#y sense without context 😭 soon

[otwdfanfic]

There’s no point in me making a full Heather outfit drawing (or multiple) since it’s essentially just Morgana fits so instead here’s the outfit vibes ref sheet + some bonus songs bc she probably won’t get a full playlist

[oddsconvert]

was there something you wrote with Felix and Josh that made you cry, if so…share your sorrows

ASDFGHJKL OMG THERE WAS!

It was a scene that takes place wayy down the line in Play Pretend, it may not make all that much sense without a lot of context!

But it was a piece where Felix was forcing Josh's best friend, Alec (who is genuinely in love with Josh) to shoot him - and then Felix was going to shoot Alec afterwards. No-one dies, the bullet is a blank, it's a mock execution. But you can imagine the absolute anguish and fear that put them both in. And they were both so so terrified and saying their goodbyes and confessing feelings 😭🥺 And then Felix swoops in like the knight in shining armour after to comfort Josh when he's inconsolable 🙄

Spoilers below kinda, but here's a little snippet of it:

“C-Can…Can you close y-your eyes, Josh? Please… I - I need you to close your eyes. For me. One last time.”

It’s not like Josh will remember it, but Alec refuses to let this be the last thing Josh sees. His final memory of him. Alec can’t do it whilst he’s looking. He’s completely paralysed, his finger completely stiff over the trigger - even when the rest of him is violently shaking. Josh obliges, and his eyes slip shut like he’s simply just falling asleep.

“I-I’m…I’m so scared. I fought s-so hard to not…to not end up here. I don’t want to go-” Josh croaks, his voice breaking into a high-pitched wail at the end. A warmth spreads between Josh’s legs, and a wet puddle forms underneath him, he squeezes his legs together to hide it. It’s too late - Alec sees. His heart crushes to ash all over again. Josh is absolutely petrified and there’s not a thing Alec can do to help or soothe him.

“I…I know. I am so sorry, Josh. You’ve been so brave. So strong. It’s not long now, hold on just a little longer…and then you don’t have to be brave anymore. This nightmare will all come to an end. I swear.”

“And you’ll be there? You’ll… You’ll come join me? I won’t be alone?”

“Not anymore. Never again. I’ll be there soon. Promise.”

Alec has never broken a promise. Josh scrunches his face up in anticipation, his eyes screwed shut and his hands balled into fists. He’s rocking back and forth with how much he’s hyperventilating. It needs to be done. And he trusts Alec more than anyone in the whole world. He loves Alec, and Alec loves him - he knows now even if it took this much pain to realise. This ends with everything he’d ever wanted in the first place. Someone he could love and depend on.

He’s not saying goodbye. They’re not leaving each other. Soon, they’ll be together again. It’s more of a… see you later.

“Goodnight, Alec.”

[lightlycareless]

Chapter 33 - thoughts.

Hello everyone!! I'm here... again... after disappearing for like 2 weeks lol.

Allot of things happened, between my birthday, surprise visits, me getting sick, me getting sick again, and con's... yeah, I was quite busy (and good thing I postponed the next update lol am I jinxing myself tho?) but I didn't forget writing them notes!!!

I'm sorry it took a while for me to post them, but they're finally here! They're quite short since there isn't much for me to expand on this chapter :> (which you can find over here.... hehe) but I still hope you find them interesting!

Per usual, this post has spoilers so I recommend reading the chapter first, unless you want to get spoilers with no context lol. Also, this is briefly, (mainly not) proofread so I apologize for any mistakes 😭

Now, without any further ado, here are the notes!

As some chapters in the past, I had some issues figuring out what I wanted for an introduction.

I already knew what points I wanted to cover, but there are moments where I have issues connecting those points, so after a while thinking about it, I finally decided to go with the one thing I had talked about in the past, but never really show, that being: Y/N’s letters to Hinata!

Now, it goes without saying that these letters had to be treated carefully since Y/N is meant to be locked away from the world and all that stuff. So, there wasn’t much to be written in that sense, Y/N wouldn’t go ahead to literally write down all of the things she had gone through while on the estate.

Of course, that soon changed when she began to feel some kind of cathartic release while writing them, as well as a feigned sensation that she was actually speaking to Hinata.

 Going back to those letters after I was done writing them was bittersweet. After knowing all that happened all I could think of is “NO, THAT’S NOT TRUE AT ALL!!” 😭😭😭 (on the fabricated ones right) and the way that Y/N was trying so hard to act as if she was living a normal life, like she was contacting her sister as she always did because they couldn’t meet due to her job… ☹ It’s nothing but a lie, a longing for a happy life, in a happy marriage, maybe where Naoya wasn’t her husband but instead anyone else lol.

Ugh, he’s a terrible, poor excuse for a human being. I’m excited for next chapter 😊

Anyways, I added a few details I thought would fit Y/N’s personality, how she would normally “text”, for example, kaomoji’s. It might be a bit… redundant I guess, but it’s the small things that help remind me she’s just 18, super young and already having gone through all this. (Also the first letter made me think that maybe I’m being too serious/dramatic with certain conversations, you know? Like chill, that’s your sister you’re talking/writing to lol)

My favorite letter would have to be the “I hate Naoya” one, inspired by a segment found in the Twilight saga, specifically on New Moon, right after Edward leaves Bella and there’s just chapters that only October, November, that kind of stuff. At one point I was tempted to upload a chapter that only said “I hate Naoya” over and over again and call it a day 😂 (I would’ve posted the rest of the chapter immediately after, but damn … I just might do that later on)

When doing the final editing on the ao3 page, just to check how the chapter was going to look published, I was very surprised to see that segment wasn’t very long… I ended up extending a few “I hate Naoya’s” just because, but I still wasn’t satisfied, considering it was one whole page on my google doc, but I think it still got the point across lol.

From there, the other thing that I wanted to show (and the one that seems to have yall divided 🤭) is Naoaki! And how their dynamic has changed. The staff and Ranta have stated that the two (mostly Naoaki tho) had become a bit bolder with their interactions, and I wanted to show just what they were doing for them to come to that conclusion—cause we’ve seen how they be acting inside closed doors AMIRITE? AAHHAHA

This part was particularly… well, I don’t know if hard is the right word, but I was heavily debating whether to write it in or not because, (I think I stated this before) I don’t want to cross certain lines with the two just yet. This is a Naoya/Reader fic at the end of the day, and reader being with someone else that’s not of the main pairing is…. Well, idk how to say it, a trope that if not handled carefully might sour the story for me lol.

Ahhh, I still want the harem experience though 😂 I can’t seem to understand myself. We’ll see.

My initial notes portrayed Naoaki to be a bit more insistent on the… you know, implications given throughout the whole the grape feeding thing. I supposed it made sense he’d want something more since the two had been going at it for a while, however, I do not think he would’ve been that adamant after her initial rejection.

Sure, he’s been a bit more comfortable with her as days went by and there’s many things that already happened between the two to build a stronger trust, but this specific desire might be a bit too much in this context, so he respected her decision and stopped insisting.

Also, let’s be real, Y/N has too much in her mind to go through with it. She might think of it, cause she’s human at the end of the day and who doesn’t like being doted by a nice, kind and handsome person???, but all that Naoya has done to her is still taking a toll on her.

I haven’t explored much about this topic, but most sexual acts disgust her at this point—it brings her back to the moments she was absolutely miserable with him. So yeah, at least for now, we can rest knowing Naoaki and Y/N are occupied thinking of other things (for now, for now mwahahah)

From there, Mariya’s secret makes its return. It’s here that I realized this is probably the most Mariya has spoken of her relationship with anyone outside her parents (More on that later) thus… it’s only natural that someone would overhear of it eventually.

All things considered, perhaps Hitomi being the one to hear about this wasn’t as bad as literally anyone else, but it’s the emotional value of their connection that worries her!! Hitomi is very… strict when it comes to following the rules, looking up to Mariya as a role model because of such thing—she wishes to have her work ethic, her determination… And Mariya knows that. It’s why she feared telling anyone from her close coworkers to begin with.

Haruko would be somewhat ok with her having a relationship with a fellow employee, after overcoming her surprise of course, since she never, ever, imagined Mariya would break the rules lol. At the end, I imagine both sisters would be very supportive of her, just… not right away.

I find it funny how Hitomi was quick to become suspicious of Mariya as soon as Tatsuro was mentioned. It’s not the first time she’s heard her talk of a man, but rather… her use a tone that would be comparable to excitement. Now THAT’S suspicious.

But she’s unable to confront her since there really isn’t evidence of anything, it’s all in her mind right now. Also, Mariya isn’t known for being a so… yeah, still, very funny indeed. What do you think? Think she’s going to find out who Tatsuro is to Mariya? Or will that remain a secret 👀? (I don’t want Hitomi to know… I fear the reaction she’ll have :’) I actually wanted to develop more that whole scenario in this chapter, but it was getting a bit too long so I decided to postpone it ahaha)

Moving to something happier, Hitomi preparing Y/N a gift because she’s super thankful of her sweets?! Ajkajkgajkjga Her and her sister really couldn’t get any sweeter…. I want them to be happy, just go with Hinata and leave all this shit behind. 😭

Aw man, now I want to write something with all of them together, explore what kind of dynamics they would have and all that. (Well, I do have some pending one-shots… so who knows?)

Honestly these scenes are just excuses for me to live my slice-of-life, fluff fantasy in this nightmare I have written lol.

Now lastly, but not least… the mystery that plagued the last chapter… what the hell was Naoya doing the moment he briefly left Y/N on the record store? We only see him shove something in his pocket, but what is it?

Well, now it’s finally revealed… the thing he was hiding in his pocket was… a receipt! For the things that eventually got delivered to her :> Guess Naoya did pay attention to what Y/N was saying after all, although there’s another motive behind those gifts that will be revealed in the future. Oof, excited for what’s to come.

Y/N’s reaction regarding the discs was something I was the one thing I knew had to be in the chapter, if anything, all was written around that particular detail, there’s no doubt about that.

The way her reaction happened was the only way I envisioned it going down honestly 😂 blatant anger seemed to be… a bit too on the nose I guess, but if you think about it horror sometimes starts from there— So yeah, I couldn’t see her reacting any other way: Naoya has been nothing but piece of trash since they got married, and suddenly he cares for her and what she has to say? Naaahhhh.

It felt like a mockery to her, a way for him to taint whatever good memories she had of her family, so yeah. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sad that she’s unable to react any other way 😣 wishing she wouldn’t have to get emotionally exhausted all the time, but in a place where she’s constantly attacked by everyone around her, and without the appropriate guidance to deal with her emotions, a completely different environment to the one she grew in… yeah, Y/N’s doing the best she can I guess.

Y/N’s decision (or more like approval via Mariya) regarding the relocation of the discs is one we’ll see further developed immediately in the next chapter, how it will affect her relationship with Naoya, as well as what he was doing during these days they didn’t speak to one another!

I’m really excited to post the next chapter, it’s one that I’ve been literally dreaming about!! I just hope I’ll be able to deliver. Agajkgvjkagja!!!!

Anyways, these are the notes I have for this chapter! They’re quite short, since it was straightforward and settled down some points that will affect the future of the story and I don’t think there is much for me to say outside what inspired me, but if there’s something I missed out on please let me know! I’ll do the best of my ability to respond ❤️

As always, thank you so much for coming back for another update! I’m eternally grateful for all of your support 😭❤️ I hope you have a wonderful week, take care, and hope to see you soon!!!

[cheolbooluvr]

so ill get to our big shared chonker of a message hopefully later tonight (sorry i'm taking a little bit with it! i've been weirdly busy the past few days), but i just wanted to respond to the shorter one + address the latest mission!!!

fun fact, you and i are in a very similar position with jun haha. i have a lot of wips with him too, but like, i've never finished a jun fic outside of short little one shots... which is quite frankly obscene because minghao has a word count dedicated to him that's literally more than everyone else in seventeen... I don't even know how many times more because my latest fic with him just reached about 50k... but jun is meant to be my second!!!!! i really want to finish something long with him 😭

still! I know you said its your fault but I will apologise for the confusion regardless! And look at someone who both writes and enjoys angst, no angst is ever too much hehe. there's a weird sense of catharsis in tragedy, at least my onion. I'm excited for how tragic things will get in your latest jun wip. A FREE ONE WAY TRIP TO SPAIN WITHOUT THE S... I LOVE THAT... BUT I totally understand! bittersweet stuff in general sticks with me longer than any other genre of fiction I find, because you continuously think about how they could've been happy but it didn't work out for x or y reason, or maybe even a combo. I'm so happy for you though, I know how good it feels to work on something that you can't stop thinking about, because I've got that fever myself hehe. and that's such an interesting way to write? I can never bring myself to write out of order so I always really admire those who can do it haha. I just never trust myself to remember what details I have established when if I do it out of order like that. Is that how you usually write your longer fics or is this one different?

YESSSSS I ABSOLUTELY AGREE... and he's expressed his desire to act so many times... pledis please... I'm begging u... he would be so good in a tragic drama...

omg I'm so dumb I have to share this with you but ??? I started watching it and I was like wait a minute why do I feel like I'm missing a lot of context... but it was still fun to watch all the characters interact (plus it made me tear up which like.... wowee)... but turns out I started on episode one of SEASON 2...... IM SUCH A FOOL.................. 😭

also! I don't know if you saw the next mission, but were you up for making a play list? I just thought I'd ask before I sent in any prompts!

- 😺 carat anon

HOLY COW I NEVER ANSWERED THIS I’M SO SORRY :(((((((

omg no worries! i have also been weirdly busy??? idk why but i hope you're able to get some rest soon <3

i'm gonna work my way backwards :D

re: the new mission - yes!!! i LOVE curating playlists, like LOVE IT. idk why but let me know any genres you like/don't like, anything at all and i'll do my best!!

OMG SEASON 2 HAHAHA that's so funny plz!! tho tbh, the nice thing abt hospital playlist is that there's no major plot but yeah, there is a bit of context you'll miss out on T^T i hope season 1 is going well tho!! it's kinda long if you're not used to it, but i promise it's super worth it :D idk if you’ve had time to watch anymore, but i’ve been watching it/catching up and it’s rly so good. i cried so much in like…ep 5 of s2? i think? idk one of those ones. but i just rly love how they portray the small things in life. it’s rly beautiful and so well done.

i think my favorite fics are actually angsty ones. i love happy endings for movies and stuff, but the fics that make cry and hurt are my fave?? kinda interesting, the contrast. but yeah, i think you’re right abt that, there are always those lingering ‘what if’s’ those angsty fics always leave you with T^T i mentioned this in the most recent ask, but i can’t write in chronological order rly, lol. i tend to just write scenes that pop into my head first, and then go back and piece it together. it’s tricky for sure, but if i try to move chronologically, i tend to get stuck. so i just jump around instead. and i did that w jun. i divided it up into 4 parts, and then wrote fcertain scnes and then went back to add what i felt i needed to fill in the gaps!! but not trusting yourself w the details, i literally did that w this fic. there are some inconsistencies but it’s posted now and i’m like…too lazy to fix it LOL. but maybe i will……..

wahh!! junhao have dedicated word counts!? that’s amazing. what are they?? :o if you don’t mind me asking ofc.

WAIT 50K WORDS OMG. I WAS JUST READING THAT A STANDARD NOVEL/NOVELLA IS LIKE ANYWHERE BETWEEN 50K-100K WORDS OMG. you’re so amazing, i rly respect you for that omg i would LOVE to hit 50k for a single fic T^T

anyways SO SORRY THIS IS LIKE WEEKS LATE I AM A DUMMY AND DIDN’T REALIZE I NEVER ANSWERED THIS KLFDJASKLFLSA