looking at him like that, like Kai’s killed his puppy.
Adam drops to his knees in front of Kai.
“Okay. Since freshman year. And I’m a liar. I did mean it. I kept thinking, you know, maybe you’d like me back, because I could see you looking, but I just couldn’t make myself say anything. And I meant it. I mean it. I do. I want to kiss you.”
Kai swallows. He’s feeling that dangerous thing again, like there are snakes in his chest, or his feelings are in a bucket that’s about to overflow.
“Okay,” he squeaks out.
Adam leans down and fits their mouths together. It’s chaste, and Kai’s lips are a little bit chapped, and he didn’t close his eyes, but when Adam pulls back Kai smiles so hard his mouth hurts. 
And he leans up to kiss Adam, insistent, insistent, tasting Adam without Hennessy whiskey (and he does taste fantastic), and something electric happens to Kai’s spine when their tongues touch. He feels like he’s going to burn up, burst into stars, create a fissure in the earth that goes down to the core, or all three at once.
Adam licks along the roof of Kai’s mouth and yeah - that’s the one thing he’d like to never, ever, ever forget.
He’s about to be totally, totally, totally screwed. 
-
Group: dandilyin hoes MFERsssss!! skeet DONT CHANGE CHAT NAME
mirakat: omfg
mirakat: k & a suckin face in library
mirakat: [A blurry creeper picture of Kai pressed against the bookshelves, Adam leaning over him. Their silhouettes are blacked out against the sunlight streaming in through the window, so they almost look like one body. It’s taken at an angle and half of a wooden shelf is in frame.]
speedyskeet: arent they in this GC too
lochnessa: Lmfaaooooooo
speedyskeet: they r gonna see this.....
reever: WTF ADAM’S INTO KAI???
reever: ?????
lochnessa: What planet do you live on
speedyskeet: fuckin jesus christ reeb
locknessa: Literally no one knew KAI was into Adam. EVERYONE KNEW ADAM WAS INTO KAI
reever: WHY AM I THE LAST ONE TO KNOW STUFF
mirakat: s2g i tld u this whn we were @ fortescue’s u nvr listen 2 me
-
“I hate them all,” Kai announces.
Adam looks up at him from where his head is pillowed on Kai’s thighs, Pride and Prejudice held aloft. 
“Don’t worry, I set all their ringtones to Maroon 5.”
send me a ship + a prompt and i’ll write you a drabble!
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fearsbellsarchived · 5 years
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[me? Thinking about a gf fairytales au instead of being productive? More likely than u think!!! think ou.at buT BETTER and w/o the real world dimension hopping part. under the cut bc i just copy/pasted my tags from forever ago to put them in one place
mabel and dipper are hansel and gretal
paz is sleeping beauty 
bill is maleficient 
if we’re gonna get disney about it wendy as merida 
i LOVE the idea of tambry as rapunzel??? 
mabel can also be like...eric from the little mermaid 
so mermando can be ariel 
gIDEON AS URSULA/VANESSA IN THAT VEIN THO 
bill is also rumplestilskin 
stan can be the huntsman (idk from which story cause theres a fEW BUT)
ford is the sorcerer from fanstasia 
ford is teaching dipper magic....and instead of a true love’s kiss that’s how he wakes paz (maybe?)
the northwests made a deal w bill like in the most famous version of rumplestilskin but instead of wanting paz for himself he just wanted to steal her body at 16
so when they lose the deal they ask for help from ford and ford’s like “yo i can maybe change the deal??? a little bit???” so instead of bill taking her over when he goes to she falls asleep ​
so dipper wasnt supposed to wake her up but he found her and fords notes and he and mabel went on an adventure
bill is all the villains 
billains 
so stan has to leave mabel and dipper in the woods (idk y it wasnt for long the twins are just impatient) so stan disappears and the twins are like “lETS EXPLORE THE WOODS”
they come across some creepy old house w a lot of spiderwebs (can u guess the villain yet?)
an older woman comes out and is like “why are you guys lost in the forest?”
mabel points to the glitter trail “we’re not lost”
dipper looks behind them ‘mabel!!! where’s all the glitter?!”
(ACTUALLY MAYBE ITS YARN???) 
so they lose the trail 
meanwhile stan is losing his fucking mind
he follows the stray glitter but it’s blown all over
he feels “LOST IN THE WOOOOODDDS!!!”
so the old lady offers for them to stay the night bc its getting late
dipper is SUPER sus but he plays it cool surprisingly
mabel is So In!
long short...stan eventually saves them from darlene’s trap
usually shes just a maneater but look
when u live in the woods u do what u can
so stan hauls them back to their cottage
dipper knew there was weird shit out there but he wants MORE
he starts going through his great-uncle’s journals (*cue the dipper squee*)
he reads about bill and his deal w paz’s parents
he’s like....’maybe we should rescue her?’
ford wont tell him why they cant
so dipper and mabel sneak out
they steal the grunkles’ boat
mabel falls over board???
dipper tries like HELL to save her
but then he sees mermando save her
SO MABEL IS SAVED BY MERMANDO!!! 
gideon (who had long-loved mabel from afar) finds out
he visits the merman to trick him
all mabel remembers is his voice
so YES mermando trades his voice for legs just like the movie
sue me okay w his distinct accent it makes sense!!!
so the twins get sidetracked bc mermando shows up out of nowhere
they dock on a small island for a pit stop and thats when ‘kiss the girl’ happens
they dont kiss so they move on
they dock on another stretch of land the next day
AND GIDEON APPEARS
the twins have only heard about him from their grunkles so mabel hears his voice and goes *heart eyes*
mermando is Distressed
dipper is Focused on getting to this sleeping princess
mabel makes fun of him for liking her
SO GIDEON HAS MERMANDOS VOICE!
at one point dipper catches him w/o the amulet that makes him sound like mermando
and he tells mabel and its kinda like “the hand that rocks the mabel” or whatever the ep was called
it takes dipper and mermando being threatened (and gideons voice slipping) for her to catch on and she breaks up w him
dipper wants to throw him overboard
they just leave him on the next inhabited island they find
mermando got his kiss but decides to go back to the ocean anyway
he promises to write
mabel is Sad
SO BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED ADVENTURE!
the twins come across a land near the one paz is on and decide to stop for food and to stretch their legs and other hygiene things
they find out there’s some archery thing going on and mabel is like ’ooooh can we try?!’
turns out its for neighboring kingdoms’ princes to win a princess
mabel and dipper think this is RIDICULOUS so they crash it
mabel steps up to shoot and everyone’s like ‘wHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?’
then dipper steps up beside her. neither of them have shot a bow before
they shoot at the same time. mabel’s like thisclose to the bullseye. dippers too far right
THEN!!! PRINCESS WENDY COMES OUT OF NOWHERE
DIPPER AND MABEL ARE IN AWE OF THIS VALKYRIE. THEYRE BOTH READY FOR HER TO KILL THEM BC THEY THINK ITLL BE AWESOME
but wendy is like ‘ACTUALLY ILL SHOOT FOR MYSELF THANKS’ and splits like three arrows down the middle w her accuracy
she looks at mabel and dipper and is like ‘u dudes look fun! ive never seen u before who are u???’
and they’re like ‘WELL!’ and launch into detail about their adventure w overlapping voices and sound affects and VAST description
anyways. i cant decide how old people are rn okay 
so wendy is like “hey dad??? im going on an adventure w these guys!” and her dad is like “unusual but u DID just win ur own hand. so ill allow it”
“YES! can i take soos too?!” 
“sure!”
sO THEYRE OFF AGAIN!!! lemme tell u the ship is filling faST!!!
they get to paz’s land. and the first thing they find is a girl in a tower with long purple hair.
everyone is pretty much just making ‘wtf’ faces for like....ten minutes.
finally wendy calls up the tower like “YO! WHATS W ALL THE HAIR?!”
tambry leans out the window w a bored expression and goes “its mine. im tambry. who r u?”
they introduce themselves and are like “u wanna come on our adventure?”
then....ROBBIE APPEARS!
and he knows where the princess is!!!
”oh yeah. her. shes also in a tower. its got a door but its guarded by gnomes.”
then robbie climbs tambrys hair pecks her cheek and ducks in the tower
they decide to head for the tower robbie directed them to. but they have to pass the castle. Northwest Castle
robbie warned them about the northwests. said that the princess was one and before she disappeared she was the snottiest brat hed ever met
so they became friends despite the fact that he plays music for a living (and not very well either)
her parents told her of the spell when she was twelve
so robbie’s like “they are not nice people and neither was she??? most of the townsfolk are glad shes asleep tbh”
but dammit! dipper came here for an adventure!!! he wasnt going to stop just bc the princess wasnt what he expected!
so they continue on!
mabel is like “maybe she doesnt KNOW how to be nice!”
and soos is just excited to be there!
and wendy is just...u kno...chill
they start to get close to the castle and they feel like they’re being watched
and then soos notices the PEACOCKS!
they assume theyre spies for the king and queen. which is half true?
they can also warn bill if someone is near pacifica
oh damn imagine that
being stuck asleep w a DREAM DEMON in ur head
sorry for the accidental psychological torture paz
WHICH IS THE ONLY TORTURE SHES HAD!
i think to make up for risking her life as a baby ther parents were like “we’re just gonna spoil u rotten and PRETEND u do no wrong eVERYTHING IS FINE”
so dipper is reading the journal and he FINALLY gets to the true loves kiss part of the deal
and he looks around at the party like “oh shit true love what do we do???”
mabel suggests he at least try and everyone agrees that yeah okay thats the back up plan
but dipper wants to use a SPELL!!!
so the king and queen see him w the journal and remember ford having the same one
so everyone is brought to the king and queen
theyre like “pRINCESS GWENDOLYN?!”
bc this is MY STORY and if i wanna give wendy a more princess-y name thEN I WILL
i say as i continue to refer to mason as DIPPER!!!
SO THEYRE MEETING THE NORTHWESTS!!!
wendys like “yes that is me the princess” and then everyone else introduces themselves...w dipper introducing himself as mason bc it just sounds more fairytale-y
soos is jesus (hey zeus! not jee sus)
soos is like....wendys bff/personal servant but mostly bff
so they explain their adventure to the northwests as quickly as possible
preston is no patient man and he’s is like “tbh its probably important she be here for her 18th bday soooo??? as long as she wakes up by next year why not???”
but only bc dipper was like “i wANNA USE MAGIC I DONT WANNA KISS HER THATS PLAN B!!!”
plus u kno...even if he DOES whats the guarantee itll work???
the guarantee is me being a filthy shipper tHATS WHAT!!!
so they continue to the tower!
there is probably a sidequest thingy with giffany bc i liked that episode
also soos needs more screentime im sorry
SO THEN!!! FINALLY!!!! THEY MAKE IT TO THE TOWER!!!
WHICH IS!!!
IN FACT!!!
GUARDED
BY
GNOMES!]
also theres a manotaur/multi-bear sidequest i just thought of bc i like THAT episode!!!
is this gf, a fairytale, sk.yrim, or a d.n.d campaign now??? WHO KNOWS!!! ITS NOT ME!!!
SO THEY GOTTA GET PAST THE GNOMES!
first they offer safe passage in exchange for mabel as their queen
after thats declined theyre like “or the redhead. well take her!”
this is also declined
finally jeff tells them to attack
at first the party tries to fight them off and they do okay
uNTIL SOME GNOME WEAPONIZED SCHMEBULOCKS RAINBOW PUKE!!! (i think it’s toxic tbh but i dONT REMEMBER)
finally mabel just pulls out her trusty crosSbow (aka “GRAPPLING HOOK!”) and they just make a tightrope to the window above the door
wendy goes first and NAILS it
then everyone else follows
soos almost falls and gets left to the gnomes but everyone helps him balance and they all make it through the window
coincidentally. the window leads to the princess’s room
OH MAN WHY DIDNT I USE THE PTERODACTYL?!
oh well. anyways.
everyone is looking around the room and like...taking it all in
dipper takes a moment...then walks over to the princess
he isnt sure if waking her will also wake the demon
crossover even more w my old paciphera au??? idk probably not
so dipper tries the spells he narrowed it down to
none of them work
all his friends have returned to the princess’s room and mabel is like “u gotta kiss her brobro!”
so dipper...poor poor dipper...just leans forward and kisses her
paz pretty much snaps her eyes open when dipper is a half inch from her face while he’s pulling back 
and even tho she was forewarned she wasnt expecting DIPPER so she SCREAMS
dippers ears are ringing
she shuts her eyes and stills her breathing and sits up.
AND SEES EVERYONE ELSE AND SCREAMS AGAIN
“i dIDNT EXPECT U TO BRING *FRIENDS*!”
so once shes a little more calm they explain the whole adventure to her
paz feels a little honored they came all this way just for her
also since True Love beats everything bill is like.....back in his home dimension. also paz has been fighting him for like....over a year.
so paz is like....ready to Go. u kno. just wants to go HOME.
they get pazs shit together and exit the tower through the door
she says goodbye to the gnomes. all by name.
“oh yeah mom and dad made them my personal guard when i was like...eight. theyve been prepping for this my whole life. they’ll meet me back at the castle.” so then she starts telling them about herself and her last like 
two years of being asleep w a DREAM DEMON
“sometimes i got the weirdest nightmares??? and they never ended. but when i woke up i couldnt remember anything specific.”
she and dipper talk away from the group. he tells her about how hes her true love and everything “okay well. we’ll have to lie to my parents and say it was a spell. bc they will NOT approve of us being true loves and if they hurt you...”
“then they hurt *you* too!” dipper finishes (idk maybe a combo w a soulmate au thing?)
meanwhile mabel is like...whining about boy problems??? and wendy is like “this is y boys r dumb.”
soos is like...wandering off. I WANNA INCORPORATE MELODY BUT WHO SHOULD SHE BE?!
paz and dipper start like....arguing about how to deal w her parents
apparently they actually ARENT that nice. if she doesnt marry a prince they’ll give her over to bill completely...or something idk
SO theyre nearing the castle!!!
theyve written theyre grunkles okay no worries. also mermando.
thats y mabels complaing about boys.
mermando and that manatee wife of his!!!
paz is not exactly ready to face her parents so she convinces the party (roll for charisma) to go the long way
which is actually just circles
anyways
we run back in to melody and soos and the party is like ‘wHOOPS WE DIDNT EVEN NOTICE GLAD U DIDNT GET EATEN BY A SPIDER LADY!
maybe melody is like....a fairy???
something light and ‘childish’ bc thatd fit her personality
soos is like “ive BEEN here. u dudes have been going in circles.” and everyone glares at paz.
“im sorry!!! i just dont want to go back!!!”
“ur dad made us promise to have u back for ur 18th bday.” says dipper while he tries to stay mad at his future wife
paz is like “YEAH SO HE CAN MARRY ME OFF TO A PRINCE!!!”
idk why paz and dips are being better at being soulmates here okay i was like....sleep-drunk when i first wrote this
so the party has a choice to make.
take paz back home where she wont be able to be w her TL (which in some cases has probably led to death) OR!!!
sneak her out and take her home w them?!
wendys probably gotta go back to her own kingdom tho.
and soos wants to stay w melody
U KNOW WHAT I JUST REALIZED?!
sTAN NEVER GOT TO BE SOOS’S DAD!!!!
SORRY SOOS!!!
so anyways
mabel and dipper decide to help her sneak out
luckily she knows all the blindspots
it takes longer but they finally make it back to their ship
they say theyre goodbyes to soos and melody and paz wishes them well in her kingdom. she promises to return when shes ready to rule
they load the ship and sail to wendys kingdom next
they stay a few days to recuperate
paz has trouble sleeping bc when she does the nightmares come back.
cue a kat.niss/pee.ta thing where paz sleeps next to dips bc it keeps the nightmares away
wendy has to explain why soos isnt w them to her dad who kinda shrugs it off?
“u proved u can protect urself.” or something.
after like.....a whole fucking year the twins are heading home.
paz and dipper sleep together on the ship too bc its just fucking easier
paz is nervous to meet the grunks
she and dipper arent exactly....dating??? its def more like soulmate au
where theyre AWARE theyre supposed to be together but they dont even rly know if they WANT to be together.
paz is p much “i dont rly wanna be w anyone else. ill let u kno if that changes.” and dips is like “tbh same.”
mabel is already planning a big royal wedding.
iDK Y BUT I WANT THEM TO FIND OUT THEYVE BEEN ROYALTY ALL THIS TIME??? probably just bc i LOVE that trope!!! but theyre not so its whateves.
so they FINALLY get home. mabel has been writing letters this whole time. to mermanso. to soos and melody. to wendy.
shes the captain of the dip.ifica ship and shes gotta keep her crewmembers in the know!!!
the twins also wrote to the grunks the whole time so!!!! no worries!!!
paz tries writing to her parents...but she can never find the right words.
meeting the grunks isnt as bad as she thought???
stan loves her off the bat. partially bc shes rich and bc she doesnt take shit
ford is pleased to meet the girl he saved and shes v v thankful to him for saving her life as best he could.
it takes her like a YEAR to write the letter.
she promises her parents she’ll return. AFTER shes married.
at this point she and dipper ARE together. they figured all theyre confusion out and are just living the good life!
mabel and wendy are doing the long distance thing. shes still friends w mermando.
robbie and tambry found paz and they write back and forth.
u CAN TAKE ROBBIE AND PAZ SIBLINGS FROM MY DECOMPOSING HANDS!!!
everything is as happily ever after as it can get.
and then dipper proposes despite knowing what it means.
BUT THATS A WHOLE OTHER ADVENTURE!!!!
*end credits roll. an epic theme song starts playing*
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The Professor Pt.4
A/N: IM SORRY! This took forever but work and school have been beating my ass hope you guys like it. its a little different than the other three parts but I worked hard on it. sorry for any mistakes 
Tags: @namelesslosers @blackchunkyqueen @panthergoddessbast @forbeautyandlife @cancerianprincess @shegoego @soulsparker @iamrheaspeaks @blq-gyal @ashrae720 @chaneajoyyy @loosewindmill @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @txmellayella @tiava143 @ohshititslezz
Pairing: Erick x Aniya
Characters: Erik Stevens
Fandom: Erik Stevens, Killmonger
Warnings: I’m not the best when it comes to following writing rules. I pretty much write how I want to, so if you’re a stickler for grammar and what not just ignore it or don’t read loll (I’m nice I promise.) Smut, oral (female reciving), jealousy
Word Count: 1.8k
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The sound of birds chirping woke me from my sleep. I kept my eyes closed enjoying the sound. I tried to shift and stretch my body when I realized I was trapped in place.
“Good morning beautiful.”
Suddenly my memory caught up with me and I remembered the night before. I remembered Erik and I remembered all the things we did. His powerful arms tightened their hold on me as he pulled me closer, his body pressed against mine.
“Good morning…Professor Stevens.” I giggled out.
“Please don’t call me that right now.”
We both chuckled. It was a little weird sounding but I couldn’t stop myself from teasing him a little.
“What should I call you then?” I asked caressing the arm that was draped over my torso.
“You can call me whatever you like.”
I pushed my hips into his making sure his morning wood rubbed against my ass. He groaned.
“I like that. I’ll have to think of the perfect name for you.
“Don’t play with me like that. You know we both have to be out the door in an hour.”
He placed a kiss on my neck before getting out of bed and putting his clothes on. Before he walked out the door he kissed me again.
“I better see you in class.” He said against my lips. Then he was gone.
I checked my phone to see a text from Simone saying she would meet me in class. The lecture Erik gave was simple enough. I could see him struggling to stay focused and not stare at me the whole time. When class was over I left without a word. Simone and I made our usual stop at the campus café to get our drinks. On our way out the doors we ran into Angel who was just on his way in.
“What’s up?” He asked with a big smile on his face.
“Not much just getting our drink on.” He and I both looked at Simone with a wtf kind of face. And she says I’m the weird one.I thought to myself.
“I see that... Anyway, my boy Trey is having this party at his crib this weekend you guys should come through.”
He smiled that smile again and I knew my answer. I know Simone was definitely going, seeing as Trey is her imaginary baby daddy and all.
“Okay we’ll be there.”
“Cool, cool. I’ll see you there.” We hugged briefly then went on our way.
Three days’ past and it was Saturday night. Party time. Simone and I slaved over our hair and makeup for an hour and a half before we were happy with our looks. We decided to wear matching fitted dresses. Mine deep burgundy and hers an olive green, with thigh high open toed boots. When we arrived to the address it was already lit. The music was going, it was packed and the drinks were flowing. Simone and I wasted no time getting our shots of henny down. Angel and Trey joined us. We drank, we danced and we we’re living our best lives. Suddenly a beat drops and I realize it’s my song, Anywhere by 112.
“Oh, shit that’s your thot pocket song bitch!” Simone yells loudly.
She wasn’t lying. Anytime I hear this song I get so turned on. I don’t know why it has this effect on me but it does. I was just intoxicated enough that I didn’t care who was around. I grabbed Angels hand pulling him to me then pushing him up against the wall. I could hear Simone, Trey and some other people that had been watching screaming and laughing in shock as I danced on Angel grinding my body into his in every which way. My hands wondered his body gently passing over his dick through his jeans ever so often. When the song ended, Angel was behind me, his hands gripping my waist when he whispered in my ear.
“You want to go upstairs?”
I nodded my head yes and he led the way. We ended up in Treys room. We laid on his bed and talked for what seemed like a long time. I wasn’t keeping track.
“I really can’t believe you’re single angel. I mean you’re funny, you’re smart, respectful and very sexy.”
He rolled onto his side to face me. I blushed.
“You think I’m sexy?” He asked looking me directly in the eyes.
“All that I said and sexy is all you heard?”
He chuckled.
“Nah I heard everything else but I’m just shocked to hear you say that. All this time I thought I wasn’t your type.”
“Why would you think that?” I asked brushing one of his curls from his face.
“Because I’ve been… I don’t know giving you little hints that I want you for a while now and you never really gave me the time of day.”
“I’m sorry daddy.”
Angels eyes widened in shock.
“What’s wrong? Don’t you like it when I call you daddy?” I asked playing coy.
“Say it again.”
“Daddy.” The word came out of my mouth as a whispery moan.
I took his hand and brought it to my lips, biting his index finger lightly. His lips parted as his breath grew heavier. He shifted his legs and I knew it was because he was getting hard for me. I let his hand go and raised my hips up off the bed lifting my dress and pushing my panties down over my ass then slowly up my legs until I pulled them off my feet. I dangled them above him as he turned onto his back to get a better view, his eyes never left them.
“What do you want?” I asked in a seductive voice.
He answered with no hesitation.
“You.”
“What do you want from me?”
“I want you to sit on my face.”
The way he said those words made my pussy so wet. I bit my lip as I swung my leg over him and positioned myself to straddle his face. His hands caressed my thighs and my hips as I hovered over him.
“You waited so long for this pussy huh?”
He nodded his head in agreeance
“So, long baby.”
I ran over his curls looking down at him and admiring him this way. So, needy for me.
“Stick your tongue out.” I demanded and he did.
I slowly lowered my dripping pussy onto his tongue, bouncing up and down a little before grinding my hips on him. He licked me long and slow. Exploring my folds with this tongue making me whimper and mewl. I placed my hands on the head board bracing myself up. He continued this slow torture until I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Angel pl- “
Before I could even get the word out he caught my sensitive clit with his lips. My hips bucked wildly. He held me in place with his strong hands as he ravaged me with his mouth. My hands gripped the headboard so hard I heard the wood creak under the pressure but I didn’t care. He growled against my core, sending vibrations of pleasure that rippled all over my body.
           I tried my hardest to hold back the orgasm I felt building inside of me but Angels mouth was way too good for that. I bit my lip to hid my moans not wanting him to know just how much I loved everything he was doing to me. It’s like he read my mind. His hold on me tightened as he placed a love bit on my inner thigh. The sting from the pain felt so good. I looked down to meet his eyes.
“Damn baby you taste…... sooo good” He growled.
           The sound of his voice filled with lust for me sent chills up my spine. I threw my head back in pleasure as he went back to work on my pussy. The sound of my phone vibrating on the dresser caught my attention and the name on the screen took me by surprise. It was Erik. I leaned over to grab my phone. Angel groaned in protest but that didn’t stop me.
“Angel you better not stop. If you do you’ll never taste this beautiful pussy again.”
He nodded in agreeance.
I clicked the screen to answer my phone.
“Helloooo.” I moaned.
“Aniya I been calling for days and you don’t answer. You leave all my texts on read. What’s going on wit you?”
           My heavy breathing and moans were my only response. There was a long pause before he spoke again. I could tell he was listening closely to make sure what he was hearing was correct.
“Are you really playing with your pussy right now? I mean at any other time I wouldn’t mind but I’m being serious right now.”
Heat began to build in my core and I knew I was close. I tangled my hands in Angels hair as I rode his face faster and harder, my moans and whimpers getting louder and louder.
“Aniya? Aniya? Answer me! Who are you with??” Erick yelled through the phone.
My entire body shook as my orgasm began to batter through me like a tidal wave. My hands sprang to the headboard for support. Angels mouth latched onto me and If his grip on me wasn’t so strong I might’ve jumped of the bed. I was so sensitive I could feel my heartbeat in my clit and just like that I could feel myself coming again.
“Angel please!” I begged biting my lip so hard I knew it would leave a mark.
“ANYIA! WHO THE FUCK IS ANGEL? I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DON’T ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW!”  
I smiled a little at the rage and jealousy in Erik’s voice but I didn’t care. All I cared about in that moment was how good Angel was making me feel. My body went stiff and I could feel my walls convulsing around Angels tongue over and over again as pressure built up inside me. I looked down into Angels eyes and they were glossed over with lust and passion, suddenly I felt a strong release and I screamed his name while cumming all over his face.
When I finally recover from my orgasmic high. I saw that his face was covered in my juices some even ran down his neck. We looked at each other and began to laugh. I leaned over to kiss him tasting myself on his lips.
“You should probably get cleaned up.”
Angel smiled and headed to the bathroom. When he was out of my view I turned to check my phone. Erik had hung up but I did have a text from him.
Erik:
You got me fucked up.
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thethirdwheel404 · 4 years
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Med Rewatch Series (#2)
\haha yeah I was totally planning on sleeping but I literally cannot think about anything else other than getting this idea out of my brain. so, we will try to get through the finale of s2: Love Hurts. please enjoy.
-okay so right off the bat before even starting the episode, i noted a few things. the episode description is “Robin experiences complications and a new face arrives at the hospital.” How fucking annoying that it’s the season finale and the entire episode is centered around connor? of course, at this point we don’t know that the ‘new face’ is his future love interest.
-also!!! the fact that ava is mentioned in the episode description of the season finale? That’s huge!
-the episode description makes it sound like nothing fucking happens in this episode.
-also i am extremely scared to start the ep bc i feel like it is going to through me straight back into the deep end and put me in a state of emotional shock.
-i will try to take very deep breaths before the episode starts. okay. here we go.
-does this episode open with robin being carted in on the ambo bc if this is the ep im thinking about, i remember appreciating how angsty this scene was
-i still remember charles yelling ‘2 of adavan!’
-okay hi sarah i really was not expecting to see you this soon
-oh wow. just. sarah calling shots in the ed. in control. you love to see it. also. im just now remembering how early in the ep we get to meet ava. i always remembered it as being at the very end but. i remember connor being distraught with his messy hair.
-also i’m highkey loving how out-of-control connor is rn
-reese. god i missed you so much.
-they counted again. love that.
-okay but like i have no analysis just every time sarah’s onscreen i just want to say ‘i love you’
- i have not heard sarah speak in a HOT SEC and god i forgot how deep her voice was and it is sending me (its not even that deep i just like, forgot.) It has been years and I honestly think i have forgotten who sarah really was. sad.
-like i don’t remember the last time i could describe her as in control but right now treating robin she’s calm (honestly bc she’s the only other shrink on the show, but HOLD ON WAIT DOESNT CHARLES GET SHOT AT THE END OF THIS EPISODE WHAT THE FUCK. reese has one moment. and then her and charles start bickering. i remember why i was so mad)
-i’m in love with her.
-i really have to sit through the next 40 mins of this and just everytime i see sarah going ‘i love her,’ and now you do too.
-oh my god CHARLES SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU CANNOT BLAME CONNOR FOR THIS
-also the reason i became disillusioned: dr charles just started being suuuuuper sus.
-i do love sarah. and honestly, connor, not my favorite, but this storyline really made me empathize with him. his girlfriend is having a psychotic break and people keep shitting on him. (maybe the reason i didn’t like ava at first. really kicked him while he was down)
-I... haha. sarah. hnghhh. you can guess the rest.
-if you were in this situation, with robin, would you be thinking like connor or would you be thinking like charles? personally- connor. Robin was fine. maybe a little impulsive to take her home, but charles was being suuuper overprotective (from what I remember).
-Charles: “This is on you. You did this.” I remember that line hitting really hard when I watched it the first time lmao damn.
-SARAH. HER EYES ARE RED. SHE’S SAD. SHE’S CRYING! COME ONNNN MEDDD YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME!!! (and I swallowed my water the wrong way which somehow triggered my gag reflex so now im crying too please god stop Im sorry what did I do)
-yay sarah. hey guys look at that. sarah gets to, like, do her job.
-ALSO I JUST REALIZED THAT S3 STILL SUCKS FOR SARAH BC OF HER INTENSE INTENSE PTSD??? LIKE SHE WHOLE ASS PEPPERSPRAYS HER PATIENT???
-also these are the clothes charles got shot in and honestly i’m not even mad. I’m mad that him getting shot put sarah through so much pain (i talked a lot about ava but y’all are really gonna see just how protective i am of sarah. like god even I forgot.)
-you can see how much sarah cares about connor. which is like, fantastically crazy. (it fuels the rheese shippers which is why i tend to be against it) but just like, that’s just how sarah is. she cares so much. she’s not even close to connor, but you can see how much she cares. this is why its so unfair for sarah to work in psych. like, she’s way too soft for that come on man. (y’all remember the huge car crash episode and at the end she tells ethan that it was nice to be back in the ed bc you can fix people’s bodies but not their minds? 1) she was adorable in that. 2) i am so scared for her. she just cares too much)
-okay but the above bullet is probably the exact reason why people ended up shipping ava and sarah. they both are characters who care way more than they let on. sarah is the only one in the hospital who would probably give ava a second chance after an icy first encounter. That being said, being realistic? ava is probably the only one who would she the bullshit that sarah has to go through everyday, so she would never have the icy first encounter. which in turn sets sarah’s empathy bells off or whatever.
-honestly? ava is a mean to people because she thinks they deserve it. that’s it. she’s not a bitch or anything like that (and yeah, ava stans do a little bit of overlooking her behavior bc hey if a careless med student bumps into her while passing by, thats on them). (and of course, in this world and in reesker minds, sarah has never done anything wrong, ever.)
-look guys, i did it. i boiled reesker down to its bare essentials! (lmao tho literally walking through it again from almost a totally fresh perspective, it is still so easy to see how they would have been great together.)
-also. uh. not to pile on the reesker but. ----- connor just got paged by latham. is-is it happening?
-refusing to go home and sleep because the person you care most about is lying in a hospital bed is such classic angst oh my god
-wtf? charles has meds i completely forgot? for his heart? when is he gonna get shot the suspense is killing me.
-ALSO. YOU ARE TELLING ME. THAT S3 SARAH HAD TO DEAL WITH PTSD AND A POSSIBLE PATIENT LAWSUIT. AT THE SAME TIME HER FATHER WAS BEING SUSPECTED OF MURDER, AT THE SAME TIME HE TRIED TO RECONNECT. it is a fucking crime that that is the season we have to rewatch. its a crime they abused her so much.
-waiting for charles to keel over and die like
-the worst thing is that like, he actually cares. he actually truly cares about sarah, he just did a lot of bad things. so sarah has to justify them all! and sarah had no idea how to feel because now she’s disillusioned again. please chill
-lmao stoll wow 
-oh. soft sweet boy noah. he really doesn’t know better, and that’s almost the worst thing.
-also. dr. shore. that’s really all i have to say about that.
-ohhhhh my god nat fucking chill
-what is it with couples on mad and not being allowed to be happy. (this could be about reesker if you, like, reallyyyy squint)
-aw! hey, look! it’s jay! he’s nice to look at too. ooh i also forgot how deep his voice was lol
-counting
- i honestly forgot what a good source of angst this show was. this guys parents are flying in from germany to go to his graduation and then he got hit by a car??? damn
- i still forget how much i like the cop/doctor brother duo. I love it.
-GUYSSS
-GUYSSS ITS HAPPENING
-the air literally left my lungs I am not ready.
-ITS FUCKING
-oh my god
-it is 3 am and I just screamed out loud holy shit
-I FORGOT I FUCKING FORGOT. IT DOESNT HAPPEN WITH HER IN CASUAL CLOTHES. THAT IS AT THE END. I FORGOT THEY INTERACT WITH HER IN SCRUBS
- I FORGOT I FUCKING FORGOT
--holy shit she is fucking stunning. she was just allowed to be like that? in her first introduction? while connor looks like complete shit? IMAGINE THE POWER SHE HAS HOLY SHIT. THIS IS THE GREATEST POWER MOVE IVE EVER SEEN.
-uh for those of you who are confused, ava bekker has entered the scene and holy. shit. is she fucking amazing. and she hasn’t even said a word yet. all she did was turn
-H E R P O W E R
-uhhuufhuahdoas back to the analysis - latham reiterated all of the points we just discussed in the premiere, only goes to show how this was planned, from the start.
- t h e p o w e r ava has to step on the scene and instantly fuck things up. I ASPIRE
-okay let me try again to move forward. (nope. i tried to go back to the tab and just. the expression on her face. guys. i cannot express the emotions. we will press on)
-deep breaths
-she’s so pretty oh my god
-I-uh- okay listen. it is really, really, really hard to analyze this because i have not watched an actual scene or actually heard her talk in her very very pretty accent in two years. I, uh, i need a minute.
-i honestly cannot recall a thing she just said. (i am literally in fucking love) (i’m gonna go back and rewatch the scene and see what I pick up)
-THE----the fucking way she puts her hand back in her pocket
-GOD IM FUCKING GAY
-as for analysis - god that cheeky little smile.
-she’s blunt. is what took me about 75 words to say. this is gonna be a nightmare. (if i torture myself and make myself watch s4 and s5 then I’ll be really sad) (at this point can you imagine what would’ve happened if i had watched her death? I’m remembering exactly how crushed I was)
-OH. YEAH. IN CASE YOU FORGOT? THAT GIRL? THE SNARKY ONE? ON SCREEN RIGHT NOW? SHE’S. FUCKING. DEAD. CANONICALLY SHES DEAD. HOLY FUCKING SHIT.
-like just that fact is sending me so hard. i am already so sad. I had like thirty seconds of elation. it’s not FUCKING FAIR
- i need another minute. AND SHE STILL HAS ANOTHER LINE.
-this doesn’t really pertain to the theory but the “loyal, that’s sweet” line has got to mean something. Like something to be said about how connor couldn’t commit to her in s4. (its just so fucking unfair that she’s dead but we really need to move on)
-this also means that ava isn’t entirely loyal? bc she’s looking down on connor for being loyal? I um really don’t have all the info to unpack All of that, but it should be noted.
-DID YOU CONNOR? DID YOU ENJOY WORKING TOGETHER???
-from ava stan perspective: @ connor you like made her life hell, which wasn’t your fault but still. uhh she’s the one that’s dead, you’re not, so obviously one of you enjoyed it a little more. let’s move on.
-i love her.
-haha oh man jack kelloggs back. FUCKING MERC HIS ASS (i don’t hate charles that much and this storyline gave me so much fucking anxiety throughout the ep)
-god jack kelloggs such an asshole
-OKAY BRUH ETHAN AND APRIL HAVE A THING THIS SEASON? jesus this show really moves
-there are a lot of things I could complain about.
-will: “Why’d she do that? Cut her hair. A woman makes a change like that, it’s a big deal.” S4 AVA WHAT DOES IT MEAN
-i can’t believe its the season finale and they have enough time for will to ask maggie why nat cut her hair. this show is the reason I have anxiety. charles is about to get shot and what are you doing
-oh. oh wow. noah and sarah bickering/noah flirting. it’s like, adorable. which i don’t think is really fair. just, sarah’s the best
-I- uh- can’t believe that was the first time I watched an ava scene in years? that was a really big step for me?? god wow.
-god remember how sarah just like, saved robin? yall remember that? REMEMBER WHEN SARAH COULD DO THINGS? there’s a reason i hated this show.
-okay but just like the fact that charles was - content with letting his daughter be holed up in a room for the foreseeable future? when sarah had a perfectly logical answer? who is he trying to undermine here? (and that is why i hate charles)
-sharon: “where’s the daniel who doesn’t give up? doesn’t your own daughter deserve that much?” kind of a reach but if charles really cares about sarah as much as he does, and sharon knows this, the double meaning here is almost impeccable.
-oh hey guys! ava’s back!
-okay this is like super nitpicky but at this point it feels like norma didn’t have the accent down packed and its a little exaggerated and awkward at times but, come on, still love her.
-Ava: “excuse me, you’re an emergency medicine resident, why are we even talking” AVA BEKKER REALLY TAKES NO SURVIVORS (the writers just really weren’t banking on the fans being that attracted to ava) (like i forgot how blunt she was and holy shit. wow. i kinda see where the haters were coming from. its amazing to see how we clawed her back tho [by we i mean the lesbians])
-analytical. That’s what ava is. It’s almost like that thing where people purposefully say something outlandish just to gauge people’s reaction. she doesn’t argue with connor, at least not now. she just looks between him and ethan, sees she’s outnumbered, and walks off. She doesn’t know how the place works yet. she’s testing the waters. - this could be why she slowly gets more and more confrontational as the series progresses. she sees that no matter what, everyone will be on connor’s side. she doesn’t fight a losing battle. but when you’re constantly losing, its frustration. (reminder, these things only hold true in s3. s4 doesn’t exist)
-I’m fucking?? where the hell did jeff go?
-also, oh, this is maggie’s storyline. the guy dies right but he wanted to propose to the girl? wait no that doesn’t seem right...
-yooo its the girl in the gorilla costume. certified iconic. also how the hell did they have enough time for all this crap in the finale. this show fucking moves.
-for like a split second i forgot that noah and april were siblings
-noah’s a sweetie
-oh hey look it’s ava
-knock knock. who’s there? oh boy, point one for ava stans, she’s right about the surgery (potential evidence showing how this is the first scene of connor not being shit/actually being out or equally matched)
-OKAY WOW SARAH GO OFF (she’’s just fantastic i mean look at her. she’s adorable)
-ava: “Why do all the residents in this hospital think they can offer their opinions?” DR BEKKER PLEASE (okay but like i said last ep i had the exact same question. go off ava)
-connor just took control of the case (first instance of ava outright saying ‘i disagree’) (and let me guess, he’s gonna be right in the end because he literally fucking always is)
-if you look at it from a different perspective, ava was necessary. they needed someone to put connor in his place. at least, she tried. (very disappointing that she also had to sleep with him but that’s not the current point) if they wanted to fix his problem of coming off as spoiled, ava gave him a force to fight against, to earn his stars. they could’ve done it better, and actually had him lose a few times. because what does constantly letting connor win do? it undermines ava, it also undermines his attending. his attending who he is constantly having to stick up for. dude. hero complex chill. ava never had a hero complex. which cannot be said for a lot of the people on the show (IF YOU EVEN TRY TO ARGUE THIS POINT IS WRONG I POINT YOU TO THE EPISODE WHERE AVA PUSHED THE CREDIT FOR THE SURGERY ONTO CONNOR WHEN A FAMILY MEMBER WAS HUGGING HER) they did it wrong. they tried to, idk, fix connor by giving him humility, but they kind of completely forgot the humility part. and the part where he learns things. HE EVEN HAS TO STAND UP FOR AVA TO HER OWN MENTOR. LITERALLY? DUDE? FUCKING. CHILL.
-okay but that’s what it is though. ava was always meant to be the villain. because she was always a counter for connor. and connor is the hero. (you may be thinking this goes against my theory because I’m fighting for ava rights, but my actual theory is that ava was never supposed to stay past s3. the only reason she stayed was because she became a fan favorite. she was supposed to take connor’s mayo clinic offer. and you know how it probably would have happened? Connor probably would have gave her the offer. letting him be the hero one last time. [of course, this isn’t what happened. we all know.])
-OKAY FUCK THIS RESIDENT? “good call, Dr. Rhodes” SHUT THE FUCK UP??? (resident speaking rights revoked)
-I have nothing for this but just want to point out how she looks around and says “yes” all contemplative. god if i could just think about what she was thinking
-jack bro stop
-okay. was there ever an active shooter in the hospital when ava was around. bc if there was. i legally need to know
-lmao stoll
-sarah... makes me smile.
-fun fact: we are at about the half way mark. I am so sorry.
-no no no nono. so, robin just got diagnosed and is getting prepped for surgery. Sarah. don’t give charles credit for solving it. stop.
-Hey! yall remember how the best characters on the show only got thirty seconds of onscreen time together? yeah! I’m still mad about it too!
-aww connor being worried. (i think im fine with connor as long as like, ava is no where near. this scene is just very pure)
-when is this guy gonna get shot already
-aww he loves her. i want to kill him. (why? playboy. gets feelings way too quick. stop him. keep him away from ava)
-HAHAHAH okay. robin just got put into surgery and latham and ava are performing it (is it a brain surgery? yes. are they ct surgeons? yes. don’t ask questions) BUT you can see this emotion on ava’s face. she feels sorry for him. it’s up for us to decide if its condescending or she just feels bad for or bc she is on a surgery he wanted, but for the sake of opinion, i’m inclined to say she just felt bad for him (cough empathy cough)
-literally everytime charles is on screen im like when is he gonna get shot
-this scene where both connor and charles admit they were wrong is very nice (hey actually look, connor does have humility! not in front of ava tho so hmm) (sexual tens- literally no, shut the fuck up)
-HAHA HOLY SHIT I FORGOT CONNORS MOM KILLED HERSELF?? HOLY SHIT? THIS FUCKING GUY LITERALLY CANT CATCH A BREAK (maybe take a hint bro? and go far far away? well he did. too little too late ig)
-connor: “i obviously couldn’t save my mom, but I sure as hell didn’t try to save robin” *through cupped hands* HEY! HEY CONNOR! D-DID YOU TRY? WITH AVA? DID YOU TRY? okay literally what is it with this guy and people dying. for such a good surgeon... oh yeah, irony.
-hi sarah! how nice of you to check in with connor and charles about robin!
-sarah: *looks between charles and connor, who have probably agreed on something for the first time since connor got with robin* “everything okay?” literally she’s so sweet my heart.
- sarah: *laughs in disbelief* SARAH STOP MY HEART IS ALREADY FULL
-this man needs to button the top button of his shirt, i do not like that i can see it
-I------ HOLY SHIT?
-WHY DID NO ONE FUCKING WARN ME THAT JOEY WAS STILL ON THE SHOW???
-FUCKING EXCUSE ME???
- the air left lungs on that one again, i was Not expecting that.
-HOLD THE FUCK ON. I JUST WENT OF HIS WIKI AND HE APPEARS IN S4??? FUCKING WHAT??? SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT HE FUCKING DID AND IF IT WAS IMPORTANT
-sarah reese is such a fucking dork she got her boyfriend a rubik’s cube as a gift?? a guy who is so nerdy that he definetly already has like five of them. hmm. things don’t add up. also he’s nerdy enough to give back a gift at the breakup. dude seriously. get some social cues. in like the bargin bin at goodwill. please.
-IF SARAH FUCKING CRIES I SWEAR TO GOD
-oh yeah she’s pregnant. that’s how the story ends.
-okay. natalie comes off as empathetic but like, in the most condescending way.
-like its fucking obvious she’s only ever caring about herself (ava bekker would never. sarah reese would never. get your head out of your ass) (ok wow that aggression came from nowhere lmao)
- i really wanna say something about - Connor: “We all know that love can hurt, but loneliness? that’ll kill you.” have fun with that fic writers. (insert obvious connection to loneliness killing ava? have we had enough? this doesn’t pertain to the theory)
-jesus will at this point stop hesitating at the ‘if we’re wrong, it could kill him’ stage. we all know you don’t care
-how funny would it be if the family just like, disowned that girl
-this will nat and co. love triangle is already so fucking exhausting
-JAY REALLY SAID WILL I AM TAKING NONE OF YOUR BS
-is he really about to break up with her. right now. i swear to fucking god
-this is so fucking stupid (what i would pay for ava to hand him his ass right here right now) (that’s a hc idea right there)
-FUCKING LEAVE ALREADY WILLIAM
-sarah and noah stay adorable
-aww stolllll, my heart
-lmao i forgot the girl who played robin was on once upon a time and i was like ‘ive seen her recently what was it’
-FINALLY HES GONNA FUCKING GET SHOT! HELL YES!
-charles looks high as balls
-the queen returns. she’s back
-IM GONNA FUCKING JUMP OFF A CLIFF
-okay. from the previous ep i mentioned ava’s line being something like ‘you’re quite the gossip magnet, your mother commited suicide, drove your girlfriend crazy, and you murdered your attending.” right?  we all remember that?
-well lads, do we remember connor’s response?
-connor: “...Well you’d better watch yourself, hadn’t you?”
-...
- I-
-hahahah this is not okay.
-AND GOD. JUST THE WAY AVA TAKES IT AND JUST SMILES, ACCEPTING THE CHALLENGE. holy shit. this fucking breaks my heart.
-i like almost can’t even appreciate the easy ending of noah’s grad party.
-oh yeah charles still hasn’t gotten shot.
-god sarah is still adorable. the way she finally relaxes FOR ONCE and lets herself have fun. fun fact: this may be the last time we see sarah just easily enjoying herself. also maybe the first.
- i am officially starting the save ava campaign, anyone who wants to join can. the goal is pretty simple. save ava. save our hearts.
-oh my god is he finally going to get shot?? like what dude come on
Okay. another episode down, the first full one, and what have we learned?
Well, this was Ava’s first episode and we learned how it seems she was doomed from the start. It makes no sense, even just her writing is disconnected from s2 to s3, like how do they do that? This ava lines up so well with s4 ava it’s almost uncanny. if you completely cut out s3 her character arc would make complete sense, in a frighteningly tidy way.
Like I said at the top, the fact that Ava was referenced in the episode description of the season finale is huge. It means she is a big character, ground shaking, almost. I really don’t know why they had to make this introduction at the end of s2 and not the beginning of s3, other than making it fit with the three month time jump that i’m pretty sure starts the season.
The way I see it, Ava had 4 main interactions/points. 1) She called connor loyal (and was blunt about Latham) 2) She remarks that residents shouldn’t have speaking rights (that one’s just funny) and disagrees with connor on the surgery, which they go with connor’s decision because of course they do. granted they switch to her plan midway through) 3) connor takes over her surgery after they disagree on whether or not the patient can be saved. Connor is right. and 4) we have the final ‘I like dangerous men’ interaction.
Let’s focus on the train of Ava vs. Connor disagreements. If we go by my previous statement which was Ava was designed as the villain to Connor’s hero, so the hero could win the favor of the public by defeating the villain, the trajectory of their interactions is not surprising in the slightest.
First, Connor wins the first point bc they initial go with his plan. Then, mid surgery, they have to switch to Ava’s plan, because she was right. This obviously pisses him off, that he was wrong and she was right.  His crown had been knocked askew. But then, he wrestles it back. They disagree on whether or not the patient can be saved, connor takes complete control, and he actually ends up saving him.
It’s interesting that the final disagreement came at the sake of a patient’s life. Ava was quick to dismiss the heart as gone, but Connor fought for it, being the hero. It’s easy to shut Ava down right then and there, call her heartless and call it a day.
if s4 had come immedietely (i have no clue how to spell that) after, it would be completely in character for ava to be a psychopath from what little we’ve seen. And honestly, no one would care. The villain would get her due justice.
Let’s switch gears to the conspiracy theory, or the redemption arc. whichever sounds cooler.
A hero is only as good as their villain. That’s really my argument. At this point, yeah, s4 seems like it was planned, just based on s2.
Okay, so, what? Is that another layer of the theory that I’m adding? that the connor/ava plot of s4 was ACTUALLY supposed to be in s3? I... no. we’ve established that is is very rare for the med writers to plan storylines that far ahead. so what am I saying?
I think that the s4 plot was actually a scrapped plot potentially to be used in s3. and when they were left floundering at the end of s3 for an answer? they retreated. sacrificing character development in the process.
So what the hell happened in s3? A horrible fluke? why was it so different?
in s3 ava became more of a rival and less of a villain. while those words can have very similar meanings, the bulk of it is that neither of them really wanted to be that mean each other, they never went out of their way to stomp on the other (at least that I’m aware of). they just were always forced to work together, naturally leading to friction.
This shift meant all the difference. Connor no longer had to beat Ava. it wasn’t required. as a result, ava was very very slowly allowed to interact with people other than connor. she was allowed to slightly develop.
Why the shift? well, the conspiracy theory suggests it’s because they wanted someone who could follow up connor if he left at the end. IF they were true rivals, each of them should be able to hold their own without each other.
okay yeah, i managed to get like 4k words out of like 5 minutes a screen time and 8 lines. jesus christ.still didnt do my hw tho
next we watch the premiere of s3 and see what happens. thanks for reading
-
read the next parts:
Part 1 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra
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victor-v · 5 years
Text
so yesterday i finished all for the game for the second time in my life (weird thing i've never read a book or series twice) and it wrecked me for the second time. it was unexpectedly nice that i actually understood everything with so much clarity, but that makes sense i've got lot of practice in reading english since then. also, i wrote my thoughts on the book this time.
i can't understand how a book can have such an impact on me, i hate that and i love it, everything else that crossed my mind is under the cut
★huh andrew really bullied aaron into dressing identical to mess up with neil
★"i don't swing either way" is the phrase that made me feel more valid that the whole queer community ever
★neil is pure nihilism
★how can i EVER forget neil wore a tight long sleeved TORN tshirt that andrew bought this is way too much
★seth is dead and all kevin can think about is the line up tbh i do that often
★they are making a scandal about how they sit
★kevin telling neil "destroy him" filled me with power
★the most unreal part is neil ALWAYS keeping his roots another colour the guy must dye his hair every fucking week
★how did neil buy andrew's promise to protect him from the japanese mafia's professional murderers when the only people he physically bullies is an obsessive young adult with anxiety, a princess in high heels and his sunshine sister in law
★wait a fucking minute andrew saw neil filled with terror while holding the phone and immediately gave him the car keys so he could be alone fuck
★nicky fucking hemmick attended to improv class
★ according to dan few athletes were crude enough to start trouble at an ERC event, you mean as crude as neil?
★how to take care of your teammate while he's in a crisis according to: andrew→show concern and reassure him. wymack→10 seconds of vodka
★"hey, jean. jean valjean" is peak comedy
★the ravens walking in v formation is genuinely the most cringy thing you can think of
★neil first finds out the only possible person to date him is andrew because he was jealous of renee are you kidding me
★andrew only missed 13 from 150 shots on goal for fucking real what a Man
★renee is an angel, she's specifically andrew's angel
★neil truly is a watcher
★bee wearing a bee costume is the only good thing on this world
★dan and matt dressed like greek gods!!!!! they can adopt me already
★can you believe nicky is the one who got into neil's brain and planted the idea of realying on someone, and since then neil actively pursues an investigation on andrew's relationship status how on god's name i missed that HOW he's not even subtle about it damn
★he first worries about renee now about kevin goddamn it josten how can't you se how much you care about him
★it's funny how sexuality is such a heavy topic between them when they sure as fuck have some pretty huge stuff going on you know like dying in the hands of the mafia or being tortured
★i imagine andrew running to renee all bonkers like "listen if the cute guy asks, for fucks sake tell him i'm gay but make it ~casual~ maybe this way he'll get it"
★the sole mention of thanksgiving dinner makes me want to die
★kevin is checking the scores in a newspaper I forget this book is so 00's
★they should have spent the day eating turkey and frozen pie at abby's fuckkkkkkkk
★are you kidding me they are in the middle of a conversation and andrew casually chokes neil a little but it's ok they carry on wtf
★"we are all going to regret this" is the fucking worse piece of foreshadowing in this book
★neil interrogating andrew the same night he was raped what kind of fucking piece of shit does that
★i can't fucking believe neil went ahead and shoved andrew's hand under his tshirt in front of kevin, wymack, betsy and two fucking lawyers are you kidding me
★neil asking "are we? friends?" to nicky is so relatable because i also would have an aneurysm if someone told me i am their friend
★someone else tries to flirt with him and he immediately considers andrew how i was too ace to see it the first time i read
★jesus fucking christ riko is one truly fucked up sociopath and neil is the bravest motherfucker on the land
★how can he face riko like that in the nest and be extremely pure in other occasion
★"are we watching the ball drop? i want to make a wish" he wants to make a wish and i want to die thanks
★i can't believe the whole if it means losing you then no and side effect of the drugs shit it's unreal fucking unreal how oblivious neil is too ace to realize anything SOMEONE JUST CALLED YOU "DREAM" THE LEVEL OF ROMANTICISM
★the amount of heavy staring in this trilogy is ridiculous and all i can think about is twilight
★these books made me see how far from the 00s we are, for many reasons, but mostly for some jokes that can't let slide; like calling neil a battered wife, domestic misogynistic violence is not a joke
★i can't believe from all people, wymack was the first one to get andrew was into neil
★"that doesn't mean I wouldn't blow you" is such a funny phrase to be said casually why is it
★"you are a racoon, not a fox" oh andrew
★it only took andrew admitting he had a crush for neil to be all sentimental and shit, and that disarmed andrew too
★they are like some kind of animal that while you think they are fighting, they are actually mating, that's exactly what nora meant with feral
★half of last book is neil mooning over andrew jfc
★nicky made neil smile while distracting him from riko im gonna throw myself off a cliff
★i can't quite believe neil goes through a detailed monologue about andrews memory the man is impressed and borderline turned on about every talent on his crushe's shelf
★i literally can't follow and will never understand the quarrel/promise/agreement between aaron and andrew what a bunch of pretentious idiots
★every time neil's phone buzzes all i fear is the fucking countdown
★i thought "i want to see you lose control" was a collective fever dream i can't believe it's written on the books
★if i was nicky i already have told andrew to stop his freaky pretentious shit towards me
★neil to the upperclassman: ha ha fellas is it gay to unthinkingly call andrew in the middle of a anxiety breakdown
★"you gave me a key and called it home" is as soft as heartbreaking i want to jump off a cliff
★"i won't be like them, i wont let you let me be" is actually pushing me off that cliff andrews feelings are a fucking storm
★neil was kidnapped and tortured the day of my bday and that's not a coincidence
★neil's talent to twist the truth in order to convince andrew of anything is outstanding
★excuse me they have no right to be this soft i hate them
★they miss so many opportunities to be funny about the whole "protection" thing
★did he really had a mental breakdown over where to fucking sit on the bus lmao
★"don't come crying to me when someone breaks your face" is the second most awful piece of foreshadowing
★lets be honest for a second andrew should be a fucking writer because all those things he says? edgy myspace pretentious poetry
★im sorry but i don't care about literally anything except neil smiling onto andrew's neck bye
★andrew ghosted a kiss across neil's hip im dead for real
★abby kissed neil's forehead farewell after cleaning all his injuries i have no words he's recieving all the affection he deserves
★cant believe you don't see aaron is fucking worried neil is taking advantage of andrew
★i mean yeah ok don't talk love but neil is sad that nicky thinks it was only hate sex, and he immediately acknowledged it meant more than that to him bc his demi btw wtf does hate sex mean i can't believe you hate someone so much you wanna suck his dick
★they all went horseback riding when will i have a group of friends like that
★"who's humanising who in that relationship" i know right nicky
★kevin locking himself to have a panic attack is the most relatable thing
★the car encounter with ichirou holds the same tension as a mr robot scene
★the proposal of playing olympics and being unstoppable feels like marriage or smth
★neil is literally having his hot girl summer
★i adore neil's overflow of emotions after swallowing everything for so many years. represented, thanks.
★andrew terrorising katelyn who the fuck does he think he is what an annoying asshole
★"did you know i've never been skiing" is the most epic line
★i cheer to the sole mention of laila
★alvares can deck me right now and i would say thank you
★"war is profitable" aaron knows what's up
★sometimes i want to slap them is2g
★that scene at eden's where they are all discussing how roland found out and aaron ends up being the only straight one lmao boy it's your punishment for being so homophobic
★the whole "deadliest piece on the board" spech is 100 times better when you consider kevin was wasted and overly exaggerating every word and gesture
★can you imagine those few fans supporting kevin's new tattoo screaming YAAAAASSSSS QUEEEEEEEEEN while snapping fingers i'm cackling
★matt in court body slamming into anyone that's been a problem to the foxes: VIBE CHECK MOTHERFUCKER
★neil kissed andrew in castle fucking evermore the audacity i adore him
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seriesrants · 7 years
Text
PLL 7x19
Ok so this episode gave us charlottes murderer, aria being allowed back into the squad, mona going full circle back to crazy, several arrests and a false confession. Sick.
So it’s starts with Aria, after finding dunhill in her boot and she is getting pulled over by a cop. She gets out of it when the cop gets distracted. But for some reason the guilt builds up inside of her and she decides to call it quits and confess to the murder. Sweet.
Caleb is all “mona is fucking A.D” and Ezra is all “yeah fuck you guys. You can’t just dump aria like that. Your all pretty terrible fucking people. Get over it” and they rest of the group is all “yeah fuck”
Ezra stops arias confession and she’s all “yeah but I got a dead guy in my car” Ezra isn’t even fazed and he’s all “I’ve got a lit degree I have the answer to everything” but before they can do anything the body is already gone. Obviously, this is PLL.
Spencer finds another note from Mary and finds her at the lost woods resort. Mary is all “im giving this to you and Ali cause your totally fucked now and your gonna need money to pay for lawyers. Lmao”
Mona finds that the game is gone and follows a note telling her to meet at a diner. Caleb, Hannah and spencer all follow her to the diner and then Caleb is all “yo wtf mona” and mona is all “there is someone else always following me. They keep stealing the damn game” then she fucks of through the bathroom window after receiving a note from A telling her to haul ass outta there.
Whilst trying to find mona, Caleb reveals to spencer that he is married to Hannah and he’s all “sorry lmao” and spencer is all “yeah don’t be though. Like I’m fine. It was chill getting to bone you but now I got Toby back it’s all g”
Meanwhile in a car ride to meet up with the rest of the gang Ali is all “sorry aria. We acted like high schoolers it wasn’t cool” and aria is all “nah it’s chill”. Cool Ali fucking ran away for 4 years and made everyone think she was dead. Ali can literally never judge
Hannah fucks of back to rosewood. She notices petals falling from the church and chooses to investigate. Amazing idea. She finds mona all old school calling Hannah charlotte. Spencer is all “wtf happened” and mona is all “cece was fucking crazy the whole time. She was a total bitch and wanted to torture you all again. we got into a fight and I pushed her onto a metal piece sticking from the wall. Lmao. Whoops” Ok so mona killed cece. But like, do I even care anymore?
Mona totally tries to kill Hannah tho (thinking she was cece) and the girls are all “she’s not ok. We can’t turn her in. She needs help. they send her to a pysch”
Because mona confessed, the rest of the gang get the last puzzle piece. They put it on the game. Which is now mysteriously in Ali’s house. It reveals eyes. Cool.
The game then tells them to dig up dunhills body at Ali’s aunts house. Why the fuck is there another damn dilaurentis fam member?
They all rush to dig up his grave but then aria is all “why the fuck are we even doing this. Let’s just ducking leave him. Legit like what do we get from this” and then the girls are like “yo shit. That actually makes sense”
Wow if only they thought of that like 10 years ago. It’s to late though cause the police show up and tanner is all “lmao I fucking told you I’d get you”.
The girls are totally fucked but then Mary is all “nah I did it, I killed Jessica and dunhill, lmao” And the girls are all “fucking sick, another crime dodged”
But tanner is all “I know she didn’t kill dunhill you bitches” spencer tears up a bit watching Mary get hauled away.
The game is all congrats (cause mona admitted to killing cece) and shuts off. The girls are all “sick, now that’s over, the fuck do we do?” The episode ends with A.D driving into the sunset. Wtf. Why is this even a thing? 
Anyways only one more episode to go. Fuck yeah! 
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^^^^The girls when Mary confessed and they got to walk free
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^^^ tanner congratulating the fact that Mary’s bullshit confession lets the girls walk free, and she has to accept defeat once again 
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sigurdjarlson · 7 years
Text
replies replies replies
thesseli said: His lips are gorgeous.
they really are though. oh lord they are..
demonhedgehog1 said: the pic quality makes the white floof look like a cryptid
CRYPTID SPOTTED
*mulder voice* SCuLLY YOURE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS
shadowphoenixrider said: I think he’ll live until Argus. Then we need be REALLY worried. (I know Velen’s gonna do something stupid because I’ve heard Khadgar go ‘VELEN WTF DUDE’ in the previous VO set.
fkdhdkfh I wouldnt be surprised after the whole “haha u killed ur own son” trick KJ pulled. i highly doubt he’s over that
dreamsaboutsky said: I hope they won’t. He is the only treasure
I will never forgive them if they take him from me boudiccandestruction said: khadgar is the best though he can’t die
RIGHT
skullkind said: lets all pray for the boy
prayer circle for khadgar everyone gather round
shadowphoenixrider said: But the dude’s already grey, how…??
his entire body just turns grey
skullkind said: we love you too <3
<33333 
ghoulghoulneighbor said: A cohesive timeline? In MY blizzard franchise? Too unrealistic, bullshit it with the rest of us.
fkhkdfh I pretty much am x)
shadowphoenixrider said: You want to know what’s really annoying? MONKS. Especially BC race monks. Which expansion do you use?
...that’s a really good question omg. damn it blizz
protectoralyndrah said: Just sign up for groups anyways. I was an 894 Healer and getting invited to groups regardless. Or look for guilds who need extras.
everybody wants them healers tho. im just a humble hunter </3
casterlycosplay said: Pugging for heroic gul'dan is a niiiightmaaaare and I want to die.
its pure torture
shadowphoenixrider said: I'mma take the Archmage, and I’m gonna hide him so Blizzard can’t find and hurt him. That’ll show ‘em.
protect the khadgar. love the khadgar..
slagnarok said: This is honestly the worst thing I’ve ever heard in my life and I love it.
medivh gotta feed his young trust *puking sounds*
shalar0s said: Swear to god, their relationship is my favourite in the whole show.
daryl and carol are the light of my life <3
eversongs said: Pleeeeease honestly I keep getting super sad over this. I’m not ready. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready. I’m going to be 75 sitting on a rocking chair muttering sadly under my breath about this poor cinnamon roll and my grandkids are gonna stoP VISITING ME BECAUSE GRANDMA IS WEIRD AND WONT STOP CRYING
SAME THOUGH? “WHO’S KHADGAR, GRANDMA. WHO IS HE” and im just sobbing
shadowphoenixrider said: I just did the WQ where he makes the imp puns and the thought I’d never heard his ridiculous jokes just…they’re gonna hurt our boy…
NONONONONo
unidentified-starman said: “As the prophecy foretold: only true love’s kiss can make Badgar Radgar (or Dadgar) again.”
send this to blizzard and tell them to make raventrust canon
anzareveange said: go to old dungeons with an alt, send all the gear to your enchanter, get lots of materials. o w o thats what i do.
anzareveange said: or find someone to give you carry to old dungeons.
thats actually what I’ve been doing :D
ghoulghoulneighbor said: level one tailor making level 100 gear 
excuse u ladelia is a level 54 mage making level 70 gear 
unidentified-starman said: me @ Blizzard : *ellen ripley voice* Get away from him you bitch
we should all fight blizzard
shadowphoenixrider said: My heart sank as soon as I saw those words, because that is EXACTLY what happened with Arluin in Suramar too! THEY TOOK VOL'JIN AND NOW KHADGAR?! FUCK. FUCK!
SCREAMS
eversongs said: Join @highpriestessbriyanna​ and I’s pledge to send Blizz a vial of our tears every single day for the rest of our heartbroken lives as punishment for taking Khady away from us.
I will drown them in my tears
highpriestessbriyanna said: So he went to Karazhan AFTER the duel? …. There might still be hope but… I’m just… I’m going to take it as read that Khadgar’s going to die. If I do that and he doesn’t, it will be better.
i believe so but i still think its a good possibility. if he’s desperate enough I can see him doing it 
“he will do anything.” 
aqu1lamarin said: The audio drama is before the animated short harbingers. There is was shown Khadgar won’t go to the legion
I hope not!
kouseki said: Wonder Woman was SO GOOD ( certain things could have been better but otherwise…) GOTG was also really good!! Run run run to them!!
Ahhhhh I want to, man but i don’t have anyone to go with </3
shadowphoenixrider said: The Kurken! Draggka has him too!
R E L E A S E      T H E        K U R K E N
lovesdaryl said: God, the number of times I’ve been asked if I am really a female player … *rolls eyes* “I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAVE TRULY FOUND A FEMALE GAMER!!111!!”
I know right? 
its like..you never see them because the others ran away screaming before you could notice
anzareveange said: I do not like Sylvanas and of course I would love her to be the final boss of the expansion (so I could definitely kill her). But at this moment Jaina seems to me more directed to the evil, in spite of the selfish decisions of sylvanas, Jaina hates everything and everyone that oppose to her and very probably at the moment she is preparing something very bad.
kgfdkh SAME. I’d definitely be down with Sylvanas being the final boss.
jaina will break my heart but i think it’s more likely than not
highpriestessbriyanna said: …. ………… *shoves fic idea document under the rug*
I SEE THAT FIC IDEA
highpriestessbriyanna said: This is what I dread about getting Ballgar…
he constantly phases into her chest and its like...chill khadgar
highpriestessbriyanna said: Both. They’d crash into each other and argue over who gets to save him while Khadgar dies.
it’’s funny because its TRue
anzareveange said: lothar, because medivh sure cast a spells and send the bad guy out of the realm.
medivh would probably collapse in the middle of casting a spell askgdh. he tends to do that
shadowphoenixrider said: Medivh. I think there’s a term from Quake, what was it…‘tele-fragging’? That but with a Blink.
OH MY GOD.. 
KHADGAR PISSES HIMSELF
midnightfuckingmayor said: def medivh
No one hurts his young trust
shadowphoenixrider said: Smol chubby mage with tol kickass hunter. A++++
ahhhhhhh <333333 
shadowphoenixrider said: Did he run out of mops?
.....yes. Moroes is very creative
highpriestessbriyanna said: That description made NO sense to me. I love Christie dearly, but .. um. I was like “bluh?”
someone paste wings over khadgar’s brows
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not4eating · 4 years
Text
Unfiltered and unedited. Rabid thought produced while thinking about an essay prompt.
should be something of interest to you and something that speaks to your values, ideas, and relationship with your larger social world.
Possible topics for writing project 3
What makes it debatable? What are various directions you could take this topic? Which one are you planning on choosing and why?
God damn, I don’t know. What are the things that are important to me? Fucking fuck this shit. I can’t think about this kind of stuff right now. I’m already stressed enough. My work life balance is so fucking off. As it stands I don’t like any of the stuff that I’m learning about. I’m stressed all the time. I’m working harder than I ever have and I have the worst grades that I have ever received. Wtf. I got a b in my last humanities class and I didn’t even do half of the assigned material. That balance  is incredibly skewed. Like what’s wrong with college. What the fuck is wrong with it. How does something like that happen. Where a student can put in literally no effort one semester and receive straight a’s and then the next semester they try even harder and then can barely pass their class. That actually reminds me. I need to cite socrates for my most recent assignment in Humanities 01. Her class is the one that I’m complaining about here. It’s too difficult. I feel like I’m cracking because of it. I mean. I can lie in that class. If I lied I would probably get a better grade. None of these teachers actually read what you write. They don’t actually care. So if I wanted to I could just bullshit everything. As a matter of fact I think all of school is bullshit. I also think that we should be paid to go to school so we don’t have to fucking work full time just to support ourselves while we have another full time career. Like, at least pay people up until their associates. Ive been going to school for seven years. That’s an insane amount of time to have suffered through academia. I wouldn’t mind if it was only academia that I had to deal with, but the fact of the matter is that academia is the part of my life that I actually enjoy. In order to support myself through college I have to work a job that is mentally draining and I have to do it for fifty hours a week and even then I barely make enough to survive. So what is the solution? Free housing for full time students and a free cafeteria for full time students that serves decent meals that you request the day before. If you don’t request a meal then they don’t make a meal for you. If you want to work while you go to school then you can. But all students must maintain at least a c average in order to remain in the program. If a student falls below a c average one semester then they are put on mandatory academic counseling in order to maintain their access to free housing and food. What happens to students when they lose their access? That’s a good question. Im not sure right now. Punishing them would be counter intuitive. The goal is to create an environment where everyone feels welcome and motivated to succeed.
My whole point is that I don’t have enough time. I can’t find enough time to do all of the things that I need to do. I feel unproductive. But at the same time I need to sleep. I have only been getting about four hours of sleep a night on average. I finish work. I make dinner and clean up and then I get to work on my homework. My whole body shakes all of the time. I get light headed, sometimes I lose hours of my day to nothing. My mind literally blacks out. Would my day be better if slept? Do I still have those multi hour long unproductive spells? Yes I do, want when I sleep. I just lose focus every now and then. Have I tried Adderall? I absolutely have. It helps for certain things. However, at the end of the day, its far less effective than everyone says it is. I’ve worked my way up from 5mg to 40 mg and even then its like “yo, this stuff doesn’t really do what it says its supposed to. Even at sixty mg instant its about as effective as a cup of coffee. The only thing that seems to be able to get me out of my head long enough to be productive is alcohol, which is so bad. I spent all of last semester drunk. I got incredible grades. I had more than enough time on my hands to spend with my spouse, which I can’t say for this semester. The only issue with this is that I was fucking drunk all the time. I gained 40 pounds and spent my work day on the verge of vomiting. I got in a car accident because I was so tired that I could barely keep my eyes open. I am literally killing myself. I am literally killing myself. I am literally killing myself. The structured lifestyle is torture. Day in and day out, the same thing over and over again. I’m worried that when I start estimating its going to be the same thing. Ill be fine for a few months, and then at the eight month mark ill hate my job. I need to be free. I need to be able to write and talk and interact with he people of their world. I need to write, and I need to write about what I want. Is this form of writing any different than writing by hand, I don’t think so? Maybe? Ts fine and all writing on a keyboard. It’s been at least a decade since people have been writing this way almost exclusively. They question is have novels gotta better or have they gotten worse. I can only say that I am almost incapable of reading anything modern. Especially works that may or may not become literary classics. I also can’t read as fast as some people. I wonder how they read all of the books that they read. I think that after I get my bachelors I’m going to focus all of my free time reading new literature. A novel a day would be a good goal. Why should a three hundred page book be difficult to read in a few hours? I recently read a 200page book in a day and had a great time of it. I even took copies nots with is unusual for me. I was ony able to do that because it was a part of the curriculum. If it wasn’t a part of that I wouldn’t have read it and I wouldn’t have been able to even have the time to read it
What really gets me is the academic research paper. Why do we have to do research on random ass Tomic and write papers about it. They always say that you can write about whatever you want to talk about, but when I write about something truly world changing like I did about big data all the back in fucking 2007 when nobody even cared how the teacher tell me that it was in irrelevant topic that was too broad. I mean its not a broad topic alt all. Data collection and the issue that occurs when it is collected. Ie the stealing and unregulated sharing of data is complete bullshit. Nobody cared then, it was n issue that fucking mattered then and it fucking matters now. Big data is so important. What you search, what you read, what you are interested in is your own person. It is who you are. That is what makes it so incredibly valuable. When we live on the internet we think in the internet. Everyone that uses the internet shares there deepest thoughts to google and reddit. Even those that don’t are texting it or keeping it in their notes apps. Its like if someone had access to your diary, your personal conversations, and your alarm clocks, because even alarm clocks are digital now. They have access to this information, and they use it against you. They even know what you watch, and how much you pay attention to what you’re watching because they know when you’re on your phone scrolling through facebook. And this sounds crazy. It would have been crazy 50 years ago. But today it is not crazy. People are watching you all the time. They pay attention to the conversations that you have in front of smart speakers, they watch you on security cameral. They check your GPS data at all times. They read your emails, they look at your nots, they check your interests and disinterests. They know that you slow down when you see s=certain things and they know that you speed up after certain things. It sounds stupid. It sounds ridiculous, but all you have to do is look at the power at your fingertips as you read this very article. Look no further than your damn phone. You fool. If you think anything is private, just know that everything you do is being watched and recorded. Not by people of course. But by computers. Computers who are profiling you. Learning how to manipulate you specifically. What keywords turn you on. What keywords piss you off. All they have to do is out the right thing in front of you and you will either buy what you’re seeing or at the very least recognize it. That’s where this whole thing gets so fucked up. Advertisers, politicians, random Russians, random Chinese people, random anyone with enough resources to make you do a thing. All they have to do is know what catches your attention and then right before or after that they show you the thing that they want you to see because even if you’re only looking at the dog, nike is at the top of the page and even though you're not fucking looking at that shit, you like running, and you like dogs so all they have to do is put that shit in front of you enough times and suddenly the nike swoosh is one of your favorite things in the world. You have familiarized yourself with it. It is now safe says your lizard brain and suddenly it's only of a few dozen things that you like to see. I can guarantee you that if I showed you something that you didn’t understand. Just a random mark. You wouldn’t look twice at it. You might even associate it with something cheap in comparison to nike. This is regardless of the actual range in quality. You would still buy a thing form nike that was produced for half the price but sold to you for double the price than you would the other thing. No matter how smart or how critical you are there are basic human instincts and those instincts can’t be denied.
Can you even fucking change this thing. Is it established in childhood. I have a cat who is skittish as hell. I love cats, I would never hurt one but still she loves me but is afraid as hell of Perone else. I raised her, I adopted her when she was only thee months old and yet she behaves the way that she doe. Was this behavior bred into her or is she skittish because she had observed me being uneasy in front of strangers and therefore learned this behavior. I don’t fucking know man, but its the exact way that internet marketing, marketing in general really. Its how it works. You are more likely to eat at a McDonalds than you are a regional fast food chain when you’re driving through a town. Your more likely to stay at a marmot than you are a Hilton if you were raised in a town that had a marmot and didn’t have a Hilton. You’re more familiar to marmot because its what you’ve seen. Its what you know. It was the nicest hotel in your town  that has other hotels across the world. Even if you associate it with a shitty crowd, you know that its still a good enough place to sleep for a not unreasonable sum of money. Human instinct. If you know a place is safe you know you can sleep there without being completely uncomfortable. Its the same thing with internet marketing. If it doesn’t apply to you think about cable. Think about the groceries you buy from a person behind a counter. Think about the places you use your bank cars which goes through a computer and knows where you are and what you’re buying. You’re shits not private. It never will be as long as the internet exists and continues to improve. The rise of the machines isn’t brought about by a machine that kills you directly. rough about by a computer that divides us against perfectly fine people until we eventually kill each other via nuclear winter. The more we allow the world to be determined by the people that write algorithms that feed us content and places to go the more likely we are to fall prey to an algorithm built with malicious intent. This is because most people don’t know how to read code and the ones that do most of them can’t read or write code at the level of the one percent of the one percent that decide what happens on the internet. Or rather, that the algorithms that they people write that curate the web for them.
Compton could literally be anywhere. La is the creative capital of creative work because the degrees of separation between you and your friend base and the people who decide what’s produces are like two or three at tops. Compton isn’t special. Eve lived in the area. It’s not the hood, everywhere is the hood, Sacramento is the hood. People that live in fucking Ladera heights can claim that they live in the hood. People from Sacramento are just as cultured as anyone from la. people from Folsom are just as relevant as the millions of people from la. hip hop beats are just chill study beats. These people sit in traffic all day every day. That’s all I have to say about that. La is great, but so is Sacramento. So is every other city in the us. Most towns are just as special people just need the encouragement to create. One in 20 is a genius. When you get 20 people together even for a moment you have a guaranteed stroke of genius. People are genius by nature. There’s nothing special about plato, Picasso, or Okonma, they just found a small group of people to speak to who spread their message far and wide and now they are who they are. God I didn’t realize how much I needed to just yell these things to. The thoughts in my mind that sleep in my unconscious thought. I wish that I could just record all of my thoughts. Maybe I would think the same things less often. Venting in a permanent forum Is so nice.
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blogsandphotos · 5 years
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So let me tell you about my “Sleep Study”…
From September 28, 2011 at 7:40 AM
So I get to the hospital at 8:50PM. Had to be there by 9 and me being me I try to be on time and for the most part am usually early.
I fill out the typical paperwork and change into a pair of shorts and a tank top to sleep in.  “Bob” comes in and starts to tell me about the electrodes he has to put on me to record my sleep.  Oh no biggie…  HAH!
Now you would think that putting these little electrodes on would be a piece of cake… no such luck!  First the guy takes measurements of your head, then takes a red marker and marks where he wants to place the electrodes.  I swear he was like a 3 year old with a marker coloring on the walls!  Umm ouch!  That’s skin!!
Then they stick the little metal ends of the electrodes in goo. Goo is the only way I can describe this! Then they place them on your body and with the palm of his hand he smashes them down, I swear he was trying to push them under my skin!!!  Then as if that’s not enough, they cover each one of them with at least 2 pieces of tape.  I had two on each leg, one at the corner of each eye, one on my forehead, one at each temple,one behind each ear and 2 on each side of my jaw.
Then I had at least 6 on my skull. Same nasty goo and tape in my hair. That’s nice… Cant tell you how bad it hurt when he was coloring with that marker on my skull!  This is just un-natural!  No one colors their skull with a marker!
Then I had a small microphone taped where my thyroid USED to be. This is to pick up snoring, talking in your sleep, etc.
They I had 2 little stickys for the heart monitor stuck on my chest and one on my side.
As if that’s not enough, they put an elastic belt around the top part of your chest, armpit to armpit. This is to measure your breathing. Really? Who the hell can breath now??
Then they place one around your waist, just as tight. What this is for??? I have no freaking idea, nor do I think I want to know!
Wait, we are not done!!  Then they place this little device across your face. The only way to describe it is, if you have ever been in the hospital and had to have oxygen, the little thing that goes in your nose, well this was pretty much the same thing except instead of plastic or rubbery ends that go in your nose to administer oxygen, these are two metal wires. Why?  Why to measure the temperature of your breathing obviously! WTF?  This is in your nose and the sides are looped over your ears and oh yea…TAPED ON YOUR FACE!
Finally they place the little finger monitor on to measure your oxygen as you sleep.  Or lack there of from the straps that are crushing your lungs!
This all took at least an hour to put into place! The man looks and me as he is doing all this and says, “The goo in your hair will come out very easy if you shower in hot water. Really?  So in the morning, Im to get in the shower when I get home and scald myself to get this crap out of my hair. Hmm sounds reasonable!  Then as he is putting the last 37 pieces of tape on my face he says, “A lot of people say, how am I supposed to sleep with all this crap on me? He says, don’t worry, you’ll sleep, our beds are very comfortable.”
I get into bed, he hooks everything up to the computer and as he is walking out of the room he says, Goodnight.
So I’m lying in bed thinking…I just drove to a hospital, at 9PM to sleep and I’ve had an hour of torture before hand. Yea this is relaxing.
So I look at the clock and its now 10:30. Way past my normal bedtime.  And I lay there…and I turn this way….and then the other way.  The tv shuts off at 11 and Im still awake.  Ive got tape ripping hair out of my head, Ive got two belts strangling me, two wires shoved into my nose and that damn thing on my finger.
Did I sleep?  Well…lets see. The tv went off at 11 and I was still awake.  I remember looking at the clock and it was 12:10AM.  Then I remember it being 1:15AM.  Must have slept cause the next time I looked it was 3:05AM.  The next time I looked it was 4:34AM and finally at 5AM the nurses come in and say in a nice pleasant voice, “Lou Ann..its morning…and im thinking to myself ”THANK GOD”!!
So I sit up and they start to remove all these items. I’m pretty sure I’ve lost some skin off my legs and face from the tape and more then a few hairs from my head!  While they are doing this one lady says, you didn’t sleep much. You tossed and turned all night. Hmm Imagine that.  Then one lady says, I like your bunny. I didnt say nothing at first, Im thinking...what bunny? Thats a strange thing to say haha.  Then it hits me and I realize she means my tattoo..which I politely respond with...oh thanks...but thats a deer.  She must be more tired then me! haha
They ask if I want to get a shower.  No thanks; I can do that at home. So she gives me a washrag so I can wash off my face. Got rid of the goo and the red marker. When I come back to my room she says to me, ….Wait for it…..wait for it…you will want to wash your hair at least 3 times with shampoo when you get home. Really? 3 times?  I’m pretty sure I don’t want my hair to look like straw…and with shampoo? Really? Compared to what? Dish soap? Toothpaste?  What would I use to wash my hair with other then shampoo?
Then she gives me, what tasted like the best cup of coffee EVER while I fill out forms to describe how well I slept. Ummm I didn’t.
Finally I am done with everything and I can leave. As I’m walking down the hall the lady says to me, “Thanks for filling out the paper work and have a great day.  Oh and if they need you to come back they will call you.”  Say what?  Come back? Are you freaking kidding me?  There is no way on Gods green earth I would do this again!
So to all you people who told me, “its not so bad” and you know who you are haha, I have one thing to say…. LIARS! Haha
Anyhow, I was home by 6AM, got my shower, melted the goo out of my hair and am now working on coffee #3 trying to wake up before my day starts.
Today would be a perfect day for a nap, however I have to drop my car off at the dealer to get a part replaced at 9AM. Then my brother wants to go to lunch. By time I get home it will be time to take Taylor to cheerleading.  Then when I get home at 7 I have to finish dinner.  Ill either be in bed by 8PM or be so tired Ill be delirious and not be able to sleep.
Hopefully my little story has made at least one of you chuckle or even smile... but what ever you do...if you have to have a sleep study...dont let anyone tell your.... "its not so bad".  BULLSHIT! haha
Oh yea..I forgot one thing....  Good ole Bob puts on the TV, sets the sleep timer and puts the remote somewhere on the back of the bed and leaves the room after shutting the door behind him.  He put on the History channel...which is fine, I love the history channel...but the show was called "TopShot".  Im sorry I dont need to watch 4 teams of men trying to prove they are better then the others by way of their shooting skills.  Really?  Cause this who experience hasnt been nightmarish enough!  Now I have to try to sit up enough to find the damn remote to change the channel!  And yes Taylor...I put on American Dad! haha
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